Girls Gone Canon Cast - ASOIAF Episode 76 - ADWD Jon X

Episode Date: December 20, 2019

Jon orchestrates a shotgun wedding... a crossbow wedding? Whatever. Either way, things end up kind of okay considering the track records for weddings in this series. Hopefully no one crashes it at the end.   --- Eliana's twitter: https://twitter.com/arhythmetric Eliana's reddit account: https://www.reddit.com/user/glass_table_girl Eliana's blog: https://themanyfacedblog.wordpress.com/ Chloe's twitter: https://twitter.com/liesandarbor Chloe's blog: www.liesandarborgold.com   Intro by Anton Langhage  

Hello and welcome to Girls Gone Canon, A Song of Ice and Fire, Episode 76, John 10 in A Dance with Dragons. I am one of your hosts, Chloe. You might know me from the internet as LiesInArbor on Twitter, Tumblr, and LiesInArborGold.com. And I am another one of your hosts, Aliana. You might know me as GlassTableGirl on Reddit or on the Mason Monthly podcast. You also might know me as Arithmetic over on Twitter. on the Mason Monthly Podcast. You also might know me as Arithmetric over on Twitter. We are back with another Jon Snow chapter.

Surprise! Surprise! It's still happening. Just in time for what might be a big winter snow. Yes, just in time. We will not have a white Christmas or a snowy Christmas, unfortunately. No Jon Snow Christmas episode happening next week. No zombie episode? No, no.

Very close to, though. We're about, what, three episodes off from having Jon die for our sins on Christmas. But unfortunately, no, we will be finishing Jon up in January before we move to our new point of view character. Gasp. Gasp. If you're a patron, you might already know who that character is certain patrons at certain tiers get that foreknowledge and i'm sure we will be releasing that information to more patrons very soon and of course if you are one of those patrons who

knows ahead of time please keep it hush hush. Yes. Dark wings, dark words. Oh my god. But here's the thing that's not a secret. So we do have a Patreon episode this month and this month as part of all the His Dark Materials stuff that's going around and of course we're very excited about it, we are doing the

lantern slides which are these little vignettes at the end of each of the three main novels. Yes, I'm very excited to analyze and explore those. We will be wanting to bridge the gap between the stars and between Sidigase as we get into The Subtle Knife next year. We'll also be covering the finale for His Dark Materials season one. You can expect that out sometime after Christmas. We will see when we can get that out i know there's a lot going on with the holidays and i know you guys probably won't be listening until you're on the drive home from your family where you're putting miles and miles away from the

beloved family members that you love seeing annually i cannot tell the emotion that Chloe is trying to convey at this moment. A relatable emotion. But which relatable emotion? I love my family. It's just after many days with them, I know that I can go, having loved them. Yes, I mean, that's true. That's true. So along with that, let's talk about some of the things that we've heard.

Some notes that we've gotten from our Aswath family. We got an email from our friend Michael Yaney, who said, I am currently rereading through A Game of Thrones, and I was just in the section where Jon saves Mormont from the other Othor. Man, that was so long ago. I forgot that that happened. No, I didn't. Books ago. So long ago. I forgot that that happened. No, I didn't. Books ago.

So long ago. After he cuts off the arm, he describes the smell as cold, which reminded me of you guys discussing John smelling Melisandre as warm. I don't know what it means. I will leave that up to you professionals. We are not professionals. What does it mean, Michael?

What does it mean? What does it mean? I do find that interesting, though. It's a good catch. So thanks for sending that in. We'll think about that. There's a lot of Melisandre this episode. So I thought that'd be a good way to start us off. Perfect. We did get a message from our good friend Warren, who was commenting on our pronunciation of Solis. Apparently, one of us sounded like Salise when we pronounced it, or Sleaze. And he said, that wasn't an accident, was it?

Love the social insight. Yeah, I think that was an accident. I don't think we did it on purpose. Warren's the one that I remember most, but I saw someone else also commenting on that. And it makes me think, maybe this is something George is playing with. Yeah, I could see that. Maybe, yeah. A could see that. He does it with Othor, who we just read about. So

yeah, very true. He loves wordplay, whether it's that whether it's Kat and Elaine, making Katalin, Katalain. True, true, true. Yes. And then we got another message from our good friend Lojot Gomur, who's been sending a lot of really great information and history about the Sami people, Indigenous people, up in Scandinavian areas for our His Direct Materials episodes. Lo says, I just listened to your episode on John 9 and thought I'd send you some Aswath thoughts for a change.

Your framing of the Free Folks experiences is similar to that of Indigenous people, I just listened to your episode on John 9 and thought I'd send you some Aswath thoughts for a change. Your framing of the free folks' experiences is similar to that of indigenous people, made me think of how many indigenous people in our world are some of the groups most affected by climate change. For instance, in Sweden, many Sami reindeer herders are affected by how unpredictable the climate has become because of climate change. Like you know, this is the case in many places. While viewing the others as climate change is an incomplete metaphor, I think we can see parallels in how this change in climate affects marginalized groups most severely. If I remember correctly, you touched on this in a previous episode. In our world, imperialist capitalism has messed up our climate, and those groups with the least power bear the brunt of the consequences. In Aswath,

we're not entirely sure why the others have returned, but the nobles definitely do not care as long as it only troubles the free folk and the Night's Watch. The attitude that some in the Night's Watch, like Bow and Marsh, expresses is similar too. Let the free folk deal with this problem, not to go into total tinfoil territory, but if it's true, what some in the fandom posit posit that humans messing with magic has caused enhanced what's happening now in the story then this parallel is even stronger those in power try to get more power leading to unexpected changes in the climate which most severely impacts indigenous people and other marginalized groups groups that they do not care about and already fuck over in other ways. Just some thoughts that I had when listening to the episode.

Yeah, I mean, who has to clean up that mess at the end of the day? Gen Z. Zoomers! And us, we're gonna be part of that. We millennials. Hell no, we're gonna drink through all the alcohol left in the land while they figure it out or we're gonna all be dead or that uh yeah i think that these are all interesting thoughts i don't know yet if it's like humans messing with magic that cause or enhance what's happening in

the story but it does tie into that parallel if that is the case. I mean, war doesn't help by any chance. Yeah. And I know that some people have speculated, right? And I thought that that was an interesting theory. I forgot who I read it from a long time ago that the increasing like wars and bloodshed or something in Westeros was part of what was stimulating the other's activity. Mm. was uh stimulating the other's activity and we hear it in this episode later that the people that alice does have at carhold aren't enough to really you know keep things moving and grooving

they're gonna run out of crop they're uh gonna run out of food so fast it's not looking good especially in the north yeah that kind of gave me some more like full metal alchemist like brotherhood vibes though oh yeah i don't know i thought that this was interesting and you know pointing out more explicitly that bow and marsh has a similar attitude of like let the free folk deal with this problem i don't know that it's like the nobility in westeros or like they don't care as long as it only troubles the free folk in the night's watch it's more just that they don't believe it's happening yeah and they refuse to believe it's happening. Yeah, and they refuse to believe it's happening. And I mean, it's hard, right?

