Girls Gone Bible - Addiction | Girls Gone Bible

Episode Date: July 26, 2024

hi sweet GGB :) we're back this week for a vulnerable, honest and informative episode on addiction. addicts are worshippers. we're all hardwired for worship. we believe every single one of us-- deal...s with some sort of addiction. we talk about addictions to the big stuff like drugs, alcohol and sex but also addictions to the smaller and seemingly innocent stuff like the phone, toxic relationships and negative thought patterns. we cover the topic of addiction from many different angles and shed light on the victory and freedom we find in Jesus from our addictions. we love you all so much. Jesus loves you more. -Ang & Ari if you’d like to support Girls Gone Bible 🙏🏻🕊️🤍 Paypal- https://www.paypal.me/girlsgonebibleinfo Venmo- https://www.venmo.com/u/girlsgonebible HEY WHILE WE'RE HERE. WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO RATE & LEAVE COMMENTS ON SPOTIFY & APPLE PODS. IT HELPS US. OK BYE NOW LOVE YOU

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, I'm Ange. And I'm Ari and this is Girls Gone Bible. We talk everything Jesus, the Bible, mental health, you name it, we talk about it. We always say come as you are, just don't stay that way. Hi guys. What's up, Ari? What's up? Okay, I have to turn my phone off.
Starting point is 00:00:23 I'm so sorry everybody. I am so sorry, everybody. I just felt it under me. Were you addicted to it? Were you tender right next to you? That was a good one. That was a good one. What's up? Not much, can't wait to talk about addiction today.
Starting point is 00:00:37 I know. Well, how's your week? Good, what did we do? I don't know. Oh wait, no, I went to Vegas. I went to Vegas to go see my family for a second. How was that, was it demonic? It was so good being with my brother and his sister,
Starting point is 00:00:52 and his sister, my sister-in-law, his wife, I'm the sister. It was so good being with them, but yeah, Vegas just scares me. I don't know why, I feel, it's just heavy there for me, personally, but we're also like on the strip Yeah, I feel like Vegas gets such a bad rap because nobody I bet anyone who lives like outside in the suburbs is like hello Like it's there's a world out there. That's not the strip, but yeah, it's hard for me to go to Vegas
Starting point is 00:01:17 I we were gonna go to the Usher concert. Yeah, he's still there. I don't think he is you know I went I went to the Usher concert with my mom my sister--in-law, and my two-year-old niece at the time. Really? We brought her. And was it fun? It was so much fun. I'm trying to think of my...
Starting point is 00:01:35 I think mine's... You got... What is it? You got a bed and you want to... Oh, maybe that's something we shouldn't sing. I don't know if we should sing that. Anyways, I'm going home tomorrow. I am so excited.
Starting point is 00:01:51 There is nothing like East Coast summers. I don't know if you guys have ever been to the Cape, but my dad has a little lake house and it's just the best. My dad is the best, you guys. I always, he is literally, isn't he the funniest guy ever? I love him so much. He is literally such a goof. Every time I'm with him, I'm like,
Starting point is 00:02:11 I wish you guys could be with us, because he is just the funniest guy ever. He is so insane. He's so funny, it's the best thing in my life. Yeah, so I'm just gonna have some family time. I actually think this next week, I'm gonna shut off my social media and be present with my family
Starting point is 00:02:28 and just really rest my soul and just be with them and enjoy them. You know? I love that. Yeah, I'm so excited. I wish I could go with you. I know, I'm so sad. We are in August though.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Yeah, we'll go. We'll do a little Cape summer vacation. And you can talk in a Boston accent the whole time. The whole time, The whole time. The whole time. I'm not gonna do it right now. I don't even think my accent's that bad, honestly. What do you guys think?
Starting point is 00:02:51 I think it's amazing. I think it's my favorite thing about you. Can you hear it bad? Okay, like right now, do you feel that I have an accent? No, because you're doing something that's not out. Just let it fly that's not out. Just let it fly, let it out. Whatever, Inch. Whatever, babe.
Starting point is 00:03:10 No, I love that. I love your Boston accent so much. Yeah. Yeah. I think that we're... I just feel really tall right now. I don't know how to... We're sitting on pillows.
Starting point is 00:03:20 I feel like I'm hoovering over the table. I love it. We're sitting on these pillows because we're so little. Well, I'm not. I'm tall. Yeah, you are. I'm little. What are we talking about today?
Starting point is 00:03:32 We're talking about addiction. Yeah. Take it away, Ange. We're talking about addiction, something that plagues everybody. And I think anybody listening might be like, oh, addiction, I don't struggle with that. I am not on drugs or alcohol or, you know, all the other things, gambling or all of the mainstream hardcore addictions. But I think what we're all going to realize today is that anybody and
Starting point is 00:03:58 everybody is susceptible to addiction and there most likely is something that you are addicted to that has to take precedent over your relationship with Jesus. So we're thinking we'll start out with Psalm 63. We're looking throughout the Bible, studying, being like, what is a good story on addiction? And Ari and I came to the conclusion that there's this Psalm, Psalm 63 that is kind of, just kick it off today, let's start out with talking about how victorious we are through Jesus.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Oh God, you are my God. I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you. My whole body longs for you. In this parched and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. Your unfailing love is better than itself. How I praise you! I will praise you as long as I live,
Starting point is 00:04:57 lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. Because you are my helper, I sing for joy and the shadow of your wings. I cling to you. Your strong right hand holds me securely.
Starting point is 00:05:20 But those plotting to destroy me, your addictions, will come to ruin. They will go down into the depths of the earth. They will die by the sword and become the food of jackals. But the king will rejoice in God. All who swear to tell the truth will praise him, while liars will be silenced." I love this little part where it says, you satisfy me more than the richest feast. Jesus satisfies us more than anything
Starting point is 00:05:49 that we could possibly turn to. He's the only satisfaction. So, addiction is a really scary thing. It's really scary and it ruins lives and it inhibits you from actually living a normal life. Addiction comes in so many different forms and as you guys know, if you're returning family or if you have seen some of our episodes I have struggled with every type of addiction or if you have seen some of our episodes,
Starting point is 00:06:25 I have struggled with every type of addiction possible. I have battled a nicotine addiction, I have battled disordered eating, I have had to get sober from alcohol. And so this is something that is not new to me. This is something I've been dealing with for a very long time that is something that is not new to me. This is something I've been dealing with for a very long time that is something that I battle all the time.
Starting point is 00:06:51 And it's something that I think is kind of, it's like my theme of what I, we're all battling something. And I think we all have like a lifelong battle. For most of us, there's one thing. Some people it's more than one thing, but there's always one thing that it's like, this might just be mine, this is my fight. And so I thought it was kind of,
Starting point is 00:07:18 I haven't done a lot of therapy, but I love introspective work and I have been trying so hard to figure out like what the root of my addiction is Because yeah, I have an addictive personality for sure. Yes. I believe it's genetic. I think it's been passed down through generations But I've been thinking so much recently about like what because everything is formed in childhood Everything starts like it's just so funny how so often we disregard children because we're like, ah, they're just kids. They don't know. They can't hear. They don't understand. But it's like literally our whole selves are formed as children.
Starting point is 00:07:56 And then we have to spend the rest of our lives like healing from whatever we happened when we were children. It's the craziest thing. But I am first generation Albanian immigrant, Albanian American immigrant. So my family came over here from Albania. It's a country in between Italy and Greece. It's this small but mighty country. Albanians are very patriotic and they love being Albanian so much. I love where I come from.
Starting point is 00:08:26 My parents came here, I think I was like two years old, I think they came in 1999 I believe or maybe 2000. And it took so much for my family to get here. Anybody who is an immigrant or comes from an immigrant family, you know what it takes to get over here. And it's really, really hard. Especially like my family, my parents grew up in communist Albania
Starting point is 00:08:52 where it was just total civil unrest in the country. And so they came to the states through political asylum. They got their green cards a few years later. We became citizens in 2010. But like anyone who comes from an immigrant family knows that you fight, like they're fighters. My family is a family of fighters. And they've had to fight their whole lives.
