Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #213: Fictional Bands of 1960s TV (with John Fotiadis)
Episode Date: April 25, 2019This week: Introducing the Bedbugs! The Mosquitoes land on "Gilligan's Island"! Bob Hope dons a Beatle wig! Floyd the Barber goes electric! And Larry Storch unleashes the Sacred Cows! Learn more about... your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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All new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27, only on Disney+. plus hi this is gilbert godfrey and i'm here with my co-host Frank Santopadre and this is Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsession.
You had to think about it.
And we're here with John Flogiavo.
Who?
Who?
Johnny Flogenbacken.
Johnny Flogiavo.
Johnny Flogiavo.
Johnny Flogiavo. So I'm making my return back from the dead.
It is our friend.
I'll do...
John Fotiatis.
Oh, thank you.
For me, I go.
Such elocution.
If you have more than a four-syllable name, it's over on this show.
You know how many weeks it took him to get Santo Padre?
At least 12.
You have to take a beginner's course in Latin.
Dara wrote it out.
Dara took the kids' old blocks
that she'd saved
but spelled it out phonetically.
Gil,
what do we got here?
We got John Fodiatis
and we're going to do
a mini episode
but quickly
a little house cleaning
as I like to say.
Housekeeping,
excuse me.
We could use
some house cleaning too.
Alan Alda's show
ran our episode today
in their rerun slot. Oh! Yes, and they're off week so they ran our episode today yeah in their rerun slot oh yes and they're off week
so they ran our episode and we got i think we got 35 000 downloads in one day from from this
means they're listening to alan show so we want to thank alan and our friend sarah chase i wanted
to mention you on colbert which everybody saw oh yeah doing redacted redacted redacted
don't you just go in with these things and they just hand you the sides
i what my favorite my favorite thing there is i'm sitting in the makeup chair and and one of the
producers comes over and he goes oh oh, here's your script.
And the script, of course, is one word.
With you.
Yeah, where I just had to keep screaming redacted.
Yeah, and you did Seth Meyers too, but that hasn't aired yet.
No, that hasn't aired yet.
Okay.
I want to wish some good thoughts and well wishes to one of our listeners, David Stevens, who is going through
a difficult period.
So, David, we love you.
Get better.
And, um,
Irvi's birthday,
we have to mention.
It sure is.
We would be remiss
if we didn't mention...
I get a lot of pussy
on my birthday.
More than Tom Selyuk.
Tom Selyuk.
Far fuck Tom Selyuk. I heard Irvi was. Fire, fuck, I'm Selyuk.
I heard Herve was juggling hand grenades on his first picture.
Oh, yeah.
Hey-o.
Poor Herve.
Oh, your name's Daphne, because I can smell the perfume.
This is going downhill real fast.
Yes.
It's an icebreaker.
You can't get good roads outside of New York.
The road is too acclim.
Are you loosened up now, John?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
That's it for housekeeping.
Oh, and well, some guy sent me, I think it was Rick C or something.
Yes.
Well, some guy sent me, I think it was Rick C. or something.
Yes.
A commercial of Nancy Allen for... Oh, yeah.
Clairol.
Clairol.
I got a bunch of those, too.
There are a bunch of them on YouTube.
Yeah.
She was adorable.
She was.
She still is.
Yeah.
We love Nancy.
It was a good episode.
Very nice.
She was lovely.
She had a good time.
John has a concept.
John and I were talking.
John is obviously a friend of this show, as everybody knows.
It is his wonderful listener mail theme that you listen to,
and also the producer of the month theme that we've started circulating in.
Gilbert listens to them nightly, I'm sure.
He does.
There's nothing that happens with this show that escapes his gaze.
The all-knowing, all-seeing Gilbert Gottfried.
He is the oracle of podcasting.
He opens his third eye when he hears my music.
But John and I were talking, and I said, we like it when you're there,
and why don't you come up with a premise?
And he did.
And that premise is fictional bands on 60s television shows.
I remember, like, because the Beatles were major.
Big time.
