Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Classic: Eric & Eliza Roberts

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

GGACP celebrates the birthday of Oscar-nominated actor Eric Roberts (b. April 18) by revisiting this 2020 interview with Eric and actress/casting director Eliza Roberts. In this episode, Eric and Eliza talk about their five decades in Hollywood and share entertaining stories about Bob Fosse, Tony Curtis, Rod Steiger, Sterling Hayden, Mickey Rourke and Shelly Winters (to name a few). Also, Roger Corman strikes a deal, Eric shares the screen with the King of Pop, Gilbert praises “The Pope of Greenwich Village” and Eliza appears in “National Lampoon’s Animal House.” PLUS: “Three Days of the Condor”! Saluting Sonny Fox! The legend of Larry Cohen! The Diceman sends up Sly Stallone! And Eric reveals the “shortcomings” of Marlon Brando! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TV comics, movie stars, hit singles and some toys Trivia and dirty jokes, an evening with the boys Once is never good enough for something so fantastic So here's another Gilbert and Franks Here's another Gilbert and Franks Colossal Classic Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. Our guest this week is one of the most recognizable, versatile, and prolific actors in the history of the entertainment industry. You've seen him in dozens of popular TV shows, including Oz,

Frasier, The King of Queens, The L Word, Heroes, Entourage, Chuck, Grey's Anatomy, Glee, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. You also know him from numerous TV movies and miniseries and well-known music videos for everyone from Mariah Carey to Rihanna. But it's his decades of work on the big screen that have made him a genuine pop culture icon. With well over 300 feature films to his credit. And counting. Including King of the Gypsies, Star 80, Raggedy Man, Nobody's Fool, The Specialist, It's My Party, Heaven's Prisoners, The Cable Guys, Cecil B. Demented, Lovelace, The Expendables, Inherent Vice, The Dark Knight,

as well as the 1985 action film Runaway Train, for which he was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role. And of course, a movie we love to talk about on this podcast, the classic 1984 buddy movie, The Pope of Greenwich Village. Pope of Greenwich Village. You can't do that, Charlie. You gotta slap him around a little bit. You know, not like somebody

from the other side. But, uh, you know, like when they embarrass you in front of your friends, you keep your head down. You say goodnight to nobody. That's what keeps them humble, Charlie.

They took my time, Charlie. Well done, Gilbert. Well done. In the middle of the intro, too. In a career that started back in the 1970s, this man has worked with Rod Steiger, Eli Wallach, Bob Fosse, James Earl Jones, Tony Curtis, Christopher Walken, Sylvester Stallone, Joaquin Phoenix, Joaquin Phoenix, Joaquin Phoenix, Heath Ledger, Robert Downey Jr., and even Michael Jackson, as well as podcast guests, Lee Grant, Larry Cohen, Beverly D'Angelo, Joe Pantoliano, Rick Overton, Matthew Broderick, and Roger Corman. Joining us along with his wife, manager, and business partner, Elijah Roberts, also a successful casting director and a busy actress

in her own right, is one of our favorite performers and truly the hardest working man in show business, Eric Roberts. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That was great. I'll be here all week. I take half a point off, Gilbert, for calling Eliza, Elijah.

It happens. But other than that, it was good. I was going to cast you in, Gilbert. It was spot on. Now, I have a question. I'm praying this is true because I'm starting off the interview with it. So if this is just Internet bullshit, I'll be I'm going to leave there. According to the Internet and other places I've read, there is a connection between Dr. Martin Luther King and your sister, Julia Roberts.

The connection is this. Yolanda and Marty the third and Dexter and bunny came to my dad's school and, uh, said, um, uh, credit said, my, my daughter wants to,

uh, to be an actor and all our brothers and sisters want to do what she does. So here we are. Wow. So, uh, from 1965 to 1973, uh,

the, uh, King kids were in my dad's school. And one of the biggest productions from my dad's school was, what was the play with Gregory Pétain and Yoki? Yolanda King, everybody called her Yoki. Well, one of the plays. It's okay. You don't have to. I could take the whole show. Yeah, good.

Anyway, yeah, so that's the connection. We all went to grammar school together and high school together, and we all went to acting school together, and we all know each other as a family and friends. And they stayed friends. And at Yoki's funeral, because sadly she passed away, Eric did a big video message because you were in Eastern New York. I was on location.

They're wonderful people. According to the story I heard, your mother started to have a baby and that Coretta Scott King paid the hospital

bills. I heard that too. I heard that, too. I know nothing about that. Yeah, I heard that, too. Tell us. That your mother, Eric's mother, started to have a baby. And Coretta Scott King paid the hospital bills for the delivery of the child, and that child was Julia Roberts.

That would have been 1967 then, but I'm not aware of that. Yeah, I think we can outdo that. Because I think I heard that from a pretty reliable source also, actually. Eric, I want you to be flattered. This is the most research he's done. Good for the brain. And he found something i didn't find very impressive for the rest of the interview i didn't know i know that's pretty good for the rest of the interview i'll be going so i heard you're an actor or something yeah what do you guys remember about meeting on hollywood squares and anything well what what I remember is, Eric, I don't think you quite understood the tic-tac-toe rules.

So right. Because you felt that you weren't getting enough questions where you were sitting. enough questions where you were sitting. And you said to me at one point, you said, next time, when some of your questions, can you hand them over to me? And I said, that's not the way you do tic-tac-toe.

You don't go, hey. I thought I was being funny, Gilbert. Yeah. It was, I mean, it was amazing people. Joan Rivers was there. It was amazing, people. Joan Rivers was there. It was a good group. We always had a good group. It was a great group. But who understands?

And with celebrities, they're never going to explain anything. They don't want you to feel bad. And we never, don't tell anybody, but we never really watched the Paul Lind version. We didn't know the show. So he just walked up back there. I remember a couple times you walking into other people's squares and just hanging out. Do you remember that, Gilbert? Oh, yes.

Thanks, buddy. I'm loose, Gilbert. I'm loose. Now, can you tell us, Eric, what got you into acting? To make a long story short and painless, I was a kid with a stutter who found out when i memorized stuff i didn't stutter so it was like oh a little gift and then it became fun and then it became good at it and then i became and then it became what i did. And I heard in school or you said in school in an interview that when the teacher would ask everyone to say something out of a book, you actually would memorize your passage because that's the way you'd be able to say it. Right, right.

I would I would I would count the people and I would count the stanzas and I would find mine and I would learn it. And I would learn them quick. And I became good at memorizing stuff. And so acting became the logical path. You kept the bullies away that way, right? Yeah.

You know when I stuttered, everybody laughed. Did you ever work with... I didn't mean to interrupt, Eric. I'm sorry. Did you ever work with... I didn't mean to interrupt, Eric. I'm sorry. Did you ever work with Austin Pendleton? Because he had a similar story. Yeah. Also a stutterer who went into acting and it helped him in the same way. No, I know that story. No, we've never worked together, but I do know his story.

Yeah. I've worked with him. I didn't even know that. I didn't even know he had a stutter. How interesting. He said he was once cast... Well, yeah, obviously. He was cast in My Cousin Vinny, where he had to play a stutterer.

And that scared him. Yes, he didn't want to do it. He wouldn't be able to control it after that. Oh, I feel bad for him. What was The Little Pioneers, Eric? What was The Little Pioneers, Eric? The Little Pioneers was a drama on Saturday morning live television in Atlanta, Georgia in 1963. Wow.

And that was the—so when you bring that up, it's never brought up. I don't think it's ever been brought up in an interview. That was the first thing I ever won a Critics' Choice Award for. And I won for some kind of local supporting actor award for that. And it was Saturday morning TV. And in my memory, I was brilliant. I had no idea. But it's fair to say you got a taste of it. Yeah, well.

The bug. I got inspired. I was on what I felt the big time local TV in Atlanta, Georgia in 1963. Oh, my God. So, you know, I thought I'd arrived as a little boy of six and a half years old. And so, you know, I like thought I'd arrived as a little boy of six and a half years old, you know. And you said, I think it was after Runaway Train, which, you know, was the critics were raving about. And then like nothing sort of came out of it. And that convinced you that because that was a quality production, Runaway Train.

I just watched it again last night. It's great. And you said in an interview that that convinced you that you were better off doing quantity than quality. I don't really remember the comment. Out of context, it doesn't ring a bell. But I have lived by that rule. Quantity is king. Eliza, you come from a showbiz family. We were talking off the mic. Your mom is Lila Garrett,

who was a very famous television writer and radio host. She's still with us. And you grew up in a showbiz family. Your dad was the very celebrated screenwriter david rayfield who wrote three days of the condor and the firm and a lot of other wonderful stuff how did you same question we just asked eric how did you wind up an actor well it's funny because it destined kind of my mom she's at the motion picture home now and she's become friends with sunny fox from wonder we had sunny here oh my god Oh, God, that's so weird. Oh, we'll have to have them together. Yes.

