Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Six Degrees of Gilbert Gottfried Encore
Episode Date: February 26, 2024GGACP celebrates the birthday of our late fearless leader, Gilbert (b. February 28, 1955) with an ENCORE of this truly funny mini-episode from 2018, in which the boys play a Gilbert Gottfried-themed v...ersion of "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon." Also, Gilbert hangs with Freddy Krueger, Danny Thomas shops at Ethan Allen, Sir Ian McKellen goes slumming and Raybone acquires a strange new affliction. PLUS: Sidney Poitier! Natalie Hershlag! “The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle”! Johnny Carson turns down Martin Scorsese! Lon Chaney Jr. meets the Monkees! And the return of the Scarlett Johansson robot! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Here we go boys.
One, two, three, four.
Gilbert and Frank, colossal obsessions!
Hi, this is...
Hi, yes, hello.
Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried and I'm here with my co-host Frank Santopadre.
That's me.
And I think we might still be at Nutmeg.
Are we still at Nutmeg? Yeah, I don't know.
You're drilling.
I don't know.
The reality is, by the time this airs, the place we are sitting in now will be nothing but a cement floor and open space.
You really want people to know that?
Well, it'll be done by then.
Yeah.
Right?
This is four weeks out from when we're recording it.
Yep.
But there's a very good chance we will be in a new place.
That is the plan.
But we don't know.
But we'll provide details as they come.
We sure will.
We can talk about it on the next episode.
And once again, our engineer who recently was found with his head in the oven
and his apartment is in his Jersey apartment.
He's got a home.
He's got a beautiful home.
He doesn't have an apartment.
My head was in the oven, but I was heating up pizza.
Don't get confused.
He killed himself while heating up a pizza.
He likes to get a good look at it as it bubbles.
Couldn't quite tell if the middle was done.
And he died.
Frank Verterosa.
With his face buried in like a St.
What's the name of one of those famous?
The Celentano pizzas?
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was buried there in a pepperoni. Elio's.
Elio's. Which makes this a very
sad episode, actually. And...
I think Frank's taking it very well.
That, of course, is the voice
of blues singer
old black
origami-less
What?
Raybone.
What?
He was captured by the Japanese
in World War II.
And he was tortured
so he refuses
to learn origami.
Suddenly you're a black blues man
and you're in Bridge on the River quite.
I was tortured.
Do you ever mind if your comments about Japan led you last time?
That's right, Gilbert.
Can you please play the Colonel So-and-So Waltz?
Colonel Boogie Waltz.
Yeah, the Japanese actually destroyed my origami.
It was in their hands.
It was actually a Japanese torture tactic
where they would unfold your origami in front of you
after you labored over it so hard.
Gilbert has turned into a surrealist in recent weeks.
You started out as earless, armless, legless, boneless.
His kids call him Dada.
Suddenly he's origami-less.
What was the last one?
He's flypaper-less.
Flypaper-less.
That doesn't make any sense.
It does raise a question.
Can you make origami out of flypaper?
That's interesting.
We should invite our listeners.
You stick with it.
It's fascinating.
That's like a joke Gilbert would tweet and apologize for.
I apologize to flies.
Yes.
We should invite our listeners to...
But that fly joke I'm leaving open.
Very good.
We should invite our listeners to post what Paul is missing.
I wish somebody would make a list.
Because now we're up to...
Aside from talent and intelligence.
That's too obvious.
Poor Paul.
I just come in and collect my
paycheck.
That's it.
What's a paycheck?
That was the ghost
of Frank
Frank Verarosa
pizza store is delicious
proud hanging
in the homeless shelter
in Jersey
he's got a home
he just doesn't have an office at the moment
let's see
more on that later
more on that later this is something that i found
uh i thought this would be a fun idea for an episode and we don't talk about the listener
society enough yes on this show we do a lot of twitter uh but this is uh this is from our
friends uh uh eric fusco and rob smentech and Peter Santamaria run the wonderful Gilbert Gottfried's
Amazing Colossal Listener Society.
Oh.
I don't mind giving them a plug and thanking them.
Yeah, thank you.
