Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #201: HQ Trivia host Scott Rogowsky
Episode Date: January 31, 2019This week: "The Sanford Arms"! "Chico and the Man: The Motion Picture!" Gilbert plays a bar mitzvah! The generosity of Richard Kind! And Scott quizzes the boys on super-tough movie trivia! Learn more ...about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with Frank Santopadre,
and we're at Showbiz Studios.
Showbriz.
Showbriz Studios. Lookbriz. Showbriz Studios.
Look to your left.
See?
Showbriz Studios.
Owned and operated by Alex Brazile.
Not Keith Brazile.
Not Keith.
No.
And our guest this episode.
Oh, this is Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsession.
And who's our guest?
See, okay.
He just, Frank just showed me.
Because I still don't know what the fuck you do.
I didn't want him to forget your name.
Yes, yes.
It's Scott Radowski.
Hey, he's here.
Yes, Scott Radowski is here. Scott Radowski, ladies and gentlemen.
Now, now...
Pat Slajak.
The Semitic Sajak, they call me.
Now, fuck you and your career.
You said you're a fan of this podcast.
Can you believe that?
Am I the first?
What's the matter with you?
I was saying, I listen to four podcasts.
Oh, now it's four.
A minute ago, it was three.
Oh, well.
Well, I wanted to squeeze another.
So there's, I listened to the best show with Tom Sharpling, who was a guest on the show. We love Tom to death. I'm now it's four. A minute ago it was three. Oh, well. I wanted to squeeze another. So there's, I listened to
The Best Show with Tom Sharpley, who was a guest
on the show. We love Tom to death. I'm so glad I helped
Alex, I helped connect you guys.
Dana Gould, our, another former guest of yours.
We love Dana. Yes. And I listened to Gilbert's
podcast, of course, you guys. And then
Stormfronts,
The Daily Stormer.
You know, I always wanted to be up on, yeah,
you know, which Jew is controlling Hollywood this week. You know, I always wanted to be up on, yeah, you know, which Jew is controlling Hollywood this week.
You know, they keep me up to date.
Keep in touch with your neo-Nazi.
Yeah, my neo-Nazi roots.
I'd gotten on a list.
They found this Nazi list of Jews who have way too much power.
And I was there.
And I was so thrilled.
What a thrill.
I wanted to send
a thank you card
to the American Nazi Party
because I was there
with Steven Spielberg
and all these people.
Wow.
And Barbara Bach.
See, these are things I learned
listening to your podcast.
Olivia Newton-John.
All the secret Jews. Big Jew. Well, that's one I learned listening to your podcast. Olivia Newton-John, called the secret Jews.
Big Jew.
Well, that's one of the draws for your podcast.
As a fellow member of the tribe, I share your obsession with other Jews.
I think every Jew loves to hear about other Jews, whether it's show business.
I'm a big sports fan, so I love hearing about Jews in sports.
In fact, I remember my grandmother saying to me,
because she also, like my parents, would be going,
oh, what's that person's name?
Oh, that sounds like they're a Jew.
And my grandmother, she watched some movie with Barry Fitzgerald.
The most Irish actor in history.
Yes.
The most Gentile actor in history yes the most gentile actor in history and then you know
his his way was you know when he talked he sounded like a bad nightclub comedian
doing an irish character because he is
ever see going my way with bing yeah i mean i'm familiar with Barry Fitzgerald. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he was... Right. And my grandmother thought he was so wonderful in that picture.
And she says to me, is he Jewish?
I thought, yeah, not exactly.
So one of your favorite parts of this show is when Gilbert identifies Jews.
Exactly.
And then harps on them with his guests. I mean, there so there's so many elements and i really i've noticed because i've
been listening since day one you're so kind with dick cavett that first episode and so many not a
jew not a jew not a jew and also it's so disappointing when you hear people aren't jewish
yes norman jewison not a jew that's weird that's weird kills me canadian yeah yeah our first jew i
think was larry is Larry Storch Jewish?
Larry Storch is definitely a Jew.
Okay.
So it took us, I think, three shows to get to a Jew.
Yes. Because Gianni Russo, the show two.
Not a Jew.
Not a Jew.
Oh, wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Our first failed one.
Oh, yes.
Erwin Corley.
Erwin Corley.
Yeah.
We didn't post that.
Yeah.
We never posted him.
So we were graded on a two Jew curve.
And I like, I always like to name hot Jew pieces of ass.
Barbara Bach and Olivia Newton-John.
Yasmeen Bleeth, I think.
Yasmeen Bleeth from Baywatch.
Although these days, I think she's gotten to the mess.
Oh, I wouldn't want to see her now.
I think she's dipped into the methamphetamines.
No, I wouldn't want to see her right now.
Don't post this part, Dara.
Too late.
Just kidding.
But, oh, and obvious, open with the Judaism,
but still a hot piece of ass, Natalie Portman.
Yeah.
What about Tova Felcher?
Tova Felcher.
Tony Fields.
She's on my jerk off.
The thing underneath the bed.
I've got Tova Felcher photos.
While we're talking about Jews and good looking ones,
Rachel Brosnahan, Mrs. Maisel, not Jewish.
But how do you feel about a non-Jewish woman
playing a Jewish woman so overtly?
He's in the series. Can he comment? Can you comment on Mrs. Maisel? Yes, I appeared in that. You're in the pilot. But how do you feel about a non-Jewish woman playing a Jewish woman so overtly? Well, he's in the series.
Can he comment?
Can you comment on this?
Yes, I appeared in that.
You're in the pilot.
But how do you feel about that?
Is this like Jew face she's putting on?
Because to me, it's like Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's.
Oh, it's like yellow face.
Yes, yellow face.
Oh, you're offended by that.
I am offended by it.
Give it to a Jewish actress.
I mean, that's a role that should be played by a Jewish woman.
Yes.
She's taking work away from Jews.