Tell her to give her her best. Me and Frank. Yeah, we love Sonny. Oh, Sonny was great on this show. He is so great. He's so great. I just self-taped him for something, for a new job that he might get. Oh, give him our love, please.

him for something for a new job that he might get oh give him our love please right but so i was addicted to wonderama and i secretly wanted to be on sunny show and i i wanted to act i always had acted so i pretended i wanted to be a doctor i didn't want until it was happening i didn't want anybody to know um but i did get on wonderama and when i was on Wonderama I don't think I ever met anybody who was on Wonderama and I thought I can't really lie on TV and that was it I didn't know anything else there were no options

that was it just to bring our listeners up to speed your mom Lila Garrett again wrote, Emmy winner Lila Garrett, she wrote Get Smart, My Favorite Martian Maude, All in the Family, The Addams Family listeners up to speed your mom uh lila garrett again uh wrote uh emmy winner lila garrett she wrote get smart my favorite martian maud all in the family the adams family barney miller a brooklyn girl i might add yeah absolutely bewitched bewitched a million shows yeah yeah she's and she's still absolutely hilarious loves you by the way gilbert oh yeah there you go

oh your fans are she yeah oh that's all i want to talk about then yeah she told us not to screw this up she's like don't talk too much he's really funny and you'll ruin the whole thing she said that to me don't talk too much it's comedy that's great and before i forget we'll mention our friend Billy Persky, who's been here several times. So I assume you knew when you were very young. Always. I mean, always. Denhoff and Persky. Yeah, sure. And they all were writers. You know, my mom was married five times and, you know, and all the blacklisted people, Lee Grant and Eli Wallach and everybody. Oh, yeah. They'd all be doing plays and rehearsing in our living room. I'd be like sneak in and hide under the coffee table.

I mean, this was, it was a culture. And Persky's brilliant. Absolutely great. Yeah, he told that great story. You must know it and maybe tell your mom about DeMond Wilson carrying a gun on the set of Baby, I'm Back. Yes, that was, and I was troubling.

I've heard that story, yeah. You know that story? I was pregnant and I was on that show. And DeMond, at a certain point, he's like, you don't look funny pregnant. And they added a nine-month pad to my already nine-month pregnancy. And somebody said, you know, just do what he says. Billy claims your mother went over to him. Billy was directing.

And your mother went over to him and said was directing, and your mother went over to him and said, DeMond Wilson's carrying a gun. You have to tell him he can't carry a gun. And Billy claims that he said, I'm directing. I tell him how to hold the gun. That's a great comeback. That's exactly what happened. Oh, that's fantastic.

And your dad was a very famous screenwriter. Yes. David Rayfield. And tell us some of his credits. Well, you mentioned a few because Three Days of the Condor is the one that everybody loves. It's still relevant. Tell them how The Way We Were is actually your life story, your family story. The Way We Were is actually the story.

That Plaza Hotel scene happened. Do tell. That was us. So Arthur Lawrence, my dad wrote the script. And then after that, Arthur Lawrence wrote a book. And then it became like a play. And together they collaborated. And so the way we were was the story of him and my mom.

Barbara played my mom. Just an outspoken radio. Outspoken. Wow. Youoken. Wow. Isn't that cool? I never made these connections. That's wonderful. In the plaza scene, almost the last scene in the movie, when they walk up when Barbara Streisand has the child. She didn't have the child. She just was saying she had had the baby. Because my dad and my mom split up.

And then Don Garrett, wonderful publicist, amazing. He raised me. He adopted me. So that whole thing, is he a good father? And she says, yes, very. That all happened. Wow. But anyway, yeah, that all happened. And then they did it on Sex and the City, which is even better. Interesting. Your parents had wonderful careers. They had amazing careers. And, you know, it's a very, it's an interesting mixed bag when you have parents who are so dynamic and incredible. It's not, that doesn't necessarily mean that they're like the most nurturing, parently type parents. A lot of times they're kind of like,

what's that kid doing here? I have a career to worry about. Isn't that my child? You know, but it's, we sure appreciate it now. Look, I'll tell our listeners to look up Lila Garrett and also David Raphael on IMDb. And the things your father was uncredited for, like Jeremiah Johnson and absence of malice in the electric horsemen, equally impressive. But course, he did doctoring on them. Yeah, if there hadn't been a New York Times article about him, nobody ever would have known. He liked to not take credit. I think that you get more, you know, then you're the kind of if you're underappreciated, you end up overappreciated. He was like, no, no, don't worry.

My mom was the opposite. She could watch the show and want to have top billing. That's great. On a separate card. I've seen that show. I want credit. And getting back, Eric, getting back to Pope of Greenwich Village, at one point, the director, or original director, I think it was on Pope, he wanted you to quit.

Yeah. So? Do you have anything to say about Yeah. So? Do you have anything to say about this, Eric? It's an interview show. What happened was I was offered that movie of January of that year, and

we started shooting early September. And they said to me, pick a part, Pauly or Charlie. So I read the book, I read the script, I pick Pauly. They say, we wanted you to pick Charlie. I said, why? They said, because he's a leading man, blah, blah, blah. He's like you, you know, blah, blah, blah.

We wanted you to pick Charlie. I said, but Pauly's a better part, I feel. Okay, you want Pauly? Play Pauly. We're going to go after Mickey Rourke for Charlie. And they did and they got him and we made the movie. Okay, so I had seven months and I lost 30 pounds and I permed my hair. And now the, uh, so, so, so, so, so I did it very slowly in a healthy way. So when you gain a vacuum very quickly and all that kind of stuff,

you know, I was very smart about it. And I show up, we had five days of rehearsal, you know, before we started to shoot. So I show up ready to go. And after the third day of rehearsal, the then director asked me to stay after and talk to him. So I do. And he says, why are you so skinny? As if it's a drug issue kind of a thing. I said, because I want to be a walking spaz attack. He goes, hmm, why'd you perm your hair?

I said, same thing, walking spaz attack. He goes, what is a walking spaz attack? I said, you know, John Belushi, only skinny. And he said, no, no, no, no, no, no. This guy's a tough thug. I said, that's how he's written, but obviously that's not what I'm playing. I said, I'm playing a mama's boy who wants to be a tough thug. He said, no, no, no, you can't do that.

He said, we disagree on your interpretation. I would like you to resign. I said, well, let me think about it. I was going nowhere. I had already voted almost eight months into this part. I was going nowhere. I loved this role. So I went up to Mickey's room, and I knocked on the door, and I said the director wants me to quit,

so he called the producers, and they fired that director, and they brought in Stuart Rosenberg, and that's the long and short of it. Wow, and you couldn't have done any better than Stuart Rosenberg, who made Cool Hand Luke and Pocket Money. Yeah, yeah. There's something about that movie, watching it the other night, and I don't know if this has ever occurred to you guys,

I thought there's a little bit of mice and men going on in this. Am I wrong? Of course you're not. There's the guy who would be on the right track if he didn't have to carry the load for the other one. Yeah, exactly. Very interesting. And you bring so much to that movie personally

i mean your performance almost turns it into a it's a borderline comedy yeah i mean it's a it's a mob movie but you're on one level it's a mob movie it's a heist movie but your scenes you're the craziness of your scenes the mozzarella stuff and the prank you play on the cop where you put the horse physic and the... You brought so much. That movie, for me as an actor, and also just as an artist doing it, that movie was real wisdom put in meatballs, like lines like,

what do you need a new suit for, Charlie? You got no job to wear it to. Right. I mean, it sounds idioticic but it is so wise oh my god it's so intelligent and just that whole movie's like that for me i just love that movie and and how was it working with mickey rock well you know mickey is the most selfish actor i've ever worked with. And he never learned a line of dialogue. And it was hard.

But in the end result, what he is, is this genius actor. And I love Mickey personally. And what he is, is this genius actor who knows how to, I mean, and not just Pope, I'm in love to the end of my life with a performance he gave in a thing called Barfly, the most, the hell of a movie moments I've ever seen in my life. And, and, uh, you know, Mickey is just a genius, but, but he's really hard to work with because he's on his own track and he takes no prisoners. And so you're on your own. And it was very frightening. It was very fun. And we got very bonded. But you cannot trust Mickey Rourke as a working comrade. Are you sorry you asked, Gil?

That's the truth. And for years and years, I lied. I would never say that. But, you know, enough time has passed. I can be honest. No, we appreciate the candor. Yeah, well, I— We'll get him on here now to see what he has to say in response.

