Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #207: 250th Episode Call-in Show Spectacular (Part 2)

Episode Date: March 14, 2019

This week: "A Hard Day's Night"! Old Groucho returns! The brilliance of Gary Larson! Orson Welles directs Rich Little! And a caller shares the screen with Alan Ladd! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Buy it today at major retailers. Here we go boys. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried. And this is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Obsessions with my co-host Frank Santopadre. And this is a continuation. We had a full episode where we had people call in. And we had so many people, to our pleasant surprise, calling us that we are doing this mini episode to get them on. Look at this guy. The consummate professional.

Yes. That was great. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, you guys like Jersey? We love Jersey. All right, we're starting a mini episode. This is from my neighborhood now.

Be nice. Here we go. Hello. Hello. Hello there. Hi. Hello there. Yeah, I'm calling from Point Pleasant, New Jersey.

Point Pleasant. Does that mean anything to you, Frankie? Yeah, Point Pleasant. Point Pleasant, New Jersey. Who do we have the honor of talking to? This is Tom. Hi, Tom. How you doing?

You are the first caller on the mini-episode, Colossal Obsessions, which is a carryover from the main 250 that we just did. And thanks for hanging on so long. Oh, you're welcome. I just want to ask Gilbert. I'm 63 years old, so my memory isn't that good, but I remember seeing Gilbert on TV where he had a newspaper stand.

Oh, yes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That was one, yeah. It was what they call a backdoor pilot. That if it did well, they'd make it into a show. We've talked about this a few times.

Norman's Corner. Yep. It was a Cinemax comedy experiment. Yes! I tried watching it on YouTube, and I was reaching for a razor blade ten minutes in. Not good. Yes, and what makes it even weirder is that it was written by Larry David. Oh, really?

Yeah. In his homeless period. Yeah. And I've always told this on this show when they were trying to make Seinfeld into a series. They said, who's going to write it? And they said, Larry David. And a guy at NBC says, isn't he the guy that wrote that piece of shit

for Gilbert Gottfried? The guy was played by Bob Balaban. Yes! Wow! You can see Norman's Corner on YouTube. It's out there. Yeah, or you could... Wow. You can see Norman's Corner on YouTube. It's out there. Yeah, or you could probably buy it for 29 cents. It was in the 80s, right?

We're talking about mid-80s? Yeah, yeah. Mid-80s. Oh, that was a scary one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah, Tom, that is a memory. A few months ago, I guess it was my wife called

Abdoberdu a a shout out to me or he said don't be a fool Billy oh is that the cameo and I what well yeah the cameo I'm doing these things called cameo on cameo.com, I guess. And, yeah. That was from The Far Side. It was a comic, The Far Side. Oh, sure. Where there's two gunfighters, two gunfighters out in the street. They're going to have a gunfight, but one of them has no arms.

So a guy from The Salute is yelling, don't be a fool, dude. Yeah, I do this Cameo shout-out. Gary Larson, Far Side. Gilbert, what's a Cameo cost? Yeah, Gilbert do this cameo shout-out. Gary Larson, Farsighted. Gilbert, what's a cameo cost? Yeah, Gilbert. Yeah. Yeah, what do you charge for a cameo?

That sounds like, how much, what's a henway? What do you take for a haddock? Yeah. Well, sometimes I take aspirin, or sometimes I take a Calamel. Well, I'd walk a mile for it. What's the cost on that? Oh, it's $150. $150.

And I also want to say that for $160, Paul and I will come and clean your kitchen. Absolutely. Similar service. Yeah. Cameo.com. Cameo.com. Tom, thanks for calling. We got a couple other people to jump to.

Okay. Thanks, buddy. We'll see you on the train. Happy birthday, Gilbert. Thank you. Thank you! Thank you. Oh, my goodness. He sounded like a Jew.

Somebody on a cell phone, 917. I can handle this one. It's a shame when you do, Paul Lynn, that people can't see the tremor and the whole motion. I know. The body language. And how I put on a bathrobe. Kids, what you gonna do with these kids tonight? Who's on the line?

Hey, guys. Joe calling from New York City. Joe, did you say? Bill. Oh, Bill. Yes. Hi, Bill. Right here in New York City. Where are you? What street? No, no. You had it right the first time. It's Joe. Oh, Joe from New York City. Joe Bill. You're Bill now. Where are you, Joe? Where are you? What street? No, no. You had it right the first time. It's Joe. Oh, Joe from New York City. Joe Bill. You're Bill now.

Where are you, Joe? Where are you in the city? Up in Inwood. Oh, that's too far. We're going to say come on over. We're going to say bring beer. How you doing, man? I'm doing great.

