Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Classic: Robert Wagner
Episode Date: February 10, 2022In celebration of his 92nd birthday, Gilbert and Frank revisit this 2019 interview with screen legend Robert Wagner, who talks about his years as a 20th Century Fox contract player, shares his memorie...s of making the films "Harper," "The Pink Panther" and "The Towering Inferno" and looks back on his decades-long friendships with Cary Grant, Paul Newman, Frank Sinatra, Elizabeth Taylor and Spencer Tracy. Also, Fred Astaire lays on the charm, Dean Martin drops by the set, David Niven comes in from the cold and Robert guest-stars in a memorable "Seinfeld" episode. PLUS: Lionel Stander! "It Takes a Thief"! In praise of Robert Osborne! The comic genius of Blake Edwards! And Robert pays tribute to Hollywood's greatest character actresses! (Special thanks to Lex Passaris and Jeannie Sloan!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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TV comics, movie stars, hit singles and some toys.
Trivia and dirty jokes, an evening with the boys.
Once is never good enough
For something so fantastic
So here's another Gilbert and Franks
Here's another Gilbert and Franks
Here's another Gilbert and Franks
Colossal classic.
Wherever you go
Whatever you do i will be right here waiting for you
whatever it takes or how my heart breaks i will be right here waiting for you
hey this is Richard Marks.
Gilbert calls me Dick. And you're listening to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. I love you. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast
with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and our engineer, Frank Verderosa.
Well, Frank and I have done over 250 of these interviews now, and every once in a while,
we somehow manage to snag a guest
even we can't believe we hooked.
Tonight's guest certainly fits that category.
He's a producer, New York Times bestselling author, and one of the most admired and popular
actors of the last seven decades, appearing in classic films such as the original Titanic,
A Kiss Before Dying, The Longest Day,
The Pink Panther, Harper, The Towering Inferno,
Midway, Wild Things, Crazy in Alabama,
The Curse of the Pink Panther,
and in the Austin Powers series as Dr. Evil's
long-suffering associate number two. He also made dozens of TV appearances on hit shows such as
Laugh-In, Seinfeld, The Simpsons, Boston Legal, Futurama, Two and a Half Men, and his own memorable series,
It Takes a Thief, Switch, and of course, Heart to Heart.
In a long and very distinguished career, he's worked with and played with virtually every Hollywood icon you can name, including Spencer Tracy, Robert Mitchum, James Cagney, David Niven, Elizabeth Taylor, Cary Grant, Paul Newman, Marilyn Monroe, Betty Davis, Peter Sellers, Frank Sinatra, and Sir Lawrence Olivier, just to name a few.
A few.
His three best-selling books are Pieces of My Heart, You Must Remember This,
and I Loved Her in the Movies, Memories of Hollywood's Legendary Actresses,
and Old Three are essential reading for our fellow showbiz historians.
Frank and I are thrilled to welcome to the podcast a genuine matinee idol and a screen
legend and a man who says that the wig he wore in Prince Valiant made him look like silent film star Louise Brooks.
The legendary Robert Wagner.
Oh, thank you for that introduction. That was great.
That was great. Thank you so much.
I promised it would be lengthy, Robert.
Now, there's only one thing in that introduction.
I didn't ever work with Cary Grant.
Well, we said worked with and played with.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, good.
Because I knew him and he was a very-
Uh-oh, don't tell me you froze.
Oh, fuck.
There we go.
Hey, we're back.
Oh, sorry, technical.
Sorry about that, Robert.
The last words I heard from Love you for that, Gilbert.
I knew exactly what you felt.
Let's try this again.
Are we back up, Frank?
Okay, what we were saying with...
Hey, Gilbert, that was wonderful.
I love that, Gilbert.
That was great.
What did you love
the old fuck
so so we were talking about kerry grant yes sir yeah you didn't work with him but you were friends
nope yes and i and i I really liked him so much.
He was such a wonderful man to me.
And, you know, like every young actor in that period, they all wanted to be Cary Grant.
And I was one of them, I can tell you.
He was a very special, wonderful, wonderful man.
I love that story from the book, from Pieces of My Life, where you were on the set watching him work, and he was well into his 50s at that point. Oh, yes. And he told you he had just
learned something for the first time. Yeah, well, he was doing that picture with Deborah Carr, you
know, the affair? Yeah. I believe that was... Affair to remember. It's been made two or three times.
And I want to ask you something about that introduction in a minute, too.
And I want to ask you something about that introduction in a minute, too.
He was doing the affair with Deborah Carr.
And I was there watching him.
I was on the set that day.
And I was watching him.
And he came over to me and he said, geez, I really learned something today.
And I said, really?
And he said, yeah.
He said, I learned how to breathe in a scene. And I thought about that,
and it's true. Sometimes you're holding your breath, waiting for the next line, or you said your lines. And breathing is a normal thing to do, and we do it all the time. But
sometimes, at least for me as an actor, I wound up holding my breath.
It's amazing that he could learn something that late in his career.
Yeah.
Well, he was such a courageous actor and so adventurous.
And his range was incredible when you think about it.
It was really, really something. You said in the introduction, by the way,
that I was in the original Titanic.
Oh, well, but I didn't want to say Titanic
and confuse our audience into thinking
that you were in James Cameron's Titanic.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I wish I had been in that.
That would have been a wonderful trip.
That would have been great.
I like yours better.
Well, you know, we made that in 52 or 53.
I guess you guys have got all the numbers there.
But, you know, I thought there was a – wasn't there another Titanic that was made before we made ours?
There's a British one made with David McCallum.
A Night to Remember is one of them.
British cast, yeah.
Yeah, Kenneth Moore, the British actor, and David McCallum.
But I think that was after you guys.
David McCallum was in that?
Yeah.
I was in the 1952.
Yeah, yours was first.
Really?
And was Clifton Webb, he was in the version you were in?
Yeah, with Robert Stanwyck.
Yes. Well, I was in the version you were in? Yeah, with Barbara Stanwyck. Yes.
Well, I was in the version that he was in, actually.
It was Clifton Webb and Barbara Stanwyck,
Bryna Hearn.
Oh, he had a wonderful cast.
Richard Basler.
Oh, I love him.
Thelma Ritter.
Yeah, there were some really wonderful actors in that.
And it was a great break for me.
It was a wonderful, wonderful time in my life.
And I have to get it out of the way.
Can I call you RJ?
Yes, please.
After that introduction, you can call me anything.
There you go, Gil.
You've made it.
When someone asks me what I did last night, I'll go,
RJ stopped
over. We played tennis.
Now, you
knew,
well, you knew, you were in
the studio system.
Tell us what the studio system
was. Well,
at that time, the studio system
was
there were all the studios, MGM, Columbia,
Warner Brothers, Fox, they all had contract players. That meant that in order to become
a contract player, you went, you did an audition. If they thought you had a potential, they would test you,
they'd look at the test, and then they'd sign you,
and you'd be under contract to the studio.
So that was how it worked in that time.
When I started, I was 18, and I made the rounds,
and went to all of the studios,
and did the readings and all of that.
And there was this marvelous dramatic coach who I am so indebted to by the name of Helena Sorrell who said,
I think he has something and I'd like to test him.
And they tested me and Zanuck, Daryl Zanuck saw the test
and he said, I don't know.
And she said, well, run it once more and just look at his smile.
She said, I think he's got something.
I really do.
And as a result of that, they signed me to a six-month contract at $75 a week.
And I was under contract at 20th Century Fox.
And I was there for 12 years.
And it was the most marvelous time for me and for my career. And
I'm totally grateful for that and will always be. And that's how I got started.
It must break your heart to see what just happened with Fox
and the dissolution of the studio.
Isn't that incredible? What was it? 71 billion?
Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's amazing, isn't it?
That the distribution and the, I mean, it's a tremendous company.
I mean, it's great, but it's quite different from when I started, you know.
I just don't think anybody would have ever believed that it came to that.
I just don't think anybody would have ever believed that it came to that.
Yeah, when you started, you were in that group of what were called the young pretty boys stars.
