Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Classic: Steve Buscemi

Episode Date: March 9, 2023

GGACP celebrates the 25th anniversary of the Coen Brothers' "The Big Lebowski" by revisiting this 2015 interview with Brooklyn-born actor and director Steve Buscemi. In this er..."unforgettable" episode (recorded at the New York Friars Club), Steve talks about his early days as a stand-up, his memories of making modern-day classics like "Reservoir Dogs," "Miller's Crossing" and "Fargo" and his on-screen deaths at the hands of everyone from Vince Vaughn to Roger Daltrey. Also, Steve shares a cab with Gilbert, shares the stage with Andy Kaufman and shares his appreciation for Harvey Keitel and "The Brady Bunch." PLUS: The madness of Lawrence Tierney! Illya Kuryakin ties the knot! Paul Winchell builds an artificial heart! And Woody Allen meets Carrot Top! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast. I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. Our guest this week is one of the busiest and most admired actors of his generation, with credits too numerous to mention, but here goes. His movies include Reservoir Dogs, Con Air, Fargo, Armageddon, Ghost World, The Big Lebowski, and Monsters, Inc. He's appeared in dozens of television shows, including Homicide, The Simpsons, Saturday Night Live, The Sopranos, and of course, Boardwalk Empire. He's also a director with credits on everything from The

Sopranos to 30 Rock to Nurse Jackie. I could go on and on, but it's only an hour show, and I don't have the energy. Welcome to the show, former stand-up comedian and Brooklyn's own Steve Buscemi. Now, is it Boo? How do you pronounce it? You said it the way I say it. Yeah. Buscemi. That's really all I wanted to know.

That's it. Okay. Thank you. Thanks for coming. We've been talking to Steve Buscemi. That's really all I wanted to know. That's it. Okay. Thank you. Thanks for coming. We've been talking to Steve Buscemi. This has been really fun, guys. Thank you. You guys are great. I'm back again.

All right. Didn't you say people started calling you Buscemi, so you started saying it after a while? Well, Buscemi is not wrong. Right. But shouldn't it be Buscemi? Why do you say that? Because Italian. No. No? I think it's – no. Really? In Sicily, it's Buscemi is not wrong. Right. But shouldn't it be Buscemi? Why do you say that? Because Italian. No, I think it's – no.

Really? In Sicily, it's Buscemi. Buscemi? Yeah, Buscemi. So I'm way the hell off. You are. OK. I always said Buscemi.

You always said Buscemi. Yeah. Yeah. That's OK. I don't correct people when they say Buscemi. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I should.

That's really – that's all I want to talk about now steve yes how do you say that yes it you have to elongate the e a little bit more that's steve if you would now let's talk about something more important all right then your name um we uh let's talk about me for a second. Sure. You used to work out at the improv. I don't know if you'd call it work out. I somehow passed the audition at the improv. I think it was like 1978.

And I used to just sit in the back of the room and i would watch all of you guys i would see jerry seinfeld and paul reiser um larry david when i auditioned larry david was the was the mc um and uh fred stoller oh sure um yeah but i used to watch. Yeah. But I used to watch Gilbert every – I used to watch you every night. You would come on around midnight or so and talk about clearing a room sometimes. I'll bet. Well, here's the thing that I loved about you. You always like – you were so far out there and the audience either got it and then the whole room was electrified or people just didn't know what they were seeing. And then you would go deeper into like the really weird, weird stuff and then people would just politely like sort of get up and make believe they were going to the bathroom, but they would never come back. But then all the other comics would be in the back and everybody would – we'd just be dying.

You were just – you were incredible. And you saw me a couple of times when I worked out with – Well, Robin Williams came in one night and he got up on stage with you and you guys did like a half an hour. It was amazing. Yeah. Did he come in often? Because that's the only time I saw him. Yeah, yeah.

He used to come in a lot. Really? All those clubs, like he and Rodney Dangerfield. Right. Yeah. You passed the audition not with Bud Friedman but with his wife, but with Silver. Is that right? Silver, yeah, but I don't – you know who passed me?

Maybe he didn't even have the authority to pass me. Was this comic Mark Schiff, I think his name was? Yeah. Oh, yeah, Mark Schiff. I don't think he had the authority to pass me. He told me I was in. I remember Mark Schiff. Well, this is good.

So you never passed the authority. It was like the one night they left him in charge and I got in. I remember Kenan used to work – he worked the door. Kenan Ivory Waynes. Yeah. He worked the door. Yeah. And Chris Albrecht was like the manager.

Oh, sure. Yeah, when Bud was first leaving for L.A. See, I never met Bud. So this was – so, yeah. So Kenan took over? Well, Kenan – no, Kenan just like worked the door. No, no, no. Kenan worked the door, but Chris Albrecht.

Kenan Ivory Wayans had the door. It's like we had the black guy at the door. Yeah, that's basically it. Well, Albrecht had an act with Bob Zmuda, who was one of our guests. He did? Albrecht and Zmuda, comedy from A to Z. Oh, I didn't know he did that. But Bud basically talked Chris into taking over managing the club, and that was the end of the act.

Because he was in charge of, like, who would go on, right? Like, what the order would be. And I used to sit in the back. He never picked me. I don't think he ever saw me. like who would go on, right? Like what the order would be. And I used to sit in the back. He never picked me. I don't think he ever saw me. So he just was confused. Like why is this kid here?

I would just – I would eat. I remember like they would feed you there. So I used to just get a hamburger like every night and I'd sit. And then around 2 o'clock in the morning, he would kind of peruse the back room to see who was there, and Carol Siskin, all right, you're up next, or somebody. And he'd always look at me and then look the other way. And then one night, it was only like 1 o'clock in the morning, and so there was still an audience, and he came, and everybody had gone up, and there was nobody left to go up except me.

Like he was forced. He looked at me, and he went, all right, you're next. But I could tell he was a little pissed off. He was resentful about it. And I was so excited. I was going to get up there. Right before I was about to go on, Paul Reiser walks through the door, and Chris said, oh, thank God you're here, Paul. You're next and so i was i did go on but paul went up and he he did like 45 minutes and he killed and after that i was just like right of course it was late and then i'm sure our listeners would

be curious to hear some of what you actually did in in your act i would be curious yeah but you don't have to tell them. We could leave them in suspense. This is why I gave up doing stand-up. It was hard to really figure out what was my thing. So I would just kind of pull from everybody. What was my thing? So I would just kind of pull from everybody. I mean a lot of it was self-deprecating humor and sort of the style of like Woody Allen or Rodney Dangerfield. But then I did work with props a little bit and I had a thing where I said I'm trying to work out and I've been pumping iron.

