Girls Gone Canon Cast - ASOIAF Episode 30 - ASOS Sansa Stark II/III

Episode Date: December 7, 2018

A dress that seemed to be a gift for Sansa comes at a high price. Intro by Anton Langhage Eliana's twitter: https://twitter.com/arhythmetric Eliana's reddit account: https://www.reddit.com/user/glass_table_girl Eliana's blog: https://themanyfacedblog.wordpress.com/  Chloe's twitter: https://twitter.com/liesandarbor   https://liesandarbor.wordpress.com/2018/12/04/sansas-psychological-superpower/

Hello and welcome to Girls Gone Canon, episode 30, Sansa, A Storm of Swords 2 and 3. I am one of your hosts, Chloe. You can find me on the internet as at Liza Narber. And I'm another one of your hosts, Aliana. And you can find me as GlassTableGirl on the A Song of Ice and Fire subreddit and the Mason Weekly Podcast and as AeroMetric on Twitter. All right, you guys, we're back. We're back. We're in Sansa. We're in A Storm of Swords.

I feel like last week was a really weird week. I feel like it's been real quiet on the podcast front you know we had thanksgiving we had the week before we had it all's craziness you know so it's everyone absorbing fire and blood yeah it is it's a slow burn get it oh my god podcast release you're the reason i drink well we've got a lot to get into in this podcast these are like some really good episodes there's some good chapters they're just they're solid they're solid i'm so excited as we were just talking about like these chapters go together so well they were made for each other literally yeah it's a major punch in the stomach too if you're a reader like i am you'll just be holding the book going oh this is awful i have to read more yeah it's very painful but before we get into that we have some emails and tweets of note yeah we got a few really good

tweets from last week and this week about the podcast, about some thoughts in the community. And we also got a really cool email I wanted to highlight from our really good friend Emma. Emma said, Hi, Chloe and Eliana. Finally caught up on the podcast and your comments about Sansa and Arya lacking companions in King's Landing was a point I'd never really thought about before. It led me to think, would things have been different if Kat had helped while they prepared to head south rather than grieving for Bran? Absolutely. After all, Kat's savvy.

She's a Southern politician. She's never done anything wrong ever. Trademark. Haha, shout out to the Not A Gas Boys. So I think she'd have been more likely to press for the sort of female companionship the Tyrell ladies share. Having said that, we don't really see Kat doing that at Winterfell with the girls, in contrast to the hands-on approach of Olenna and probably Allery as well.

Moreover, Kat lost her mom relatively young and doesn't have that female companionship beyond her sister, meaning she might not have had the same framework of politics. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on how her being incapacitated during prep to go south may have affected the Stark girls and the people in King's Landing generally. Best wishes, Emma, Archmaester Emma, if you're not following her on Twitter. She also has a blog. It's redmiceatplay.wordpress.com. She's got some really great thoughts there. mice at play.wordpress.com she's got some really great thoughts there you know it is something i think about time and time again that if cat had gone with them if cat had been able to prepare

them if bran wasn't you know comatose uh if she hadn't gotten a letter in a secret language from her sister i mean the mental facilities that cat has even as we get into this book, In a Storm of Swords, they're kind of impressive. Like, they're astoundingly impressive with everything she's been through. Oh, absolutely. I say this every now and then, but Kat is in many ways the thread, both narratively and politically, that holds A Clash of Kings together. She treats, right, with two kings. She's the one who's trusted and sent to treat with both Renly and Stannis and is the one who puts them in their place. But as for this putting together female companions,

I don't really know. That one I haven't thought about as much, partially because I think that Emma makes a good point that Kat having lost her mother at a relatively young age is part of it. The one thing I would think with that, that really lends to this, is that Kat doesn't know the Northern people like she knows the Southern. Ned knows the Northern people like she knows the southern uh ned knows the northern people ned knows the families i don't think that cat would necessarily know to say oh well this person

or a little you know wyla manderly and winifred manderly they could be girls to hang out with sansa but at the same time she might i'm not saying she doesn't but she just it might not be something she thinks of because it's not her people it's not her saying you know like oh little that little blackwood girl down the lane or yeah but it is interesting because we do see that while they don't set it up for the girls in winterfell after the girls leave and head to king's Landing, Bran is surrounded with his own sort of mini court in that way with like, I mean, they suck, the Freys, Big Walder and Little Walder. And then of course, the Reeds come up and join him. Yay!

The best courtiers. Meera Reed would have been, would have made sense as a courtier and especially, you know, as a companion to Arya. Yeah, absolutely. been would have made sense as a career and especially you know as a companion to aria yeah absolutely i mean that's the thing if you had brought those girls to king's landing with a retinue of ladies i mean marjorie was set up for love right and we we're going to talk about that a lot more as we go through this book but marjorie is set up for love purposefully by her parents who are politically looking for advantages to take for her. They're looking for, you know, starving the city so that they can get the Tyrells in and say, hey, here's the bountiful harvest.

Here's a cornucopia of food, homie. Come on in. But guess what? We want to be queens and kings like that's what we want. We want our family to succeed. And that's their ambition. That's what they go for. It's it's not what ned was looking for ned

showed up like we talked about hedgehog style uh just looking to be protective of himself of his secrets of his family and he wasn't looking past survival which is what the tyrells do they don't look to survive they look to thrive yeah and, too, what extent it is like a very stark thing to not do that because granted, they're all related to each other. But the Mormont women have one another and they have that group. So I don't know if it's we can say it's just because they're northern that they don't do that. we can say it's just because they're northern that they don't do that yeah i definitely think it's a good point to make that like real estate wise they aren't also every like i said during our fire and blood episode that patrons got to hear or during blast ups of the north is spacious dude like it is it's expansive you don't just get to go down the lane next door and hang out with

the high towers you know i mean they're not next to each other either. I'm not saying they are, but it's still it's farther out even from that. You know, the next girl close to Sansa was probably Beth Castle. Like that's probably the closest young girl besides Jane Poole. If the maps aren't super inaccurate, which they are, because George is patterning them off of historical maps, which are inaccurate. The north is like

almost the entire size of the rest of the other six kingdoms. So, yeah, as you said, it's very spacious, but also maybe Ned just wasn't into that, and they'd already made some concessions right by allowing

Sansa and Arya to be educated by a septa that's not that's not traditional I wonder how that argument went with Kat I would love to hear that argument I wonder if anyone's read like written fanfic about it or no I'm not a big fanfic person but I'm like what if how did that fight go I bet it was good what if it's not a fight what if it's just like yeah sure she can learn these things i guess yeah sure whatever it's fine we did get a couple other really cool ideas we got slang from our buddy pat pat sponagle spinagle i'm trying he corrected us on pronunciation and i forgot it you will say it as we say it. Hey, I think I was right. Didn't you say I was right? I think he said I was right.

I forgot. How do you say it? Yeah, I think it's Pat Spanagle. Spanagle? Yeah, because I think I keep saying Spanogle. Spanogle. I feel like I get my last name made fun of a lot. So poor Pat. He's probably heard them all. I get my last name made fun of a lot, so. Poor Pat. He's probably heard them all. Anyway, so Pat says, this actually came a few weeks ago, but it's perfectly apt here.

It's actually perfectly apt later on in Storm as well. But he says, when Dontos gave Sansa the hairnet, I realized what advanced planning Littlefinger was doing on setting things up to bump off Joffrey. Since this happened before Sansa's meeting with Lady Olenna, confirming that Joffrey was a bad egg. So a tentative plan to kill Joffrey was in motion early on, possibly when Littlefinger was negotiating with the Tyrells after Stannis killed Renly. Yeah, it's something, honestly, I feel like maybe the show influenced me to realize it. Believe it or not. That's's silly i think the first time so i watched this after i had read the books for the first time i watched this episode because i read the books between season two and three same oh twins and so like in the show not to go show fan

on y'all i'm not and uh diana rigg when she's playing olena tyrell she you know when she's sitting there waiting for they're all leaning in and the tension's building for sansa to tell them you know like what's wrong with joffrey and sans is like this is my dramatic moment and sophie turns off he's a monster and olena tyrell just is like well that's too bad and that's when i was like oh they knew the whole time they were like yeah we had a feeling so we had this planned you know and then after I saw it when it was on season three I had just read the books for the first time and you know it just doesn't sink in the first time you need like 800 times until you catch little minuscule details but that was a joke-ish. And so after that, I was like, oh, I get it. Thanks, Diana Rigg.

So acting does convey some things, I suppose. But I did, it took me a little bit too, but man, they're sneaky. They're sneaky little bitches, man. Yeah, I didn't really thought about Littlefinger giving the hairnet that early. But I do think that it does seem clear on rereads that the Tyrells had an inkling. And Littlefinger was the one to go talk to those inkling Tyrells. I think he's one of them. They might've heard it from other sources,

but they just wanted confirmation from Sansa of all people. They needed one more piece of evidence to be sure that they were gonna kill off the 13-year-old so that they could get to the more pliable 9-year-old. Yeah, in a way, she still was the end of Joffrey one way or another. I mean, she had a hand in that. Yeah, exactly. Which only seems right. Absolutely, he deserved it. It's what he deserves. Absolutely. He deserved it. It's what he deserves.