Speaking of Jews, as a child, you liked Alan Sherman records, which we just had David Yazbek on the show.
We talked about it.
It's on this week's show, which you haven't heard yet, I'm sure.
But we talked at length about Alan Sherman.
Scarlett Johansson's Hot Jewish Women.
She should be Mrs. Maisel.
He'll make the whole show about this.
Exactly.
About Hot Jewish Women that he wants to...
Lauren Bacall and her day.
Lauren Bacall's Jewish?
Yeah. Pinsky. No kidding.
Isn't that good? I learned something.
So you grew up listening to comedy.
You come from a family of lawyers, no comedians.
Right, exactly. But you know, oh, and I meant to bring
this too. I feel like I've failed you. We'll have to
do another episode. Well, we'll just have to.
Come on back. We know where you live.
Because we've just scraped the surface.
Yeah, but my...
We've already... Time's up.
Yeah. But my... The only
connection that my family has to show business
was my great aunt Sally.
So my grandmother's sister, Sally
Albertson. Does the name Albertson
ring a bell for you? Jack Albertson? Yes,
that's right. Wow. She was married to Jack
Albertson. A Jew. Yeah. She was Jack Albertson. Ring a bell for me. Jack Albertson? Yes, that's right. Wow. She was married to Jack Albertson. Oh.
A Jew.
Yeah.
She was Jack Albertson's first wife.
She was married to the man of Chico and the Man.
Listen to me, Chico and the Man.
Chico and the Man.
Oh, my God.
Grandpa Joe and Charlie.
And let's not forget Willy Wonka and the Trouble Factory.
And he's in the Poseidon Adventure.
He was a lengthy career.
He worked about three times with Martin Sheen.
We have to get Martin Sheen on to talk about Jack.
He worked in, the subject was roses.
Very good.
He did an episode of Bracken's World.
There you go.
Look that one up.
And that one, and the episode episode I remember the name of.
It was called My Father Never Spanked Me.
And he did a religious, an appearance on a religious show called Insights where Jack Albertson amazingly played a Jew.
The power of your recall could like fuel Times Square.
Can you give him some freelance research work on HQ trivia?
How is this?
That brain of yours, the folds of your brain.
If you don't fucking need to know it, I know it.
But you didn't know that Jack Albertson was married to Sally Regan Street.
Didn't know that.
That was the first thing I learned.
Had you ever met the man?
No.
Well, he died, I don't know, in the 80s?
Yeah, probably before you came along but but you know and they were they were split up you know
before he got famous really he was still like a vaudeville actor but they remain friends and i
have a scrapbook my my great aunt sally died 15 years ago so i'm sorry about that but um but
there's a scrapbook that she left with signed photos from Phil Silvers, personalized to Sally, Jack Guilford.
Wow.
George Jessel's first wife, we're friends,
Laurie Andrews, and there's this...
Does that mean anything to you, Mr. Jessel?
Oh.
Jory.
No, hello, Mama.
Hello, Mama, this is your son.
Your son, George.
The one that sends you checks every week.
Yes, that's right.
So, so,
Mama. It's Professor Zoidberg.
Yes, sir. Which it is Professor Zoidberg.
That's where he got it. So, Mama, are you,
how's your eyesight, darling?
Are you seeing spots before
your eyes? Well, why don't you put on
your glasses? Oh, now you see
the spots more clearly.
That was our comedy interlude.
With your impressions of old Groucho.
I mean, you just hooked me.
We do a show like no other show, don't we?
It's the best thing going. But I've noticed an evolution
in the show, too, because, you know,
you've got, what, 243 episodes now?
Coming up on 250.
So you've evolved.
There was that clubhouse feel at the beginning when you had your friends on a lot of times, 243 episodes now? Coming up on 250. 250. You know, so you've evolved because like there was
that clubhouse feel
at the beginning
when you had your friends
on a lot of times,
too,
Drew Freeman,
Richard Kind,
and Bjarke.
Bjarke, yeah.
And you had Persky
and like you get together
and Schaefer
and like,
you know,
all the stories,
Romero.
Right.
And Danny Thomas
and Forrest Tucker,
Milton Berle,
the big,
but that's,
you know,
you sort of,
you haven't referenced
that lately.
No,
about 200 shows in
we started to turn
into broadcasters.
Yeah,
you started to turn it around. No, about 200 shows in, we started to turn into broadcasters.
Yeah, you started to turn it around.
Well, we did later on start bringing in the cunnilingus chimps.
Uh-huh.
That's supplanted.
Yes, the cunnilingus chimps.
That's a recurring game.
And, yeah.
And there's, what's the latest obsession now?
I mean, there's, well, Pat McCormick's sort of grown the helicopter story.
The helicopter story.
Well, we got to a point where we really, you start getting serious actors on the show.
You start getting the Barbara Barrys and the Lee Grants and the Emmett Walshes.
And you actually have to interview these people.
You can interview every week.
It can't be us talking about Caesar, Romero, and oranges.
Orange wedgies.
Yeah.
But whenever you introduce that, it's like Tippi Hedren or something.
Whenever you had someone and you'd sort of broach the old...
Oh, he did it with Frankie Avalon, with Lee Merriweather, anybody that ever worked with Cesar Romero.
Austin Pendleton just made it alive out of this room.
He worked with Cesar Romero in Skidoo.
The man next to me did not bring up orange wedgies once.
That's progress.
That's growth, Gilbert.
Yes.
Personal growth. Now, when Jack Albertson was doing Chico and the Man, you know, of course.
Because Chico needed the money.
That's why he was doing it.
Chico and the Man.
Chico needed the money.
And so, of course, Freddie Prinze shot himself.
Of course, like we all knew he would.
Of course, Freddie Prinze shot himself.
Of course, like we all know he would.
And because Chico, Chico, actually.
Chico, I'm saying it in the Marx Brothers way. I did it too.
