Girls Gone Canon Cast - ASOIAF Episode 97 - AFFC The Soiled Knight

Episode Date: July 24, 2020

Another chapter, another Kingsguard flung to another place that is not King's Landing. Arys Oakheart is fighting a battle within himself, deciding how and whether to use the sword in his hand and the ...one in his pants.  --- Eliana's twitter: https://twitter.com/arhythmetric Eliana's reddit account: https://www.reddit.com/user/glass_table_girl Eliana's blog: https://themanyfacedblog.wordpress.com/ Chloe's twitter: https://twitter.com/liesandarbor Chloe's blog: www.liesandarborgold.com Intro by Anton Langhage

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to Girls Gone Canon, A Song of Ice and Fire, episode 97 the soiled knight in a feast for crows aries oakheart i am one of your hosts chloe and i am another one of your hosts eliana a one and done a hit and run here we are aries oakheart hit it and quit it like aries oakheart couldn't like he hit it and then quit life that's what he did he couldn't quit area and't Like, he hit it and then quit life. That's what he did. He couldn't quit Arianne, so he quit life instead. Hit it, then quit life. Uh, Ben, there Ares Oakheart, tragic
Starting point is 00:00:54 guy. Sad. He's a big, dumb, sad idiot. I'm sad for him because he really tried with his whole brain cell. He did. He did. And by brain cell he did he did and by brain cell himself dick tried he's like i don't know which sword to use right now he's so confused with all this sword play hey everyone we're so glad that you are here listening to a new point of view like we just said
Starting point is 00:01:21 hit it quit it aries okar one chapter wasn't even meant to be a point of view like we just said hit it quit it aries okar one chapter wasn't even meant to be a point of view honestly he was an accident in this story he was he was as you all know once upon a time george had this whole five-year gap planned um and you know instead what we all got was a real life what four-year gap then another six- year one and here we are in the year of our lord 2020 hey that's not nice our lord is george and he actually has been writing a lot lately so good for him finding inspiration he has you're right you're right i should uh give credit where credit is due positive reinforcement no honestly he's writing a lot more than i am in this here uh quarantine so go george keep it up uh i honestly i get inspired reading the soiled night that sounds really
Starting point is 00:02:15 shallow and stupid but the soiled night is good actually is the discourse i'm bringing today it actually is it's so detailed it's a good chapter that does a great job of magnifying a lot of the other things going on in the story. And I mean, Ares is kind of shitty. Um, he is, but I think that he's great and interesting because he's makes all the other characters interesting. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's a he's definitely definitely like a big dumb idiot but like you can't help but feel for the guy you know what i mean you can't help you're like oh you're so close kind of like quentin like when we read through quentin's chapters that was same thing you know you you're like oh you're gonna make some mistakes aren't ya and then he'd make him you'd be like
Starting point is 00:03:01 oh so close so close buddy yeah but I think that Aries wanted to make mistakes. Orgasms. He wanted to make orgasms. He wanted to make mistakes and he's like, I'm going to make some more mistakes. And yeah, he just couldn't accept the fact that, you know, he wanted to have sex and that's okay yeah i mean i mean it's not his sister so and we will definitely be addressing some of those very heavy jamie parallels sans the incest sans the snakes uh but first the sand snakes we do have some housekeeping we aren't gonna pull any tweets or emails of note for this today we
Starting point is 00:03:53 will just get some announcements done and then jump in because we have a lot to cover in this aries episode it's kind of gonna be like an Aries overhaul of his whole life history, the whole nine yards, a little bit of lightning round we'll talk about soon. But first, we have had such an influx of new patrons over on Patreon, where we have an account patreon.com slash girls gone canon. We want to welcome you. We are so thrilled that you're here. You are the best and there are some new perks. I hear my little birds are telling me new perks being tossed around at Girls Gone Canon HQ for Thunder tier and above patrons. We're becoming a bit more reengaged. So stay tuned for that. That's all I can say for now.
Starting point is 00:04:39 I can't tease much more than that. But something soon something new. You'll hear about it. We're evaluating things and changing the horseshoes on some of our horses apparently that's a thing people actually had to do still do still it's not past tense it's like ask our mistress of horse raj she would she would that's true lady raj mistress of horse bring her on for that horse episode is she a Sagittarius? I don't think so but you may as well ask her again yeah I mean like that would make sense you know also because part horse but regardless
Starting point is 00:05:14 for all of those horses patrons we do have a patron episode for July and this month is in the Song of Ice and Fire episode we have been making our way through the free cities but a patron episode for July and this month is in the Song of Ice and Fire episode. We have been making our way through the Free Cities but we're gonna take a
Starting point is 00:05:30 quick pit stop in time. Actually we cover a lot of the history of things in the Free Cities episodes but regardless we are making a pit stop and we've decided to finally continue our coverage of the
Starting point is 00:05:49 Fire and Blood Volume 1 book not all the way until the end, I know it seems like we were going to do that I can understand why you would think that because there's so little left of the book that we have been drawing out for months but we are going to do the Under the Regents chapters for Egg spelled A3G because
Starting point is 00:06:09 there's three of them and he's Egg on the third. And those are the Hooded Hand, Warpiece, and Cattle Shows. I guess that's really what it's entitled. And the Voyage of Alan Oakenfist. Yes, read up.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Under the Regents, live egg, die egg. I'm really actually kind of excited for this. I really have been enjoying the free cities, but I think we need a minute. And for those of you that have finished Fire and Blood Volume 1, you might recognize that we are going to cover Under the Regents because at the very end
Starting point is 00:06:44 of Fire and Blood comes what is arguably a very weird ending but also a very interesting ending where you learn about the lysini spring and i think that will definitely come into play when we cover lease in our free cities so we don't want to give away all of our cards yet you know keep our deck hidden just like george the man himself our wild cards maybe that's what we should do we should cover wild cards instead actually i should probably read those at some point um anyway yeah so that's what we're gonna do and of course you know there's news coming out about House of the Dragon and check out our episodes about the dance yes so we
Starting point is 00:07:30 actually have what four parts up of the dance of the dragons leading up into this part five this Under the Regents so exciting I do like this ending of Fire and Blood I was like who gives a shit about Aegon III then at the end I was like I need to know what happens to my son.
Starting point is 00:07:47 I would die for him. Well, too bad, because he's going to die for you to read about it. You know what we should do as an episode sometime? We should talk about all the different Aegons slash eggs as what kind of egg, hard-boiled, soft-boiled, poached, scrambled. Oh, well, let me tell you about Aegon Rhaegar's son. I'm done now. We can't sit around and fry eggs all day, Eliana.
Starting point is 00:08:11 We have to make do and whisk ourselves away into a lightning round. And honestly, it's pretty stormy. I don't know if I'd call it a lightning round. We are going to discuss some of Aerys' history, book to book, from A Game of Thrones to A Clash of Kings, Storm of Swords, and up until here in A Feast for Crows with a couple influential chapters, right? So we'll each take a book, we'll jump through it. We're gonna jump through it. So in The World of Ice and Fire, jump through it. So, in the world of Ice and Fire, that glorious tome, we learn
Starting point is 00:08:46 in quotes, Arry's always wanted to be a Kingsguard. He's been in the Kingsguard about a decade now. We're in 300 AC or so, modern day in the actual story of A Song of Ice and Fire, and has likely been there since 290 AC
Starting point is 00:09:02 Animal Crossing. We've been discussing this offline a little bit on how I'm guessing he's like 30 to 32 years old or like maybe like 28 to 30 somewhere in that little golden range. Because he's not going to be 16 or 17 as Eliana had pointed out. Because Jamie obviously was the youngest Kingsguard. There's nothing about Ares being a young Kingsguard. So I don't know. I'd say he's probably like 30-ish when we meet him. I agree.
Starting point is 00:09:34 That sounds right to me. But yeah, it's interesting that we don't really know. We're just kind of given this assumption and whatever. I guess it doesn't matter that much he's not that important to the story because he dies he fucking needs to know but I should add that to my list
Starting point is 00:09:54 of notes to ask George along with do the snails glow in the dark the snails are so much more important than Ares' age you really think so? you really think the snails are more important than Ares' age. You really think so? You really think the snails are more important? I mean, it could
Starting point is 00:10:09 only offer us another angle of meta-commentary that I'm already gonna make about Ares' age later anyways, so it's like, I don't know. What do I need? Confirmation from George to know I'm right? What if I needed that? God. Well. We need to know about the snails
Starting point is 00:10:27 so let's jump into aries in the books before he even gets his own soul point of view chapter we have a game of thrones where he competes in the hands tourney in 297 ac he's present in the throne room in Eddard XI when Ned is in charge on the throne. Aerys leads Sansa to her room in Sansa IV in Maegor's Holdfast when the Stark guard is slaughtered and Ned's taken captive. And he's also present in the next Sansa chapter, Sansa V, during Barristan's dismissal, and Sansa VI, where he follows Joffrey out. dismissal and Sansa 6 where he follows Joffrey out. In a clash of kings, Ares accompanies Sansa in Sansa 1
Starting point is 00:11:08 to the king's named day tourney. He says the comet is heralding Joffrey's reign as the dragon's heir and we learn that he's courteous and that he, of all of the Kingsguard, beats Sansa the softest. We also learn that he's
Starting point is 00:11:24 quite a gossip. Well, good thing no one's gossiping about you right now, Ares. In Tyrion 5, Tyrion chooses Ares Okard to be Myrcella's Kingsguard companion for Dorne. And finally, Tyrion 9, where he stands with Myrcella as they go off to Dorne before the riot happens. In A Storm of Swords, Tyrion I has Tyrion reading a letter from Aerys stating, Myrcella's safely in Sunspear and befriending Princess Arianne and Prince Trystane. In Jaime VIII, A Storm of Swords, Jaime's sworn brothers leave the chair Aerys would normally sit at vacant. And that brings us here, to A Feast for Crows,
Starting point is 00:12:05 where once upon a time, Ares' chapter didn't exist and was part of a very expansive prologue that George was writing. Then he scrapped the five-year gap and actually wrote what happened. So, the captain of the guards, Prince Doran, decides they must depart for the
Starting point is 00:12:21 Palace of the Sun. As he spent a good amount of time in the water gardens, Arya Hotha worries about the day. He'll have to kill Aerys Oakheart. The Sand Snakes all seek vengeance, so Doran must subdue them until the time is right. I really tried to draw out
Starting point is 00:12:37 all my S's there. Cersei 3. Cersei recalls the day before and during Margaery and Tommen's wedding festivities. Haunted by the memory of the Woods Witch during the feast and after Tommen almost chokes, Cersei refuses to dance with anyone. She does stew on Oraine Waters' good Valyrian looks. He looks quite like a certain silver prince she once knew.
Starting point is 00:13:03 Later, she burns the the hands tower with wildfire to conclude the night and of course this leads us into the soiled night in a feast for crows in august we will be returning to discuss more of aries's fate as we examine ario hota's point of view chapters because yes, that is our next POV. Look at that. What a seamless execution from Chloe. Thank you. Segway queen.
Starting point is 00:13:31 Not a segway queen, a segway Khaleesi. She's looking into the light. One of the lights and there's another light behind her as she looks up and she's basking. I'm glowing. She really is.