And then I would pull out like an actual iron. So a little carrot top. Yeah, a little bit, yeah. But it was – I don't know. It was – it's probably a good thing that I stopped. I think it worked out. So it's a comfortable blend of carrot top and Woody Allen. Everyone's been looking for. I remember being at the improv, and when I was, like, still trying to get on,

and the emcee would come out, and it would be, like, you know, it would be empty. There'd be, like, no one else. I'd be sitting there, and he'd be looking around going, nobody here. You got a full audience. There's nobody to go on. Wow. Was it Samud or somebody or Zybello told us they would put you up to get people to get out? Oh, yes.

At the end? After the check spot, people would linger? They would either put on me or Larry David. Really? Me because the audience had no idea what the hell I was talking about and they'd leave. Or Larry David because he'd get into a fight every time. Now, did you know Gilbert then? I started – well, we didn't know each other, but I saw him for the first time at the comic strip and probably in the 80s.

Yeah. Doing the Norman Fell bits and the Ted Bessel jokes. Some that he's still doing. But I still remember you getting up there and you had a cigarette. Oh my God! And you would take these little drags on the cigarette,

like these angry drags, and then you'd say, I just got back from Africa. Oh yes! I was in Biafra. And these kids, these kids, I love them. I said, I want to take you kids home with me. But how can I take you home with me?

You look like hell. Starvation is no reason to let your looks go to hell. I skipped lunch today. You don't see me looking like shit. I was like, oh my god, who is this guy? Oh god.

Like, oh, my God, who is this guy? Oh, God. I walked by the Veterans Hospital. I saw a guy in a wheelchair. I said, I know how you feel. My car wouldn't start this morning. That's incredible. I was like, wow, I couldn't believe what you were doing. It stuck with you.

Unbelievable. But the first time I saw you there was before I actually passed the auditions because we used to go there. My friends, when I lived in Long Island, we used to come in and go there. And I remember seeing you, and you used a lot of props. I mean, remember you just like – Still do. Yeah, but you picked up the trays. You used them as like you were Mickey Mouse, and you picked up the trays. Yeah.

You used them as like you were Mickey Mouse and then you did something else. And I think it was that night. This could have been the same night. But you would have left because it was like it was at the end of the night and we were the last table there. And I looked behind me and Andy Kaufman was like – came in and he was at the door and he's looking around and the waitress said, are you going to go up? He says, no, there's nobody here. And I was like, well, we're here and I went up to him and I asked him to go on. I said, would you please go – I said, we love you.

And he got up there and he performed just for me and my friends and he he did uh old mcdonald had a farm and he brought us up on stage and he gave us great he assigned us you know you're you're the chicken and you you'd be the cow and and and we sang it and you had a comedy duo you were part of a comedy duo with an actor named mark boone jr Yes. So later on, after I stopped doing stand-up, then I – well, I did do a little bit of stand-up. I was living in the East Village. Were you not living in the East Village then? I used to see you.

Yes. Yeah. I used to live on Avenue A. Yeah, me too. So I lived on Avenue A between 9th and 10th and there was a comedian named Rockets Red Glare. I don't know if you know him. No.

He didn't do the uptown clubs, but he would do these clubs in the East Village, like Club 57 and places like that. And so I started to do some stand-up in his shows, and then I met this actor, Mark Boone Jr., and then we started to write and perform our own work. He plays the character of Bobby Munson on Sons of Anarchy. He's in a million things.

He was in Batman Begins. He's one of those, oh, that guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so I felt more comfortable having a partner. I think part of the reason that I left stand-up, I just felt like it was lonely.

It was just you. And I remember at the improv, it was hard to like – it was so cliquish. Like all of these guys used to – they would go to like Steve – remember Steve Middleman? Middleman, yeah. I think they would go to his apartment and play poker. And I just – I couldn't figure figure out how to get in the clique.

We actually shared a cab ride home once, Gilbert. Now, every single person right now is saying, okay, I guess Steve paid for this. You didn't split a cab. You shared a cab. We shared a cab, But here's the thing. Remember they used to give you five bucks for cab fare? Oh, yes. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't think I had – I don't think I went on that night. So you had the five bucks. I think you still asked me for $2.50. And this was like the most awkward cabaret. Because Gilbert, you know, just sat there. Not even like, so, how's your act going? Where are you from?

Nothing. Nothing. You know, I just sat there and I would try and ask you questions. Hey, Gilbert, did you see that TV movie about the Beatles? And then you would say something. You'd give me like a one-line. That was it. That was it. All right.

You made him pay for the cab even though you got paid and he didn't get paid. Yes. Classy. classy. You know, when you said that thing about Reiser coming in, and Reiser went on ahead of you, it reminded me of that story

I was telling for a while, because it was so... One time, I was supposed to go on, and Robin Williams walked in. And they said, okay, you're on next. And Robin said, I've got some people in the audience, and I'd like them to see Gilbert first.

That's nice. He was the sweetest guy. He was just, I just loved him. Wow. That's cool. Okay. How do you say your name again? All right.

Beslemik? Yes. Beslemik. Somebody finally got it right. That was farther off than I was. So obviously the stand-up did not work out. Didn't work out, but it's never – it hasn't completely left me because sometimes when I'm asked to host an evening or something or you just did Robert Smigel's

show and so I love comedy like when I was growing up you know these were the guys like George Carlin and Steve Martin and Rodney Dangerfield I used to love seeing them

and I don't know that I really wanted to be a stand-up. But when I was trying to like break into this business, I knew that the clubs were there. And if you could just pass the audition and write your own material, then you had a built-in audience. And I knew that comedians often made the leap into getting a sitcom or movies. Back then it was really sitcoms was the thing. That was my dream was to try and

Be like Abe Kaplan or Freddie Prinze. Hit it and get a show. Freddie Prinze, I remember seeing him on the Johnny Carson show. I think the first time he was on and I remember Johnny Carson saying that he was 17 years old. And that was part of the problem, you know, for me doing stand-up at then.

I was only like 20. Like, what the hell life experience did I have to draw from? I can't believe it. Yeah. And my material hasn't advanced. has an advantage. What year did you start working out at the improv then? Oh, God. Let's see.

I guess when I started, it was like the end of the 60s. Really? Yeah. Wow. You're old. Darren's yelling 1970. Was it 1970? And you just do impressions, right?

I mean you didn't really have an act. Yeah, that was it. I still don't have an act. Yeah. I still have no reason to be in the business. Now, yeah, you said that – I was also on the same night, Night of Too Many Stars with you. And you did a bit there that's really true. What do they call you?

