Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #132: The Cinema of Gilbert Gottfried, Part II

Episode Date: October 5, 2017

This week: "The Beastmaster"! "Aladdin on Ice"! J.Lo becomes Chuck Norris! Renny Harlin gives Gilbert the brush-off! And we salute the GGACP Listener Society! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover Echo from Cirque du Soleil. Now playing under the big top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at cirquetusoleil.com. Echo. Thanks for presenting partner Sun Life. The world is yours to create. Hi, this is Frank Conniff. You're listening to The Amazing Colossal Podcast with Gilbert Gottfried and Frank Santapadre.

For mystery science data, 3000. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried saying, go see my documentary, Gilbert. It's a documentary about me. November 3rd at IFC Theaters in New York City, and November 10th in L.A. and select cities. That's gilbertmovie.com to buy tickets and find information. But more importantly, buy tickets. Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried and this is is Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsessions with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And we're once again recording at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Berterosa, who lost three of our shows. But he did not.

I can always edit this out, you know. You know, he has complete power. He has autonomy over this show. He can do anything he wants. He can give you, like, a Spanish accent. I know. He can embarrass you in ways. It would have helped me doing bad medicine.

It's true. You're doing a callback to in ways. It would have helped me doing bad medicine. That's true. You're doing a callback to the last episode. Paul Rayburn is here too. Ah, yes. Our trusted researcher. And he has absolutely no power as opposed to Frank. That's why Frank and I get along so well. He looks down on his phone for research and that's the last we hear.

I think he's checking suicide hotline. We can't see what he's looking at. Paul, thanks for coming back. Sure. And taking some more abuse. As we all gather once again. From Gilbert. Have any celebrities died since we did the last episode?

Any updates you want to mention on that? Here's what we're doing. This is part two of Producer of the Month for the month of August was suggested by a gentleman named Eric Rine, who is a big fan of this show. Always sends us ideas. And we love

Eric. We could use some new ideas. We'd love if people would make some suggestions for Producer of the Month shows. And they can do that by going to Patreon, P-A-T-r-e-o-n dot com slash gilbert godfrey gilbert godfrey your whole name yeah gilbert godfrey yes and we have a couple we have a couple of good ideas this was one uh we seized upon eric wanted to hear uh stories he wanted to hear stories and anecdotes from the cinema history of Gilbert Gottfried.

So last week we talked about your first, I guess, eight feature films. Yes. Your first eight or nine feature films. It's turned into Inside the Actor's Studio with Gilbert Gottfried. And we only got through one page, one IMDB page of your feature credits. These are not TV credits or video games or anything else. This is just your features. Cinematic art.

It's cinematic art. Yes, absolutely. And we wanted to see how much you remembered, and you did pretty well. You knew a lot of details about every one of those movies, including the one where you got laid. Well, that I can never forget. I was happy to hear that. You get aroused when you put that movie in the DVD player?

It should be. It should be. In fact, I think I'll ask him if he got laid on the set of every one of these as we go on as a CODA. We're trying to document some history here. So we left off with, what was it, Problem Child 2, and we were about, where we left off, let's see here, 1991 was Problem Child 2, and we were about to talk about, we're going to go through all of these,

and we were about to talk about a movie called Highway to Hell. Yeah. With Chad Lowe and Mira. I couldn't find any other names in the picture. Yeah. With Chad Lowe and Mira. I couldn't find any other names in the picture. Yeah. And you? There was both, I think, both Stiller and Mira. I didn't even see Stiller's name in the IMDb credits.

Maybe I missed it. I think both Stiller and Mira are in it. And Ben Stiller. Yes, a young Ben Stiller. And Amy Stiller. And Amy, yes. Yeah. And the star, or one of the stars, it was Chad Lowe, of course.

And the girl who was the first Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Swanson. Oh, Christy Swanson. Yeah. She was in the movie, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And this actor who at the time looked like he was going to be the next big thing, and that was Patrick Bergen. Oh, Patrick Bergen. He played Robin Hood for British television.

He was Irish and a good-looking, macho-looking guy. I think he's the heavy in the Julia Roberts movie. Sleeping with the Enemy. Sleeping with the Enemy. Sleeping with the Enemy. Very good. Sleeping with the Enemy has one of my favorite plot moments. He's beating her through the whole movie. And they live on some island.