Starting point is 00:13:49 I was so proud when I saw that in our notes. It's like, amazing job, Chloe. That brings us to the part that I wrote. The Soiled Knight overview. Ares cannot decide whether to respond to duty, honor, or nipples. No need to respond to duty honor or nipples no need to respond because the
Starting point is 00:14:09 nipples sure will they speak for themselves apparently loudly and proudly everyone loud hard sharp you know that our podcast identifies explicitly. We are generally explicit. We just put the explicit on there because we cannot be held accountable for when you listen to us. Just use your best judgment always. But if you've read this chapter, which we're hoping that you have, it's going to put a lot of context around it. Maybe make it less weird for everyone involved in talking about this chapter but if you've read this chapter use your best judgment about where you're listening to this without your earbuds you know yeah yeah where you listen to it whether uh it's around other people
Starting point is 00:14:59 that you feel very close to or not you know how are you as close to them as a, are you bosom buddies with them or not? Are you breaking your nails into their back? Telling them that they are your white knight? I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure. What I do know is that it's a cool autumn night in Dorne and Ari's Oakheart
Starting point is 00:15:24 has pulled his hood up to disguise himself on the streets. Men from outside of Dorne are not welcome here. A trader from King's Landing had learned this the hard way recently from The Mob. He thinks his only crime is being from King's Landing. It's so hard to take this chapter seriously. I just want to put that out there. Okay, there's a lot of commentary, especially considering like, where we leave Aerys, the last time we like, really have a focus on him is Tyrion 9 in A Clash of Kings, which if you are listening to Nauticast,
Starting point is 00:16:01 they are doing their live streams, and they have just finished up Tyrion 9 and Clash, but literally, Aerys leaves King's Landing where this whole Lannister police state regime is, okay, pretty prominent, right? And soon Aerys is literally thinking, thank god I got out of there, that place sucked hard when I left. Aerys, your crime's not being from King's Landing. Your crime is you aid and abet an evil system. When you left King's Landing, a mob rose up in protest of this evil system that you choose to be a part of. Like, that's, that's the whole problem. Not, not just because you're from King's Landing, man. Like, coming off the tail end of Jaime in A Dance of Dragons I think the overlap is pretty strong with this whole conflicting history idea it's the
Starting point is 00:16:48 Reach versus the Dornish which is what's happening in King's Landing with well next book I would imagine with Cersei and with the Dornish that are on their way to the capital but Jaime just had the Blackwoods versus the Brackens right it's the same idea same idea
Starting point is 00:17:04 hundreds of thousands of years of just war back and forth. It feels very fitting. Yeah, Ari's Okart just really wants to feel oppressed. But as you said, like the mob is because he's with the Lannisters and things are obviously very, very tense here right now. And I mean, that's exactly the case, as you said, for Jaime. Not just between the Brackens and things are obviously very very tense here right now and I mean that's
Starting point is 00:17:25 exactly the case as you said for Jaime not just between the Brackens and the Blackwoods he's feeling it there too and he's like well gotta go talk to these Tullys anyway a lot of the way that Ares feels is built off of a lot of old prejudice because you know after all of this he immediately thinks about how disappointed his father would be to see him in dornish garb even though it's actually way more comfortable than his kingsguard outfit he thinks about some of those tapestries that were at old oak which depicts some of their rich reach history and you actually know a lot more of oak heart history than i guess ari's Oakheart's age, whatever.
Starting point is 00:18:05 But also then these specific Oakheart examples. Yeah, there's Lord Egrin, the open-handed, who was seated in splendor on this certain tapestry with the heads of a hundred Dornishmen piled around his feet. So literally within this first paragraph, Arius is like, I don't know why the Dornish men hate me so much. I can't understand it. And then he goes into this rich history of like, ah, yes, it's a family tradition to kill Dornish men. We have it on old tapestries from like the golden ages. Like this is probably age of heroes time this tapestry's from. There's no date attached to this story throughout the books, but I would guess it's before Agen's conquest. And same with the next story, the Three Leaves Tapestry, which is in the Prince's Pass. It's pierced by spears, and it shows a man named Alistair O'Cart sounding his war horn with his last breath.
Starting point is 00:19:02 a man named Alistair O'Cart sounding his war horn with his last breath. A lot of people think that this is a reference to the Song of Roland, an epic poem set during the reign of Charlemagne. Roland is the hero of the song, the nephew, and he leads the rearguard of the French
Starting point is 00:19:18 forces, bursts their temples by blowing his olifant horn and then he dies from wounds while facing the enemy. I think there's something in that story that, like, could be given to a lot of stuff in A Feast for Crows, right? It's a horny book, as we've discussed. It's a horny book, and this is a horny chapter. This is a very horny chapter, but I thought that was an interesting catch.
Starting point is 00:19:42 Yeah, it definitely is. That, of course, isn't't all there's something that's a little closer that we know in history something with a little more detail available in the books which is olivar the green oak a kingsguard member dying at the side of the young dragon darren one darren one if you remember gained submission from dornish nobility during his rule, but the small folk resist and rise up against him. This is really a lot of similarities with where Doran is during this chapter as well. Darren's steward is Lord Tynel Tyrell, who's supposed to stamp out rebellion but does a shitty job. 50 to 60,000 men on his watch die over the next three years,
Starting point is 00:20:23 and he ends up dying in a trap, and the uprising keeps going. This leads Daeron to come all the way back to Dorne, riding through the Boneway. Lord Alan Valerian deals with Plankytown and the Greenblood while he is on his way there. Daeron meets the Dornish under a peace banner, but he ends up assassinated, and three of his Kingsguard, including Olivar Oakheart, are slain. So pretty blatant foreshadowing of a dead Oakheart Kingsguard. Right. Pretty, pretty out there. Rip Olivar, rip Ares for sure.
Starting point is 00:20:58 Yeah, absolutely. And I think that's a good point. A lot of interesting things in the histories. Ares has a lot of history, good point a lot of interesting things in the histories Ares has a lot of history but not a lot of future. Even before Prince Oberyn had been murdered by the crown, Ares felt, this is an interesting phrasing here, Ares felt
Starting point is 00:21:17 small black dornish eyes on him, regarding him with thinly veiled hostility he just constantly thinks that the shopkeepers are trying to cheat him and that the taverners are like spitting in his drinks and i'm like interesting interesting aries it sounds like you're just projecting a lot of your fears and xenophobia onto other people um you know i i know that doran confirms like that yeah people aren't like super jazzed that you're here and also a traitor died but i'm also just like
Starting point is 00:21:50 yeah it's unamused i mean the whole chapter starts off with like i'm not racist but like that's literally the beginning of this chapter i'm just saying he's like my girlfriend's dornish my girlfriend that i'm not allowed to tell anyone about'm just saying he's like my girlfriend's dornish my girlfriend that i'm not allowed to tell anyone about is dornish why is my girlfriend embarrassed to fuck me huh i mean and he's like maybe that's why i mean it's definitely part of what gets him so hot about it but i don't know it's like well yeah obviously that and like the fetishization but also it's like why won't my girlfriend tell people we're fucking there must be something wrong is usually what you should think next aries and then that's when you go oh right i took a solemn
Starting point is 00:22:32 vow to not fuck anyone also she's the fucking princess of a fucking nation yeah and mostly mostly the vow probably and also just like just like, I don't know. She doesn't tell everyone. Arianne's not like big kiss and tell, right? That's why Darkstar is like a whole thing in her chapter. She's like, I hope that they can't tell
Starting point is 00:22:58 that I slept with both of them. Oh, they can. I mean, I think Darkstar can mean i don't think aries can yeah i think dark star can tell but like he doesn't care he's like i don't give a shit they know you know what i mean like they know like they they they're probably wrong but they think you fucked them no matter what so i think that flared up in that fight a little bit like aries was like she's never seen this man ever but she's probably fucked him i must kill him he is an inadequate mate for her i must murder it's kind of how it feels she doesn't have like the best taste in guys
Starting point is 00:23:36 but i know it's not an arian chapter but it is um no she doesn't have the best taste in guys and personality but she's got good taste physically is what it sounds like yeah no because he's a hot dumb jock i mean i get it jocks have their place both of them are yeah so so the streets have been super quiet since the sand snakes were imprisoned in a tower a la maiden vault but aries was not stupid enough to wear his white cloak in the Shadow City. He feels naked without one of his three different fashion cloaks that he brought. Two wool, one silk. But he'd rather be naked than dead. He thinks, I am a Kingsguard still, even uncloaked.
Starting point is 00:24:18 She must respect that. I must make her understand. He should never have let himself be drawn into this, but the singer said love can make a fool of any man ah aries oakheart flesh and blood like any man right and yeah speaking of men we spent a very long time talking about jamie lannister in A Song of Ice and Fire very recently for like weeks, months at a time. And it reminds me of Jaime too in A Storm of Swords when he's thinking in his conversation, you would not like the truth. He had joined the Kingsguard for love, of course. It's very romantic.
Starting point is 00:25:00 It's very much like the songs. It reminds me of Rhaegar and Lyanna in a roundabout way, perhaps because of the singers saying love can make a fool of any man. And Aerys kind of leads us back to that idea from Duncan Egg, right? With Jonquil and Florian in the play. Aerys is a knight, maybe not true nor perfect, but he's a knight. He took the vows and he's a fool too. Like that's very blatant as we know. And as we keep discussing, he's a knight he took the vows and he's a fool too like that's very blatant as we know and as we keep discussing he's a major fool you have jean-quill saying you are no knight i
Starting point is 00:25:32 know you you're florian the fool and he says i am my lady as great a fool was ever lived and as great a knight as well a fool in a night i've never heard of such a thing sweet lady all men are fools and all men are knights where women are concerned i don't know arius is just a total stupid jock who doesn't understand what he symbolizes he doesn't realize the hurt he does and he doesn't do it deliberately but like his existence is like bearing you know what i mean like there are some people whose existence costs a toll every day for existing whoever pays this toll it could be other people you know it could be the earth could be whoever but his existence costs a toll and someone has to pay it every day. Today it's Arianne with her vagina, but... And I think it's interesting that you say that
Starting point is 00:26:31 because, like, we're going to talk a lot about Jaime, of course. Surprise, Jaime never ended. Surprise! Yeah, this is just Jaime redux, but... Yeah, and you know, you're saying that aries doesn't realize what he symbolizes and the harm that he causes and i do think it's significant that at the very least you know jamie is very cognizant of that he knows what it means what what what being a
Starting point is 00:26:58 lannister like the weight that it carries and what it symbolizes for people and he's mindful that like i mean people recognize that and understands that it comes with just as much of a price as it does offer him power and privilege and Ares doesn't quite understand that as you said and not only does he not understand
Starting point is 00:27:18 like the harm that he's causing without any intention I mean that's basically the rest of his existence from here on out. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Consequences. The streets are much more alive at night with music drifting out of windows and drums beating to a spear dance. The night feels like it has a pulse and a pillow girl calls down from the balcony to Ari's who's oiled and in jewels because, you know, this is an MTV video version of Dorn. Look, some of this chapter, like, I have 33.33333% feelings on three things in this chapter.