Like, social media and the internet and having video evidence has changed a lot of the ways that people can now see, like, bad things that are happening. They're like, oh, wait, this actually is happening. It's harder to deny it when it's chronicled, and they don't have that. Maybe glass candles, you know? Maybe someone glass candles it to everyone. don't have that maybe gloss candles you know maybe someone glass candles it to everyone well without further ado after uh having our very own low corner on our song of ice and fire podcast now too i love it maybe chloe will be no again she never gets fired for these she only gets

promoted promotion well we'll get into our lightning round, starting with the blind girl. Dreaming through her wolf's eyes as her own are blinded, Arya undertakes a gamer challenge, the lying game. She duels with staffs with an acolyte later as well. She learns of the trafficked free folk in the harbor in Pintos and earns her vision back after skin-changing into a cat. Then we have a ghost in Winterfell, infighting and murder! Begins to crop up in the Bolton faction, and Abel's washerwomen come for Reek.

Tyrion X. Sold into slavery, Tyrion convinces his master the bear on the platform is worth the coin. They entertain nurse's friends, and Tyrion wins a game of Sivas against brown Ben Plum. They learn they'll be prime entertainment in the fighting pits of Meereen. Jaime I. Jaime lifts a siege at Riverrun and Raventry Hall, coming

across Brienne of Tarth afterward. A queen in her own right. Actually, though. Jon X. Jon attends a wedding, visits a prisoner, battles wits at a feast, A queen in her own right. Actually, though. John 10. John attends a wedding, visits a prisoner, battles wits at a feast, and finally is interrupted by the sound of two blasts of a war horn. So the chapter opens with Melisandre performing a marriage ritual under a lure.

I like the way that George opens this chapter where he tells it to us with just her giving a sermon, then says, And then the wedding guest replied, and that's how you know it's a wedding. It's under light snowfall, with heavy wind from the east, and it is cold as an ice dragon's breath. Hmm, what could it mean? Why does it mean? What does it mean? What does it mean? Does it mean?

What does it mean? What does it mean? George has said Verlore is based off of, well, a little bit of a couple things. Zoroastrianism and Catharism. Zoroastrianism has a few different rituals before the wedding, like respect of the dowry and the silver plays a big role. They light lamps together. They offer a silver coin to it. They dip hands in water and leave a coin to signify the dowry's blessing, etc. But neither have a wedding ceremony with Catharism rejecting traditional Christian marriage.

They don't have anything special, right? They have a ceremony, but they don't have any sort of ditch-jumping, flame-spinning, fire stuff happening. And the fire spin is really what's interesting compared to other westerosi weddings adding the snow in to the background of the fire is just so nice it's a very nice scene this is probably one of the last happy moments in john chapters yeah that's true i so i'm as you're saying this i'm kind of wondering like what happens if you know one of them doesn't make the jump, you know? What if they just, like, fall in the ditch during the marriage ceremony?

Wasn't meant to be. Like, damn. Just wasn't meant to be. You gotta, like, get real spry before your wedding. A line that I found interesting from Mel's sermon says about R'hllor, Yours is the sun that warms our days yours the stars that guard us in the dark of night so relore is associated with the sun and the stars but interestingly not the moon hmm just found that interesting that is interesting no moon

no light ghost is the only one who doesn't seem to feel the cold alice is whispering in john's ear telling him her lady mother said snow meant a cold marriage john watches celeste thinking that she must have gotten married in a blizzard to stannis she's surrounded by her ladies which are few women and serving girls and knights beneath an airmind mantle she looks frail pale and small Thinking face emoji. Interesting. Yeah. Would she? We're thinking about denarius right that's all interesting so while salise is embracing her cold courtesies her men are not holding up the same because bruce is over here he's half drunk malagorn is fondling a woman narbert is yawning

and patrick is angry but is Patrick not always angry throwing it out there John gets why these are the queen's men and not Stannis' men ouch yeah all we need is the person throwing up in the plant and then you've got a complete wedding

that's a real wedding I mean that's a real thing that happens the night is dark and filled with terrors a complete wedding. That's a real wedding. I mean, that's a real thing that happens. The night is dark and filled with terrors, Melisandre sang. Alone we are born, and alone we die, but as we walk through this black veil, we draw strength from one another, and from you,

our lord. Her scarlet silks and satins swirled with every gust of wind. Two come forth today to join their lives so they may face this world's darkness together fill their hearts with fire my lord so they may walk your shining path hand in hand forever lord of light protect us cried queen talise other voices echoed the response what was was that? That sounds like- That was very-

That was southern. Very southern. It sounds- I think it sounded right. I think I nailed it. The couple stands across from Melisandre on the other side of the ditch where the fire burns. Selyse, Shireen, and Patchface stand behind them like bobblehead goths. Shireen is wrapped in furs.

Oh my god, it's the cutest thing ever. It's the best scene in the whole chapter. It reminds me of another Baratheon wrapped in furs. Well, not really a Baratheon, I guess. A Lannister. It reminds me of Tommen wrapped up in his clothes in the training yard in Winterfell, but Shireen is wrapped in furs

and she's very stout and round and puffy with little smoke puffs of white coming from her face where the scarf is wrapped all around. I imagine them as like, you know, those squishables, those like big round plushes. Yes. I love it. She's just like a little bear cub. She is.

it reminds me of how sansa is wrapped up in a storm of swords when she is wrapped up all tightly in her blue and white rabbit furs and just like a little puffy bear i love it i love winter being here yeah just because shireen's precious the queen's men surround them and a few of the night's watchmen have come to watch as well with more looking down from the rooftops and windows on the display. It's not crashing the wedding, they're invited. Yeah, but going to the wedding is making a choice. Yeah. And the choosing has always been hard. Oh my god.

John takes mental notes of who was there and who was not, because yeah, some of them actually had chosen not to come out of disapproval. For example, Othell Yarwick and Bowen Marsh. Septon Chael, though, who is not the same as Septon Salador, watches briefly from the sept, but then as soon as Melisandre starts reading her prayers,

he heads back inside. Yeah, I mean, to him, this is heresy. It's one thing to accept the old gods, like, that's one thing to be like, all right, you freaking weirdos with your weird trees. Sure, whatever. But accepting this big red god, that's heresy. Yeah, especially because she goes around burning his gods.