And who were some of the other young pretty boys?
Well, there was Rock Hudson, Tab Hunter, Tony Curtis.
We were the four that kind of captured that 50s Bobby Sox idols of the fan magazines and all of that.
There's that great picture in your book of you guys on that ladder,
you and Rock Hudson and Tony Curtis.
Isn't that wonderful?
Yeah, I was just showing Gilbert.
He knew the picture before I even showed it to him in the book.
Isn't that a wonderful shot?
You know, we took that over next to a soundstage.
I think we took it at Columbia, as I remember.
And I don't know where Tab was.
I think he was shooting.
But it was supposed to be the four of us.
And it was for Life Magazine.
Great shot, huh?
Oh, it's just classic.
And you guys had a lifelong friendship, you and Tony.
Yes, we did.
We had our ups and downs, but we had a lifelong friendship.
And I knew Rock very well, too.
And, of course, Tab.
Tab was a wonderful young man.
He was really great.
I liked him a lot.
Yeah, he was somebody we wished we'd gotten on this show.
Yeah, that would have been nice.
him a lot. Yeah, he was somebody we wish we'd gotten on this show. Yeah, that would have been nice, you know. It was, I mean, we all shared a period, you know, that period of time coming up
in the 50s and the late 40s. Sure. That was a quite an interesting time, and so we remained
friends through all of that, and they all have pieces of my heart, believe me. And Rock Hudson, tell us about him.
Well, he was a very big star.
I mean, he was, I think, the number one guy of all of us that were starting at that time.
Tony was very big, too.
But Rock really hit pretty well, you know.
And he made a lot of good pictures.
I mean, he was in some pretty good films.
Yeah, I love that you and Tony were forever bonded by the, you guys would tease each other.
He'd tease you about Prince Valiant, and you'd tease him about, what was it, Black
Shield of Falworth?
You had this ongoing thing, you'd call each other up and address each other that way?
Yeah, we did.
We did that.
I'd call up and say, hello, this is the prince.
And he'd know immediately that it was me.
And, you know, the thing that was nice about that,
I didn't have to put the wig on when I was talking to him.
Your friend Paul Newman could have been in that club, too, with the silver chalice.
Well, yeah, but Paul was all, yeah, he could have been.
My late wife was in that movie.
Did you know that, Natalie?
Oh, yes.
Natalie was in that picture.
A lot of people didn't know that.
That was one he always tried to talk down or live down.
Oh, yeah.
He was not quite too thrilled with that picture.
Yeah, I think.
He didn't like that too much.
I think Paul Newman took out an apology in the papers for the silver.
I think he did.
I love that.
I had the opportunity of working with Paul on a couple of films,
and I had such respect for him and for Joanne.
They were just wonderful. films and I had such respect for him and and for Joanne I they they were they
were just wonderful they did so much for for everyone and particularly for our
for our business I mean they were such contributors to the motion picture
industry and both of them gave so much to to our our work and I mean he was an
exceptional guy exceptional and she was she is, and she's a
wonderful, wonderful lady. They're very fine people. I just watched the A&E biography of your
life, Robert. And he, you of course know this, he pays you a very lovely compliment. Yeah, doesn't
he? Yes. Yeah. Isn't that nice? It's a sweet thing to have somebody say about you. Yeah, it was very,
very generous of him. And I, I liked him so much. We had a lot of fun together, and we did some good work. That Harper was a good part of that. Yeah, that was a good part,
that part of beauty. That was a good one for me. And we just lost William Goldman.
Yes, I saw that. And God, talking about contributors, whoa. He gave us all a great
deal. Oh, yeah. Did you ever have him on your show? We never got him, no. What a career. He gave us all a great deal. Oh, yeah.
Did you ever have him on your show?
We never got him, no.
I think we started this show in 2014, and I think he was not well.
We have managed to get 250 people, which we're very proud of,
and some people you've worked with.
I'm sure.
And you were friends with Spencer Tracy.
Yes.
Why can you tell us about your friendship with Spencer Tracy?
You know, I had an interesting experience happen to me recently, Gilbert. I was honored at the Lone Pine Film Festival up in Lone Pine, California,
where they made a great many pictures up there from the silence all the way to today.
And it's a wonderful little town, and they have this festival every year.
And I was honored, and I was very, very touched that they asked me to be a part of it.
And they ran Broken Lance.
And that was a picture that I did with Spencer Tracy
and that's when I first met him
and I was sitting there in the theater
looking at the film
and I really
I tell you what that picture did for me
I of course didn't realize it at the time
but my relationship with Spencer Tracy
started then
and then I did a picture with him called The Mountain, which Eddie Dimitrick directed.
And he had also directed Broken Lance.
And that took me to Europe for the first time.
And I was with them.
And it put me in just in a whole different category.
And I, of course, didn't realize it at the time, but it took me out of being just another, you know, guy in Hollywood that was trying
to get started and get motivated and get some breaks and get some parts and be in the movies.
And with that one, I mean, that took me out of that. And Spence gave me co-star billing in The
Mountain. And my career completely changed with that film. You played a real SOB in The Mountain, which I just rewatched.
And it also changed my life a great deal.
It did.
It changed my life a great deal, yeah.
It was such a wonderful thing for me to be able to sit there
and have that feeling of how that propelled me forward.
And I never thought about it at the time, but
God, it did so much for me. And I'm so indebted to Eddie Dimitrick and to Spence. Spence was
wonderful to me and very special. He was a very special human being and I loved him. He was a
terrific force in my life. And I remember growing up, I'd watch like the Jack Benny show.
And he would always, the doorbell would ring and Spencer Tracy would stop over and whatnot.
And then I thought, oh, when I was a kid, I thought, oh, everyone knows each other in Hollywood.
Everybody's friends.
Yeah, yeah.
And then I thought, it's not the case,
but with you, it seems like you were friends with, you know, if they were in Hollywood,
you were friends with them. Well, I was very fortunate to meet a great many people
in Hollywood, and they were just wonderful to me, you know. I mean, people were just so great to me.
wonderful to me. You know, I mean, people were just so great to me. Did you ever watch the Jack Benny show when I rang the bell? Oh, I don't remember. Did you show up on the Jack Benny show?
Oh, yeah. Sure, I was on the Jack Benny show. Yeah, and he was great. He was such a wonderful man.
He had, I mean, he was so great to his guests guests and it was thrilling for me to be on his show. It
was just so exciting. Yeah. You know, one of the things in the book that you come away with,
Robert, is the serendipity of things and the coincidence and, you know, you meeting those
guys on the golf course when you were a caddy, when you were a boy, having no idea, not even
be able to imagine that you'd be
working with them one day.
So, so amazing.
I mean, it's so, so amazing to me and, and so fortunate.
So I was so lucky to, to have had that opportunity to meet them.
And they were, they were all wonderful to me.
All of those men that, that I wrote about in the book that were walking up the fairway
at the Bel Air Country Club, Randolph Scott, Cary Grant.
Yeah.
Fred Astaire.
You know, Fred Astaire and Clark Gable.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, can you imagine?
And I, you know, Fred Astaire, I played when I did It Takes a Thief.
He played my father.
He came on the show.
I mean, that was incredible.
And then my relationship with Cary Grant, I mean, to know him.
And Randolph Scott was great.
And Gable, he lined it up for me to go to MGM for one of those meetings to try to get under contract to the studio and become one of the contract players.
I mean, he did that.
I never worked with Clark Gable, but he was really wonderful to me,
just such a special man.
And he was the king.
He was great.
I came away wondering,
if your parents hadn't shipped you off,
and for our listeners that don't know,
you're originally from Michigan,
from the Detroit area,
and your parents sent you to Hollywood.
They sent you basically away to military school.
And had that not happened, do you think you would have wound up in show business? Your parents sent you to Hollywood. They sent you basically away to military school. Right.
And had that not happened,
do you think you would have wound up in show business?
Somehow on your own power,
on your own steam anyway?
I think that would have happened, yeah.
I really do.
I think I was a bit destined for that, you know?
You were like a bad student, I heard.
I was like a what?
