Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Classic: Gino Salomone
Episode Date: November 3, 2022GGACP celebrates the birthday of talent booker, entertainment reporter to the stars and devoted friend of the podcast Gino Salomone by revisiting this memorable (and hilarious) interview from 2018. In... this episode, Gino looks back on his years-long friendship with Gilbert and talks about promoting celebrity autograph shows, his infamous visit (with Gilbert) to Sid Melton's house and Gilbert's bewildering refusal to reach out to Don Rickles and Mel Brooks. Also, Grandpa Munster lays down the law, Paul Lynde meets The Golddiggers, Florence Henderson plays Gino’s mom and Sandra Bullock declares her lust for Gilbert. PLUS: Paging David Doyle! Blowing off Norman Fell! The "dead eyes" of Tommy Lee Jones! The Munchkins go to Pittsburgh! And Dyan Cannon provides a future GGACP soundbite! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Fantastic!
So here's another Gilbert and Franks.
Here's another Gilbert and Franks.
Here's another Gilbert and Franks.
Colossal classic.
Here we go once.
Two, one, two, three. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried,
and I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre,
and this is Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions.
Such a pro.
Do we have a guest?
Let me look.
Oh, look at that.
Oh.
It's the great Gino Salamone.
Oh, it's you again.
Back for a return engagement.
Oh, it's you again.
It's you again.
Glad to be back.
So much fun the last time.
How are you, pal?
I'm good.
We should start with a thank you.
Why?
Because you just brought us the wonderful Paul Feig, who turned out to be a top-notch guest.
He was great.
Wasn't he great?
Paul was fantastic.
Now, Paul Feig directed The Heat with Sandra Bullock.
Yeah.
And that's, I think it was at that press conference, not press conference, press junket, that Sandra Bullock said the following to me.
Oh, my God.
You are brilliant.
Come here.
I will fuck you.
Yeah.
Do I have to hear this again?
Yeah.
Why do I have to hear this over and over and over?
Why do I have to hear this over and over and over?
The darkest day, and then, of course, we have to have a guest who was there when it happened, Paul Feig.
Yes.
So it brings it back up over again. Oh, it's a dark day, I understand, because you like Sandra.
Well.
A certain fondness for Sandra.
Not once has she said anything like that to me.
What about Sandra Gould from Bewitched?
Well, you know, Mrs. Kravitz? I'm fine with that.
Where is she?
Now, the last time...
You know, let me tell you something.
It's going to be one of those.
There are more fulfilling things in life
than having gorgeous actresses who want to fuck you.
Now, what those things are, I can't...
You can't name them.
Right off the bat, if you're pushing me against the wall, I can't think of them.
What I'm hoping for is a phone call from her publicist to say, yeah, listen, that's got to go away.
You cannot, you got to get that clip back.
We can't play that clip anymore.
I'm surprised that call hasn't come in yet.
I know.
And what clip are we talking about?
Oh, this one.
Oh my God.
You are brilliant
thank you frank verterosa uh let's see what would you like to talk about my friend you brought us
more clips you brought us more stories well i want to start off with this yeah i'm so angry tell us fans
are sending gilbert stuff free stuff it's not right it's not oh this bothers you it bothered
every episode it bothers me oh what did you get this week oh great well paul got a dollar
he deserves more than that dollar why does this happen for For the work he does, he should send the dollar back.
Why does it happen that guests decide to send? Because he's a beloved entertainer.
Oh, don't I know it. Don't I know it.
It galls you.
It does. And I sit at home, or I'm driving in the car listening to this, and I hear a
story of mine come up. or worse yet okay over the years
what gifts have i gotten you do you even remember oh uh okay most of them i forgot about uh oh uh
the the the oh paul lynn yes biography i tell him about this paul lynn biography and and that it
definitely says what you've suspected for a long time that he hated
the jews that's right so i he said boy i really like that book i sent him the book does he read
it no no no it sits in that break front in the hallway i get all of his unread books that people
give him i get him a paul lynde autographed picture that i had verified nothing i get him
a kathleen freeman picture that i go to the house, I don't see it up.
Wow, a Kathleen Freeman picture.
Yes. Yeah. I got him,
I got you a lobby card from Of Mice and Men.