I wanted to wish Gilbert a happy birthday. Thank you. I love listening to you guys. I would... I call into... I call sick into work a happy birthday. Thank you. I love listening to you guys. I called sick into work a lot more on Monday if I didn't have you guys to listen to. Oh, how nice. What a nice thing to say. Thanks.

Do you have a favorite show? Oh, sure. A favorite guest? Yeah, the first Bill Macy episode. Wasn't that great? Oh, he was hysterical. Oh, yeah. I had never heard of him before that, and with a lot of your guests, that ends up being it.

I get pretty interested in them. I really love all the Jerry Lewis stories. Those are great. Gilbert asked Bill Macy about Tony Curtis, and he said, That motherfucker. Bill was feisty. We loved him. He said a that motherfucker. Bill was feisty. We loved him. He said a thumba. Bill's still with us. He's still

in the casino. He's still out there every day. I'm hoping he shows up for another episode or mini episode. Possibly down the line. I know you guys are Beatles fans. Everyone always talks about Hard Day's Night. I just want to get your thoughts on help. I know that Hard are Beatles fans. Yeah. So everyone always talks about Hard Day's Night.

Just wanted to get your thoughts on Help, because I know that Hard Day's Night is the classic, but Help, I think, gets overlooked in the wake of that. Mr. Gottfried, do you want to take it? Well, without Help, I don't think we would have the monkeys. No, no. It definitely, Help is definitely a pilot for the monkeys. Seems it.

Seems it. Yeah. I like Help, because the songs carry it. It's unfairly compared to Hard Day's Night because nothing could be as good as Hard Day's Night. Yeah. Hard Day's Night's a classic, so Help, in comparison, pales. Yeah. Yeah.

It wasn't as original, and it wasn't fresh anymore. Help was like a mini episode. Yeah. A little bit, but I like it. And you really can't beat those songs. They carry the day. Plus, you have Leo McCurran. Yes.

Sounds great. You know, Richard Lester, who directed both of those movies, is still with us. Oh. And we should try to try. I think he's a hermit. Yeah, he's in his 90s, right? He's in his 90s. I don't think he's given an interview in a long time,

but I think we'll put Gino Salamone on that one. So. Yeah. Thank you, Joe. Both of those movies got 12. Have a good night, guys. Thank you for calling. Thank you.

Thanks for listening to the show. We appreciate it. We appreciate hearing from you. Take care. Have a good night. All right, Mr. Verderosa. Who's next? This is special. I've been saving this one for 41 minutes. I'll bet you have. Have a good night. Alright, Mr. Verderosa. Who's next? This is special. I've been

saving this one for 41 minutes. Dara618. What do you got? Oh, jeez. Oh, jeez. I'm on the spot. Is that Texas? I'm not sure. Dara says it's Texas. Okay, what do we got? Hello there. 618 is Southern Illinois near St. Louis.

You're close, Dara. Four states off. Hello, Southern Illinois. Who are we talking to? This is Eric Ryan. Eric Ryan! Eric Ryan in the flesh! Well, we don't have a bigger fan than Eric Ryan. I cannot

possibly do worse than that drunk Dr. Fred. What the hell was that about? He's my old time favorite guest now. That reminds me of that one time I watched a squirrel bleed out on the streets of New York. Is he a neurologist

you would seek out? Let's not disparage the man's problem. If he would do those bits for me. Eric sends gifts from time to time. Eric sends some orange flavored coffee that we distributed. Oh!

Yes. And Eric is a, you're an attorney, are you not, Eric? That's right. Yes. And we do not have a bigger fan, even Tom Fokiakis, who Eric has befriended on Twitter. You guys have quite a little mafia going. You become like the Sacco and Vanzetti. We do talk, and John is a great guy.

Does Gilbert even know who he is? No. And after you get off the line, he won't know who you are. Well, I want to wish happy birthday to Gilbert, but he's still too young to guest on his own show. Oh, I like that. Thank you. That's very nice.

I wanted to know, please, if you all have seen Orson Welles' The Other Side of the Wind. I have not. Have you, Gil? No. Raybone? Well, I'm not going to give you any spoilers, but it does have a definite special relationship to the podcast because two different actors play the apocalyptic of the Orson Welles character played by John Huston, and they have been podcast guests, Rich Little and Peter Bogdanovich.

