Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Classic: Paul Reiser

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

GGACP marks the 30th anniversary of NBC's "Mad About You" (premiered September 23, 1992) by revisiting this 2020 interview with comedian, writer and Emmy-nominated actor Paul Reiser. In this episode, Paul talks about breaking into standup, shooting a (failed) pilot with Gilbert, working with longtime heroes Alan Arkin, Peter Falk and Carol Burnett and recreating the glory days of "The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson." Also, Jerry Lewis steals the show, Mel Brooks brings a bottle, George Carlin stays for breakfast and Michael Douglas transforms into Liberace. PLUS: "Diner"! The Great Flydini! Tony Danza plays Fred de Cordova! Gilbert and Paul go to the movies! And the boys praise the talents of Richard Kind! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Peloton has everything you need to help you get going. Get a head start on summer with Peloton and choose a flexible payment plan that works for you at onepeloton.ca slash financing. Once is never good enough for something so fantastic. So here's another Gilbert and Franks. Here's another Gilbert and Franks. Here's another Gilbert and Franks. Colossal classic. hi this is gilbert godfrey this is gilbert godfrey's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host frank santanto padre our guest this week is a writer producer musician occasional songwriter a new york times best-selling author an emmy nominated actor and one of the most admired and enduring stand-up comedians in the business now i noticed you

laughed a little when you said that. Like maybe you didn't mean it. I thought that was off the... Was that off the top of your head, or are you reading a prepared statement? No, this is what I remember about you. You want to take another swing at that? I don't think you're so...

I think about you all the time. You were good right up to the most admired. And then you were... The other shit, I'll give them. See, sometimes just to start a conversation, I'll just tell them your critics. Does that work? Well, I felt like a part was left out.

When it said Emmy nominated actor. It should have been, but you didn't win. No, that's in there. But I think that's self-understood in the word nominated. Yeah.

You know, it's like when they go, like a band that had three hits, and they say, this one, this one, this one, and others. Like, really? What would those be? Don't worry about those. We have others. What would the names be?

It's not so important. So I want to introduce you as an Emmy losing. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Yeah, I like that. Because anybody could win. But to lose and then show up time after time. We have a guest here who sat and was humiliated.

Oh, many times. Many times. Because he didn't win. Did not win. We have a guest who wasn't good enough to win. You can mention the people who did win that year. Kelsey Grammer, put him down. You know his acting work from films like Diner.

Okay, in case anyone asks. Nah. I... I worked with Steve Goodenberg. Uh-huh. In Bad Medicine. And he was in Diner. Uh-huh.

With, what's his name? Kevin Bacon. Yes, yes. Daniel Stern. And I worked with you in both Beverly Hills Cop 2 and also The Aristocrats. And something else. That's at the end.

By the way, in neither of those did we actually physically work together. We were in the same thing. But there was one that we actually did work together. I don't see it's on your resume. Don't give it away. It's at the bottom of the intro. Oh, okay. Okay, that'll be...

This gives the audience a reason to listen. It's like a suspense. I won't say it. Before anything else, I just found out what an illegal and sleazy scumbag the guy that was the police captain in Beverly Hills Cop was. Something Hill?

Yeah, the guy who's always yelling at any person. Something Hill? Gilbert Hill. Gil Hill. I heard. Uh, illegal scumbag to the nth degree. Can you back that up? Yes. Man passed away.

Yes. Yeah. So why malign a man? On the off chance that his family, God bless him, is listening to your fucking thing. You think they need to be reminded of anything or impugned? Go ahead. It was on a TV show. I came in here and need to talk about somebody who's not here, not alive,

who maybe didn't do the things you say. Yeah, allegedly. Okay. That's time I never get back. You know his acting work from Diner, Aliens, Beverly Hills Cop. Oh, I know the one. See, I was talking about a movie. I was thinking if there was a...

The other thing, of course I know. Beverly Hills Cop 2. Funny people behind the candelabra. Now you're scraping. Whiplash. I took those. Many of these have been off my resume for 12, 14 years. Is parties

does parties? You've seen them on dozens of hit TV shows. There's no reason to yell Just talk nice People here They'll turn it off if they can't hear it At this part I get very excited

Oh lord Just talk regular When I tell people That you're in hit TV shows Yes they don't know it But it gets me And then they need proof Yeah it's good And that's when i have to

yell out yeah i know that's good yeah so 40 40 minutes on the intro yeah yeah i'm sorry we're out of time no interview gil the roman the roman offs uh gil i'm not i'm not a young man so the faster we can do this part. Can you get through them? Yeah. And other stuff. Good. Mention the things I have nothing to do with. Now, I said I had to include you worked with Woody Allen.

Because I remember that. I saw you on stage. Did you? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's a good story. Don't kid yourself. That's a a beauty see where you milk it see normally i started with a slow beginning but you're so excited and then

it's the build and then the explosion i saw you on stage and everybody. Yeah. Also. Yeah. No, that's a good story. You worked with Woody Allen, Alan Arkin, Mel Brooks, Carol Burnett. Now you're just listing all the people in the business. How does this benefit me? All of these people have won awards. Uh-huh. Unlike the guests we were able to scrape up. I'm honored to say, and I proudly say, I've never won anything.

Anything. Not even a free coupon. An award. Never won an award. It's going to be my theme. Even if I ever get one, I'm not going to take it. Our guest has won shit. He's won nothing

Nothing Go to the end Okay The man has limited time Oh my lord Please welcome an artist I didn't know you painted I have a nice picture here and there

Something small like a pony or an orange Sometimes a pony eating an orange That's not easy. That one I have in my living room. Because you know what? To get the horse to hold it up to his mouth, it's always a surprise to them how sour it is.

So to get that expression, that was one of my best paintings. Okay. Okay. So the man personally responsible for Steve Buscemi's acting career and my one-time co-star in the classic comedy pilot The Toast of Manhattan. Yes, there it is. Was that the one, Paul?

That was the one. The man not good, again with the yelling. Not good enough to win shit. How he keeps working. It's amazing. God only knows. Paul Reiser. Wow.

We're out of time, but thank you. What a treat. How do you feel about being a loser your entire life and career? I hadn't thought about it this extensively until this afternoon now. What about it, by the way, a toast of Manhattan? Because we had Barry Levinson on the show. Did he talk about that? Yeah, Gilbert busted his balls about it.

That's all he could talk about. What was it? Were you busting his balls in the sense of why didn't it go or why? Oh, why it was ever made in the first place? What was it, you guys and Carol Leifer? Right? A lot of people were in that. It was the summer after, it was 1982.

So it was the summer after Diner came out. And I guess he had some heat and he said, what would you like to do? And ABC, I think, gave him, and said, yeah, go make a pilot with Rudy DeLuca. Oh, yeah, Rudy. And Craig T. Nelson. Craig T. Nelson was in it.

All the old guys from the... A lot of funny people. I can't remember now. Some crazy... And I remember... What was it? It was basically a behind-the-scenes of an Ed Sullivan-type show.

Oh, I see. The talk of the town was the show. And, yes. It was like the Muppets with real people. Like how the Muppets are always putting on the show. Getting ready, yes. So the show was... I mean, it was a great idea.

The show was like at the end of the show on Sunday to right before the curtain goes up on the following Sunday, getting ready. So it was a nice idea, and it was like a variety show backwards. You know, whatever. Wouldn't be the first pilot to not go. Yeah. And certainly not the first pilot

that you or I have made to not go. So there you go. It's a non-ending list. No, it's a huge list. Now, and I remember the theme song. Really? Wow. It's the Toast of Manhattan, the Toast of Manhattan, and this must be Sunday.

That's not true. The Toast of Manhattan, the Toast of Manhattan, and here's our own Friday. Manhattan, the toast of Manhattan, and here's our own Freddy. Every Sunday, every Sunday, with lots and lots of variety. That's not possibly true. That was the theme song? That's it. That was the theme song. Well, I think it answers your first question.

Why didn't it take off? Why did this not take off as it should have with a song like that? It adds to that list. Look at our lives. It's now 37 years later, and we're talking about a pilot that didn't go. You want to explain the Buscemi thing, too, now that he's put it in the intro and people are wondering? Why? Let him come on and talk about me.

Exactly. We had him here, actually actually that was a memorable interview right gil uh yeah he uh yeah what he said because frank had a thousand cards everything on him and and at one point basemi turns to me and says do you even know who I am? He said, I like that Gilbert has only a casual knowledge of my career. Did you remember Buscemi from stand-up days? I didn't remember him, but I will remember you when you leave today. It doesn't matter.

