Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #154: "Modern Day Philosophers" with Danny Lobell
Episode Date: March 8, 2018This week: Gilbert does Kierkegaard! Remembering Joe Franklin! Jackie Mason tangles with Rodney Dangerfield! And Pat Cooper weighs in on Marcus Aurelius! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaph...one.fm/adchoices
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Here we go, boys.
One, two, three, four. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with my co-host Frank Santopadre and this is another episode of Gilbert and Frank's Colossal Obsessions.
And we're once again recording at Nutmeg with our engineer Frank Ferdarosa.
And Quincy Jones, if you're out there,
dear God,
come on this podcast.
You enjoyed the Quincy Jones interview?
Oh, yeah. Marlon
Brando fucking Richard
Pryor. I mean,
I'm proud. Did Wally Cox know?
That's all I can say.
I pride myself on all the weird knowing, all the weird sexual habits of the stars, and that one went past me.
Uh-huh.
That's better than Olivier and Danny Kaye.
Yes, yes, because they just shoved their fingers in each other's assholes, which it seems like they should do.
And we're off to a roaring start.
Yeah.
Hello, Danny.
Hey.
How are you?
Good.
Our obsession this week is the podcast of our friend Danny Lobel, who is here.
Yes.
Yes.
A show you have been on.
That's right.
Any memory of being on that show?
I block it from the end.
Trust me.
And especially now, all I can think about is a 700-pound Marlon Brando
as fucking Richard Pryor.
How do you know it wasn't the other way around?
How do you know Brando wasn't the bottom?
Well, I like to think there's that scary moment of Brando
like where Pryor is in terror the whole time.
Danny, you want to weigh in on this?
You think Quincy's losing it?
You know, his wife, Pryor's widow, said, sounds legit, and his daughter, Rain, immediately trashed it.
But look at it this way.
If someone said your father was getting ass-fucked by Marlon Brando,
I think you'd probably have a tendency to deny it without giving it any thought.
What about if it was Marlon Perkins?
Does that make it any better?
Danny, comic, pod podcaster comic book author that is all
those are all things you are a renaissance man and you are here i'm going through the danny
lobel renaissance as we speak you're going through it as we speak i'm having to this is the best part
of the period of my life creatively i've been having such a great time good for you so i've
been doing the podcast,
like you mentioned.
Yes, yes.
It's Comedians Discussing Philosophy.
Yes, tell us the title.
It's called Modern Day Philosophers.
Very good show.
Very smart, funny guy
named Alex Fasella,
who's a comic here in New York.
And he finds a philosopher
to pair up with the comedian
who I'm talking to
and some common thing between them.
And then we have a good conversation
of half interview and half philosophical talks.
I liked every episode except Gilbert's.
Yes.
Well, Gilbert was one of the ones
who was intimidated the most, I think, by the philosophy.
Then he did well with it,
but sometimes the comics, they're afraid to go near it,
but what I tell everybody, and I told
you, and then I edited it out,
is that these are all thoughts you've had anyway.
They're just not written as densely as
the philosophers put them. Yeah, they're not as fancy
when you think of them yourself.
I think when it comes to Danes, he's more
Victor Borgo than Kierkegaard.
What do you think, Gil?
But you held your own.
He kept asking you about your anxieties and Kierkegaard-based philosophies,
and I think you related.
And Kierkegaard used to, like, point out what famous people at the time were Jews.
Did you try to make the case that Kierkegaard was an anti-Semite?
Is that what you were after?
Yeah, some people say that Kierkegaard was actually also a bottom to Richard Pryor.
Or more than Brandon.
You know, I learned on that show from Danny, the creator of Tintin turned out to be.
Anti-Semitic.
Yeah.
Wow.
He was an active anti-semite and he brought
uh i think he brought naziism into belgium he he financed a lot of it no you'll never look at
tintin and then the great thing for me about that is that spielberg made the movie which i feel like
was a win for the jews in the end you know? Yes. Yeah, he was an anti-Semite and that guy Dahl.
Roald Dahl?
Yeah.
Yeah, who did Willy Wonka.
Yeah.
Patricia Neal's husband.
Oh, yeah?
I believe he was married to the actress, Patricia Neal.
Yeah, so I guess Patricia Neal hated the Jews.