Starting point is 00:09:20 And I've had to fight my whole life. And there's just kind of been, there's an overarching of been this overarching thing for my family that they've been in survival mode their whole lives. And you know, you have to, when you have to come from another country, when you have no money, you have nothing except
Starting point is 00:09:42 three children, three small children. I was a baby and my parents are just, you know, trying to survive. That's what they're spending their days and their nights doing is trying to survive. And like my mom, I wish that you guys could know my mom. Like we wish they could know your dad. My mom is the greatest woman in the world
Starting point is 00:10:02 and she is such a fighter. And I got my warrior spirit from her. She has, the things that I've seen her go through, it's ridiculous. And so they're just in survival mode, they're surviving. And so I think growing up in a situation where everyone is just doing their best to survive, you automatically, it's like there's kind of no room for feelings, you know?
Starting point is 00:10:34 And so, yeah, it's, and it's a beautiful thing because I love the spirit that we have to fight. But obviously fighting is exhausting or it will become... I really don't want to cry so I'm trying so hard. It's okay. I try to figure out... I try to figure out like at what point, I don't even know what I'm saying now. So growing up in this situation where, fighter,
Starting point is 00:11:13 you're fighting, feelings often time take the back seat, and which resulted in so much like avoidance and stuffing and just, I would learn that like escapism, in whatever form I could find it, would become my absolute best friend. And so, I'm, I realized that like in early age, whatever I could find that could either distract or numb, or just like lift the burden of whatever I was feeling
Starting point is 00:11:47 in any given moment, I realize like this is good. I really like this. I really like escaping. I really like numbing. I really like running, you know? And I feel like anyone who deals with addiction, you're just running. Like you are running as fast as you can away from yourself
Starting point is 00:12:08 so that you don't have to face anything that you're going through. Yeah. And so I grow up and I continue this long standing situation of just escaping in any way that I can, which led to all sorts of disorders and like, addictions and habits and vices and like, that's been like the humor of our friendship is like,
Starting point is 00:12:36 oh, what's Angela on now? Like, what's her OCD doing now? What's she obsessed with now? And it's like every olive is just a way out. It's a way away from this so I don't have to see this and addiction is really just evidence of inner turmoil like it's evidence that your inner world is Unwell that you're in pain and that you're running and that you're numbing and that you're just trying so hard
Starting point is 00:13:02 to not have to deal with whatever's going on in here. And addictions again come in all forms. And so many, you touched on it last week, even this phone is a major addiction that people deal with. You don't just have to be on drugs. And so I think today we'll talk so much about how like anybody can become addicted to something, anybody. And if you are somebody who's saying, but that's not me, I have nothing to be, I have nothing that I'm addicted to this episode,
Starting point is 00:13:31 I'll just watch for fun. I encourage you to ask yourself, what is it that you are mastered by? What are you, what do you easily bow down to? What is a thought pattern that you easily resort back to that's comfortable, that feels familiar? Because the root of addiction is idolatry. It's anything that you put above Jesus, anything, even something that's not damaging or detrimental to your life is an idol. And so we have to work on tearing all these things down and being honest with yourself in saying like the phone, the ex-boyfriend or girlfriend that's not good for me, the sexual sin, the friendships that are toxic, the alcohol, the drugs, whatever it may be, these are all things that we have to start to tear down because it will, we have to get to the bottom of it at the very beginning. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:33 You know? So true. So true. I know when we were doing this episode, I think we agreed on it like a week ago, I thought to myself, well, I don't really have an addictive personality, so I'll be the one to like kind of listen. But as I really sat with myself, I felt a little bit ignorant as I said that because, oh, yes, I do.
Starting point is 00:14:52 And I have it comes in. And like you said, it comes it's not just alcoholism or drug addiction. It comes in so many forms. It comes with your thoughts. And that's where my addiction is. Yeah. My thoughts, and that's been the biggest battle for me to work through is, and I love that you said,
Starting point is 00:15:14 everything goes back to your childhood. It does, it goes back to when you're a little girl or a little boy and your obsessive thoughts can come from abandonment, unworthiness, and that's been my addiction. And yeah, and even like, you're even ignorant if you say, oh yeah, that would never happen to me. I love that you said that too.
Starting point is 00:15:39 I can't even tell you how many stories I have heard. That's why we all have to be so careful. You break a leg, you go to the doctor, they say, here, just, that's why I think all addiction comes from deception. You know, you're ignorant to it, and then that's how the enemy gets in. You go to a doctor, they say, oh yeah,
Starting point is 00:15:57 just take this to easy, next thing you know, you're addicted to that. Again, I love what you said, whatever you're mastered by, whatever you can't stop thinking about is what you're addicted to. Right. Yeah. It's so true.
Starting point is 00:16:11 You know, can I tell you about the first time that I became, because I am not, I've said it before, exempt from a nicotine addiction, which is just like, ugh. So I remember when vapes came out, none of us knew what they were. I think I was like, I don't know, maybe 20 when they became like a serious thing. And a few years ago when nobody knew what this really was and like people in high school were smoking vapes, like it was just a very normal thing that me and everybody around me, all of a sudden got addicted to nicotine, having never smoked before, like it was just a very weird time when like,
Starting point is 00:16:53 vape started to come out. And I remember just being like, I think I smoked a vape for like two years and just being an absolute slave, like waking up in the middle of the night, like going through a withdrawal period if I didn't have a vape for a certain amount of time, like it led to so much anxiety,
Starting point is 00:17:10 so much just physical anxiety, emotional anxiety, like it's so bad for you. And then if your body is constantly addicted, like the physiological aspect of it, where your body is constantly feening for something that it's not even supposed to have in the first place is like so much chaos in your body at all times. It's so bad for you. And I remember, and I was vaping like before I really entered into a relationship with Jesus. And then I remember I quit during quarantine and I like threw it away.
Starting point is 00:17:45 I don't know, I just made a decision all of a sudden. I think my mom told me, she's so smart. I think my mom was like, she said something that challenged me. She was like, I know you can't do it, or something like that. And I was like, don't dare me. I can't turn down a dare by the way.
Starting point is 00:18:02 I literally, please don't dare me to do something bad for me because I'll do it. And so I threw the vape away that day. And then I went like a year and a half probably, never touching it again. And then I was around somebody a year and a half later. And I had to go through withdrawals, like it was just miserable.
Starting point is 00:18:20 It was so, so miserable. But then I was so proud of myself. I made it to the other side. And then I was around somebody that was vaping. And I didn't know at this point really how addiction worked. I knew alcohol, I will never touch it, I'm good, I'm good. Our breakup was so bad that there's no going back. Like, I know full well that I pick it up one time,
Starting point is 00:18:42 I'm back like I never left. With vaping, I didn't quite know yet that it would be the same exact thing. And actually, me going back to vaping was a really good thing because I remember in that moment being like, oh, this is exactly what would happen if I started drinking again. I hit somebody's vape one time.
Starting point is 00:19:00 And imagine a year and a half without having this thing that I used to be addicted to, immediately triggered my body into putting me directly, exactly back into the place that I used to be. So I thought that I was strong enough to do this thing one time, deception. You think that, oh, but it's just one time, oh, but it's not that big of a deal,
Starting point is 00:19:21 oh, but I'm already healed from it, so it won't be like how it used to be. And it was such a good lesson for me to know. Don't, it says in Scripture, don't let the enemy have a foothold in your life. Don't have, give him any opening. Don't open any door. And then so after that, I would then result in this cycle of like vaping and then quitting. And then vaping because I didn't understand yet that I had to give this thing up, that it's not the way my brain works,
Starting point is 00:19:46 there is no one time. You know, and for most of us, there is no one time. It's not even worth trying. And then at one point, I was really close to Jesus, really, really full in my spiritual life and I had spiritual awareness. I understood now what it felt like to have an idol. I knew what it felt like to be close to Jesus and then have something separating us.
