Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Raybone's Record Collection Encore
Episode Date: April 29, 2024GGACP bids a heartfelt farewell to our late colleague and occasional "researcher," the much-beloved Paul "Raybone"Raeburn, with this ENCORE of a mini-episode from 2019. This week: McCartney & Lennon!?... “Surfin’ Bird”! “Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows”! Gilbert covers Cyrkle! And the not-quite-triumphant return of Zager and Evans! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Here we go boys. 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1 with Frank Santopadre and this is Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsessions
with skinless, bloodless,
boneless, liverless,
spleenless, ray-bones.
Well, I notice I still have ears
because I'm going to need those
for this episode here.
What happened to your spleen?
Yeah.
No telling what kind of trouble
a spleen can run into.
I'm good, man.
How are you, Gilly?
I had a great day today.
You had a what?
I had a great day today.
Why don't you tell us about it?
Yeah, I'm going to do that.
Listening to my old 45s.
Ah!
You know?
You're giving us a little sneak preview.
Yeah.
Before we do that, I'm going to give out some gifts.
Okay.
These are goodies.
Gilbert loves to get gifts.
Why, yes!
Don't you, Gilbert?
Yes, I do!
These are sent to me because my office at ABC is now a clearinghouse for this stuff.
It's become a storeroom.
It's like turning into that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
They store everything at the end of the movie.
Anyway. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh always fun and you get with it the Horror Critics Journal and there's one for everybody there's one for Frank
there's one for Paul
there's one for Gilbert
you can write in that
look at that
excellent
a fan of the show
sent us some swag
we also got a big box
in my office
from our friends
at the Cartoon Network
from our friend
Ned Hastings
and he sent
DVDs of a show that I think
Frank's friend is starring in.
Matt Cervito. Matt Cervito, called
Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell.
I don't know. Dave Seidel is
nodding. Dave Milstein is nodding.
I don't know anything about this. I'm out of the loop, boys.
Matt's an awesome guy. You would know him
as the FBI agent from The Sopranos.
Ah, that guy. Oh, okay.
Look at that. There's your DVD,
Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell,
with two hours of uncensored extras, Raybone.
I'm taking that home.
Gifts for you.
There's one for you here, Frankie.
It's got a lot of Gilbert nudity in it.
Also a line notebook of Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell. Oh, see?
That I always like.
A beautiful spiral notebook.
One for you, Paulie.
Oh, this is a nice notebook.
Frank received his.
There is plenty more. They sent a giant box, a room
sized box of stuff. I love it. It's t-shirts,
it's adult
swim stuff, Venture Brothers,
all kinds of stuff. And I didn't have
room to bring it all. I've got to read one
tweet I got. Okay, go.
That, like, on a previous
show, somebody
asked about being, you asked about the Jeff Ross historical roast where it was Hitler roasting and Frank.
And there were some people attacking that.
And one guy wrote, this is citizen plain president.
I don't know if that's if I'm saying right it doesn't sound like a name
but he tweeted this
he said
you are right
Hitler's killing of people was
not funny but watching
a Jewish man play Hitler
and have other Jewish
people talk shit to him
is funny. There you go.
Yeah, and I thought that explains it
right there. So you feel better about
playing Hitler now? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. I think my
parents would have been
Would that have been a proud moment for them?
Yes.
Paulie
Paul. Yeah.
We're going gonna do something that
Why don't you explain what we've done
Oh, I just fell out
If you're over there, Frank
We've been doing some record collections
We did yours a couple of weeks ago
We sure did
Highlights from Frank's records
Did we do yours?
Yes
We didn't do Gilbert's
No That would require Gilbert actually working highlights from Frank's records. Did we do yours? Yes. We didn't do Gilbert's. No?
No, because that would require Gilbert actually working.
And actually, we did Dara's record collection.
We did Dara's, right. It started with mine.
It started with Frank's record collection,
and I tried to stump Gilbert.
Right.
And I believe you were here.
I was here.
Is Paul looking more and more like Neil Simon?
Or is it my imagination?
Doesn't he look like Doc Simon?
