Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini-Ep #26: Michael Clayton and HUD
Episode Date: September 10, 2015Each week, comedian Gilbert Gottfried and comedy writer Frank Santopadre share their appreciation of lesser-known films, underrated TV shows and hopelessly obscure character actors -- discussing, diss...ecting and (occasionally) defending their handpicked guilty pleasures and buried treasures. This week: The late, great Sydney Pollack! The cinematography of James Wong Howe! And Gilbert croons the theme song from "The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean!" If you've got a car and a license, put 'em both to work for you and start earning serious, life-changing money today. Sign up to drive with Uber. Visit www.DriveWithUber.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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That's the sound of unaged whiskey transforming into Jack Daniel's Tennessee whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee.
Around 1860, Nearest Green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time.
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Tennessee sounds perfect.
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Gilbert Podfried, P-O-D-F-R-I-E-D. You see, it's kind of a pun on the last name.
Ah, never mind. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre,
and this is Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsession.
Beautifully done. Yes. And now I know one or two of you might have been complaining.
Or 80.
Yeah, well, 80.
You know, we didn't do an exact count.
But it could be in the thousands or it could be one or two.
We don't have ways for knowing for sure.
We're complaining, saying that the sound quality on our last episode was pure and total shit.
I think was.
Some people suggested it was done in the men's room at the Friars.
Yes.
Yeah.
But it would have been a lot better.
More interesting.
And probably had Freddie Roman in it. Yes, yeah. But it would have been a lot better. More interesting.
And probably had Freddie Roman in it. But see, what we should say is we did that on purpose
because we wanted it to be like the Blair Witch Project.
We wanted to originally say we found this footage lost in the forest
and everyone from this documentary film crew has died.
But they told us what films they liked before they died.
What can we say?
It's not that professional an operation.
It's not.
It's not.
The mics are bad.
The sound system's horrible.
For Christ's sakes, do you think I want Frank as a co-host?
No.
No.
I'm telling you, everything could be better.
How did I know it was going to go in that direction?
So if you want some better audio, send us checks.
Yes.
Yeah.
We'll send an...
Patreon.com. Patreon.com. Yes. Yeah. We'll send an...
Patreon.com.
Patreon.com.
Right.
Write better audio.
Slash Gilbert Gottfried.
Slash Gilbert Gottfried.
Some people would like to slash Gilbert Gottfried. Yes.
A lot of people want me dead.
Anyway, the movie I recommended last week, in case you couldn't hear it, was The Little
Fugitive.
Yes.
We'll say a couple of words again about it for people who couldn't hear it, was The Little Fugitive. Yes. We'll say a couple of words again about it for people who couldn't hear it.
He was a little boy, and his day, and he thinks the police are after him,
and he escapes to Coney Island.
Right.
And the whole, it was a movie that influenced the French New Wave.
Correct.
And this was a new wave the French had
because they used to do it with their palms forward.
The old wave.
Yeah.
But the new wave was the back of the hand
and they'd wave back and forth.
It's a film that's near and dear to your heart
because you're from Coney Island.
I was born in Coney Island.
Right.
And it just brings back memories.
Yeah, because we talk a lot about movies that are set in old New York.
Oh, yeah.
And this one really captures Brooklyn and Coney Island.
We talked about the subway train.
Oh, yeah, and the subways.
And I remember the steeplechase ride that were these wooden horses on tracks,
and they would go around the roof and then i remember there was like a
clown with a whip when you were going by and and there was those uh they blow women's skirts yeah
they would blow women's skirts up and a machine there that blow women's skirts up and there was
like the revolving floor that would go in the opposite
direction and all of that stuff shut down what in the 60s yeah late 60s they uh all of it's gone
yeah so and the little fugitive was we said last week and we'll just say it again it's worth
repeating was made by a couple morris engel and ruth orkin who was a very famous black and white
photographer and i misspoke last week i think I said it was shot in 16 millimeter.
And since then I did a little research and I think it was shot in 35
millimeter.
Yeah.
So,
but it was very much a homemade movie.
The sound was put in later.
Correct.
And Francois Truffaut.
That's right.
Was very influenced.
And as I said,
I saw Scorsese talk about it and introduce it.
And I,
as I,
and I think the new school, very influential film. And you think you saw I said, I saw Scorsese talk about it and introduce it at, I think, the New School.
Very influential film.
You think you saw Scorsese.
I think I saw it.
It could have been just some homeless man.
It could have been.
It might not have been the New School.
Very bushy eyebrows.
Yes.
A homeless man.
A short guy who didn't trim his eyebrows was talking about the film.
He said, ah, Scorsese.
I was at a party
with, I was
at a fundraiser, and Eugene
Levy was at the table, and a drunk woman came over
and said to me, could you do me a favor?
