Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Classic: Dana Gould Part 1

Episode Date: August 24, 2023

GGACP celebrates the birthday (August 24th) of comedian, actor and Emmy-winning writer Dana Gould by revisiting this first installment of a 2-part interview from 2021. In this episode, Dana talks about the "science" of monster movies, the extravagance of Sammy Davis Jr., the generosity of Roddy McDowall (and Charlton Heston!) and the inventive web series, "Hanging with Dr. Z." Also, Dwight Frye checks out, Darren McGavin dons a bathrobe, Orson Welles turns down "Beneath the Planet of the Apes" and Andy Griffith "punches up" "The Ghost and Mr. Chicken." PLUS: Burt Mustin! "King Kong Escapes"! "Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine"! Don Knotts meets Mr. Potter! And Dana teams with the one and only Mel Brooks! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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covers it all get on the money search on the money with Dynamic Funds and follow today. TV comics, movie stars, hit singles and some toys. Trivia and dirty jokes, an evening with the boys. Once is never good enough for something so fantastic So here's another Gilbert and Franks Here's another Gilbert and Franks

Here's another Gilbert and Franks Colossal classic Take your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape! Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. Like Robert Quarry in The Return of Count Yorga, our guest this week is also returning for a second time.

returning for a second time. He's an actor, voice artist, a producer, podcaster, and author, a film historian, an Emmy-winning comedy writer, and one of the best and most admired stand-up comics of his generation. You've seen him in films like Mystery Man, My Fellow Americans, Father's Day, Dumb and Dumberer, When Harry Met Lloyd, The Aristocrats, that rings a bell, as well as on popular TV shows like Seinfeld, The King of Queens, The Daily Show, Conan, Our Family Guy, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Anger Management, I'm Dying Up Here,

and Stan vs. Evil, which he also produced and created. He's written a graphic novel, Planet of the Apes, Visionaries, and for numerous television specials and including critically adored The Ben Stiller Show, Parks and Recreation, The Simpsons, for which he was awarded two primetime Emmys, and starred in his own stand-up comedy specials, Dana Gould, Let Me Put My Thoughts In You, and Dana Gould, I Know It's Wrong. He's also the host of an essential monthly pop culture podcast called the Dana Gould Hour and is currently writing, hosting, and starring in the internet talk show Sensation Hanging with Dr. Z. In fact, a brand new episode just dropped this week. Frank and I are happy to welcome back one of the funniest and most knowledgeable people we know.

A performer who's played everyone from Newt Gingrich to Wilford Brimley and worked with everyone from Bob Hope to Bob Cat Goldsway and a man who once penned a Simpsons episode under the name Lawrence Talbot. The man of a thousand obsessions, Dana Gould. Hearing all that, how am I broke? How is it possible welcome dana how is it that i'm selling cameras what would what

i'm wearing a cardboard belt i'm wearing a barrel barrel and suspenders good christ Christ. Hi, Gilbert. Welcome back, my friend. Nice to see you guys. Now, you wanted to talk about Dwight Frye, so we better start right away. Anybody who dies on a bus, I want to talk about. So did he die on a bus or walking down the street? I heard walking down the street.

On a bus. I heard he was on his way to work. He worked at an aircraft plant, and he had a massive heart attack. He was working at an aircraft plant. He was getting ready to play the Secretary of Defense in the Woodrow Wilson biopic that was then gearing up that was big talk, and it was going to be a big job. He hadn't had one in a while and he was excited about it, but he was still working at an aircraft plant. And he suffered a massive coronary on the bus to work, from what I understand.

If Joe Dante says he died on a bus, he died on a bus. I'm not going to question it. on a bus yeah don't talk to i'm not gonna get it i'm not gonna question it and i heard in the obituary uh they said dwight fry tool designer yes that's what he put as his job he was working at an aircraft factory working on constructing aircraft for world war ii and that was his job in the factory and that's what he put he was a very self-effacing kind of modest kind of modest guy and and on broadway or wherever he was like uh actually a song and dance man yes he was and we were we were talking about this before in in in both dracula and frankenstein which are they're great but they're very mannered

film you know there is that 30s sort of theatrical but he gives very modern performances yes like he's like renfield is a very modern performance and like when when carl which is the name of the character in Frankenstein, people assume it's Igor because it's become Igor, but the character's name was Carl. When he stops to pull up his socks going up the stairs, there's a lot of really funny, small, real behavioral moments that no one else in those movies are doing.

And it's funny. It's always when you talk frankenstein they always say oh and his hunchback the assistant igor and uh it was like carl or or which one was carl and which one was fritz was it bright of no you're right i'm wrong it was it was Fritz in Frankenstein, and then he played a character named Carl in The Bride of Frankenstein. Yes. He did a different character, so good call on that. I was wrong. And Lugosi was actually Igor.

Played Igor in Son of Frankenstein. And Lugosi, who gets a lot of crap as being a mannered actor, which I disagree with, he's great in that role. Terrific. Terrific in that role. Doja. And Lugosi also looks like he's having fun. Yes. As Igor.

