Girls Gone Bible - Madi & Grant Troutt | Girls Gone Bible

Episode Date: August 30, 2024

Hiiii GGB :) On this weeks episode we sit down with Grant Troutt and Madi Prewett Troutt, diving into our personal relationships with Jesus and what it looks like to have a Christ centered marriage. ...Grant goes in depth about his struggles with panic attacks and addictions. We love you so much. Jesus loves you more. -Ang & Ari WE ARE ON THE OFFICIAL GIRLS GONE BIBLE LIVE TOUR! www.girlsgonebible.com/tour for the first batch of cities we have locked in :) WE LOVE YOU AND CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU! if you’d like to support Girls Gone Bible 🙏🏻🕊️🤍 Paypal- https://www.paypal.me/girlsgonebibleinfo (https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbFljdXFwdzE5djFGVFJ5SEtpNHRsZlVaUW9tQXxBQ3Jtc0tsNUV6QjVXcXppUXlFbTFRNXdUNzlaY2E3QmlEZFNMVlYzRFVTOF84c3hERW5yMEtkMXQ2bUZUMGVpUDRFTWEyNlh0SzhNbUc5MUk0RVBXaWtYTHltQjVUMzc0a0hORDN4bC1hNDJQQkdSVUJ6Ylgzcw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.paypal.me%2Fgirlsgonebibleinfo&v=FvQ1NYv11YQ) Venmo-  https://www.venmo.com/u/girlsgonebible (https://www.venmo.com/u/girlsgonebible)

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi guys, I'm sorry. You gotta talk from the mic, mom. Oh yeah, I forgot. I just love you so much. I wanna get close to you. I'm all about it. She said, wait. Hey guys, I'm Ange.
Starting point is 00:00:15 Alright, listen, so. What? Hey guys, I'm Ange. And I'm Ari. And this is Girls Gone Bible. Oh, I thought you were doing it today. No, go ahead. Okay, let's do it over.
Starting point is 00:00:26 Okay. Sorry, guys. We're keeping all that in by the way. We do this every time. Love it, I love it. Every time, a year later. The bloopers are the best part. A year later. I love your bloopers.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Hi guys, I'm Ange. And I'm, I'm sorry. One more time. That's okay. Hi guys, I'm Ange. And I'm Ari. And this is Girls Gone Bible. We are a faith-based podcast where we talk all things, spirituality, mental health, Jesus, the Bible,
Starting point is 00:00:47 and everything to do with life. Today, thank you, Jesus, hallelujah. We have our friends, Maddie Pruitt Trout and Grant Trout in the studio. Let's go. In the studio. So happy. It's good to be here.
Starting point is 00:01:02 We love you guys so much. The journey to get here, y'all. Be honest. Oh man, coming in hot. What love you guys so much. The journey to get here, y'all. Be honest. Oh, man. Be honest. Coming in hot. What did you guys just go through trying to get here? Our marriage was tested for a second. It was.
Starting point is 00:01:11 We had a few moments where I was like, will you forgive me? We had to ask for forgiveness multiple times. This is so crappy. To each other? To each other. Oh, yeah. We do need to. And then we repented to the Lord.
Starting point is 00:01:20 The marriage. That's how it is. Yeah. Like, Lord, bless this podcast, please. Which just means it's going to be amazing. It's going to be good. It's going to be a good podcast. Oh, Lord, bless this podcast, please. Which just means it's gonna be amazing. It's gonna be good. It's gonna be a good podcast. Oh my gosh, that's so good.
Starting point is 00:01:29 I'm so happy you guys are here. I'm happier in California. We love you. It's good to be here so much. We love you guys, but I don't know how you live here. But to God be the glory. To God, praise the Lord. How do you guys feel being here, by the way?
Starting point is 00:01:41 Do you feel energetically? Just kind of tired. Okay, tell them about all the signs we passed by, because it was crazy. I know Dallas is dark too. Dallas is dark? It is. Not really, not compared to LA.
Starting point is 00:01:56 The three big signs I saw on the way here, movies. One movie said, it was the movie title, and then underneath it, it said, "'Embrace the Darkness, Fear the Light.'" And I'm just like, dude, how twisted are we? And then the next one I saw was, "'Stay Quiet, Stay Alive.'" And I'm just like, that's what they're trying to push
Starting point is 00:02:14 on us right now. And then what was the last one? It was like, the serpent queen. It was like, the bad is good, or what did it say? It feels so good to be bad. It feels good to be bad. And just like, the air here. You don't realize how much even a sign affects you.
Starting point is 00:02:26 The little subliminal messages. Embrace the darkness, fear the light. That's crazy. Not in the name of Jesus, no. Amen. We're like revoking signs left and right. God, Lee. You know what's so sad?
Starting point is 00:02:38 I think we're just so used to it that I probably would have seen that sign in bit. We're so used to how dark it is here. But do you feel it energetically, like in the spirit when you come here that there's just a heaviness? I do. You know I almost lived here.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Yeah. I like almost moved here to live with Janine. And then I came here for a week and I was like, something's off. Do you feel the same way in Newport though? No, I love Newport. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:03 No, we're staying in Newport. And so it was like over an hour drive, but I love Newport. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, we're staying in Newport And so it was like over an hour drive, but I love Newport Newport and Well, Santa Barbara That's the Santa Barbara, LA is something else But be a light we're called to be a light So let's go thank you guys so much Yeah, we wanted it. Yeah, we want to do more like, we wanna do events here. Like we wanna bring people together in this city.
Starting point is 00:03:28 We just don't really know how to go about it yet, but we plan on doing it, because it's so important. They need it, they need it. There's so many opportunities to serve here too. Like to serve the community. Oh, absolutely. So, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:40 And you guys are doing that. But we're just happy to be with y'all. We would drive hours and go through traffic. We're fresh out of the car right here. I was a few of y'all. About two minutes ago. I know, we actually just ran up the stairs to do this. And we are here. So let's talk about, so if you guys don't know,
Starting point is 00:03:56 Maddie's already been on the podcast. You came on with Janine and we heard so much about your story and you have been faithful to Jesus your whole life and I admire you more than you, and I admire you more than you know, I respect you more than you know. You are a warrior for Jesus, and you've done it, and you do it. I know.
