Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #199: Gilbert and Frank's Twitter Mailbag
Episode Date: January 17, 2019This week: Saluting Steve Hannah! Landing (finally) John Astin! Remembering Bob Einstein! Gilbert gets a residual check! And the return of the Groovy Guru! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit mega...phone.fm/adchoices
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Please play responsibly. I'm Gilbert. and Frank's very amazing Colossal Mailbag. Colossal Mailbag.
Colossal Mailbag.
Mailbag!
I'm Gilbert Gottfried
and this is Gilbert Gottfried's
I fucked it up.
Strike one!
Hi.
Yes.
Hi.
I'm Gilbert Gottfried.
Here with my co-host
Frank Santopadre.
And this is Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsessions.
Beautiful.
And I want to get one thing out of the way.
The papers have been saying that Raybone is dying of Munchausen syndrome.
Has it been covered in the media?
Yes.
I didn't realize that.
I say he is living with Munchausen syndrome.
I would say thriving.
Yes.
He's battling.
He's putting up a brave battle.
I'm a fighter.
We're going to remake Brian's song.
Call that Raybone's song.
You're going to be the subject of a movie of the week. That's a great blues tune. Well. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- Don't kill yourself. We're in a new year. Welcome, Ray Bone. Thank you. How are you feeling?
Much better. Every time Gilbert mentions my name, I get a little surge of energy.
Did you see the HBO series with Amy Adams, Sharp Objects?
No, I did not.
Because Munchausen by proxy plays a role. Uh-oh, spoiler if anybody hasn't seen the show.
She got it from this show.
That's it.
I did, however.
Plays a role.
I did finally catch up with Mrs. Maisel.
Uh-huh.
And who did I see introducing Lenny Bruce?
In the pilot.
In the pilot.
This narrated well next to me.
Very nicely done, Gilbert.
Thank you.
Finding your way on the hottest show on television.
How do you do it?
That's amazing because it's every now and then,
I mean, and decades past,
that I'll do something of respectability.
By sheer accident.
Because I just got a residual check for like about $10,
and it was added up one thing was um um um
uh hot to trot wait a minute what was the residual check yeah it was like well added up
it was hot to trot and um and funky monkey funky, you're getting residual checks. Yeah, and something else that added to $10.
$10?
Well, one of them was the Robert De Niro film.
The comedian?
The comedian, which no one saw.
Wow.
More people saw Funky Monkey.
Yes.
What can you do with $10?
Thank you, Arnie Kogan. What can you do with 10 bucks?
Thank you, Arnie Kogan.
That's your retirement right there.
I get checks for cartoons that I wrote in the 90s,
like Angry Beavers and CatDog and weird stuff like that.
They still come.
It's so weird when you get a check and you go,
when did I do this?
I don't remember.
My wife opens the envelope and is like, oh, there's $82 in here.
Yeah.
It's very happy. You ever see the bars that if you bring a residual check that's under a dollar, you
get a free drink at the bar?
Yeah.
There was a restaurant in LA.
Called Residuals.
Well, yes.
There was a bar in LA called Residuals.
There was a restaurant called the Hampton Cafe, I think, that was run by a guy named,
I'm going to get this right, by Stanley Ralph
Ross, who was a sitcom writer, and he
wrote for Batman. And the
idea was that writers were
charged, if you could prove you were a writer,
you got 10% off your bill, but
if you were an agent, you had to pay the extra
10%. Oh, that's great.
I don't know how well that was enforced.
That was the gimmick at the Hampton Cafe in LA, which is gone, and so is the great Stanley Ralph Ross.
Gilbert, a little bit of housekeeping before we do listener mail, because people are dying
to talk to you and ask you and Raybone questions.
A movie currently playing called The Favorite.
You know where I'm going with this?
With, I believe, Emma Stone.
Oh, yes, yes.
Olivia Colman, Emma Stone.
Where they do the whole thing about the orange wedges.
There's a scene of somebody.
Are you kidding me?
Fuck you, Emma Stone.
You've got to be kidding.
Am I getting this right?
Is it Emma Stone?