The most murderable man? Yeah, the most murderable man. You've been killed by everybody. So we have a list of people who have killed you. Yeah, just this is a short list of people who have killed you on screen. Harvey Keitel, Vince Vaughn, Christopher Lloyd, Danny Trejo, Treat Williams, this is a small list, James

Gandolfini, and our personal favorite, Roger Daltrey. Oh, that's right. Yes. Tales from the Crypt. But you also died in other ways, falling through a glass coffee table and having a heart attack and a Lebowski. Yes, I know, Lebowski, that really a glass coffee table and having a heart attack and a Lebowski. After – yes. I know Lebowski.

That really surprised me that I die of a heart attack. That was sad. They just wanted to kill me. I remember after I was killed on The Sopranos, I thought, you know what? I think this is it. I'm not going to take any roles where I'm killed again because I was just killed by Tony Soprano. That should be my final death.

Then about a year later, I was offered the Michael Bay film, The Island, and I was killed by an anonymous killer. You don't even know the guy's name. That's where I fall through the glass. There's a montage of you being killed on YouTube. Yeah, it's lovely. Yes. But going back, Steve.

It is Steve. Steve. Please, just a long... I read after you did the stand-up, you did the comedy duo thing, you didn't have an agent. You started going on auditions. You started getting backstage and the trades

and just going on open casting calls? Yeah, I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know how to get an agent you started going on auditions you started what getting backstage and the trades and just going on open casting calls yeah i didn't know how to do it i didn't know how to get an agent but i you know would just look in the in backstage and just send my you know my picture and my padded resume you know just makeup drives a ship drives a stick yes special skills right and um a guy named kevin downs uh he was at at nyu and he cast me in his film um now i don't remember the name of it sir i think it was surf city i played a a kid from ohio who was living in new york but was trying to get to a beach so i could surf and i the whole movie i walk around with a surfboard that was really like my first experience on film. And I was actually, this is when I was on the fire department because I joined the fire department in 1980.

I gave up stand-up to do something less scary. Right, right. And it was while I was on the fire department that I started to do some films, student films, and then films that were being made in the East Village at that time. This guy, Eric Mitchell, made a feature called The Way It Is, and I was in it, and Boone was in it, and Rockets. I think the first time I saw you was in a movie called

Parting Glances. Well, that was the first one that was ever released. Oh, I see. Okay. That's the reason that's the first time I saw you. I had made two independent films

before that one. But that was the first one that was released. And that was the one that really got me some attention and I was able to get an agent. And then from there,

it snowballed. And then, you know, like, guys like Jim Jarmusch and Tom DiCillo, who I later worked with, they would be around then, you know, and they used to see the theater that I did then. So it was really because of, you know, those early films

that I got really wasn't because of an agent. It was because of who was coming to the shows at that time when I was performing. Now, after September 11th, I think you went back. You went to help out? Well, I was with

Engine Company 55. They lost five guys and so I went down to the firehouse just to see if they needed any help and I was brought into the site and I ended up working with them for about five days

and it was you know I mean and I hadn't been in touch with them for a while before that so I mean I always say this I hate the reason that I was reconnected with my old company but I'm so happy that I did because I realized how much I missed it. Now I'm connected with them, and I go to the parties and the fundraisers.

You made a documentary. You made an HBO documentary. Liz Garbus was the director, and it's called A Good Job, Stories of the FDNY. Didn't this originate with your dad telling you to take the civil service test way back? Yeah, my dad was on the sanitation department. And whatever civil service test came up when me and my brothers were 18, we had to take. And for me, it was the fire department. Just to have something to fall back on in case?

Oh, yeah. He was like, this acting thing, fine, but you need a real job. Yeah. So that's what i did and so then parting glances i'm just funny because i'm doing research online and i read that that reservoir dogs was referred to as your breakout role but i'm looking you did 24 films before break before parting glances was done by a guy named bill Sherwood. It was his only film. He died of AIDS. And yeah, but after that I did Mystery Train, the Jim Jarmusch film. And yeah, like a few things. But Reservoir Dogs was the one where that great opening credit sequence where Quentin put our names right on the screen in front of our face.

So that was huge. A game changer. It was. And Reservoir Dogs is where you have that great scene of why you don't tip. Yes. Which has followed you around, hasn't it? It has. Now I have to overtip.

I probably – I'm still shortchanging them because – but yeah, that was – that really was an incredible role. And just to be in the same room with all those guys and to be with Harvey Keitel who was – he was an idol. I just saw him last week. tell who was you know he was an idol i just saw him last week i was doing adam sandler's new film a western uh the ridiculous six and harvey is in is in that and um just love him and uh he's really the reason that i got into the film because they were only doing auditions on the west coast they couldn't afford to come to new York and Harvey paid for Quentin and Lawrence Bender to come to New York. And he got in all these

New York actors. And I mean, I didn't know him but because they came to New York, I was able to get in on those auditions. And somehow I made it into the film. An actor that Gilbert and I like in that movie is Lawrence Tierney, who had a fascinating career as a tough guy on screen and off.

What was he like? Unfortunately, he was a little bit loopy. He got very distracted. Like when we were doing the scene where he's handing out the colors and he's telling us what we're going to do, he had a hard time memorizing his lines. And he could only do it like line by line and you had to sit there off camera straight as a board because if you scratched your nose you go what are you doing i'm trying to i'm trying to he's oh i'm sorry i my nose you know and everybody got upset with him. One by one, the actress got up and started to leave.

Really? Yeah. But I stuck it out. It was like me, Quentin, Chris Penn, and Eddie Bunker were the only ones left at the end. But we had to sit perfectly still. But he really pissed off everybody. And after the third day, Quentin fired him. He was so mad.

He fired him. Didn't know that. And Harvey said, you can't fire him. We just shot for three days. Right. But he was, yeah, he was He's good in the film. He was a handful. It's the fact that you get that performance out of him. He's amazing in the film. In spite of that.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. But first, a word from our sponsor. What happens when 20 extremely athletic Canadians who thrive on competition and won't settle for less than number one find themselves on a team? Taking on jaw-dropping obstacles all across Canada is one thing. and won't settle for less than number one, find themselves on a team. Taking on jaw-dropping obstacles all across Canada is one thing. Working together on a team with some pretty big personalities is another. It's a new season of Canada's Ultimate Challenge,

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on Canada's number one prepaid mobile provider, Chatter Mobile. Visit ChatterMobile.com for details. Do you know what I remember? This goes back to the September 11th. Okay, yes. After September 11th, for some reason, I don't know, I would stop by firehouses and say hi to the firemen. And I remember

at one firehouse I visited, the firemen said, yeah, people have been sending us stuff like socks. I don't know. We don't need any socks, but they keep sending us socks. And I said, oh, I could use some socks.

