Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Bill Saluga Encore

Episode Date: May 15, 2023

GGACP salutes the life and career of late comedian and variety show mainstay Bill Saluga (AKA Raymond J. Johnson Jr.) with this ENCORE of an interview from 2017. In this episode, Bill recalls his years in the sketch group The Ace Trucking Company and reminisces about working with everyone from Redd Foxx to Billy Barty to John Lennon (among others). Also, Bill rooms with John Byner, David Frye hits on the ladies, Dick Shawn roasts Uncle Miltie and Bob Dylan pays tribute to Ray J. Johnson. PLUS: Gypsy Boots! "The Steve Allen Comedy Hour"! Bill improvises with Bobby Darin! RFK sings "Wild Thing"! And Pat McCormick meets the Master of Suspense! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Try the new creamy parmesan and bacon Quarter P pounder today and discover how words are so unnecessary for a limited time only at participating McDonald's restaurants in Canada. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast. I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and we're once again recording at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Furtarosa. Our guest this week is an actor, comedy writer, and sketch comedian, and a fixture on television in the 1970s and 80s. Appearing in movies, popular TV commercials, and variety shows, including The Midnight Special, The Mike Douglas Show, The Red Fox Show, The David Steinberg Show, Hollywood Squares, The Steve Allen Comedy Hour, and The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. In more recent years, you've seen him in hit shows like Mad About You, Blossom, Designing Women, Murphy Brown, Home Improvement, Seinfeld, and Curb Your Enthusiasm. He began as a member of the famed comedy group, the Ace Trucking Company, and yes, Pat McCormick.

Please welcome a funny performer, a guy whose name has come up on this podcast at least a dozen times and the man behind one of the most memorable and off-quoted characters in pop culture history. But, um, I'm not really sure what I should call you. That's the problem I'm having. Should I call you Mr. Johnson? Oh, you doesn't have to call me Johnson. My name is Raymond J. Johnson, Jr. Now you can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, or you can call me Johnny, or you can call me Sonny, or you can call me Ginny, or you can call me Ray J. Or you can call me R.J. Or you can call me R.J.J. Jr. But you doesn't have to call me Johnson.

My life is complete. Oh. Okay. But as he's better known to his friends and family, Billy Saluka. Welcome, Bill. Thank you, guys. Hi. Now, Billy, how did you come up with that character?

Oh, wow. It was in the Ace Trucking Company, and we were just doing improvs at the Bitter End Cafe in the village. And we were doing Man on the Street, you know, which is a typical improvisational kind of thing. And I just needed characters, and I came up, and I just said hello. I came up and I just said hello I think it was Fred Willard and he said

well Mr. Johnson and I said oh he doesn't have to call me Johnson Raymond J and then each night I kept adding Raymond Raymond J it just worked out the whole thing was not any inspiration.

It was out of desperation that it came out that way. And I bought a house from it. Yes. It is amazing to me. With that one character that's like about, I don't know, five lines long or whatever. And you were on every single variety show, talk shows, commercials. Everywhere. You had an album out.

To quote James Welch at the trial of Senator Joe McCarthy, have you no decency, sir? Joseph Welch. I don't. Joseph Welch. Have you at last no decency, sir? Well, you know, the best thing about it was is that being a celebrity of that sort, nobody knew who I was. So nobody bothered me because they didn't know me. I would sit in restaurants and hear the people behind me in the booth talking about me, and I was right there.

How bizarre. They didn't know who I was, which is great. And you had on like a zoot suit. Yeah, the pork pie hat. How did the outfit come together, Bill? I don't know. I really don't know. It just, I just happened. Let's see, how did it happen? We're doing a tonight show and I just went back to wardrobe and picked out, and I said, I need a hat and a cigar, and away we go. I love it. And another thing, and I'm sure other people have asked you this, was Ray J sounded a little like a black person. Oh, yeah.

Actually, he was in my mind. Actually, he was in my mind. And I used to get very nervous if there were black people in the audience, you know. But it turned out they were my biggest fans. And I stopped being embarrassed about it because one night I was at the Cafe a Go-Go in the village. And a guy came up to me and he said, hey, man, you're going to do that Swedish guy tonight? So I said, you know, whatever you think he is, that's who he is. So he was a black guy.

He was to me. Yes. Well, his roots were in the, we talked on the phone about this, Bill, a little bit of the kingfish from Amos and Andy. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. A little bit of that style. Right. That's right.

And tell Gil the Mike Douglas story, too, because that's relevant. Oh, well, yeah. We were doing the Mike Douglas show with John and Yoko. And on the show was Bobby Seale and about four Black Panthers. And I was doing this character in a sketch, you know, and Mike was, he was shitting. He didn't know what to do. So we said, now let's just do it. So I did it full out and looked over in the wings and they're all laughing.

They're laughing like crazy. So it didn't matter at all. So the Ray J character entertained the Black Panthers. Yes, yes. Why not? They have a sense of humor. They loved him. They loved that character.

I think it probably reminded them of their uncle or somebody. And now I think you started out in radio. No, no, I did a lot of radio. But I started out, I'm from Youngstown, Ohio, and I started out at the Youngstown Playhouse, and I was there for about seven years. I did a lot of musicals and a lot of plays, and that was my beginning and my learning. And people used to say, oh, you know, you should go to New York. Go to New York, man. You tell, you go to New York.

So I said, all right. So I went to New york and i starved i couldn't get in nothing so i ended up as i worked in market research for a while then i got a job as the doorman at the bitter end cafe and through that i met everybody and then i met the guys in the trucking company and we formed a group and that was was it. The legendary Bitter End. Yeah. And I went to the Bitter End a bunch of times in my early days. Did you ever work there? Yeah.

I never was, like, booked there, but I would go up on stage when they'd had their open mic. Right. Wasn't that one of the first clubs you went to with Arlene? Yeah. Well, that's the weird thing. I thought it was the first, and then Arlene told me it wasn't. Interesting. But it was definitely, I used to go there a lot and go on stage.

And so what made you, like, what was your childhood? My childhood was, I don't know, what do you mean, what is my childhood? I was a little kid. I mean, what, like, led you into show business? Were you a comedy fan as a kid? No, I was always a comedy fan. I always liked it. But what happened was I went into, I was in the Navy for two years,

and I got out of the Navy, and I was sitting in a bar with some people, some guys, and they said, oh, you know what? We're going to go to the playhouse and try out for a show. And I said, oh, that sounds interesting. I'll go with you. And we went to the theater and the front door was locked. There was nobody there. So we went around to the stage entrance and that was locked.