And we'll have them in here for a mini episode in the fall.
We've been promising to do that for a long time.
We have to do.
Well, Nutmeg will be gone by then.
Yeah, we'll have them somewhere else.
Don't want them messing up the place in the fall.
We'll have them out on the street.
And we'll have a little mini tape recorder.
We're going to record these live in Bryant Park.
That's fine.
That's fine.
But this was a post by a listener named David Phillips.
And he said, how many ways can we link Gilbert to Kevin Bacon in six degrees?
Oh, it's easy.
It's easy.
I have two direct links.
Okay, let's hear it
because they might be here.
Both of them are in diner.
I worked with Paul Reiser
both in Beverly Hills Cop 2
and also The Aristocrats.
So Paul Reiser
and Paul Reiser was in diner
with Kevin Bacon bacon that's one
i worked on a movie i worked on a movie called bad medicine yes tony sandoval yes with steve
gutenberg steve gutenberg was in diner with uh kevin bay now was that considered one degree do
you understand this game paul is that would that be one that considered one degree? Do you understand this game, Paul? Would that be one degree?
I have two.
You, Gutenberg, and then Bacon.
I have two.
Yeah, I have two ones.
So that's right.
You and Gutenberg would be one degree.
Yeah, that's two degrees.
You and Gutenberg.
That's two degrees.
Yeah, two separate.
Right.
Yeah.
That's two degrees.
That's two degrees?
Yeah, because if you were in a movie with Kevin Bacon.
Oh, that would be one degree.
That's one. Okay, so two separate two degrees. Yeah, because if you were in a movie with Kevin Bacon... Oh, that would be one degree. That's one.
Okay, so two separate
two degrees. Very good, and you've thought about this.
And he sat also in the very chair
you're in in that booth to record as well.
Kevin Bacon did? Kevin Bacon did.
Okay, so we're sharing...
Which by the time this airs will be a pile of dust
in the mouth for the morning.
You're taking it so well, Frank.
Wow, he is handling it well.
A listener named Dan Rowena Gilbert was right on that one.
Gilbert was in Bad Medicine with Steve Guttenberg, who was in Diner with Kevin Bacon.
That's right.
He got that.
I don't think anybody got the Paul Reiser one, but a lot of people posted variations connecting you to Kevin Bacon.
And this is the kind of thing that I read in bed at 2 o'clock in the morning.
Oh, yes.
While my wife is asleep.
This is a good one.
This is from David Phillips who posted it.
Problem child with John Ritter.
John Ritter was in Sling Blade with JT Walsh.
JT Walsh was in The Big Picture with Kevin Bacon.
Oh, okay.
So there's a good one.
Okay, that is a good one.
Yeah.
It's a much more roundabout way than Gilbert.
It's a roundabout way, and then they get more and more interesting and more roundabout as they go.
Henry Eisenberg.
Gilbert was in Ford Fairlane with Robert Englund.
Yes.
You know that actor, right?
Everybody knows Freddy Krueger.
Englund was in Elm's Nightmare on Elm Street with Johnny Depp.
Johnny Depp was in Sleepy Hollow with Christopher Walken.
Walken was in Joe Dirt with Fred Ward.
And Fred Ward was in Tremors with Bacon.
And this is going so far away.
Yeah.
It's fun, though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just recently, I ran into Robin England again.
Did you ask him to do the show?
Well, of course not.
No, of course not.
Dara sent me a lot of interesting Instagram photos of you with celebrities.
I didn't even know you knew.
I'm on Dara's Instagram.
Who the hell is this picture of Gilbert with Steve Carell?
There's another picture
of him with Jim Carrey.
They're all hugging.
There's a picture of him
with Chris Rock
and Amy Schumer.
Did he ask any of them
to do the show?
No.
I don't love them.
You miserable wretch.
I'm there with
Douglas Fairbanks.
Faye Bainter.
Marie Dressler.
Neville Brand.
Here's a good one.
This is from Heather Harkins.
Gilbert was in Beverly Hills Cop 2 with Dean Stockwell.
Yes.
Who was in Psych Out with Jack Nicholson.