I know. I knew one of them was Bogdanovich. There's actual footage of Rich Little that still exists in the picture? Yeah, he was fired off the picture because he couldn't act. Right. They claimed he couldn't act. Famously. And he said he could not get out of gigs in Vegas that he had contracts for,

so the truth is probably somewhere in between. Can you wrap your mind around Orson Welles directing Rich Little? Yeah, because, well, he couldn't afford Frank Orson. Right. David Frye wanted too much money. Eric, we appreciate everything you've done. You tweet all the time. You post about the show.

You've been a loyalist probably from the first show. Yeah, from day one, I found you guys on the internet somehow. Or maybe I listened to Penn Jillette's podcast, and of course,

Gilbert was on there. And maybe there was a reference to Gilbert's own podcast on that. Do you have a favorite episode? Yeah, any time Mario's on, I think the guy is just hilarious. Isn't he?

Yeah. I love the Danny Aiello Washington Bridge story. Danny was funny. Mario sent me a tweet saying, Happy birthday, bitch. There are no two funnier men in the world than Gilbert Gottfried and Mario Cantone. So it's a pleasure. Speaking of Gilbert, I have a question for him.

My comedy idol. What preparation, if any, for the podcast does Gilbert do? It's mostly preparation age, I believe. Yeah. There was an article one time where the reporter watched us interview someone in the podcast. He sat in and he said to Frank, you know, like, what do you do before? And he goes, well, I watch all of every any tape I can get on them. Read any interview, read any books where they talk about them. And then they ask, what about you?

And I said, I think I met him once. His prep is Dara puts him on a forklift, puts him in a cab, and brings him here. And he sits in the chair and he says, who are we interviewing? Yeah. You were on a series? Often he'll say, I have nothing for this person. Which is always very inspiring. Eric, we love

how much you support the show. It means a lot to us. Please keep doing it. Okay, you're welcome, guys. We're going to jump to somebody else. We'll talk to you, buddy. Alright, bye-bye. Alright, this person has been holding, what, for 45 minutes? 46 minutes. Bless you.

Should we just drop it and go to the next person? It's a heresy. Hello, who is patient enough to wait on the line that long? Who are we talking to? This is Mike Erickson from Texas. Ah! Dara didn't guess your area code. Hi, Mike.

We Facebook friends. Your name sounds familiar. Absolutely, we are. Yeah. Mike, I have to ask a personal question since you're in Texas. Did you ever hear of Gilbert and the Dickies Barbecue commercials down there? No, I'm not a native Texan. I've only been here 20 years, so that might be before my time.

No, it was like two years ago. Okay. Clearly an ineffective campaign. Obviously, a lot of people were affected. Proceed. How are you, Mike? Well, I'm great. I'm great.

I'm glad to chat with you guys. Of course. Happy birthday, Gilbert. Oh, thank you. I did have a question. Now, I'll tell a story. About a year and a half ago, I took my dad to see your show in Dallas. Uh-oh.

At the book depository? No, no. Dallas. Uh-oh. At the book depository? No, no. But in what was both my proudest and most embarrassing moment, after the show, we were chatting with Gilbert, and my dad proceeds to do his Gilbert Gottfried impression

in front of Gilbert. How was it? How was his impression? Not great. Bill, it's flattering, Gilbert, right? Yeah, it is flattering. Imitation, the most sincere form of flattery? Yeah, it's very flattering.

So I guess I'm being flattered by the new Aflac commercials. I wouldn't go that far. Do you have a favorite guest on the show? I did like, well, now it's fallen out of my brain. I loved Bob Einstein, of course. Wasn't he great? Yeah, I think about that when I'm sad.

I kind of tell the sink joke to myself and feel better. There's a clip of him telling that joke to Jerry Seinfeld on YouTube. Oh, yes, I've seen it. Yes. And I have sent that to many friends. Yes. Okay, well, I just, that's about, oh, my question, I forgot. Yeah.

Gilbert, who do you think does the best impression of you, besides my dad? Oh, well, he's up there. What's your dad's name? My dad's name is John. John Erickson. John Erickson does an excellent Gilbert job. Who does you? The famous Gilbert?

Our friend Barry Letty does you pretty well. Yeah, and Jimmy Fallon does it good. Jimmy Fallon, that's right, Jimmy Fallon. He does and jimmy fallon jimmy fallon that's right jimmy does a very good one jimmy fallon yes that's true see if you can find a jimmy fallon i once i once was at a party before he was known as a murderer i i ran into oj simpson who did i wish i had that on tape. OJ Simpson did an impression of him? Did an imitation of him. Now it would be like having a tape of Charles Manson. Absolutely.