Emma Stone, Olivia Colman.
Olivia Colman.
She saw her win the Golden Globe last night.
We've been talking about orange wedges, as some argue it's tangerine wedges, on this
show for years now.
Yeah.
And now, these Johnny-come-latelys.
Emma-come-latelys.
Yeah.
Emma-come-latelys.
I don't know what the scene consists of because I haven't seen the movie.
No, but it makes me angry.
Somebody's throwing oranges at somebody, and I assume it's for some kind of sexual gratification.
What kind of world have we come to where somebody can steal the orange wedges bit?
I don't know.
Yeah, it'll always be ours.
And I think in Julia Roberts' next film, she shits on a glass coffee table.
I didn't know that.
We had a nice piece of artwork along those lines, by the way.
Dara, cancel Julia Roberts.
This is, I have a gift for you.
We did a gift episode over Christmas, but this one came the day after we did the episode.
This is from my old friend Fred Wheaton, who I work with at Topps.
He's a designer and an artist and an illustrator and does Wacky Packs and Garbage Pail Kids
and all that cool stuff.
And he sent this for you.
You know what that is?
And this is...
It's a pin.
It's a Yago.
It's your character.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
How about that?
Very good. I went public on social media when I was down in Disney World saying I couldn't
for the life of me find an Yago pin.
And I mean, I was hitting up weirdos like collectors who are walking around with their
books in the park.
And Fred Wheaton, bless his heart, found you in a Yago pin.
Thank you.
How about that?
Thank you in a Yago pin.
Yeah.
Very, thank you. I don't want to see that shit on ebay give it an hour dara i'll get a tiny pin and write my name on it and uh two quick
uh announcements uh uh larry storch one of the first guests on this show. Yes. The wonderful, ageless Larry Storch.
Who stands on his head every day.
Still stands on his head.
Speaking of which, we just had Gomez Adams in here.
That's right.
And I'm still a flutter.
Yeah.
Yeah, John Astin was here.
And it only took us two and a half years and about 72 phone calls.
And some begging and pleading to get him here.
When is that episode coming up?
Soon, young man.
But Larry Storch turned 96.
Wow.
Our friend Matt Beckhoff had a party for him
at a local theater,
and you guys can go on Facebook
and see Larry dressed in his Groovy Guru costume
from Get Smart from the 60s.
I don't know how they did this or how they found the groovy guru costume.
I guess they made a new one.
And Larry put on the shades, the whole beatnik thing, and the fake goatee or the Van Dyke
and did a whole groovy guru thing.
It's on Facebook.
It's on Larry Storch's appreciation page.
Larry Storch, nothing can stop the guy.
The guy is unstoppable.
Probably because he's still standing on his head.
I think so.
He's been a vegetarian for years, which will tell you something.
And I did some show, some crazy reality show where I was in like some kind of schoolyard outside area in the middle of the hot summer.
And Larry Storch showed up to say hi.
Wow.
He came to our live show.
Yes.
We did that show with Whoopi at Caroline's and he showed up.
And everybody, we introduced him and everybody went nuts.
The most beloved man in show business outside of the man sitting next to me.
Also ageless.
So happy birthday, Larry Storch.
We adore you.
Many more to come.
You are a blessing and a treasure, and we have to say a sad goodbye also to our friend Bob
Einstein yeah that really got um so sad Gilbert wrote a beautiful tribute on CNN
you wrote an op-ed that was very well received got many many page views which
we were happy about that people could see our appreciation for Bob we'll talk
about it when we schedule our in Memoriam episode in greater detail,
but a terrible loss for us.
He was one of those interviews that you just kick your shoes off, sit back.
I listened to it again.
Let him take over the show.
Did you go back and listen to it?
Yeah, yeah.
I listened to it, and I had tears streaming down my face.
I was screaming
from the other room.
My wife did not know
what was happening to me.
He killed us.
Yeah.
He basically ripped us apart
for an hour
and it was the funniest
hour of my life.
Yeah,
because I think
the CNN piece
is titled
He Viciously Insulted Me and I've Never Laughed Harder.