And come to think of it, I haven't seen that framed
in your apartment either.
Dara?
And in case you're wondering, go to eBay,
Gilbert Gottfried, and you will see all these items up
for sale. Has he done that?
Has he had a liquidation sale?
I'm looking at my notes here.
Do you have a Ruth Buzzy story, pray tell?
How is that for a smooth segue?
Do you want to tell it, Gilbert?
Okay.
And then claim it for your own.
Yes.
Well, one time I was at an autograph show.
I was at an autograph show, I see Ruth Buzzi. Now, Charlton Heston is
there selling his autograph for $15. Who's a bigger star than Charlton Heston? I see poor
Ruth Buzzi all by herself. No one's talking to her. So I walk up and I start to talk to her.
She said, are you Italian? I said, yes. She said, so am I. My real name. And she told me her real name.
And I see this selection of pictures.
And I can't just let her hang.
So I said, you know what?
I'll take that one.
And it's Gladys Ornsby.
And she signs it to Gino.
She writes all this nice stuff.
And then she looks up at me and said, $40.
Yeah, it looked like it was going to be like five.
$40. dollars yeah it looked like it was going to be like five back in the day they were the black and whites were five and the color pictures were 10 well this was back in the day wow so i was shocked but what could i do she'd signed it to me
so i don't get hit with a handbag no maybe i did so i her the money, and then I'm flying home, and I leave it on the airplane in some seat pocket.
And someone sold it and got a few million dollars.
He retired in Hawaii.
He got horrible.
He has not told that story and claimed it for himself.
I'm shocked, but he loves to remind me of how much money I lost on that deal.
All right.
Maybe the Mel Torme story is a little nicer.
All right.
I'm just going to set you up.
Do you know the Mel Torme story?
What happened?
Oh, I don't know.
Okay, I booked him for a Christmas show.
This happened to Gilbert, right?
And, of course, he wrote the greatest Christmas song of all time. Absolutely. Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire. The Christmas show. This happened to Gilbert, right? And of course, he wrote the
greatest Christmas song of all time. Absolutely. Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire. The Christmas
song. The Christmas song, that's right. So I book him, and it's for a charity. It's a fundraiser.
And they have this choir of young kids singing. And I see Mel Torme pacing back and forth. And I
go up as the booker, and I say, is there anything I can get you, Mr. Torme? He and forth. And I go up as the booker and I say,
is there anything I can get you, Mr. Torme?
He said, yeah, you can get those bleeping kids off the stage.
Oh, my God.
I was crushed.
Beloved Mel Torme.
Right, the velvet fog.
Is that the word he used?
No.
No.
No.
Gee, I wonder if you would know what the word was.
Was it, well, get those fucking kids off the stage?
That may or may have been the word?
Yes, I just like to, because I like to have truth in these stories.
That's what you are.
You are all about truth.
I know that.
Yeah, he's a truth teller.
Oh, my God.
Okay, let's see.
Who else can you disillusion us about?
I don't want a disillusion, but these things happen.
Wait, you also brought some recordings.
I did.
Yeah.
And our engineer, Dave, will play them for us.
Yes, I used to have a company where I would book older celebrities for personal appearances.
And to make it more enticing, I would have them record my answering machine.
And it was great.
People would call. I would get people who would call and go, I just wanted to call and hear your answering machine. Thank machine and it was great people would call i would get people
who call and go i just wanted to call and hear your answering machine thank you it was great
and then they would hang up so who should we start with i think i want to start with this one okay i
queued i queued them up in this order and we'll let uh we won't actually uh tell the listener who
this is i think they can figure it out for themselves good thank you dave
hello citizen gino's out fighting crime so i batman i'm answering his phone while he makes out for themselves. Thank you, Dave. Hello, citizen.
Gino's out fighting crime,
so I, Batman,
am answering his phone
while he makes
the streets of Milwaukee
a safer place for all.
Leave a message
at the familiar beep.
Come on.
How cool is that?
It's Batman.
In my mind,
I see Batman
in full costume
leaving me that message. How cool is that that you got him to do my mind, I see Batman in full costume leaving me that message.
How cool is that?
And the red color of the house.
Right.
That they hadn't had it.
Right.
Former podcast guest, Adam West.
Yes, and I used to book Adam for appearances.
