Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Lewis Black

Episode Date: October 5, 2020

Actor, playwright and Grammy-winning comedian Lewis Black returns to the podcast to discuss the creativity of Pixar, the cinema of Barry Levinson, the timelessness of "Dr. Strangelove" and the poli...tical comedy of Mort Sahl, Dick Gregory, Paul Krassner and the Smothers Brothers. Also, Christopher Walken cracks a joke, Ruth Buzzi meets Michael Corleone, Ed Sullivan chews out Jackie Mason and Lewis tours the Middle East with Robin Williams. PLUS: Topo Gigio! Saluting Joe Grifasi! George Carlin leaves a message! The musical satire of Mark Russell! And Lewis sings the praises of the National Comedy Center! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:45 deserve. Let us help you plan every detail with professionalism and compassion. We are your local Dignity Memorial provider. Find us at DignityMemorial.ca. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre. Our guest this week is an old friend back for a return visit. The guy's so busy and spends so much time on the road that it took a worldwide pandemic to rebook him. But here he is. He's a writer, playwright, best-selling author, social critic, occasional actor, and voiceover actor, and one of the most popular and admired stand-up comedians of the last half century. As an actor, you've seen him on TV shows like Law & Order, Homicide, Life on the Streets, The Big Bang Theory, and the TV movie Madoff, and in films like
Starting point is 00:02:16 Hannah and Her Sisters, Unaccompanied Minors, Man of the Year, and of course, the voice of anger in Pixar's animated hit Inside Out. How did he ever wind up with that role? He's written three best-selling books, released Grammy-winning comedy albums, and written and starred in numerous stand-up specials, including Black on Broadway, the Emmy-nominated Red, White, and Screwed, Stark Raving Black, In God We Rust, Old Yella, Live at the Borgata, and Black to the Future. Live at the Borgata and Black to the Future. Since 1996, he's appeared in regular segments on the daily shows, back in black segments, ranting about everything from parenting to summer camps to electric scooters.
Starting point is 00:03:21 His newest special, Thanks for Risking Your Life, can be seen on October 6th and is available through iTunes, Amazon Prime, Google Play, and wherever comedy is sold. He's also hosting his own podcast, Louis Black's Brandcast, and available on Apple Podcasts. Now, please welcome back to the show one of the funniest humans alive and the only stand-up comedian louder than yours truly. And a man who says each of us is full of shit in our own special way.
Starting point is 00:04:10 We are all shitty little snowflakes. The hilarious Louis Black. Louis, was some of that accurate? All of it. Oh, good. Yeah, no, we can. I think that's the whole show. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:28 If you could do that and then just get some clips of me. So much things. Clips doing laundry. Yeah, I know. Just little clips of stuff. And in between, you know, like, you know, the inside out thing, you know, just a little thing here and there and we're done. That was a tremendous narration. Did I pronounce any of your credits correctly?
Starting point is 00:04:55 You did. You did. I thought you would actually, I thought you were going to pass out. The fact that you were trying to do it in one breath was really impressive. You were doing what I do, which is you kind of, you start, you go, you went, holy fuck. I'm going to keep going?
Starting point is 00:05:14 I'm just going to keep going. I'm going to keep talking. I'm going to keep talking until I, I'm not going to stop talking until I get to the end. Where's the comma? How come there's no fucking comma? How come there's no comma in this? Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Yeah, it was one of those things where you stop going and go, ooh, I have to breathe at some point. How does this? I got to thank Lewis for being part, Gilbert, if you remember, of our sixth anniversary show. Lewis was kind enough to make a video. Yes. For us. So that was very sweet of you. We appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:05:48 I'm sorry, I couldn't make it. That's okay. You're always busy. And you haven't been here in five years. Can you believe that? No, I can't. It's 2015. We did a live show at Caroline's.
Starting point is 00:05:56 I can't believe this podcast has been on that long. It's been on for six, over six. That's, yeah, it is amazing that you turn around now and you go, really? It was 10 months. It was 150. You know, you kind of go, holy, time is completely suspended. And then not just because of this fucking pandemic. It is like six years passes now like that.
Starting point is 00:06:22 I know. It is like six years passes now like that. I know. No, you know, when I notice how time has passed is when I'll read about a movie or watch a movie on TV and I'll think, oh, this is a movie I saw like two years ago. And then I find that it came out 20 years ago. Yeah, I know. That hurts. Yeah. The one that, yeah, what was it? I think it was just recently accepted.
Starting point is 00:06:58 I think somebody in the dentist's office, which is where my life is, that's the level of excitement my life is at. That's where I go to entertain now. And so that came out in like 2006, I think, or something. And I was like, it can't possibly have been that long ago. I know. It's just unbelievable to me. Yeah. Gilbert, our first show was Dick Cavett sitting in your dining room in New York. Yes.
Starting point is 00:07:21 And it's almost seven years ago. And he's still sitting there. He's still there. We never told him we were leaving. Well, he hasn't finished the story. Oh, you know Dick. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:40 Yeah, he's one of those guests we have on and just go, he'll fill up the time. We can take a nap. Before, and you know, Lou, we'll jump around to everything. We want to talk about, we'll talk about the new special a lot. But I didn't know this about you. I found out that you were a big fan of a show that we talk, a movie we talk about a lot on this podcast, which is Dr. Strangelove.
Starting point is 00:08:03 I love Dr. Strangelove. I love Dr. Strangelove. Maybe the best black comedy ever made. Yeah. No, I thought the Jeffersons. Cut that out! Oh, wow. Lewis, tell him he can't say that in 2020. I can't.
Starting point is 00:08:19 I'm not the one. I'm not the judge. I can't. Then people will yell at me. How come you're telling him? You shouldn't be able to tell him. There are other people who are supposed to tell him. We just had Malcolm McDowell on, and we were talking a lot about Kubrick.
Starting point is 00:08:37 You look at that movie, and it's, again, talk about old things. What is that, 1963, 64? Something like that. Timelier than ever. No, it always works. The scenes are perfect. There isn't a bad scene in that movie. It's the war room.
Starting point is 00:08:57 Yeah. All of the acting. George C. Scott's extraordinary. What's his name? Sterling Hayden. Great. Our natural essence, you know, that you've got to drink a certain kind of, you know, it was like it's the water, the fluoridation of the water. Yes. Which when I was a kid, and I don't know, Gilbert, if you're old enough to remember that fluoride in the water was such a big, they made that.
Starting point is 00:09:23 Oh, boy, they, you know, they're fluoridating our water, you know, but that'll do. It was the first of these fucking conspiracy theories, as opposed to the fact that it might help my teeth, which it didn't. But, you know, but it was like, you know, and then he took it that step further of like, it undermined his virility. It was spectacular. Also a nod to Terry Southern. Yes. Yeah. You like those character actors the way we do? Slim Pickens, Hayden. Oh my God. And Scott, of course. He brought
Starting point is 00:09:51 Slim Pickens out. You know, I mean, that was just, and to put him on the back of a bomb, riding it down. It's just, it's just fantastic. Can watch that anytime. And you can watch, Hank and I were talking, our mutual friend, Hank Gallo, and I said, what does Lewis do on the road to kill all that time? And then I asked you, if you watch movies, you said The Godfather is something anywhere, Godfather 1 or 2, anywhere, anytime, you cannot turn it off. Well, I mean, if I stumble on it and whatever scene is on, I go, oh, I remember that scene. And then I just, the next thing I know, 45 minutes have passed. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:30 And even if it's got fucking commercials. Yeah, me too. Me too. And I think I like Godfather 2 better. You may be right. It's really, it's, you may be right. I'd have to go, well, now I'm going to actually that gives me something to do. Thank you. I'm going to write that down. That's an activity.