And I didn't know him.
It was set up by a mutual friend, my old friend Lee Kernis, who was handling Bob, said,
You've got to have Bob on the show.
Of course, we made it happen.
He just ripped us to death.
Yes.
And then he called my cell about a week later, and I got to meet the real Bob Einstein.
Yeah.
And he was the sweetest and the most grateful and so happy and told us how important it was what we were doing, and it meant the world to me.
And it was one of those shows from the first second you go, well, this is no work on our part.
We just sit back.
One of a kind.
Yeah.
One of a kind, One of a kind.
And we'll talk about him in more detail when we get around to the In Memoriam episode.
We're trying to get it out before the Oscars too there.
In the meantime, read the CNN article.
Read the CNN article, the op-ed that Gilbert wrote.
It's very sweet.
Albert Brooks sent out a lovely tweet about his brother, too, that was very sad.
I'm sorry we didn't get him back a second time, but I will treasure that first show.
Yeah.
That was insane.
Insanity.
Insanity.
And I'm so proud of it, and I'm so thrilled that we had him.
He was one of those just off and running when he came on.
Now, Frank, I kind of dropped the ball a little bit as you pointed out remind me who the guest is you killed what's that there
was a guest you killed recently by mentioning them well frank likes to we'll give them a little
backstory on this frank likes to claim that that i mentioned people on the show in passing and then
they actually pass right and it's happened pass. Right. And it's happened.
20,000 times.
It's happened several times.
Many times.
Everybody we talk about on the show is at an age where they've got one foot over the edge already.
Well, we lost six podcast guests this year.
We lost Charlotte Rae, Ken Berry, Will Jordan, Marty Allen, Bob, and our buddy James Caron.
Oh, yeah.
So it's been a rough year, to say the least, which we'll go into in depth.
But to answer Frank's question, we had Mario here for the Christmas show,
and I made some goofy joke about it.
And he died.
No, no, Mario.
Mario as well.
Mario was alive and well and thriving.
Julie Andrews was another one.
Well, Julie Andrews is still with us.
But I mentioned the captain.
And we're all mourning the death of Julie Andrews.
You just want to be first.
You're not first, you're last in this business.
I made a captain and Tennille joke to Mario.
I made a Captain and Tennille joke to Mario
and a couple of days
maybe a week or two later
we lost Daryl Dragon
and Frank you're slipping
because usually it's your job
I was very sick and very busy over the holidays
I understand
but you know
you gotta stay on top of this shit
and speaking of Mario
when I was editing the holiday show
I went to the
he was talking about a Lifetime movie
he did recently
when he was plugging stuff and I found it on YouTube but I went to the, he was talking about a Lifetime movie he did recently when he was plugging stuff
and I found it on YouTube
but I guess to surpass
sort of the
copyright protection,
they pitched it down.
So I found this scene
with Mario
with his voice
pitched down
a couple of steps
and he's like,
are you sure
you really want to go out there
and do that?
It was like
Butch Mario.
It was the most surreal.
You have to look for it. Oh, he can be Butch.
We will return to
Gilbert Gottfried's amazing
colossal podcast
after this.
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Tennessee sounds perfect.
You want to do a couple of quick Twitter questions?
Absolutely.
To wrap it up here because people want to talk to you.
Patrick Connor says, hey, Frank, I just came across the
podcast recently. I have been binging since. I wanted to compliment you for your, oh, imagine
I found this one first, for your research and interview skills. How did I have this one queued
up? Every guest literally says, how the fuck did you know that? It's obvious how good you are on
your preparation. Well, we just got one of those out of John Astin, which was very, very satisfying.
People tell me that same thing, too.
They do?
Yeah.
Well, how nice.
The fact that I've sacrificed everything else in my life for it,
there's a payoff.
Richard Ugino, or Ugino,
I just finished the episode with Mario on my way home tonight
for some post-holiday cheer.
I have never laughed harder.
Thank you, Betty Davis.
Thank you, Julia Child and Cher and Carol and Liza.
It was spectacular.