Who was in A Few Good Men with Bacon.
There's another one.
Oh, okay.
And people just did dozens of these.
Here's a another one. Oh, okay. And people just did dozens of these. Here's a great one. Scott Zilla says Gilbert and Kevin stood in the same shopping bag in a restroom stall with Perfecto Tellez.
So that's a direct degree.
That's a direct one.
I looked that up on Snopes and it says mixture.
There are some good ones here.
I want to read them.
Bill Knowles.
Gilbert was in Aladdin with Robin Williams.
Robin Williams was in Good Will Hunting with Matt Damon.
Matt Damon was in Oceans 11 with Julia Roberts.
And Julia Roberts was in Flatliners with Kevin Bacon.
Okay, can we...
Oh, I just watched the remake of Flatliners on TV.
And it was like the whole movie was like all of them experienced.
They realized they did something bad.
And if you apologize for doing something bad, it's okay.
I've never seen Flatliners.
I've always been curious about it.
Now, how about connecting me with some like old movie star?
Funny you should ask.
Gilbert?
Yes.
And let's see if I could get it.
Really?
It would take you a while.
Let me get through a couple of these quick, and then I'll do that.
And I want to apologize to Bill Knowles, because he has your Paul Reiser one right here.
Oh, okay.
Beverly Hills Cop, Paul Knowles.
But let me read a couple of these, and then we'll do a couple of older actors.
But I want to take into account the work and the effort people put into these. Yeah. cop Paul Knowles, but let me read a couple of these and then we'll do a couple of older actors, but I
want to take into account the work
and the effort people put into these.
Michael Caine, K-A-N-E.
Gilbert was in Look Who's Talking To
with Abe Vigoda. Abe Vigoda
was in Joe vs. the Volcano
with Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks
was in Volunteers with John Candy.
John Candy is in Plane Trains
and Automobiles with Kevin Bacon.
He stole Steve Martin's cab
and set the whole story in motion.
There you go.
I didn't even know that.
Yeah, I didn't know that either.
I didn't know that either.
That's pretty good.
Gilbert and Judge Reinhardt.
Judge Reinhold.
He has Reinhardt.
I know better.
Michael Tellman.
Well, that's when he was with the Third Reich.
Yes.
Judge Reinhold in Beverly Hills Cop 2.
Reinhold and Sean Penn are in Fast Times at Ridgemont High,
and Penn is in Mystic River with Bacon.
So there's three.
Is that three or four?
There's a bunch of these.
Bear Toffoli says Gilbert does John MacGyver. So there's three. Is that three or four? There's a bunch of these.
Bear Toffoli says,
Gilbert does John MacGyver,
who was in Once Upon a Horse,
with Rowan and Martin,
who were on TV with Goldie Hawn,
who starred with Kurt Russell in Overboard,
who was in Tango and Cash,
with Sly Stallone,
who was in Cliffhanger,
with John Lithgow,
who was in Footloose with Kevin Bacon.
Who did that one?
Bear Toffoli, B-E- did that one? Bear Toffoli.
B-E-A-R.
Can we send some medical help to... And people even tried to go through the podcast.
Former guest Clint Howard
was in Apollo 13 with Kevin Bacon
one step, but I don't think the podcast counts.
So you asked me about
doing...
Yeah, pick some like old movie star and I'll try to guess.
You mean someone like Lon Chaney Jr.?
Lon Chaney Jr.
Okay.
I was on Think of the Night with Vincent Price.
Yeah, I don't think TV counts.
Oh, it doesn't count?
No, it's got to be feature films.
Got to be feature?
Oh, I didn't know that.
Them's the rules of the game.
Yeah.
Okay.
Got to be feature films.
You can make this work.
You're impressive.
Yes, yes, yes.
Okay, Lon Chaney Jr.
Let's see.
Oh, he's in High Noon.
He's in High Noon, yeah.
Okay, I've never worked with any of the Bridges boys.
Well, you did insult Jeff Bridges boys. Ooh.
Well, you did insult Jeff Bridges backstage at the Tonight Show. Yes, yes, yes.
We're not going to count that either.
Well, I
insulted...
