Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #226: Raybone's Record Collection
Episode Date: July 25, 2019This week: McCartney & Lennon!? "Surfin' Bird"! "Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows"! Gilbert covers Cyrkle! And the not-quite-triumphant return of Zager and Evans! Learn more about your ad choices. Vis...it megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried and I'm here with Frank Santopadre and this is Gilbert and Frank's amazing, colossal obsessions with skinless, bloodless, boneless, liverless, spleenless, ray-bones.
Well, I notice I still have ears because I'm going to need those for this episode here.
What happened to your spleen?
Yeah.
It's no telling what kind of trouble a spleen can run into.
I'm good, man.
How are you, Gilly?
I had a great day today. You had Gilly? I had a great day today.
You had a what?
I had a great day today.
Why don't you tell us about it?
Yeah, I'm going to do that.
Listening to my old 45s.
Ah!
You're giving us a little sneak preview.
Before we do that, I'm going to give out some gifts.
Okay.
These are goodies.
Gilbert loves to get gifts.
Why, yes!
Don't you, Gilbert?
Yes, I do!
These are sent to me because my office at ABC is now a clearinghouse for this stuff.
It's become a storeroom. It's like turning into that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
They store everything at the end of the movie.
Anyway.
It needed a laugh line.
These are from Ben Walker Story, who is an artist.
Look at this.
Oh.
This is good shit that he sent.
Monster Funk Adult Coloring Book.
Oh, always fun.
And you get with it the Horror Critics Journal, and there's one for everybody.
There's one for Frank.
There's one for Paul. Thank you. Excellent. There's one for Frank. There's one for Paul.
Excellent.
One for Gilbert.
You can write in that.
Look at that.
Excellent.
A fan of the show sent us some swag.
We also got a big box in my office from our friends at the Cartoon Network,
from our friend Ned Hastings.
And he sent DVDs of a show that I think Frank's friend is starring in.
Matt Cervito.
Matt Cervito called Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell.
I don't know.
Dave Seidel is nodding.
Dave Milstein is nodding.
We don't know.
I don't know anything about this.
I'm out of the loop, boys.
Matt's an awesome guy.
You would know him as the FBI agent from The Sopranos.
Ah, that guy.
Oh, okay.
Look at that.
There's your DVD, Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell,
with two hours of uncensored
extras raybone i'm taking that home for you there's one for you here frankie it's got a lot
of gilbert nudity in it also uh also a line notebook of your pretty face is going to hell
see that i always beautiful spiral notebook one for you paulie oh this is a nice no frank received
his there is plenty more they sent a giant, a room-sized box of stuff.
I love it.
It's T-shirts.
It's Adult Swim stuff, Venture Brothers, all kinds of stuff.
And I didn't have room to bring it all.
I've got to read one tweet I got.
Okay, go. show, somebody asked about the
Jeff Ross
historical roast
where it was Hitler roasting
and Frank. And there
were some people attacking
that. And one guy wrote,
this is citizen
plane president.
I don't know
if I'm saying it right. it doesn't sound like a name
but uh he tweeted this he said uh you are right hitler's killing of people was not funny
but watching a jewish man play hitler and have other jewish people talk shit to him
is funny there There you go.
Yeah, and I thought that explains it right there.
So you feel better about playing Hitler now?
Yeah.
I think my parents would have been proud.
Would that have been a proud moment for them?
Yes.
Paulie Paul.
Yeah.
We're going to do something that, why don't you explain what we've done?
Oh, yes, I just fell out.
If you're over there, Frank, we've been doing some record collections.
We did yours a couple of weeks ago.
We sure did.
Highlights from Frank's records.
Did we do yours?
Yes.
We didn't do Gilbert's.
No?
No, because that would require Gilbert actually working.
And actually, we did Dara's record collection.
We did Dara's.
Right.
It started with mine.
It started with Frank's record collection.
And we had, I tried to stump Gilbert.
Right.
And I believe you were here.
I was here.
Is Paul looking more and more like Neil Simon?
Or is it my imagination?
Doesn't he look like Doc Simon?
Sure.
I'll take a picture of you and post it.
And then Dara decided that she was going to take up the challenge,
so we did Dara's CD collection originally.