Mario brings it every year.
And I forgot who sent me this tweet, but someone sent me a tweet that said,
nothing says Christmas more than Gilbert asking Mario if there's any dick he won't suck.
Yes, I saw that tweet.
I still can't get over the whole Richard Kind airplane.
That was nutty.
That made the show for me.
I was in tears listening to it again.
Because I'm arguing back and forth.
We're talking about basically how many dicks he sucked.
And Richard Kind
is on the phone.
On a plane. Yeah, on a
plane, and he turns to the guy sitting
next to him. He goes,
did you hear any of that?
And the guy said,
the guy in the bathroom at the
end of the plane heard that.
Honestly, I sent you guys because I was recording him the whole time,
but the audio wasn't usable.
But I sent you guys a snippet with Richard cranked up,
and you can hear the plane and his reaction.
He's like, oh, oh, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, geez.
Oh, geez.
Are you hearing this?
Oh, oh, gee.
I got to go.
I got to go.
Really funny. I didn't put it in the show because to go. I got to go. Really funny.
I couldn't keep it in the show because it was just too hard to hear.
Really funny.
Only this show would get a guy who's calling with two minutes to start a show.
He's on a plane.
We haven't even done the intro yet.
But in fairness, because Mario called us out on that too.
In fairness, because Mario wanted to rehearse for a good 34 minutes before we did the show.
That's true.
We missed Richard in the car to the airport.
All right, screw you, Cantone.
Right?
So it's all his fault.
Morris Hollygarden
says,
Bob Einstein's episode
of your podcast
has always been held
close to my heart
as it gave me
one of the biggest
belly laughs of all time.
I will re-listen this weekend
and I will raise a toast
to a great man
and the warm way
that Gilbert and Frank
interviewed him.
That's very, very sweet.
I'm going to weep.
Let's see.
What else is here?
Here it is.
Wallace Greenslade.
Hey, Frank, I don't know if you and Gilbert know
or if listeners have brought this to your attention,
but the favorite with Emma Stone
includes a scene that Cesar Romero would enjoy very much.
Fuck you, Emma Stone.
I could not stop thinking of Gilbert
the entire time.
Let's see what else we have here.
Here, here.
Lots of tributes to Bob.
Douglas Hanau.
H-A-N-A-U or Hanau.
The more I think about it,
Frank is George Fenneman
to Real Gilbert's Groucho.
You know, we've said that a few times.
We've said it on this actual show.
I introduced myself at the very beginning when we started this podcast and people thought
they were just coming in to talk to Gilbert.
Right.
And I was like, who is this motherfucker that I have to talk to?
And I would just try to diffuse the situation.
I would say, I'm the George Fenneman.
And they'd say, who the fuck is George Fenneman?
A couple of people laughed and got it.
And who the fuck is Groucho Marx?
Yeah, a little bit of that.
Sandy Hackett.
Yes.
Yes, a lot of nice responses to the Sandy Hackett episode.
And we found this great clip of Sandy as a boy with his dad on Laugh-In, which is great.
And no surprise, a lot of great reactions to Dick Cavett's return.
That's right.
I have a quick Sandy Hacker thing that you may have forgotten.
This is a little inside baseball.
Yeah.
That was a mini.
I had to go back in and re-record the intro.
I had to lift part of an intro from another show where Gilbert says
Amazing Colossal Podcast. Yes.
Because it was slated as a Colossal Obsessions.
It was going to be an Obsessions episode. But then it went so long
but we never recorded another intro for it.
So he got this really brief intro.
Yes. And that's my fault
because I meant to post-record
a proper intro to Sandy.
So I Frankensteined one.
Yeah, but the last show
with Mario here rehearsing
and the keyboard
and then we had the whole
behind the scenes crew in here
and the gifts
and I was so close to an embolism.
I wanted to say one thing about Mario.
Please do.
We love him.
He's so funny and such a great guy
and I was very impressed.
When you did the episode,
he had a cold or something.
Yeah.
And he was unhappy with the way he did one of the songs.
And he came back the next week just to redo that song.