Yeah. She raises her hands and the fire leaps toward them to meet the snowflakes. The ditch fire leapt upward through her fingers like a great red dog springing for a treat. This reminds me almost of the show when she did this at the trenches of winterfell in season eight it's interesting that you see that because my image was clifford the big red dog but we all look up at the same books and see so many different things yeah i think i'm you know'm the Makoro, as in I'm reading it right. Great Red Dog, Clifford, springing for a treat.

Interesting. So Melisandre prays once more. Oh, Lord of Light, we thank you, she's saying to the hungry flames. We thank you for brave Stannis. By your grace, our king, guide him and defend him, R'hllor. Protect him from the treacheries of evil men and grant him strength to smite the servants of the dark. Grant him strength, answered Queen

Selyse and her knights and ladies. Grant him courage. Grant him wisdom. Was that better? Yes, we should actually have intentionally started including more Selyse quotes. Apparently. Miss opportunities. I don't know, yours was great though. We gotta have another

one of those. Wow. I'd like another couple of those. By praying for Stannis at the Nightfire, this marriage kind of shows that it's not just about R'hllor blessing them, it's also about Stannis. They're blessed not only by R'hllor, but by

Stannis' campaign for Kang in the way that Selyse and Melisandre pray about Stannis uh they're blessed not only by relore but by stannis's campaign for king in the way that salise and melisandre pray about stannis here yeah i think that's a really good point and on one hand it's great for for them for alice right but uh it doesn't look good for john not so much meddling it looks really bad for john really bad alice is growing impatient and asks john how much longer she says she'd like to die in the snow a woman wed at worst there are some weddings that are too long yeah absolutely and melisandre is starting to carry on a little bit here she's being repetitive she said this shit at the beginning of the chapter like we already know you worship stannis and relore let's get over it

melisandre calls alice forward and he who she would be joined with it's still a mystery at this point i think it's very well crafted that george keeps it a mystery for a little bit john turned to alice karstark my lady are you ready? Yes. Oh, yes. You're not scared. The girl smiled in a way that reminded John so much of his little sister that it almost broke his heart. Let him be scared of me. The snowflakes were melting on her cheeks, but her hair was wrapped in a swirl of lace that Satin had found somewhere, and the snow had begun to collect there, giving her a frosty crown. Her cheeks were flushed in red and her eyes sparkled.

Winter's lady. John squeezed her hand. Right before this, I want to say quickly, this imagery feels Night Queen-ish. Mmm, with the frosty crown. Yeah, that's it. That's all. My follow-up to that is, we know where that lace came from. Satin.

Is it? It's gotta come from satin. I mean, I don't know. It could have come from... He might have found it amongst all of the, you know, Selyse's ladies and so forth. I mean, he gets along, as we see, with some of Selyse's, like, not the noble women. But he could have, like, talked to one of them and been like, yo, steal me a lace, please. I prefer the idea that he just has bolts of beautiful fabric hanging around in his chambers.

Yeah, he could have just become a merchant. As far as weddings go, this is obviously one of the happiest weddings in this book. Just a handful of chapters before, we had Jane and Ramsay's wedding, which was a very horrible affair. Fuck. Right? Daenerys and Hizdar's marriage is happening as well, just a couple chapters before. In contrast to those, Alice's wedding to Sigourn may be to escape a terrible fate. We've seen a horror echo of this in some of the earlier books, like Donella Hornwood or the later Jane.

of this in some of the earlier books, like Donella Hornwood or the later Jane, but when they jump over that ditch together, Alice and Sigourn, it's like taking a leap to faith, much like Theon's about to do in his chapters. Alice is setting aside her personal wants, her childish dreams of marrying the Stark of Winterfell, and she does her duty to ensure her and her people's survival. She's carrying on the legacy of her house and trying to do what's right at the same time, remaining open-minded in light of her new husband. Daenerys and Alys's weddings, being next to each other, are similar. They marry their new husbands for peace for their people. But for Daenerys, it's a little different. This is what I wanted, what I worked for. This is why I married Hizdar. Why does it taste so much like

defeat? Alice and Sigourn have similarly aligned interests and ideas, where Hizdar and Daenerys are very different. Alice and Sigourn's wedding feels a bit more hopeful, like Rosalind and Edmure seem to be with each other at their wedding, a chance at uniting two parties who have previously been at odds, uniting two people. But the biggest thing to take from this is that it's a political marriage. That's what it has in common with the marriages we just talked about. It's a political marriage done through a religion not commonly accepted in the North in the middle of a huge PR fuck-up. Like, the whole thing about Alison Sigourney's marriage is that

it's like Rosalind and Edmure's marriage. It's like Daenerys and Hizdar's marriage. That's marriage is that it's like rosalind and edmure's marriage it's like denarius and hisdar's marriage that's the problem it's like that it's a political wheeling and dealing yeah there's a commercial break for stannis in the middle of it yeah yeah that's true and i i think i almost wonder because we see the way people act at the reception in a bit. And everyone's like pretty happy. It's like, as you were saying, this is like the one last happy thing

before the rest of John's chapters. And I wonder if that's why you have the commercial break for Stannis of like, look, political marriage, but Stannis will bring you more weddings and happy times. If you vote for Stannis. Yeah, Stannis, the guy you associate with great parties and happy weddings and it's like that's not it's not the narrative he usually pushes this is false advertising yeah yeah but he's branching out especially because if he was there he'd be like i don't know whatever

sure man he would have made this party really lame if you think about it. Yeah, he would have married her to Patrick. No, he wouldn't. Because remember, John says to Axel, right, that Axel says, Sir Patrick feels he would have made a better match for Lady Alice. His lands were lost to him when he came north. And John says, there are many in this hall who have lost far more than that, and more have given up their lives in service to the realm. Sir Patrick should count himself fortunate. And Axel Florence smiled. The king might say the same if he were here right so i think i mean stannis wouldn't have made the choice to marry alice to a wildling but

he also probably wouldn't have picked sir patrick yeah maybe massie she could do worse yeah yeah i mean as you and i have discussed before you have a huge crush on justin massie so maybe i just like the justins justin massie j nope that that guy's named jason jason mallister never mind do you have a crush on jason mallister i didn't think you had a crush on him he seems like a dad oh my god so we finally get the reveal of who alice carstark is marrying and it is the magnar of then who stands by the fire in his finest battle furs and leathers and scales a bronze sword on his hip bachelorette number three behind the door his hairline makes him look older than he is but john thinks he can see the boy in him as well whether it's from the fire or if alice actually did scare him

i love that um also i like that john is the one person what like looking at the groom that's beautiful reminds me of 27 dresses oh my. Which is one of my favorite romantic comedies. Where they're all like, I love looking at the groom to see his face when he sees his bride for the first time. That's Jon right now. Melisandre asks, who brings Alice to be wed? And Jon steps forward to announce her. Melisandre then asks, who claims her? And Sigourn steps forward.

steps forward to announce her melisandre then asks who claims her and sigourn steps forward melisandre begins their vows asking sigourn will share his fires and warm her when the night is dark and full of terrors he promises his breath on the air and snow on his shoulders so sweet so tender this is actually kind of a tender one so he says to her i swear me by the red god's flames i warm her all the days and it reminds me of another marriage uh in a couple ways especially with the stars and sun imagery earlier like what you were saying his face was a copper mask yet under the long black mustache drooping beneath the weight of its gold rings she thought she glimpsed the shadow of a smile. Is good name, Daenerys' wife, moon of my life, he said.

