Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini-Ep #51: "Spiritual" Transformations

Episode Date: March 17, 2016

Each week, comedian Gilbert Gottfried and comedy writer Frank Santopadre share their appreciation of lesser-known films, underrated TV shows and hopelessly obscure character actors -- discussing, dissecting and (occasionally) defending their handpicked guilty pleasures and buried treasures. This week: "Get to Know Your Rabbit"! William Hurt sees the light! And Joe Piscopo tracks zombies! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Ah, never mind. Hello, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. We're here at Nutmeg Post with our engineer, Frank Ferdarosa, and this is Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions. So musical, the way you do it. Now, last time we spoke, you mentioned... You were running for a cab, as I recall. Yes, yes, that was it. And you mentioned the film regarding Henry.

Yes, I did, as a joke. Yeah, and for those of you who don't remember that, Harrison Ford gets shot in the head. By John Leguizamo. Yes. Of all people. Yes. Yeah, it was a Puerto Rican hold-up guy. That's right.

Young John Leguizamo. In a store that Harrison Ford happens to be buying cigarettes or whatever, and he gets shot in the head. Now, Harrison Ford getting shot in the head, according to that movie, makes him a better husband and a better man. Like, you realize he's not really a good guy before that. He's selfish and just cares about business. Then he becomes some...

Yeah, so it shows you that it's good to be shot in the head. And I thought of two other movies like that. Really? That's a sub-genre? Yes. Okay. Yes. One of them, what is it?

William Hurt. Oh, The Doctor. Yes,. Okay. Yes. Okay. One of them, what is it? William Hurt. Oh, The Doctor. Yes, The Doctor. Yes, I know that movie. Which proves you're a better husband, better man, and better doctor if you get cancer. Okay. Because William Hurt is a doctor who is diagnosed with cancer. Before that, he's just very businesslike.

Some of his patients live, some die. But then when he gets cancer, he's totally better. He's a better human being and a more understanding doctor and a better husband. Okay. I buy it. Now. I want to know where you're going with this. One third one.

I remember. Okay. Give me a hint. Okay. Richard Krenner. Oh, wait a minute now. Is this a TV movie? TV movie.

Is this by any chance? we've talked about this movie. Is this by any chance the rape of Richard Beck? Yep. Yep. So we've already had Harrison Ford, who's a better husband and man and lawyer from being shot in the head. Right. We've got William Hurt, who's a better husband, man, and doctor from getting cancer. And we've got Richard Krenner.

He plays a cop. I like the way you say Krenner. Krenner. It's an A at the end. Yeah. Krenner. Krenner. We have Richard Krenner. say Krenner. It's an A at the end. Krenner. Krenner. We have Richard Krenner.

Richard Krenner. Richard Krenner. We have Richard Krenner. He's tracking down these two wild criminals. Yes. And they capture him and at gunpoint rape him. Correct. He's a cop.

The guy from The Real McCoys. Yes. Yes. He should have been used to it by then. Because Walter Brennan. Hey, I'm going to fuck you in the ass. You know, I'm going to bend you over, hit you in the ass. You know, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to bend you over, hit you in the ass.

And so they rape him. Yes. And before that, he's a cop. He's been on rape cases. He doesn't care about the women. He doesn't. But once he gets forcibly fucked in the ass, he's a much better person. In fact, I think the original.

Gene Shalit mentioned that very thing. It's word for word in his review. In fact, it was based on a book, Forcibly Fucked in the Ass. Really? Yes. I didn't realize that. By Agatha Christie. And his father's not very understanding.

Do you remember the actor playing his father? Oh, God. Great old character actor. I'll pull a name out of the air because I don't remember. I'll say Will Gere. No, no. Same physical type. Jack Albertson.

No, no. he was thin. How about Arthur O'Connell? No, that was good, though. Okay, I'm out of bullets. Hal Holbrook? No. Okay. Like a husky guy.

A husky guy. He'd a lot of times play southern characters. Ooh, Pat Hingle? Yes! Pat Hingle. Pat Hingle? Yes. Pat Hingle. Okay. Pat Hingle. I haven't seen this movie since the 70s.

Pat Hingle is Richard Crenner's father. Okay. And when Richard Crenner says- Or Crenna. Or Crenna. Pat Hingle says, how did you let them do that to you? And he goes, well, they were going to kill me. And Pat Hingle goes, you should have let them kill you.