A bad student.
Like in school, you weren't really moving ahead,
and that's how your parents...
Yeah, why did your parents ship you off?
Were they trying to discipline you, or...?
Yeah, I think at that time, that was the thing.
You know, in that period of
time before the war. And they were trying to discipline me and thought that that could make
me a man and all of that. But I was very rebellious. I was a very rebellious young guy. I look back at
it now and I think, geez, I mean, I'm amazed that I got to where I got, but I'm so happy that I did.
And also, see, I had the opportunity.
I was scholarship to USC, and the idea was to go to college and be an engineer or get a college education and all of that.
And I chose to go for the movies, you know.
I chose to try to get involved in the picture business
because I was crazy about the movies.
Yeah.
And it worked out for me.
What were your favorite kind of movies?
I know you went to the Fox Theater and Westwood and the Bruin.
And Gilbert's passion is those old universal horror classics,
the Karloff and the Lugosi pictures and Chaney Jr.
What floated your boat in those days, Robert?
What was your...
Well, I think, you know, Gunga Din was...
Gunga Din.
Sam Jaffe.
Yeah, and Four Feathers.
Yeah.
Those kind of pictures were what really fascinated me.
And then I loved the noir pictures, you know, when they came along.
I wasn't much into those Lugosi films, though, like you were, Gilbert.
You really liked those, didn't you?
Yeah.
He was a horror guy.
I liked the old classic monsters and the really low-budget crap monsters.
Yeah, I see those pictures often on TCM.
And it's interesting to watch them.
They were fantastic.
But I was never much of a fan of those horror films.
I sort of liked Laurel and Hardy and Chaplin.
I thought Chaplin was just so fantastic.
But I was just overcome with how they did it.
You know, how did they do it?
That's what was fantastic to me.
You knew Harold Lloyd, too, when you were a young man.
Yes, I did. Yes, I did.
Harold Lloyd was very helpful to me to get started in the picture business.
He introduced me to a woman agent called Helen Weintraub.
And, you know, Harold would give these wonderful parties at the house.
And I was invited and I was, you know, asked.
I knew them.
They were wonderful people.
You know, he was an amazing force in the motion picture industry, as you well know.
Sure, sure.
And to be around that, and he'd have all of these people come to these parties who were legend, legendary people.
Exciting, very exciting.
Did you meet or get to know Chaplin and Keaton at any point?
No, I never did. I met Buster Keaton.
And I met Charlie Chaplin,
just to shake hands with him.
I was at the Academy Awards
and he was being honored
and I had the privilege
of being introduced to him.
But I didn't know him personally.
But I did go to school
with Sidney, his son.
And we were very good friends.
Sidney and I were very good friends, and he was a particular guy.
He was a special guy.
He worked on the show on Heart to Heart once.
He came on and did it.
Boy, everybody did that show.
Yeah, they did.
Wasn't that wonderful?
Yes.
That was great.
What an extended cast.
Sidney was managing Charlie Chaplin.
I think he was at one point.
Well, I don't know whether too many people managed Charlie Chaplin.
You know, speaking of those old comedies, Robert, I know you're a Laurel and Hardy fan,
and you must have been a Marx Brothers guy, too.
Oh, yeah.
I met all of them.
You met all the Marx Brothers.
Oh, got to hear it.
Yeah, I was pretty...
I had some great times with Zeppo.
He was wonderful. I played a lot of golf with him
and Jen, and he was
a terrific guy. And I had
the opportunity of meeting all of them yeah
can you tell us a quick memory about each one of them oh my god ha ha gilbert please
i could uh sort of end that with the with the line that you gave me at the opening, fuck.
I was watching the Pink Panther last night.
And by the way, is that the only time you ever wore a gorilla suit in the movies?
I think I wore a gorilla suit when I was doing Heart to Heart.
There you go.
I don't know.
I'm not sure.
I don't remember. The way Blake Edwards stages those set pieces is just masterful.
Oh, he was sensational. Blake was absolutely fantastic. And we were very good friends. I was
a friend of his up until the time that he left us. And he was a special human being. And he gave
me a great break in that picture. Great break. I loved it. And I loved working with Peter.
They don't make them like that anymore.
No, they don't.
And I love Peter.
Peter was great.
And, of course, David I had known.
And to work with him was really, you know, so very special and such a great time.
That was a real highlight.
High time and a highlight of my life.
I always heard with Peter Sellers,
when he wasn't in character,
it's almost like he didn't exist.
That he didn't exist?
Well, yeah, like he was one, like, very,
he wouldn't open up to people.
Oh, what they used to say about Sid Caesar,
that he had to find a character,
that he was very uncomfortable being himself.
Yeah, I think there's probably some truth to that. He had to find a character that he was very uncomfortable being himself.
Yeah, I think there's probably some truth to that. I loved him.
I got along with him great.
But I think he was always searching, and when he found those characters, he stayed in them.
But can you imagine anybody else being Clouseau but him?
Oh, my God, yeah.
How did you guys manage to keep a straight face?
Oh, my God, yeah.
How did you guys manage to keep a straight face?
Do you know the story about Yusinov, Peter Yusinov?
They wanted Yusinov to play Clouseau.
And Blake always wanted Peter Sellers.
And anyway, Yusinov came down to Rome and had a conversation with Blake
and they talked about the character of Clouseau
and he wasn't too happy with the script
and he wasn't too happy with doing improvisational work
and he and Blake didn't hit it off.
And Blake got on the phone and called Peter, who he had always wanted.
And Peter came down to Rome.
And, oh, I mean, when he grabbed a hold of that character, I just knew that this was going to be a hit.
You know, it was one of those things you just knew it was going to be extraordinary.
And it was.
You guys look like you're having the time of your lives making that movie.
Oh, yeah. We had a lot of fun.
It was great.
It was a lot of fun.
It was very good work,
and it was also the most expensive domestic comedy I think that had ever been made,
and they were concerned about that.
Can you tell Gilbert the Great Niven story from the book, Robert, about the ski lift?
About the ski lift. Oh, you Robert, about the ski lift? About the ski lift.
Oh, you mean coming down the ski lift?
Yes, it's such a great story, and it's right up Gilbert's alley.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, you've got to understand that it blew me away.
I mean, I was having a very difficult time controlling my urinary tract
because I was dying laughing all the time.
We came down on the ski lift, and we had gone up to the Aguil de Medea.
We were up at the top, and no, it wasn't the Aguil de Medea.
It was another mountain.
We were in Cortina de Ampezzo.
And the weather changed, and the weather moved in,
and David and I had worn very thin pants.
We didn't really have the gear to go up to that altitude.
And coming down, it started to snow and blizzards and all that.
And David turned to me and he said,
freezing my cock, old boy, freezing my cock.
And I said, are you sure?
And he said, yes, very sure, fellow, very, very sure.
And so we got off the lift.
We got off the lift, and we went immediately to the bar,
and we got a couple of brandies and snifters full of brandy,
and we went into the men's room, and he took his unit out
and put it into the brandy snifter, you know,
had it in the brandy snifter, and this man walked in,
and he said, good God, good God, what are you two doing?
What are you doing?
And Niven said, I always give it a drink now and then, you know.
So by that time, I was on the floor of the bathroom in hysterics
and also peeing in my pants at that time.
I mean, I was weeping out of it.
It was great.
He was a wonderful, wonderful man, and what a sense of humor.
I mean, you can tell by that, can't you?
Oh, God.
Yeah, we're big fans.
Oh, geez.
Oh, he was the best.
Did either of you ever had an opportunity to meet him?
No.
No.
Would have loved to.
He was special.
He was a special, special human being.
And you were good pals with Roddy McDowell.
Love him.
Yes, I was, yeah.
From a very young age.
From a very young age.
I knew him when I was about 14, before I got in the picture business.
I met Elizabeth through him when we were all just kids.
Amazing.
And Roddy was, oh, he was, Roddy was great.
And very courageous actor.
He had a tremendous range and a great human being.
Yeah, we were very close, very close friends.
I have some things in my house that he left me
when he passed away.