I don't know that she did.
So, Dan, tell us about the show. She was pretty in her day guess Patricia Neal hated the Jews. I don't know that she did. So, Dan, tell us about the show.
She was pretty in her day.
Patricia Neal?
Yeah, wasn't she?
Yeah, we'll face on the crowd.
She hated the Jews.
I don't know about that.
Paul, find out if Patricia Neal hated the Jews.
And for that matter, find out if Andy Griffith did because he was in face.
Would that make it a little hotter, Gilbert, if you were with a chick and she hated Jews?
Yes.
Yes.
I heard a story that Kirk Douglas was out with this girl, and she kept making anti-Semitic remarks.
She didn't know that he was.
And then later on, he's having sex with her.
And in the middle of it, Kurt Douglas screamed out, you're fucking a Jew.
A line you've been dying to use.
Yes.
You know, I was at my buddy, Matty Goldberg, great comedian in L.A.
I was at his house, and he's on the east side, and I'm on the west side,
and I took an Uber back not too long ago.
And the guy picks me up.
He tells me he lives in Mexico, but he crosses the border to make –
he's not Mexican, but he went there because it's cheaper.
He crosses the border to San Diego to make some money every day.
And somebody asked him to drive to Beverly Hills.
So that's why he wound up in LA for the day and picked me up.
I go, oh, wow, that's a good fare.
And then he goes, yeah, yeah, but a lot of Jews in Beverly Hills.
I was like, all right, where's this going?
Let me figure it out.
So I go, oh, yeah, yeah, plenty of Jews.
I'm not giving up that I'm Jewish. He goes, they got, yeah. So I go, oh, yeah, yeah, plenty of Jews. I'm not giving up that I'm Jewish.
He goes, they got those funny hats.
I go, oh, sure, very funny hats.
And I just wanted to see where it went.
Oh, boy, it got bad.
And I was terrified.
It was a 40-minute drive from Maddie's place.
By the end, he's telling me, you know, Hitler was a great man.
He was Time Magazine's Man of the Year.
He goes, the Jews spin it now because he's dead to make him look like a bad guy,
but he did everything for Germany.
He gave them everything.
He goes, the Volkswagen, that was the people's wagon, bro.
He said he was going to make it.
He created so many jobs.
People try and spin it like he's a bad guy, but I'm telling you, those Jews, they're evil.
I was like, all right, thanks very much.
I was terrified by the end of the ride.
Yeah, and see, now you've got a chance to rethink it.
Yeah.
Let's talk about the show.
You've had everybody on this show, from Pat Cooper to Reggie Watts.
That's a lot of range.
Yes.
And you've had some of our guests, Phil Rosenthal, Artie Lang, Cliff, our friend Kelly Carlin.
Sure.
When you approach these comics with the premise that you're going to talk about philosophy,
what is the usual reaction?
Well, it's always such a range.
Like, you know, Gilbert was intimidated by it.
I just did one with George Wallace last week, and he also was very intimidated by it.
But then both cases, when they get to the philosophy, these are, like I said, these are all thoughts they've already had,
and they're great.
Comics just sit around philosophizing.
The whole idea of the show is really to get the comedian's philosophies.
Do you believe that philosophy is the words on a cereal box
that was taught to us by what's-her-name?
Who's that?
Paul Simon's wife.
Oh, Edie Burkell?
Yes.
What?
What I am is what I am.
Oh, that song.
Yes, yes.
One of the lines is philosophy is the words on a cereal box.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, it could be.
It depends what kind of cereal, I guess.
If it's life,
then no.
Do you,
when you're pairing people up,
like Pat Cooper
was with Marcus Aurelius,
which I found interesting.
This is my favorite part
of the show.
Pat says,
who's Marcus Aurelius?
Danny says,
he's a philosopher.
And Pat says,
yeah, fuck him.
That was the highlight
of the show for me. What has he done for him, Pat says, yeah, fuck him. That was the highlight of the show for me.
What has he done for me lately?
That's when it got profound.
Pat Cooper is one of those guests that we've had on this show.
We had him right in that corner, Dan.
It's one of those guests where you could go out and see a movie and come back and still be talking.
We could have put two cardboard cutouts on ourselves in the chairs.
