Girls Gone Bible - Vanity & Updated Modesty | Girls Gone Bible
Episode Date: June 28, 2024hiiii ggb:) this weeks episode is all about vanity. we discussed what God says about it, our journey with vanity, different forms of vanity, how it can be detrimental to your life and how to overcome... it. we also give our updated take on modesty. where we stand with it now vs our initial modesty episode from almost a year ago. we can't thank you enough for giving us the opportunity to do this every week. for growing with us. for loving us like you do. you're our everything. we love you guys so much. Jesus loves you more. -Ang & Ari if you’d like to support Girls Gone Bible 🙏🏻🕊️🤍 Paypal- https://www.paypal.me/girlsgonebibleinfo Venmo- https://www.venmo.com/u/girlsgonebible HEY WHILE WE'RE HERE. WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO RATE & LEAVE COMMENTS ON SPOTIFY & APPLE PODS. IT HELPS US. OK BYE NOW LOVE YOU
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Alright, things rolling.
Thank you.
I just want to put a little lip on.
Do I need it?
A little bit.
A little bit, right?
Are we filming?
Are you filming this?
Alright.
Alright.
Okay, so for each other names and so for this episode we're going to be doing a little bit Alright!
Alright!
Okay so for each other names and so for this episode of Vanity I brought makeup wipes,
we're taking it all off.
That was good.
They put in our hair and a sleep bag bun.
Yeah that's what the people want huh?
Oh yeah.
Oh since I'm not, since I don't care what we're doing.
Yeah yeah.
I just let this stuff stay in the tooth.
Leave it in there.
It was a good idea.
I think that's a good idea, right?
Uh huh.
Is it in the tooth?
The tooth?
God, you look so beautiful.
You look like a princess for summer.
I'm actually not kidding.
I do?
You look like a summery angel.
No, I definitely didn't yesterday.
I am.
I looked like I was...
I'm so...
So hard for me to draw the edges!
I like you Emma.
I like you. I like you. I like you. I am. I looked like I was... I'm so...
So hard for me to be edgy!
I like you, Enos!
You look like me!
I know, I looked like I was in the Chilean gang.
Is that right?
Is it not?
Okay, so for today's episode of Vanity, um...
Yeah, that's what they say.
Hey, can you guys come in just bare?
And all I could think about was when you and me wake up in the morning
and we look like axe burners with our legs.
We look like actual...
Actually, I do want to speak to that.
I want everyone who's like, if you guys were really...
If you love Jesus so much, then don't wear any makeup on the podcast.
You don't want that.
I'm telling you, these are studio lights.
If we come in here with no makeup,
we will look like we have beady little eyes.
Oh, we won't.
I'm just kidding, we're so pretty.
Yeah.
Yeah, we look like this when we wake up in the morning.
You gotta call us out like that.
We're gonna look.
Good night, sleep. The guys are definitely gonna find out who's in the marriage.
To my future husband, this is exactly what I look like when I wake up in the morning.
Every single day. Lashes and all. I actually have permanent falsies.
Oh my gosh. Are they gonna hear any of that?
They will, right? Are you sure?
Are you filming me?
Shoot, shoot.
Oh, shucks.
Do we have an announcement?
Shoot the messenger.
Shoot the messenger.
What a good segue.
Is that what a segue is?
Huh?
No.
What is it?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's, what's that word that you said?
Oh, inevitable.
You are an angel.
What was your name one more time?
Thomas.
Louise Jerome.
That's who picked on me.
Louise Jerome.
Yeah.
Louise Jerome, if you're watching this,
you're about to get it.
She picked on me.
Thank you, Thomas.
Louise, oh, that was a girl.
I thought it was a guy. You thought a guy picked on me? I you, Thomas. Louise, oh, that was a girl, I thought it was a guy.
You thought a guy picked on me?
I don't know, Louise.
You know the guys weren't picking on me.
I'm just kidding.
You're so modest.
Me can umble.
You know what I'm laughing about though, last night.
What did I do?
Take it out.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
I was like, okay okay Shmaryella. Anyways, hey guys, I am Ari. I'm sorry, let me do that over. Oh, sure. Hey guys, I'm scared of food.
He said I was stupid.
You wonder why we're single?
What guy would ever watch? He's like, oh, that's who I am.
Why are we here?
We have made ourselves look absolutely ridiculous.
Clinically insane.
We have made ourselves-
You were thinking that?
Because they had me thinking those thoughts.
What?
I'm sorry you guys.
I'm sorry.
Guys, the only way to get through life is to laugh at your pain.
By the way, the only way to get through life is to laugh through your pain.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaking of that, let's try to have a little fun today.
Please, please.
Love of God, no crying today.
Everyone thinks I'm ugly.
Eee.
We keep doing that because Ari and I make fun of ourselves
every time we see ourselves crying on the podcast.
We always go, eee.
I picture that meme of Kim Kardashian.
I'm like, is that what we look like?
Literally.
Okay.
People tag me in stories and I want to repost it because I love them and I like want to
repost but then it'll have me crying and so I'll just add music over it so no one can
hear what I'm saying.
My, you don't want to know what my clips are.
Hey everyone, I'm Ari.
And I'm Ange.
And we are Girls Gone Bible, where
we talk about everything Jesus, spirituality, mental health.
Like we say, come as you are, just don't stay that way.
I, uh, good.
You guys, we're so happy.
Thank you, Jesus.
I don't know if you guys have been praying for our joy or if people have
been praying for us but we are so much better. It just feels like I can laugh again. There's
just something lifted off. I don't know what's going on but thank you Jesus. Hallelujah. Truly.
Truly.
Okay. I know because I was just thinking about how tough last night was.
I know.
Let's see.