Sure.
I'll take a picture of you and post it.
And then Dara decided that she was going to take up the challenge,
so we did Dara's CD collection originally.
And then we did two with Dara.
Then we did Dara's record collection.
Part one and part two.
Dara's mom stuff.
Yeah, Dara's mom chimed in too.
I don't think we put that one up yet.
And then I challenged Ray Bone to
say, go through your record
collection, find your 45s. Did you
actually have them in the house still? I actually, amazingly,
I had all my 45s, about a hundred
of them. I didn't know I had that many. Wow. And the reason I have them
is about 20 years ago, my father
was cleaning out his closets, and he said, I'm getting
the hell out, getting this out of here, and mailed it to me
without any warning. And so I have them. If he hadn't said, I'm getting the hell out, getting this out of here and mailed it to me without any warning.
And so I have them.
If he hadn't done that,
they would have gone out,
God knows,
you know,
when they left the house.
Fantastic.
So I got them.
I would volunteer to do my record collection,
but I think most of the songs
I like are 27 minutes long.
Yeah.
Yeah,
you just like deep,
what,
King Crimson?
Genesis Supper's Ready.
Deep album cuts.
There goes the whole show.
Yeah,
we'll just sit here in silence
and be absolutely puzzled and perplexed.
Gilbert's looking at his swag.
Yes.
Ponderous.
Does all that go in the bottom of the closet?
Oh, yes, yes.
Well, this one I can draw pictures in.
There you go.
Okay.
There you go.
So thank you to...
Ned Hastings.
To Ned Hastings.
And he also said...
Wait, there's somebody...
There's more.
And Chris Kelly.
Chris Kelly is the other guy.
Casper Kelly. Casper Kelly. That's
the name I was trying to think of. Bless your heart.
So thank you to Chris
and Casper, same person.
And also to the very
generous Ned Hastings. And Frank tells me that
we have a lot of fans at the Cartoon Network. Yeah, well, what I
love is I record a lot for Cartoon Network
and then Ned reached out one day and said, hey,
I'm a fan of the show and I also get
your files next after you record.
How nice.
Which is super cool.
Yeah, we were talking about Batman movies on Facebook,
Ned and I.
And as I said, this is just the tip of the iceberg
because there's a lot more swag in the box,
including T-shirts, Gilbert,
which really gives you a chubby.
Yes.
And we also want to thank Ben Walker's story.
So we'll get to the show,
and we'll get to the meat of Raybone.
All right.
Dirty.
There's some kind of weird metaphor there that I just made.
Let's not do that.
So I want to give you a break and start with an easy one.
Okay.
So one of the first things I pull in my 45s.
Tilt that screen a little bit toward you so that I don't actually see it in my peripheral vision.
So are you ready?
The two Daves are here, and they're playing along through the glass.
That's right. Feel free to play at home.
I have a 45 RPM record
with one side says, Love Me Do
and the other side says, P.S.
I Love You. The question
is, who wrote, who is credited
with writing these songs on the
45?
Oh. Is this a trick question?
It's a... So, it's not Lennon and McCartney? It is not Lennon and McCartney. 45. Oh. Is this a trick question?
So it's not Lennon and McCartney?
It is not Lennon and McCartney.
Love Me Do and what was the other one? Yes, I Love You.
They weren't written.
Those are not Lennon and McCartney compositions?
Wow.
Was it the guy we had on the American show?
Because I had those also, I think.
You breaking news or is this a trick question?
I think I'm breaking news.
It wasn't Lennon and McCartney.
It was the Beatles. Both tunes are credited and McCartney, it was the Beatles.
Both tunes are credited to McCartney-Lennon.
Oh.
I'm going to hit him.
Seidel had it.
He knew it.
He's pumping his fist.
He knew it.
How about that?
Come on, that was a giveaway.
Isn't that weird, though?
I don't think that ever...
That is a little weird.
So that one I think might be worth a fortune.
At some point they decided to go alphabetical.
Yeah, yeah.
So, all right, so now we get to go alphabetical. Yeah. Yeah. So.