Starting point is 00:27:58 Some of this is absolutely through a lens that is Ares Oakheart's lens, right? Like, George is absolutely like, this is how a dude like Ares Oakheart's lens, right? Like George is absolutely like, this is how a dude like Ares Oakheart thinks. This is what he sees. This is his whole surroundings. That's 33.3% of this chapter. Another 33.3% of this chapter is meta commentary on the type of man that Ares Oakheart is. The dumb, stupid jock man that that he is and then another 33.3 whatever percent i think is george and maybe that's just the sex scene but like you also have to say that part of it's just the author like yes it's meta commentary do with this comment what you will this is it's something it's that and like that doran reinforces some of these ideas
Starting point is 00:28:46 like oh yes we're just very yeah hot-blooded and things like that and i'm like spicy really bro like really you're gonna do that it's a bit fetishy it's a yeah there's a lot of like how george is sort of you know exotifying the dornish and uh relying on what i feel you know even though uh dorn isn't in essos or doesn't take place in somewhere that is a east of west rose uh in othering them relies on what i feel are orientalist tropes from uh the way that it's like wow and here people are like so exotic and sexy and and you know the hot-blooded and then the desert makes them like this and it's like okay yep like you sure did go there george so he looks up at the girl, weak-willed like he is, but Ares forces himself to move on and he's like, men are weak and I'm like, same. He thinks about Baelor the Blessed, actually,
Starting point is 00:29:54 who we've talked about a bit before, who fasted to rid himself of lusts. And he wonders if he should do the same. If he should do the same. Yeah, and I think that's an interesting framing for some of the things that get discussed in this chapter, and I noted it because of how much Ares thinks of Baelor, or at the very least, I mean, just this line, like, our Patreon episode
Starting point is 00:30:18 about the Maiden Vault, I think, really made clear quite a few things to this about what was going on with Baelor the Blessed, to to me as we were working through it. And, you know, you see some of those parallels with the Sand Snakes being imprisoned just a little bit before this chapter and how, you know, I feel that Baelor says he imprisoned his sisters to curb his lust, but I think that there was quite a bit more going on there that isn't chronicled,
Starting point is 00:30:45 especially when you look at how succession would have fallen. Yeah, I think succession plays a really prominent role in this, and Doran securing the sand- I mean, there's a lot in this chapter as well that I think we're going to speak about with Doran. I think he portrays himself as weaker in this chapter than what he actually is. I think that Doran putting the sand snakes in the tower and locking them up was him literally like taking a minute to be like, let me get this all on lockdown. Let me make sure shit's the way I need it to be before I try to play my cards. Like obviously everyone was like, shit or get off the
Starting point is 00:31:23 pot, Doran. And he's like fine i'll shit but first i'm gonna lock these bitches up so that i don't have a huge problem before i shit everywhere and then he shits everywhere and he's like you get some shit you go to king's landing you get some shit you go to king's landing i mean remember how we just talked about how there's a riverlands conspiracy theory and it's probably more likely that's real than the Northern conspiracy theory? People really poop on the idea of Doran being a master planner, and I think that he has lots of plans, and he's had lots of plans for a very long amount of time, and now his time's running out because he's been biding his time,
Starting point is 00:32:02 and now he's screwed and has to use whatever form of a plan he can use before he burns out and i think it's made apparent here i think there's a lot of truth to there's a lot of things that arianne misunderstands about her father but i think there's quite some merit to which he says of like i I don't know, he does a lot of things and he thinks a lot. And if he says he's going to do something, it's going to take like four times the amount of time. And I think there's truth to that. And Doran, if you think about it, didn't quite get the joy of vengeance that he wanted from tywin right like he was like i got all these like fantastic master plans of like how it's gonna go it's gonna be perfect and it's like at some point sometimes you just gotta make a decision and you just gotta commit and do to do it and we'll talk about that a bit more uh with some of the metaphors that come through in this chapter but first a man is grilling a snake over a brassiere and its spices
Starting point is 00:33:05 bring food tears to aries's eyes there's a quote of the best snake sauce had a drop of venom in it he had heard along with mustard seeds and dragon peppers well hang out aries or don't because you die but there are some dragon peppers to come let me you. I feel like there's a lot with poisons and Dorne being pushed in our faces in A Feast for Crows, and I think it's going to connect directly to Tommen in The Winds of Winter. I'm guessing Tommen's going to be poisoned on his way out because, you know, crown him is to kill him. But directly before this in Cersei 3, we have this passage that kind of reminds me a bit of Aerys's position right now. Nor did Jaime help her mood when he turned up in white and still unshaven to tell her how he meant
Starting point is 00:33:56 to keep her son from being poisoned. I'll have men in the kitchens watching as each dish is prepared, he said. Ser Adam's gold cloaks will escort the servants as they bring food to table to make certain no tampering takes place along the way. Sir Boros will be tasting every course before Tommen puts a bite into his mouth. If that should fail, Maester Balabar will be seated in the back of the hall with purges and antidotes for 20 common poisons on his person. Tommen will be safe, I promise you. You know, Tommen was dead the second Tyrion didn't succeed in keeping him out of the city too, right, let alone the crowning. And as we jet through some of this plot, I think the Dornish history is going to relate a lot to Cersei at Tommen's wedding with the roses alone. I mean, that's
Starting point is 00:34:45 super significant as the Dornish team is eventually coming to the capital. The Oakhearts played a really prominent role in both Targaryen and Blackfyre history. An Oakheart tried to court Princess Rhaenyra before the Dance of the Dragons broke out, and they initially supported her during the dance, even without the marriage, but they ended up having to submit to Daeron the Daring and the Hightowers during the war. We'll probably chat about Kristen Cole later in the chapter and the dance as well then, when Aerys brings it back up, but looking back to the sworn sword, the Okhards played both sides in the Blackfyre Rebellion, and I think we might see that coming up split between the
Starting point is 00:35:25 Reach in general. Yeah, there's some interesting things about the Oakhearts going on, and as you said, the later Dornish plot moving forward. For now, though, Ares, who probably doesn't eat salt on his food, tried some of the Dornish food to please Myrcella, who loved her Dornish food, please, Myrcella, who loved her Dornish food, much like her prince, her Tristain, but Ares doesn't love it, and I don't know, it's just, Myrcella's so wonderful and good, she's like, yeah, I'll try other food, I'll get to know other people, this is fine, this is fun, and that's why Ares was able to just leave them, playing savas at a magnificent table of jade and carnelian and lapis lazuli and then you know marcella's good at savas and she's like into it and savas came to planky town i just like saying planky town every time and i want to remind everyone about that i love
Starting point is 00:36:19 that very much but it's fun to say planky town it's like a i don't know a video game place yeah yes exactly it really does show up get a little bit of backstory you're gonna gas up spend some money on you know some potions and shit and get out of there a couple cups yeah i don't know that that's quite how it went for a lot of these people but yeah i think that's what quentin thought his life was gonna be like after planky town but anyways uh it came to planky town on a trading galley from volantis and then the orphans spread it up and down the green blood we have this line of aries hated the game but dornish court was mad for it lol that's meta because you know dornish court
Starting point is 00:37:01 is mad for savas just like Dornish Court is mad for vengeance which you know takes place in Savas in a real court with physical players right and I think it's interesting this isn't the chapter where we get all of the information but we do get a little bit of information on Savas we can do some connecting here Savas has 10 pieces with their own attributes and powers the board changes depending on how the players change their squares. So in Tyrion in A Dance with Dragons, I want to say it's what Tyrion 6, we learn of the pieces which are rabble representing small folk or the pawn, spearmen, spear men crossbow men light horse heavy horse trebuchet you know a type of catapult and then catapult another regular type of catapult dragon elephant and king so yes we learn those in
Starting point is 00:37:58 Darien's chapters where the game is further illustrated and the metaphor of course plays on but here the metaphor is of course light and frothy before aries meets his demise marcella we learn who's not quite 10 yet she's won more times than not when playing against 13 year old tristane and we get this really sweet passage in my opinion it's sweet the two children could not have looked more different him with his olive skin and straight black hair her pale as milk with a mop of golden curls light and dark like queen cersei and king robert he prayed marcella would find more joy in her dornish boy than her mother had found with her storm lord. I just realized, is this supposed to look like Daenerys and Jon? Huh.
Starting point is 00:38:49 I didn't think about that, but I could see that. He wears a lot of black. He's goth. I thought it was also interesting that Arys points out here that he had noticed that Cersei and Robert had a poor relationship, but I'm also like, I mean, I I guess Ari sounds like he was the court gossip so maybe it's not surprising maybe I mean he's also been around
Starting point is 00:39:12 that long is the other thing I was thinking is like he was there to see the marriage go south right like 290 AC if he became Kingsguard then he joined up like a little over half a decade after Robert had taken the throne and the Assyria was starting to set in and I mean Ares would have seen it he would have shown up and
Starting point is 00:39:30 been like wow this isn't really charming I mean the songs are bullshit is what he would have learned just like Jaime and Sansa yeah absolutely and I mean it took what some of the star kids like a second to see like wow this marriage is bad yeah and like you said aries was there for 10 years and it's probably like okay he's like finally right now he's like huh maybe that's not great he's like maybe it's cool that i uh never have to deal with this for himself. And then here we are now, you know, with Undorn where Myrcella's chambers had limited access in the Tower of the Sun. So ideally, you know, she should theoretically be safe while Ahri slips out. It is, after all, guarded by loyal Lannister men.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Her maids and septa Eglantine attend her as well and prince tristain's sworn shield gas coin of the green blood and they're going to guard them as well i love that there are loyal lannister men guarding her it kind of feels contradictory like they're they're randos they have no names so that implies to me that they're lower scale Lannister lackeys and they're not significant enough to be a real character which implies that these guys are probably only royal to their pocketbooks so I don't know leaving some randos in charge of Myrcella. They're red shirts. Yeah they're gonna be red shirts. Yeah. They're gonna be red shirts, let me just tell you. Woo! Crimson shirts. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:09 Prince Doran had also promised Myrcella safety. Now and until the move to Sunspear, Ares had spoken with him just the other eve, and he had apologized for being unable to see him or the princess until now. He gave him his wishes and hopes
Starting point is 00:41:24 that Arianne had treated him well in Dorne. Like blowjobs? Yeah, he's like, I wish that Aries could have seen more of Dorne's beauty. Oh, he saw enough of it, Dorne. Don't you worry. He saw all of the
Starting point is 00:41:40 creases and folds. The moist caverns of Dorne he was there the valleys the hills the folds I already said folds I digress he also said that you know
Starting point is 00:41:55 unfortunately he and Myrcella are very much unsafe in the streets confirming Ares' suspicions he tells them that the sand snakes are not alone, that the small folk also want vengeance, and that half the lords in Dorne support
Starting point is 00:42:12 them and have the same thoughts. Again, this does remind me of the young dragon and how he thought he had the nobility at least signed on, but then the small folk rose up and the nobility were housing some of the small folk apparently who wanted to do that rising up just saying rebellions everywhere aries dared to
Starting point is 00:42:33 ask doran very bold what he thought he's like bullshit aside doran prince doran tell me what's up what's the real deal so we get this passage between Doran and Aerys. My mother taught me long ago that only madmen fight wars they cannot win. Yet this piece is fragile, as fragile as your princess. Only a beast would harm a little girl. My sister Elia had a little girl as well. Her name was Rhaenys. She was a princess, too. The prince sighed. Those who would plunge a knife into Princess Myrcella do not bear her any malice, no more than Sir Amory Lorch did when he killed Rhaenys, if indeed he did. They seek only to force my hand, for if Myrcella should be slain and Dorne whilst under my protection,
Starting point is 00:43:26 who would believe my denials? No one shall ever harm Myrcella whilst I live. There's a lot of double talk happening here, right? Dorne does something that I think is ignored by a lot of the populace. Oberyn, when he shows up at King's Landing and he's chatting with Tyrion, he's straight up like, oh, it is a threat that I'm here. He's like, it is for real. Like, I am here to pass some judgment. And if you bitches don't want to move on my sister's killers, that's all right. I'll force your hand. But Doran's playing the same game, just quieter, right? He says, Doran's playing the same game, just quieter, right? He says, my sister Elia had a little girl.
Starting point is 00:44:10 She died in the city you hail from, my friend. Myrcella, no, no, no one bears her malice. You know, no more than Amory Lorch, the guy who supposedly killed my sister. You know, ever heard of him? He name drops. He's like, oh, people seek to force my hand, which is why right now, later on when Doran's revealed his hand, he's sending Myrcella home with sand snakes because that's insurance so that they know I only meant to send Myrcella back to King's Landing. Like I had nothing to do with her possibly dying at King's Landing under the hands of things going on.
Starting point is 00:44:48 By sending her back, it's seen as gracious, right? It's a very big political move. If Myrcella dies while Doran's there, or not there, sorry, if Myrcella dies while Doran's not there, he's absolved of any of that. And I think his master plan and goal is to defeat the Lannisters, as we learn when he sends everyone off. He's been biding his time, except now he's going from like 0 to 100. And the other players have their own minds, just like Littlefinger mentioned about Cersei in that Sansa chapter, right? But it applies here with the snakes in Arianne.
Starting point is 00:45:21 I think they're really going to turn the tables in King's Landing. the snakes in arien i think they're really gonna turn the tables in king's landing yeah i mean i do think that doran is conflicted in that i do think he does hope that no harm befalls marcella right that's why we see all those scenes of him watching the children playing and i think it's a big part of why it has taken him so long to move the Martells into action or any of Dorne when it comes to all these plans. Because he knows that if things go awry, these innocents and children will pay the price, as his nephew and niece did. I also think it's significant that he calls out that you know if marcella's slain and dorn under his protection even if it has nothing to do with him like who's going to believe him if he denies it and i think that sounds quite like what's going to happen to daenerys with
Starting point is 00:46:17 quentin right like daenerys wasn't there like it's literally not her fault that Quentyn died. Who's going to believe her especially when Quentyn's friends are like Quentyn died because Daenerys wouldn't like him as though he was entitled. Yeah, that man-hating bitch. She's a man-hating bitch.
Starting point is 00:46:40 That's what it was all like. Yeah. Pretty much. And so I think that the way what dorn is saying here is not just predictive of other people's behavior but how he's going to feel and how he's going to blame danny for the death of his son even though again danny was like literally dealing with different problems and quinta just showed up out of nowhere and he's like also information wise like down the pipeline he's not going to get information in a timely manner i mean there's going to be the effects of travel via raven as far as messages like it's not just like opening up your phone and hitting instagram or
Starting point is 00:47:19 facebook messenger like this is a bird gets there asking for info and as we know where the armies are positioned and what arianne's ask is in the winds of winter that arianne is literally like she's about to tip the scales any moment and say i choose dragons baby i think that's something that's like so significant that like doran can only go off of what he knows, and if he doesn't have the honest information at the right time, it doesn't look great, does it? Yeah, Arian's out here thinking, I'm choosing dragon, but she's really choosing dragon as a matter of her death. Burn, baby, burn.