Starting point is 00:04:13 You've made such an impact on our lives. Massive. Well, don't make me cry, we're two seconds in. We recorded that podcast and barely knew each other. Barely. And now I'm like, I feel like I've known you guys my whole life. You are one of my closest friends.
Starting point is 00:04:25 You are truly one of my people who, when I need godly counsel, I call Maddie. And there have been multiple times where I call you, and it's not even like you say something that changes my circumstance, but even our conversation somehow changes something in the spirit, and I'm like able to move in a way that I wasn't able to prior.
Starting point is 00:04:44 You are so special. We really love you. We love you guys so much. She prays for us in secret. She writes down on her prayer cards for us and our family. And it's just, you're a very special person. So lucky to have you. I love you all.
Starting point is 00:04:59 We love you so much. So blessed. And we have Grant today. Grant Trout. We are, as soon as we met you at If Gathering, I was like, I love this guy. You're so cool. I felt the same way.
Starting point is 00:05:09 I felt the same way. He says it all the time. He's like, they're the coolest. I was like, they're amazing. You're the best. Truly, truly. No, cause it's hard, it's hard in the space sometimes because especially you're like, you were the youth pastor.
Starting point is 00:05:20 I don't know if you still are at, what is the church? Paris Creek. Yeah. Yeah, at Jonathan Pocluta's church. Yeah. And so when you're in that position, I feel like you can kind of be in a position where you have to act a certain way or be a certain way
Starting point is 00:05:31 and you're so authentic and you're so chill, laid back and just cool, like genuine. I hate that we have to say that in the Christian community, but you're just like the cool Christian. You're cool, you're chill. I love that. I love that. There's no performance with you guys.
Starting point is 00:05:44 It's just like, you don't have to force anointing. You don't have to force authority. You just have it. And you guys have that. You don't have to put anything on. And we really, we appreciate that. Yeah, thank y'all. And we stand so with y'all and by y'all.
Starting point is 00:05:58 And just tell Maddie on the way, I was just like, you don't meet real, genuine, authentic people all the time, and that's what we sense with y'all. Just so authentic. So we appreciate y'all. And he's like, you need to continue to just like pray for you guys because of how God's using y'all.
Starting point is 00:06:14 And knowing that there's gonna be like darkness and attacks and so often we're like, let's pray for them. So y'all just- You guys are so constantly thinking about y'all and praying for y'all. Oh my gosh, you're so sweet. Thank you guys. So I wanna get a little bit into Grant's story.
Starting point is 00:06:30 Because you, I think we're very similar in our past and with Ari, where we weren't always following God the way that he intended for us to. And so you've had to go through a lot and it's taken you a lot to get to where you are in your faith. So if you could just start with through a lot and it's taken you a lot to get to where you are in your faith. So if you could just start with that a little bit. Totally.
Starting point is 00:06:48 It's been a journey to get to this table right here. I don't know if y'all felt this, but young age sensed a sensitivity with the Lord. And it was like, am I speaking in the mic? I always do that. People do this where he gets so far. Every time I'm on State Truth, I'm like, babe, talk to the mic.
Starting point is 00:07:04 I'm like, pull the mic down here. I always do that. Every time I'm on stage room, I'm like, babe, talk to the mic. Man, I just like, since the Lord was with me at a young age, but I never was like, God, I need you. And so, parents were Christians. They became new believers when I was probably two years old. And so, I was being raised in kind of this new believer home and sports quickly became identity. And so basketball was like who I was. And I traveled the country and I loved it. And then really at like a seventh grade age, I don't know if y'all can see this, but I got a really bad injury playing football.
Starting point is 00:07:38 And that was a moment where I broke this arm. I got a surgery. I was out for eight months. Eighth grade, had a surgery on my surgery, I was out for eight months. Eighth grade, had a surgery on my shoulder, I was out for eight months. Ninth grade surgery, this shoulder, out for eight months. Tenth grade surgery on this hip, out for eight months. Body's been through it.
Starting point is 00:07:54 Body's been through it. Shout out, man, I just. You've been through enough, you don't need to. Guys, and during that time, my identity was being shaken, and I was like, who am I? Like, who am I? I thought sports was who I was, and so I started smoking weed in eighth grade, started drinking in ninth grade, and just was trying to find life. And it was fun, honestly.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Like, it was fun, and I'm not going to look back and say, I didn't think I was numbing anything at the time, but now that I see that I was. But really, I was like, if I can play sports and I can be the anything at the time, but now that I see that I was. But really I was like, if I can play sports and I can be the guy at the party, that's what life is. All the while, every Sunday, in church, hearing the gospel, but I never heard it. I just heard it, but I never was like, God, I need you. And so finally I kind of make it through high school years and I go play college at UC Santa
Starting point is 00:08:43 Barbara, so just up north. And I'm there in Santa Barbara and it was everything I ever wanted. And I remember sitting in my dorm on the beach and it was like, I felt like I was trying to grip at the ocean. And I was like, why am I trying so hard to find peace and happiness? And this is what I wanted and it's not here. And I was at a party one time drinking and I was drunk and all of a sudden, I felt this rush of sobriety hit me. And I felt this voice say, Grant, go home. And I walked home to my dorm room, and I just called my mom.
Starting point is 00:09:15 And I said, Mom, I know who you raised me to be. I don't know who I am anymore. And she said, Grant, I packed you a Bible in your backpack, and it was this basketball leather bound Bible.-bound Bible. Basketball Bible. And I grab it and I was like, God, if you're real, I really need you. And that next day, I'm walking to the cafeteria, headphones in, I'm praying, God, if you're real, show me. And Chinese man walks up to me mid-prayer.