Yeah, what a lovely guy.
What an interesting man.
Yes, he was very interesting.
And a complicated man.
I agree.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Willie Anderson. Right. Was that? No. William West Anderson. Yes. Yeah, that man. I agree. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Willie Anderson.
Right.
Was that?
Oh, no.
William West Anderson.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's where he got the West.
Right.
His middle name.
From Walla Walla, Washington.
Listen to him.
That's a lot of Ws.
A nice man.
I worked with him twice.
I introduced him to Gilbert at that damn autograph show.
Oh, yes.
In Burbank at the Beverly Garland.
Well, I once got a strange call from Adam.
You did.
He called me.
He said, when are you going to be in Los Angeles?
I said, actually, I'm going to be there this weekend.
And he said, can you meet up for a drink?
I said, sure.
Who doesn't want to have a drink with Adam West?
So he comes to the hotel.
We sit down and we're talking.
And he said, Gino, I have a problem.
My son is being bothered at school by a couple of guys.
And I need you to send some people there to scare them.
Who are you?
Oh, jeez.
Who are you?
Well, that's right.
Don Mazzini?
Yeah.
You're a journalist.
Yes, I'm Italian.
That's a good answer.
You're Italian with fuzzy.
Unbelievable. I mean, I love that he loved his son that much. That's it. Yes, yes. You're Italian with fuzzy. Unbelievable.
And, you know, I mean, I love that he loved his son that much.
That's sweet.
You know, it's very sweet, but honestly.
Hey, Moose Rocco, I need you to pay a visit to this college.
Help the judge find his checkbook.
That's right.
Exactly.
But still, to have that experience.
That's disturbing.
I know. Well, what did you do and
what did you say well i had the guys killed you did okay you don't want to let him down no i said
i did laugh i said adam i i like that you thought i might have that type of power but i don't even
know anybody like that that could do anything gilbert has never gotten a call like that in
his career no gilbert can you can you
see did you take care of a couple of guys although i do remember a guy saying to me some big lug
saying you know hey anything i can do for you any and i said oh can you have some arms broken
and the guy goes well you know oh yeah oh my god i thought oh boy dara wants to call that guy
he would call him now so how is his son doing i hope good oh no i'm sure he's doing well i
never met the son he's 53 now it's not an issue anymore. That's a wild story.
It is.
Yeah.
It is.
Yeah.
Now, we should explain that you knew these people.
Right.
I have a company where I-
You got to know them personally.
Right.
I worked with them professionally.
Yes.
You booked them, but you formed friendships.
That's right.
And you formed-
Still to this day.
Yeah.
Yes.
Here's another person that you got.
I feel like this is like a really bad issue.
This is your life.
Yeah.
Suddenly I'm Ralph Edwards.
There's another person you coaxed into doing an answering machine message for you.
Dave?
Holy hang-ups.
This is Robin, the boy wonder.
Gino is in the Batcave helping Batman interrogate Catwoman.
He'll give you a call back.
Same Bat-time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Yes, another guest here.
Another guest.
Another podcast guest.
Thank you, Dave.
And this ran for some time.
What did Bert charge you for that?
Yes!
Bert likes to get paid.
I know he does.
I know he does.
We love him.
After that appearance, it ran for like a month or two on my machine, and Adam got tired of it.
And Adam called me and he said, will you get that guy off your phone?
Why don't you have someone like Adam West do it?
So I did.
Is that what happened?
Yes.
That's great.
That's classic.
Bert was great with us.
Yeah. Yeah. He was a Yes. That's great. That's classic. Bert was great with us. Yeah.
Yeah.
He was a surprise.
He protected the legacy.
Yes, he did.
The way some of these people do.
Because Gilbert kept asking him about sexual stuff.
And he said, Gilbert, I'm 17 years old.
Yeah.
Good guest.
And he had a sense of humor.
Both of them had a great sense of humor.
They both had great senses of humor.
Don't you think?
Yeah.
I mean, to hear that all those years, you have to.
And Adam kind of denied his thing that Bert put in his book,
that Bert had a very large codpiece.
Uh-huh.
The thresher, they used to call Bert Ward.
Yes.
Adam didn't buy that.
He didn't.
That's what he told me.
Okay.
We're making news.