And finally, this is not an email or tweet of note, but it is of note to us. You guys, if we had milk cartons, we would have this woman's face all over it because Eliana is looking

for her new best friend. She wants to start a podcast with an abandoned newborn bag. No, I'm just kidding. I love this girl, too. She was really great. You spoke with her more than I did. looking for her new best friend she wants to start a podcast with an abandoned we're not gonna start no i'm just kidding i love i love this girl too she was really great you spoke with her more than i did probably because i showed up late yeah we hung out at the uh bar together so at jersey city fire and blood eliana and i met the love of our lives meg she listens to podcasts i swear i keep swearing i've seen her on twitter but we can't find her anywhere. Yeah, she's like Cinderella, you know.

She's Sansa running away during the wedding. One of us is dead. You or I. One of us is dead. It's me. The other is Cersei screaming. I'm Cersei screaming. You're Cersei. I'm Chloe. Wait, I'm Chloe. And I'm Eliana,

your other host, so. Oh my god. You guys, we're looking for Meg. Meg, if you're listening to this, you'll know which Meg you are. We talked about the crimes at Grindelwald. Please contact us. Yeah, it was really funny because

me, Joe Magician, and poor Quentin and Bruna B. Fish were all sitting at the tables that we had secured. And Meg came over and said hi to us. And she's like, yeah, my boyfriend's here. I don't know where he went, whatever. And I just looked at her and I was like, it's probably better that way. Just leave him.

Just come hang out with me. And Emmett just looked at me. And Joe Magician looks at me. He goes, that's a take. And I was like, what? All men are garbage. Let me love Meg. Exactly. All men are dantos so this is our platform and we can use it to try and find our new friends so you know yeah we've heard some uh some inklings that maybe not everybody loves

our beginning of our episodes and that's fine they're not for you then just skip ahead yeah exactly yeah you have the power, the technology. Literally the technology. Literally there are other podcasts. Anyways, and of course, you guys, we're just going to jump in. We've been just bullshitting and rambling for too long, so let's get into our

lightning round. I know you missed it. We got some pretty hot summaries for you today of what we missed between Sansa 1 in A Storm of Swords and Sansa 2. Jon 1. Jon plays his part in swearing loyalty to the king beyond the wall. Daenerys 1. Jorah overreaches his station on more than one count, and Arshtan is not who he seems to be.

Daenerys learns more about her brother Rhaegar before they change their course from Pentos. Bran won. Bran and his company search for the three-eyed crow, and Bran learns to open his own third eye at will. Davos too. Davos learns one of his sons survived the Blackwater, Devon, and many have deserted or been fried from Stannis' party. Davos plots to kill Melisandre, and once ashore, the mainland is taken into custody by Axel Florent. Jaime 2. Still traveling with Brienne and Cleos, Jaime reminisces on his early Kingsguard days while staying at the inn of the Kneeling Man. Tyrion 2. Tyrion finds many of his changes at court being undone by the stroke of Tywin's quill

and unsuccessfully attempts to part ways with Shae. Arya too. Arya, Gendry, and Huntpie make new and old acquaintances on the road. This time we meet the Brotherhood without Banners and get to see Harwin. Oh my god, I love this. I love the end of that chapter.

Man, i can't wait till those chapters aria especially in storm of swords aria chapters are lit yeah i cry at the end of that i cry i cry we'll give a shout out to phil terzik one of our followers he has been arguing with us about a storm of swords not arguing, just like lightly conversing. And I respect a storm of swords, Bill. Anyways, Catalin 2. Rob lets his mom off the hook. Because he got secret married to some chick who he didn't want to dishonor, like his dad. He's also mean to my son, Edmure, in this chapter, by the way.

His people were afraid. They were. John 2. Giants and mammoths and wildlings, oh my. Ygritte lays herself on the line as insurance for Jon's loyalty. Also, they bang. Wait, wait, Ygritte lays herself on the line because Jon lays her on the line. Oh damn.

You know what I mean. This brings us to Sansa Stark, A Storm of Swords 2, in which Sansa says yes to the dress. Sansa is measured for a new dress in her chambers, and the tailor tells her it's gonna be magnificent. It's got all the fixings.

It's got mirrish lace and satin linings. Lace is, like, super fancy. Like, even, it didn't exist before around 1500 AD, give or take in our history. Originally, it was cut work. It wasn't needlework. It was done by like nuns for decorating the altar and for prelate robes. The nuns would teach their pupils at the convents, and then it would pass down slowly to the common folk until lace

became like a roaring big industry. Our first machine-made lace started in the 1700s. So, of course, while this is all fiction, it's not actually a real time. It's important to think on how lace isn't something easy or cheap to have. And of course, in A Song of Ice and Fire, we learned this particular lace is imported from Myr, which Myr is kind of considered the most learned city of the free cities. It's said to be the most advanced technologically, but most exported goods from the free cities are things like fabrics and even spices. Finished goods, right? It's why we see cities like King's Landing, Lannisport, and Old Town

very profitable and fashionable. And it's also where we see trade easily destroyed by excessive tariffs per people like Aerys or Maegor. And look at places like Duskendale, White Harbor, Planky Town, Gold Town. They're not the big contenders for top trade in the realm, right? You see kind of how people fashion themselves with trade for sure and it's gonna play a role the tailor tells sansa that the queen regent in fact herself commanded that the dress be made for her and then the tailor tells sansa that you're a woman now and therefore should dress like it and it's true because sansa's flowering and she's prepubescent and she's grown like three inches which really that's the sign you know and she

started to fill out and also there was that time that she fucked up all of her dresses because she's like oh i have my period so i'm gonna try to burn my mattress and everything which like is a mood big mood the biggest of moods oh absolutely i just had this mood like a bit ago happens all the time so i get you sansa sansa then asks what color is the dress going to be but the woman tells her just just leave it it's fine this is fine leave the colors to me my lady you'll be pleased know you will. You shall have small clothes and hoes as well, kirtles and mantles and cloaks, and all else befitting a- a lovely young lady of noble birth. Befitting a- a- a- a bride, is what she's thinking. These aren't just things a noble young

lady would wear, it's stuff she would wear on her wedding night, right? And this woman's been instructed by the queen not to say anything. That stutter between uh, uh is exactly what gives that away. Yeah, you said this before the episode, but I was like, damn, she's right. Like this woman knew. She isn't telling Sansa. I mean, for the right money, she didn't. Sure. And that's why she's like, I'll knew she isn't telling Sansa I mean for the right money she didn't sure and that's why she's like I'll take care of the color but all this talk that like Cersei made about how Sansa should look like a woman I think it's to mask the horror of what they're doing because 13 is too young to be wedded and bedded for many but she's like I guess 12 here

and Eddard points out he's like oh they are too young to be wed and it's also pointed out again in Daenerys' chapters where she's 13 and Viserys is like are you sure they like her this young? it's not

super common only among the nobility is it not as weird but that's mostly because of their practice of using it for alliances. But if you're using your, like, nobility and rich people as, like, your measuring stick for what's normal, that's like if all of us were judged by the, whatever the Kardashians are doing. Or the president. This is not what normal people do this is not trump tower this is maegor's hold fast what's the difference and i actually discussed this on not a cast and the denarius to a game of thrones episode but among commoners in real history people who weren't nobility the usual age of marriage was higher like usually at least 16 somewhere between 18 and 22

16 though is the age of majority in west rose caitlin herself wasn't wedded until she was 18 and she's the epitome of like what it means to be doing your duty as a lady like older 16 or 18 is much more normal and the reason for that in real history especially among commoners is people tended to wait until later because turns out people needed to be older to know how to actually run a farm and a household before they wed and like had a family and even back then people understood that like whoa maybe if we force girls to get pregnant and have children too young maybe because their bodies are still very small and not fully developed it leads to higher maternal mortality rates and that would be a waste of resources if we just like have a kid kind of but like no person there to help feed it and we

put all this time and resources into making this one human who could do all these things and just let them die yeah like their property come on man like one dies what are you gonna do you just gonna replace her it's not even just property it's just like this person is supposed to theoretically make more people are not even that again like running a household or farm it's still like another person who can lend manpower on the farm and all of this is very uncouth which is why Cersei is saying we gotta make her look like a woman yeah and it also is hinting at like her budding womanhood in general I mean we've been watching it since the clash of kings not to be gross we don't want to watch it it just keeps happening in front of us I mean Sandor comments on it Cersei comments on it everyone comments on it

the queen I guess has pressed the woman to have all of her girls that she works with begin the work on the dress and set aside their current workload which is like kind of rude right like okay nobility like totally just cersei selfishness of just like fuck your whole like retinue of what you have to do like i'm more important than the queen but sansa of course thinks this dress is happening because of the tyrells she thinks maybe it's because of marjorie's kindness she thinks maybe olenna's kindness which arguably it does make sense sansa's time in king's landing has been utter hell and the tyrells have brightened her world up right and arguably it is because of them that this, like, changes, because

before this, it was insanity, right? Thinking that something different was gonna happen, it wasn't. Nothing different was happening. They deigned to scoop Sansa up, so of course this is what happens, that, you know, the Lannisters realize that the roses are on the prowl. They're

growing everywhere. Margaery's kindness had been unfailing, and her presence changed everything. Her ladies welcomed Sansa as well. It had been so long since she had enjoyed the company of other women, she had almost forgotten how pleasant it could be. Lady Leonette gave her lessons on the High Harb, and Lady Janna shared all the choice gossip. Mary Crane always had an amusing story, and little Lady Bulwer reminded her of Arya, though not so fierce. Sansa spends most of her days hanging out with the Tyrell clan. They eat lemon cakes and sing songs.