All right.
So now we get to the hard ones.
Okay. The real ones.
I'm excited.
So, Frank, you want to try?
That one was just annoying.
That one was just annoying.
He hasn't even done one yet and Gilbert's pissed off.
That's the kind of thing you tell your friends in school and they beat you up over it.
This does not bode well.
Yeah.
Okay.
Here we go.
It's like, that wasn't Burt Bacharach.
It was Mr. Bacharach. Yeah. It's like, that wasn't Burt Baccarat, it was Mr. Baccarat.
Okay, all right.
Hopefully we got
our first lead
on Burt Baccarat today.
Oh, great.
That would be good.
Cross your fingers.
I'm working it.
Oh my God.
All right, Frankie.
Here we go.
Here's song number one.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
Ho-ma-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma
Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma Pa-pa-ho-ma-ma Was that the bird? I'm tearing up what you're It's the same song. Is this not Lennon?
Was that the bird?
It's the same song.
Pretty much, right?
The bird is the word.
Yeah.
But this isn't.
Is it called umpapa maumau?
Papa umpapa maumau.
We'll let it play a little bit. Gilbert said it's very similar to the song.
He's right.
The bird is the word.
There were three follow-up songs.
What were the three follow-up songs?
First of all, who performed Papa Umau Mau?
Salt-N-Pepa.
No, that's not right.
So these are obviously the guys who did the bird.
Well, it's a little more complicated than that.
So these guys.
I'm stumped.
The Rivingtons.
The Rivingtons.
Which didn't ring a bell with me at all, even though I own a record.
They played at my bar mitzvah.
Should have known this.
There were three follow-up songs.
The first one was The Bird
by the Rivingtons, again.
Later the same year.
Well, now everybody's heard
about the bird.
The bird, the bird.
Used to great effect in
Good Morning Vietnam.
So they didn't
have a great amount of range.
No, no.
They stuck with the winner.
You know, go with the winner.
Now, the third one.
There's an um-ah-mow version of the Battle of the Republic
that you'd love.
The third one was by the Trash Men,
and that was Surf and Bird.
Yet again, same melody, similar nonsense words.
Did you give all of them to him?
I let everybody say about the bird. Oh, this is the one from Good Morning Vietnam. This is the Surf and Bird. Yet again, same melody, similar nonsense. Did you give all of them to him? I let everybody's head about
the bird. Oh, this is the one from Good Morning Vietnam.
And also
Family
Guy. Yes, of course.
Yeah.
So they had a huge legal mess over this.
The Trashmen were like a garage band.
The Trashmen were basically
ripping off the Rivingtons. Exactly.
Now we're on board. And the Rivingtons. Exactly. Okay, now we're on board.
And the Rivingtons didn't have that much to work with to begin with.
For them to be stolen from.
And they say there was no legal trouble.
They put everybody's name on the song.
And in the 1970s, Surfing Bird was revived by the Ramones and the Cramps.
I don't know the Cramps.
Wow.
I'm waiting for Pharrell Williams' version personally.
This is impressive. So isn't it, you know, you didn't know that. I don't know the cramps. Wow. I'm waiting for Pharrell Williams' version, personally. This is impressive.
So, isn't it, you know, you didn't know that.
I didn't know that.
I know the surfing bird.
It's been used. Is that the name of the song?
It's been used a lot and to great effect.
You had the original pressings of these?
You had the original 45s?
Well, I don't know if it's here.
I think so, because it was about the right time.
Very impressive.
Milstein is nodding in there like he knows this stuff.
He may.
He's a music guy.
All right, I'm frightened.
We're going to have to bring him back and do Dave's record collection.
Yeah, that's right.
All right.
I've got to get it downloaded.
And that song was written by Paul and John.
You'll never forget that now, Gil.
No.
All right, you want to go to number two, Frank?
Let's do it.
All right, here it comes.
Ready?
I've never heard these.
Wow.
Sounds like 60s, doesn't it?
What to do
If a boy makes eyes at you
Tell me, mama, what to say
I love this and I don't know it.