And they say somehow she got off the island, but there was no boats leaving or anything. island but there was no boats leaving or anything and so in the script they write that julia roberts character secretly had signed up for swimming lessons at the ywca and she swam from the island. Yeah, she swam across an entire lake from an island because the swimming lessons are so good there. That's an endorsement for the YWACA. That it reminds me of, there was the Jennifer Lopez movie. I forget the name of it. I'm sorry to say that I know that. It's called Enough. Ah, yes, yes, yes. My wife watches name of it. I'm sorry to say that I know that. It's called Enough. Oh, yes. Yes.

Yes. My wife watches all of these. And she gets beaten by her husband or boyfriend, and she takes self-defense lessons. Okay. And then turns into Chuck Norris from like once a week. There's a heavy learning annex component to these movies. But in Highway to Hell. Yep.

Who did you play? I played Hitler. Okay. And I'm in hell. And Ben Stiller is in this scene and he's Attila the Hun. Okay. But the credit with, you know, Gilbert Gottfried as Hitler is funnier than the actual scene. Okay, I'm sorry to hear that. It was one of those, like, I'd like people to watch it, just look at the credit.

And the scene itself was never as funny as it should have been. Too bad. Yeah. When I'm going through your IMDb page and I'm looking at the characters' names and I see Hitler, I say, okay, all right, what's the story attached to this? It could have been great. Yeah. A black comedy, I assume. Yeah, yes.

This has nothing to do with the rock and roll song. No, the ACDC song? The ACDC, yeah. I wouldn't think so. And I forget the guy's name was Udo something or other. Udo Kier? Yeah, something like that. I think I know who you're talking about.

Is it kind of a B director? Anyway. Director. What do you got? Ate de Jong. Ate de Jong? Oh, yes, yes, yes. So it wasn't Udo Kier.

No. Well, anybody can get those confused. Sure. Or Ulu Grossbard. I got, oh, geez. I, I, I, oh, I got a flashback from our previous episode. Okay. We were talking about Fort Fairlane.

We were. And I forget the director's name and that he was also foreign oh well paul will look it up oh boy paul the director of fort fair lane trustee researcher i shall do it i think he's dutch or something what's the anecdote oh well i had done Ford Fairlane with him, and then I was out in L.A., and this was a year or two later, and the movie had bombed, and I got invited by somebody to go to one of these trendy night spots where there was a lot of dancing and drugs and i didn't really do drugs and i certainly didn't and i'm standing around and it was one of those where everybody who's anybody

would hang out there and uh and get stoned get laid but i was there and he was the director of fort fairlane who i worked with and and i said to him i called out his name and i said hi hi gilbert gilbert godfrey we worked together and he is ignoring me like he's talking to his friends and i keep yelling his name out and saying hi Remember Ford Farrell? And then Arsenio Hall walks in. And this is when Arsenio Hall was like a big star. His TV show was on. And Arsenio said, hey, Gilbert, how are you? And when this director heard Arsenio acknowledge me, then he goes, oh, Gilbert, how are you?

Son of a bitch. Yeah. That's such a Hollywood story. Yes. Who did you think it was, the director? I've got- Otto Kahn. Rennie Harlan.

Rennie Harlan. Rennie Harlan. Rennie Harlan. That lit up the room. Who would later marry- Geena Davis. Geena Davis. Geena Davis and do that pirate movie. The unwatchable Cutthroat Island.

Yes, which I think pretty much ended Geena Davis' career. Game close. Screenplay is credited to Daniel Waters. Is that anybody? Oh, well, Daniel Waters wrote Heathers. Yeah, terrific writer. There you go. Yeah.

And Hudson Hawk. Yeah. Yeah. And Hudson Hawk. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, he acknowledged me because Arsenio, who was at his height then, acknowledged me. So then it was okay. Total Hollywood story. You know, Drew Friedman's coming on the show, and he has a story similar to that. Yes.

About a party, about meeting people at an industry party. We'll have him come and tell it. Drew Friedman, by the time this comes out, it'll already be gone. But it was the last issue. Of the Village Voice. Village Voice. Yeah, worth plugging. Drew Friedman did a great drawing of me.

Wonderful. And a brief thing about his memories of me. You can find it in the Colossal Listener Society. Amazing Colossal... Yeah, it'll be up on the... It's up. It's up. It is already up on the Amazing Colossal Listener Society. It's a great drawing.

It's always a drawing. He's a brilliant talent. He'll be here with us next week plugging his new book, which I'm proud to say you and I are both in. Oh, wow. And that's a perfect invitation to plug the Listener Society, Paul. I was in too. That's what I was thinking. On Facebook.