He said you beat him out of a cab because you guys shared a cab, and he assumed that you were the working comic, that you were going to pick up the cab, but you just got out wait a minute that doesn't sound at all no gilly gilly walked out on a check yeah i know shocking give me a moment give me a moment to digest that that's shocking i just remembered something at when we were doing this famous toast of Manhattan, we were both staying at the same housing. Oakwood Apartments. Yes. Oh, yes.

Where everybody stays in L.A., like a little garden apartment that you can rent for a month or two until your pilot dies. Yes. And I remember I had nothing to do during the day or at night. Less than nothing. during the day or at night. Less than nothing. And sometimes I'd stop over at your apartment and I'd just wander around and I'd pick stuff up

and I'd put it down and I'd pick up, you know, you'd have like a hat and I'd look at it or other stuff and then I'd turn around and you're staring at me the whole time i'm doing this

wondering how you got in yes and you said you're like et yeah like you are this weird well my recollection of that time because uh you did not and probably still do not have a driver's license no he doesn't drive. That's a relief. Because I'm out there. Yes. And I remember driving. It was a short drive, but I remember driving to work. And I remember you getting in the car and me looking at you in the car. And even that looked wrong.

I went, something in the evolution of it. Even as a passenger? Yeah. It's like, I don't even think he's doing this right. It's nothing to do. Just sit there. But it just looked like my grandfather getting off a mule and sitting in this newfangled thing. How does this move?

That's how I lead my whole life. Yeah. It just didn't look right. Now, I heard you on the Malkoff podcast, Paul, and you were reminiscing about the days when Gilbert would walk the crowd. Would walk? Back in the clubs. When he would just empty the room. Oh, yes.

Yes. Gilbert was never happy until he cleared the room. Because, yes, Gilbert, yeah, that was a legend. Every comic would come in to watch Gilbert because he was so smart and so funny. And if he was getting a laugh, he considered that an insult. Because he wanted his stuff to be so smart and under the radar that a regular pedestrian couldn't get it. And I remember you did a bit in Tony Del Vico. Oh, yes, yes. It was just a screaming Italian comic, and what was it, Tony Del Vico? Oh, yes, yes.

It was just a screaming Italian comic, and it was a hysterical bit. It got to the point that people would say, oh, do that bit. And Gill's brain went, I should never do that again. And he never did it, or he would do it horribly wrong just to teach his people, listen, don't you dare like my work. And that's why we're here today working for free. Do you remember seeing him on stage for the first time? Your memory seems pretty good.

I remember. Why, what did you hear? You knew a lot about Toast in Manhattan. I remember, yeah. I remember Gilly going on late a lot at the improv and a catch. The check spot. I don't know if you ever did the comic strip. Do you know what you did? Oh comic strip you don't think you did

oh yeah did you yeah but yes and the improv always looked like your I seem to recall

when you started becoming the Gilbert Godfrey that we know and love that it wasn't starting the squinting and yelling it was actually

in quotes and then it kind of grew and then oh that's now he's just going to squint and yell for it was actually in quotes and then it kind of grew and then oh that's entire that's now he's just gonna squint and yell but I remember the time was just a moment everything yeah I think this is me become we're not yelling now see it's nice and and he's yelling again with the again and people always ask me they'll say like you know when did that start and i'll think i don't know when it started you keep going up and i i my record i don't know the date but i but my sense was it was a tuesday No, my sense was it was a sort of a shield, a defense mechanism to not look people in the eye

and to not hear the applause and the positive feedback you were getting. So the eyes would shut and the yelling would push it away audio-wise. That way you could live in your Gilbert cocoon. But funny came out of it, and then it became Gilbert. You were 17 or 18, Paul, first time you got up? Because he was 15, as we talk about a lot on the show. I was three. Yeah, very good.

Very good. I drove myself into the city. First time I went up, I was 18? Yeah, something like that. Freshman year in college, I went up once. And I remember five minutes at catch, I think at like two in the morning on whatever it was, Monday night, and I went back to my second year of college, and I remember people saying, hey, what'd you do this summer?

And I would say, I was a comedian. And I realized I meant it, but I only did it for five minutes, but I felt like that's what I'm going to say because that's what I am. Yes, it was a badge of honor. I've heard you say that you actually didn't know you could become a comedian. I mean, you watched what we watched. You stayed up late to watch Rodney and people like that on Carson, and you love these guys. Yeah, but I didn't know anybody could become anything.

I never understood the, you know, and I'm sure this is true for you, if there weren't a system laid out, if these clubs didn't exist, and somebody said, come on a Monday night at 9 o'clock whatever you just you know we'd all be in our rooms or on the top of a roof somewhere yelling yeah those those were it was luckily there was a system so when i when i found i didn't know you know when i was a kid watching comics on tv i don't know how you become george carlin or alan king or or any of these guys. But luckily, these clubs started happening, and it became you'd hear about it and go there, and you'd get a number, and then something will happen. And that's really as clear as our plan was.

Just go there, and it will reveal itself. And that's why, I mean, out of it as we were, trying to imagine how you actually step into the screen yeah and become that person yes i it scares me to think what my parents thought oh you can't even imagine right right right right yes because i remember trying to explain it and your parents you know were i think further old school and old world right and but But my parents were first-generation Americans. But your parents came over or were immigrants? My father came over.

Okay. My mother was. Yeah, so explain that. And my father was older. So in his, I mean, he once actually said that, like, in his neighborhood, in his, you only became, if you were poor and you had to be a boxer or an entertainer, you would do that. But otherwise, you'd get a job. So it was sort of a, it wasn't, and he loved comics, but you don't want to become that. Because that life was, up to our world of clubs and stuff, it was a seedy world.

I mean, if you were hanging out, if you were, you know, it was, you hear all these horrible mobster stories and it was just seedy world and if you were hanging out if you were you know it was you hear all these horrible mobster stories and it was just the underbelly of life it wasn't that way for us but i think even right before us even rodney used to talk about the clubs and you know that you would be in with these guys um yeah they would every single comic back then would say yeah i worked with these guys and then at that point they put their finger on their nose and press their nose down like you know a guy with a broken nose yeah no but yes so so certainly to our parents i remember telling like hearing it come out of my mouth that so what i want to do mom dad is i'm going to go to the city 2 in the morning and maybe do 5 minutes of very bad material for 7 people and make no money.

Uh-huh. And how is that a plan? And then something will happen. And a lot of... It makes no sense. It's the worst career strategy in the world. And sometimes maybe 2 months will go by of staying there till three in the morning and I never actually did go

on. Yes. Yeah, that's the other Oh, sometimes you wouldn't get the slot. Yeah. Which was great preparation for years later when you'd be bumped from Merv Griffin. Yeah! So now you're still not getting on, but it's a higher quality show

that you're not getting on. Well, speaking of your parents, tell that great George Carlin story, because that's nuts. You've already seen everything. You've heard everything I've told. That's good. It's worth hearing. And our fans will like it, because they're into the old stuff. So George Carlin, I was a huge, huge George Carlin fan, as we all were.

And in 1972, and I remember it was right before the elections. It would have been like late October of 72. In 1972, and I remember it was right before the election, so it would have been like late October of 72, my sister, who was three years older, was on the school radio. She went to college, and she was on the radio, or the newspaper, I guess radio. And she got an assignment. She was going to interview George Carlin, and somehow got to him and agreed. So we went to see him at the Palace Theater. I remember he did like seven, eight nights, I think.

And the next morning she was going to go to interview him. And he said, you know, listen, my wife is not feeling well. Can we do it somewhere else? Can we do it at your house? And she said, sure. So I think he thought, well, I'm going to go to a young girl's house. Little did he know it was going to be my family. So I was out of the house. And I came back, and my father said, you're not going to guess

who's in the house? Aunt Rose. No, George Carlin. What would he want? Because George Carlin's in the house. I walk in the house, and George Carlin is there. And he had done like a two and a half hour interview with my sister, and it was great stuff.

I have the cassette somewhere. It was just great. He's just going on, and he said, well, I got to go. And my parents, of course, said, well, where are you going? You got to have some breakfast. No, no, no. It's so nice. Now you're going to sit.

He sits, and now he has to call his wife. I'm going to be a little late. I'm having some lox and bagels. Very nice family. So now it's an hour later, and he can't get out of it. I got to go. Hilarious. I got to go. My wife says, where are you going? family. So now it's an hour later and he can't get out of it. I gotta go. Hilarious.

I gotta go. My father says, where are you going? He says, I gotta go uptown. What do you gotta go uptown for? I gotta buy a camera. My father says,

don't go uptown. I got a better place downtown. And he takes him to this place on Grand Street, Essex Street, that is like wholesale place where you go in and everything is there but cheaper.

