Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Classic: Paul Sand
Episode Date: January 27, 2022This week on “Gilbert Gottfried’s Amazing Colossal Classics."... Gilbert and Frank celebrate the 50th anniversary of the premiere (Jan 26, 1972) of one of their favorite caper movies, "The Hot Roc...k," with this classic episode featuring one of the film's stars, Tony-winning actor Paul Sand. Also in this episode, Paul discusses the birth of improv comedy and the early days of Second City and shares his memories of working with Carol Burnett, Sid Caesar, Mary Tyler Moore, Zero Mostel and Barbra Streisand. Also, Judy Garland beats a retreat, Paul tries on Harpo's wig, Marcel Marceau joins the French Resistance and teenaged Gilbert stumbles onto a movie set. PLUS: Elaine May! "The MAD Show"! Praising Valerie Harper! The brilliance of William Goldman! And Paul cameos in a memorable episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm"! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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TV comics, movie stars, hit singles and some toys.
Trivia and dirty jokes
An evening with the boys
Once is never good enough
For something so fantastic
So here's another Gilbert and Franks
Here's another Gilbert and Franks
Here's another Gilbert and Franks
Colossal classic.
This is Ron Friedman speaking under great duress,
reminding you that this is Gilbert Gottfried's
colossal, amazing, unbelievable, stimulating,
should-be-rated X because it contains things
that could be harmful to your genitals podcast.
Lucky you.
It could be a shitty weather report.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and our engineer, Frank Furtarosa.
Our guest this week is a director, comedian, and popular, versatile, and Tony-winning actor
who's appeared in both on and off Broadway, as well as in notable TV and movie roles since the 1960s.
You've seen his work in hit TV shows like The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Carol Burnett Show, Taxi, L.A. Law, Gimme a Break, Saint Elsewhere, Night Court, The X-Files, Dharma and Greg.
And in his own primetime series, Paul Sand in Friends and Lovers.
And Curb Your Enthusiasm.
That's next. Yes. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I thought you your enthusiasm. That's next.
Yes.
Oh, okay, I'm sorry.
I thought you were done.
That was the next sentence.
I'm sorry.
All right, I've had chocolate.
I told you.
Well, now you've thrown off the whole timing.
That will be spontaneous.
Yeah.
He's hopped up on chocolate.
Well, you've killed my introduction.
Okay, let's start over again.
Okay, go back.
Now, I'll just go end in an unforgettable role on Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm.
You bet.
See, you forgot about that.
I forgot that one.
That's why it's written down.
He's also done memorable work in feature films such as Viva Max, Holy Moses, The Great Bank Hoax, The Main Event, Teen Wolf 2, Chuck and Buck, and a movie that's been discussed on this podcast, The Hot Rock.
Oh, yes.
Hey, stop interrupting.
Yeah.
Co-starring with our one-time podcast guest, Ron Liebman and Charlotte Rae.
and Charlotte Rae.
He's also starred on the New York and Chicago stage as part of the famed Second City Comedy.
Company.
Not comedy.
Second City Company.
Second City Comedy.
Second City Company.
Yes.
All right, I'm going home.
As well as The Mad Show, inspired by Mad Magazine,
and he won a Drama Desk Award and a Tony Award for playing multiple roles in the Broadway
production of the Paul Sills Story Theater.
Along the journey, he shared the stage and screen with some of the most prominent figures in film, TV, and theater,
including Robert Redford, George Segal,
Alan Arkin, Barbara Harris, Richard Pryor, Dudley Moore, George Carlin, Zero Mostel,
and Barbara Streisand. He even worked with the legendary Marcel Marceau.
Please welcome to the show a favorite performer of Frank's and mine,
and a man who says he once threw up in the presence of Judy Garland,
the talented Paul Sand.
Well, I know I...
Thank you.
That was...
I think that was everything.
I think that was a lot.
That was a lot.
We're completists, Paul.
Did I mention curb your enthusiasm?
Yes.
Should I tell you my throw-up story?
Please, yes.
We insist.
Okay.
So I'm in Paris with the legendary Marcel Marceau.
And then I come back.
And then I'm sleeping at my parents' house.
And I get a telephone call from a choreographer named Paul Godkin.
Wonderful man.
And he said, why don't you come down?
I'm staging a show for Judy Garland.
Maybe there's something in it for you.
So do I have to talk fast?
No, no.
Talk at your normal pace.
I'm racing.
Isn't that weird?
It's the chocolate.
So anyway, I went down there, and there was all these people from the Freed group.
And those are people that ran all the MGM musicals in the early days.
Arthur Freed was the main guy.
And anyway, so Roger Edens was the piano player,
and Kay Thompson was in the room.
Remember Kay Thompson?
I know the name.
Anyway, okay.
So they were going to pick out the chorus people.
So I thought, I don't want to do that.
So I said, is there anything special I can audition for?
And they said, yeah, wait till we pick the guys.
So they picked the guys.
Then they said, what do you want to do?
And I said, I don wait till we pick the guys. So they picked the guys. And then they said, what do you want to do? And I said, I don't know, play some music.
And they played music.
And I just pretended I was in an MGM musical.
And I had all been able to dance.
And I worked with Marcel forever.
And so I start doing dances like from MGM.
And then Judy Garland walks in.
And she literally entered laughing
with a group of people.
And she sees that this guy, me, is standing,
I mean, is auditioning.
And she became, I'm racing again,
she became very friendly and polite.
And she liked everything. She said, do another one,
do another one. So she had me do three or four improvised dances. And then I said,
would you excuse me a minute? And I went out this exit into an alley,
I went out this exit into an alley, and I said, I don't feel good.
And anyway, I started to get sick against this wall of the alley.
And this little hand is holding my forehead.
And it's Judy Garland holding my head while I'm puking.
I can say that. Oh, my puking. I can say that.
Oh, my God.
Yes, you can say that.
Okay.
And I said, I'm really sorry.
I said, I do this when I get nervous.
And she said, oh, don't worry about it.
When we're on the road, you can use my bucket.
Oh, my God.
Wow. And I said, does that mean I got the job?
And she says, yeah, can you sing?
So I'm looking at Judy Garland, and I feel like I'm watching the movies, you know?
Sure.
And I feel like maybe I'm Donald O'Connor.
And I thought, I can't tell the truth.
I can't go back now.
So I said, yeah, I can't tell the truth. I can't go back now. So I said, yeah, I can sing.
And she said, well, then, you know, arrange it, blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, come and be my partner.
I'm doing this tramp number that I did with Fred, she said, Fred Astaire in the movies.
And you do it.
And that's how it started.
And a friendship was born.
She held your head while you vomited.
Yes.
Beautiful.
And you went on the road with her for a while.
Yes, it was one night stands.
We lived on a train.
She was recreating like the vaudeville days.
Wow.
So there were comics and singers
and I just did that one piece with her.
It was my first real job, actually.
Yeah, yeah.
That was my first paying job.
It was before Second City, even.
Do you remember any of the comics?
Frank Fontaine?
Wow!
Oh, Crazy Guggenheim.
Yes!
Hiya, Joe.
Hiya, Mr. Donahue.
It was pretty, yeah.
Yeah, it was pretty straight.
He wanted my job.
He wanted to do the number with Judy,
and so he would be whispering into my ear all the time
that they're going to fire you,
and I'm going to do your part.
So that was upsetting.
But, yeah, I started learning early the meanness of show business.
Sure.
I'm trying to wrap my mind around Paul Sand on the road with Judy Garland
and Crazy Guggenheim.
You remember he used to do that character on the Gleason show, Paul?
He used to do the drunk.
Not really.
No.
