Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini-Ep #58: Robots Redux and Legends of the Superheroes

Episode Date: May 5, 2016

Each week, comedian Gilbert Gottfried and comedy writer Frank Santopadre share their appreciation of lesser-known films, underrated TV shows and hopelessly obscure character actors -- discussing, dissecting and (occasionally) defending their handpicked guilty pleasures and buried treasures. This week: "Klaatu barada nikto!" Charlie Callas cashes a check! And Jeff Ross roasts the Caped Crusader! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Because the Skip app saves you so much time by delivering stuff like your favorite cool treats, groceries, and bevies, you get more time to have the best summer ever. Like riding roller coasters. Learning to water ski. Applying sunscreen to your dad's back. Yep, definitely the best summer ever. Squeeze more summer out of summer with Skip. Yep, definitely the best summer ever. Squeeze more summer out of summer with Skip. Did somebody say Skip?

That's the sound of unaged whiskey transforming into Jack Daniel's Tennessee whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Around 1860, Nearest Green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time. This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions. Why do you sound like someone who just learned to speak phonetically?

Cliff Robertson and Charlie. Good lord. You got it, though. Nice work. Now, we were talking on the last episode about robots. We were with our pal Paul Rayburn, who's here with us. And you brought up, and before anyone had a chance to complain about it, Gort. Gort from The Day the Earth Stood Still, I came up with. Yes, Klaatu Barada Niktu.

Correct, correct. And the only other one I thought of off the top of my head, and I know we're forgetting hundreds of them. Now, before we leave that movie alone, that was Michael Rennie. Sure, who was a Batman villain. Ah, yes, yes. But in that movie, what is so... Also, it has the great Sam Jaffe and who says such power

exists. That's good stuff. Early Robert Wise movie. And I think, does it have it has is it one of the, is it Francis Bouvier from?

Who does it have? Someone from Andy Griffith. Maybe. Unless it has Floyd the Barber. I have to double check. I haven't seen it since film school days. But what's so creepy about that movie, and that they could never do now, he's a boarder.

He goes into this house, this strange young guy boarder, single guy, who makes friends with a little boy and takes him to the park and spends the day with him. They could never do that now. Especially if you were playing that part. Oh, yeah. Well, because I'd write in that he has a van. And I'm going, I'm looking for my puppy.

Can you come? Oh, my God. It's a hell of a film. I haven't seen it in many years. But, yeah, Gort from The Day the Earth Stood Still came to mind. And the fembots from Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine. Oh, yes. The fembots from Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine. Oh, yes, the fembots with Vincent Price. Oh, the fembots.

Or the sexbots. Yes, the women. It's so frightening. And you thought of one. You thought of a robot that you just pulled out on me. Yes. I never thought of a robot that you just pulled out on me. Yes. From the show I watched like all my childhood.

Me too. Superman with George Reeves. They had Professor Periwinkle. Sure. And he created a robot called Mr. McTavish. Very good. It's a little like John MacGyver. Yes, yes.

Your impression of Professor Periwinkle. I remember that. And the problem was when Mr. McTavish would meet Superman, Superman would get weak. That's right. And he found out that the thing empowering, giving the power to Mr. McTavish was kryptonite. Cool. I remember that. Yeah, I'm still kicking myself that we missed out on Jack Larson.

Oh, my God. Because we love that show. And Phyllis Coates is still around, and Noel Neal is still around, the two actresses who play Lois Lane. I don't know what shape they're in, but maybe we should. They've both got to be in their 90s. Oh, geez. But maybe we should, they've both got to be in their 90s. Oh, jeez. But maybe we should reach out.

Anyway, so when the robot episode, by this time the robot episode has already been up, but keep sending your robot suggestions, your pop culture robots. Since Gilbert, this all started with Gilbert's obsession with the Scarlett Johansson robot. Well, but that was for other reasons. Of course. I wouldn't be using Mr. McTavish for the same reason that I'd be using the mechanical Scarlett Johansson. Don't say too much. Yeah.