God forbid this episode gets out.
Okay.
We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast after this.
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Let me see who else we
have. Here's a wild card one.
When you sent me these clips,
these people I knew that you had
worked with, because we discussed them, and these are the kind
of people that show up at these autograph shows, but this
one surprised me. This was out of left field dave hello you
insignificant person this is larry budd moment gino is far too busy to return your call but you
probably have nothing better to do than leave your name and number at the beep. Ha ha ha ha. I love that man.
I did too.
I did too.
A late Calvert DeForest.
That's right.
You know,
he was,
whenever they put him
out live anywhere,
he was a disaster
but that's what
made it so funny.
A disaster.
The first celebrity
I ever wrote for.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
For what purpose?
What was he doing?
For the Millie Martin
celebrity roast.
I was a young,
remember James Dixon?
Remember when he was handling both of us?
Oh, yes, yes.
At William Morris a million years ago?
I got a call.
I was a young writer, and I got a call saying,
Larry Bud Melman is going to be a roaster on this day.
You know, they had Mickey Mantle.
Right.
They had Shecky, Alan King, the usual suspects.
And they were going to dress Melman up in a baseball uniform
and pass him off as Billy Martin's Little League coach.
You're kidding.
So he needed scripted material.
Yeah, what they call special material.
That is great.
Can you tell that Pearl Harbor story?
Which one?
About James Dixon?
Oh.
I better not.
All right, now this is going to cause everybody...
Let's not piss off anyone powerful.
I'm still shocked that Gilbert has an agent.
Well, this was the 80s.
Until they realized he didn't want to pay commissions.
Yes.
Now, when you say Alan King, I think of a great experience you had with Alan King when he asked you to do a charity event.
Yes.
Talk about what you wore.
Yeah.
So, you know, Alan King's out there in a tux, all done up, Vegas style.
And I came out in like jeans and a sweatshirt.
What you're wearing now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You look like Mr. Green Jeans.
Yeah.
And when I got off stage and the audience is applauding, Alan King is the emcee.
So he walks out on stage and watches me walk off.
And then he turns to the audience and goes, when I go on stage, my suit is cleaned and pressed.
My hair is combed and then he walks out like he rolled around in
shit and i bet you that was one of your great honors of your life yeah that ellen james said
that so he was old school show business.
Yes.
And he was personally offended that you weren't, again, Paul, it comes back to Paul Feig, wearing
a suit.
Right.
Respect show business.
Right.
That's why I wore a suit.
Of course.
For Paul.
That's funny.
Yes.
That is really funny.
Now, getting back to Larry Budd.
A lovely guy.
Right.
A lovely, lovely guy.
You know, if you hear that when you call me, maybe you get tired of it or insulted by it.
Yeah.
Do you have the clip from the beloved professor, Russell Johnson?
I just might have that one.
Dave, what do you think?
Listen, fuck you, Larry.
But, Melvin.
Anyway, this is Russell calling for Gino.
And that's pretty funny.
Anyway, Gino, it's Wednesday, and it's a little after 5 o'clock.
Give me a call if you can before this thing in Tacoma on Saturday.
I have a couple of questions I'd like to ask.
I haven't heard anything from anybody about it all.
Anyway, so give me a call when you can.
And after that call, he made a radio work with Seawater.
Oh, yes.
That's what a sweet guy he was.
Sweet guy.
Never met him.
Yeah.
Just when I hear that, I'm seeing him in the white shirt and the khakis the way he was on Gilligan's Island.
I love that Russell Johnson is calling Gino, getting Larry Bud Melman's recorded answering machine message.
Oh, yeah.
It says, fuck you, Larry Bud.
I loved him so much, Russell.
And Bob Denver wrote a book, and in the book he claimed that Tina Louise would have sex in the dressing room next to him,
and he would hear it through the wall.
And Tina Louise was furious.
So in People magazine, she wrote a letter to the editor and
it said, I don't care what Bob Denver says, I know what happened. And anyway, I'm happy being
here in New York watching the leaves turn red and yellow. So Russell wanted me to send that to him.
I sent it to him and I get a copy back where he wrote, she can watch this turn red and yellow.
Unbelievable. Oh, he was feisty.
Yes, but so funny.
Yeah.