That's what Frank Fontaine,
that was his sort of
stage character. Yeah, Gleason
would be the bartender, and he'd
go, hey, you're crazy.
Hey,
you know.
Yeah, he was a
funny drunk.
In the days when you could get away with doing that
kind of thing. Yeah, I get it.
And who are the other comics?
Anybody else come to mind?
He's the only one, but there was a group of singers called the Hilos.
Wow.
Is that?
The Hilos.
I'm going to have to research that.
Yeah, look.
I heard you say that you thought she was psychic, Judy Garland.
Well, I think highly intuitive.
I mean, I don't know what's really psychic, but highly intuitive.
Because she always knew when to leave a party.
She would say, let's get out of here.
There's going to be a fight.
And we would, and there was.
That's a talent see i i hear so many stories of judy garland
being a total mess like totally confused totally screwed up and you uh have a different opinion? Well, I don't know.
I was with her every day,
and she seemed like an extremely talented lady
and very polite and very encouraging and very helpful,
and she was never weird to me.
She did only know who I was every other day.
How so? I don every other day.
How so?
I don't know why.
Wow.
She'd work with you and the next day not know who you
were?
Well, we all had to
get on a train
to go to
the next town like Eugene, Oregon or something.
And she said, give me a penny.
So I give her a penny, and she'd put it on the tracks,
and the train would run over it, and it'd be real flat.
And she said, here, keep this in your pocket.
It'll be good for you.
So I said, okay.
And then the next morning, I'd see her on the train and I go,
hi. And she'd look at me like, who are you? Wow. So, but she was, that's the only odd thing,
but I liked her and she was really helpful. Early in your career? I mean, well, just those few
months. Did you let on that you were kind of obsessed with MGM musicals as a kid?
Did you share that with her?
I don't know.
Maybe before she walked into the room.
I mean, Ginger Rogers was in the room.
Wow.
Wow.
I know.
I would have thrown up, too.
It was very exciting.
And this, Roger Eads could play the piano, and it sounded like a full orchestra. It was very exciting.
Roger Ease played the piano, and it sounded like a full orchestra.
Wow.
It was incredible.
Let's go back, Paul, a little bit, because Gilbert thought all these years you were Jewish.
Yeah, I'm very heartbroken. Paul Sand, which is not your real name.
Stop it.
Well, no, wait a minute.
I am Jewish.
My mother's Russian Jew.
Ah.
And my father's Mexican.
Ah, so you are a Jew.
Yeah.
Oh, I was going to stop the interview right here.
Is that how that works?
If your mother's Jewish, that makes you Jewish, right?
Is that how that works?
You were born Paul Sanchez and you changed.
That's right. That's the Mexican side. When did it become sand? And how did you settle on sand?
Somehow I got an agent named Lillian Small and she said, just like in the movies,
we got to do something about that name because everyone's going to think you're like some Jew from the Bronx
and you're going to walk in.
No, you're going to walk in with the name Sanchez
and they're going to expect somebody dark and swarthy.
But really, you look like a Jew from the Bronx.
So let's change your name.
So it was like sitting like this and went through it.
And I was always sitting on the beach.
I always lived on the beach.
And Hassan is half a Sanchez.
But that's in those days when those stories existed.
You know, we don't bother anymore to change names.
I don't think.
That's right.
bother anymore to change names.
I don't think.
That's right.
You went out to France
and how did you locate
Marcel Marceau?
You've done some
amazing research.
First time anyone's
ever said that.
It's the first time
he's ever done it, Paul.
No, it's amazing.
Yeah.
I'm in Paris.
I go to the Herald Tribune, which is this English-speaking,
English-language newspaper, and I went to Art Buchwald.
Ah.
Sure.
I went to his desk that he worked on the Herald Tribune at that time,
and I said, I'm this American guy.
I'm looking for Marcel Marceau.
Do you have his address?
And he looked in his Rolodex and he gave it to me and he said, good luck. And I said, okay, thank you.
And then I found where Marcel Marceau lived and I knocked on the door and I learned how to say,
I don't speak French. So I said, excusez-moi, mais je ne parle pas français.
And he says to me, well, I speak perfect English.
Just like that.
Wow.
Yeah.
So he said, I don't have a school, but I have a company.
Why don't you come back in a couple of weeks and audition for me
and i did and i got in the company wow now so what what amazes me with marcel marcel is i
would see him on tv and i knew he was a great mime but his past, his history, that he was in the French
Resistance. True.
Yes, indeed.
He ever talk about that, Paul?
Never. Interesting.
I didn't know that until years
later when I read about him, really.
I had no idea.
He never talked about it. And he would go on
these dangerous missions
where he'd smuggle children out of the country.
And he said that he kept the children quiet in those times that were terrifying times.
He kept them quiet by performing mime for them and entertaining them as a real hero yeah that's
amazing that's an that's amazing yeah yeah that's beautiful so he rescued about 70 children i think
you you were at a point in your life where you just decided that you you needed a change of
scenery you were what 19 you didn't want to go to New York? No, no, yeah. But I think I was about 18, 19 in there.
Yeah.
And yeah, I didn't want to, I wanted to run away from home.
I mean, my parents were wonderful and loving and no problem.
But I didn't want to go to San Francisco.
I didn't want to go to New York.
I wanted to go to France.
I've seen, I was always going to French movies.
I was always wearing black turtlenecks.
No, true, true, true.
What did they think when they saw you over there?
That I was a cowboy.
Yeah.
I love that.
They did.
They all thought of it.
And over here, before I left, they thought I was a French guy.
Yeah.
Let me talk a little bit about your childhood, too, because you were a shy kid, but you were a movie buff.
You loved MGM musicals.
You loved French movies.
You loved all this stuff.
Your parents were always encouraging to you.
Supportive.
Supportive. Supportive.
Yeah, I mean, they didn't push me around, but
they did this. Yeah, I would
get up in the morning and say, I want to take
piano lessons, and they said,
okay, or whatever.
They always encouraged me.
Like, yeah, supported me about it.
And wasn't it that you
said they were held
back in their childhoods?
Well, they didn't get to pursue their dreams.
Yeah, it was in their day.
It was like my mom wanted to be a ballerina and you can't be a dancer, they said.
My father was a wonderful painter, a beautiful, wonderful painter.
But he had to support the family.
So, yeah. But he would paint sometimes.
I still have a great painting of his, a few of them.
Your mother said you could study with Viola Spolin,
the great Viola Spolin,
as long as you didn't become a child actor?
I'm stunned at everything you know.
I am stunned.
No, it's what we do.
It's what we care about.
But that's amazing to me
yeah I saw a play one night
and it was all
under a blue light
and I was captivated
I said that's what I want to do
so
she called up UCLA
and said
who's the best teacher for kids
who won't make them crazy?
And so they found Viola Spolin, and we met,
and she got a scholarship for me, which was great.
And my folks said, you can take classes as long as you want, but you can't be a child actor.
You can do all this, but you can't go and, you know.
Yeah, they didn't want you to be one of the screwed up, crazy child actors.
Yeah, I think that was their reasoning.
Yeah.
I think it was wise.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah. Yeah. reasoning yeah i think it was wise no absolutely yeah yeah a little a little context about viola
spolin though by the way whose name has come up on this show before well i told you we had peter
bonners here oh yeah and we had other people here who and i can't think of who they are now but other
people who who uh gave credit to viola spolin well i think ed asner too was in the compass players
wasn't he we had ed Ed here. He mentioned her.
I mean, she goes back to the 30s.
She goes back to the WPA.
I mean, she was an actress.
She was a teacher.
She was a director and mentored a lot of people.
And she's the inventor of theater games.
She is, yeah.
She invented the whole.
Matter of fact, I belong to her little company called the Young Actors Company.