It's true.
You'd still be going.
I used to have him on my radio show.
You know, I had the first comedy podcast back in 2004.
It was Comical Radio that we did.
And Pat Cooper was on like 10 or 11 times, I think.
And Mark Maron was on one
time with pat and he still says he remembers that as something like he'd never experienced in show
business any other time just pat just sitting there talking no one else could get a word in
right for like an hour and we're all just like uh-huh yeah and he's just screaming
i said let me see what pat cooper has to say about Marcus Aurelius.
I tuned in, and mostly he ragged on Joan Rivers for 20 minutes.
It was right after Joan Rivers died, and he was telling me.
He gives me a book about, what's the funniest thing?
He made a little comic book called Pat Cooper Knocks Out Joan Rivers.
He made these things, and it's just insults of him insulting Joan Rivers every page.
And then he goes, I sent them to Joan, and she didn't like them,
and my wife had to smooth the whole thing out years ago.
I remember Rodney Dangerfield.
I once heard him say,
Oh, Joan Rivers, she set the Jews back 2,000 years.
What did he mean by that?
Jack Ginsberg.
What did he mean by that, I wonder?
I thought that was fantastic.
He printed up a book of just insulting Joan Rivers and sent hundreds of them to her house and then was surprised that she wouldn't like that
he's unhinged we will return to gilbert godfrey's amazing colossal podcast after this
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And now back to the show.
Do you have a method for combining the philosopher with the comic?
Is it something about the comic's material that lends itself to, oh,
I'll go with... Well, that's Alex Vassella. That's the genius of Alex.
I tell him who I'm going to interview, and he comes up with it. Like, when I did the
Carl Reiner one, he said, well, Carl Reiner's half of the 2,000
year old man. That's 1,000. So he picked a philosopher who had turned
1,000, which was Maimonides. Oh, perfect. So we paired him up with a 1,000 year old man that's a thousand so he picked a philosopher who's who had turned a thousand which was maimonides so we oh perfect we paired him up with a thousand okay so there's a there's a theme
there's a method yeah there's always something different if you can find one how did gilbert
draw kierkegaard i don't remember i said oh this this ought to be good when i do when i tuned in
i kept waiting i said if danny does this this seamlessly, if he gets Gilbert to talk about Kierkegaard, he's a genius.
We got somewhere with it, I think.
It was tough.
I remember that.
I remember you were very hesitant to go near it.
But once we got there, because, you know, I love that documentary that they did on you.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, Neil's film, Bill Berkley.
Yeah.
And I feel like, you know, people now see this other side of Gilbert.
But I feel like there was some hesitation to show the real Gilbert
because I've hung out with you in real life,
and I know the sweet guy that you are,
but, you know, I think you were still, that was pre-you showing.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
There's a 20-minute runner about John Wayne's sodomy on that episode.
Something about John Wayne sodomizing Indians.
These are the notes I took.
You know, I wanted to learn about philosophy.
I think you discussed John Wayne fucking Richard Pryor.
I'm not sure that made it.
I learned the sweet model airplane story about your dad in the hardware store.
Oh, yes.
You told on Danny's show.
Yeah.
Which I did not know.
Yeah.
My father had a hardware store in Coney Island, and he had one little toy model kit of an airplane.
I remember.
Back then, kids were really into sniffing glue.
So they passed a law that you can't buy glue unless you're buying a model with it.
Yeah.
And so he kept this little toy airplane kit, and they'd come in, they'd buy that and glue and then he'd like count to five and we'd go
outside and in the trash in front of the store would be that so he kept reselling that's great
yeah it's great these are some of the some of the other ones i listened to the shecky you had more
luck with shecky than we did.
Oh, boy.
Boy, I could tell you stories about that.
That was fantastic.
So, first of all, he gave me his address in Palm Springs originally.
So, he didn't tell me he was in his place in San Diego.
So, I drove all the way to Palm Springs to do the interview. And I call him up. I'm like, I'm in front of your place. He goes, what are you doing in San Diego. So I drove all the way to Palm Springs to do the interview and I call him up.
I'm like, I'm in front of your place.
He goes, what are you doing in Palm Springs?
You didn't get the update.
There was no update.
So I went the next day to San Diego.
I was like, that's it.