Right.
And then we did two with Dara.
Then we did Dara's record collection.
Part one and part two.
Dara's mom stuff.
Yeah, Dara's mom chimed in too.
I don't think we put that one up yet.
And then I challenged Ray Bone to say, go through your record collection, find your 45s.
Did you actually have them in the house still?
Actually, amazingly, I had all my 45s, about 100 of them.
I didn't know I had that many.
Wow.
You still have them.
About 20 years ago, my father was cleaning out his closets, and he said,
I'm getting the hell out, getting this out of here, and mailed it to me without any warning.
And so I have them.
If he hadn't done that, they would have gone out, God knows,
when they left the house.
Fantastic.
So I got them.
I would volunteer to do my record collection,
but I think most of the songs I like are 27 minutes long.
Yeah.
Yeah, you just like deep, what, King Crimson?
Genesis Supper's Ready.
Deep album cuts.
There goes the whole show.
Yeah, we'll just sit here in silence and be absolutely puzzled and perplexed.
Gilbert's looking at his swag.
Yes.
Ponderous.
Ponderous.
Does all that go in the bottom of the closet?
Oh, yes.
Well, this one I can draw pictures in.
There you go.
Okay.
There you go.
So thank you to...
Ned Hastings.
To Ned Hastings.
And he also said...
Wait, there's somebody...
There's more.
And Chris Kelly.
Chris Kelly is the other guy.
Casper Kelly.
Casper Kelly.
That's the name I was trying to think of.
Bless your heart. So thank you to guy. Casper Kelly. Casper Kelly. That's the name I was trying to think of. Bless your heart.
So thank you to Chris and Casper, same person,
and also to the very generous Ned Hastings.
And Frank tells me that we have a lot of fans at the Cartoon Network.
Yeah, well, what I love is I record a lot for Cartoon Network,
and then Ned reached out one day and said,
hey, I'm a fan of the show, and I also get your files next after you record.
How nice.
Which is super cool. Yeah, we were talking about Batman movies on Facebook, show and I also get your files next after you record. How nice. Which is super cool. Yeah, we've been talking
about Batman movies on Facebook,
Ned and I. And as I said,
this is just the tip of the iceberg because
there's a lot more swag in the box, including
t-shirts, Gilbert, which really
gives you a chubby. Yes.
And we also want to thank Ben Walker's
story. So we'll get to the show and
we'll get to the meat of Raybone.
All right. There's some kind of weird metaphor there I just made.
Let's not do that. So I want to give you a break and start with an easy one.
Okay. So one of the first things I pull in my 45s. Tilt that screen a little bit toward you so that I don't
actually see it in my peripheral vision.
So are you ready? The two Daves are here and they're playing along through the glass. That's right.
Feel free to play at home.
I have a 45 RPM record with one side says, love me do, and the other side says, P.S. I love you.
The question is, who wrote, who is credited with writing these songs on the 45?
Oh.
Is this a trick question?
It's a, it's a, it's a.
So, it's not, not Lennon and McCartney? It is not Lennon and McCartney?
It is not Lennon and McCartney.
Love Me Do and what was the other one?
Yes, I Love You.
They weren't written.
Those are not Lennon and McCartney compositions?
Wow.
Was it the guy we had on the show?
Because I had those also, I think.
You breaking news or is this a trick question?
I think I'm breaking news.
It wasn't Lennon and McCartney.
It was the Beatles.
Both tunes are credited to McCartney-Lennon.
Oh.
I'm going to hit him.
Seidel had it.
He knew it.
He's pumping his fist.
He knew it.
How about that?
Come on.
That was a giveaway.
Isn't that weird, though?
I don't think that ever.
That is a little weird.
So that one, I think, might be worth a fortune.
At some point, they decided to go alphabetical.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So.
All right.
So now we get to the hard ones.
Okay.
The real ones. I'm excited. Okay. So, Frank, you want to try? That. Yeah. Yeah. So, all right. So, now we get to the hard ones. Okay.
The real ones.
I'm excited.
Okay.
So, Frank, you want to try?
That one was just annoying.
That was just annoying.