Starting point is 00:10:55 It's deeper and richer a little bit. And now let's talk about a really rich topic. Godfather 3. Whoa. Whoa, boy. He's recutting it. Yeah, that was in the news. What do you mean, he's recutting it? Coppola is recutting it and I assume reissuing it. As a collage? I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Are there any good scenes in that movie? Replacing Sofia Coppola with Ruth Buzzi. No idea. She hits Al Pacino with her purse. Yeah, that was just, you went in and it was like, and you also knew within like eight minutes. Yeah. That it was a disaster. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:43 and knew within like eight minutes that it was a disaster. Yeah. Well, what the great screenwriter William Goldman called whores movies, you know, sequels made just for the money, just for the buck. And to Coppola's credit, he resisted it for decades. But something must have come up. The Vineyard needed money. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:12:03 I was going to say, or he was packaging spaghetti sauce. And in three, they kept, somebody said, I thought it was the best quote the critics said, that lines would pop up in three, like make him an offer he can't refuse and stuff, where they said it sounds like punchlines in the movie. We had Joe Mantegna here a couple of weeks ago, and the subject came up, and Gilbert and I were on our best behavior. Which wasn't easy with that movie. Wow.
Starting point is 00:12:36 You have to be polite to the guests. Especially, you know, he did a third one. What I find intriguing is I did, one of the things I thought, well, there did a third one. But what I find intriguing is, is I did, one of the things I told him, there'll be a sequel to something like Inside Out. Well, there's not going to be a sequel to Inside Out. So, you know, cause I thought, well, there's, you know, boy, that'll be big. Well, no, that's not going to happen.
Starting point is 00:13:00 And I, you know, people always say, are they going to do a sequel? Yeah. They'll do it. By the time they do the sequel, they'll be they'll come to my grave. I'll be shooting it at the gravesite and then and then accepted, which I thought would have a sequel, really would have one. Because it was right up. It was that kind of movie and it would seem to fit but everybody all of the kids that were in it blake lively jonah hill justin long literally after that movie all had major major career that's true well wait a minute has the pixar i mean there was a there was a sequel to the incredibles there was a sequel to monsters inc and certainly toy story and finding nemo so is is Inside Out a sequel out of the question?
Starting point is 00:13:45 I think so. Interesting. Part of the problem is that I would have to, my character would have to transition. Because what was interesting is that in the young girl in that movie, in that animation, it was a mixture of male and female voices, right? Right, right, right. The male and the female characters, the parents, just had male characters and female characters in their heads.
Starting point is 00:14:14 So the female was just all female. The male was all male. So for that to, so if she's, and she's just hitting puberty, well, then I would be, you know, basically my character would have to be anger in transition. We've lost him. Yeah. Yeah. Frank didn't like that.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Frank was really upset by that. Yeah. I think he just can't handle some people. He waited his whole life inside out. He was waiting and waiting, and all he wanted, really, was to get that scoop. He's sensitive about Pixar. I just wanted to get up and get this. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:14:58 I bought this down in Disney World. Wow. I said to my wife, let's buy this. We'll send it to Louis. That was three years ago. Well, that's terrific. I could have gotten you that for, you know, 20% off.
Starting point is 00:15:12 I'm holding up a pin from the Disney parks of Louis's character, Anger. Yeah, they, and everybody always goes, oh, you must get a lot of money off of the, you know, they sell the stuff,
Starting point is 00:15:25 you know, they sell all the things, you know, that the stores, you must get a lot of money. You get no money from that. Nothing, huh? No. Nothing. Gilbert, you got no Iago? No, no. Nothing, huh?
Starting point is 00:15:35 Nothing. Wow. No, what they sell is immortality, right? Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Oh, yes, yes. Yeah, that's it exactly where they say, oh, isn't that something that you'll live on forever?
Starting point is 00:15:51 Yeah. And I think, well, no, I'd rather the character die than I live on. So you are both part of the Disney lore now. Both iconic characters. Now, Lewis iconic characters. Now, Lewis, you have no kids, but do kids. I have imaginary kids. Well, sometimes, you know, they just underestimate my ability to see things. Gilbert, you've gotten a lot of mileage over the years with kids.
Starting point is 00:16:23 Oh, yes. Out of Iago. And I want to know if that happens with Lewis. Every so often for a while I did. And then but it's funny. I didn't really. A lot of it was parents would bring the kids to see me because the kids liked anger. But really, it was because the parents really liked me. the fact that I yelled and screamed and said fuck a lot. So we have something in common. Yeah. There is some irony in the fact that two of the least politically correct comedians in the world voiced lovable children's characters.
Starting point is 00:17:07 Yeah. I mean, that's irony writ large. Yeah, no, but it's true because, you know, that's it. We're just presenting, really. It's just, you know, something that we, it's a character, really. Yeah. You know, that we present, you know,
Starting point is 00:17:22 because deep down, Gilbert and I are really just soft, cuddly little bunnies. The world doesn't know our secret. Oh, God. We're like Mr. Rogers. I swear. Rogers. Lou, that experience I've heard you say was the first time you've been involved, really kind of souped to nuts in an entire creative experience from the time they reached out to you to the. Yeah, I don't think there's any other experience that you have in either film,
Starting point is 00:18:01 television or whatever that is like that Pixar experience because of the nature of the fact that, you know, every step of the way, you know, you get to see the whole creative process unfold in front of you. So that when I did, I showed up there to, they sent me a box of their stuff and then they said they would see me in like six months
Starting point is 00:18:21 and I was out there performing and they came to see me. And 12 animators showed up and drew me and I was out there performing and they came to see me and 12 animators showed up and drew me while I was doing my act and then they all came in and showed me the their their versions of me how cool it was unbelievable and then you saw that go to the to the next step to the next step to the next step to the fact that about two-thirds of the way, or not two-thirds, maybe halfway through it, Peter Dockter had to basically say, you know, we've got to change this. He said, we have to do a major rewrite. He finally figured out, and that's extraordinary,
Starting point is 00:18:56 because it's one thing, you know, Gilbert and I do an act. You know, it's one thing if you kind of go, oh, boy, you know, my joke isn't working. So you got to rework three minutes. It's another thing if you've been you've got all of this stuff that you've already kind of put down. Yeah. And you got to kind of go back and revamp. And they did it. Riley, if you don't eat your dinner, you're not going to get any dessert.
Starting point is 00:19:23 Wait, did he just say we couldn't have dessert? That's anger. He cares very deeply about things being fair. So that's how you wanna play it, old man? No dessert? Oh, sure. We'll eat our dinner right after you eat this! Right, right, here comes an airplane. Oh, airplane. We got an airplane, everybody.
Starting point is 00:19:45 Airplane. And you're acting alone in the booth? Yeah. Yeah. Well, in my imaginary children. Yeah. And also, like, during Aladdin, they would have cameras on us to catch our facial expressions and body movement. And then they'd put it into the character.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Did you do, were you alone too? Most of the time. A handful of times I worked with Jafar, Jonathan Freeman. But most of the time myself. Yeah, because we were, I was by myself. We've got a quick shout out to our friend Richard Kind, who did wonderful work in that movie. Yeah, he did. That's bing bong. Really wonderful stuff. Speaking of Aladdin, you guys both worked with the late great Robin Williams. Yes. Lou, you and I were talking about how underrated Barry Levinson is. Yes.
Starting point is 00:20:44 Lou, you and I were talking about how underrated Barry Levinson is. Oh, yeah. Your fellow Marylander. Yeah. No, it was, we did that, Robin and I did Man of the Year. And so I got to work with Barry. Two amazing things about that movie. It was shot in 32 days, which is pretty remarkable for a film of that, I think, of the level of quality of the film. And he was dealing with the producers of the film and saying, you're selling this wrong.