Hmm. Similar, just in framing. Also a political marriage. Exactly. Absolutely. Melisandre turns to Alice, then, and repeats the questions. And Alice says she will share her fires with Sigourn and keep him warm when the night is dark and full of terrors.

But her response isn't saying all that. She says, till his blood is boiling. Amazing. Her maiden cloak, we'll touch on in a bit, is a Night's Watch cloak. And the sunburst of Karstark is created out of the lining fur, which is white. Melisandre beckons them forward through the flames, and they hold hands and leap the ditch of flames. Two went into the flames, one emerges.

What fire joins, none may put asunder. The queensmen, fens, and even a few of the black brothers repeat back, What fire joins, none may put asunder. Thank you. fire joins, none may put asunder. Thank you. As much as we get that welded imagery of ice and fire throughout these novels, the wedding is very

much like a forge. With Azor Ahai's forging of Lightbringer, the marriage being forged in light of the Lord in love is a great imagery. But the happy new couple who has forged a new family, house, and new alliances gets to skip over the flame emerging from it fleeting and missing it not everyone gets to survive their wedding to the

flames yeah what if they fell in or they get tied to a stake and they're burned yeah that too it could happen to anyone truly like a guy you know who's into like wearing bones whatever anyway I do kind of wonder about the idea of forging meaning it can't be taken apart with the whole like cannot be put us under because I'm going to just gesture wildly at ice the sword taken apart

that's all yeah exactly what I was thinking with the forging it's very much so like this was the two swords that went in and came out as one. Yeah, but it can go in as one and come out as two. That's

like an exception, not a rule. I'm just kidding. A lot of swords can be put in and taken out as two. You don't know things, okay? So not everyone is happy about this forging of the two houses. Like Alice's uncle, Cregan. He showed up the night after Alice did

with four mounted men-at-arms, a huntsman, and a pack of dogs. Again, lots of Ramsay tones here with this whole escaping some terror. They were hunting her. John met them down on the King's Road, south of Molestown, before they showed up to ruin the wedding and try to claim guest right or ask for parlay.

One of the men shot a quarrel at Ty and he died for it, which left four men and Cregan. John had them locked in the almost vacant ice cells. The other guys are having a long sleep that are down there right now, so don't worry about it. The Thuns also have no heraldry, because heraldry ends up

the wall, so the stewards improvised and created a bride's cloak for Sigourn to lay on Lady Alice. It's a bronze disc on white wool surrounded by crimson silk flames. And it actually really echoes the Karstark sunburst but hausten also has its own design in it as well sigorn was a lot less gentle about ripping off the

maiden cloak but the bride's cloak was put on sensitively gently on her shoulders and then he kisses her cheek after the fact that her original cloak that they made for her was made of a night's watch cloak really symbolizes that political statement that the wall supported and created this marriage between the Thens and the Karstarks in a way. I love it. That cry of freedom from the oppressed. It's not a good look. The wall participating in terms of staying out of the realm,

but they are doing what's right in a manner of speaking here in housing Alice, who's being preyed on for her claim. And he does it in thinking of his sisters, who he was supposed to forget. But his sisters are out there doing things in his name while they should also be forgetting him as well. So rules schmools is what I say. He's thinking of his sisters who he didn't want someone marrying off to randoms too. It's interesting, but I do like that point. I'm

just thinking that the wall could rent itself out as a wedding venue if it needed some extra cash. There's also the aspect of Jon noting that the sigil right for House Den is heavily inspired by House Karstarek and mirrors it. And I mean, it's a house that's created to an extent to forge this alliance, but also, like, who's going to be ruling house then? Who's going to be really ruling Sigourn? Yeah, Alice will for sure. She will for sure be. Sigourn's ready. He needs it, truly.

He wants it. Sometimes they just want that, you know? That's fine to want that. Yeah. Nothing wrong with that sigourn no i'm not shaming you i like it i'm into it john and molly and owen exit the ceremony john needing to address matters with salise first before attending festivities and getting mulled wine he walks towards salise noting how difficult it is to cross the snow-packed grounds each day

and the wormways those underground tunnels, are becoming of more use. Solis is telling anyone who will listen how beautiful the ceremony was, and how Stannis still hasn't allowed her to have a ceremony to renew their vows under R'hllor, even though it would surely boost her fertility. Sure,

Jan. And the big joke here, of course, is that even at the wall it's common knowledge Stannis wants nothing to do with banging Selyse anymore. Also, Stannis is a practical man, and he knows a whole wedding shindig, while great for morale,

would not work mid-war while he's trying to win over a nation. Yeah, but I mean, like, no, that didn't work well for them. I was gonna be like, it worked great for things about it none of the previous they all are uh end up being very intense weddings

Catelyn and Rob a wedding could really boost the morale also the Lannisters Joffrey and all of them Tyrion and Sansa ha ha ha ha ha that was not a boost in morale at all for anyone

I think this wedding was a good boost in morale but anyway boost in morale to kill Jon yeah that's true Jon has a lot of really great side thoughts in this chapter one of them here is he's like Stannina says to

get in bed with Slyze first. It's gonna boost her fertility. Like, step one. Have sex. Jon tries to usher Slyze to the feast, and she's like, uh, no, Melisandre can show me the way. But Melisandre's

like, no I can't. I gotta tend to the night fires. sleaze is like oh uh-oh how am i gonna find my way now yeah she couldn't possibly just walk across the yard to the great hall i mean that would be too easy she's been here a while now right like how hard can it be if you're there for like a week you have no excuse it's just lazy at this point there's like three usable rooms right everything else you can't go into john offers satin to guide them and maligord is like we don't need that boy and there was a pause and john fills in the blank in his head about what Malagorn wanted to probably say.