It's the perfect thing for her in King's Landing. It's like, finally, this is what it was supposed to be like. All the lies and beauty. Mega once told her that she and Alla played a kissing game, and Sansa immediately thinks on the Hound. Mega couldn't sing, but she was mad to be kissed. She and Alla played a kissing game sometimes, she confessed, but it wasn't the same as kissing a man, much less a king. Sansa wondered what Mega would think about kissing the hound, as she had. He had come to her in the night of the battle stinking of wine and blood. He kissed me and threatened to kill me and made me sing him a song. Wait a second. What? Sansa, that's a weird memory because we didn't read that before, did we, Eliana?

No, we did not. Sansa, wait. I didn't know that Sandor Clegane kissed you. Did you hear this? Did you hear about this? I've never heard about this. I've never seen this in my life. seen this in my life. Well, that's because this kiss was made up out of nowhere and did it happen? We don't know. But this is what we like to call the un-kissed nerds.

Airhorn! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pow! Pow! Pow! Yeah, so this is the official first start of the kiss that never happened or did it. We don't know because Sansa might have just been pushing some stuff down I mean George has said on several times that this moment so

whether it's in a so spanked Martin where he said that there's something there that he's playing with there's a really great fan video where uh these two people interviewing George said hey you know it's crazy like I love Jamieie there are all these girls that love hardcore villains like jamie and theon and sandor he responds oh yeah you know it's crazy when i get women writing into me of how much they love jamie lannister sandor clegane and he's like and they're even these fans they call themselves san san fans never heard of them and and he says you know uh and it's weird but i mean there's i've played with it in the books says george there's something there and he's also said the unkiss means that sansa's memory has definitely lapsed if you've paid attention we've

talked about the lion's paw theory before of where Sansa misremembers the sword, but actually it was Arya that misremembered the sword, and George kind of was prone to say, oh yeah, Sansa's memory lapse is interesting, so that's a thing we'll learn about. So sometimes I think maybe I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, George. Maybe you didn't really realize what the person meant. And Sansa didn't get it wrong Sansa knew what it was but Sansa does have a weird memory

thing here and I think it is a lot of projection a lot of displacement something we're going to go into in a bit yeah and it comes back actually she thinks about this supposed kiss that didn't happen again yep in the context of Fire and Blood because this is a thing that has

come out and it's not gonna go away ever and while i don't think that mega alia and eleanor are going the same way as these characters their friendship and them playing at these like kissing games etc kind of reminds me of sarah targaryen daughter of jaharis and allison and her friends a little bit interestingly enough we get a lot in this little passage about who's betrothed to who and who's courting who and who's got a crush on which night and they're certainly framed a lot this way as sarah's friends uh especially if you think about you know when sar Sarah was called to counsel and called on the carpet to say like oh I don't know what you're talking about but also yes I'm

a crazy liar oh and like all just like upset uh and when she admits everything that happened with their friends and that one of them got pregnant and all this craziness that happens in fire and blood you gotta read it if you haven't you guys that. That's very good. I wonder, in a way, if that's kind of like the Moontee with Pycelle, that he gets cut off several times in court when Cersei's like, yes, exactly, thank you, Pycelle, you got Margaery Moontee.

I wonder if maybe it is for one of these girls in their kissing games gone awry, maybe for Alla or Mega. Yeah, it's definitely possible. And they're certainly framed as super virginal. As I mentioned last episode, they're very much so framed as the maids of the Maiden Vault, you know, of Diana and Raina and Elena.

And of course, maybe Diana snuck out to go kiss some boys very hard. I don't know. We don't know. Maybe it was Aegon the Unworthy. It was. We know this because of bastards. But... Because there was a baby. Yeah, there was a bab.

A babby was formed, so... And then, of course, we have Mega, who is a mega bitch here. Boo! I gotta go. And she's like,

Oh, Sansa, you must have cried so much when joffrey put you aside he's so handsome sansa's like ya bitch you don't know how much that asshole made me cry sansa listens to the girls talk for a while and she thinks this really bittersweet cynical thought and I actually love this line it's one of my favorite A Storm of Swords quotes which there are so many good quotes in this book uh they are children Sansa thought they are silly little girls even Eleanor they've never seen a battle they've never seen a man die they know nothing their dreams were full of Sansa's stories, the way Hearst had been before Joffrey cut her father's head off.

Sansa pitied them. Sansa envied them. It's so good. I love it. That's such a great line. It's so like, you want character growth? If you want character growth, just read some Sansa chapters, you guys. That's character growth.

Your characters could never. Yeah, it's a very complicated emotion that's being shown there especially in those last two sentences um it's grappled with throughout these chapters too right with the idea of marrying willis and of course of the marriage that actually is to come that's completely grappled with and this is i think a feeling she comes back to every now and then where she feels that other people are children because she has unfortunately had to experience death of someone very close to her in that betrayal it's also somewhat a very like ned-ish thought something that eddard would think because sansa thinking that these girls are immature because she knows that war and death isn't a game it's how ned is always being like war is not something to be played at it's not just about wearing someone's favor

absolutely uh especially like the boys in the yard playing, it's the same idea. But Sansa thinks that Margaery is much different than these girls. She thinks that she's sweet and gentle, but sharp. You know, she has a bit of Olenna Tyrell in her. Sansa has been taken hawking with Margaery outside of the city, which is the first time Sansa gets to really leave the city in a very long time. She's feeling hopeful. Margaery tells her all about Willis and how he has the finest hawks. He loves hawking.

And I think it's interesting because hawking comes up very subtly in these stories. It comes up in like there's some stories about Eddard taking Rob hawking. There's Stannis and Robert. There's Patrick Malister in Theon's chapters and how he loves to hawk. And there's this line from Arya that I love. Once he even took Bran, but never Arya, even though she was older. Septimor Dayne said boar hunting was not for ladies, and Mother only promised that when she was older, she might have her own hawk.

She was older now, but if she had a hawk, she'd eat it. Arya in A Clash of Kings. And of course, there's this really cool tidbit in that bad show that we watch game of thrones uh where sansa goes to uh visit the crypt and you realize that there's a feather in liana's hand that robert had of course left for liana when he visited the crypts in season one, episode one of Game of Thrones. And that feather that Robert left there was a little, like, show-made-up thing about how Robert

and Liana would have gone hawking together possibly. Huh. That's what the feather's from. He left a feather from being on the road with Ned and leaves a feather before seeing Ned being on the road road leaving a feather for liana for the one activity they probably enjoyed together because hawking is a little bit of more

of a tomboy hobby believe it or not so it's interesting that sansa loves it so much uh but and then sansa in season five when she visits the crypts she holds the feather and looks at it and puts it back down just a really interesting little little mini connection there i'm also wondering how like tomboyish it is it right because marjorie is super into it but i think it is i mean it's hunting so is ria royce right the wife of damon and then she died hawking yes exactly just like luther tyrell yeah hawking is apparently surprisingly perilous dangerous everyone here's my theory liana stark dies from hawking hawking up blood yeah out of her vagina from john so marjorie then squeezes sansa's hand and calls her sister and of course being the sweet

girl that she is sansa's like how can i let my sister but a monster she's tearfully asked marjorie not to do it because she can't let her sister do that and i'm like yes this is what people do preach you do not let your girls date shitty men all right you sit down and you tell her honey you are a queen you deserve better you deserve a man who's going to cherish you and then he's going to tell you that he loves you or a woman but marjorie has her own aim in the dragon knight so that's not a problem right she has sir loris She is not worried about that whatsoever. But of course, Sansa thinks. Yet the more she thought about it all, the more she wondered. Joff might restrain himself for a few turns, perhaps as long as a year, but sooner or late he will show his claws. And when he does,

the realm might have a second Kingslayer and there would be war inside the city as the men of the lion and the men of the rose made the gutters run red and sans is not wrong about this but the tyrells totally have it covered as we've discussed the civil war inside the walls of the keep is still bubbling in current a song of Ice and Fire, and definitely has yet to come. Sansa then thinks about when she had a talk with Dantos about the possibility of her going to Highgarden, and Dantos is like, you can't. And the Tyrells are just Lannisters, but with roses. True.