And he goes, no, you got to get plaques. I'll take you down. Get in the car. Gets in the car. So now the whole family's in the car. We drive. George is in the front seat. And I'm like, I'm 15, whatever, 16.

And cars are pulling up going, that's George Carlin. I'm going, I'm the coolest kid in the world. I got George Carlin. We go to the place. My father walks him in. He goes, Irv, Murray, you know who, that's George Carlin. I'm going, I'm the coolest kid in the world. I got George Carlin. We go to the place. My father walks him in. He goes, Irv Murray, you know who this is? George Carlin. You take care of him.

He wants to buy a cab. Great. We leave him. That's the last I see of George Carlin. Year later, my sister does a follow-up interview. She says, it's like that joke. I don't know if you remember me. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know if you remember me. He says, oh, man, that was the weirdest interview of my life. All I know is I was on my way uptown to score some coke. And next thing you know, he's buying a camera against his will. Great story. My father made him buy a camera that he didn't want to buy. Make a great short film. George Carlin stays at the Reiser house.

Bagels and lox. And it couldn't have been sweeter. And he's just like, yeah. And it was like, it was a nice family. I'm meeting with the family. And now I'm going to buy a candy. You told Kelly this story? Yes.

You know what? I actually, I did. I actually told it to George. I never met George again. But I did speak to him once or twice when Mad About You was on. And I wanted to tell that story. I don't know if I did. I think I wanted to tell the story on about you was on and and i wanted to tell that story i don't know if i did i think i wanted to tell the story on letterman or something but i wanted to make sure he was okay with me saying that he was using coke and he said sure tell it

but there was a there was a uh uh an event that they did at the comedy magic club in hermosa beach on what would have been george's 75th i guess or something and. And L Comics were going up and telling the story, so I told that. And his daughter, Kelly, was very tickled with that story. It was great. But it was really weird, because she said, oh, I remember, she said, she remembered, she goes, that's where the hotel where my parents stayed.

She goes, I remember my mom was, it was like, it was really, and then I did this show that I created a couple years ago called There's Johnny, which was backstage, sort of like Toast to Manhattan, but it was a behind stage of the Johnny Carson show in 72. So fictitious characters in the real world. So we're digging up clips.

And it was 1972, which is when the Carson show moved to the West Coast. And I just, I went right away to George Carlin. I said, wow, I love George Carlin. And there it was.

And that was like four days after he was in my house. And I was like, I'm remembering, it's like he had that shirt on. That's bizarre. And that was like four days after he was in my house. And I was like, I'm remembering. It's like he had that shirt on. That's bizarre. And I went up, but it was like, and you know, and this is the fascinating thing that fascinated me about doing that research and looking at these old clips. We haven't seen these clips since we were whatever age,

but I remembered it. And I was like, because now you can see anything whenever you want, so it doesn't, you don't make an effort to remember anything. No. Right? Because I'll catch it later. It's on demand.

I'll get it whenever I want. But then you had to wait. Wait until your favorite guy was on. And you had to stay up late until 12 when they were on. Absolutely. And so here it was, 40, 50 years later or whatever. And I'm going, I absolutely remember this. But then I did the math.

I went, that was the week he was in my house. It was kind of mind-blowing. It must have been great going through those clips. Oh, gosh. Yeah, yeah. And we would, they have it all. Because not much exists before that time. Not much exists of the New York show.

No, it's all lost. A lot of that stuff's wiped. It's all lost. Yeah. And so, yeah, we were really scouring. And sometimes, it's all, all they have in the archives. And you could put in any word. If you need a Vietnam joke, there you go.

Here's every time somebody says it. So you look for a guest or we look for it. And it was interesting how, first of all, you just see how masterful Johnny was. And also how, in a good way, slow the shows were. Because he wasn't in a hurry. And nobody was selling. They didn't come on necessarily because they had a movie. It was like, well, here's Michael Landon for no reason.

Here's Tony Randall. Oh, yeah, the Akavit show was like that. You could get Katharine Hepburn or Frank Capra, and they didn't have anything to sell either. Yeah, but those were going to be extensive interviews. Extensive, yeah. But here was Johnny's, was just having fun people. Right. And there was no hurry.

George Segal would come on and play the banjo and he didn't have anything and you see people for three segments in a row going do you have nobody else to go and i remember jack parr saying that you know he did a late night show and that was taken into consideration that it's night time you're lying in bed're relaxing, so you didn't do anything aloud. You'd go, now our next guest, you speak quietly. Interesting. Yeah, and, well, Carson used to joke about, he knew he was on 1130, so people are either falling asleep to him, people are having sex during him, people are not having sex because

of him, but he was a part of your life. Yes. In a way that it just isn't the case because there's nothing that's that important. There's no appointment television. If you want to watch Colbert, if you miss it, you watch it tomorrow. Yeah, or stream it. Watch it on your phone, yeah.

And I feel we're at a point, too. It's not like, first of all, there was that long wait from when a movie stopped running in theaters to when it went on TV. Now it's playing at the same time. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. A lot has changed.

But, yeah, but I hadn't thought about that piece, that people were not necessarily guests because they were hawking a book. Sometimes they were, but often just like we need to we need a singer we need a you know we need a comedian and you'd see things like in december 72 maybe 71 72 i think steve martin was making his second appearance on the tonight show and he brings where he goes is a young man making his second appearance he was here last time as a comedian uh now and he was that didn't work out now he's here as a magician you know it was and he was still finding his public persona he didn't even have white hair yet steve martin and he thought oh there was a point when steve martin was about that it was a new up-and-coming guy they do flydini and yeah all that stuff and i heard that there were major stars who would do the mighty carson art players you know the skit

at the beginning just because it was fun yeah you know and there was a sense that especially as a kid and especially when it moved to california i don't really remember watching the show in new york i would have been i could have but i i don't my my image of it is in the burbank and that's when it seemed to be that's when i went to be, that's when it went to color, and that's when it was cool, and it always felt like that was some cool cocktail party. Yes. Very much so.

Johnny was conventional enough to be at home with Midwesterners, but he also seemed hip, and he'd have a Nehru jacket or a little ascot, and it's like, oh, he's cool, and smoking the cigarettes and making jokes about you know broads and like okay that's that's the other thing you realize whoa none of this would fly now it's just an unacceptable sort of level yeah of uh insensitivity but i i also remember since that was still puritan you know it's like you had to get away there were certain things you could get away with so you could make a joke and this was being risque if you'd say nudist colony well a nudist

colony was the wildest thing anyone or there was even a book at the time by this title and people would use it as a punchline and that was do you sleep in the nude that was like the wildest sex and i remember though he would have um theresa ganzel oh sure a lot of these very very carol wayne carol wayne yes and they was and but the jokes were sort of they were playing sort of bimbo-ish. Yes. But he would let them get away with very risky. I remember, I don't know if it was Teresa, I guess, or somebody else, doing a joke, bowling balls, and the joke was something about,

I only like pink balls. And Johnny would let that joke hang there, excuse the expression. Or there was somebody else who joked about having the cat on her lap, would you like to pet my pussy? Really? Really? Did he not know that was coming? Or did he make her say that?

You know what I remember, too? Carson would do it. Merv Griffin did it a lot. To have a girl entertainer who always had an impossible accent that she never lost, you know, like Charo or someone like that. And they would always accidentally say something sexual. Yeah, so funny. So you think now that was planned?

Yeah, absolutely. Because he would always be like, oh, and I ride in my penis. Oh, I meant car. Which Carson shows were you watching? I meant car. Did I say penis? It's a real labor of love for you, that show.

I mean, you came up with the idea years ago. So there's Johnny, yeah. Yeah, there's Johnny, Which I can't find. I know Seeso went under and Hulu took it over. Seeso and Hulu took the show. And then somebody let me know the other day, I got Hulu and it's not there. Can't find it. Apparently, Comcast had a deal with Hulu.

They had the show for two years. And then they sort of cleaned files. I went, wait a second. So that show. Because my whole thing about streaming is like, hey, this is great. You don't have to watch it the same day. You can watch it. It'll be there forever.

Don't worry about it. And I went, yeah, it's not anywhere. I went, well, that's great. You don't have to watch it the same day. You can watch it. It'll be there forever. Don't worry about it. And I went, yeah, it's not anywhere. I went, well, that's, so actually I'm working on getting that back somewhere. It's like, thank heaven. You need to see it. It was really, yeah, good. So it's very, it's frustrating

when you do something and it's just evaporate. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. You'll flip for $4 pancakes at A&W. Wake up to a stack of three light and fluffy pancakes topped with syrup. Only $4 on now. Dine-in only until

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this single malt scotch whiskey is guaranteed to impress dad this father's day the glenn libbitt live original please enjoy our products responsibly now i i have to ask you a question because this comes to uh cause pain to another comic and that makes me happy. Tell us how you got the job in Diner. Another dead person victim joke. Yes, yes.