I did it too.
Because Chico in Spanish means boy, they kept the title Chico and the Man
because they got a young boy.
And they said, see, it's a boy and a man there's
nothing sadder than when a sitcom has to move on without the star oh like the sanford arms oh my
god they did a sanford and son show after red fox quit tried to maintain it by keeping the name
put the secondary characters like grady and roscoe and and i't think DeMond Wilson was I don't think he was on it.
They all give them
bigger parts
which never worked.
I think Ann Esther
was on it.
Anyway, let's talk
about Scott Rogowski.
Well, that's boring.
No, let's talk
about Sanford Arms.
Yeah.
Why don't they reboot
Chico and the Man
with Freddie Prinze Jr.
As a thought.
And Wilford Brimley.
Excellent.
Wilford Brimley. Excellent. Wilford Brimley.
Excellent.
I mean, as the name,
wouldn't that be good?
We gotta get Wilford.
Or Austin Pendleton.
Or is Freddie Prinze Jr.
too well?
Could he be the man
at this point?
Or a feature,
Chico and the Man
the Motion Picture.
There you go.
We have to get
Wilford Brimley
on this podcast.
Yeah.
Before his diabetes gets him.
Yes, I was gonna say.
Wilford Brimley.
His diabetes.
Darragh Cole, Wilford Brimley.
We could pay him off in insulin.
Or just brand flakes.
Let's talk to you about how you got into comedy.
You were a child.
You listened to this stuff as a kid.
It's the right way to live.
You grew up listening to comedy albums.
As you explained, no other showbiz in the family other than your late aunt.
Right.
Who, you know, was a showbiz at Jay's.
I mean, she was doing local theater and things, but she was friends with all these people.
But so, yeah, no real model to look at other than the things I grew up listening to.
And, yeah, we had some Alan Sherman records in the house.
Weird Al.
Right.
Weird Al, yes.
One of my all-time heroes growing up.
Even Adam Sandler's tapes and his, their cassettes, his comedy albums.
All of it.
I just soaked it all up.
I mean,
my kindergarten teacher said I was a sponge
in her report.
Mostly,
you know,
for other things,
but really,
the sponge worked with comedy
as well as academics.
And I just,
When did you become aware
of this person
as a performer?
It has to be Aladdin.
Was it Aladdin?
Yeah.
I mean,
that was,
you know,
even before you saw
his standup or you, yeah, I was a you know, even before you saw his standup or you,
yeah,
I was a little,
you know,
well,
his standup was not being featured much at the age of five.
No problem child.
I saw that.
It's one of the few movies that my dad,
we left the theater early on that one.
He pulled me out of that one.
That was too.
So did Larry and Scott. It was so bad. We left early on that one. Probably the me out of that one. That was too weird. So did the writers. It was so bad. So did Larry and Scott.
It was so bad
we left early on that one.
Probably the only movie
I ever left early.
One of the writers,
our friend Scott Alexander,
claims he cried
at the 21st
Super Bowl of Child.
And the weird thing,
every single critic
in the world
put it on their worst,
top 10 worst movies of the year and they made three
of them oh yeah it made a fortune and an animated series oh god and gilbert's the only constant
well of course because what wouldn't you do for a paycheck yeah
you would do sanford arms he's gonna bring back san Sanford Arms. Gilbert and Roscoe.
I mean, I'd say Gilbert would attend your grandma's funeral dressed as a clown for $1,000.
He'd do anything.
Oh, he'd do it.
For $1,000.
He'd do it for less.
He'd do it for some, you know, craft services.
Yeah.
Bless his heart.
For the shivik.
So how about, so how did you get into comp?
You should do celebrity shivik calls.
That's my pitch to you.
I see
I had an idea
Dara's lighting up here
let me tell you an idea
it's funny you should say that
I want to do a show
called celebrity funeral
I love it
and celebrity
we'd have a different celebrity
screw game night
each week
and we'd set up their funeral
Hollywood funeral.
This is like your Hogan's Heroes bit.
The executive says, I love it.
Give me 26.
But if you just pop into a shiva and you're like, what was Gilbert Gottfried?
How did Sheila know Gilbert Gottfried?
You just don't even explain anything.
You just, you pray, you daven, and then you leave and you take some white fish in your...
Are you getting, speaking of this kind of fame I'm getting those kind of
are you getting bar mitzvah requests
oh I got plenty of bar mitzvah requests
since your new found fame
have you done bar mitzvahs
uh no
I don't think
I don't think
I may have
yeah Max's is coming up
I may have
I may have done one years ago
I did
I've done several
I sort of had to put the kibosh on it
because there's too many
you do one
and then everyone in Long Island wants you
you were doing them as a stand up
no I was doing them now as an HQ
doing trivia. I never did it as a stand-up. No, really?
The HQ thing blew me open. I can't
get the bar mitzvahs. They say I'm
too Jew-y.
Will Max have a bar mitzvah,
Dara? Well, you can play that one, Gil.
Yeah. You can hire me.
You can play Lily's
bat mitzvah. Oh, God.
See, now, bas mitzvahs among the Jews,
that's when a Jew really wants to show off.
Because I don't think it means anything.
No, it is just a status symbol at the most,
especially these Long Island bar mitzvahs.
I mean, I'm telling you, I did a bar mitzvah this past year
in Westbury or something, at one of those big gigantic theaters
they had the kid
coming in
from the ceiling
on a
you know
harness
flying in
they had a
$250,000
Lamborghini
Formula 1 thing
just sitting there
for people to take
photos with
I was like
you know
the basketball
sitting net
you know
that they set up
that was one
of the side attractions
the kid flew in
in his own
bar mitzvah on a harness was he own bar mitzvah was he sandy duncan and peter pan i mean it was
bizarre yeah it was just like lights and smoke and and music i mean they must have spent a half
a million dollars on so they threw you a couple of bucks they threw me a couple bucks to you know
entertain you during cocktail hour yeah and i you know go in and out and it's you know it's not a
bad it's not a bad way to make a living but you gotta it is the depressing one like you know they'd rather play air hockey than
listen to what you're doing we will return to gilbert godfrey's amazing colossal podcast after
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Well, tell us, and I'll cut to the chase here, but before HQ Trivia came into your life...