And then he tells her that they only want her for her claim on the North. Interesting, Dantos. Where'd you hear that from? Hmm. Dantos. This is strangely lucid. Really curious, that's all. And then, of course, we get this lovely passage. But she had not forgotten his words, either. The air to winter fell, she would think, as she lay abed at night. It's your claim they mean to wed.

Sansa had grown up with three brothers. She never thought to have a claim, but with Bran and Rickon dead, it didn't matter. There's still Rob. He's a man grown now, and soon he'll wed and have a son. Anyway, Willis Tyrell will have Highgarden. What would he want with Winterfell? Sometimes she would whisper his name into her pillow just to hear the sound of it. Willis, Willis, Willis.

Willis was as good a name as Loras, she supposed. They even sounded the same, a little. What did it matter about his leg? Willis would be lord of Highgarden, and she would be his lady. She pictured the two of them sitting together in a garden with puppies in their laps or listening to a singer strum upon a lute while they floated down the mander on a pleasure barge. If I give him sons, he may come to love me. She would name them Eddard and Brandon and Rickon and raise them all to be as valiant as sir loris and to hate lannisters too in sansa's

dreams her children looked just like the brothers she had lost sometimes there was even a girl who looked like aria oh i need a moment you don't have to look at me right now i just need a second i got a little teary-eyed that was a little hard that's a that's a passage man like let's let's glaze over how fucking sad that one is whoa you feeling okay it's a little sad yeah i'm a little sad things in this chapter it's so sad because it's like it's this 12 13 year old girl convincing herself i can marry this 30 something year old man that I've never met. She's sitting there going, when I give him kids, maybe he'll love me like that's. That's sad. That's sad. And I love that last line. The whole the whole bit about the family,

of course, any startling paragraph is always worth shouting out and just stopping to smell the roses about. It reminds me a lot of some Arya lines, right? Like, Needle was Rob and Bran and Rickon, her mother and her father, even Sansa. That's exactly what that line is. That's like an exact mirror. Or, a thousand years ago, she had known a girl who loved lemon cakes.

Why are you breaking my heart? You want one more? Because I'll hurt you then, too. Just one more. Okay. Winterfell is burned and fallen, Arya reminded herself. Old Nan and Maester Luwin were both dead, most like.

And Sansa too. This is Sansa too. A storm of swords. Get out. But, yeah, both girls, they both think the other might be dead. And i also just want to call out this line you know there are people who say that sansa doesn't miss aria the way aria does but both of the girls do they do love each other and sansa thinks about aria at least three times in this

chapter yeah absolutely it's silly to even think anything like that they think about each other all the time they think about each other through a lot of their trials and tribulations. They're like the sun and the moon. They are like the sun and the moon. Very good one. It's almost like someone said that in a book. What? Almost like someone who spent a lot of time with the girls said that.

In a book? Have you ever read? Hey, have you read these books? They're the Song of Ice Song of Fire and Ice. Oh yeah, the Robert Frost poem. Oh, I love Robert Frost.

He's that author of the Stormbringer series. Just keep going. Alright. I really want to chat about this line willis willis willis willis was as good a name as loris she supposed they even sounded the same a little what did it matter about his leg willis would be lord of high garden and she would be lady. Sansa does this throughout her plot where she thinks about things and displaces the objective pain or truth of it and it's something we see from Game of Thrones and onward. She's kind of woken up from her Game of Thrones ones, right? You have

Joffrey at the Trident and Joffrey and Cersei condemning her wolf. She's come to terms with that. You have Cersei in general doing pretty much anything. And this book awakens a whole new batch of lies and falsehoods, but she takes a lot less time to figure it out. Margaery is my sister, she thinks. She finds out the next two chapters. No, Margaery is not, in fact, your sister. Willis will love me. I'll make him forget Winterfell. Of course, that's change when she marries someone who will never forget her claim, intent to take it or none. Whether it's Willis or Tyrion, her claim will always exist like a stain on her marriage bed. I'd also love to discuss how we see Sansa displace these emotions about people's appearances,

where a book ago, Sansa would be very concerned with someone's appearance as a 11 year old girl to the capital for the first time who's in love with knights and ladies in a song so you have tyrian's less than pleasing physique of course to a 12 year old girl in love with beautiful comely princes and songs and this is soft pod all in with Willis's leg, of course. Because Eliana, hear me for a second. Me? Yeah, you. Me? Yeah. Who could make themselves love

a beast? A crippled beast, right? Like a straight beast, a hound with a bum leg. Who could love a hound with a bad leg? Who could do that eliana just who i'm just saying who could do that you know who would love who would love an animal like a hound you have aria written on here what you have aria written on here oh my god no i didn't mean no one

anyways and i do want to point out that there's this line from the Tyrion chapter right before this, right, where he sits in on the small council meeting and Cersei gets told she has to marry Willis Tyrell. And of course, that's the cripple is what Tyrion says. And their father chilled him with a look. and their father chilled him with a look. Willis is heir to Highgarden and by all reports, a mild and courtly young man, fond of reading books and looking at the stars. He has a passion for breeding animals as well and owns the finest hounds, hawks, and horses

in the Seven Kingdoms. A perfect match, mused Tyrion. Cersei also has a passion for breeding. He pitied poor Willis Tyrell and did not know whether he wanted to laugh at his sister or weep for her. Also, I'm going to throw this out there. This is interesting in the context of what happens in the next chapter. Tywin being like, Willis is heir to Highgarden and is mild and courtly. I mean, I don't know that Tyrion's mild and courtly, but fond of reading and looking at stars.

He's describing his son here he's describing tyrian and tyrian wants to be that he wants to be that intelligent type right like that's who tyrian thinks he is too and his dad refuses to let him be that yeah he's like it's fine for willis tyrian wants to be found reading in his solar as we hear from Sansa, right? Like, poor Tyrion. I almost feel bad for him here. Almost. The irony here, though, of course, is that just a few chapters ago, Tyrion was smirking at Cersei being forced to marry Willis, but Sansa was swelling with pride that she was going to escape to somewhere that was not here.

Somewhere with Willis, whoever this man was and would be to her. Which gives a little bit of a tad bit of that creepy Stockholm Syndrome vibe, which obviously comes back with Baelish hardcore very soon. God, we have to get into all that. And it explains why Cersei ends up taking it out on Sansa very hard. Cersei's getting rid of her in a trashy way, right? But Cersei also is fucked into taking the fall for that

match not happening, so she gets matched with the cripple, which, as we know, Cersei would not love that. She doesn't. She's not very open to people, mostly, Cersei. That's true. She's just like, you can be whole-bodied, half-bodiedied quarter-bodied

i'd rather you not be a body is what cersei feels as long as it's her body yeah jamie ruins it going and getting his hand cut off apparently it was all his fault it's all his fault eliana apparently and then sansa remembers a nightmare she had where she marries Joffrey and then Joffrey turns into Ill and Payne. Nightmares are weird. It's all awful. I don't know which one's worse, Ill and Payne or Joffrey both. And then Sansa decides that she's going to light a candle to the mother and pray for Margaery. And then a candle to pray to the warrior for Loras.

But let me just ask. What a good girl. Sansa, who will girl. Sansa. Who will pray for Sansa? Me. I will pray for Sansa. I will be her champion. Light these candles for her.

I will light so many goddamn candles. Anyways, Sansa thinks- Set a mattress on fire for Sansa. I would set my mattress. Set your sa- Do it for her. Do it for her. Sansa. I would set my mattress. Set your set. Do it for her.

Do it for her. Sansa decides she's going to wear her new dress to the wedding ceremony at the Sept of Baelor. And she decides she'll wear an old gown to the feast as not to dirty the new one because she wants to take the new one to Highgarden to meet Willis to make him love her in this gown so he'll

spirit her away. Even if Dantos was right unit as winter felt he wants and not me he still may come to love me for myself sansa hugged herself tightly wondering how long it would be before the gown was ready she could scarcely wait to wear it sansa just wants to have like a kind of decently sorta happy-ish ending and play the role of the lady that she was raised to play the one that her mother before her played because the way Sansa sees it her mother also was wed for this kind of alliance and also for her claim they were just about to go into this war now but eventually her parents came to love each other for who they were.

And Sansa just wants that sort of nice, happy family for herself, too. We grew it. That Lioncat has about how, you know, we didn't just, we didn't get this. We grew it. Yeah. And she, too, wants to, growing strong this, you know? Don't all of us, though, in the end, aren't all humans? I mean, the biggest human

fact is that we want to love and be loved, you know? Unless you're Cersei. Do you want to be loved, Sansa? Yeah, and she asks for that and says, look at all these other suckers who want to be loved. Well, guess what? Cersei's gonna die

alone, unloved damn ho it's pretty hard it's what she gets it's what she deserves but you know what we deserve to jump into our lightning round for sansa 3 a storm of swords aria 3 aria is introduced to the brotherhood without banners samwell one Samwell becomes Samwell the Slayer, defeating an other across the fist. Let's be real, this is one of the best chapters in the entire series. It deserves much more than what I just gave it, but we're gonna keep moving.