And she tried out all these theater games on us.
So I was about 9, 10.
Nine years old.
Wow.
And so her whole technique became my technique eventually.
Of course.
Not even aware of it, you know.
Right.
So how long did you study with her?
Because now I'm trying to fill in the gap between you starting with her at nine and disappearing off to Paris at 19.
Yeah.
I studied with the woman.
I came back and I worked more with her or Paul Sewells.
Her son.
I was with the whole family forever.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
And these are the
this is the father and the mother if you will
of improv
absolutely
this is usually the question I ask
toward the end of the show but
what are some of the things
you've learned the most important
lessons you've learned about acting
and performing
not to try lessons you've learned about acting and performing?
Not to try too hard.
To trust your own intuition, to trust yourself,
to trust your own person.
It's very hard to be yourself, but I think that's what works.
Because we all have almost everything in us.
And then you just play yourself basically, but you play yourself doing everything.
You know, yeah, we never were taught to put on odd makeup or funny noses or wigs and things.
It just, it all comes out.
I had the pleasure of working with your old friend,
Alan Arkin, on a talk show a couple of years ago.
And we asked him what was the mistake that people in improv make?
And he said, trying to be funny.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what's wrong.
When I go to a improv company now,
it's, to me, it's painful
because everyone's trying so hard. And that's all I pick up is people
trying too hard rather than being spontaneous. Viola used to compare true improvisation with
a basketball game where everybody's on the same side and we can't play the game without each other.
And now it's become,
it seems to me everyone's competitive with each other.
And that doesn't make for brilliance.
Did Paris live up to your expectations?
You had seen all these Godard films and Truffaut films?
Yes.
Okay.
So you had an idea of what it was going to be like and
it was just like the movies it was great lived up to your expectations it was perfect yeah yeah
you know what's funny when you were saying about being yourself I've been in both sides one where
I've auditioned for things and other times where I've watched other people audition.
And people come in and they'll be totally charming and likable.
And then all of a sudden they act.
Yeah.
That's it.
They're gone.
There's nobody there.
Yeah.
Well, Herp Technique was more about being of service on stage to the the other performers and it being a group thing, getting out of the way.
Exactly. Just being with each other and seeing what comes up. It takes a lot of courage, but it pays off.
At some point in Paris, you decided what? I've had enough of this and I have to go home.
Now, wait a minute.
Where did you read that?
Because that's absolutely what I was thinking.
We're like Judy Garland.
Was it too much of a good thing?
We are like Judy Garland.
Good call back.
We see everything ahead.
We're intuitive, Paul.
Oh, God.
Yes.
You were homesick or you decided this was enough glamour or enough I have to go back at some point?
It was either I stay here and try to become a French actor or go home.
And I didn't want to stay and become a French actor,
which means, I mean, I love the French actors.
But I...
You would have been a great Jean-Paul Belmondo.
Yes!
I see you starring in Breathless.
Yes!
I see you starring in Breathless.
Do you know I was in Chicago,
and I read a review by Pauline Kael of the New Yorker magazine about this movie called Breathless,
how you got to see it.
And so I got on a plane the night before our day off or night off,
and I flew into New York City just to go see Breathless.
So, yeah, I was still a great fan of that.
It all had that spontaneous look to it, didn't it?
Oh, yeah.
And I was always attracted to that.
When did you go back and get involved with Paul Sills
and what eventually would become Compass Players?
I came back somehow, and I was in Los Angeles,
and I get a letter from Paul Sills,
and he said, I've got this company called Second City,
and do you still do what you did as a kid at my mother's school?
Mm-hmm.
And I said, I think so, yeah.
And he said, I saw you.
Elaine May and I came out to the school,
and you were this little kid and we just wanted
to know if you could do it, still do it.
Wow.
And I said, I guess.
And then I got on a plane and went and I was the quiet one though for a year.
Oh, I have a little something to say.
By all means.
Yeah, now would be the perfect time
I haven't stopped talking since I sat down
No, go ahead, your turn, I'm sorry
No, tell us
No, I don't want to be too pushy
No, we like it
Okay, okay, okay
All you, buddy
Okay, what was I going to say?
Well, Elaine may have come and seen you.
So everybody was brilliant, and they were all from the University of Chicago
and great minds and very knowledgeable about what's happening
everywhere in the world at all times, and I wasn't.
So when we took suggestions of the audience, I always took the objects.
So when it was time to do the improvisations after the show,
I would take the objects and then make it around that,
whether it's a baseball or this or that.
Anyway, one night we were taking suggestions.
Oh, no.
So we used to go every morning at 11 o'clock,
Barbara Harris, Severn Darden. Brilliant, brilliant, no. So we used to go every morning at 11 o'clock. Barbara Harris, Severn Darden.
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.
Love Severn Darden.
Oh, my God.
Unbelievable.
And the three of us would get on the bus and go see the latest arty movie.
It would be like an Ingmar Bergman movie or an Italian wild movie or something.
Then we'd come back and we'd satirize them that night.
So anyway, that was our pattern for getting new material.
So we're on the bus going to the movies.
And there's a man sitting across from me on the bus reading How to Win Friends and Influence People.
It was very moving and really interesting that he didn't cover the book up with something.
You know what I mean?
I mean, I really thought, this is so courageous and sweet.
This is nice.
So anyway, that night at the theater, someone yells out, phonograph record.
And I flashed on that guy's book,
and I said, I'll take that one.
I'm going to be a guy that buys a record called
How to Win a Friend.
Ah, yes.
Which you did on the Carol Burnett Show all those years later.
Yes, did it forever.
Anyway, so my point is I could speak when I felt it was coming from me.
Back to that again.
It was something that moved me that I thought was very interesting.
Anyway, then I could not stop talking
because I got the courage to be myself
because people laughed.
So you were shy,
you were kind of a wallflower for the first year,
and then you gradually got your voice?
Instantly.
The minute I saw the guy reading the book.
How about that?
A turning point.
And that was the very, yeah, then I got it.
Oh, I get improvising now.
It's all, it's got to come from me, my point of view on a subject.
Am I being clear?
Yes, very.
Yeah.
On a subject.
Am I being clear?
Yes, very.
Yeah.
You know, now just a memory of mine.
When I was a kid living in Crown Heights, Brooklyn,
me and my two sisters, Arlene and Karen,
would go every night over to the Brooklyn Museum to watch them film the Hot Rock.
There you go.
Yeah, he was there.
That's amazing.
I was in the crowd watching.
I was in the crowd of people watching them film the hot rock.
Fascinating.
When there's the big car accident?
Yes, yes.
And I'm pretending to be a doctor.
I just
swallowed a diamond.
We would see them, the car, speed around.
They built an artificial front to the museum so the car would have something to speed away from.
And it would speed and, yeah, there'd be that car accident in the beginning.
Yeah.
Yes, exactly.
I remember that very well
also. It was very vivid.
I got it, I was, yeah,
I saw them doing it. Because I
remember they built like an artificial
front, so they'd have something
for the car to speed around.
Yeah, we had Ron Liebman here on the show
and we talked
about that scene. As long as you
jump to the hot rock, Gilbert, and I'll come back to Second City.
But, you know, we fly around here, Paul.
Watching last night, I went back and watched it again.
It's a favorite heist movie.
We just lost William Goldman, by the way, the writer of that screenplay.
A lot of fun.
A couple of months ago.
Just tell us about
whatever you remember
about Zero.
Who played your dad.
You were Greenberg.
No, I'm very,
thank you.
To catch our audience up.
The great Zero Mustel.
Yeah, you were,
Paul was Greenberg,
the explosives expert.
That's right.
And Zero was his double-crossing dad.
Yeah.