So we broke the door down and I, I literally broke in the show business that way. In Youngstown. In Youngstown. We ended up on the stage and a guy, and the guy came in and he said, how did you get in here? What are you doing in here? So anyway, we went in the back with the director and we read through the script and the two guys I was with were, you know, we just, we giggled through the whole thing. We just laughed. We couldn't, we couldn't do it. We laughed and laughed. And finally I thought, no, I'll never get this. And he called me and I got that show, which was, uh, inherit the wind. Wow. Yeah. Then it went on. So Billy Saluga's show business debut was inherit the wind, inherit the wind. That's right. And then I did a lot of

Your debut was Inherit the Wind. Inherit the Wind. That's right. And then I did a lot of musicals. I did Oklahoma, Finian's Rainbow, Guys and Dolls, Bells are Ringing. Suddenly you're an actor. Suddenly I'm an actor, yeah. And you were there for seven years?

I was at that theater for seven years, yeah. You know who's from Youngstown, Ohio, by the way? Joe Flynn. Oh, my God. That's right joe flynn that's right joe flynn was at from youngstown and he started the playhouse and he and i worked at wkbn uh which is a radio and tv station there and so did he and then i i ran into him on the tonight show one night he was we're doing the tonight show that's cool this is joe fly Flynn from McHale's Navy. Captain Binghamton.

And more importantly, Joe Flynn from The Indestructible Man with Lon Chaney Jr. Oh, is that right? Yeah. Is that right? The look on Bill's face. I think the Warner Brothers

were also from Youngstown. They were. Jack Warner. That's right. That's right. And they have a beautiful theater there that they dedicated to themselves. So you finally, after people were telling you you got to go to New York, you went there and barely paid yourself.

Couldn't get anything. Nothing. You were auditioning when you got there. I was auditioning. Couldn't get anything, nothing. You were auditioning when you got there. I was auditioning. I worked at the Kenley Players, which was a summer theater in Youngstown and Columbus. And he used to bring in all the stars, you know.

And I did a couple shows there. Then I went to New York, and somebody told me to go to the equity because I got an equity card from doing those shows. And I went up there and they were always on the board, you know, jobs to take. And I ended up doing a lot of market research jobs. And then that ended and my roommate was saying to me, you know, he was going with this girl who was the secretary to Fred Weintraub, who owned the Bitter End. And she said, you know, there's a job that pays $10 a night at the doors. $10 a night. I said, you know, that's like a bouncer's job.

I can't do that. So a week went by, and I said, I'll do it. So I went and it worked out fine. Who was at the bitter end in those days? Who was coming in and out of that place? Oh, everybody. It was like, well, let's see, who was there? Well, they were famous for Peter, Paul, and Mary and Woody Allen and Bill Cosby.

Those were the three that they were famous for. And then every folk act you can think of came through there. Everybody. Oh, the Kingston Trio and all of those people. All of them. All of them. Even Nina Simone. Wow.

Now, is it true that Bob Dylan wrote a song with your character in it? He did. Yeah, he did. Yeah, he did. Yeah. Yeah, he did. Do you have any knowledge of how or why, Bill? I have none.

As a matter of fact, my friend Bill here called me and told me about it. I didn't even know about it, and then I heard it. Could you tell us the line? The line that he did? I don't know. The song is called You Gotta Serve Somebody, I think. You Gotta Serve Somebody. Yeah, he went through You Can Call Me me Zimmy, or you can call me whatever.

He even said Ray in it. You can call me Ray. Your life comes full circle in a way there, Bill, because you're working the bitter end and all the folkies are coming through. And 40 years later, Dylan puts you in a song lyric. That's right. I mean, that's an honor to be in a Bob Dylan song. Oh, I know.

I know. It's amazing. You're our first guest out of 180 who's been referenced in a Bob Dylan song. You may be the devil, you may be the Lord, but you've got to serve somebody. You may call me Terry, you may call me Jimmy. You may call me Bobby, you may call me Jimmy. You may call me Archie, you may call me Archie You may call me Ray You may call me anything No matter what you say

Still got to serve somebody Serve somebody Serve somebody It may be the devil It may be the love But you get yourself to L.A. and wind up rooming with our former guest, John Biner? Well, what happened was I was doing these improv classes, and everybody was in it. Richie Pryor, Rodney Dangerfield, everybody was in it. Every once a week, we'd get together and do this improv class.

And a friend of mine, Richard Reitschick, was trying to get a manager. And the manager that he wanted to get was managing John and Thelonious Monk and Moe's Allison. Wow. So the guy came to see us at this class and he didn't really care for my friend, but he wanted to handle me.

And at that time, uh, John had just gotten a big part in a Jerry Van Dyke show. So he was coming out to the West coast and they said, you know, I can't do anything for you if you're back there and I'm out here. So I'm picked up and moved out there and then didn't get anything. And then a friend of mine, Bernie Kukoff was, was, uh, uh, producing a Steve Allen show.

So he hired me as one of the talent coordinators. And, you know, that was great for about a year. And then all of a sudden the guys in New York called me that they were forming this Ace Trucking Company and would I come and join them. And what their line was, they said, come on, you're our Ringo. So you're doing a lot. You're our Ringo. So you're doing a lot of back and forth, Bill. Nothing's happening in New York, but you get interest from a manager.

He says, I can only handle you in L.A. You go to L.A., nothing's happening for you in L.A., you wind up working for Steve Allen behind the scenes. Exactly. And what was that like? You like Steve? I loved Steve. Yeah, he was great.

He used to say that my name sounded like a horn liked Steve? I loved Steve. Yeah, he was great. He used to say that my name sounded like a horn. Saluga, saluga. What did you do for him? I was one of the talent coordinators. I used to hide. I was a talent coordinator, but that wasn't my title. I was a specialty. What do you call it?

Like a booker? A specialty booker, yeah. And what I had to do was I had to find all the funny people around town and all the kooks. And we actually put an ad in the paper, all kooks and weirdos call Bill Saluga at the Steve Allen Show. So I didn't get any calls. And somebody said, you know, kooks and weirdos don't think they're kooks and weirdos. So they're not going to call.

So we took it out. And then all of a sudden, all of these strange people, Gypsy Boots and people. I don't know if you remember Gypsy Boots. People like that. Who was Gypsy Boots? Oh, Gypsy Boots was like a nature boy. He was very well known in Hollywood. Do you remember Gypsy Boots? Oh, Gypsy Boots was like a nature boy. He was very well known in Hollywood. Do you remember Gypsy Boots?

No. Gypsy Boots had long hair. I know, wavy gravy. And he wore like a Tarzan, you know, like a whatever you call that, like a Tarzan outfit. Like a loincloth? Exactly. And he'd go around town and he'd hand out the fruit and stuff. Like a loincloth? Oh, General Hershey Bar was his name. General Hershey Bar. And what was General Hershey Bar?

General Hershey Bar was just crazy. He was just, he dressed in full uniform, and on his head he had two, like, jet planes. Why was Steve Allen booking these odd characters? Well, because if you remember his old show in New York, you know, he went out on the street and any crazy person he brought in. So it was that kind of thing. So we got a lot of mileage out of that.

