Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #176: Six Degrees of Gilbert Gottfried
Episode Date: August 9, 2018Sidney Poitier! "The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle"! Kevin Bacon steals Steve Martin's cab! Johnny Carson turns down Martin Scorsese! And Lon Chaney Jr. meets the Monkees! Learn more about your ad ...choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hi. Yes. Hello. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried and I'm here with my co-host Frank Santopadre. That's me.
And I think we might still be at Nutmeg.
Are we still at Nutmeg?
Yeah, I don't know.
You're drilling.
I don't know.
The reality is, by the time this airs the the place we will we are sitting in
now will be nothing but a cement floor right an open space you really want people to know that
well it'll be done by then yeah right this is four weeks out from when we're recording it yep
uh but there's a very good chance we will be in a new place that is the plan but we don't know but
we'll we'll provide details as they come.
We sure will.
We can talk about it on the next episode.
And once again, our engineer, who recently was found with his head in the oven,
and his apartment is in his Jersey apartment.
He's got a home.
He's got a beautiful home.
He doesn't have an apartment.
My head was in the oven, but I was heating up pizza.
Don't get confused.
He killed
himself while heating up
a pizza. He likes to get a good look at it
as it bubbles. Couldn't quite tell
if the middle was done.
And he died.
Frank Verterosa. With his face buried
in like a
saint... What's the name of one of those famous... Frank Verterosa. With his face buried in like a St.
What's the name of one of those famous? What, the Celentano pizzas?
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was buried there in a pepperoni.
Elio's.
Elio's.
Which makes this a very sad episode, actually.
And.
We lost Frank.
I think Frank's taking it very well.
That, of course, is the voice of blues singer, old black, origami-less, Raybone.
What?
He doesn't.
He was captured by the Japanese in World War II.
And he was tortured, so he refuses to learn origami.
Suddenly you're a black blues man and you're in Bridge on the River quite.
I was tortured.
Do you ever mind?
Your comments about Japan led you last time.
That's right, Gilbert.
Can you please play the Colonel So-and-so Waltz?
Colonel Boogie Waltz.
Yeah, the Japanese actually destroyed my origami.
It was in their hands.
It was actually a Japanese torture tactic
where they would unfold your origami in front of you
after you labored over it so hard.
Gilbert has turned into a surrealist in recent weeks.
You started out as earless, armless, legless, boneless.
His kids call him Dada.
Very good.
Suddenly he's origami-less.
What was the last one?
Fly paper-less.
That doesn't make any sense.
It does raise a question. Can you make origami
out of fly paper?
It's interesting. We should invite our listeners.
You stick with it.
That's like a joke Gilbert invite our listeners. You stick with it. It's fascinating.
That's like a joke Gilbert would tweet and apologize for.
Yeah.
I apologize to flies.
Yes.
We should invite our listeners.
But that fly joke I'm leaving open.
Very good.
We should invite our listeners
to post what Paul is missing.
Yeah.
I wish somebody would make a list.
Because now we're up to... Aside from talent and intelligence.
That's too obvious.
Poor Paul.
I just come in and collect my paycheck.
That's it.
What's a paycheck? What's a paycheck?
That was the ghost of Frank.
Frank Verarosa.
The pizza store is delicious.
Proud hanging.
In the homeless shelter in Jersey.
He's got a home.
He just doesn't have an office at the moment.
Let's see.
More on that later.
About the home.
More on that later.
This is something that I found.
I thought this would be a fun
idea for an episode. And we don't talk about
the Listener Society enough on
this show. We do a lot of Twitter.
But this is
from our friends Eric Fusco and Rob Smentek society enough on this show. We do a lot of Twitter. But this is from
our friends
Eric Fusco and Rob Smentek
and Peter Santamaria run the
wonderful Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal
Listener Society.
I don't mind giving them a plug and thanking them.
And we'll have them in here for many
episodes in the fall. We've been promising to do that
for a long time.