Starting point is 00:20:07 And I remember when I was vaping, it was the first time that I was like, this thing that isn't... I'm not on drugs, I'm not doing... it's not altering my state of mind, but this thing is separating me from Jesus. It's not necessarily a sin, but it has separated me from Jesus because I have put it above him. My body needs this thing more than it needs Jesus. And I realized with my spiritual awareness
Starting point is 00:20:34 for the first time, I was like, this is what having an idol feels like, and this is what it does to my relationship with God. Yeah, it's so true. Addiction is, it's sad because we beat ourselves up and we're like, I'm different. Like why, I'll never come out of this. Addiction all comes because we wanna heal.
Starting point is 00:20:56 And so we go to that thing because we want to heal. We wanna be better, so we self numb. I grew up around addicts my whole life. You think even weed,, even something as weed, like you think, oh, you're having a tough day and you wanna come home and you just wanna hit the weed or hit the vape or whatever it is. You don't understand how detrimental it is to your mind.
Starting point is 00:21:20 I see it, I see it when I go home. It is ruining your mind, your body. I am so sick of it. I have lost half of my high school to drugs, to heroin. It is ruining our world. It is the enemy. It is the devil. And I'm sick of it.
Starting point is 00:21:41 So evil. I am so sick of it. I think we should really talk about alcohol and drugs first because we there I know there are many forms and I want to get into the thoughts because the thoughts are such an addiction. It's something that I battled and we can get into but the drugs and alcohol let's really I really want to tackle that right now because it is destroying because it is destroying us. It is destroying us. Even when I go out to a restaurant
Starting point is 00:22:10 and I'm looking around and I'm just, it's ruining our minds. It's separating us from God. There's nothing that good that comes from these things. Even one time, once in a while, when you wanna do it, there's nothing good that comes from it. You know, I... The pills is what is...
Starting point is 00:22:31 I see it all the time, too. It's what's destroying our world. And, you know, you go through... Even for me, this is very vulnerable, but I never thought I could be addicted to anything until you're in a place of vulnerability, and that's where the enemy creeps in and he says, Oh, there I gotcha. And you're in this place of depression and you just want to get better and you don't know where to turn to. And even when you're praying, you're not getting relief and you're still struggling.
Starting point is 00:23:01 So you say, Oh, well, I got to go take that Xanax or that pill to help me sleep. You guys, you don't understand. It is just, you think that it eases you in that moment because that pain goes away, and then you wake up and you just feel worse. Can we talk about that? The sin cycle and the drug cycle. Drugs and sin, they're like the same thing,
Starting point is 00:23:24 and alcohol, where you are feeling really bad, and then you take something, and it makes you feel better for a very short period of time, and then when it wears off, you feel so much worse, and then you need to take even more so you could feel better again. That's exactly what I wanna say. You think that that one pill, you take that one pill,
Starting point is 00:23:47 well then the next day when you're still feeling like that, you want to take it again and then you take it again and then you find yourself in this cycle and it's years later and then you're so reliant on it and then you gotta take a higher dose, then you gotta keep going and going and then you're taking, that's what's ruining us. It's so bad.
Starting point is 00:24:04 When really we have, Jesus said, I will be departing from you, but I will send you a helper. We fail to forget that we have a helper that is dwelling inside of us, that is living with us, that is gonna help us, that delivers us,
Starting point is 00:24:21 that casted demons out of people, that is right there. You don't think he will deliver you and help you and be there and deliver you from your addiction? Preach, preach, thank you. We will definitely finish today off with the power that is in the name of Jesus because we are not, we, everything that we go through is subject to Jesus.
Starting point is 00:24:46 Jesus took captivity captive, so please you guys, let's stop letting something take us captive when we can run to the one who took captivity captive. And whatever has you captive right now, Jesus has the power to set you free. He will, He can, who the Son sets free is free indeed. And I love what you say about this Incredibly toxic cycle that happens with drugs and people just want to feel better
Starting point is 00:25:12 And that's the problem and that's what's so sad about all of this and can we go back really quick to what you said earlier? about how you think that you Don't be so ignorant in thinking that either you, one, don't have addiction, or two, you can never be somebody. Because let me tell you, I never understood the signs of my personality. I didn't understand, I didn't have language to put to it. I didn't know that now looking back,
Starting point is 00:25:36 I look at everything and be like, oh, that makes so much sense why I operate this way. But I never in a million years thought that I would be so down bad, so unbelievably down bad that I was emotionally and physically dependent on alcohol. I never thought, I remember being in that situation being like there's no way this is me right now. There's no way that I got here. I was, I'm strong, I'm good, I'm this, I'm that. And then oops, all of a sudden you mess around and then you find out that we are way more
Starting point is 00:26:12 fragile than we think. We are so strong through Jesus and we are incredibly weak on our own. You know, what's important about this is the physical, the physiology, yeah, physiology behind everything that has to do with addiction. I watched something and this is how they put it. So how you said earlier, it's deception. Deception leads to temptation. Temptation leads to sin, which leads to habitual sin, which then leads to addiction. So you don't really oftentimes just become addicted all of a sudden. There are steps to it. You think it's innocent, you think it's harmless, you think it's okay, it's just one time, it's not that bad. All of a sudden, you are, your life is in danger because you're addicted to something that's really bad for you. And somebody said addiction
Starting point is 00:26:58 is the physical consequence of a constant yielding to temptation. You keep choosing to yield, your flesh gets stronger. Eventually your flesh alters your brain chemistry and bodily cravings. So we, the more that we give into our flesh, Stephanie's gonna be on next week, I'm just letting the cat out of the bag there. Stephanie said the most incredible thing I've ever heard. She said either the more you feed your flesh,
Starting point is 00:27:27 the less in line you are with God's will because God aligns with our spirit. Yeah, God's spirit aligns with our spirit. So the more that we give it, and he can't align with our flesh, he doesn't commune with our flesh. So the more we give into the flesh, the further we get from God,
Starting point is 00:27:41 and the stronger the flesh gets, and the less control we have over it. So you have to either never start at all or stop things before they're bad. I want to encourage you guys that if you're in a position right now where you're involved in something that doesn't seem that bad yet, I want you to understand that it will get there. It can and it will get there.
Starting point is 00:28:02 So let's stop it before it even starts. It says in James 1, 14-15, temptation comes from our own desires which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions and when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. The more you let something happen, the more you let it grow, the worse it gets, the harder it will be to eventually Jesus can deliver you from anything, no matter how bad it is, He can and He will. But let's not even get there. I wish, I'm so happy for everything that I've been through lot of scars had I just stopped a little bit sooner because I really did damage physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. Yeah. You guys, it's hot outside and your nighttime bedroom temperature has a huge impact on your sleep quality.
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Starting point is 00:30:25 So if you aren't 100% satisfied, you'll get a full refund. Upgrade your sleep with Miracle Made. Go to claim your free three-piece towel set and save over 40% off GGB to treat yourself. Thank you Miracle Made for sponsoring this episode. In Romans 7 verse 19, we read what Paul says. He said, for I do, I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do this. I keep on doing now, if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer who I do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work. Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For my inner being, I delight in God's law, but I see another law at work in me,
Starting point is 00:31:12 waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. And then he says at the bottom, thanks to God who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law. But in my sinful nature, a slave to the law of sin, I just, I see so many people, especially like where I grew up, they're just so, they have no hope. They're like, I've been doing this my whole life.