Starting point is 00:21:12 You're selling it wrong. You're selling it wrong. You're presenting it to the public as kind of a goofy Robin Williams movie. If you look at the advertising, it's, you know, he was in like some sort of a revolutionary war outfit. Yeah. And it's like he was going, no, this, you know, no. And and it undermined, I think, the the flick. And it was too bad.
Starting point is 00:21:38 He was he was really smart to work with. And, you know, and, you know, he'd sit and we'd get and it was nice because we would go through it was i mean it was really extraordinary because we'd sit there and talk about a scene and how we you know he would basically lay it out and you'd sit there and then he'd say have you got any ideas and then robin would have some ideas or christopher walken who was another fucking genius. What was it like working with him? This is what it was like.
Starting point is 00:22:09 The first day I get on the set, and the first shoot that we have is me and Christopher Walken in a scene together, and part of it is an improv, a little bit. Uh-huh. And my brain is going the whole time, and part of it is an improv a little bit. And my brain is going the whole time. It's Christopher Walken. It's Christopher Walken.
Starting point is 00:22:31 It's Christopher Walken. It's Christopher Walken. It's Christopher fucking Walken. Look it, it's Christopher Walken, you asshole. How the fuck did you end up working with Christopher Walken? You don't deserve to work with Christopher Walken. Then, of course, the self-loathing jew voice comes through you know you don't get to do this you piece of shit um and then i kind of realized i can't do that and get away i've got 30 more days with these i'm gonna have to get over
Starting point is 00:22:59 this and then it was it was great it was i just said all you got to do it's christopher walking all you got to do is react you don't have to do a lot of work it's Christopher Walken so whatever he does you just react to it and uh and he and he loves being funny and he there was we would sit around between takes and between him and Robin uh and Robin would was very you, Robin is not on all the time. So Robin would kind of be going, Christopher, tell him that joke. And Christopher Walken would go through his like routine. And there's nothing funnier than Christopher Walken telling a joke.
Starting point is 00:23:36 I'll bet. He's got a wicked sense of humor. He does. It was just great. He did a thing. humor he does it was just great he did a thing we would did a scene and it we had to walk through this uh kind of tent and they were it was the where the press group was and he was like the uh the uh robin's campaign manager and and it was really uh and i can't remember if it's in the film or not but they told him the kind of improv. And he goes, it was like the fun. He just goes, you know, he turns to me as we're walking along. What we're doing is we're getting a cup of coffee and then we walk together. He goes, you know, I don't think I ever told you, but my father worked for the circus.
Starting point is 00:24:19 I didn't know that. And he goes, yeah, you know, you know how, you know, what he would do is he was the guy, he's the guy who would have to kind of take a rake to the elephants' balls. Well, to their pubic hair. And I'm like, I'm looking, it's like, holy fuck. And I'm supposed to kind of be, you know, and it's one of these scenes where I'm supposed to basically laugh maybe a little, but you know, nothing. And I of these scenes where I'm supposed to basically laugh maybe a little, but, you know, nothing.
Starting point is 00:24:46 And I've got coffee in my mouth. And it's like, hold on to your sanity. And he just made the joke bigger. And the elephant and the balls and his father in the circus, you go, holy fuck. It was so funny that I don't know how many people I've heard tell stories of, oh, during Aladdin when Gilbert and Robin got into the sound booth together, that was insanity. And I never ran into him once during the making of that movie. It's called good press. Yes. You did kind of wing it on stage with him a few
Starting point is 00:25:28 times oh yes yes he's invited me on stage a couple of that was fun yeah you know you want to see uh 10 great minutes of christopher walken on film lewis uh pennies from heaven oh i haven't seen that in a while i forgot that yeah because he was a hoofer yeah yes yeah yeah he was uh he was actually up at uh i went to drama school at uh at yale and um and but in the only reason i mentioned that because i don't really like to i keep that a secret um is um he uh he was in the the repertory company up there is but he was really kind of a kid or, you know, making the transition from being a hoofer to an actor. Yeah. They got he actually got he got he got robbed there, you know, kind of got roughed up and robbed and stuff.
Starting point is 00:26:19 Yes. And and smartly said, OK, I'm out. I'm fucking getting out of here. But it was years later when I ran into him. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. Baseball is finally back. Get in on Major League action and swing for the fences with BetMGM, the king of sportsbooks.
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Starting point is 00:27:22 for a limited time. On the subject of Robin, you also went to the Middle East famously with Robin, which you write about in your book about Christmas and Black Christmas. Yeah, that was really something. He was unbelievable. I've never seen anything quite like that. He was just unbelievable. What were you doing in the Middle East?
Starting point is 00:27:46 Well, you know, I brokered two peace treaties. You and Jared. You know, I was able to, the Dead Sea Scrolls, I was finally able to give a proper translation. It turns out it's a truly great brisket recipe. Thank you, Louis. I'm here all week. Well, we did this, yeah, to answer actually Gilbert's question,
Starting point is 00:28:12 we did three USO tours, and two of them I did with Robin. Robin brought me along on the, Robin called and said, do you want to do this? And I'd always kind of wanted to do it. And it was, it was life changing. And the whole, it was, and it was crazy. I mean, it was the most exhausting performance schedule I'd ever been on. And it was like, you know, six countries, you know, eight shows, you know, six countries, seven days, eight shows, stuff like that. six countries, seven days, eight shows, stuff like that. But he, we would arrive, you know, you'd be in these, you know, you're kind of like in these, you know, in a helicopter, a chopper, as I like to say, you know, because I can say that now.
Starting point is 00:28:57 But you'd be in this fucking thing and it would be like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, and, you know, you do a show and land. And he, by the time you landed, you know, you were like kind of, you know and uh you know you do a show and land and he by the time you landed you know you were like kind of you know you'd flown an hour and a half over what kathleen madigan described the areas that we flew over as she said it was like flying over the bible that's a good line it is a great line we got out and i'm exhausted and he's never, he was nonstop, walks right up to the guys and, you know, starts talking to me. It was the, what he was like there. I felt the best way to describe it is the scene in, um, good morning, Vietnam when he's leaving. Yeah. I know the scene. He
Starting point is 00:29:38 was exactly like that. I know the scene. And, uh, when he talks to the troops, that's exactly the way he was with them. I actually, uh, it really got to me when I, cause I hadn't seen the scene. And when he talks to the troops, that's exactly the way he was with them. I actually, it really got to me when I, because I hadn't seen the movie. I watched it one night. It was on, and I loved that movie. Another good Barry Levinson movie. Another good Barry Levinson movie. And I sat there, and that scene came on, and it really touched me,
Starting point is 00:30:00 because I thought, that describes what he was like with them precisely. And I heard on those tours, you don't know where you're going. They don't tell you where you're going to. No, well, he may not have known. I mean, he would go to certain places, which I mean, he would do. He was much greater. He would fly in on his own and go to, you know, I forget what they call them, FOBs, you know, these places that were off the beaten track completely. We knew where we were going or, you know, because it was and even knowing where you were going, you didn't know where you were going.
Starting point is 00:30:38 You were in Afghanistan, Kuwait, Iraq. Yeah. Wow. You know, you're we're going to Kandahar. Well, good luck there. You know, I was in Kandahar twice. You know, you're in a soccer stadium. It's like crazy. It's a nice thing for you guys to have done. And I'm sure they appreciated you. It was, it was incredible. It's like Robin says in an interview he did, it's the, you know, it's the greatest audience you'll ever have. You come back and you think you go on stage in a theater,
Starting point is 00:31:08 you go, really, that's all you got? Fuck you. And I still, people will still write, service people will still come up to me and you kind of go, they're still very much effusive about us being there. And I'm like, you people are nuts. You know, it's, you know, I'm the one. We thank you.
