God Awful Movies - 119: Ten of the Top Scientific Truths in the Bible

Episode Date: November 28, 2017

This week, live from Australia, Ray Comfort offers us up a list of things the bible got right, and he manages it in well under 30 minutes. --- If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatr...ibes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Also, using foot and penis interchangeably is a fun game. I also got a game of penis call. Unless you are at footlocker, be sure to... Brown above that. Did a fool who we CK and I'm not proud of it. They were just like, alright. Like a baby's toe. You put that thing on the little measurement thing, they will not be able to take it home. Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will to you live from Scepticon and beautiful Sydney, Australia. Thank you so much. It's been amazing.
Starting point is 00:01:10 And of course, joining me from stage right, please welcome my good friend, He Enrives. Hello. Hello. I can't help but notice a conspicuous lack of scotch. I got water. Oh, scotch, if anybody has one. Kind of nervous. Can you ask him?
Starting point is 00:01:42 Oh, right. That's a sweet hat, by the way. Oh, thank you. Thank you, everyone. Sweet, oh right, that's a sweet hat by the way. Oh, thank you, thank you. Sweet hat, right? Sweet hat. And of course, also joining us from stage right, giving up for my bad friend Elon Bosnick! What are you guys doing? You got to marry a dude now.
Starting point is 00:02:12 They voted and you have to marry a dude. I was going to pick one. You have to, that guy is so funny. I think that's weird that I have to. Can I say now that I have to? Otherwise, I don't know why anyone would care. But it's... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:26 I would. Ela. Where the hell did you... You know what? I don't even want to ask. I don't want to ask. There's some naked bride somewhere who's really pissed. A lot of people like to be buried in their wedding dress.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. I don't know what the woman I murdered for this dress is getting it to you. I killed the installer dress on her wedding day, but it's the happiest day of her life. So if you think about it, it's a good thing. That's great. Sounds great on the mic though.
Starting point is 00:02:59 That's for sure. Oh wait, what's coming off with it? Oh yeah, all brides are beautiful. Oh good, what's coming off with the, oh yeah, all brides are beautiful. Oh good, there's pants. There was a big, should there be pants to stuff? I don't want to say what side I came out on. All right, we need to borrow this from a friend, so I'm going to at least try to pretend and treat it respectfully here.
Starting point is 00:03:24 And I'll sit on it. That's how I'll respect it. So tell us, see, what are we gonna be breaking down today? All right, we watched top of the ten scientific facts in the Bible with Ray Comfort. Yes. Yeah. It's the story of just how much scientific ignorance you can fit into 30 minutes of video. It's like stupidity lightning round the movie. It might just want to stop watch on the bottom and Ray Comfort comes out and he's just like, and go, that's a verse. The Earth is 6 a thousand years old
Starting point is 00:04:06 Blanick covering water. I don't know pass Kill the game It's 30 minutes that and Elon how bad was this movie well if you love the Bible and your definition of fat is really broad You will love this movie. Yes. This is like when you're in an argument with someone at 4 in the morning in a parking lot and they're like, there are things not a fucker, okay? One, you don't ever touch me. Who's who? Ships are shaped like ships. I don't even know. We'll get there. And I want to acknowledge right up front,
Starting point is 00:04:50 what a disingenuous idea this whole concept is, because no one ever had to go and write or make a movie about the top 10 scientific truths in on the origin of species. Like, if your book is just true, you don't have to do this cherry picking nonsense, but they did on this one. I wonder what that says.
Starting point is 00:05:13 All right, so just to be clear, I wanna start off with a couple of scientific inaccuracies in the Bible. The earth was created before the stars. Night and day existed before the sun. The moon is the source of light. I don't know if you guys knew that or not. All animals started out as herbivores.
Starting point is 00:05:33 Kind of hard to imagine why the hell they had the claws. Humans used to live for over 900 years. James Rending. The Earth used to be. LAUGHTER Do you guys hear? Also joining us from stage up now. Yeah!
Starting point is 00:05:48 That's who I stole the wedding dress from. He's cool. He told us. Don't worry about it. Now, obviously, everything I just said appears in the first chapter of the first book of the Bible. Obviously, the list is not exhaustive. Yeah. Speaking of which, I want to talk about the title for a second.
Starting point is 00:06:08 Ten of the top science- Yeah, I think fans. You don't we don't rank. You know we don't rank the list of all true things. And rank order. They're all equally top. Yes, it's just your genius. I would say my favorite real number is four. I do love a nine. Had you considered five? Definitely not a real number. Jigger at the top now, man.