So I was doing, you know, I...
You were doing things.
I was doing things.
You had a YouTube video that went viral. Doing stand-up, doing some videos.
But I was ready to leave New York and move to LA.
I believe you and I were walking on the Upper East Side from David Feldman's apartment.
And you said, I think I had enough of this.
I'm going west.
I said, if David Feldman can't make it in New York.
And then everything changed.
Yeah.
Do you remember that day?
I remember that day.
I do.
You guys were doing your thing yeah and um i thought i gotta move to la to to try to make it work in a different
city because i had read phil hartman's biography uh-huh and and um i forgot who wrote it but uh
he mentioned that phil had been you know struggling himself doing a lot of he was doing the album
covers doing graphic graphic artists but as a, he wasn't really cracking it.
And then him and Paul Rubens, they all got together, the Pee Wee guys,
and they were like, you know, we got this great show concept,
but no one's given us a show.
Let's put it on ourselves.
So they rented a theater in LA for three months and put on Pee Wee's Playhouse
just themselves.
They did it themselves, paid each other the receipts from the gate,
and HBO saw it and gave them the show. Sucker Brothers, too. They did it themselves. Pay each other, you know, the receipts from the gate. And HBO saw it and gave them the show.
Zucker Brothers, too.
They created Kentucky Fried Theater.
Kentucky Fried Theater.
So you've got to do it yourself.
You've got to be a self-star, which is what I did with Running Late, my talk show that Alex produces with me.
And I've been doing that for seven years in New York.
And I thought, you know what else Pee Wee Herman's famous for?
Being Jewish?
No, being angry.
Jerking off in a movie theater.
There you go.
Yeah.
You're just resentful because of all the
movie theaters you've jerked off in. And you never got
caught. Without any notoriety whatsoever.
The jerky
awards haven't... Yeah, I go in,
I jerk off in a theater,
nothing. No press.
And he doesn't mean problem child.
He doesn't mean on
screen.
So you had done a couple of running late shows in L.A.
They had done well.
Yeah.
And this gave you reason to think maybe things would be a little rosier in L.A.
I should go directly to the source of the business.
And do it weekly there and really build it up, kind of what the Pee Wee guys did.
And hopefully someone would notice you.
I mean, I still have this romantic notion that Lorne Michaels is going to walk in and cast you.
But I don't think that happens much.
All these agents send their junior agents and their assistants of course things but
you know i think these days you got to have like a hundred thousand instagram followers for anyone
to give a shit but you had a here's here's something that i think about a lot now is like
with all the agents and managers and stuff i think nowadays you'd have to get one who's like five years old
right to know what's going on i mean these these agents now are like oh you know maybe we can get
you on the johnny carson show yeah i was signed with jack rollins uh when he turned 99 he signed
me are you serious no No, no, no.
Oh, that would have been great.
I would have loved that.
That's what I wanted.
I wanted someone like that.
You wanted the old guy, the old Menchie.
Yeah, the old...
Right.
I can get you into Vaudeville.
Yeah.
Jack Rollins.
I'll get you to the palace.
The Pantages.
We missed out on Jack Rollins.
Oh, man.
So you get this audition one day.
I got the audition.
And just as I literally, I gave up my apartment,
like May 1st, I gave it, you know, but I auditioned in April for this thing.
And then like May 15th, I got a call saying, hey, you got it.
You got HQ.
So then I had already given my apartment up.
I moved back home to my parents for a few months.
It happens that way.
It happens that way.
But I ended up doing this HQ thing, which I did six weeks.
They signed me in front of the six weeks.
And then I got two years.
And now a year of that is over.
So I'm looking down my last year here at HQ.
And it took off.
Well, yeah, it took off in a huge, huge way.
And suddenly you're on talk shows.
Suddenly you're on Colbert.
You're on the Today Show.
You're on Kelly and Ryan.
Yeah, it's wild.
There's Scott Rogowski.
I know.
Overnight celebrity.
Yeah, but it took 12 years to get there.
Usually does.
Usually does.
But it's been the craziest years of my life.
I mean, Time Magazine called me one of the five faces of the year time out new york new yorker of the year you can't even turn off in a movie theater i can't you know what they mean
when they said new yorker yeah it was it was there's three parentheses around yeah
but you know but it's funny you say i can't check off the theaters because truly
what i can't do anymore is be a slob in public which is what i used to do because people know
you because i'm i was sitting in an airport once you know i had this big hamburger and it was just
all over my face and all of my hands because i didn't give a shit and then i look up but someone's
filming me was that the first time you were recognized no but it was like i realized like
oh god i gotta I gotta clean up
my act a little bit. Right, but you'd be out to dinner
and somebody would come over and
take a knee. Yeah, you know,
you get that and it's usually nice
but then I was watching Annie Hall again
last night and that scene with those
two bozos when he's outside the theater
is one of the fun, one of the funny
I'll be singing over here. Yeah,
but it starts off with, hey, are you on television?
I mean, they have no idea who he is.
I'm the Johnny Carson.
The Johnny Carson.
Yeah, you know, occasionally, you know.
Hey, one of them was named Cheech.
Yeah.
Talking to two guys named Cheech.
What, is it the meat of the Teamsters?
You know what's funny about that scene?
He says, when Diane Keaton shows up, she says, you're just going to have to deal with it.
He says, deal with it.
I'm dealing with the cast
of The Godfather.
Yeah.
One of those guys
is in The Godfather.
No way.
Yeah, he's in the,
I can't remember the scene
he's in.