Speaking of Superman. I would wear out that machine in no time. Speaking of Superman. Yes. There's been a lot of... We also touched in the episode with Steve Weber. We touched upon this thing called... Yeah, we touched in that episode.

We all touched. We talked about this thing called the Legends of the Superheroes, which when I brought it up with you and Steve, you were both unfamiliar with it. But now I've exposed you to some of it. Oh, my God. Yeah. And what did you think? Yes.

There were two clips. One was the superhero roast. Yeah, hosted by Ed McMahon. Oh my God. Yeah. With Jeff Altman. Did you see Jeff Altman as the weather wizard?

Oh my God, yes. It was... Imagine the very, very worst parts of the Dean Martin roast, the weakest Dean Martin roast, and multiply it by a trillion. With bad costumes and even worse special effects. Oh, it was horrifying. It was those kind of jokes that you could have written the jokes right as they were calling action. Yeah. That's how bad these jokes are. And did you notice who the actor was that played Retired Man, the elderly superhero?

Oh, no. It was William Shallard. Oh, jeez. There you go. There you go. And the other one, the Legends of the Superheroes, there's one part. What's that character's name again? Grogan or?

Solomon Grundy. Solomon Grundy, who's a big, scary, you know, Hulk. Yeah, yeah. And Adam West and Burt Ward as Batman and Robin, they have a scene where he works in a gas station. That doesn't make any sense. No, he pulls the wires out of it. He's the most powerful villain. He pulls the wires out of their cars so their Batmobile doesn't run. Then there is the clumsiest, quickest, clumsiest,

fakest looking fight scene. Awful. And what happens at the end? Solomon Grundy does not kill Batman and Robin. He just stands there and Batman and Robin casually

walk away saying, well, we'll get you. Well, the fight scene wasn't in the budget. Yeah. Gary Owens was the narrator. I mean, this thing's full of interesting performers. Oh, my God. Ruth Buzzy shows up in the roast part. Oh, yes.

Gorshin, who you said looked like he'd rather be anywhere else. Gorshin was. As the Riddler. Yeah. There were a couple. There was Gorshin and Charlie Callis. Charlie Callis was Sinestro, who was Green Lantern's... It looked like when they gave them the offer, they said, well, you pay, right?

Yeah, okay. Howard Morris. Yes! Did you see Howard Morris as Dr. Savannah? And also Gabe Dell from the Dead End. Oh, yeah. It's just terribly depressing. They aired in 1979 in two parts.

The first part was The Challenge, and then the second part was The Roast. Oh, God, yes. And I watched a little doc about these two specials. They were prime time. Yeah. On NBC, 1979. They were two of the lowest rated shows of the year. Produced by Hanna-Barbera.

Yes, of Flintstones and Jetsons fame. Really, really terrible. Did you, but we have to talk about, oh, Pat Carroll turns up to talk. But the thing about Hanna-Barbera is even as a kid, and I'd watched the Flintstones, even as a kid, I understood that Hanna Barbera were quickie low budget crap. Not to mention rip offs. Not to mention that the Flintstones

was the Honeymooners. Oh yeah. And Yogi Bear was what? Art Carney? Oh yes. Yeah he was Art Carney you know. Instead of hey Ralphie boy. Hey boo boo. And Top Cat was Bilko. Oh, yes, and that was Arnold Stang doing Phil Silvers.

Oh, and another guy we have to get on this show, Kidman. Yeah, Marvin Kaplan. Kat Kaplan. Marvin Kaplan. But before we move on from Challenge of the Super Friends or Legends of the Super Heroes, I have to mention Ghetto Man. Yes.

Which is the low point. I don't even understand it. I watched some of it. Somebody thought this was funny. Hanna-Barbera's attempt to be hip. And come up with, I don't know what this was. It's a black

superhero doing stand-up. Yeah. There's no other way to describe it. Yeah, it's the worst of anything you've seen on Showtime at the Apollo. And Pat Carroll shows up as Hawkman's mother. It's just, like I said, Ruth Buzzy. There's a Rona Barrett parody. Oh, yes! A woman named Rhod Barrett parody. Oh, yes!