Why did I know where that was going? So I left with a big bag of socks because of September 11th. Well, that's another positive from September 11th. Do you still have the socks? He's wearing them. No, I sold them. It's Steve. Okay.

So for a New York actor. So you're Italian? Only on my father's Steve. Yeah, okay. So for a New York actor, who has to be... So you're Italian? Yeah. Only on my father's side. Oh. What's on your mother's side? My mom is... She's got Irish, English, I think some Dutch.

It's a real mix. We've had a lot of Guineas on this show. Oh, yeah. Danny Aiello. Yeah. Yes. Who else? Frankie Avalon. Frankie Avalon. Bobby Aiello. Yeah. Yes. Who else? Frankie Avalon.

Frankie Avalon. Bobby Rydell. Wow. That's three. I wouldn't say that's a lot. For me. And your co-host. But I was surprised that Mickey Dolenz, he said his dad was off the boat.

That is correct. Oh, wow. Yeah. And his mom was an actress. His mom was in B-movies. Yeah. You've actually listened to a previous episode of the Gilbert Gottfried podcast. I'm impressed, Steve.

That's a first. So how did Reservoir Dogs change everything? I mean, you didn't have to audition quite as much. You kind of went from being a working, stiff actor to star. No, no. as quite as much. You kind of went from being a working stiff actor to star. No, no. I mean, it just got me in the door to... I still had to audition, but it's so much easier

when people can connect your face and the name or if they've seen you in something because I'm terrible at auditioning. I'm awful. But after that, even if I gave a bad audition, they would at least go, well, he was good in that movie,

so maybe, you know. Right. Yeah, auditioning is so hard. Are you any better at it now than when you started? No, and thankfully, I haven't had to do it in years, but I never knew if I should prepare. Sometimes I would prepare and get in there and do okay, but other times I would be awful.

Like I remember I auditioned for, it was the Barry Levinson film. The one about the guys who do aluminum side. Tin Man. Tin Man. So I prepared this thing and I went in and I did it and he went, that was good, good.

Now let's try it like this and he gave me like a little bit of direction. I went, all right, and I did it the exact same way that – he looked at me and I looked at him and I went, that wasn't any different, right? He goes, no, that's okay. Were you reading for Dreyfuss' part or Danny DeVito's part? Do you remember? No, no. I think, you know who actually got the part that I did?

I think it was Seymour Cassell. Oh, your friend. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I later became friends with him. Yeah. Did a lot of films with, yeah. You would have been good in Tin Man.

Thanks. And one of your most memorable deaths was, of course, in Fargo. Yes. Getting the axe first. Thanks. And one of your most memorable deaths was of course in Fargo. Yes. Getting the axe first. Yeah. And then the wood chipper. Here's the thing. People say to me, I love that scene. You were so great in that wood chipper scene. I'm like,

really? So the one scene you weren't in. I know. That's what they like you best in. I love that. You are both goofy and terrifying in that movie, which is no small feat. That's the Coen brothers. Yes.

That's in the writing. Yeah. You manage to be kind of a cuddly, fun, warm character. Yeah. And just scary as all hell. And described twice in the movie as, oh, he's kind of funny looking. Yeah. Yeah.

I've told this story before, but when I read that in the script and I saw, oh, my character is funny looking, I went. And so I got Joel and Ethan on the phone and I said, hey, I was thinking maybe I could like do something with my nose. You know, like I could do something to – and there was like silence on the phone. And I went, or I can do nothing. And I went, oh, I guess I'm funny looking. All right. And I went, oh, I guess I'm funny looking. All right, all right.

Our mutual friend, Drew Friedman, who's a prominent illustrator and cartoonist, he's done the show. He is obsessed with when you say, who the fuck are you, when Harf Presnell shows up. Oh, yeah? So it's become a catchphrase around us. How did the Coens come into your life in the first place? I mean, because Miller's Crossing was your first. Yeah. So I auditioned for Miller's Crossing like in 1988, 89, I think that they filmed. You played Mink. That's one of my favorite movies. Mink. And I came in and I read and there was like five pages of just mink talking.

And so I just practiced. So that one I did practice, and I just talked really fast. And then they auditioned a lot of other actors. They brought me in about a month later. I did it again, and Ethan said, Well, you still say it the fastest. And that was it. And they gave me the role. it the fastest.

And that was it. And they gave me the role. And they're famous for not wanting their dialogue to be changed, for wanting it to be, you do everything that's pretty much in the script. Yeah, but you don't want to. I mean, it's such great dialogue that, yeah. That film in particular, they created a language. They created a whole world. Yeah.

You know, yeah. And the language. Give me the high hat. Yeah. And the rump. What's the rumpus? Yeah. They created a whole world. Yeah, and the language especially. Give me the high hat and what's the rumpus and all of that stuff. It's fascinating. So how do you say your name again? Just call me sir. Okay. Have you changed it since the beginning of the show? This is getting like the cab ride now.

It's just like the cab ride. So basically, we're both sitting, staring in front. And you're going, going hey how about those Beatles and I go yeah they were good yeah you know that I once chased down the guy who played Paul

in Beatlemania I saw him really he must have been scared. Well, he was with his girlfriend. And now here's – now I had seen Beatlemania and Grease. Those were the only like Broadway shows that I saw in the 70s. And then I don't know how this happened, but I was invited to go see the cast from Beatlemania.

Like those guys were playing at a college in New Jersey. Fairleigh Dickinson? That sounds right. Is that the name of it, right? Yeah. So I had a few drinks with me. I'm with my friends. We're walking through Times Square, and I see the guy who plays Paul McCartney.

He walks by me, and he's with his girlfriend. And I ran up to him, and I went, oh, my God. You are great. Hey, I saw you guys at Angie Dickinson's. And he and his girlfriend just bust out laughing at my face. You were close. Yeah. Me and his girlfriend just bust out laughing at my face.

You were close. Yeah. Speaking of that, do people yell moving lines at you? Like, shut the fuck up, Donnie. In the street? Yeah. You know, I'm surprised that doesn't happen as often as I thought it would. Really? Yeah.