Starting point is 00:31:47 I'm never gonna get out of this. I mean, I have to rely on this. It's too late. I'll die. You know what I've heard actually? I'll die if I stop doing it. It's just too late. No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:31:59 No, it's not too late. I wanna encourage you guys because I have a lot of friends who have been freed of addiction. You know, you can be delivered by God, yes, of course, but that you also need to be in community. The 12-step program of AA is an incredible program. You know why I love AA? Because it's spiritual. It's all about God. And then you have a sponsor that can hold your hand. I believe we cannot get through this on our own. We need God and we need community. And another way that is bringing you down that bad road,
Starting point is 00:32:35 who are you hanging out with? What environment are you around? Scripture says, bad company corrupts good character. Oh yes it will, you can be the most perfect person, have never done anything in your whole life and the minute you start hanging out with the wrong crew, oh believe me, you can go down a bad road. No matter how much self control you have,
Starting point is 00:32:59 because you are who you hang out with. So I just want to encourage you, everyone, I want to encourage you guys, look at the crowd you're hanging out with. So I just want to encourage you, everyone, I want to encourage you guys, look at the crowd you're hanging around with, you know? And so the 12-step program is an incredible program. It changed my dad's life. You know, he had someone hold his hand through it, and then he was able to do that for someone else. Some of you guys think you are a lost cause, but really God loves these stories because you are about to be a testimony for someone. You are about to help the person behind you
Starting point is 00:33:32 because of what you went through. All the addiction that you battled, you'll be able to help someone just like Angela is able to help you guys. So I just, I know how much shame people carry that have addiction because I've watched it my whole life. I really have. And little do you guys know you guys are going to be able to just be such a testimony to others.
Starting point is 00:33:57 It's so true. It's, thank you Jesus, it's so true. I honestly, I just love the idea that God really will make everything new. And the shame that you're talking about is the reason why so many people stay in addiction. Because you wake up from whatever you're going through. I know for me, and again, it's not just drugs and alcohol. I know if you partake in any sort of situation afterwards, or when you wake up the next morning, that shame, that next day shame, no matter what it was, literally, no matter what it is,
Starting point is 00:34:33 that shame that you experience can feel so unbearable. And it's like this daunting feeling of what have I done? Why is, what is my life right now? What is going on around me? And then again, you find yourself in a place that if you don't have Jesus to run to, if you don't look for the only one who can bring you that peace,
Starting point is 00:34:55 who can bring you that comfort, of course you're gonna resort back to whatever it is you are going through. Of course you will. I see so many people all the time who get freed, who get delivered, and then they go back and they keep on going back. And it's just absolutely heartbreaking. And I want you to understand that if you're somebody who keeps going back again, it doesn't have to just be drugs. I don't know if it's a person
Starting point is 00:35:20 that you keep going back to or if it's a thought that you keep going back to, but there is the power, the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead, dwells within you, and that is a spirit of power to overcome. Whatever is going on in here, you can overcome. Please understand that. Coming from someone who has given in to my flesh, who has given in to the things that were mastering me and controlling me.
Starting point is 00:35:46 And then once I had the revelation of who Jesus is, it changed everything for me. And you know what I do in moments of temptation, regardless of what it is, I will stand up immediately and be like, no, I'm not going to let this happen right now. Because the second I close, what you conceal, God cannot heal. What you don't reveal, He cannot heal for you. And so for me, when I keep things in secret, I know we've talked about it before, but when I keep quiet, it starts to fester and it festers and I can fight all I want by myself. I can really try my hardest, like, no, I'm not going to give a note.
Starting point is 00:36:21 And then I do whatever it might be. But if I call somebody and I just get up and I go take a walk and I call somebody and I say something is happening and I'm feeling like this and this is what I'm feeling, can you talk to me? There is not, I bet you not, 10 out of 10 times, you're gonna be able to overcome that temptation because you stopped it before it even started.
Starting point is 00:36:43 And that's the whole battle. And again, if you're already deep in something, run to Jesus in the middle of your addiction. I don't care if you are in the middle of sin. I'm gonna tell you guys something. I have literally been in the middle of sin and then got down on my knees and repented in the middle. And it is the, I can't imagine how pleasing that is to Jesus
Starting point is 00:37:03 that I did not let shame get in the way of And it is the, I can't imagine how pleasing that is to Jesus, that I did not let shame get in the way of my reconciliation to Him, that I did come boldly to the throne of grace, regardless of what I was doing, regardless of what I was involved in. And that was where my freedom came, to be like, I don't care how bad it is, I'm coming to you no matter what. I love that you say that. I think we're so passionate about this because we're not two girls who are just like, oh yeah you can be free from addiction, oh yeah you can be free from sin. We're saying this to you because we lived it. We lived it. I mean, I know I say this all the time but I
Starting point is 00:37:39 will never stop saying it because I'm so passionate about it because I watched how He worked in my mind. I truly, my mind had mastery over me. Truly, since I was just a little girl, never thought I could ever be free from it. And He did because I ran to Him. Without that, it's the only way. You will always be a slave to your sin if you don't have Jesus. You know? You can't overcome your flesh. I love that you say that you just have to ask the scripture in Matthew 7 verse 7. Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be open to you. For everyone who asks receives. The one who seeks finds and the one knocks, the door will be opened. All you have to do is come to the door and say, Jesus, I need you, and the door will
Starting point is 00:38:33 be opened. God wants to heal you and he wants to deliver you, but you have to just be willing. And all it takes is the smallest seed of faith. You don't have to be strong. You can be faith. You don't have to be strong. You can be messy. You don't have to have it all together. When I came to him, I was a mess. I couldn't even see straight.
Starting point is 00:38:53 But it was just that small seed of faith that I came before him and said, I need your help. And that's truly all it takes. And he opens that door and he says, I'm ready, here I go. And it's not going to be an overnight process. And I think the problem is that people are like, well, nothing's happening. I'm still having these thoughts. I'm still feeling like I want to run to these addictions.
Starting point is 00:39:19 It's going to be a battle. It might be a battle for you for your whole life. It's a battle for me daily. I battle with thoughts. I have to take them captive. Sometimes I'm like, oh my gosh, am I back here? That's okay. That doesn't mean that he's forsaken me,
Starting point is 00:39:35 but he's still walking with me. But it's my decision. It's my choice to fight every single day. Amen, amen. It's so true. To your point of it might feel like nothing is happening, when I was still drinking, I think I met Socrates probably in the beginning of the year.
Starting point is 00:39:55 I didn't get sober until November. So that is however many months of me getting on my knees, going to a church, praying every single day with it seemingly looking like nothing was happening. So I want you guys to understand that there's a couple of ways that God heals and delivers. Sometimes it's instant, and then sometimes,
Starting point is 00:40:15 I don't know, it's the mystery of God. I wish I could give you the exact reason why it's like this, but sometimes He waits and He waits and He orchestrates and He gets all the stars aligned and all the cosmos in order and then all of A sudden your deliverance happens on a day that you don't expect it. That's what happened I did not plan on Thanksgiving 2019 to give up the drink. I don't know why he chose that day I have no idea
Starting point is 00:40:37 All I know is that I prayed every single day for probably six months and it looked like nothing about my situation Changed and I was in the middle of my sin, in the middle of my addiction, but still praying. And then God showed up when he saw it fit. So you pray like it says without seizing. You don't stop. You keep going even if it doesn't look like anything is changing. Please understand that our prayers don't just like happen in the physical. They happen in the physical. They happen in a world that we can't see with our natural eyes. We pray and it gets released into the spirit where God orchestrates things and he does things and he moves things.
Starting point is 00:41:15 And it's not for us to see, but that's where faith comes in. And if I'm being honest, I didn't, I don't even know if I had faith. I don't even, I wasn't praying the way that I pray now. I wasn't praying in declaration like, God, I am healed in Jesus' name. I was yelling out saying, please, for the love of God, I'm going to die if this doesn't change. But it happened after a while and it took a while. So I'm begging you to not be discouraged. And even things you guys like my disordered eating where I did pray with faith and I did watch myself and other people get healed constantly and I said but God why doesn't this
Starting point is 00:41:50 change for me why am I not getting better that was another situation that did not happen overnight for me but it took a while and yes there are times where the thoughts go back and we'll get into thoughts but really quick do you mind if I just talk about something that I wanna read from Exodus really quick? Yeah. So I've been, so we've been, I've read a little bit about this on tour a couple of times because I just think it's so important,
Starting point is 00:42:18 but I wanna read it on here today because it goes perfectly with addiction. So I ask you guys, please read Genesis. Please read Exodus. There is nothing like the beginning of our faith, the story of creation. It's my absolute favorite coming from someone who used to only read a page if I saw Jesus' name on it.