He hasn't even done one yet, and Gilbert's pissed off.
That's the kind of thing you tell your friends in school, and they beat you up over it.
This does not bode well.
Yeah.
Okay, here we go.
That wasn't Burt Bacharach.
It was Mr. Bacharach.
Okay.
All right.
Hopefully, we got our first lead on Burt Bacharach today.
Oh, great.
That would be good.
Cross your fingers.
I'm working it.
Oh, my God.
All right, Frankie.
Here we go.
Here's song number one.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Oh, gosh. Was that the bird? The bird?
It's the same song.
Pretty much, right?
The bird is the word.
Yeah.
But this isn't.
Is it called umpapa maumau?
Papa umpapa maumau. We'll let it play a little bit. If he's serious or is he playing Oh, mama, is all he's saying
Mama, ooh
Papa, papa, papa, ooh
Gilbert said it's very similar to the song.
He's right.
The bird is the word.
There were three follow-up songs.
What were the three follow-up songs?
And first of all, who performed Papa, ooh, mama, ooh?
Salt-N-Pepa.
No, that's not right.
So these are obviously the guys who did the bird.
Well, it's a little more complicated than that.
So these guys.
I'm stumped.
The Rivingtons.
The Rivingtons.
Which didn't ring a bell with me at all, even though I own a record.
They played at my bar mitzvah.
Should have known this.
There were three follow-up songs.
The first one was The Bird by the Rivingtons, again.
Yeah, The Bird is the word.
Later the same year.
Well, now everybody's heard about the bird.
The bird, the bird.
Used to great effect in Good Morning Vietnam.
That's right.
And Family Guy.
They didn't have a great amount of range.
No, no.
They stuck with the winner.
You know, go with the winner.
Now, the third one.
There's an um-ah-mah version of the Battle of the Republic that you'd love.
The third one was by the Trash Men, and that was Surf and Bird.
Yet again, same melody, similar nonsense words.
Did you give all of them to him?
I let everybody say about the bird.
Oh, this is the one from Good Morning Vietnam.
And also
Family Guy.
Yes, of course.
I'm explaining this.
So they had a huge legal mess over this.
The Trashmen were like a garage band.
The Trashmen were basically ripping off
the Rivingtons.
Exactly.
And the Rivingtons didn't have that much
to work with
to begin with.
They worked it all out and they said
there was no legal trouble. They put everybody's name on the
song and in the 1970s
it was Surfing Bird was revived
by the Ramones and the Cramps.
I don't know the Cramps. Wow.
I'm waiting for Pharrell Williams' version personally.
This is impressive. So isn't it
you know, you didn't know that.
I didn't know that.
I know the Surfing Bird.
It's been used.
Is that the name of the song?
It's been used a lot and to great effect.
You had the original pressings of these?
You had the original 45s?
Well, I don't know if it's here.
I think so because it was about the right time.
Very impressive.
Milstein is nodding in there like he knows this stuff.
He may.
He's a music guy.
All right.
I'm frightened.
We're going to have to bring him back and do
Dave's record collection. Yeah, that's right.
Alright.
And that song was written by
Paul and John.
You'll never forget that now.
No. Alright, you want
to go to number two, Frank? Let's do it.
Alright, here it comes. Ready? I've never heard these.
Wow.
Sounds like 60s, doesn't it? Tell me mama what to do
If a boy makes eyes at you
Tell me mama what to say
I love this and I don't know it.
Yeah.
I thought you'd like it because it's kind of risque.
Yeah.
Sort of Leslie Gore-ish, but not obviously.
No, so I'll give you a hint.
Girl group.
Is it a girl group or a solo?
It's a girl singer. Now, from 1961 until 63, Helen Shapiro, who I never heard of, was England's teenage pop.
That's right.
Thank you, Adolph.
That's all I care about.
That's it.
Okay, moving on.
Helen Shapiro.
She was England's teenage pop music queen, and she was so big that every record label was scrambling to have its own teenage pop music queen.
And this was one of those who I think was 14 when she recorded.
Her name was Christine Quaid.
Now, this one we just heard was Christine Quaid.
Right.
Did you know of Christine Quaid, Gilbert?
No.