Starting point is 00:47:58 I also find it significant and intentional here that within this exchange, Arian says only a beast would harm a little girl. And then there's no narration right after that. It's just straight in between a lot of this dialogue. So it's not shown here in this moment, but later on, Ares does ruminate on how he was forced to hit Sansa. And he does feel guilt guilt about it but we don't see him thinking about it here at this moment that he himself is a beast for harming a little girl
Starting point is 00:48:31 that's a really good one to think about yeah and that's the thing is like he seems like a dumb affectionate lovable jock right where you're just like oh Ares he didn't mean any harm but as we said like his very existence implicates harm yeah he didn't mean harm and yeah he didn't hit that hard as we know he he hit the
Starting point is 00:48:56 least of the other grown men with chainmail hands that smacked sansa stark repeatedly for joffrey's enjoyment it's nice that he didn't hit as hard, but he's still a grown man hitting a 12-year-old girl. Yeah. It's not good. It's, in fact, very bad. It goes to show, you know, that idea of, like, none of them being true knights,
Starting point is 00:49:19 and it's, like, kind of fucked up, because Sansa's like, well, I appreciate that. I like Ares the most, I guess, as much as I can like any of these men who hit me. But it's still like, dude. Doran admits that locking up the Sand Snakes kind of bit him in the ass and that everyone is whispering in corners and sharpening their knives. Ares then thinks that, you know, the prince looks terrified. Noting that his hands are shaking, Doran dismisses him, telling him that sometimes Sunspear wearies him as he is frail,
Starting point is 00:49:53 and he advises Ares that he plans to take Myrcella, Ares, and her company to the water gardens after all this because it's a peaceful garden. to the water gardens after all this because it's a peaceful garden. Also, it's symbolic. Prince Merrin raised them for his princess, Daenerys, that he married. This is great foreshadowing of
Starting point is 00:50:13 Doran's plans for Quentyn and Dany that kind of break out, right? Especially with Arianne later here kind of revealing all to Aerys and being like, oh, my father doesn't even want me to have any control. Life sucks. I'm a rebel. But something is really off about how pure and great these water gardens are, right?
Starting point is 00:50:35 Because every time we see them up close, like in Captain of the Guards, they are covered in this overripe blood orange that is just like dropping to the ground, spoiled, rotten, juice everywhere, just plop, plop, plop. Fruit going bad, you know, innocence turned to dust. That's a very common theme that we see in this story. And I don't know, Doran acts like the water will heal all of time's wounds, and he's going to like make some tea and meditate. He's going to pull some Uncle Iroh shit, right?
Starting point is 00:51:03 Like take it back to the spirit world. And so a while back, there was this drama. Eliana, I think you know this drama. I'll explain it for our listeners. I actually didn't. You didn't? Oh, okay. This is fun. So a while back, there was a comment posted on George's Not A Blog. It was after season eight happened, the tragedy that broke the entire world. And somebody basically commented saying like, I need answers, bitching about the show. And they said, you know, in the comment, they implied that it's canonical that Dany will burn the water gardens, kind of just like in passing, they acted like it. What they said, the literal phrasing was,
Starting point is 00:51:46 they acted like it they what they said the literal phrasing was i never understood why danny becomes john's nisa if aria is amon's nares okay perhaps you wanted to show what just listen perhaps you wanted to show danny becomes red riding hood for the big bad wolf from all sides political and personal in that way it makes sense but the burning of children at the water gardens never made sense to me, irrespective of how much Doran Oberyn have hurt her family, Rhaegar and Viserys, in the past. So this user treated it like it was canon. A bunch of people responded shaming that user. George eventually responded saying, I quote,
Starting point is 00:52:19 The water gardens bit, uh, no. So a lot of people took that and ran with it and they were like danny would never burn the water gardens i don't know if i feel that way i don't know if reading george's comments for snippets of info and signs is the way to actually enjoy this piece of art overall so i'm not going to pursue that i think it's probably still on the table as long that could happen but i just feel like the water gardens are like gonna have some dramatic bullshit happen that rotting fruit there has to be a showdown it's like symbolism and metaphors and themes and resonance there's no way that they survive unblooded
Starting point is 00:52:56 something has to go down here yeah there's i don't know what it is but there's something significant that will happen at the water gardens and when i think about it you know as you said it's that symbol of innocence and innocence lost yeah innocence lost it's a consequence of doran and arianne's actions whatever ends up happening all those happy kids playing games in the water yeah and and there's something else like another uh facet to it that kind of makes me think of you know george really into history and all these things that he can never see and revisit because they're literally gone um and their destruction and i think that one of the things that's going to be lost that's going to be very painful for the world as like a wonder of it is the library at the citadel at old town and the water gardens feel very much inspired and have a sort of vibe that feels similar to the
Starting point is 00:53:58 hanging gardens at babylon and that's gone as we all know in real life so there's something that about that i feel like george is trying to channel that sense of loss there too i don't know what it is but yeah i think so there's got to be something i don't know i i'm just waiting to find out like i just feel like something has to go down there and there is something that's hanging over this chapter as arianne is like every five seconds oh my brother and my dad they're just plotting against me and they're just locking me away as a woman which as we already know who have read the books unfortunately arianne has not she should have as we've discussed read the books but as we go through it we're just like oh arianne no
Starting point is 00:54:42 there's a different thing going on and then and they're all gonna die yeah i do wonder if arianne survives just i hope the best for her i just am very realistic that they're not gonna any of them they're all gonna, any of them, they're all gonna die. For me, it's that Erianne surviving and seeing the consequences of her choices of dragon and her ambition feels almost more consequential, more heavy than if she died.
Starting point is 00:55:21 Having to live with all of that loss. That's me personally. Yeah. No, absolutely. And I mean, for me, it's like, there's going to have to be consequences for Marcella's death because you know she's going to die. They're all going to die.
Starting point is 00:55:42 They're all going to die. God. But I don't know. Consequ consequences will never be the same yeah never again so doran advises aries because aries's biggest worry is marcella doran advises him that she won't be lonely she'll grow safely with other kids her age but at the same time doran urged him don't don't write home don't write king's landing don't write the throne about this because it could be intercepted haha and arius is like all right he has no choice but to agree
Starting point is 00:56:12 yeah he doesn't think too hard about it but i actually do think that marcella growing up at the water gardens had that actually happened for her could have been pretty advantageous especially compared to the childhood that tywin gave his children because not only then does marcella learn to socialize with others like in a healthy way the way you know the her parents never learned to do right because they're both tywin's uh kids um siblings but you, also grows up meeting other children of different backgrounds because there are children of different classes there. But, you know, for those that are her age who are also noble and highborn, I think that would also likely include some people from the Free Cities.
Starting point is 00:56:57 And if, you know, if Arianne's childhood is anything to go by, and, you know, between the Free Cities and some of the other Dornish houses, like, I think that this would have been really crucial and and advantageous for her in forming alliances very much like the cohorts and that group that marjorie has that's held together by a lot of um them spending time together and those friendships and that ends up having a lot of like political strength for them especially in the reach and if circe is truly like that concerned about the tyrells i think that a group or cohort from rusello within the dornish faction could have actually been a very strong counter to that i mean we see arianne who has forged these relationships over time and been charismatic
Starting point is 00:57:43 and been able to nurture them and grow them along. Like she has her cousins, she has the Fowler twins, she has all these girls that she knows. She herself, she has not just them, but Giren. She has her own little ragtag crew, right? She has this crew that is able to help her pull off covert ops when she calls them and says, look, I need my favor. Here's my big call in my big princess of doran favor i need to pull a mission off and she has enough people that are loyal to her that she can do that that is what marjorie has that's the advantage marjorie has at court and king's landing and that's the advantage marcella needs to survive anything yeah but tywin didn't teach his kids about those kinds of
Starting point is 00:58:26 alliances. No, he taught them it's fear. It's all fear. Well, back in real time, Aerys is walking into an alley that becomes a moonlit courtyard. We're about to get to our femme fatale that we keep talking about. He's following directions from a she.
Starting point is 00:58:42 She wrote things on this page. Past the candle maker's shop a gate short flight of steps an unmarked door he thinks about knocking but instead pushes into a low-ceilinged dim room candles lit in the thick walls mirrish carpets on the floor tapestries upon a wall a bed he calls out for his lady and she steps out here she stepped out from the shadows behind the door so there's a lot of talk of this shadow city and this idea of shadows in general throughout this chapter and that really stood out to me especially in terms of what's going on here with aries's interiority the shadow city gets mentioned
Starting point is 00:59:27 a lot about how it's like this other side of dorne and there's this concept in jungian psychology which you know you can give or take as uh valid but i think it's an interesting idea when it comes to stories as same as freud is and i think I don't know if it's here or somewhere else where I've spoken about the idea of Freud and the ego and the id as it manifests in Tyrion's storyline especially with Tywin manifesting as that super ego within his story and then as Tyrion gives into more of his desires and I think you're seeing something similar here with Ares as we talk about the shadow city Ares is starting to learn more about his shadow, which in Jungian psychology is a lot of that, the unconscious, those darker desires, those more primal desires that people don't really notice that they have bubbling underneath the surface versus the persona, which is the other side of it. It's the conscious element, the part that people tend to see of you or that you present of yourself and that you know or want
Starting point is 01:00:32 people to see. And the shadow is very much characterized by feelings of, you know, again, desire, violence, all these urges, but there's a lot of guilt, especially because again, it's that unconscious. It's those things that you tend to deny yourself. And we're seeing Ares do that, right? He has his own shadow city going on as he goes through Dorne's shadow city, but himself meeting with Arianne constantly. And he's unable to integrate the persona and the shadow which is a thing that you're supposed to be able to do to be healthy uh where the persona integrates the shadow versus the other way around and because he can't deal with it he ends up dying he ends up being like i cannot deal with uh these desires and the shadow he can't accept it, even though Arianne's like, yo, this is normal. A lot of people want to have sex. And that's fine. You're in a very strange,
Starting point is 01:01:31 like job position. And she's like, all these other people did it, like you need to chill out. But Ari's rather than dealing with it is letting that guilt consume him. And that's the shadow impulse that he gives into and eventually is like kill me now are you hota and i i just think that boy wanted to die yeah i think that is i mean and we've talked about it before that we think he wanted to die because he did he was that conflicted right like because it is sad at the end he charges and as we'll talk about arianne's reaction later i mean he charges straight into it he wants to go he chooses that glory of dying in that manner as opposed to dealing with his uh dick yes yes Yes, yes. To Ares's dickmay, I mean his dismay. And things are going to get a little NSFW, like we said earlier, so put those earbuds in. And an editor's note from me, I'm sorry for how most of this is described, but it's really hard to take this seriously without a lot of eye rolls in some spots, so everybody buckle up. Get ready. Wrap up. Oh, someone made a great joke.
Starting point is 01:02:48 I want to call them out. I need to find their name. A reply to our Girls Gone Canon account. I'm going to take this quick aside where we were talking about how we were wrapping up Jamie and they said, wrapping up Jamie would have saved
Starting point is 01:03:04 a lot of problems in the story. You know, the joke was about condoms in case you don't get it. It took me a second. I like stared at it, turned my phone off and then had a delayed like really big laugh. And my partner was like, what's going on? And I'm like, it was funny. I love it. No, that's beautiful. It really is.
Starting point is 01:03:28 Thank you to that person. I'm sorry. I'll figure it out. I'll figure it out. Anyway. Adorned in nothing but a golden and copper-scaled snake on her arm,
Starting point is 01:03:43 Princess Arianne Martell comes out, the royalty, because Ares was planning on dumping her today, you see, because he wanted to choose honor and his vows. But he loses his speech, and he drinks in her good qualities, the hollow of her throat, drinks in her good qualities. The hollow of her throat, her round, ripe melon breasts with huge, dark nipples, the lush curves, and then suddenly they're ripping off his clothing
Starting point is 01:04:12 and they're starting to fuck. Very abrupt, I know. I love that he came out here to dump her. Like, what did he think was gonna happen? Ari, has he ever heard of ghosting? He could've ghosted. Jamie Lannister did it. Worked out great for him. It was, thus far, successful
Starting point is 01:04:28 in not having sex. And I think that Ari Zocard wanted to get fucked just like he wanted to die. I think we might have discussed this element before in Arianne's chapters, but it is really interesting, again, that in
Starting point is 01:04:44 the narration of this chapter Ariane isn't named when she first appears right it's kind of insinuated at first with him calling out my lady because that is very much a formal title and meaningful in the story especially because you have characters like Gilly being like don't call me a lady I'm not a lady and the narration doesn't name her or call her by name until much further into this conversation uh where she puts her arms around him later on and it's a very much a lot of what george does in miniature throughout this whole story uh when it comes to reveals uh but it all happens within this one chapter yeah and it keeps going right like aries is all about arianne's
Starting point is 01:05:29 thick pubes that happen to smell like orchids by the way and she's like touch me and you know what happens next there's this line straight up a cersei line more oh more, yes, sweet, my knight, my knight, my sweet white knight, yes, you, you, I want you, some Cersei shit. It reminds me a little bit now, so of course this is early A Feast for Crows, but later in The Winds of Winter, in Ariane's chapters, her sample chapters, we get the line, Ariane's chapters, her sample chapters, we get the line, young girls dreamed of dashing knights with wicked smiles, not solemn boys who always did their duty. And I think that dictates a lot of this, right?