Well, okay, aside, and this is from all sincerity,
aside from being an extraordinary, amazing, magical kind of actor,
it would just get into it and not come out of it,
what was interesting,
we shared the car
on the way to location
all the time.
It would just be him and me
in the back seat
being driven around.
And he would talk about himself
as being a painter.
He never talked about himself
as being an actor.
Interesting.
Yeah, that's the thing
that comes to my mind.
Other than playing with him wonderfully and comfortably an actor. Interesting. Yeah, that's the thing that comes to my mind, other than
playing with him
wonderfully and comfortably
in front of the camera
and being awed by
watching him.
But that was the most outstanding thing.
And I heard he would
just go off on his own
tangents when he was acting.
Wonderful. Yeah, inspiring.
We had some people here
who did stage performances
with him who were,
you know,
an actor named Gino Conforti
who was in the original
Fiddler on the Roof
with Zero.
And some people said
he would just go off script
some nights.
He would just make
his own show up.
Yeah.
I can't wait to do that
on Broadway.
I'll do it.
I think it's just great.
And someone we're trying to get on this show, George Segal.
Yeah.
Another great.
How was he to work with?
What wonderful company you were in, Paul.
It was a very comfortable company.
Yeah.
I liked it. Yeah. It was a very comfortable company. Yeah, I liked it.
Yeah, it was, yeah.
Yes, it was very comfortable.
I don't remember any tension or throwing up or anything.
Very comfortable.
Yeah.
And Peter Yates gave you the part based on your Tony speech?
Wait a minute.
Is that true?
No, yes, yes, yes.
Yeah, I'm stunned at your research.
Oh, the internet's a wonderful tool, Paul.
It's amazing to me.
Well, we're fans.
We're lifelong fans of yours.
So some of this shit we know naturally,
and some of it we do, you know,
we go digging to fill in the gaps.
And sometimes we look something up on the internet and it's totally fucking wrong.
Right.
There's a lot of that too.
And then we're called out on it by our guests.
Yeah.
Well, some agent, I can't think of his name.
I really can't at the moment.
He was a really hot shot agent at ICM.
And he asked me out to lunch.
It was after I got the Tony, and he said,
if you leave your agent and come with us, ICM,
I can put you in this very interesting movie in a very interesting part.
Would you do it?
And I said, yes.
And I did.
And I went to meet Peter Yates.
And he said, I did not.
Yeah, just what you said.
I didn't see your play, but I liked your Tony Award acceptance speech,
and I want you for this part.
Wow.
And so then he did audition me, and I did, and I was good at it.
And then, yeah, that's it.
You're great in that picture.
And I always remember your line in it,
where Zero Mostel does something, you know, he's a really conniving guy.
Yeah.
He's a shyster lawyer.
And you have this line where you go,
mama's going to be really angry at you.
If you don't mind me sort of like straightening out that line a little.
Yeah, so they decide to like pretend, get the a key to a safe deposit box
they take uh zero up to this empty warehouse where i'm being held by this giant and they're
gonna throw me down the elevator shaft if uh if if we don't Zero doesn't give us the key.
So it was like we're all in cahoots,
and I'm pretending to be chased around and screaming,
no, no, let me alone, oh, my God.
And Zero says, you're kidding me.
You wouldn't throw him down.
And then Robert Redford says something like oh no okay so and so
and they threw me down the elevator shaft but it was only like a foot down on a mattress
but i screamed real loud like falling and Zero goes crazy, what have you done?
And then I say, I'm going to tell Mama on you, Daddy.
Perfect.
When you're hanging by the rope.
Yeah.
And then they cut to, I'm hanging by the rope. And then I also remember from watching that movie years ago,
Afghanistan Banana Stand.
Yep.
Wasn't that funny?
The word of hypnotism.
Yeah. All those great
actors. Moses Gunn, too.
Oh, he was great. Everybody.
And, oh,
and one of those things, of course
I'd remember this.
The music was
dun-dun-dun
dun-da-da-da-da-da-da-da dun-dun-dun The music was... The look on Paul's face right now.
I'm freaking out.
I'm freaking out.
It's like an acid flashback, isn't it, Paul?
I know that trick.
I don't know.
Did Yates let you, the master improviser, do any improvising
and playing around with that wonderful William Goldman script?
Well, you know what I think?
If there's wonderful lines to say, you're very comfortable with them and you don't feel the need to like...
Right.
It is flow right along audio.
Yeah, so that's...
No, I don't remember.
Because I'm thinking about you and Redford on the lake
in the first scene that the two of you have together,
and you're randomly flinging these explosives into the bushes,
and you're telling them that you studied at the Sarbonne.
Yeah.
No, that was all written.
All written.
Yeah.
When we were climbing over a wall, escaping,
or trying to escape into prison,
then we made
up some dialogue
on the way over
the wall
to have something
to say
such a wonderful
movie
and you
visually
you look different
in every single scene
isn't it strange
you've got the
you've got the
big fro
and the next time
we see you
your hair is slicked
back
I remember that
and he's wearing
he looks like
Secret Service
oh my god I remember the slicked back. I remember that. And he's wearing, he looks like Secret Service. Oh, my God.
I remember the slicked back hair.
Yeah.
A very mysterious, eccentric character.
Yeah.
Greenberg.
We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast.
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What happens when 20 extremely athletic Canadians
who thrive on competition
and won't settle for less than number one
find themselves on a team?
Taking on jaw-dropping obstacles all across Canada
is one thing.
Working together on a team
with some pretty big personalities is another.
It's a new season of Canada's Ultimate Challenge.
And sparks are going to fly.
New episode Sundays.
Watch free on CBC Gem.
But let me go back to Second City, because I want to ask, who was in the company then?
It wasn't Compass Players when you joined, right?
Because that was Shelly Berman.
That was the previous incarnation.
First, there was Playwrights.
And then there was the Compass.
And then there was Second City.
And when I arrived, there was Severed Darden, Barbara Harris, Eugene Trubnick, Andrew Duncan.
Right, great talents.
Howard Alk.
Sure.
He was one of the owners.
Was Libertini in there yet?
Oh, God, yes.
Uh-huh.
Yes.
Yeah.
And Melinda Dillon was his girlfriend,
and she was a coat check girl in the club.
And then she knew when Barbara Harris would have to go away,
then Melinda said one day, I know everything she's done.
Wow.
So she would be, she'd get up there and do all the songs
and all the sketches, yeah.
Yeah.
Melinda Dillon, who would go on to star with Richard Dreyfuss
in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
Yeah, and a lot of Christmas Story, a lot of great stories.
Right, Christmas Story with McGavin.
How can I forget that?
Yeah, flawless.
And what do you remember about your work, your early work with Alan Arkin?
You know, we didn't, we were in Young Actors Company together,
but we were just these
you know
little band of children
really
and
we would do plays
The Clown Who Ran Away
and Never on Sunday
or
no
Sunday Cost Five Pesos
all kinds
so we were just kids
and you know
nothing in particular
I didn't know
he was going to turn into alan orkin you
know we were just like children playing yeah really i just wanted to say about paul sills
and by the way did you that wonderful book called something wonderful right away did you give the
you give the author that title you know that too i read that book years ago. And by the way, more people should know who Paul Sills is.
He would really throw us to the ground if anybody tried to tell a joke.
He said, like literally hold you down on the ground and said,
you were telling a joke?
You're telling a joke?
And he says, no jokes are allowed, just humor.
You know what I'm saying mm-hmm
yet all these comedians came out of that came out of that school yeah how do you
square that up I think I don't know about everybody but you sort of find
your own again you find your own way around and and I guess if CBS says well
when I was doing that series for CBS,
the writers would have in the script, and I had the main role in the show,
and on the script it was typewritten, this is a joke, Paul.
