Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #140: Writer-comedian J.J. Wall: Part 1

Episode Date: November 30, 2017

This week: Gilbert minds the store! J.J. impersonates Robocop! Jackie Gleason trashes the script! Tom Arnold hits the john! And Quake gets a macho makeover! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit meg...aphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 At Bet365, we don't do ordinary. We believe that every sport should be epic. Every goal, every game, every point, every play. From the moments that are remembered forever to the ones you've already forgotten. Whether it's a game-winning goal in the final seconds of overtime or a shot-on goal in the first period. So whatever the sport, whatever the moment,
Starting point is 00:00:20 it's never ordinary. At Bet365. Must be 19 or older. Ontario only. Please pay responsibly. If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit's never ordinary. At bet 365. Must be 19 or older. Ontario only. Please pay responsibly. If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. That's the sound of unaged whiskey transforming into Jack Daniel's Tennessee whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Around 1860, Nearest Green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time.
Starting point is 00:00:48 This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and this is Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions, and where, once again, we're calling it Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Verderosa. And we have a guest here who looks and sounds vaguely familiar to me. And he's a producer, director, and whatever the hell you do behind this scene. Mostly sit around and drink. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:52 He's a comedy writer, an actor, a Renaissance man. Which shows like Blossom, Grace Under Fire, Roseanne. Till Death. Till Death, a little Till Death, a little Tom Arnold. Yes, Tom Arnold. Yes.. Little till death. Little Tom Arnold. Yes. Tom Arnold. Yes. Less than perfect.
Starting point is 00:02:08 A show I liked. That was a good show. And someone who I remember since our days going to catch a rising star every night. Oh, yeah. When you were just a young stripling lad. What year are we talking about, guys? I think 1980-ish. Somewhere in there. Just a young stripling lad. What year are we talking about, guys? I think 1980-ish.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Somewhere in there. Maybe 79, 80, 81. Yeah. And I had already been going there a long time before. Right. Yeah. Yeah, Adrian actually brought me in. Adrian Tosh.
Starting point is 00:02:40 Yeah. The late Adrian Tosh. Yes. Funny lady. Quite great. Way older than we ever thought, Adrian Tosh. Yes. Funny lady. Way great. Way older than we ever thought, Adrian Tosh. Hey, Gilbert, do you think we should tell people who you're interviewing? Oh, that's right. Thank you, Frank.
Starting point is 00:02:55 Well, I'm so world-renowned that it's very rarely necessary. Slight. Slight. Ladies and gentlemen, J.J. Wall. Thank you. Welcome. Thank you. Please.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Welcome, J.J. Thank you. Now, I remember one time being out in L.A. And you and your wife, Marilyn, were going to be going out of town. And you said you could stay at our apartment. Yes. Which had a beautiful view of all of Los Angeles. Yes.
Starting point is 00:03:31 And you said, you just, you know, just feed the cat, change the litter, keep taking the mail, pile it neatly by the door and water the plants. Pretty much. Yeah. And then you came home. Yes. Yeah. And there was a bottle of Tide in the refrigerator.
Starting point is 00:03:53 All of the shades in this beautiful view apartment were drawn tight shut. Of course. The plants were dead. And I believe the cat was half dead. Did you not feed the cat and change the litter? Well, in
Starting point is 00:04:11 old fairness, if you leave tied out, it could turn sour. Yes, so I know that you were trying to preserve it. Did you do your socks and underwear in JJ's sink? I hesitate to...
Starting point is 00:04:30 Yes. Yeah, that's why the tide was... He was washing undergarments in your sink, JJ. I didn't realize until I saw that piece of shit movie that that was actually what must have happened. Were you jerking off children or sharks? I keep mixing that up in the movie. Oh, it wasn't you.
Starting point is 00:04:49 It was a French guy on a white robe. Yeah, you just saw some weird movie, you see. Yes, that's right. And people looked vaguely familiar in it. And what was this movie with the French guy? I think it was called Gilbert. What was this movie with the French guys? I think it was called Gilbert.
Starting point is 00:05:10 And he either masturbated children or sharks. I never quite figured that out. He always wore a white robe. A stolen white robe. A stolen white robe with a W on it. I assume that was for whacking off or something. Yes. But I did watch that today.