Which he doesn't in Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman. Horrible. Horrible. Horrible. And you know, Legosi winds up only being on screen in Frankenstein meets the wolf man for, I think, six minutes. Yeah. And now, now have you,

I know you've discussed the diet, his dialogue in that movie. Yes. By the way, the, these conversations is why this podcast should be called Operation Panty Drop. We toyed with that title. Here we go.

If you can't get pussy talking about Dwight Frye, then you're hopeless. What about skeleton eggs? That's a panty dropper too. I'm going to throw down Bernard Jukes and it's going to be like Bob Guccione in the 70s. But, you know, he had dialogue and then they laughed at it in the preview and so they cut it all

because it was Frankenstein's monster, but it was, he was doing Igor's voice and they cut it all. But there are still scenes in Frankenstein meets the Wolfman where he's moving his lips and you don't hear anything. And the reason he's walking around and what invented the Frankenstein walk, you know, when people do a Frankenstein walk,

it's Lugosi and Frankenstein. Yeah. And what invented that was he was also supposed to be blind. Right. He was blind from the end of Son of Frankenstein. Mm-hmm. And, oh, Ghost of Frankenstein. Ghost of Frankenstein.

Oh, God, I'm so... And that's when he says, Frankenstein, you played on me a trick. You know, Dana, we had Donnie Dunnigan on this show. Wow. How old is he now? Oh, in his 80s. Yeah.

Yeah. He was terrific. Terrific. He's plug and play. Ask him one question. You got a 40 minute podcast oh that's that's fantastic that's fantastic he's great and we had janet angalo too who passed who passed away last year she was from ghost of ghost of yeah you know uh you talked

about my uh my my story my storied career um a year ago before, so it was 2019, I had the very great pleasure of spending a lot of time with Mel Brooks. We worked on a project together that shall remain nameless, but may happen. Oh, good. I hope it does. But he was talking about making Young Franken frankenstein and he was like you

know so we i call i call kennedy is kennedy strickfadden as this i call him up and and i said well you know could you recreate this dr frankenstein said he goes it's in my garage i don't have to read we drove to venice and it's in his garage i don't have to read we took it out of the car two days later it was set up it's a great story and i told him i told him uh greg nicotero who is the exact producer of the walking dead and you know he's a big monster guy he's the if you ever see knb effects as especially he's the n and knb effects big nerd guy one of us and he owns the operating table from young frankenstein that he bought at a show and i said to mel like oh now mel my friend greg owns the operating table from young frankstein. And he just goes, why?

And he signed it. And he signed it. And I think he signed the picture of what's great. What is wrong with you, Mel? You know, it's funny. And talking about the mechanics, you know, it's funny. And talking about the mechanics, you know, Strittfaggen's inventions, number one, there's nothing there that really makes any sense.

A lot of Tesla coils. Yeah. I mean, it sounds great, and it lights up and spins around. Nothing does anything. And it's all powered by lightning. Yes. It doesn't work without a kite. State of the art.

If the lightning didn't hit the kite, all right, same time. Everybody be back tomorrow. Come up with three new ideas tomorrow. Oh, and in Bride of Frankenstein, I think it is. I mean, there are no light bulbs or anything like that. But Dwight Frye has a walkie talkie. He's got like the world war ii uh combat phone or like uh zach from uh saved by the bill here's a direction that was not heard on the bride of frankenstein

uh with ernest sessinger you want to try one big? Just try one big. But for all the flaws of Frankenstein meets the Wolfman. When I was a kid, though, it was my favorite movie of all time. That one holds a soft spot in your heart. Yeah. Well, it doesn't. It gives you everything. It's exactly what it promised. And it's a really weird movie.

I've talked about this before. promise and and it's a really weird movie i've talked about this before the the heroes what's motivating the hero of frankenstein meets the wolfman is he's trying to find a way to kill himself yeah he just wants to die and it's like i'm like 10 years old like that's the guy i wanted to be i wanted to grow up to be like him. See, Turks will let me die. There's a part in a movie where they say, ah, he's crazy. And Maria Spinskaya says, he is not crazy.

He simply wants to die. He's basically a comic. This is sort of part of your childhood, Dana. you didn't really set out to be a comic i heard you in an interview i think was with joe dante saying you wanted to be like peter cushing or you wanted to be dwight dwight fry i yeah i wanted to be dwight fry i wanted to be dwight fry i just wanted to act in horror movies. That's all I wanted to do. And I didn't want to like act in anything. I didn't want to be on big Valley. I didn't want to be on, you know, medical center. I wanted to just act in horror movies. I wanted to live in that world. And then I thought literally like, well, I'll become, and then it was acting and, you know,

just high school plays and being funny. And I thought, well, I'll just become a famous comedian and actor. And I'll become so famous that I'll write my own movies. And I'll be so famous, they'll have to let me do them. And it was like the hardest way of becoming a writer. It was like, I want to be a chef. And if I'm elected to the Senate, they'll have to let me be. If I'm elected to the Senate, they'll have to let me be. Oh, and to me, the weakest part of Frankenstein meets the Wolfman is the actual fight between the two of them.