You know, the chemistry... You're only the second time I've been asked about it that I've been honest about him. The chemistry between the two of you guys, and I know there was some talk of a sequel. Because the two of you were walking off at the end, and I presume headed to Miami to escape the heat. Yeah. But it never materialized. Well, no, not yet. Let's put it that way.

Oh. There's still talk. And it's been, there actually been a couple of scripts. So I think we just need to focus. I mean, Mickey wants to do it. Eric wants to do it. The world seems to want it. It's so weird.

The more time that passes, the more interest there is to make part two, oddly enough. It's weird. It's so weird The more time that passes The more interest there is To make part two oddly enough It's weird I'd love to see you guys getting into more misadventures Late in life Also we have something vaguely In common With each other

I didn't star But I appeared In three Sharknadoes. Oh, you're going there, huh? And you very proudly appeared in Sharktopus. No, no, no. You must say it correctly. Oh, sorry. Sharktopus.

Roger Corman's Sharktopus? Yep. And tell us why you did that one. Well, Roger says, you know, come make this movie. I said, Roger, I can't. I can't be in one of your movies. I'm sorry. He goes, what can I do to get you in this movie?

I said, you can put up my whole family and all their friends and everybody we ever met at that at that at that that beautiful retreat down there while i shoot the movie for a month he goes okay so i brought everybody we my um my family ever met down there and we had a great month's hiatus and i made a bad movie nice move nice move that that was that was about uh a creature that's half shark and half octopus it could happen yeah tell us how you guys first met because the story is interesting it's sort of a meet cute as they say yeah it is kind of meet cute you want to tell it or should I tell it? We tell it differently, but go ahead. A brothel. On an airplane, MGM Grand. And I was doing, I was working with Travolta doing Chains of Gold in New York and in Florida. And Eric was, I guess, flying from New York to LA to finish Best of the Best and then go to Europe.

From Rome. And I was passing through JFK on the way to LAX. Okay, so we just happened to be seated next to each other. As a matter of fact, I had my dad's script, Intersection, which was a very different script when it was going to be Bernard Tavernier, and it wasn't Sharon Stone and Richard Gere at the time. It was kind of an art film and very French. And a very cool story, a frozen moment in time. And Eric was reading whatever.

But as soon as we were seated and I saw it was Eric Roberts, I didn't want to read my script. I was like, oh, I don't want to talk shop. Now I don't get to read the script. I put it under my seat, whatever. He had a cat on his lap. I was going to ask about that. You're not hearing this great detail. The cat was named Tender.

And, you know, in those days you didn't fly with animals inside the cabin. So that was pretty major. And little children came by and they're like, can I see the kitty? And Eric kind of shared his kitty. And I was like, yeah, gay, for sure. I mean, I guess I could be more comfy. I can just relax. And, you know, and then he was very chatty.

And so that just confirmed the whole thing. But he did a nice thing because after they used to serve food on planes, anybody who doesn't remember that. And after they served the meal, just then I had to get up to go to the ladies room actually to put on some mascara. And he like held my tray and did this whole gentlemanly thing and and he was he had a big bottle of water he was drinking he was just nothing like he was supposed to be and um and that was that and i he asked for my phone number etched it into his driver's license oh that's romantic when we did pull out our scripts it turned out because he was

friends with Eddie Bunker, who was friends with my father. So it did. It turned out that he was a David Rayfield fan. And and, you know, when I got home, Jeffrey Dean Morgan was at my house babysitting in those days. That's what he did for a living. Wow. Yep. I owe Jeffrey Dean Morgan my marriage to this woman. How so? Because I called her. He answered the phone. He was crashing on her couch. He answered the phone.

There's a man with a deep voice. Hello. I think, oh, no, boyfriend, you know. Can I speak to Eliza? My marriage is calling. Yeah, it's Eric. So hold on. He goes away.

He says to Eliza, phone call. Who is it? it's Eric. So hold on. He goes away. He says to Liza, phone call. Who is it? It's Eric. I don't know an Eric. He says, because, you know, we just met very briefly. I don't know an Eric. He says, it sounds like Eric Roberts. She says, oh, I met him on the plane.

She takes the call. If he hadn't said that, she wouldn't have taken the call. I would not have called back. Well, he didn't just say it sounds like Eric Roberts. He said it sounds like Eric Roberts, and he now hears me talking to you, and there's no way I'm going to tell Eric Roberts you're not here. I fear for my life. I love Jeff enough to want to protect him from, you know. Then I took the call.

So it is true, and Jeff credits himself with bringing us together. And he's right. It's kismet. Yes. And, you know, all like cuteness aside, all that Hollywood stuff aside, you know, we've been together almost 30 years. I'm so crazy about my wife. That's nice to hear. Crazy. And you guys work together.

I mean, I noticed in doing some deep research, a lot of common credits. How do you pull that off? Love it. It's, you know, it's so much easier than trying to explain your day. You know how that is. You already, our business, you work 28 hours a day. How do you then fill each other in? Who's got, you know, this way we're already there. Plus, we balance each other a lot because we're just really different personalities. And so, you know, I'm a good front woman for him. He's a good front man for me. You know, he's not afraid to go up to people and hand them a son's CD or my daughter's bake shop card. And I'm not afraid to be nice to people at all times and uh and you know just explain if he's off concentrating that he's not actually ignoring them deliberately and he's not as much of a jerk as he may seem to be so it really works that's working together great are you managing him officially is that there's a little symmetry here with dara and gilbert yes i know dara's next to us she she

can can you see her yeah i can't you't see her, but I know her email address. Give a wave. Yes, so you guys know. It's that. Who better? Well, Gilbert won't pay commissions. That's why Dara. Yes.

And Eric, you worked with Shelly Winters. Tell us that experience. And Sterling Hayden on the same movie. Oh my God, that's right. Well, I got a couple of stories from the other time. You know, Shelly was great. Shelly was raucous and

fun and nasty and silly and playful and would say stuff like it would be 1.45 and she'd say, somebody keep track of the time for me because at 2 o'clock I have to be 1.45 and she'd say somebody keep track of the time for me because at 2 o'clock I have to be in a car and leaving. That's where you get that set joke?

Yeah, that's where I got it from. Just that kind of thing all day long. Sterling would smoke dope in his dressing room. Yeah. I'm this 20-year-old kid who's so impressed with both of them, and they're both acting like children. It was so weird.

But they were both very kind to me, and they're both very supportive of me. And so they both gave me lots of hope. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. But first, a word from our sponsor. Sterling Hayden said don't move to Hollywood, whatever you do. He did. He said don't do it. He said they'll try to get you to.

Don't do it. They'll try to get you to move to Hollywood. Don't be doing that. And for those of you out there who don't know Sterling Caden, he's the cop who gets shot in the throat by Al Pacino in Godfather. He's the police captain who

broke Al Pacino's jaw, right? And Al shoots him right in the forehead. Bam! And speaking of Godfather, Michael V. Gozzo's in that movie. Frankie Five Angels. That's right. Is in The King of the Gypsies. So you were 20 years old. You said you were scared, stiff.

You weren't sleeping. I was scared every day. I was scared every day. Yeah. But, you know, actually, the day I got over my real fear was my first night shoot. And I showed up for my first night shoot. And it was with Sterling Hayden. It was his first day.

And I got told to go over to his trailer. He wanted to talk to me. So I did. I knocked on it. Come on in, he says. So I come in. And it reeked of hashish. And he asked me if I wanted to get stoned.

I said, no, I can't. He says, you don't get stoned? I said, no, I've gotten stoned, but I can't get stoned i said no i can't he says you don't get stoned i said no i've gotten stoned but i can't get stoned and talk i have to get stoned anyway what are you shooting tonight i and i said you seen 87 he said i know the number what the hell happens so i i explained it to him and he said kind of a pivotal scene huh i said yeah he said yeah. He said, how are you in improvisation? I said, I'm all right. He said, good, because that's what we're doing. Anyway, so after that night, I was kind of relaxed, because I realized there's nothing I couldn't handle, I guess.