Starting point is 00:05:31 Now, I don't know if you'd want to admit to this on the air, but you worked for two, and we could cut this out if you don't. Uh-oh. You worked for two behind-the-scenes in two shows, You worked for two behind the scenes in two shows, Grace Under Fire. Right. With Brett Butler. Brett Butler, yes. And, of course, Roseanne with Roseanne. Well, I didn't work on Roseanne.
Starting point is 00:05:57 She thought I worked on Roseanne. Roseanne thought I worked on her. Yeah. Because she would come out of her offices periodically and yell at me and then say, Oh, you're not one of mine. She would storm back in. It was hilarious. It was.
Starting point is 00:06:10 But then I also then worked for Tom Arnold. Do you remember when you were on Tom Arnold? I should say, do you remember Tom Arnold, first of all? Yeah, yeah. You asked me to come on the Tom Arnold show. And remember, he and I almost had the physical actual confrontation. Oh, tell us about this. It was one of the most frightening experiences of my life because I
Starting point is 00:06:28 couldn't stop my feet from moving forward. And I was going at him. Yeah. He was complaining about some stupid joke or whatever it was. And you were there just kind of like, oh, this should be fun. You didn't think to break it up, Gil? No. Be a
Starting point is 00:06:43 peacemaker? Yeah, he didn't step in. Yeah, I was going to do my kickboxing. Yes. And now I think it was said that there was a trifecta if you worked behind the scenes. Well, also then Cybepard would have been included. There were four Carsey-Werner shows that were all pretty difficult. And, well, it was Grace Under Fire, but it started with Home Improvement. That's where it all started.
Starting point is 00:07:17 Really? Home Improvement, then Grace Under Fire, then Sybil. And Home Improvement, they fired Matt Williams, I think was his last name. That's right. Who was the creator of the show. Yep. And then, you know,
Starting point is 00:07:31 things kind of changed from that point on. They used to call those shows, if I have this right, writer eaters. Because they would eat writers alive. Yeah. Yeah, they were mean to writers.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Yeah. Generally. That was the... The actors, not necessarily the studio The studio was okay Except they allowed that behavior I know Chuck Lorre also had his issues With Brett Butler
Starting point is 00:07:53 And Sybil I came on second year Yeah, he went from Roseanne to Brett Butler to Sybil So he did have the trifecta So he was like a war hero. Combat pay. In his way, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:10 Yeah. Yep, in his way. And what were some of the things that they would do that would make life so difficult? Spit on scripts and throw them in the garbage. Wow. That was one thing. on scripts and throw them in the garbage. Wow.
Starting point is 00:08:24 That was one thing. But, and I, oh, Brett used to love to do Corky from, I think it was called Life Goes On. Oh, yeah. Down syndrome. Oh, yeah. She used to imitate him and say, what kind of script is this? This is shit. And he would throw it in the garbage. So there were variations.
Starting point is 00:08:43 It always ended up with the script being thrown in the garbage. That's like Gleason-level stuff, as far as writer abuse goes. Well, Gleason, I remember a friend of mine worked on Gleason, and he said at one point Gleason turned to Sammy Spear, who was his musical director for eons, and said, Sammy, the music's no good. It's never been any good. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:09:04 At that point, I think Sammy sammy spirit worked for him for 30 years and and he used to just i i heard also from the same guy that um gleason would pick up the script and just like just drop the pages in the garbage next yes one page at a time yeah yeah i guess in later years just as life speeded up, I guess the sitcom stars decided they'd just throw the whole script away. Yeah. Go through it one page at a time. I heard, I hope it's true, but I feel for the writers, that Gleason would throw their paychecks in the swimming pool and say, dive for them, boys. I heard that was Hope.