Could you take a picture of me and Mr. Scorsese?
And Eugene loved that.
So The Little Fugitive, worth seeing.
Yes.
Definitely.
And also in that movie is one guy playing the photographer is Will Lee.
Oh, that's right. Who is in Sesame Street as Mr. Hooper.
That's right.
And like I said last week, there was one part in Sesame Street where they go, he says to them, Merry Christmas.
And they say, and Happy Hanukkah.
And that spoke to you.
Yes, yes.
Because it proves that Mr. Hooper, there was a Jew living on Sesame Street.
Well, Ernie was Jewish, wasn't he?
Oh, yes.
Yes.
So The Little Fugitive, I also talked about Sideways last week,
and I won't say that much about it in case people did listen to last week's episode.
It suffered terribly through the bad audio.
Paul Giamatti, Thomas Hayden Church.
Yeah, who I worked with on Wings.
You worked with on Wings.
He's a funny actor.
And written by Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor.
Google it.
Watch it.
It's available everywhere.
Terrific comedy.
And a great moving performance by Paul Giamatti,
who we talked about last week, the son of the former commissioner of baseball by Paul Giamatti,
who we talked about last week,
the son of the former commissioner of baseball, Bart Giamatti. Yes, I knew his father had something to do with sports,
and I remember I was going, was he a hockey player or something?
You are a sports maven.
Check out our upcoming episode with Bob Costas
to see just how much Spence Gilbert actually knows.
So moving on.
Yes.
Let's pick two new ones for this week.
And I'm going to go first and go quickly.
Yeah, that's what your wife said.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
I'd like to spend each Sunday with you.
As friend to friend, I'm sorry we're through.
I'm telling you how I feel.
I hope you feel
That way too
Is that Rudy Valli?
No, no, I can't.
It's too early in the day
to get my voice to a full Eddie Cantor.
Oh, it's Eddie Cantor.
You just woke up.
You could have fooled me.
Michael Clayton is the picture
that I want to talk about,
which is kind of a 70s-esque thriller, a little bit,
and a cousin of a movie like Three Days of the Condor,
movies we've talked about.
Yes.
Movies we've talked about off mic, like Parallax View,
All the President's Men.
It's a legal thriller.
It's very smart.
Written and directed by a guy named Tony Gilroy
who wrote a movie I know you like,
The Devil's Advocate.
Oh, yes.
Because you told Paul Scheer
that you liked that movie.
He also wrote Dolores Claiborne,
a movie called State of Play
with our friend Josh Mostel.
And I won't say too much about it
because it's a film full of surprises
and twists and turns.
But George Clooney plays a legal fixer
who fixes problems for a law firm,
gets clients in trouble, out of trouble.
Tom Wilkinson, the British actor,
has a great performance in it.
And Sidney Pollack, who directed Three Days in the Condor and made those kind of thrillers, turns up in the film as the head of the law firm.
And I just saw Sidney Pollack.
They reran Eyes Wide Shut.
Oh, and he's in that.
And he's in that.
Right.
Right.
He plays a weirdo.
Yeah.
He plays kind of a scary guy.
Yeah.
He's in with that whole weird sex organization.
What do you think of that movie off the subject?
I liked Nicole Kidman's ass in that movie.
That's the one you have to say about.
There is one scene where she's standing in front of the mirror.
Yeah.
And I thought Nicole Kidman back then had the best ass possible.
That's terrific.
Yeah.
That's your review
of Eyes Wide Shut.
Yeah.
Best,
if you want to see
Nicole Kidman's ass.
Give it to Chief.
See?
What about the rest
of the film?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But,
there were a couple
of other girls there
naked at the party.
That's right.
Yeah.
So you didn't see the digitized version where they took the nudity out.
Oh, that sucks.
Yeah.
I saw when they show showgirls on TV, they have these blurry floating bikinis on the girls.
Isn't that strange?
It's weird.
And one on Kyle MacLachlan, too, which makes no sense.
Joke.
Yeah, so just getting back real quick to Michael Clayton,
produced by Steven Soderbergh,
who made another Clooney picture I love called Out of Sight,
which we'll talk about on another show.
But 2007, we usually recommend older films, but that's
a pretty new film. It won a ton of awards.
Tilda Swinton's great.
If you like thrillers and you like movies
with twists and turns, smart films.
In The Devil's Advocate, there's
a very quick nude
scene. Charlize? It's Charlize
Theron. You are
Mr. Skin. Oh, yes. And
she was in I forget the name of the movie I was in,
A Million Ways to Die in the West.
That's right.
Yeah.
Did you tell her you admired her new scene?
Yes.
No, she wasn't there when I was there.
I think she purposely, I think that was in her rider.
She rearranged the shooting schedule.
Hey, everybody.
We wanted to take a moment to talk to you about driving with Uber again.