Oh, stop it! This isn't
60 Minutes.
Okay, so
we can't include
the Vincent Price on TV?
No.
If you want to do it, go ahead.
Yeah, fuck it, I'll do it.
And then he was in the Haunted Palace with Lon Chaney Jr.
Okay, but if you want to count TV.
I actually broke you down to Lon Chaney Jr. using features only.
Okay, but let's see.
Features only?
Yeah.
This will take some doing. Yeah, okay. But I got it down to four steps. Ooh. Okay. But let's see. Features only. Yeah. This will take some doing.
Yeah.
But I got it down to four steps.
Oh.
Yeah.
Enticing, eh?
Oh, very excellent.
This kind of research is Paul Rayburn's worst nightmare, by the way.
Excellent.
This took hours.
Okay, let's hear it.
On IMDb.
Lon Chaney Jr. is in The Defiant Ones.
Oh.
Did you know that?
Oh, no. With Tony Curtis and Sid Did you know that? Oh, no.
With Tony Curtis and Sidney Poitier?
Oh, yeah, of course.
He's Big Sam.
He's Big Sam.
He's Big Sam.
Nice.
With Sidney Poitier.
And you know something?
If we ever get Sidney Poitier, I could ask him about Lon Chaney Jr.
Yeah, I know.
He plays Big Sam.
There you go.
And he's the one who helps them escape.
That's right.
Yeah.
Lon Chaney Jr. is in The Defiant Ones with Sidney Poitier.
Because I started to say no, and then I jumped.
I said, no, he was Big Sam.
That's correct.
What the fuck is the matter with him?
So you know every Lon Chaney Jr. performance.
Absolutely.
Okay, Poitier is in a movie
called Sneakers,
a heist movie
with Robert Redford.
You know this movie?
No.
And Ben Kingsley.
Okay, and I was
in Schindler's List.
Yes, you were
in Schindler's List.
I played
third Jew to the left.
That's not it.
You don't know the movie Sneakers with Dan Aykroyd and Robert Redford?
Phil Alden Robinson movie?
Good heist movie.
Okay, quickly.
Poitier from The Defiant Ones with Lon Chaney Jr. is in Sneakers with Ben Kingsley.
Ben Kingsley is in Schindler's List.
Yes.
You're not.
But Liam Neeson is.
And?
Liam Neeson.. And Liam Neeson.
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, fuck.
He's in.
A million ways to die
in the West.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Oh, that one's great.
Four steps to Lon Chaney Jr.
So, Lon Chaney Jr. and the Defiant Ones with Sidney Poitier.
I'm sure there's another way, but that's the one I found.
Sidney Poitier is in Sneakers with Ben Kingsley, who was in Schindler's List with Liam Neeson.
And you.
Liam Neeson, of course.
Now, if only I was the kind of person that had the time and the inclination to connect you to Danny Thomas.
Oh, I'm sure there must be a pretty direct one there.
Maybe.
It doesn't involve a table.
I think we had the same proctology.
Does that count?
We both dealt with the same salesman at Ethan Allen.
I'm not counting that.
I'm not counting that.
We both bought Windex at the same supermarket.
Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
I'm never going to get through this.
You know.
Yes?
I'm going to give you the challenge.
We won't do it here Because time doesn't permit
But I'll let
But I'll give you
And you can't cheat
You have to get
Lon Chaney Jr.
To you
Not using the path I used
Yes
But it's your favorite actor
So I had to do that
Yes
But maybe you can do it
Because you know
Every film you've been in
Yes
And you know
Every film he's been in
Yes
So maybe you can
Put it together
Oh yeah
And bring it back
On a future show.
That's your homework assignment.
Let's talk about Danny Thomas.
Anything in particular?
I did not connect you.
I did not connect you to George Maharis, but somebody else did.
Can you use a table to connect people?
Well, Danny Thomas did not exactly have a big feature career.
No.
He's in a jazz singer remake.
That's right.
I didn't use that one.
I found a movie from 1964
called Looking for Love.
Which was sponsored
by Hoffman Coos.
Fine people.
Oh, no one's going to get these references.