Yeah, every once in a while. And mostly Coen Brothers stuff? Mostly Lebowski stuff? Yeah. Yeah. I would say that's true. What do they do to you when they walk up to you in the street, Gilbert? Your pants? Yeah, every once in a while. And mostly Coen Brothers stuff? Mostly Lebowski stuff? Yeah, yeah. I would say that's true. What do they do to you when they walk up to you in the street, Gilbert? Your pants?

Is it Aflac? Is it just... Yeah, yeah. Oh, they'll go, I have something in this hand. And if you give me, you know, that whole scene I do in Beverly Hills Cop 2. So after Fargo, you're not auditioning for the Coens anymore. I love it that Gilbert only has a casual knowledge of my career. It's kind of like... Go ahead, Frank.

I'm really enjoying talking to you. It's kind of like I'm sitting here the whole time going, ah, I think I've seen him in something. I know him. Either he lives in my building or he's an actor. I don't know. I think he looks familiar. Okay.

Frank. Did you see me in a Snickers commercial, perhaps? Oh, yeah. I want to ask her about the Snickers commercial. Please do, Frank. Please. Frank. Frank Please do. Please. Frank just handed me a card of stuff to ask you. I think he just handed you my Wikipedia page.

I don't use Wikipedia. It's too unreliable. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. We ask this of every guest. So while he's putting his glasses on... Oh, thank God. Can I ask then? Yeah, go ahead. Why do we ask

every guest? We ask what they watched as a kid. What movies you fell in love with as a kid. What TV shows. Because you're a New York kid like us. You probably watch some of the same. Oh, absolutely. Please say the Danny Thomas shows. I love the Danny Thomas show. I was in love with... No, I was in love with... No, no. Please say the Danny Thomas shows. I love the Danny Thomas show.

I was in love with... No, I was in love with... No, no. What did you watch? I know you watched the Carson show. And Danny Kaye and Laurence Olivier used to finger each other's assholes. Well, you've just ruined Hans Christian Andersen. I should say.

So frank. Not to mention White Christmas. Yes. I used to watch The Honeymooners. It was probably my earliest memory of watching TV. But I lived in Brooklyn at the time in East New York, and my dad was on the sanitation. So I'd see this guy in a uniform, not unlike what my dad was on the sanitation like it's you know so I'd see this guy in a uniform you know not unlike like what my dad wore and um lots of arguing and yelling and I thought it was

a documentary like you know this is just about Brooklyn life um I remember seeing the first episode of Gilligan's Island you know and the black and white version yeah and being upset like that they were I didn't know it was a comedy. Not wondering why Thurston Howell took all his money on a three-hour tour. Gilligan's Island, Patty Duke. Sure. That Girl. What else?

Created by our friend Bill Persky, who was one of our guests. Yeah. I used to watch a lot of TV. And, of course, Three Stooges and Little Rascals. Did you watch Officer Joe Bolton and Captain Jack McCarthy and all the stuff that we used to watch? And I loved when he would actually bring them on. You know, when he would have Moe Howard and Larry Fonda. Yeah, sure.

Yeah, I remember one episode as a kid sitting there. And it opens up and Moe is standing under his picture. Oh, wow. And I was so excited. Officer Joe brought Moe on? Yeah. We had Chuck McCann on the show, too. Oh, I love him, too.

Yeah, I used to watch him all the time. Another New York icon. Yeah. We used to watch TV, like, it seems like that's all I did as a kid. Oh, me too. I mean, yeah, I guess we would be outside and play and stuff. But we would spend hours in front of the TV. I remember not only TV shows but they had so many old movies on.

Yes. Movies that shouldn't have been on in like the afternoon. Like I remember seeing like Crime in the Streets. Oh, yes. Yeah. Like on TV and like in the afternoon. Like the remember seeing you know like Crime in the Streets you know. Oh yes, yeah. Like on TV and like in the afternoon. Like the 430 movie? Yeah.

Rebel Without a Cause. I remember seeing you know like the afternoon movie. The Million Dollar Movie I think it was called. Right. Yeah. A lot of movies.

Well you were a Carson fan too weren't you? You were a Tonight Show person? Yeah. Johnny Carson loved watching that. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like

but everybody watched those shows, right? And now when I think of it, they were like, how did we do it? We had school the next day. With four channels. You know what was a strange thing that I realized back then is everybody the next day had something in common because we all watch. It wasn't a billion stations. There were like three i know

that's true yeah everybody had something to talk about everybody saw the same thing yeah you could stop anyone in the street and go hey did you see like get smart last night or whatever smart i love that show yeah we had barbara felton we had on wow Wow. 99. I mentioned Angela Cartwright, right? Oh! Space. Oh, we just had on Billy Mummy. Yeah, I know. We had Billy Mummy last week. Loved him.

Billy Mummy was in my favorite. No, it's Moomy, right? Moomy. He was in my. Moomy? Moomy. Yeah. He was in my.

And how do you see? And who's Sammy? Just remember Moo and Boo. He was in my favorite Twilight Zone when the phone, remember, his grandmother dies. Yes. And she gives him this phone. We talked to him about it. Oh, my God.

The toy phone. The toy phone, yeah. I like the one, his other Twilight Zone, where he was with Jack Klugman. And Jack Klugman plays a guy whose son dies in Vietnam but he wants one more day with him oh my god I don't know this yeah oh it's a great one what's the name of that one something for praise of Pip

yeah it's great it's touching he made three he made that one and the one you're talking about long distance call is the name of the one where he calls his grandmother the third one is the one where he controls – It's a good life. Yes.

Where he wishes people into the cornfield, where he's the kid. He's the little demon kid. They tried to remake it in the movie, too. You just reminded me of an Alfred Hitchcock Presents episode where a kid, like a little demon kid, episode where a kid, like a little demon kid, if he had your picture and he scraped your picture, a mark would

appear on your face. It was the scariest thing I had ever seen. It sounds familiar. The Man from U.N.C.L.E. I loved. Sure. That was a great show. It was big news when Ilya Koryakin David McCallum's character. He got married in Valley Stream, David McCallum's character. He got married in Valley Stream, which is where I grew up.

Yeah. He married a local girl. That was like huge. That is big news. Huge. Let's talk about the Hutsucker proxy a little bit. Okay. And Donnie.

Donnie, yeah. Hutsucker was fun. I only had – yeah, I just – I had that one scene. I was the beatnik bartender. Yeah. That was the only line I ever tried to change because they had me say, we don't serve alcohol. Alcohol. I said, Ethan, I don't – did people really say that?

I said, can I say just alcohol? And he was, no, no, just say alcohol. Oh, I misspoke. I didn't mean Donnie. I meant, well, Donnie's your character in The Big Lebowski. But in the Hutt Sucker Proxy, you have that great scene where you say, martinis are for squares, man. Oh, that's right.