Yeah.
I thought you'd like it because it's kind of risque.
Yeah.
Sort of Leslie Gore-ish, but not obviously.
No, so I'll give you a hint.
Girl group.
Is it a girl group or a solo?
It's a girl singer.
Now, from 1961 until 1963, Helen Shapiro, who I never heard of, was England's teenage pop music queen.
That's right.
Thank you, Adolph.
That's all I care about.
That's it.
Okay, moving on.
Helen Shapiro.
She was England's teenage pop music queen
and she was so big
that every record label
was scrambling to have
its own teenage pop music queen.
And this was one of those
who I think was 14
when she recorded her name
as Christine Quaid.
This was,
now this one we just heard
was Christine Quaid?
Right.
Did you know of Christine Quaid, Gilbert?
No.
Or Helen Shapiro.
It's her alter ego.
I'd like to read up on Helen Shapiro. Well, you know of Christine Quaid, Gilbert? No. Or Helen Shapiro. That's her alter ego. I'd like to read up on Helen Shapiro.
Well, you know, I'm kind of surprised you don't know her because she spent some time on the local amateur circuit in Leeds, England.
You didn't cross paths.
Oh, yeah.
I spent a lot of time there.
When Gilbert was in the original Georgie Girl.
Original name of McCartney's Helen Wheels, by the way, Helen Shapiro.
Yeah.
And she might have, Christine Quaid might have had another hit, but her record company went bankrupt.
Christine Quaid.
Christine Quaid.
The other reason was nobody ever heard of her.
I'm just so glad, I'm glad these are in your collection.
I'm enjoying them.
I've never heard of these people.
I see why your father sent them back, though.
One more tidbit reference
to what you were just saying.
Yeah.
Christine Quaid's last single,
which went exactly nowhere,
was called
Long After Tonight
Is All Over
by Burt Bacharach
and Hal David.
How about that?
Just went nowhere.
Nothing.
How about that?
Now I'm going to do
some deep research
on Christine Quaid.
All right.
Is she still with us?
I don't think so.
Okay, I'm sorry to hear that.
I'm not sure about that.
David and Bacharach.
I'm not sure.
King of the callback here.
A lot of people think it was Bacharach, David, but they're wrong.
Alright, Raybone.
You know, Frank
pulled away
some plastic wrap
when I was opening his...
The guy has zero instincts about
a microphone.
How long have you been in showbiz?
He shakes a glass with ice
cubes in it. He peels
cellophane off of a gift
when he gets it. I'm waiting
for him to show up with a bag of walnuts.
Guys, I brought a little water
feature to put in the studio. Christ.
I brought in some parakeets.
I don't like these.
Next week, Gilbert brings bubble wrap to the show.
All right, song number three.
Number three.
Here it comes.
I've never heard them.
It's Good News Week. Someone's dropped a bomb somewhere This is clearly a British invasion. The only question on this is who sings this?
Do you know the song?
I'm going to take a wild guess because it sounds like a band called Circle
that Paul Simon wrote a song called Red Rubber Ball.
It's not.
I'm way off.
But it sounds like them.
It sounds like them.
I once was on a TV show, maybe Night Court,
and I met one of the crew guys, introduced himself to me,
and he was one of the members of Circle.
Wow.
C-Y-R-K-L-E.
Yeah.
Yeah, Circle.
Morning sun is shining
like a red rubber ball. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da I just thought it was worth it just because I like the name. I should have known she'd bid me farewell.
There's a lesson to be learned.
A better song.
I learned my lesson well.
Always running, never leaving.
That's the life you lead.
I took myself with my tears.
That's all I got to do.
And I think it's going to be all right.
Yes, the worst is over now.
The morning sun is shining like a red rubber ball.
Okay, raise your hand if you wish Paul had picked that one.
Everybody.
Oh, wait.
Everybody knows that one.
Wait, do you know their other song?
I'm pretty sure this is Circle.
their other song?
I'm pretty sure this is Circle.
It's much too groovy a
summer's day
to spend
running round
in the city.
Don't know it.