Starting point is 00:09:41 Oh, was it Hope? Bob Hope was a notorious genius. I'm not sure that story is to his, but I mean, I remember one very funny writer's story about Bob Hope. And Bob Hope used to have his golf balls all around the lobby of his house. And he used to make the writers come over there to get paid, and he would toss the checks off of his balcony to them. Interior balcony. Jesus Christ. to them. Interior. Jesus Christ. And this one guy came in with his name on a golf ball and planted the golf ball in one of Bob's baskets of golf balls. And then on his way out, after he
Starting point is 00:10:12 scrambled for his check, he reached in and he picked up a golf ball and hope said, uh, what are you doing? Stealing my golf ball? And the guy said, no, no, no, this one is mine. No, it can't be yours. Those are my golf balls. And he said, well, it's got my name on it. Hope completely freaked out. Wow. Had no idea what to do. And I think. Well, enjoy the golf ball then.
Starting point is 00:10:33 And I think you're the one that told me the story that Hope, one time, like the writers, would have to be with, you know, on call 24 hours. Yes, yes. He could call them 3 o'clock in the morning. Yeah, yeah. And they'd— That's right. And one time there was a writer in bed with his wife about to go to sleep. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:57 And could you tell that story? She—yeah. Hope called up because he wanted to talk to the guy, and she answered the phone, and the guy was like, no, don't tell him I'm here. Don't tell him I'm here. And Hope finally said, well, where is he? And she said, well, he said he was with you. And Hope said, oh, yeah, there he is right now. Sorry about that. Oh, that's wonderful. So that tells you right there how many times Bob Hope fucked around on Dolores. St. Charles Borromeo, which is a massive Catholic church, I hope I don't get in trouble for this, is called the church that Pussy built because every time Bob Hope fucked around on Dolores,
Starting point is 00:11:41 he had to give a donation to the church. Fantastic. This is gold. Now, I've heard that. I obviously wasn't there personally for that, but I've heard it from enough people, I kind of believe. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast after this. And now back to the show.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Do you know Gene Parrott? Do you know any of Hope's writers, JJ? I may have met them because I belong to the same golf club as him for a little while, but I can't say actually. We got to get a Hope writer on here and try to verify. And verify. Because I heard these stories generally from longtime Tonight Show writers and those kind of writers, the variety writers.
Starting point is 00:12:21 So that's why I tend to believe them. Plus, I like the stories, so I'm going to believe them anyway. Since we're talking about when you guys met back in the days, in the improv days, I want to ask you a little bit about your act, J.J. Houston. And by the way, one of your Carson shows is on YouTube. I watched it today. Do you know that? Oh, gosh.
Starting point is 00:12:37 You were on with Lee Volman. Oh, that might have been my first one. I think it was your second one. I think the first one was Charles Grodin. Yes, you may be right. Oh, that might have been my first one. I think it was your second one. I think the first one was Charles Grodin. But I'm wondering. Yes, you may be right. You used to do a bit where you would take strange suggestions, you would take unrelated suggestions from the audience and turn it into a song.
Starting point is 00:12:54 That was your closer? Yeah, my closer. And it could be a Motown opera or a blues song or a country song. And it was kind of half memory trick and half song because I think the maximum number of suggestions I ever took was 17. And I remembered them and managed it. But it was a great closer. It's impressive.
Starting point is 00:13:11 Yeah. I always say I was a much better live act than I was ever a TV act. I did well enough on TV. Do you remember this, Gil? Do you remember him doing this? I do. That was the ending. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:21 That's right. You'd pick out a bunch of words from the audience and you'd make it into an entire song with those words right right and when it worked it was really really fun of course when it didn't work was horrible and to show how uh how like psychotically secretive I am, one time after I've known you for, like, God knows how many. A long time, yes. And had pretended to be my good friend for a long time. And so you called the house. That's right.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Yeah. And Dara picked up. And she said, I think it's finally time. And I kind of knew a little while before that because of your friendship with my daughter, with Daisy, who you never said anything inappropriate to. I'm sure. I'll get to that in a minute. I'm absolutely sure that's true. But yeah, Dara finally said, JJ, do you know who this is?
Starting point is 00:14:27 And that's how we met. You actually never told me. Yeah. Dara just kind of broke the silence. And like I said, I had a little suspicion. My daughter, the classical pianist, by the way, when she would excuse herself from our dinner table after we fed Gilbert for free for the seventh time. I know it well. Yes. our dinner table after we fed Gilbert for free for the 70th time. I know it well. Yes, she would be going off to practice her classical piano,
Starting point is 00:14:47 and he would say, you know what happens to the girls that practice piano? They become junkie dyke prostitutes. So nice. How old was she at this point? Six, seven, eight. Nice. I mean, he said it for years, but probably started around that age. Nice.