And so, like, there were all these bands written into sitcoms that were like thinly disguised Beatles.
They were all mop top bands.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
It kind of happened in one very quick wave, right?
Yeah. Yeah. Well, what is it? I mean, you put the dates on these. bands absolutely yeah absolutely it kind of happened in one very quick wave right yeah yeah
well what is it i mean you put the dates on these yes thank you by the way for doing all this
wonderful research so i did a little bit of research and it's a bit of pop culture stuff
that's going on so february 9th 1964 the beatles go on sullivan 73 million people watch and what i
didn't realize is that they had two more appearances like in the week after and then two weeks after
that sure so their their essence was seared into the American consciousness and this
is like three or four months after the Kennedy assassination you know and within two years every
major sitcom on TV has like a beetle mop top pretty much musical episodes and you broke them
all down for us I sure did it's nice to have somebody doing research. They all had about the same plot. Precisely. Like, oh, we can't stay at this hotel
because the mobs of girls, they have to stay with you in your home. That's exactly what happened.
There are a few of those. Exactly. Yeah. So what was the first one? And we don't have to go
chronologically, but for the first one you wrote down.
Well, the first one that came to mind is Gilligan's Island. And this is really a funny one. It's called Don't Bug the Mosquitoes. That's the name of the episode.
Not too many insect references, right?
Right, right, right.
band is dropped on the island because they need a place to rehearse, to regroup.
And, of course, the castaways are there,
and they're trying to figure out a way to convince these guys
to take them off the island when they go back.
And what happens is they go through these ridiculous premises
of forming their own groups to impress the mosquitoes.
And the whole thing is a big...
That was Bingo, Bango, Bongo...
And Irving.
And Irving. Irving. And Irving.
The four mosquitoes.
Which was a reverse, if you think, John, Paul, George, and Ringo.
So they did like the backwards.
Well, now, who was in the mosquitoes?
I mean, did they use...
Because sometimes they used actors.
And sometimes they used actual singers.
And sometimes they would use somebody that actually had a career.
In most cases, what I found is that these were either working musicians, session players,
and in some cases, this was a group called the Wellingtons that actually sang the Gilligan's
Island theme, and then they were co-opted into a plane.
I see.
So they repurposed the Wellingtons as the Mosquitoes.
Exactly.
And what happened here is that the men of Gilligan's Island
decided to form
their own band
called The Nats.
Do you remember this?
And they're wearing
like these really weird
straw mop tops.
Great.
And of course,
all the guitars and the drums
are made out of bamboo.
You know,
it's like the professor
came up with all of that.
And that goes terribly.
And then the women
formed The Honeybees
and it was this
capri pants
girl group thing
Wow
who wound up being
too good
to go back
because the mosquitoes
thought they would be
they would be outshone
by them
so they figure
you know we're not
taking anyone
we're going
Do they ever explain
how the mosquitoes
also got stranded
and ended up on the island?
Well they were actually
dropped there
by a helicopter
I think their management
dropped them there
Okay great
Frank can we hear a little bit of the mosquitoes from
Gilligan's Island? There you go.
You've got a little satisfaction. Don't bug me. Fantastic.
Nice, Andy.
By the way, the helicopter footage was from When Worlds Collide.
It was stock footage from that movie.
Are you serious?
Yeah, 1951.
Not Pat McCormick's whole movies?
No, yeah.
I think he was flying the helicopter.
Let's talk about...
I mean, I remember clearly the one where the Beatles, or whoever they call themselves,
have to stay in New Rochelle.
Right.
He's jumping around.
Oh, he jumps around.
Yeah.
We'll get to that one.
Yeah.
We'll get to that one. What about F Troop?
So F Troop.
That's showbiz.
And your former guest
Our pal Larry Storch. Larry Storch
playing Corporal Agarn.
You know that great Shakespearean tragic figure.
Decides to leave the army
to manage a rock band
called the Bedbugs.
I love these plots. So actually this is an example of a rock band called the Bedbugs. I love these plots.
So actually, this is an example of a real band playing a fictional one
because the Bedbugs were also known as a band called The Factory.