Now you know who you're dealing with, Paul. You've heard this story too many times. He's a sadist. Look at all the stories Frank has. Cards, come on. That one we've done. You've heard that. I do times. He's a sadist. Look at all the stories Frank has. Cards. Come on. That one we've done. You've heard that.

It's not interesting. I do want to say about There's Johnny that I've seen clips of Tony Danza as Fred DeCordova, and it's inspired casting. I haven't seen an episode because they're not available. I will have to get it. Tony Danza as Fred DeCordova. It was the only guy who played an actual character. Otherwise, they were all fictitious.

But Tony was brilliant. Yeah, that was a very smart casting director. Do you remember who was on your first Carsonon with you i know this is a crazy question in 82 i don't because i didn't do the panel i just did my stand-up and disappeared so i didn't even know if there were other people on this show he did the carson art players that night and lynn lynn redgrave okay i didn't know that that. Yeah. I was lined up to host the Tonight Show, guest host, in maybe 87 or 88. And they were trying out new guest hosts.

Because they had Gary Shandling and Billy Crystal, and then they were trying a couple of other people. And I had a date, and I was going to do it. Wow. And it was in TV Guide and everything, and then there was a director's strike and there was no tv for a week and then it went away and i looked back i was like well it would have been really cool and i was really flattered to have even been tapped but i'm thinking thank god i because i would have not ready to do that yeah i could barely do it now but then it's like

oh forget it yeah you and i would not have wanted to tune in and see somebody as inexperienced as me hosting it's like no you know what was your experience with a man i mean you did it 22 times i think i did more than that wow those are the ones i counted on i am could be more obviously like that but um there was a period you know i did that first one in 82 yeah and that was when diner came out so So it was sort of like, that was by, because I hadn't gotten on just as a comic. So it was like, well, he's got a movie coming out, blah, blah, blah. And it was fine. I did okay.

And then I didn't do it. I don't think, what was his name? Jim McCauley, another guy, not alive. And I, you know, you had to get past these guys who were the gatekeepers. And the gatekeepers, their whole job was, will Johnny like him? And for some reason, he didn't think I was right for the show so i didn't do it for a long time and then like four years and then 86 i think i was again because i was an alien so i went on for that and then i sat down on the panel and something worked and so then they had me back a lot and

i didn't realize till later like that was often i was on like like every 10 weeks or something and johnny took a shine and i watched little clips of it and i saw myself relax like in the beginning you just want to make johnny laugh and then you know you want to do well and you i was jamming trying to get material in and like i hope i stay on subject and then i sort of let go of that and realize oh i think i'm okay i think i'm over the hurdle now it's not like each one's an audition. Yeah, and then I would say, well, Johnny would laugh, and he would laugh at an ad lib,

or, you know, he would, I remember one time I went on with a prepared bit. I was, and, oh, the bit was, I had a movie, and I didn't have a good clip, but I said, Johnny and I, they didn't get the clip in time, so, but I did want to,

so I had these cards made up, and I had, like, these big cardboard things with the pencil sketches. Like this is, this is, it looks like Alec Baldwin, but you can see that it's Alec Baldwin. And this is me. And then we're in a car and I'm selling. And I thought that'd be a cute thing. And it just wasn't funny. And about three cards in, he's just looking at me like, go ahead, it's your funeral.

But that became the joke. There's like, wow, this is not working at all. And he's going, no, no, no, continue. I'm going, oh. So, but that was, I mean, I really stand back now and think, oh, that meant such a huge voter support. Because all you want is like one of those A-OK signs from Johnny. I can imagine.

At some point, he just took a shine to me. And I was on a lot. And I saw him be very comfortable with me. That was the other thing, that he really loved comics. I mean, you'd see him genuinely be happy for anybody who does well. And that's not really the case with everybody. You'd see with a lot of talk show hosts where they try to top the comic. Yes, yes.

And Johnny was a host in the truest sense. You're the guest. And if you were hitting a little dry spot, he would pick it up and he would start a new thing. And when you were on a roll, he would stand back. And he was massive. That's why he was on 30 years and nobody could touch him. Those were the shows where he most came alive, too. Rickles and Dangerfield. You could see that he was genuinely enjoying himself as opposed to hitting the marks.

Yeah, no, he loved having funny people. Or Steve Martin. Yes, and he also loved nurturing new talents. You know, Stephen Wright or Steve Martin even. Albert Brooks, and I talked to Albert about this. You know, Albert never worked as a comic. He told me he tried his things out on The Tonight Show. That would be the first time.

And they would kill, and they were brilliant, but they were so cerebral, and they were so inside baseball, there were usually twists on showbiz, and Johnny just got it and loved it and gave him the spotlight, because if he hadn't, it would have been a very different career, or much more delayed. But Albert Brooks, and we knew Albert Brooks from The Tonight Show,

or I did anyway, and it was only because Johnny got it and Johnny knew how hip that stuff was. Because it was really out there. I mean, Albert was crazy, but it would slay Johnny. So Johnny's nephew, Jeff, was the keeper of the flame.

You guys, you developed this idea, you hammered him year after year, you wouldn't give up, you were very persuasive, and when who was the keeper of the flame, you guys, you developed this idea. You hammered him year after year. You wouldn't give up. You were very persuasive. And when you got the green light, you got to go through all of these clips. You were just a kid in a candy store. Yeah, it was. And then I said, boy, I hope someday Hulu takes it off their catalog and it's unavailable.

That was my wish then. And look how life works out nicely. Somebody's got to run this thing, Paul. Yeah, somebody out there will get there. It's important. We'll get it out there. I also remember with Johnny Carson, there would be these ridiculous urban legends.

You always wondered, well, you know, like they'd say, oh, did you hear when Johnny said this this and this or this happened between him and this actress on the air and it never happened yeah and you'd go well if that happened wouldn't everybody in the world know about it but I remember there were urban legends with Johnny Carson well yeah you couldn't check those things and you go I guess that happened yeah well he loomed so large you know in our lives

I mean it's even 12 years the first 12 years of Jay doing the Tonight Show and Jay's a friend but I would still tell people I didn't mean to but I would, I'm doing a Carson show. Yes, yes. I still don't call.

By the way, Helen Hunt and I are doing a Tonight Show tomorrow night. It still struck me like, oh, it's in New York. Right, I forgot. I'm still stuck. It's still Johnny and the Curtain. It's still Johnny. Yeah. But it's just synonymous.

You never said, I'm doing the Tonight Show. You say, I'm doing the Johnny Carson Show. It was never called the Johnny Carson Show, ever. It's kind of like, I always thought that with the Muscular Dystrophy Telethon was the Jerry Lewis Telethon. It was never the Muscular Dystrophy. Right, yeah. And you got to work with Jerry on Mad About You. I think one of the cool things about Mad About You, when you go through that cast list, is how many of your comedy heroes you got to book. All of them, yeah. And you got to work with Jerry on Mad About You. I think one of the cool things about Mad About You

when you go through that cast list is how many of your comedy heroes you got to book. All of them, really. I mean, we had, you know, we had Sid Caesar, we had Carol Burnett, Carol O'Connor, Jerry Lewis. Uncle Phil. Yeah. Oh, Carl Reiner.

Mel Brooks. Carl Reiner. Carl Reiner, yeah. I mean, you know, it was, we would pinch ourselves. Carol Burnett actually came back and did another episode in this new batch of 12. Oh, great. Great. And she's, you know, she's not 27, but she's Carol Burnett. And you just, there's certain legends, and you just, you can't not see the aura around her of how big she was in our lives.

Absolutely. I mean, like, my God, Carol Burnett. And I was trying to explain to this young actress who plays our daughter who's 24. I said, do you know who Carol Burnett is? She goes, yeah, I know the name. And you realize you can't get it, and it's okay. Because we didn't have that many choices.

And Carol Burnett was a huge part of our lives. But to watch her, she had a couple of scenes, and she would just, every line was just squeezed for just seemingly effortless of just every piece of comedy and every piece of drama was in there. And she's just it was a treat to watch. There were those stars that I think can't exist nowadays because it's too much. days because it's too much it used to be celebrities uh a normal human being couldn't meet a celebrity right well the whole the whole idea of celebrity has been expanded to include you know people like you and me so so again i don't mean that much yeah but yes but it's true there were movie stars and there were TV stars

and there were music stars and pop stars, but there wasn't the idea of everybody, you know, the Kardashians, like, well, you're celebrity celebrities. It's like that just didn't exist. And those were the celebrities that when you did meet them... It meant something.