Why?
Because it's really a great opportunity to make some legitimate money.
If you've taken Uber, you know how great the experience is.
And it's drivers who make the experience great.
Seriously, every time I talk to someone who drives with Uber, they only have great things to say.
Since when do you talk to people?
I don't. It's a lie.
When people talk to me, I say, please, I'm in show business, and I don't talk to red flags.
You know, I love talking to drivers.
I don't like talking to you, but I like talking to strangers.
Well, I wish you'd stop then.
I used to use a car service.
I won't mention the name, but the drivers, you know, they would drive very recklessly, very fast.
They'd always send you a 20-year-old kid with a lead foot.
You couldn't get them to slow down.
And when I take Uber, I have an entirely different experience.
I talk to them.
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They give me the ride that I want.
And I'm not antisocial like you.
No, you're anti-Semitic.
Yeah, that's your problem.
That's a whole other problem.
That we'll talk about later.
That's a whole other topic. That we'll talk about later.
And also, I've heard, you know, like if you drive with Uber, you know, you're your own boss.
True.
And the money's great.
And the way to start, you just need a car and a license.
And anyone who needs flexibility in their job, if you're a parent or a student,
they can work around your schedule.
I could even see you driving with Uber.
Yes.
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Get you a little chauffeur cab like Bruno Kirby in Mrs. Spinal Tap.
Now is the prime time to cash in driving with Uber.
You'll thank me for telling you how to get paid every week.
So.
Yes.
Yes.
What are you waiting for?
I'm not.
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So please leave.
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I have a license.
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uber.com you this week what do you got i pick a movie this is a very well respected film and i
respect it too what the hell and going back to scorsese he said a quote and i'm paraphrasing that
he can't imagine the movie industry the the world of movies, without Paul Newman.
Yeah, I've seen that.
That's great.
And so the movie I'm picking is HUD.
Oh.
And it's Paul Newman, Bren DeWild, and Patrick.
Patricia Neal.
Patricia Neal.
And, of course, Melvin Douglas.
Melvin Douglas, who is very important to note, is a Jew.
I had a feeling you were going there.
That's the reason.
You should see HUD.
Tell us the plot of HUD real quick.
I don't know the plot.
I know Melvin Douglas is a Jew, so you should see HUD.
Jew spotting nude scenes is really what you're...
Yeah, and when Melvin Douglas has a scene where he steps out of the shower.
I didn't realize that.
Yeah, yeah.
People, see the uncut version.
Uncut, what do you mean by uncut?
Then he wasn't a Jew.
Yeah, see, well, he was circumcised late in life.
And that was a very painful time of his life that he talks about.
So, Hutt is a Western directed by Martin Ritt.
Yes.
Who was blacklisted.
And it's got that, the legendary cinematographer.
Oh, I know who you're talking about.
Something.
James Wong Howe.
Yes.
Right.
Yes.
about something.
James Wong Howe.
Yes.
Right.
Yes.
And like they say,
James can't be Wong.
Wow.
It is early in the morning, folks.
If you doubted it at any point.
Yeah.
Paul Newman is one of these screw up guys.
He likes to, you know,
he fucks around. Melvinouglas is his dad yeah right and
gets into bar fights his dad is conscientious and a hard worker and brenda wilde is looking up to
paul he's the nephew yeah yes and he looks up to paul newman and oh it has a that one great line in it that one famous line where
melvin douglas says something like you know nobody uh you never loved anyone no one ever loved you
and and paul newman goes my mama loved me but she died oh i love that yeah i remember that yeah we
talked a lot about newman on show. He keeps coming up.
Yes.
It's like he was in The Life and Times of Judge Roy B.
Oh, I love that one.
With Stacey Keach.
Yeah, he's the albino gunman by Stacey Keach.
And Jacqueline Bissett and Victoria Principal.
Anthony Zerbe.
You know that actor?
Oh, yes.
He turns up in there.
And most importantly, the theme song was performed by Andy Williams.
How do you know this? And it's marmalade, molasses, and honey, cinnamon, and sassafras tea.
I know that life could be so happy and sunny.
If you'd go away with me, I know I'd really like to do. Head for the hills, the hills with you.
And here you say, hey, let's make a day of it.
Marmalade.
It's even funnier the second time.
That's what my wife said oh lord it is too early all right so recapping you're picking hud i picked um
tony gilroy and george clooney's wonderful Michael Clayton thriller,
and we recapped The Little Fugitive.
Yes, and we stated for a fact that the sound quality on this show is pure shit.
So send money, and we'll hire a professional engineer.
And I'll get a new co-host.
Oh, God, I dream of that. Give it a crack, Colossal Obsessions.
Give it a crack, Colossal Obsessions.
Give it a crack, Colossal Obsessions. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet.
The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It.
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