They had to spell it out.
You know what I mean?
Because I don't recognize a bad joke when I see one.
Yeah.
But you're a naturally funny actor.
I mean, that's all.
They saw me just doing Broadway, not telling one joke,
and then they give me this contract and give me a script full of jokes
that I don't understand.
Interesting.
But that was then.
A lot of directors would go, well, like in Airplane was the perfect example.
They wanted actors so they wouldn't say stuff like jokes.
They wouldn't be funny.
Well, certainly in the case of Airplane, they were trying to do a straight-up parody,
and they thought comedians would ruin it, would call attention to the joke.
Yeah, comedians would just joke a joke.
Yeah, I don't know.
Well, there's satirists.
They used to call us satirists at Second City.
We'd make satire out of situations, movies and headlines.
Sure.
And, you know, it's interesting that you say you're taking improv classes
because we had on Bruce Stern who said he's always trying to be,
improve his performance and be a better actor.
Yeah.
So, like, it never stops with some people.
No.
No, I have a company now, even.
Tell us about the Santa Monica Theater Company.
Is that what you...
You just keep astonishing me.
Well, we put on shows, and they're wonderful,
and we've only done a few, but newspapers really like us
and
I've got some stuff I want to do
and we
raise money and then we get some
money and then we put on a show
like that. And so we have
some exciting stuff coming.
So that's it. We'll plug it again at the end because it's important. Okay, thank you. And getting back to the And so we have some exciting stuff coming. Good.
And that's it.
We'll plug it again at the end because it's important. Okay, thank you.
And getting back to the improv class,
it's like so you at no point ever like just take your shoes off,
sit back and go, okay, I know what I'm doing.
Oh, no, no.
I'm getting the feeling lately that I kind of know what I'm doing,
and that's why I was courageous enough to start the theater
and to direct actors.
And I really like, I love teaching,
and I love directing actors to aim where I think they will be most comfortable and thrilling to watch.
So, yeah, I could do that.
I know how now.
And that's really fun.
But there's still that part of you that says, I have to be better.
Oh, yeah.
You relate to that, Gilbert?
Not me.
I sucked in the beginning, and I still do.
Yeah, no, it's no.
And also, it's an interest in the subject.
It's fun to do.
And Aretha Sills knows everything Viola Spollet ever did,
backwards and forwards.
And so she's having us do some games now
that I never did as a child that she must have done later.
So it's all very exciting.
How did you working with Second City and all these people,
and throwing out other names, Bob Dishy, Ted Flicker?
I don't know if these were people that were in the company with you.
Your friend Valerie Harper?
Oh, yes.
She's my fairy godmother, this woman.
She's amazing.
A lovely person I've gotten to meet three times.
I'm so glad. Yeah, she's lovely. I adore her. She's amazing. A lovely person I've gotten to meet three times. I'm so glad.
Yeah, she's lovely.
I adore her.
She's amazing.
But how did you get from, we're trying to just do the chronology of this,
just to piece this together, Paul.
You're working out regularly with Second City now,
and how does it start to turn into a professional acting career?
Because I see you turn up in the TV show Bewitched in the 1960s.
You turn up.
Did you do a series with George C. Scott called East Side, West Side?
I didn't remember that until this minute.
How about that?
How about that?
So you're starting to get acting work.
Well, what happened was we went on the road.
We were just happy improvisers in Chicago.
And then magazines start coming and reviewing,
and then bring us to Los Angeles.
And we came to Los Angeles,
then we were all signed by William Morris Agency,
and then they were all set out for jobs.
So we started getting these odd little jobs
and then going back to the theater at night
and doing our show, which is the ideal at night and doing, you know, our show,
which is the ideal lifestyle for an actor, by the way,
to have a home base and then go out and, you know.
Because you started turning up on interesting things.
Gilbert, do you remember a show called
Mr. Broadway with Craig Stevens?
No.
Yeah.
No.
Occasional wife you were on.
No.
A sitcom.
Sort of. Bewitched? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So. Occasional wife you were on. No. A sitcom. Sort of.
Bewitched?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
So you started, and this is 64, 65, 66.
You did The Mad Show in 66 with Joanne Worley.
Oh, yeah.
And Linda Lavin.
And Linda Lavin and Libertini.
Yeah.
And, oh, I can't.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So you're turning into a professional now.
It's not just classes and workshops,
and now you're getting TV work,
and you're on Broadway with a mad show, off-Broadway.
Yeah, but my first job was being Judy Garland's partner.
That was pretty professional.
Okay, so that happened first. That was the first job was being Judy Garland's partner. That was pretty professional. Okay, so that happened first.
That was the first job, yeah.
But, yeah, I see what you—
Yeah, we're starting to get noticed and asked.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're all getting kind of hot, you know.
And you worked with the great Jack Guilford.
Yes.
He played my father.
Yes.
Yes.
And what was he like to her?
Blacklisted like Zero was.
Yeah.
It sounds funny to say a very sweet man,
but he really was gentle and kind.
And, you know, by that time,
they've been through some pretty rough times,
that generation.
Sure.
And his wife was on on set and she would knit
and bring him lunch and he didn't chat but he was not cold but friendly yeah i gotta talk about
paul sand in friends and lovers and i love that i always loved that the title had your name above the name of the show.
Paul Sand in Friends and Lovers.
And I tell you, it's a show that a lot of people have a fondness for. Fred Silverman asked Brooks and Burns at MTM to create a vehicle for you?
I didn't know that.
Because you had done a Mary Tyler Moore episode, a memorable one,
where you played her.
You played an IRS agent,
which I watched again.
It's on YouTube,
and it's charming,
and I could see what they saw in you, Paul.
Huh.
Yeah.
But what was the question?
Well, I was trying to figure out how that show came about.
By the way, Steve Landisberg was also on that show, Gilbert, a favorite of ours.
Oh, yes.
Remember him?
Yeah, absolutely.
And an early role for Penny Marshall.
Yeah, yeah.
So they surrounded you with good people.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I did The Taxman on—
The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
Yeah, I can't forget the name of the thing, but her show.
And then
we were doing the tag,
shooting the tag at the end of the show.
And she said, why don't you
stay on the show and be a regular?
And
I said, but I'm on
my way to Broadway. We're going to open a show.
And she was like, well, don't you want to do a series? Have a good part of a series? I said, but I'm on my way to Broadway. We're going to open a show. She was like, well, don't you want to do a series,
have a good part in a series?
I said, well, I can't just not show up.
You were going to do story theater?
Yeah, I'm going to do story theater.
Right.
So then I went away and did that for a long time
and came back and got a little place to live in Malibu, in a real junky part of Malibu.
And I was on the beach with all these, my dog friends.
All the dogs on the beach were my friends.
Uh-huh.
Anyway, we were all wet one afternoon sitting there staring at the ocean.
And Mary Tyler Moore walks by
and Jim Brooks. Wow. And I don't know, the head of the world walked by like accidentally
and said to you, you know, hi, oh Paul, hi. How do you feel about doing a TV show?
you know, hi, oh, Paul, hi.
How do you feel about doing a TV show?
And I was all worn out from doing Broadway for a year and a half. And I said, yeah, but I don't want to be a doctor or a cop or I don't know.
They said, well, we'll call you.
Come and visit us.
And anyway, they came up with this concept of being a musician.
In the Boston Symphony, yeah.
Yeah, and do you the Boston Symphony. Yeah.
Do you have a brother?
Yeah. So they put a brother in and tried to make me feel at home,
I guess.
It was a weird experience.
You weren't cut out for it.
You weren't cut out for a weekly series.
Not that one.
I see.
Okay.