Starting point is 00:06:38 Does anything you guys want to nominate this for being the best to be in the worst hour? Yes! I want to nominate this for best worst three. So Ray in this movie, again, very clearly does not have 10. He doesn't have what? No! But he really doesn't have number three.
Starting point is 00:06:54 This is the worst number three of all the number threes that have ever been or ever will be. And I'm including World War Three, which is starting any minute on Twitter. This is still what Ray pulls out in this movie is worse by a large mark. Yeah, like you know how when you go to the bathroom it's your number one it's number two. If you had a number three it would be better than what Ray Comford came up with. That's where it's blood. It was better when I left the year imagination right?
Starting point is 00:07:23 You didn't think it would be. I was gonna go with Best Worst Use of Stock Footage. I include Edward movies when I say that. I'm gonna go with Best Worst, These are the droids you're looking for. So once in this movie, it's like, I think I'm gonna think he's like a real Jedi trying to do mind tricks. Each time, he's finishing up a scientific fact
Starting point is 00:07:46 And it's like and that's why the word blood in Lunditicus is the same as the human genome project Oh Sorry, obviously we're all excited to get a little bit more of Eli's kiwi accents Or we're gonna keep the break brief when we come back will with breakdown all the half-hearted cherry-picking that is. The top 10 scientific truths of the live. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, I'm so excited! Hey Eli, what's up with Heath? Oh, that.
Starting point is 00:08:21 Yes, yes, yes! He seems awfully cheerful. Yeah, we just got sponsored by Omaha Stakes. Oh, Omaha Stakes, they're like super fancy food company. Best. Yeah, the super fancy food company. Oh, that sounds awesome. Don't they specialize? Oh, the best steaks in the world. Yes, no, what they do. Yeah, it's actually just I usually do like cutesy ads for our sponsors with characters and stuff and with Omaha stakes. We don't really need any of that. Dude, do tell about the samples. See exactly they sent us a sample package with their like filet minions, pork chops,
Starting point is 00:08:58 apple tarts, and it was just so good. I don't think you care. Good. Is that what Apple Tarts. I thought they just did steak. No, actually, they've got 500 gourmet gift ideas, veggies, desserts, appetizers, pastas, soup, seasoning, sauces, so much more. Tell them about the deal. Tell them about the deal. Yeah, see, this is why I'll never write a sketch that's good enough. For only $49.99, you get our family gift pack when you go to Omaha steaks.com and enter our code God awful movies in the search bar. Wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:09:29 That's 75% off. I know right now Omaha steaks is given an exclusive savings to just our listeners. Listen to everything they get for less than $50. They get two filet minions. Yeah. Two top sirloins. Two top sirloins. Woo.
Starting point is 00:09:44 Two bonus pork chops. Those were so good. Four bonus chicken breasts. Amazing. Four kielbasa sausages. Breakfast right there. Four burgers. Eighth those already. Four potatoes. I'll grow 10. Four caramel apple tartlets. One Omaha steak seasoning packets. Plus they get four additional kielbasa sausages for free. I ate all of it. Wait, wait, so good. People get all that. If they go to OmahaStakes.com, enter our code God awful movies in the search bar, then they get 75% savings and all that. It's the gift guarantee to be a hit. We won't need to sketch it all. I know. I know what I want for Christmas.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Keith, we got four words sample boxes. Still know what I want for Christmas! Heath, we got four words sample boxes. Still! Know what I want for Christmas. Write it down. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha doing. Oh yeah. So after this week's movie, I realized that if this is what convinces people, I got to start doing it. I got to start spreading the word like this. For example, did you know that the stars cannot fall to earth? Can't do that. Yeah. So I knew that he's this is not going to work on anybody. What what do you mean? It's just not how it doesn't work like that.
Starting point is 00:11:07 It's like, okay. Well, I mean, if the Bible were true, we would believe it. We believe true stuff all the time. Right. So this should... No, I get that, but you see... Okay, well, did you know that the earth did not flood? Like it says in the Bible, and that all the plants and animals did not die?
Starting point is 00:11:26 That's false. No, but I did know that, yes, you are correct, but it doesn't work that way for religious people. But that would mean, that would mean, that would mean true things only matter when they count in favor of religion. That's, there we go. Got it.
Starting point is 00:11:51 Cool. Yeah. Alright. And we're back. And through the miracle of audio editing and time travel everybody at home just heard some hilarious skits or something. And now we're ready to dive right into the top ten countdown. This movie does not mess around.
Starting point is 00:12:06 We're going to start off with the fact that at number ten, the earth is not hanging on a clothesline. Also not balanced on a libertarian Titan from Greek code. No, no, no, no, no, no, not a turtle. And the way Ray tries to set this up is he's like, look, at the time it was common knowledge. First of all, your accent is very off-putting. It's hard to understand and it's very sick. And he's like, look, at the time everybody knew, it was common knowledge that we were all on the back of a turtle. A turtle named Greg. But then Joe came and all of the time he was like, Greg's not real. And we burned that
Starting point is 00:12:42 guy. Wait, we've started my own. Yeah, right. So here's the actual 40 polls this from. Joe 26, 7, he stretches out the North over the empty place and hangeth the Earth upon nothing. Were there compass directions before the global skies? Well, they were all scooshed together and then God struck me with a morn.
Starting point is 00:13:04 I don't know, man. It brought us, yeah. then God Yeah, it's like when you're doing sheets up That's how God did the directions And also I love to he points out is like you know in the Bible they say that the earth was Free floating in space something that science didn't discover until the 1540s and I'm like oh science started something that science didn't discover until the 1540s and I'm like oh and science started. And the whole thing is like you have a secretary read back the minutes of a meeting that he clearly didn't have it's like so and then Steve said are we on a turtle and you kind of clear your throat so yeah exactly so yeah astronomy is Jesus. Yeah that was us. And I also want to point out that this is directly contradicted by first Samuel 2A, Genesis 1, 1913, etc. I could go on. These are all
Starting point is 00:13:50 the parts where it talks about God folding up the earth or grabbing it by the corners and whatnot. So even, yes, even that tiny little factlet thing he tried to cherry pick and configure and pretzel into our reality is contradicted by the damn book. This is his first one, he has to get this is the strongest. This is the YouTube video. This is supposed to catch your eye, right? You're supposed to not click on like, oh, kitty falls asleep and this is late. He's gonna keep your focus. Alright, so let's move on to number nine. This is a pretty fast moving film.
Starting point is 00:14:25 Number nine, employees must wash hands. Now again, here's the actual quote, this is Leviticus 1513. And when he that half an issue is cleansed of his issue, then he shall number himself seven days for his cleaning and washes clothes and bath his flesh in running water and shall be cleaned. Running water.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Which is why I only bathe in the Ganges River, my friends. I am sick. I take a lot of number threes. Let me just tell you. It's pretty much just all number threes straight through. Just by hands, how many of you wash your hands after you go to the bathroom? Okay, so those people are all liars, right? Because nobody does that. What?
Starting point is 00:15:14 Don't touch my mouth. Well, and also, it doesn't say, again, it doesn't say also after taking a dump, right? It just says if you have an issue, you need cleansed up, which obviously is talking about cleansing yourself of sin with water. That's very clearly if you read it in context, which right goes out of his way, not to do. And you know that that's what he's doing because he switched translations of the Bible here, started with the KJP and then they didn't have like issue in that one so we had to go with something else, some other translation.
Starting point is 00:15:49 I thought it was discharged. Yeah. Because I was pretty sure this verse is about cleaning up Cump. And that's like actually valid. It says you count seven days and you wash your clothes and I mean seven days feels unrealistic I just feel like quarantined to come here for my whole General ideas good That you wanted that clean it off and if you'd like to buy your come here We're gonna have some almalabi a little later on Valsagot. I'm a come your t-shirt
Starting point is 00:16:21 I hate when people pitch their merch on stage, but we're really proud of it. So please, brought it all this way after all. Also, is he applying here that the Romans never heard of Bats? Is that what he's saying? All right, then that's what he's saying. All right, so moving on to number eight, information in the blood.
Starting point is 00:16:42 Now this comes from the Leviticus 1711. For the life of the flesh is in the blood, and I have given it to you upon the altar to make an atonement for your souls for it is the blood that make it an atonement for the soul. Just like science sets, right? And he gets from this DNA.
Starting point is 00:16:59 Yes! This is a really wonderful leap for reg. He doesn't even try on this one. He's like, yeah, I'm the water. And that's kind of like washing your hands. But he's just like, I mean, the juice thought blood was important. Are you saying it's not important? And in that case, does he think there was a moment when blood wasn't important?
Starting point is 00:17:19 Like, which? Culture, did he think was just like, I'm full of red stuff, Doc. I'm not your mother. I'm going to drain him in. I'm going to drain him in. I'm going of red stuff, Doc. I'm not your mother. I'm going to drain in it and drain it. I'm going to take it number three. I'm just sleeping. Well, if I take it number three, you're getting better. Because all that stuff is on this.