Today we're talking about vanity, and we want to do an updated modesty episode where we
just talk about everything to do with vanity, modesty, looks, appearance.
We kind of spoke a little bit about it in the body image episode,
but I think that there's just more to it
and we could really zone in on just what it means to be,
what beauty means and like what God thinks about
when he thinks about our outward appearance
and what the Bible says about vanity.
You know, it's so funny, I don't know, this is so off.
I almost wish we could sit together
Do you want me to come over there? No, we have opposite sides. Oh, yeah. I always give up my opps
Hey, that's a good thing about vanity. Oh, yeah
We oh so Ari and I know that God put us together for a reason because we have opposite good sides
And so it works whenever we have a guess
I don't know if you guys have ever seen me over there
But I want you to know that I give up my good side every single time
when I sit over there honestly like well because you offer it sometimes you're
like it's okay you did it last time and I'm like you know what no because I
need to you'd never offer it I've never
She knows I'll be pissed. She knows I'll give her an attitude the whole day.
I don't want to do it.
You can have it.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines
vanity as inflated pride
in oneself or one's appearance
or something that is vain,
empty, or valueless.
People who are vain are
normally self-absorbed, selfish,
and prideful.
So vanity isn't just about your looks,
although that is a major component of it.
It is an inflated pride in yourself.
So it could be in your achievements, in your accolades,
in your wisdom and knowledge.
And like, it could just be,
it just like comes down to pride really.
But a lot of it does have to do with
be having vanity about your looks.
Yeah. a lot of it does have to do with having vanity about your looks. So I'll just read this little thing from Ecclesiastes really quick.
It is, this is Solomon speaking.
Solomon had everything.
He had riches, he had wisdom, he had power.
And you will see in this, in this verse, in this passage, that Solomon came to the conclusion that all
of this is empty.
It means nothing.
And he's come to this point in his life where he's actually backslid in the faith so much
that he's questioning the existence of God.
And you'll see that when he doesn't have God in his life, no matter all that he has, it all means nothing to him.
It's all empty.
And so the whole book of Ecclesiastes is-
I would have called it Elastics.
Like a year ago, not now.
It's a book, it's like one of the most,
they call it just like the most pessimistic scripture,
book of scripture, because it is so sad and it's not till the very end that Solomon actually comes
to the conclusion of why he feels the way that he does. But this passage is called,
everything is meaningless. It's Ecclesiastes chapter one.
Everything is meaningless, says the teacher, completely meaningless.
What do people get for all their hard work under the sun?
Generations come and generations go,
but the earth never changes.
The sun rises and the sun sets,
then hurries around to rise again.
The wind blows south and then turns north.
Around and around it goes, blowing in circles.
Rivers run
into the sea, but the sea is never full. Then the water returns again to the
rivers and flows out again to the sea. Everything is wearisome beyond
description. No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much
we hear, we are not content. History merely repeats itself. It has all been
done before.
Nothing new under the sun is truly new.
Sometimes people say, here's something new,
but actually it is old.
Nothing is ever truly new.
We don't remember what happened in the past,
and in future generations, no one
will remember what we are doing now.
So this first part, everything is meaningless,
completely meaningless.
In another translation, it says, vanity of vanities, says the preacher, vanity of vanities, all is vanity. And so he's thinking,
he's basically speaking to the fact that everything is meaningless, because at this point he doesn't
have God in his life, so that's his perspective on life. And I think it just goes so well with
the fact that when we speak about vanity today and thinking about
our appearance and thinking about the things that aren't of God, we will find ourselves
time and time again.
And I know that we all know this, but it's such a good reminder that if you don't have
Jesus at the center of everything you do, it is valueless.
It is empty.
It is fleeting.
It is futile.
And you will simply never be satisfied, you
will never be fulfilled, and that is just the absolute truth of it.
Oh yes.
When did, do you have a story about, what would you say your most, like what would you
compare your vanity to?
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That's O-L-I-V-E-A-N-D-J-U-N-une.com slash ggb for 20% off your first system. I've said it on here before, but back in the day, I used to be obsessed with taking photos
of myself.
It's weird because I wasn't vain in the sense that if I was like with somebody or with friends
or just like in the presence of somebody else,
my focus was never on myself.
It was never on my looks.
It was always on the person and being present in the moment.
And so I didn't put so much value into my looks
and at the same time I put so much value into my appearance.
I used to take photos of myself all the time.
I had many, many photos of
myself. I used to post on my Instagram story photos of myself and videos of myself all day long. I
mean, it's like really all I did. I was obsessed with the validation that I got from people saying
nice things about my looks. And then over time, this is such a massive area that God has worked in in me
that I no longer truly from the bottom of my heart feel anything when people validate
my looks. And it's simply not something that I think about the way that I used to. Again,
clearly put effort into my appearance, clearly care about hair, nails, makeup.
I think it's fun. I'm a girl.
And I will never not take care of myself.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
I will never...
That's a beautiful thing.
Yeah. This is the body that God gave me.
I'm thinking about...
I'm so sorry.
You guys have to watch one of our first videos on modesty.
We were- we had lost our minds and Angela's sitting there and she is trying to convince everyone
why she gets her nails done. She goes, I mean I have to get my nails done. I like, what did you say?
I get- I said- I said for- I was really overcome.
It was the beginning where like people's comments were to me so much, and I was like,
you guys, I pick up my things and they bleed,
and I struggle.
So I gotta get my nails done.
I gotta get my nails done, otherwise I have to wear
band-aids, and literally Ari goes, hey, it's okay.
You can get your nails done.
You don't have to stand up for yourself.
But keep going.
No, he's changed, he's changed me.
He's truly from the bottom of my heart.
He has changed me from the inside out.