Or Helen Shapiro.
It's her alter ego.
I'd like to read up on Helen Shapiro. It's her alter ego. I'd like to read up on Helen Shapiro.
Well, you know, I'm kind of surprised you don't know her because she spent some time on the local amateur circuit in Leeds, England.
You didn't cross paths.
Oh, yeah.
I spent a lot of time there.
When Gilbert was in the original Georgie Girl.
Original name of McCartney's Helen Wheels, by the way, Helen Shapiro.
Yeah.
And she might have, Christine Quaid might have had another hit. Original name of McCartney's Helen Wheels, by the way, Helen Shapiro. Yeah.
And she might have, Christine Quaid might have had another hit, but her record company went bankrupt.
Christine Quaid.
Christine Quaid.
The other reason was nobody ever heard of her.
I'm just so glad, I'm glad these are in your collection.
I'm enjoying them.
I've never heard of these people. I see why your father sent them back, though.
One more tidbit reference to what you were just saying.
Yeah.
I've never heard of these people. I see why your father sent them back, though.
One more tidbit reference to what you were just saying.
Yeah.
Christine Quaid's last single, which went exactly nowhere, was called Long After Tonight
Is All Over by Burt Bacharach and Hal David.
How about that?
Just went nowhere.
Nothing.
How about that?
Now I'm going to do some deep research on Christine Quaid.
All right.
Is she still with us?
I don't think so.
Okay.
I'm sorry to hear that.
I'm not sure about that.
David and Bacharach.
I would have stayed with you.
That's right.
That's right.
King of the callback here.
A lot of people think it was Bacharach, David, but they're wrong.
All right, Raybone.
You know, Frank pulled away some plastic wrap when I was opening his.
The guy has zero instincts about a microphone.
How long have you been in showbiz?
He shakes a glass with ice cubes in it.
He peels cellophane off of a gift when he gets it.
I'm waiting for him to show up with a bag of walnuts.
Guys, I brought a little water feature to put in the studio.
Christ.
I brought in some parakeets.
I don't like these. Next week, Gilbert brings bubble wrap to the studio. Christ. I brought in some parakeets. I don't like these. Next week, Gilbert
brings bubble wrap to the
show. Alright, song number
three. Number three. Here it comes.
I've never heard them.
It's
Good News Week.
Someone's dropped a bomb somewhere contaminating atmosphere This is clearly a British invasion.
Have you heard the news?
What did it say?
Who's won that race?
What's the weather like today?
The only question on this is who sings this?
You know the song? I'm going to take a wild guess because it sounds like a band called Circle.
That Paul Simon wrote a song called Red Rubber Ball.
It's not.
I'm way off.
But it sounds like them.
It sounds like them.
I once was on a TV show.
Maybe Night Court.
And I met one of the crew guys, introduced himself to me, and he was one of the members of Circle.
Wow.
C-Y-R-K-L-E.
Yeah.
Yeah, Circle.
Morning sun is shining like a red rubber ball. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-L-E. Yeah. Yeah, circle. Morning sun is shining like a red rubber ball.
But the song was in that vein.
Is it British Invasion?
Yeah, it is.
And I don't know that they did anything else.
I think this was the one thing.
Hedgehoppers Anonymous.
Jesus. I just thought it was worth it just because I like the name.
I should have known she'd bid me farewell.
There's a lesson to be learned
A better song.
I learned my lesson well.
Always running
never leaving.
That's the life you lead.
I took my
with my tears
and that's all I got to do.
And I think it's gonna be
alright. Yes, the worst
is over now.
The morning sun is shining like a red rubber ball.
Okay, raise your hand if you wish Paul had picked that one.
Everybody.
Oh, wait.
Everybody knows that one.
Wait, do you know their other song?
I'm pretty sure this is Circle.
I'm pretty sure this is Circle.
It's much too groovy a summer's day to spend running around in the city.
Don't know it.
It's a turndown day. You know this one.
Nothing on my mind.
I do.
I do.
Very good.
I don't know who that is, but that's good.
Very good.
Gilbert's personally bringing Circle back.
Yeah.
Single-handedly.
I'm bringing back Circle, church.
He's bringing Sexy back.