And you'd go, no, this person can't exist on the earth. is that when you did meet them... It meant something. And you'd go, no, this person can't exist on the earth. How is he in front of me? Well, that was, I remember, and it's almost always the case, when you see that they're three-dimensional and real, it kind of takes a little bit of the luster off,

and sometimes you don't want to meet your celebrity. But I remember when I met Johnny Carson,on it's like he's not wasn't a big guy he was you know he was probably shorter than me and you see and that was the one thing that i noticed doing the the uh look doing all this research and look at all these tapes he existed mainly in two shots that you know the shot when he's doing his monologue from mid chest up and at the desk at the desk and anything other than those two shots looked a little wrong that's interesting right even a full shot of him standing his monologue but when he had and it was just the angle and his chest was you know he just had this aura of power

and he wasn't a big guy but he filled that screen and uh and when i met him it's like he was he's not a not a big guy but there was a he did have the presence around a minute and when you did his show I don't know if it was like this in the beginning. But by time I was there in the 80s and 90s When he was walking from his dressing room to the makeup or makeup to the set everybody was on lockdown like the president It's like hang on hang on a second a security guy was like and Johnny just so he could have a free reign But it had that old the king is moving. And then you get out there, and he's as hospitable and nice as can be. But he was iconic.

We were talking about Andrew Bergman for a second. Did you know that Mel Brooks offered Johnny the Waco Kid in Blazing Saddles? No. He turned him down and said, I don't do that. I do this. Yeah. This is what I do. That's so funny.

And you can't really imagine it. Yeah. With anybody but Gene Wilder. But it would have been interesting to see Johnny Carson. I remember seeing, I don't know. He didn't take many acting parts. There was a beep. No.

He's in a Get Smart episode. Yeah, but he shouldn't have. And they, of course, wanted him for King of Comedy. Right. They approached him, too. Scorsese and De Niro. Well, but he's smart. It's like, that's not what I do.

It was a B.B. King documentary. And I think it was Bono was telling the story that he said, you know, when we play the song, they did one song together. He said, now here's the chords. And B.B. King said, no, I don't do chords. I do this. What he does. That's what you do. I don't know what don't know what you do when you say bb king you picture that you don't picture that so it's like it's good to know what you do what was it like when when mel came in i heard you say uh i'm mad about you i

heard you say it was like an opioid high yeah there's mel brooks it was like staring into the sun it was just too much. He had an office. We had this character. We said, my crazy uncle. And we said, well, who? You know, you wish list, Mel Brooks. But he happened to have an office on the same lot in Culver City where we were. And just on a whim, Helen Hunt and I just walked over to his office.

And he was in. And we literally got down on our knees and please be on our show and and the thing was like he didn't find it all that odd that we'd be on our knees kissing his hand that's about right and and he was tickled that we wanted him and and uh which was you know it's interesting to remember that when jerry lewis did our show he said you know i've never done this i said you must have done a million these it was never you know, I've never done this. I said, you must have done a million of these. He said, it was never once. I said, you've never done a half hour show? He said, no. Wow.

He said, nobody ever asked me. Wow. And it's like the pretty girl that everybody's afraid to ask to dance. So when Mel Brooks, I'm sure Mel Brooks had been asked. But he, you know, and luckily he liked the show and he liked what we do. And, of course, he took his, we were all you know we all grew up on mel brun two thousand year old man records and so at the table read and and then the rehearsals were all like kids were going my god it's mel brooks and then you know and then and then you'd watch

it over the course of the week he would some things he would ad lib and then some some things he would very cleverly set up to ad lib on tape. Nice. And you didn't know it. I go, well, that's why he asked for that joke on Tuesday. Because he had a punchline ready on Friday. Son of a bitch. He's good. But when we were doing it, if you watch that, he did about four or five of them. On the first one, I was just, I was useless.

And if you watch it, there are a lot of cutaways to every other actor. Because I was in the corner with my shoulders shaking. And I would turn around like I was in a sixth grade play. Maybe they won't see that I'm laughing. It's like, asshole, it's television. They can see. You're not hiding. But I literally, and I've seen some still shots

where I'm staring at him like, oh my God. It had to be. It's just, and he is is he doesn't disappoint because he is so mel brooks he is he is um you know he we had and we became friendly and and uh a couple of times my wife and i socialized with ann bancroft and melvin and uh and he's mel and he's mel he's Mel and he's never not all those things really crazy funny

I don't mean crazy but ridiculously laser sharp funny and wildly sweet and generous and then it turns cranky and you just go okay that comes with it but I remember he said

they came over they had dinner we had a i remember he he said he said they came over they had dinner we had a little dinner party eight people and they came over and he called he says now listen i'm gonna be bringing some wine okay he goes i'm gonna bring good stuff not that shit that you're gonna serve i said whatever you want he goes goes, no, but look, I'm going to bring. And so then comes the dinner. The door rings. That's what I'm trying to do. I open it, and he's holding one of the, what are they called, the big size, you know, the magnum. And his first word, he goes, $189.

That's hilarious. Well, of course. And it was great. It was great wine. It was like, yeah, he doesn't want to take a chance and drink shit wine. Wasn't that one of the things you and Helen bonded about early was that she loved the 2,000-year-old man? Yes. And she knew those records by heart?

My best friends in college growing up, our sort of secret code was nine or a dozen punchlines from the 2,000-year-old man record. And that was our secret language. And if you didn't know it, then you weren't really one of us. And so Helen, I loved the minute I met her. And then I found out that she grew up, and she could recite Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein. No kidding. Like in a way that I, you know, way, way more than I do.

And she knows those records by heart. I went, oh, that explains so much why we get along and why she's so funny. And we actually filmed, we just filmed these new 12 episodes of Mad About You. We found out later it's the same stage where they filmed, they taped the Dick Van Dyke show and Lucy. Wow. And we went, this is like hallowed ground. Good vibes.

That's really good comedy vibes. Do you know, I remember at one of the clubs, they brought in this young woman who they were saying was the one who was taking over. She knew everything about showbiz. And I remember getting into a conversation with her and her saying, you know, I never understood what was funny about the 2,000-year-old man. And I thought from that point on. Don't need to know her. Done.

Yeah. Really. Yeah. And you can't explain it. Yeah. But, yeah, there's certain, I mean, there's nobody like. And I just watched, there's a new documentary on HBO. And it's a lot of old movies that you've seen.

And it's interesting. There's one, I didn't know there's a British filmmaker who's done three or four different things with him over the years, and they just show the sort of time-lapse photography in the 70s to 80s to the 90s and now. But, you know, he's just singular. There's only one of him ever. And you just mentioned you work in those studios

that house these classic shows. And I remember, I don't know if it was Toast in Manhattan, I don't know where it was, but I remember the studios were where the Three Stooges shot all of their shots. Really? Yeah, and that to me was magical. I wouldn't even imagine that there was one place only.

I would have always pictured them all over the place. Mentioning classic shows, you just reminded me of another Carson appearance, the famous appearance on the Mary Tyler Moore show in the dark during the blackout. Remember? Oh, yes, yes. Just his voice. Here's a question from a listener, Paul. Ray Garten, your work on the Kaminsky Method is wonderful.

It is, by the way. Thank you. You're a leader. Martin is quite a creation. I didn't recognize you for a full episode. Can you talk a little bit about working with alan arkin alan arkin is another one of those guys where where there's a sort of a not so secret club of agilent fans and and i remember as a kid i didn't i had no aspirations to be an actor i think i don't i don't have any aspirations but if i did it was like oh i want to be a actor. I don't have any aspirations, but if I did, it was like, oh, I want to be a comedian

and those guys. Never thought about actors. I never loved actors except for two. And I got to work with both of them. It was Peter Falk and Alan Arkin.

And then in The In-Laws and Andy Bergman's film, they get both of them. And I just remember as a kid seeing, I think the first time was The Russians Are Coming. And I'm going, what is this?

What? Who's this? There's just something magically, and it wasn't his accent, but you go, this guy's funny in a way that I don't know I've ever seen, and I don't know, what was it, nine, 10 when that came out?

And then over the years, you just watch it and go, this guy's brilliant, and then I got to meet him, and he's very much like your picture i mean he talks like he talks and you go wow that's really and and uh and he was gracious and is welcoming you know i was the new kid on his show and uh and i was i was disappointed we didn't get more we only had one scene together and that was so in frank scene the restaurant scene that's a memorable scene yeah there's a memorable scene and uh i didn't get to work with but but his his timing and his

and he's also so you know like like masters of anything it looks easy and it's not and it's not casual with him like he puts a lot of work and thought into everything and he won't do something that doesn't feel right or justified or um but you know, it's obviously a silly thing to say, but it's such a great feeling to even be in the company of people that you grew up admiring, to sit and work with them. And I'll tell you, Michael Douglas is not... It's a different story, because Michael... We didn't grow up watching Michael.