I don't put emphasis on the way that I look anymore.
I can't say I never take photos, but I will say I take a photo once in a blue moon.
The only reason I really ever have somebody else take a photo of me is if other people around me
are taking photos and it reminds me that like,
social media is a thing and this is something we should do.
I never post on, I rarely post on my personal Instagram
anymore and people ask me all the time,
why aren't you trying to grow your,
and I'm just like, first of all, I don't care.
I don't care.
I post on Girls Gone Bible all day long
because that's what I care about.
I care about the ministry and I care about the community.
And this might sound like we're just coming on
saying things that we have to,
but this is genuinely the absolute truth
that God has stripped the vanity away from me.
Like everything, just anything,
just the idea of thinking about myself so much is gone.
Well, even like for ourselves,
but I think you and I used to do it for men.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think that's why, like, you know, I, did you,
like we used to have to kind of have this sex appeal
because that's how we thought people, people would want us.
Yeah. Let's talk about sex appeal. It's gone. It's gone.
You heard it here first and we're not ashamed to say that there was a point in time where having sex appeal was a very important thing.
Sex sells in our world that we live in. And to not be sexy is like a very important thing. Sex sells in our world that we live in.
And to not be sexy is like a really bad thing.
That is something, and I think it's so sweet and I love it.
And from the bottom of my heart, and I mean this,
I can't believe that there was ever a time
that being sexy was a priority for me.
I don't wanna be sexy.
It was a priority for us.
I don't want anyone looking at me like that.
I don't want any, do you know what it feels like,
or for the first time in my life,
that men don't objectify me?
Maybe they do behind my back,
but like from my understanding,
I am never in a position where men look at me for one thing.
I don't experience that anymore.
And it is so freeing and it feels so good and I think
back to a time where every man that I met looked at me in a very particular way for
a very certain thing no matter who it was and nobody.
And now you're respected.
Respected.
Nobody looks at me like that.
We're saying it the other day, sometimes we take
photos with people and like our model friends will be like working the camera and we're on the end
like hmm. I look like legit Spongebob in photos and I never, God really, God really did something.
He took a girl that did my eyes and my photos. I didn't even know how to be anything but that.
I truly, even if I tried, man, I don't have that,
but it comes from living in holiness,
living in purity.
And then once we started doing that walk,
it was like, it was gone.
It was like the eyes, we look different.
I don't even know who that was when I look at old photos.
I get so freaked out when I see that girl.
It breaks my heart when I see photos of like,
just so my essence, my very essence,
purity is a natural response to being close to Jesus.
It really is.
And that's why we say purity is not just not having sex.
Purity is your heart posture.
It's the state of your heart. It's the condition of your heart.
And so for us, yes, not having sex has a lot to do with it.
But not watching things that will evoke a certain emotion.
Music is so integral for me.
If I listen to music that has like any sort of something,
I feel myself like resorting back to that.
They played Bad Bunny at my house,
and I was like, I don't like the way this feels.
You know I can't listen to that stuff.
I can't, I really can't.
Yeah, when you're, it's really weird.
And you don't even, even for us now,
literally when they say he will change the desires
of your heart, it's true.
The way, and it's, I never thought that we'd be able to live in this purity and this holiness
of not even wanting it.
And actually, like, I can't even look that way.
Makes me sick.
It's weird how the, but then we love new things
and I never thought I would enjoy these kinds of things
in living in holiness.
I just, yeah.
So what is your journey with vanity
and just looks and appearance?
So, you know, I was in the entertainment industry modeling.
I was constantly judged entertainment industry modeling.
I was constantly judged, constantly compared. I was all about my looks.
It's all I thought, it's all I knew.
It's, I mean, 12 years old,
I'm wearing 10 pounds of makeup in school.
It was crazy.
But the thing is, is that,
and I want to say this because
I want you guys to understand something because we do get a lot of comments of being like,
why does she have some, why are you wearing makeup and why are you wearing this? And I
see people bashing each other on social media. Let me tell you something. I wore so much
makeup as a kid because I didn't like myself.
So I thought, okay, let's put on more makeup.
Let's maybe if I do my hair blonde
or maybe if I wear a shorter skirt,
that will make me feel loved.
That will make me feel more beautiful.
And I never felt good.
And so when you guys, I would just encourage you guys,
be careful what you're saying online
because people don't feel good in there.
They don't feel pretty and so they feel like they have to dress a certain way.
They feel like they have to wear so much makeup.
You know, you see people getting surgeries and all this stuff.
It's not because they're bad or because they're, you know...
Vain and obsessed with how they look.
That's what I mean. Yeah. It's not, it has, a lot of the times
they're so broken inside.
They keep doing things and doing things
to try to make themselves feel good.
And they're just really broken inside.
I know that was the case.
I'm telling you right now, I never saw myself.
I had legitimate imposter syndrome.
You give me a compliment, I'm looking at you like,
what are you talking about?
No, I'm not pretty. No, I'm not nice. No, I'm looking at you like, what are you talking about? No, I'm not pretty.
No, I'm not nice.
No, I'm not good.
I never had self-worth.
I really didn't.
And so that was the beauty of finding Jesus.
And I was telling you the other night,
he really did something in my heart where,
listen, sometimes, yes, I actually do,
I do still deal with insecurities. I do. It's something that I'm still working through. where, listen, sometimes, yes, I actually do,
I do still deal with insecurities.
I do, it's something that I'm still working through.
I still, you know, I don't know, you know me,
like I still go through things with insecurities,
but I don't make it my life anymore.
I don't, he literally did a work in my heart.
I just don't care. But it is,
I have to check myself every day. I do.