Charles Whitman. That could be enough to reopen the case right there. Mike, thanks for calling, and thanks for waiting on Holes So Long. You're a patient man, and we appreciate it. All right, guys. Thank you. I love the Listener Society. Isn't it great? As well as the show. Thank you, man. Oh, it. Alright guys, thank you. I love the Listener Society. As well as the show.

Oh, it's so much fun. Yeah, Eric Fusco and Rob Smentek. Thank you, man. That's a joy every day. We'll hear from you soon. Okay, we're going to jump to another one as time dwindles down. We're going to go to the land of my in-laws and warm up some stuffed quahogs

and we're going to talk to the land of my in-laws and warm up some stuffed quahogs, and we're going to talk to Massachusetts. Massachusetts. Hello. Hello there. Hello. Speak to us. I'm Barrett Letty. It's Barrett Letty.

Oh. The perfect segue. We were just talking about Gilbert Gottfried impressions. I heard you. I heard you guys. Yes, I just thought I would call and wish a very happy birthday to myself. Barrett's impression is a little visual. Yeah.

Oh, yes, yes. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Barrett, we have met. Oh, isn't it great? Barrett, you were at, we met when you went to see Gilbert's documentary down at the SVA Theater. I did. That was the craziest night.

Paul Williams was there. Yes. Gilbert insulted him from the stage. That was the best moment of the whole night. That was incredible. Good documentary. When you do your, yeah,

the document, and then your wife, Dara, asked me to do my impressions for you. And all of a sudden, you know, I used to do that impression in high school just to mess around with my friends.

Just to get laid, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Didn't work for Gilbert. And all of a sudden, I'm doing it, and Alan Zweibel and Barbara Felden are looking at me, and I'm like, what the hell has my life become? Wow. Very strange. Very strange.

And now it's our old three guests of the podcast. Yeah, wonderful guests. Paul Williams was terrific. Got to get Paul back. Yeah, he was terrific on the show. We love all of them. We love Alan. Alan's been here twice.

Yeah, very. And Barbara Felden. Barbara's the only guest that ever fed us. Yes. In our home. Very nice. Such a nice person. Barrett, thank you for being such a supporter of the show. Thank you for

favoring us with a Gilbert impression and thanks for holding on so long, pal. Absolutely. Gilbert, can we do a little ready to take a chance again? Oh, God. He already did that one. Sorry, you're breaking up. Oh, God. I think we're losing the call. This is terrible.

Barrett, we'll talk to you. We'll see you on Facebook. All right. Have a good night, guys. Thank you. Happy birthday, Gilbert. Thank you, pal. All right. 708. 708 all the way around to Dara. Illinois.

Illinois's 708. Who are we talking to? What's up, 8 Mile? Hello, can you hear me? We can. Hello, my name is Scott MacArthur. Hi, Scott. I'm sorry if I'm stuttering. I'm a little starstruck.

Oh, it's only Rayburn. I was just going to say that. I get that all the time. Don't be starstruck, Scott. It's just us. It's just three goofy guys with no lives talking about skeleton nags. Buddy Epson. Skelton canags.

Where are you exactly? You're in Illinois or Florida? Illinois. Oh, you're in Illinois. Okay. Dara's not lost her touch. That's what Gilbert said. What do you got for us?

You got a question? You got a request for a guest? Some home remedies for Ray Burns' A favorite episode? Someone you need hit? Someone you need taken care of Actually I just wanted to say to Gilbert that I'm a big fan and I'm thankful for making me and the rest of his fans laugh,

and possibly one of my favorite performances was when he voiced the freezing my nuts off penguin from Farce of the Penguins. Oh, my God. Farce of the Penguins. Another great moment in your canon. Someone saw that. This gentleman saw it.

That was made by Bob Saget. You bet. You bet. And I think Samuel L. Jackson. They needed some other black actor other than Morgan Freeman. That's always one of the two of them. So they got Samuel L. Jackson, I think,

did the voiceover. That's your favorite Gilbert performance, Forest of the Penguins? Well, one of them. Okay. The obvious favorite is Iago from Aladdin. Sure. Especially from Aladdin and the King of Thieves. There you go. Yeah, he's proud of all of them. All the checks cleared. Thank you. Yes!

Scott, thanks for calling in. Thank you. We appreciate it. We appreciate it. Thank you. Thanks for the blast from the past, buddy. Nope. Not a problem. You all have a great night. Thank you, pal. Very much. We appreciate it. Thank you. Thanks for the blast from the past, buddy. Nope. Not a problem. You all have a great night. Thank you, pal. You too.