That's the clumsiest. It's two seconds long and then water comes in. Yeah, yes. Which is so idiotic that that's the brainstorm oh it was valdick was the guy's name and he says uh valdick said he would explode the dam and it's such an idiotic idea because wouldn't you kill everyone in the village? Yeah, and also, who puts the castle? Where should we build a castle? Right in front of the dam seems like a good idea. There wasn't a lot of zoning in Carpathia.

One thing I love about, just in the title, Frankenstein meets the Wolfman. I like that it doesn't presume they're going to fight. It's like, let's have a meet. Yes. Just over a cup of coffee. Yeah. The original Frankenstein and the Wolfman drinks. We're just going to see what happens.

Frankenstein and the Wolfman at Starbucks. The other great, you talk about the fact that none of the mechanics work in Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman, which is so true, and one of my other favorite movies of that genre in King Kong versus Godzilla, which the remake of King Kong versus Godzilla

is the biggest movie of the year, which is insane to me. But in the original one, it has that great thing where they go like, well, Godzilla is a reptile and is harmed to me. But in the original one, it has that great thing where they go like, well, Godzilla is a reptile and is harmed by electricity. Kong is a mammal and electricity makes him stronger.

What? Because they had to find him because he gets struck by lightning and then he's strong enough to beat up Godzilla. You can't just make up physics. And then there was that another Japanese

movie where it was a robot. Yeah, King Kong Escapes. King Kong Escapes. Yeah. Think about it and you go, they're creating a giant robot. Why does it have to look like wasn't there a mechanical godzilla too dana mecha godzilla yeah mecha godzilla mecha godzilla is in

the is in there the sequel of it well it's in the remake that's coming out in the summer i can't like i i can't believe those those things happen happen. And you are outside your body a little bit. Like one of a movie that I loved, I thought it was great, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. I was watching it. I was like, this is a remake of Battle for the Planet of the Apes that cost $100 million, which is about $100 million more than Battle for the Planet of the Apes. And it was fantastic. But it was like, this is a remake of a Saturday matinee program.

You know, it's like, when does the multimillion dollar hold that ghost coming out? With Brad Pitt and George Clooney. Yeah. And also, Edward G. Robinson was being considered for the part of Dr. Zayas. Yes, he did the makeup test, but he did the makeup test. And I have to do it as Charlton Heston from the document. But Eddie had a bad ticker, and he didn't think he could survive under all that makeup nicely done had a head up and he had a bum ticker that's battled is the one with paul williams isn't

it yeah it's it's a it's awful but yeah it's not good but beautifully awful and then when they did soylent green you know they said he came back yeah char Charlton Heston and Edward G. Robinson were friends. Yeah. And so that speech that Edward G. Robinson gives, they said Charlton Heston was actually crying because it was his last scene that he shot in his life. Wow. Yeah. I believe that completely. shot in his life wow yeah i i believe that completely you know i did uh politically incorrect the first bill marshall with heston and you know we disagreed on politics obviously he couldn't have been a nicer person and at one point like he said something and i disagreed with him and i said it in a way that was funny and they went right to commercial so it looked like i shut him down i didn't really i got lucky and he leans forward and like puts his hand and i'm like no no no no this can't and i thought he was gonna rip me a new one and he just

went so you're an actor things are going well obviously you're here and that's that's good and and then they then we chatted. End of commercial. This hippie doesn't know what he's talking about. Blah, blah, blah. End of commercial. You know, I remember once, you know, he sent me a photo from Planet of the Apes because we talked about it later. He was really old school in that way.

Like that old, you know, your fans are your boss and uh he was i can't say enough good about that's nice and i heard somebody told me they they were going to um charlton heston's house or hotel room but i think his house and you you know, on a business thing, either to interview him or deliver something to him. I know this story. Yes. And the door opens up and it's obviously there's a party going on. There's this company there. And Charlton Heston comes to the door with like a milk mustache and a glass of milk. And he looks at the guy and goes, milk and cookies?

I don't know that story. That's amazing. Milk and cookies? Damn. You also met Roddy, and you have a Roddy connection, as long as we're talking about playing the Apes cast. Yeah, I have a weird Roddy connection. Somebody sent me today, there's a TV show where Roddy and Vincent Price get in a fist fight.

Oh, my God. I have to send you the photos. I must find that. I have it here, but I need to play with my phone that I'm recording. But, yeah, when I was married, my wife and I were looking at houses because we were getting ready to start our family. And we knew we'd need a bigger house than where we lived and we were looking in this house and it was great it was a little out of our price range but it was great and uh and then uh the guy goes like well yeah there's an a famous actor used to live here who was it Roddy McDowell used to live here and I could feel my wife's eyes boring into the back of my head.

And we bought the house. My ex-wife and children still live in it. And it was, you know. They still get mail on occasion, don't they? We still get old social security office mail. It's great. I love it. He gets old social security office mail. And when Roddy was, when Roddy was ill and,

and knew he was, his time was short. He had everybody that he was friends with over the house and he would give them stuff like Dominic Dunn. Here's a planet of the apes trash can, Dominic. Thank you for being my friend. And he,

and when we moved into the house and roddy famously had parties that were benefits for the screen actors guild retirement home and so we continued that tradition in the house and we would have these parties and people would bring this stuff back and go here this really should be in the house oh and so like so like we started to get all of this like uh oh another we have another planet of the apes trash can i was putting over here life is weird your favorite movie as a kid it was great and you get to move into roddy mcdowell's house very true and as i i met roddy's sister who at the time lived in the screen actorsors Guild retirement home. And I said, you know, I live in the house.