You don't have to do your record collection.
You could just come in and do your brain.
Yes.
You've stumped us so far, Paul.
Okay.
All right.
I'm going to try to give you an easy one here.
This is a deep dive, my friend.
Try the one that was before this one, Frank, please.
There's nothing there. There's nothing there? Okay. We'll an easy one here. This is a deep dive, my friend. Try the one that was before this one, Frank, please. There's nothing there.
There's nothing there?
Okay, we'll skip that one then.
I'll tell you, there were a couple of interesting things about that.
That one was, that's the way boys are by whom?
I never heard of the whom.
Are they really the whom?
That's the way boys are.
That's the way boys are.
They all sound like something else.
Not Connie Francis.
Leslie Gore.
Leslie Gore. Leslie Gore. That's the way boys are. Shame on me. And she had some other hits and else. Not Connie Francis. Leslie Gore. Leslie Gore.
Leslie Gore.
That's the way boys are.
Shame on me.
And she had some other hits and things.
Shame on me.
She recorded, in 1963, she recorded a composition called Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows.
Of course.
I know that one.
And who wrote that one?
It was his first hit.
Give me a hint.
Give me a first initial. Chorus line. Oh, yeah. Marvin Hamlisch. Marvin Hamlisch. Marvin Ham a hint. Give me a first initial.
Chorus line.
Oh, yeah.
Marvin Hamlisch.
Marvin Hamlisch.
Very good.
Sunshine lollipops and rainbows.
All right.
Sorry, I can't play that for you, but we'll move on.
Imagine it.
Just imagine it.
Close your eyes.
I thought I knew Leslie Gore.
I'll tell you.
I'm having an off night.
I discovered about a dozen Leslie Gores.
I had every Leslie Gore single.
Well, I played one on this song, on this show, California Nights, which you were
not familiar with, from Batman.
We will return to
Gilbert Gottfried's amazing
Colossal podcast after
this.
Baseball is finally
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and swing for the fences with BetMGM,
the king of sportsbooks.
Log in or sign up to play along as BetMGM brings the real-time action.
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your one-stop shop for all things baseball.
BetMGM.com for Ts and Cs.
19 plus to wager.
Ontario only.
Gambling problem?
Call Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600.
BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario.
Want visibly glowing skin in 14 days? BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. has notes of rose and cherry creme for a rich, indulgent experience. Treat your senses with Nuolite Indulgent Moisture Body Wash.
Buy it today at major retailers.
Okay, Paulie.
This next song is named after a deli chain
in New York City. You're going to get it right away.
Great.
Oh, it's Zeger and Evans.
You own this?
They make the fresh meat.
I own this. Zeger and Evans. You own this? They make the fresh meat. Yeah, I own this. I own this.
With the mariachi.
Yeah.
Well, you know, this is great stuff.
We should have had this on the show before a few times.
If only we had.
It really paints a...
You know, it's as relevant today as it was 50 years ago.
Except we're that much closer to it.
today as it was 50 years ago.
Except we're that much closer to it.
Ain't gonna need to tell the truth.
A true one-hit wonder.
What's interesting musically about this?
Besides the Spanish influence?
Besides that, it changes key almost every verse.
It's unusual.
Musically? Musically and
medically. This is the song that kicked off
the first music mini we ever did,
which was One Hit Wonders.
From, I believe, 1969.
You're right.
You're right. So this song's 50 years old.
So this is the first
one that at least I'm
familiar with. Yeah, me too.
Me too.
Okay, but they're not going to be too...
That one I just liked because I just thought we
should listen to it.
You know, for old times' sake.
Okay, for old times' sake.
What are you, Abe Vigoda?
Okay, Zeger and Evans.
Love Zeger, hated Evans, as we said last time. All right. Okay, you have the next Love Zeger, hate Evans
as we said last time
Okay, the next one Frank, please
You got another Helen Shapiro hit?
Here it comes
It's so good
That people are finally getting together
It's so wonderful
That people are
That people are finally getting together
I think it's wonderful enough That people are finally getting together.
People are finally getting together.
Reach out in the darkness.
Reach out in the darkness.
I think he's got it.
Yeah.