Michael became a star really in the 80s, 90s. And he's been a big star for so long that you just go, yeah, he's a movie star. And you don't, I never thought of him as like, well, not that I didn't think he was a bad actor, but I just never thought about it. I was like, well, he's a movie star. And I'm working with him, and he's the nicest guy,

and he's really very gracious and hospitable, and I'm watching him in a lot of scenes, and I'm thinking, I don't think this is gonna, he ain't doing anything. I don't think this is gonna be so good when I don't think this is going to be so good when it comes out and I'd watch the film and go oh he's brilliant

it's not just underplaying it's specific but it's just he does what he's doing and even doing nothing he's doing something and there were scenes where he's just reacting

and then I watch the film and you don't necessarily feel it or I didn't when we were shooting it all the time but then you'd watch him on film and like don't miss and you might you don't necessarily feel it or i didn't when we were shooting it all the time but then you'd watch him on film and like he's underrated on paper you wouldn't think he could play liberace so convincingly and he did yeah he's great and he knocked it out of the park he was fantastic and it's funny that like when people notice performances

they notice showy performances they like yelling and face making and everything and then they you could get ignored if someone's so subtle like that yeah but over there's a cumulative effect i mean you see that often enough and alan is well i wouldn't even say it's all subtle because there's a lot of big funny Alan I re-watched recently Poppy oh yeah sure and I remember loving that movie as a kid and it was watching it now

it was much more dark than I remembered I mean it's sort of sad but they were in the middle of this and he's playing a Puerto Rican

janitor in New York which you wouldn't catch today you couldn't do it but he had and it was a great accent I thought but there are a couple

of bits of physical comedy that are absurdly funny. And like in the middle of this drama. Or you think of The In-Laws, which is a comedy through and through, but he's not going for the laugh all the time. He's playing this guy. And some of the best laughs

are him staring at Peter Falk going, What the, what? Tzitzi flies with beaks. And he's just looking and his his you see you because you know him all these years you know what's going on in his brain and it's it's funny just to be there i remember when we were working together on the pilot and we were hanging out one of the things i remember us doing was like quoting lines from from the in-laws that's making perfect sense there you go well it was only three years old at that point still a pretty new movie yeah right

79 was it yeah and i remember alan arkin making me laugh with a line he said and this shows when someone's inherently funny he was in a tv movie where he's an inmate in a concentration camp he says one line there that wasn't a comedy line of course and i remember laughing out loud because there's something so inherently funny about him yes and part of what's funny is the presumed torture. Like there's an angst inside him. And he is all those things, and he's a healthy, vegan, meditative, Buddhist-y guy, and yet all that DNA of neurosis in there.

But he's a master. And he could play a convincing heavy if you remember her or Wait Until Dark. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. He's just a brilliant actor. So that was a thrill.

That was a thrill. Here's another question to lead you to his co-star, Lex Passeris. One of Peter Falk's last appearances was in a film with Paul, The Thing About My Folks. Good movie, by the way.

Thank you. That's where we met when I interviewed you. That's right. In which you co-starred. Any thoughts of working with him later in the game? I mean, it was late in his career. Any thoughts about while he's not alive?

What's the question? No, any thoughts about working with Peter at that time when it was late in his career? Oh, well, you know, I had that idea for a movie. The idea for the movie was I want Peter Falk to be my father. That's all I had. I just had this moment of insight.

It started because I was home. As I said, I grew up watching and just loving Peter Falk. Somewhere in the 80s, I was living in L.A. already and I was back visiting my parents and my father was watching whatever was on.

It was The Cheap Detective or something, I think. He was just laughing at Peter Falk and I just had this moment of clarity i went nobody makes my father laugh as consistently as peter falk why and i just had this peter falk father father so i said i got to write a movie where peter falk is my father and i played with it on and off for 20 years wow 15 years yeah and i you know i would think about i didn't have a story i put it away and i i just had the idea that a road trip and i just thought we would be funny together. And writing him was such a joy.

So finally, I went to see him in a play. He did a play. And I never told him. I met him once at an award show. I shook his hand. And, you know, I had the restraint to not tell him how much I idolized him. And then I went to see. He did a two-man play with Jason Alexander at a little

300 seat theater in LA. And I went backstage to say hi to Jason, who I knew, and I didn't know Peter. And I just went to say, you know, thank you and pay my respects. So Man About You was on the air at this point. And Peter Falk shook my hand and he made a point of looking me right in the eye. And he said, I love everything about you. I said, well, he says, I love your acting. I love what you write. And he took a long pause. I went, how does he know I'm right?

And he repeated it. He said, do you hear me? I love what you write. I went, all right, I'm not going to get a bigger sign from God than that. How about that? I literally went home. I said, okay, start writing it. And at that point, I that? I literally went home. I said, okay, start writing it. And at that point,

I had had kids of my own, and I suddenly realized what I wanted the father-son story to be. And I wrote it pretty quickly. After fooling around for 20 years, it came out pretty quickly. And I got his number,

and I called him up. I said, can I give you this? And he said, yep. And then I drove to his house, gave it to him. And he says, I'm a slow reader. I said, can I give you this? And he said, yep. And then I drove to his house, gave it to him. And he says, I'm a slow reader. I said,

don't take your time. And I get home, and that night, he's, about like nine o'clock, I get a phone call. And I had stepped out. I was walking the dog.

I come back. I was waiting for the phone call. I was like, oh, I missed it. And then the phone call, I just hear him go, well, I love this. oh, I missed it. And then the phone call, I just hear him go, well, I love this.

Oh, this is fantastic. I'm on page 54, and I fucking love this. And I went, oh, okay, I could die now. I don't even have to get to page 55. And I said, read it. Read the rest. He goes, it's going to be a while. I'm going to slow down.

I said, take your time. And then he calls me, and he literally says, well, let's go do this. I went okay you never hear that that's great and so then uh you know as a matter of finding a producer and and and getting it set up and finding but I but talking about working in his end of his you know he was in he was 75 and I thought just to kick myself in the pants I said you know if you wait any longer there aren't gonna be a lot of actors left who can play your father, right? You know, it was whatever, 50, 40, whatever. So there's a small number and it, and I didn't, and I just had to be Peter. I just knew,

and it worked. And, and writing for him was such a joy and I would write him all these big speeches. Can I, am I allowed to curse? Yes, of course. Yes, I think you have been. I have been. I just didn't know if it was okay. I'm the host of it. Oh, what am I thinking? So here's, I may have shared this story when we did the thing. But so I wrote these long scenes because I loved hearing him talk. And they fit him. And I was really pleased that I knew the musicality of his rhythms and his voices. And I just, you know, I couldn't do that for anybody else, but I knew I could do it for Peter Falk.

So I wrote these long scenes. It's a couple of long speeches. So before, he hadn't really 100% committed. He said he was going to do it, but we were getting the money set up and we had a big meeting with the director and producers, and they were having a technical discussion

about how we're going to shoot it on film or video. On film, it 30 15 millimeter 30 what a 35 millimeter is it 15 18 video 24 frame 12 frame 36 and he's quiet the whole time and finally he says you know i gotta say something you you talk about 24 15 35 you've never shot on 75 i said what was 75 he goes I'm 75 years old I can't learn

all these fucking words and then he did that's great and we did and the one scene that I remember and it's a I'm so proud

that I'm so happy that I got to make this movie you know and it made nothing but I was like oh but I made it you know it didn't make yeah you got to live out your dream I lived out And it made nothing, but I was like, oh, but I made it. You know, it didn't make $11.

Yeah, you got to live out your dream. I lived out my dream. And while we were making it, every day I was going, I'm driving. And we shot beautiful upstate New York. It's a peach scene, the stairs with me. Yeah. But we're driving in the fall foliage in New York, and I'm in a 1936 car with Peter. And I'm going, how did life turn out this good?

I'm with Petereter falk and i'm and he's saying my words and then we have these long scenes where we're driving the car back to the first position now we're just bullshitting and that was more fun than whatever i wrote but um oh so there's this one particular long scene where he has this outburst and he finally you know i've been poking at him and poking at him and questioning his fathering and his parenthood and he just unleashes this thing. And he walks around the car and he's just letting me have it. And he did it in one take.