I still remember the TV guide cover.
That was a little difficult.
I think Alan Burns, one of the creators of the show, was interviewed about it later in life.
And he admitted that they were overextended.
He used big words like that all the time you know whatever i don't know but
they didn't expect it to be bought i think i see yeah they didn't expect it to and then there they
were and they they weren't writing on it at all and they were telling the network that they were
and i had this people writing it and it and nothing made sense to me.
Sure.
At table readings,
I didn't know what the script is about.
Right.
Yeah.
What's wrong?
No, nothing.
So they felt like unprepared.
Like they just felt it was an idea for a show and they weren't ready when it went on.
No, I don't know what went on in their heads or in their conversations, but I kind of wanted to bring all the people that I've worked with with Second City to the set
and be the writers and start all over again.
People you were comfortable with.
Yeah, but I didn't know at the time, like, say, pardon the expression,
the power I had at the time.
So I probably could have talked Grant Tinker into bringing some of my people with me, you know?
Right.
Right, right, right, right.
And what was Mary Tyler Moore like to work with?
Oh, the word adorable just comes to me.
Wow. Real smart.
A great survivor.
I liked her.
I liked her.
She was... I could see why they said stick around because you guys...
And obviously she was supposed to be playing a woman who was single,
who was struggling to find a love life.
I mean, it would have thrown the show, the balance of the show off.
But you two were so charming together that I could understand what they saw.
Yeah.
I urge our listeners to find that episode.
You're just charming in it.
Oh, thank you.
And quirky.
Anybody ever tell you, I know Harpo Marx didn't speak, but did anybody ever tell you how to kind of a Harpo Marx quality?
Yeah.
In your performing, Paul?
Yeah, but I hadn't, I don't know.
You don't see it.
Oh, no, it's not that.
I don't stop to think of it.
You know what I mean?
Okay, he's wonderful to watch.
I remember watching him as a kid forever
play the
harp and
suddenly become not funny
and dead serious. He's beautiful.
You know what I'm...
Do you see it, Gilbert? Yeah.
There's a childlike quality in your
performances that sometimes reminds
me.
Well, that's a, yeah.
I'm flattered.
I met him too.
Did you?
Yeah.
When I was traveling with Marceau
in America,
then he was invited everywhere.
I went to meet Stan Laurel.
Wow.
Tell us about that.
Went to his house.
Wait, I'm going to drop
a couple more names.
Go ahead.
Yeah. Salvador D ahead. Yeah.
Salvador Dali?
Wow.
Keep them coming, Paul.
Yeah.
But yeah, some very fascinating people.
Well, Laurel was living in Santa Monica forever there.
Yes, right on Ocean Avenue.
They always talk about he had his name in the book.
Wait, who had, who's his name?
Stan Lawrence.
His name was in the phone book.
Dick Van Dyke and Chuck McCann and a whole bunch of people we had here on this show went and found Stan in the phone book.
Oh, I see what you mean.
Yes.
Yeah.
How did you find him?
And I mean that, how did you find him?
I just, I went, oh, how did I, he impressed me?
Yeah. I mean, how did you find the man to be as well as how did you find him? And I mean that, how did you find him? I just, I went, oh, how did I, he impressed me? Yeah, I mean, how did you find the man to be as well as how did you find him?
You know, it's so interesting because it's all, it's, these are all gentle people you're talking about.
There was nobody, nobody freaking out, you know.
Cesar was a little freaking out.
These people you're mentioning were very gentle people, talented, and yeah.
Did you have much interaction with Harpo?
God, I was so pushy.
I said, he showed us the wig, his wig.
Uh-huh.
And I said, can I try it on?
Wow.
And he puts it on my head.
It's nice.
And that was aggressive of me, but it was, I liked it.
He didn't seem to mind.
No, he was nice.
How about that?
Yeah. And it is funny how it was amazing with Harpo
that he would go from funny and crazy
to like totally serious and touching in the movies.
When he'd play the harp.
Yeah.
He'd transport himself.
Yeah.
But tell us about Sid Caesar.
He supports himself, yeah.
But tell us about Sid Caesar.
He asked a few of us, I think, from Second City to be on a show.
And then he told me to come to Las Vegas to see him in a show.
And he puts me at a table ringside right next to him practically and I'd been working for like five years with comedy people and and I didn't laugh I didn't laugh at the at what he was doing you
know when I had a so and then afterwards he, you didn't laugh at anything I did.
I don't know how I got out of it, but it was, it was not unhappy,
but it was, it was not, not a,
not a kind of person that's comfortable for me to be around anyway.
Interesting. Interesting.
But I loved the show of shows.
Sure.
My God. Sure, sure. Yeah. Interesting. But I loved the show of shows. Sure. My God.
Sure, sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you stay in touch with, over the years,
with any of those Second City people, Paul?
Did you stay in touch with Severn or Libertini or?
Yep.
Barbara Harris, we just lost, of course.
Yeah, always.
Yeah, Barbara moved to Scottsdale, Arizona,
and we talked on the phone a lot.
What a talent.
Oh, my God, yeah, yeah.
She had a rather short career, all things considered.
Intense, very intense.
Yeah, she did a lot.
She didn't want to do a lot, so she would quit and go home.
So definitely her own person, you know.
We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast after this.
Can we ask, can we throw a couple of other names at you before we let you go?
Yeah, try it.
We know you've got stuff to do.
Here's some names.
You made a movie with Burgess Meredith,
one of Gilbert's favorites.
Yeah.
Called The Bank Hoax, The Great Bank Hoax.
Yes, The Great...
The Great...
The Great Bank Hoax.
The Great Bank Hoax.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was nice.
Richard Basehart.
Richard Basehart, who was an idol of mine as a kid.
How about that?
I mean, as a kid, but I mean, like La Strada and all that.
Sure, yeah.
So, yeah, that's what I was with CAA, and they would just put you in the movies, you know.
Right.
And you work with Jonathan Winters.
You were in Fever Max in a small part.
Yes. This is park. Yes.
This is astonishing.
Yes.
I confess you got me.
We had John Astin here who's also in that movie.
What?
We had him here a couple of weeks ago.
Who?
John Astin.
Oh, really?
Also in Viva Max as was Winters and Peter Ustinov and Gino Conforti.
Ah, exactly. Oh, well, thereino Conforti. Ah, exactly.
Oh, well, there, yeah.
But that's why, what?
With Jonathan Winters,
he's another one I heard
couldn't really stick to a script.
He would just go nutty.
I didn't notice.
I had the smallest part ever.
I answered a gate.
I just said, what's the password?
But they, anyway, they weren't allowed to shoot inside of the Alamo
or outside the Alamo, inside the Alamo.
So they brought us all to Rome.
And they built the interior of the Alamo. So they brought us all to Rome. How about that?
They built the interior of the Alamo,
and that was a whole other adventure in Rome, yeah.
How about making the main event with Barbara and John Peters and Ryan O'Neill,
which you're fun in?
Was that CAA throwing you into another movie?
That was ICM.
I see.
That was Arnold Stief.
You moved around, Paul.
Well, the agencies get tired of you.
Yeah, I've been there.
They answer the phone.
I can relate.
They forget who you are.
They forget.
Like Judy Garland.
It's incredible. Yeah. It's incredible.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you have to keep hustling or to say yes to the next person that offers you.
Yeah.
But you like working with Streisand?
I did.
Yeah.
I did.
All she is, to me, is a perfectionist.
What's so bad about that?
But people seem to resent, yeah, it's very weird.
I even, she asked me to put a quote in her book,
and I said, your success and career remind me of what they did
to the most beautiful and talented people in the ancient days.
They would throw them down volcanoes because they couldn't stand to look at them.