Look, if you don't like it, we can stop it right now.
Great single.
Good one, right? I have such respect for you
that you own these. Okay, now
who, I'm not going to let you off that
easy. Who sang it? Gilbert.
Helen Shapiro.
And the Trash Men.
Helen Shapiro under her
alias as
Friend and Lover. Yeah, Friend and Lover.
Friend and Lover. See, I should have known that.
We knew the song. This was an anthem adopted by the protest movement. You wouldn't be surprised toover. Friend and Lover. See, I should have known that. All right. We knew the song.
This was an anthem adopted by the protest movement.
You wouldn't be surprised to hear.
I wouldn't be. But you might be surprised to know that in the 1970s, it became a staple of some Christian rock groups.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
Who thought its message somehow had something to do with...
I'm going to stop right there.
It's very...
That's a good choice.
Gilbert knew it.
I'm impressed.
Okay. All right. Very good. Gilbert knew it. I'm impressed. Okay.
All right.
Very good.
Did we know that one, Dave's?
They're nodding.
They're nodding.
It's about time you guys knew one of these things, you know.
Well, we knew Zeger and Evans for Christ's sake.
Your bonus track.
My bonus track.
All right, here we go.
How are we doing on time, Frank?
We're doing great.
I have no idea how long, but it's great.
Let's keep going until we all fall asleep.
This next band, I'll give you one clue before we play it.
They invented Fudgy the Whale.
Great. Tom Carville and the
Trash Men. Yes.
We don't have to
be playing
to cry
or to
hide. Could you be more obscure
with these selections?
You recognize the melody at all?
Nope.
I think the idea behind this poll was that we should be able to actually get some of them.
Actually get some of them.
All right.
This is You Don't Have to Be a Baby to Cry by The Caravelles.
Reach number three on a U.S. chart.
Number three on a Billboard chart.
I mean, that's irrespectable.
I've never heard this song in my fucking life.
You, Gilbert?
I'm convinced that Paul made all these records five minutes before coming in here.
If you see the video, it's wonderful.
He's versatile.
It's a very 80s nightclub thing going on.
Dave, do we know this song?
This is a no.
Okay, but here's why you should have known this song.
It became the first British record on the Hot 100's Top 40 in 1964.
The first one beating Cliff Richard by two weeks and The Beatles by three weeks.
What is the name of this act?
The Caravelles.
The Caravelles.
Nope.
No.
Not at all.
Don't let yourself be embarrassed like this again.
I'll go back to Vernerost's cookie puss clue or whatever it was.
Fudgy the whale.
Do you know the joke, how does Tom Carvell take a shit?
You know that one?
Yes.
Yes, I'm familiar.
God.
Where did you find these songs?
In my record collection.
Did you cut these off the back of Alphabet's boxes?
All right.
Okay, let's move along.
You know, we got some music experts in the booth, and you're fucking with them, too.
You're stumping them.
Well, I just met them.
I should probably be a little rude to be fucking with them so quickly.
Here we go.
All right, this next one.
More obscurity.
Oh, right.
Not a clue.
I'm noticing a recurring motif.
Here's the hook.
It's called 442 Glenwood Avenue.
Nope.
Yep.
That's where Helen Shapiro lived.
They made two appearances.
Here's the other reason you should know them.
They made two appearances on the Ted Mack Amateur Hour.
Gil, anything?
No.
Besides what he did, Paul.
Dave's experts, nothing.
This is very upsetting.
Paul has managed to take a fun premise.
Yeah. And turn it into take a fun premise. Yeah, yeah.
And turn it into a dull homework assignment.
Yeah, yeah.
But look at the things I'm opening, Paul.
I'm opening you up to some wonderful stuff.
This is just added to my list of reasons to never have Paul here ever again.
I thought it was a foolproof premise.
Can I mention it this time?
It was always enjoyable before,
and you fucking killed it.
Adorable, foolproof premise.
The audience could sing along.
Oh, I love that song.
It was relaxing.
You just unwind,
and you fucking killed him
there are five people sitting here
staring at him
I have to tell you how this all started too
earlier during the full episode
I said to Paul do you have the links for the mini
and he handed me like a 10 page
printout of all the YouTube links
nice
that's not how this works
this is our crack researcher folks
we're lucky we have any music at all here.