Danny Thomas was in a movie
called Looking for Love in 1964.
And what's the plot of that movie?
I don't have the plot
handy. Well, maybe Ray Bone can
look it up. Looking for Love, 1964.
But the plot is less important.
Or the plop was more important.
The plop.
In that movie is George Hamilton.
Oh.
George Hamilton is in Godfather 3, Gilbert.
With Diane Keaton.
Oh, my goodness.
Diane Keaton is in Annie Hall.
She sure is.
She won the Oscar for it.
With Christopher Walken.
Oh.
Who plays her brother, Dwayne.
Yes.
Christopher Walken is in Pulp Fiction
with John Travolta.
Ah.
And John Travolta is in...
Oh.
Oh.
Look who's talking too.
With who?
Gilbert Gottfried.
That, my friend, is six steps.
But it counts.
Yeah.
I got it in under the wire.
Danny Thomas, George Hamilton, Diane Keaton, Christopher Walken, John Travolta, and you.
So how many is that?
One, two, three.
One, two, three, four, five,
six. That's six. You are six
degrees from Danny Thomas.
See, now if we can include
this podcast. Well, the
podcast, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's
it might be too easy. You sort of have to
play by the rules of the game. Oh, yeah.
Because if we included the podcast, Lon Chaney Jr. was in a Monkees episode.
There you go.
Right.
So you go right to Dolan's.
Yeah.
Right.
To you.
Or Nesmith.
Right.
That's right.
Or Nesmith.
Yeah.
We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this.
Okay.
What did we find, Paul?
Looking for love.
A singer, Connie Francis, sees the man Jim Hutton she wants.
Jim Hutton, the late Jim Hutton.
The man she wants, but winds up swapping boyfriends with her roommate, Susan Oliver.
Johnny Carson plays himself.
Oh, Johnny Carson is in that.
Oh, good.
Yeah, I didn't use him because he didn't really have a feature career.
No, Joby Baker, Susan Oliver.
Joby Baker from Bill Persky's Good Morning World.
Jesse White, Barbara Nichols.
Yeah, I could have used Jesse White.
And Johnny Carson, though, was offered King of Comedy.
He was.
Yep, he turned it down.
That would have been interesting.
Okay, I got two more for you.
This is
Gilbert Gottfried connected to
Cesar Romero.
We can see that one coming.
See that one coming?
See that one coming.
Am I that
predictable?
I acted with
that woman, Tropic Anna, who's on the cover.
Oh, did you?
Yes.
I didn't realize that.
I learned so much on this show.
This one's an easy one.
Five steps.
You care to take a whack at it?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I take a whack at it every night.
Okay.
You want to go?
You want to try it?
Yes, yes.
Okay, go ahead.
Of which?
Cesar Romero. Cesar Romero.
Cesar Romero.
Oh.
How are you going to do this without IMDb in front of you?
Oh, God, yeah, yeah.
I usually like-
The way Paul does.
See, now, Cesar Romero, let's see what movies he was in, actually.
Well, I'll give you a hint.
I'll start you off.
He's in the Batman movie from 1966.
Okay, yeah.
The quickie feature that they made.
Okay. So who else is in that? quickie feature that they made. Okay.
So who else is in that? Okay, well, Frank Orshin. Yes.
Not a man with a big feature career either.
Burgess Meredith.
You're warm.
Let's see if you can piece this
one together. Oh, wait a second!
Wait a second!
Burgess Meredith who was in Rocky.
Yes.
With Sylvester Stallone.
Yes.
Who was in Animal Crackers with me.
There you go.
Yes.
I also...
Go ahead.
Did Animal Crackers come out?
No.
I saw them on my Twitter account saying, can anyone mention that you'd like it to be released?
Is that the one Ian McKellen's in?
Yeah.
All those people.
We recorded in this booth Gilbert, Wallace Shawn.
I told you that whole story.
Danny DeVito.
Danny DeVito was here.
In fact, you guys had an encounter that day.
How'd that go?
We had an episode one of those nights where they were taking so long, Dara had to come in and raise hell.
Like, we have a guest coming in.
Get out.