The guy that says,
this is Albie Singer.
He's in The Godfather.
But that's just so,
because they start off,
they start off,
so is she, by the way.
Yeah.
But I love the interaction
and what he gets so perfect
because it's like,
they start off having
no idea who he is. Yeah. No, because the other guy, hey, you know, and then, oh, by the way. Yeah. But I love the interaction and what he gets so perfect because it's like, they start off having no idea who he is.
Yeah.
No, because the other guy, hey, you know, and then, oh, I'll be single.
He's on TV.
I mean, this happened the other night.
Someone's like, wait, who are you?
You know who this is, right?
One friend goes and the guy's no idea.
Oh, it's the HQ guy.
Oh, the HQ guy.
Can I get a photo?
It's like, one minute you know who I am.
The next you want my photo.
It's like, just get out of here.
What is this mattress story that happened?
The mattress story?
This is kind of funny.
Yeah.
I wish you weren't jerking off on the mattress.
You're on a one-track mind.
Yeah.
What happened?
Your ex-roommate?
Yeah, my old roommate, Russ, Rusty,
I moved out of my place because, you know,
I gave up the apartment.
That's where I was.
But I left my mattress there because I'm not going to pay for storage,
and I don't want to hire some guy to move it.
So I said, listen, I'll deal with this later.
I'll figure out a way to get rid of it.
Just kind of leave it at the apartment until I figure it out.
Ends up being there for like four or five months.
And in the meantime, Rush is like, look, I'm getting rid of this my own way.
He puts it on Craigslist.
After HQ got big
he goes
to buy Scott Rakowski's
former mattress
$600
he was trying to sell
the HQ guy's mattress
and he wrote a whole
description about it
on Craigslist
I ended up having to
buy it back for myself
just to get it off the website
and I
Hilarious
See what Gilbert doesn't know
is I fish his old
Perrier bottles
out of the trash
after we record it.
And they're on eBay.
Yeah, there you go.
Gilbert Gottfried drank from this.
It's a little side business I have going.
Who bought the mattress?
I had to take it.
Oh, you took it back.
I'm sorry.
I took it back.
No one was going to buy that thing.
But then Colbert put it, he mentioned it on.
This may be an awkward question, but with this sort of newfound celebrity uh fan mail
from a lot of ladies a little a lot of lonely men who want my autograph because i have a baseball
card too yeah you know this is something we got to talk to you if you don't have one already did
you get a card from tops did you ever get used to work for top yeah and they never gave me a
baseball card so tops they have a series called Allen and Gidder,
which harkens back to like a 19th century brand.
Son of a bitch.
When they would do, you know, world figures.
They had boxers.
They had actors.
So this is a...
That's great.
You don't have to be a baseball player anymore to have a baseball card.
And they gave me one.
And now people send it to me in the mail to get it signed.
Someone sent me cards of me one time.
You got a card?
Yeah.
And they gave me like a bunch of them.
That's great, Scott.
And I had to sign, I don't know, like a hundred cards.
They'll pay you for your image.
And then, yeah, you're into this.
Dara, look into that.
And then people will, you did it already?
Maybe you did it already.
Yeah.
I worked for Topps for years.
Oh, my gosh.
I had no idea that existed.
One Whitehall.
Were you down in that office?
No, I used to work in Brooklyn and Brookhook.
Wow.
The ladies with the hairnets.
Cyberg was still around?
Cyberg.
It was like being.
Oh, my God.
That's a whole other mini episode.
Oh, yeah.
We got to do that.
We'll talk about that.
Drew Friedman was there.
Oh, my goodness.
You got to meet Joe Biden.
I mean, all of a sudden.
Joe Biden.
All of a sudden, you're a celebrity.
And then Robert De Niro comes on HQ.
Yeah.
And The Rock.
And Jimmy Kimmel's guest hosting for you.
Jimmy Kimmel, Neil Patrick Harris the other day.
We had so many celebrity hosts.
We were just doing the new stuff.
Ice Cube, Kevin Hart, Lakeith Stanfield was a great actor.
But to your credit, the fans get a little testy when you're not hosting.
Yeah.
They post things like Free Scott.
Do I have that right?
The Free Scott.
Yeah.
There was an incident that sort of went viral back last November
and it started a Free Scott campaign, which was weird.
But that was a strange time to be,
I mean, every day, a new article coming out,
people recognizing it.
I mean, that's virality in this era.
It's just-
What did Biden say when he met you?
You're the viral guy?
Yeah, this guy's viral.
He's looking around.
Roger Goodell's standing there.
How bizarre.
Every owner of the NFL.
I was at a Super Bowl party.
So every, I I mean it was like
the most billionaire
sitting around
in the same room
and Joe Biden's
looking around
this guy's going viral
Mandy Moore was there
celebrity's a strange
strange animal
it is a strange thing
and you just can't let it
you know
you can't let it get to yourself
because
the way it's gotten to Gilbert
right
he thinks who he is
so
now now here's here's I mean I'm sure you you know there's so many of these
stories i used to hear like on the murph griffin show whatever and and i always thought they were
bullshit stories until you experience them right and like one of them is the hey didn't you used to be oh yeah which i'm getting now even
though this thing's only a year and a half old hey you still host an hq do you still you used
to be you still yeah i'm still doing it i gotta do it tonight it's like it's been and you're still
doing it but i'm telling you that's what how fast our society moves now. I know. I'm a nostalgic act already. I was co-headlining with Dave Coulier at a college gig.
You know, he's just, I mean, that show's 30 years old.
My thing's a year old, and I'm already, the two of us are doing the nostalgic circuit.
That's great.
You'll be opening for Pat Cooper any day now.
Talk about, tell us a little bit about uh running late which is the show
gilbert and i have been on twice because before hq came into your life right that was my you were
you had aspirations to be a talk show host yes you still do gilbert aspires to masturbate in public
i aspire i aspire to be a talk show host i've understand. I've achieved my goal.