We're never going to have one of these premises ever again.
Thank you, Paul.
I'm just amazed Paul could get his 45s into the computer like that.
That's not easy.
You see, the premise is basically to come up with some that are stumpers.
Right.
But for the purposes of being entertaining.
Right.
And so the audience at home can say, oh my God, I know that song.
The premise is you don't want to throw yourself in front of a tree.
Choose that.
Choose songs that more than one person might know.
All right.
Well, I got two or three more.
I might be able to redeem myself.
It's sort of an audience identification.
Please. Stop. Please stop. of an audience identification. Please.
Stop.
Please stop.
Try the next one, Frank.
They should know this one.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
Let's get right to it.
Here we go.
I got this one.
Why?
Why?
This is The Seekers.
The Seekers.
Whoa.
I forgot the name of the goddamn song.
Hang on.
You ready?
Right.
Let's make this the one.
Yeah.
The Seekers.
Yep.
12 string guitar.
Yeah.
It's...
It's...
It's...
I'll never find another you.
I know I'll never find another you. I know I'll never find another you.
I know I'll never find another you.
Oh, okay.
You know this one, don't you?
Oh, yes, yes.
This one I know.
Paul, you've almost redeemed yourself.
No.
You know?
Not after the torture.
Here's something you were like, stop and tell now.
Which one of their songs
What I do
became
Cause I know
I'll never find
another you.
I love you guys singing that to me.
It's great.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
Well, there was the Seekers
and there was the New Seekers.
The New Seekers, that's right.
Well, their big hit was Georgie Girl.
I was just going to say,
well, yeah,
that was their monster hit.
That was it.
From the movie. Yeah. Correct big hit was Georgie Girl. I was just going to say, well, yeah. That was their monster hit. That was it. From the movie.
Yeah.
Correct.
I got one!
Correct.
You might get the next one.
Salvation.
So, it did not get, it was nominated for an Academy Award in 1967.
But it lost to...
1967?
1967.
Up the Down Staircase.
Give us the movie and we'll tell you the song.
This O.J. Moe, Sir With Love.
Recently we asked somebody, what song made you cry?
Or something like that.
And this was the answer.
This is the song.
Everything you've done has made me cry.
So the answer is Born Free.
Oh, it lost to Born Free.
Oh, okay.
John Barry.
Somebody just mentioned Born Free came up within the last couple of weeks.
It was Richard Marks.
Was it Richard Marks?
Yeah, he said Born Free made him cry.
That's right.
So this song lost Best Song, Oscar to Born Free.
Oh, well, we should be able to get this, Gilly.
Yeah, I'm hoping.
Is it Ellen Shapiro?
No, it was The Seekers.
Oh, you're giving the fact
after the song. Very good.
Okay, good.
All right, I've given up.
Okay, how many more you got?
Can we go now?
Gilbert's drinking bleach.
Are we there yet?
All right.
Try the next one, Frank.
All right.
I don't wanna.
No, this one you're totally gonna know.
Okay.
Some harmonica in there.
Oh, I know.
This is every retail commercial in the 70s.
Come in the shop, right?
We're can peas.
Yeah.
The garden walls.
Oh, God.
What is the name of the song?
You'll get around to it eventually.
God damn it.
It became a famous band, if that helps.
You want to love that you can be
Here in the game
With a sigh
Every variety show in the 70s covers this.
Donnie and Marie.
It's actually...
It's a great song.
It was first published in 1933
As piano sheet music
I'm gonna open a vein
What is the name of this song?
Deep Purple
Deep Purple
By Nino Tempo and April Stevens
Yeah, Donny Osmond covered this
So these
Tell me what nationality these people
Their real names are
Antonino and Carol
Vincenete Lotempio
My people
Your people
Yeah, what Gilbert calls
Fucking Dagos.
Yeah.
No, I call them fucking guineas.
My peeps.
I don't use the term Dago.
Deep purple.
Should have known that.
I say fucking guineas.
And it was played by Paul Whiteman's famous big band.
Yes, Paul Whiteman Orchestra.