And it was about a two-page scene. And in the end, everyone just started applauding. And I was standing next to the producer. And he had tears in his eyes. And he goes, that's why I'm in this business. To watch that. To watch Peter Falk at 75 ford at 75 i don't know that he did a lot of work after that probably not um yeah and it was just a thing to and he

worked so 2005 for we made it in 2003 he came out 2005 yeah and he he died in 2010 i think he was working that much um but he and and all the greats and and i've and I've seen this time and time again, the people that we admire never take anything for granted. Mel Brooks worked on his things. Carol Burnett worked on every prop, every piece of business. Peter Falk,

I mean, when he ever got, people said, oh, he's cantankerous, and I only saw that when he was frustrated with himself, or that something was in the way of his work, but he worked so hard, and Alan Arkin, tookin too it's like these guys don't have to work they could coast but

that's why why do it if you're gonna coast i remember sure bruce stern is he with the show no he's been there a long time we will return to gilbert godfrey's amazing colossal podcast but first a word from our sponsor i remember bruce stern we asked him a question and he said i just want to keep trying to be a better actor and you figure done like thousands of films he's still working it. He's great in all of it, but he's not coasting. Yeah, and there was one night that was sort of unpleasant, and he got really frustrated, Peter, and it was late at night,

and we were out in the woods, and he kind of threw a little bit of a fit, and he lashed out at the director. He never lashed out at me, because thank God he liked me, but he got really upset. He literally flipped the table at me because, thank God, he liked me. But he got really upset. He literally flipped a table. I mean, he was like a powerhouse.

And he flipped a table. And then he kind of felt ashamed and embarrassed about it. And nobody wanted to go in. And I gave him a couple minutes and I went into his trailer. And I said, you're right. And he had tears in his eyes.

He goes, I just want to get it right. How about that? And everyone said, well, he's prima donna. And I said, no, not at all. He just want to get it right. How about that? And everyone said, well, he's prima donna. I said, no, not at all. He just wants to service the peace and be good. I went, God bless him. I'm not saying it's unheard of in the office. I'm not an innocent.

Bernie Cain, you remember Bernie Cain, the sales rep? Stuffed everything that moved between Baltimore and Syracuse. Legendary coxswain. Boasted about it. And his wife, by the way, adores him. Thinks he's the greatest thing since Ovaltine. But me, me, who never once so much has laid a finger on another woman,

me, your mother had to run away from after 47 years because I'm such an unconscionable prick. Well, maybe I shouldn't have shown you. You're damn right you shouldn't have shown me. And look at your car. You gonna call somebody to fix it? I'm gonna call someone. Or is it gonna fix by itself sitting there?

I'm gonna call someone. Good, because I'm goddamn hungry now. And aggravated. And I have to pee. And you know what? I'm gonna pee right here. Go ahead. You're damn right I'm going ahead.

And I don't need permission from you. You hear that, everybody? Sam Kleinman fell on New Jersey, and I'm going to pee wherever I goddamn please. He's great even in weak movies. Yes. Like all the marbles. And he's never bad. He's great even in weak movies. Yes. Like all the marbles. And he's never bad. He's never bad.

And Cookie and movies that are not so good. And he rises above everything. Yeah, he was magic. Did your dad, was your dad around to see it when you finally? No. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, he didn't see it. My mom, my mom saw it and didn't see the parallels because it was so much was so out of the movie.

And I mean, so much of the movie was out of my parents life or my conjecture my projection about what my parents dynamic would be and remember I had to set up a private screening it was just my family and I was thinking well this is

going to be such an upheaval and emotional thing and I remember the credits are rolling and my mother just goes whoo look at all the people that worked on this

all right okay I guess a gaffer what's a gaffer all right i got one go ahead go remember i remember one story uh you telling about that your mother went somewhere and she came back they had these like keyains that had a tag with a name on it. And she, you don't really know. Paul was looking very puzzled. Okay. I don't remember any part.

You sure it was me? Yep. Where's it going? I don't remember. Keychain? It stayed in my mind. It had a name on it? Because we were talking about Jews, our favorite topic.

That's surprising. And old Jews in particular. Yes. favorite topic that's surprising jews in particular yes and you said your mother uh was somewhere and they had all these keychains with girls names on them and and she bought one that said susan and you said to her you said yeah but your name is helen why did why did you get one that said Susan on it and she said they didn't have one that said Helen. Do you have any memory of this Paul? Yeah well first of all that's my mother's name so like your memory is insane that you would remember my mother's first name but yes and that when people say well your parents funny went yeah but not on purpose. That's funny.

Yeah, that's so like. But your dad loved Buddy Hackett and Charlie Kellis, I heard you say. My dad loved Buddy Hackett. Good taste in comedy. He was funny. I mean, he enjoyed, and he was a good laugher, but he wasn't, when he would say, it's almost like there was, here's the book end of that on my father. He would say, I forgot how it came out. Like, some doctor told me I had to stop drinking coffee. So he would say, I forgot how it came out. Like, some doctor told me

he had to stop drinking coffee. So he would drink tea. And I can't remember the sound. But like, I said, but Dad, I still see you drink coffee. Let's go out for coffee. I said, not a lot of drink coffee. He goes, no, I'm drinking coffee.

It's tea inside the cup, but I'm having coffee. I said, but you're not having coffee. You're having tea. He goes, no, I'm having coffee. It just happens to be tea. I go, no, I'm not having coffee. It just happens to be tea. I go, well, that's a different thing. And then, actually, I ended up doing a bit about that, because he's right.

If you're British, you go for tea. Here, you have coffee. Even if you're having a fresca, you're still having coffee. That's funny. That's the name of the act, the name of the meal. I remember hanging out with you. I can't believe you remember that. I did barely.

Yes. I never. It sounds exactly right. He's got a strange memory. That's crazy. And I remember, too. the meal i i remember hanging out i can't believe you remember that i did barely yes i did i never it sounds exactly he's got a strange memory and i remember and i told you that 37 years ago yes oh my god yes and that stuck with me you gotta get out of the house go on a vacation they didn't have one that said helen and i i remember too that's we were we were hanging out one night and he said let's go to the movies and I wanted to see that new

Gone with the Wind. No. No. Far from it. The new thing. The thing. Oh John Carpenter's the thing. John Carpenter's the thing. Right. Kurt Russell. And you know it was up my alley you know monsters and heads exploding that's you and you wanted to see a bunch of other films so finally we wound up seeing the

thing we did yeah and and there's heads exploding and blood and everything and and I remember I I didn't even look over at you but I heard you say like to yourself I'm not enjoying And then to yourself you said Gilbert wants to see this we saw this I'm sure we didn't see it, because I'm so not the kind of thing I want to see. So here's, this is marrying two stories. A couple of times, Peter, after we worked together,

Peter and Falk, we would hang out, we'd get together. Then we went to some movie. He wanted, and he had very sort of elitist, or no, artistic taste. And he wanted to see a new Maldivar movie. And it was one that was particularly experimental and abstract. And it's in Spanish, and it's odd, and it's artistic. And we're sitting there, and there's people around. And in a voice that wasn't quite a whisper, with a big smile,

he doesn't look at me, he's looking at the screen, he goes, you know, I would enjoy this a lot more if I knew what the fuck is going on. That's great. He likes to say fuck, apparently, Peter Falk. Here's a question that is about your mom. Hey! TKDSan says, is it true that even Paul's own mother hated his character Burke in Aliens? No.

I do remember... Well, it's close. I remember I went with my parents and one of my sisters to I guess the premiere or big screening here, and my sister punched me in the arm in the middle of it. She said, oh, I can't believe you did that and punched me.

My mother, I remember, did not punch me. Okay. No. One of the things I like about this. I have to clarify this woman's understanding of my family dynamic. Not my mother, but yes, a sibling. Talking about, before he says cautionary tale sometimes to meet your heroes, it's nice that in the case of Arkin and Falk, you met and worked with both of these guys,

and they both delivered. They both completely lived up to your expectations. This is a segue. This speaks highly to my taste because I didn't pick assholes. Interesting. And this is a perfect segue because we'd be remiss if we didn't talk about someone we have in common that we all admire. Who's that? And that is a friend of this show.

Who's that? Richard Kind. Yes. I never cared for him. Can you tell us anything before you get out of here? Because we know you've got to go. Yes. I have so many things to do.

You've got things to do. You've got things to do. I've got things to do. Do I have to leave? And before we forget, you named all the major stars who were on Mad About You. All won awards. Yes. Is that where you're going? What?

I was on Mad About You. Oh, yes. Gilbert. Directed by David Steinberg. Yes. Oh, the doggy. The dog walking. Yes.

Yes. I totally forgot. Yes. On a doggy. The dog walking. Yes. Yes. I totally forgot. Yes. And I remembered you explained we were meeting the dog walking park and Gilbert says, My dog has a, when I hold his testicles, he's inflamed. And what I do, and we had to walk away. And this is where the classic story comes from. Uh-oh.