Yes, yes.
And I'm like, everyone's in that movie.
How is it not released with all those stars?
I'll tell you why.
My understanding is it's an independently produced and done film.
Right.
In fact, I just worked with the director recently on another project.
In fact, I just worked with the director recently on another project.
So when you got the world of Pixar and you've got DreamWorks and all these feature companies,
how do you deliver a movie like this to get the stage that they've got for their movies?
I think it's just a really hard thing.
But he's doing it on his own, is my understanding.
I could be totally wrong.
Is it animated?
It's animated. It's animated.
It's really well done.
And it's got a sweet story and an all-star cast.
And Gilbert plays Mario Zucchini.
Yes, yes.
We established when we were talking to Doug Benson.
We worked a lot on that and I've heard nothing.
Yeah.
All right.
So how did you get Cesar Romero to you again?
You did Cesar Romero and Batman with Burgess Meredith.
With Burgess Meredith.
It was in Rocky.
With Rocky. With Sylvester. Was in Rocky. With Rocky and, yeah.
With Sylvester Stallone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would have also accepted the Sylvester Stallone in Copland with Robert De Niro and with you
in The Comedian.
Oh, uh, oh, oh my God.
Yeah.
How about that?
That's four steps.
Uh, you bested me because I did it in five.
Here's what I got.
Cesar Romero in the Batman movie.
Yeah. With Burgess Meredith. That's what I got. Cesar Romero in the Batman movie. Yeah.
With Burgess Meredith.
That's the easiest way out of that.
Although Adam West was in features.
Burgess Meredith and a former podcast guest, Chevy Chase.
Ooh.
In Foul Play.
Oh, okay.
And then I just had to get you to Chevy.
Yeah.
So I went to Caddyshack.
Chevy and Rodney in Caddyshack.
And Rodney and you in?
Yeah, in two movies.
In Wally Sparks?
Meet Wally Sparks and Back by Midnight.
There you go.
Paul, what do you have to say about this?
Impressive. Very impressive.
Well, you know, there's so many ways in.
There's so many ways to do it.
And finally, Gilbert, this will make you most excited of all.
I connected you to
Scarlett Johansson.
Oh! Yes!
Oh, yeah!
You want to take
a whack at it yourself? I'm going to take
a whack at it right
now. Forgive my
choice of words.
Scarlett Johansson? Not. Scarlett Johansson.
Not the Scarlett
Johansson robot. I'm going to need actual
Scarlett Johansson.
Well, I never worked with
Natalie Portman,
who I'd like to take a whack at.
Natalie
Hirschlog? Hirschlog.
Nice Jewish girl. Wait, wait.
She didn't work with Natalie. I don't think so.
No, I'm confusing her with Mila Kunis.
She worked with her in your fantasies.
And those are like the podcast. Those don't count
either.
Was Mila Kunis also
in one of those?
I'm thinking
because both
Natalie Portman
and Scarlett Johansson
are both in the
hot Jew piece of ass category.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Wait a minute.
Scarlett Johansson's Jewish?
Yes.
I wish she Jewish.
This whole episode
just got me too'd, by the way.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Fine.
Scarlett Johansson, Jew.
Okay.
I believe you.
I knew Natalie Hirschlog. Yeah. Well, with Hirschlog, what else are you going to be. Okay. I believe you. I knew Natalie Hirschlog.
Yeah.
Well, with Hirschlog, what else are you going to be?
Okay.
Here we go.
Well, I mean.
Scarlett Johansson.
Natalie Portman's like a lot kosher.
Yeah.
What if I gave you some Scarlett Johansson movies?
Would that help?
Yes.
What if I said she's in We Bought a Zoo?
Oh, Matt Damon.
Yes.
Oh, wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Oh, Matt Damon.
Yes.
Oh, wait.
Wait.
I'm so excited.
His son in it is Colin Ford, who was in Jack and the Beanstalk with me. Who's Colin Ford?
Isn't that his son in the movie?
In?
In, I bought a zoo.
We bought a zoo?
We bought a zoo.
I don't know.
I'm pretty sure.
See if Paul's done with the crossword and maybe he can look it up.