And, God, he left us all very too young.
Too young he left us.
And I miss him desperately.
He was a very special man in my life.
Everybody that we've had on this show who knew the man has nothing but lovely things to say about him.
He was a special man.
Special man.
And very, very generous to everyone.
And when you talk about a film buff and a man who knows pictures and knows movies,
he had a tremendous collection.
Did you ever have him on your show?
No.
No, we started in 2014, yeah.
Oh, he was gone.
Yeah, we started five years ago. You would have loved him. You would have loved Oh, he was gone. Yeah, we only started five years ago.
You would have loved him.
You would have loved him.
He was great.
I'll bet.
Yeah.
I'll bet.
The two people
that you hear
nothing but good things about
are Roddy McDowell
and Jack Benny.
Yeah.
They love Jack Benny.
Yeah.
Jack Benny,
he was,
as we talked about him,
he was so special.
He was, he was great. What humor, Jack Benny. He was, as we talked about him, he was so special. He was great.
What humor.
What timing.
Oh, the king of timing.
We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast right after this.
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Gil and Frank went out to pee. now they're back so they can be on their amazing colossal podcast
kids time to get back to gilbert and frank's amazing colossal podcast so let's go
tell us about uh this is this i found fascinating in the book was was john ford putting you through your
paces as a young actor you know um ford was a very very tough man i mean he was a tough guy
and he always had one person that he would kind of pick on while he was doing a film and i happened
to be it on what price glory and i I was working with Jimmy Cagney.
I was 21, 22 years old.
I was with Dan Daly and Jimmy Cagney and Corrine Calvet.
And, yeah, he got me pretty good.
I came out of a scene with Jimmy Cagney and walked out onto a street.
It was the Bernadette Street at 20th Century Fox.
You guys are all aware of that.
And it was all dressed for the First World War and all of that.
I had a pack on and a gun and a helmet and the whole stuff.
And there was a lot of extras and people walking around, a lot filled up.
And it was one of my first breaks in
the picture business and working for john ford you can imagine of course a 22 and he uh oh god
and he said cut and everything stopped and he said boob that's what he called me boob he said boob
you looked in the camera uh i saw you looking in the camera. He said, you're not supposed to look in the camera.
I said, I'm sorry, Mr. Ford.
I didn't, I won't do that, whatever.
He said, good.
And he turned away and then he turned back
and he hit me as hard as you could hit anybody.
Wow.
And I was knocked down on the ground with this pack
and the gun and the helmet.
And Jimmy Cagney was there.
And oh, my God.
And I'm lying on the ground.
If he'd had the camera on me then, I would have won the Academy Award.
I was so stunned.
And so, I mean, I just didn't know what happened to me.
And I got up and he said, now go back there and do what I tell you to do.
And don't look in the camera.
You know, that kind of thing.
And he was on me most of the time, you know, but he was a wonderful director.
God, he made some great movies.
Sure did.
And, you know, I just was one of those things.
And I had a tough time with him.
I talked about him quite a bit with Scott Iman.
You know, Scott Iman is the co-writer of...
Yeah, your co-author, yeah.
Yeah, and he's such a knowledgeable man about film,
and he did the book on him, you know,
and I talked extensively to him about Sean Ford.
Scott, you know, is a wonderful, wonderful writer.
You ought to have him on your show sometime.
We ought to.
We will make that happen.
Did he have a touch of the sadist to him for?
Did he bring you back to audition for The Searchers?
Do I have that right?
Oh, you know about that?
Oh, yeah.
You know that story?
Yeah.
Oh, I knew about The Searchers.
I'd read the script, and it was so good.
And my agent had set up an interview for me to go
see him. And I went into his office and he said, hello, boob. How are you? I said, I'm fine.
He's still calling you boob.
He said, oh yeah. And I said, and you, sir? And he said, I'm doing just fine. He said,
it's good to see you. I said, well, it's wonderful to see you. And I said, this script
is so wonderful. What a picture you're going to make out of this. It's going to be great. He said,
you want to play the part, don't you? I said, yes, sir. I said, that's why I'm here.
He said, well, you're not going to. I'm going to cast somebody else in it. So
there's nothing really more to talk about, is there, Boob? I said, no, sir, Mr. Ford, but it sure is nice to see you.
And I go out the door, and he said, boob.
And I turned around, and for a second I thought, hey, maybe I still can get the part.
Maybe it's there.
Who knows?
I said, yes, sir, Mr. Ford.
He said, you really want to play the part don't you
i said yes sir he said well you're not going to
oh man unbelievable and uh have you ever had that experience when you when you think that
maybe when you want something so badly or you know about it and
you get turned down,
but then you think, well, maybe it'll change.
Oh, sure.
Have you had that experience?
Oh, yeah.
Boy, I was so weird.
I'd say, oh, yes, sir, Mr. Ford.
I'll do whatever you want.
I wanted that.
And Jeff, my friend Jeff Hunter played it, and he was so good in it.
God, he was great.
And it was such a marvelous picture.
You've seen that film.
I know you guys have seen it.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's so special.
It's such a special picture.
Oh, and it's inspired directors for generations to come.
Oh, yes, definitely.
And you were in a fun caper movie called The Biggest Bundle of Them All.
I like that one.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I like that one. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I like that, too.
The great Edward G. Robinson.
We love him.
Yeah.
I met him young.
I knew his son, Manny, kind of before I even got in the picture business.
I knew Eddie G.
He was a terrific guy.
And what an actor what an actor but everybody loved
everybody loved Eddie G
that picture was directed by Ken
Anakin and I thought it was going to
really get off the ground and go but you know
there was a problem with the script
the producer
they accused the producer of stealing it
and because it was so representative of a picture that was made at MGM.
And they went to court, and the biggest bundle of them all lost the case.
So it kind of stopped it.
But there were some good things in that movie I liked a lot.
Oh, yeah, it was a good caper picture.
movie I liked a lot. Oh, yeah, it's a good caper picture.
And, of course, knowing
your reputation,
did you get anywhere with Raquel
Welch? What a wonderful
thing for you to ask me.
I like that.
You know, I just
did a television series
that my son-in-law was in,
and I played her romantic lead.
And we were back together again, Raquel and myself.
And she's a really terrific lady, wonderful lady.
And we had a great deal of fun making this television show.
So the answer is no, Gilbert.
Yeah.
Damn it.
What were you asking, Gilbert?
I mean, what did you think?
That I had some kind of a relationship with her?
That I was doing something to her?
Is that what you're asking?
Yes.
Getting back to the early word, did you fuck her?
Did I fuck Raquel Welch?
Yes.
Yes, RJ.
That's what you're asking me?
Yes!
No, we...
No, we never had an affair.
Damn it.
I wish it had worked out.
Because I, you know, on that picture,
I mean, that was her second or third movie.
And, uh...
She was terrific.
She's a very lovely, lovely lady.
And I had a lot of fun with her on this last project.
Do you know Shep Gordon, Robert?
You must know Shep.
Yes, I know Shep, yeah.
Has he been on?
Yeah, he managed Raquel at one point.
Yeah, he must have been a great interview for you, wasn't he?
He's tight.
Obviously, he's tight with your buddy, Mike Myers.
But we had him here, and he's tight obviously he's tight with your buddy mike myers but but we had
him here and he's he's a great storyteller the opposite of ford was the way fred zinneman
treated you which i found one of the touching things in the book oh yeah well that wasn't that
nice i mean yeah i mean it's so it's a wonderful thing well you know it was when I was starting, George, and, you know, he tested me for this picture called Teresa.
And he was so kind and so generous, and I was a very green actor.
I'd hardly done anything.
And here I was in front of the camera with Fred Zinnemann directing me, and he felt, you know, he wanted me for the picture,
and he was so nice, and I didn't get it.
And he wrote me a wonderful note saying,
I really did want you to do this, but MGM felt that to take a chance
on such a young actor like you who hasn't had the experience
and all of that.
And it was so kind of him.
It was so kind of him.
And I saw him in London.
I was being honored there at the BAFTA thing.
And they were running some of my pictures.