Tyrion III keeps titles and marriages are awarded, and Tyrion gets the latter. A match to an heir of Winterfell? He's marrying Rickon? Aww. I love gay rights. Catelyn III. Robb the King orders those who would go against his word with death, but loses men in the process.

Jaime III. Jaime and Brienne are attacked by the brave companions. Cleos died. Yeah. Spoiler. That was sad. It was. Cleostide. Spoiler. That was sad. It was. Arya IV. Arya meets the ghost of Highheart and the

Brotherhood searches for Beric Dondarrion. Daenerys II. Dany starts talking business with Krasnus in Astapor for an army. Bran II. One of the best chapters ever written of everything ever, and one of my favorite chapters, Bran meets Stark Bannerman, the Littles, on the road, and he hears an old tale of a tourney long before him from Meera and Jojen.

Davos 3, imprisoned in the cells below Dragonstone, Davos has a chat with Melisandre, and then Axel Florent joins Davos. Davos has a chat with Melisandre, and then Axel Florent joins Davos. Jon 3. As the Wildlings plan to scale the wall, Jon has to leave Ghost behind, and later, Jon kills the boy. And that pussy. Get it? Jon. I do. I do.

Daenerys 3. Daenerys trades a dragon for all of the Unsullied soldiers, freeing Missandei as well. She dreams of starlight and quaithe once more, and the next day, she brings fire and blood to the slavers. Thank you, I'll be here all night.

It's a good scene. It is actually the most badass of scenes. There are so many chapters that every time we go through these lightning rounds, I'm like, oh. But what if we talked about this chapter instead? No, but I love this chapter, and we're going to talk about it now. Sansa 3. Yes.

Right. In a Storm of Swords, in which Sansa says no to the dress. And in Hamilton speak, which Eliana won't get get this is say no to this only by sansa stark anyways welcome to sansa three cersei and the maids come to get sansa into her dress they put perfume behind her ears and then on her nipples which i do not understand no one does this also like if a guy licked that it would be like like perfume tasting, which is not it tastes like alcohol. Yeah. Which like not good alcohol.

You could just buy alcohol. It wouldn't even taste like alcohol because necessarily back then it would just taste like weird, like weird herbs and flowers. And that's not sexy. Perfume. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Either way. The dress is gorgeous, though. So she has that going for her.

Everyone's like Sansa, you look hot. You look beautiful. This is great. for her everyone's like Sansa you look hot you look beautiful this is great she wears the colors of Winterfell which coincidentally look like a wedding dress white and gray Cersei says it's a shame that Sansa is being squandered on a gargoyle and Sansa begins to freak out because all right so we all know what's gonna happen in this chapter okay but like Sansa freaks out because she's like are they talking about Willis hey first of all she's like that's mean don't call willis that second of all she's like how can they know only the tyrells and dantos know there's no way that

they can know and if any of you are wondering why we talk about how dantos sells sansa out for money it's because of this all right because again only the tyrells and Dantos know about the plan to add Sansa to Willis. So let's jump back to Tyrion 3. It says, When Lord Tywin nodded, he continued, And there is this. Lord Petyr continues to demonstrate his loyalty.

Only yesterday he brought us word of a Tyrell plot to spirits on the Stark off to Highgarden for a visit, and there marry her to Lord Mace's eldest son, Willis. Now, everyone, who is Dantos working for again? Why would Peter Baelish know this of all the people? Well, why don't we take a moment to think about a game of thrones with eddard remember when peter balish took eddard out at the window and said look over there that's my person that's circe's that's various that's mine that's various that's various that's mine that's various that's circe's that's Cersei's. That's mine. That's mine. That's Varys. Do you guys remember that? Yes, I do remember that. We covered that.

Yeah. Dad, no. Listen, you guys, the Tyrells and Dantos know about the plan to wed Sansa to Willis. That's it. That is it. That's all you need to know. And Dantos told his boss, where do you think the money comes from?

I mean, just think, remember when Sansa asked in her last Clash of Kings chapter, why does Littlefinger get to be the Lord of Harrenhal? There you go. Get a job. Dantos is panicking when Sansa tells him about her plan to run away in the last chapter because he's panicking that if Sansa's gone where's his paycheck man it's running away she saved him she did and he sold her out she took her little life that was already so like minuscule and pathetic because her life is just hard right because it's sansa like she's

been a prisoner of war she's been beaten and she's like i'm gonna take a chance and i'm gonna try to save this guy because he doesn't deserve it and then he sells her to fucking get a job man yeah cersei asks for the cloak and sansa realizes as soon as her cloak is brought out it has her sigil on it it's a maiden's cloak sans Sansa refuses to do it. You can't make me, she says, but Cersei is like, sure, whatever, come on, the septon's waiting, so are the wedding guests. And she explains that because Sansa's a ward of the crown, since her brother's a traitor, so the king gets to be her father, and they're going to wed her to Tyrion. My claim, she thought, Sigan. Dantos the fool was not so foolish after all. He had seen the truth of it. Sansa backed away from the queen. I won't. I'm to marry Willis. I'm to be the Lady of Highgarden. Please. I understand your reluctance. Cry

if you must. In your place, I would likely rip my hair out. He's a loathsome little imp, no doubt of it it but marry him you shall you can't make me of course we can you can come along quietly and say your vows as befits a lady or you may struggle and scream and make a spectacle for the stable boys to titter about but you will end up wedded and bedded all the same and so in this scene jumping back again to tyrian three in a storm of swords sanza and circe are actually recreating the exchange that tywin and circe have because tywin's like all right well we're gonna wed you off again and circe's like uh no you can't make me dad and he's like i can you're someone? Like, I'm already a queen, first off.

Yeah, and he's like, no, you're going to do it. We're going to make you. And because of all of this, you can really see, I think, Cersei taking that frustration, it seems, out on Sansa. Yeah, Cersei has always taken this perverse pleasure in associating Sansa with her own pain and her own limits of misogyny, right? And it never stops. Even Cersei in A Feast for Crows, when she's all like, that she-wolf, that bitch, I gave her a great life, how could she? Yeah, I can't figure out how could she, Cersei. She didn't even do it, and I can't figure it out. Sansa gets this one moment of happiness. She's spinning in her gorgeous

dress, and she has hope back back and she's thinking she finally has a tool to get away and her evil stepmother comes crashing down on her, right? It's a total fairy tale ruiner. This dress is a tool. Sansa doesn't use her words in King's Landing necessarily, but she uses tools. She uses powder to cover her bruises when she's with Joffrey and to even her face to look like a noble lady should. She uses her dress and her new bosoms that have grown to flirt and smile and be

pretty and courteous and to fit in enough to where they ignore her. It's a lot like Daenerys's dress in a Game of Thrones when she meets Khal Drogo, actually. Something I respect about George is that clothing is super important in this story, whether it's the fabric type, like we talked about with lace or silk or colored fabric. It tells a story. It tells what type of fabric, the station of the person wearing it, and it speaks to the event. There are some people who are bad and ugly that hate the dress chapter. But it's kind of important in the scope of A, a character in a fuel society,

and B, that happens to be 13 years old and highborn. Giving Sansa a new dress is like giving her a little bit of agency, because prisoners of war don't get shiny things. They get to be paraded outside after not washing for days to see their father's head on a spike. Right. Like that. That was the gift Sansa got from Joffrey, you guys.

Yes, she's been fed, but she's been beaten. And yes, she burnt her own room alive. But she was losing her mind with madness because she's a prisoner of war. She's being beaten. She's being attacked. She's being groomed and abused all by adults harassed by adults you know like this is let her have her moment to spin in her dress before you ruin her life cersei because you've been ruining her life for months yeah exactly because cersei's just like well if my life's miserable by god yours is gonna be too oh my god it is too. It's horrible. She's like, if I had to do it, you do. So then Cersei forces the Kingsguard to escort Sansa to the sect.