Starting point is 00:31:31 Don't, you know, I, you know, seriously. There's a lovely Christmas story, too, that the book ends with. And I'll make people buy the book to get the story. To me, it's what Christmas is about. Yeah, it was beautiful to read it. Thank you. Yeah. Do you beautiful to read it. Thank you. Yeah. Do you guys remember meeting for the first time?
Starting point is 00:31:49 I'm sure I asked you this when we were at Caroline's. Do you remember seeing each other on stage for the first time? Well, I remember because I saw him. I would go over to watch Gilbert. Before I was doing comedy, I worked at the West Bank. Sure. And it was around the corner from the improv, and I didn't really work the improv. But I would go over late sometimes because I saw Gilbert there.
Starting point is 00:32:16 And he had that shitty last slot. The check spot? He had the check slot and the lock lockup slot and i would go watch him and he you know and it was like a revelation i was like holy fuck it that was it was just it was brilliant yeah thank you me and well it was brilliant And me and the other six people really loved it. I mean, I'm sitting here going, well, you know, it taught me, you know, I'd be honest, Gilbert, it helped. Because, you know, you kind of go, this fucking guy's a genius and they're fucking him. And I'm around the corner and they're fucking me.
Starting point is 00:33:07 So, you know, don't you, I shouldn't be getting upset because he's really, you know, he's brilliant and nobody's showing up to see him. So what am I whining about? And it was good because it was a really good lesson. Yeah, I used to be on stage and they'd be like putting the chairs up. Back when they used to call you the comics comic. Oh, yes. Yeah, the comic that all the comics would stay late to watch. Yeah, me. You and Bobby Slayton.
Starting point is 00:33:34 Gilbert, do you remember seeing Lewis? Yes, right now when he came on camera. It came on camera. Yeah. He has such a generosity of spirit, Lewis, when it comes to other other comedians and other performers. Oh, here's something. See, with with Lewis, he actually knows politics he actually but it's like i find so much what passes for political comedy is oh uh george bush and dan quayle are stupid and uh clinton is horny and it's like you know you could put any joke in there and it's it's not like political comedy.
Starting point is 00:34:28 You know, I look at your act, Gilbert, and I consider something like your dislike of the Amish. I consider that. Could that be called political comedy? Yes. Yeah, that's a very strong group now. Yes, because, yeah, that's a very strong group now. I mean, it's not political comedy as we think of it. It's not Mark Russell, who, by the way, Lewis recently interviewed. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:56 Mark Russell is one of those guys. He seemed like he was on PBS. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And he'd be at the piano, you know, making up songs about, you know, the Washington rag or something. Yeah. He's really kind of he's 88 now. And I just did this interview with him and he this is what's unbelievable, Gilbert. So I I said to him because I watched him as a kid, because he played in Washington. He's one of these comics who found a space in D.C. at a hotel there in a lounge.
Starting point is 00:35:33 And the senators and congressmen would show up and he'd tear them apart. But do it really nicely with the piano. Well, I used to say it was like he was giving them a nice little bit of a confection. And in the middle of it was like he was giving them a nice little bit of a confection. And in the middle of it was a razor blade. So he said, I asked him about some, he was talking about somebody, the first Senate hearing he went to. And he talked about this hit man that was there. And I said, did you ever do a song about him?
Starting point is 00:36:04 And he goes, no, oddly enough, I did it about his girlfriend. Then he tells the story. He's 88 years old. He tells the story about the girlfriend. Then, without, I mean, this is not even prompt. I'm just doing an interview. He goes and sings the song. The whole fucking song about the girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:36:18 Wow. And it's like, he must be 40 years old. They go, how the fuck did you remember that? I don't even know what happened last Thursday, you fuck. Guy's a pro. There were so many great political comedians that we were lucky enough to grow up around, many who were influences of yours.
Starting point is 00:36:38 Dick Gregory. Yeah. Mark Russell, Tom Lehrer, I think of, too. Certainly Mort Saul. The Smothers Brothers. Smothers Brothers. Yeah. I got to of, too. Certainly Mort Saul. The Smothers Brothers. The Smothers Brothers. Yeah, I got to work with Tommy. That was fun.
Starting point is 00:36:57 This is what I wanted to ask you about influences, too, about Dick Gregory, about people that Gilbert and I talk about on this show. And I read in your book, in one of your books, I think it's in Nothing Sacred, you're talking about The Sullivan Show. Yeah. And how transformative that was for you to see not only major comics coming out, but also even the guys like Jackie Vernon and Stanley Myron Handelman, people who are largely forgotten. Yeah, I actually have somebody given me, I still got them around here somewhere, Jackie Vernon's, not an album, but his bits. Yeah. You know, that the poor man, you know, the kind of a trot upon, you know, kind of a version of,
Starting point is 00:37:32 a different kind of version in a kind of a unique way of Rodney Dangerfield. Mm-hmm. You know, a sadder version. God, I just, Vernon just used to make me laugh. And all those guys. He had that clicker he'd bring on stage, you know?
Starting point is 00:37:54 Yeah. Here are some slides from my vacation. Yeah, that's right. Here's Manuel leading us around the quicksand. Here we are from the waist up. Very, very funny guy.
Starting point is 00:38:13 Very good. You know, I mean, you know, I saw, you know, I saw the thing where they said that, and I watched it kind of religiously in part because of those guys, because of the comedy. Yeah. Who else? Shelley Berman? Shelley Berman?
Starting point is 00:38:25 Shelley Berman, Newhart. I saw Jackie Mason, that whole thing of whether he gave the finger or not. Sure, sure, sure. You know, and I know that one of Gilbert's favorites was Topo Gigio, the Italian mouse. Yes! I used to do that for you. Oh, Eddie, I love you.
Starting point is 00:38:47 That was so sick. Twisted up. It's like, what is that? And the marquee chips. Who remembers the marquee chips? Oh, my God, yeah. On the Sullivan show. But they did come out in Toadie Fields.
Starting point is 00:39:01 Oh, yeah, sure. Stiller, Stiller. All of them. Joan Rivers was on the Sullivan Show a million times. The funny thing about shows like The Sullivan Show is it's like it forced you to watch stuff you wouldn't watch. It's like you'd want to watch the comics or a puppet thing. And then they bring out an opera singer and they force you to watch it and you go oh okay yeah yeah i now i know uh what a little about that yeah no that's true or you know it's or
Starting point is 00:39:36 somebody playing jazz i mean it was like i was always i was always kind of amazed that it never uh that he that no one really got back to that type of show again you know that it was because it is kind of the model of you know now we live in this three minutes five minutes seven minutes now they've got you know i mean for fuck's sake they're watching america's got talent you know you can't they can't seem to put together a show in which you've got, you know, you know, six phenomenal acts in the course of an hour. It just always amazed me. It never has worked. Somebody should bring it back. And now it's like you're not forced to watch other things.
Starting point is 00:40:19 So you go, OK, I want to see comedy. I go to the comedy channel. Yeah. I want to see, you know, this kind of news show. I go to the news channel. Yeah. Yeah. You go and there is the arts channel and the music channel. You know, if you want country music, there's that channel.
Starting point is 00:40:38 What was the hardship of us growing up with three channels? With the rabbit ears, as you talk about in your in old yeller yes which never worked no well i found with the rabbit ears it was a thing of you'd pick it up walk to the middle of the room and then step over an inch and then the the picture would get clear and you go oh hold it hold it like that and it would be, it would go out right again. You're making me think of that Honeymooners episode, Gil. Oh, yes, where he goes out in the hallway. He goes in the hallway with the rabbit ears.