Starting point is 01:06:14 Dictates? Dictates, yes. Yeah, it definitely does. I mean, half of what Ariane's getting off of on here is not just, I guess, Ari's body, and it's not just her stringing him along for Myrcella. She's getting off on getting this solemn boy who always did his duty he did not to become a dashing knight with a wicked smile.
Starting point is 01:06:39 Yeah, she likes the boy to go bad. She likes to know, like, oh, I did this. She does, which, good for her, to be honest. But, like, you play with fire. True. True, true, true. And that's something Ares will learn. At first he feels immense ecstasy as he comes, but then immediately then feels immense guilt as well.
Starting point is 01:07:08 And there's a moment where right after orgasm, Ares thinks that he's died and that he would be happy to die then, right before the guilt sinks in. And it very much plays in with that Shakespearean idea of the little death, as the orgasm was sometimes thought of. Yes, la petite mort. Right before the big one. He stares up at the ceiling. A crack splits it from one wall to another, meta, and then he notices something else that he's
Starting point is 01:07:38 never noticed before. A tapestry on the wall of Numeria and her 10,000 ships. Of course, he was distracted by Arianne because you want the honor, but you need the good or bad, whatever you want to call it. Aerys only sees Arianne.
Starting point is 01:07:54 Yeah, and I think this for sure means something. I think it's probably it makes me think of what we'll probably see with Aegon only seeing Arianne and being distracted. You know, not seeing the dragon in his window, another thing that Ares is like, I wouldn't have even noticed that, as Daenerys makes her way to
Starting point is 01:08:11 Westeros with ships and dragons. So. For sure, something. I mean, I was sharing with you how it reminds me of Prince Wu from Legend of Korra today, which patrons in that chestnut and up, stay tuned. But I digress. It feels like I just almost can feel his coronation. You know, like, I just know Aegon's coronation. I know how
Starting point is 01:08:38 it goes already. I know this, like, I know it by heart. I already know what's gonna happen. That cocky little shit, like, he's gonna become cocky, and it's mostly tyrian's fault and then danny's gonna humble him just like her dragons in the past have humbled other people yeah but not until much much later yeah first arianne is trying to soften all of these blows here in a feast for crows not the blows that you think they should be uh by offering wine to aries apologizing for making him bleed because you know dornish woman or into that freaky shit but he doesn't want her to try to heal his scratches or give him wine he's like i just want to stop wanting to fuck you uh and i don't want to forsake my vows anymore but it's hard not his dick that was hard earlier just everything else arianne and then again later
Starting point is 01:09:32 arianne bags aries to stay and says he must be leaving her for some other woman and she'd fight the other woman unless it was a sand snake because she loves her cousins she'd rather share then aries is like no it's duty not snaky and arianne's like that poxy bitch i know her dry as dust between the legs and her kisses leave you bleeding let duty sleep alone for once and sleep with me tonight yeah kind of cringy um yeah there's a lot to say here especially though about john and jamie i think with duty and you know we could say it now but i i am going to save some of it because we're going to revisit it with Arya Hoth's chapters coming up soon absolutely
Starting point is 01:10:29 Aryan offers to roleplay all innocent like because that's what Aerys seems to be into with his other princess damn and Aerys is like no that's not my case this is very inappropriate and very ashamed internally he's like you can is very inappropriate and I'm very ashamed. Internally, he's like,
Starting point is 01:10:46 you can't be mad at Arianne. She's dornish. She's wild and wanton because of the heat and spice out here. She can't help her ways because that's how it works. You guys, I want to, I just want to offer this warning when it comes to spicy
Starting point is 01:11:01 things and sex. Don't mix them sex don't mix them don't mix them you gotta be careful when it comes to you know like wash your mouth out wash your hands wash your dick
Starting point is 01:11:16 things linger be careful where you touch anything that might have been holding spicy things or might have been tasting jalap things before you put them in other places. Do not let them get all up in you. It will not feel good. Not all up in you or like around it, depending on what parts you've got. It's not fun for parties involved.
Starting point is 01:11:44 So that's the PSA for this episode. Ari's defensive self says that he loves Princess Myrcella like a daughter he could never have. He speaks on the plan to go to the water gardens, but Arienne has her doubts. Doran doesn't tend to move swiftly. There's something here that I didn't, like, really dig into or think about too much of Ari's being, like, Myrcella's, like, the daughter he could never have, yet for Jaime,
Starting point is 01:12:14 you know, his duties also with Myrcella's literally. Daughter he could never have. Yeah, but also kinda does have. So, anyways. Arianne says he'll be lonely there, though. And where is the brave young gallant who said he wished to spend the rest of his life in my arms? I was drunk when I said that.
Starting point is 01:12:34 You'd had three cups of watered wine. I was drunk on you. It had been 10 years since. Ares goes on to talk about how he's been horny for a decade and then of course ariana immediately starts to play with her boob which we get the classic line was there ever a woman with nipples so large or so responsive iconic aries is a strong motherfucker his hands are shaking he's like i gotta get dressed and he gets up and starts pulling clothes on i did want to call out this image of his hands shaking it stands out to me because earlier in this chapter aries actually did note when doran's hands shook when speaking of the
Starting point is 01:13:16 sand snakes and aries thinks that doran is also afraid and so you see that running through here where now ari's is afraid afraid yeah yeah i don't know that doran was afraid though personally i think doran felt pretty good i think he was like i got this i got it under control i think he was shaking so he could be like yeah i'm a frail old man yeah that's true maybe that's what i think i really do think like i'm not trying to join the master dornish plan thing but like i do think that he played that shit like a fiddle he was just like i'm weak i would never plan things because i mean he doesn't know that aries is stupid as fuck that's true yeah but doran does a lot of planning, not a lot of executing. There's a step in between those.
Starting point is 01:14:09 Project managing. Arianne comments that she prefers Ares unclothed. A bed, they can be their truest selves together, but their clothing makes them different people. There's this line from Arianne. I would sooner be flesh and blood than silks and jewels, but their clothing makes them different people. There's this line from Arianne. I would sooner be flesh and blood than silks and jewels, and you, you are not your white cloak, sir.
Starting point is 01:14:39 A lot of strong themes as Cersei and Cersei II and Cersei III here coincide, like Cersei noting Jaime's white garb at the funeral, Cersei coming to Jaime and enticing him with her body, begging him to stay and protect her from the great harm coming to her. Arianne and Cersei both very strongly play that femme fatale role in Ace Woff, it definitely shows here, and Cersei tells Jaime he's a Lannister, he needs to be a Lannister, not a Kingsguard, trying to make him disavow his honor. Aerys' one-off chapter is kind of a microcosm view of this vacuum of like a non-incest Jaime Cersei. Plays it out in one chapter, right? One POV, and then we move on and we know what happens from there for poor Aerys Oakheart.
Starting point is 01:15:25 Yeah, a microcosm, especially of like the beginning of how how jamie got into this mess but man woman allegedly but aries is his cloak and he's worried that they'll be discovered he doesn't want to be seen as an oath breaker and quails at the thought of doran finding out arian laughs at this because she's definitely not a virgin which doran definitely knows and she uses this time to effectively talk shit about doran saying he'll do nothing about it yeah they argue and arian is like you should not dump me and he's like i should dump you and then he's like putting his clothes on his tunic is ripped in half he's very annoyed about this thing with his tunic and aryan kind of mocks him she's like maybe your other princess can sew it up and you should wear it backwards under your robe yeah i mean i guess it has been 10 years for him i'm like damn aries
Starting point is 01:16:24 do you just like not understand the concept of a walk of shame? But understandably, I guess not. That's literally his job. Speaking of walk of shame outfits, I think this fashion hour thing is so important for Ares right here. Like, the chapter starts out with him pondering about his cloak and the three different versions he bought bought of it or brought of it and now that i think about it like aries is supposed to be that guy right who's so straight-laced about his job in many ways and he just like wears the same thing every day i think that's what it's supposed to be like the same white shirt every single morning and he explicitly thinks about how he feels naked without the cloak on.. He feels at this point perfectly comfortable going through
Starting point is 01:17:25 them and portraying different parts as necessary. And his story does in fact start out with him in a very similar position as Ari's wearing something else and trying to pretend to be someone else because they're all sneaking around. Jamie's kind of in the
Starting point is 01:17:42 different place geographically. But as Ariane says says he is not his white cloak and i find this idea i'm gonna i'm gonna really draw this torn silk shirt out thing really far and stretch it but i find that torn silk shirt and clothing as a metaphor for ari's characterization interesting here though because like it is torn, right, during the act of sex with Arianne, and Ares has broken his vows, and will
Starting point is 01:18:11 definitely continue to do so in different ways in a bit by the end of this chapter. So that tearing of the shirt, sort of sullying it, the soiled night, if you will, will soiled clothing and the idea of putting it on backward which is kind of what he does with his king's guard vows by protecting
Starting point is 01:18:32 marcella his princess and his queen and then playing queen maker with arianne like it's a backwards interpretation of his vows in terms of like what it means to protect a member of the royal family it doesn't quite mean like what if we just crown this one instead? I don't know that that's, like, part of the job. And then the idea of Myrcella stitching it back up, which she wouldn't, she won't do this, but it plays into this idea, I think, of her as a princess or as Liege, you know, waving away the sins or dishonor, this idea of a pardon.
Starting point is 01:19:05 I don't think that's really how it works, and it's not going to absolve him or anything. Just thoughts. Just thoughts. No, you've definitely given me something to think about, because it also reminds me of how Sansa Stark is this last idea of honor for Brienne,
Starting point is 01:19:22 Jaime, and even Sandor in a few ways, right? In these Kingsguard kind of figures, these knights, whether they are true or not figures, and especially when you say the idea of Myrcella stitching his cloak back up or stitching him up as far as socially waving away his sins, which isn't going to happen either way. It reminds me of Sansa with her needle, which isn't going to happen either way. It reminds me of Sansa with her needle, her sewing needle, right? And that Sansa Stark is my last chance for honor.
Starting point is 01:19:51 That is what Myrcella is for Aerys. That's why this is so hard for him and why he's walking away, because he thinks, you know, this is my chance to prove myself as something different, to prove myself like Alistar, to prove myself likeivar uh of of these past big members of of my house this is my time to be someone to be different and he can't conceive of what it means to be different from whatever the white cloak is supposed to be because now he does think he is the white cloak and now i'm thinking of uh man's raider right his his cloak got all torn up and he just made a new version of himself he's like fine if i can't be who i want to be here the cloak is not me and it gets sewn back up with different patches of red
Starting point is 01:20:39 and he's like i like it it's fashionable and meaningful and that girl gave me this expensive thing and just reshapes himself yeah arianne offers to send him new clothes she's like whatever i'm rich and he says that would actually just draw more attention to this it's very much like sorry about your walk of shame here's new boxers or I'm sending you back your clothes. Yeah, and she's like, little rich girl does not understand why it doesn't work. Right? I mean, I can see it working for most other people, but there's definitely something different here. Little bit of sensitivity about the topic.