It's a turned down
day.
Nothing on my mind.
I don't know who that is, but that's good. Gilbert's personally bringing Circle back. You know this one. Oh, nice. Nothing on my mind. I do. I do. Very good.
I don't know who that is, but that's good.
Very good.
Gilbert's personally bringing Circle back.
Yeah.
Single-handedly.
I'm bringing back Circle, jerk.
He's bringing Sexy back.
You don't have to do your record collection.
You could just come in and do your brain.
Yes.
You've stumped us so far, Paul.
Okay.
All right.
I'm going to try to give you an easy one here.
This is a deep dive, my friend.
Try the one that was before this one, Frank, please.
There's nothing there.
There's nothing there?
Okay, we'll skip that one then.
I'll tell you, there were a couple of interesting things about that.
That one was, that's the way boys are by whom?
I never heard of the whom.
Are they really the way boys are?
That's the way boys are.
That's the way boys are.
They all sound like something else. Not Connie Francis. Leslie Gore. Leslie Gore. Leslie Gore. That's the way boys are. They all sound like something else.
Not Connie Francis.
Leslie Gore.
Leslie Gore.
Leslie Gore.
That's the way boys are.
Shame on me.
And she had some other hits and things.
Shame on me.
In 1963, she recorded a composition called Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows.
Of course.
I know that one.
And who wrote that one?
It was his first hit.
Give me a hint.
Give me a first initial.
Chorus line.
Oh, yeah.
Marvin Hamlisch.
Marvin Hamlisch.
Very good.
Sunshine lollipops and rainbows.
All right.
Sorry, I can't play that for you,
but we'll move on.
Imagine it.
Just imagine it.
Close your eyes.
I thought I knew Leslie Gore.
I'll tell you.
I'm having an off night.
I discovered about a dozen Leslie Gore singles.
I had every Leslie Gore single.
Well, I played one on this song
on this show,
California Nights,
which you were not familiar with
from Batman.
We will return to
Gilbert Gottfried's
amazing, colossal podcast
after this.
Okay, Paulie.
This next song is named
after a deli chain
in New York City.
You're going to get it
right away.
Great.
Oh, it's Zeger and Evans.
You own this?
They make the fresh meat.
I own this.
With the mariachi.
Yeah.
This is great stuff.
We should have had this on the show before a few times.
If only we had.
You know, it's as relevant today as it was 50 years ago.
Except we're that much closer to it.
In the year 3535
Ain't gonna need to tell the truth
A true one-hit wonder.
What's interesting musically about this?
Besides the Spanish influence?
Besides that, it changes key almost every verse.
It's unusual.
Interesting.
Musically and medically.
This is the song that kicked off the first music mini we ever did,
which was One Hit Wonders.
From, I believe, 1969.
You're right.
So this song is 50 years old.
So this is the first one that
I'm at least
I'm familiar with
yeah me too
me too
yeah
okay
but I'm not
they're not gonna be
too
that one I just
like because I just
thought we should
listen to it
you know for old
time's sake
okay
for old time's sake
what are you
Abe Vigoda
okay Zeger and Evans love Zeger hated Evans what are you Abe Vigoda?
Okay.
Zeger and Evans.
Love Zeger hated Evans
as we said last time.
Okay.
You have the next one Frank
please sir.
You got another
Helen Shapiro hit?
Here it comes.
It's so groovy now
that people are
trying to get together
saying it's so wonderful
that people are that people are finally getting together. Think it's so wonderful.
That people are finally getting together.
People are finally getting together.
Reach out in the darkness.
Reach out in the darkness.
I think he's got it.
Yeah.
Look, if you don't like it, we can stop it right now.
Great single.
Good one, right?
I have such respect for you that you own these.
Okay, now, I'm not going to let you off that easy.
Who sang it?
Gilbert.
Helen Shapiro.
And the Trash Men. Helen Shapiro under her alias as Friend and Lover.
Yeah, Friend and Lover.
Friend and Lover.
See, I should have known that.
All right.
We knew the song.
This was an anthem adopted by the protest movement.