And probably the most famous member of The Factory
was a guy named Lowell George who went on to create Little Feet.
Great guitarist, great composer.
Of course, yeah.
And he went on to record with Frank Zappa after that as well.
Do you remember this, Gilbert? Do you remember Agorn managing
the bedbugs? No, but
what gets me about it
is it's like the Beatles'
great-grandparents weren't
born when that's true.
Exactly. Taking place
that time period. It was 60s garage
rock, 1860s. Yeah, right.
That's what was going on there. You're going to be a literalist about it, Gilbert.
So, and who do we know?
Lowell George was the only musician in the actual bedbugs?
There were a couple of other guys.
Richie Hayward, who would also co-found Little Feet.
And then Guy Williams, one of the other members that appeared
on the episode, actually went on to join
Iggy Pop and the Stooges. I love it.
In 1973. I love it.
So everything is interconnected. Frank, do we have
any little bit of clip of the
bedbugs?
They show up.
A covered wagon.
One of them looks like Hervé Vichy, a stagecoach.
You must be Sergeant O'Rourke.
Oh, that's right, yeah.
We're the group you hired to play for your military ball.
You're kidding.
You're the group?
That's right, Captain.
We call ourselves the Bed Buds.
Former podcast guest, Ken Berry.
Yeah, that's right.
We'll give you a little demonstration of our music.
Of course, you can't see their facial expressions
before they're gassed.
Hit it.
One, two, three, four.
It's great.
With a tax man bass.
Yeah.
They've all got the names of the bands on the drum.
Right.
On the drum kit.
The bed bugs, Gil.
The bed bugs.
And they didn't have recording equipment back in the time,
so how was that amplified?
But who's asking?
So Agarn, that's the cold open.
So that Agarn decides he's going to quit
the cavalry
and then
it actually
there's a point
where Wrangler Jane
appears with Captain Parminder
and somehow Agarn
and Sergeant O'Rourke
and Sergeant O'Rourke's member
yeah
the general please
the general
the general
you will
part of this
in honor of Ron Friedman
they're doing the
they're doing the mop top thing
and they do a version
of Mr. Tambourine Man.
Fantastic.
Isn't that crazy?
You know what gets me here is it's kind of like when Bob Hope and Lucille Ball would go,
Hey, we're hippies.
Hey, let's have a loving, we're hippies. But I watched the clips and every joke is the same
because it's at that period where it was still comedic fodder
to have a terrible reaction to this kind of music.
Right, right, right.
The adults are all aghast.
All the adults are aghast.
Gagarin and O'Rourke look at each other horrified.
Captain Parmenter's eyes are crossing.
It was that time, like i said with bob hope it's like you saw how incredibly
unhip right hollywood was they they're actually they couldn't figure it out they didn't know
they couldn't understand the phenomenon it took them like two or three years for
for it to be absorbed in the interest of time let's jump the next one sure and go to get smart
oh oh get smart is we're on a larryorch role here. Yeah, Get Smart is great.
There was an episode on Get Smart
called The Groovy Guru.
Yes, it's famous.
Where Larry Storch plays this crazy,
it's almost like an Austin Powers character.
Oh, I remember!
You know, he just put on
the Groovy Guru costume at his party.
Oh, wow.
At his 96th birthday party.
That's crazy.
A couple of months ago.
So there are these guys that are chaos agents that are posing as a band,
and they're called the Sacred Cows.
The Sacred Cows.
And they're dressed in cow outfits.
And the funny thing is they use the Groovy Guru's electric sound control,
and their music becomes hypnotizing, allowing the guru to control anyone who hears it
and uh they were also studio musicians and the music is actually really great it's like this
wild strange this is deep research that you found out the names of these studio guys that were that
were that were jerry chef basically dragged a guy named john greek how about that john greek that's
you my uncle spiro posing as a session guitarist.
And Ben Binet.
Yeah, Ben Binet.
Yeah.
I remember this episode
very well.
And we actually,
we talked to Larry about it
when we had him on the podcast.