Starting point is 01:21:24 Yeah, and he comes out and he's like, just want to end this and she's like you hurt me your words of love were lies if you loved me you wouldn't leave me and he's like i swore a vow and she's like well i drank moon tea so it doesn't matter there's no proof that we fucked like it's fine and i can't marry you anyway i'm a fucking princess and she like does flirtatiously comment i could keep you as a paramour though and she is taking this not seriously and moontief was a really big climax in a storm of swords right for liza and i think there's a huge focus on fertility throughout a feast for crows and even in dance with dragons with Daenerys' plot. But in Feast, just to pull a few of these moments out, two chapters before this chapter, we get the Kraken's daughter,
Starting point is 01:22:11 where Asha references the woods witch that she met who taught her to brew moon tea. That is a very different experience than the chapter that comes right after that, Cersei III, the one prior to this, where Circe discusses her own woods witch with Tyena, Maggie the Frog. We later have Circe 10, where she lays Moontea crime out there about Marjorie through Pycelle, which of course was planted by Tyena, and of course, Jamie meets Jane Westerling, who is given abortificence to ruin her fertility. There's this interesting depiction of power being attached to fertility for women in this story because of agency only coming that way throughout all of the published works, but especially on this run of chapters, like Cersei
Starting point is 01:22:55 holding on to her diminishing power through Tommen, Asha, who has the privilege to be able to love freely in her culture and is not currently expected to continue carrying a line by birthing children jane who has no agency and was not allowed to perform her wifely duties in that manner and of course ariane who has easy access to moon tea is in a much more progressive culture than many of the other female characters dealing with fertility and i mean let's be real in the main area of westeros like everything cersei's eye can see abortion would totally be a crime and is a crime for the nobles right like small folk it's sad but if shit happens to their kids no one cares but nobility you can't just hide a kid or kill it off easily you know it's not people know they'll be like
Starting point is 01:23:46 cersei has this many kids and they're this old and they should look like this by this age yeah like they're expected to and it's i mean what cersei did that's not allowed because their their job or their expectation is to create heirs so that's why it's like a big deal. So yeah, absolutely. And as you said, Moontea seems to come up a lot more in this book. Arianne asks him if he thinks he's the only Kingsguard
Starting point is 01:24:15 who has ever loved a woman. And we launch into some of the Kingsguard present and past. Ari's present gossip that he doesn't audibly share with Arianne is like, you know, Boros Blount visited the street of Sok quite a bit. Preston Greenfield called on a Draper's wife when the Draper was away. But he does share some historical tidbits, such as Terence Toyne, who, as we know, was found abed with the king's mistress. And then people were like, that sucked because then Aemon the Dragon Knight died because of all this. Ariane, who then puts
Starting point is 01:24:53 forward, she's like, what about Lucamore the Lusty with three wives and 16 kids? Not so romantic. His brothers gelded him and he was sent to the wall and left the children weeping. And this woman with 16 children, she puts forward then, you know, again, the Dragon Knight and how he allegedly got the queen pregnant. And Ares is like, I'm not going to hear any of that slander. It was just a lie. So Agen could set him aside and put Daemon Blackfyre forward. Yeah, siblings would never fuck. That would just be too weird. Blackfire forward.
Starting point is 01:25:23 Yeah, siblings would never fuck. That would just be too weird. Yeah, I mean, I do think that for Naries, it was probably actually Aegon's kid, and Aegon was just a huge asshole. No, I mean, especially with the Blackfire Rebellion, but I am just putting it out there. Siblings wouldn't fuck. Never.
Starting point is 01:25:39 I mean, like, at least there, they'd be like, well, that's not as expected for the Targaryens. But yes. It's good job, Jaime and Cersei. You've hidden it from the biggest, biggest gossip. The person always
Starting point is 01:25:56 searching for the juicy goss. Arya's Okart. He hasn't noticed. Yeah, but he is still inspired by this talking about these kings guard with arianne aries is like i won't be aries the unworthy i will not soil this cloak arianne then kind of tells him her own experience right with the cloak her great uncle lewin had worn it long ago when she was little and she remembers him playing with her and tickling her.
Starting point is 01:26:27 She announces that he kept a paramour, which Ares is pretty surprised about. And this reminds me of my favorite theory. Shout out to StressedAlmostWriter over on A Song of Ice and Fire Reddit. This theory is that Luwin's paramour is Septalamore. A few of the different points that are made, Strostalmos' writer goes on to say, it could be a coincidence, but she meets the big marks. And of course, it reminds me of Ariane's quote, a great night with a paramour. She's an old woman now, but she was a rare beauty in her youth. So she has to be alive currently. She's older and she's
Starting point is 01:27:03 a rare beauty. She would have been at court with the dornish the dornish men who had come to court with the princess elio were in the prince's confidence as well particularly prince lewin martel the world of ice empire says prince lewin is very concerned about the targaryen children during the kingsguard dream the guilt dream that jamie has the the weirwood dream he is one of dream, the guilt dream that Jaime has, the Weirwood dream. He is one of the people in the dream that says, and the children, them as well. Barristan and other Kingsguard would know that Luwin had kept a paramour,
Starting point is 01:27:37 as it's hard to hide from your brothers that we've learned. Barristan is quoted as saying, Prince Luwin was my sworn brother. In those days, there were few secrets amongst the Kingsguard. I know he kept a paramour. He did not feel there was any shame in that. I think this is such a solid theory because it just cements that D-list pretender feel of Aegon's gang.
Starting point is 01:28:00 A half-maester, a soiled septa. And, you know, if she was in King's Landing when it fell, it might make sense Tywin sent her to the septas. I mean, he didn't have a great reputation for how he treated women. See the reins and Tarbecks being turned into silent sisters. I think it really makes me feel pretty conclusive in that, like it could be innocent world building but i feel like the agen crew amounting to like nothing being nothing but like d-list players i feel like that has to happen like they aren't really important people that we heard about during the rebellion their background people john connington's the most famous of them all yeah i think that's uh the case and of course as we can see you know we didn't hear about this
Starting point is 01:28:47 until later and lamor wasn't conceived until later so it would make sense for it to just be like wow these things all go together so we have this line of my uncle always said that it was the sword in a man's hand that determined his worth not the one between his legs she went on so spare me all your pious talk of soiled cloaks it is not our love that has dishonored you but it is the monsters you've served and the brutes you've called your brothers arianne's willfulness rings very egret to me here her talk of freedom and of her way in this circumstance the tragedy will fall on the you know nothing segment to this relationship aries oakheart not arianne but it does bring me back to a storm of swords john three had a lot of these feelings that we see Ares cede back and forth to Arianne.
Starting point is 01:29:46 And Ares is feeling a lot of that in this manipulation, because he's there to play a role and to guard Myrcella, not get busted up in love. We have John in Storm of Swords. I'm playing a part. I had to do it once to prove I'd abandoned my vows. I had to make her trust me. It need never happen again. Oh my god! even my father stumbled once when he forgot his marriage vows and sired a bastard john vowed to himself it would be the same with him it will never happen again it happened twice more that night and again in the morning when she woke to find him hard afterward. Was that what he'd become? I'm a man of the night's watch, a small voice inside insisted, but every night it seemed a little fainter, and when Ygritte kissed his ears or bit his neck, he could not hear it at all. Was this how it was for my father? He wondered. Was he as weak as I
Starting point is 01:31:00 am when he dishonored himself in my mother's bed. I'm rusty, I'm sorry. No, this was a treat. I didn't even expect it. I was like, oh my god, it's happening! Wow, who could have known that Chloe would bring this Easter egg back in for us? Holy shit! Oh my god. I was so surprised. I was like, oh my god!
Starting point is 01:31:22 What a throwback! Ares and John are both working to have a place and identity while honoring these roles they're in. No, they aren't the normal version of their Kingsguard or Night's Watch roles, either. Ares
Starting point is 01:31:38 is working remotely from Dorne, doing occasional conference calls, but really, it's a relaxed workplace environment for him, besides the racial tensions. He's having a hard time assimilating into Dornish culture, so much that Dornish culture pushes him out. You know, like with death and shit. John's on a covert mission in the North to take down the free folk from the inside, and he learns he relates more to their culture and comes to empathize with these people, he relates more to their culture and comes to empathize with these people,
Starting point is 01:32:07 thinking there's a way for everyone to just get along. Both are in these roles that seem natural to their position as younger sons or descendants or bastards, and of course, they have familial bonds with the colony they join, like Ares and his ancestors in the Kingsguard vs. Jon and his quote-unquote ancestors in the Night's Watch. Aerys' mini story in Feast is a sandbox story that, no, maybe it does not need another full retelling, right? It's a story about a dumb rich boy with daddy issues who joins an elite police force that upholds a horrible rotten system. He's then seduced by a sexy Dornish princess who causes his death
Starting point is 01:32:44 because he can't keep his dick in his pants, and we know that's a problem because not enough blood to operate both parts of the body at the same time. Giving it a couple chapters to introduce it to reiterate some strong themes and history that we see played with throughout Jaime, Jon, Cersei, Tyrion, Arien, and even Quentyn's chapters, it performs really well attached to Ariane's chapters. I think it benefits all of these plots to enrich and fulfill it, but at the same time, I would say I'm very happy for Aerys' one-and-done hit-and-run chapter to be almost over and gone. One was definitely enough. I feel really bad for the guy. What a sap, but not
Starting point is 01:33:25 enough room for his waste moving forward. I'm glad George at least understood that. Yeah, George hit it and quit it. And yeah, I definitely agree. I mean, I just kind of feel like Loki
Starting point is 01:33:40 Ares again lived and died for Arianne's character development. Good. I don't think that's bad. like as we said in arianne's chapters through aries like she's introduced as this confident savvy femme patal but turns out she's actually very insecure right like she's different from the way she's perceived and uh regarding that lived and died a few episodes ago we were asked if you'll remember chloe about boros Blount's fate, and you and I had talked about it in a comment from Elio Garcia on Reddit, and it sounds like Blount and Okart's fates are very tied on that meta level. of the draft that he had seen back then. The two main differences that I recall from the draft are that Ares Oakheart surrenders along with Ariane
Starting point is 01:34:29 rather than getting killed, and that Boros Blount is described looking increasingly ill and dies by the end of the partial manuscript. So, George decided, hmm, what if we killed Ares right now instead and then Blount survives for a little bit longer and the rest of his chapter
Starting point is 01:34:52 as you showed with John just now and his storyline and those parallels does a great job of I think just Ares' chapter is here to sharpen a lot of the internal conflicts going on with a bunch of the other characters who are just kind of more
Starting point is 01:35:07 important in the story. Like, Ari's had this one chapter and you're like, great, thank you for setting things up and telling us about everyone else. And you also compared Ari's just now to one guy with vows,
Starting point is 01:35:24 John, and then there is of of course, the other one. We did a bunch of chapters on him. Again, Jamie. Because Jamie has been operating quite interestingly, as though he believed one of these lines. That Arianne of my uncle always said that it was the sword in a man's hand that determined his worth, not the one between his legs. And when it comes to Jamie, right, it was like the sword, his sword in hand that allowed him to recklessly follow the other sword between his legs when it came to Cersei. And it was his
Starting point is 01:35:56 martial prowess that became a justification and the power for him to just do anything that he wanted and get away with it. And now he doesn't have a sword. He has to figure out his own worth and who he is. Also, aside from his penis, he just has to figure out who he is on the inside that has nothing to do with swords. Holy shit. And then Irianne says, so spare me all your pious talk of soiled cloaks.
Starting point is 01:36:17 It is not our love that has dishonored you, but the monsters you served and the brutes you called your brothers, which I think is also very true, as we'll see in a moment. But for Jamie, like he turned against the monster that he served. And also because of that, breaks his vows to his brothers, the other brothers. And it was, well, actually, it was also because of his penis that he did.
Starting point is 01:36:42 Turns out the one actually really bad thing, one of the many bad things but the bad thing that we all remember from the beginning of the story where he threw Bran out the window so it was love that dishonored him turns out people in general fuck up when it comes to sexual wiles, I mean
Starting point is 01:36:59 a song of ice and fire, Lyanna and Rhaegar they fucked here's the story. We're in it. We're in it. There was a Sospec Martin way back in 1999, if you can believe it, before Aerys was playing this big of a role. Someone asked, Why were men like Meryn Trant, Boros Blount, Preston Greenfield, and Ares Oakheart ever accepted as white swords.
Starting point is 01:37:27 Nobody thinks much of their skill. So George had the following to say, but obviously this comment must have stuck because he ended up fleshing out one of these men, which was Ares Oakheart. Sometimes the best knights are not eager to take such stringent vows, and you have to settle for who you can get. Other factors enter into the choices. Politics, favoritism, horse trading, rewards for past service. It's a plum appointment for a younger son, like Ares, or a knight from a minor house, less so for the great houses. Also, Robert had five vacancies to fill at once, an unusual situation. Imagine the nominations we might get if six of the nine members of the Supreme Court died within a few months. I would rather not.
Starting point is 01:38:12 I just want to put this out here that 1999 George can suck it. Holy shit. Why would you say that, George? So naive. And I mean, even here, you can see where Ares took flight, right? Like Ares was not a part of the initial five vacancies that were filled. It seems in 1999, maybe George had imagined him as so, but now George, of course, has changed it.