I'm determined.
So I went the next day to San Diego and he was, he was fantastic.
At first he says,
you got to meet me at this strip mall,
and then I'll take you,
and we'll leave your car there,
and then I'll take you in my car into this, you know,
he's in a gated community.
So I get to the strip mall,
and he's dancing in the parking lot
and singing,
Danny Lobel, Danny Lobel,
you want to get an orange juice?
I was like, okay, yeah.
So he goes,
I got the best place for orange juice.
So he takes me to this place where they do fresh squeezed orange juice.
And he's singing the whole time.
The whole time we're talking, he's singing.
Anything on Gilbert?
Do you have anything nice to say?
They were all mostly old timers.
He just kept telling me.
Okay.
There's been some tension there.
Yeah.
Yeah, because one time I was doing a friar's event and he was supposed to
be following me and i went up and and i've heard and then when it's time to introduce him joy
behar was in the audience and they brought her up she was just there as an audience member. And then I found out that while I was on, he was storming out of the place going,
I'm not following this, this filth.
I was in the Navy.
You didn't hear this story?
And we didn't use language like that.
I'm sure they didn't use language like that in the Navy.
Of course, it always makes sense to't use language like that in the Navy. Of course, it
always makes sense to compare every comedic
event to the Navy.
And then he threatened to punch
Freddie Roman if he got to.
He threatened to take a shot at Freddie Roman.
Who's like 106.
Like I'm telling you,
he's on the war path, that guy.
He was going after everybody. Who's angrier,
Shecky or Pat Cooper?
Good question. Or Jackie Mason. you he's on the war path that guy you know he was going after everybody who's angrier shecky or pat cooper good question or jackie mason another another guy you got to jackie mason how did you how did you do this i worked for jackie mason for a long time and we're still for i spoke to him
this week okay we talk all the time okay and uh he's fantastic he He's, you know, most people have this other Jackie Mason.
I know that Jackie too.
I know.
I mean, I've, I've experienced all the variety of Jackie Masons that there are, but if you
combine them all and get the common denominator, he's a great guy.
He, I was, I was publishing a comedy magazine in the early 2000s.
That's when we met.
When we met, when we first met.
a comedy magazine in the early 2000s when we met when we met when we first met and i i got an interview with jackie and we did it at the wellington hotel and uh i recorded the whole
thing on a mini disc and i went to play it back and then it was like skipping the disc was up i'd
be like you know who are your who are your favorite comedians but i you know skipping around so so i
called he gave me his number he said if you
need if you need further clarification about any of these things give me a call so i called him up
i was asking him further clarification for things because it wasn't playing i was i just want further
clarification when it says who your favorite comedian is why the hell would you need further
clarification about a simple thing like that i told you i like lenny bruce and i like this one
and then okay all right.
I was nervous.
I didn't want to ask him all the questions.
So why not hang up?
So I call him the next day.
Hey, I just want further clarification on how you got started.
What the hell kind of, you need further clarification
on how, this is a very cut and dry thing.
I told you how I got started.
So the third time I call him, I go, you know,
I just want further clarification.
He goes, let me ask you a question.
Did you lose the interview? I go, yeah, kind of. It's not, it's not working.
Go, you see, I knew you were a liar right away with the further clarification. He goes, I'm
having spaghetti tonight. You could come down and re-interview me. So I go down and then we hit it
off. And then he's, and then from there he goes, you look like a guy who's not that busy. What are
you doing tomorrow at three o'clock? said uh nothing because that's what i figured
come down to the auburn pan and we'll get coffee and i get the auburn pan and he goes you got to
be there exactly at 4 55 and i get there at 4 55 he goes all right thank god you're here on time
do you know why i told you to be here right now i go why he goes because in five minutes exactly
every pastry in there is going to be on sale for 50 off
oh gilbert he's a man after your own heart exactly every pastry in there is going to be on sale for 50% off.
Oh, Gilbert, he's a man after your own heart.
He goes, but the place is going to be flooded with homeless.
I can't be seen.
I'm an international sensation.
I can't be seen in there begging for homeless people for pastries,
so you need to get in there.
And he goes, here's $2.