I have seen the most massive transformation with you. Like, truthfully, when I first met
you, I remember like, if you, we would always joke that you had hair dysmorphia, like your
hair is your life. And granted, like I understand because it's the best hair I've ever seen. But like, if you felt like you had a dysmorphia, like your hair is your life. And granted, like I understand, because it's the best hair I've ever seen.
But like, if you felt like you had a bad hair day.
I wouldn't leave.
It could genuinely ruin your entire day.
Yeah, I know.
It could send you into, if you didn't like your hair,
like on an episode, it could send you,
like you were gone, like no longer listening
to whatever you're saying, but it's all you could see.
I know.
And you would also, remember you said something
about fixating, and it was all you would see?
Yeah.
Oh, do you wanna say it?
No, no, yeah.
Yeah, no, and I remember,
and you would also have this thing,
and it was your OCD that would flare up too,
is that you would see something on your face
or something that nobody else would see,
and then you would hyper-focus on it,
and you would make it this big, big thing.
And God has worked so much in you.
It is the most, it's beautiful to see God working
in your own life, and then it's almost even more evidence
to see it in somebody else's life.
Because now I see that you can notice things
that maybe you don't love or you're not happy with,
and you're able to just let it go.
And that's what combating vanity is.
It doesn't mean that you don't care at all
about what you look like, but you don't let it get
in the way of the mission that God has you on.
No, no.
And I realize what really makes me feel good.
And it's your inner heart, it's your inner soul.
It's just doing things to glorify Him, it's doing
things for others. And I know I said that in the last episode, but that's truly beauty.
I mean, I think it's a beautiful thing to want to feel good. I love to feel good. We
love to do things to upkeep and we're women and honestly, can you blame us women? I mean, what society has done, think about women.
We, since we're kids, we're trained to look good,
to get compliments, and that's the enemy feeds off that,
where we go to the mall and we see Victoria's Secret models
and makeup, and I mean, it's the biggest industry
in the world.
Yeah, we're taught from such a young age
to hate ourselves.
That's right. To benefit big companies. That's right, and then for men, industry in the world. Yeah. We're taught from such a young age to hate ourselves.
That's right.
To benefit big companies.
That's right.
And then for men, look at what men have to do.
They have to have high paying jobs.
They have to be super successful.
Do you know what I mean?
So that's a stress for them.
And then for us is we have to look good and be, date men and then they and then we're living in LA
and God forbid you know whatever they go for someone younger I mean it's a whole it's the enemy
that's where he attacks us so it's truly I think about the you know how the enemy satan has already
always had the same schemes it's always lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. Lust of the eyes is a major thing. What's appealing to the eye, what looks good, and that's how he
gets us through temptation. And then also the pride of life, and like what is, what can I acquire,
what can I gain, what can I, all of these things. And it's like for women, a lot of the time,
we're so focused on our looks, and for men they're so focused on their accolades and the things that they can acquire and the money that they can make and so we and they can both coincide and mix up
as well and we can take from that and they can take from this but it's just like and it's not
that you completely have to get rid of all of these things I really truly believe like God
literally used Esther and her beauty in the Bible. He strategically placed
her in a position from using her beauty utilizing that beauty to save his people and he did that
from her beauty. I would argue and I believe in my heart that God uses beauty. I know he does.
I know that I will never forget back in the day I I was at Mosaic and it was very early on in my journey
and I heard a pastor say, like,
use your spiritual gifts, whatever it may be,
teaching, cooking, cleaning, whatever it is,
use it in the name of the Lord our God.
And he said, if your gift is singing, sing your heart out.
If your gift is writing, write your heart out.
If you're beautiful
and people will look at you for just a second longer, use that for the gospel and for the
sake of Jesus. And so these are all, I don't think, the Bible doesn't tell us that we have to be ugly.
The Bible just tells us what to prioritize and that's our relationship with Jesus. That's right,
that's right. And if, and like you said, you can feel good, but you don't prioritize.
You don't make that your life.
You don't idolize it.
I idolized it.
And you guys have to be easy on people, because again, you're
looking at people and you say, God, she's so vain.
Look at all she's doing.
Look at all the makeup she's wearing.
No, it's because they don't feel well.
Be careful what you're commenting on, on people's pictures.
Be careful what you're saying behind people's back.
God can hear that, by the way, and that's a sin.
You don't do that.
You don't gossip and make fun of people.
People are going through a lot.
They're hurting.
You have to understand that.
I grew up so hurt.
I grew up just broken.
It went back to when I was a little girl.
Like people grew up in really broken homes
and they don't feel good.
They grow up from little girls to little boys to adults
and they carry the trauma when they're older.
And then they feel like they have to do this and this to look good.
They have to work really good jobs.
They have to drive nice cars when really they're empty inside.
Imagine that.
So think about that next time you're sitting there
judging someone or gossiping behind their back.
We need to really have compassion for these people
and yourself.
It's so true.
Have some compassion for yourself.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I just, I, the one thing that I just really,
I really change about myself is anytime I catch myself, both of us actually, I've noticed this within the both of us,
we're like, oh God, no never mind, Jesus loves me, everything's good.
Like you start saying that out loud, start speaking really good about yourself, it changes, it changes everything.
Negativity just, it brings you down, you'll start looking in the mirror and
you'll start seeing someone different. I would look, like you know how you were
telling me how you would look in the mirror and you know that's not what you would see?
I couldn't have related that to that more. When I would look into the mirror,
I was like, who is that? Oh, oh, sometimes I even still will have a perception.
If I'm not feeling good, if something's not right within my heart, I'll look at myself
and I'll be like, who, I hate that.
I hate what I see, I hate that.
And then I'll sometimes, it's the weirdest thing, I'll take a photo, I've done this
so many times, where I'll take a photo of myself just like a quick selfie
during a time that I absolutely hate what I look like.