You too. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast after this. Introducing TD Insurance for Business, with customized coverage options for your business. Because at TD Insurance, we understand that your business is unique, so your business insurance should be too. We'll see you next time. Want visibly glowing skin in 14 days? With new Olay Indulgent Moisture Body Wash, you can lather and glow. The 24-hour moisturizing body wash is infused with vitamin B3 complex and has notes of rose and cherry creme for a rich indulgent experience. Treat your senses with new Olite Indulgent Moisture

Body Wash. Buy it today at major retailers. Alright, we'll jump to 541. Dara, any guesses? Ah, she's stumped. I know this one. I'm not going to tell you. Name that area code. I don't want to show anybody. I feel like we're on the old Carson show. 541 will tell us. What do you got? Does the band have it?

541. Who's on the line? This is Alan Quick. Alan Quick. Eugene Oregon. Hey. Make up your mind. Are you Alan Quick or Eugene Oregon? Do you know Eugene Levy? No, I know of him and he is pretty funny, but...

Alan Quick is Alan Thicke's brother. I didn't know that. Alan Quick. Alan, what do you got for us all the way from the Pacific Northwest? Well, I just want to say how much I appreciate the show. I've been listening for a couple of years, I think, before you transferred to the Stitcher account. And then you dropped us, right?

No. Bless your heart. I've listened to every one, so picking a favorite is really difficult. Okay, but we're going to make you do it anyway. Pick one. Okay, okay. Just one, shoot. A tie.

Dick Cavett, Dick Van Dyke. Okay. Wow. Two dicks. Yeah, two dicks. It was two dicks interviewing Two dicks. Yeah, two dicks. It was two dicks interviewing two dicks. Yeah, there you go. Yes.

We just had Dick Cavett again. What I enjoy is Gilbert's knack when it comes to impressions, and I really appreciate that. Thank you. Especially when he does. Old Groucho is great. I thought you were going to say you appreciate his extensive prep. No,

Frank, that's you. Okay. Frank. And you really, you both, you both really bring in the research and just listening to the folks that you bring in and keeping them alive.

Seriously, not the obituaries that you read, but, you know, but when you do bring them out and it just introduces us to the younger generation. So that is awesome. We try. I mean, that was one of the points of the show was making these people, you know, keep keeping them relevant and introducing them to younger generations who might not know their work. And I think we've succeeded.

And people who might have been scared to watch an older person and then go, wow, they're good. Yeah, we've got more guests coming up in their 80s and 90s. Yes. So maybe. Maybe. Thank you for listening, man. It means a lot. All our people who are in their 80s and 90s now, like Shatner, Barbara Eden,

I mean, have you guys even considered reaching out to those guys? We've reached out to both. Yeah. And we will continue to. We don't take no for an answer. Hey, Gilbert, can you do me a favor? Can you bring out old Groucho and talk Chico? Real quick, because we've still got three people or four people on the line.

Go ahead, Gil. Okay. You know, I say when they bring someone out, it would be they introduce them, and they bring them out. Okay. Thanks for the call. Thanks for the call. Hey, Gilbert, happy birthday. Cheers for another call. Thanks for... Gilbert. Hey, Gilbert. Happy birthday.

Cheers for another many hundreds of podcasts. Thank you, guys. You're a good man. We appreciate it. We're going to jump to another call here. Who's 757? Bye. Virginia Beach, Darren guesses.

Who's on the line? It's Will Harris. Who? Will Harris. Will Harris. What number are you looking for? Will Harris. Will Harris. What number are you looking for? I know you, Will.

He's the doctor from Lost in Space. No, no. Will Harris. You've combined Will Robinson and Jonathan Harris. Will Harris is a professional celebrity interviewer. Are you not, Will? Ah. I am.

In fact, I did the Random Roles interview with Gilbert for the AV Club. He does Random Roles, a wonderful recurring series in the AV Club, and he did one with Gilbert. Yes. Yeah, it's a must-read. We love random roles. Will, how are you? I'm doing well.

I wanted to make sure I tried calling at least 150 times. We're so glad you did that. As a professional interviewer, how do you rate our interviewing skills? I think they're great. They're very casual, and that's always what's worked best for me. And I've been listening for several years now, and as you see on Facebook and Twitter, I try to tweet out the links to the interviews when I can.

Yeah, we appreciate the support. Did you cover Funky Monkey in Gilbert's Random Rules interview? You know, for a while I was doing a column called failed in cinema uh and i think i may have written about it there you got a quick question for us buddy yeah well i was curious with gilbert i love his album dirty jokes but it came out relatively recently and i was just wondering had he ever considered trying to do a comedy album prior to that. I actually once did a comedy album prior to it, and the label fell apart

before the album came out. Having nothing to do with your contribution. Wow. Wow. Well, we appreciate hearing from you, and we appreciate the support.