Starting point is 00:15:04 I mean, he's had it for years, but probably started around that age. And I remember you one time saying to me, we were talking on the phone, you said, so you're coming out to L.A. this week. And I said, oh, how'd you know? And you said, well, you were talking to my daughter, and in between calling her a big tyke, you said you'll be in L.A. and you'll stop. That's how I found out. I assume your daughter has grown up well-adjusted in spite of this. She actually has. I don't know how she ever dealt with him as a child, but she somehow did.
Starting point is 00:15:43 Good for her. It's the only faith I have that his children will end up okay. There's no chance of that. Well, that and Dara. Yeah, they got a 50-50 shot. Tell us about those Carson shows, JJ. That was a big deal for you at the time.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Oh, yeah. Well, if nothing else, it doubled or tripled your pay, so that part was good on the road. The first one I thought was good, and I had an ad lib in the middle of it, which was a lot of fun. And the second one I thought was better. I never did had an ad lib in the middle of it which was a lot of fun and the second one i thought was better i never did get called over the couch which was a bit of a disappointment but uh i yeah it was it was fun but it was still a you know a feather
Starting point is 00:16:15 in your cap to be called back a second time oh without question and i got one of those you know hey he gave me the yeah okay so today it's great Yeah. And I also remember that the two of us and your wife were picked out to do these comedy mill of beer commercials. That's right. That's right. And we came out here together. Remember? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:40 Los Angeles. I mean, I should say. Yeah. We flew out together. And yeah, I remember you played like a bartender in the commercial. You ain't going to see no Ruskies drink or make beer like that, I think was the line. And literally that week, the Russians shot down KAL,
Starting point is 00:16:59 Korean Airlines 007 or whatever the number of the flight was. And they yanked the commercial off the air so quickly. Oh, man. My head was probably spinning on air. And that was another one that I thought was kind of, oh, boy, this is a big break. Oh, yeah. I remember, what's his name? The guy with the bullhorn, Glenn Super.
Starting point is 00:17:14 Oh, Glenn Super. Yeah, he did that campaign. Mr. Bullhorn. Yes. And then I remember my commercial never made it to the air because I improvised two beer bottles talking to each other. And they fucked? And the head of the agency said that they felt that one of the beer bottles seemed gay. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:17:43 Unbelievable. We can't do that Which almost tells you automatically That the head of the agency was gay Oh yes Almost by definition You remember Quisp and Quake? Do you remember the cereals?
Starting point is 00:17:56 The breakfast cereals? Yes, it was like Jerry Lewis imitator Doing Quisp And a John Wayne imitator was Quake I knew a guy named Al Kilgore was an illustrator
Starting point is 00:18:07 who designed those characters and they thought the sponsor thought that the design of Quake that he was too effeminate
Starting point is 00:18:14 and that was a minor he got a minor helmet and they scrapped him they scrapped the original art
Starting point is 00:18:21 and they redrew him they redesigned him and he came back as a gaucho. He came back because he was too gay.
Starting point is 00:18:32 Too effeminate serial mascot. I don't think I've ever heard of that before. Yeah, it's a fun story. How did you make the transition from doing stand-up to getting into half hours? As a warm-up comic? It was a couple of different ways. Yes, warm-up comic was definitely one. At one point, I was the king of the warm-ups out here. That taught me never to want to be king of a country that I didn't want to live in.
Starting point is 00:18:54 It's the toughest job in show business. Very difficult. Being a warm-up fan. And wonderful. I mean, I got to know all the people at Cheers and all the people at Newhart. And it was great that way. But it was really, you know, you're basically doing some form of stand-up for four hours except for somebody else, not for your...