So it was, I feel that she had a lot of envy and jealousy coming her way.
Interesting.
And she tried very hard to get it right.
You can't knock that, you know.
She did cut my best scene out of a movie.
Not that movie?
A different movie?
No, that one.
Oh, that movie.
Yeah, both she and Robert Redford sort of cut me out of the best scene.
God damn it.
Do you, this is some fun stuff I found doing research, Paul.
Back to the Mad Show.
Did you know that the Mad Show had a softball team that played in Central Park?
No.
And I don't think anybody that was in the show was on the softball team.
But there's a picture online, I'll send it to you,
of all of these ballplayers in the show. It was on the softball team. But there's a picture online. I'll send it to you.
Of all of these ballplayers in the park.
And they're all wearing Mad Show logos on their baseball uniforms.
Patty Chayefsky, Jason Robards, Alan King, George C. Scott, Tom Wolfe, and Woody Allen.
Isn't that bizarro?
Wow.
I'm so impressed. And you weren't invited to play.
No. No. Yeah. And you weren't invited to play? No.
No.
Yeah.
And you worked with Arthur Godfrey.
Do you have any memory of that?
He was in the Bangkok's.
Oh, I don't remember.
Isn't that weird?
It's okay.
It's okay.
He hated the Jews.
Did he?
According to Gilbert.
Arthur Godfrey, famous Jew hater.
Yeah.
I don't remember.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What about...
This was a fun...
By the way, did Sondheim do some ghostwriting on The Mad Show?
Do you know about that?
No.
Stephen Sondheim?
Oh, that way, yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't, yeah.
Yeah, he wrote a couple of songs.
The Boy From Ipanema.
You bet.
The Boy From, it was called.
The Boy From Ipanema.
Yeah.
That Linda Lavin sang.
Yep.
And Mary Rogers wrote the lyrics, I think.
That's right.
That's right.
Yeah.
I had the Mad Show album.
I was too young to see the show.
Yeah.
That was nice.
They were very nice.
And again, really, pardon me, very comfortable people.
Hard workers.
Look back at it.
It's sort of a precursor to Rowan and Martin's laughing in many
ways. Yes, you're right.
Yeah. Joanne Worley was in the
New York cast. I think Alan Suess
was in an LA version. He
was also in the New York cast.
Was he? Yeah. Another talented
guy. Very, yeah.
Yeah. We loved him.
Tell us about Carol Burnett. You did
some memorable Carol Burnett shows.
And the sketches are, by the way, all on YouTube with you playing the jealous dad,
the one where you're on the honeymooners on the drive.
And there's that solo piece.
There's the how to win a friend.
Yeah.
She was the closest thing to the joy that I had working with Second City.
Oh.
She was so open and loving and spontaneous and a wonderful performer.
She was just great to work with.
It was like working with Barbara Harris or, you Harris. It was just like being in a company.
I didn't feel like we were in some TV hit.
She was supportive of other performers, would help you shine.
Amazing.
Did you work with Harvey Korman?
No, I don't think he liked me very much.
I had the definite feeling.
Really? Yeah, like, what think he liked me very much. I had the definite feeling. Really?
Yeah, like, what's he doing here?
Because I notice all your scenes are with Carol.
Yeah.
And not the other players.
No.
Yeah.
Although he is in an episode with Steve Lawrence, Gilbert.
Oh.
I think so, like a gangster.
Yeah.
I play Mad Dog, I think.
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.
Paul, tell us about the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode,
which you brought up in the first 30 seconds
and is so memorable.
Yes.
And possibly my favorite episode in the run.
Well, I can say anything on a podcast, can't I?
Yes, you can.
It's a wild west, buddy.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, I got a call to come and audition.
It is improvised, but they gave me a little piece of paper that said what I was.
You're a French chef with Tourette's syndrome, and you hate salmon.
And so then they give everybody else a little piece of paper.
You own a restaurant.
You're trying to find a chef to hire, et cetera, et cetera.
So we just started improvising, and I played the French chef.
I don't like this shift I don't like
this salmon and I'm going to go
now go fuck yourself motherfucker
and I left the room
and I got out of my car
and I went home
and then my phone rings and says
where'd you go
and I said well I don't know
I just left and they said
well you know, come back
and let's do the show.
Let's do it together.
And so we were shooting it and there was this wonderful,
beautiful girl in braids and short, short Levi's
and she was pulling cables around and I said hey I need some
really dirty words fast
that I gotta say
and she just
says
and she just says
cocksuck a motherfucker asshole
cocksuck a motherfucker asshole
so then I had to
then I said it right on
the air
and you know
and did it
it's great
that was part of
the dialogue
I threw it in
it's great
she gave them to me
yeah
that's wonderful
not that I needed them
I mean
but she seemed like
the right person
to ask
that's
that's considered
a classic episode
and a classic moment
it was in fact it was a season finale yeah episode I think it was it was to ask. That's considered a classic episode and a classic moment. In fact,
it was a season finale
episode.
I think it was.
It was good.
I had a great time.
And it's fun
that when you look
at that group of people
that there are
a couple of
ex-Compass people
in the scene with you
as Paul Dooley
playing Larry's
father-in-law
and Shelly Berman's
in there.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. A lot of Berman's in there. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
A lot of people.
Michael York.
Michael York.
That's right.
He's the restaurant.
He's the partner.
Yeah.
We were sitting out in the sun
and he was having a cigarette, I think.
And we were sitting on a curb next to each other.
And I said to him,
what did it feel like having the whole world
want to go to bed with you?
And he said, they did?
Wow.
Where are they now?
That's great.
And did you know Shelly Berman?
No, no.
Met him once, I think.
Yeah.
I just got a question from a listener for you, Paul.
From Leslie Friedman.
She's a fan, and she wants to know,
did you do any studying or training to play Rabbi Polonsky on Joan of Arcadia?
No studying, just, no.
Is she a, well, I'm an actor.
I pretended.
No, no studying, but yeah.
Gilbert and I.
The scripts were good.
The scripts were good.
Gilbert and I dug up something last night, another curio.
You and Dean Jones playing the Brothers Grimm in a variety special.
Very peculiar.
Incredible.
Everybody's in that with you.
Yeah.
Terry Garr.
Artie Johnson.
Artie Johnson.
Ruth Buzzy.
Who else, Gil?
Cleavon Little.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
Edie McClurg.
Everybody.
Yeah.
What do you remember about making that?
And you're singing and you're dancing.
And singing.
I know.
I know.
I remember he and I would ride around in carriages all the time.
Yep.
And we'd shoot all night.
I remember that.
I remember Terry Garr.
Everybody was sleepy all the time because no one slept.
I can't tell you that I remember a whole lot about it.
But the guy that choreographed it is Paul Godkin,
and he was in my life earlier.
He did the Judy Garland thing.
There you go.
Then I go, and then I earned some money before I went to France
being on a television show that he choreographed.
So he was, yeah, he was, it was seeing, bumping into the same people.
It's really nice.
I think it's great that Paul Sand has to run off to do an improv class.
Yes.
Amazing.
Because it's perfectly fitting.
But before we let you out, do you care to comment on either Holy Moses or Can't Stop the
Music? And we'll understand if you want to take the headphones off and just walk. No, Holy Moses
was like the best time. I had never had really a lot of experience in the movies, but that was the
best time. The director, do you know who the director was? Yeah, Gary Weiss.
Who would come
from Saturday Night Live.
So brilliant.
He would,
I played an angel
with a sex addict.
Yep.
Angel and an alcoholic.
And I had,
I don't remember,
I had a monologue
or something
sitting on a rock
talking about
how tough life was or being an angel was.
And he got, he laid down underneath the camera.