Starting point is 00:42:38 I hated, I didn't want to read anything that wasn't about Jesus. As we know, this is all about Jesus and all points to Jesus. So there's this story in Exodus where Jacob and his family enter the land of Egypt because there was a famine in the land of Canaan. And as we know, Jacob is the son of Isaac. Isaac is the son of Abraham, and Abraham is basically the patriarch of our faith. He's the one that God made a covenant with, that he would be the father of many nations, that all of his descendants would be blessed through him, that his descendants would be as countless as the stars, and that he would inherit the land, the promised land of Israel. And so at this point, Jacob, they initially welcome Jacob and his family because Joseph, Jacob's
Starting point is 00:43:27 son, is in a high position of power in Egypt. But then when Joseph dies, the pharaoh, the rising pharaoh, he didn't know Joseph. So now they're looking at Jacob and his family, who their family just starts multiplying and multiplying and multiplying because God's promise of you're going to have your descendants will be blessed and multiply is on their family. So they're in Egypt and the Israelites are becoming so many that now they're like overpowering the Egyptians because they don't stop growing in number. And then the Egyptians are so threatened by the Israelites that they enslave all of them.
Starting point is 00:44:05 And they would spend the next 400 years in brutal, horrible, horrific living conditions and doing such hard labor. And then eventually, it's a long story, and I really encourage you guys to go read it because it's so good, eventually God appoints Moses to basically liberate the Israelites from their slavery and lead them out of Egypt through the wilderness back to the land of Canaan, which is the promised land that God promised would be flowing with milk and honey. And then so many things happen. There's 10 plagues, the Passover, the parting of the Red Sea. I really want you guys to read it because it's rich, it's good. And then we get to this point where it's supposed to take 11 days for them to get from Egypt to Israel,
Starting point is 00:44:50 and it ended up taking them 40 years, as most of us know, because of their rebellion and their disobedience to God, because they were, their unbelief, they doubted everything that God promised them, they doubted, because their situation and their circumstance didn't look exactly like what God had promised. And I think that's what happens with us so often is that usually when we're in a process of going from the wilderness or slavery to the promised land, the middle part doesn't look good. It doesn't look fun. Getting over addiction doesn't feel good. Getting over a breakup isn't fun and it doesn't look like what God promises it's supposed to feel like. And so in Exodus chapter 12 there's this moment, I'm sorry, it's Exodus chapter 14 verse 10, it says, as Pharaoh approached, the people of Israel looked up and panicked as they saw
Starting point is 00:45:48 the Egyptians overtaking them. They cried out to the Lord, and they said to Moses, why did you bring us out here to die in the wilderness? Weren't there enough graves for us in Egypt? What have you done to us? Why did you make us leave Egypt? Didn't we tell you that this would happen while we were still in Egypt?
Starting point is 00:46:06 We said, leave us alone, let us be slaves to the Egyptians. It's better to be a slave in Egypt than a course in the wilderness. They're saying, God literally delivered them from slavery and they're saying we had it better over there because we're in more pain right now. They literally say, leave us alone, let us be slaves to the Egyptians.
Starting point is 00:46:25 And so many of us are like, you know what, just let me be a slave to this sin. Just let me be a slave to this bad thought process or my anxiety or my depression. I'm comfortable here. This is what I know. This is what's familiar. But Moses told the people, don't be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. The Lord Himself will fight for you. Just stay calm." I think about when he says, the Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. Just stay calm. The Lord will fight for you. The issues that we're feeling right now, the addiction, the problems, the pain,
Starting point is 00:47:05 whatever it is, it's saying it will never be seen again. Once it's gone, it won't, but you have to push past that threshold of getting over, of removing yourself, of quitting whatever it might be. And I always, oh, and then there's this one more part that's actually hilarious. They literally wanted to be slaves again. In Exodus 16 verse 3, it says, if only the Lord had killed us back in Egypt. God said to them directly, you are going to the promised land,
Starting point is 00:47:35 flowing with milk and honey. You will never be slaves again. It's going to be so beautiful. And they said, if only the Lord had just killed us back in Egypt. They moaned. There we sat around pots filled with meat and ate all the bread we wanted. But now you have brought us into this wilderness to starve us all to death. And I'm like, there's two things that we can talk about because when people go through breakups,
Starting point is 00:47:58 for example, it is pain. Breakups are so painful and it's, they're so hard and that period of pain after a breakup and it is like a withdrawal period because you're withdrawing from love, you're withdrawing from the presence of this person that you love. You go through a breakup because maybe you know it's not good for you, maybe they left you, maybe God called you to leave this situation because it's not his best for you. And so you're out of the situation and you're in the wilderness. And if you just endure, and if you just keep going, you will enter the promised land. You will come to the other side where God promised you there's healing.
Starting point is 00:48:37 He promised you that there's freedom. He promised you there's the spouse that is actually good for you. But because we can't endure this part, so often we go back. And we wanna go back. And sometimes we spend years wanting to go back to something that is so bad for us
Starting point is 00:48:55 that God himself came down, put his hand on it, plucked us out of and delivered us from it. But we just can't see it yet. He's asking us to look over here here but we can't stop looking backwards. Isn't it funny how we do that? It's insane. And you can understand with your mind, be like, no, I know this isn't good for me but it doesn't subside the pain that I'm feeling from leaving this situation that was more comfortable. Or I think about going through withdrawals. I've had to withdraw from nicotine
Starting point is 00:49:26 and from alcohol. And I know if you've ever gone through withdrawals, it is one of the most painful things that you will ever go through. Any sort of withdrawal, even emotional withdrawal is hard too, but that physical withdrawal of being addicted to something and then cutting it cold turkey, being addicted to something and then cutting it cold turkey. I know if God delivered me from the land of addiction and He promises me total freedom, and it'll be like the Egyptians will never be seen again, my issues that I'm dealing with will never be seen again if I just endure this period of withdrawal
Starting point is 00:49:59 and I don't go back to the thing that God delivered me from and I enter into the promised land where I'll be free from it. But so often, so many of us have the courage to quit something, and then we're just not strong. We think we're just not strong enough to endure the withdrawal, so we go back. Please, you guys, stop going back to the things that God already delivered you from.
Starting point is 00:50:24 The person, the thing, the drug, the thoughts, even things as little as like anything, anything, looking at things that you're not supposed to look, just anything, no matter what it is that is taking up space in your mind that is hurting you, that's harming you, that's keeping you back, that's keeping you in the past, let it go and move forward. You have the ability to. Yeah. I think that enduring stage where it's so painful, that you're like crawling out of your skin, that is the time where God gets to work. And I didn't understand that. And I'm telling you guys, I'm a living testimony of
Starting point is 00:51:06 the heartbreak and how I was crawling out of my skin for a very long time and how I reached to the promised land because I didn't give up. And I kept chasing the light. I didn't keep going in the darkness. It was really dark. But I, one thing about myself and my journey and in my testimony was I was chasing the light. It was so dark, but I was chasing the light. And because I didn't stop chasing that light, I got to the promised land. And man, thank you, Jesus, that I didn't give up because I am living in the best time of my whole life. Thank God I look at my life sometimes because I know how dark it was
Starting point is 00:51:50 and what I had to endure, what I had to endure, the pain and the suffering, I had to endure. And I look back at those nights and those mornings, and it was so dark, those nights and those mornings, but I look at where I am now and I'm like, thank God I stuck through it. Thank God I didn't give up. Thank God I just kept chasing Jesus because I'm truly in this place that I dreamt of being and it's beautiful. I love what you said
Starting point is 00:52:30 I love what you said about, I think you said something about, I don't know, about comfort and your pain or something like that. Oh yeah, because it's comfortable and familiar. It's familiar and I know that because I also, I think it goes back again, like how you grew up. Did you grow up in dysfunction? Did you grow up in a lot of like turmoil and pain? Well, if you did, that feeling can become comfortable. So I know like, for me even, like that became comfort to me.
Starting point is 00:52:57 It's all I knew. So if I started to feel love, or if I started to feel anything else other than turmoil, it was weird for me. And so I would encourage you guys to really, and you don't even realize that, I didn't even realize. And so that's a great thing to really talk to somebody about because we are not meant to live in dysfunction.
Starting point is 00:53:21 Our mind is everything. What we think is how we're going to act and live our dysfunction. Our mind is everything. What we think is how we're going to act and live our lives. If we're going to sit there and let our obsessive negative thoughts control us, that's how we're going to live our life. How are we going to speak to ourselves? And so that's something I really had to work through this past year is the way I'm speaking to myself because it really was ruining the way I was living. And the minute I said, no, I'm not this way. No, I'm not ruled by my anxiety and my fear
Starting point is 00:53:59 and my breakup and my depression. No, I'm not. Then I started acting different. Then I started acting different. Then I started living different. Then I started walking with my head held higher. I also loved what you said about calling people, about bringing it to Jesus, then calling people and confessing it. You will not be stuck if you have an accountability partner. So true. It's so true.
Starting point is 00:54:25 Everything that you're saying is the renewal of the mind. Yeah. Please, if you haven't watched our renewal of the mind episode, that's what I encourage you guys to do. Everything, what I love what Ari said about the dysfunction, and it is true that we accept behavior that is familiar to us. We accept behavior that is comfortable. This is all I know.
Starting point is 00:54:46 This is how it's always been. This is how I've always been. But I want to encourage you guys that just how we said earlier that addiction and sin and like habitual sin can rewire your brain chemistry, that it can change your brain chemistry, you know what can change your brain chemistry even more? Jesus.
Starting point is 00:55:04 Because he changed mine, he changed Ari's. I watched firsthand what Jesus did in Ari's mind. The way that he changed her thoughts, the way that he gave her the ability to turn things back, to take them captive, to re-change the neural pathways to begin with. That you are one way for a long time, and then Jesus gives you the ability to not think like that anymore but it all starts in the renewal of the mind and where does that start? Reading God's Word, reading it, devoting time, time, time, educating yourself on the living and active Word of God. It's living, that's why it has the ability to transform your mind because it's alive and it does something when you read it.
Starting point is 00:55:43 the ability to transform your mind because it's alive and it does something when you read it. You guys, doesn't it feel like there's more misleading information than ever these days about hormones? Hormones are a big buzzword right now but do you even know what your hormones are or how they impact your health? I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you guys. Menstrual cramping, mood swings, bloating, and hormonal acne can truly ruin your week once a month. And thank you God, this next sponsor has made a huge difference in my life. This podcast episode is sponsored by Mixers.
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Starting point is 00:57:29 off your order. Mixers rarely gives discounts, so 10% is the best offer you'll find. Remember to use my promo code ggb for an additional 10% off. Thank you guys. Can I, I love that you say that because let me tell you, there is no way that you cannot get better and that God cannot bring you out of whatever you're in, whatever addiction, sinful nature you're in. If you are getting up, if you are surrendering it every single day, even if you did it the
Starting point is 00:57:58 day before, if you get up and you surrender it every day, you're saturated in prayer, you're devoted to the Word of God. You're speaking the Word of God over you every time you're in these times of trouble. There is no shot that God is not going to bring you through and out of it. Like scripture says, you do not stay there. He walks through it with you. Do not be troubled if you are in a place of despair and sin and you feel like you can't get out. You are going to go through a time where it is not going to leave
Starting point is 00:58:33 overnight. It might be a week, a month, it might be six months, it might be a year, but let me tell you with Jesus, He walks through it with you. And honestly, I'm glad He didn't deliver me out of it right away. I'm glad He didn't take the pain and the sin. I'm glad that He didn't take all of the stuff that I was going through away. Because if He did, I would not be who I am right now. I would not be so dependent on Him. I would not have the hunger to get out of bed so early and be down on my knees and learn about him and his word and what he says.
Starting point is 00:59:08 So you know what? If you are still in this moment of pain and heartbreak or whatever you're going through, addiction, take it as a blessing. I love what you just said about why he didn't take us out right away. One, yes, it developed us and that pain that we went through was crucial to our self-development and our character development. However, God also wants us to understand that there are consequences to our actions. If I was acting crazy in sin, being nuts, doing everything wrong that I'm I was acting crazy in sin, being nuts,
Starting point is 00:59:47 doing everything wrong that I'm not supposed to, and God just swooped in one day, and there was no fallout and no consequences. I might get a little air yet with it. I might be a little like, he loves me. It's true. I can do it again, you know what I mean? My fallout from my drinking, like yes, Jesus, super, I don't care what anybody says, super,
Starting point is 01:00:08 I feel like recently every time I tell people Jesus delivered me, everyone's like, honey, you quit. I'm like, honey, no I didn't, no I didn't. Jesus supernaturally delivered me, and he is so gracious that he let me feel every bit of it to remember. That's right.
Starting point is 01:00:31 Don't forget what you had to go through because of the way that you were acting and the things you were partaking in. My fallout after drinking, I wasn't normal, truly. I was not normal for a year afterwards. I was in survival mode, autopilot, disassociated, just getting through the day. I didn't remember my days.
Starting point is 01:00:53 The first six months, I don't remember. I would wake up in the morning and then find myself in bed at night. Whatever happened during the day, I don't know, I was going to work, I was doing this, I was doing that, I was doing auditions, I was doing everything and I didn't remember a single thing of it. These were the consequences to my actions.
Starting point is 01:01:11 Yeah. You know? Yeah, no. Yeah. Can I tell you something? Please. Anytime that I'm scared or I, like for instance, before I go on stage, I have a moment where I am like, oh, I don't know how I'm going to get through
Starting point is 01:01:25 this. I have moments of nervousness, especially when we first started. Every time, I kid you not, I bow my head down, I close my eyes, and you know what picture God gives me? Every single dark time, the moment in the shower where I almost didn't make it, all those times where I almost didn't make it, all those times where I almost didn't make it through. And the next picture he gives me is him right there, just with his arms and how he saved
Starting point is 01:01:54 me and he got me out of it. And I am, and then I, and I swear, it was, I'll never forget it, the first time before we went on stage, I bowed my head down, I got all those pictures, and I just opened my eyes with the biggest smile and that light in my eyes, and I looked up and I said, thank you Jesus. I would never take back one of those moments that I went through, those dark moments, everything that I went through, because he, he, it's, it's, it's just a testimony, it's, it's, he showed his true power of what he does.
Starting point is 01:02:28 And honestly, it kept me so hungry for him. Yeah, of course. So good. Ah, Jesus, I want to speak to something that I think is just heavy on my heart. And a lot of us women go through it, and I'm sure some men go through it as well, but do you guys mind if we talk about the toxic thing that we do with the phones and with the stalking and with the looking and all of that?
Starting point is 01:02:56 I know I've done it in the past. I know that I've gone through, I know that I've gone through a breakup and been legitimately addicted to looking at my exes, whatever, stalking their life, seeing where they're at, what they're doing. Like it makes me sick to think about. Takes up your whole life.
Starting point is 01:03:16 And I know to some people, it might be like that is so weird, but I know to some people, you know exactly what we're talking about. Where you, from the second you wake up to the second you go to sleep, your fingers are there waiting, you're following what this person is doing and it is making you sick. Ari and I are here to ask you today to delete every burner account, to delete every fake profile, to pray your heart out that God would give you the self-control.
Starting point is 01:03:42 He gives us a spirit of not a fear, but of power, of love, and a sound mind, which means self-control. He gives us a spirit of not a fear but of power, of love, and a sound mind, which means self-control. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. It's something that's a gift given to us by God that we need if we want to do anything good in life. And yes, God will give you, deliver you, take care of you, do everything for you, but self-control is up to you. And I'm asking you to have the self-control to not look anymore, to not put yourself in positions that hurts you and makes you sick. Stop looking at the past that is an addiction in and of itself. And we see our friends and people that we know go through it all the time and it literally
Starting point is 01:04:20 makes you sick. And you know what else? I love that you say that because God is gonna meet you and he's gonna help you, but if you continue to self-destruct and look back and stalk and worry, and how is God going to bring you your person, number one? How are you going to be able to be fully submitted to God
Starting point is 01:04:41 when you are still looking back at what he so very carefully took away from you. And believe me, I know. Me too. I know. Don't tell him. Don't tell him. But, you know, I've had moments where I have felt so separated.
Starting point is 01:05:01 I'm still in chaos. I'm still, I'm not feeling good. Well, what are you doing? You have to really, and sometimes, you know what's crazy? We don't even realize that we're doing it. We're like, oh, we're in the day, do, do, do, oh. And we don't even realize how detrimental it is to our mind and soul and how much it's keeping us back
Starting point is 01:05:21 from the things that God has for us. But God isn't going to bring you what you need and what you desire until you lay it down. And I know it's so difficult. I know it is. It's very difficult. And I want you guys to give yourself some grace. You're going through heartbreak.
Starting point is 01:05:39 You're just, you don't understand. But in order to be truly set free, it starts with that. So thank you for saying that, because social media is truly, everything's right there. It's so easy to have access. It's so easy to see, and it's really difficult. It's so hard, it's so hard. You know, just addiction,
Starting point is 01:06:04 the thing about addiction is like all of us, that's why when people say like, I'm not an addict or I don't have addict problems, every addicts are just worshipers. They're just really good worshipers. Every single one of us are hardwired for worship. We all, Jesus, God made us in his image. He made us, believe it or not, he made every single human on the planet with the intention of having a relationship with them.
Starting point is 01:06:28 So we are made to worship. We're made to worship God, but through the fall, through sin entering Adam, we, everything got mixed up. So a lot of us don't worship Jesus because everything's skewed and perverted and wrong. And so worshipers, worshiping is being addicted to something.
Starting point is 01:06:48 It's how I'm wired. It's how my brain, it just works like that. I'm all in, I'm all or nothing. I love my friends and my family and the people, the people that I love, I love them in a way that's like sick. Like I love, I don't know how to be any different. I'm very intense because it's the way that I'm hardwired.
Starting point is 01:07:08 I have the ability to channel all of that into my relationship with Jesus. Every single one of us, if you're struggling with addiction, you have a worship issue. You're worshiping the wrong thing. And if you are turning to numbing, you guys, regardless of if it's drugs or alcohol or sex or porn or masturbation or gambling, shopping, food, anything, anything that you're turning to overindulging in or indulging in the first place, anything that you're using to numb
Starting point is 01:07:44 and mask, we're giving you're using to numb and mask, we're giving you permission today to give yourself permission to let yourself be set free, to make the decision from this point forward to first be aware and be proactive, and be proactive in knowing when I get sad, I know for me, when I get sad, when I'm in a bad spot or something bad happens to me,
Starting point is 01:08:06 I know that I am, I'm, I'm, it's, it's all up for grabs at that point. I can go to something. I must be proactive in going to Jesus because God knows where I'm going to go if I don't. So I'm inviting you guys, when you want to go to numb in whatever way, you want to pick up this thing or that thing, or even picking up this phone or the video game or the TV show, choose Jesus instead. Just try. Begin, and you get stronger as you go, and you might not be successful every time, but make a pact with yourself in saying, when I'm in pain, when my initial reaction is to go numb with something, let me turn to scripture, let me turn to worship,
Starting point is 01:08:46 let me fall down to my knees no matter where I am and cry out to the living God who hears my prayers, who's sitting there waiting for me to reach out to him. Choose to do that. You initiate, draw near and he will draw near to you. I love that. And can I just say something? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:03 Because thank you for saying that. And can I just say something? Because thank you for saying that. I know that feeling when you are in such a, your mind is spinning and you can't function and you just want an escape from the pain that you're in. I know that feeling oh so well. And I'm telling you, this is someone who like literally I couldn't deal with it. Like I, you just want to take a hit of that, whatever it is, the pill, the whatever, whatever numbs your pain. I can't believe sometimes that I have found a cure that is not in substances. Yeah. That I have a
Starting point is 01:09:49 father who literally I can not go to my knees cry out for help and all of a sudden he fills me with that peace that surpasses all understanding. That he can literally take the pain away that you want to escape from, that you think it's in a substance. You don't need it. Do you, you guys are, I never, I'm telling you this because I lived it, because I used to think that the pill was gonna just ease my pain, that I needed that
Starting point is 01:10:19 because it was in my genetics that nothing was gonna take it away, only that, only that pill that was gonna take it away. No, Jesus does that. The power of Jesus Christ of Nazareth does that, you guys. I'm telling you. I was someone who literally, like, I crawled out of my skin daily. It was awful the way I lived my life.
Starting point is 01:10:45 And now all I need is the power of Jesus Christ. I cry to him for help. He's there like that. Yeah. Oh, so good. And I love what you just said because it's so important because there's this thing that happens. And I think we all know when you are about to enter
Starting point is 01:11:03 into a weird situation where you're gonna do something, fall into some sort of addiction, there's this moment that is so demonic of like total blackout where you lose control over whatever you're doing and that's why when you blame addicts for things or whoever, you blame someone who's doing something that's like, oh my God, she's so weak, he's so, he's just like, what are you doing? It's like there's this moment, she's so weak, he's so, he's just like, what are you doing? It's like, there's this moment, you know what I'm talking about,
Starting point is 01:11:27 when whatever it might be, whatever your thing is that you're not supposed to do, right before, it's like you fight for a second, you fight and then all of a sudden it's like blackout and you lose motor function. And it's like, you're just, it's so demonic this time where you're on autopilot, you don't even realize what you're doing anymore. It's the enemy because when you're just, it's so demonic this time where you're on autopilot, you don't even realize what you're doing anymore.
Starting point is 01:11:46 It's the enemy because when you're in such a vulnerable place like that, he's septic to get in. He's done it to me since I was a little girl. Thank you God, I didn't run to substances. Thank you God. And if you are someone that is running to substances, run to Jesus, you don't understand. That is the only answer and he will deliver you from it.
Starting point is 01:12:06 He will deliver you from it. You don't understand the life that you have waiting for you on the other side of this addiction. He has something so beautiful for you. And even if you think like just, you know what, once in a while I'm just gonna hit the weed pan or whatever it is, it does nothing for you, you guys. Can we talk about that really quick?
Starting point is 01:12:32 Anyone who thinks that the, listen, you guys, I love you so much. I love you so much. And I love you so much that I want you to be so unbelievably mature in your faith. That is like, personally, on a personal level, that's my number one goal with you guys is to get you mature in your faith to get you so strong in it that like you know you know you know what you know and you know that you know and you don't go back on it can we be honest about weed and psychedelics and these things that even amongst Christians is a conversation and a debate
Starting point is 01:13:06 where they're like, but is weed isn't a sin. It's not that bad. Weed. Really? Yeah, of course. Who says that? I'll tell you later. Oh, tell me that. So many people, so, so many people. And it's just like, weed, like Ari said, will do nothing for you, give it up.
Starting point is 01:13:28 It is, live a life, live a noble, good life. We're here today to let you know that it's lame. It's lame, it's bad, it's detrimental. There's nothing good about it. It's never gonna do anything good for your life. And with the numbing, there's been something that's really been on my mind recently,
Starting point is 01:13:48 and I wanna be so careful with it because there are some situations where medication for anxiety or depression, especially for more severe mental health disorders is very good and it's very important, absolutely. Yeah. However, and I know situations where there are people who are 19 years old, experiencing anxiety
Starting point is 01:14:15 for the first time in their life, and the first thing that they do is go and get on a medication. And I am so passionate while treading carefully because I know that everything is nuanced and it's not a one size fits all. But I know personally, when I developed anxiety, yes, Jesus healed me, yes, he delivered me,
Starting point is 01:14:34 I also learned how to deal with it through time and it didn't happen overnight. I started having panic attacks when I was 19. I'm not 100% free of panic attacks. In fact, I have them more times than you guys would probably imagine. But I've learned to deal with them. It's been however many years that I've been dealing with this issue. And you start to understand, okay, it's coming. Now I have tools. What am I going to do? I also am not afraid of
Starting point is 01:15:02 it anymore because I used to think it was going gonna kill me, but now I know it's not going to, so it doesn't get any worse. So when you immediately go to the medication or the weed, because when people argue like weed, it helps my anxiety. You need to help your anxiety. Jesus needs to help your anxiety. You need to understand how to work through it,
Starting point is 01:15:22 get to the root of it, and we have to stop masking things. I know why you wanna mask. I know why you wanna numb, and I know what it feels like, and I know that nobody else understands, and it feels like you're the only one in the world who could possibly feel what you're feeling, but the truth is, you're not.
Starting point is 01:15:40 You're not alone. So many people feel that way, and it's up to you today to be strong enough to understand the power and the strength that you have in your body because of Jesus, to withstand these things, to work through them, to get through them, and to not turn to things. We have so much faith in you, more than you could possibly imagine. I know that you will be able to be delivered from whatever your addiction is. I believe that you, through the power granted to you by the Lord Jesus Christ, that you will put it down today.
Starting point is 01:16:14 And I know that you will become, you will be in agreement with Jesus as opposed to this thing. So congratulations in advance for what you're about to accomplish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that you're about to accomplish. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love that you touched on the medication.
Starting point is 01:16:28 It's something that I really, I don't know. I think medication can be, like you said, great, but it doesn't take away the problem. And that's why there's more medications in the world than ever, right? But there's more mental health issues than ever. And why is that? Because the minute we have a problem, or we experience depression or anxiety, and we go to a doctor, they say, here, take this, you have OCD, oh, here, take Adderall, oh, here. And it's making us worse. It's actually making us worse.
Starting point is 01:17:04 We have to deal with these problems. Yeah. And honestly, I'm going to say it again, therapy, you guys. So good. Therapy is amazing. Therapy is going to help you go back to when you're a kid to unravel the things that you don't even know what's going on right here. So try these things and these practices
Starting point is 01:17:29 before we go to the medication. So good. Please. Matthew 9.35 says, and Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and preaching the gospel of the kingdom and healing every sickness and disease among the people. Addiction is a disease. Addiction is a sickness and Jesus has the ability to heal you and deliver you.
Starting point is 01:17:56 For that to happen, you have to invite Jesus into your life. You have to accept him. You guys have no idea. I don't know if you've ever watched us before or listened to us, but I want you to know our background is not in the church. Our background is very much in the world in doing everything that everybody else is doing. Jesus was not a staple in our lives that brought this sort of healing and transformation because we weren't aware. We didn't know that everything the Bible says is real and that it's the truth. But we've come to know and we live to testify to the truth that Jesus is real.
Starting point is 01:18:33 He has changed our lives. He's healed our minds. He's delivered us and He continues to deliver us. And by the way, He's so good that then He blesses us and he gives us favor and he loves us and he comforts us. And he is just the greatest, most beautiful, magnificent thing in the world. And he's alive and he's real and he's been searching, chasing you your whole life.
Starting point is 01:18:58 He has been wanting you. And this moment, it is no coincidence that we're sitting here right now because he wants you right now. And whatever you're going through, your freedom is on the other side of this prayer. And so we want to ask you guys to invite Jesus into your heart, to invite Him as Lord of your life. And it is the greatest life that you will live. Not perfect.
Starting point is 01:19:23 You'll know that if you watch us more, it gets hard. Life is hard. I'm just not, I'm not magically rid of everything in my past. There's things that we deal with, there's things that we battle, but there's power that is in the name of Jesus. And there's grace, which means unmerited favor. It's protection when you don't deserve it and that comes from Jesus and having the Holy Spirit in your life who is the Spirit of truth, the Spirit of comfort, He will come. The Holy Spirit can dwell within your heart and all around you at all times. It's protection, it's love, it's the greatest
Starting point is 01:19:59 gift of all time and that's our salvation. So we invite you guys today to pray with us and receive salvation and get free from the things that are holding you down. Enough is enough truly. Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I'm a sinner and I ask for your forgiveness. I believe you died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite you to come into my heart and life. I want to trust you and follow you as my Lord and Savior. Baptize me in your Holy Spirit. In Jesus' name. Amen. If you just said that prayer for the first time, welcome to the family.
Starting point is 01:20:45 You're so loved. We love you so much. We love you guys so much. I just wanted to say one last thing before we end this episode. We battle addictions, but then we can be on the other side of it where we have a family member or a loved one that is an addict and we suffer actually just as much as the addict. Sometimes we're even a sicker because we have to deal with it without substances.
Starting point is 01:21:13 So I just want to just touch on that. I was someone who dealt with an addict. And for many years, I blamed myself. I suffered. I was so sick. I was like trying to fix them and there's things that's the three C's. It's you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it. And so I just I want you guys to understand that we live in this guilt of, is it my fault? Is there something I can do? How can I change them? How can I fix them?
Starting point is 01:21:52 And the truth is, is we can't change it. We can't change them. It's not our fault. And we can't cure it. The person that you might be dealing with, whoever it is, they have to be willing to do it themselves. And I know so many of us are in these situations, are like, well, there must be something I can do,
Starting point is 01:22:14 or maybe it's my fault that has nothing to do with you. Like Angela said, it's a disease, and you didn't cause it. And so I know some of you are probably in this position in a marriage, a family member, I don't know what it is, but maybe one of your, a child that you have is dealing with this. It's not your fault. Al-Anon is honestly a great community that you can go to.
Starting point is 01:22:41 There's people that go through just what you're going through and it's also a very spiritual thing. And so I would encourage you to get involved with a group that you can go to, that people understand. Because it's very confusing when you have someone you love so much that is battling this and you think that you caused it or why can't I cure it? So I just want to let you guys know that it's not your fault. Thank you so much for saying that, God. That just freed so many people because let's just speak to the parents who have children who are suffering with addictions or deep, deep in sin. It is the scariest thing. I know how painful it is. I think there's nothing worse than having somebody
Starting point is 01:23:26 you love in pain. I know that you would rather have that illness or that disease or that addiction in your own body instead of your child's or the person that you love because you love them so much. But please understand coming from someone who also suffers with Savior Complex where you think that you control everything around you
Starting point is 01:23:44 and you have the ability to save the people around you, and it absolutely wrecks your life and destroys your peace and your joy. Remember that Jesus loves your loved one even more than you do. And all you can do is pray, and don't ever stop praying, and pray in faith, and pray expectantly. But understand that regardless of the outcome,
Starting point is 01:24:05 regardless of what happened, they belong to Jesus. And Jesus is in control. Yeah, yeah, prayer, that's all you can do. And we forget how powerful prayers are. Prayer is everything, just don't stop praying. Pray for yourself if you're in addiction, pray for your loved one. And as long as you're praying, that's all that matters.
Starting point is 01:24:28 That's all that matters. All you can do. And no prayer goes unheard. Never comes back for you. Never does. Never. We love you guys so much. So much.
Starting point is 01:24:38 Thank you for everything. Thank you for being here with us. Thank you for being who you guys are. We believe in your freedom. We believe in your freedom. We believe in your strength. I know, I'm not worried about you guys at all. I'm really not. God loves you so much.
Starting point is 01:24:55 He loves you through your sin. He loves you through your addiction. He loves you through it all, through all your messiness. He loves you and he's right there waiting for you. He loves you, he hates your sin. Yeah, I was just gonna say that. He hates your addiction. He loves you, he hates everything that hurts you.
Starting point is 01:25:16 That's why he's gonna deliver you from it. I'm excited for you guys. I really am, I'm excited for you guys. I feel the breakage that is about to happen in your lives. So much break for you guys. I really am. I'm excited for you guys. Let's go. I feel, I feel the breakage that is about to happen. So much great for you. In your lives. And please keep us updated in the comments. Because they literally make our lives.
Starting point is 01:25:35 Seeing these comments being like, oh my God, I'm freed. I'm, you have no idea after this episode I went. And it's, it truly makes our lives better. So. We love you guys more than anything. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May He turn His face towards you and give you peace and so much freedom. In Jesus name. We love you. We love you.

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