Yes, Gilbert, you should sign up. There's a whole group of people. I don't know what kind of people they are. Who think you're special. This is my favorite thing is the people who post on Facebook thinking they're having a conversation with you. Hey, Gilbert. I saw you in San Antonio last week. I'm bringing you a present.

I'm seeing you tonight. And I have to write back and, you know, Gilbert. This is the voice in The Christmas That Almost Wasn't. Oh, yes. Gilbert isn't coming. But we will plug the amazing colossal. Yeah. Colossal.

The amazing colossal. The amazing colossal piping for you. Frank, I can edit that out. You can do plenty of that with Drew next week. The amazing colossal listener society. Well, I'll bring it up with him again. But he used to shade his drawings with like a million tiny dots. Pointillism.

Yes. It's called. And I remember whenever he would – I used to write for Lampoon a lot back then. And whenever he'd come up, I yell out hey it's mr jew dots hey jew dots do some of your jew dots yes it's a long-storied romance between you and drew and we'll pick it up next week when it comes in here um but also go to the amazing colossalal Listener Society page started by Eric Fosco and Rob Smentech. And there's a ton of great, wonderful stuff there.

And join and come. And when you're listening to this show, join the society. Tell us about yourself. Post things. Let us know who you are. You will not find Gilbert there. Unless Dara teaches him how to use a computer. They will find you there.

They will find me. They will find Dara there. And you and Dara teaches him how to use a computer. But they will find you there. They will find me. They will find you there. They will find Dara there. And you, and Dara goes there, and certainly Frank Verderosa is all over the damn thing, so you can converse with any of us. I like to give to the people. I know you do.

You're a giver. I'll have to learn how to do that. Maybe I've done it once or twice. There's a lot of fun stuff up there. Drawings of you and Photoshop and clips and all kinds of weirdness. All kinds of old weird pictures people have dug up of old Hollywood. And God bless the people that post nightly pinups of old stars. Yes, there's one guy in particular whose name is escaping me. But there's all kinds of goodies on there.

There's about 6,000 members now, and we'd love for everybody to come and join if you're on facebook and introduce yourselves to us and join the party we will return to gilbert gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this at bet 365 we don't do ordinary we believe that every sport should be epic every goal every game every point every play from the moments that are remembered This is the show. Ontario only. Please pay responsibly. If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. Introducing TD Insurance for Business, with customized coverage options for your business. Because at TD Insurance, we understand that your business is unique, so your business insurance should be too. Whether you're a shop owner, a pet groomer, a contractor, or a consultant, you can get customized coverage for your business. Contact a licensed TD insurance advisor to learn more. And now back to the show.

We're going to keep going here to 1992, Gilbert. Yes. From Highway to Hell, where you played Hitler. Yes. There you go. I think it's that Victoria Principal. Oh, wow. Frank just brought in a wow a cheesecake shot from the listeners society yeah right yeah your microphone just went up yeah there you go so from a low point with you playing hitler yeah in highway to hell not a funny a funny credit but not a funny scene perhaps years later i would be Abraham Lincoln.

We'll get to that. And that was funny. We'll get to that. But in 1992, possibly your feature breakthrough, you played Iago the Parrot. Yes. In Disney's Aladdin. It's been that long. 1992, yeah.

And I went in and I read for it. I mean, I auditioned. And they let me play around with it a lot and improvise. And I remember, oh, the other two people I heard they were considering were Danny DeVito and Joe Pesci. Oh, interesting. So the call was out for short, unattractive Jews and Italians. You know, I'm kind of picturing Pesci in the part. He would have been terrific.

It's very different. Yeah. Yeah. And Danny DeVito, maybe a little closer to you, somewhere in the middle of you and Joe Pesci. Oh, yeah. And also very, very different. And you and Robin never actually had scenes together.

No, that's the fun. I mean, you had scenes together, but you didn't record together. I hear all these stories about, oh, God, I was there when they put Gilbert and Robin in that recording booth. That was crazy. And I never ran into him once in the making of Aladdin him once that's amazing it's a better story though if you did oh yeah print the legend and and um uh uh the man who shot liberty fallon yes that's it that's the reference edmund o'brien you bet you bet and um that's it. That's the reference. With Edmund O'Brien. You bet. You bet.