And he came in and I went over to him and I said, you know, Fred, that meant so much to me.
He said, I remember writing that note to you.
And I said, well, I still have the note, and it meant a lot to me.
And, you know, it was so nice of him to let me down like that.
You know, that was, you know, I didn't, you know, we all get rejected so much in this business and in life, you know, and it's very hard sometimes to pick yourself back up after you've been, you know, so, you know, excited about doing something and so involved and wanting it so much.
And he knew all of that.
I had that happen, too, with George Stevens.
I wanted to play Jet Rink. I'd read that book,
you know, Giant. And I wanted to play Jet Rink. And I saw George and I said, you know,
I'd really love to be, I'd love to have a chance to test for that part and be in that picture
because it's going to be great and you'll make it a terrific movie and all of that.
And he said, you know, you would really be great.
You would really be absolutely wonderful.
I said, oh, really?
He said, yeah.
He said, I've made another choice for another actor,
but he said, don't believe me.
He said, you would have been great.
What a way to put somebody down.
That was really nice.
You know?
Because it's all, I mean, with all of the interviews you've done and all the people you've talked to, you've got to have luck.
You've got to have fortune.
That comes up a lot.
Boy, boy, it's true.
It's true because everybody has a lot of ability and a lot of talent.
And if you're there at the right time and the right place and you get a shot at something like that, that's luck.
That's fortune.
And I've been very fortunate and very lucky in my career and worked with a lot of great people and
they meant a great deal to me and they made the difference in my life.
You have all these angels that appear sort of at various stages of your career that are
helping you along and showing you kindness like Claudette Colbert, like Gloria Swanson
who ran lines with you from Sunset Boulevard.
And it's tough.
Oh, you have read the book.
Oh, yes.
Twice.
I read it when it came out.
But it's, and Helena Sorrell, too, who you went to, who you stayed with, you stayed in touch with.
She was in her, I think she lived to 104?
Yeah, she lived to 104 out at the Motion Picture Home.
And they took her in and she was there for the end of her life.
And she was very well liked out there, and she had a full life, and she was wonderful.
You know, she was very special, and she took time to do that.
Look at that.
I mean, that changed my life. Well, I think young actors should read the book too, because you'll see that they'll see that there are turning points, but there are also
people who help you along the path. Oh yeah, by all means. And you certainly had your share.
Oh yeah, luckily. Luckily. Yeah. Yeah. Tell us about Elizabeth Taylor. Well, there was a very marvelous, special lady.
And I think she was one of the best screen actresses we've ever had.
I mean, she's just remarkable.
That scene in Giant, do you remember that scene in Giant when Rock comes to that wedding?
She goes back east for the wedding.
Oh, yeah.
And she feels that he's there.
They never speak.
You know, he's at one end of the house, and she's at the other end,
and she doesn't know that he's there.
And, I mean, she's done some wonderful, wonderful pictures.
And she was so wonderful.
I produced a movie with her, and to work with her was one of the biggest joys of my life.
And I really loved her.
She was a very special girl.
I met her when I was 14
and I knew her when she went through
all of these different marriages
and all of her different careers and all of that.
But she was special, special, special lady.
You described her to a lot.
You described her at one point as being somebody who didn't have a lot of luck health wise
that she was, she had a lot of misfortune that way.
Yeah, she had a very difficult time physically.
And she, she stayed on top of that, you know, But she had some very, very difficult times health-wise and throughout her life.
And, you know, she kept going.
She kept it up there.
And, boy, there's no one around like that anymore.
No.
You could say that about a lot of these people whose names are coming up.
And I remember you talked about meeting Michael Jackson.
Oh yeah. Well, no, yeah, I met, actually I met Michael Jackson
at a party that, that Elizabeth was at. Well, I knew I had seen him a couple of times before that,
because I was in the horse business and he had, he had some horses on the ranch next to us,
and they'd come out there and go riding and all of that.
But, yeah, he was involved in the wedding of Liza Minnelli.
I think that's what you're talking about, isn't it?
Yes, yes.
Was that the book?
Yeah.
And, you know, he was back there.
And Elizabeth had left her shoes, and they had to go back to the hotel and get her shoes.
And Liza and David Guest were going to get married, and there was this big wedding in New York.
I was with Robert Osborne, your friend, by the way, and mine, too.
We love that man.
Yeah.
Oh, he was such a special man.
Anyway, yeah, Michael was there with Elizabeth, and I said, you know,
the wedding was being held up, and I said, you know, Michael, we've got to,
he said, I love Elizabeth.
I said, I love Elizabeth too, but we've got to get her inside
and in her shoes so we can start the wedding. You know what I mean, I love Elizabeth too, but we got to get her inside and in her shoes so we can
start the wedding. You know what I mean, Michael? You understand that? He said, yes, I understand.
And, but he was a very nice guy. I liked him a lot. And what a great talent. Jesus,
what a talent that kid was. He had a lot of it. Robert, we jump around as you see, but I do want to plug and specifically mention this book that you wrote with Scott, the new one from 2016.
I loved her in the movies.
And so many great stories.
And again, how many classic actresses you knew and worked with.
Joan Crawford, we mentioned Claudette Colbert.
We mentioned Gloria Swanson,
but Norma Shearer,
I believe is the first movie star you ever met.
That's right.
She was.
Do you still have that autographed picture she gave you?
I do.
Yeah, it's in the book,
and I still have the picture.
She was, I mean, I didn't know who she was, really.
I was just a kid, you know.
But I knew who she was later, and I had an opportunity of spending some time with her when I started getting in the picture business.
And she was a very dynamic woman.
I mean, she made a lot of great movies and all of that.
I wanted to tell you one thing.
Yeah.
You know, Robert Osborne was a very close and dear friend of mine.
We were under contract to Fox together in the early 50s.
And I go back a long time with him.
And as I said, we were very good friends.
And when he left us, he gave me and Jill a bequeath in his will.
gave me and Jill a bequeath in his will.
And so Jill and I decided we have kind of a long driveway coming into our house up here in Colorado.
And I was going to put lights, you know, to light the driveway.
Sure.
And I did it on a timer.
You know, I mean, not a timer, but you drive by it, and what do they call it?
A sensor.
And the lights go on.
So every time we drive in the driveway at night, the lights go on, and it reminds me of Robert.
Oh, that's sweet.
Lovely.
Oh, it's so great.
Yeah, he would have liked that.
He was one of the most special men that I ever knew.
And what a contributor to our industry and what he's done for it will be remembered always, I know, by people.
I like to think that just by himself, he got thousands, if not millions of people interested in classic films.
Absolutely.
You're absolutely right.
With his passion.
Yeah.
And he did us a big solid, too.
He had just started this show, and he came and did an early episode for us.
Did he?
Came down and got himself down there in his own power, in his own taxi cab, which we were very grateful to him.
And he invited me on with him to talk movies on Turner Classics.
Gilbert was on.
Oh, yeah?
He was one of those people.
Yeah.
We picked out movies and we just sat in those big easy chairs on Turner Classics and discussed movies together.
That must have been very nice for you.
You must have loved that.
And he must have
loved it too, because you're so knowledgeable about them. You know, that's, that's terrific.
Yeah, it was fun that I felt like I was just sitting at his house discussing it.
Yeah, he was a very, he was lovely. Yeah. Very special man. I miss him. I miss him so much.
No pretentiousness to the man at all.
No.
Just natural and affable and made you feel as if you'd known him your whole life.
Yeah, and was a love, pardon me, and loved the movies.
He was really loved the picture business.
Yeah, it was infectious.
And Frank and I were talking about you had memories of Towering Inferno.
Yeah, you said you liked Irwin Allen, which I loved hearing.
Because you hear conflicting things about him.
Frank, did you ever meet him?
I never did.
Did you ever know him?
No.
Big fan of his work.
Yeah, very interesting guy.
He made a lot of fantastic movies.
And he loved the film business.
He absolutely loved movies.
And Towering Inferno was his baby.
That was his thing.
And, you know, he got, I mean, look at the cast he had. Of course.