I mean, I booked every crazy person in Hollywood. Okay. Did you ever have any trouble? Were any of them ever violent or stoned out of their heads? No, no, no. There wasn't. There was another guy. I can't remember his name, but he was into Sanskrit.

And he always had a prayer wheel. Okay, so then you're working for Steve Allen. We're piecing this together. And you get the call, come back to New York, be our Ringo in the Ace Trucking Company. Right. With Patty Deutsch, who we lost this year. Yeah. Great Patty Deutsch.

And Fred Willard, of course. And there's Michael. Oh, Mike. Yeah, that's the one. Michael Mislov. Yeah, Michael Mislov. And George Memoli was the heavy set. Right.

Another funny guy. Memoli was in Phantom of the Paradise. He is. He's in Mean Streets. Yeah. And then, yeah, Mean Streets. He would pop up in a lot of movies. He was in Rocky, too.

He was in Rocky. Oh, that's right. Yeah, he opens up the skating rink. The ice skating rink. Right, for them. Yeah. Passed away young, George. Yeah.

Sad. Early 40s. 46. Wow. He just away young, George. Yeah. Early 40s. 46. Wow. He just indulged totally, you know. He was 556 pounds when he died. Oh my God. Yeah, so you can imagine. But he was a sweet, sweet,

wonderful guy. Funny guy. Versatile. In a lot of stuff. Yes. While Gilbert tries to remember who our guest is. And what's your name? A few words from our sponsor. Planning for a summer road trip? luggage check music check snacks drinks and everything we can win in a new game at circle k check with circle k's summer road trip game you can win over a million delicious instant prizes and a grand prize of 25. Play at games.circlek.com or at participating Circle K stores.

Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsessions, every Thursday, only on Stitcher Premium. Gilbert and Frank, what's your game now? Can anybody play? And now, sadly, we return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. Let's talk about the trucking company forming. So you go back to New York, and now what? Well, I went back to New York, and they had already been formed, and they had already done one Tonight Show without me.

Oh, wait a minute. This is where I've got to stop you. Did you take over for Bobby Alto? Bobby Alto, right. Wow. How about that? Yeah. Wow.

We knew Bobby Alto and Mantia. Yeah. Oh, really? At Catcher Icing Star, I mean, I would see them every night and talk to them. Yeah, it was Bobby Alto and Buddy Mantia. The Untouchables. And Marvin Braverman. Yeah, it was Bobby Alto and Buddy Mantia. The Untouchables. And Marvin Braverman.

Yeah, they were a comedy trio. Oh, really? See, I didn't know that. Well, what happened was that I went back and I saw the act with Bobby in it, and they wanted to replace him with me. While I'm in California, I said, look, okay, I'll do it. But if I come back, you got to tell Bobby before I get there, because he's a friend of mine, you know? And when we get back there and they didn't tell him. So he hated me ever since that, because I, you know, he thought I, you know, took the job away from which I had, I didn't do.

So that was terrible. But anyway, it went from there. So the two of you didn't speak after that? Oh, no. I tried to apologize to them. I said, Bobby, really, I had no idea that they were not going to tell you. And, you know, the hell with you. So it was sad because I really liked Bobby. Yeah, misunderstanding.

So tell us about the trucking company. I mean, you guys wound up doing, what, 40, 50 Carson shows? Yeah. A lot of them. Yeah, we did a lot of them. But you also played colleges. You played hotels. We played all the major rooms in the country and every toilet in the country.

And how did you come up with the name? Well, that was, when I wasn't there in the first show, they went on the Tonight Show and they didn't know what to call us. And they were throwing names around. And George Memoli did a character in the show called, what was his name? Tony Colucci. Oh, yeah. Tony Colucci, and he worked for the Ace Trucking Company. So that was the name.

It stuck. And it stuck. It stuck. And Willard describes the group as like a human cartoon, which I find interesting. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. It kind of was.

There was a short guy. There was a fat guy. There was a ditzy redhead. And in the beginning, we had two girls. We had Patty and Marilyn... Marilyn Sokol. Oh, Marilyn Sokol. We know her. Marilyn Sokol. Yeah, she was

in the first group. And we were doing the Ed Sullivan show, and she was in a little show at the Lincoln Center in one of the first group. And we were doing the Ed Sullivan show and she was in a little show at the, at the Lincoln center and one of the little theaters and the director wouldn't let her off the show to do the Ed Sullivan show. So she just didn't show up. And Michael was with a date and we taught her the lines and she went on the Dan Sullivan show with us. Did you guys come on Sullivan and pretend you were a tumbling act? Yes, exactly. My Bill's laughing in the background.

How did that happen? It was crazy. It was, you know, we'd all come out and go, you know, throw our arms around. And then at the end, we would start to form a, what do you call it? You know, you stand on each other's shoulders. Like a human pyramid? Exactly. We did that.

And then George, the heavy guy, comes out last and barrels into us, and we all fall down. That was it. Now, I heard you didn't do that well on Sullivan. I don't think so, no. Did Ed get the act? No, he didn't know. He said, no, no for the kiddies.

No for the kiddies. He didn't know what the hell was going on. Tell us about some of the sketches. I was doing some fun research. I saw the College of Comedy Knowledge, which I loved. Oh, right. And Danny's Hideaway, I guess, was the big sketch. No, it was Danny's on the Highway.

Danny's Diner on the Highway. Oh, Danny's on the Highway. Right. And I came in for a hamburger, and they said, No, you need a jacket to come in here. It was a dive. It was a diner dive. They put a jacket on me, and they you need a jacket to come in here. It was a dive. It was a dive. They put a jacket on me, and they give me a seat, and they asked, what kind of wine do you want?

I said, no, I only want a hamburger. Well, do you want wine? And then it all went. And they said, now, ladies and gentlemen, please sit still for the show. And then the three guys came out, and they started saying, hello, hello, hello. And they did a dance, a song and a dance. It's very funny. There's a clip on YouTube for our listeners to check out you guys doing that sketch on the Carson Show.

Oh, great. It's amazing. It's like a nine-minute sketch on the Johnny Carson Show. I think it was 12 minutes. I think it was 12 minutes. 12 minutes. I mean, in the days that you could do that. They loved us there.

We didn't have to wait to book. They said to us, if you've got something, just call us and we'll put you on. So that's how we got on every time. We'd write a sketch. Then we'd go on the Mike Douglas show because his show came on two weeks after the Tonight Show. And we'd work it out there on his show. And then we'd come the next day and do it on the Tonight Show, which was live. And we did that all the time. It sounds like fun times. I mean, Willard, there's a couple of interviews with Fred Willard online.