Yeah, more like the blanks because there were a lot of words that he probably wanted to say. Yeah. And he said, hold on, boy. It's okay. Yeah. John watches the royal ducklings fall into line

as they cluck off to the feast. Patchface's bells are ringing as they go and he sings a song. Under the sea, the mermen feast on starfish soup and all the serving men are crabs i know i know oh oh oh little speculation on this one this is my spicy take on it i i've finalized a spicy take i think the starfish in this song are akin to the bolton's flayed man with the limbs extended. The crabs switch over to the merman's side while scavenging at Winterfell,

when the merman serves starfish soup. Yeah, I think that makes sense to me. Yeah. So, my good friend Hamfast42, some of you may know his essay, The Quiet Lion. You may also know that he is a big love of crabs he might have speculated that the crabs were referring to ice spiders that's that's one of his theories that the ice spiders are crabs but i don't know i just wanted to shout him out with crabs so yeah he uh had a great panel last year with sir dunk the lunk at ice and fire con they

did the tinfoil panel and it was very fun. Yeah, it was. They had tinfoil hats and everything. The only people that could ever do that panel. Melisandre gossips to Jon about Patchface, saying he's dangerous and that she sees him in her fires with skulls about him and blood-red

lips. Concerned about Stannis' fate, since they dispatched a bird to warn him of the Karstarks, Jon comments that she's seeing Patchface, but not talking about Stannis. Tycho had also left to find Stannis with the guards Jon offered, but the winter is raging so hard he's starting to think it's unlikely he'll reach him. Melisandre says Stannis has to be alive because he's the chosen one, Azor Ahai reborn. Jon thinks that's kind of doubtful because Stannis has to be alive because he's the chosen one, Azor Ahai reborn. Jon thinks that's kind of doubtful because Stannis is a stag and not a dragon.

What does it mean? What does it mean? Also in the context of Jon, we don't know that he's Azor Ahai reborn. He's obviously one of the candidates and I'm just throwing it out there. Apparently you don't have to be alive to be a candidate. it out there apparently you don't have to be alive to be a candidate i controversial take feel like it's silly to assume one person actually is azor ahai i also feel that way cool glad we're on the same page and that doesn't even mean that there's several it's also kind of like maybe azor ahai was just azor ahai at the time of when azor ahai was azor Ahai. Yeah, I also think that, like,

I don't know that we're ever going to get the answer, you know? Yeah, agreed. Or I prefer that. I think it's more Azor Ahai's actions are something that directly did or did not cause something. So I think that's where the important part is to look at. Yeah. You know, like, something Azor Ahai did

is what they should be replicating, or what someone will replicate, not necessarily being Azor Ahai did is what they should be replicating or what someone will replicate not necessarily being Azor Ahai. Yeah, for sure. Reincarnation doesn't seem like it's an established thing in this universe. No. Mel can't see Mance either.

Just snow. Ah, snow, Ned! I was thinking the same. What does it mean? Oh. Ned sweating bullets from beneath the grave. But she sees Jon too, and the danger

that he will soon be in. True. Jon tells her, oh, your flame reading isn't quite on point, because, you know what? Alice wasn't Arya. Thanks a fucking lot Mel I was real stoked she says that she's just mortal like he is and warns him to keep a ghost beside him

he takes his leave of her to check the prisoners in the very small ice cells ice has formed around Cregan Karstark in his cell which smells kinda like shit but not as bad as it could be cause it's frozen so he's like this is like this was

a benefit a benefit of the ice cells apparently later cregan carstark starts throwing his frozen shit at people who open the door it's great i hate cregan carstark but i respect the hell out of throwing frozen poo you know this is kind of building up that ice cell with the whites waiting to go off as well. He's likely gonna be in there when they're set loose, isn't he? I hope he throws his poo at them. Oh my god. That's the scene that I deserve.

Cregan tries to claim guest right, but John's like, no, you came here armed with intent to harm at the wall, and we did not invite you, in fact. And you were going to kidnap your niece. So you are not a guest. You are a prisoner. And your niece is now a woman wed.

Cregan feels like Alice is being stolen from him. Interesting. And begins to talk about the promises his lord father had made. Hold on, I'm going to quickly say, interesting if he feels like Alice is being stolen from him. Because that's what the wildlings do right yeah absolutely bail the bard huh it's all juxtaposed really well against robin the

karstarks right it was no murder sir said lord rickard karstark no more discomfited by the ropes about his wrists than by the blood that trickled down his face. Any man who steps between a father and his vengeance asks for death. A storm of swords, Catelyn III. It goes really well when we consider the Karstarks have been set up as kin to the Starks early as Bran VI in A Game of Thrones. Jon helping Alice is a betrayal to Cregan, but to Jon, not helping Alice would be worse than betrayal and hurting his kin. He's affected here also by when Cregan says his lord father. It seems that kind of triggers him to immediately go darker at Cregan about it.

Yeah, because John then corrects him. He's like, your father wasn't a lord, he was a castellan. And then he gives him a whole lesson on succession. It's like, a son comes before an uncle by all laws also daughters come before uncles as well and again alice and sigurd have married now and carhold is alice's well it's it's her brother's but he's like it's gonna go to alice so too bad cregan sucks to suck yeah and cregan is displeased at all this and he's displeased at the filthy murdering wildling that alice has married john surveys his proud northern wear emblazoned with the sunburst of carhold and then cregan says to him i see what you are snow Half a wolf and half a wildling. Baseborn get of a traitor and a whore.

You would deliver a highborn maid to the bed of some stinking savage. Did you sample her yourself first? Ah ha ha ha, he laughed. If you mean to kill me, do it and be damned for a kinslayer. Stark and Karstark are one blood. My name is Snow. Bastard. Guilty of that, at least.

I do enjoy Jon's smugness here. Because I think we're seeing once again something that we've seen in previous chapters, where Jon has a very, very intense knowledge of inheritance. Because for him him it was a matter of survival in lady catlin's household he's internalized all of these so that he may never be accused of going against or hurting his siblings and so he's snubbing his nose at cregan who had some rights as a true-born noble not not to inheritance like right away but for being overgreedy and overstepping when he a bastard who is constantly accused of jealousy and of wanting to steal things before

he's ever even done anything refused winterfell and this actually reprises itself and it's in his conversation with axel floren in a bit but um going off of what chloe was saying about family like you know john calls himself snow here and claims that as a sort of way to deny that blood shared with house carstark and kind of absolve himself of any responsibility to cregan um but he does as you said uh feel much more responsible to alice he brings up alice also brings up their blood ties, but she does more than that. She brings up their blood feud and is like, so are we chill? And I think part of it comes down to, yeah, John's being selective about it and like who's family and who's not here. But a lot of it, I think, has to do with Alice resembling Arya. And that's why John feels like Alice is more a family to him.

He keeps like seeing Arya in her, and he even notes these snowflakes on Alice's cheeks and in her hair as he's about to give her away to be wed, which is one of John's strongest and last memories of Rob, right? The snowflakes melting in his hair. And then he remembers it about Sam, too, and says it to Sam, the snowflakes are melting in his hair, because he sees Sam also as his brother, his new brother.

So that recurrence of like that motif of snowflakes in the hair shows that John feels familial towards Alice. And that's why he protects her. Yeah, this is a great exploration of these familial bonds with John, right? It's not just about Sansa and Arya and Bran and Rickon and Rob. It's about the North in general. He feels bonded to the North. John really is at home in the North. And I think that's what the biggest shame of watching him at Castle Black, making these choices is, is because he's good at it. He's doing a really good job of, you know, making political alliances, securing grain and political dealings with tyco to make

sure that his people quote-unquote are going to be safe uh the problem is just it's the wrong time and place and setting we're seeing him face once more an enemy who's against him in that same way marsh or thorn seemed to be against him even using the same pathos and insults when speaking to him right talking about his dad uh the way kar stark is insulting ned and john's unknown mother speaks volumes just like kar stark with rob lord kar stark looked instead at catalan tell your mother to look at them he said she slew them as much as i catalan put a hand on the back of rob's seat the hall seemed to spin about her she felt as though she might retch and of course later on there's a mother's folly lord karstark rounded on lord umber i name it treason the karstarks really like trying to you know take

things as far as they can yeah very critical of the stark rain yeah every now and then i'm like it's kind of a stretch kind of a stretch uh when they make some of these claims uh there was something that you said about john doing a fairly good job you know like it's as you said just the wrong time and place like the wall is not the best place to be doing some of these politics and but we know that he's right in a lot of ways partially because we have his own pov and it kind of makes me start to question like how many of the lord commanders in the past right like jr mormont was mutinied against but how many like lord commanders in the past that were accused of trying to become

a king beyond the wall or overstepping right how many of them really were or how many of them were like actually like just trying to do progressive things and everyone was like i don't like that absolutely it's a great point it's just a question probably many maybe i mean you have all of your rights stripped away from you you're living in this penal colony yeah pretty much and i mean maybe some of them also tried to be like what if we had peace with the wildlings what if that was a thing that we were into? Yeah, what if? Especially much earlier on, when the wall just happened to be there. Anyway, Cregan plays tough, saying Carhold won't stand Sigurd

there. But Jon checks him in this too, telling him that the castle will fall to Sigurd's two hundredth ends. They're all really intense warriors. Also, Alice has already networked into the castle, because if you yield the castle the men can take the black and the ladies

will be pardoned also doesn't he say he's like some of the guys that you came with are like yeah we pledged to Alice it's chill yeah I think so yeah Cregan's not into this no he's not happy at all he is not down with this plan he says he'll never go for it he will not

fall to them and john is starting to get a little fed up and the dragon kind of comes out he thinks i should make his head a wedding gift for lady alice and her magnar john thought but dare not take the risk the night's watch took no part in the quarrels of the realm. Some would say he had already given Stannis too much help. Behead this fool, and they will claim I am killing Northmen to give their lands to wildlings. Release him, and he will do his best to rip apart all I've done with Lady Alice and the Magnar. Jon wondered what his father would do, how his uncle might deal with this. But Eddard Stark was dead dead benjamin stark lost in the frozen

wilds beyond the wall you know nothing john snow so i like what i like about this is john doesn't wonder what rob would do because we know what rob would do he would behead lord rickard carstar he would the whole uh making a head uh making cregan's head a wedding gift for lady alice kind of reminds me of joffrey for a second a little bit yeah being like i should gift you your brother's head sansa not very becoming of a king john no but i don't know it's just funny john decides to leave cregan's fate up to stanis he's like you're just gonna stay in prison you're just here now figure it out later

play it by ear unless you decide to take the black cause you can and it'll wipe all your crimes away then he leaves he's like I'm gonna go back to the reception and he arrives where Axel Florent is toasting R'hllor I want to take a moment to pause and talk about just some of the food

just to get everyone in the festive food spirit this holiday onion broth with bits of goat and carrot coarse warm brown bread like the kind you get at a outback steakhouse i was thinking the same kind yeah the sweet kind you know what i'm talking about what is that called i don't know i want to say it's a pumpernickel but But that with salt and butter, which, of course, they're pretty sad. John's especially sad because the butter is going to be gone soon. Rations are almost gone. The heads of houses Flint and Norrie attended in place of honor, having sent their kin with Stannis to Winterfell.

They brought their own wet nurses as well, and Monster was content, and their own fighting men, too. I will say, I think that the onion broth with bits of goat and carrot, or a version of it, is in the A Feast of Ice and Fire. Yes, it is. So, if you need holiday dish ideas,

check out A Feast of Ice and Fire. Anyway, I do think it's interesting. We don't hear much about the heads of either House Flint or Nori until Dance. It's wild to me because we've heard of House Flint and Nori since Clash for Flint and Storm for Nori. There are a few named members and a lot of them are from Bran chapters. Bran and Jon's stories obviously intersect quite a bit, though indirectly, so it's interesting to see that Jon's dance chapters kind of pick up on the politics where some of Bran's political

class chapters left off. Gonna do a quick overview of House Flint here. House Flint, interestingly, has cadet branches. You wouldn't think about it, right? Because they don't sound like, I don't know, they're like super big. They're over far in the mountains as a mountain clan, but they are.

We have old Flint who is here, who has a name. It's Torgan Flint, and he's from the First Flints, which I think is the most prestigious of the Flint houses. He has two sons from two different wives, or the ones who went with Stannis. And then you have House Flint of Widow's Watch and House Flint of Flint's Finger. And we hear of House Flint first. The first named member we get is Robin Flint,

who went south with Rob and died back in Game of Thrones, and was possibly Lord of Flint's Finger. Not sure, not confirmed. Then we hear of the next we hear of of Flint is Lady Liesa, who is Robin's mother, but she is I think from Widow's Watch or is there.

And she doesn't go to Bran's Harvest Feast because she's heavy with child and there's sickness at Widow's Watch. Interestingly, as far as I know, this child is never chronicled in the wiki and we don't hear anything about it since then. So what happened to the baby? Lady Liesa, did your pregnancy go well? Did it not? Was it worth it to not go to the Harvest Feast? Tweet us, girl. Yeah, questions for George.

This is a bunch of other questions. Questions for Liesa. Yeah, I've started writing these down, you know, along with the fate. What is the fate of Lucerys II? Ares II's master of ships. I think that these are questions George would actually be willing to answer. down, you know, along with the fate. What is the fate of Lucerys II? Ares II's master of ships? I think that these are questions George would actually be willing to answer. So, you know,

trying to get us, trying to get us like actual hits of information. It's not, not anything anyone cares about except for me. We also have a possible flint that died at the mutiny at Craster's Biome Flint. Then moving on to House Nori, I swear we do not hear of a single specific living nori until this book until dance which is wild to me all right we have like owen nori who was dead by the time we heard of him slain at the red wedding the nori that we have here who is called the nori in the same way that ned was called the ned right like this is just a um part of the dialect in the north uh flint is old flint right so this the nori is brandon nori but it's not really helpful to tell you this because turns out his son is also named brandon nori so we have the brandon nori and we have just a brandon nori in case you were wondering

I wonder if they call all of the Brandons throughout Stark history the Brandon oh they must or the Bran the Bran that would get so confusing especially if they're talking about like Harvest they'd be like the Bran and they'd be like the Bran they'd be like no the Bran both houses Flint and Norrie

have intermarried with House Stark at one point or another later in this chapter Jon references his father's grandmother, so the Ned's grandmother, if you will, who is a Flint, Arya Flint. No, I'm Chloe. who is the mother of Liara, who is the mother of Ned and his siblings, and likely is who Arya Stark in the current day is named after. Interestingly, both Flint and Nori houses are candidates of the heritage of the Night's King. We actually even have like a Lord Roderick Flint, who is a former Lord Commander and tried to establish himself as a king beyond the wall i'm a little curious though about house flint partially because of their name and like them being here right like in proximity with like a religion that has a god associated with fire and flint is of course known

to be one of those things that people like use to help start fires is there something going on here that we're gonna see that's important about them i I don't know. And of course, one last thing with like brave Danny Flint, right? Who is dressed as a boy to join the Night's Watch and then discovered and raped at the Night Fort. Bad things happen at the Night Fort. And both of these houses also hate wildlings a lot because of where they are located. They're the ones who bear the brunt of the wildling attacks

that include that looting, murdering, and carrying off of their women. Yes, absolutely. So it's a lot to be wary of while they visit here, a lot to try to pull off and impress them about. This marriage might not be as happy. They might not be as many eyes of the old gods on it as Flint and Nori may be wanting, but whether they're open-minded to the marriage or just thirsty and loving the southern wine, no one had spilled wine about the wedding yet. People continue to dance on the dance floor. Selyse and Axel, knights and the ladies,

Shireen with Bruce, Narbert with the ladies. There are very few ladies, so even serving girls are being brought into the mix. Even some of the brothers, like Ulmer of the Kingswood, could dance. We have this quote. That, like Ulmer of the Kingswood, could dance. We have this quote. That old rogue Ulmer of the Kingswood proved as adept at dancing as he was at archery, no doubt regaling his partners with his tales of the Kingswood Brotherhood when he rode with Simon Toyne and Big Belly Ben and helped Wenda the White Fawn burn her mark in the buttocks

of her highborn captives. Satin was all grace, dancing with three her mark in the buttocks of her highborn captives satin was all grace dancing with three serving girls in turn but never presuming to approach a highborn lady so the kingswood brotherhood was a group of outlaws during aries ii's reign if you don't remember they kidnapped nobles and aries ii sent kingsguard to shut them down but the small folk protected them there was a song sung about their uh their oh tom foolery i guess we could call it no man's gold was from them nor any maiden's hand oh the brothers of the kingswood that fearsome outlaw band arthur dane had to charm the small folk to obtain their locations and ended up petitioning the king for better laws for the small folk because of all

this. Ulmer was a fearsome archer back then who helped brand people with Wenda, like the quote suggested, including and not limited to Merit Frey. I thought that was a great tidbit. Yes. I forgot about that. Wenda's weird. Yeah, absolutely. Patrick watches Ulmer dance and obviously hates him. Very obviously. He wants to fight. Owen the Oaf and Patchface dance together, which makes Alice smile. She and John have some warm chatter about dancing at Castle Black, which happens apparently only when there are weddings.

He jokes. She offers John a dance as Sigourn isn't really a dancer, but John doesn't wish to intrude, so she requests a glass of wine from him instead. She speaks to him about her husband and his army, calling them wildlings, but Jon corrects her and educates her on the Thend's old history and the Free Folk. They have lords and laws coming from a hidden vale at the north end of the Frostfangs. end of the frost fangs. Mance head to best Sigourn's father three times before he was accepted as king, and they make tin and copper for bronze and forge their own weapons instead of just stealing them.

Alice jokes that she should have charmed his brother better and that it was all her fault. Jon asks how her food stores are, and she responds, not great. Yeah, I'll say I really enjoy Alice just kind kind of trying failing and look to low-key flirt with john she's joking in this instance about failing to charm rob but it really isn't all on alice at all first of all like how do you expect like what six-year-old children to be able to do this like what the fuck and then second like we know from ned's pov that it's mostly his trauma and the tragedy that befell his family because of betrothals and less about alice charming rob than like ned's aversion to early betrothals yeah absolutely it

was his own trauma yeah so there's reduced manpower at Carhold and too much rain led to the withered crop. She expects there to be a lot of dead children and older people by the end of winter. some heavy snow coming down on them. And John really empathizes with the story of what's happening at Carhold and relates to Alice by talking about Ned's grandmother, who was a flint, as we mentioned, of the mountains, where it's harsh and icy. They send their young off to serve at other houses or work in Wintertown in hopes of survival. As we've talked about before, the oldest go hunting and are found in spring or not. The Karstarks' land is cold and infertile enough in winter that they too send their men out to hunt, is what we learn from this. Their people are not that different.

He offers Alice help when their stores dwindle and offers refuge for her older men, or her unable to say the word, and get food. They'll take boys, too. Yeah, so through this, we've seen that it's not just Night's Watch customs that Jon is trying to change here, it's Northern custom. I think that'll be hard as well because, I mean, I can't really say that this custom of men, old men

going out in the middle of winter so that their family will have more food is new, but it's like definitely more you. It's not something that was inherent to the first men right it's something that likely only arose after the long night because otherwise there's that whole risk of them coming back as zombies but whatever john is just really trying to make ends meet here because yes they have food at the night's watch and he knows that people will be desperate but like a few paragraphs ago he was like we're gonna start running out of butter bow and marsh has been

telling him we're running out of food they have salt at least boy do they have salt he's giving the men and the boys a place to go um not just for more hands for the night's watch but also because the more of them that go out there and die, the more of them end up coming back as wights. It's kind of like a backup, just in case. He's really hoping that we don't get to that point where they cross the wall. I just don't know how many are

even going to take up Jon's offer because this isn't a part of wildling culture. They're used to harder climates already, so they don't go out in the middle of winter to go die. This is something we hear from a couple of northern Westerosi throughout that area.