And I'm so, I'm like having a mental breakdown
of being like, this is ugly, who is this?
And then I'll go back weeks later,
and I'll be like, I look so cute.
I know.
I look fine.
I know.
What did I see?
I know. It's the weirdest thing. I know. It is so insane. I know. I look fine. I know. What did I see?
I know.
It's the weirdest thing.
I know.
It is so insane.
I know.
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Just the way that He's opened my eyes.
My struggle with vanity isn't so much
that I'm like so obsessed with the way that I look.
It's more so the provocativeness and the look in the eyes
and just the way in which I presented myself
that he has torn down and it makes me so uncomfortable
to even think about somebody looking at me like that.
And I really mean it and I know it's so lame.
But like, I really think about my husband
and I'm like, he's the only one from the bottom of my heart
that I ever want to look at me like that.
I know.
Until then, I belong to Jesus
and my body belongs to Jesus
and I don't want anyone looking at me like that.
That's so beautiful.
Vanity too can come from working.
And we have to touch on that because it's a real thing.
And work and trying to be successful, I get it.
It's all I could think about even a year and a half ago.
All my focus was on how can I get to that? How can I make it, what can I do, what can I do?
And you literally, if all you do is focus on work, you are going to be, you think, I don't even know if lost is the word,
you are going to be done for if all you're worried about is work. That is not all there is to life. I know that we need to
make a living. I know how important work is, but you cannot make it your sole focus. I don't care
if you have to work at 8 a.m. You get up at 5 a.m. and make time for Jesus. You have to. You have to.
Or you are going to be walking aimlessly through life, confused, broken, and just...
You're going to experience burnout. It's not sustainable. Everything is fleeting. Every single thing in this life is fleeting.
The root of many evils is money. That doesn't mean that money is inherently evil. It means that the things that the desire and the love for money will produce are evil.
And so when you put everything that you have into money
and making a living, you will be so,
we talk about vanity of all vanities,
emptiness, emptiness, that's what we,
vanity is emptiness.
Focusing so much on money and making a living is so empty.
You will never be happy.
That's why some of the richest people in the world,
like we say it all the time, are the most miserable.
And accumulating all of these things,
I heard it said before that it's like,
when you're in high school, you're stressed out
because you just can't wait to graduate.
And then when you graduate and you're in college,
you just can't wait to get through college
because you can't wait to graduate.
And then when you're done with college,
you're so stressed out because you need a job.
And then when you have that job,
you're stressed out because you need a promotion.
Do you understand the toxic cycle
that happens with anything in life?
That's why putting your identity in anything
other than Jesus is absolutely, it's a bottomless pit.
It is sand instead of a solid ground
to place your identity in.
We need a rock to put our identity in and to put value in
and to put all of what we have, all of our love, all of our focus must go in Jesus. It's the only
thing that can't be taken away from us. Our career will be to Ken and most likely if you make an idol
of it, God forbid, will be taken away because either God will do it or the devil will do it
because the devil will know that it'll destroy you. God will probably do it because he loves you
and he wants to strip you of all of that.
Put your identity and your looks.
We're all gonna get old one day.
No, don't let yourself go.
Yes, work out, take care of yourself.
God, I know, I literally used to say it all the time.
I would be like, I'm getting cute for Jesus on a Sunday.
And I know that's a little silly, but it's true.
God wants us to show up.
It literally says in the Bible that when you're fasting,
wash your face and get yourself and put yourself together
because that matters to God.
Can I please read just out of Genesis chapter two
really quick?
It's very obvious that God is a creative God
and he loves his creation.
And he didn't just build, he didn't just create one type
of tree, he created many different types of trees. Not just one flower, so many different types of
flowers. He literally has planted all these beautiful plants and trees and all of these
things throughout the earth so that we can look at, you look at the sunset, God loves beauty. He
wouldn't have made things as beautiful as he did if he didn't care
about it. Then the Lord God planted a garden in Eden in the east and there he placed the man he
had made. The Lord God made all sorts of trees grow up from the ground. Trees that were beautiful
and that produced delicious fruit. So before he even utilized and focused on what the tree would
be used for,
he focused on the aesthetic.
This is his temple.
This is the place in which the Holy Spirit dwells.
What we put in it is very important.
And then the way we take care of the outside
is just as important to God, I believe.
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Happy dwelling.
Look at people who've made it to the top,
and what do they do when they make it to the top?
They're not happy. They fall. They go to addiction.
They're still not fulfilled.
That's what I mean. The success,
it means nothing.
It means nothing.
And that's why we're living in a world where everyone's depressed.
Everyone's broken. No one's happy.
Everyone's getting divorces because we're all looking for the next best thing.
We're living in such a corrupt, dysfunctional world.
And it's sad because if you only knew what is true happiness,
we would live in such a fruitful world.
It means nothing if you don't have Jesus.
Nothing means anything if you don't have Jesus.
We'll give you guys a little bit of an inside look
to our life in LA.
LA is an accumulation of basically
the most beautiful people in every city of America.
The most beautiful people who are obviously
all a little bit narcissistic
because they think they're stars.
Everybody comes out to LA, they're the best of their town,
so it's just that's why everybody here is so beautiful
because the best of the best come here
and you look around and this place is, like we've said,
modern day Babylon where it's absolutely
empty, vapid. You go out and you meet people and I don't mean this as an insult whatsoever
but most of these people obviously aren't believers. Most of these people are not God's
focused or Christ conscious. Like they only care about this and this and this and the
things that they can get and social climbing and and this and the things that they can get
and social climbing and doing all of these things
and they are so miserable.
When Ari and I go out sometimes,
which is like barely ever.
We're exhausted.