If you ever want to come by and see it famously, Elizabeth Taylor planted his rose bushes and they're still there. So I said, if you ever want to come by and see the rose bushes or, you know, the house is open to you whenever you want. And she just looked at me and he went, well, that would be weird. Sure. Well, that would be weird. Sure.

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I once had a friend who spoke to Roddy McDowell, and he said when he was a child, he was doing a movie over at Disney, and he got word that his mother had died. So, well, he was old enough to drive or whatever, and he got in his car and was going to rush home and at the door the security says oh uh uh mr mcdowell uh uh walt disney wants to speak to you and he was touched thinking he he cares about him and he said and he says hello and disney says uh look I'm sorry about your mother, but we're really running behind schedule. Oh, my God. And Roddy McDowell said about Disney, he goes, he was a very cruel man and a terrible anti-Semite. That's fantastic. Oh, where do you come up with this stuff he did he did have these famous parties at the house and he would invite like mix and match people and it would be like you know

fred grandy from the love boat gregory peck you both play mahjong and then well yeah he was a connector yeah he was a connector and and i i i later met him uh before when he still lived in his house and i hadn't bought it yet um i met him and uh and yeah and i said you know what movie i love that you're in is uh the cool ones which is like as if you can't beat him join him 60s hippie comedy where he basically plays Phil Spector, a pre-murderous Phil Spector. And when I told him that, he made the sign of the cross like I was a vampire because it's like a famously so bad it's good movie. And then he caught himself and he took it down and he goes, actually, that's a very good film. And I'm still friends with the director.

We send postcards all the time. He would not say anything. He wouldn't say anything shitty about anybody. Can you talk a little bit about that picture that you and you and Roddy took together? Oh, well, that was yeah. That was at my friend. My friend Brian bought the nine foot tall statue of the lawgiver from planet of the apes and he bought it at the sammy davis jr estate sale don't you love that gil sammy davis owned a giant

lawgiver statue yeah and when we first heard about that, we assumed it was a horrible joke from Frank Sinatra was what we all just assumed it was. But it turned out to be Arthur P. Jacobs, who produced the movie, was friends with Sammy. And Sammy said, I love the movie. And when it was done, he was like, send that to Sammy. Yeah, give it to Sammy. I love it. And is it true that Sammy had like no money when he died yeah supposedly alto vice was like roaming around upstate new york like looking for a place

to stay i think it was alto vice that really had the the the rough go of it um uh but uh yeah all of those guys it's it's like yeah how do you well he did a lot of he he i know he put a lot of money into recreational pharmaceuticals yes they say sammy denied himself nothing yeah down hanging out with anton levee at the ambassador hotel Hotel. One time, I think I was in Vegas, and they had a driver for me. And the driver said he once drove Jerry Lewis and Sammy Davis Jr. around. And they were both coked out of their heads. And they wanted to stop in a supermarket because every place in Vegas has slot machines. So they went in the supermarket and there was a coked out Jerry Lewis and Sammy Davis playing slot machines.

Wow. In a local bohack. I mean, God, what wouldn't you give to have seen that? Just three very dilated pupils. Yes. Dana, talk a little bit about how your obsession with Planet of the Apes has fueled your current role.

Oh, it's so bizarre. As the host of the hit talk show, Hanging with Dr. Z. Yeah. Well, years ago, when I was a writer on the Ben Stiller show, I had this idea to do a bit. It was just, it was a commercial for a, a you know like when a play comes to your town they do the commercial like you know it's rex harrison and my fair lady coming to the detroit playhouse for two weeks only and so it was that and it was going to be it was uh dr zeus is hal holbrook as mark twain and it was dr and, you know, when I was a boy,

I wanted to be a steamboat captain. And I only wrote it because I wanted to do it. I wanted to get the makeup on and do it. That's the only reason I wrote it. And we got canceled before we got a chance to do it. And then literally like 10 more than that like

14 years later john hodgman was talking about he'd found a photo of the maurice evans reading a biography of mark twain on the set of the movie which i didn't even know existed and he was doing some internet competition of can we have and i said oh that's i wrote that sketch like 15 years ago i wrote that sketch and he said well would you want to do it at my show up in san francisco at sketch fest and i was about to say like no i can't do that and then i was like well wait a minute greg nicotero from knbfx is one of my best friends I get a little bit of money I could spend and I was like well hang on a minute let me call you right back

so I called Greg Nicotero hey Greg stay in is anybody over there that could do a a movie quality Dr. Zaius makeup on me in San Francisco you know I'll fly him up put him up hang on a minute hey do you want to go to San Francisco, you know, I'll fly them up, put them up. Hang on a minute. Hey, do you want to go to San Francisco?