You wouldn't be surprised to hear.
I wouldn't be.
But you might be surprised to know that in the 1970s, it became a staple of some Christian rock groups.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
Who thought its message somehow had something to do with...
I'm going to stop right there.
It's very...
That's a good choice.
Gilbert knew it.
I'm impressed.
Okay.
All right.
Very good.
Did we know that one, Daves?
They're nodding.
They're nodding.
It's about time you guys knew one of these things, you know.
Well, we knew Zeger and Evans for Christ's sake.
Your bonus track.
My bonus track.
All right.
Here we go.
How are we doing on time, Frank? We're doing great. I have no idea how long, but it's great.
Fantastic. Let's keep going until we
all fall asleep. This next band, I'll give you one clue
before we play it. They invented Fudgy
the Whale. Great. Tom
Carville and the Trash Men. Yes.
Could you be more obscure with these selections?
You recognize the melody at all?
Nope.
I think the idea behind this, Paul,
was that we should be able to actually get some of them.
Actually get some of them.
All right, this is You Don't Have to Be a Baby to Cry
by The Caravelles.
Reach number three on the US chart.
Number three on the Billboard chart.
I mean, that's respectable.
I've never heard this song in my fucking life.
You, Gilbert?
I'm convinced that Paul made all these records five minutes before coming in here.
If you see the video, it's wonderful.
He's versatile.
It's a very 80s nightclub thing going on.
Dave, do we know this song?
This is a no.
Okay, but here's why you should have known this song.
It became the first British record
on the Hot 100's Top 40 in 1964.
The first one beating Cliff Richard by two weeks
and The Beatles by three weeks.
What is the name of this act?
The Caravelles. The Caravelles. Nope. Richard by two weeks and The Beatles by three weeks. What is the name of this act? The
Caravelles. The Caravelles.
Nope. No.
Don't let yourself be embarrassed like this again.
I'll go back to Vernerost's cookie puss
clue or whatever it was. Fudgy the whale.
Do you know the joke, how does Tom Carvell take a shit?
You know that one? Yes, I'm familiar.
God. Where did you
find these songs?
In my record collection.
That was the assignment.
Did you cut these off the back of Alphabet's boxes?
All right.
Okay, let's move along.
You know, we got some music experts in the booth,
and you're fucking with them, too.
You're stumping them.
Well, I just met them.
I should probably be a little rude to be fucking with them so quickly.
Here we go.
All right, this next one.
More obscurity.
After school is over, we can't.
Oh, right.
Not a clue.
Baby, I want you to come.
I'm noticing a recurring motif.
We'll be there, let me tell you.
Here's the hook.
442 Glenwood Avenue. Nothing. the hook. 442 Glenwood Avenue.
It's called 442 Glenwood Avenue.
Nope.
Yep.
That's where Helen Shapiro lived.
They made two appearances.
Here's the other reason you should know them.
They made two appearances on the Ted Mack Amateur Hour.
Gil, anything?
No.
Besides wanting to hit Paul.
Dave's experts, nothing.
This is very upsetting.
Paul has managed to take a fun premise.
Yeah, yeah.
And turn it into a dull homework assignment.
Yeah, yeah.
But look at the things I'm opening, Paul.
I'm opening you up to some wonderful stuff.
This is just added to my list of reasons to never have Paul here ever again.
I thought it was a foolproof premise.
Can I mention it this time?
It was always enjoyable before, and you fucking killed it.
Adorable, foolproof premise.
The audience could sing along.
Oh, I love that song.
It was relaxing.
You just unwind.
And you fucking killed it.
There are five people sitting here staring at him.
I'd have to tell you how this all started, too.
I can deliver the final death blow here.
Earlier during the full episode, I said to Paul,
do you have the links for the mini?
And he handed me like a 10-page printout of all the YouTube links.
That's great.
That's not how this works.
This is our crack researcher, folks.
We're lucky we have any music at all here.
We're never going to have one of these premises ever again.
Thank you, Paul.
I'm just amazed Paul could get his 45s into the computer like that.
That's not easy.