He's talking about you guys playing hotels in Miami and doing shows at one in the morning, and then driving to another place and doing a show in the middle of the night. Yeah, that's right. Four o'clock in the morning? Who's going to see a sketch comedy group? That's right. We were on the road all the time. I was trying to think of what things we did. There was one that was really crazy.

We did a place in Knoxville, Tennessee, and it was like theater in the round, right? So there's a round stage, and the audience sat all around. But on the stage was the band set up with the drums, so you couldn't see behind us. And the revolving stage wasn't a revolving stage. It was a revolving audience. So the audience moved, and the people that saw the beginning of the sketch never saw the end.

And the people that saw the end didn't see the beginning. That's absurd. We said, guys, this isn't going to work. What was the airplane sketch? Was that the one where George is screaming, I'm going to die? There was an airplane sketch about a guy who was afraid of flying. Bill, behind you is nodding his head. There was a biker skit?

Does that mean? We did a lot of biker skits. Biker skits? Yes, we did a lot of biker skits. And something where George dressed in black as an Italian widow? Do I have that right? Oh, that was the reading of the will it was called. It was

George was playing a widow and her husband died and they were going to read the will and in comes Raymond Johnson. Great. He's claiming that the deceased willed everything to him. And to prove it, he pulls out a sheet of paper and it says on it, I request everything to that handsome guy, Raymond Johnson.

And then it went from there. So then what happened? David Fry's manager saw you guys and that helped you get to the Carson show? Oh, David, yeah. Yeah. He managed us for a while, Carson show? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He, he managed us for a while, uh,

for a couple of years. Yeah. And he had David Fry. Joe Lauer was his name. Did you meet David Fry? We understand. Do you know Joe Lauer? Pardon me?

We, we, we hear stories on this show about David Fry, about a strange character. Oh, I'll never forget one time I'm sitting in the improv, and I'm sitting there with a girl, and David comes over, and he says to the girl,

Hi, I'm David Frye, comic impressionist. That was his introduction. I'm David Frye, comic impressionist. He's another one of those performers that we've talked about on this show who it seemed like he did not exist if he wasn't in character. Well, he was. That's right. That's right. He was very strange person. But character wise, he was great. And he could not go on stage and do a character unless he sat with the picture of the character he was going to do for about five minutes in the men's room.

He'd look at that picture and then he'd come out and do his. So he really had to inhabit the person. Exactly. And he did. You know, he was really good. Great Nixon. Yeah. Oh, he everybody who imitates Nixon is just doing a David Frye imitation.

That's right. That's right. And then the trucking company recorded an album. We recorded an album? Right. Did any of these ring a bell, Bill? The Othello sketch, The Last Supper? Othello.

Oh, I played a guy stoned. I did it with Carson, too. I did it on his show. I came out, you know, smoking a joint, and somebody says, hey, and I immediately go to the wall, put my hands up, and he said, no, no, no. Who are you? I said, my name is Othello. He said, well, what do you do for a living?

I said, I'm a paper boy. He said, paper boy? I said, yeah. He said, what paper? I said, zigzag. He said, I never heard of that paper. I said, I bet you haven't. He said, what kind of news is it?

I said, it's all good news. What about the electric chair or the first Buffalo hunt? Any of these mean anything to you? These are on the album, on the H trucking company record, the electric chair or the $3 quarterback. Bill's nodding behind you. He knows them all. Oh, he knows them all. What was that? Oh, I know what that was. I played this very swishy guy,

and I couldn't put my hand under the center's legs, you know, to get the ball. I'd get carried away, you know. Gilbert, go ahead, Gil. No, why were you? I was going to say, you'll love this, that, ha, ha. Go ahead, Gil. No, what were you? I was going to say, you'll love this, that when they did the Mike Douglas show, Bill improvised with Bobby Darin. Oh, geez. Because he wanted to. You know, we were doing it, and he said, hey, hey, man, can I do that?

I said, yeah, come on, and it went nowhere. Oh. Right in the toilet. Right in the toilet. Right in the toilet. It makes a good story. And you were a regular on the Red Fox show? Yes. Yes.

Tell us a little bit about Red. Oh, man. Red, well, I loved Red. Red was very funny, and he was very nice to me. But I was telling Frank the other day that Frank, he was the most irresponsible person I ever met in my life. We get to, we get to on Monday morning,

we'd get together and for a table reading and everybody in the cast was there. And it was a big cast plus the orchestra plus the dancers. There are probably about 30 people there. And it was a big cast, plus the orchestra, plus the dancers. There were probably about 30 people there. And where's Red? Red, he's not, he didn't show up. He didn't show up. So the next day we come in again and he comes in and he called,

he didn't come in again. He called again and he said, I can't make it, man. I broke my wrist. I went, oh, okay. He came in the next day with a cast on his arm, on his wrist. And everyone's, oh, are you okay? Yeah, man, I'm okay.

Next day he comes in, the cast is gone. He took the cast off. Love that. There's a clip online, Gil, that I'll show you. There's a clip online with Billy and Red and Billy Barty. Oh, jeez. And Slappy. Wow.

Dr. Sausage and the Porkchops. That's right. The Porkchops. That's right. Well, Doc. That's right. Doc, it's Thursday night and you know what that means, amateur night. And once again, we have our judge from the Starbucks studios in Hollywood, California. Well, how are you this week, Mr. Johnson? Oh, you doesn't have to call me Johnson.

My name is Raymond J. Jossin Jr. Now, you can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, or you can call me Johnny, or you can call me Sonny, or you can call me Junny, or you can call me Ray Jay, or you can call me RJ, or you can call me RJ Jay, or you can call me RJ Jay Jr. But you don't have to call me R.J.J. Or you can call me R.J.J. Jr. But you won't have to call me Johnson. I believe that you asked me how I is, Dr. Saucy. Well, I'll tell you how I is. Well, that was about ten minutes ago I asked you that. I'll tell you this time right now, I is fine. I is tip-top shape, I is ready for action, I is the pick of the litter, I is priced to move tonight. Because tonight is the semifinals in the amateur contest here at the club.

Yes, and who is this you have, brother? Oh, no. No, no, this is his partner, Mr. William T. Olsen. Oh, well, how are you, Mr. Olsen? Oh, you doesn't have to call me Olsen. My name is William T. Olsen, and you can call me Willie. I used to love Billy Barty. You know, I'd be standing there.

This was offstage. I'd be standing there talking to somebody, and Billy would come over, and he'd just lean on my leg. Lean on my leg. Was he a nice guy? Oh, he was terrific. Yeah. Gilbert lost a part to him.

Yes. I auditioned for Mel Brooks to be in Life Stinks. Oh, right, right. And they were, you know, giving me the whole spiel, oh, you're great in this audition. We really want you. And then at the last second, they said, no, we're going with Billy Barney.