That's the reference. 1992, that was a breakthrough for you. Yeah, and so then I hadn't heard for a long time, so I thought, oh, I didn't get this. And then they called me and wanted me. And I think one of the higher-ups at Disney said, it may have been Roy Disney, who said, I don't know, he sounds a little Borscht Belt, which I thought, Jew? That's some failed anti-Semitism there. Yes. Wow. He sounds like kind of New York businessman.

Hmm. Sounds like kind of New York businessman. You're so perfect in that role, and it's such a contrast to everybody else in the picture. Yeah, and it was a good decision by the director. When they were originally writing it, they had the idea for Jafar to be this crazy madman, and the parrot would be like an Alec Guinness type oh I see but then they used me and and they were really good Disney was Walt no they were really good at letting me just play around yeah with with the dialogue and and it was fun but i never met aladdin or the princess yeah until the movie was coming interesting and it became one of your signature

roles really a role you reprise many times there's an entire generation of people millions who who know you from aladdin yeah absolutely and. And it was a monster hit. I'd also like to repeat that when I was in Disney World last year with my wife, I scoured the entire park. Every park. I went to the goddamn Magic Kingdom,

Animal Kingdom. I said, we got to get Gilbert a little, we'll find him a little Iago thing and we'll bring it home. It'll be, you know, a nice little, I like to bring little gifts home from my trips, a little souvenir. And she said, oh, that'll be easy to find. We'll get a key chain.

Yeah. We'll get a little stuffed toy. We'll get a little something something. You'd think it would be like finding Mickey Mouse. Four goddamn parks. I went to the Hollywood park. I went to every gift shop. It was a wild goose chase.

Oh, you need to go to Animal Kingdom. Oh, this could not find. Wow. This can't be an accident. We couldn't find. Something's going on here. We could not find one. I think it's, again, same kind of.

They're so loyal. I could not find. Then we were on Main Street in the Magic Kingdom, and staring at me from across one of the gift shops is a giant display, a cardboard display in a window of Iago. And they wouldn't sell it to me. Oh, wow. I don't know how I was going to get it on the plane. Anyway, that's the one I found.

What I remember, too, about the one premiere they had was at the El Capitan Theater in LA. That's where I saw it. It was at the El Capitan Theater in LA. That's where I saw it. And I remember that morning, before they picked me up, they kept showing Basic Instinct with Sharon Stone, where she crosses her legs. And I was like pretty much sitting up. I had it timed each time they'd show the movie and i'd click on

and i'd have my nose pressed against the screen try to see more and and then i'm walking in to the premiere of aladdin and and some woman says to, you're wonderful in this picture. And I turn around and it's Sharon Stone. Oh, that's freaky. Very freaky. Love that. And I came very close but held myself back to say, oh, I've been looking at your pussy all morning. You showed a little restraint there, huh?

Yes. I was a gentleman. What came? Very gentle. So refined. Oh, my God. That would have made a great story. With Aladdin, they had two direct videos.

That's right. One with Return of Jafar, where I sing a couple of songs. And the genie, Robin didn't come back for that, so the genie was... Dan Castellaneta. Yes. The great Dan Castellaneta. Voice of Homer Simpson. Yeah, yeah.

You did some video games, too. Yes. And then there was the Prince of Thieves, I think, was the third one. I can't remember. Well, it's on here, but yeah. And that Robin did come back for. Right, and the Aladdin series, and of course, the immortal Aladdin on ice in 1995. Yeah, I hurt my knee terribly skating.

It says here you were uncredited for Aladdin on Ice. Did you remove your name from the credits? And I remember I had to record basically the entire movie right before I was going on a plane to do a club somewhere. And we did the entire movie in like an hour just for disney on ice that is so cool okay here we're gonna move on to 1994 and i love this one because i'm going through the actors in the movie and i see bernie I see Lisa Left Eye Lopez and I see Chris Tucker and I'm thinking there aren't any white people

in this movie except Gilbert. Then this is House Party 3. Yes. Kid and play. And you play the luggage clerk. It says here you're a luggage clerk. And I remember this is how they were how low budget this was,

they had me as a luggage clerk at the airport, and after they said, okay, that's a wrap for Gilbert Gottfried, I went, they shot it at the airport, so I walked to my gate. You had your bags packed on the set? Yeah. Yeah, and... Was it a two-day shoot, a one-day shoot, or was it a small part? It was a one-day shoot.

Right, right, right. So you parlayed your vast success in Aladdin into a walk-on in House Party 3. Yeah, not a good planned strategy there. More stellar career management. Most people would go, and that's when I did the Academy Award. Well, you're coming off a mega hit. Yeah. And one of the biggest films of the year.