You see, the premise is basically to come up with
some that are stumpers,
but for the purposes of being entertaining,
and so the audience at home
can say, oh my god, I know
that song. The premise is
you don't want to throw yourself in front
of a tree. Choose that, Jay.
Choose songs that more than one person
might know.
Alright, well I got two or three more. I person might know. All right.
Well, I got two or three more.
I might be able to redeem myself here.
It's sort of an audience identification.
Please.
Stop.
Stop.
Please.
Stop.
Try the next one, Frank.
They should know this one.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely.
Let's get right to it.
Here we go.
Take a look.
I got this one.
Oh, what?
What?
This is The Seekers.
The Seekers. The Seekers.
Whoa.
I forgot the name of the goddamn song.
Hang on.
You ready?
Right.
Let's make this the one.
Yeah.
The Seekers.
Yep.
12-string guitar.
Yeah, it's...
It's...
It's...
I'll never find another you. It's, it's, it's.
I'll never find another you.
I know I'll never find another you.
I know I'll never find another you.
Oh, okay.
You know this one, don't you? Oh, yes, yes.
This one I know.
Paul, you've almost redeemed yourself.
No.
You know.
Not after the torture. Here's something you were like. That, you've almost redeemed yourself. No. No. Not after the torture.
Here's something you were like.
That is Codge.
Stop and tell now.
Which one of their songs became...
Because I know I'll never find another you.
I love you guys singing that to me.
It's great.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
Well, there was the Seekers and there was the New Seekers.
The New Seekers, that's right.
Well, their big hit was Georgie Girl.
I was just going to say, well, yeah.
That was their monster hit.
That was it.
From the movie.
Yeah.
Correct.
I got one!
Correct.
You might get the next one.
Salvation.
So, it did not get, it was nominated for an Academy Award in 1967.
But it lost to...
1967?
1967.
Up the Down Staircase.
Give us the movie and we'll tell you the song.
This song came out in a recent episode.
Recently we asked somebody, what song made you cry?
Or something like that, and this was the answer. This is the song. Everything you've what song made you cry? Or something like that.
And this was the answer.
This was the song.
Everything you've done has made me cry.
So the answer is Born Free.
Oh, it lost to Born Free.
Oh, okay. John Barry.
Somebody just mentioned Born Free came up within the last couple of weeks.
It was Richard Marks.
Was it Richard Marks?
Yeah, he said Born Free made him cry.
That's right.
So this song lost best song, Oscar, to Born Free.
Oh, well, we should be able to get this, Gilly.
Yeah, I'm hoping.
Is it Ellen Shapiro?
No, it was The Seekers.
Georgie Gould was the one that lost.
Oh, you're giving the fact after the song.
Right, right.
Very good.
Okay, good.
All right, okay.
All right, I've given up.
Okay, how many
more you got?
I got two more, I
think.
Gilbert's drinking
bleach.
Are we there yet?
All right, try the
next one, Frank.
All right.
I don't wanna.
No, this one you're
totally gonna know.
Okay.
Some harmonica in there.
Oh, I know.
This is every retail commercial in the 70s.
Come in the shop, right?
We're can peas.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The garden walls.
Oh, God.
What is the name of the song?
You'll get around to it eventually.
God damn it.
It became a famous band, if that helps.
You want to know what you're getting
Here in the game
With a sigh
Every variety show in the 70s covers this.
Yes, yes.
Once again I want to tell you It's a great song. variety show in the 70s covered this. Donnie and Marie.
It's actually a great song.
It was first published in 1933 as piano sheet music.
I'm going to open a vein. What is the name of this song?
Deep Purple.
By Nino Tempo
and April Stevens.
Yeah, Donnie Osmond covered this.
Tell me what nationality these people are.
Their real names are Antonino and Carol Vincenete
Lottempio.
My people.
Your people.
Yeah.
What Gilbert calls fucking Dagos.
Yeah.
No, I call them fucking guineas.
My peeps.
I don't use the term Dagos.
Deep purple.
Should have known that.
I say fucking guineas.