Go get us some croissants, you know. So so that was it so then we started hanging out every day and now your bud
and then he'd send me out on dates for him he'd i don't know where he'd get these women from they
there were always something strange women that that that uh he would find and hilarious i got
i got news for you i gotta have lunch with my manager Jill she's not so thrilled with the fact that I'm seeing this particular broad so here's my credit card take her out don't
you dare fall in love with her and I'm gonna make a meeting point with you and then you hand her off
so I take you the beard I take these girls out they expected Jackie to be there he tell me you
know she's a she's a brunette, she's attractive,
she's a shiksa,
you know,
and she's going to be waiting there,
she's going to expect me,
she's going to be disappointed
when a big fat guy
like you shows up
instead of a handsome guy
like me.
You know,
you'd always be ripped.
But I'm sure you could
smooth it out
and here's my credit card.
Don't go crazy.
Take her out,
go see a movie,
get whatever you want to eat
and then we meet here
and you hand her off to me.
That's hilarious.
We had this kind of thing going on.
Your Mason is great.
You guys should do a dueling Jackie Mason.
Yeah, because I remember I was with Darren like Florida, I think,
or L.A. or wherever, and we saw Jackie Mason walking down the street.
So Darren went over to him and said, oh, I'm Gilbert's wife.
And he said, I don't like that Gilbert.
He loused me.
He loused me.
How did he louse you?
How did you louse him?
I have no idea.
What did you do?
Darren, did he explain it to you?
Nope.
Nope.
She's shrugging.
I think it was one time something happened with Jackie Mason in the news,
and Howard Stern was going, oh, we've got Jackie Mason on the phone now,
and I would start answering.
Do that again.
He loves me. I don't like that again. He loves me.
I don't like that Gilbert.
He loves me.
So he wouldn't come over and say hello to you.
The best is we were in Miami once together,
and we're on this strip.
We're sitting having salads,
and every single person who comes by,
Jackie would come over.
They'd come over to Jackie,
be like, hey, Jackie Mason, you know, and he'd go, let me ask you a question.
Are you a homosexual?
Every single person.
Unbelievable.
I understand there's a lot of homosexuals around here.
Are you one of them?
And some of them were.
They'd be like, yeah, yeah.
All right, I got nothing against it.
I just was curious.
I hear there's a lot of homosexuals.
nothing against it i just was curious i hear there's a lot of homosexuals
did he ever talk to you about lord because this is something i wish there was film on and not even their act i just want the two of them in a room talking uh that he was uh
in a comedy team with pat cooper at one oh my. I'm trying to wrap my mind around that.
Can we get them in the room together and see what happens?
They probably will.
No, there's got to be some.
I don't know.
I've been independently friendly with both of them.
I've never heard anything about that.
I'd like to see them square off.
Jackie, when I had the magazine,
he used to do these true comedy stories for me every issue.
And one of the best ones was he told a story about
nearly getting into a fist fight with Rodney Dangerfield at the Carnegie.
Have you ever heard that?
Nope.
I have heard that one.
Yeah.
He said, you know, he was very upset because he was holding out for more money for Caddyshack 2.
And then I took the part. And they loved me.
They loved me for the part.
And I'm sitting there at the Carnegie Deli.
And he walks in.
And he's, hey, I'll tell you.
Look at him.
It's Jackie Mason, the guy who stole my part.
And he's going, I never stole nothing.
They called me up.
And Rodney goes, you're not even a real star.
You're a Jewish kind of star.
Only Jews like you.
What the fuck do you know about who likes me?
And they both, so Jackie describes it that he got up and he got right in Rodney's face.
And Rodney said, I'll punch you right now.
And the waiters of the Carnegie had to pull them apart and ask them to leave.
Don't you love show business?
Oh, yeah.
Here's another another great
person that we had on this show that you interviewed joe the the wonderful joe franklin
oh my god what was that experience did you interview him in his office did you get to go
into that was in the inner sanctum oh god what a scary place oh my god i used to hang out there
with him a lot you know i used to run shows another guy i worked for was he had a comedy
club in the back of memory lane i remember and i ran shows for him and i was to run shows another guy i worked for was he had a comedy club in the back
of memory lane i remember and i ran shows for him and i was on the shows and i and i also booked the
shows and he'd come to a lot of the shows sometimes he'd get up and he had these stock jokes that he
would do yep and uh and he also he always had a million girlfriends he always had all these these
young actresses and he would promise them it was was so fantastic. He'd go, they'd be sitting there,
be like, Joe told me, we're at the table,
right in memory lane, and they'll turn to me like,
Joe's getting me a part in a movie,
and then Joe would be sitting there,
oh, yes, oh, yes, mm-hmm, wonderful, wonderful part.