Yeah. Did you meet the old man, too? Dino De Laurentiis? Oh, sure. What the hell was he like he was he was he he owned all of us and he meant larger than life was he not really truly and uh eric eric eric eric good acting well he was the rookie on that movie, which I find funny because Brooke Shields was in it. She'd had all of two movies under her belt. I know. He was like a

grizzled veteran. I know. Brooke was always... In fact, 22 years after that, I played her husband. Fantastic. It does all come full circle. And at one point, you decided as a as a career option

or a career like uh to give yourself more steam to go on celebrity rehab actually uh that that was my wife's decision. I came home from the gym one day. And, you know, on the way home from the gym in those days, I always smoked a joint. And I'm coming home from the gym after having smoked a joint. And I walk in the house and my wife says, celebrity rehab just called. They asked if you have a problem, if you want to get off anything. And I laughed and said, should I give up dope? And she said, I think you should i said

and she goes she goes i don't i don't really mind you uh smoking as little pot as you do she said but this has an audience that you don't have they're young your audience is old i think you do the show so i did the show and and i heard then that the producers called complaining that everybody else on this show has broken down crying and has had temper tantrums and it's gone crazy but you didn't and they didn't like that well, I was the only one you're not really coming off hard drugs. I was just getting sober up with a little marijuana, you know, so I was fine. And I was like polite. I like stood in line properly, blah, blah, blah.

And everybody else was trying to like, you know, action murder each other. And so, you know, I was day at the beach for him. But but yeah it was it was and then experience then i heard after they complained that they weren't getting enough turmoil from you you actually put on a performance where you cried at one point for them. Well, I'll tell the story a couple of times. So I'll tell it again. So I had this meeting with Dr. Drew. It's called a one-on-one,

you know, not a group thing with the doctor. It'll be in the morning, Eric. And, but the evening before I had, I'd gotten a phone call from my wife. Hello, baby. What's happening? She goes, you're in trouble so what what are you talking about i don't know i don't even do anything that's the issue you have to do something everybody's emotional it's freaking out i'll be you you're mr polite what's going on with you i think i haven't ever been talked to like this about this this is kind of shocking to me but what do you want me to do she goes i don I don't know. You have to do something interesting. Okay.

So I said, so you want me to cry? And she goes, at least. So she hangs up on me, and I go back to my room thinking, this is so stupid. But so I had this thing with Dr. Drew the next day. So on the way to talk to Dr. Drew the next morning, I'm on the way walking across the campus. It's about a quarter mile walk. And I start to visualize I'm on the way to talk to Dr. Drew.

And when I get there, he's going to tell me my wife has died while I've been here. And I really got that in my head that my wife had died. And I was about to get the news from Dr. Drew. And I sit down and he goes, so, Eric, how are you doing today? And I just let it rip. So I got to say. So you gave one of your best performances on television. Who knew?

Gil, it's a bit that show's not on the air anymore. I'd like to see you on there. It'd be a tour de force. That'd be great. Eliza, talk a little bit, too, about your acting career. You're in a couple of famous things. I mean, you're famously in Animal House. Yes.

To our listeners. We've had Riegert and Matheson and Stephen Bishop have all been here. Oh, that's great. With us. We're still all such good friends. Love those guys to death. But you are Brunella, the desk girl at the girls college. Yes.

Yeah. Yes. And you're in Landis' schlock, too. Yes. I was in schlock when I was a kid, at 17. John saw me in The Crucible, you know, which is very far from a comedy, in England when I was 16. And then I was at Berkeley and he called and he said, I'm doing a movie. It's $50 a day, $25 deferred. I didn't even know what that meant.

And I didn't care. I was like paid to act. Sounds great. And I did schlock. And then a couple of years later he called and he said, do another movie. And the actress that plays this role has to show her boobs. And I'm having to do these embarrassing interviews where there has to be a secretary. This is all so dated. A secretary in the room and the girls have to take off their top. I think I've seen your boobs at some point. So can you just play the part? Weirdest offer I've ever had. Right I was like yeah sure but there's an amendment to

that because I said I'm pregnant so now I'm not showing in the tummy yet but definitely there's a little extra boob going on oh lord when are you shooting if If it's today, we're fine. And he goes, hold on a second. I'll get back to you. And he calls back. He's like, well, it's not for a couple of months. So I'm writing you a different part. And so it was Lisa Bauer's part, you know, with Tim. Lisa Bauer is the one that comes down the stairs

and is Fawn Leibovitz's roommate. Yes. And I still was involved in her nudity because I held her robe when she... But anyway, so he wrote me Brunella at the desk and I was pregnant with Keaton, who is now touring with Otis Day. That's a trick. Oh my God, that's weird. I was wearing a poncho. Like if you watch the movie again, you'll see that it's just,

it was very fashionable. Debra Duhlman, John's wife, who's his costume designer, is brilliant. So a poncho. You didn't see the pregnancy. I see that movie and I get nauseous immediately. I had such morning sickness the entire time that we were shooting in Oregon. And, you know, who knew that movie was going to be a hit? We just thought it was some silly kind of John Landis personal whatever with all of us. What about that?

That is the weirdest thing. Now I'm going to repeat this in case somebody missed it. Your son, Keaton Simons, is a musician. Yes. A popular, successful musician. And you were pregnant with him when you were shooting Animal House. And he is now touring with Otis Day. Yes. Who is obviously in the movie, Otis, My Man.

Yes. That's bizarre. They just played the Dexter Lake Club the Dexter Lake Club is real yeah it's totally real yeah and it looks exactly the same it's so weird I can't and they play a lot of other places too but yeah well and of course there's that joke that you could never do today. Your line in the club. We'll make people go to the movie and see what I'm talking about. Exactly.

That's right. Now it's controversial. Yes, as it should be. Oh, and another thing I remembered, once again, Pope of Greenwich Village, but you said when you go into Little Italy, they won't let you pay for an espresso. Love that. It's all free. Everything free.

They don't let me pay for anything. And all the restaurants will be internet, so you have to just eat a little at each place or you'll just die. That's very clever. So you're like a hero in Little Italy. Eric and Mickey have carte blanche in the little. You guys love actors. So, I mean, you look at that cast. I mean, Burt Young, Gilbert's favorite, Tony Musante.

Yes. M. Emmett Walsh, who we had here on the podcast. Boy, he's a character. Character. Joe Grafazzi, who's still around. Philip Bosco, the great Ken McMillan, who Eric worked with a bunch of times. Philip Bosco. What a cast McMillan, who Eric worked with a bunch of times. Philip Bosco. What a cast.

Yeah, pretty great. Yeah. Geraldine Page gets an Oscar nomination, and she's in the movie, what, 11 Minutes? Yeah, maybe. Yeah. A scene. It's a movie that holds up beautifully. Yeah.

Thank you. And you worked with someone who we discussed a couple of times on the show. In fact, discussed today. Rod Steiger. He was so good to me, and he had the best stories. And the only issue that I'm aware of that Rod had about anything at all with show business was, I'm a better actor than Marlon Brando. Okay.

Okay. Got it, Rod. He just came out and said that? Well, not in those words. Right. But that's what you always got from Rod is the only issue I might have that you might make a mistake bringing up is I am the actor of my generation, not Marlon Brando. People think he's the actor of our generation, but... It was rough. When you got on the Marlon Brando issue, it was rough.

Did you ever have any dealings with him yourself, Eliza? With Rod? Rod Steiger? He and my mom dated. This is real. Oh, I'm glad I asked. Oh, my God. Six degrees of separation.

And I'm close with his wife. Yeah, and we did many lunches. Plus, I was on set the whole time for The Specialist. The big question was that accent. He was sure that it was authentic. Gilbert, we're just talking about it outside the lobby. I mean. Oh, his Spanish accent?

Yeah. Cuban, Cuban, Cuban. Yes. Very different Spanish, Eric. This is Cuban. Okay, right. This is Dr. Weintraub or anybody else.

I mean, you weren't gonna, you know, he just did what he did. Jerry said to the director, can you have Rod back off the accent? The director said, you have Rod

back off the accent. director, can you have Rod back off the accent? The director said, you have Rod back off the accent. He was known to eat up the scenery. I was telling Gilbert in the lobby about a little known movie John Patrick Shanley wrote called The January Man.

Yes. And Rod chews the scenery like nobody has ever chewed scenery in that movie. Yeah, it's way overdone. And our friend Danny Aiello. It's so fun to watch that movie, though. That movie is fun to watch. Yes, it is.

If you want to watch actors like Keitel and Danny Aiello and who we just lost. I remember in The Specialist, Rod Steiger receives a package that he realizes is going to blow up. And that's when Rottsteiger gives one of his greatest. He goes, Lies and Eric are cracking up. We were there. We know. And there was that famous incident that happened with Steiger and Brando because they were doing the taxi cab scene.

Taxi car, yeah. And usually in movies, they have the camera on one guy and the other actor will be behind the camera saying that so they can have some of the play off of. Off camera. And Brando just went home. Yeah. And Steiger hated him after that. Yeah, I was mad about that. That's right. Come on.

Come on. It's not cool. No, it's not. Well, we don't want to lose this thread, Eliza. What was your mother's experience of dating the man? not well we don't want to lose this thread uh eliza what was your mother's experience of dating the man she because yeah because she she um she actually said he was wonderful yeah she did not a necessarily wonderful person of her time but she did like him as a lover interesting wow she was like his passion went beyond acting.