We'll have them somewhere else. We don't want them messing up the place in the fall. We've been promising to do that for a long time. What happens if we do? Well, Nutmeg will be gone by then. Yeah, we'll have them somewhere
else. We don't want them, you know, messing
up the place in the fall. We'll have them
out on the street. Yeah, we'll be
recording. We'll have a little mini tape recording.
We're going to record these live in Bryant Park.
That's fine.
That's fine. But this was a post by
a listener named David Phillips, and he
said, how many ways
can we link gilbert to kevin bacon
in six degrees oh it's easy it's easy i have two direct okay let's hear it because they might be
here both of them are in diner i i worked with uh paul reiser both in Beverly Hills Cop 2 and also The Aristocrats.
Paul Reiser was in Diner with Kevin Bacon.
That's one.
I worked on a movie called Bad Medicine.
Yes, Tony Sandoval.
Yes, with Steve Guttenberg.
Steve Guttenberg was in Diner with Kevin Bacon.
Now, was that considered one degree?
Do you understand this game, Paul?
Would that be one degree?
I have two.
You, Guttenberg, and then Bacon.
I have two.
Yeah, I have two ones.
That's right, because you and Guttenberg would be one degree.
Yeah, that's two degrees.
You and Guttenberg.
That's two degrees.
Yeah, two separate.
Right.
That's two degrees. That's two degrees? Yeah, two separate. Right. Yeah. That's two degrees.
That's two degrees?
Yeah, because if you were in a movie with Kevin Bacon.
Oh, that would be one degree.
That's one.
Okay, so two separate two degrees.
Very good.
And you've thought about this.
And he sat also in the very chair you're in, in that booth to record as well.
Kevin Bacon did?
Kevin Bacon did.
Okay, so we're sharing.
Which by the time this airs will be a pile of dust
in my mouth.
You're taking it so well,
Frank. Wow, he is handling it well.
A listener named Dan
Rowena Gilbert was right on that one.
Gilbert was in Bad Medicine with Steve
Gutenberg who was in Diner with Kevin Bacon.
That's right. He got that. I don't think
anybody got the Paul Reiser one,
but a lot of people posted variations connecting you to Kevin Bacon.
And this is the kind of thing that I read in bed at 2 o'clock in the morning
while my wife is asleep.
This is a good one.
This is from David Phillips who posted it.
Problem child with John Ritter.
John Ritter was in Sling Blade with J.T. Walsh.
J.T. Walsh was in The Big Picture with Kevin Bacon.
Oh, okay.
So there's a good one.
Okay, that is a good one.
Yeah.
It's a much more roundabout way than Gilbert.
It's a roundabout way.
And then they get more and more interesting and more roundabout as they go.
Henry Eisenberg.
Gilbert was in Ford Fairlane with Robert England
yes
you know that actor right
everybody knows
Freddy Krueger
England was in
Elm's Nightmare
on Elm Street
with Johnny Depp
Johnny Depp was in
Sleepy Hollow
with Christopher Walken
Walken was in
Joe Dirt
with Fred Ward
and Fred Ward
was in Tremors
with Bacon
and this is going
so far away
yeah it's fun though yeah yeah I just recently going so far away.
Yeah.
It's fun, though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just recently,
I ran into Robin England again.
Did you ask him
to do the show?
Well, of course not.
No, of course not.
What?
Dara sent me
a lot of interesting
Instagram photos
of you with celebrities
I didn't even know you knew. I'm on Dara's Instagram a lot of interesting Instagram photos of you with celebrities. I didn't even know you knew.
I'm on Dara's Instagram.
Who the hell is this picture of Gilbert with Steve Carell?
There's another picture of him with Jim Carrey.
They're all hugging.
There's a picture of him with Chris Rock and Amy Schumer.
Did he ask any of them to do the show?
No.
I don't love them.
You miserable wretch.
I'm there with Douglas Fairbanks.
Faye Bainter.
Marie Dressler.
Neville Brand.
Here's a good one.
This is from Heather Harkins.
Gilbert was in Beverly Hills Cop 2 with Dean Stockwell.
Yes.
Who was in Psych Out with Jack Nicholson.
Who was in A Few Good Men with Bacon.
There's another one. Oh,
okay. And people just did dozens of these.
Here's a great one. Scottzilla says
Gilbert and Kevin stood in the same shopping
bag in a restroom stall with Perfecto
Tellez.
So that's
a direct degree. That's a direct one.
I looked that up on Snopes
and it says mixture.
There are some good ones here.
I want to read them.
Bill Knowles.
Gilbert was in Aladdin with Robin Williams.
Robin Williams was in Good Will Hunting with Matt Damon.
Matt Damon was in Oceans 11 with Julia Roberts.
And Julia Roberts was in Flatliners with Kevin Bacon.
Okay.
Can we... Can we... roberts and julia roberts was in flatliners with kevin bacon okay can we can we oh i just watched
uh the remake of flatliners on tv and it was like the whole movie was like uh all of them
experienced they realized they did something bad and if you apologize for doing something bad it's
okay i've never seen flat yeah I've always been curious about it.
Now, how about connecting me with some, like, old movie star?
Funny you should ask.
Yes.
Gilbert?
Yes.
And let's see if I could get it.
Really?
It would take you a while.
Let me get through a couple of these quick, and then I'll do that.
And I want to apologize to Bill Knowles, because he has your Paul Reiser one right here.
Oh, okay.
Beverly Hills cop, Paul Knowles.
But let me read a couple of these and then we'll do a couple of older actors.
But I want to take into account the work and the effort people put into these.
Michael Caine, K-A-N-E.
Gilbert was in Look Who's Talking To with Abe Vigoda.
Abe Vigoda was in Joe vs. the Volcano with Tom Hanks.
Tom Hanks was in
Volunteers with John Candy.
John Candy is in
Plane Trains and Automobiles
with Kevin Bacon.
He stole Steve Martin's cab
and set the whole story in motion.
There you go.
I didn't even know that.
Yeah, I didn't know that either.
I didn't know that either.
That's pretty good.
Gilbert and Judge Reinhardt. Judge Reinhold. He has't know that either. That's pretty good. Gilbert and Judge
Reinhardt.
Judge Reinhold.
Yes.
He has Reinhardt.
I know better.
Michael Tellman.
Well, that's when he was
with the Third Reich.
Yes.
Judge Reinholdt
in Beverly Hills Cop 2.
Reinholdt and Sean Penn
are in Fast Times
at Ridgemont High
and Penn is in
Mystic River
with Bacon.
So there's three.
Is that three or four?
There's a bunch of these.
Bear Toffoli says Gilbert does
John MacGyver, who was in
Once Upon a Horse with
Rowan and Martin, who were on TV with Goldie Hawn,
who starred with Kurt Russell in Overboard,
who was in Tango and Cash with Sly Stallone
who was in Cliffhanger,
with John Lithgow,
who was in Footloose with Kevin Bacon.
Who did that one?
Bear Toffoli, B-E-A-R.
Can we send some medical help to... And people even tried to go through the podcast.
Former guest Clint Howard was in Apollo 13
with Kevin and Bacon, One Step,
but I don't think the podcast counts.
So you asked me about doing...
Yeah, pick some like old movie star and I'll try to guess.
You mean someone like Lon Chaney Jr.?
Lon Chaney Jr.
Okay.
I was on Think of the Night with Vincent Price.
Yeah, I don't think TV counts.
Oh, it doesn't count?
No, it's got to be feature films. Got to be feature? Oh, I didn't know that. It's the rules of the night with Vincent Price. Yeah, I don't think TV counts. Oh, it doesn't count? No, it's got to be feature films.
Got to be feature?
Oh, I didn't know that.
Them's the rules of the game.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Got to be feature films.
Yeah.
You can make this work.
You're impressive.
Yes, yes, yes.
Okay, Lon Chaney Jr.
Oh, let's see.
Oh, he's in High Noon.
He's in High Noon, yeah.
Okay, I've never worked with any of the Bridges boys.
Well, you did insult Jeff Bridges backstage at the Tonight Show.
Yes, yes, yes.
We're not going to count that either.
Well, I insulted...
Oh, stop it!
This isn't 60 Minutes.
Okay,
so we can't include
the Vincent Price on TV?
No.
If you want to do it, go ahead, but...
Yeah, fuck it, I'll do it.
And then he was in the Haunted Palace
with Lon Chaney Jr.
Okay, but if you want to count TV,
I actually broke you down to Lon Chaney Jr. using features only. Okay, but if you want to count TV, I actually broke you down to Lon Chaney Jr.
using features only.
Okay, but let's see.
Features only?
Yeah.
This will take some doing.
Yeah, okay.
But I got it down to four steps.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Enticing, eh?
Oh, very excellent.
This kind of research
is Paul Rayburn's worst nightmare,
by the way.
Excellent.
This took hours.
Okay, let's hear it.
On IMDb.
Lon Chaney Jr. is in The Defiant Ones.
Oh.
Did you know that?
Oh, no.
With Tony Curtis and Sidney Poitier?
Oh, yeah, of course.
He's Big Sam.
He's Big Sam.
He's Big Sam.
Nice.
With Sidney Poitier.
And you know something?
If we ever get Sidney Poitier, I could ask him about Lon Chaney Jr.
Yeah, I know.
He plays Big Sam.
There you go.
And he's the one who helps them escape.
That's right.
Yeah.
Lon Chaney Jr. is in The Defiant Ones with Sidney Poitier.
Because I started to say no.
And then I jumped.
I said, no, he was Big Sam.
What the fuck is the matter with him? So you know
every Lon Chaney Jr. performance. Absolutely.
Okay, he's in... Absolutely.
Poitier is in a movie called
Sneakers, a heist movie
with Robert Redford. You know this movie?
No. And Ben Kingsley.
Okay, and I was in Schindler's
List. Yes, you were in Schindler's List.
I played third Jew
to the left.
Yes, you were in Schindler's List. I played third Jew to the left.
That's not it.
You don't know the movie Sneakers with Dan Aykroyd and Robert Redford,
Phil Alden Robinson movie.
Good heist movie.
Okay, quickly.
Poitier from The Defiant Ones with Lon Chaney Jr. is in Sneakers with Ben Kingsley.
Ben Kingsley is in Schindler's List.
Yes.
You're not.
But Liam Neeson is.
And?
Liam Neeson.
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, fuck.
He's in.
A Million Ways to Die in the West.
Oh.
Oh, my God!
Oh, that one's great!
Four steps to Lon Chaney Jr.
So, Lon Chaney Jr. and the Defying Ones with Sidney Poitier.
I'm sure there's another way, but that's the one I found.
Sidney Poitier is in...
Sneakers.
Sneakers with Ben Kingsley, who was in in Chandler's List with Liam Neeson.
And you.
Liam Neeson.
There you go.
Of course.
Now, if only.
Couldn't be simpler.
If only I was the kind of person that had the time and the inclination to connect you to Danny Thomas.
Oh, I'm sure there must be a pretty direct one there.
Maybe.
It doesn't involve a table.
I think we had the same proctologist.
Does that count?
We both dealt with the same salesman at Ethan Allen.
I've dealt with the same salesman at Ethan Allen.
I'm not counting that.
We both bought Windex at the same supermarket.
Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
I'm never going to get through this.
You know, I'm going to give you the challenge.
We won't do it here because time doesn't permit.
But I'll give you the... And you can't cheat.
You have to get Lon Chaney Jr. to you, not using the path I used.
Yes.
But it's your favorite actor, so I had to do that one.
Yes, yes.
But maybe you can do it because you know every film you've been in.
Yes.
And you know every film he's been in.
Yes.
So maybe you can put it together.
Oh, yeah.
And bring it back on a future show.
That's your homework assignment.
Let's talk about Danny Thomas.
Anything in particular?
I did not connect you.
I did not connect you to George Maharis, but somebody else did.
Can you use a table to connect people?
Well, Danny Thomas did not exactly have a big feature career.
No.
He's in a jazz singer remake.
That's right.
I didn't use that one.
I found a movie from 1964 called Looking for Love.
Which was sponsored byuffman Coos.
Fine people.
Oh, no one's going to get these references.
Danny Thomas was in a movie called Looking for Love in 1964.
What's the plot of that movie?
I don't have the plot handy.
Paul, maybe Ray Bone can look it up.
Looking for Love, 1964.
But the plot is less important.
Or the plop was more important.
The plop.
In that movie is George Hamilton.
Oh.
George Hamilton is in Godfather 3,
Gilbert.
With Diane Keaton.
Oh my goodness.
Diane Keaton
is in Annie Hall.
She sure is.
She won the Oscar for it.
With Christopher Walken.
Oh.
Who plays her brother Dwayne.
Yes.
Christopher Walken
is in Pulp Fiction.
With John Travolta.
Ah.
And John Travolta is in Ohp Fiction with John Travolta. Ah. And John Travolta is in...
Oh,
look who's talking too.
With who?
Gilbert Gottfried.
That, my friend,
is six steps.
But it counts.
Yeah.
I got it in under the wire.
You, Danny Thomas,
George Hamilton,
Diane Keaton,
Christopher Walken, John Travolta, and you.
So how many is that?
One, two, three.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
That's six.
You are six degrees from Danny Thomas.
See, now if we can include this podcast.
Well, the podcast, yeah.
Yeah. It might be too easy.
You sort of have to play by the rules of the game.
Oh, yeah, because if we included the podcast, Lon Chaney Jr. was in a Monkees episode.
There you go.
Right.
So you go right to Dolan's.
Yeah.
Right, to you.
Or Nesmith.
Right.
That's right.
Or Nesmith.
Yeah.
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Okay.
What did we find, Paul? Looking for love. A singer, Connie Francis,
sees the man Jim Hutton she wants.
Jim Hutton, the late Jim Hutton. The man she wants, but winds up swapping boyfriends with her
roommate Susan Oliver.
Johnny Carson plays himself.
Oh, Johnny Carson is in that.
Oh, good.
Yeah, I didn't use him because he didn't really have a feature career.
No, Joby Baker, Susan Oliver.
Joby Baker from Bill Persky's Good Morning World.
Jesse White, Barbara Nichols.
Yeah, I could have used Jesse White.
And Johnny Carson, though, was offered King of Comedy.
He was.
Yep, he turned it down.
That would have been interesting.
Okay, I got two more for you.
This is Gilbert Gottfried connected to Cesar Romero.
We can see that one coming.
See that one coming?
See that one coming.
Am I that predictable?
Aren't I at this point?
Well, I acted with that woman, Tropic Anna, who's on the cover.
Oh, did you?
Yes.
I didn't realize that.
I learned so much on this show.
This one's an easy one.
Five steps.
You care to take a whack at it?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay. I take a whack at it? Yeah, yeah. Okay.
I take a whack at it every night.
Okay.
You want to go?
You want to try it?
Yes, yes, yes.
Okay, go ahead.
Of which?
Cesar Romero.
Cesar Romero.
Oh.
How are you going to do this without IMDb in front of you?
Oh, God, yeah, yeah.
I usually like...
The way Paul does.
See, now, Cesar Romero.
Let's see what movies he was in, actually.
Well, I'll give you a hint.
I'll start you off.
He's in the Batman movie
from 1966.
Okay, yeah.
The quickie feature
that they made.
Okay.
So who else is in that?
Okay, well, Frank Ocean.
Yes.
Not a man with a big
feature career, either.
Burgess Meredith.
Oh, you're warm.
You're warm. Let's see if we can
piece this one together. Oh, wait a second!
Yes? Wait a second!
Burgess
Meredith, who was
in Rocky, with Sylvester
Stallone, who
was in Animal Crackers with
me. There you go! Yes!
I also... Go ahead.
Did Animal Crackers come out uh no i saw them on on my
twitter account saying can anyone mention that you'd like it to be is that the one ian mckellen's
in uh yeah all those people we recorded in this booth gilbert wallace sean i told you that danny
devito danny devito was here fact, you guys had an encounter that day.
How'd that go?
We had an episode one of those nights where they were taking so long,
Dara had to come in and raise hell.
Like, we have a guest coming in.
Get out.
Yes, yes.
And I'm like, everyone's in that movie.
How is it not released with all those stars?
I'll tell you why.
My understanding is it's an independently produced and done film.
Right.
In fact, I just worked with the director recently on another project.
So when you got the world of Pixar and you've got, you know, DreamWorks and all these feature companies,
how do you deliver a movie like this to get the stage that they've got for their movies?
I think it's just a really hard thing.
But he's doing it on his own, is my understanding. I think it's just a really hard thing,
but he's doing it on his own,
is my understanding.
I could be totally wrong.
Is it animated?
It's animated. It's animated.
It's really well done,
and it's got a sweet story and an all-star,
I mean, an all-star cast.
And Gilbert plays Mario Zucchini.
Yes, yes.
That's what we established
when we were talking to Doug Benson.
Yeah, we worked a lot on that,
and I've heard nothing.
Yeah.
All right, so how did you get Cesar
Romero to you again? You did
Cesar Romero and Batman with Burgess
Meredith was in Rocky.
Burgess, Rocky and yeah.
Well, Sylvester Stallone. Yeah.
I would have also accepted the Sylvester Stallone
in Copland with Robert De Niro
and with you in The Comedian.
Oh, uh,
oh my god. Yeah.
How about that?
That's four steps.
You bested me because I did it in five.
Here's what I got.
Cesar Romero
in the Batman movie.
Yeah.
With Burgess Meredith.
That's the easiest way out
of that.
Although Adam West
was in features.
Burgess Meredith
and a former podcast guest,
Chevy Chase.
Ooh.
In Foul Play.
Oh, okay.
And then I just had to get you to Chevy. Yeah. So I went to Caddyshack, Chevy Chase, in Foul Play. Oh, okay. And then I just had
to get you to Chevy.
Yeah.
So I went to Caddyshack,
Chevy and Rodney
in Caddyshack,
and Rodney and you in...
Yeah, in two movies.
In Wally Sparks.
Meet Wally Sparks
and Back by Midnight.
There you go.
Paul,
what do you have to say
about this?
Impressive.
Very impressive.
Well, you know,
there's so many ways in.
There's so many ways to do it.
And finally, Gilbert, this will make you most excited of all.
Okay.
I connected you to Scarlett Johansson.
Oh!
Oh!
Yes!
Oh, yeah!
Now we're talking.
You want to take a whack at it yourself?
I'm going to take a whack at it right now.
Forgive my choice of words.
Scarlett Johansson.
Not the Scarlett Johansson robot.
I'm going to need actual Scarlett Johansson.
Well, I never worked with Natalie Portman, who I'd like to take a whack at.
Natalie Hirschlog?
Hirschlog.
Yeah, nice Jewish girl.
Wait, wait, she didn't work with Natalie.
I don't think so.
No, I'm confusing her with Mila Kunis.
She worked with her in your fantasies.
And those are like the podcast.
Those don't count either.
Was Mila Kunis also in one of those?
I'm thinking because both Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson are both in the hot Jew piece of ass category.
Wait a minute, Scarlett Johansson's Jewish?
Yes.
This whole episode just got me too'd, by the way. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Fine. Scar johansson's jewish yes this whole episode just got me too by the way
yes yeah okay fine scarlett johansson jew okay i believe you i knew natalie herschlag
yeah well with herschlag what else are you gonna okay here we go well i'm scarlett johansson
natalie portman's like a lot kosher yeah what if i gave you some Scarlett Johansson movies? Would that help? Yes. What if I said she's in We Bought a Zoo?
Oh, Matt Damon.
Yes.
Oh, wait.
Wait.
I'm so excited.
His son in it is Colin Ford, who was in Jack and the Beanstalk with me.
Who's Colin Ford?
Isn't that his son in the movie?
In? In?
In, I bought a zoo.
We bought a zoo?
We bought a zoo.
I don't know.
I'm pretty sure.
See if Paul's done with the crossword and maybe he can look it up.
You want to look up Colin Ford?
Well, can I give you one I got on my screen here?
Yeah.
Scarlett Johansson.
Scarlett's mother, Melanie Sloan, a producer, comes from an Ashkenazi Jewish family from Poland.
See?
See?
I thought with Johansson, she's Swedish or Finnish.
I'm not wrong about my hot Jew piece of ass.
How about that?
Again, apologies to the Me Too movement.
What was the next one you wanted me to look for?
I say in I Bought a Zoo.
We Bought a Zoo.
We Bought a Zoo. We Bought a Zoo. We Bought a Zoo.
The son is Colin Ford.
And I think Colin Ford is the little boy who is in Jack and the Beanstalk.
Okay, let's see if that works because I've got one here.
What's her name?
Chloe Grace Moretz. Oh, Chloe Grace Moretz.
Colin Ford is in We Bought a Zoo.
And then if I go to Colin Ford.
I never heard of Colin Ford.
He's a child actor?
Yeah, child actor.
Appeared as Joe McAllister in Under the Dome.
What are we looking for now?
Go back a few years.
Yeah.
Oh, look for Jack and the Beanstalk.
Nice work, Gottfried.
Yes.
That's pretty obscure.
That's, yeah's here's the
way i went scarlett johansson it's a very simple one in lost in translation with bill murray
and bill murray's in scrooged with bobcat oh and and then uh bobcat and Ewan, hot to try. Hot to try. There you go.
Colin Ford was in Jack and the Beanstalk. See?
Look at you.
Look at that.
So you beat me because I did it in three and you did it in two.
Oh, look at that.
You son of a bitch.
That's nice.
And in my fantasies, I'm beating Scarlett Johansson.
I'd like to know more about this Scarlett Johansson Mila Kunis
Natalie Hirschlog dream.
All three are Jews.
That's all I got.
Not that I turned down the shiksa.
Six degrees
of Kevin Bacon, by the way, for people
who are interested in it. It was created
by four Albright College students,
including a gentleman named
Brian Tuttle, in
somewhere in the 90s.
They claim to have invented the game that became known
as Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. Today we did
Six Degrees of Gilbert Gottfried. After
watching two movies featuring Bacon back
to back, Footloose
and The Air Up There, and then
they began to speculate about how many movies
Bacon had been in and the number of people with whom he had worked.
What was a great movie he did?
And that's how it happened.
Within the last few years,
the last 10 years, something,
he was a child molester.
The Restore of Echoes?
The one where he's the...
Oh, The Woodsman.
The Woodsman.
Yeah.
He was great in that.
Then there's that weird movie
where he's basically playing Jerry Lewis.
Oh, well, that's based on Rupert's novel.
Yes.
Because you did that whole thing about when Rupert was here.
Yes.
You kept trying to say that they were fucking each other.
Yes, yeah.
The Jerry and Dean characters.
That's called Where the Truth Lies.
Yeah.
And it was Kevin Bacon and Colin Firth.
Yeah.
And that was based on Howard's.
I remember the movie in the 90's... Maybe the early 2000s
where he turns invisible.
That's called The Hollow Man.
That's right. Yeah, that was made by the guy that made
Robocop. That was really weird, but there's
a couple of scenes in there that would never fly.
Never fly in 2018.
Yeah, I like stir of echoes.
He rapes a girl in it.
Kinda.
I heard that in that movie, you actually do see his dick in one point.
And someone said to him, when they were editing it, they said, you know, in this scene, we see your penis.
And he said, well, how does it look?
And they go, good.
And he goes, all right, then you could keep it in the movie.
I remember that. It was in the movie then you could keep it I remember that
it was in the movie
you could see it
but it wasn't erect
it was at about
six degrees
here's another way
to connect
to you to
Kevin Bacon Gilbert
you're in
Kevin
I'll go the other way
Kevin Bacon is in
X-Men Days of Future Past
with Ian McKellen.
Ian McKellen
and you are in Animal, what the hell is the name of it?
Animal Crackers.
There you go. That's pretty direct.
And this is fun.
Weird Al, our pal Weird Al, has a song
called Lame Claim to Fame. And one of the
lines in the song is, I know a guy who knows a guy
who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy
who knows a guy
who knows Kevin Bacon
which is kind of fun
and that's how
that whole thing happened
so I'm going to give you
as a challenge
I'm going to give you
some people
yes
I bet we could even
link you to silent stars
like Chaplin
I'm sure you could
if we worked hard enough
at it
to figure out how to do that.
Chaplin, I know he worked with Brando.
And he worked, well, your easiest way in is he worked with, I don't think he's in the Brando movie.
No.
He's not in Accountants from Hong Kong.
But I think, but Harold, who's still alive, the guy who turned us down, Norman Lloyd.
Isn't Norman Lloyd in Limelight?
Oh, yes, yes.
I think he is. So you could go
that way.
Because Norman Lloyd's in,
I think he's in The Holiday
with Cameron Diaz. Did you ever work with
Cameron Diaz? Never
worked with Cameron Diaz.
See if we can do one in real time.
Oh, okay. Paul, I'm going to need you for this.
Okay, I'm ready.
Is Norman Lloyd in The Holiday?
I think he is.
And I think that I know Eli Wallach's in it.
We just have to get a Norman Lloyd movie because he's in Limelight.
And then we can connect you to Chaplin.
You never worked with Kate Winslet or Jack Black?
Well, no, but if he worked with Cameron Diaz...
I got it.
Then we could go into Shrek and go to Eddie.
Oh!
And then connect you.
Oh, okay.
How's that?
Yeah.
So this now hinges on whether Norman Lloyd was in...
Okay, it's...
I don't think...
I think I got the wrong movie.
I think he's in In Her Shoes with Cameron Diaz.
I'm sorry.
The one I'm looking for now is...
Skip the holiday.
Check out a movie called In Her Shoes, which is with Cameron Diaz and I believe Tony Collette,
because I think that's the Norman Lloyd movie.
And if that's it, we got it.
If you can't include TV, because if you include a TV, she was in Charlie's Angels
with Bill Murray, and
Bill Murray hosted an episode
of Saturday Night Live. That's right. He tousled
your hair. Oh, that's right.
Tossled your hair, wherever the hell that word is
pronounced. What do you got on in her shoes?
The movie is not coming up under
Harold Lloyd. No, no, no.
Norman. I'm sorry. I'm Norman Lloyd.
No, I've got Norman Lloyd.
Harold Lloyd's easy.
Norman Lloyd is not in her shoes?
Let me have that device.
All right, hold on.
You don't know how to use it.
Yeah.
Give me this thing.
Take his Blackberry away.
Give me this thing.
Norman Lloyd.
How do we get to Norman Lloyd?
Norman Lloyd, IMDB.
Frank, you can trim some of this.
I'll let you in on a little secret soon.
Yeah, what's that?
You weren't recording?
No, I'm messing with you.
I keep pausing the clock every time you, like,
between you look at it,
so it's actually been a pretty good half hour already.
You son of a bitch.
I'm just wondering, at what point is he going to say,
what is this episode?
Yeah, I was just saying that.
Okay, Normand's in the
adventures of rocky and bullwinkle with with uh with de niro uh so we're done okay we're done
yeah yeah so so norman lloyd's in limelight frank you son of a bitch norman lloyd's in limelight uh
with chaplin uh norman lloyd's in the adventures of rocky and bullwinkle with de niro who's in the
comedian with you yes i think he, Frank knows 30 minutes so well.
He instinctively knows when to look up and sees that it's time to move on and wrap it up.
I said, let me just play with time a little bit and see what happens.
Here's another one.
Norman Lloyd's in Dead Poets Society with Robin Williams and you in Aladdin.
Robin Williams, Aladdin.
So you look to Chaplin in four steps.
Wow.
How about that?
Is De Niro in Rocky and Bullwinkle?
Yeah, he's the fearless leader.
He's the villain.
Yeah, here's your device back.
All right, let's get out of here.
This has gone on too long.
We can trim this up.
What is it now, like 35 minutes?
Asshole.
You asshole.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
This has been Gilbert and Frank's
Amazing Colossal Obsessions.
Ah. Colossal Obsessions. Ah! Ah!
Colossal Obsessions.