And it's a big tradition that I think is also rooted in a pride aspect. And we see that the northerners do have a lot of pride, so I kind of wonder if people are going to have a hard time overcoming that and overcoming that, and overcoming that tradition, and it

could end up still leading to some refusal to joining the Night's Watch, and therefore more wights south of the Wall. Yeah. Especially after the Wall falls. Either way, it's making your own enemies. Yeah. So back at the feast, Elk is being carved, and Jon

decides to send some, first, the very first portions, to Hardin's tower, some to Leather's, three platters of roast vegetables to one one, and then he finally cuts a slice for himself. men brought every dish to Bran first, that he might take the lord's portion if he chose. By the time they reached the ducts, he could eat no more. After that, he nodded approval at each course in turn and waved it away. If the dish smelled especially choice, he would send it to one of the lords on the dais, a gesture of friendship and favor Maester Lewin told him he must make. Jon's exercising one of the lessons he's learned in Winterfell, but who he's sending it to and who he's thinking of first is extremely telling here. He sends it to Leathers and One-One. By sending them that first portion, the Lord portion, he's saying they are his honored, respected brothers. And that's great to us, but it's something his brethren at Castle Black might not appreciate so much.

Yeah, I think that's a really good point. I didn't even think about that. Three-Fingered Hob is the one who made the meal, and it was made quite well, but Jon has a concern in his mind of Hob's reaction when he was asked to cook the wedding. Hob had come to him two nights ago, complaining that he'd joined the Night's Watch to kill wildlings, not to cook for them. Besides, I never done no wedding feast, my lord. Black brothers don't never take no wives. It's in the bloody vows, I swear it is.

Was it Hannah that we had on recently from Game of Owns that was saying that Three Finger Hob from the very beginning, there were hints that he was part of the betrayal? I think it was Hannah. I can't remember who, but somebody was on with us and said that. And more and more, as I read this, points to Three Finger Hob being on the unhappy side. Yeah. I mean, he's right here. He's probably like, he's unhappy, but he's not like Bowen Marsh or Othell Yarbrick.

He's like, yeah, I agree with that. When they probably come to him with a plan or something. Yeah, absolutely. Clydus appears with a letter for John, sealed with hard black wax. John already knows it's Cotter Pike's words from Eastwatch in Maester Harmoon's letter. Eleven ships set sail from Eastwatch for Hardhome, three Bravosi, four Lycini, four Watch ships, and two Lycini ships that were just barely seabound.

He thinks he'll drown more free folk than save, and says he'll send reports. Alice asks John dark wings, dark words, of the news he received, who says it was what he was waiting for, but inside, he's troubled. Glendon Hewitt is who has been left in charge of Eastwatch, a crony of Jan O'Slint and Alistair Thorns briefly, and John recalls the harassment he suffered from Glendon Hewitt. If you recall, Hewitt pulled John from his bed a few books ago and called him a betrayer. He also kicked him a few times. Yeah, that too.

For good measure. Not nice. No, I could see John's concern, but you know, at least he and Cotter Pike still sending letters. Love letters. As the fish course is served, Alice finally drags a drunk Sigurd onto the dance floor. He's like, all right, I'll do it. He dances. He's not very good at it.

But he's confident. Yeah. He's like, all right, I'll do this for you. Alice is the true head of the house. I will say until this moment, though, her wedding kind of reminded me a little, like, of Sansa's. Yeah. With all of her not dancing, even though she wants to. Yeah. Yeah.

No sooner than Alice vacates her seat does Axel Florence sit in it, commenting on Selyse's approval of the wedding and saying Stannis would agree as well. But Patrick does not, he says, thinking he deserves Alice more than Sigourn does, as he lost his lands in aiding Stannis. Axel diplomatically states Patrick may be overreaching himself, but the knights surely deserve a reward for their good behaviors. He thinks Selyse would be most pleased if Val was wed to one of the queen's men soon, and Jon is fucking exhausted because she's not a princess, and he has no energy to keep explaining this. Axel goes on to describe val as a

sexy prize for the taking and impregnating and john's like so who would be putting these babies in her hypothetically you or patrick and axel's like me a florant of course this upjumped motherfucking swear to fucking god shit just another auto ass high tower up in this motherfucker just trying to supplant himself yeah but it's even worse because he's like i almost wonder if he just wouldn't even care if she were a princess or not he's just trying to he's not even interested in the position i think as much as he's just interested in like yeah trying to fuck val. It's so gross. Yeah, it's a little... Yeah.

He gets real mad at John. He's like, so you're fucking her? And he's like, you want to keep her all to yourself? And he's like, no. I could if I wanted. Every now and then she sends me signals, bruh. She's like, I think she's into me, but I'm... No. John's out there like, she's into me but i'm no john's out there like she's holding me hostage what are you talking about actually though he's like i'm not i don't even know what she's doing she scares me a little and he's like but i'm it's true that is my type

he's also like axel straight up planned the wedding already he's like melisandre will say the marriage right it's like i have royal gardener blood it's perfect it's gonna be a perfect marriage and john's like this is great but you would also need val for this to happen and the jig is totally up right axel's like where'd you got her is she in another castle perhaps and john's like no your princess is literally in another castle axel yeah the castle of the wilderness she's gonna come back she's gonna kick your ass i hope so i'm really waiting for that axel even goes as far to insult john and say that he wants his father's seat even though john's obviously refused this all he had to do was ask stannis for it back if he really wanted to i just want to say that would piss off axel

so much to learn that Jon of all people was just offered Winterfell. And just said no. Yeah. I mean that right there is like the mirror of Erised bro. Like only the person who doesn't want it can have it. Yeah. Jon makes to excuse himself and as he

does he's interrupted by two blasts of the war horn signaling Tormund Gi giants babes arrival at last i like the commitment to calling them torment giants babe it's the canon name it is the canon name i don't know how george could just like end it on this you know yeah chapter it's almost like we should have done there's a part of me that's like oh i kind of wish we had done too but also like do you want to die no. I honestly think it's perfect. It's a perfect suspense build.

Like you leave the wedding, you're like, all right, John's going back to his chambers, shit's going, you know, normal. And then all of a sudden it's... It's Wedding Crashers. Oh my God, Torment Giants, babe. Wedding Crasher. Kinda.

That is actually what's happening here if you think about it. I love it. Well, it'll be a couple weeks before you get to hear what happens with Tormund Giants, babe. So stay tuned for that. We are off next week for the holiday.

Even girls need a break. You know? Yeah, we did take a break last year, everyone. We worked through the pain last year. So this year, we're vacationing. Mom's on vacation. By that we mean we have a His Dark Materials episode coming out that week. And a Patreon episode the next week, too.

That's true. So keep your eyes peeled for all of those. If you are looking for a series and you haven't been following the His Dark Materials series, and you want something to watch over the holiday season, it's an idea. Yeah, absolutely. It's going great, and we are wrapping up our coverage on it very soon. If you want to make sure that you follow

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patrons, we do upload special monthly episodes. Last month, we uploaded an episode about House Valerian, the Dragons of the Sea. Make sure you check that out and look forward to this month's episode, where we dissect the lantern slides that feature at the

very end of each of the main novels in the His Dark Materials trilogy. As always, I have been one of your hosts, Chloe. And I have been another one of your hosts, Eliana. Thanks, guys. See you next time. Har! Oh my god.