No one's supposed to know that, Paul.
We edited it specifically so you couldn't tell.
Nice job, Paul.
You fucking ruined it.
You just revealed a behind-the-scenes secret.
We did it in a way that no one would ever know.
Intentionally.
But now that it's out there, it's a tribute to Mario's professionalism.
That's exactly where I was going with that.
That he had a cold, and he wasn't happy with the way that it sounded,
and we booked extra time, and he he came back and he did it again.
And unlike us,
he's a professional.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And in Judy Garland's voice,
he screamed,
fuck you,
Emma Stone.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Our friend,
John Fodiatis,
who you called
Tom Fodiacus
when he was here.
Why would you know his name?
He's only been writing music
for the show for four years.
John says, Empty City Squares is John on Twitter.
He says, In preparation for my appearance,
I spent countless hours meditating on the Tao of Frank Nelson.
Oh, my God.
That was a ton of fun.
Thanks again, the rest of the team.
That was fun.
Gilbert was terribly intimidated that there were six people in the room.
He was just going to go home.
Let's see what else we have here.
So now the Frank Nelson.
Hey, we got to give a shout out to, if no one tweeted about it,
John Beach's intro for the Mario episode.
Whoa, yes.
Wasn't that fucking great?
Where are my manners?
That was terrific.
That was so good.
Yes, John Beach.
Well, Gilbert doesn't know what I'm talking about
because he doesn't go back and listen to the show. Oh, my God. Gilbert listened to it. Dara did. I Well, Gilbert doesn't know what I'm talking about because he doesn't go back and listen to the show.
Oh, my God.
Gilbert listened to it.
Dara did.
I made Dara.
No, no.
I emailed it to you guys.
I know, but I made Dara listen to it, and she loved it.
It was a fake-out, Gilbert, of a 1960s kind of Christmas special.
Like a Dean Martin.
Well, that was the intro.
Why am I getting feedback?
Is it from my phone, Frank?
I don't know.
Because I turned it up in here.
I got my mic open.
That's okay.
Let me see.
Richie Wilson writes,
If the Academy doesn't let Gilbert Gottfried host this year's Oscars,
then these people have no clue on how to make television history.
Not a zip, zero zilch.
Have you been approached, Gilbert?
Well, yes, because I'm totally inoffensive.
David Warr, David Warr, D-A-V-I-D-W-A-R, David Warr,
is responding to something Cliff Nesteroff, our friend Cliff Nesteroff, posted.
Oh, about Abbott and Costello?
Yes.
David writes, and when the man gets the obscene film, who picks it up?
Every reel of it.
Cliff posted.
Go ahead.
I had heard that even before Cliff wrote about it, that Abbott and Costello, particularly Abbott, had a large collection of porn.
Yes.
Well, Red Skelton, they said, too.
Oh, yeah, that wouldn't surprise me.
They say that he had a collection of stag reels.
I don't know about Luke Costello.
That's news to me, but I would never question Cliff.
Yeah.
How do we tie that into the strawberry milkshake
in some way?
I don't know,
but I heard about the Abbott one.
We went to see Stan and Ollie.
Have you seen that?
I saw it.
I had a screener.
It was great.
Yeah, it was really great.
You should see that.
Some factual errors,
but I won't harp.
I'm not surprised.
They got the names wrong.
I'm going to pull a Paul maneuver here.
In the most,
I think it was the Dick Cavett episode,
you mentioned having a screener,
and then you said, I'll lend it to you, too.
I guess it was Dick Cavett.
Yeah.
And you're not really allowed to share those things.
Oh, yeah.
So I cut that out of the episode.
Oh, actually, that was a screener that was given to me by somebody else,
not a guild screener, not a union screener.
Oh, okay.
So I could have shared that one.
You could have shared it. I just didn't want to get you. So I could have shared that one. You could have shared it.
I just didn't want to get you in trouble, so I cut that out.
You're a kind fellow.
I'm sorry I brought it up.
I don't share my guild screeners.
That's a way to get yourself in deep doo-doo.
I do want to see that movie, though, and I can't find it playing anywhere.