You want to look up Colin Ford?
Well, can I give you one I got on my screen here before I go to that?
Scarlett Johansson.
Scarlett's mother, Melanie Sloan, a producer, comes from an Ashkenazi Jewish family from Poland and Russia.
See?
See?
I thought with Johansson, she's Swedish or Finnish or Swiss.
I'm not wrong about my hot juke piece of ass.
How about that?
Again, apologies to the Me Too movement.
What was the next one you wanted me to look for?
Might as well.
I say in I Bought a Zoo.
We Bought a Zoo.
We Bought a Zoo.
The son is Colin Ford.
And I think Colin Ford is the little boy who is in Jack and the Beanstalk.
Okay, let's see if that works because I've got one here.
What's her name?
Chloe Grace Moretz.
Oh, Chloe Grace Moretz.
Colin Ford is in We Bought a Zoo.
And then if I go to Colin Ford.
I never heard of Colin Ford.
He's a child actor?
Yeah, child actor.
Appeared as Joe McAllister in Under the Dome.
What are we looking for now?
Go back a few years.
Yeah.
And look for Jack and the Beanstalk.
Nice work, Gottfried.
Yes.
That's pretty obscure.
That's, yeah.
Here's the way I went.
Scarlett Johansson, it's a very simple one,
in Lost in Translation with Bill Murray,
and Bill Murray's in Scrooged with Bobcat.
Oh, and then...
Bobcat and Ewan, hot to try.
Hot to try.
There you go.
Colin Ford was in Jack and the Beanstalk in 1974.
See?
Look at you.
Look at that.
So you beat me, because I did it in three and you did it in two.
Oh, look at that.
You son of a bitch.
That's nice.
And in my fantasies,
I'm beating Scarlett Johansson.
I'd like to know more
about this Scarlett Johansson,
Mila Kunis,
Natalie Hirschlog dream.
Well, all three are Jews.
Yeah.
Yes.
That's all I got.
Not that I turned down a shiksa.
Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, by the way, for people who are interested in it,
was created by four Albright College students,
including a gentleman named Brian Tuttle, somewhere in the 90s.
They claim to have invented the game that became known as
Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.
Today we did Six Degrees of Gilbert Gottfried.
After watching two movies
featuring Bacon back to back,
Footloose and The Air Up There,
and then they began to speculate
about how many movies Bacon had been in
and the number of people
with whom he had worked.
What was a great movie he did
within the last few years,
last 10 years, something.
He was a child molester.
Stir of Echoes?
The one where he's the...
Oh, The Woodsman.
The Woodsman.
Yeah.
He was great in that.
Then there's that weird movie
where he's basically playing Jerry Lewis.
Oh, well, that's based on Rupert's novel.
Yes.
Because you did that whole thing
about when Rupert was here. Yes. You you did that whole thing about when Rupert was here.
Yes.
You kept trying to say that they were fucking each other.
Yes, yeah.
The Jerry and Dean characters.
That's called Where the Truth Lies.
Yeah.
And it was Kevin Bacon and Colin Firth.
Yeah.
And that was based on Howard's.
I remember the movie in the 90s, maybe the early 2000s, where he turns invisible.
That's called The Hollow Man.
That's right.
Yeah, that was made by the guy that made Robocop. That that was really weird but there's a couple of scenes in there that would
never fly in 2018 the yeah i like stir of echoes he rapes a girl yeah kind of yeah and and he
i heard that in that movie you actually do see his dick in one point and someone said to him when they
were editing it they said
you know in this scene we see your
penis and he said
well how does it look and they go
good and he goes alright then
you could keep it in the movie
it was in the movie you could see it
but it wasn't erect it was at about
six degrees
oh my hey yo it, but it wasn't erect. It was at about six degrees.
Here's another way to connect you to Kevin Bacon, Gilbert.
You're in...
I'll go the other way. Kevin Bacon is in
X-Men Days of Future Past
with Ian McKellen.
Ian McKellen and you
are in Animal... What the hell's the name of it?
Animal Crackers.
There you go.
Wow.
That's pretty direct.
And this is fun.