Then Osmund Kettleblack is surprisingly kind of nice here. I'm like, what is happening? He's telling Sansa that she must be brave. She's a Stark, right? And they're wolves, and they're brave. It's sad when the Kingsguard's the one feeling bad for them right we see this with jamie and rayella we see it in anyone in proximity to maegor and his black brides or even to agon the unworthy you're hurting me they had heard rayella cry through the oaken door you're hurting me in some queer way that had been worse than lord chelsted's

screaming we are sworn to protect her as well jamie had finally been driven to say we are darryl loud but not from him and of course osman kettleblacks doesn't have quite the same sentiment but he says wolves are supposed to be brave, aren't they, sweetling? Yeah, shit's bad when Osmund Kettleblack is the one trying to comfort you. Yeah, pretty bad. When the wents are comforting you. What? What? Anyways. Sansa, though, does take his words to heart, and she thinks that at least Tyrion isn't as bad as the rest of the Lannisters

that I've had to deal with and she says alright, I'll go. But also she probably doesn't want to be beaten again though Cersei obviously wouldn't order that. Especially because then it would ruin the dress but Cersei isn't about having Sansa beaten. She's just like carry her

don't mess up her outfit. Yeah we still owe the Iron Bank for this one. Sansa beaten. She's just like, carry her. Don't mess up her outfit. Yeah, we still owe the Iron Bank for this one. Sansa then dissociates basically her entire trip going to the sub. She's like, I don't remember much of what happened going there. And of course

as she gets there, Joffrey is waiting for her. What a nightmare. And he of course says something that doesn't help. He says, I'm your father today. And she immediately is just so disgusted. She's like, no, you're not. You're not. So while Joffrey's being a little shit, Tyrion appears and he's like, leave her alone. Leave me alone. Leave us alone. We're going to talk now as husband and wife almost. My lady, this is no way to bring you to your wedding. I am sorry for that, and for making this so sudden and so secret. My lord father felt it necessary for reasons of state. Else,

I would have come to you sooner as I wished. He waddled closer. You did not ask for this marriage, I know, no more than I did. If I had refused you, however, they would have wed you to my cousin Lancel. Perhaps you would prefer that? He is nearer your age and fairer to look upon. If that is your wish, say so, and I will end this farce. I don't want any Lannister, she wanted to say. I want Willis, I want Highgarden, and the puppies, and the barge, and sons named Eddard and Bran and

Rickon. But then she remembered what Dantos had told her in the godswood. Tyrell or Lannister, it makes no matter. It's not me they want, only my claim. You are kind, my lord, she said, defeated. I am a ward of the throne and my duty is to marry as the king commands. He studied her with his mismatched eyes. I know I am not the sort of husband young girls dream of, Sansa, he said softly. But neither am I, Joffrey. No, she said. You were kind to me. I remember.

I think this is a very nice scene, but I also, you know, Tyrion does give her an out, and I just want to be like to all the people saying that Sansa was mean to Tyrion just because he's ugly, even though he was so nice to her, and that Sansa's super ungrateful. Like, though he was so nice to her, and that Sansa's super ungrateful. Sansa chooses Tyrion over the handsome boy closer to her age. She's met Lancel, she knows what he's like, and she recognizes that, yes, Tyrion was nicer to me. And, yes, Sansa acknowledges that it's not about looks necessarily. That's icing on the cake, because she chooses Tyrion,

but she doesn't want any Lannister. It doesn't matter how handsome they are because she hates the Lannisters because they literally killed her father in that war with her family. In case you remember the scene where she's thinking about how she wanted Will. She's like, yes, we're going to have children named Edward, Brandon, and Rickon, and I'm going to raise them to hate Lannisters. I mean, right, that was the best bitter little thing. I loved it. I loved it so much.

As they head to the set to be joined, Sansa notices all these people who are in attendance, but of course, she doesn't notice any Tyrells. There's an interesting call-out to Lady Irma Sande, who is younger than Sansa. She's literally a baby and already married. Also, good for her. Like Lady Amisande killing it politically.

Sansa starts to disassociate during the ceremony. She did all of the things that she was supposed to with like the candles and like the words and the vows and shit until we get to the changing of the cloaks. Joffrey is awful and he's terrible. And he takes Sansa's cloak while he gropes her because this entire thing the changing of the cloaks. Joffrey is awful, and he's terrible, and he takes Sansa's cloak while he gropes her, because this entire thing wasn't already just awful.

It's literally, this is literally, I'm just gonna spend this whole time talking about how bad this wedding is. All the weddings, there are no good weddings in this series, are there? No, and of course then, Joffrey removes her maiden's cloak which brings us to tyrian and he's supposed to put the bridal cloak on sanza and it is a very fancy cloak like before you thought that maiden's cloak was fancy with its pearls this one has rubies i do love the cloaks in this like book not just the chapter not just this episode but the cloaks that we get to hear of Sansa in A Storm of Swords because of course it ends with one that she uses to hide pearl work on her dress in and it's a very like a done brown cloak right after Joffrey's murder during her

escape and it's just a huge progression in everything she wears from the beginning of this book to her with her beautiful dress and her realizing that the dress is a fucking lie and then her of course settling into this disguise of a cloak as she leaves king's landing after the king's been murdered but are the lemon cakes a lie no lemon cakes are not a lie just regular cakes for the ceremony though no one thought to bring a stool because no one thinks through logistics at all. And Tyrion turns out is a foot and a half shorter than Sansa. And I just want to call this out here, you know, the way that I think about the different hours in Westeros. Is this the measurement system in Westeros?

Are they using the Imperial Standard System? And clearly they're not using the metric system. But anyway. So when I was 11, because you know how i'm tall you are tall uh thank you i did it myself and when i was 11 i was like five foot five or six so if she's 13 when i was 13 i was probably 5 7 5 8 i'm like 5 11 now so yeah okay yeah she was probably like 5 7 that's tall for a girl though at that age it's above average i think the average height for a woman the moment six no it's 5 4 oh is it yeah how you bitches get shorter every year i know right i don't anyway sansa then feels a tug and she realizes, oh, Tyrion wants me to kneel.

She's like, she felt another tug at her skirt, more insistent. I won't. Why should I spare his feelings when no one cares about mine? And it's really the only act of defiance that she's afforded in this entire thing. Yeah, some women get to rip their dresses or their clothes like jane westerling but sansa this is what she has her standing straight and steely and not bending and then the room begins to laugh until finally joffrey commands like don'tos can you just like get on your hands and knees and crouch so that Tyrion can climb on you and then put the goddamn cloak on Sansa.

And then finally, it happens and then they're face to face and Sansa can see that Tyrion's face is also red, just as red as the cloak and then suddenly, quote, she was ashamed of her stubbornness. Aww, it's not your fault, honey. It's really awful on all parts for

every single person involved like why does she have to bow to him that's bullshit but also like it's not his fault either so then it's like it's not her fault and it's not his fault and it's like not hers and it's not his and it's just like this is an awful wedding everything is horrible everyone is being mean at this wedding it's just intense i can't and it's not even the worst wedding in this book i know there's one wedding that's worse the one wedding that's way better yeah my favorite wedding the best wedding of the year if you were reading a tabloid that wedding would be on the cover because it's off the chain. Like, you're going to choke on how good it is. Oh, yeah.

Some Marie Claire shit. Sansa and Tyrion pledge to one another, and then they give each other the smallest, tiniest kiss to seal it. And then the septon pronounces them man and wife. And Sansa's just like, I'm just trying not to cry in front of all these people. And of course, it's such a small intimate wedding reception right and here sansa found the tyrells marjorie gave her such a sad look and when the queen of thorns tottered in between left and right she never looked at her at all eleanor

alla and mega seemed determined not to know her my friends friends, Sansa thought bitterly. First off, good, she's learning. Mm-hmm. Welcome aboard, babe. That's life. But also, why would they spend money on Sansa or Tyrion? Of course it's an intimate wedding. And their wedding was a laughingstock.

It was literally a nightmare. That wedding was a nightmare of a situation. Nothing was good about this wedding. Maybe the booze. That is what you do at weddings. And also, if anyone's allowed to get drunk in his own goddamn terrible wedding, it's Tyrion. And he kind of participates in the toast. This is the most he's going to participate in his wedding because at least when you toast, you drink at the end. It's the best part of toasting and drinking.

Exactly. He doesn't like get super into it, but he's like, yep, we're toasting. I'm a nod. I'm going to take this drink. And again, the feasts are too long but sansa can't eat anything so we miss out on all the descriptions of the great food damn it sansa that's why you're the worst pov i hate you we only learn about lemon cakes what about the other food sansa sansa's the worst she ruined the whole series continue and all of this is awful and she's dreading the whole thing ending

as well there's no good part of this for her because if the feast is over and everything's over then we go to the bedding and she's like i don't want to be stripped naked in front of the entire court again and then be forced to bed tyrian also that's like that's a joke to them oh yeah think about it that's disgusting and a joke to them they're like haha this is hysterical this little dwarf guy banging this young girl like that's disgusting like fuck you people it's already like a joke to them as it is and now tyrian and sanza are they're not here to celebrate them. They're being paraded in front of the court as their entertainment. Which I guess is interesting considering that, what, this eventually becomes a play, right? They adapt this into a play.