Starting point is 00:09:40 And I go, what's up, man? And he goes, hey, this is so weird. I'm a pastor at a local church. I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to join a Bible study. And I was like, yes. I was like, yes. And anyways, that was the beginning of a journey. I ended up losing the sport. So that hip I had surgery in high school, I got a career ending hip injury freshman year. So they said you can never play basketball again. So full identity ripped.
Starting point is 00:10:08 As I'm meeting with this man, I just start to spiral cocaine, Xanax, drugs, go to jail for a night. And the Lord allowed me to get to a place where I was like, I have nothing. And that is where I just heard the whisper of, I'm with you, and I love you, and I have a plan for you. And now through the last six years, I have seen transformation. And there's a verse in John 9.25 that I love. It's the blind man that was healed, and the Pharisees were around him, and they're like, who was it who healed you?
Starting point is 00:10:38 And finally, he was like, I don't know. But one thing I do know, I was once blind, and now I see. And I don't know, but one thing I do know, I was once blind and now I see. And I don't know the full Bible the best way I can. I don't know how to defend everything, but here's what I know. I was once blind and now I see. And Jesus Christ is real. And it's not religion. It's not like a show.
Starting point is 00:11:02 It's either real or it's not. And that's what I love about you guys and my Matty is like you've either encountered him or you haven't. And if you have, there's no going back. Why are we crying right now? I mean, we are, guys, I am in tears over here. We are all in tears. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:11:19 Because I don't, I just like, I'm so grateful and thankful. And I don't know why he saved us, but he did, and we're not perfect, but like we're committed to being perfected by him. And so here I am with the godliest girl I know. I don't know why, I never thought I would marry an amazing godly girl. And even to just speak on a platform about Jesus,
Starting point is 00:11:41 I'm just like, thank you. And so I know that's probably similar to some of y'all's testimony. And when you gave your life to Jesus, you thought it was like gonna create so much ease and peace and everything was gonna be perfect. Which we can get into later. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? Maybe you never skip leg day or therapy day. Even when we know what makes us happy, it's hard to make time for it. But when you feel like you have no time for yourself, non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever. You guys, many of you GGB family know my experience with BetterHelp. I'll never forget it. I was in such a dark time and I needed something. I needed someone to unpack the things that I couldn't go to my family and friends for. BetterHelp helped me in ways that I can't even tell you.
Starting point is 00:12:45 And my favorite thing about BetterHelp is it was so convenient. And not only that, they were able to match me with a therapist that was suited so perfect for me. I went online, I got matched up with a Christian therapist, and it healed me in ways that everybody needs when they're going through a hard time, or maybe not even you're going through a hard time. Maybe you just need to unpack things that you've been holding on to. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.
Starting point is 00:13:22 Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with the licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash girls gone bible today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash girls gone bible. But it led two years into my faith walk, panic attacks started, and I'm crippled, and I can't leave my house. And I'm sitting in my closet, gripping my Bible, and I was like, I thought following you was like this, and I'll never forget it, panic attacks every single day. And Jesus, I was in my closet and he was like,
Starting point is 00:14:05 am I still worth it? And I was like, yes, like yes, you are. And if I'm in this closet for the rest of the rest, you're still worth it. And he has walked with me through the valley of the shadow of death and has also allowed me to be dependent on him. Life does not get easier with Jesus,
Starting point is 00:14:23 but there's an anchor in that storm that I can go through anything with Him now. Yeah. That is so... Free! Free as we... That just... That just...
Starting point is 00:14:33 You have me so much in myself. Seriously, Ari and I have walked through so many of the same things, the panic attacks every day. That's my story. And I feel for you so much because I know I have a close friend of mine who had her first panic attack recently. And she literally looked at me and she said, you did this every day for three years. She's like... And she was bawling her eyes out being like, I feel so bad that you dealt with that. And people don't even... You don't know unless you've been through it. I mean, it's like a 24 hour a day panic, danger, something is wrong, I'm not okay.
Starting point is 00:15:07 What was your anxiety like? Like take us through because people feel, nobody knows how to put words to what that feels like. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, you, first one, I was on multiple different drugs and so I didn't know it was a panic attack and then I got sober and then I was like, okay, I guess whatever that was was caused by drugs.
Starting point is 00:15:26 And then I had a sober panic attack. And that was, and what I've explained to Maddie, she's seen me have one on a plane. It was so scary. And she saw my legs kind of shaking. And I couldn't really talk. But I was like, hey, can you just hold me right now? And we weren't even, we were about to get engaged.
Starting point is 00:15:41 We were just dating. I was like, OK, this was, because you know when you hear someone say they really struggle with anxiety, at least for me at that time, I had never seen a physical manifestation of someone struggling badly with anxiety or panic. And so I kind of was just like, hey, just renew your mind, you know?
Starting point is 00:15:59 Think better thoughts, like pray. And it's like, I saw in that moment, wow, this is actually out of your control. And it was like something that I was like, pray. And it's like, I saw in that moment, wow, this is actually out of your control. And it was like something that I was like, I can't fix it and it's hard to just witness it. But yeah, that was on a plane and that was a really scary moment. Really scary.
Starting point is 00:16:14 So I had one in a car and then I went to the emergency room. Did y'all ever go to the emergency room? Yeah, because you feel like you're having a heart attack. And I kind of got like belittled there. It was like, hey buddy, I think you're a little attack. And I kind of got belittled there. It was like, hey, buddy, I think you're a little anxious. And I was like, something's happening. And then it led to every day. And then they called it panic disorder, which is your whole day
Starting point is 00:16:34 is revolved around trying not to have one. So no planes, no car rides. Public speaking got crippled. Anytime you were like, Grant, pray in front of 10 people, it would start to happen. And what I would feel is my heart would beat so fast and then my brain is going, you're not in danger. You're not sprinting fight or flight. And I just felt this claustrophobic and I was just like, I felt trapped. That's how I felt. And what I would tell y'all is like, what I have learned through meditation and prayer
Starting point is 00:17:05 and renewing my mind in the morning, I will wake up in the morning and sit on the floor of our living room and I'll watch the sunrise every morning. And I'm not praying and I'm not reading the Bible. I'm breathing and I'm just like, stealing my mind to go, He is God, I am not. And it has renewed my mind, but it's been a journey. And it's why we're taking action steps and saw Dr. Amen. And it's just really cool. I'm like really empathetic to people now.