Catch up, buddy.
On the M59 bus just last week.
Yeah, I've been doing
Running Late since 2011,
which is starting to seem
like a long time ago now.
And it's a live talk show
I do in the city
with my dad as the sidekick.
Your dad, Marty.
My dad, Marty.
Wonderful guy.
How did your dad happen
to become the sidekick?
Because he works for free.
No, no one else is willing to do it.
It's such a novelty to have your dad as a sidekick.
Yeah, you know, he's sort of familially obligated to do it.
And I have my aunt or uncle fill in when he can't make it, keep it in the family.
But, you know, it's a chance for him to see me, too, because he comes in from Westchester.
And now we're going weekly with it, starting in February.
Where are you going to do it?
At Subculture.
Oh, great.
Which is a great venue on Bleecker and Lafayette.
Wonderful.
And maybe we might even have it televised and distributed.
We're still working out all that.
But in the meantime, it'll be a live show Thursday night at 1030, a real late night slot.
Will Mr. Brazell be involved?
He will definitely be involved.
Oh, Alex, we love you.
Yeah, and we'll have you guys back on that, too,
because you're always reliable.
Gee, I'm sorry.
I'm kind of busy.
We try.
We love to, but things are blowing up.
Had you asked me a week ago, I could have cleared stuff up,
but now I'm...
You ever use a...
Oh, what is it?
May 16th?
Oh, I've got a funeral that day.
Yeah.
My uncle told me a story where he was trying to go on a date
with a woman a couple weeks out, and she told me she had a funeral that day. Yeah. My uncle told me a story where he was trying to go on a date with a woman a couple weeks out
and she told me she had a funeral to go to.
Who?
These funerals don't happen weeks out.
She was planning one.
Yeah.
She had one in the works.
Tell us some of the people
who've been on.
Our friend Richard Kind.
Our friend Greg Bjerko.
So many crossover guests with you guys.
And people we don't know.
And people you haven't been able to book.
That's right.
John Hamm.
John Oliver. We haven't tried for to book. John Hamm. John Oliver.
We haven't tried for John Hamm.
Paul Rudd.
No!
Paul Rudd's a friend of Gilbert's.
I go for people who still have a heartbeat in a normal range.
Oh, what's that about?
They're not on like a core egg or hypertension medication.
My guests are usually under 50.
Although you've had Kevin and Dan Rather.
Yes, Dan Rather. had Kevin and Dan Rather. Yes, Dan Rather.
You should have Dan Rather.
Oh.
Trying to fit Dan Rather going to hit the sweet spot for this show?
He's sort of not really an entertainment figure.
But he was on television for 40 years.
That's true.
We can talk about the JFK assassination.
And he's got his own interview show on AXS TV now.
I think we might try to get Dan Rather.
I think you should.
We're trying to get Douglas Fairbank.
Douglas Brinkley.
Eric Severide.
Who else have you had? I mean, yeah. Douglas Brinkley. Eric Severide. Who else have you had?
I mean, yeah.
Geez.
John Oliver.
Amy Sedaris.
Chris Elliott.
Chris Elliott.
Oh, the Elliott family.
I was the first person to have.
I had Chris Elliott, his daughters Abby and Bridie together on the same show.
We should do a Father's Day show.
Yeah.
We had the Cogans.
That was cool.
We loved having the Cogans.
But I've had Anna Quinlan, the author.
Sure.
I've had sex bloggers, which I'm sure you'd love to have.
Yes.
On this show.
I think there was one on the night we were on at the Gramercy Theater.
Possibly, yes.
Carly Shortino.
Shared the dais with us.
But I mean, I try to, like Desus and Mero and the Broad City Girls and the high maintenance
creators, Ben and Katya.
I try to get the up and coming.
We know nothing about that. The vanguard of comedy entertainment.
But I love talking to people.
Larry Storch is up and coming for us.
But some of my favorite.
These kids and their talking movies.
I love having the Alan's Y Bell.
Oh yeah.
And our pal Richard Kine. Richard Kine is one of my favorite guests ever. We love Richard to death. I love having the Alan's Y Bell oh yeah and yeah I mean
and our pal Richard Kine
Richard Kine's one of my
favorite guests ever
we love Richard to death
oh my gosh
he's been such a help
to this show
and I had out in LA
thanks to you guys
Dick Gutman
oh my god
I had Starflacker
tell us about Dick Gutman
Dick Gutman
and you know
Bruce White
who's a character actor
sure
Hill Street Blues
who was another
okay I should say
not related to me
but his mother
and my grandmother
were best friends
love it
and so Bruce White
is a family friend
and yeah
Hill Street Blues
now Bruce White
also
you know
they had the movie
with
Star 80
yeah
I know where he's going
I always know where he's going
yeah
Eric
Eric Roberts
you're talking about
the TV version
with Jamie Lee Curtis. Yes.
And Bruce White played
the Schneider. He played
the Eric Roberts role.
Yeah, the crazy boyfriend
movie of Dorothy
Stratton. Good actor.
Yeah. And he was
in a show that was a big, had a
big network. He's a Jew. Mothering me
or something. Hey, don't talk over me.
Bruce Weitz is a Jew.
He's definitely a Jew.
And his mother, Sybil, was a...
Now you can go ahead
with your bullshit.
Tell us an anecdote about having
somebody on the show. A fun anecdote.
Anything about Richard? We love Richard.
Oh, Richard. I mean, Richard...
I saw the one with Bjerko and Jon Hamm
I thought that was
One of your best shows
That was a great show
And Jon
And Jon Benjamin
Benjamin
It was funny as hell
So funny
We'll get Jon Benjamin here
And then you'll eat your words
You definitely should get
Jon Benjamin
Yeah
He's under 60
And we had Jon Katz
We had Jon Katz
Yeah Jon Katz
He's back in Boston
But Richard Kind
I mean I asked him
I said Richard have you
You know he was doing Second City, of
course, back in the day.