And as I said,
he just dressed up.
Somehow he has the costume
or somebody made him
a groovy guru costume.
Can we hear a little bit
of the Sacred Cows, Frank?
Go, babies!
Storch is great the rest is cows listen to that guitar you guys can find these clips on youtube they all make the same look at each other
The Sacred Cows.
Of course.
The Sacred Cows.
Of course it's the Sacred Cows.
It has to be the Sacred Cows.
Who else could it be but the Sacred Cows?
One question, 99.
What's that, Max? Who are the Sacred Cows?
They're the hottest rock and roll group in the country, Max.
Of course, the Sacred Cows.
This is 68.
This is a while later.
Yeah, that overdrive.
Drill, drill, drill.
Oh, there's lyrics, too.
Kill, kill, kill.
Look at Gilbert.
He's transfixed.
99's getting down.
Look at Barbara dancing.
Well, she can't control herself.
That's just it.
They love Barbara.
They love mind control.
Bump off a sweat. They love Barbara. They're mind-controlled.
Okay, okay.
We'll take down the sacred cows.
Fantastic.
Very funny. I love this. It's wild, right? Yeah.
So not a real band. Barbara
is very sexy, Dan. She's wearing
a plaid miniskirt. Yes. You bet your
ass she is the next one.
So this gag, this premise is going on for years.
Absolutely.
It's not just an immediate reaction to Beatlemania in 64.
That's right.
It's actually, I mean, this is 68.
The next one coming up is 68.
Yeah, and the music.
The mother's-in-law.
The music gets progressively harder and more psychedelic.
It begins with this kind of Liverpool-ypool-y uh uh sound but then it goes
into like heavy acid rock and this episode of the mother's-in-law is really funny because this was a
real band called the seeds and they were a garage band out of california pushing too hard pushing
too hard playing the warts sure playing the warts on the mother's-in-law if there are any shows where
you see like the generation gap,
which is the theme of the show, this one is it.
One of my favorite aspects of this episode is that Joe Besser makes an appearance
as a Salvation Army band leader, and he brings everybody together,
the mothers-in-law, the Sacred Cows, and the Salvation Army band
at the end of the episode.
Fantastic.
Oh, it's too good.
We will return to
Gilbert Gottfried's amazing
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availability may vary by regency app for details yeah i jumped one here let's do the i dream of
genie one too sure um from 67 yeah this is uh do you want to jump into that or do you want to finish this?
I'm going to jump back
to I Dream of Jeannie
and then...
Oh, were you done talking
about the Mothers of the Lost?
Well, I was going to say
the name of the song
was Pushing Too Hard,
so what do you think
Joe Besser said, right?
What did Joe Besser say, Frank?
Not so hard!
There you go.
Keep up the train.
I stepped on a bit.
Wow.
My apologies.
It took me two weeks
to prepare that bit.
I apologize. I stepped... I failed in comedy, too. I stepped on John's setup. My apologies. It took me two weeks to prepare that bit. I apologize.
I failed in comedy, too.
I stepped on John's setup. Let's talk about
I Dream of Jeannie and the episode
Jeannie the Hip Hippie from 67.
So, here's the premise.
Tony's vacation is cancelled because
Mrs. Bellows wants to
create a charity event. She needs music.
Somehow, Tony is
summoned to find a a group so genie
steps in and creates a group by by going around coco beach cafes and music stores and just seeing
guys that look cool and blinking them into tony's living room now that's fantastic it's great
genie does this yeah yeah okay with all of magical powers, couldn't she just snap her fingers?
Yeah, you would think.
And bring the beetles.
Yeah, exactly.
Or the stones or the animals or whoever.
Tough booking.
Right.
So she blinks them all into the living room.
The premise is that none of them know how to play any instruments.
They just look cool.
Of course, she blinks talent into them.
And two of the people are Boyce and Hart.
I love it.
The great songwriters who wrote all of the monkey stuff.
And in fact, when she's going around blinking people in, they're playing a kind of a psychedelic version of Last Train to Clarksville in the background.