People that, you know, felt so strongly about him and about the film.
And the film was a tremendous success, as you know.
Yes.
Yeah, your friend's in there too, Fred.
Yeah, F.A., the great F.A., he was there.
Well, the Towering Inferno's a movie.
You know, the only accident that almost happened on that film,
it didn't happen.
Oh, yes.
But Fred, you know, they were up on the top floor and
they were the last ones to be evacuated. And in the film, Fred was, everybody was covered with
water and they were knocked around and had been, and Fred was, they said they had to change the
angle. And they said, Fred, why don't you step out?
And he said, no, I think I'll stay here.
How long will it take you?
And he said, well, whatever it is, I'm going to stay right here because I don't want to have to rematch this.
Because he was meticulous, you know.
He was a perfectionist, Fred Astaire.
So he stayed there for a while.
And then he said, you know, I think I will move out.
And he got up and he moved out, and as he moved out, one of those big 10K lamps broke and fell right where he was sitting, where he was sitting.
And it crashed there.
I mean, he would have been hurt very badly, very badly.
That was the only accident that I knew of that happened on that film.
We like these pictures like we talk about them, Gil.
The Poseidon Adventure with your pal Roddy and Towering Inferno.
Movies that, you're also in Airport 79, but movies that studios don't make anymore.
With this sort of Grand Hotel feeling about them with all-star casts.
I wish you hadn't mentioned that Airport 79.
As Gilbert would say, fuck.
Good cast, though.
Yeah. You can't fault the cast. Oh, though. Yeah.
You can't fault the cast.
Oh, yeah.
No, it was a good cast, and it worked out okay,
except there were some things in the film that were impossible.
You know, they couldn't happen.
You couldn't fire a gun in a plane like that.
There were things that were great license taken,
but it was a great cast, and I enjoyed doing it.
And, you know, it was a good shot for me, you know, I must say.
Wasn't The Towering Inferno such a gargantuan production?
The two studios had to team up on it?
Are you talking about financially?
Yeah, I believe it was.
I believe it, yeah, I believe it was.
And I remember, I'll never forget Newman and McQueen's billing.
Yes, yes.
How McQueen went first, but Newman's was higher.
Yeah.
On the screen.
Yeah, they had that.
And I had heard, and I don't know whether this is true or not,
but I had heard they'd had some financial problems and distribution problems.
And Irwin came in there and distribution problems and erwin came
in there and picked up uh and put a lot of money up to save it and he owned more of the picture i
think that's right he owned more of the film and i and that's what i had heard it happened and i
think that's true we will return to gilbert gottfried's Colossal Podcast after this.
Here's something Gilbert enjoyed.
Did Cubby Broccoli, your friend Cubby Broccoli,
ask you to be Bond at one point?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
That happened.
That is cool.
But, I mean, you know, they were searching a lot.
But my thing with Cubby was that, you know, Cubby, I'm so much an American.
And I think, you know, to have to do it with an accent and why do you want to go with all of that, you know?
I mean, there's so many people around that can play it.
And Roger Moore is perfect for it.
And Roger and I were very close friends.
And Roger was great in it.
You know, he just slipped into those shoes really easily.
And I think it would have been a little bit difficult
to have me say, hello, how are you?
I'm James Bond.
You know, I don't think people,
I don't think people would have believed it, you know?
By the way, speaking of British actors,
and I know you were friendly with James Mason too.
Yes. I'm going to wow you here, Robert.
Gilbert, give him a little bit of your James Mason impression.
I'm ready.
From this point on, you won't have any recollection of being Joe Pendleton or Leo Farnsworth.
It's your destiny, Joe.
Oh, that's great.
Congratulations.
That's a wonderful impersonation.
I knew you'd like that.
Thank you.
I've done, you know, my wife, Jill St. Sean, is a Bond girl.
That's right.
Diamonds are forever.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I've done that Bond.
James Bond.
You know, I've done that for her.
She says, get out of here.
Go away.
She's not buying it, huh?
I can't do it, you know.
It doesn't work with her.
Now, a friend of ours, Gino, told me a story.
You told him.
Gino told me a story.
You told him.
I think Jill St. John got into some accident where she had to have a body cast.
Like, yeah, she had some kind of body cast, Jill St. John.
And you liked the way she looked.
I haven't heard this one. Gilbert, did you dream this?
Go ahead.
Let me hear the rest.
This is a dream Gilbert had, Robert.
She was in a body.
Wait a minute.
She was in a body cast, and I did what?
Okay.
According to the story, Gino said.
You sure we got the right actor?
Yeah.
Sure, it was Robert Wagner?
Yes.
Who is Gino?
Who is Gino?
A friend of ours.
No, you were complimenting the way her breasts looked in this cast.
You know, I think Gino is maybe dicking around with himself.
Okay, that goes on the blooper reel, Robert.
Okay, okay.
But since we talked about Bond, I'll use the segue, the spy segue, to talk about It Takes a Thief.
Bond. James Bond.
Yeah, see, you could have done it.
When Lou Wasserman came to you and said, Robert, I think you should do television.
Yeah.
I like that quote in your book where you say, listen to smart people.
Well, no, he felt, I was mainly doing motion pictures.
And I was under contract to, I had made a contract with Universal and Lou Wasserman was running Universal.
And I went into his office and he said, I wanted to talk to you about something.
I said, what's that? He said, I wanted to talk to you about something. I said, what's that?
He said, I want to see you in television.
He said, I want to see you in this magazine every week, TV Guide.
I said, you know, Lou, I don't know whether to make a crossover and go into television.
It doesn't seem right for me.
He said, I'll tell you what I'll do.
I've read this script.
I know the guy that's written it.
He wrote it with you in
mind. I think it's perfect for you. Read it. And if we make it into a television pilot and they
don't buy it, I'll make it into a movie for you. I said, okay. I said, all right, if you feel that
strongly about it. I read the script. I loved it. Roland Kibbe wrote it. We became
fast friends.
It was a great character, Alexander
Monday. I loved the character
and it's the best character
really I've ever had. I loved it.
I loved playing it.
He said,
I think this is the right thing for you.
I made the pilot.
ABC saw it. They didn't like it.
I was down in Brazil directing a movie.
And I got this cable saying they picked it up.
And I thought, oh, God, this is going to be the end of my career, starting a mid-season television series.
And, you know, it was really bad.
Well, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Well, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
And I'm so grateful that I had enough intelligence to listen to Lou, who was a very brilliant guy and man. And he was a very good friend.
He and his wife, Edie, were very good friends of ours.
I'm surely happy that somewhere, somewhere in my brain and somebody there said, listen to this man because he's got the right thing. And I listened to him and it changed my whole life.
A smart show that never insulted your intelligence.
It takes a thief.
I like, still thinking that Dave Grusin score.
And in Heart to Heart, you were, there was that funny character, Max.
Oh, the great Lionel Stander.
Oh, Lionel, yeah.
Now, he was one of those that was blacklisted.
Did he ever speak about that?
Yes.
Yes, he did.
He talked about it quite a bit.
Of course, and also I asked him a lot about it because it was such a treacherous time
in all of our lives
and a terrible blight
on the United States.
And he was
one of those that
really got hammered by it.
You know, I had worked with Lionel
in It Takes a Thief
in Rome.
He did a scene. He did a scene.
He did a character called Max.
But when we started casting Heart to Heart,
Tom Mankiewicz, who was really the creator of the show,
he said, I think I saw the man to play Max today.
And I said, who is that?
He said, Lionel Stander.
I had wanted to have Sugar Ray
Robinson. I thought Sugar Ray would have been great. And yeah, it would have been interesting,
but Lionel was absolutely perfect. He was spot on. He was the glue of the show. He was so
responsible for making it a success. And he was great to work with. I really had great fun with him.
Was there a story, Robert, of you, of Dimitri, was it Dimitri and Lionel Stander being at the same party?
Or was it Kazan and Lionel Stander?
No, it was Lionel.
I had produced a film with Elizabeth Taylor and myself called There Must Be a Pony.
And I had a running of it.