And I said, you know, a lot of his, Julia Lee Dreyfuss, Brad Hall, a lot of his castmates
went on to do SNL.
And I said, Richard, have you ever, did you ever consider doing SNL or auditioning for
it?
And he's like, you know, that's a very good question that I'd be happy to answer on a
different show.
I don't think anyone ever asked him that, but you know.
We love him to death.
He's like my Orson Bean, I told him.
He wants to be our Tony Randall on the podcast. We were interviewing
Mario Cantone.
Oh, he's the one I need to get.
And Richard Kind
was calling from a plane.
Did you hear the Mario Christmas show this year?
I missed this.
You got to get on it.
So I got into a big yelling match with Mario about sucking cock and whose cock would he suck and blah, blah, blah.
And all of this while, Richard Kind is on a plane and he panics because it's so loud.
He was supposed to call in from a plane. How does he do that?
Because the timing didn't work out.
He was supposed to call in to argue with Mario
about which cocks he wants to sell.
No, about a Rankin-Bass Mr. Magoo's
Christmas special. So Richard
Kine panics and he turns
to the guy next to him and
he says, did
you hear that? And
the guy says, the guy in the bathroom in the back of the plane heard that.
Poor Richard.
If we could plug Richard, Big Mouth.
Have you seen Big Mouth on Netflix?
No.
This is the funniest show out there.
I don't know if you call it TV, whatever it is, but Netflix.
I wasn't even aware of it.
There are two seasons of it created by Nick Kroll and John Mulaney.
I know they're too young for you to relate.
We know who they are.
But Richard Kind plays the father of John Mulaney's character, and he is the star of the show, I think.
He steals it.
He is so-
He's great in everything.
You see him in the Coen Brothers picture?
So fun.
Oh, yeah.
In The Serious Man?
The Serious Man.
But this is an animated show.
This is voice acting, and it is just hysterical.
He's a funniest.
So check out Big Mouth on Netflix.
I love how he says here, he says, ah, you can't really book me.
Don't call me.
Just if somebody drops out, call me at a minute's notice.
I'll come and do the show.
But you can't plan on having me.
It's hilarious.
I love Rich.
I saw him at a Mets game holding these bags.
It looks like he's homeless walking around like holding these bags.
You and Gilbert are like the homeless celebrities of New York.
We'll play the Collier Brothers.
Richard and Gilbert in a TV movie.
The funny thing is, it's like, you know, I'm known for going into places
and I'll take Kansas soda and chocolate and everything like that
from like places I work at and I'll fill my my bag with it and a couple of times when people
have caught me i said yeah i'm a big snorer i like and and uh they would oh they about four places
said to me oh well you've got nothing on richard kind they say you're strictly in the amateur leagues.
You should team up.
This may be the last time
Richard does the show.
At this point,
his last appearance
may be his farewell.
He's going to be
my favorite person
on this planet,
Richard Kind.
We love him to death.
And you know,
every show,
he's like shot
out of a Roman candle.
He gives us a great show.
He's argumentative.
His opinions are so strong.
He's the perfect talk show guest.
And I cannot understand for the life of me why he doesn't, why, you know, it's Fallon
and Myers don't bend over backwards to have him on.
And every time, you know, doing a show like this, sometimes you get tired and you get
worn out and your confidence flags.
And then there's that email from Richard every six weeks out of the blue telling us how the
show is changing his life and
this is great and I love this one.
And he's helping his book. He's brought
us people. He's really been a
godsend. He's terrific. Yeah, we adore him.
Last thing, what's going to happen
now? You're going to start doing these weekly?
Yeah, well, you're running late. Yeah.
Weekly starting February 21st. We have
our first show scheduled with Katie Turr,
MSNBC anchor. Sure know who she is. We try to go beyond just showbiz. Of course. Incorporate, like, February 21st. We have our first show scheduled with Katie Turr, MSNBC. Sure know who she is.
You know, we try to go beyond just showbiz.
Of course.
Incorporate, like I said, authors.
You're a man of many interests.
Yeah, if you're interesting, I want to talk to you.
That's sort of the metric.
And musicians and comedians.
So we'll definitely have you back.
But yeah, Subcultures, Thursday nights, check it out.
We're going to be doing this weekly and really building up.
You know, we want to create a scene here.
Did you tell Cavett that you've learned, because I know he's an influence as far as a talk show host. Did you tell him you learned from him? We're going to be doing this weekly and really building up. We want to create a scene here.
Did you tell Cavett that you've learned?
Because I know he's an influence as far as a talk show host.
Did you tell him you learned from him?
Oh, gosh.
I mean, Cavett, I'm on Running Late twice.
And that was one of my favorite jokes I've ever told to a guest.
Because I said this was true.
I had an ex-girlfriend who, for my birthday, paid $150, actually $300 for the two of us,
to see Woody Allen play at the Carlisle Hotel.
You know, he does his jazz.
Sure, sure.
And I just wanted to be in the room with Woody Allen.
He's such a huge fan.
And so I said to Dick Cavill, and I had him, I said, you know, my ex-girlfriend paid $300 for us to see Woody Allen.
I'm just curious, how much does Woody charge you to hang out?
And I thought that was one of my better quips.
And I made Dick Cabot genuinely laugh.
That's it.
Good for you.
Good for you.
That's an accomplishment.
That was nice to see.
And before we go, I also want to, I noticed in doing a little research that you did a shout out to Gilbert.
You were on a YouTube, you were being quizzed about classic game shows.
And somebody asked you a question about Hollywood Squares.
Does this ring a bell?
You fool.
Yes.
Oh, that's classic.
There was a nice Gilbert shout out.
And we've had Gilbert shout outs at HQ.