Starting point is 00:19:09 Right, they haven't really come to see you. Right, right. And then I was also, you know, a couple of them to give me a job doing studio warm-ups would give me a script assignment or a part or whatever, and I always kind of said to my wife that, you know, well, at one point or another, one of these three things will pull me further. And the writing, the TV writing started in producing. And also my daughter was born around then, so I wanted to kind of stay off the road a
Starting point is 00:19:32 little bit more. So that's basically it. I kind of stumbled into it. I don't think, stand-ups, I think, are among the few breeds that actually do plan on something. I think by and large, most of us kind of stumble through and wind up someplace one day. Well, I know a lot of standups who became half hour writers. So one of our mutual friend, Tom Hertz.
Starting point is 00:19:52 Tom is a good friend. Yeah, for one. Yeah, that's true. That's true. I think there was an era. I think the 80s and more the 90s, they drew a lot of standups. I think Roseanne started that,
Starting point is 00:20:03 you know, Tim Allen, whatever he said about it before. Basically, it was all that trend so there and seinfeld obviously yes there were stand-ups heading shows so it made sense that they hired stand-ups to write them too i think david feldman was a writer on roseanne oh yeah and and it's i always uh it's always funny when I'll watch the closing credits of a sitcom and I'll go, oh, I remember him. And it'll be all these different comics. Oh, yeah. Oh, you'd see like Billy Gruntfest's name would show up on Mad About You or Steve Skrovan or these guys. I saw Skrovan a couple of weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:20:41 Skrovan plays baseball on my daughter's baseball team. On my daughter's boyfriend's baseball team. Although she's playing next week. But yeah, I saw Skrovan a couple of weeks ago. Sprovan plays baseball on my daughter's baseball team. On my daughter's boyfriend's baseball team. Although she's playing next week. But yeah, I saw Sprovan. Funny guy. He's a nice guy, too. Yeah. Was the first show FM with Robert Hayes?
Starting point is 00:20:54 Was that the first sitcom? No, it was the same producer, Alan Burns. Oh, great Alan Burns. Yeah. But I think it was that show before. Eisenhower and Lutz. Eisenhower and Lutz. Eisenhower and Lutz. Starring Scott Bakula and Patricia Richardson.
Starting point is 00:21:09 So obviously this guy had an eye for talent, you know, because both of them have lengthy careers. But yeah, Eisenhower and Lutz was the first script. And then Lenny Clark Show was the first actual staff job. And they had an actor called Peter Dobson that we knew was going to get himself in trouble because he would do things like get haircuts between the first show and the second show. I mean,
Starting point is 00:21:32 severe haircuts. And we did a run through. We were all pissed off at him. And we changed his character's name to Mr. Dickhead. He got so pissed off. That's funny. Lenny Clark, another funny guy. Yeah. Lenny Clark, another funny guy.
Starting point is 00:21:47 Yeah, Lenny is a very funny guy. He's a sweetheart. Yes. I also remember working on one of your shows, and I guess maybe it was a Universal production because we were right near the theme park. Oh, yeah, that would have been the Tom Arnold show. And I started nagging you to get me on the rides.
Starting point is 00:22:13 Yes. At Juniper. And you had like writing to do and rewrite the whole script and everything. And then finally, of course, because I kept nagging you, you took me there, and I remember you going, I don't know when it became the producer's job to get Hildit on the rides. And I was the executive producer and the showrunner.
Starting point is 00:22:41 I'm driving you around in a golf cart to put you on roller coasters. Maybe that's the reason I'm not a bigger deal today. Maybe I spent too much time doing that. You don't strike me as a rides guy, Gilbert. Yeah. You like a roller coaster, huh? No, no, no roller coaster oh just the kiddie rides yeah like this like why like that like the mr. Toad's
Starting point is 00:23:09 magic exactly yeah the ET ride on the bike oh yeah oh where you got a shoe that stuff as you okay a man who grew up in Coney Island who doesn't go on a roller doesn't go on a roller coaster. Doesn't go on a roller coaster. I've been on roller coasters, but I never really enjoyed them. Now, I've been on my last one now. Daisy, my daughter and I, went on a kind of quest one time. We went on, I think, seven or ten roller coasters in one day, and then it was like, okay, that's enough of that.