A woman named Rhoda Ruder. Oh, yes! It's just the absolute pits. And for people who don't know, Rona Barrett was the gossip person years ago. Now everyone's the gossip person. Years ago, she was it for every television show. It's just the worst. And you can see, I think it came out on DVD, but was it for every television show. It's just the worst. And you can see, I think it came out on DVD, but you can see clips of it.

Mike McPadden wrote it up on Facebook. Yeah, it is frightening. Yeah, if you can find the roast, that's even worse. Yes. Don't forget to follow us on our Facebook page. Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast, on Twitter at Real Gilbert ACP, and on Instagram, Gilbert Podfried, P-O-D-F-R-I-E-D. You see, it's kind of a pun on the last name.

Ah, never mind. So it just got me to thinking about bad superhero. Yes. Interpretations. Well, Manimal. Yeah, Manimal. Manimal. It's about a guy.

His power is to turn into any animal. Manimal. The legendary Simon McCorkindale. Ah, yes. That was in the 80s. Yeah. Manimal. There was also Auto Man with Desi Arnaz Jr.

How could that be? Which we touched upon. In the 90s, there was Mantis and a show called Night Man. Do you remember Night Man? Oh, the title. I don't even know what the premise of that was. I think it was a show called Nightman. Do you remember Nightman? Oh, the title. I don't even know what the premise of that was. I think it was a guy that never sleeps or can't fall asleep. So a guy with amnesia.

Right, right. Not amnesia, insomnia. Right. A guy with insomnia, that's his... I think that was the premise. One more thing I want to add about roasts, too, is that I found, and I don't know if you know this even exists, I found an episode of a Batman cartoon called The Brave and the Bold where Jeff Ross, our friend Jeff Ross, is roasting Batman. Oh.

It's an animated Jeff Ross in a Batman cartoon. Oh, jeez. And they've got the penguin and the Riddler and Catwoman and Mr. Freeze. And they're all sitting there on a dais. And the Joker has tied Batman to a spit, to a rotating spit. Oh, jeez. And there's Jeffrey Ross as the Roastmaster. Back to Nightman for a minute? Yeah, tell us about Nightman.

After being struck by lightning, a San Francisco musician can tune into others' evil thoughts. I love that. Now, didn't they at any point say, hey, shut the fuck up. That's really a stupid idea. Say it again, Paul, because I'm going to repeat it. After being struck by lightning, a San Francisco musician can tune into others' evil thoughts. That was the premise. How could that not work?

I don't know. But also there was something about him never going to sleep. Let's hear what members have told us. One member said, I would recommend my therapist 1,000 times over. She has truly changed my life. Another member said, The day after my first session, my friends and family said I sounded like myself again for the first time in weeks. You deserve to invest in your well-being.

Visit BetterHelp.com to see what it can do for you. That's BetterHelp.com. The ScoreBet app here with trusted stats and real-time sports news. Yeah, hey, who should I take in the Boston game? Well, statistically speaking. Nah, no more statistically speaking. I want hot takes. I want knee-jerk reactions.

That's not really what I do. Is that because you don't have any knees? The score bet. Trusted sports content. Seamless sports betting. Download today. 19 plus. Ontario only.

If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to connexontario.ca. How do stop losses work on Kraken? Let's say I have a birthday party on Wednesday night, but an important meeting Thursday morning. So sensible me pre-books a taxi for 10 p.m. with alerts. Voila. I won't be getting carried away and staying out till 2. That's stop-loss orders on Kraken. An easy way to plan ahead. Go to kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Non-investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See kraken.com

slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. Yeah, we'll have to dig that out. Anyway, that was Nightman. I'm sure there are fans who remember it better than we do. That keeps you on the edge of your seat. He's not sleeping! I was in a few superhero cartoons. You were.