Starting point is 00:17:35 And I think the Lord answered a prayer that I said, Father, I wanna be more relatable to more people. And that's a dangerous prayer. He said, all right, I'll let you go. Cause he'll allow you to experience pain to do that. So, goosebumps. Isn't it? But don't you look back at everything you went through in your life and how many people you've had to help behind you from what you've been through. Isn't it incredible? You wouldn't take back one day, right?
Starting point is 00:17:58 I wouldn't change it. I know. I wouldn't. I truly wouldn't change it. I know. God, I'm so proud of you. That's incredible. Yeah. Thank you. I'm crazy to see you too. I've like't change it. I know. God, I'm so proud of you. That's incredible. Yeah, thank you. I'm being crazy to see you too. I've like seen the growth. Yeah, it's been a battle. It's a battle every day.
Starting point is 00:18:10 And I feel like I thought there was this world where like there will be no more anxiety, but now it's like, okay, hopefully, but Lord, how do I trust you in it today? And memorizing scripture, the way you fight fear and demonic activity. I think I went from being on my heels to on my toes. And I'm like, it's offensive time.
Starting point is 00:18:32 No longer will you mute me. Like Satan wants to mute us. And he's like, be quiet. Fear, fear, fear, fear. And it's like, no, wait. There's someone greater than you inside of me. I feel scared. But when I'm scared, like I'm putting
Starting point is 00:18:45 my trust in the Lord. What I love too is like you could have easily went back to the pills, you could have easily went back to the drugs and alcohol and you didn't and so many people need to hear that because they want to numb when the minute they get that feeling they want to go back to the pills and the drugs or the weed or whatever it is and you didn't, you just kept fighting through. So that is so important that we talk about that. Did you ever have times where you wanted to go back to that to numb yourself and you just, what do you do in that moment?
Starting point is 00:19:16 Yeah, I did. And there was some lonely nights, where you're like, Lord, is this worth it? And I just remember a decision I made, and it was in that closet. And I was just like, Lord, no matter what, like, you are worth it, and you are better. And when the Bible says, when you've tasted and seen that He is good, you have to say so. And that's where I'm at. I would say without community, it would have been really hard. And so being married now, there are mornings I wake up and I'm like, I can't, I can't
Starting point is 00:19:51 do it. And I will tell her, I will say, Maddie, who am I? And she will literally leave me sticky notes on my car as I walk out to work. And it will go, Grant Trout is called leader, redeemed, chosen. And when you have people that will speak that life over you, that's what keeps you going. Because there's times where you're like, I don't even have the strength to pray.
Starting point is 00:20:13 And then you have each other that will be like, just remind me. That's what she does. That's what she did for me. I swear. Yeah. It's so important. We are not meant to be alone through that healing process.
Starting point is 00:20:24 We can't. So true. Oh my goodness. Incredible. It's the weirdest thing because I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, panic disorder, OCD. And I always say these aren't labels that I identify with. I say OCD used to have a foothold in my life.
Starting point is 00:20:44 Now I keep it under my feet because of the blood of Jesus that set me free. But the truth is that when I am vulnerable, when I'm not feeling good, when I haven't slept enough, when I am possibly not in right standing with God, when I have any sort of sin in my life, we have these places that we resort back to. And that's mine.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Like this OCD obsessive, looking for a vice, looking for anything to numb, to suppress. But I do believe that Jesus delivered me. He healed me. However, I must do my part in staying delivered because I can easily go back. It is just a step away. It is just, I mean, you can't,
Starting point is 00:21:26 that's why we are so insane about our relationship with Jesus because we know what the darkness is like. I am so scared to go back there. It's not worth taking one step away from him. Like, in our mind, like, not, and Jenny Allen came on here and she said, she's like, not all mental health issues are from sin. A lot of them are from sin.
Starting point is 00:21:47 And a lot of them are the consequences of our actions, of our parents' actions, of their parents' actions. And so I remember when I stopped drinking, because I got sober when I was 23, I started heavily medicating with alcohol because I was so unwell. I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know the psychological reality
Starting point is 00:22:06 or the spiritual reality behind what I was experiencing. And so alcohol was the only thing that made me feel better. And I remember I would drink, I was so down bad with the alcohol. And I remember being like, but I don't wanna do this. I don't, I don't. And I don't know why I keep doing what I don't wanna do this. I don't, I don't, and I don't know why I keep doing what I don't wanna do, but I just wanna feel better.
Starting point is 00:22:29 And so Jesus delivered me from alcohol, He delivered me from the anxiety and healed me of everything, renewing of the mind, reading the Bible, so much prayer, so much intimate time with God. But again, I can get back there. I can go back there. I can go back there. 100%.
Starting point is 00:22:45 100%. Oh, totally. It's the daily decisions. And I think as like his wife, I even can speak to that too, of just, I see him, like he said, get up every single morning, early in the morning. He doesn't hit snooze like I am. He's getting up early. He's getting on his knees and he's just sitting with the Lord. He's abiding with the Lord. Before he even speaks, before he even opens up the word, he's just enjoying God's presence. And I've seen that literally transform and renew his mind.
Starting point is 00:23:16 I've seen that create an authority and a confidence, like he was talking about, where he's not on his heels and he's saying, okay, don't be afraid, don't be afraid. It's like, no, actually, I'm not gonna be afraid because he is with me. And I know who I am because of who he is. And he's taking the stance of authority, but it is this daily decision. And I think that's what's so important.