Starting point is 00:41:18 Lou, you even talked about how the channel changer would break off. Oh, yeah. And the pliers would come out. Yeah. You know, the variety, you look back on those Beatles shows on Sullivan, the same night you got the Beatles, you got Mitzi McCall and Charlie Brill. You got Tessie O'Shea. Alan and Rossi.
Starting point is 00:41:38 Alan and Rossi. Alan and Rossi. I got down, I think I was on the second one. Frank Gorshin. You got a scene from Oliver with a young Davy Jones from the Monkees. Variety. Yeah. I think Mitzi McCall and Charlie Brill, I think they got bumped for the Beatles' second number.
Starting point is 00:42:01 And their career's never recovered. Yes. John Biner. Oh, wow. John Biner. Wow beiner yeah we had him on here do you think that do you think that that mason actually gave sullivan the finger what's your what's your opinion on that no i don't think so i just think yeah do you no i saw that uh and he didn't give him the finger. No. Because as a kid, I would have gone, wow, that's great. You know?
Starting point is 00:42:29 And it was just not. It was more like he was just throwing his hand out there. Yeah. Yeah. Don't bother me. Yeah. He was going, oh, this guy's pointing his finger this way. This guy's pointing his finger that way.
Starting point is 00:42:44 But he never actually gave the middle finger at any point. No. Do you remember what Beiner told us, Gilbert, that he was there? Yes. That he heard Ed Sullivan reaming out Jackie Mason? Yeah, he's going, you motherfucker, you son of a bitch. We've got
Starting point is 00:42:58 fucking nuns and Cub Scouts watching this. You fucker. I think there were a couple of anti-Semitic things thrown in there as well. You fucking Jew. I'll send you that Biner clip, Lewis. It's actually fascinating. That's good, too.
Starting point is 00:43:19 An eyewitness point of view to that. Wow. Did you do the Mark Russell interview for the Comedy Center? Yeah, I did it for the National Comedy Center. Tell us a little bit about what's going on with that for our listeners that don't know enough about it and you're on the board. Yeah, I was approached about, I guess, six
Starting point is 00:43:36 years ago now. Could be a hundred. Yes, yes! At the turn of the century, about five or six years ago, Kelly Carlin, you know, George's daughter approached me and said, there's this place that wants my father's stuff. And they're building this National Comedy Center and the state of New York seems to be putting money into it. And what they seem to be trying to do is build this kind of interactive, you know, state of the art comedy, you know, to this place where it'd be, you know, not only stand up, but film, television, every basically dedicated to the craft of comedy.
Starting point is 00:44:18 And she said, you should meet with these people. And they, approached they they so they approached me and uh i said to her if that my feeling was if they did one half of what they said they were doing it was well worth it especially early on and uh and then she decided to give her father's stuff to them and that basically is was the impetus of this thing being done. And then I started to work trying to raise money for it because I thought I thought it was really important. I thought we needed a place. Yeah. I thought that or whatever the fuck was next, trying to track comedy. And this was a place that had a real sense of kind of how to show the arc of it. And once they got his stuff, they got Shelly Berman's stuff, the Smothers Brothers. The Smothers Brothers stuff was in a was in a fucking trailer.
Starting point is 00:45:28 Oh, man, that's sad. You know, and they grabbed it and brought it all in there. And so it's I consider it the I call it the Library of Congress of Comedy. And I've never seen anything quite like it in terms of like nothing I've ever worked on has worked. That's the bottom line. Anything that I thought this will be great has never turned out to be great. And this is truly pretty spectacular. It's a great endorsement.
Starting point is 00:45:57 You know, and like you can sit there like a kid can sit there. Who's got like, you know, who's on first? You can do who's on first. Two people sit down oh that's fun and do a version of it and they basically have uh you know avin costello you they you put your head where avid's head is and and you do it and then at the end of the whole thing they send you a whole bunch of things of what it was you liked and what you were interested in. And it's really, it's an exceptional way to spend time. And it's not, you know, and it's in a place that if, it's not, it's not like, oh, this is a billion dollar vacation. It's a place you can go on a budget and see it. And if, you know, as I keep saying, if you go there, you can go Niagara Falls. You can go there.
Starting point is 00:46:49 An hour and a half later, you can be at the Comedy Center. Two hours later, you can be at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I heard you address that. Somebody said, well, it's in kind of a remote place. How do you get people to get to Jamestown? But you said something intelligent. You said, well, whoever thought anybody would go to Cooperstown?
Starting point is 00:47:06 Yeah, exactly. Or Canton. Well, also there used to be, and if they do it, which is now because of all this nonsense, but they built this place in what was the old train station. The train used to drive from Buffalo to Cleveland every half hour for 24 hours a day.
Starting point is 00:47:28 Then now there's nothing. But if they just, even during the summer, did it, it would be huge. And right up until that point, people were starting to come in. And it's been a pleasure to be a part of it. And it's it's been it's been it's been a pleasure to be a part of it. You know, and so I've got to meet people like like like Mark and who would have been somebody I really loved. And then Tommy and Dickie Smothers came up and did actually sat on stage and talked for the first time in public in front of people in like 10 years. Wow. Wow. Gilbert, we got to get up there. And you can actually go to a thing. It's the Chautauqua.
Starting point is 00:48:08 Chautauqua is a adult educational thing up there. And you could, if you go online, you can probably track down that, that the Smothers Brothers working, you know, talking and discussing their career with, I think,on bennington i think gilbert if this shit ever ends we got to get up there yeah i they did film me over there doing something i think i was already working a club out there so they uh filmed me yeah they
Starting point is 00:48:38 did they went to see you you were in buffalo yes wow you know this better than I do. Yes. I forgot where the fuck I was working. No, I remember that. Because I said, if you were a bear, I said, it'll give him something to do during the afternoon. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. And then they got me lunch afterwards. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:49:04 That was another thing. I said, feed him. Feed him, he'll do anything. I'm like a trained chimp. Now, and this is something Frank brought up before, and I guess we both have. What do you do during the day when you're working someplace? That's horrible.
Starting point is 00:49:27 One thing I do is I take a nap. That's in the schedule. I've always taken a nap. Even young, I took a nap. Like from four to five or something. It's time to knock yourself out. A lot of the times I'll walk around. If there's a mall, I'll walk around it.
Starting point is 00:49:46 Or I'll walk around the town. If there's a mall, that's like God stepped down and put it there. That's like one of those things. Because sometimes right outside the hotel is just like if you go one step out of the hotel you're on the highway yes no that's true then you don't then i just sit there and i weep does the act does the nap help lewis because your act is physically strenuous yes to get to i mean to get through yeah no it does help it always has helped yeah you know uh and partly because you know i'm up late afterwards because you've been sitting there
Starting point is 00:50:30 squeezing your adrenal glands until there's nothing left of course and then all of a sudden it's like you know fuck it's you know two o'clock in the morning and you wake up at nine state and nine and it's like god damn damn it. So yeah, it does help. Gilbert, I heard a rumor that you have the driver who picks you up at the airport, drive you to the local 99 cent store. Is there any truth to this? I don't know if I've had it in my contract. had it in my contract. Gil, what do you do?
Starting point is 00:51:10 What do you, the driver picks you up. You don't drive. Yeah. Lewis, you don't really drive anymore either. I don't drive. Being a New Yorker. The driver takes you to the hotel, Gilbert.
Starting point is 00:51:20 It's two o'clock in the afternoon. You're not going up till eight. What the hell do you do with six hours? Horrible. Like sometimes like the next next day you would have to work that night but you have to be they'll go we're picking you up at like four o'clock in the morning you're doing captain jimmy and it's like I find myself riding up and down on the elevator. Like go out in the elevator, look around the lobby and go back to my room. People are going, is that Gilbert Gottfried?