That's when I did the definitive King Lear or something. But no, I do House, not even House Party, but House Party 3. And by the time they get to 3, no matter what the movie, it's the worst one. Hilarious. So this was House Party 3. Hilarious. So this was House Party 3. Hilarious. Okay, then feature-wise, and remember, we'll reiterate, we're not doing any TV credits. This is the cinema of Gilbert Gottfried.

So in 1994, you were... I feel like Lipton. A little picture called Thumbelina. Thumbelina! Thumbelina. In 1994, you were Mr. Beetle. Yeah. Yeah, I think either Barclay or Berkeley Beetle. And that one, it was done by Don Bluth.

Oh, Don Bluth. Sure. Yeah. Sure, the. The Land Before Time. And Don Bluth, it was funny because he used to be a Disney animator. That's correct. And someone credited Don Bluth with giving Disney the idea with his movies to start releasing feature length animation again. That's interesting.

Because I think they had gone away from it. And then he came out with a hit film. And then they decided, hey, maybe we should be doing this. Did you enjoy your work on Thumbelina as Mr. Beetle? That was fun to do. You do it here in L.A. You just went and recorded it. I think, yeah.

It was a voice job. Yeah. Yeah. And, oh, Barry Manilow did the music. Yeah. Barry Manilow was doing scores for Don Bluth at that time because he did a picture called The Pebble and the Penguin. Oh, yeah.

With Marty Short. Charo was in this. Charo was in Thumbelina? Charo was in it? You buried the lead, Gil. Mrs. Ma Toad. Wow. Yeah, and who else?

There were a couple of other. Who else you got, Paul? Let me see. The Thumbelina cast. Hold on here. Okay. Fastest thumbs in the West. Paul Rayburn.

I had it. I had it. I was so close. in the West. I had it. I had it. I was so close. And I remember at the time they were looking for the voice also

of a Mexican frog and I suggested to them Anthony Quinn who I thought would have been great. Did they use him? No. So here's who we got. Who we got? Gino Conforti. Oh, Gino Conforti. Oh, we gotta get him. We gotta call Gino.

We have to get him on the show. We're gonna call him this week. We love Gino. You know how much fun it is to throw these names out to you guys. We love Gino Conforti. He would always pop up on on Threes Company. Yeah. He'd be like an angry

busboy or something. He played Juckwimo or Huckwimo. He's around. Barbara Cook. Is that the singer? Barbara Cook. She just passed away. She just passed away last week. Jodie Benson was Thumbelina.

Oh, yeah. Oh, and Jodie Benson, was she the Little Mermaid also? She might have been. She might have been. Sounds familiar. Let me go through this cast and I'll tell you. Will Ryan, June Foray. Oh, June Foray. Oh, the great June Foray. Yeah. Yeah. been she might have been let me go through this cast and i'll check it will ryan june foray oh june foray was a great june foray yeah yeah and uh gary imhoff charo we talked about lauren lester

plays the gringo i don't know and what i remember about that movie disney i sang a couple of songs in their Aladdin sequels like forget about love and looking out for me and all these others and so with Disney it was okay to have me as a singer yes but uh Thumbelina they dubbed in a guy imitating my voice. Oh, that's outrageous. Yeah. Let's see. You got paid to sing. Yeah.

I wish I could show you the cast photos, and the cast that shows Conforti and great people. Then you get, there's about 20 or 30. Then you get those things where there's no picture. Right, right, yeah. And then you get about five things where there's no picture, and the very last thing is Gilbert. With a lovely picture, I might add.

What those bastards dubbed his voice. They Marnie Nixoned you. Yeah. Oh, that's right. That's right. So, Jody, go ahead. No, no. It failed at box office, I'm believing.

I think Jody Benson was the Little Mermaid. As an aside, she was the Little Mermaid. Yeah. Toy Story 3, Toy Story. She was Barbie in Toy Story 3. She had a good career. 2, Little Mermaid, Clarence, a whole bunch of stuff. Yeah.

All right. We're going to wrap with this one because we're winding this one down. And this is part two, once again, of Gilbert's cinematic triumphs. And you brought this movie up on last week's recording with Rob. We had the great voiceover artist Rob Paulson on the show. And you said that you had appeared in a movie with Mark Hamill. Yes. In 1994. Mark Hamill and Mark Singer.