Wonderful part.
Joe Franklin on the make.
A lot of big producers, a lot of big producers.
Joe Franklin on the make.
A lot of big producers.
I remember a weird, I was at Joe Franklin's office doing something, and he had this guy who was like, you know, had mental problems.
He was like, you know.
Yes, I know who he was.
In the day they used to call retarded yes and he did but he had
these severe mental problems and he used to work with him probably because yeah joe franklin paid
him a nickel a month or something yeah and he comes over mumbled something to us, and then, you know, scampers off.
And Joe Franklin turns to me and goes, there's a good reason for forced sterilization.
Oh, my God.
The beloved Joe Franklin.
You are slaying sacred cows.
Oh, my God.
What did you talk to Joe about?
Do you remember who the philosopher was?
No.
With Jackie Mason, it was Martin Luther,
which had to be interesting.
The best thing about that Jackie Mason episode
is because we have this long history,
and we always get into these things.
So I told told him let's
do the interview at your at your apartment he goes fine meet me at the apartment so i get there
and he's like he must have been in the apartment for too many hours and he was antsy and he wanted
to get out and he's like let's go and do this at a at a diner we always hang out at a diner people
would like to know what it's like to really hang out with us you know he's trying to build it up
like this just to get me out and i know it's going to be terrible audio.
So I said, let's just do it here.
It's quiet.
No, people like ambient noise.
People love ambient noise.
So I go, nobody likes ambient noise.
What's more interesting to you?
An interview where you have no idea where the hell they did it
or something where you get the feeling of New York and the hustle bus?
I go, all right, there's no way he's going to do it here.
So I said, fine, we have to find a quiet place.
So we're walking around Midtown where he lives.
We go into one place.
It's way too loud.
He goes, how about this?
I go, we can't record here.
I go, all right, fine.
So I pick a place.
How about this?
He goes, I don't like this place.
I had a fight with the owner.
All right, fine.
How about this place?
He goes, I know the perfect place.
So we're walking like crazy.
This is taking way too long.
We're an hour.
We're going from place to place.
And he goes, I got the perfect place.
So he takes us there and it closed down.
He goes, I don't know.
It was open yesterday.
It was clearly closed for a long time.
So it starts raining, you know, and now we're like running in between umbrellas, you know,
with my recording equipment.
And he goes, all right, we'll get a cab.
So we get a cab and he takes us to this diner on the other side of town and it is empty it's a good place to record and we start recording
the interview and the more we record the more the diner fills up and it gets louder and louder but
jackie's got pride and he doesn't want to admit that this was a bad idea to record in this diner
so he keeps getting louder to prove that there's no reason to be upset. So the louder the diner gets, the louder Jackie gets.
And the more he gets, he lost his voice.
So by the time we got to Martin Luther, he was so hoarse.
He's like, I can't do much more of this.
We got to end it.
Unbelievable.
Oh, God.
And obviously you were also a friend and a fan of the great Shelley Berman.
Yes.
You did one of your episodes was a Shelley Berman tribute.
Yes, Shelley Berman.
Well, he was on the podcast, and this was an interesting thing that happened.
I went with my wife, who was in the process of converting to Judaism, and his wife converted to Judaism.
And after the interview, he invited us to, he had a knife collection.
Shelly Berman had a knife collection.
Yes, he had a huge knife collection by all these like famous knife makers.
And he went to knife conventions every year.
And most of his friends were knife makers.
Sheesh.
And yeah, and he had all these display cases all over the house of all these knives, which were like his treasures.
You know, they don't mean much to me because I don't know much about knives. But he was house of all these knives which were like his treasures uh you know
they don't mean much to me because i don't know much about knives but he was so thrilled with
these knives so he wanted to show them off so he's showing off the knives and my wife was there and
she's talking to his wife and in the process our wives like hit it off big and he and i did pretty
well too and they said well you know let's stay. And we were new to LA and we had no friends, no couple friends anyway. So we became couple friends with the Bermans.