Wow. Yeah. That's an understanding dad. Yes. So you're making the case here. Yeah. And I thought you were going to make the case because I think the doctor was in the 80s. and I think Regarding Henry was in the—or maybe they were both in the early 90s. But they kind of come out of that Reagan era of Hollywood cinema where the characters are very selfish and self-absorbed and think only of themselves until there's some kind of transformative experience.

Yeah, something bad happens that makes them better. It's kind of the asshole transformation genre. Yes. Yeah, something bad happens that makes them better. It's kind of the asshole transformation genre. Yes. Yeah. But the Crenna movie's from the 70s. In fact, I think the original Jekyll and Hyde was called the Asshole Transformation. Really?

But they had a harder time getting it in bookstores. I wonder if this is finding its way into the Gilbert Gottfried stand-up set, like the piece you used to do about it. You remember the bit you used to do about the island of the planet of three-name celebrities? Oh, my God, yeah. And the planet of single-name celebrities? Yeah, I would have to remember all the names of those people. You don't have to do it now.

But maybe this is something that should find its way into your act. It should because it is Harrison Ford, shot in the head, best thing that ever happened to him. I'm trying to think of another one. And William Hurt, cancer, greatest thing ever. And, of course, Richard Crenna getting forcibly fucked in the ass. That's how you become a better person.

So I'm going to throw it out to our listeners. If you could think of... I don't know what we can even call this. Forcibly fucked in the ass. No. Asshole.

Asshole transformation. Let's not call it that. Films of Bandara sitting here on research. Gilbert said, Dara, come into the room in case I need research. What is she sitting there for? I remember years ago being in some awful play somewhere. And I saw one of the actresses pop up in one of the Charles Bronson Death Wish sequels.

Okay. And she plays a maid who is forcibly fucked in the head. Maybe we should do a whole forcibly fucked in the head. Is that your colossal obsession? So I said to him when this started there, I said, do you have something? Oh, yes, I have something.

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Exclusive podcast merchandise, video hangouts, so you can see how beautiful we are. And just added, I will record a personalized roast of you and only you so you could share it with your friends. Me telling you what a schmuck you are. Go to patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. That's patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash Gilbert Gottfried. And thank you for your generosity. Okay, so we'll put it out to our listeners. If you guys can come up with any films, TV movies, or theatrical features about characters who went through transformations because of a tragedy and became better people.

That's what you're driving at here. Okay. I can't even think of one off the top of my head, and yet I know I've seen a bunch of them. Oh, yeah. But I remember those three vividly. Okay. And because I was so rudely cut off last night,

Yes. I'd also like to invite our listeners to send ideas or to send buddy movies, buddy cop movies specifically. Because we got cut off in the middle of talking about that. Because I was talking about the cop and the kid or the cop and the half with Burt Reynolds. And I was talking about Stopper, My Mom Will Shoot. And I was talking about, what was the other one? We talked about real bad ones. Alienation with the alien and and is paired with a cop.

And there's one called The Hidden with, I think, Kyle MacLachlan. What? Yes. Where he's also an extraterrestrial. I think Claudia Christian, who used to be an actress, very popular. Yeah. Sounds familiar. Sounds familiar.

And then there's the Schwarzenegger where he's the Russian with Jim Belushi. Oh, my God, yes. I think that was called Red something. Yes. Red Dawn or Red something. And there's something, not Red Dawn. Red Dawn was a war movie. But there's just so many of them.

Yeah. So many odd pairings. And they were horrible. Odd cop pairings. So I wanted our listeners to send those in. Forget the name of them. Yeah. So many odd pairings. And they were horrible. Odd cop pairings. So I wanted our listeners to send those in. And I always forget the name of it. Which one? The John Shook Show.

Oh, Holmes and Yo-Yo. Oh, yes. Yeah, that was a TV show. But there was a whole series of these just, and the one, they made one with Whoopi where she's a cop paired with a dinosaur. Oh, Theodore Rex. Yes. Right. Oh, God, that was...