So funny.
We love him in that Twilight Zone episode where he has to try to prevent the Lincoln assassination.
Oh my God, yes, yes.
Wonderful.
Wonderful underutilized actor.
Yes.
Yeah.
When I hear that, oh my God, yes, yes,
you know I do a Gilbert impression.
Let's hear it.
Okay.
You are a guest complimenting Gilbert
and how great he is. You know, Gilbert,
I have to tell you this. I'm really
thrilled to be here on the podcast because I'm
really a longtime fan of yours. I've seen
all your stand-up specials.
I love your work. I have your CDs.
You're really quite brilliant. Oh,
thank you. Oh,
thank you.
Oh, thank you.
I hear people say, you see, we just scratched the surface.
That's my favorite.
Yeah.
What I love is when he fakes enthusiasm.
When I say, Gil, you know, you were in that movie with that person.
You guys.
Oh, wow.
Care less.
You guys should be doing, oh, wow.
Yeah.
Careless.
And it's turned into, except he's a little more shrewd than older relatives.
When you're talking about your grandpa who's in the room and you try to engage him in the conversation, he said, grandpa, you like soup too, don't you?
Oh, wow.
He resents that I do that, but I try to bring him back.
But he's caught on to us. to bring him back into the show.
He caught on.
Yeah.
It's kind of like someone will be talking about Citizen Kane, and I'll be here quiet,
and Frank will go, well, you once walked with a cane.
You heard Frank.
You walked with a cane.
Anything.
Anything. Anything.
He's still mad that I slipped him the paper that said Greg Evigan.
Because he was about to say Glenn during the sign-off.
Right.
I actually, it was like those scenes in movies where you see the person, where they slow the film down.
Right.
And you see the lips going.
Someone's talking about gone with the wind and frank will go well you wear a jacket when it's windy oh yeah
oh he has like six or seven fake reaction fake interest reactions there There are so many drinking and drug games going on out there.
Drugs?
People taking opioids?
Yeah, they're like smoking crack every time.
That's not true because they didn't aware of that.
When I was a kid.
Oh, yes.
That's another one.
All right.
Let's see.
I'm trying to remember what we had queued up.
Oh, speaking of Russellsell johnson oh yeah
oh yeah gilbert you have a johnson right oh yeah will you tell people what that is because that's
then now we're really scrapped timmy rogers timmy rogers
you see what i mean? Oh, yeah!
We watched together a YouTube video of him singing.
And he starts off playing the guitar going,
Hey, bottom wants to go to Hammond, but nobody wants to die.
And then he would tell a joke and go, oh, yeah!
We've got to find that.
Well, you have a guest coming up who wrote his comedy album.
Yes, we do.
Ron Friedman is coming on the show.
So here's another one of your beloved friends, someone you used to book, doing you a solid.
Hi, this is the Skipper.
Gino can't come to the phone right now.
Last time I saw him, he was skinny dipping in the lagoon with Ginger and Mary Ann.
Leave your name and number, and Gino will get back to you as soon as possible.
The great Alan Hale Jr.
Alan Hale Jr.
He was the first person I booked.
He was the skipper.
Yes.
And we went out to—the first time I was with him, we went out for dinner.
And first of all, he ordered two entrees, which of course the skipper would do.
That's a Gilbert move.
Do you do that?
As long as someone else is picking up the check.
And the most expensive dessert.
Three to go home.
Well, not that stereotypes ever get played on this show, but it was a young Asian waiter.
A young Asian waiter who recognized him but wasn't quite sure.
And he said, and now I'm going to be Gilbert.
But he goes, are you Captain from Girigan?
And he said, no, I'm from McHale's Navy.
And the guy goes, oh, McHale's Navy.
He thought he was Ernest Borgnine then.
Oh, my God.
And when we would do an appearance, he'd wear the skipper's hat.
And when I wasn't looking, he would hit me over the head with the hat.
And I'd look at him and he'd say, well, you know, that fan wanted me to do it, but I know you won't sue me.
Unbelievable.
I miss that guy.
You're suddenly doing stunts.
Right.
That's right.
Suddenly you're the Bob Denver stand-in.
Yes.
My God.
I know you were very emotional when you lost him.