I ran it at the studio and I took one of the theaters at the studio and invited several people.
And I invited Lionel and Eddie and they were there.
Yeah, that was, but, you know, I invited them and they came.
And, you know, it wasn't anything that I was thinking about.
Sure.
Getting them together or having them there.
It was just one of those things.
Yeah.
Two guys, obviously, on opposite ends of that situation.
Yes, I would say so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Here's something I wanted to ask you about.
That wonderful story, if you would share it with us,
the Fred Astaire story,
when you were making It Takes a Thief,
when he walked into the room,
you were shooting in a Roman villa
and the crowd started applauding and chanting his name.
Oh yeah, oh, that was terrific.
That really happened.
Yeah, we went out. We had lunch, and Fred and I took off and went to a trattoria around the corner.
And we came back, and the crew was all in this ballroom.
And when we walked in, the crew started going, Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred.
And he started to, you know, do a couple of steps.
And then he danced around the whole ballroom and finished in about 36 bars.
And, I mean, it was just fantastic.
The crew went crazy.
I went nuts. And it was just fantastic. The crew went crazy.
I went nuts, and it was sensational.
Fred, Fred, oh, it was great.
You said at the moment in the book that you said to yourself, remember this.
Yeah, boy, I'll say.
Take a mental picture of it.
That one I never forgot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That one I've never forgotten.
By the way, on the subject of Tom Mankiewicz,
a very gifted guy, and we had Richard Donner here,
and Tom Mankiewicz also had a hell of a lot to do with the success of Superman, with Donner's Superman, as well as Heart to Heart.
Donner's a big talent.
He's made some great movies.
He and Tom were very, very close, and I see Dick once in a while.
As a matter of fact, I just saw him about two weeks ago.
And, you know,
he's a special guy.
He's given us all so much.
Lovely guy.
A lot of good movies.
Lovely guy.
You asked about this show,
by the way,
just for fun.
We've had six people
on this show
who were on
It Takes a Thief.
So I did a little research.
Oh, yeah?
Who are they?
Julie Newmar.
Oh, yeah.
Stuart Margolin.
He was great.
Oh, yeah.
Love Stuart.
Gino Conforti. Yes, Gino Confortolin. He was great. Oh, yeah. Love Stuart. Gino Conforti.
Yes, Gino Conforti.
George Chiquet.
Frankie Avalon and Jessica Walter.
Oh, yeah.
I just, Jessica Walter and I just did an NCIS together.
She's great.
Yeah, she was a lot of fun.
We wound up, you'll like this, Gilbert.
We wound up in the bathtub together.
Gil, he's got your number.
Oh, you know me.
Hello, Gilbert, are you there?
I was in the bathtub.
I'll be thinking about this tonight.
All right, she gave me another segue.
This is catnip for him, Robert.
Can you tell them about OK Freddy?
OK Freddy.
God, can I tell these stories?
Yeah, sure.
This is just a podcast.
You know about OK Freddy, right?
OK Freddy had one of the biggest units.
He doesn't mean an apartment.
You know, they'd always say to him.
And the way that he got his name was people would say, Freddy, can we see your unit?
And he'd say, OK.
So it was OK Freddy.
He also used to do a thing where he'd put it on a plate, you know, and they'd garnish it.
They'd garnish it, and he'd go around and serve hors d'oeuvres.
Oh, great.
Absolutely great.
He'd serve hors d'oeuvres.
People would reach out, and then they'd kind of do a double take, you know, for a second.
They'd say, no, that couldn't be.
You know, but it was.
Okay, Freddie. couldn't be you know but it was okay freddie one one favorite person that we discuss on this show
all the time and that subject is milton burl oh yeah milton burl i apparently i never saw it
so but he saw freddie's you know i think they took it out and measured once. I'm not sure about that.
I'll tell you who did see it was Sammy Davis Jr., I think, saw it once.
Sammy Davis Jr. saw Milton Berle's penis.
I think so.
You might check that out before you put it on the podcast.
We'll get our fact checkers on that. I think so. I'm not quite. You might check that out before you put it on the podcast. Oh, yeah.
We'll get our fact checkers on that.
I take it as fact no matter what.
That's too good a story.
Yeah, Milton was notorious.
Tell us a little bit about, before we let you out of here, Robert,
and we'll plug the books again.
Steve, if you ever have Steve Lawrence on your show.
We're trying to get him.
He is absolutely fantastic.
Will you put a word in for us?
One of the most wonderful.
Yeah, sure, I sure will.
He's one of the most fantastic guys I know.
We've been trying to get him.
Great sense of humor.
He'll have you on the floor.
I'm telling you, you'll be finished with him, Gilbert.
He will take you away.
If you get him on the show, have him tell you the story about Milton.
All right.
We've been trying to get him on since we started this show.
We'd love to have Steve Lawrence.
Well, when I see him, I'll tell him I did the show with you guys.
Oh, fuck.
We appreciate that.
Robert, before we let you get out of here, you're going to get back to your life.
And as I said, we'll promote the books again.
Just a couple of other names that I wrote down.
People who meant something to you in your life.
Your good pal, Robert Stack.
Yes, I was very close to Robert.
We were very, very close friends for quite a long time.
And he was special.
He was a very unique human being, and he did some great work.
I mean, you know, he started young, and he worked with some very heavyweight people, and he did some great work. I mean, you know, he started young,
and he worked with some very heavyweight people, and he was very good, very professional.
He was meticulous. He was a perfectionist, and he was a wonderful man, and I loved him dearly.
He was a terrific guy. We've had people on the show, younger actors, who he was
very supportive of. In fact,
Nancy Allen, just last week,
told us some nice things about Robert Stack when they
made the Spielberg movie, 1941.
What about your friend
Gregory Peck? Just give us
a couple of short
remembrances of these.
I admired
Gregory Peck so very much.
I admired his thinking.
I admired the way he conducted himself.
He was always a gentleman.
He was a marvelous actor,
a great contributor.
And he was a man that I have
tremendous respect for and appreciation.
And he was very kind to me.
And I'd kind of like to have my life be like his.
Wow.
What a nice thing to say.
And another great body of work.
I love the fact, too, as I was reading I Loved Her in the movies,
that you took time to call attention to character actresses, too.
I mean, primarily the movie, the book was about people like Claudette
Colbert and Barbara Stanwyck.
But you had a little
part of the book where you said, I want to stop now and I want to
give due to character actresses
or character actors. And you mentioned Thelma
Ritter and Eve Arden.
And Joan Blondell. And Joan Blondell.
I thought you were, yeah. Wonderful.
We like to talk about people like that on this show.
Because they're like so good.
People don't notice character actors because they're so good at what they do.
People like James Gleeson.
Can I take these earphones off and go to the John and then I'll come back?
Yeah, sure.
Absolutely.
It won't be a long one.
We'll wrap it up.
It's not going to be a long one.
You know what I mean? It won't be a long one. We'll wrap it up. It's not going to be a long one. You know what I mean?
It won't be long.
I'll be back.
He's got your number, Gil.
Okay.
We're only going to drive you crazy for about five more minutes, Robert.
I'm back.
I just want you to know that movie stars do go to the bathroom.
I'm giving you a lot of material, aren't I?
You really are.
See, you just destroyed my whole image of Hollywood now.
Okay, Gilbert has one for you.
Okay, this is very important.
Tell us about Anita Eckbert.
From the book.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Well, I was very fortunate to meet her.
And she was at RKO.
Well, she had just hit town. And she was great. She was a wonderful, wonderful lady. I really liked her so much. And I had the chance to take her out when
she was first starting. And it was great. I mean, you know, she was just a wonderful lady and so beautiful.
Oh, my God.
She was such a beautiful lady.
I think Gilbert was referring to the story from the book of you running across a lawn.
Oh, well, she was under contract to RKO, and Howard Hughes was involved with her and I was
with her we were together in her apartment and there was a knock on the
door and it was Howard and I got out of there real fast I got out through the
window she was on the ground floor thank God and so I went out the window. She was on the ground floor, thank God. And so I went out the window
and was running down the, across the lawn and I tripped on a sprinkler head, you know,
they had sprinklers in and I tore up my shoes, fell down. And it was pretty exciting time,
you know, it was very exciting time. And I kept going because I didn't want to have Howard get me.