That's what she would. She said he drove her crazy until he was sober. I have other inside information. Marlon Brando had a small penis. Eric. Excellent. Try to get that from Rock Tiger. You're on the right show, Eric.

Wait, wait, wait. Eric, Eric, why did you wait this long? That's just what I want the whole show to be about. Did Rita Moreno tell you that? No, I got there from Lila, too. Wow. Only from personal experience. Eliza shaking her head.

She saw Brando's penis? All I know is we're having some kind of holiday get together talking about lovers and this and blah blah blah really huh it was a description of the situation so if I had to wrap this whole episode in one

thing it's that Marlon Brando had a small dick. No. Thank you, Eric. Is there a different dick subject that we're supposed to be bringing up? Oh, well, it's a perfect segue. So tell us about the product that you guys are endorsing, the Rocket. Oh, you know what? Speaking of penises.

It's as good a segue as we're going to get. Shall I introduce or shall you introduce? Only ladies should introduce the rocket. Okay, so we have a very good friend. His name is John Hoffman. He's an inventor. He's a film producer. He does a very good friend. His name is John Hoffman. He's an inventor. He's a film producer. He does a lot of things.

And, you know, apparently 50% of guys have some... He's a crazy genius. Go ahead. They have something where, you know, whatever goes on when you're 18 years old doesn't go on for, like, your whole life. And it's frustrating. What are you talking about, Eliza? Yes. I have no idea.

This sounds very foreign to me. This is crazy talk. Keep up with your brain and your desires. Oh, that. Okay. So our friend invented, well, this technology has been around for a long time, but he invented it so that you don't have to go to a place to do this treatment. You can just order it online and have it at home. And it's called the rocket. Okay. Old technology though. It's like, it's like old from the turn of the 20th century, but it was expensive. It was unaffordable to anybody, but the very,

very rich who were having a little trouble in the bedrooms, go to the doctor and spend a bunch of money and get it fixed. Okay. But people couldn't afford it. Now it's made affordable. It's this cool gadget and it looks neat and all that kind of stuff. And basically the science of it is, I don't know, it's just basically as if a massage could solve a rotator cuff or something where it's completely solved. This thing is just a really easy treatment. You do it at home, takes away any sense of shame.

There shouldn't be shame anyway, because that's just ridiculous. It's accessible. It's affordable. And so, you know, John's our friend. So Eric, who actually, you know, there's something about Eric. He just doesn't have this problem. He's like the same person he was when I met him, which is half our life ago. But bless your heart, Eric. He got curious, of course, and was like, I got to try this. And as a couple, it's kind of, you know, it's just like a fun thing. Because we think everything should be unshrouded anyway, about sexuality and whatever, monogamy, all of it, the whole thing. I massage my own penis. However, in case you want that same expertise, would you not lift your own devices?

I've never asked a machine to massage my dick for me. I'm so good at it. It's a toy. It's more like a toy. A toy. You don't put your business in this. No, no, no. There's nothing scary.

I assume it's battery powered? It's battery powered. Okay. And it stimulates blood flow. Yeah, exactly. And it actually kind of changes your whole thing. Suddenly, you can do whatever you want, anytime you want. It's amazing.

And there's obviously no side effects or anything. What happens is it's a jolt and it makes it rocket. So it's like a defibrillator for the Johnson. I don't want an electrical spark in my dick. You said a jolt. Wait, what? I wouldn't either. It's not that.

It's not where you're like shocking your thing with a spark. No, no, there's no shock. No, it's invented by a guy. I mean, believe me, much care went into this thing. It's just neat and it works. And why not? Because that means that you can keep on having that kind of fun forever. Sure.

We'll come back to it again at the end we'll come back to it again at the end. We'll talk more about the rocket before we sign off. That looks like the, that looks like the website. Oh, you got it. That's it. That's it.

Cause that's a doctor. We, we know that guy. Okay. Yeah. He's cool. So it's the rocket.com. And I think they.

Yes, there's cool. So it's therocket.com. And I think they enjoyed the walk. Yes, there we go. Thank you. God, you guys are the best. Saved us. We are. We are. We're nothing if not professional here, as you can see.

Yeah, yeah. I was leaving my new girlfriend's house at about 4 in the morning. Sandy Dennis, the brilliant actress. And I was in a Jeep with with the doors off and the passenger seat was her dog. And the dog was was leaning way out the door. And I take my hands off the wheel and I say, sit down. And I look up and I say, oh, I'm going to hit something. And I do. And I wake up two and a half weeks later and I'm kind of a mess.

And I was I had had a bunch of broken bones. I was missing teeth. I'd been in a coma and and had to learn how to how to kind of how to kind of live again. And it was it was hard, but I did. Yeah, because with brain injuries, a lot of times they think because your vital signs are fine that you're fine. But it's much more like Regarding Henry, that movie with Harrison Ford. It's, you know, there's a ton of trauma. Do you know that movie called Regarding Henry? Sure.

Yeah, sure. Mike Nichols movie. He was so brilliant in that movie, and he didn't get a nomination. He deserved the award. But he nailed it. Eric says it was very true to how it is. He was so perfect. Oh my God. Well, does this story factor

into when you were auditioning for Fosse and he said, I heard you were disabled? Yeah, he after about the fifth time I read for him, he said, do me a favor, walk around the room. So I did. He goes, walk around the room backwards. So I did.

And I said, why did you ask me to do that? Are you going to have me dance or something? He goes, no, no, no. I was told you were crippled. He goes, you're obviously not crippled. I said, no. And I asked him who told him that and he told me. It was just somebody

being mean. Oh, that's unfortunate. But you had to learn how to talk and walk all over again. When you suffer brain trauma, it affects all the motor skills. And you have to recondition them. You have to retrain them. They're like muscles. You have to re-stimulate. But my theory is Eric was too pretty before. He was going to be thought of

as shallow. You know, it's kind of like the Rob Lowe syndrome thing against Rob. But as a casting director... Rob is a really good friend of ours. He's a very good actor. Yes, but he had to kind of get older for us to realize that. Eric was just so perfect and so pretty. You didn't feel that he suffered or went through anything. Then when his face looks more like it got run over by the car that he crashed, it's inappropriate.

This is fascinating that you have put a casting director spin on this. Oh yeah, absolutely. Find the positive. So him looking a little bit more rugged and a little bit more banged up. Yeah, make him a more valuable commodity. Fascinating.

Yeah. Fascinating. I love that spin. Tell us about, I don't think we've had anybody on the show who worked with the great Bob Fosse, Eric. So tell us something about the man. He was a dream come true for an actor. You could make up a question, he would have a legitimate answer. He was so prepared and he knew

everything from top to bottom front to back and uh he was he was a born leader and he was he was he was really driven out the gazoo i got the most personal direction i've ever gotten from anybody from him i was doing scene one day in my underwear with a guitar. And I messed up the song and I said, cut. You don't say cut on a Fosse set unless you're Fosse. And he said, come here. And he walks away from the set. Come here. And I said, oh, God.

So I get up in my underwear and I walk across the biggest sound stage at Zoetrope at the time. And I walk across the stage in front of the crew feeling like an idiot. And we get away from earshot of the crew and he said, look at me. I said, I'm looking at you. He goes, no, look at me. So I look at him. I say, what?

He goes, you're playing me if I weren't successful. Do you understand? Wow. And on the way back to the set, I watched how he walked and I started basically playing him from that moment on. So he, so he saw something of himself in, in Snyder and Paul Snyder. He just understood what Snyder was every man. The problem where he like stands out is the ultimate crime. You know, that, uh, that murder, that's what, uh, uh crime you know that that murder that's what

you know that's what made him unique yeah and and after after star 80 you said people were scared of you walking down the street no it was it was unfortunate because, honestly, everybody thought I was that guy. And I would see myself get recognized from women walking down the street, and they would cross the street. Literally cross the street. A credit to your performance. Yeah, but it's odd when that happens because, like, hey, lady, I'm an actor. Come on. Was that a tough character to shake?

It was awful. Not to a shake. It was a relief to shake. But to maintain, it was awful. It's not pleasant. I want to ask you about Runaway Train, which, again, you and Voight doing terrific work. And I just watched it again last night by the way something that always gets overlooked about about john's your performance in that movie

and john is over six feet tall i i think he's six one or two he's a tall guy and uh at the time i think he weighed 165 pounds so you can imagine how how skinny he was being that tall. That's all a bodysuit he has on in that movie. He wears a bodysuit that whole film. No idea. I know. Nobody knows that. That's good stuff. And he pulls that off, man. He looks like a guy who weighs 240 pounds. Was it challenged to make Buck's character likable because he's the likable one of the two. And it's an interesting movie because my wife was watching it with me, and she said, who's the protagonist? And I said, well, it's Eric's character, Buck, but he is in prison for statutory rape. So you had to do a little manipulating of that character.