You were in a live-action superhero show. I was in about two, three episodes of Superboy. Right. I was Nick-Nack. That's right. three episodes of Superboy. Right. I was Nick-Nack. That's right. The Master of Toys. The syndicated Superboy show. And then I was in the Superman cartoon that Tim Daly was the voice of Superman. I was Miss Yes Picklick.

I remember. I was in about two, three episodes of that. And I did a Justice League. You did? Yeah. What, a Justice League? Yes. Oh, an animated Justice League.

Yeah. Right. And I heard somebody say they saw it, so I guess it's okay to mention it. Yeah. Well, you had your day in the superhero song. And I got to sing two songs. Go ahead. Two superhero songs.

Go. First, there was Captain Nice. Oh, sure. Well, you know, William Daniels is around. Got to have him on. We should track him down. Now, Benjamin, that idea seems pretty half-baked. That's what he says in The Graduate.

Oh, William Daniels. Right, right, right. And Dustin Hoffman goes, oh, no, it's completely baked. Completely baked. Now, Alice Ghostly was the mother of William Daniels. Yes, yes. And she had to be younger than he was. And they were both showing at the same time Captain Nice and Mr. Terrific.

We've talked about Mr. Terrific with John MacGyver. But John MacGyver, they were both knockoffs in response to Batman's success in 66. So, I mean, with Mr. Terrific, I remember that music was... A show that ran 17 episodes and has never reappeared in syndication, Paul, and yet he remembers the theme song. Now that's uncanny. And Captain Knight, of course. Look, it's the man who flies around like an eagle. Look, it's the man who hates all that's illegal.

Who is this man with arms built just like hammers? It's just some nut who flies around in pajamas. That's no nut, son. That's Captain Nice. I love it. Carter Nash was the name of the character. He was a police chemist played by William Daniels, and he took a magic potion that made him into Captain Nice.

Yes. And Mr. Terrific, and this was entirely a different premise, he took a magical power pill. See? Very different. Very different. See? Right.

And Dick Godier was in that show. Oh, my God. Jaime the Robot Godier was in that show. Oh, my God. Jaime the Robot. He was in Mr. Terrific. And the infamous Stephen Strimpell, whatever happened to him, played Mr. Terrific. And according to what I read on Wikipedia, it was supposed to be Alan Young from Mr. Ed. And the other song I know, and this is from a cartoon with someone who's mentioned a lot on this podcast, Wally Cox. Oh, there you go.

Underdog. It was a good superhero show. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Oh, when criminals in this world appear and break the laws that face us dear And frighten those who see and hear The crime goes half a far in here For underdog, underdog, underdog, underdog Speed of lightning, roar of thunder

Frighten those who rob or blunder. Underdog. Underdog. Underdog. That was beautiful. And who was Underdog's arch nemesis? Oh, God. Do you remember?

He was a mad scientist. Oh. And he sounded exactly like Lionel Barrymore. Oh, yeah. Simon Bar Sinister. Oh, there were so many cartoons where people would imitate Lionel Barrymore. Yeah, yeah. Because whenever you heard that voice.

Simon Bar Sinister sounded exactly like Mr. Potter. I don't know who was doing it. Maybe Larry Storch. Anyway, that's it for robots and superheroes for this week. So send us your bad superhero shows, your bad superhero memories. I didn't even mention the 67 Wonder Woman pilot. That was Underdog, which we both liked. It was fun.

Yeah, that was a good cartoon yeah uh but was that they used to play with go-go gophers i think oh which was that made by uh by the uh the rocky and bullwinkle people i think so i think so jay ward productions yeah it seems like it looked it had that look and kind of like a hip thing without being overly i think so we should know that so we'll look it up watts biggers so not a j not a j not a jay ward show underdog yeah interesting um next time we'll talk about the bad wonder woman pilot from the 70s and and a bunch of other stuff um that that never happened that never came to be so that's's it for robots. Continue to send us your robot memories and robots in pop culture

and bad superhero shows. And if that Japanese guy is through with the Scarlett Johansson All right, enough of that. Please, send it to me. Here we go, boys. One, two, three, four. Colossal Obsessions Colossal Obsessions