Yeah, absolutely. And bravos. Interesting enough. I think that was one thing the show really well adapted. Anyway, the musicians finally begin to play and Sansa puts her hand on Tyrion's and wants to lead the dance with him. She says, you know, shall we lead the dance? And Tyrion thinks we've provided enough entertainment for the night. I'm good. I'm good. I don't want to go out there. I'm short and drunk. And it's kind of sad because it reminds me in a bit, since all these Cersei parallels are flying by of, you know, Cersei with Robert when they first got married, when he took her out on the rampart and said, like, look, look out off this balcony at your

people. They love you. They love you as a queen, you know, and they're all cheering for you. And then he sucked, which is kind of how Joffrey was as well. Lots of parallels there. But, and then he sucked, which is kind of how Joffrey was as well. Lots of parallels there. But, you know, Sansa tries for a second. She thinks, I could be sweet to him. I could be a lady. And then he's all like, I'm drunk.

I'm bitter. I gotta marry this hot 13-year-old, I guess, according to my dad. And, I don't know, Joffrey and Margaery end up leading the dance instead. Kind of insulting, honestly. Like, that's an insult. And Sansa thinks, how can a monster dance so beautifully? And it is worth noting with that line that in this chapter, throughout the entire chapter, for the most part, yes. Like Sansa does think positively about who Tyrion is,

how he's treated her. And she does, I'm going to let Chloe talk about things here. She does think about the Hound when she's facing Tyrion, and she has positive associations with both of them. It's a lot of Sansa throwing away that outer, you know, like, the Hound is rough and awful, but there's a good side to him, and Tyrion's ugly and stunted,

but there's a good side to him, and wait, did you just say sansa have positive associations with the hound is that what you just did you say that i think i think i did say that i said that i said that with the hound with the hound i'm just that's that's interesting okay i was just very surprised because you talked about my husband sandor i didn't think you'd ever bring him up eliana he's brought up in this chapter who in this quote whomst whomst whomst so there's this little quote of course there's a handful of quotes there's a lot of quotes i mean i'm just thinking i mean i wish the hound were here you're no true knight sir marin or sansa thinks about making out with the hound that didn't actually happen.

Air horn, air horn, unkiss. I'm just saying. But yeah, Sansa thinks of Tyrion. He's so ugly, Sansa thought when his face was close to hers. He's even uglier than the hound. Girl, give it three years. She wants to stroke more than his scars when she's a woman grown. Okay, I get you, Sansa. I get you.

All right. Well, so again. But Sansa does note very often how ugly Tyrion is, right? Like, very often. She does. But I do think it is contrasted with that line where Sansa talks about how beauty is not goodness. Because the person who's being called a monster here is Joffrey. He dances beautifully. He's awful and terrible. And later on in a bit, she's going to see

Cersei also dancing beautifully, charming and laughing and being beautiful at this wedding. And she thinks, I hate Cersei. And at the very beginning of this chapter, you know, we have the cloaks of the gallantly dressed Kingsguard and she hates them and fears that they're awful to her. But it's hard because she does still long for a beautiful wedding with a We have the cloaks of the gallantly dressed Kingsguard, and she hates them and fears them. They're awful to her. But it's hard because she does still long for a beautiful wedding with a handsome husband, of course, and I don't think that's necessarily bad. She wants people to be smiling as they watch her and her husband dance, not laughing at them.

I don't think this is Sansa's shallness because if she wanted, she could have asked for Lancel. She was given that choice, and she just wanted something nice and good, and this is what she fucking gets. Because, like, to be honest, who doesn't want a nice wedding day, even if it's low-key and intimate, even if you're just going to, like, the courthouse and getting someone to sign it? It's- you want it to be good. Yeah, this is Sansa. She has to sign her birth right away, but she knows she has to do her duty as well, and if she wants to survive, especially, she has to do her duty.

So, everyone runs the dance floor at one point. There's a great jam on. Eliana thinks it might be the electric slide. It's the electric slide. I think maybe it was, you know, the cha-cha slide. It could be the cha-cha slide. If we gotta go slide. It could be.

I just mean, like, are you thinking about Garland Terrell cha-cha real smooth? Because he does. He cha-chas real smooth over to Sansa. And he's like, hey, can I have this dance? You know, I mean, if your husband says it's cool. And Tyrion's like, sure, whatever. I don't want to fucking dance. So Sansa, of course, dances with him. And there are, of course, these two parts of some quotes from the story.

Perhaps she ought to have remained beside her husband, but she wanted to dance so badly. And somehow the laughter made her hopeful again, if only for a little while. Smiling, she let the music take her, losing herself in the steps, in the sound of the flute, in the pipes, and harp in the rhythm of the drum. I find this to be very significant because Sansa thinks how she wanted to dance so badly. She couldn't resist it. And I think that dancing is such a big part of Sansa's character

and storyline. Because she is the only character that we see dance in her own POV. The only POV character who does it. And dancing in A Song of Ice and Fire is significant. Even from the beginning of the story. Like, dancing is often used as a metaphor for fighting. know at the beginning we have that iconic line from waymar royce he's like dance with me then but he's like up against the others and he's like

just a small boy but in that moment he's a hero standing up and sansa when she's allowed to dance or when she dances is very much acting out the part of being a courteous lady we talked about what courtesy is before and how it's that courtly behavior we're going to come back to courtesy as a lady's armor a bit more as this chapter

closes but when Sansa is here dancing she loses this first battle she has joffrey and he totally shakes her but we see sansa doing her own style of fighting which is not necessarily with a sword but with the sort of women's weapons that she's been taught in the winds of winter and I think that's really significant considering that we do have an entire war called the Dance

of the Dragons, and there's going to be another one. Yeah, I like what you said there. I know you have some really good stuff on Courtesy as a Lady's Armor to come, so hold out for a little bit longer for that, guys, listeners, but of course, garland straight up

looks at sansa he's like so you look like shit like you look miserable as fuck and she's like no no i'm fine this is fun for me this is fine this is this is fun we're having fun it's good this is it's fine to quote tyrian look at all the fun we're having of course the dance makes people switch their partners so sanza who's participating in the dance switches along she gets tom in and he's precious and he's all like i want to get married too but not to beats you know he doesn't say that but he does of course eventually get married we'll get there and the dance brings her to joffrey scumbag joffrey put the hat on him put the meme on him and he's all like you still got me baby we're all like no that's gross stay away from her sans is like you're gonna be married to marjorie and joffrey is like obviously men can have other

women just like my dad and then he's like or agon the third or agon the fourth i don't remember which one which now is setting off alarms i'm like wait hold on joffrey has been patterning they're very different agons yeah first of all he doesn't know which they're so different okay and then turns out the entire time agon the fourth is who joffrey's been looking at as his kingly role model like my fucking god he says that tyrian has to bring sansa to his bed if he commands it and sansa's like no he won't he won't tyrian would never do that sansa is so shaken after this she can't dance right right like she's not up to par she's not up to snuff she's dancing pretty poorly and then joffrey like after the dance is like you guys i'm super excited it's

the bedding all right because it's not like i've ever had her stripped naked before the court before there's something about men and grasping for power isn't there right like you're weak i can keep you weak here's my boner yeah so the So the thing Ramsay does too. Yes, absolutely. And then Tyrion goes, no. We have been there, we have done that, and we're not doing that again, and threatens to gel Joffrey, which is, believe it or not, threatening

a king is actually incredibly scandalous. And Tyrion says, in response to these assertions, he goes, I did your grace, said Tyrion, but only because I envied your royal manhood. Mine is so small and stunted. His face twisted into a leer. And if you take my tongue, you will leave me no way at all to pleasure the sweet wife you gave me.

And this line just makes me think of a theory called the Quiet Lion Theory by Hamfast42. And there's a lot of reference throughout this series of Tyrion talking about like, oh, they'll have to take my tongue or like, oh, if I should lose my tongue, this is like such a big part of Tyrion's character. And we've seen other Lannisters lose parts of them and that lead to changes in their character. Like, obviously, the most prominent one is Jaime losing his hand. I wouldn't say it's prominent, Bob. And then there's Cersei losing her hair.

So Hamfest 42 discusses that all of this reference to Tyrion talking about his tongue might mean that perhaps Tyrion might lose his tongue. I do love the theory about Cersei and how she stepped in a bunch of bullshit during her walk of shame and how she might lose her foot, which would be very interesting for Jaime's hand connection to her foot. I don't think it's going to happen, but I just love the idea of it. And I think it's really the analysis around it is great. If you I don't know who did that one originally. I'll define it. I'll see if I can link it below. If I do find it by when we post this episode, it's worth it.