Well, here's what happened. I got offered this part, and I loved the story, but my part was kind of a tough guy. And I said, if he's a tough guy and he's in for statutory rape, he doesn't seem forgivable or acceptable. So I don't want to do that because the other guy is not acceptable or forgivable, so you can't have your two guys like that. It's not acceptable or forgivable, so you can't have your two guys like that. I said, but I can fix that if I can go from talking like this to talking like this.

I can make it okay. I mean, for statutory rape, well, you know, she said she was 17. I didn't know. You know, so it just seems if it can be harmless, that's as harmless as it can get. I see. And so I asked the director if I could change my accent and change my vocal tone and to being a man with a Russian accent, he didn't even hear accents

so he didn't care. But you're brilliant. So I just changed the accent on him and I had him talk like yes so he didn't seem so awful that he's in for statutory rape. It was just an oops. Yeah. Did you base him on somebody you knew? Somebody from Atlanta?

Yeah, I did. I based him on the kid that I grew up with, Erwin White. Yeah. It's fascinating because you do manage to make that character sympathetic. And without that, without that viewpoint character, you're not emotionally invested in that movie. You got that right, pal. Yeah. When I first read that movie, it was 300 pages long. It was a Kurosawa's version. Yeah, I found that out, too.

I never knew. It started with Kurosawa, that movie, Gilbert. Oh, wow. It's rather, I must say, it's rather operatic, especially the last 10 or 15 minutes of that film. Isn't it good for you? Yeah. Yeah. It's right. It didn't have that element. Then all you care about is just how awful it would be to be in a train that's for sure going to crash. And and, you know, you don't you don't but you don't care about the people who are in it. No. You know, if it's going to happen, it might as well happen to them.

But you're right. That's a huge element and a really big difference. And, you know, the people, the actor, it's an actor's piece to Robert Pattinson. We were both in Good Time, which is the Softie Brothers movie and starring Robert Pattinson. And the main reason was Pattinson is such a huge fan of Runaway Train. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. And that always means a lot when it's a new generation of actors who are the real thing, and they look at a piece of work, and they let you know that that inspired you. First of all, you never know. I mean, finding that out is so exciting.

So that was very cool. That must be gratifying. Yeah. I mean, you're supposed to feel for Rebecca De Mornay's character, but she comes into the movie late. So really, and Voight's characterornay's character, but she comes into the movie late. So really, and Voight's character, he's tragic, but he's also such a monster that all your sympathies go over to Buck, Derek's character. Yeah, that's a little of Mice and Men 2 in a way. It is a little bit, yes.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, they say there are only 10 stories, right? Yeah. They didn't do, you know, Rebecca's young character justice in that movie. That you should have felt her, the fact that she was a young woman. You didn't get any of that. Yeah.

Yeah. But really, really well-made film. We have to tell our listeners to check out Runaway Train. It's a fun movie to watch. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this and and what was it like you did a movie with tony curtis any memories of that tony was one of the coolest cats on the planet and the stories were endless. Yeah, what a painter. What a painter. No, really, truly.

And what a cool guy. And the stories were endless and fun and personal and entertaining and educational. Sad. And he had the healthiest humor of anybody I've ever known, maybe. He didn't play star in that movie at all. Mostly he was interested in everybody buying his paintings. Yes. It was kind of like, oh, good, I'll take this part because I might get some customers.

Interesting. That was kind of his thing. He was so not Tony Curtis. It was so funny. He was just like one of the guys. Unpretentious, unaffected, cool, fun to hang out with, drank too much coffee. What a guest he would have been on this show. It always seemed like Tony Curtis enjoyed being Tony Curtis. I got one of Tony Curtis' out-of-school story.

So I say to Tony, you've got the best hair there is, and it's never changed. It just got white. And he never changed. It just got white. And he said, the wig just got white. That's a wig? And he said, I'm as bald-headed as your ass. That's grand. That's fantastic. I asked him, can I see sometime?

And he said, nope Wasn't going to give you a peek, huh? You guys better fact check that Oh, you know, print the legend Does Zane ever make anybody fact check your stuff, Gilbert? Not at all Not at all We're going to do that once in a while. You're still acting, Eliza, but obviously you made a decision at some point to also transition

into casting. Why did you make that choice? You know, I'm very practical and it was about, my mom is amazing, but having her support me had so many strings attached. So I decided to start supporting myself when I was about 17 and I never turned back. And so I was not a person to sit around waiting for acting jobs. When I, you know, I was a kid and I was acting and a job came up on Don Kirshner's rock concert. Sure. The talent coordinator and booth PA. And the next thing you know, I was producing that show for's rock concert. Sure. As the talent coordinator and booth PA. And the next thing you know, I was producing that show for David Yarnell.

Wow. And while I was at it, I got Animal House. And then the next thing you know, or just before that, actually, Baby, I'm Back. I was on Baby, I'm Back. Our casting director,

the wonderful Pat Harris, became ill. A lot of my friends were doing the show anyway. I kept suggesting actors. And they just said, why don't you take over the casting? I was like, I'm a 24 year old kid who's pregnant and on the show and going to do a movie and also producing a rock concert. I don't know how to be a casting director. They're like, sure you do. And so I became a casting director. I hyphenate really. I never stopped doing any of the things. And the next thing I had a casting director. I hyphenate, really. I never stopped doing any of the things. And the next thing, I had this casting career. I love that. Yeah, so that's how it happened, and I'm still doing all of it. I'm off in a few days to go do a Hallmark movie.

Keaton's music is all over the movie. That happened first, and then they're like, hey, while we're at it, why don't we cast you? And it's just nuts. Because I know a casting agent was pivotal in Eric's early career,ion doherty very much so yeah the casting agent the casting agent again would have made a wonderful guest on this show but what story she must have had oh incredible well we all do like for instance the the stuff that that you know um i i cast a thing for nb The Powers of Matthew Starr, I think it was. I remember that show. Okay, with Peter Barton, right?

Yeah. Video tapes were there. There was Tom Cruise's audition on which the head of casting for the network had written, a locks. That's it. And we were like, what does that mean? He's like, the guy just came in and just kind of stood there. That was Tom Cruise, right?

The people that I had to fight my ass off to get Halle Berry, to get our people to cast her on Knotts Landing. I was like, you know how lucky you are to have this new at the time? Wow. Jeff Morgan's a great example. They're, you know, they're casting stories are the best. So there's real joy. And I would imagine and real pleasure in that part of the job and,

and placing the right person in the right role and and making a difference in that person's life. It's torture and joy. It's a love hate because you don't get to place them. It's so political. You get to present them, sweat for them, cry for them. You're on your knees begging. And then the commidiates will derail. The commidiates.

You know, and then the network hates the producers choices. Aspersky there, you know, and so it becomes you're kind of a traffic cop. But when you do get a chance to say you got the part and it's somebody who, you know, Duchovny also credits me with early stuff. You know, this then it's really gratifying. And another actor you worked with, Eric, was was the great Eli Wallach. Oh, Eli. He was so much fun and he never stopped telling stories. And his his his stories were always presentable.

And all this old Hollywood. And and he he was lovely. He was a lovely, lovely man. And Anne Jackson, old Hollywood. And, um, and he, he was lovely. He was a lovely, lovely man. And Anne Jackson, his wife. Oh, Anne was cool. Anne was always there. Yeah. Weren't they very nurturing to young actors?

Cause we had Joey Pants here and he said that Eli and Anne helped him. Took him in as a matter of fact. They loved actors. They were just decent people who love what they were. That's nice to hear. I want to ask you about playing villains. And I know you've been asked this question about humanized. We had Danny Houston here a couple of weeks ago.

We asked him. Fascinating guy. We asked him about playing bad guys. Gilbert did his Jack Nicholson from Chinatown, while Danny did a dead-on impression of his dad. That was spooky. We were at Jeff Morgan's wedding with Danny Houston. We love him so much.

Lovely guy. But playing Moroni in The Dark Knight and Monroe in The Expendables and that awful character, Bubba in Heaven's Prisoners, I mean, A, do you really enjoy them as much as you look like you're enjoying them? And B, how do you make them human? How do you make them real and not one-dimensional? I have so much fun. And I would choose a bad guy over a good guy any day of the week because they're more complicated. They have more issues. They have more interesting clothes. They have interesting cars. They have more interesting clothes.