And the Beastmaster. And Adrian Barbeau. Oh, and Debra, I'd never met Adrian Barbeau in that, but Debra Sheldon was in it. She was like, she for a while was popular and she became a working actress in these BNC movies. She'd show up and show her naked body. Okay. And. The movie was called Silk Degrees. Yeah.

Her A film was Body Double. Oh, yes. The Craig Wasson De Palma. Yes. Thing. So. What was the plot of Silk Degrees and why was it named after a Boss Skaggs album? Oh

Well, I guess Do you remember the plot or should I? I was in two things with the word silk You played Renee Yes, I was playing a movie director Of course. And I was in Silk Degrees, and I also appeared in two episodes of a USA detective show called Silk Stalking. That same year. Yeah.

Stalking or stalking? Stalking. Silk Stalking. I was playing an angry, egotistical director. best thing about uh we should find you should you should look up the trailer for it for silk degrees yeah yeah okay because you know it had all these guys who were big in these b and c action tit and you know it was one of those action, some tits and ass. Okay. A car exploding. Oh, not one of those. A motorcycle.

You know, what those long cannons you hold. A bazooka. A bazooka. And then another naked girl. So in the trailer, they're showing it, you know, hard hitting, you know, and the beats like, Look at Miami Vice knockoffs. Yes. Yeah.

And the director is one of those guys. Real macho. And in between everything, they're showing scenes of like, know 10 guys being shot down a guy crashing through a window a girl like opening up her blouse another guy being machine gunned off the roof of a building and then a guy and girl falling into a pool naked and homeless and they're going Mark Hamill Mark Singer Gilbert Gottfried

so hilarious it was like you think wow this Gilbert Gottfried used to be an action hero. That's hilarious. They're taking you right out of it. And two federal agents take her to a remote lodge to protect her until the trial, but the lodge is not as remote as they think it is.

Ah. Wow. So you really parlayed your success in Aladdin into a long winning streak. It's a case study in managing a show business career. It is. Was Danny Rose running your career at this time? We have barely, as I like to say on this show,

scratched the surface of Gilbert's cinema career. And we will do more next time. Quickly, in two episodes, we have gotten through The House of God, Bad Medicine, Beverly Hills Cop 2, Hot Trot, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Problem Child 1, Problem Child 2, Look Who's Talking 2, Highway to Hell. Of course, Aladdin. House Party. Three, Thumbelina and Silk Degrees. How many stars can stand up against something like that? Not many. Not many. This is like AFI Life Achievement Award material.

This is like, you know, Jack Haley Jr. comes out. The Irving, what is it? Yeah, the Irving Thalberg Award. So we're up to 1994. Wow. We're about maybe halfway home. Yeah. What is that, 20 years ago?

Yeah. 22 years ago? So we got quite a ways to go. I can't wait until the next one. It's exciting, isn't it? It is. We've got to get James Lipton. What's out there?

We've got to get James Lipton in here to do the Pivo test to close this out. But anyway, we'll keep these coming and these are a lot of fun to do. And your memory by the way. Isn't it incredible? It's amazing. He remembers the hotel. His nose was pressed to Sharon Stone's vagina. He had a pudding.

He knows what he ate. What cab he took. I took my luggage. It's like you have photographic memory i i don't remember the director's name but i remember sharon stone's priorities that's that's what she intended to have she got her wish all right we'll wrap and and and i should say that sharon stone when that movie came out, was saying she had no idea they were filming her. Yeah. I believe she had no idea that your nose was pressed on the screen in a hotel room in Miami.

I mean, she should have gotten suspicious when the lights and camera were an inch away from her. They had a separate key light. They had a guy key light. Yeah. They had a guy just for the vagina light. Yeah, and when the makeup man kept powdering it for her. Yeah, and she said, this can't be what it looks like. Are you upset that you were never asked to do a similar scene?

Oh, yes. In all these features? Where you see my dick while I'm crossing my legs. We've live-streamed in those shorts. It's kind of the same thing. We're close. We've come close. Yeah, you'd see Michael Douglas and Wayne Knight drooling as my dick falls out.

You know, someone's going to edit that together now and put it on social media. Of course. Of course. All right. And so I'm Gilbert Gottfried, and this has been Gilbert and Frank's amazing, colossal obsessions with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And this has been the career of Gilbert Gottfried to be continued.

Hey, Gilbert, I almost don't want to say this, but there's been a large earthquake in Japan. And I don't want to have an episode celebrating your career ended as well. It's a whole other show. See you next time. One, two, three, four. Colossal Obsessions. Colossal Obsessions.