Yeah, no problem. So I did it, and it's on YouTube. If you do like Dr. Zayas Mark Twain, you can see it on YouTube. And the makeup, it works, and it's funny because it's exactly what they did in the movie. It's precisely what Maurice Evans wore. And he comes out in the movie it's it's precisely what maurice evans wore and he comes out in the mark twain suit and he does the bit and when you could feel the audience seeing that it wasn't just a cheap crappy mask that it really was the whole thing and it was so surprising to them that it was just that great tsunami and then i ended up doing it again and

then i did it like uh it was dr zeus is william shatner love that reciting towards the night before christmas and that's on youtube yeah and i just started doing this and then but and then it just started to evolve as a character as i would do it in these and then i did it it's i did it for turner classic movies introducing the movie planet of the apes or fathom events and Ben Mankiewicz had me on as Dr. Zayas and I always do it with Andy Schoenberg who's the makeup artist and that was the first time that I just played him like Sammy like he was an actor in a movie but he did a bunch of other so because you know before I did Planet of the Apes I was doing I was at the Pasadena Playhouse

doing with six you get egg roll with a very young Lindsay Wagner. And she's a delight. Right out of the gate. You know, and it just became this sort of like, the guy that I always remember is like Peter Lawford. Like some guy in 1976 who just knows everybody, goes everywhere, does everything. And we just started to play the character. Like he was just this, you know, he would tell these stories about like, it was 1979. And I was doing a little movie called Beyond the Poseidon Adventure.

You're welcome. And I'm driving home and I, I'd taken a little something to stay awake. So I was at the corner of Vineland and Dilaudid, if you know what I'm saying. You know, just like old showbiz stories. Yeah make a wish you're doing tony field's references yeah and then and then um uh uh rob cohen who was a was a writer on the ben solar show and we've written a lot of stuff together said uh we should do that as a talk show just like he's like a dick cavett kind of name droppy talk show host and so we did it and uh we did it um you know on lockdown we did it like this we did like space ghost so there's it was covid friendly covid safe but it's uh yeah it's just

dr zayas hosting a talk show and it's called hanging it's on youtube and it's called hanging with dr z and uh it's yeah he's just and he and it's all like that dick cavett like i was in a scrimshaw class with toady fields and she told me that you know you know she just knows everybody and it's not just old hollywood it's like you know i if i have one regret it's introducing phil specter to the ramones that's my regret it is a little peter lawford yeah it's very it's very zell it to the Ramones. That's my regret. It is a little Peter Lawford. Yeah, it's very zeal. It's very zeal-ing.

Yeah. It's very, he's just like. Was it the first one of the apes that had Claude Aikens in it? No, that was Battle. That was the last one. That was Battle. And that's actually a joke. And one of them where I'm talking to Bobcat Goldthwait.

I don't remember. It was either at Simon Oakland Fest or Claude Aikens Fest. That's the one where, yeah, Claude Aikens plays a gorilla and he holds a pimento seed up and goes, ouch. This entire podcast began

because Gilbert and I would sit on the phone for hours discussing people like Simon Oakland. Sure. That was the birth of this show. Darren finally saying, there must be somebody interested in this stuff besides you two idiots. It's so true. And we're still waiting to find that person. We're still waiting.

Simon, well, Claude Akins is in, he's in two of my favorite movies. He's in Battle for the Planet of the Apes, and he's in the TV movie The Night Stalker, which is one of my favorite movies. He's the chief of police or the sheriff's deputy that hates Darren McGavin. Isn't it James Gregory who has the part in the early Planet of the Apes? He's in Beneath the Planet of the Apes, a part that was turned down by Orson Welles. Wow. And Beneath the Planet of the Apes, one of the weirdest movies of all time. Right up there with Frankenstein meets the Wolfman in terms of how far afield.

At the end of the movie, it's two astronauts from the future and their cave girlfriend fighting telepathic radioactive mutants trying to get to a nuclear bomb. Yeah, with an A-bomb. For a race of talking apes to it. With the late Gregory Sierra, turns up in that. That's right. Gregory Sierra and James Gregory, the Barney Miller beneath the Planet of the Apes connection. I remember one time sitting in a lounge

at the Friars Club, and Darren McGavin was there in a bathrobe, and he asked me if I could get his TV remote to work. And I tried to and I couldn't. And I felt so bad. I thought he was my chance. I helped out Darren McGavin, but I couldn't get it to work. I think you got to put hanging at the Friars with Darren McGavin into Dr. Z.

True. Work that in. Peter Billingsley, who was the child in A Christmas Story, who I know, speaks very – Again, Darren McGavin is one of those guys everybody speaks really well of. He was a regular. It was a job he knew about and he and the weird thing that Peter Billingsley said about him was that he knew everything he's like like if a door wasn't opening he would know how to fix it like hey you're gonna

you're gonna chuck that screw there and that door will swing out you told you told me that Darren McGavin story Dana that where with Dan Curtis was pitching a fit yeah yeah dan curtis who produced the night stalker and the night strangler and dark shadows and winds of war and all those things was a famous uh temper tantrum thrower there's gonna be a better way to say that was an asshole i guess that's how you say um and it was the last night of shooting the night strangler the tv movie and they had like three shots or four shots left and it was late and dan curtis just uncorked on some poor crew guy just you know lost his crap and just screamed at this guy who did nothing for no reason guy had no authority couldn't say anything in his own defense. And finally, McGavin just went, all right, Dan, you got enough.