They have more interesting cars. They have more interesting girlfriends. I get to die more than half the time. It's just more fun. Did Stallone write a scene for the two of you in The Specialist because you didn't have a scene? So one night, I'm not shooting and i said to my wife and let's go watch where they're shooting because they're uh they're going to be outside it's like a chair let's go sneak up and watch like like a like a like a pedestrians

she goes okay so we sneak up and with the crowd and we're watching them they're doing the scene outside and suddenly sly as if he knew i was there the whole time goes hey Eric. I said yeah what's up? Eric you know I'm thinking about it. We don't have a scene together. I said so write one. He goes I will. That's simple. So he writes

a scene and it's in the movie and that's where I like pull the gun on his eye and I threaten his ass. Yeah yeah you already pull a knife on his eye and I threaten his ass. Yeah, yeah. You already pull a knife on his eye and I threaten his life, blah, blah, blah. And it's in the movie and it's really a good scene. Yeah. Yeah, I like that movie

very much. And I like you as heavies. I like you in Heaven's Prisoners. Ah, thank you, dude. I love that part. Yeah. Hateful characters. I watched another movie that I think people should see of yours and that's The Coca-Cola Kid. Ah, The Coca-Cola Kid. Which is a sweet little movie on your resume in the early days that I don't think a lot of people know about.

The people who know it really do love it. It's a little like Local Hero, thematically, speaking of Riegert. It's a kind movie. Yeah. It's a kind movie. It's a little like Local Hero, thematically, speaking of Riegert. It's a kind movie. Yeah. It's a kind movie. It's kind to all your senses. It's kind to all your morals. And it's kind to all your sensibilities.

It's a sweet movie. And also, Greta Satchi in that movie may be the most beautiful woman who's ever appeared on film in that movie. Yeah. She's always such a good in that movie. Yeah. Always such a good actress. Yeah. Yeah. Shot in Australia. That is a really good one.

Beautiful little film. And she, and she seduces you while wearing a Santa Claus suit, which you don't see every day. Gil, let's ask him about Larry Cohen, who we had on the show. Yeah.

We had Larry Cohen on and I mean, out of his mind and great. We loved him. Larry is like working for a very tall eight-year-old boy. That's a good thing, especially in show business, because he has the imagination of a child. He has the energy of a child. He has the love of a child. He has the appreciation of a child he has the energy of a child he has the love of a child he has the appreciation of a child it's so much fun to be with him on a set as his employee because you're

working for an eight-year-old kid it's so much fun and and he was like constantly breaking the law with his films he does that like he he was having gunfights in airports. He never gets permits. You know about this, right, Eliza? Yes. When he was making Q the Winged Serpent, they were shooting from the top of the Chrysler building without permits.

It makes me very nervous. It would have made us nervous to hear about it. Isn't his wife a shrink? I believe so. Well, we lost Larry this year. He passed in 2019. But yeah, I believe his wife is a therapist. Well, she's doing a really lousy job with him.

It's okay. Just want to ask you a couple of quick questions from listeners. This is a thing we do called Grill the Guest. A gentleman named Eric, interestingly enough, for years, one of Andrew Dice Clay's favorite impressions was Eric Roberts. Oh, he did so well. What are his thoughts on the impression?

There was... I know Gilbert does one, too. He did a weenie roast or a marshmallow roast, I forget which, with me, Robert Nino, Al Pacino and John Travolta. And he does us all. And Stallone, don't forget. And Stallone. And he does us all. And Stallone, don't forget. And Stallone. And he does us all.

And all the voices are perfect. It's incredible. He does me, though, from Pope. He doesn't do me as Eric. He does me from Pope. And they're all perfect. And I have never been more entertained in my whole life about me than as I listen to Andrew Dice.

Yeah, but wait, you guys. When we were looping, we were doing ADR post-production on on the Expendables. And we were there with Sly for a few days, you know, doing all that. And so it came up about Andrew Dice's Clay, Dice Clay's, who also, by the way, just like you would be, Gilbert, is a very good dramatic actor. But anyway, she's got designs on you here, Gilbert. She wants you to act. So Sly had never seen it and so we thought it would be so fun you know to have a little everybody's scared to tell sly stuff you know so i played it for him he was horrified yeah he was he was so mad and i was just like oh my god

that was a huge mistake why would you be offended by that it's nuts it was so much fun for me though i loved it yeah he loved it yeah i did it's good here's another one um this is from buddy spencer uh what role has eric turned down and then said afterward maybe i should have done that it is enough no um officer and gentleman well you didn't turn it down i didn't't really turn it down. Yeah, you just, yeah. Officer and Gentleman, I heard this from the director directly. Eric was cast in it, and he was thrilled to be using him. And his manager at the time, who was not me, obviously, and it was a guy, wouldn't leave the room. He came to rehearsal. He came to everything.

He just wouldn't allow that director-actor relationship to happen. And so gear was wonderful in it. But you regret not doing that movie, don't you? I didn't hear this conversation. Yeah, you weren't there. I didn't hear this conversation. What happened? I don't know.

You don't kick yourself. I mean, you take, obviously, you accept a lot of parts, but your tendency is not to kick yourself for things that got away, is it? How about Cliffhanger? Are you mad that you turned down Cliffhanger? I'm mad you turned down Cliffhanger. He's so mellow.

Well, I like Sly so much. I had so much fun working with him that in retrospect, when I was offered the John Lithgow part in Cliffhanger, I said no to it for one reason. I don't want to be that cold for that long. It's simple.

I don't want to go take that movie in the snow. You'd made a movie in Alaska. You knew what it was. I may run away trying. I knew about suffering in the snow. No thank you. And it was as simple and dumb as that. But having worked with Sly, though, twice after

that, I wish I'd done it because I love working with Sly. We have so much fun together. And he's so much fun to work with. He runs a happy set, huh? He does run a happy set. He's a great boss, man. He's a great boss. I don't want to interrupt your audience questions because that's very cool.

But Cameo. You know, we just got on Cameo. Oh, me too. You're the king of Cameo. You're the king of Cameo. Yeah. We want to rip you off so badly. Daryl will appreciate the plug.

Yeah, and do everything. Yes, we want to do everything like you. You really give so much, and it's so funny. It's so long. Everybody loves you on cameo. Oh, thank you. Yeah, everybody, get a Gilbert Gottfried cameo. Very nice of you, Eliza.

When are you guys going to be on cameo? We're on. Okay. The holidays we did, we just got on. Fantastic. The holidays we did a lot. I'm also on naked cameo. In the underwear with the guitar?

With your rocket? With a rocket. Tell us something about... We'll come back to the rocket in a minute, but tell us something about Keaton, your son, who's a band. Thank you for sending us that music. Well, you're so welcome. Use it. I do the licensing, so hey, I make it really easy because people are so weird about that.

Keaton is now touring with Brett Young, and they've been playing music together and struggling together for a billion years. And now Brett is breaking big. He's from LA, but he moved to Nashville and kind of pretended to be from there. Although his album is called ticket to LA. So I think he's going to come back to like regular music. Keaton's touring with him,

having a blast. And Keaton just is in post-production on a movie directed by Dennis Dugan. Oh, Gilbert's old director. Oh, Problem Child. Yeah. Yes, I know this very well. And this one stars Diane Keaton, Jeremy Irons, Maggie Grace, Elle King, who's Rob Schneider's daughter.

And Keaton scored it along with Noah Needleman, who's also on tour with Brett. And he and Dennis and Noah wrote all the songs, and Keaton's in it. Is he the star of it? Wow, good for him. Yeah, he's the star of it, and Diane Keaton has a bit part, and so did Maggie. No, he's not the star of it. He's the star of us. They should build a Keaton and Keaton.

They should build a Keaton and Keaton. Anyway, he's amazing. The music business is crazy like our business is crazy. But yeah, we love him to bits. And Keaton Simons. The song you sent me, Beautiful Pain, was lovely. It was really terrific. Terrific.

And there's a great video of him playing a Prince song on YouTube. Yes. Singing Nothing Compa compares to you. And weren't you in a Rihanna? He is. We put it in the intro. But you were in a Rihanna video, and I think it said that she's supposed to shoot you at one point. Well, here's what happened.

She cast me as her lover who she kills. No, the girl's lover, the girl's husband. Oh, the girl's husband who she kills. No, the girl's lover, the girl's husband. Oh, the girl's husband who she kills. And I show up and she goes, oh, we got a problem. I said, what? She goes, I can't have you play that part. I said, OK, why? She goes, because you're too fine to kill. I'm going to have you play the other part. I said, what's the other part? You're a cop. Look on for me. I said, okay, cool. Yeah, because they're a sequel.