When we go out, we're looking at people like,
we're just trying to connect.
Ari and I look very intense probably to other people
because we look at people and we're,
I'm looking for what's in there
and we're trying to connect on a soul level and it takes people back all the time because they're
like, what is this? Like I, nobody has these conversations, nobody cares, everyone's talking
about what they do for work and how many followers they have and Ari and I are like, so like, what do
you think about God? Like what is your concept of God? And it's, it's so alarming to people
because they care, they're prioritizing the wrong things.
I know. They're broken. And the first thing that they ask you when we go out, so what
do you do? They're just, it's, it's, we're living in a really lost city. It's a lost
world right now.
It's a lost world.
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I know, I know it's really difficult for all of us, um, comparison, social media.
I heard somebody say something along the lines of like when men meet each other, the second
that they meet, the first thing they do within the five seconds is they size each other up
to say would I be able to take this guy in a fight. So men have this comparison.
They all have their Rolexes and their cars and all these things and they just
want to be better than the next dude. I have the bigger house, I have the hotter
wife, I have like blah blah blah whatever and so they're always comparing each
other to each other, always competing. Women are pitted against one another
from the beginning of time. That's why you and I are so unbelievably passionate about when we meet women,
we embrace them and we're like, we are not against each other.
We are together.
And that's why beautiful women don't intimidate us because we know that their
beauty doesn't take away from ours.
And there's this proverb that talks about 2 Corinthians 10, 12 says,
but they're measuring themselves by themselves
and comparing themselves among themselves,
but are not wise.
So it says that you're comparing yourself to others
is useless and can lead to feelings
of low self-esteem and loneliness.
Oh yeah.
What we all need to do, honestly,
the best thing I did, the secret to it all,
stop thinking so much about yourself. Pre all, stop thinking so much about yourself.
Preach.
Stop thinking so much about yourself.
Of course we're gonna be so worried.
I was so worried and fixated
because I'm looking at myself and what, no one cares.
Yeah.
The truth of it is, is no one really cares.
Everyone is in their own head.
They're not judging you, they're judging themselves.
It's so true, that's such a good point.
We don't have to be so, stop being so self-focused on yourself.
I love the scripture in 1 Corinthians 10 verse 24,
no one should seek their own good, but the good of others.
When you stop worrying so much about yourself and take the focus off and
focus on others, watch how good you'll feel. It's freedom. Yeah. And also, what are you
guys doing with your money? The people that are working really hard and you're really
successful. What are you doing with all your money? Make sure you're doing something good
with it. You want to feel good and take the vanity off. Start doing something good with your money,
meaning help other people, be generous.
Help your family that are in need.
You know, do something good with the money
and the hard work that you are doing.
That's such a great point.
I just feel like I had a revelation that the number,
if you're struggling with vanity,
the number one way is to sacrificially put yourself out there
for other people, force
yourself to take the focus.
A life of self-forgetfulness is a life of absolute freedom.
And so if you're struggling with vanity, one, pray about it, bring it to God, He will handle
it.
Be in your word, do all the things that you know you need to do to develop intimacy with
God that will combat so much of it.
But practical steps that you can take is actively being like, yes, I could focus on myself,
but let me go and do things for other people,
and you'll naturally stop thinking about yourself so much.
It is such freedom.
Do you have any other tips
that people could do for vanity?
Do you know what I think it is with me and you
that helps so much?
What?
One, purity makes the biggest difference.
If you, I mean, as women and as men,
if you're not focused on being attractive,
most of the time we're attractive for two reasons.
We wanna be attractive to compete with other women.
We wanna be attractive so men find us attractive.
That's the only reason why you are like ever vain.
That's the only reason why you show up in a room like that
is because you want other women to think you're beautiful
and other men to desire you.
Once we let that part of us die
and we entered into a season of total singleness,
and when I say singleness, you guys,
I mean like personally, I have actively, honestly,
had to even limit my male friendships
because the truth is even male friendships
can feed a part of you that
wants male attention. God has taken me through a season where he's completely left me dry
of any sort of validation or attention from men and it's stripped me of my vanity. I don't care
about the way that I look because I'm not proving myself to men. And so I think that that's a really great thing that we can all try to do is enter into
a season of being like, I'm going to actively not talk to any guys.
I'm going to actively not let that, not let men feed that part of me.
And it's changed my life.
Can I be honest?
It's, it's, I think I'm so glad you said that because when we,
that's when we were, that's when the vanity
just completely was stripped.
Because we were stripped.
Because all we knew was our lust.
Because vanity and lust go hand in hand.
What's vanity?
Trying to be sexy, trying to please others,
trying to dress a certain way,
trying to do things to make people want you, right?
As soon as that's stripped away,
you're left with a pure heart.
Pure.
And you don't need that anymore.
What you're left with is the things that actually matter,
kindness, goodness, gentleness, compassion, wisdom,
intelligence.
People that are in school, in middle school,
in high school, please, for the love of God,
I was so fixated on the way I looked because I was just,
it was crazy. I couldn't even focus in school. Do you understand?
Please, pay attention, learn. If I could do one thing different,
it would have been that I listened in school and I learned.
Like, please, don't worry about the boys
and trying to compare yourselves
and trying to look good for this one in school.
Pay attention.
It's going to pay off in the long run.
Truly, and also if you are in middle school or high school,
I want you to know that these years are so important.
They're so informative.
And everything that feels like such a massive deal in your life right now in five years is not going to
matter. The people around you, you're not even going to remember their names. So
you're sitting there robbing yourself of the ability to learn and to gain and to
and to have and to be full filled in all of these different ways in school and by
your parents, but you're robbing yourself of the ability because you're focused on people and things that inevitably
won't matter in the future.