Starting point is 00:23:36 You were alluding to this, but it's like, we were once children of the darkness, but now we're children of the light. We've been set free, but every single day, we have to crucify our desires. We have to crucify our old passions that used to enslave us, but now get to be our testimony, but we could go back. We could easily go back, but it takes the daily every single day, and I think people could look at Grant now
Starting point is 00:24:02 and be like, wow, you have so much joy and charisma and authority, and you know the word of God. Like, I just wish I could be there. And I'm like, he used to be sitting in the closet every single day scared to get out of his house. But it took the surrounding himself with godly community, depending on the Lord, memorizing and meditating on scripture
Starting point is 00:24:21 and doing it every single day. Like, he doesn't let a day go by without it. And it's even an inspiration to me where I'm like, there's some days where I'm like, oh, I'm fine, God, we're good, right? Like we're good. But it's like, I see even, and that's why it's so important even to marry a man that I pray for, for both of you,
Starting point is 00:24:37 that just leads spiritually so well because it calls you higher. And I'm like, okay, I need to get on my knees. I need to meditate on scripture. I need to enjoy the presence of the Lord. But I do love that you spoke to that because it's an everyday decision and everybody has the opportunity to make that decision.
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Starting point is 00:27:03 We're we're ne one thing that we've been talking about is like we're never in neutral. So like if we just wake up, we're never just like, we're always being pulled back to sin. And so if you're not proactive, if you're not zealous for good works, like you're never just waking up going,
Starting point is 00:27:20 if I don't do anything good or bad today, I'm just kind of staying. It's like you're always being deceived. And so if you're not constantly renewing the mind and zealous, and so 2nd Timothy 2 22, it says, flee youthful passions. That's what we want to do. Flee the old life that we used to live, but pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace. So I think we can do a good job at fleeing.
Starting point is 00:27:40 And it's like, don't, don't, don't. But if you're not replacing that with pursue, then I'm looking for good works, I'm looking to get closer, then that fleeing at some point just turns into like being moral or being like religious. But if you're not pursuing that relationship and abiding, and then what you were talking about, Jesus in John 5 looked at somebody and He said, do you want to be healed? Meaning there's a response and responsibility on your part. And the guy's like, he's like, well then stand up. And so it's the power of Jesus, but it's his response. And people need to take ownership and responsibility
Starting point is 00:28:16 for their healing. It's both. So good. Like truly. Oh he can preach. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah, let's all take our mics. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:28:26 It's just real. Yeah. That was so good. And he lives it out and he believes it. And it is true. It's the faith plus action. It's like, we have a response and a responsibility. It's like when the Lord delivers us, it's like, well, we,
Starting point is 00:28:39 okay, there was that moment, but then it's where you go from there that matters. It's like, that's what creates the constantly moving forward, the deepening of the faith, the deepening of the relationship, and where that intimacy is born. It's so incredible. It's like so many of us, we like live in this shame
Starting point is 00:28:58 of why do I have to deal with this depression? Why do I have to battle this anxiety? But had you hadn't gone through that, you wouldn't have been so dependent on Him. Look at you. Look at Him. He is a true living testimony. You are so hungry for Him because of what you went through.
Starting point is 00:29:14 So it's just anyone who's listening to this, who goes through depression and anxiety or maybe addiction, don't feel ashamed. Look at Him. Look at all of us. That's why we're so hungry. It's such a beautiful thing. It's beautiful.
Starting point is 00:29:28 I always say, what I've realized recently is all of the suffering in my life is actually God's grace. He really says to me, I don't want you to suffer. I don't want you to hurt. I don't want you to go through these things, but I do love you so much that I'll never let you forget how much you need me. And it's just such a good perspective to have through the suffering to be like, yeah, I
Starting point is 00:29:51 did wake up with so much anxiety today, but God, I'm calling out for you, Jesus, and it's worth it. 100%. I don't want to wake up apathetic like, oh yeah, I'm actually good today, so I'm not even going to reach for you. It's like, no, I know every single day, God, I need you. I need you. And what I love, every other religion, their God, it's like their God didn't come down as a servant and a suffering servant. And so, in Hebrews 4, it says, we don't have
Starting point is 00:30:19 a high priest that is unable to empathize with our weakness. It says in every way he's been tested as we are. And I remember having a panic attack and crippled by anxiety. And I was kind of like, why? And like, almost like you don't get it. And Jesus like whispered to my heart and was like, hey, I had a panic attack so bad, I sweat drops of blood. Hey, I was so lonely. All my friends left me in my deepest hour of need.
Starting point is 00:30:44 And so for our faith, we my friends left me in my deepest hour of need. And so for our faith, we have a Savior that in every way is able to empathize because He came down as a man and suffered. And it says, He with loud tears and suffering would cry out to God. And that's Hebrews 5. So our Savior understands. And someone needs to hear that. It's like, He knows. And He's with you. And He went through it. And He says, in this life, you'll have trouble, but take heart. I've overcome the world.
Starting point is 00:31:15 And it says in that Hebrews passage, too, one thing I love alluding to what you're saying too, is like, He learned, it says, Jesus learned obedience through what He suffered says Jesus learned obedience through what he suffered. Jesus learned obedience through what he suffered. How much more do we need to suffer in order to learn true obedience? And so what suffering produces is so much greater, I think, than what we'll ever understand on this side of eternity.
Starting point is 00:31:40 And I truly believe that one day when we're in heaven, we're gonna be like, oh, you should let me suffer more. Yeah. Totally, totally. I really do think that because I think that suffering, what it creates is it strips you of all pride, it strips you of all independence, and it says, Lord, I can't do this without you. Like I truly desperately need you.
Starting point is 00:31:59 And I think that's what is so beautiful of what suffering creates and produces that we've seen in our life is like, man, I just, I can't go a single day without him. Like, I need you every single step of the day. I can't do this without you. Wow. God, so good. I adore you guys. You guys are awesome. You just said it. You couldn't have said that better. Could we get into a little bit? So you guys are married. How long have you been married?