Starting point is 00:52:02 Why is he riding the elevator? Yes. It's nowhere to go. He's auditioning to be the elevator operator. You get back to the room after the show, and then what happens? Mostly you're still flying, and it's very hard to settle down. Yeah, then I binge watch. That's what i
Starting point is 00:52:25 would do right and usually the tv what they have on tvs are horrible yeah and i find out it's right before they're gonna pick me up to go perform that two things happen one i get extremely tired and the other thing is there'll be something really good on tv finally yeah and that's when i have to leave that is that the morning zoo stuff you guys have probably done like what 10 000 of those between the two of you? Yeah. In 25, 30 years of road work? Easily. Since you bring up Kelly, and Kelly's been here on the show. We love Kelly. Just tell us about George Carlin coming into your life,
Starting point is 00:53:16 which I assume happened at a pivotal time in your development. Well, it happened at a point that, I mean, nobody knew me, and there was nothing major going on, and I was just doing clubs. And I had been on maybe a couple of Conans, maybe. And I might have had something on Comedy Central, might have. I might have had something on Comedy Central. I might have. And I got a call from him.
Starting point is 00:53:49 I'd come home, and there was on my, when we had message machines, and I'll never forget it. I think, and I still got it somewhere. Oh, great. This is, hi, Lewis. This is George Carlin. First off, let me say, there's absolutely nothing I can do for you or your career. That being said, I've watched you
Starting point is 00:54:13 a number of times, and I really think your work is terrific, and you really make me laugh. And I just want you to know that if you have anything, any tapes or anything, if you come up with a CD or something, you have a CD, whatever. My friends and I like comedy. I'd love to hear it. They'd love to hear it. You know, send it along to me. That would be really great. Thanks a lot. Wow. And that was huge. And then he started talking about me. I remember years ago getting on a plane and I saw where my seat was. And then I look and about three aisles down from me, George Carlin's there. And I thought, oh, my God, you know, I but I can't I'm not going to go over and bother him. So I sit down. And then in the middle of the flight, he gets up. He's looking at me, and he walks straight over to me, and he says, I've got some stuff I have to read and I have to work on, and then I'm going to take a nap, so I can't talk to you.
Starting point is 00:55:16 So basically, he took the trouble of getting up from his seat to tell me to go fuck myself. But you exchanged numbers. Yeah, yes. He went up to me toward the end of the flight with a little piece of paper where he scribbled his number and he said, next time, pretty much similar, the same thing he said to you. He said, next time you're going to be appearing
Starting point is 00:55:46 on tv he goes i want you to call me and tell me because i want to see what's going on that mind of yours yeah and but i never called him never once i just uh yeah i understand why didn't you call him i'm i know yeah okay because i find what happens with celebrities I've met and then call. It's kind of like you ever meet a girl and she says, oh, oh, here's my number. Here's my number. And here's my cell number and my answering service. Call me. Call me. And then you call her and she goes, yeah. And you go, we met at Bob's party. I remember. And that's what's happened with me with celebrities that I've been dumb enough to call. Well, yeah. sometimes. And I also feel sometimes that it's like, you know, that they're
Starting point is 00:56:47 being polite. Yes. And I really appreciate their politeness, but I'm sure that they're busy. Oh, absolutely. Yes. Something tells me George would not have received you, Gilbert, like like Lisa from Bob's party. Yeah. he he was he was generous and especially generous to other performers there's also the Gary Shandling story yeah he was pretty remarkable it's like I've had I remember three numbers I had that I never called uh George Carlin Jonathan Winters and Norman Fell they all gave me their numbers and said, cool, and I would have loved to have spoken to them, but I thought, uh-oh, what if I... And Squeaky Frome was the fourth.
Starting point is 00:57:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lewis, I love this quote, this blurb from your first book by George. Whenever I'm asked who makes you laugh or who would you pay to see, I don't hesitate, Louis Black, period. He's got brains,
Starting point is 00:57:50 he's got balls, and he's got chops, and he sees through all the bullshit. Yeah, that's very... Praise from Caesar is a cliche. It was a life change. But what it was, was it basically,
Starting point is 00:58:02 it was another thing, like watching Gilbert. There's certain times in your life you kind of go um so you kind of want you know I really would like to have an income and I'd like to be known and this would be great and yada yada yada um and then George Carlin calls and you go that's what I want I don't need anything else I just want wow I just want what I want. I don't need anything else. I just want. Wow. I just want what I, you know, that's what I set out for.
Starting point is 00:58:32 You know, I can't get my mother's approval, but George likes me. I hope you played the answering machine message for your mom. I did. I absolutely did. But the best was I had, I was going to I was up for that, you know, the comedy award. And then I told my parents I could take him out there. Would they want to come? And my dad, my dad was like, my dad was like, I don't know. I said, but I know he liked Carlin. I said, well, they're giving George Carlin a Lifetime Achievement Award. Yeah. You think I could meet him? Yeah. He said, I'll go. So it was great. He got to meet Carlin.
Starting point is 00:59:14 That's nice. It was really great. Yeah. He doesn't get enough credit for the writing, especially late into his career. A piece like Modern Man, and it was either the last special or the next to last special. I mean, the work ethic of the guy. Yeah. You know, I assume as comics, it's a chore to write new material. Yeah. And this was a guy that what, wrote a,
Starting point is 00:59:41 almost wrote a new hour every year? year it's it's it's beyond impressive yeah no it's extraordinary really extraordinary uh next uh sometime in october i lost the date uh by the way it would be the 95th birthday of lenny bruce wow how about that another influence and you wrote yeah you wrote a uh a preface i wrote a preface to how to talk to any influence people. Yeah, yeah. And you said that every comic working, every comic owes him a debt. Yeah, everyone. He's the one who basically said, don't fuck.
Starting point is 01:00:19 I'll go to jail for this. They took away his career over it, over language. You know, I mean, as great as Carlin and the others were, it was, you know, Bruce really kind of took it right in the chops. George went to jail, too. Yeah. No, I remember there's that story. You know, the police were constantly breaking in and arresting Lenny Bruce. And they were asking other people for their ID or something. And George Carlin was in the audience.
Starting point is 01:00:56 Oh, yeah. And he refused. So he was being taken away in the same squad car as Lenny Bruce. And Lenny Bruce said, what are you doing here? And he said, well, the police asked me for such and such. And I said, no. And Lenny Bruce said, what are you, a schmuck? Two things about the comedy museum and the two of them. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:24 Two things about the comedy museum and the two of them. Yeah. Lenny Bruce used to have a raincoat, an overcoat that he, the cops told him to have an overcoat with him because they were going to bust him. So he should have the overcoat with him so that when they bust him, he could leave the stage. So that overcoat is at the Comedy Museum. Wow, that's cool.
Starting point is 01:01:47 Which is pretty remarkable. The other is that George, one of the George busts for language was in Milwaukee at Winterfest, I believe. And it's on, you go into this room dedicated to Carlin and you put the headphones on and you listen to the bus. He's on stage.
Starting point is 01:02:08 Wow. It's the seven words you shouldn't say on television. And then you hear the bus. I got to get up there. Yeah, it's really kind of remarkable. Really good stuff to anybody interested in comedy history. And in there, it's like the dirty part of the museum is like in the basement. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:24 It's like the dirty part of the museum is like in the basement. Yeah. And you get off and there's some big, shiny, like neon lights saying, you know, cocksucker fuck. And it's also in like seven different languages. Yes. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast. But first, a word from our sponsor. Meet our summer collection of grillable faves that come on sticks in spirals with bite-sized bursts of flavor and more. From pork belly bites full of barbecue flavor to skewer sensations that will keep the
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Starting point is 01:03:41 Shop now. It's nice to see Lenny Bruce turning up in the culture again on Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Yeah. And that actor, Luke Kirby, does a nice job with him. Oh, excellent imitation. Yeah. You know, you asked about my influences. Another big one was the one who wrote the original intro to How to Talk Dirty, which was Paul Krasner.