Which I loved. See, I forget this stuff. I'm a Coen Brothers freak. But since I mentioned Donnie, just talk a little bit about The Lebowski. I want to know what kind of set they run. I mean, is it a loose set? Because you look at a movie like that and you say these guys have to be having fun. They are.

But what's funny about them is that they're kind of nothing like the characters that are in their films. I mean, they are like the calmest guys. They're so just laid back and down to earth. But they storyboard everything. I don't know if they still do. So everything is sort of mapped out. And yet within that context, you still feel like the actors are allowed to contribute. But I think in their films, the casting is everything.

I think – and I just love them. They just – it just goes by really – it's just easy. There's a lot of beeping here. Is that me? I think it's a video camera. We'll cut that out. OK. I have a pacemaker.

I'm leaving. Oh, yeah. So don't microwave anything while we're sitting here. This happens to me, though, sometimes. So Living in Oblivion is a film I did where I play a director who's making a low-budget movie. And at the end of it, there's that beeping sound. And he goes crazy with this beeping sound. And this has followed me around ever since.

We talked about Tom DiCello. Yeah, I like that film. He was the writer-director on that. But that has followed me around. Usually on any set that I'm on, or like today, I hear a beeping sound that will drive me crazy. What do you know about this thing I found on the internet, this webtoon called Las Crónicas de Steve Buscemi?

Are you familiar with this? No, I don't know. You'll have to look. There is a group, like this guy in Belgium has a group called Buscemi. Is that it? Well, this is a series of webtoons that are in Spanish with a caricature of you. Oh, yeah. My wife showed me that.

Yeah. Very, very strange. Yes. There's a lot of weird. There's a lot of strange things. There's a lot of weird Buscemi-related stuff on the web. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know what to say about that. Now, I have a list of names to ask you about. Oh, yeah? Okay. Just people recollection. Okay. And be fun. All right. Well, Danny Thomas.

Who else do you got? Danny K. George Olivier. You didn't work with Danny Kaye? Never worked with Danny Kaye. Shocked. Surprised. Gosh.

Or else. You'd have to sit on an inner tube to turn this engine. Now, if only you'd had this conversation in the cab. Yeah. That would have been a good cab ride. Yeah, it would have been less awkward. Hey. So you worked?

Yes. Has he been drinking? I wish. You worked with Christopher Walken. I did? King of New York? King of New York. I did. You're Walken I did? King of New York I did, you're right, I did the man has made a hundred movies Gilbert

cut him some slack see, even you don't know your career that makes two of us this is why I feel like I really wasn't in that movie so I get a call from Abel Ferrarrar and he says – he's doing this movie, King of New York. He wants me to be in it but it's starting next week. I thought, oh.

And what happened was he realized – either somebody dropped out or something but he wanted me to be in this gang. I think he wanted like one other white guy in this all-black gang. But he didn't tell anybody. So I show up for the wardrobe fitting, and they were so surprised to see me because the wardrobe that they gave me was like, well, we thought you were going to be a black guy. We don't have time to do any shopping.

So here, just wear this. And then I think once I got on set, Abel, he was like, I think I made a mistake with this Bashemi guy. And he would – we would come into a room and he'd tell me, all right, now you guys, you stand here and good. You know, Larry Fishburne and all that and Giancarlo Esposito. Bashemi, you all got to like come forward. Some of you can hang in the back. He would like point to me and he'd keep pointing way in the back until i was like out the door practically

he's like the camera sees everything and i'm like but i can't see the camera i know i'm not and uh that's why i felt like i you know so i didn't really have any scenes with Chris. I was in a couple of scenes with him, but he was great. He really loves to put in a little dance move in any movie he does. Yeah, well, I think he started out wanting to be a song and dance man. But I think he was. He was a hooker. Yeah. In what's McCall?

Oh, Pennies from Heaven. Yeah. He does a hoofer. Yeah. In what's McCall? Oh, Pennies from Heaven. Yeah. He does a great dancing. Great. But I do remember that in King of New York. There's always he's doing a little twirl at various points. Yeah. Oh, William Hickey.

See, now, we were in a movie, Tales from the Dark Side, but I was not in his segment. Ah. Had you watched the movie. Yeah. Tales from the Dark Side, but I was not in his segment. Ah. Had you watched the movie? It's a long list, Steve. So you've been in movies. I've been in movies. Okay.

Albert Finney. You ever even watch a movie with Albert Finney in it? Big Fish. You see, I'm terrible. I forgot to tell you that I'm a terrible guest. I don't have good stories about people. No, no, you've proven it. It's just okay. He's a terrible host.

It works out. And this is a terrible interview. So you see, it all works together. You can name anybody. You can name anybody. You can name anybody. And all I'll say is, yeah, he was fun. That was good. We're not even recording right now.

Can I have a do-over? That's what Danny Kaye and Laurence Olivier used to do. They would have a do-over backstage. There have to be names on that list of people that were in scenes with him. Damn it. Keith Carradine. Have you ever seen a movie with John Carradine? And we'll take that.

You really are picking films. Have you ever seen John Carradine as Dracula? And we'll go with that for an answer. You can just go, yeah, his father played Dracula in House of Frankenstein. He was good. How about Joey Pants, Joe Pantoliano? Okay, so the first time I worked with Joe Pantoliano was in a film. I'm not going to remember.

It was called Zandalee. It was in New Orleans. And he played a transvestite. He was like in drag the whole film. You're nodding your head, but I know you haven't seen this film. I've seen it years ago. Really? Yeah.

I saw Tree's Lounge. I've seen a lot of stuff. I can promise you I haven't seen the film or anything else you've been in. I think I saw Zandali on VHS. Yeah. Yeah. That would have been about right. Yeah.

And that's really all you can say. We'll get away from that list. You've never... Ned Beatty? Ned Beatty. He did a movie called Ed and His Dead Mother. Ed and His Dead Mother. That one I have definitely seen. Yes.

And sometimes he would give me a ride to work in the morning. Nice guy. Nice guy. That's a pretty fascinating story. Isn't that a fascinating story? Was it a better ride than the one with Gilbert? Yes. He would talk to me.

He would say, good morning, Steve. How are you? How are you today? How's your family? Where are you from, Steve? He had a general interest in me. So Ned Beatty cares more about other people than I do. Yes. Or basically about you.

I know nothing about your career, and I don't care. I know you have not seen anything past 1975. That's true, generally speaking. I'm sorry I was not in the Brady Bunch. I wanted to be. I never got into the Brady Bunch. No? No.