Oh, wow. So you also work with Bob Einstein on the Fox show. Oh, yeah. He's a hilarious guy. Well, he produced that. Yeah, he produced that. And I know Bob for a long time. Yeah.

He's got his own Red Fox stories. I bet. Yeah, he would know more than I would about him. Did you work with Andy Kaufman on that show? Did you guys cross paths? Only once. And I don't remember what it was. I did a benefit, I think it was, at the improv. And he and I shared a dressing room,

but he didn't even talk to me, so I... That's very strange. That's weird. Very strange. And I got to... Whenever I have anyone who's worked with Pat McCormick. Oh, God. I have to ask, there's a famous helicopter story.

Let's see if you know this one. I don't. I don't think so. Oh. You know, I told Bill the helicopter story on the phone with the hookers. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. But he wasn't familiar with it.

Wow. I had never heard that. Oh. You weren't one of the lucky few that got invited. I was not. I was telling Frank my favorite pet story was on the Hollywood Freeway when you're driving toward downtown, there's the Braille Institute, you know, for the blind, the Braille for the blind. And you pass it as you're going on the freeway.

And Pat was with a friend of his one night, and they're going past the Braille Institute, and all the lights were out. And Pat says to the other guy, oh, they must be working late tonight. You guys were in the Jerk 2 pilot? Yeah. Because they were, do you remember this? They did, remember Mark Blankfield? Yes. From Fridays?

They did a, they did a, they did a jerk sequel that Steve Martin produced. And everybody was in it. You and Pat were a team? We were gangsters. Yeah. Yeah. We were gangsters. Yeah.

And that made Paul Williams very nervous because he thought, you know, because he and Pat were working a lot together. Right, right, right. So he didn't. But. Any other past stories come to mind? You know, no. The only one that I told you about was that I was at a New Year's Eve party at a friend's house. And we were standing out in the balcony on the balcony

and Pat says to the group he says anybody want to put a bet down on how far I can throw Billy Saluga over this woman off the balcony off the balcony I how far can I throw him I just recently got a letter from former podcast guest Steve Stolier where he said that one time Pat McCormick and Robert Ridgely and and went to the restaurant with Gary Owens. And at another table, they saw Alfred Hitchcock. And they said to Gary Owens, can we please go over and meet Alfred Hitchcock? And they went over and Hitchcock just kept eating. He barely paid attention. And Pat McCormick said to Alfred Hitchcock, he goes, I've loved you since I was a kid. It would mean the world to me if I could take a shit in your chili.

That's it. I'd never heard that one. All three of them were kicked out of the restaurant. Did you know Bob Ridgely? We hear stories about him. We didn't know him. Oh, he was hilarious. He used to do a dirty John Wayne that was

oh, it was so funny. We missed out on him. Come on in here, you fucking little prick. It was hilarious. We missed out on him. I heard he would go to, like, offices where the secretary was and just pull his pants down. Yep.

That's it. Who was more outrageous, Ridgely or Pat? Oh, wow. Neck and neck, huh? That's a toss-up, yeah. You knew Gary Owens, too. Yeah, I loved Gary. I worked with Gary several times.

Yeah, he was great. And Bob Bridgley and I did a commercial together, too. Which one? It was for Suzuki motorcycles. Ever hear of those? Yeah, sure. That's how well their commercial went. As long as we're bringing up the commercials, you did a lot of commercials.

Yeah, I did. In the Ray J character. Yeah, yes, I did. You worked with Norm Crosby on the Anheuser-Busch spots? Yeah, a lot of those, yeah. Yeah, I think I did about four. I was working with Norm. He's still with us.

Oh, he was great. He was great. Oh, he was great. He was great. We did a convention, Anheuser-Busch convention in San Francisco. And he said to me, Billy, he said, when you come out, come out fast because I don't want to be standing out there with egg on my face, you know, so he said, come on out. I said, okay, all right. So I hit the, hit the stage and the audience went crazy. They went crazy. And I had to walk around the stage a couple of times before they quieted down and I could come over to him. And he was worried about that. He was going to have egg on his face. I almost lost those commercials because, I don't know if you know who Tom Shales is? Yeah, he's a critic, TV critic. Yeah, Washington Post. Anyway, he came to my house to interview me.

So we had a nice time. We had a nice interview. And he said to me, he said, you know, I was tempted to go and look in your refrigerator, see if you had any Anheuser light, whatever it was called, and I said to him, I said, I said, look, I just tell you what to call it. I didn't say I drank it, and I, you know, I thought I was just saying it to him, and he printed it. Wow.

And Huggy Bush went crazy. Oh, he wanted to fire me on the spot, but we ironed it out. Wow. But almost lost it. Wow. Gil, can you relate to having a difficulty with a sponsor? Hmm. Losing a big account?

No. Oh, man. Offhand can't think Tell us about The disco record Bill And how that came together Or came to be How did that come to be?

And it's still around You can find it Yeah, yeah That came about By How did that come to be? And it's still around. You can find it. Yeah, yeah. That came about by, I don't know. They just wanted to do a record with me, A&M, Herb Alpert. Mm-hmm. And they got this guy, Ron Kersey.

Ron, have mercy, Kersey, who was one of the tramps. And he wrote the song about the fire. Oh, Disco In he wrote that oh geez and he wrote he wrote the johnson this song yeah it's great i can't get enough of it and and i heard like the ace trucking company they used to be able to write a sketch like you know just like immediately well you know that was our our act was we do what we do about an hour show and we would open with a set sketch that we had written and then the rest of the show was totally improv and not like second city where you go backstage and you know figure it out we just took it right from the audience whatever they wanted we did it right on the spot and we were pretty good at it too so some of it was improv and some of it was scripted well the show

was mainly all improv except for maybe the first and the last sketch. Really? We would open with a set sketch, and then we would close with a set sketch. But in between, it was all improv. And, of course, what we would do is when we did the improv, then Michael would tape everything, and then we'd go back and listen to it and work it out and throw this out and add this. So that's how we wrote most of the time. Go ahead, Gil. Is there something that you, when you watch other improv groups.

I can't. No, you can't. I can't. Why is that? I can't. I don't know. It just makes me nervous. I don't know why.

Well, that's the way I feel when I watch, like, stand-up comics. Yeah, yeah. I just when I watch, like, stand-up comics. Yeah, yeah. I just, I can't watch it. You know, like, there's that show on that everybody loves that they, whatever. Oh, Whose Line Is It Anyway? Yeah, yeah. No, those guys are talented. Don't get me wrong.

They're talented people. I just, for some reason, I can't watch it. I guess in my mind, I'm feeling like, you know, the flop sweat that's happening, going to happen. Oh, it brings you, oh, it gives you flashbacks, huh? I guess in my mind I'm feeling like, you know, the flop sweat that's happening, going to happen. Oh, it brings you, oh, it gives you flashbacks, huh? I guess. I don't know. Although I never felt that on stage when we were improvising. How did the Ace Trucking Company come to hook up with Tom Jones?