Starting point is 00:32:25 Almost two. Yeah, almost two already. Isn. How long have you been married? Almost two. Yeah, almost two years. Almost two already? Isn't that crazy? Well, October will be two years. So you're in eight, nine? That's crazy. So, and you guys got married,
Starting point is 00:32:37 maybe not young for the Christian community, but young for the rest of the world. You know what I mean? Like you guys are in your 20s. You guys are, you're young. You have these I mean? Like you guys are in your twenties. You guys are, you're young, you have these like beautiful lives and then you get married. And I just, we want to know everything from two single girls, how it's been. Work. It takes work, but it's so good. I want to start just by saying it is so beautiful and it is God's design. And Paul in Ephesians 5 says the mystery of marriage is about Jesus in the church.
Starting point is 00:33:12 And that's what we've come to see most is like, our marriage, like we want people to look at our marriage and not see Grant and Maddie, but be like, I want their Jesus. Like, I want their Jesus. And we are supposed to be a reflection. And so literally on the way here, she's like, you made us late and I'm like, but you. And then we're quiet for five minutes. And then we both went in our own moments.
Starting point is 00:33:39 We're like, will you please forgive me? That wasn't loving and that wasn't kind. But that is marriage and it has made us so close. And the call for me to lay my life down for her is the call. And it's actually like the most beautiful picture. We each display Jesus in our own unique way. The word submit is like a crazy weird word that culture has just twisted, wicked men have twisted it. But it is so beautiful because the way Jesus submitted to the Father. It didn't make him less than, it didn't change his rank, still God, but there was this role that he played. And so as I submit to Christ, she comes under my leadership and a strong woman like that to come under my leadership
Starting point is 00:34:25 makes me want to lay my life down for her. And it's this cycle that it's like the more I lay my life down, the more she's like, I'll follow that. We could go so many directions, but it's been amazing. I think our first, and we've opened up about this, but our first six months were really hard, really hard. And just a big challenge, I think for me, being a very independent, strong-willed,
Starting point is 00:34:48 passionate woman and just learning what marriage truly is, which is service, which is sacrifice. It means the things that I think you think about marriage and you're like, sleepovers with my best friend every night and I never had to be alone, and all these things. And it's like, yeah, for sure. And there's a constant dying to self, and sacrifice, and service.
Starting point is 00:35:12 And I think at the beginning, when we got married, it really just revealed so much selfishness, and so much pride. And we were used to doing things our own way, and for the longest time, I would get up and I'd pray and I'd just be like, Lord, change this in Grant, change this in Grant. And somewhere along the way,
Starting point is 00:35:32 the Lord started changing my heart. And it was like, my prayer went from change Grant to change me, help me be the wife that you've called me to be. Help me to enjoy your design. Because I think I was very mad at God at the beginning when we got married, of just like God's design of that submission of the role of a wife to be a support and a help and to respect her husband. I wanted to lead. I wanted to be in charge. And it was hard for me to respect at times. And those were really trying and testing moments for me.
Starting point is 00:36:05 But then when I started, I don't know, just like falling more in love with the Lord and praying and saying, Lord, help me be the wife you've called me to be and understand the mystery of marriage. It was like all of that flipped and I genuinely loved serving him. I loved submitting to him.
Starting point is 00:36:21 I love just, yeah, just trusting his leadership to the point now where I'm almost like, yeah, whatever God speaks to him. I love just, yeah, just trusting his leadership to the point now where I'm almost like, yeah, whatever God speaks to you. And I'm like, I'll still pray, but like, okay, I trust you, you know, because I see the way he fears the Lord and I see the way he loves Jesus and the way he loves people and the way he loves me.
Starting point is 00:36:38 And so I so trust him. But that took a minute to get into that. But yeah, now it really is like, we're best friends. We have the best time. And like he said, it's still work. I mean, it's still sacrifice. It's still, you have to be communicative and be honest and be open, have accountability around you
Starting point is 00:36:58 and not be naive to how the devil works to create division, to create temptation. I mean, he's crafty. And so having constant community and being vulnerable, being like, hey guys, I need to confess this thought that I have, or this thing that I saw, I need to confess it to you. And I think that's been really helpful for us. 100%.
Starting point is 00:37:27 Hey there, friends. Let's talk about something we can all struggle with from time to time. Finding time to sit down and read the Bible. Life is so hectic sometimes, it doesn't always leave room for quiet moments to sit down with God's word. But what if we didn't have to find quiet moments?
Starting point is 00:37:43 What if you could use the moments you already have for meaningful connection with God, like when you're working out, chopping vegetables, or even running errands? We've mentioned this amazing resource before, the Dwell Bible app you guys. The Bible app that puts listening first. This is not your normal audio Bible. The voices are calming and genuine, not robotic sounding at all. We love the customizable features like background music and narration speed. You can totally tailor your Bible listening experience to suit your preferences. We've also been loving the Dwell Daily devotional.
Starting point is 00:38:24 It offers a fresh take on scripture every day. It really is a beautiful way to start your mornings as you're guided through a passage of God's Word, a thoughtful reflection, and a formational prayer practice all in 5 or 6 minutes. Some days are just going to be a whirlwind and there are going to be times when you can't sit down with a nice cup of coffee and open the Bible to read. But now, instead of missing out, you can stay connected with God's Word by listening to Dwell. If you're ready to infuse your day with more of the Bible, then head over to dwellbible.com.ggb to get a 25% discount today.
Starting point is 00:39:04 Again, that's dwellbible.com slash ggb for 25% off. Well, marriage is the best. It's the best, I can't wait for y'all to be married. I know, I can't. Couple trips. You know what I think about with you, cause we met you like a year ago almost now. And so that was probably almost eight months
Starting point is 00:39:22 into your relationship and it was still pretty new. And I remember when we came to see you last time in Texas, I remember making a note of how different you were. Because you and I are very similar in that we're strong, we're whatever, we're passionate and everything. I saw such a massive shift in your softness. And I knew that it was from your submission. Because we moved through life,
Starting point is 00:39:46 and even as Christian women, we're so vulnerable being a woman. It is. That's why we're radically anti-feminism. However, we get it in a sense. We do, because it's like you feel the need to protect yourself. And so I just know that after you entered
Starting point is 00:40:01 into this godly covenant union, where you were under your husband's submission, it just softened you so much. I saw a different Maddie when I came. I couldn't believe it. Free. You were free. You know what I mean? I couldn't believe it. You are so soft.
Starting point is 00:40:17 You're like, you're more emotional than I remember. Strong, but you just were soft. It's so beautiful. Free. That's how I would describe it. It's just like when we move through life being like, I gotta do everything and I gotta be masculine and dominant and whatever. It's just not the way that we're supposed to be.
Starting point is 00:40:32 I thought I had to self-protect. I thought I had to always be right. I had to always be strong. And I've learned a new meaning of strength. I've learned a new meaning of love. And I think that's what a godly marriage does, is it puts those things in a perspective. And like he said, it's just, I was reading in First Corinthians seven, and when you have an eternal perspective with marriage, it changes everything.
Starting point is 00:40:55 I mean, it really changes everything. And it talks about in that First Corinthians seven, like, even though you're married, almost act as if you're not, not in a bad way, but in a way of, it's still all about you and Jesus. And the way you're going to be able to love your spouse best is when you love God the most. And when you make that your greatest, highest priority, I can only give Grant what Grant needs when I'm getting it from God. Because apart from God, Maddie is messed up, selfish, prideful, strong-willed, rebellious, all of these things. But when I am submitted under the Lord and I am bridling myself saying,
Starting point is 00:41:32 Lord, I can't do this without you and I'm coming under the power of the Holy Spirit, help me to love my spouse the way you call me to love him, it does something, it changes something. And that's how I feel like we've both been able to love each other in the way God calls us to. And every day we're learning, and every day it reveals a new thing that I'm like,
Starting point is 00:41:51 oh, didn't know that about you the day before. And I'm learning something new every single day. And it's the beauty of doing life together. It's so fun. Yeah, it's great. While we have you guys here, I love, because when we decided to lay down the sin, it changed our life. And we just think it's so important, purity.
Starting point is 00:42:14 And you've taught us a lot about that. And could you guys just touch a little bit on how important it is to stay pure before marriage? Yes, 100%. And just to go off that as well, and if you guys could talk about pot, if you're down to go there, if we could talk about maybe coming together
Starting point is 00:42:31 with different paths. Yeah, 100%. And what that looks like. 100%. I'd love for you to start with sharing even, I was thinking about it, the importance of community and accountability with what your friends helped you with when you
Starting point is 00:42:46 were going through that time before we ever even met. Did not live a pure life, was not pure, addicted in every single way, physically, all of it. And I remember the cycle of like, four days free, seven days back, and I just remember thinking, and I was walking with Jesus, and I love Jesus, but I was like, I don't know if I'll ever be free. And I think that's a lot of people's mindset right now. I just want to say you can be, and you will be, in the name of Jesus. But I would say, as a man, you will only ever operate at 60% of the man of God you're called to be when you're stuck in sexual sin. Every other sin, the Bible says, is outside the body. Sexual sin is against your own body.
Starting point is 00:43:36 There is a different type of sin when we start talking about sexual impurity. And what I would say is, you have to, what Jesus said, get really serious about either cutting off the hand or gouging out the eye. What He said in Matthew 5. And He doesn't mean literally, but it's like, do whatever it takes. And I remember a moment in my life where I was so sick of it. I called one friend and I said, hey, I am getting rid of Xbox, TV, take internet off my phone, just calling and texting. I'll never be in my room alone. And I got a roommate and I just was like, it sucked. It sucked. But I was like, it's not worth it. It's not worth it. And purity is not for purity's sake.
Starting point is 00:44:20 It's because God, the creator of sex, who made it feel good, who was like, this is awesome and my invention, I just know where it's going to work best. And Satan's like, nope, it'll be good right here. And it only causes shame. It only causes just a shell of yourself to come out. And so I just want to say, starting with, you've got to know your why. And your why is not to be a good person. Your why is not to be a good Christian. Your why is because God knows a good person, your why is not to be a good Christian.
Starting point is 00:44:45 Your why is because God knows it's best for you and He loves you and He says, it's going to be so good here. But if you cannot discipline yourself here, then there's carnage and damage waiting for you out there. And I know about that. And so heading into marriage, I was not a virgin, she was. We came in with two different paths. Yeah. And I would say, like, having to work through... It took a while to work through.
Starting point is 00:45:08 ...thoughts and having to work through expectations of sex and marriage, where she's like, I waited, so God's gonna bless this. It's gonna be the best thing in the whole entire world every day of my life. In our, like... And I'm like, I come in with these crazy expectations, and all I was going off of were these Hollywood movies, where it's like, just whatever, however they paint the picture,
Starting point is 00:45:29 that's extremely unrealistic, and they usually are painting it in a sinful way. And so that's all I had to really go off of. And so yeah, it was a lot of, I think us both, working through and having to learn how to communicate, because a lot of times I would communicate things that were really hurtful for him to hear and vice versa. And it was just like, okay, we wanna be honest,
Starting point is 00:45:52 but what is the best way we can communicate and even putting mentors in our life to be like, hey, help us work through this in our marriage and also individually because it's not helpful for my husband for me to vocalize every feeling or fear or thought that I have Towards this every insecurity I have and so yeah, I think it was definitely a lot of communication and I would say to Purity is so much more than just the physical purity is so much more than just sexual and I think that's where in our culture purity talk and purity culture has become this,
Starting point is 00:46:27 you know, like thing that everyone's like, ew, like let me run from that because of the stigma or whatever around it. But purity is so much more. And it's this posture of holiness. It's this posture of you wanna be like your father. You wanna be just like him. And it says in his word, for I am holy,
Starting point is 00:46:46 so you are to be holy. And it says all throughout the word, just the importance of purity and holiness and tying the two together. And so, I don't know, I think for me growing up, it was still a struggle. Like I'm very open about how I used to struggle with pornography, like that was a part of my past.