Where I had to say something and run off and then david steinberg says can you run a little faster and i said yeah i guess i can run faster and he goes no no no i don't mean faster i mean more grace graceful. And I said, graceful? And he goes, not so choppy, more even. And then finally he throws his arms up in the air and he says, can you run less Jewish? What can we say about the great Richardard kind you have one one little anecdote or even if it's just praise well praise we know he's listening praise a plenty uh yeah great in red oaks by the way he's great in red oaks yes he's beautiful uh richard i'll tell you when we

cast the original man about you and we had these the character with these best friends mark and fran and the the premise at least in the pilot was you love them but uh they're just always over do we have to see them and there was sort of in a comedically nuisance way and richard walked in the door and just killed it and he was we said yes please can we have this guy and then we had to audition uh the wife fran and and and every actress felt so bad, because we were all just hysterical watching Richard, even when he already had the part. But now we had to just sit through all these other interviews, auditions, and we're going,

oh, I feel so bad for all these women, because Richard is just crushing it, and nobody's going to be that funny opposite him. And really, nobody can. He's just hugely funny. And he's such a talent. And I think sometimes, because he can do so many things and he's so he could break your heart in a pixar movie your heart he's beautiful oh god that was gorgeous yeah yeah he was beautiful in that and and i guess i i share this somewhat and a lot of comics i think sometimes we play against

you know well i don't want to i don't want to go the easy route. And sometimes he will sit on his hands, sit on his comedy hands and go the other way. And a couple of times I would say to him on this, I go, Richard, go the funny way on this. And he would go, all right. And then he would open a faucet and boom, it's the funniest thing. You go, that's all. And I mean, it's not so easy, but he's just so funny and and powerfully funny i mean and i'll tell you one of the things that's what sort of solidified this this uh reboot when we visited helen and i had been in touch and and and we had gotten together all the time and but we had not all together as a cast gotten together and the moment it became

real is when i opened the door and richard kine walks in with a big line goes when a child leaves the home it's like a death and i went okay we're back in show business it was it was like you know it was almost for me it was like a such a familiar it was almost like an iconic moment richard kine bursting into a door is going to give you funny always he's a guy who's just joyful to watch you you get the sense that he loves his work he loves doing what he's doing and he jumps off the screen he doesn't matter what he's playing yeah he he is just a powerful and he's and his rhythm is uniquely his and his his mishigas is uniquely his he's a yeah he's he's i love him to pieces let's get to the plugs and what's going on with you it's a real hair oh kam, a plug. Kaminsky Method.

That's on Netflix? Yes. I hope they pick up a second season if they're smart because I would love to go back and make some more. That was really fun. You were great. Martin is, as I said, a great invention. I want to plug Red Oaks both for you and Richard.

Sure. And it was nice to see you playing Son of a Bitch and playing it convincingly. When you say Son of a Bitch, I say misunderstood. Really? He's kind of... He's edgy. Yeah. You compared him to Richard Crenna's character in Flamingo

Kid. You do a lot of research. There were similarities. I'm a sick person, Paul. What do you know about the Chinese version of Mad About You? It's called Xin Hong Gang Yu. Yes. Which doesn't translate quite the same. Or the Spanish version. I saw one of them. It didn't seem quite the same. Or the Spanish version.

I saw one of them. It didn't seem funny to me. I'll tell you, you know what? It's funny. They took our scripts, and my friend, my dear friend Billy Grunfest, do you know him? Funny guy.

Funny guy, and who also was a writer and producer on Mad About You all those years. He went over there sort of as the liaison and consultant because they'd never done a multi-cam camera in China. So this was the first. And so he was sort of helping them with the format but also with what made them Mad About You work. So he would help them.

They would translate it and then he would hear it translated back and something got lost. It's like it should come back the same as it went went but it's like when you change money at the airport to another country it's like either way you're gonna lose some money every time you handle it something falls off so he he um and so he was there and he was like trying to keep them on track like well here's why the show works and here's it's not about jokes it's about the relationship but the thing so we watched one of them and they were our scripts

obviously I didn't understand it but I remember the episode right and they had the actor and actress the leads were actually a married couple in real life oh

so they built a set which was similar to ours but what killed me and upset me and now I'm on to is like they took our blocking because we spend all week

going alright if you say that when you cross down to the refrigerator then I'll walk to the sink then you walk down that's the stuff and i'll pick up a pot and then when you put the that's the stuff that takes work they just took our stuff figure out your own shit don't do ours wow the chinese there's a there's a spanish language version too loco por vos yes that's in argentina yeah they made but yeah these are remakes. They're not subtitles. That's got to be flattering.

Yeah. Yes, so they made them in Argentina, and then, yes. I'm going to tell our listeners to please see Paul in The Kominsky Method with the brilliant Michael Douglas and Alan Arkin. Also, the movie Whiplash. That was good. Pleasure to see you in that. That was fun.

Terrific movie. Red Oaks with you playing against type a little bit. I would tell you to go see There's Johnny, but I don't know where to send you in that. That was fun. Terrific movie. Red Oaks, with you playing against type a little bit. I would tell you to go see There's Johnny, but I don't know where to send you, other than my house. I'm very French. Write a letter to Comcast, they own it,

because they had it, and for God's sake, if you have Spectrum, watch The New Man About You. Yes. They're really quite good. I'm very proud of that. I will say,

one big difference, Gilbert Gottfried is not in any of these. Damn it. That I remember. Maybe maybe you are it was only last month and you're doing stand-up again and i'm doing stand-up again which is really the fun part that's when all said and done the smoke clears like that's the fun stuff getting into a club you still having fun out there no no well he's waiting for the club to flood or a fire As he likes to point out When I'm waiting to go on I hope there's a fire

I'm always thinking here's your check We had a fire I had a story But I'll do it next time We want to talk about character actors with you next time All those great people You have 47 blue cards here How many did we get to?

About 26 We didn't want to ask about Bill Paxton with you next time. I mean, all those great people. And you have 47 blue cards here. How many did we get to? About 26. All right. Yeah, not bad. We didn't want to ask about Bill Paxton and all kinds of stuff. A million questions. We'll have to come back.

And Chuck Lorre and Freddie Roman. We'll talk about everything you want. I love Freddie Roman. Freddie. Angie Zarella. And your Neil Simon stuff.

Oh, we got stuff to talk about. Yeah. I want to thank our engineers, Dan Spaventa. Did I say that right, Dan? And Steve Varley. And of course, our photographer extraordinaire, David Simon, who was the man that Paul just referenced a moment ago.

Yes, that's exactly it. That's not the third David Simon. We're out of bullets. Alright, man. This was great fun. Thank you. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre. And we've been talking to a man who hasn't won anything.

Ever. Wait, didn't you win a BAFTA? What? Didn't you win a BAFTA award? I didn't win a fucking BAFTA. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Nothing that means anything. I was trying to help. Let's say I did. Yes, I did. I'm sorry. It's all coming back. My King Lear.

We've been working with someone not good enough. To ever. To win anything. I hadn't thought about it, but now I'm a little sad. Paul, we know you were rushed. Thanks for doing this. Thank you for having me. I won't come back until I win something.

So it's the last time. Yeah, never see you. Never see you Alright, thanks everybody Thanks Paul Tell me why I love you like I do And tell me who Can't stop my heart as much as you

Tell me all your secrets I'll tell you most of mine They say nobody's perfect child That's really true this time I don't have the answers I don't have a plan All I have is you So baby, help me understand

And me too You can whisper in my ear Where we go Who knows what happens after here Let's take each other's hand And jump into the final frontier Oh, yeah Listen

I know you Were hurt by other loves before Well, I was too More than a few Everyone's got stories, everyone's been burned Everybody wants to tell you everything they've learned I don't have answers and no one understands Check me what it is between a woman and a man

Can make the mystery seem clear. I just know you. And you want to hold me dear. Let's take each other's hand and party to the foul frontier. Hey, yeah. The foul frontier. Oh, yeah. All around the world we see people giving up on their love

And what they've got to They say it's hard, they say it's so hard And that they're wrong because they're scared what's whose and not But they don't know what I know Cause I know the look in your eyes And your smile I know all your secrets I know all your charms

I know what it's like to be whole In your arms, baby Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, There we go Let's trust our love will persevere It's only love that brought us here Take your hand and fly into the front of Frontier Hey, I'm mad about you, baby Mad about you, mad about you, baby I'm mad about you, mad about you, baby I'm mad about you, hey, I'm mad about you baby, oh dear And I'm mad about you, mad about you baby, oh dear I'm mad about you, oh dear

Stupid diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy