Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #186: The Worst Frankenstein Movies Ever Made
Episode Date: October 18, 2018This week: William "One Shot" Beaudine! Boris Karloff pays the rent! Gilbert meets Samuel Z. Arkoff! James Lipton interviews Lon Chaney Jr! And the strange death of Al Adamson! Learn more about your a...d choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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The producer of the month for October is Sean Liu.
Liu!
And if you want to be producer of the month, go to patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried and send us some suggestions. Hey, we've got some bills to pay.
The podcast rent is due today.
A check or cash's hard it takes. And we'll
make you producer
of the month.
Here we go once.
One, two, three, four.
Give me that back, colossal obsessions. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Oh, yeah!
Hey, Timmy.
This is I'm Gilbert Gottfried.
I'm here with Frank Sandopadre, and this is Gilbert and Frank's amazing, colossal obsession with crepe paper
last week.
Oh, my God.
You really hit amazing
and colossal, I'd say.
He's got such energy.
Suddenly, he's like shot
out of a Roman candle.
When he turns to me
to describe what's missing,
you can see it just takes
the whole thing up.
He's like Sandy Duncan.
He's a ball of change.
He's a ball of energy.
The star-spangled girl.
Hi, Gilly.
Yes.
How are you?
Oh, you know.
Yeah.
You're looking well.
Yes.
Yes.
Paul Raybone is here.
We established that.
Bling, bling, bling, bling.
What are you this week?
Crepe paperless?
Crepe paperless.
Sorry, I was looking down at my notes.
Forgive me.
We're going to do something different.
Something a little bit out of the ordinary.
We're going to do a producer of the month, which we haven't done in a long time.
Oh, okay.
And I don't know whether I'm going to try to stump you with these or just talk to you about them.
Yes. Because this is a bit of a blind spot for me. Okay. And I don't know whether I'm going to try to stump you with these or just talk to you about them.
Yes.
Because this is a bit of a blind spot for me,
but I know that this is your sweet spot.
Oh.
This being the month of October,
one of our fans by the name of Sean Lou,
Sean Lou, L-O-U,
said,
Lou, Lou.
You say you saw the candle move.
You saw the candle move.
What was that great bit where he had to,
I must have gone back to vaudeville,
where they try to prove to Sidney Fields
that a loaf of bread is the mother of an airplane.
Do you remember this bit?
Am I crazy?
Do you remember this?
And the punchline ends up being that necessity is the mother of invention.
That a loaf of bread is a necessity and the airplane is an invention.
And he draws it on the wall of Fields' boarding house so that they can get out of their rent.
He bets him.
These are the kind of conversations I'd have with Drew Friedman at one in the morning.
He bets Mr. Fields that if he can prove that
a loaf of bread is the mother to an airplane,
he doesn't have to pay his rent that month.
This is the shit that pops into my head
when you talk about Lou Costello. Anyway,
it's the month of October,
and so this gentleman suggested
something that's right up Gilbert's alley,
and that is the worst Frankenstein movies
ever made. How about
that?
Pretty good.
Paul's looking at me.
Now, Paul, you were not brought in on this earlier.
We've never met before.
Is that correct?
That's correct.
I'm doing it.
Well, there was... Well, I'll start.
I'm doing Kreskin.
Go ahead.
You got one off the top of your head?
There was Frankenstein's Daughter.
That's on my list.
Which had, what's his name, the silent screen, Harold Lloyd Jr.
That's right.
That's right.
Very good.
Special appearance by Harold Lloyd Jr.
How did you come up with that?
And surprisingly, he didn't follow it up with a big movie career. No. No. No. Harold Lloyd Jr. How did you come up with that? And surprisingly, he didn't follow it up
with a big movie career.
No.
No.
No, Harold Lloyd Jr.
I want to see,
I printed some of these out.
I want to see how many of these
you actually know.
And I heard with
Frankenstein's daughter
when the director didn't know
what the makeup people
were going to do
because he just,
you know,
they got them as cheap as possible
and when he saw how
bad it was, he started crying.
Is that true? Yeah.
Where did you see this? Yeah, because
it looks like a guy, first
of all. It doesn't look like a girl.
It was just scary.
Okay, but was it worse than
Jesse James meets Frankenstein's daughter?
Now, was that with John Carradine?
No, I don't think he's in that one.
John Carradine met Dracula.
He's Billy the Kid meets Dracula.
Billy the Kid meets Dracula.
That's right.
That's a whole other ball of wax.
Paul, do me a favor.
Look up who was in Jesse James meets Frankenstein's daughter,
made in 1966 by William One-Shot Bodine.
Oh, excellent.
I think he's
the guy that directed Bela Lugosi meets a
Brooklyn Gorilla, right? Same guy.
That's right. Yeah, same guy.
Sammy
Petrillo and Duke Mitchell.
Carradine was
in some awful thing from 1981
called Frankenstein Island.
I saw that.
You've seen that one too. I saw that. You've seen that one too.
I saw that.
Of course.
And there's like zombies walking around.
Yes, it was a remake of something called Teenage Zombies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was...
That was John Carradine paying the rent.
A major league mess.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just want to see if you know some of these titles
because some of these things are truly awful. I remember in Frankenstein's Island,
they have the mad doctor and he's wearing an eye patch.
Of course.
And there are zombies walking around growling
and the hero says to him,
how did you lose your eye?
And you go, I think that's pretty obvious.
There are zombies here.
By the way, what was the plot?
Because I have not seen Jesse James meets Frankenstein's daughter, although I want to.
The Frankenstein monster does show up in Frankenstein Island.
He does.
It looks like a Halloween.
I understand the plot of this was that Jesse James is on the run
and he hides out in Frankenstein's castle.
Was that the premise?
Well, that was the, it's based on a true story.
Oh, really?
Oh, I see.
I see, I see.
I didn't realize that.
Do you know, do any of these titles mean anything to you?
And Paul, you can chime in on any of these or just look any of them up.
Frankenstein Conquers the World.
That was Japanese.
Yes, yes.
I remember, in fact, I think they used a picture from Frankenstein Conquers the World on one of the covers of Famous Monsters.
Incredible.
I got a little bit on Jesse James here.
Hit me.
I haven't stumped him yet, by the way.
He knows every one of these.
So Jesse James meets Frankenstein's daughter.
1966.
The IMDB rating is 2.9 out of 10.
Right.
It makes you want to watch it all the more.
Jesse James, of course, was played by John Lupton.
Of course he was.
And Dr. Maria Frankenstein was played by Narda Onyx.
Sounds like some kind of mineral.
Uh-huh.
And Cal Boulder played Hank Tracy on Igor.
Based on a true story, as Gilbert said.
Like out of Africa.
There's nobody here who seems remotely recognizable.
Oh, my God.
But, you know, he knew Frankenstein Island.
He knew Frankenstein Conquers the World was Japanese.
I don't even have the plot of that one.
Do I have the plot of that one?
I can still see the picture in my mind from Frankenstein Conquers the World.
Okay, I'm going to try some of these other ones out on you.
This Japanese guy.
Yeah, and by the way, we'll invite our listeners.
If there's one we miss, we'll invite our listeners
to write in or tweet us
and tell us
or post on Listener Society
and tell us what you think
the worst Frankenstein
movie ever made was.
How about this?
Does this mean anything to you?
I'm going to go
in reverse order here.
Nope.
I'll go in chronological order.
Frankenstein meets
the space monster?
Does that mean anything to you?
From 1965?
Oh, yes!
Wait!
Oh, yeah!
Guess who starred in it?
James Caron.
Look at this guy.
James Caron was in that.
He was the star.
James Caron was the star.
He was a sign.
I spoke to James Caron today.
You did?
How's he doing?
He called me.
He's doing good.
It was great talking.
Good.
Yes.
He never signed a release form.
James Caron was like the official or the scientist.
Yeah.
You got it.
He's an astronaut.
He goes into space.
And talk about like the worst special effects.
I'll give you the plot.
All the women on the planet Mars have died in an atomic war except for Martian princess Marcosan.
Marcosan and her right-hand man, Dr. Nader, decide they will travel to Earth and steal all the women on the planet in order to continue the Martian race.
And they shoot down a space capsule manned by the android astronaut Colonel Frank Saunders,
causing it to crash in Puerto Rico.
And that's...
James Caron said they did film this in Puerto Rico.
Correct.
Yeah.
Frank's electronic brain
and the left half of his face are damaged
after encountering a ray gun.
Frank, now the Frankenstein of the title,
described by his creator as an astro robot without a control system.
So technically, this is not the Frankenstein monster.
Okay.
I remember there's a scene there where it's supposed to be there's a press conference with the astronaut and he breaks down and stops moving.
So they couldn't even get the actor to just sit still.
So they obviously freeze the film.
They just stop the film.
It's so obvious.
Stop the film.
No python.
And my favorite thing is to avoid any suspicion that something crazy is going on, that the astronaut's not moving.
They make an announcement, we'll be serving drinks in the other room.
And everyone goes, drinks? Let's go.
Sounds like Ed Woodbad.
Yes.
I saw that one one Of course you did
In the United States
It was released on a double feature
With Curse of the Voodoo
The film tells the story
Of a facially damaged android
Who fights alien invaders
Despite the title
I should have led with this
Neither Dr. Frankenstein
Nor the Frankenstein monster
Appear anywhere in the film.
We have to get James back on just to talk about this.
The film was ranked number seven in a DVD documentary called The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made.
We definitely should give him a call.
We will.
How's he doing?
Is he in good spirits?
Yeah.
Is he lively?
Great.
Yeah, he's got the same voice.
Oh, I love that man. Yeah. Had you ever heard of this one, spirits? Yeah. Is he lively? Great. Yeah, he's got the same voice. Oh, I love that man.
Yeah.
Had you ever heard of this one, Paul?
No.
Is this man next to me a marvel or what?
I haven't stumped him yet.
Okay, Gil.
Here's another one.
If it's a piece of shit, I've seen it.
How about, what was that one?
That was from 1965.
Okay, I'm not going in order.
I'm going all over the place.
I believe you talked about this one on a previous show.
This was made in 1958, but it's called Frankenstein 1970.
Boris Karloff.
Very good.
And the premise is they're shooting a horror movie in an old house that they don't know is the house of Dr. Frankenstein.
Yes. Yes. Who was held know is the house of Dr. Frankenstein. Yes.
Yes.
Who was held prisoner by the Nazis.
Correct.
Dr. Frankenstein.
Did you know that Frankenstein became, was a prisoner of war?
Yes.
Dr. Frankenstein.
Dr. Frankenstein.
Yes.
Made in 1958.
Dr. Frankenstein allows a TV crew to shoot a movie in his castle, and he uses the cash
to buy an atomic reactor.
I assume to exact revenge
on the Nazis who
tortured him? Wow.
When the Baron, the arrangement gives
the Baron just enough money to buy an atomic reactor
which he uses to create a living being,
modeled after his own likeness.
When the Baron runs out of body parts for his work,
he proceeds to kill off members of the film crew.
Well, absolutely.
And even his faithful butler for more spare parts.
Boy, Karloff was just...
Oh, oh yeah.
This is heartbreaking.
Give me a check.
Yeah, cut to the check.
And Karloff, I think in one part,
does a whole long speech
about this one Nazi who used to yell at them.
And he goes, And then they found him with his tongue cut out nicely done yeah nicely done after the reactor is shut down and the radio
the radiation falls to safe levels the monster's bandages are removed and an audio tape is played
back in which the baron reveals that he had intended all along for the monster's bandages are removed and an audio tape is played back in which the Baron reveals
that he had intended all along
for the monster to be a perpetuation of himself
because he was the last
of the Frankenstein family line.
There you go.
Is this making any sense at all?
Not too much.
I think they were originally going to call this
Frankenstein 1963.
But then they said,
well, it's only like three years into the future.
Technically five.
Yeah, like five years into the future.
That's not so mysterious.
It was shot in black and white CinemaScope.
It was released theatrically on a double feature
with the Zsa Zsa Gabor film, Queen of Outer Space.
Oh.
How about that?
And I remember it begins with, it looks like the Frankenstein monster's chasing someone.
And then it goes, cut.
And then you see it's.
Oh, it's the fake out.
Yeah.
So then you know it's a movie being made.
At least they were clever enough to do that.
The movie they were shooting at the beginning, they should have shot that movie.
Directed by a man
who had a career,
Howard Koch,
who was the producer
of The Odd Couple,
The Manchurian Candidate,
Airplane.
Howard W. Koch.
Everybody's got to start
somewhere.
Felix!
Felix!
Frankenstein!
He was,
Howard Koch had a big career.
Yeah.
We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this.
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Okay, we haven't stumped Gilbert yet.
Here's another one.
I fear we will not.
Does the title Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks mean anything to you?
The title.
Okay, the star is Rosanna Brasi as Cap Frankenstein.
You can't go wrong with a midget in a movie.
Not a midget.
Michael Dunn's in it.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, Michael Dunn's in it.
How did you know that?
So somewhere, Irving Villages was going, Why wasn't I in that movie?
Can I talk to my
ancient Marty
Rosenberg?
Hey, Marty!
Why wasn't I
in Frankenstein
and the Castle of Freaks?
Where I could have gotten more pussy than Tom Salik.
Tom Salik.
Back this up a minute.
Why did you think Rossano Brasi was a midget?
Rossano Brasi?
With a name like that, he should be.
He was Katharine Hepburn's
love interest in Summertime.
The Italian actor. Yeah, but they shot him
to look normal. Right.
But without even... They had him
standing on a soda box.
Without even
knowing it, you didn't
even know there was a dwarf who got second
billing. The great Michael
Dunn. Who did Michael Dunn play?
Michael Dunn played Gens.
Gens. I know, but that doesn't tell us much.
He had to have a midget name.
What? He had to have a midget
name. Of course. Like they could
name him Dave or Phil.
He had to have all the
Gens. Phil the midget?
Hey!
Could someone Phil the midget, please?
Let me give you the plot of this one.
We're taking a break.
We have to fill the midget.
You'll love this one, Paulie.
A Neanderthal man is lynched by villagers.
And Count Frankenstein brings the monster back to life.
Trying to avoid detection from the authorities and the locals, his creation escapes and wreaks havoc.
You know, as it does.
As they tend to do.
I love this.
I found this gaffe on IMDB.
Doing research.
On Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks which was Italian.
Oh yeah.
You can
put through your usual
slurs out there.
Some of our famous
movie makers.
John Smith.
Well here's what's interesting.
Italian film critic
and historian
Roberto Cutti
stated that the production
the production details
of this film
were shady
if not contradictory
which includes
the identity
of the director of the film which is unknown. contradictory which includes the identity of the director
of the film
which is unknown.
Nobody would put
their name on it.
Kind of like this episode.
Just kind of like
this episode.
I just got a call
from Standards.
They asked
if we stop
recording now
and burn the Macintosh
and anything related
to this episode.
No more mentions?
There are different theories about who directed.
No one would take credit for Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks.
Was it producer Oscar Brazzi?
Cinematographer Mario Mancini?
Or Spanish actor Ramiro Olivares?
It sounds like Caritas Chico would have been in.
Yeah, Barabelli.
Directed by Barabelli.
Ravelli the Iceman.
You know, and...
I don't want any ice.
Hey, Rusty.
Hey, Rusty.
What do you got, Paul?
Well, there's just...
We should save these for a part two.
Oh, my throat hurts.
It just has similar movies to Castle of Freaks.
And there's like another eight or ten here that are just unbelievable.
The film was released in the U.S. under various titles, including Terror Castle, The House of Freaks, The Monsters of Dr. Frankenstein, and finally Dr. Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks.
They not only had trouble with the director's name, the movie's name was also a problem.
So, you know, you like to go had trouble with the director's name, the movie's name was also a problem. So, you know,
you like to go slamming
the Guinea director's name.
In this case,
they evaded your ire
because nobody would
actually take credit for it.
I got another one here.
Do I have this one?
So this movie
had no witnesses.
No witnesses.
By the way,
Frankenstein 1970,
just to go back, was shot
in eight days on a modest
budget. And the film's
main set was barred
from a 1958 movie called Too Much Too
Soon. How about that?
Yeah. Yeah. Good stuff.
Okay, here's a couple more.
Do
these mean anything to you?
Lady Frankenstein.
Yes.
Joseph Cotton.
Lady Frankenstein has Mickey Haggerty.
You're right.
Mickey Haggerty.
Yes.
Hargitay.
Hargitay.
Mickey Hargitay.
Who is Mariska Hargitay's father.
Yeah, Jane Mansfield's ex-husband.
Yeah, and he's like a detective.
I don't know the plot of this one.
I'm going to have Paul look it up.
It was Lady Frankenstein.
And one thing I will have to give them points for.
Yep.
There was nudity.
In Lady Frankenstein?
Yes.
There was nudity.
How about that?
I hope it wasn't Joseph Kahn.
Tell me the third actor listed, by the way, Paul, if you found it.
Yeah, I had it.
How do you pronounce his name?
The third actor listed under Mickey Hargitay and Joseph Cotton is Herbert F-U-X.
Herbert Fox.
Or Herbert Fuchs.
Or Herbert...
But how would you pronounce F-U-X?
Fuchs.
Fuchs?
Fuchs.
But he's not a Jewish fella.
Well, it depends on whether you like the guy.
You like him, he's Jewish.
Not a Jewish fella.
Gilbert has actually heard of Lady Frankenstein.
I was...
When I was working Vegas the last time,
I went to the clothing place.
I mean, you you know the costume girls
and I was doing my laundry there
in the room
and I was sitting in the chair
and Lady Frankenstein
was on
and I thought
this is such a treat
wow
there was nudity
you live an active life
and Mickey Hargitay
and Mickey Hargitay yeah And Mickey Hargitay.
Yeah.
So I think I went through so many screens here.
I think I have the right one.
And you know something?
Mickey Hargitay, not a good actor.
No.
No.
No.
So Dr. Frankenstein is killed by a monster he created.
Yes.
His daughter and his lab assistant continue his experiments.
The two fall in love.
Of course.
An attempt to transplant Marshall's brain into the muscular body
of a retarded servant, Stephen.
I wonder this was up your alley.
And I think...
This is like Gilbert directed this.
I think Mickey Hargitay is doing...
trying to be a cool detective.
I see.
Like carrying a cane
and polishing the handle.
He's Mike Hammer.
Yes, yes.
Okay, what else you got?
Do you know this one, Gil?
From 1957,
this star somebody
who was also featured in your act,
Wit Bissell.
Teenage Frankenstein.
You got it.
Teenage Frankenstein.
I was a teenage Frankenstein.
And I mean,
the makeup looked like silly putty.
Yeah, well, this was an AIP special.
Oh, yes, yes.
This was an arc off beauty.
I don't even know where to begin.
Phyllis Coates is in it.
Lois Lane.
Oh, wow.
Who's still with us.
They have a, their one big line in the movie is,
Whit Bissell, as Dr. Frankenstein says,
I know you have a civil tongue.
I sewed it there myself.
I love it.
Yes.
What was the Whit Bissell?
Was it Bessel?
Oh, Bessel, Bissell, Jacqueline Bissett. Ted Bessel.
In the Jessel story?
Yeah.
You did that the first night I ever saw you on stage at the comic show.
Yes.
Which I'm guessing was 1980, 81?
And back then they were all dead.
Except for Jacqueline Bissett.
Ted Bessel in the Georgie Jessel story.
We like Bessel but only a B Bessel, says the Jewish press.
Yeah, great stuff.
Gary Conway from Land of the Giants played the monster.
That's right.
He's the monster.
And at one point, he kills a teenage boy, I love this line, and obtains his face.
I don't know what that means.
And he's wearing like a pretty boy muscle man t-shirt.
Uh-huh.
Even though he's got the Frankenstein makeup on.
So this was grade Z, Arkoff all the way.
Absolutely.
Nicholson and Arkoff.
Absolutely.
And Arkoff, yeah.
Boy, there is no stumping you on this subject of bad Frankenstein movies.
Samuel Arkoff.
Oh, that's right.
Was it him that said the crap was my idea?
Oh.
The shit was my idea?
What was it?
Yeah, because I think.
What was the story?
Roger Ebert.
Right.
After seeing that cue.
Cue, the Larry Cohen thing.
Yes.
He said of Michael Moriarty's performance, it's a great method acting uh in in a piece of dreck and now arcoff proudly says the dreck was
my idea i love that that is just great king of the z's samuel arcoff okay before i go out on the
on the big one that i know you'll know a couple other mentions a movie called frankenstein general
hospital from 1988.
No.
Well, our friend Leonard Maltin called it the worst Frankenstein film ever made in English.
And that's saying something.
Yes.
With the ones we just rattled off.
A movie that got a big release.
But that looks like it was trying to be funny.
I guess.
Which makes it worse.
I guess.
A movie that got a...
And I remember what happened was I was filming either a part in a movie or TV show,
and the producer said, we have to take a break for a while.
You want us to go out and get you a book?
And I knew that Arcoff had a book out out and I said, can you get that one?
And he said, not only can I get you the book,
but our driver will take you to Samuel Arcoff's house
and he'll sign it for you.
You've told that story.
That's a great story.
And he signed it?
Yes, it was amazing.
That's a great story.
I think he wrote in the book something like,
I don't know who you are, but Guy said you're okay, so that's fine with me.
I love it.
How perfect would he have been for this podcast?
Oh, my God.
Here's a major Hollywood release that was a terrible bomb.
The Bride with Sting.
Oh, yes.
And Jennifer Beals in 1985.
Oh, God.
I have not seen it.
Is it an attempt to remake The Bride of Frankenstein?
Kind of.
And there's a midget in it.
Of course.
Oh, is it Warwick Davis?
Who was the midget?
Maybe.
The guy from Legend?
Because the Frankenstein monster becomes friends with a midget.
Okay.
Paul, you're going to have to look that up.
Find that midget.
They joined the circus.
Right.
So it's the Frankenstein monster in the circus.
Yeah, Clancy Brown plays the Frankenstein monster.
Oh, wow.
We got to get him on this show.
Yeah, he's an interesting guy from Shawshank Redemption.
What about these hammer pictures?
I know you're not a hammer guy, but Curse of Frankenstein with Christopher Lee.
And then there's two without Lee that Cushing was in called The Evil of Frankenstein and Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed.
Oh, I remember I saw those when I was a kid, like on late 19th.
You're not a fan of those.
Never was.
I remember in one of the movies, but it may have had Alan Bates.
Okay.
Where they accidentally, it's such a grown ending,
they accidentally kill a kid,
accidentally kills the monster by pulling a lever that
has acid in it
and it melts the monster. It's like your old
bit about the lever in the castle that blows
the castle up. Yeah, don't pull that lever.
I haven't seen The Bride
but for honorable
mention as far as bad Frankenstein movies
I'd like to throw in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
with De Niro
as the monster,
which temporarily ended Kenneth Bronner's movie career.
Yeah, that was like, he sounded like Jake LaMotta as Frankenstein.
Well, it's just the peril of casting such a contemporary actor as the Frankenstein monster.
You might as well make Pacino, you know, Igor.
What do you got on...
What was the last one I gave you, Paul?
What, The Bride?
Yeah, well, no, we don't need to talk about
The Bride. I'm going to close with this. And they
tried to make it a big women's
lib parable. Yeah.
Like she wouldn't be ordered around
by Dr. Frankenstein. The makeup
was impressive.
These are the ones I found. I'm sure there are many, many
other terrible Frankenstein movies,
but these are the ones that I found.
And we'll wrap with one I know you know,
directed by Al Adamson in 1971.
Oh, my, Frankenstein versus Dracula.
You got it.
Wait, it's the other way around.
Oh, Dracula versus Frankenstein.
Right.
Lon Chaney Jr.
Very good.
And J. Carol Nash.
Look at you.
And the monster was like Zigoff Zaka.
It was something, a totally made-up name, like Zardo.
Really a guy named Jerry Levine.
Yeah, yeah.
And well, the Frankenstein monster in it, who's seven feet tall, he was actually, talk about Jews, he was an accountant.
He was like, hey, I think he was the accountant of Al Adamson.
It says like Edward's chiropractor. Yes! And he was getting a little annoyed
doing the movie because
it was tax season where he makes
most of his money. Good God.
Did Chaney play
a mute? Yeah.
Groton, the mute?
I mean, Chaney was like
he had been dead for
10 years while he was
filming that. 1971.
And so, yeah, he played a mute called, like, yeah, Groton.
Groton.
Because when you're a midget or a monster, you have to have a name.
You know, it can't be Henry the Monster.
Or, of course, Phil the Midget.
Could someone Phil the midget?
We're running behind schedule.
We need the midget filled.
Here's where IMDB lets you down.
Yeah, what happened?
They're all headshots of the cast.
You can't tell who's the little one.
But the guy, he's got a beard,
and they came up with this name like Zarkov Zara.
I saw it when I was looking at it today. I think it's on
Wikipedia, Paul. Well, there's an actor
who's named Xander
Vorkoff. That's it! That's the guy.
Xander Vorkoff. That's Dracula.
And I
heard like
you know, Chaney
and J. Carol Nash
shared a room together.
Oh, it's just sad.
And it had been years since they did House of Frankenstein.
Does Fari Ackerman show up in this one?
Yes.
As Dr. Beaumont?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
He shows up and he's killed by the monster.
That's great.
And this was a way to get it mentioned in Famous Monsters.
In Famous Monsters of Filmland.
Russ Tamblyn was in it. Russ Tamblyn. Yes. Yes. We've got to get it mentioned in Famous Monsters of Filmland. Russ Tamblyn was in it.
Russ Tamblyn. Yes!
We've got to get Russ Tamblyn.
Because also... Dara, book Russ Tamblyn.
Also, it was
originally also going to be
called, like, you know,
Motorcycle Freaks.
Like, because
it was a motorcycle picture
that turned into a Dracula Frankenstein movie.
And then they got Cheney and J. Carol Nash
and they combined the two.
I have not seen you this excited in a long time.
Xander Vorkov.
And I heard that when Cheney and J. Carol Nash
were sitting in the room together,
Cheney said to J. Carol Nash,
well, J., I guess we're going to be dead soon.
And J. Carol Nash said, Shut up, Juan.
That's a beautiful story.
I saw that on Inside the Actor's Studio.
Beautiful.
How do you know all this?
Yes, if you could be anything, Mr. Nash.
Did he impress you?
Dara's sitting in there eating a banana and shaking her head with a sense of wonder.
We've secretly replaced Gilbert's usual coffee with cocaine.
Let's watch.
If God does exist,
If God does exist, what would J. Carol Nash say to him?
What is Xander Zirkoff's favorite curse word?
Oh, this was a fun one.
So thanks to Sean Liu.
Listener Sean Liu.
Gilbert had a field day.
Lon Chaney Jr., what is your favorite word?
We'll be dead soon.
He actually proposed,
I dare say this,
I say this at great risk,
he actually,
his idea was only,
was Frankenstein and Dracula movies
the worst ever,
but I knew you would
get so excited
and that you would have
so much information that I'd have to table Dracula for another day. So the worst ever, but I knew you would get so excited and that you would have so much information
that I'd have to table Dracula for another
day. So the next time, we'll do
worse Dracula movies. Thank you,
Sean Lew. It shows how pathetic
I am that most
guys, they could give
you all the facts
on baseball and football
games, and me,
I'm this excited
over Dracula vs. Frankenstein.
You knew which one had a midget in it
and what Cheney said to J. Carol Nash
on his deathbed.
Well, I think I talked about it on the show.
Al Adamson.
Yeah, now gone.
Okay.
Al Adamson, the way he died,
Al Adamson, he was a shit producer.
And he wanted to have a swimming pool.
So he hired, are we ready?
A drifter to make the swimming pool for him.
Oh, I know this story.
You know, a drifter, when can that ever end badly?
It wasn't a member of the drifters.
It was an actual drifter.
That was a member of, what was that other team that said,
Good night, Irene.
What was that group that sang Good Night, Irene?
The Weavers.
Was it the Weavers?
The Weavers, yes.
It wasn't that a time.
Yes.
Okay.
So he hires a drifter to make him a pool for cheap.
And he makes the pool.
And then people are saying, friends of Al Adamson say, where's Al Adamson?
We're calling him.
We stopped by his house.
He's not here.
And so finally, the police show up at Al Adamson's house and the pool has been plastered over.
And they found out that he did build the pool, killed Al Adamson, the drifter,
pool killed al adamson the drifter and then close up the pool and he told the police well al adamson changed his mind about having a pool and he wants to meet up what a story this is like edgar allen
poe here it really is almost as good a death as what's his name dr cyclops oh yes oh my god albert Dr. Cyclops. Oh, yes. Oh, my God. Albert Decker. Albert Decker. Yes.
They're good.
They're right there, neck and neck.
Great, gruesome Hollywood.
What was his in brief?
Oh, he was killed by some kind of hustler.
They found him hanging naked in the shower, bound and gagged with obscene drawings and words
written all over his body
and the police ruled it
a suicide.
A very talented suicide.
And one other podcast that offers
Al Adamson being killed and buried alive
in his own swimming pool.
We gotta sign off. That was fun.
So this has been Gilbert and
Frank's amazing
colossal obsessions
with Igor-less
Raybone.
Swimming pool-less Raybone.
See you next time. Colossal Obsessions
Colossal Obsessions