Because Fred Willard gives you credit. Says you basically talked your way onto the Tom Jones show. Me? Me personally? Yeah, I saw him do it in an interview. He says, is that not true? He said, Saluga just went up to them and said, why don't you put us on the show, on the Tom Jones show? Maybe I did.

I don't know. That came through Joe Lauer, our manager. And you did This Is Tom Jones. Remember that show, Gil? Oh, yeah. Yeah. They were the in-house repertory company. or a manager. And you did This Is Tom Jones. Remember that show, Gil? Oh, yeah. They were the in-house repertory company. We did two seasons.

Tom Jones was supposed to be very funny, you said. He was a very funny guy, actually. Yeah, he was a very nice guy and rolled with the punches. He was really, really fun to work with. I liked him. And then we went on the road with him, too. We did Las Vegas with him. And we did the Latin Casino out of the side of Philadelphia.

Yeah. And he had his way with the ladies, too, Tom Jones. Oh, baby. Oh, baby. Did you witness anything? Well, I did, yeah, witness a lot. Well, one time when we were playing, when we were in Vegas, our dressing room was right across from his, and our door was always open.

And one night his handlers came in with a big box, and it was his birthday, and they were going to present him with this birthday present, and they brought in a naked girl, and she got in the big box. So they took the box in with the girl, and he took it off, and everyone laughed, and they went crazy, and he took her in the back room to show her his etchings, I guess. His etchings. And what we did was then he was on stage by himself doing his show and we decided we were going to surprise him.

So we got the box and we put George, the fat guy, in it. In his skivvies. And we took it out to present him his birthday present and he saw that box and he thought oh shit they're bringing that girl out here and we took the box off and it was george and he started hugging him and oh he was relieved oh he was relieved and yeah and he and he loved it he loved yeah and And he liked joining you on stage. Yeah, he did. Yeah, he did.

There was another thing that when we were in Philadelphia with him, it was his birthday again, and he was going around telling a joke about, oh, God, what was the joke? It was about somebody with animals, about animals. The guy was fucking animals all over the place. And the punchline was something about. They gave him a chicken to fight. He said, a chicken?

I'm not going to do a chicken. So on his birthday, we bought him a chicken. There was this big deal when they had violins were playing behind the table for the dinner. And he opens up the box and this chicken flocks out as well over the place. That reminds me of the Ronnie Shell story. Yeah. Ronnie Shell was on with us and he claimed that Alan Ladd used to. Oh, my God. Yes. It's this very strange story that he would.

Go ahead, Gil, you tell him. According to Ronnie Shell, you know, leading man Alan Ladd, he was into gathering a group of women and they'd all stand around in a circle and he'd stand there in the center of the circle naked, holding a chicken and the women would sing You simply got to fuck the chicken! to fuck the chicken. So that was before Tom's chicken.

Yeah. It seems to be catching. I guess. Let me do this quick, Bill. We get some questions from our listeners. We call this Grill the Guests, which people do on Patreon. And one of our listeners, Scott Stite,

wants to know, Bill worked a lot with Red Fox, but did he ever walk in on him while he was relaxing? Oh. I never did, but I certainly heard those stories. Einstein said, you know. Oh, yeah. He would. Yeah. Well, he would.

Yeah, he would have walked in on him. Yeah, because they said he would be going down on a girl. Yeah. And then the person who'd walk in by accident, Red Fox would take his head out of the girl's legs and go, can a guy relax? That's him. Here's another one. Barrett Letty says, I'd love to hear Bill talk a little bit about the late George Memoli. We talked about George who died before his time at 46. I found this online.

Did Richard Pryor hit George with a chair? Oh, he did? Yeah. Bill is nodding. In some kind of drug stupor? Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, he said George did a gay joke about Richard. Oh, really?

That's what he said. How strange. I heard he sued him and won. He did? Yeah, he sued Pryor and won money. Did you know that? Wow, no. He hit him with a chair. He fractured his skull. It wasn't about Richard.

It was just a gay joke, he said. Yeah. How strange. And Richard, of all people, didn't have a sense of humor. Yeah, it's great. I can remember once when I was working at the door at the Bitter End, Richard was there, and we were talking. We were just talking and talking. And then he left. And the next day I hear on the TV that he was supposed to be on the Ed

Sullivan show. And he was standing there talking to me. He didn't, he just never showed up for the show. Wow. Do you remember anything about working with an orangutan, Bill, on a show called Going Bananas? Oh, Going Bananas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was, I was partnered with James Avery. I don't know if you know. Oh, yeah, James Avery from Fresh Prince. Exactly, yeah. And we played like kind of Laurel and Hart kind of characters.

And, yeah, we did, I guess we did about eight of those. Yeah. It was a kid show. It was a morning kid show. I was working with the monkey. The ape. The ape. It was okay.

There was a lot of animals on that show. A lot. You're like our eighth or ninth guest to work with an ape. I'll tell you that they're really strong and the trainer wanted me to get used to him so he had me sit down with the orangutan and the orangutan

got his legs their feet their legs have feet on them and he put one on my leg and the other on the other leg and he started to stretch. And he was breaking me in half. And finally the trainer came over and said, no, no, no, no, don't do that.

Don't do that. Wow. Wow. You could have been injured. Big time. Yeah. But orangutans are, they're not supposed to be that vicious, really. No, he was not vicious.

Yeah, he's just strong. He was just playing. Yeah, strong. So you're afraid of chimps, but you're not afraid of orangutans. Oh, chimps. Chimps scare me. Yeah, I don't like chimps either. I don't like orangutans either.

So you hate any type of vape? Yeah, any type. Anything that'll shit on your floor. Here's some wild cards, Bill. Any memories of working with Cher or Ann-Margaret? Well, the only thing I remember about Cher was we did it at the Bradbury building in Los Angeles. Oh, sure.

It's a great building. Very famous building. And all I remember is sitting in the corner with her for about an hour because they were setting the cameras and that. And she was very sweet. Oh, she was? Yeah, very nice. And Ann Margaret, I don't remember too much about Ann Margaret's show. You did a show with Ann Margaret and a bunch of other people.

Yeah, I did a special with her. I did a special with Don Rickles. Yeah, what about that Rickles special, which John Wayne was on? He was? Yeah. Yeah, well, you were in the airport sketch with Rickles and Steve Landisberg. Oh, God, yeah. And Rip Taylor.

See, I didn't remember Rip being on that show, but I'm sure you know more than I know about that. What was Rickles like to work with and spend time with? Rickles was very sweet. He was a sweet guy. You know, nothing like he is on stage. And you were pals with Anthony Newley, too. Anthony Newley.