Absolutely. And I'm going to plug your column in the AV Club Random Roles. It's great. Thank you very much. Thanks, buddy. You and I will talk.

Thanks. Take care. All right. As we wind it down, we still have time, I think, for two or three, right, Francis? Yeah. I don't know how long

we've been doing this mini. We're at 27 minutes. Wow, you timed it? I did. Let's keep going until Gilbert collapses or Paul's illness takes him. Who's at 407? Dara? That's easy. That's Orlando. That's Orlando.

That's Dara's home. Well, hi! Howdy! What do we got? Who's on the line? Hello? Hello? Is this me? It's on the line? Hello? Hello? Is this me? It's you.

You're on. Holy cow. Unbelievable. You're the 16th caller. Hi, Gilbert. You win Rayburn's crutch. Hi. I can walk.

Who are we talking to? My name is Michael. Hi, Michael. I'm from Orlando, Florida. I was born in Hollywood.. I was born in Hollywood. My mom was born in Hollywood, and we listened to the show together, me and my mom. She's 82. God bless.

We listened to the show all the time. Wow. My mom was actually in movies when she was a kid. Tell us. She was an extra. My mom and my aunt, in their 40s, they lived in Hollywood. They lived off Melrose. They lived off many, in Hollywood, a lot of different places. Wow.

And they would go to either the Paramount or RKO or I'm not sure what other ones were over there, but they were broke in the 40s. And so my mom and my aunt would try to be an extra. How about that? And if they weren't extra in a movie, they would get a box lunch. And that's what they would eat, like in the 40s, during the summer and stuff. My aunt wasn't gone with the wind. You can't see her, but she wasn't gone with the wind during when Atlanta's burning. Wow.

My aunt was also in Pot of Gold. The scene where Jimmy Stewart is walking down the street, and everybody's singing. Yeah, I know that movie, Pot of Gold. Yeah. My aunt is the blonde girl in the doorway. How about that? This is fascinating. You got show business in your blood, buddy.

Oh, thank you. This sounds like one of our guests. It's amazing. That's why I waited for so long, because I wanted to tell you. My mom's actually in the room, so I know I'm talking to you. If you want to talk to her, you can talk to her. My mom, this is a story I tell everybody. My mom was in a movie. I've actually

got it online right now in case you wanted to ask what the website is, but she was in a short when she was a kid where an Alan Ladd was her dad, and my mom's real dad was an alcoholic, and we don't like him, and I never met him, and so I always used to say that Alan Ladd was my grandfather as a joke. I love it. But we could never find

it. It's a movie. It's called American Portrait. American Portrait. It's an Alan Ladd short from the 40s? Well, here's the deal. Yes. We finally watched it, and it turns out Alan Ladd did not play my mom's father in this short.

He plays a guy who sells insurance to the guy playing my mom's father in this short. He plays a guy who sells insurance to the guy playing my mom's father. So Alan Ladd was not my fake grandfather. He's a guy who sold insurance to my fake grandfather. Well, we don't suggest you listen to the Ronnie Shell episode. Because there's an Alan Ladd story in there. I love that one.

You simply got to fuck the chicken! My friend Petey won't stop saying that. He'll walk in the door and say, you got it? Anyway. Well, God bless your mom. What is her name? My mom's name is Dorothy. She's in the other room if you want to talk to her. I have one more story, though.

Okay, go quick. Because of my mom, I love the Marx Brothers, and when I was a little kid She took me to Groucho Marx's home He was not there I think I met Aaron Fleming She was in her car She goes Groucho's in Palm Springs with his brothers

And then the next time we went He had died It was right after he had died And I stuck my hand in his pool Because I wanted to touch the same water That Groucho Marx touched And so that's it, that's my story This is a...

This is a great guest. Great stuff. Well, thank you. Great stuff. It's all true. But here, hold on. Say hi to my mom. Mom, say hi to Gilbert Godfrey and Frank.

Hi, Dorothy. How are you? Hi, honey. Hi, Frank. I thought you were in the island. You're fine. No, no, no. You're online.

You're on air. Hello. Nice to hear from you. Well, thank you. You've heard from my son. Yes. We have one question about Allen Ladd. Did you ever see him with any livestock?

I'm sorry, Dorothy. That's an inside joke. Yeah. This was a pleasant surprise this call Dorothy may we ask your last name so we can see if we can track you are you credited in any of these films no

oh my god no so you don't have to give us your last name how much would they pay you for extra work in the 40s? And are they hiring? You know, I really don't know because my mom just took us all down there, you know, and I have no idea how much she got for it. Not very much, I'm sure.