I was too fine to kill. It was so fun. Isn't that cool? That is. She's a Keaton fan, too. That's pretty neat. I'm not going to get over the thing about Keaton on tour with Otis Day, and you were pregnant with him in Animal House.

That's like time travel. Yes. Last question that I have for you guys. Eric, what's your favorite of Eliza's performances? And the same question the other way. Well, there's a performance that Eliza gives in a movie called Love is a Gun, where she plays my girlfriend, who I mess around on, with Kelly Preston. So she kills me. Not to give away the ending or anything.

Spoilers. Don't kill Kelly. It's a black comedy. That's right. You don't kill me. You do kill Kelly. So you gave it away now anyway so so you guys are like you're on the newlywed game she's so brilliant in this movie say it again year of the gun love is a gun love is a gun excuse me and uh that's the same way that loves of 45 came out so he to me, you got to change your title. I said, no,

because love is a gun. We got to keep the title. So I had to fight for the title, but I kept it. And my wife is brilliant in this movie. Okay, we're going to look for that. Okay, so my fave of Eric, my favorite of Eric is Final Analysis. Okay.

Also a not that much seen movie, but everybody should see it. I'm writing it down. A hundred thousand times. I played Kim Basinger's husband. He's so good. You'll see. It's very quotable.

Final analysis and love is a gun. Yes. Those are our two answers. Terrific. All right. And I'm going to urge people to see The Coca-Cola Kid and It's My Party. Oh, It's My Party. With our friendly Grant.

Absolutely. So what do you guys have to plug? What's coming up besides, and then we'll get to the rocket again. Right, of course. But what's coming up project-wise? What's coming up project-wise is there's a new show called Interrogation. It hasn't started promoting yet, but it's going to be crazy. It hasn't started promoting yet, but it's going to be crazy. And it is real, complete, real cases that are just mind-blowing.

John Mankiewicz is the executive producer. Peter Sarsgaard is in it. And each little arc is a whole story of a case that will blow your mind. And Eric plays an attorney in one of the cases. And it's just incredible. The work is just incredible. So it's called Interrogation. Interrogation.

It's coming up. And, you know, when he plays a guy who's been to a lot of college and wears a suit and stuff, it's very convincing. It's, like, surprisingly convincing. Unless you're behind the scenes on set and watching him like eat everything on the craft service table and and he's a man after your own heart gail he eats everything on the craft service i take it home with me oh my god he stuffs it in my purse You got to get out of here. I'm packing. M&Ms. Clip bars. And will you be doing another stalked by my doctor? Oh, yeah, and it's going to be even bigger.

This is supposed to be a one-off, you know. We're up to five, dude. I love it. Eric, you're slacking. I went to IMDb, and I only counted 59 credits for you in 2020. I know. Things that are in pre-production and already completed. I'm not young anymore, dude.

Yeah, but we've only been in this month, in this year for 14 days. Do you understand? That's frightening. Gilbert and I used to, we were talking about John Carradine's career, going to his IMDb page and looking at the hundreds of credits. And you are giving him a run for his money. Thank you. It's impressive. Well, you know, in 1993, I remember this very well.

My wife says to me, if you could do anything every day of your life, what would it be, Eric? I said, well, I'd be on a movie set every day. She said, well, that's not going to happen. Then 2003 comes. She goes, something's weird happening in the world. Everybody's buying cameras and they're calling for you, but all over the world. And she says, so they aren't as big a budget movies as our Hollywood movies, but everybody's making a movie. I think I can have you on the movie set every day of your life. I said, let's go do that. It's amazing that you have this kind of energy.

Are you traveling around the world for these, too? Oh, my God, he's traveling around the world. I mean, he's been everywhere, even if you go look at the old films. Do you ever have a day where you're just at home watching TV? Yesterday. Watching Problem Child? Yeah. Problem Child.

My ex-husband Yeah. Problem Child. My ex-husband worked on Problem Child. He was the line producer. Jimmy was the line producer. Okay. Eric, you weren't even available all day yesterday. He just, he literally, I picked him up at the airport and brought him right to set.

That's very, very typical. And he does miss so much sitting at home watching TV that he TiVos football games. And I think in his catching up, I think he's up, very typical. And he does miss so much sitting at home watching TV that he TiVos football games. And I think in his catching up, I think he's up to like 2006. I do the same, Eric. I do the same. I'm up to the playoffs. But I can't watch news because they'll blow it with the playoffs.

I know. They blow the – And I can't even talk to my friends. Like, don't talk about Kansas City. I've still got the Chiefs-Texans game on the DVR. I have a T vote. I've only seen the first quarter. He doesn't blink an eye.

If he has to go to Kazakhstan for like three hours, and then after that come back here and drive to Palm Springs and then fly to Sacramento or something, he's like, okay. And he just comes along with his script bag and his, and his little fanny pack. Amazing work ethic. Yeah. And now I want to see if you can, if you can answer this line from, from a movie, I'll be Mickey rock.

What about me, Polly? Did they press you for me? What about me, Paulie? Did they press you for me? I don't remember. Okay. They pressed me. They pressed me hard. Oh, I remember that. They pressed me hard.

Yeah, I remember that. Listen, if Mickey doesn't want to do the sequel, will you do it with Gilbert? I would. I would probably do it with Gilbert. They might have to change it to the Moyle of Greenwich Village. Do you know what a Moyle is, honey? What? Do you know what a Moyle is?

Here's the moment of truth. I thought he said Boyle. Or the Boyle. I thought he said Boyle, and I know what a boil is. I do not. It's the religious person who does the circumcision. We don't put it in circumcision, but that's it. Wow.

Yeah. Which is another segue back to the rocket. Oh, yeah. It can do that, too. If you have one or not, the rocket will work. Okay, so did we verify the website? It's therocket.com. Yeah, if that's what got that thing up there that you showed.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. Therocket.com. Say it, Eric. Therocket.com. Okay. We will follow up.

We'll follow it up on social media. I'm out of cards. This has been vastly entertaining. For us, too. Wow. There will follow up. We'll follow it up on social media. I'm out of cards. This has been vastly entertaining. For us, too. Wow. There's that site. You are in a movie called Amazon Lost coming up. Oh, yeah.

And I bring it up only because it's written by my old neighbor from West Hollywood, Cecily Nobler. Which I find. If you dig into Eric's IMDb page, there's all kinds of treasures. You will find someone, you know. Oh, for sure. Cause it's 500.

It's like 500 business at all. 500. I've got questions here. I didn't even ask him from other tech people that worked with, with Eric on, on projects. It's what is it? 571 credits or something on there.

It's not like that. We love all those people. We really love the crews. Like Eric, like we, we bond every time and then have to go through separation anxiety. I lost count in 75. It's impressive.

And it's a family affair. My daughter caters all the movie. She's catering two of them today. I have two more words. Miss Castaway. Oh, yeah. Well, with Michael Jackson. Yeah, that's all I'll say. That's all I'll say. I got a really funny story for you about

that movie. That guy comes to me about that movie. Brian. We love Brian. It's kind of a very silly movie and he has no money. What I plead, I say, okay, I will do it if I can take a chance. I've always wanted to play a Frenchman, but nobody's going to ever

walk me. I'm going to play a French accent, but nobody's going to ever walk me in trouble. I want to play him in a French accent. And the guy says, okay, so I play this in a very French accent. The whole movie in this French accent. Anyway, when I watched the movie, it was so bad, I redubbed the whole thing in American accent.

Entire movie. There you go. There you go. And all I'll say is Michael Jackson's in it. So I'll urge our listeners to seek it out. It might be his best work in cinema. It might be. It might be. That or The Wiz.

And now let me say in closing, Barney's not family. Some I reach hard on from the Bronx. You guys are a lot of fun. Thanks for coming and schlepping and playing with us. We loved it. Our listeners will eat this up. Goody. Yay.

And this has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre. And first, I'll have to get Eliza. Yes. Eliza Robbins. Not Elijah Wood. Yes. Not Elijah.

And the star of Stalked by My Doctor. And the star of Sicilian Vampire. Oh, even better. Eric Roberts. Thank you, guys. This was a thrill. Thank you, Bill. The summer wind

came blowing in from across the sea It lingered there to touch your hair And walk with me All summer long we sang a song And then we strolled that golden sand Two sweethearts and the summer wind Like painted kites, those days and nights, they went flying by

The world was new beneath the blue umbrella sky Then softer than a piper man One day it called to you I lost you I lost you to the summer wind The autumn wind to the summer wind The autumn wind And the winter winds They have come and gone And still the days

Those lonely days They go on and on And guess who sighs his lullabies Through nights that never end My fickle friend, the summer wind. The summer wind. Warm summer wind. The summer wind.