I know you were really fond of the guy. He was a good, good man. He called me from the hospital and it just broke my heart. Yes. My God. I know you were very emotional when you lost him. I know you were really fond of the guy.
He was a good, good man.
He called me from the hospital, and it just broke my heart.
That's a shame.
At least you have this.
Right.
You have this to remember him by.
And all the times he whacked you in the head.
We have another one here, and this is from somebody who worked with Gilbert, loved Gilbert,
and co-starred in a commercial with Gilbert.
This is Florence Henderson and Carol Brady.
Gino is not available right now.
He and Marsha, well, they're out on the town.
Leave a message at the beep, and if those crazy kids ever get home,
Gino will be sure to call you right back.
Talk about missing someone.
Yeah, she was great.
She was so great.
And she loved Gilbert's act to the point where she recited one of her favorite routines.
And do you know which one it was?
Oh, which one?
About Humphrey Bogart going to the post office.
Oh, yes.
Go ahead.
Okay.
Humphrey Bogart in the post office.
Bam.
And to see Carol Brady imitating Gilbert. I imitating humphrey bogart yes what an
homage i loved her she was so great and i booked her for a concert and it was in my town so i had
my my mother my aunt and my grandmother there and florence actually told this story at the
unveiling of her star on the walk of fame because she was nice enough to invite me there so she's performing all of a sudden i see my grandmother stand up in her late 80s and start
clapping and florence was so touched and after i said oh that was really nice of you to my
grandma and she said oh i had a leg cramp i had to stand up i i couldn't keep sitting
I had to stand up.
I couldn't keep sitting.
Florence Henderson caught crabs.
From Mayor Lindsay.
Yes.
New York's Mayor Lindsay. She went public with that.
That was very strange.
When we're doing a touching tribute to Florence Henderson, then Gilbert can come.
I only wish I could have been at her funeral to tell that story.
That's another thing he does.
You know what they call the treacle cutting
in screenwriting?
That's what he does.
As soon as there's a touching
or a warm
or a sentimental moment,
he crabs.
Well, and let's talk about
how respectful he is with death.
If he calls me and says,
let's say it was you,
he said,
you know I'd like to have lunch
with Frank Santo,
but I know you died.
Because every celebrity that dies, I get a phone call and that's what he says.
I hope it doesn't come to that.
I hope that's not how you find out.
No, I don't want to hear it.
Tell us, as we wind this down, there's a George Burns story?
Okay, yes.
I got a little intel, a little inside information that when George Burns, a few months before his death, he fell and he hurt himself.
Okay, see?
Gilbert's laughing already.
You're a sick man, Godfrey.
Gilbert, do you know how he fell?
He was taking a shit.
You know, you really should be a writer.
You put things so beautifully.
He is.
He is.
He's a regular Thoreau.
And I'm horrified by this.
I feel horrible about it.
I'm so sad about it.
And then, of course, I hear George Burns on the phone.
And he would make up songs about falling off the toilet.
Okay.
My head went tap.
I was taking a crap.
My head had a thump.
I was taking a dump.
It's like George Burns via Jerry Seinfeld and Walter Matthau.
My skull got hit.
I was taking a shit.
Good Lord.
All right.
I'm in a fog.
I was dropping a log.
Now he's Ogden Nash.
And Frank, I know we're wrapping up.
Yes.
But Gilbert hit me with a bit of research.
I don't know how he knows.
What's that?
Oh, well, this happened to me.
Growing up, there was a kiddie show host named Big Lee.
This is true, by the way.
This happened to you, of course.
Yes. And I one time was interviewing Big Lee. This is true, by the way. This happened to you, of course. Yes.
And I one time was interviewing Big Lee.
Actually, I took him to lunch.
See how he gets the story? No, I took him to lunch.
It's the story wrong.
And what happened at lunch?
Please don't interrupt.
Okay, sorry.
Okay.
I was interviewing Big Lee,
my favorite childhood kiddie show host.
And he said to me, he was drunk.
No, he wasn't.
He was not drunk.
He said, you want a drink?
And I said, no.
And he said, you got an aversion to cunt
can i tell you what he said and i think this is when i i you know when growing up in milwaukee
i didn't know you grew up there. That's interesting. I thought I knew that.
I find Big Lee, Frank,
my beloved children's show host,
and I take him to lunch
and he was really old
and very frail.