I'm going home. Just left. How about that, Gil? Walked off the set. But then at the gate, they stopped him and said that Rodney McDowell's mother had died. And Walt Disney wanted to talk to him. And out of nowhere, Darren McKevin said, this is why I hate the Jews.

Oh, God. Well, speaking of people in Bathurst, I remember, I don't remember where I was. It was me, and it was at the improv, and Rodney was sitting, you know, in the LA improv, right? When you walk in the front door, the steps go up. Yes. Rodney was sitting on the steps, but he had on a robe, he had on pants and a robe.

Like he, I don't know what was happening. You're lucky he had pants on. We heard. I know. I know. I know. I've heard some other stories. And was sitting there and like he, Bud's talking to him and I'm just kind of standing there. And he drops like a book of matches or something.

And Bud goes to pick it up for him and goes, I can get it. Jesus Christ, Jews. One, you are Jewish jewish too he's just picking it up ginsburg right yeah yeah my favorite part of an unnecessary music scene but i love it when it comes on it's the uh the uh the party of the new wines. Fa-da-fa-da-fa-da-day. Yeah. Come one, come all, and sing this song. Fa-da-la-fa-da-day.

And then that weird, for life is short and death is long. Fa-da-la-fa-da-day. It's also, it's Frankenstein meets the Wolfman. Not without a music scene. I know what this movie needs. And it's the most unnecessary scene. But when it happens, I go, ah, here's the far. He looks forward to it.

Gilbert, I'm throwing some trivia at you. Aside from Paul Williams, two other podcast guests that we've had that have appeared in a Planet of the Apes movie. And I only talk about the original five. Oh, okay. He won't get it, so I'll tell him. Don Murray. Oh. Is in Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. And Emmett Walsh is in conquest of the planet of the apes and emmet walsh is in been is an escape from the planet of the yes he is an escape from the planet of the apes

yes very good which you which you called the best love american style episode of all it is it's basically it's basically if if planet the original planet of the apes is basically the best episode of the twilight zone it's best episode of the Twilight Zone. It's basically Twilight Zone, the motion picture. It was written by Rod Serling. It's got the plot structure of a Twilight Zone. It's got a great twist at the end. It's a beautiful, giant Twilight Zone movie.

Escape from the Planet of the Apes is Love American style, except at the very end, because every Planet of the apes movie ended, all the endings are dark. All the endings are bleak planet of the apes ends with, uh, Charlton Heston discovering that he's on earth the whole time. And the earth was destroyed by nuclear war. No spoilers, Dana. Yeah.

Beneath the planet of the apes ends beneath the planet of the apes ends. And it's a very interesting story how this happened. They blow up the world. Everyone's's dead thanks for coming to the movies so when it comes to escaping the planet the apes like how do we end it i know we'll shoot a baby they shoot a baby. And then the mother of the baby throws the baby into the bay. It is the darkest thing I've ever seen. It's dark. That's a good move.

It's good, right? We'll just shoot the baby and then we'll get out of here before five. It's great. And conquest of the planet of the apes is really conquest of two blocks of the apes. It's not really the apes. It's not really the whole planet. And what did you think of the more current, you know, computerized Planet of the Apes? I, the Tim Burton one, I don't like at all. The new ones I thought were great.

I thought it's a different thing, but they're well done. They're well written written they didn't insult my intelligence it's not the old stuff but it's you can't do that again i thought i i did i thought they were really great i i thought they were for what they were i thought they were pretty good matt reeves yeah yeah yeah i thought they were fine i thought they were fine. I thought they were fine. They're well done. Before we got on the air, we were talking about when Don Knotts was a big star in film. And it was really weird when I watched those films, because a lot of them look like the Andy Griffith show. With the same talent, with the same people. Especially the ghost of Mr. Chicken.

Yeah. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. The one that's perplexing to me is the love god. Oh, that one was because

his career was falling apart and we were getting into the hippie era, and free love, and sex, and all that stuff. So this was their way of making him contemporary, to put him in this movie. I just, like, the medium, you know, there's two things, two things they copy, Don Knotts and fucking. We got to get those together.

I don't think Don Knotts was Heikin's first choice for the love god. I don't know, but it's such a weird, weird. Yeah. We're talking about Bobcat Goldthwait for my birthday gave me the one sheet for the love god. I have it in the other room. It's very Cas royale yeah i i think don notch is supposed to be like bob guccioni yeah yeah basically he's you have here yeah he's yeah and i met i met don uh he came in and did the, to the Simpsons. And then I met him. I would, after he passed away, if you hear Dodd Knotts on the Simpsons, it's usually me.

But then I met him at an autograph, the celebrity autograph show. They used to have them here in LA at the Beverly Garland Holiday Inn. And I had my ghost of mr chicken window card and i i said uh could you sign this do calm and murder go together and he went is that a line from the movie yeah it is oh and then karen his daughter told you some years later. So I used to do a bit on my first album about how much I loved Don Knotts. And the bit was his voice was so specific that he couldn't make obscene phone calls. I'm sure there were nights when he couldn't sleep. He's up in a bathroom.