We have to talk to Whoopi about that. We'll talk to Whoopi about that. Yeah, that was a bad one. I'm sure she'll be forthcoming about it. So they figured out a way to pair a cop. And that Theodore Rex was a guy in a dinosaur suit. Pretty much, yes. Much like, what was that TV

show? Dinosaurs. Dinosaurs. Yeah. Where it was like a sitcom. It was weird. It was like some Simpsons, Flintstones, weirdo hybrid with dinosaurs. Yeah. I think it was a Henson thing. Yeah. It just looked like a regular script of a sitcom.

Right. With the father, mother, and kids. And instead of people, they were dinosaurs. And it was disturbing to watch. Correct. What's the name? Look at the Schwarzenegger picture. I think it was Schwarzenegger and Jim Belushi. And they were cops. And it's the mismatched duo and the buddies. And one of them's a Rusky. What's that called? Red something. And then there's one.

What was the other one? There's one with Piscopo. Yes, and Treat Williams. Red Heat. Yes, Red Heat. The one with Piscopo and Treat Williams is called Dead Heat. Yes. And I believe they're hunting zombies.

Yes. And is Vincent Price in there? He might be. I think he might be because it was like a mad doctor who's created. And in the movie, Treat Williams gets bitten by a zombie. Sounds right. So now it's Piscopo as a regular cop and his buddy, Treat Williams. Oh, he starts to become a zombie.

Yes. Okay, so we've got a cop paired with a zombie. We've got a cop paired with an alien. We've got a cop paired with a toddler. A cop paired with his own mother. Yes. And a dinosaur. And this just brings to mind another horrible movie.

But I just thought of, because it's also got Joe Piscopo in it. That movie with Joe Piscopo and Danny DeVito. Oh, Wise Guys. That was De Palma's attempt at a comedy. That was, you know how we were talking, we were talking recently about great directors who aren't considered good at comedy. Well, you're talking about it with Ileana Douglas. Yes. Yeah.

Like, and I guess Brian De Palma. He goes on the list. He's on that list of should not do comedy. Well, he did some comedies early in his career, like Hi Mom and Greetings with De Niro. And then a movie called Get to Know Your Rabbit that I believe has John Astin and Tommy Smothers in it, if I'm remembering correctly. And I think, now I get a chance to sing go i think in the movie hi mom yeah uh oh greetings greetings it's about a guy being drafted right and and i think the theme song went greetings greetings greetings we would like a word with you greetings greetings greetings spend a day or two with uncle

spend a day or two with uncle sam frank can you confirm or deny that that was the theme song from Greetings, an obscure Brian De Palma movie? I cannot. Okay, good. So where do we want to leave off here? I'm so discombobulated. You started by talking about this genre of films. Of shot in the head. Shot in the head, get cancer, something happens.

Fucked in the ass. Fucked in the ass. Fucked in the ass. Right. And I want to remind our viewers and our listeners, I'd like to remind our listeners that if you have cancer and are shot in the head while getting fucked up the ass, you will be practically a saint. You're giving comfort to the people who find themselves in that situation.

It's very admirable. So anybody that has any ideas about that, send them to us. Post them on Facebook or tweet. A million people tweeted about Viva Laughlin because we couldn't think of the name of it. Oh, yes. So we appreciate that. And also buddy cop movies. Bad buddy cop movies, good buddy cop movies.

Not a lot in the 70s or 60s. And I forget, what was the one, the series with Don Adams? Oh, The Partners. The Partners, yes. With the very famous Rupert Cross. Ah, yes. Yeah, Don Adams apparently not an easy guy to work with. That's what I've heard. That's what I've heard, too. Yeah, Don Adams apparently not an easy guy to work with. That's what I've heard.

That's what I've heard, too. Yeah. All right, that's all I got. Dara? Nothing. Okay. Take us out. I'm Gilbert Gottfried

with my co-host Frank Santopadre at Nutmeg Post with our engineer Frank Ferdarosa and this has been Gilbert and Frank's Shot in the Head Cancer. You know, maybe you should have done that.

Maybe when you met Harrison Ford and you said you blew it, maybe you should have said you should have brought up. Maybe that would have been a better in. In retrospect. Yeah, I had a horrible meeting with Harrison yeah yeah we've talked about it it's on the robert wall and it wasn't his fault it was mine but i could have just said i liked you in star wars and i've been done with it right you i i enjoyed blade runner yeah anything else just get out a billion things i go through it in my head uh 10 times a

day at least i'm sure you do it's on the robert wool episode for people that want to hear the full story okay we'll see you next time Thank you. Colossal Obsessions