It's pretty fun.
I love it.
And the episode ends with them somehow getting in front of Phil Spector to do a record audition.
This is the pre-murder rap, pre-Crazy Hair Phil Spector.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, by years.
And they do a song called Out and About, which is a great track, actually.
It's a really good song.
Yeah.
So, Boyce and Hart, and there were two other guys, Steve O'Reilly and William Lewis.
That's right.
And they appeared as the real names in the episode.
They were all part of the Boyce and Hart band, but I don't know how long that band lasted.
I tell you, I know the bedbugs.
I know the Gilligan's Island episode.
I did not know about these guys.
They didn't even give them a name.
No, no.
Okay, let's hear a little clip of Boyce and Hart
from I Dream of Jeannie.
Frank's got it queued up.
Thanks, Frank.
Oh, this is where Jeannie sits in on the drums
because the drummer isn't there.
Now.
Who's more adorable, Gilbert?
Barbara Eden or Barbara Felden?
Look how cute she is.
Nothing going on around here
that hasn't gone on all year.
Staying in, day out, and day in.
Dishing, I was outside playing.
Out and about.
I got everything going for me.
Out and about.
We've got all the things before me. Out and about. See, Phil?
See, Spectre is spooky.
Yeah, he really is weird.
I wanna get bored No, what I couldn't find out
is if they actually released this song
because I think the song is quite good.
It sounds like it could have been a monkey song.
Yeah, yeah.
Probably part of their broader catalog.
Thank you, Frank.
It's very spooky seeing Phil Spector sitting there.
Oh, my God.
Like nodding in silent approval.
Years later, Batman,
well, not years later,
probably around the same time,
Batman did a Phil Spector parody, a character called Little Louie Groovy.
I did not know that.
Yes.
I did not know that.
I don't remember this Genie episode, and I don't know that song,
but you're right, it's catchy as hell.
Let's quickly go to Gidget.
Oh, Gidget.
This is a funny one.
It's called Ring-A-Ding Dingbat.
That's the name of the episode.
It airs February of 66.
I just got to say, I was watching.
The clip was still on.
And it's so funny to see a weird, I can't believe what's happening from Phil Spector.
It's genius.
Oh my God.
This is shocking.
The puffy shirt with the cuffs.
These are all on YouTube, by the way, guys.
You can find these.
Back in the days where executives
still wore suits and ties.
He's sitting there
with a wall full of gold records.
That's right.
I'll make you stars.
Grooving out.
This is fantastic.
Let's talk about,
we did the mothers-in-law.
Let's talk about Gidget.
So you quickly mentioned Gidget.
Now this is very funny
because there's actually no band that appears.
They're just two English guys that show up.
They come to the town,
the premise that you said.
They're being chased by fans and girls
and somehow Gidget and her friend LaRue, I guess is how you pronounce her name.
I'm not familiar with the show, but they somehow sneak in, get these guys, and reel them in somehow.
But in the meantime, the only performance they have is a TV interview that they give.
And the name of the band is called the Dingbats.
And you're right, they are getting a little more psychedelic as they go.
As things progress.
Yeah.
It gets a bit darker, too.
You know, like as the 60s progress, the shows kind of get a darker theme.
Yeah.
Gilbert's happy that Joe Besser showed up.
Yeah.
And the mother's in law.
We jumped it, but we've got time for it.
Let's go back to the Andy Griffith show episode.
Yeah.
From 67.
The Andy Griffith Show.
I like how you wrote
Kay Lenz,
va-va-va-voom.
Va-va-va-voom.
She was married to
David Cassidy.
Oh my God.
Yeah, she actually
appears in that episode.
Remember Kay Lenz?
Remember her?
Yes.
Yes.
How about that?
There's a name.
So this episode
is really funny
because Opie...
Does Aunt B
get eaten by cats?
Yeah, I think
Aunt B gets hooked on smack,
but that's the ending they didn't use.
Wasn't that your theory,
that Frances Bavier was devoured by the cats?