Starting point is 00:17:32 Yeah, right. Well, but also this quote is so clearly talking about offering a blood sacrifice to God, not finding out if you have cancer. And I love this little ending he puts on this is to like convince us that blood is important He goes you know who died from having too little blood George Washington. Yeah, the president She didn't have the Bible back And doesn't feel like you'd mention a little bit more about it
Starting point is 00:18:04 It wouldn't just be like the word blood is in the living. Like you'd see, talk about hemoglobin and you'd like dimension things. You know what good science books aren't cryptic? You know what? You know what's then cryptic and have like a bridge troll telling your riddles about it's genetics. What?
Starting point is 00:18:22 Well now I'm sad that that's not how Cosmos land just won't it? Billions and billions or were they? Zoom, zoom, and gut your right. Before you said any emails we know you never said billions and billions. And then well with the two first ones. With the two first ones. No, that knew that. I don't even know who I'm in person. That's Batman, right?
Starting point is 00:18:46 Billions and billions. You would watch Cosmos hosted by Batman. Oh yeah, who the hell would it? And you know what, I would be saved by Neil Dagen-Grass Tyson in a Bat costume too. So either or. Oh, upside down kiss with Neil Grass. It's quite a man. But still, but if there's an upside down kiss with me But still but if there's an upside down kiss involved
Starting point is 00:19:16 All right moving on to number seven the circle of the earth because you know the earth is a circle No because it's not only Or if you was talking about the orbit now be it a lips there was no way for circles to be the right word like She'll be a Quran that says, O late Spheroic, or he lips and I'm like, stand beating around his face drop. Like, yeah. And again, it's not like it says, okay, so I say a 40, 22, as we've fallen this from, it is he that stood upon the circle of earth and the inhabitants there are as grasshoppers that stretch us out the heaven as a curtain and spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in. So, even in this quote, yeah, right, each again, it's through back to the come year, again, again, he's saying that the heavens
Starting point is 00:19:57 are a content, a tent over a sphere, I think, if not. And the one thing I love that he answered is that, and that's what Christopher Columbus. Yes, that's what I was. The world. Jim, we have that moment in school where your teacher knows they're being boring, so they try and relate it to Britney Spears, right? So that's what Ray does at the end of each of these.
Starting point is 00:20:18 He's just like, and, secondly, which is a lot like when Britney Spears says, hit me, bang, baby, well, look. Are you all picturing Ray Poldansing? Just on a wrecking ball. Patreon gold. Patreon, gold. And of course, not that this argument needs debunked, but I did manage to find references to the corners of the earth in Revelation 7-1-28. First Chronicles 9-24, Zico 42-27-2-1-17, 10-11-45-19, 46-22, Joe 1-19, Isaiah 11-12, and
Starting point is 00:21:01 Acts 10-15-11-5. And I wasn't looking that hard. And again, never mind that the ancient breaks new this shit, right? Never mind that it was common knowledge among the educated classes when the Bible was written. And of course, only the educated classes were writing things.
Starting point is 00:21:19 Sorry, you guys would be in funny. I'm actually debunking this shit. So you're getting them in halves. Half of the people are like, yes, he's even got numbers, numbers. And I'm like, memory's not a record, mom. With his little hairy legs, but one of them shaved. Like super smooth. Also, I want to point out to that he manages
Starting point is 00:21:41 to screw the Columbus up thing up in so many ways that he actually says at one point that Columbus sailed around the world. I thought it was us that fucked up geography. I thought we were the ones that thought America was the end of the world. Anyway, moving on to number six, and you know this is going to be good. As soon as the title comes up, it says the Bible and oceanography. You remember that part, right? In Psalm 8.8 when it says the foul of the air, the fish of the sea, and so ever pass it through the path of the sea.
Starting point is 00:22:14 That's oceanography, obviously, clearly. See why we had to write more stuff. We didn't need Jacques Castell, he was just wasting this fucking time and could have done a stoms. But that was apparently a reference to a warm and told continental currents as Ray comfort puts it. So without the Bible, we'd be assuming the entire ocean is exactly the same temperature. You know, weird problematic wet, just like driving Titanic number 72 straight into a night's
Starting point is 00:22:42 room. What the fuck, does anybody have a Bible? This is ridiculous. Let's keep having. I love too that when he's trying to point out how the Bible predicted the oceanic currency says, and the person who discovered this was Matthew Fontaine Murray, the father of oceanography, I'm like, huh, an American scientist.