Starting point is 01:38:34 Now it's 290 AC. George goes on to say that institutions like the Kingsguard change over time. The original Knights of the Garter were warriors, the strongest, bravest, deadliest men of their time, with an average age under 30. The present knights of the garters are octagonarians, and their parades and processions of wheelchairs and walkers, which I think that's a great way to look at the king's garden now, that they are not the men they were in the early 280s, all riled up, ready for a new king after a rebellion fresh blood it's changed and Ares coming in in
Starting point is 01:39:09 290 is a big change obviously but he's been there a decade and not done anything till now yeah he like participated in a few tourneys and was like that was cool that was fun I like my job
Starting point is 01:39:24 yeah he had a cushy job put on the white shirt everyday that's it That was cool. That was fun. I like my job. Yeah, he had a cushy job. Put on the white shirt every day. That's it. Tie up the tie, go to work. Just kidding, it's a clip-on. Yeah, he doesn't think much about his bosses, right? Because he's offended at what Arianne says. He's like, Robert's not a monster,
Starting point is 01:39:41 and Arianne's like, well, he's not as bad as Joffrey was, but he still climbed onto his throne over corpses of children and I mean she has a point alright like Ned was running to his own Robert for this if you'll remember like he was like fuck you fuck all of you I'm leaving and the only thing that brought them back
Starting point is 01:39:58 together was he's like I'm really sad about my sister I think you might be pretty sad about her too and Ariana's a point. Ari sings of the time she doesn't know about this, but really she does because Ari sings of the times that he had to hit Sansa Stark
Starting point is 01:40:16 at the boy's command and how he had lit a candle to the warrior in thanks when he was chosen to come to Dorne. Yeah, but Joffrey is dead and Tommen's the king and Tommen isn't his brother. Ariane can agree with that, but she also is like, yeah, but he's not his sister either. And Aerys, of course, cedes to that. Last time he saw Tommen, Tommen was a chubby little boy who was crying. Myrcella never shed a tear, not the entire voyage, even though she was leaving
Starting point is 01:40:45 home to seal an alliance with her maidenhead. We get this passage that is utterly true. The truth was the princess was braver than her brother, and brighter and more confident as well. Her wits were quicker, her courtesies more polished. Nothing ever daunted her not even joffrey the women are the strong ones truly he was thinking not only of marcella but of her mother and his own of the queen of thorns of the red vipers pretty deadly sand snakes and of princess arianne martel hearse most of all damn talk about putting the pussy on a pedestal that's aries right now so she's not named here so aries's mother isn't named here or turns out formally so within the context of the story at all i guess she's named in the appendix or something or in something meta but he does
Starting point is 01:41:41 think of his mother as among the strong ones and her her name is, turns out, Arwen Oakheart. And I do think it's notable that Ares thinks of his mother amongst the strong ones. Ares is the youngest son of Arwen, and yet we hear very little of his older brothers. His father died. And as we see, especially in the Clash chapters of Cat and in Davos, Lady Oakheart is actually the one who is doing the politicking and is the one that people associate as the leader of House Oakheart. And House Oakheart, as you said, has a storied history. And they are one of those houses that, you know, if they fall in with your cause, lends a lot of that credibility because they are old in honor. And they were in fact quite loyal to Renly when he died. Then they went in with the Lannisters, which I think is interesting because, you know, that means that had things in
Starting point is 01:42:43 the story escalated aries might have been called to take arms against his house but essentially his mother lady okart has been the one navigating a lot of this very complex political situation and westeros right now so that explains why it is and she must be quite strong considering again aries is the youngest of i believe i don't know if it's just her children or of his brothers, and so none of them are ruling the house, then. No, not at all.
Starting point is 01:43:12 Significant. Yeah, he is definitely put between a rock and a hard place, and by the rock, I mean Dorne. I thought you were going to say, and is the hard place his dick? Well, that too. That too. So Arianne begins to argue that Myrcella is more fit for rule than her siblings, but
Starting point is 01:43:31 Aerys doesn't agree because the throne doesn't follow that rule of secession like Dorne does. This angers Arianne, who then is like, well, if I'm doing some math, what you're saying is that my rule is wrong, Aerys. You believe that I, a woman, cannot rule. And he's like, that's not I'm doing some math, what you're saying is that my rule is wrong, Ares. You believe that I, a woman, cannot rule. And he's like, that's not what I was saying. And she goes ahead and reads him a quick history. Viserys intended Rhaenyra to follow him, but Lord Commander Criston Cole's bitch ass decided otherwise while the king died, sending brother against sister in the Dance of the Dragons. Some said Kristen Cole acted out
Starting point is 01:44:05 of ambition, some thought he was defending Andal customs, and others whispered he was spiting his ex-lover Rhaenyra, or rumored ex-lover. All of this coming to you soon on HBO Max and House of the Dragon. Everyone get excited, or just check out our patreon episodes at patreon.com slash girls gone canon about the dance of the dragons i digress aries considers what arianne is saying and arianne then further says maybe aries's purpose is to right kristin cole's wrongs and help her with something special because her dad's planning to take marcella to the water gardens to keep her from her rightful throne, not to keep Myrcella safe. Oberyn wanted to crown her, but this would be nothing different than prison with fig trees and fountains,
Starting point is 01:44:56 which, coincidentally, is what Arianne will have soon. Hotah wouldn't like his presence either. There's a little line. The big Norvoshi captain with a scarred face had always made him feel profoundly uneasy. They say he sleeps with that great axe beside him. Hotah kind of feels like the Illin Payne for Ares. He really does. And I don't know if perhaps Hotah is meant to be our insight then into Illin Payne and is the closest we'll get to an Illin Payne POV,
Starting point is 01:45:22 revealing that he is, in fact, quite misunderstood. I also think it's funny that, you know, Arianne points out, like, fake trees and fountains don't mean it's not an imprisonment. And I'm like, interesting. Aries, would you like to think about Sansa again? And her and her horse going in circles for hours. And he doesn't. Yeah. Yep.
Starting point is 01:45:44 He doesn't get it. He doesn get it i mean i mean i guess now that i think about it that's kind of the case for her maybe he doesn't because it george doesn't want to call it out because he doesn't want to set it up as like that was an imprisonment but her state now is not because it kind of still is yeah also it's kind of like he's not ready to admit his complicit behaviors right like he's just not ready to say like hey maybe i am part of the bad stuff happening or was part of the bad stuff yeah also droid probably just threw this chapter together and was like i need something to go here yeah that, that too. He's like, I really need to get this information across easily.
Starting point is 01:46:28 Finally though, Ari's caves asking what Arian wants of him. She's like, it's simple. I want you to put a crown on Myrcella's head. Be the Kingmaker 2.0. And Ari's is like, I swore an oath to Joffrey though.
Starting point is 01:46:44 Arian points out that the oath that he swore was to Joffrey, who is now dead, and now, like, it's Myrcella's turn. She should be next on the throne, not Tommen. Tommen can have Storm's End, and Casterly Rock in the meantime. But Myrcella, she says, must sit the throne. This chapter reiterates it, but the Queenmaker plot is not new. I've said it before, this plot was happening back in Storm with Oberyn. We get this line from Tyrion's chapters. it would further inflame Highgarden against the Dornish. Mace Tyrell would see the man who crippled his son, helping the dwarf who almost poisoned his daughter to escape his rightful punishment. And if the mountain triumphed, Doran Martell might well demand to know why his brother
Starting point is 01:47:36 had been served with death instead of the justice Tyrion promised him. Doran might crown Myrcella after all. Tyrion accurately calls what is likely going to happen in this plot. Of course, Dorne knew about Arianne's plan. It's been on the tongues of any passerby. Anyone that is remotely Dornish has been talking about this for ages. This is pretty much where all the tensions are settling. Mace Tyrell will still probably see the man who crippled his son helping the dwarf. Like, yes, Oberyn's dead, Tyrion's gone, but Mace Tyrell's gonna watch all this go down and see the Dornish come to the capital,
Starting point is 01:48:14 and Cersei is paranoid. She's gonna cling to the Dornish because she hates the roses. Yeah, and Mace Tyrell's,'s like nursing his grudges whereas it sounds like Willis is like I don't whatever Willis didn't care Willis and Oberyn totally exchanged fanfic like they just sent each other links to different AO3s
Starting point is 01:48:35 they were into you know he's like I want to just pet dogs would you like to read my fanfic about my dogs maybe even a fanfic about my dogs is this you or is it maybe even a fanfic about a cat named oakheart oh my god from wild warriors wait no the warriors not wild warriors i think it's just the warriors i didn't actually read it i didn't read that and she was
Starting point is 01:48:58 like interesting um irion then feeds him the best part Myrcella could dismiss him from the Kingsguard because Joffrey set a precedent and she's like we could even get married if we wanted to even though before she's like we're not getting married I'm not gonna and she asks him not to make her beg she trembles
Starting point is 01:49:20 she says she needs a knight to keep her safe because she's so vulnerable and that my dad's guards knight to keep her safe because she's so vulnerable and that my dad's guards won't keep me safe and she laughs at her father's accusations of treason saying that they were to silence her and her cousins and asks that he do this to save her cousins her and to save marcella of what awaits her he doesn't believe her about doran's hidden motives she keeps talking about, and she reveals the information that she knows. Doran kept trying to marry her off to Greybeards without giving her any rule while she was alone in Sunspear, and he placed his own brother above her. His behavior has proven Arianne is not the heir he wants, including the secret letter that she read at age 14 in her father's solar that was
Starting point is 01:50:06 meant for Quentin in Ironwood. The letter stated one day Quentin would rule. Ariane had cried herself to sleep for years over this. So side note, I do think it's kind of funny that Ariane is like, my father had like Oberyn over twice a fortnight and me only twice a year. He didn't care about me or have any ambitions for me. And now that I look back on everything in this story is like my father had like over and over twice a fortnight and me only twice a year he didn't care about me or have any ambitions for me and now that i look back on everything in this story as a whole and especially quentin's storyline where he basically practically never saw his dad i'm like wow maybe jordan's way of showing huge faith and love in his children maybe too much faith with too little meaningful support unwarranted faith uh was to just not see
Starting point is 01:50:47 them at all that's how you know he cares i guess i mean guess that but also the opposite side of it of like he couldn't face them after all of his failures after losing i mean it's ned right it's the same idea as ned the marriage that is i mean ned and catelyn's marriage is a little better obviously than what happened with malario and doran malario and doran were they couldn't work it out doran was haunted and stuck and heartbroken of everything he keeps losing and all of his plans just turning to sand in his hands wow that was a rhyme um i don't know it's really sad because he closes himself off to his kids because he's worried he's just gonna lose them just like
Starting point is 01:51:31 ellia just like now over in you know and in closing himself off he ends up losing them just like ned with sanza i mean if ned had spent a little time chatting with sansa like hey maybe this place we're going is kind of dangerous and i need you just to communicate with me very strongly and we'll get through it together but it might not always be great you know like he just kind of like didn't tell ariane anything and now she's like i'm rebelling dad at age 20 whatever 26 23 she's like old enough that I'm like
Starting point is 01:52:10 interesting Arianne that's why I say some of it is Cersei-esque behavior because I'm like no like she's not as old as Cersei but it's that feeling of when Cersei does stupid shit and you're just like you know better Cersei like you literally
Starting point is 01:52:28 know better than this both doing things out of paranoia it's just I mean like obviously obviously people still make silly mistakes at that age she would be 24 I think cause she's
Starting point is 01:52:44 76 I just yeah 23 or 24 but i'm just like i mean i did stupid shit then i do stupid shit every day i did stupid shit yesterday i'm gonna do something stupid tomorrow like there's no point of judging a person on their age that's silly of me but true i it just feels like you know george got really wrapped up in writing um a lot of these other characters as the rebellious teenager right as teenagers and and it feels like, you know, George got really wrapped up in writing a lot of these other characters as the rebellious teenager, right? As teenagers. And it feels like he kept that with Arianne, even though it's like, she's a little bit older. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:53:13 She has been infantilized in a way, right? Like, she too has been kept Doran's little princess. And now she's kind of like, okay, well, nothing's changed for the past decade of my life. This is it. So, yeah yeah she's acting out man i get it rebel power to the to the people so aries acts like he understands all of this but in his head he's like i'd probably do the same thing if i had a son i get you doran what a dick he wants more doubts what arianne is saying and she asks him where quentin is and he's like in the boneway but arianne has her own he's in the boneway sorry oh my god he's out of the boneway if he keeps it up arianne's own little birds are saying otherwise she's heard that quyn's across the sea as a merchant amidst the drama of
Starting point is 01:54:05 Myr, Tyrosh, Lys, and the Golden Company. The Golden Company has canceled their current contract, which is significant because the Golden Company is so different from other sellsword brigades. I wonder if we're going to hear more about the Golden Company to do with Dorne. This is so interesting. It's a brotherhood of exiles united by Bittersteel's dream. They want gold just as much as they want home. Lord Ironwood, who would side with them historically as he has, knows that. He rode with Bittersteel three of the Blackfyre Rebellions himself. Ariane goes on with her history lesson, asking if Aer knows house toland of ghost hills arms it's a dragon eating its own tail the dragon represents time she says with no beginning and no end all things
Starting point is 01:54:53 come round again anders ironwood is kristen cole reborn she says about to crown quentin against the wanton arianne i mean everyone's fucking kristen kohl reborn in this story there's like 20 of them that's not okay like three or four of them that's not a joke really is but arianne just like went out there and she just acted like all these insecurities she had about herself were things ironwood really said she just went and delivered it and said andres ironwood is saying these things about me and i'm like is he i think he's just out here raising your brother but at the same time as said before i and as you were saying a lot of the insecurities and a lot of the mistakes that she's
Starting point is 01:55:36 making really do mirror cersei and her characterization but i think it also mirrors cersei in showing how the sexism in west rose just like corrodes at the confidence that she has and that a lot of other people like had or any any semblance of it and how she thinks of all the things that would not be denied her had she been born a man and i it's especially telling here because i mean of course power and opportunities have been denied of Cersei we see it a lot in how Tywin treats her and whether or not she can be queen
Starting point is 01:56:12 right whereas for Arianne like it's so much more hurtful because it's like wow Dorne was supposed to be not like that the tradition was a little different there and she thinks that these things are denied her for quentin because doran you know for all the hate that he has for tywin
Starting point is 01:56:31 kind of fell into i think the same trap as his nemesis his desire for vengeance against tywin kind of led him to have a sort of similar parenting style where he keeps his children quite distant without meaning to and he just moves them around and thinks of them as pawns. Malario left Doran because of this and now Joanna's ghost is weeping because of this and I will also point
Starting point is 01:56:56 you all back to our episode where we had Fat Walda on as a guest to talk about Arianne and Circe and some of those parallels too. Yeah, absolutely. Mycella is the elder and better suited to the crown. Who will defend her rights if not her Kingsguard?