I could imagine.
I wanted to ask you, too, Robert.
How did you and Jill wind up in that Seinfeld episode?
It's a classic episode.
Were you guys fans?
You know what?
Well, obviously, we're fans.
Yeah.
And obviously, we're fans. Yeah. And obviously we're fans. We got a
call to be on the
show and we said absolutely.
And went over to the
studio and got the material
and met all the people and
they were very happy with us and
there I was. Yada, yada, yada.
It was great. You wound up
in a great episode. Yeah, the anti- dentite. Oh, yeah.ada, yada. It was great. You wound up in a great episode.
Yeah, the anti-dent type.
Yeah, you anti-dent type bastard.
Yeah, that was really good.
They wrote some good stuff for me.
And then they were all great to us, too.
It was wonderful to be on that show.
It was like that show was run like a Rolls Royce.
You know, it was just perfect.
I mean, they had great writers and the writers would go along
and the cast was beautiful.
And I mean, come on,
that doesn't happen too often.
Yeah, a lot of lightning in a bottle.
And you knew both Frank and Dean.
I did.
I love that story in your book about Dean coming to the set of Prince Valiant.
You were in the wig?
No, it was at lunchtime.
And I came down from my dressing room, and he was sitting there,
and I sat next to him, and he was talking to me.
And we were talking to each other, and I think what I felt was he thought I was Jane Wyman.
Because he was making passes.
I said, Gene, settle down, settle down.
He said, oh, it's you.
And what was Frank Sinatra like?
Well, you met him when you were a kid, 24.
Oh, God.
You know, there's been so much ink written about Frank.
I mean, so many books.
And he was so special to me and incorporated me in so many things.
And he was the biggest star I really think I've ever been around.
I mean, he did it all. I mean, when you think about, I mean, you look at TCM and you see him in some of those old musicals and those old black and white pictures at RKO and MGM.
I mean, he never stopped working.
Recorded more, I think, than any other artist, I believe.
Isn't that true?
Do you guys know that?
I don't know, but it sounds right.
I think he recorded more songs than any other artist. And you know, with his musical career
and his nightclub appearances
and his classic touring around the world
for these gigantic concerts,
I mean, he was amazing.
And he was so generous to me and very special.
Very special guy.
Go ahead, Gil.
Oh, did you know Jerry Lewis?
Why would you ask me that?
Because you know everybody.
He's got a Jerry Lewis obsession.
I knew Jerry Lewis, and I got to tell you, I was never very much of a Jerry Lewis
fan. There you go Gil.
I'm just sorry you asked.
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
Gilbert to say that to you.
I just never
I didn't get along with Jerry
very much. I thought he was
a little bit
very very difficult. I thought he was a little bit very, very difficult. Very hard
on his family. Very hard
on everybody that knew him.
And for me, I didn't want to be around
that negativity. He was...
So I stepped around him.
You're not the first one who said that
about him.
I don't know.
I know that there were a lot of people that didn't feel too positive about him. I don't know. I know that
there were a lot of people that didn't feel
too positive about Jerry.
Very interesting.
This book, Robert,
and the end of the book,
the end of Pieces of My Heart is very touching.
The last chapter, which is called
The World Moves On, and you're looking back
and you're thinking about all these
giants and all these icons and all these people you took this,
what Frank Copper would call the magic carpet ride with.
And again, I come back to that gratitude that you feel.
Could I, could I, could I, let me just stop you for a second.
Sure.
Because have you read the book about Fay Wray?
Oh, the Robert Riskin book.
Yeah, and Robert Riskin.
No, we haven't read it yet.
It's written by their daughter, Victoria.
I haven't read it yet.
It is one of the best books.
It's one of the best books I've read.
If you have a chance, read it.
I mean, the way that she presented this book and her family and how wonderful they were and her love for them.
It's a very special book.
Very special book.
We'll get our hands on that.
Yeah, Victoria Riskin wrote it.
We should talk about having Victoria Riskin.
I was just saying about, you know, you're looking back in the last chapter.
And again, we really have to recommend this book to people.
But you're talking about all the people that are gone, all the people that you came up with, the friends that you've lost over the years.
And, you know, the word you use is blessed.
It's very touching to read.
You know, I was so moved by the time I got to the end of the book.
And Scott and I were talking about it.
moved by the time I got to the end of the book and Scott and I were talking about it and I just was I've just been so fortunate in my life to have met some of these wonderful wonderful people who were
just so great to me and I feel that for me and my, at this time in my life, I have been blessed.
I've been touched by something.
I don't know what, but I'm very blessed to have had the opportunity and the life that I've had to be able to be in proximity and to do something that I always wanted to do and have that happen for me.
And it's been very good to me.
It's put my children through school.
And my family has been very successful.
I mean, they're doing pretty well.
And I'm fortunate and I'm blessed.
And I meant what I wrote in the book.
Yes, it's very moving.
Scott and I, thank you very much.
Well, Scott and I spent a lot of time together and I admire him so much.
He's such a wonderful writer.
And I just, you know, it was a book of love and he helped me so much get through it.
And I liked the last part, too.
I'm glad you liked it.
Yeah, and it's almost looking at the whole journey,
it's almost from the moment you were on that golf course
and you saw those four guys walking toward you,
and you said, that's the world that I want to inhabit.
And it's almost as if you willed it to happen,
that you created this reality for yourself.
It's fascinating.
I can only leave you with one thing.
I'm blessed.
Lovely.
You got another book in you, Robert, or is this it?
I know you don't want to retire.
I don't know whether we've been talking about doing another book,
but I'm not quite sure of what it's going to be.
It might be something like All My Heroes Are Gone.
It might be something like that.
I don't know yet.
I was going to do it about my love affair with Barbara Stanwyck.
That's something we didn't even get to.
I just don't want to give that up.
That's something I have in my heart, and I'm going to keep it there.
Sure.
Well, if you ask nicely, I think Gilbert would be willing to write a foreword for you for the next book.
Gilbert.
Well, if Gilbert would write a foreword like the introduction he gave me, he's definitely on.
The foreword would be, oh, fuck, Robert Wagner.
I love that.
Robert, this is a genuine thrill for us.
Our audio is gone.
Oh, fuck.
Let's plug the books again.
Robert Wagner.
How does Scott say his name?
Iman or Eamon?
Iman.
Scott Iman.
Scott Iman.
Pieces of My Heart, A Life.
The other book is called You Must Remember This.
And the most recent one, I Loved Her in the Movies, Memories of Hollywood's Legendary Actresses.
And we will say to our listeners, get your hands on these books.
Because the people who listen to this show love what we love.
They're obsessed, Robert.
Yeah.
They will correct us if we make a mistake.
They write to us on Twitter.
How dare you say that was Broderick Crawford.
It was actually Edward Arnold.
They will probably correct you on your career.
That's how much they know.
I'm sure.
I want to thank both of you
for having me on your show.
I really appreciate it.
I heard so much
about both of you
and I heard that this was,
that your podcasts
were so positive
and so wonderful
and I appreciate it.
You guys were great to me.
I had a good time being with you and I wish you the best.
Oh,
you're so kind.
I hope you'll come back and play with us another time,
Robert.
Okay.
I'd love to.
This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my cohost,
Frank Santopadre.
And we have been talking to my pal,
Archie,
the great Robert Wagner. And all I can say is, oh, fuck.
Robert, it was an honor.
Robert, can I bother you to hear an oh, fuck from you one more time?
Oh, fuck.
Nobody says that like Robin Wagner.
Let me get this straight.
You want me to steal?
Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast is produced
by Dara Gottfried and
Frank Santapadre, with audio
production by Frank Verderosa.
Web and social media is handled by Mike McPadden,
Greg Pair, and John Bradley-Seals.
Special audio contributions by John Beach.
Special thanks to John Fodiatis, John Murray, and Paul Rayburn.