And it was played by Paul Whiteman's famous big band.
Yes, Paul Whiteman Orchestra.
I'm pretty sure Donny Osmond covered that song.
Do I have anything on this, Milstein?
Nah, he's not giving me a buy-in on that one.
All right, let's do one more.
We have exactly one more.
Because Gilbert is fashioning a rope together out of all of our sport coats.
Before he kicks the stool away.
He's making a rope out of crumbled up plastic bottles that he's got next to him.
Here we go.
You'll know this one.
Yeah.
No.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Let's just call it Land of a Thousand.
Name of this fucking thing.
God.
These are...
I'm picturing Drew Carey doing this.
Yes, I know.
Drew Carey joke.
What the hell is the name of this thing?
You know it, Gilbert?
You recognize it?
I know the song, but I don't know the title or one word in it.
I'll give you some hints.
It was first recorded by the Isley Brothers.
Isley Brothers.
That helps.
And it was in what movie?
Maybe lots of them, but one that's notable.
Lots of movies.
Lots of movies.
Definitely the Drew Carey show.
Hillbill Volume 1.
Oh, okay.
Very good.
That's going to say Animal House.
And it's called Nobody But Me.
It's the human beans.
B-E-I-N-Z.
Oh, human beans.
Human beans.
And there was something that you should know, you will know now.
It's 31 repetitions of the word no fulfilled Casey Kasem's book of records category of the most repetitive word or phrase in a top 100 hit.
How about that, Gil?
A Casey Kasem reference.
I'm glad I came in.
What did it just beat in terms of frequency of a word?
Paul, would you get out?
Ain't no sunshine.
I know.
Ain't no sunshine.
And the repetition was I know
oh
Bill Withers
Bill Withers
very good
okay
that's it
you stumped the shit
out of us Pat
yeah
wow
I'm glad to see
how you enjoyed it
it warms my heart
I can't say I enjoyed it
no
but on the other hand
you did
you did a
you did a creditable job
of coming up with
it's a sign of respect that I didn't give you easy ones.
You definitely did not give us easy ones.
This was where we got to kind of.
Yeah, maybe three.
Yeah, two or three where we went, ah, yeah.
I don't think there was one where we got the...
I did one, the Seekers doing Never Find Another You.
But that was the only one where we got the title and the artist.
In the year 2525.
And you threw that one.
That was a layup you threw at us.
Wow.
And now here's Sting to take us out.
Fucking ponderous.
That's fucking fun.
Thank you, Paul.
That's all I got.
That's the whole thing right there.
That's a pretty impressive record collection. I have to say. That is. That's all I got. That's the whole thing. That's a pretty impressive record collection.
That is.
That's surreal.
I noticed it was dominated by a lot of young women,
so I guess I have some idea what I was thinking about in those days.
Dominating young women.
Frankie, you want to take us out on Surfing Bird?
Oh, absolutely.
As Gilbert signs off.
By the way, there's a great video.
I don't want to listen to you anymore.
Anyway, this has been Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsessions.
And Paul's farewell.
That was so sad.
That was so sad.
Picked his own farewell music.
Good night and good luck.
Thanks, Frank.
Thanks, Dave Seidel.
Thanks, Dave Milstein.
Thank you, Paulie.
Thank you.
Did anyone think this was going to go any differently?
I'm just...
No.
Nope.
You're the best of all memories
You wander on back to me
Breathe in my name
With a sigh
In the still of the night
Once again I hold you tight
Though you're gone in love
With some wind, moonlight, breeze
And as long as my heart will beat
Sweet lovers will always meet
Here in my deep purple dream
When the deep purple falls
Over sleepy garden walls
And the stars begin to twinkle In the mist of a memory, you wander back to me, breathing my name with a sigh, with a sigh, in the steel of the night
Once again I hold you tight, oh you're gone, you're lost
Listen when will I be?
And as long as my heart will beat, sweet lovers will always meet, here in my deep purple dreams.
Always me Here in my deep
Purple dreams
Here in my deep
Purple dreams
Here in my deep
Purple dreams
Here in my deep