I heard that she died in the house,
and she was a cat lady.
I don't like what got on there.
And the cats were eating her corpse for about a year.
Doing Aunt Bea as Tiny Tim.
I don't know how that happened.
You mentioned that to Clint Howard,
and it didn't ring true, but I wish it were.
I wish I had seen the expression on his face.
Yeah, that was good.
Anyway, so Opie gets asked to join a rock and roll band,
and they start practicing in the tailor's garage.
And Andy's kind of excited that Opie is involved
with a new activity until he starts staying out really late and his grades drop and he doesn't care anymore.
It's like, uh-oh, rock and roll.
The band becomes all consuming.
He's staying out late in the evenings.
And finally, Andy says, we've had enough.
He needs a talking to.
And somehow they get Clara Edwards, Aunt Bea's friend,
to speak to Opie.
This is very kind of serious,
introspective moment.
This is late in the run.
Season eight.
Opie comes to his senses.
Fantastic.
And the name of the band
is called The Sound Committee.
The Sound Committee.
And they have that written
on their drum head
as they play the high school.
All the band's names
are on the drums.
Unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
It's fantastic.
And didn't you tell me
that there was another one
that you found at the 11th hour that you found
a Gomer Pyle one? Actually,
yeah, there was a couple
that I found at the 11th
hour. I think the same
guys, I have to
actually go back and see what that
is. I found one with Jim.
The Flintstones also had a parody episode
too, a cartoon episode to the cartoon episode
of um a group called the gruesomes and that mean anything they were very mop toppy and they
somehow played in this strange uh gilbert stuck on k lens yeah boy oh boy i haven't heard that
she was married to david cassidy yeah she was really hot. She was cutie.
John, I can't thank you enough for doing all this research.
Oh, but what was the one with the monsters?
We're going to do that one in the next episode.
I'm going to save it because it's a different format.
The only thing I regret about this Andy Griffith show is that Floyd the Barber didn't sing a Dylan song.
You know his bit.
What would that have sounded like?
You know his bit.
What would that have sounded like?
What would that have sounded like?
Like a rolling stone.
A complete unknown.
You still doing that in the act?
Yeah.
Good, man.
Don't freshen anything up. Is that after the Georgie Jessel bit?
Yes.
We have Gavin McCloud booked in a couple of weeks.
Are you going to do Gavin and Tony for him?
Oh, you got balls.
Wow, that's funny.
John, thank you for this.
My pleasure, gentlemen.
This was a ton of fun.
We'll pick a piece of music and take us out.
We don't know what that is right now, but we're going to get a second episode out of this idea.
Fantastic.
Because next week, we're going to do real bands
that turned up on 60s television shows.
John, this was fun.
Oh, Andy.
Oh, yeah.
You want to take us out, Gilly?
I want you so bad.
The drunken undertaker
cried.
The lonesome hog and grinder
cried. And all the
saxophone
died. After the stroke,
Howard McNair could only
do episodes in a chair.
They would all stand around him. Kind of like Captain Pike.
Just a little light
goes on.
You want to say
goodnight, Gilbert?
Oh, goodnight, Gilbert.
See?
Nice.
Okay, this has been
I'm Gilbert Gottfried,
Frank Santopadre.
This has been
Gilbert and Frank's
amazing, colossal
obsessions
with John
Flowy
Pond.
Thank you, John Podian.
Hey, Lighting.
Out and about.
I got everything going for me.
Out and about.
Free from all the things that bore me.
Out and about.
Riding all around the city.
Out and about.
All the girls that look so pretty.
I'm fine when I'm...
Out and about.
Things I want I can't afford them.
Nothing in this house but the border.
Magazines are torn and tattered.
I'm running out of reading matter
I gotta run outside and see what's happening
Out in the fight
Where the sun is always shining
Out in the fight
You'll get all the fun out there
Out in the fight
Put everything to laugh
Out in the fight
For the movie time we're having
We'll have a good time
Well, I'm the bomb
I'm the bomb
Well, I'm the bomb At the Bound Bye.