How many pictures do you think you popped up in? All told. I don't know. Four or five, something like that. Some TV work as well? No, no, no, no, no. But when I was a little kid, I was just like a baby, and I was supposed to be in a crib,

and I cried so much that they finally just got rid of me and bought it. They couldn't work with you. You were impossible to work with. Now, who was the biggest star you ever met? Gee, I don't know. I guess Alan Ladd. How about that? They said he was tiny, Alan Ladd, and he had little feet, according to Blasings.

No, that was Douglas Fairbanks. That's probably true, but I was so young that I don't remember. He was one of those leading men where they used to make him stand on an apple box because he had to be taller than his leading lady, and he seldom was. Dorothy, we love hearing from you guys. This was a great call. Oh, thank you. We listen to you all the time, thoroughly enjoy it.

Thank you so much. It means the world to us. You take care. Okay. Thank you so much. It means the world to us. You take care. Okay. Thank you. Bye-bye. That was a great call. Okay, that was great.

We'll have a hard time topping that, but let's try it. Do we have one more call? I think maybe we'll squeeze in one or two. What do you think? All right. Here we go. We're at 33 minutes. All right.

We have a caller on the line from 610. Where is that? I know 310. That's LA. Pennsylvania, maybe? 610. What do you think't know i know 310 that's la pennsylvania maybe 610 what do you think dara dara's guest is pennsylvania is she right she is correct oh my god the radar range is yours we should have dara as a guest on the show we should sometime where are we uh where are we hearing from and and uh who are you uh this is patrick gizzo and i'm in aspen pennsylvania which is about 10 minutes right hearing from and who are you? This is Patrick Izzo and I'm in

Aston, Pennsylvania, which is about 10 minutes right outside of Philadelphia. Patrick, I know your name. We talk all the time on Facebook. Do we not? We do and I wanted to say thank you for your generosity of your time on Facebook. We all appreciate that.

Well, I have no life, Patrick. You're welcome. I love talking to the fans. What's that? We said none of us have a life. We listen to this goddamn podcast. We're life snatchers. They don't bring God into this. What's your favorite episode, Patrick?

Oh my God. It's so hard to pick, but I'll tell you, I feel like i lobbied and campaigned and campaigned to get kirk hammond on the show for being a lifelong metallica fan and knowing for years how much of a horror freak this guy was i kept thinking this guy is going to be the perfect guest and you were right you can probably do three episodes with yeah. Yeah, he was a treat. We loved him. And he sent us gifts. Yes. Did you get those shirts?

Yeah. He sent us shirts and tote bags, and he's a wonderful guy. I have to do a Kirk-related shout-out. Sorry, Frank? I got a Kirk-related shout-out. Go quick. This is totally random. Sure.

There's a guy named DJ Cumberbund. Have you heard of this guy on Facebook? Can't say I have. He does these mash-up music videos and songs. So he takes Enter Sandman from Metallica, but with Earth, Wind & Fire, I think 21st of September or one of those. And it's amazing.

So you're watching Metallica, but hearing this really groovy. I will check that out. Yeah. That sounds like fun. DJ Cumberbund. Big shout out. Patrick, he turned out to be the perfect guest.

So we thank you for the idea. And keep the guest ideas coming. I'm going to try. Do you have anything to say to Raybone? Wake up. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, let's get it together. He knows me so well.

What did you say? I said if we could get some research done within three weeks, it would be great. He's been researching from the first call we got tonight. He's just about to find something. You don't expect me to research his phone. When they first said he was from Metallica, I thought, well, I don't really know Metallica that well. What am I going to talk about? And then when I saw what a monster freak he was.

He was perfect for us. Do you think that might be the only interview he's ever done where he didn't mention his band? We mentioned it once because I asked a question from my future brother-in-law. Patrick, we love hearing from you. I love talking to you on Facebook. Please keep listening to the show. We will. Gilbert, happy birthday.

Thank you. I just met your sister within the past year on Facebook, your sister Karen, and she's lovely. I love her. Thank you. Okay, Patrick. I'll tell her. Be good, buddy. All right, guys.

Take it easy. Take care. You want to squeeze in one more, Frank? All right. Bye-bye. Yeah. One more person who has been on this line from California. Is this 310?

310. Here we go. Finally, an area code I recognize. My old stomping grounds. Hello, Southern California. Wait, we got to drop Patrick. Get out of here, Patrick. Thank you, Patrick.