I loved Anthony. Anthony was great. Yeah, we did we did the big hall in Toronto. O'Keeffe Center.

O'Keeffe Center with Anthony. And we became very close friends and we hung out together for a while. Guy with a great sense of humor. He was great. I remember him in variety shows in the days when singers like Steve Lawrence and Anthony Newley and Tom Jones would do comedy on variety shows, and Newley was funny. Back then, everybody did everything.

That's right. Comedians would sing and dance. Dancers would do comedy. And Anthony Newley would come out and go there's always a Joker in the pack. There's always a

cardboard clown. That's pretty good, Gil. He didn't think he was talented at all. He would get so nervous going on stage. Really? Which was surprising to me, you know? Yeah, he dreaded it.

Funny guy. Yeah. And I think Rex Harrison used to refer to Anthony Newley as that chew. Where'd you come up with that? Anthony Newley was a Jew. We talked about that movie that Anthony Newley starred in and wrote. Can Hieronymus... Oh, can Hieronymus. Oh, can Heronius Mercy.

Oh, no. Merkin. Can Heronius Merkin marry Mercy Humpey and find true happiness? Do you guys know this? No, I never heard. Bill Billis. No, no. I know that he was in movies when he was a kid.

He was like a teenager. Yeah. I think he married Joan Collins at one point. Oh, that's right. Yeah. They did, yeah. And you were pals with Doc Severinsen. Well, Doc is still around.

Yeah. Yeah, we hung out a lot together. You stay in touch? How's he doing? I haven't heard. The only thing I heard was that on the radio, that he was coming to town with a concert, and they said, you know, 90-year-old Doc Severinsen. I thought, wow.

Wow. And you worked with Flip Wilson. Yeah, I did. I did. But not on his variety show. He had a show. I can't remember what the name of it was, but it was Flip. Charlie's Company or Charlie and Company?

That's right. Oh! And Gladys Knight was on it. Right. I did that. That was the only time I worked with Flip. You worked with everybody, Bill. I worked with a lot of people, you know.

And look where I'm at now. Tell us about Seinfeld. Tell us about showing up as the usher on Seinfeld, and then eventually you went up on Curb Your Enthusiasm with Larry. Yeah, yeah. Well, I went up and I read for it, and they gave it to me. I played my feminine character as an usher. Well, Larry knew who you were.

Obviously, it wasn't a blind audition. Right? No, actually, it was. Really? I came in and auditioned for him with Jerry and everybody, and Richard, all of them were in the room, and they gave me the part. And then I actually had to audition for him for Curb, too.

And you played Richard Lewis's what, cousin? His uncle. His uncle. Lewis Lewis. Lewis Lewis. Lewis Lewis. I like that connection. We had Richard on here a couple of weeks ago.

He's great. You were the last relative that, if I remember this, that could donate a kidney to him. That's right. But you slipped into a him. That's right. But she slipped into a coma. That's right. And I did three shows and the first two shows I was

in a coma. I just laid there. So that was an easy job. Oh, it was great. It was great. You didn't have to memorize lines? Nothing. Well, that was a great part about doing that show was that, you know, Larry would sketch it out,

but you didn't really have any lines. You kind of improvised over what his thoughts were for the character. So it was easy for me. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast, but first, a word from our sponsor. What about playing yourself in the movie, a movie I like, The Great Buck Howard, John Malkovich. Oh, wow. Yeah. Movie. You played

Billy Saluga. I did. What was the context? How'd you get it? The context was that, geez, I don't remember. We did one scene in a dressing room. And all I did was I went up to John Malkovich. And I said, please don't mention my character. I'm not going to do it. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That was it. That was it. And one of the biggest pain in the asses I ever met in show business was Gary Coleman.

Oh, Gary Coleman's in that movie. Gary Coleman. This little prick didn't shut up all day. He didn't shut up. And he was telling the director how to direct the scene. And I'm standing here with Jack Carter, who's not, you know, he's pretty tough. Wow. And he says to me, Jack says to me,

Billy, doesn't that little prick ever shut up? And I thought, look who's talking. Look who's talking. Did you know Jack Carter well? We missed out on him on this show. I had worked with him once before that on this movie, and that was it. He was in bad shape. We were driven home together, and I had to carry his suitcase and help him to the door.

He was in bad shape. Yeah, because we had him booked for the show and he died. Oh, really? I'll tell you the biggest pain in the ass of the show. Now we're rolling. Milton Berle.

Uncle Miltie was a prick and a half. We roasted him once I was doing some roast from Vegas With Steinberg And on the show was Dick Dick No no

Oh god He was a comedian Handsome guy Dick Sean Dick Sean Oh, God. He was a comedian. Handsome guy. Dick Sean? Dick Sean. Dick Sean, yeah. So Dick Sean got up to roast, and he says, you know, he said, I didn't know Milton very well,

but he said, I kept hearing about how big his instrument was. He said, but, you know, he said, one day I walked into the spa at Caesar's Palace and there was Milton. He said, I thought he was with his nephew. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Were you ever lucky enough to see Burl's penis? No, no, thank God. Wasn't Tom Jones the guy in a maybe bullshit who made the bet with him? I heard, yeah, Tom Jones and Milton Burl made a bet who had a bigger dick. Oh, really? And Burl started to open his pants.

And when he got halfway down, Tom Jones goes, okay, okay. I've seen enough. I'm out. Why didn't you like Miltie, though? Because he had to be in charge of everything. Uh-huh. In charge of everything. As a matter of fact, in charge of everything.

As a matter of fact, on the, on the roast, I was coming out in, in a dress to roast him, you know, and I was coming out as, as Raymond Johnson in a dress. And he said,

Billy, I want you to come on the day before the roast. I want you to come up. We want to try on dresses. I had to go and I had to try on dresses. And then he said, you know, Billy, I want you to wear false eyelashes and earrings. I said, Milton, I'm doing a character,

not trying to play a woman like you. So that was that. But I asked one of the writers that were doing the roast, I said, how was he? And this guy had written for other big comedians. Al Jolson was one of the people he wrote for. Wow. And I said, how was Milton to work for when he worked on his show?

He said, oh, he was the worst. He said he used to wear a whistle around his neck, and every time he wanted a writer, he'd blow the whistle. And they had it come running. So two sons of bitches you never wanted to work with again were Gary Coleman and Milton O'Cole Melty. And thank God they're dead. I love the idea that gary coldman was did you work with gary coldman gill i met him once i never worked with him oh man he was a he was terrible anybody else you want

to disparage that's that's gone bill well those are those are my top two. Actually, Jack Carter was one of my top ones, but then he, you know, he went back to three because these two guys beat him. So you had issues with Carter. Oh, he was another guy. They never shut up. They just, and loud, very loud. That's going on and on and on. God. Oh, God.