Maybe because you're old. You're older. You're older. I was the right age, I think. I wanted to be in that family. So you were thrilled when they called to ask you to play Jan Brady. I did. Yeah.

I did a Snickers commercial. Very funny. Danny Trejo plays Marsha Brady, and at the end, I'm Jan Brady. Super Bowl spot. He was just nodding very politely. He wasn't watching the Super Bowl either. It was very funny, Gil. Take my word for it. It was good.

What would you like to talk about? Steve, we've got some cards left. What do we have? Do you want to talk about Ghost World or all the directors you've worked with? Would you like to do anything from here? I would... You know what I'm really good at is shadow puppets. Anything from here. I would.

I'm you know what I'm really good at is shadow. No, no shadow puppets. So, OK. All right. I'm going to if you could just imagine. Oh, my God. That looks like Lincoln. No, it's Nixon. It's Nixon.

You see how the thumb. Oh, that's right. That's Nixon's nose. You see how the thumb? Oh, that's right. That's Nixon's nose. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. Planning for a summer road trip?

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conversation. Try the new creamy parmesan and bacon quarter pounder today and discover how words are so unnecessary. For a limited time only at participating McDonald's restaurants in Canada. On the Ed Sullivan show, they used to have those shadow guys on. I know. I used to see them. And I always thought it was cheating. Sometimes they would hold something in their hand.

Really? Yeah. That was like some curved piece of paper or something. That's how they did it, right? Yeah, well, that was cheating. Yeah. But the others could do it with their hands, as did Danny Kaye and Lawrence O'Leary. He always goes back there.

Did you play with puppets as a kid? Do I have this right? Or is this bad internet research? No, I had a Jerry Mahoney doll. Oh, a knucklehead Smith and Jerry Mahoney. Yeah. So I was... Yeah, I used to watch Mahoney doll. Oh, a knucklehead Smith and Jerry Mahoney. Yeah. Paul Winslow. Yeah, I used to watch that show a lot.

Yeah, I wanted to be a ventriloquist when I was in the sixth grade. Yeah, Winslow Mahoney. Yeah. Hooray, hurrah, it's Winslow Mahoney time. It's Winslow Mahoney time. Let's have some fun. Hooray, hurrah, we're glad everybody's here. Come on, let us give a cheer for everyone.

Get ready in your places. Put on your happy faces. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Hooray, hurrah, shish, boom, bah. Scotty, waddy, doo, doo. Scotty, waddy, doo, doo. Scotty, waddy, doo, doo, dah. I remember that part.

It's amazing. Was it Knucklehead Smith? Knucklehead Smith. The other side. And Paul Winchell went on to, do you know this? He invented the artificial heart. How about that? Paul Winchell.

How about that? He just, I don't know, he got screwed on the thing. Really? But he invented the first artificial heart. Or some version of the artificial heart. Was he trying to get one of his dummies to come alive?

Why would he do that? So you had a Jerry Mahoney puppet? Yes. With the string in the back. I think our friend Tom Leopold has a Jerry Mahoney puppet. Now here's an obscure one.

I remember Paul Winchell had like a woman doll puppet that was like some Jewish woman. Really? And he used to talk in like an accent. Like a Sylvia Miles puppet? Yeah, yeah, kind of, yeah.

Very strange. I don't remember that. I remember he would come down on a slide to open the show. Oh, yes. The Scotty Waddy Doo Doo. I heard he's got it patented. He used to draw a face on his chin and be upside down. That was his? Then the nose and the rest of the face were covered.

You will never do another show like this one, Steve. I'll tell you right now. Paul Winchell, Danny Kaye, and the rest of your career. I'm learning things this morning. I'm learning things. You know what I realized? This is good. I know a hell of a lot more about Paul Winchell than Steve Buscemi.

You can't get Paul Winchell. Paul Winchell is going to be a long-distance call, buddy. I ran out of questions after asking him how to pronounce his name. But Paul Winchell, I could spend another five days on. Oh, God. Okay. I'd like to ask you about directing. Okay. My wife is a big 30 Rock fan.

We watch you on 30 Rock and watch the episodes that you directed. Thank you. And this is a dumb question, but of all the directors that you watched work over the years, the Coens, Robert Benton, John Carpenter, Tarantino, Tim Burton, do you pick up a little bit from each of them? Do you watch them? Do you just have your own thing? You know, all the directors, like the really good ones that I've worked with, I think what they're really good at is making everybody feel like they're collaborating.

Unlike Abel Ferrara. I love Abel. Stand in the back. I love Abel. Right. Yeah, you know, it's – I don't direct enough. I mean, so every time I do it, I'm like scared to death. I just directed an episode of Portlandia.

And it couldn't have been like the most welcoming set and I love Fred and Carrie. But I was still so scared. It's – and I just wish that I could do it more. But I think the reason that I want to do it is because I secretly want to play every part. I see. So no danger of you transitioning into it full time. I would love to. I would like to direct more and come back and do your show in another ten years so Grygert could not have seen the movies I directed, too.

I can virtually guarantee that. I have no interest in your career whatsoever. I'm going to do the Danny Thomas story. Now you got me. You sucked me into this. Yes. Well, that's what Danny Kaye and Lawrence Olivier would suck each other into. Well, I would like to know. For the record, I don't care.

Gilbert doesn't care. I'd like to know a lot, but we're never going to get to it. But let me ask if you're still doing your AOL show, which is a lot of fun. I'm doing, yes, Park Bench, where I interview people on a park bench. We were going to have Gilbert Godfrey. I would advise against it. Rethink it, Steve.

No, I'm going to have Gilbert on. And, yeah, so we do it in parks around the city, but we also have our own bench and we bring the bench into various like we to Julian Schnabel's house

or we brought it into the Rubin Museum and I interviewed a Buddhist nun and lots of laughs in that one check it out I didn't see that one

but I saw the Dick Cavett episode the Dick Cavett episode with Debbie Harry Debbie Harry where I was basically trying to learn from Dick Cavett

you know because he is the best. His show was incredible. What a show. We had him on. He was our first guest. Him I was interested in. You were actually intimidated to talk to Dick Cavett. I was. I mean, come on. Anybody that I meet that I knew as a kid, that I watched as a kid, I get really nervous around.

That's refreshing that even at this stage, after 100 films, that you're not jaded by the – Yeah, no. I get nervous around people. I get nervous around Gilbert. I get nervous around people. I get nervous around Gilbert. But for other reasons. Before we run off.