Weird Al, our pal Weird Al,
has a song called Lame Claim to Fame.
And one of the lines in the song is,
I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy
who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows Kevin Bacon,
which is kind of fun.
And that's how that whole thing happened.
So I'm going to give you, as whole thing happened so i'm gonna give you
uh as a challenge i'm gonna give you some people yes i i bet we could even link you to silent stars
like chaplain i i'm sure you could if we if we if we worked hard enough at it yeah to figure out
how to do that chaplain i know he worked with brando and he worked well your easiest way in
is he worked with uh i don't think he's in the Brando movie.
No.
He's not in Accountants from Hong Kong.
But I think, but Harold, who's still alive, the guy who turned us down, Norman Lloyd.
Isn't Norman Lloyd in Limelight?
Oh, yes, yes.
I think he is.
So you could go that way.
And what has he done?
Because Norman Lloyd's in, I think he's in the holiday with cameron diaz
you ever work with cameron diaz never worked with cameron diaz see if we can do one in real time oh
okay oh i'm gonna need you for this okay i'm ready never never is norman lloyd in the holiday
i think he is and i think that i know eli wallach's in it we just have to get a norman
lloyd movie because he's in lim. We just have to get a Norman Lloyd movie
because he's in Limelight
and then we can connect you to Chaplin.
You never worked with Kate Winslet or Jack Black.
Well, no, but if he worked with Cameron Diaz...
I got it.
Then we could go into Shrek and go to Eddie
and then to Eddie.
Oh. And then connect you.
Oh, okay.
How's that?
Yeah.
So this now hinges on whether Norman Lloyd was in.
Okay.
I think I got the wrong movie.
I think he's in In Her Shoes with Cameron Diaz.
I'm sorry.
What I'm looking for now is.
Skip the holiday.
Check out a movie called In Her shoes which is with cameron diaz
and i believe tony collette because i think that's the norman lloyd movie and if that if that's it we
got it if you can't include tv because if you include a tv she was in uh mom mom mom mom
charlie's angels with bill murray and bill mur Murray hosted an episode of Saturday Night Live.
He tousled your hair.
Oh, that's right.
Tossled your hair.
Yeah.
Wherever the hell that word is pronounced.
What do you got on in her shoes?
The movie is not coming up under Harold Lloyd.
No, no, no.
Norman.
I'm sorry.
I'm Norman Lloyd.
No, I've got Norman Lloyd.
Harold Lloyd's easy.
Norman Lloyd is not in her shoes?
Let me have that device.
You don't know how to use it.
Give me this thing.
Take his Blackberry away.
Give me this thing.
Norman Lloyd.
How do we get to Norman Lloyd?
Norman Lloyd, IMDB.
Frank, you can trim some of this.
I'll let you in on a little secret soon.
Yeah, what's that?
You weren't recording?
No, I'm messing with you.
I keep pausing the clock every time you like,
between you look at it.
So it's actually been a pretty good half hour already.
You son of a bitch.
I'm just wondering at what point is he going to say,
what is this episode?
Yeah, I was just saying that.
Okay, Norman Lloyd's in the adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle
with De Niro.
So we're done.
We're done.
Yeah.
So Norman Lloyd's in limelight
frank you son of a bitch norman lloyd's in limelight uh with chaplin uh norman lloyd's
in the adventures of rocky and bullwinkle with de niro who's in the comedian with you
yes i think he's frank knows 30 minutes so well he instinctively knows when to look up and sees
that it's time to move on and wrap it up i I said, let me just play with time a little bit and see what happens.
Here's another one.
Norman Lloyd's
in Dead Poets Society
with Robin Williams
and you in Aladdin.
Robin Williams in Aladdin.
So you look to Chaplin
in four steps.
Wow.
Is De Niro in Rocky
and Bullwinkle?
Yeah, he's the fearless leader.
He's the villain.
Here's your device back.
All right,
let's get out of here.
This has gone on too long.
We can trim this up.
What is it now, like 35 minutes?
You asshole.
Okay.
Okay.
This has been Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions.
Ah. Colossal Obsessions
Colossal Obsessions