And so his head was right underneath the lens.
And he laughed so hard, so silently.
And it was so encouraging that there was just no stopping.
You know what I mean?
Mm-hmm.
He was so encouraging and so loving to us.
Yeah, that was wonderful.
And then—
Good people in that movie.
Richard Pryor, obviously.
Yeah.
And Dudley Moore.
Yeah.
And then Can't Stop the Music, you were playing basically a record executive i was sort
of playing arnold stiefel an agent okay but i was sort of alan carr said use arnold stiefel as
a role model for you so yeah that was yeah that was one of the things where I said,
I don't like the dialogue.
Can I change the dialogue?
And Alan Carr said, yeah.
And I said, I have a writer and she can help me.
She writes movies.
And he said, well, I can't give her any money,
but I can give her a fur coat or a new car.
Fantastic.
So I asked her which one she wants.
Oh, fantastic.
And she was a wonderful, smart, kind of a mannish woman,
and she said, I don't want a fur coat.
So she needed a new car, and I got her a, that was, yeah.
So that was.
That's a wild movie.
That's insane. I mean, yeah.
I mean, a real golden turkey,
but there's some fun things in it.
Yeah.
I sort of remember.
Yeah, I remember the...
Yeah.
They put us up at the Plaza Hotel.
Nancy Walker directed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you have fun making it at least?
I can't say no.
Last question.
Yes, sir.
Do you remember anything about working with George Carlin and Blake Edwards?
No.
Did I?
Yes.
And a pilot called Justin Case.
Oh, I didn't even.
Yes.
How do you like that?
I remember doing the pilot.
Didn't stick with you?
No.
Isn't it interesting in an actor's career that you have so many, you know, it's work.
It's just another job.
Yeah.
It is weird.
Sometimes if I look at IMDb, I don't think I did some of these things.
Yeah.
Are you in touch with Valerie still?
Yes.
How's she doing?
And her husband, by the way, Richard Shaw, another funny guy.
Yes.
Yeah, her ex-husband.
Her ex-husband.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's remarried to a wonderful Tony, and they live in Santa Monica.
We talk on the phone once in a while.
It's very nice.
We should have her on this.
Pardon me?
I said Gilbert and I should have her on this show, Valerie.
She's a great talker, and she's done everything.
She, oh, do.
She's got a lot to say. And she's amazing.
She helped me so much.
In certain moments.
Yeah.
So tell us about the Santa Monica Theater.
I know you did a Kurt Weill piece not long ago.
Yes.
And it's still going strong.
The theater still
has its heart and we're still
I'm finishing writing a play.
Okay.
And we want to do that, and I want to do other—
there's other plays I want to do, and I have a—
I don't have a company, but I have some favorite actors.
There's the Shea Star.
She's brilliant.
Saul Mason, he's a great actor from Australia.
So I have some favorite ones, and we'll all just keep working together.
So we'll tell our L.A. peeps to come see you.
Yes, yes.
And the name of the space again is the Santa Monica?
The Public Theater, yeah.
We need to raise a lot of money so you can tell people.
Absolutely.
You were born there in Santa Monica, lived above the carousel at one point,
and you're still there.
I don't live there.
I live up down the beach, yes.
Down the beach.
But you're still where you started.
There's something nice about that.
Yeah, I learned how to walk on the pier, yeah. As a baby.
That's great.
Will you write a book, Paul?
Will you write a memoir?
Funny you should mention that.
I'm taking writing, memoir writing class,
and this interesting woman, Jill Robinson,
Jill Sherry Robinson, she's the daughter of Dory Sherry.
Dory Sherry, sure.
Yes.
And she's encouraging me to write my memoirs.
So I am doing that.
I think you should.
Yeah, I think there are sort of, yeah, I am more or less.
What was an evening with Paul Sand, which you did last year?
Was it just you telling stories?
In Arkansasansas how do
you know about that it's on the web no it's a university thing i have a friend who taught film
yeah and that university and would i come and talk is that the kind of thing that maybe you
would tour with develop it and and uh you know what i'm thinking around the country remember it was a spalding gray he used to read it yeah i i can think i have fun reading my memoir stories
so that could might be interesting you know but anyway there's uh yeah you have stories to tell
we appreciate you coming and doing this. I'm stunned.
I'm sorry. I was going to say schlepping
all the way from Santa Monica to Hollywood
and you sat in traffic for a long time
and we appreciate that.
But class is not very far away, so
we're going to class now.
And Gilbert's going to a comedy class
right after this, right?
He's going to a stand-up class.
I love you. Every time I see you,
I love watching you.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, I always...
You're one of those people
where you just stop and watch.
Yeah, it's...
Yeah.
We don't take you casually.
Oh, thank you, Paul.
That's a nice compliment.
Wow.
Truth is a truth. Yeah, he does command attention, doesn't he? It's wonderful, Paul. That's a nice compliment. Wow. Truth is a truth.
Yeah, he does command attention, doesn't he?
It's wonderful, yeah.
And he has one of the most distinct voices in all of show business.
That's true, but we can sort of see you thinking,
and it's wonderful to watch you think.
Yeah.
Like right now, you're thinking, it's wonderful.
Paul, you ever this way?
You ever in New York?
No, but I want to do my show in writing on Broadway.
Okay.
Let us know and we'll take you to lunch.
Okay.
Well, if you hear us coming, then drop by.
Gilbert's wishing you had started the show with a compliment.
What? Gilbert's wishing you had started the show with a compliment what?
I said Gilbert's wishing you started the show by complimenting him but he'll take it here
and to think
that going back
that flashback of me and my sisters
when we were kids
watching them film the hot rock
and then hearing a wonderful compliment
from you.
Oh, well, yeah.
Well, we could go on and on, but it's really been a real pleasure meeting the two of you.
Thanks for doing this.
We'll tell our listeners to rent the Hot Rock or watch the Hot Rock if they haven't.
And anything to plug.
Anything to plug.
Plug the theater. Yes, yes to plug. Plug the theater.
Yes, yes, yes.
Support the theater.
We'll put it up on social media,
and we'll let you know when this goes up on the internet, Paul.
Great.
Thanks so much, you guys.
We thank you.
This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast
with my co-host, Frank Santopadanto padre and we've been talking to the great
paul sand thank you paul thank you very much bye okay bye
i push out of the way it's a a world, world, world, world, mad
And the frambles we can burn to dredge
But we won't give Tristan to anyone strange
Cause we don't remand that
The figure-losing scanty boozle at you is on pro-plan
And it's time we put slander in hand
While the answer's simply for slap
It's two rows for Shrending.
Hurl is mad.
It's a world, world, world, world match.
What?
And the framp was recambered to branch.
What did you say?
But we won't give drist into anyone's trench.
Wait a minute!
Just you sing it.
But we won't give drist into anyone's trench.
That's what I taught. Cause we won't give this to anyone's ranch. That's what I taught.
Because we don't rent ranch.
Ranch?
Oh, take your loosey-scanty.
That's no word.
What kind of word is that?
Hey, stupid.
And it's time we were
slandered with hands.
Stupid word.
Well, the answer's
simply for slam.
People are so stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's stupid. It's stupid. It's out of here. Get out of my way.
Come on, let's go.
I'm going to push you again.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
I'm going to push you again.
Come on.
Let's go.
No, no, lady.
Thank you.
No, no, lady.
You're my mother.
All right.
All right.
Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast is produced by Dara Gottfried and Frank Santapadre
with audio production by Frank Fertorosa.
Web and social media is handled by Mike McPadden,
Greg Pair, and John Bradley-Seals.
Special audio contributions by John Beach.
Special thanks to John Fodiatis, John Murray, and Paul Rayburn.