It's a I really like it. I really like that theory. I don't think it'll happen, but I think it's just really thematically interesting that like, you know, we'll go out how we came into this world. So for sure Tywin is of course not amused at all at Tyrion's behavior because Tyrion is drunk that is why he misspoke

says Tywin but fun fact Tyrion did not misspeak and he is allegedly not drunk I'm not drunk no i don't know i do think if you drink as much as tyrian does on a daily basis you probably have a perfectly decent tolerance thank you aliana i really appreciate that he probably though has drank his body weight before like i mean he has the opportunity tried i have a friend to tell a

story about my friend now tyrian and sansa go up to a specially prepared chamber for them in the tower of the hand because that's where sansa wants to go to lose her maidenhead tyrian asks for a glass of white wine because he feels like he needs to be drunk for this. Sansa feels that makes two of them and joins it on the line. Tyrion then reveals to Sansa that he had been wed before. I've never actually thought much about this before and paid much attention to this moment of Tyrion divulging his first marriage to Sansa because I wonder if it's something that might come into play later. There are a bunch of factors that are coming around Sansa and Tyrion's marriage, especially as they try to wed Sansa to

other people. For example, does Sansa still have her maidenhead? Was this marriage consummated? It wasn't. Something that could be pointed out is that they wed in a sept, which is mentioned a few times, and there's the sept in, but it's not in a god's wood. And as we learn, oftentimes throughout the series, the Starks don't do that. Alaric Stark is pretty intent about telling Alysanne that Starks would wed in front of a god's wood, not with a sept in. And of course, now Sansa knowing that Tyrion once had a wife, it could be another thing that would be used to try and annul their marriage, because I don't think it's going to go as peaceably as it did in the show. I don't either.

There has to be a little bit of tension there. And let's be real. Men love telling Sansa their trauma. Am I right? Like, that's like their thing. It's weird. Tyrion asks Sansa, how old are you? And she's like 13 and he's of course like

what 13 that's nuts but he proceeds to go on and try to do his duty with her gods have mercy the dwarf took another swallow of wine well talk won't make you older. Shall we get on with this, my lady, if it please you? It will please me to please my lord husband. That seemed to anger him. You hide behind courtesy as if it were a castle wall. Courtesy is a lady's armor, Sansa said. Her septa had always told her that. I am your husband. You can take off your armor now.

And my clothing? So we're going to come back to this scene in a bit. But first, we're going to talk about how Sansa finally finishes clumsily and dressing, and she sees like there's this hunger in Tyrion's eyes, even though he's declaring her to be a child and he says that he wants her regardless and asks if it scares her and she goes yes i mean what what do you expect like she's 13 what was the reaction that he was expecting like i'm just saying like she okay she's like like what did you she all she's had is like the hound hitting on her weird very weird and oh i guess this wasn't her first kiss now that i think about it because i was thinking it's kind of her first kiss and i was like nope serdantos has been creeping on her

so she's had the hound and serdantos yes she has tyrian tells, I know I'm ugly and my family sucks, but I'm loyal and brave and clever, which isn't common in my family. And Sansa, of course, realizes Tyrion's as afraid as she is. And then she feels only pity for him, which is, of course, interestingly enough, an exact feeling she has with Sandor when he told her his backstory. And then Tyrion finishes his drink and orders Sansa, like, all right, go get into bed. And then it turns out, as Sansa's laying down in bed, we find out that there are candles lit and that there are petals strewn across the bed. And it's just so awful and awkward. the bed and it's just so awful and awkward sansa has no idea what to do when tyrian gets on the bed and then he lays his hand on her breast and oh she's like do we kiss do i open my legs what happens and tyrian unhands her and says open your eyes he says he can't do this and that they have to wait my father be damned so i do think that this is a

relevant line especially in the context of us revisiting that taisha marriage earlier in this chapter or in the scene even because taisha being gang raped because that's what happened is especially it's incredibly cruel it's one of the worst it's one of the most horrible things i think that happens in this series and for tyrian to have participated in it was also very bad because she actually loved him even if she had it you know that's not okay and in doing so what he does is he adds to taisha's pain. He also rapes her. But it is complicated because Tyrion isn't blameless, right? But he is only 13 years old and he's terrified of his father of Tywin. He's being forced by Tywin. he feels his body betrays him and he didn't want to but he's forced into this sexual encounter which leads to tyrian essentially being sexually assaulted by his father because tyrian himself was also a child he's the same age as sansa and for him to say in this moment my father be damned for him to be thinking of taisha in that first wedding it's definitely i think influencing tyrian's reasoning here but just as kneeling

with sansa's own small rebellion this is tyrian's rebellion against his father by disobeying him that's brilliant it's so true tyrian says he won't touch her until they wait until sansa trusts him, until she wants him to. And she asks, And if I never want you to, my lord? His mouth jerked as if she'd slapped him. Never? Her neck was so tight she could scarcely nod. Why, he said, that is why the gods made whores for imps like me. He closed his short, blunt fingers into a fist and climbed down off the bed. So, remember earlier when Tyrion and Sansa were discussing courtesy, and Tyrion asks Sansa to remove her lady's armor? Eliana has the skinny on that.

Yes, so... I'm gonna say that Tyrion doesn't do the same for sansa if you'll recall regarding this talk of armor tyrian tells john very much towards earlier in the series never forget what you are for surely the world will not make it your strength and it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it and it will never be used to hurt you. Now Tyrion asks Sansa to remove her armor to get rid of the courtesy, yet

soon after she does that, Tyrion calls himself malformed, scarred, and small. So while Sansa doesn't have her lady's armor, Tyrion hasn't done the same thing. He's still guarding himself by acknowledging his appearance like he becomes the first one to call it out and that way he's trying to put it up front so that his feelings won't be hurt but then we see in Sansa's description

when she says she may never want to sleep with him Tyrion has a visceral reaction, his mouth jerked. And then Sansa says in her POV, it looks as if she had slapped him. That's a simile that we were using. And while it not be objective, because of course, all of these are colored by these close third person narrations, it is an important choice of words. Slapping someone hurts them, showing that even though Tyrion's wearing his armor, he still feels that pain, that hurt. And the problem is that Tyrion, despite having been in a few battles himself, I think doesn't really show an understanding here of what the purpose of armor is. Because armor doesn't negate pain. Like, we see people getting, like, their heads hit in Like, we see people getting, like, their heads hit in armor, and they're like,

oh, it made my head ring, right? Even fully clad. A blow in the right place is gonna hurt with enough force, even if it doesn't go through and pierce like any flesh. And so armor is worn to survive on the battlefield so that someone can live to fight another day, so that someone can just straight

up live in general. And that's exactly how armor functions in sansa's storyline because sansa was hurt throughout her entire storyline in a clash of kings both emotionally physically sexually assaulted but because of her lady's armor and her courtesy she's been able to survive until now yeah sansa has more than lived to see another day. I love it. I love that. That was a great point. You're so smart. Friends, regarding this point and, I guess, dancing

in Sansa's storyline, I have written an essay on this before. It's real good. It's on Wars and Politics of Ice and Fire. It's called Dances with Wolves. We'll definitely leave a link below for this one. We'll also leave a link to an essay that I've written about Sansa displacing emotions

in A Song of Ice and Fire about Willis and his leg. We'll leave some fun links. This happens to be our thing, you guys. If you didn't notice, Sansa's like our... Eliana's is like Danny and Sansa, and I'm like Sansa.

It's our thing.'s our thing we write things sometimes once in a while we're working on it I'm trying to pressure Eliana to write more things but I'm also pressuring myself to write more things so we're just pressuring everyone everyone write things peer pressure peer essay. Man. That was Sansa 2 and 3 in A Storm of Swords. That's a lot. That was a heavy couple bits there. I mean, the second chapter is obviously light, but the third chapter is a little heavy. There's a lot to think

on. Sansa's arc is really growing in this book. Yes, absolutely. It's a really pivotal book for Sansa, and I'm very excited for whatever wins holds for her because I think people I know all of it by heart. George doesn't but I do. People have promised. Supposedly wins might be, you know, the storm of the second arc or whatever the story so yeah, it's the next leg. And I think there's only up for Sansa from here as far as politically.

I mean, she's obviously, especially here, especially in the next few chapters we learn, Sansa is obviously the political kid, right? You have a handful of kids from the Starks. You know, they just keep popping them out, whatever. Got what, like 12 right now? Just kidding. There's like four, five, six. Who's alive?

No one knows. But Sansa's the political one, man. That's her thing that's her big thing so we're gonna see a lot more of her political uh ploys and political art come to play come the winds of winter and i can't wait for that for sure but for now we're still in storm and so of course next episode we're gonna cover Sansa's fourth and fifth chapter in Storm. But while you wait, you might want to subscribe to us on the social medias. For example, you could want to follow our Twitter, Girls Gone Canon.

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If not, hey, that's no big deal. Don't sweat it. We're still going to do these episodes for free every single Friday. We will be posting them. We are pretty committed to you guys as you're committed to us. So thanks so much for listening, you guys. Thank you. I've been Eliana, of course, also course also known as glass table girl various areas of the

internet and i've been chloe one of your other hosts you can find me on the internet as at lies in arbor on the slowly dwindling away tumblr and of course on twitter i think i have to make a wordpress after this week topical joke i already have a WordPress. How many of your essays do you think are gonna how much of your Tumblr is going to be taken down? Oh my god, me and poor Quentin are already saving all of our essays. Don't even question it. Hey, guys, thanks so much for listening. We're gonna see you guys next week. Same time, same place.