I'm pretty sure Donny Osmond covered that song.
Do I have anything on this, Milstein?
Nah, he's not giving me a buy-in on that one.
All right, let's do one more, Frank.
We have exactly one more.
Because Gilbert is fashioning a rope together out of all of our sport coats.
Before he kicks the stool away.
He's making a rope out of crumbled up plastic bottles that he's got next to him.
Here we go.
You'll know this one.
Yeah.
No.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
This is called Land of a Thousand.
No.
Name of this fucking thing.
God.
These are...
I'm picturing Drew Carey doing this.
Yes, I know.
Drew Carey joke.
What the hell is the name of this thing?
You know it, Gilbert?
You recognize it?
I know the song, but I don't know the title or one word in it.
I'll give you some hints.
It was first recorded by the Isley Brothers.
Isley Brothers.
That helps.
And it was in what movie?
Maybe lots of them, but one that's notable.
Lots of movies.
Lots of movies.
Definitely the Drew Carey show.
Hillbill Volume 1.
Oh, okay.
Very good.
It's going to say Animal House.
And it's called Nobody But Me.
It's the human beans. B-E-I-N-Z. Oh, going to say Animal House. And it's called Nobody But Me. It's the human beans.
B-E-I-N-Z.
Oh, human beans.
Human beans.
And there was something that you should know, you will know now.
It's 31 repetitions of the word no fulfilled Casey Kasem's book of records category of the most repetitive word or phrase in a top 100 hit.
How about that, Gil?
Oh, boy.
A K.C. Kaysom reference.
I'm glad I came in.
What did it just beat in terms of frequency of a word?
Paul, would you get out?
Ain't no sunshine.
I know.
Ain't no sunshine.
And the repetition was I know.
Oh, very good.
Bill Withers, very good.
Okay.
That's it.
You stumped the shit out of us, Pat.
Yeah.
Wow.
I'm glad to see how you enjoyed it.
It warms my heart.
I can't say I enjoyed it.
No.
No, but on the other hand,
you did a creditable job
of coming up with...
It's a sign of respect
that I didn't give you easy ones.
You definitely did not give us easy ones.
This was where we got to kind of.
Yeah, maybe three.
Yeah, like, yeah.
Two or three where we went, ah, yeah.
I don't think there was one where we got the, I did one,
the Seekers doing Never Find Another You.
But that was the only one where we got the title and the artist.
In the year 2525.
And you threw that one.
That was a layup you threw at us.
Wow.
And now here's Sting to take us out.
Fucking ponderous.
That's fucking fun.
That's all I got.
That's the whole thing right there.
That's a pretty impressive record collection.
I have to say.
That is.
That's surreal.
I noticed it was dominated by a lot of young women, so I guess I have some idea what I was to say. That is. That's surreal. I noticed it was dominated
by a lot of young women,
so I guess I have some idea
what I was thinking about
in those days.
Dominating young women.
Frankie, you want to take us
out on Surfing Bird?
Oh, absolutely.
As Gilbert signs off.
By the way,
there's a great video.
I don't want to listen
to you anymore.
Anyway, this has been
Gilbert and Frank's
amazing colossal obsessions
and Paul's farewell. colossal obsessions. And Paul's farewell.
That was so sad.
That was so sad.
Picked his own farewell music.
Good night and good luck.
Thanks, Frank.
Thanks, Dave Seidel.
Thanks, Dave Milstein.
Thank you, Paulie.
Thank you.
Did anyone think this was going to go any differently?
I'm just... No.
Nope.
Nope. Of the night Once again I hold you tight
Though you're gone in love
With sun, wind, moonlight, and me
And as long as my heart will beat
Sweet lovers will always meet
Here in my deep purple dream
When the deep purple falls
Over sleepy garden walls
And the stars begin to twinkle
In the sky
In the midst, in the sky, in the mist of a memory Once again I hold you tight
Though you're gone, you're lost
There's someone who might be
And as long as my heart will beat
Sweet lovers will always be
Here in my deep purple dreams
And as long as my heart will be Sweet lovers will always be
Here in my deep purple dreams
Purple dreams.
Here in my deep purple dreams.
Here in my deep purple dreams.