And actually, I wanted to maybe ask you guys some of the questions we've asked on HQ.
Are you ready for that?
You know what I think?
Hey, Alex, do we have time to do a second one of these?
He's got to go. Right now?
Okay, go ahead. Three questions.
We could do another one.
We'll do another show down the road.
This will be a preview.
These are some questions that we've actually asked on HQ.
I also wrote my own. Maybe we'll do that one another time.
Let's start
somewhat easy like HQ and get a little harder
so here's here's one what monster role other than frankenstein's monster was boris carlo famous for
playing the mummy there you go i don't have to give you the options okay alfred hitchcock earned
a best director oscar nomination for which of these movies vertigo north by northwest or rear
window uh rear window correct gilgirch only one of his movies ever won best picture yeah rebecca Northwest or Rear Window? Rear Window. Correct. Gilbert. Fuck. Okay.
Only one of his movies ever won Best Picture.
Yeah. Rebecca. Rebecca.
Here's one that
name checks. Gilbert, what classic
comedian voices the seagull Scuttle
in Disney's The Little Mermaid? Gilbert
Godfrey, Buddy Hackett, or Rip Taylor?
Buddy Hackett? It's Buddy
Hackett. Gilbert, you're on a roll.
I know. Should we do a real hard one here?
Yeah.
Is there a cash payoff at the end of this?
There should be.
How about this one?
Who is the only actor to win an Oscar for playing a character named Oscar?
Do you need the options?
Okay.
All right, I'll give you three options here.
Okay.
Edmund O'Brien, Charles Lawton, or Melvin Douglas?
options okay edmund o'brien charles lawton or melvin douglas uh edmund o'brien i'm gonna say melvin douglas gilbert is on a roll again edmund o'brien won best supporting actor for oscar
muldoon in 1954 is joseph mankiewicz's which is a barefoot Contessa. Gilbert, did you write these?
These are great.
These are written by the HQ Trivia.
Wow, I'm impressed.
Yeah.
Shout out to our Josiah and all our writers.
Thank you, guys.
So I got 100 on this.
You got 100 of it.
Here, you won my baseball card.
Yes.
I'll even sign it for you.
Wow.
I am so proud.
Nice work, Gil.
Yeah.
He's got to go do HQ Tri trivia, but we will have him back.
We'll do more. I wrote my own trivia based on...
We barely scraped the surface.
Stop stealing my bit.
Can I ask you one that I wrote?
Go ahead.
Okay. This is cool.
Uh-oh.
This is cool.
Uh-oh.
What was the name of the first Ed Sullivan-hosted variety show on CBS?
Talk of the Town. Toast of the Town.
Toast of the Town.
Okay. And the corollary follow-up,
which duo did not appear on the debut of that first Ed Sullivan
program, June 20th, 1948, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Rossi and Martin, or Martin and Lewis?
Rodgers and Hammerstein?
Who did not appear?
Yeah.
That sounds like a safe bet.
Yeah.
Rodgers and Hammerstein.
Rodgers and Hammerstein did.
Rossi and Martin did not.
And Martin and Lewis, that was their big break.
Rossi and Martin didn't start until 57.
Rossi and Allen.
Allen and Rossi.
That's okay.
Rossi and Allen.
I was wondering if it was like if Dean Martin teamed up with Marty Allen at one point.
Rossi and Allen.
These are great.
Allen and Rossi.
Allen and Rossi.
Jeez, I got to...
That's okay.
That first line... By the way, that first... Amend that one. These are great. Allen and Rossi. Allen and Rossi. Jeez, I got to... That's okay. That first line...
By the way, that first...
Amend that one.
That first bill on that first Ed Sullivan show, 1948.
It was a concert pianist, Eugene List,
dancing girls dubbed the Toastettes,
singing New York firemen, John Kokoman,
Rodgers and Hammerstein,
dancer Catherine Lee,
a fight referee named Ruby Goldstein,
and Martin and Lewis. Amazing. How about that? What a bill. What a bill. This is fun. nine dancer katherine lee a fight referee named ruby goldstein and martin and lewis amazing what
a bill boy what a bill this is fun yeah you'll come back you'll ask us more questions we'll do
more stuff i'll i'll do my research that's okay we'll tell more anecdotes you will you'll have
more running late shows to talk about yeah there's always more to talk about and we'll do it again
and maybe a new jew will pop up until by then well you know
aside from barbara bach who was a bun a jew bun girl yeah do you know who the other jew bun girl
was oh god you mentioned this um well denise richards isn't jewish is she no i don't think Pussy Goldfarb? Yeah. No. Jane Seymour.
Oh, yes.
She's a Bond girl.
Yes, he's right.
And there's two Jew Bond villains.
One, of course, Joseph Wiseman.
Dr. No.
Dr. No.
The other one is a weird one.
And that's a black actor, Yafit Kodo, who is, in fact, a Jew.
Wow.
Yeah.
Kananga in Live and Let Die.
Too much information.
I love it.
Throw these into the HQ.
We'll do this.
Too bad you have our permission to use these.
Too bad the HQ demo doesn't quite match up with yours.
What are you trying to say?
I'm just saying.
Gilbert, let's let this man go.
He's got HQ to do.
Tribute to the lover.
Okay.
This has been Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsessions
with someone who I'm still not sure what he actually does for a living.
I host HQ Trivia.
Download it for free on your phone.
Play it every night at 9 p.m.
We give out money to answer questions.
And running late.
And running late.
Scott Radowski.
Radowski.
Close.
You're now Scott Radowski.
Let's scrap the whole thing. Let's just do it again. Scott Radowski. Close. Close. You're now Scott Radowski. Let's scrap the whole thing.
Let's just do it again.
From the top.
From the top.
I got Rossi and Martin.
You're saying Scott Radowski.
Just wipe it clean out.
Delete it.
In the trash can.
In the trash can. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,