Starting point is 00:47:04 And so even though I hadn't had sex before marriage, I had still seen things. I had still experienced, my body had still experienced things and I was still coming in with a skewed perspective of what godly sex and godly intimacy looks like. And so that was still a battle even on my end as well. But it was that continued, I think,
Starting point is 00:47:28 when I in freshman year of college got free from that stronghold of pornography and breaking free from that shame of even, oh, as a woman, you're not supposed to watch porn, you're not supposed to masturbate. That's like, only dudes have that struggle. It took me a while to really break free from that. And then once I did, it was what he said,
Starting point is 00:47:47 knowing the why behind it, which was for me, it says in God's word in Matthew 5, 8, blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. If I pursue purity, if I pursue purity, it's gonna help me see my God, it's gonna help me see my heavenly Father. In Ephesians 1, 4, you know, before the creation of the world,
Starting point is 00:48:06 he created us to be holy and blameless in his sight. I was created for holiness. When I go outside of that, I'm going outside of God's original design. I'm going outside of his commandment and what he made for me. And like Grant said, and it's the best. He doesn't do it to withhold.
Starting point is 00:48:23 He doesn't say, hey, don't have sex and flee from sexual immorality because I want to withhold from you. It's like, he's like, no, just trust me. I promise you it's so worth it and my weight is best and I just need you to believe that. And I think we've both seen now in the context of marriage, it is so true, it's so worth it and it's so beautiful
Starting point is 00:48:44 and it still takes work, and it takes conversation, and it's not perfect, but at the same time, when it is God's design, there's God's blessing, and it's worship, and it's beautiful, and there's no shame, there's shamelessness. It only creates unity, it only creates peace, it only creates security, whereas outside of God's original design, it does everything opposite of that. It creates shame, it creates insecurity, it creates doubt, it creates fear,
Starting point is 00:49:13 all of these feelings and things. And so it is so worth it, and it still takes work. Yeah, I just wanna add really quickly. work. Yeah, I just want to add really quickly. We all know that beauty sleep is so important. But in the middle of summer, it can be tough to stay cool and stay asleep. Fortunately, that's what GhostBed is here for. GhostBed is an award winning bed in a box mattress brand and everything they do is helping you get cooler more comfortable sleep. Every mattress is designed with breathable
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Starting point is 00:50:32 experience creating high quality products that are built to last so I won't need to worry about replacing a sagging mattress in just a couple years. Ready for a more comfortable night's sleep? Visit ghostbed.com slash ggb. And because we're all about sharing the love here on Girls Gone Bible podcast, use the code GGB to take 50% off of your purchase site wide. The way you look at the way Jesus responded to everybody in their sexual sin, it was with so much grace and gentleness. And John 8, the woman caught in adultery,
Starting point is 00:51:09 if y'all remember that story, thrown in front of Jesus, and Jesus just met her with this daughter. And He put identity on her, and everyone left, and it was just him and her. And just imagine the Son of God in your most shameful, dark, sexually immoral moment. Who knows if she's clothed or not? And he's looking at her and he calls her daughter. And all of a sudden, this just dignity comes back. This identity comes back. But he doesn't leave her there. He says,
Starting point is 00:51:34 that's not who you are. So go and sin no more. And so there's this command and commission. And so understand no matter where you're at, if you're coming off, if you had sex last night and you're going, God wouldn't want me, He wants you. And freedom is yours. And so practically, number one, you've got to confess it. You've got the Bible says you confess and repent. And so you've got to speak it out loud and you'll have someone there to pray for you. You'll be healed. And then you got to put the steps in place to not go back. And so I don't know if that's no phone, but there has to be accountability. And I would say when you just try to do it alone, that's where people find themselves
Starting point is 00:52:13 in this thing. That's why the local church is so important. Not because church is the hope of the world, Jesus is, but like you've got to get around believers that will go, dude, I just looked at porn last night, help me, help me. Like it starts there and they'll go, okay, let's lock in. Yeah, and that's my story. I love how open you guys are. It's so helpful.
Starting point is 00:52:36 It's so real. You see why he's helped me with my vulnerability. He's so vulnerable and I love it about him. You guys are a testament though of bringing, not to be weird, but it's kind of like us where God puts two people together. I love it, I love it. No seriously, any sort of partnership where we have
Starting point is 00:52:58 strengths that compliment each other. Totally, totally. You know what I mean? And you guys, your strengths and your strengths together are unstoppable. They're so powerful. That's what happens when you walk in the will of God. That's what happens when you let God choose your spouse for you.
Starting point is 00:53:13 Like, I'm not gonna settle for anyone else. And then you see this partnership of two people who are clearly meant to be together. That's why you never settle for anything less than God's best. Yes. Speaking of that. meant to be together. That's why you never settle for anything less than God's best. Yeah. Yes. Speaking of that.
Starting point is 00:53:27 Oh man, she got something to say. Speaking of that, no seriously, I know I talked about it in our last episode, but I wanna, for anyone who's single, who's really like trying to find God and just in this period of just unsettledness, read her book, it's my favorite book I've ever read. And I mean that with my whole heart.
Starting point is 00:53:48 I've read a lot of books. And I cried the whole book. It was incredible. You really, you poured your heart out in that book. And so anyone, it's the love everybody wants. Please, you guys, it freed me by that book if you're in a time of singleness. Thank you guys so much for coming.
Starting point is 00:54:07 We love you guys so much. We're so grateful for your friendship and just you guys and thank you so much. We love you guys. Can we do this every week? I can't wait to hang out today. This is amazing. All right guys, push her in a mic, come here.
Starting point is 00:54:21 Guys, we love you so much. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he turn his face towards you and give you peace. We love you so much. Bye. you

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