It's not going to matter.
And just like Ari, I would go back and I would just stay in school.
I was so busy with boys.
I was so busy focused on the wrong things.
I don't even know where Oregon is on the map. I don't know where Oregon is on the wrong things. I don't even know where Oregon is. I don't know where
Oregon is on the map. I missed that class. Show me the 50. Show me a map of the
United States and I don't know where the states are. I swear on my life. I don't know where it is either.
Portland? I thought there were elephants in the Bahamas. There's not?
No, but please guys, I'm not kidding. I have such a desire to just like hold you guys' hand
that are young people because I was so worried
about what this one thought of me and what this one,
because I didn't feel good inside
and if I don't even know these people anymore,
it doesn't matter. I know, I know, the boys don't matter if I don't even know these people anymore, it doesn't matter.
I know, I know.
The boys don't matter.
I'm sorry to tell you,
you're probably not gonna marry the guy from middle school.
You might, or if you live in Weymouth, Massachusetts.
You might, you might.
And so I'm not ruling it out,
but for the most part, these things won't matter.
And what matters is your heart and your integrity
and your character and becoming as much like Jesus
as humanly possible
and who better to learn from and take a page out of their book is our Jesus, the only one who came
like Ari has said so many times, could have come as a king, came as a servant, so unbelievably humble.
God opposes the proud and he gives grace to the humble and so humble yourself down, not to make yourself small, not to never put a care into your looks again, but to simply make God the biggest
part of your life, the most priority. That make yourself so Christ conscious
that your your eyes are just fixated on Him and we're focused on Him all day and
then you'll realize, whoa I haven't even thought about myself. Yeah. But you can
still get ready in the morning. And when you're with a group
and you're feeling like you're being judged
or you're comparing yourself
or you're having these low moments,
just look up and say, no, you love me.
It's all good.
You love me.
I know who I am.
I am lovable.
I am good.
I am your daughter.
I am your son.
I swear.
I started doing that, speaking it out loud,
and it automatically goes away, and I feel better.
Because it's, you know, I'll just say one more thing.
When I lost the people that were really close to me,
and I had to, I watched them in the casket,
and I saw their body, and I just,
things change when somebody passes away,
and you can see them on the other side and you're like
Wow, you see this person and they're gone and everything they had the cars
Yeah, all the other clothes they had everything they were trying to do. It's gone
Yeah, and you look and it's just all the people that loved them. So that's what matters
It's them and your people who were you there for how much did you love? That's all what matters. It's them and your people. Who were you there for?
How much did you love?
That's all that matters.
It's so true.
Yeah, so Ari and I also wanted to do an updated modesty
for the love of all things holy.
Please don't watch our other modesty video.
It was very early on.
We were responding to the outpouring of criticism
that we were receiving.
You guys were so right.
You were so right.
What did we say?
I don't remember.
Nothing, we were just like kind of being like,
you know, like, yeah, honor God with your body.
We were just like making excuses and we were very clear.
I didn't know what we were saying.
No we didn't, sorry, we'll cut that out.
We were very clearly making excuses.
God was working, but we were resistant.
And that's the truth.
Sometimes when God is sanctifying you,
there's gonna be a resistance to it at first
because it's all you know.
And literally it's the spirit and the flesh
that are at war with themselves.
And that's why you also have to give people grace
because even if you wanna do the right thing,
sometimes your flesh is like fighting against it.
And I think we were kind of fighting against it.
We were still making excuses.
We were still justifying. and we want to stand here today
to let you guys know that modesty is literally
one of the most important things to us in our faith journey.
It is so incredibly important to me.
Showing my body, coming from someone who used to wear
some of the most insane outfits,
showing my body genuinely makes me so uncomfortable.
I don't want anyone seeing that.
I don't want anybody knowing that.
I don't want anybody thinking thoughts of me.
I don't want anybody,
I don't wanna make truly my brother stumble.
I don't want to put myself in a position
that makes somebody's pure heart start having these thoughts.
I hate the idea of it.
And so I have taken it so seriously
that everything I post, everything,
and I've made mistakes, and even in feeling this way
and having these convictions,
things have still fell through the cracks,
and I've felt extremely guilty and felt bad about it,
but I am fully in support of total modesty and yes that
might look different for everybody, but I no longer walk the line of immodesty
and it's not okay to me and it's really and so if you ever see me wearing
something or posting something it's the devil and I need an exorcism. Is there
anything you still struggle with, with modesty?
Yeah, I mean there are some times where
maybe I'll try something on in the store
and I'll be like, I love the way this looks.
And I'll have a moment of being like,
I wish I could wear this.
Sometimes, rarely,
because that's not my heart posture anymore,
because now I'm like, I don't want to wear that
because I don't want anybody to see me in that. But there are sometimes, of course, where I'm like, I don't want to wear that because I don't want anybody to see me in that.
But there are sometimes of course where I'm like,
oh, I have a moment where my flesh is like,
I love the way that this dress looks,
or I love this two piece friggin' top and skirt.
And it's like, I don't care,
I'm not gonna dress like that.
How do you feel about Modesty?
Where are you at with it?
I think I had a lot of pride when we first started
because I always loved fashion
and I always thought that I looked pretty good.
And so I had a little bit of an attitude.
I'm not gonna lie.
I was like, I don't know what you guys are talking about.
I'm wearing my Reformation dresses
and if it has a slit in it and you guys don't like it,
I don't know what to tell you.
And so I really struggled with it.
I was like, I actually feel bad for Christians
that have to deal with these people
because they're so annoying.
Because I am fashionable and I'm cool.
And I am classy.
But no, so it's been definitely a journey with me
because sometimes I have taken a video
and they're like, wait, what are you wearing?
And I'm like, wait, what?
So it's like, I'm learning.
And I think I'm still learning with the bathing suits,
honestly, that's me being completely honest.
No, we haven't even talked,
what are we wearing this summer?
I'm not going to the beach.
I'm like, I'm wearing a freaking summer? I'm not going to the beach.
I'm wearing a freaking diaper, I'm not dealing with this. I was Googling some modest bikinis
and they're pretty, I don't know how my body's
gonna look in those.
So I do struggle with them.
Yeah, that's a struggle for me.
And then even some things like I took a video, I think we went to a premiere,
and they had told me to look over your shoulder.
And so I looked over my shoulder and I got mauled.
I mean, they were saying I'm showing off my butt
and all this stuff, and I really wasn't.
I was just looking over my shoulder.
And so that's been, that was a lot.
And so I'm trying to navigate it and just,
yeah, it's been a journey.
It's a journey.
It's a journey, but I,
for me, like how I used to dress,
I would dress really classy,
but there would always have to be
a little bit of sexy in it, you know?
And like we did talk about this in one of the Modesty episodes
We have different chest sizes and so it's hard for me
We absolutely have different chest sizes
Yep, everybody knows
I can wear whatever I listen I can wear literally any shirt that I want and I'm modest
You better wear a trash bag as a shirt
Put it on and I look like it's just crazy
So it's hard for me to find clothes like it's that are so that's why you see me
I got turtlenecks on all the time, but um it's beautiful. I love, there's nothing more beautiful than feeling
conservative and just beautiful. Do you understand how good I feel? Don't tell me that God's not
real. Don't tell me if you would have told me, Psalm 37, delight in the Lord and He will give
you the desires of your heart. I delight in the Lord. I love him so much, he is my world, I'm in love with him and he
is my main focus and the only thing that I delight in and he has given me the desires
of my heart.
I don't want anybody looking at my body.
I love wearing things that don't show off my body.
My mom calls me a nun.
My mom is like, why are you dressing like that?
It's beautiful though.
I love it.
And when I look at a woman who's dressed so classy,
they just look so, it's a whole other level of beauty to me.
100% and I look at them and I'm like, wow,
I wonder if she's smart, I wonder if she's kind,
I wonder what's in here, you know what I mean?
It just leaves so much more room to focus
on the things that actually matter.
And you attract different people too.
You attract better people.
I have not had one ex-convict in my DMs
since I cleaned my act up.
But I love the ex-convicts though, no shade, I love you.
She got a lot of letters from prison mates,
I'm just kidding.
But I wanna say give people grace.
They're learning, they're growing,
and some people simply don't know,
and we were two of them,
two of those girls I didn't know.
If you see me though acting up, call me out.
I will be anxious, but tell me.
I might have a little bit of an attitude.
I will, because I love fashion,
and so don't try to tell me what to wear.
Aren't I like that?
That was my clothes.
I will submit, I will submit.
What do we do when somebody says something
about our pictures?
You freak out.
I'm like, no, I like, I get an attitude.
You're so good about it.
I am.
Because I love fashion.
I always have been a fashion girl. I'm like,
what? I know. You know? I don't know. No, it's just, it's hard. It's, it's, it's hard.
And we're all working it out. We work out our salvation. We work out our modesty. We
work everything out. And it's hard sometimes when it's, when the position that we're in
and it's like, did God say, is God telling me this?
Am I listening to all the other voices?
But I do think that it is very helpful to have,
you know, some people to help us keep us on track,
and that's kind of what you sign up for
when you wanna go out and lead and be in public.
So it's just, you're like, I'm gonna have an attitude.
I just don't want you guys to feel, girls,
I don't want you to feel like you have to show your chest,
like you have to wear a small dress,
like you have to dress a certain way
and be sexy for a man to look at you.
Because I promise you, you're only gonna attract
the wrong kinds of men.
That's absolutely right.
So I really, I want you guys to listen to us.
And modesty is so important and it really will change your life.
It will change the people in your life.
And if you are single and you're looking for someone dressing
appropriately, the photos, the photos, the photos, the photos,
please, I can't the photos, please.
I can't believe, it's okay, I give myself so much grace
for the photos I used to post.
I used to be into social media and be an influencer.
I was looking at my archive photos last week
and I was like, man, my change.
But, you know, those things are out there forever.
I want you guys to think about every single photo
you put out there, really.
Your Instagram, unfortunately now, it's like our resume.
So be careful what you post.
And just, yeah.
And even for men, what do you think for men for modesty?
Do you have anything for men?
Guys, please.
Come on, the men need to hear. Yeah, no. Modesty for you guys, it's a heart posture as well. I don't think you guys are wearing skanky bikinis, but you know, gym picks,
shirt picks, it's just the intention behind what you're doing. Why are you doing it? Why,
who do you want to see this and what do you want? What reaction are you trying to elicit from them?
It all matters and it all starts in the heart and like just be very honest with yourself and it, why, who do you want to see this and what do you want, what reaction are you trying to elicit from them.
It all matters and it all starts in the heart and like just be very honest with yourself
and that's between you and God.
So just ask yourself, why am I posting this?
Why am I posting a thirst trap?
What's the point?
You know what I mean?
There's much more valuable things that you could be putting out into the world.
Thank you.
Yeah, I think you said it good.
I love you guys so much and thank you for joining us in another heartfelt,
bleated out conversation. Thank you for the grace you've given us.
Just thank you for everything you've done for us.
We love you guys more than anything in the world and we're so happy to be on this journey with you truly.
Thank you guys so much. Thank you for all the grace. We love you.
Thank you for growing with us.
We love you. May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May he make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you.
May he turn his face towards you and give you peace.
Love you.
Love you.
Thanks for watching!