That's nice.
And we started doing lunches together and he came over my house for Rosh Hashanah and he was at the
table and he's biting into pomegranates at the table. He goes, telling everyone, you don't need
to peel a pomegranate, you bite into it. And we just became really, really close. And his daughter started coming over and his grandkids started coming.
All of a sudden, we got absorbed into the Berman family.
And then when my wife and I got married, Shelly Berman walked me out to the dance floor.
Oh, that's so cool.
It was wonderful.
And he was dancing.
And Sarah, his now widow, was dancing with Kylie, and he was dancing with me.
And he was like the life of the party at my wedding.
He was jumping around with his cane and doing all kinds of party tricks.
He was fantastic.
Nice story.
We're going to have him here, but we heard he was in poor health.
He developed dementia, and it went very fast.
But even with dementia, he was fun to hang out with because he became very sweet with the dementia.
You know, he used to have, like, this grumbliness to him.
Yeah, yeah.
But that went away.
Well, he had some challenges in his career.
Yeah, he did.
It's funny.
I mean, I've met him a handful of times.
And also, very nice to me.
Yeah.
Nothing but good things to say about him.
But I heard he was another one who made loads of enemies he had a prickly side to
him i never experienced it personally but you know he lost his son when his son was like 13
right before his bar mitzvah oh yeah he had a brain tumor i think and he died and i and he
never recovered from that but you know he would if you got to know shelly he was like a brilliant poet
he wrote poetry he was he was a very sweet guy very smart real artist and uh real really a nice
guy and i i heard an interview where shelly berman said he was working i don't know vegas or wherever
and his son was back at the hotel room and and he spoke to his son on the phone,
and he said he remembered his son sounded like he was drunk.
You know, he was slurring his words, and that was the first sign.
I'm glad you got to know him when he was sharp
and when he was the real Shelly Berman.
And then I got to know the not-sharp Shelly Berman, and he was great too he was he was like a playful child when he had the dementia
he was just so sweet and full of happiness like yeah you know some people with dementia get angry
and and they want everyone get away from me and stuff but shelly was like he was he was just the
happiest most blissful guy with the dementia. And his wife is amazing, Sarah.
They did like a Hanukkah slash Christmas party.
It was like a Hanukkah party for Jews on Christmas Eve every night, every year.
So we went to that for a few years.
And towards the end, they still did it when Shelly had the dementia.
Oh, that's nice.
And he was just fun.
He was so happy.
He didn't know who everyone was, but he was just so happy to be surrounded by everyone.
Well, Gilbert's like that now.
He's retained his sweetness.
Yes.
I'm sorry we never got him on this show.
I really am.
Tell us about this comic book, Dan, called Fair Enough, as we wind down.
Yeah, Fair Enough.
This is my big thing that I've been hoping to do forever, and I'm finally doing it.
And it's the stories from my life as a comedian.
Future ones are like crazy road stories.
I have a good anti-Semitic road story for you.
Okay.
Go right ahead.
My friend Maddie, who I mentioned earlier, and I,
we went to play this place called Billy Bologna's in Danbury, Connecticut,
about 10 years ago.
If you've ever been to Danbury, Connecticut about 10 years ago. And it was, uh, if you ever been to Danbury,
Connecticut, it's, uh, it's not like the rest of Connecticut. It's, it's like going to a white
nationalist, uh, convention. So we get there, it's all these skinheads and the guy comes back,
uh, who, who runs Billy Bologna, Mr. Bologna, he comes up to us and he's like, all right,
listen, this is Danbury. He goes, you know, anything flies here. We like, you know, I'm not even going to say the words on this show
and get myself in trouble because we like, you know, N word jokes. And we like, we love it. You,
if you were dying to say it, say it here. We love it, you know, and go after everybody. And, you
know, the, every ethnic slur you can imagine, he, he throws it out. He goes, I want to hear all that
stuff, guys.
And then we look at each other like, what the hell did we get into?
So Maddie, I can pass for Italian or other things,
but Maddie looks very distinctly Jewish.
So he goes out first.
And everybody starts screaming.