I've been looking at you through the bedroom window. Is this Don Knotts? And so Kara Knotts comes up to me. She goes, I love that bit you do about my dad. It's like, have you heard it? It's terrible. Gil, what makes you say the movies are like the Andy Griffith show? Because I watched Ghost and Mr. Chicken.

It's written by two Andy Griffithiffith writers fritzel and greenbaum it's directed by alan rafkin who was a big andy griffith guy and and attaboy luther was uh pitched by andy oh he had something to do with that script yeah yeah he came don don let him read the script and he was like yeah here's here's what i yeah, here's what I'd do. It's a Barney character. Yeah, it just seems like the movie crew would show up at the Mayberry set or whatever and go, you, you, you, and you, you're in the movie. And let's write it and make it exactly like the Andy Griffith show.

It's like the Andy Griffith show. It's like the Spanish Dracula in 31. The other crew comes in. The first two actors you encounter are Hal Smith, who played Otis the drunk. Doing a drunk character. Yeah, he's playing Otis Campbell. And Aunt Bea's bestie, Clara, are the first two actors that actually show up. And you really think you're exactly.

It's like you're watching an extended Andy Griffiths. And just like how in the Andy Griffith show, he'd have his moment to pay those in this movies. There'd be one scene where I like, Oh, this is the touching scene. Yeah. Where he's on the porch

now you get an average guy and an above average girl and uh well you know i just average is just really lucky to be on the same porch as above average it was that i think it was called the reluctant astronautant Astronaut. That was a great one. That was a great one. It's good. And Mr. Limpid is excellent. I like Mr. Limpid. Yeah. Jack Weston.

Reluctant Astronaut. Yeah, Jack Weston is in there. There's one scene where he's walking down the street, and he gets grabbed by a bunch of guys to go into the bar, and they force him to drink. And I'm going, okay, this is really weird. Why they would grab him off the street and force drinks down his throat. And it was there for no other reason than for Don Knotts to do his drunk act.

Okay. Had nothing to do with the movie at all. Well, they were vehicles. They were Don Knotts vehicles. You know that cast, Dana, which you talked about. Rita Shaw, Cliff Norton, Charles Lane, Herbie Fay. Gilbert, you know these actors. James Mulholland, Burt Mustin.

Burt Mustin, yep. Yeah. It's spooky. It's eerie. It's The Ghost and Mr. Chicken, starring three-time Emmy Award winner Don Knotts as the world's bravest coward. I have been called brave.

Now, let me clarify this. As you see, I'm a lion with girls, a tiger with men. And I'm just naturally at home in a haunted house. So what's brave? How should I know? A chicken. Mr. Chicken to you. In this motion picture, he starts as a roving reporter.

Now he's a raving reporter trying to solve a murder mystery in a house of terror. And he'll scare you silly. Don Knotts in the ghost and mr chicken in technicolor and you're checking if you missed this movie and burt muskin was one of those people that was born a hundred years old and i'm the other great thing about the ghost of mr chicken is it has never been remade and i know of 17 different attempts like at one point the fat boys were gonna remake it oh really and uh yeah it's like remember when whoopi goldberg was gonna remake a face in the crowd you know oh yes it's like whatever happened to kill these projects, it's so great.

Well, I think Gilbert and I are suckers. Aren't we, Gilbert, for any good Haunted House movie? I think Hold That Ghost is one of the best A&C movies. Did you ever see something called Murder, He Says, Dana, with Fred McMurray? No. You've got to find it. Murder, He Says. With Marjorie main and and then when they

were teaming up don knots with tim conway yeah and the apple dump and the apple dumpling gang stuff and the private eyes but that never worked for me no no i i didn't see any chemistry there no and it was just it's it's don is such a specific he's he's asparagus you know it's like it doesn't go with it's it's gotta be it's just gonna be asparagus you can't put asparagus in a pie or you know it's it's this it's this and it's if you like it and you serve it this way, it's great every time. Don't put it with anything else. Oh, and he was once, Don Knotts was once on Hollywood Squares, and the host goes, okay, you have trouble sleeping at night. Are you a man or a woman and he says that's why i have trouble sleeping at night

he's also you ever see pleasantville dana yes he's great he's great and pleasant so fun to see him what do you know about franc Frances Bavier being devoured by her cats? Well, I heard that she was the one, she was very hard to get along with, that she kind of felt, it was Frances Bavier, kind of felt she was above it. And I think it wasn't,

it was the guy that played Commissioner Gordon. Neil Hamilton. Neil Hamilton. Neil Hamilton. Yeah. Also thought he was above it and didn't want to be there. Oh, interesting. Yeah. And say it's preservous.