Starting point is 00:23:39 Next one is going to be a stroke. Speaking of character names, J.J., you were talking about how you changed the name of Dobson's character. How did a character named J.J. Wall show up on the Newhart show? I was doing the warm-ups for Newhart, and that was one of the ways they kept me there. I don't remember that they named any character named J.J. Wall. I found doing some research.
Starting point is 00:24:02 Yep. I'll send it to you. It's on IMdb a character named jj wall and you played you played a security guard yourself yes i played floyd d barber and they actually cut out my best line and it was this is how long ago it was it was a robocop impression but as i walked off i walked off like robocop and i got a huge laugh but they weren't sure if a couple of the regular characters, like I said, I was just the warmup guy that they threw a bone to. They weren't sure if a couple of the regular characters were staying. So they had to lengthen their storyline and I lost my big laugh line. But that
Starting point is 00:24:36 was a fun part. They were nice to me. They were very nice. Bob Newhart was great because Bob Newhart would come out and do 10 minutes of stand-up before my warm-up started. Or maybe, you know, five minutes after I started and then I would introduce him. So it set them to listen to a stand-up for the whole night. Oh, that helps. That made that whole job much more fun. And a sweetheart of a guy? Tom Poston was a great guy.
Starting point is 00:24:55 Both of them? Wonderful guy. Poston too? Great guy. Poston later worked on Grace Under Fire, actually. That's right. Yeah, he played Dave Thomas' father. And at one point I was standing watching some rehearsal and i mean this close that's five inches behind my head i hear
Starting point is 00:25:12 you know what the problem with abortions are we're not having enough of them it was tom posts he had a gilbert-like sense of humor It was a total, I love him for that. And I remember you had me on Till Death. Yes. As the next door neighbor who has a really big dick. Hot wife and a big dick. Well, we wanted to get it as close to life as possible.
Starting point is 00:25:42 Well, we wanted to get it as close to life as possible. Yeah, where I go, I'm playing tennis with Brad Garrett, and then we go into the locker room, and it's supposed to be that I take my clothes off, and he stares between my legs, just horrified by how big it is. Can you call Brad and get him on the podcast, for God's sake? No, no, I never remember those things. It's like I could be having lunch with Al Jolson, and I'll go,
Starting point is 00:26:18 Oh, he would have been good. After the lunch, on your way home. I should have asked him about the podcast. Tell us about Ed McMahon, who was on the Tom Show. Ed McMahon was, first of all, surprisingly funny. I almost got Johnny Carson on that show. You almost did. We were trying to hire an assistant for Ed McMahon, who was a morning radio host. And it was the first time that Johnny actually considered one of those things.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Because he said it would make kind of sense that he would be hired as Ed's assistant as sidekick. Yeah. And all he would have had to do was sit in the hallway. We didn't have to do anything and we were really close. Oh, that would have been a great gag. But Ed was a wonderful man. I mean, Christmas he got in a golf cart and I think
Starting point is 00:26:59 everybody on the lot got a gift. He just went riding around handing out gifts and of course later went bankrupt. I guess you shouldn't hand gifts out to everybody on the lot got a gift. He just went riding around handing out gifts. And, of course, later went bankrupt. I guess you shouldn't hand gifts out to everybody on the lot. He was an underrated actor, I think, JJ. He's in the one you like. The incident on the subway with Tony Musante and Martin Sheen. Martin Sheen, Brock Peters, Jack Guilford.
Starting point is 00:27:24 Wow. Wow. Yeah. I do remember the movie often. Now I've got to revisit it. But yeah, Ed was a decent actor. And fun with Dick and Jane. He was George Segal's boss. And then I think he popped up in one of those blaxploitation movies
Starting point is 00:27:40 where he was a villain. Like drinking your juice in the hood? One of those movies? Yeah. But around the time of like Shaft and Dolomite and all those. Oh, back then? He did try to take a stab.