Starting point is 01:57:15 My sword, my life, my honor, all belong to her and to you, my heart's delight. I swear no man will steal your birthright whilst i still have the strength to lift a sword i'm yours what would you have of me oh she knelt to kiss his lips oh my love my true love my sweet love and forever but first ask and it is yours Marcella I love that House Toland comes back into play in the Winds of Winter super meta because in the long run that is symbolic of what's happening to Team Dorne, right? A dragon
Starting point is 01:57:56 eating its own tail poor doomed Tommen, Marcella and of course poor doomed Dorne and Ares yeah god, all gonna die absolutely for tom and marcella there's like a line in here where aries is like tom is like a sweet little man i'm like tom is a sweet little man oh sweet little broasted guy marcella's a sweet little girl. I remember the chapters and she's so nice and so smart. She's very clever and she's barely 10.
Starting point is 01:58:31 We're children. We're supposed to be childish. Yes. Anyway, this moment where he calls her his heart's delight, it kind of reminds me of that realm's delight uh that was called for some reason and then um that's interesting because you can see in a way like very much he's framed as the kristen cole obviously and it's interesting because that is the one answer we don't have right like we Like, we don't know why Kristen Cole was such a dick.
Starting point is 01:59:06 We don't know what changed. Was it Alison Hightower's pussy? We just don't know what really did it. Was it Rhaenyra rejecting him? There's all the differing accounts. We're never going to get the straight answer. Maybe House of the Dragon on HBO Max will give us the answers. But calling her Heart's Del or realm's delight you know that
Starting point is 01:59:28 that's such a strong connection here and it is absolutely dance the dragon's material is what we are witnessing yeah yeah and that's what arianne's trying to start here even if she doesn't know it my sword my life my honor all belong to her and to you and i'm just like aries i don't think it works like that i don't know maybe you don't understand the concept of all and i i just thought okay um and anyway aries does for a Ariane in this chapter what Jaime would not do for Cersei at the end of this book, as we saw with, like, yeah, burn these text messages, delete, delete. Also what he did in the middle of this book that Ares could not do, Jaime, I'm ghosting, we're breaking up. Ares, I'm gonna go over there and break up with her but I guess not and then fights for her it's an interesting play because Jamie seems to empathize and understand but it's too little too late is
Starting point is 02:00:35 kind of how his plot feels like yeah he'll do good enough things but it's unlikely that he will make some big recovery to be the world's greatest Arthur Dayne white knight Ares is dumb and does it's far too little too late that he understands it in fact it's so too little too late that he understands it so much that he runs into the fucking sword as we've discussed Cersei doesn't get it she won't get it just like Ares refuses to get it is not going to get it that will be Aerys refuses to get it, is not going to get it. That will be her downfall. Ariane gets it, and she has that moment of clarity, of empathy,
Starting point is 02:01:11 where she's probably going to understand it all, right? She's very clever. She's raised well. She is charismatic. She understands the people. And here we are. She is going to be, again, just like Jaime, too little too late, I think. And I think that's an interesting parallel between the Jaime, Cersei, Arianne, Aerys,
Starting point is 02:01:31 that, like, it's such similar situations. I don't know, it's very interesting. Again, this is an Arianne chapter now, so. I mean, it was always an Arianne chapter. The whole point was, was, in my opinion, is that Ares' chapter was meant to set up Arien as this one thing and then be like, but here's all the other things about her. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:01:57 And there's more here, like the framework of the entire chapter, how Ares' chapter accompanies Arien's chapter so well. And while it's presented in a way we don't know it's Arianne at first, that one-and-done quality should be lingered on, because there's something that we actually spoke about way back in the day when we talked Arianne for Patrons and Stranger Tyrion above and Arianne 1 and 2, The Winds of Winter, that Arianne is battling this line of girlhood and womanhood in the
Starting point is 02:02:26 Winds of Winter she thinks of in Mrs. Ares, but in a very different way. It's a bittersweet, it-never-could-have-been way. Like, she's looking back and realizing that she was young, she was dumb, she takes responsibility for her actions with him, and she's regretful and sorrowful that he was this big dumb man child who didn't hold himself accountable in her grasp she admits to herself she'd been using him and that she was playing silly games and that now she's in the big time and she can't make those silly mistakes and i find that really raw and really interesting that she can admit that to herself i mean he's dead so it's like what's the point of not admitting it, I guess? But she admits that to herself, and she's like, wow, I was silly,
Starting point is 02:03:09 I was stupid, I was just playing games. And I think it's a shift, but again, I don't know if it's enough to change that worldview. Jamie had enough of a chance in his upbringing and privilege to get out in the world to see how people lived, not just in the Westerlands or at the palace at the Red Keep, but in the field, right? Like he went out on his horse even just last week in the book. He was out on his horse. Empathy is a recent concept in Western thought. It didn't appear before the 18th century. So I think that's relevant to keep hold of when you think about characters and people and things. And empathy links that emotional experience to another individual's experience, right? Like when you think Plato, he doesn't ever address empathy directly, but argues our souls are composed of a rational aspect capable of acquiring knowledge,
Starting point is 02:04:06 an aspect that moves the soul toward acquiring the knowledge and betters itself, that links it to emotions. And Jaime obviously has learned a little more empathy in his more recent chapters. We see him at his last chapter in A Dance with Dragons 1. We see him looking for his chance of honor, his last chance for Sansa Stark to save her, and of course, looking at Tytos Blackwood, when his family alignment should clearly be with Jonos Bracken, he's busy trying to respect Tytos Blackwood, the man that he knows his father wouldn't have tried to work with.
Starting point is 02:04:43 Ariane is kind of the same way when she realizes, oh, I was a bit foolish. It turns out Quentin was not stealing my birthright. Turns out my dad had some bigger plans for me to check out, though gonna be real, it kind of seemed like a shitty arrangement. Like, oh, you might be queen, Arianne. You go figure it out. Good luck, girl. Let me know how it goes. Love, Dad dad there's just a lot to think about with all these vows and all these treaties and pacts that were signed long ago it's a bummer i hope for you and mine's sake that arianne does survive i personally don't think she will which makes me sadder sadder about it all i don't know. I think there's a lot to point towards her not surviving. I just think it would be interesting if she had to live with realizing, like, wow, I was still just rolling the dice with all these people's lives, thinking that she was being smarter about it or maybe she she was and maybe she just knew and like many of the other people in this
Starting point is 02:05:46 story decides to go down that same path quite like uh stannis or tywin or many of the other ones of being like well this is the cost right or even daenerys as she learns uh in the game of thrones like this is the cost of the iron throne yeah if i want it it's not just going to be ari's oak heart many others are gonna die say the word say dragon arianne and it's war yeah and i mean like as as you said like Doran was just like I mean maybe you'll be queen and I think for him the issue was that he thought that planning it
Starting point is 02:06:30 made it basically as sure as done and it's possible that Arianne maybe falls into some of those same traps and of thinking of being like well I planned it and this is what i i have planned going and therefore it's definitely gonna work which we can see like that seems to be
Starting point is 02:06:51 what he thought she thought for this marcella plan she's like it's gonna go great she's gonna be queen and that's definitely what doran thought about iria and he's like you know it's gonna go great she's gonna marry the series and become queen and didn't think about like wow what about all the other parts of actually making it happen yeah step one keep the series alive step two meet oh they said and then they started to scream yeah i saw this interesting i'll have to find it and link it post on reddit recently where they said that
Starting point is 02:07:29 Doran just sent the wrong people for a bunch of things like to fetch Daenerys back he shouldn't have sent Quentyn he should have sent Oberyn who already had a lot of connections there from his time in the sellsword companies he should have sent Oberyn who already had a lot of connections there from his time in the
Starting point is 02:07:45 sellsword companies he should have sent Arianne or someone who was actually interested in politicking to King's Landing Quentin can just chill that's what he wanted anyway yeah I think too it's kind of
Starting point is 02:08:03 this is like the whole entire breakdown with ariana and everyone like look this is the deal you're going here you're going here you're doing this this feels like it wasn't his first choice like he wanted a different thing to happen but he fucked up that first time by sending over into king's landing and yada yada though at the same time was it what he wanted because like he says in this chapter to aries you know on how uh oh if i if i something happened to marcella there i would have no name on it so no one's gonna say he sent over into king's landing to get some murder going on or to get that, you know, like Doran, that weak motherfucker, he would never do that. But I don't know. He might have known what he was doing. killed and I think that's very much like Arianne here maybe this is quite a an insight she didn't bank on her brother getting killed
Starting point is 02:09:07 yeah like what Doran also thought about and that's why he's so reluctant and it's understandable now that's why he's so reluctant to make moves too fast because he's like man I was a foolish willful boy playing at the game of thrones so maybe his parents arranged it whatever
Starting point is 02:09:23 like a drunkard rolling dice and my sister and her children died because of it. Yeah. Well, Ares, we'll come back to you. Well, yeah. I guess we'll come back to him-ish. Kinda.
Starting point is 02:09:40 In a way. On the other side. Yeah. That was good, though. I think this was good because I feel really like the explored Ares' character. He's gonna die. He's a big sap. I feel real
Starting point is 02:09:56 bad for him. We should have seen the signs in this chapter, though, I mean. Yeah, and I think part of it is he, as we said he that boy wanted to die and you talked about john and jamie and i think he had difficulty right integrating that shadow self his guilt and the his sins and shortcomings into his person and being like wow well i guess that happens and trying to like wrestle with it and accept that
Starting point is 02:10:26 this is part of who he is whereas john and jamie accept it right like jamie accepted it a long time ago maybe it went the other way and he just let his persona become engulfed by his shadow but john's like well i did these things i've got to learn from it and yes yes, all of you condemning other Night's Watch people, I did in fact go on the other side of the wall, I did lay with a wildling woman and yes I am letting them through this wall yeah
Starting point is 02:10:56 and they're just people and he learned to accept that and live with that Jaime is learning to live with that Ares was like, I can't, I can't live with that. Jamie is learning to live with that. Ares was like, I can't. I can't live with this. Ares couldn't do it. Hit it and quit it. Quit life.
Starting point is 02:11:16 This has been truly an eye-opening experience discussing Ares Oakheart with you, Eliana. Thank you all so much for listening in to our Ares Oakheart POV. Our hidden equivalent, our one
Starting point is 02:11:34 and done. This is it. One night stand. Our one night stand with Ares Oakheart. One night in Ares. What he couldn't do. He couldn't do it. You know, one night in Ares. What he couldn't do. He couldn't do it. You know, one night in Ares makes a kind woman humble. One night in Ares
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Starting point is 02:13:28 of your hosts, Eliana. Goodbye, Ariso Cart. We hardly knew you. Darn.

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