Starting point is 01:04:01 Oh, the late Paul Krasner. Yes. Who's a brilliant son of a bitch. And the realist. Yeah. Yeah. We came of age at a good time. Yeah, we did.
Starting point is 01:04:10 That was really unbelievable. For satire. A couple of quick questions from listeners, Lewis, if you got the time. And really, where are you going? I got a poker game. Oh, you got a poker game. Wow. We'll do it quick.
Starting point is 01:04:23 No, that's all right. I'm saving money. Javier Girola. Girola. Would Lewis and Gil ever consider forming a comedy team called Black and Jew? Anything there. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:43 And then it could be Black and Jew meet Frankenstein. Yeah. We could do shorts. Yeah. Joe, one of our listeners just calls himself Joe. I heard Lewis chant Hebrew blessings from his bar mitzvah. Do not let him go without him doing a little bit of this with Gilbert. No, I'm not chanting a fucking issue.
Starting point is 01:05:10 That's unbelievable. Can you do your haftor? What planet are you on? Are you orbiting? Can I do my haftor? Do you practice? Can I do my half Torah? Do you practice? Can I do my half Torah? Lex Passeris, our friend, does Lewis have any memories of doing a pilot for Bruce Paltrow and Tom Fontana and John Tinker? Word
Starting point is 01:05:41 of mouth. That's right. With Gladys Knight. With Gladys Knight. Yes. Who brought me into her dressing room. We had the same agent. And I had, and she said, I just wanted you to see this. Because she'd been to buy my dressing room and she looked, I had some flowers from the agent.
Starting point is 01:06:01 And she went, oh, look at those. Those are nice. Come here. She took me down to the dressing room to see what the agency sent her for flowers. It was five times larger, the bouquet. And she couldn't stop laughing. It was great. It was a lot of fun. That was another one that was way ahead of its time. Speechwriters for the President, That was another one that was way ahead of its time. Speechwriters for the President. Way, way ahead of its time.
Starting point is 01:06:27 Oh, wow. I'd love to see that pilot. It was a good pilot. Fontana's brilliant. Way ahead. Fontana's brilliant. I did a pilot that was created by Barry Levinson called Toast of Manhattan. Is that right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:41 And that was a piece of shit. And you told Barry when we had him. Yes, yes. So are people listening to this now? No, no, no, no, no. We'll record. We'll record. We edited it and put it up weeks later.
Starting point is 01:07:07 Wow, that was really spectacular. Yeah. What's going on with your playwriting career? Is One Slight Hitch? Well, it came to a screeching halt with this. Okay. It gets done a lot at community theaters, a lot. Right.
Starting point is 01:07:23 It gets done a lot at community theaters, a lot. Right. And then one of the things that I was going to do, you know, one of the things I'll see during, since we've got some time off, is I'm going to, I'll either write another book or I'll write a play. And the play that I would write would be my version of Our Town. Wow. Which I kind of had started.
Starting point is 01:07:47 And then the book, I'm not, there are two or three books that I would want to work on. I love you talking about your early days as a playwright, saying that crack whores make more money than playwrights. Yeah. Well, it was really unbelievable. It was, unbelievable. I would like to be able to get a couple more plays out there. How many have you written to date? I did write about 40 plays.
Starting point is 01:08:14 Most of them were things written for a group of people, and that was it. But what's amazing is my one acts came out, and was and I thought, well, colleges will do these. And now nobody's done them. Not even like two productions of the one. I'd like to see the deal. I think I still think the deal works because I've heard about it. Can I can I read these plays, Lewis? Yeah. Samuel French there. I'll send you the name of the it's it's another group. It's not Samuel French. I'll send you the name of the, it's another group. It's not Samuel French.
Starting point is 01:08:46 It's, yeah. But yeah, I'll send you the name of it. Back in the days when I used to see you at the West Bank Cafe. Yeah. The late great. Well, the book has, the deal is in, I think it's in Me of Little Faith. No, it's in Nothing Sacred. Oh, okay. The hardback.
Starting point is 01:09:06 Okay. Or the paperback, actually. Great. And the great thing about the deal is it ends with those two guys. This is the best thing I ever wrote as a writer, as far as I'm concerned. It's these two businessmen are cutting a deal. You never know what they're cutting the deal over. You never know what it's about.
Starting point is 01:09:24 You have no idea.'re cutting the deal over. You never know what it's about. You have no idea. They just talk around it. And they're in an office that's so high, there's actually no view. The thing ends with the two of them squeezing each other's nuts, screaming, it's a deal, it's a deal. Is one of them like a Warren Buffett type? Yeah. I mean, it's kind of like it was, I don't even, you know, like any of those idiots. Right, right, right.
Starting point is 01:09:51 Sure. Would you stay? Two businessmen, really. And also you can, I think Sundance Channel, if you go on, it has a version of it that was filmed. We want to shout out your friend Joe Grafasi, too. Yeah, he's in it. Yes. And who's directed some of your plays. Yeah, he's in it. Yes, and who's directed some of your plays.
Starting point is 01:10:07 Yeah, and who did a movie with Gilbert. Yes! Yes! Bad Medicine. Yes. Another piece of shit. Yeah, but you had some time in Spain. Yes, that was nice. Yes. Joe's in everything. He's Jimmy the Cheese Man in the
Starting point is 01:10:23 Pope of Greenwich Village. Yeah. Joe is in everything. He's Jimmy the Cheese Man in the Pope of Greenwich Village. Yeah. Joe is in fucking everything. And now he plays judges on that bull and a couple of others, Law and Order. And he says the greatest thing about that is he doesn't have to wear any pants.
Starting point is 01:10:40 He's had a great career. I mean, you look at his IMDb page, it's very impressive. And he was out with us the night you did the show at Caroline's. We all went out to dinner. Yeah, great guy. Yeah, he's the best. I'm going to actually see him tomorrow.
Starting point is 01:10:54 Please give him our best. We're fans. I will. What was it like working with the great Richard Dreyfuss on the Madoff miniseries? I enjoyed working with him. I worked with him on that. And I did, um, what the fuck was the last laugh? Right. With him. Oh, with Chevy. With Chevy. Yeah. Yeah. And both times, uh, it was a, it was a pleasure to work with him. I mean, I really enjoy it. I mean,
Starting point is 01:11:20 he's one of those guys. He was like, you know, and he's, he's another one. His kid wants to be a comic. So he was like you know and he's he's another one his kid wants to be a comic so he was into that and uh and they i was working the last laugh and um he had to do this scene he had to do uh a long like a four minute kind of tonight show bit and he kept trying to make it mean something you know he kept trying to put meaning into it and i was like and i was in part cast because they knew that i'd uh i'd worked with him that uh i'd be that i might be able to get you know kind of coach him and i know i tried and I tried. I screamed at him. God damn it.
Starting point is 01:12:07 Just fucking. You can say whatever you want. You can make it as meaningful as you want. If you want to say, you can talk about cancer. I don't give a shit. But every time you end the line, smile. Just smile at the end. They love your smile.
Starting point is 01:12:22 I know you hate your smile. They love your smile. You got to just do that. And then you can say whatever the fuck you want. And then did it and he got like four lines into it i said and i went completely you're not fucking smiling do you guys talk civics he's into he's into that big time yeah yeah but he was good it was really uh it was nice to sit around and uh it's one of the him and Robin and Christopher. I mean, I've been very lucky in terms of the sets that I've sat around with the people I've been able to talk to. Yeah. Great people to work with. One last question. Mike Campobasso, Lewis, your mother recently celebrated her 102nd birthday.