There we go. Hello. Hello, Hollywood. Hello. Hi there. This is Perry Shields. Perry, I know you from Facebook too. That's right.

And I appreciate your time as another caller said. We've conversed on Facebook, and I thank you very much for that. Well, it's the least we can do. Well, and happy birthday, Gilbert. Thank you. And how about happy birthday, Dara? She had her birthday last week. And how about happy birthday, Frank?

You had a birthday? We're all February babies. I had a birthday last year. Okay. Wise guy. What's up, Perry? Well, you're the highlight of my week twice, Monday and Thursday. I went to Stitcher when you moved there, and I haven't missed an episode.

It's like other people have said, I'm sure, you know, when I found you guys, I thought it was nice to feel part of the community across the world. How nice. You know, people who love these same old. And it's funny because because almost every episode, you'll bring up something, and I'll go, of course I have that. Like, we've been talking about The Versatiles lately.

Oh, The Versatiles book, yeah. Yeah, I've had that since I was a kid. My dad was a huge movie freak. Yep. And, like Gilbert has talked about, you know, your living room being a film school. You know, in the 60s, my dad would say, ah, King Kong is on. You've got to sit and watch this.

So you're a kindred spirit. You inherited the love of this stuff from your dad. Oh, absolutely. Did you have Aurora models as a kid? Yes, I did the Aurora. Oh, wow. I think Gilbert's dad used to sell those in his hardware store. Yes, yes.

Good times. Of course, I don't have many more. They've all broken apart in the various moves and all that. I know. Another $400 or $500 to get one on eBay. Wow. Yeah. Perry, we appreciate it.

We appreciate the support. Thanks for being a fellow traveler. And thanks for sitting on hold for so long. Oh, yeah. Favorite guest? Billy West, because I can't get enough Al Lewis. Very funny. We love Billy West. He's an automatic. Very funny.

Thank you, pal. We love hearing from you. Thank you. You and I will speak on Facebook. I certainly also. Take care. Thanks, Perry. Thanks and I will speak on Facebook. I certainly hope so. Take care. Thanks, Perry. Thanks so much for taking my call.

Okay. Thanks for holding. All right. I think we're out of bullets here at the 39-minute mark. Well, we will have to do another one of these down the road. So it's Gilbert's birthday. If he's going to take us out with a little closure, I'll play some appropriate music for him. Okay.

Well, I want to first say to the nice people who are still on hold. Yes. God bless you, but we can't do a... We really appreciate you calling. We do appreciate it, and we feel bad for the people that are still holding, but we're flattered, and we will do this again, and we urge you guys to call again. And we had to fit that neurologist joke. We are sorry, but the show has ended.

Goodbye. I'm glad I recorded that. What was that? That was the show ending. Was that Stephen Hawking? We finally got him as a guest. To the people for both the main episode and the mini episode who didn't get on, we will figure something out, and we will do this again. Yeah.

I think it was a success. Oh, awesome. Did we all have a good time? We appreciate you calling. No, we really do, but we just can't fit that many people on. Yeah, because we could just keep going, and we'll be here until 1030 at night. And some of us have lives. I'm not speaking for myself.

Darrell, what do you think? Two thumbs up. And you got to play guess the area code. Yeah, this, as a matter of fact, to those people who didn't get on, we had no idea we'd be getting this many callers. And it surprised us. Yeah, when you did the 100th episode at Sirius, we didn't have this many callers. I don't think we did.

We had tremendous, but the show is still pretty new. To the people who didn't get on, if you're on Twitter or Facebook, identify yourself to me, and we'll talk and we'll figure something out down the line. And our apologies. We'd love to hear from all of you. Yeah. And we'd love to hear less from Raybone, actually. I don't think we could have heard any less.

Excuse me, could I have a little research time here, please? Gil, this was fun. Yeah. actually. I don't think we could have heard any less. Excuse me, could I have a little research time here, please? You know, this was fun. Yeah. And I can't believe we've done 250 episodes. Scary. Daryl, what's the count on the mini episodes?

Do you have one? I think it's like two, uh, it's up there. It's, it's not far behind. Like somewhere in the 300s. No,

I think that, what's the, the main episodes are two, 250. So the minis are like 210 now. That's sick. We've done like 500 of these things.

So I'm Gilbert Gottfried. My co-host is Frank Santopadre. And this has been Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsessions a call-in show

talking to our fans. It was great. Happy birthday, partner. Oh, thank you. When Gilbert's 64, here it is. Yes. Yes. Will you still need me? Will you still feed me when I'm 64? You'll be alright And if you say the word

I could stay with you I could be handy Mending a fuse When your lights have gone