I just came for the lunch. I was promised lunch. It's a good lunch. We should say we're at the Friars Club, too. I don't remember anyone you've ever worked with. I don't. And I have no idea what you do for a living. So. And I just want to talk about Paul Winshow.

Well, here's something you both have in common. What? Please. You could relate to. What? You both do a fair amount of cartoon voiceover work. We do. Yes.

Yeah. And you were in Monsters University and Monster Zinc and Monster House, written by Dan Harmon, who's one of our guests, and many other things. Yes. This is... I'm on. Yes. This is – I'm on a card. This is – Wait.

G-Force? Igor? Charlotte's Web, which I saw. You did. Yes, with John Cleese. That was intimidating to do like – Was Keith Carradine in it by any chance? I kept wanting to do like a Paul Lin voice for Charlotte's Web, but they didn't want that.

Oh, really? Now there's a throwback. Well, he played the original. Of course. Of course. What was the character's name? Templeton. Templeton the Rat.

Yes. Okay, good. Now I can tell my Paul Lynn story again. Have at it. Oh, please. Steve will appreciate it. Paul Lynn's story again. Have at it.

Oh, please. Steve will appreciate it. Paul Lynn was once being brought into some dinner theater production of something and he went in and it looked like a barn

and Paul Lynn disgusted goes, this place smells like a cunt. I think. Oh, my God. That's good. The story that keeps on giving.

I know about Paul Lynn. Anything you want to know about Paul Lynn, I can tell you on the other hand. I don't know about Paul Lynn. I can tell you on the other hand. Well, this has been the Comedy Central roast of Steve Buscemi. I'm going to go over to Gilbert's house now and get some of those socks. I think you owe me at least that. Tell us what's coming up.

I know you're making another Sandler picture. We did, yes. I did Adam Sandler's movie, The Ridiculous Six. I did another movie called... Well, you know what's out now? I don't know when

this is going to air, but I did... The Cobbler's out now. The Cobbler. Tom McCarthy, brilliant filmmaker. He did Win-Winbler is out now. The Cobbler. Tom McCarthy, brilliant filmmaker. He did Win-Win. Box of Moonlight.

The Station Agent. Did he direct that? No. That was Tom – That was Tom Chillo. I'm sorry. That was with the midget. I'm getting them confused.

That was – Station. Yeah, Station. Good film. Yes. That was the midget movie. God. Don't get him on that.

The Cobbler. The Cobbler. Yes. Adam Sandler him on that. The cobbler. Yes. Adam Sandler's in it. Yeah. And then I just did a movie with this Israeli director, Joseph Seder, called Oppenheimer Strategies with Richard Gere. And I play a rabbi in that one. So you're working constantly. Yes.

And more episodes of – I'm just making loads of shit. Gilbert has no interest in seeing... I actually... This is how I choose my parts. I go, I don't know. I think Gilbert might like this one. Maybe I shouldn't do it. What would Gilbert hate?

What would he just look at the ad and go, I'm never going to see that. Why? Who would want to see this? Who the fuck are the Coen brothers anyway? I'm not going to see this. That's how I've chosen my roles over the years. It was from that cab ride from long ago. It just made such an impression.

The cab ride should have warned you. It should have given you an indication of what today would be like. You hoped for different. You were disappointed. And more episodes of Park Bench. More episodes of Park Bench that we're going to do in April. I should say it's a very funny premise. It's you and your

brother, and your brother is doing a competing show. My brother has a competing show called Bench Talk. It's very funny. No surprise, I've never seen this. It's going to be great. I can't wait to have you on the bench, Gilbert.

That's what Danny Kaye said to Lawrence Olivier. Google it when you get home, Steve. I know it. I know it already. I know it already. Danny Thomas said, I can't wait to get under the bench. There's a great clip of Malcolm McDowell actually telling this story. Danny Kay and Olivier at the London airport.

So apparently it really happened. Although when Malcolm McDowell tells it, he says that Laurence Olivier stuck his finger in Danny Kay's ass. I had heard that Danny Kay stuck his finger in Danny Kaye's ass. I had heard that Danny Kaye stuck his finger in Olivier's ass.

If you had a guess. It's like Rashomon. Everyone has a version. But Malcolm McAllister said he witnessed this? Yeah. He didn't say he witnessed it. In an airport? It's supposedly in an airport.

I would like to think that both Danny Kaye and Lawrence Olivier had their fingers in each other's assholes the same amount of time because it was an equal relationship. There's something sweet about that. That they cared enough about each other to shove their fingers in each other's assholes exactly the right amount of time. What more can you ask for from a relationship? And I want

to say, I know more about Lawrence Olivier and Danny Kaye's fingers in each other's assholes than I know about Steve Buscemi's girl. Oh, well. Okay. I think he's had enough punishment.

Okay. So when this is edited together, it'll be like 13 minutes. Yeah. We'll be thinking of it like a Segway episode. Like one to put between. Funny sound effects. Let's get some Spike Jonze. You always hurt the ones you love.

I can tell you more about Spike Jonze. And Paul Winchell. And Paul Winchell. And Willie Tyler and Lester. And Farfel. Danny O'Day and Farfel? Yes. Yeah.

And what was the other guy? Faithful. What was the other guy who worked with puppets? Sherry Lewis. No. Senior Wences? That was his hand. No, there was another.

A guy who worked with puppets. A name like Feidel or Feidel. Feibisch Finkel? No, no. I'm just throwing. But I can tell. See, now Feibisch Finkel. Fivish Finkel? No, no I'm just throwing I can tell See now Fivish Finkel Fivish Finkel

I think he's in the club right now I could spin Bring him up here Gilbert would like that Well the problem is You're one of the youngest guests We've had Steve And if you

If you come back when you're 80 There's a much better chance Of him him taking more in an active interest. You're like talking to a fetus on this show. So I guess I should do now what I should have done right after I got the pronunciation of your name. And that's wrap up the show.

Okay. I'm out of cards. Okay. Okay. Hi, I'm Gilbert of cards. Okay. Okay. Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried. I know how to pronounce that. And this has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast. Except today.

I'm sorry. Next week, we're having Broderick Crawford. And I'll have loads to talk to him about. That's another toll call, buddy. We'll be talking to Dwight Frye in two weeks from now. But today, we've been saddled with... Actor Steve Buscemi. But we learned the correct pronunciation of his name.

I had a wonderful time here today, and I hope you still come on part 10. I'd like to thank you, Steve, and apologize at the same time. No, I apologize. I'm sorry I didn't know enough about Danny Kaye and Lawrence Olivier. Or Paul Winchell. Yes.

That was great. Thanks for doing it, buddy. Thank you so much, guys.