So we sit down and he goes,
are you going to have a drink?
And I said, no,
I don't drink or smoke.
And he looks at me
with a gleam in his eye
and he says,
do you have an aversion to pussy?
No, I think you said cunt.
No, he didn't.
It's such a nicer story the way you tell it.
It is a nicer story.
So I'm interviewing Robin Williams shortly after that for the movie Death to Smoochie,
where he plays a children's show.
A movie I actually liked.
Yes, I did too.
So I tell him the story and the camera rolls as I say, do you have an aversion?
And Robin starts laughing so hard he has tears running down his face.
And then he becomes Big Lee.
Wow.
You know why, kids?
Because Big Lee loves pussy.
He just started doing the show.
Right.
That's brilliant.
And he created a sidekick that didn't exist who had his voice box missing.
I mean, it was –
Oh, my God.
I couldn't air one second of that.
You have lived a charmed life to have interacted with all these people.
Until one dark day.
The way you have.
When he walked into my life.
And it all went to shit.
That's right.
Now, do you have any recordings of other girls who want to fuck me?
I have a new policy.
Be Ben and Derek.
Yeah, exactly.
No, I have stopped mentioning Gilbert to attractive women because everyone says what?
Yeah, she said, oh, I love him. That's right. I have stopped mentioning Gilbert to attractive women because everyone says what?
Yeah.
She said, oh, I love him.
That's right.
Like it's a Three Stooges girlfriend.
Remember all the girlfriends of the Stooges? Of course.
Of course.
I'm going to break that next time, I promise you.
Do you have anything to plug?
I have nothing to plug.
I'm sorry to say.
You can see my interviews on YouTube.
Oh, yeah.
You interviewed William Shatner recently live.
Yes, but that's not on YouTube because that doesn't belong to me.
And I learned on YouTube, you better put stuff up that belongs to you.
Well, just tell us quickly how Shatner was.
He was fantastic.
You did a one-on-one with him in Milwaukee.
And we were talking backstage.
It was his birthday.
And he was so fantastic.
And I had mentioned that Mel Brooks had done this and how great Mel Brooks was.
And he said, well, what did he do?
I said, well, he took questions from the audience.
And a woman in the audience said to him, briefs or boxers?
And he said, depends.
And the audience laughed really hard.
So we're in the middle of the interview on stage.
And out loud, Shatner goes, ask me what kind of underwear I wear.
So I said, do you wear boxers or briefs?
And Shatner goes, depends.
And the crowd erupts in laughter and he leans to me and he goes, I steal from the best.
That's a great story.
I love that.
But the YouTube channel, watch Gino TV.
Okay.
So he does have something to play.
G-I-N-O.
Okay.
Gino TV.
And thanks again.
I want to say to our listeners that Gilbert, not Gilbert, Gino.
Gilbert does nothing for the show.
Gilbert helped us book Gino Conforti, Richard Donner, Tony Sandler, Art Mitrano.
You've become an angel.
The upcoming Ron Friedman.
Ron Friedman is going to be, I'm going to tell you right now, this is going to be the biggest treat.
He is perfect for this podcast.
We can't wait.
Thank you.
Thank you for all you've done.
Thank you, fellows.
Thank you for entertaining us. We have one last clip Thank you. Thank you for all you've done. Thank you, fellows. Thank you for entertaining us.
We have one last clip for you to listen to.
This may sound familiar.
I understand that you were able to get George Hamilton not to tan.
He is horrible. He is horrible.
He is horrible.
Has anyone written you to say, please stop playing that?
No.
In fact, we want to book her for the show.
That's like a person who heard the word laugh.
Right.
And they said it's a sound that comes out of the body and didn't quite ever hear a laugh.
It's like an alien.
Yes, exactly.
Okay, this has been Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Podcast.
Obsessions.
Oh!
Ah, fuck it.
Ah, fuck it.
And we've had someone who stole my Big Lee story.
He's taken most of your good stories.
Gino Salo.
Thanks, pal.
Thank you.
You are the greatest.
Thank you.
Love you.
Thank you.
It was so much fun.
They'll tighten that up, right?
What?
Those pauses.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, Frank will do all that.
Frank's the best.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Thank you.