Starting point is 00:27:57 He tried to take a stab at being a real actor at one point. Before Carson. When he still had the dark hair, he was trying to act a little bit. I remember him as a game show host and I remember him hosting snap, snap judgment and shows in the early seventies, late sixties. I think he used to claim also that his parents or grandparents or some part of his family invented mayonnaise, that it was really, it was originally called McMayonnaise. Really? And he told the story seriously. I don't know if it was true or not. What kind of guy was he to spend time with? He was delightful. He was delightful. We went out to dinner
Starting point is 00:28:30 at his house one time. He had a party. And he made a big speech about how much better he was now that he was just drinking red wine. And he was great. He was fun. There's very few of them that I've met so far that haven't been, especially successful people. Successful people, if they're not happy, I feel like saying, get a fucking grip. You just hit the lottery.
Starting point is 00:28:53 Right, of course. Now, I witnessed that one incident with you and Tom Arnold. So how was it working with Tom Arnold? It was a very, again, I'll never forget a table reading where he had to get up for a minute, and he called his assistant, whose name I think was Vinny. He said, Vinny, I'm going to the can. Bring my cigar. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Vinny has the worst job in the world. Oh, that's funny. And I think in a weird way it made the rest of the show easier for me because I was like, well, I don't have to bring a cigar to him in a can. But he would conduct meetings. He had one of those vibrating massage chairs, and he would conduct meetings while he was lying in the chair vibrating. It's just the strangest thing in the world.
Starting point is 00:29:40 You're trying to talk to this guy, and it's literally... Hilarious. Tell us about Larroquette,ett too another guy who's a wonderful uh yeah lara kett a terrific comic actor saw not long ago a wonderful comic yeah we love him he uh he was a good guy he was a little darker because he had his uh you know he overcame the aa thing sure Sure. Whatever the correct terminology for that is. My wife cracked up one time because before we all started working on the show, we had to read the big blue book, the Alcoholics Anonymous book, and I was sitting at my dining room table drinking a gigantic glass of vodka and reading through the Alcoholics Anonymous book.
Starting point is 00:30:21 But, yeah, he's still married to the same woman. He's one of those guys. He's had three or four kids. You ever work with him, Gil, John Larroquette? Yes, yes. Terrific comic actor. I did like three episodes of Night Court. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 00:30:34 You did Night Court. That would be – I think he was funnier in Night Court than he was in the John Larroquette show, more because Night Court was just set up for him to be funnier, whereas the john larroquette show had to have a little dark stuff but john larroquette is where i wrote an episode who had a title that i was the proudest of which was called there's a mr hitler here to see you because i thought it pretty much told the whole story of the episode right at that point and it was nazis that wanted to rent the bus from yeah police. Yeah, because on the John Larroquette show,
Starting point is 00:31:05 it was written in that he was an alcoholic. Right. Yeah, that was the premise. Well, yeah, it was always, yeah, that was built in. And I think the original title was Crossroads or whatever. But, yeah, Liz, I'm ashamed to say, Liz Torres was in that show. Liz Torres, also funny. Yeah, very funny.
Starting point is 00:31:24 Yeah. And she was very funny in that show and also one of the delightful people. Jill Mitchell, who later got in a motorcycle accident and now is in a wheelchair, but is in, what is it, NCIS, Louisiana? It's whatever, the New Orleans, CSI New Orleans. What was the Army show? That was my own creation that tanked in about 12 episodes. Do I have this right? It was a little, do I have this right? It was a little Bilko ish.
Starting point is 00:31:46 It was a little bit of, that's what I wanted it. I wanted it to be, cause that's really the only kind of show you can do about the services when there's no wars going on. Right. You can't really do a, any kind of significant show about it.
Starting point is 00:31:56 And, um, and I had a wonderful cast of characters. Um, Dave Higgins was in it. Brian Poussain was in it. Oh, very funny guys.
Starting point is 00:32:04 Funny people. Yeah. Um, but then I had to hire another guy who was more handsome, Dave Higgins was in it Brian Poussain was in it oh bro wonderful bunch of funny people yeah but then I had to hire another guy who was more handsome because they wanted the network wanted that kind of thing
Starting point is 00:32:12 and then it's just a tough premise to keep going I thought it was funny but we got slammed by critics alright so we're gonna stop here
Starting point is 00:32:20 the stories are too good and we've got a lot more to go with JJ we don't want to let him go so we're gonna pick it up next week where we left off. Part two with Gilbert's old pal, J.J. Wall. J.J. Wall.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.