I swear I'm telling the truth. And I think that she was the one that was hard to get along with in the cast. She was eaten by her cat. But Gilbert likes to promote this bullshit story that she was devoured by her pets. I hope so. Well, you know, and they go first for the eyes and then the tongue. That's where they go. And I heard at one point when she moved away, when she moved out of Hollywood,

when she moved away, when she moved out of Hollywood, I forget where she moved to, another state, and she wanted to escape from Hollywood, and there she was the biggest star in the world. Of course, yeah, of course, yeah. If you want to escape from Hollywood, stay right here. And one time, Andy and Ron Howard made a trip to visit her after she hadn't been on the show for a while and she spoke to them through the you know fence in the door she wouldn't uh invite them in so andy and ron howard are standing on. Now, Francis, you can open the door.

Do you guys want to try this Don Knotts thing that we prepared? Since Gilbert does a pretty serviceable Floyd the Barber. All right. Just a little something. What do you think, Gil? Oh, okay. I'll try it we're gonna call this it's a wonderful sketch it's a wonderful fife and don is don is george bailey has been cast as george bailey and uh howard mcnear also floyd

notice floyd the barber has been cast as Mr. Potter. So take it away. This is before the stroke, just so you know. Yeah, yeah. It's pre-stroke, Floyd. Before he was sitting in his own barber chair. He's the barber. Why is he sitting in the barber chair? This makes absolutely no sense.

Try to do the pre-stroke Floyd. Yeah, please, it's pre-stroke Floyd. You have to specify. By the way, the pre-stroke Floyd's one of the great punk bands of the early 80s. Now, I'm in trouble, Mr. Potter. I need help. After some sort of an accident, my company shortened their accounts. The bank examiner got there today.

I've got to raise $8,000 immediately. Oh, oh, that's what the reporters wanted to talk to you about. The reporters? Oh, yes. They called me from your building and loaned about an hour ago. What? Oh, there's a man over there from the DA's office, too. He was looking for you, too.

Oh, please help me, Mr. Potter. Help me, won't you, please? Can't you see what it means to my family? I'll pay any sort of bonus on loan, any interest. Now, if you still want the building of luck. I told you, George. Could it possibly be there's a slight discrepancy in the books? No, sir. There is nothing wrong with the books. I have misplaced

$8,000. I can't find it anywhere. Oh, yes. You misplaced $8,000. Yes, sir. Have you notified the police? No, sir. I don't want the publicity.

Harry's homecoming's tomorrow. Oh, they're going to believe that one. What have you been doing, George? Playing the market with the company's money? No, sir. No, sir. I haven't. Is it a woman then? You know, it's all over town. You've been giving money to Violet Bix.

What? Not that it makes any difference to me But why don't you go to Sam Wainwright And ask him for money I can't get a hold of him He's in Europe Well, what about all your other friends? I don't have that kind of money

Mr. Potter, you know that You're the only one in town that can help me What about all your other friends? I don't have that kind of money. Mr. Potter, you know that. You're the only one in town that can help me. I've suddenly become quite important. All right, if I gave you a loan, what kind of security would I have in return? Got any stocks, bonds, real estate you can use for collateral of any kind? Well, I have some life insurance.

I have a $15,000 policy. Oh, yes. How much equity? Well, there's $500. $500. $500? And you asked me to lend you $8,000? Look at you, crawling in here on your hands and knees with nothing but a miserable little $500 equity in an insurance policy,

you're worth more dead than alive. That's so bizarre. Bravo, gentlemen. They should have taken this. Barney and Floyd should have done the odd couple.

It's not a spoon. It's a ladle. Oh, my God. Gilbert, how long has it been since you did Floyd the Barber? Now it's garbage. Can I ask you a couple of questions from listeners? You know, Nirvana has a song called Floyd the Barber on their first album, Bleach. There you go.

Dana, this is from Mark Scoback. Where does Dana rank the four? What did he think of the 1974 live action Planet of the Apes and the 1975 cartoon? Oh, the TV series. I'm not a fan of the tv series you know it was just one of those things where it's like they didn't know the the money wasn't there it was i just i'm just don't like it it doesn't really it didn't really sing for me in the cartoon was just yeah even even as a kid even as a kid with a cartoon i was like okay enough

if if if to use it to use an expression you may not want to keep on the show, it was all fucked out. We'll keep it. And Martin Bow wants to know, you're a big Vincent Price fanatic, as we know. What does Dana think of the Dr. Goldfoot movies? I fucking love Dr. Goldfoot movies. I fucking love Dr. Goldfoot movies. The fact that they, I mean, it's, it's, it's really my favorite kind of thing. that were groovy um you know any you know any guy over 40 in a nairu jacket you know it

didn't make sense and but i i love the fact, you know, Vincent Price gets a manila envelope. Well, there's the new script. Let me open it up and see what I'll be doing next week. Rip. Dr. Goldfoot in the bikini bombs. Okay. Sounds good. So we're going to actually stop right there and call this a part one with the funny Dana Gould

because, frankly, we were all having too much fun and there was too much good stuff that we didn't want to cut out and take away from you guys. So don't forget to check out Hanging with Dr. Z on YouTube or Hanging with Dr. Z dot com to check out Dana and with hilarious support from the wonderful Chris Japan. We will see you next week for a very funny part two that also includes the return of the requested price comparison skit that you guys loved so much the first time. And we will catch you next week with more of Dana Gould. Редактор субтитров А.Семкин Корректор А.Егорова