Starting point is 01:13:00 Yes. Shout out to Jeanette. Thank you. How did she influence your sense of humor? Her level of sarcasm is so stunning. It's so scathing. I discovered that if you could just take it down three notches, you could make a career. You know, it was a matter of just taking it down a little. It was really something. She's really, you know, like she said the other day, you know, I'm so glad she really said it. You know, I've been getting a lot of calls from people and they really like you.
Starting point is 01:13:41 And I tell them that's really good because I don't. It's in the new special. What did she say when she blew out her candles? What was it, for number 100? Number 100. Nobody should have to fucking live this long. Tell us what's going on with with thanks for risking your life. Well, that will go out on October 6th and it'll be on all platforms. I'm not sure if it'll be on Amazon. It'll depend, but it'll eventually be on Amazon. OK, but it'll hit like every platform in the world. And it was shot, not, we didn't, I didn't,
Starting point is 01:14:31 when I walked on stage, I didn't know it'd be a special. It's the last show that I did before we closed. It was the last, the very last show I did. And before I went home and locked, went into lockdown. That was part of the tour. That was part of the tour? That was part of the It Gets Better Every Day tour? Yeah. I see. It was the very, very last show.
Starting point is 01:14:50 Okay. And it would have been the special that I did probably in October or November. And the way it worked was that because it's not going to work now under these, you know, it's like with what's happened. So it was we had two cameras that we have on a shoot. You know, we have these two cameras that are essentially running for every show that I do and also kind of works to send the rants that I do about the audience. Those the cameras kind of carry those throughout the world basically that's how those get out to the world but also we film all every show i did has been filmed so that they can go through it and tell me now you know so years
Starting point is 01:15:38 later when they go back through these anybody and they can tell me what a piece of shit i was and i should have said this and instead i said that what i really should have said was this if i was woke uh if i was really woke but then also the the casino had two cameras so it uh i was doing it and um it finished up and i thought that was pretty good and jeffson, who was a really fine comic, who was opening for me, said, you know, that's a special. I said, but yeah, but, you know, it doesn't have the bells and the whistles and they're not gonna, he said, yeah, but fuck it.
Starting point is 01:16:15 You know, he said, you really kind of, it was as good as that script. You hit that script the way you wanted to hit that script you said it the way you wanted to say it um and it came out when i looked at it i went fuck you know it's you don't see the audience right because we don't have the lights we don't have any of that it's a very intimate uh special yeah i don't think anything has been shot like that it's shot totally by accident um And the guys really did the job of trying to get it, you know, so that it really is, you know, kind of as
Starting point is 01:16:51 good as it can be, which isn't bad. It's a really great dress rehearsal. You know, when I was a child, I would get down on my hands and knees every night and I would pray, please, dear God, when I get older, please let there be two-day free shipping. And I think, quite honestly, that I speak for all of us here tonight when I say that our prayers have been answered. If two-day free shipping doesn't make you happy, there is something fucking wrong with you. fucking wrong with you. The third time I put it in order and it arrived two days later,
Starting point is 01:17:52 whoo, I threw away my Xanax prescription. So the whole thing was really a happy accident in a way. Yeah. And I also think it said some things that oddly enough ring true. Just by blind luck. And also because we were coming up to it. But I mean, I'd been working on this stuff.
Starting point is 01:18:24 And it kind of was where we may not have known we were, you know, coming up to it, but I mean, I'd been working on this stuff and it kind of was where, you know, we may not have known we were heading into this, but it certainly had some application to it. And as a, as a fellow New Yorker, Gilbert and I have been talking on the show in the last couple of weeks about the, about the current state of things in New York, about theater, about movie theaters, about what, what's, what's going to happen to our, our beloved city, in your opinion?
Starting point is 01:18:49 I think we'll, it'll be a slow bounce back, but I think we will. I think a lot of it will have to do with if you actually have a federal government government if you take all of the rest out of it it's all crazy but if you have a federal government that functions the way a federal government should function um we'll be fine if we don't we're in trouble absolutely but um but i do think and i've said it time and again uh and one of the things that has driven me nuts one way the other was is that uh when i saw them building hudson yards i did say uh way before when they were just putting the first bullshit down, I said, that could be the end of New York. You don't build a city inside a city, you fucking idiots. Well said.
Starting point is 01:19:58 Last question from a fan, Josh Chambers. Your show in Redding, Pennsylvania at the Rajaja Theater, is that the name of it? Could be. One of the best shows I've ever attended. Will you entertain the idea of doing the Sunshine Boys with Gilbert? Yeah, I would do the Sunshine Boys with Gilbert if we could do it in a bed, lying down. in a bed, lying down. And the teleprompter was above us on the ceiling.
Starting point is 01:20:34 And all you saw were our toes. And they would cut out three quarters of the play. Yeah. As a matter of fact, I'll have Mark Lynn Baker work with Gilbert. He'll actually want to do it. Unless Gilbert comes up with somebody, he's fucked. Another actor we love. Yeah. Any other thing you want to plug, Lewis?
Starting point is 01:21:03 You want to plug the 52nd Street Project or the Rusty McGee Clinic or any of these wonderful? No, just, you know, just, you know, I think the only you know, it's the 52nd Street Project I work with, which is mentoring. Basically, it's just at this point in time, the thing I would say is just, you know, wherever you can give a little, give a little. Be whatever your favorite thing is. Yeah. You know, do it. I do it with CF and the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Sure. And I did it with the National Comedy Center.
Starting point is 01:21:37 And there's certain things that are near and dear to everybody out there. And you don't have to give. The other thing that people got to realize, you know, you don't got to give a ton of money you just give a little give whatever you can and uh and people do do that i mean they're pretty remarkable when it comes to their they're much much more so than people who have a lot of money um folks really are uh have a certain generosity of spirit. And that's one of the reasons I think we'll survive. And if the folks in, you know, the powers that be pay attention to that and realize that they're responsible in terms of doing that. And to keep folks afloat.
Starting point is 01:22:25 You know, my friends, you know, if it's a restaurant that's near you, you know, give them some business. Because, like my friend, you know, I'll give a shout out to Steve Olson. Yeah, the West Bank. The West Bank Cafe. Yeah, great place. Which is a great place. And he's, you know, he's barely keeping it above water and it's, you know,
Starting point is 01:22:47 and it's tough on them, you know, and he's doing the best that he can and continues to send out really great food. And if you live in the neighborhood, if you live in the around Times Square or anywhere within a fair amount of, you know, around here, you know, it's well worth getting a delivery from them or hopping in to eat there.
Starting point is 01:23:13 One of New York's great haunts. Yes. And the first time I saw you live. Yeah. And you came out on stage and you offered to give a blowjob to anyone in the audience who could review a play. Who could promote local theater. Yeah. And I said,
Starting point is 01:23:27 and I said, and I said, the reason I was offering is because I was working in the theater, so what's another blowjob? Gilbert, this man has to go play poker.
Starting point is 01:23:41 Oh, okay. Ah, well, this has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and a guest who we can't wait to have back in another 10 years. Our friend, Louis Black. Louis, thanks so much for doing this.
Starting point is 01:24:05 It was great, guys. Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together. Brighter than a lucky penny. When you're near the rain goes, disappears, dear. And I feel so fine just to know that you are mine. My life is sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. That's how this re-reign goes, so come on, join in. to come your way when you're in love to stay. Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, everything that's wonderful is what I feel. Oh, and we're together brighter than a lucky penny.
Starting point is 01:24:59 When you're near, the rain goes, disappears near, that feels so fine. Just to know that you are mine. My life is sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. That's how this rain goes. So come on, join in. Everybody. Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. Everything that's wonderful is sure to come your way. Because you're in love Cause you're in love.
Starting point is 01:25:26 You're in love. And love is here to stay.

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