It's fun.
Did you see Stan and Ollie?
Not yet, but I'm waiting.
I'll probably get a screener pretty soon.
You should.
You're not going to get mine. Richardard kine followed me on twitter there you go just now just now
three years later thank you rich i appreciate hearing from you i heard they're both great and
laurel and hardy terrific particularly co Coogan really disappears into the role.
Somebody complained
that his hat
was too large
for it.
I think there were
some liberties taken,
some artistic license
with the truth.
Hal Roach is not
portrayed in a very
flattering light.
I won't tell you
anything else about it.
But Riley is a guy
that I think we should
try to get in here
because I think he's
one of the
throwback guys who kind of loves the old stuff.
What about Coogan?
We'll try them both.
Yeah.
We'll try them both.
Steve Hanna, I got to give Steve Hanna props for the Danny Thomas.
Did you see this?
Gilbert is just reacting.
Our artist in residence, Steve Hanna.
I hope you're listening, Steve.
For Danny Thomas' what would have been his 106th birthday.
There's his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and a glass coffee table.
Over the star.
And a chocolate.
What I'll say is a chocolate cake.
On top of the star.
Steve's work.
Did you see the thing he did with you as the reindeer?
As the foul-mouthed reindeer?
Yes, yes.
And I was, I don't know what I was.
I guess I was Hermie the elf.
I was Hermie the dentist.
And Mario saw it and tweeted,
where the fuck am I in this?
Yeah, they said Gilbert the foul-mouthed reindeer.
Yeah.
Lastly.
Oh, it's Gilbert the blue.
It was the blue-mouthed reindeer.
Blue-mouthed reindeer, yes.
Yeah.
With Burl Ives in the background.
Naming names.
My wife was very funny.
We were listening to Rudolph, and it opened up with Burl Ives singing,
you know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer.
And my wife said, he's naming names again.
Liam McEnany.
Liam, our old friend.
You remember Liam?
He interviewed us on his podcast once.
I am listening to Real Gilbert and Frank Santopadre talking to Ron Delsner about the last automat off Times Square.
I totally forgot.
My grandfather took me there when I was a little kid.
I still remember the little glass windows with the food behind.
Yeah, I remember those, too.
And I remember when I was a kid, I used to love, like, my mother would put the coin or the token in.
Oh, yeah.
And I'd get hot chocolate out of the lion's mouth.
Oh, great.
There was a little metal.
Was that in the Hoarded Heart at one in 42nd Street?
Yeah.
Yeah.
There was a little metal lion head, and I'd get hot chocolate.
Great memories.
And to bring this full circle, I love that Delsner episode, by the way.
We spent the whole first 20 minutes not even talking about show business.
And I'm trying.
We were off point.
There's a song that someone sang, we'll have to get a copy of it, that I remember the lyrics go,
and now I'm big, I'm big and fat, cause I keep on eating at the automatic. Oh, we'll have to
find that. That's my wake-up song
every day.
It's my alarm. We had
John Astin on the show earlier, as I mentioned,
and he's in a movie with Cary Grant
and Doris Day called That Touch of
Mink. And
I was watching it for research.
I'd seen it before a million years ago. And there's an
automat scene shot in the automat with Audrey Meadows.
And it was just great.
And Richard Deacon is in the scene.
And it was just great to see the automat functioning.
Because, you know, we get off on old New York.
Movies about old New York.
Yeah, stuff you can't see anymore.
So I don't know when we'll post this, but the John Astin episode was a keeper.
It was great.
It was thrilled to finally get him here.
Oh, terrific.
Oh, my God.
My nipples were hard.
He's got like the same facial expressions, the same kind of half smile out of one quarter
of his mouth.
Yes.
It's really funny.
He's a treasure.
We'll put it up in a couple of weeks.
And that's it for Listener Mail.
Anything else, Ray Bone?
I think that's it.
Still working on my album. Any day now.
Okay. Say goodnight, Raybone.
Goodnight, Raybone.
And this has
been Gilbert and Frank's
amazing, colossal obsessions.
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