This is fun. But everybody else in the show business I love. Everybody else you liked. Yeah. I loved them all. But it was those three. Oh, those three. That's a pretty good ratio, Bill.

That's not bad. No. Not bad. So Gary, I can't get over it. Gary Coleman would push the director around. He didn't push him around, but he said to him, why don't you put the camera over here and shoot me over this way? And I said, what are you talking about? Sit there and do what you're told.

He talked. He never shut up. He just talked and talked and talked and talked. Hilarious. Any other memories? Because we kind of glossed over you did the Douglas show with John and Yoko. Any other memories of them? No, not really.

I mean, I just met them briefly and said hello, and that was it. And then we did our thing and left, you know. That was it. That was it, yeah. Yeah. Interesting. I was trying to get him to go after Yoko the way he did Gary Coleman. I couldn't get him to bite.

No, you know, I don't even know that I met her. I know I met John, but I don't remember meeting her. So you didn't really talk to him or anything. No, we were just introduced, and I said, hi, nice to meet you. Were you on The Simpsons, Bill? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Playing yourself or playing the Ray J character?

It was Raymond Johnson, and I was playing, what's it called? McLaughlin. McLaughlin, and what's that, where everybody goes that all the country Western singers have their own, you know what I'm talking about? Branson, Missouri. Yeah, one of those places. And I was Raymond Johnson. It was Charo.

Mr. T, I think. I think Mr. T. Mr. T, you're right. And I came on, and I sang a song. I said, you can call me Ray and you can call me Jay, but don't call me something. Don't call me out of work because I do three shows a day. Fantastic.

Anything else, Gil, for this man? Oh, God. I can't. I think we've hit on just about everybody. Nobody else you want to trash, Bill? My friend that's with me here. Tell us your friend that came that was nice enough to come down with you. He's a notable person himself.

Tell us your friend that came that was nice enough to come down with you. My friend is a notable person himself. My friend is Bill Minkin, and he made a record of Senator Bobby. Bobby Kennedy, The Wild Thing. I don't know if you remember. Wait, was this one of those where they chop in songs? No, no. He did the impression of Bobby Kennedy singing The Wild Thing.

I remember this. That's him. And then he also had a radio show. What was it? King Biscuit Flower Hour. Sure, well, that's famous. Yeah, that was like a wild thing. Will Bill do a couple

of minutes of it for us? A couple of seconds for us? Can he be persuaded? He'll dance if you want him to. Yeah, could you sing a little of that? Bill, let's hear a little bit of it. You can jump on Bill's mic there so we can hear you. Here we go. Here.

A wild thing. You make my heart sing. You make everything groovy. Now I remember it. You remember, Gil? Oh, absolutely. RFK does the troggs. That's fantastic.

Then wasn't there a record of Dirksen? Oh, Everett Dirksen. That was the flip side. And what did Dirksen... The flip side. He also sang Wild Thing? I got two for the price of one. Bill, thanks for doing it.

Wild Thing, you made my heart sing. Do you remember this? I do remember that. That sounded more like Bill Buckley to me. They used to play that on the radio all the time. Yeah. Wow. And then Bobby Kennedy got killed, and there was his career.

That was how he was Vaughn Metered. Oh, wow. Did you know him, Bill? Did you know Vaughn Metered. Did you know him, Bill? Did you know Vaughn Meter? Oh, yeah. Yeah, very well. Yeah. Yeah, I knew everybody.

I think you did. Tell us about Vaughn Meter before we sign off. He was, you know, there's not much to say about him that I can remember. Well, here's the thing, though. Now he's going to take over. Go ahead. What happened with Vaughn Meter was he used to do a stand-up as Kennedy, and he went in a big place in Washington, D.C.,

just as that record hit. And then Kennedy said he sounds more like Teddy than I do, and that's why that record became such a huge hit. But he did weird stuff in the standup about Kennedy. And he was banned from the white house. Oh, John, John, we got to meet Robert Kennedy, but, uh, and Teddy came in by the way. Wow. We were there. And he, and, and he says, uh, I guess you sound more like me than Bob. I said that,

that your brother said that first, Ted. Wow. It was strange. I never knew that. I never knew that. Wow. It pissed him off because he never got to meet JFK. Then he tried to do Lyndon Johnson after that.

Jesus Christ. And then he ended up playing the piano and singing country western songs. Right, I remember that. Yeah, came to a bad end, the poor man. Yeah. Yeah. Well, on that note. Well, now I want to throw myself out of the window.

It could be worse, Gil. You could be Gary Coleman. It could be worse, Gil. You could be Gary Coleman. I wish I was that tall. Bill, this was a hoot. Oh, it was great. Thank you.

So much fun going down memory lane and hearing these names. We got an RFK doing Wild Thing as a bonus. And a Dirksen. Through whatever, Dirksen for you. God, does that bring back memories. Oh, go ahead. No, that's us, memory guys. That's what this show is. I mean, we started it, I told you on the phone, three years ago.

Yeah, well, this is great. This is great fun. I enjoyed it. You know, we want to keep all this stuff alive and keep these stories out there. God bless you. Bless you. You have come up on this show. Your name has come up on this show so many times with so many different people.

And then it became a running joke. Why the hell aren't we getting Billy Saluga in here? Yes. Yes. Really? And here you are. There I am. And you got me.

Full barrel. Such power we wield. And so, I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre.

And, um, I forget. Should I call you Mr. Johnson? Oh, you doesn't have to call me Johnson. My name is Raymond J. Johnson, Jr. Now, you can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, or you can call me Johnny,

or you can call me Sonny, or you can call me Johnny, or you can call me Ray J., or you can call me Johnny, or you can call me Sonny, or you can call me Johnny, or you can call me Ray J, or you can call me R.J., or you can call me R.J. J, or you can call me R.J. J. Junior. But you doesn't have to call me a Johnson. It takes me back.

A great Billy Saluga. Billy's a treat for us. I have to thank Gino Salamone, who called you and set this up. We have to thank Bill. Bill Minkin, yes. Bill Minkin for entertaining us. And this is just the reason that we created this show.

Thank you so much for thinking about me. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Gilbert, nice meeting you. This was a gas. Nice meeting you.

That was terrific. You can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, but you doesn't have to call me Johnson. You can call me RJ, or you can call me JJ, but you doesn't have to call me John Gilbert Godfrey's amazing colossal podcast is produced by Dara Godfrey and Frank Santapadre with audio production by Frank Verderosa web and social media is handled by Mike McCadden Greg Pair and John Bradley Seals special audio contributions by John Beach special thanks to Paul Rayburn, John Murray, John Fodiatis, and Nutmeg Creative. Especially Sam Giovonco and Daniel Farrell

for their assistance. Thank you. Dancing, dancing, dancing Johnson Dancing, dancing, dancing Johnson