The whole audience are screaming anti-Semitic slurs at him. You know, they couldn't get a joke out.
Unbelievable. isometric slurs at him you know he couldn't get a joke out unbelievable so he gets off real fast i get out there i do my time as quickly as possible and then afterwards we go to get paid
we're like let's get paid and get the hell out of here before they kill us and uh and they said we
have a birthday party first so as soon as we do the birthday sing happy birthday we'll pay you
and they come out with a ho-ho with a candle in it and they all go around to this woman
whose whose head is concaved in and they sing happy birthday and maddie happens to go up and
ask her like i don't know how he brought it up about her head and and she says her boyfriend
um accidentally shot her in the head and blew off a piece of her skull.
And he goes, well, you know, it's good that you're not with him anymore.
And she goes, no, that's him.
Oh, jeez.
Oh, jeez.
Will we find that story in the comic book?
That will be in a later comic book.
In a later issue.
Also, Maddie wrote his version of that story in his book, which you can pick up.
The comic is called Fair Enough.
Yeah, and Matty's book is called No IQ.
I'll give it a plug, too.
Okay, and this is based on your life.
And the show is Modern Day Philosophers, which we're going to tell our listeners to check out.
People like Bill Burr, Mark Maron, Fred Armisen you had on there, and, of course, all of these great classic people.
Oh, and did you guys have Professor Irwin Corey on?
We did and we didn't.
Hell, yeah.
He was, for the longest time, that mystery guest that we never mentioned.
He was the first guest on the show, but we never used the content.
He was over 100 at the time time and we went to his apartment
yeah i went there interviewed him and then afterwards we went around the block and we're
having a slice of pizza after we left his apartment and i was i remember saying to frank well
we tried this podcast thing,
and that's all you could do.
We gave it a shot.
Now let's forget the whole podcast.
But he almost destroyed the whole thing.
But he was very sweet, and he was very willing,
and we were grateful to him.
I caught him, I guess, on a good day.
I got him when he was 102, and we did a Modern Day Philosophers,
and his philosopher was Gandhi
and he hated Gandhi.
Whom he knew.
I thought that was,
yeah,
he absolutely hated Gandhi.
But yeah,
this is Fair Enough the Comic.
The website is
fairenoughcomic.com
and the first one is about
my friendship with Harvey Pekar
and how he kind of
pushed me into show business.
Yes,
it's fascinating.
It's a great chutzpah story.
Yeah.
And check out the podcast.
You can start with Gilbert's episode.
You'll learn who was anti-Semitic.
Henry Ford and Lindbergh, you guys also threw in to that episode.
Where can people find it?
It's on iTunes.
Just type in Modern Day Philosophers or you can go to
the website
moderndayphilosophers.net
and in the same breath
if I can just plug
my new album
I have a new
stand-up record out
from Stand Up Records
the great Dan Schlissel
of Stand Up Records
put it out
and it's called
Danny Lobel
the nicest boy
in Barcelona
and it's an hour of
stand-up I did
in Barcelona
you are the hardest working man in show business.
I have to be.
Nobody notices.
Otherwise, no one notices.
Well, uh...
Why don't you take us out as Jackie?
Yes.
Yes, please.
As a tribute.
Before I do, Quincy Jones, dear God, please call.
I think we asked him.
I think that was a non-starter.
We'll try again.
Well, this has been Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions.
And we've had Daniel LaBelle on with his comic books.
His comic books, his radio show.
on his comic books.
His comic books,
his radio show,
all of a sudden he's a big shot.
He's a regular.
He's like some Steven Spielberg
because he's got
his little comic book
and a radio show.
That's exactly what he'd say.
That's exactly what he'd say. It's exactly what he'd say.
What the hell do you think you are going on the show and talking about me?
You think you're some big star now?
Thank you, Danny.
Guys, I got to say what an honor it is to have been here.
And I've spent many hours of my commutes listening to the podcast.
Go on, you flatter us.
And you're both phenomenal.
And I love the show. Thanks for having me. Thank you, buddy. Your show is wonderful, too. Modern day philosophers, you flatter us. And you're both phenomenal. And I love the show.
Thanks for having me.
Thank you, buddy.
Your show is wonderful, too.
Modern day philosophers, people.
Listen.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Colossal Obsessions.