Starting point is 00:23:00 It's almost like they figured out how to get across oceans already. Right? Anyway, yeah. It's almost like they figured out how to get across oceans already. Right? Anyway, yeah, but if you look at the statue that he found of the Matthew Fountaine, Mori, rather, there was a Bible sitting next to his foot, which is clearly proof that he got all this stuff from the Bible, not all that silly observation that he did.
Starting point is 00:23:22 Also, he didn't discover oceanic currency just charted it more accurately anyway. And all it says is fall as it to see. That's it. That's the whole thing is based on the elite. Maybe a weak one way or the other whether they have optimal shipping lanes they obviously have past ships when I brought them. There was three dimensional curves in space. Right. Alright moving on to number five here. Oh, number five is so good. Number five is God is good as number three, but God knows about light waves and radio waves because of the step dad yelling at you part of Joe. Yes!
Starting point is 00:23:58 So just by, by the round of applause, how many of you here have read Joe? Oh, I love Australia, that's less than half. Okay, so at the end of Joe So the story of Joe real quick is this guy and God's just like Why you hit yourself nerd? Why you hit yourself? And at the end Joe was like, hey man, why'd you do that? And God's like, you know what? Can you make a little guy and then go snicker snack man? I'm gonna make a little thing, go snicker, snack man. Gee, I'm God. I'll fucking show you.
Starting point is 00:24:26 You know you're not a... Go make a close to the tiny dance room. And in this, he says, like, can you make lighten waves and up and down and everywhere, around and up and down? Can you? No, you want to be the boss? Great centennial.
Starting point is 00:24:43 And that is Ray's reason for light waves and radio waves. That's all it gives us. It's like the time my dad threw a snowball at my face when I was six and he turns around and he was like, I phone 10 son, I phone 10. So again, the quote is, Joe 335, can't send lightnings that they may go and say onto the, here we are. Which is, which ray interprets is obviously the Bible knew that you could use light to communicate words. So phones, that's how they do it.
Starting point is 00:25:20 This is a technology called Hello Lightning. And then you get the phone. Yeah, and again, this is in technology called Hello Lightning. I'm just gonna shoot it. And then you get the phone. Yeah, and again, this is in the same incoherent ramp where God actually asked Job if he can open the doors of Leviathan's face. It's funny, I didn't mention that part. But yeah, and he says at one point he goes, but did you know that radio waves travel
Starting point is 00:25:43 at a speed of light? Yes, we did know that radio waves travel at the speed of light? Yes, we didn't know that ray of quite a bearish that you didn't do you know the radio waves are sir? Yeah, but of course I've got the majority of people watching Ray Comfort videos are freak out, but Speed of life. So what is speed of radio? So what is speed of radio? Ask later. Just pointing radios and flashlights at the scene. You tell me when it gets to you. Now, now, now, now, now, now.
Starting point is 00:26:17 Now, now, now, now. Now. Say. All right, and then we move on to number four, which is my favorite. Number three is great, number four was my favorite, and it comes up and it just says. And I was watching this, uh, uh, uh, uh, Sydney local Adam rings, somewhere in the audience. It was a great host, took great care of me while I've been here in Australia. I was watching this in his living room, and I laughed so hard that he came in and asked if I needed a respirator of some kind. When it came up and said number four, the first law
Starting point is 00:26:51 of thermodynamics. Remember from the Bible? Remember from Genesis 2? Good thing they said it for first. And the argument here, oh please, because I could not figure this out to save my goddamn soul. All right. So listen up, pretty easy. The F is old, that... First love, that one. I got to watch Heath watch that in a bar in Mata Mata New Zealand. And he thought he'd blacked out and forgotten the news.
Starting point is 00:27:25 It's like, ah! Where in what year is it? Do I have a big long bushy beard? Yeah, no. It never mentions conservation of energy or anything like that. His argument is, because he has no goddamn clue at the first law of thermodynamics
Starting point is 00:27:42 and he trusts his listeners not to look it up. His argument is that in Genesis 2, it said, thus, the heavens and the earth were finished and all the hosts of them. And then he says, think about it. Have you ever seen a half finished river? That's a creek. With like, he thinks of a river that just goes up
Starting point is 00:28:01 and then it just stops like more to come. Yeah, he says, he says says you've never seen a half evolved brain Said the guy with a beard so easy a caveman I'm half tall twice like what? Left testicles half all set of testicles. Stupid. And I kept wondering if this whole bit, I'm like, okay, how is he going to tie this into the first law of thermodynamics? And the answer is not.
Starting point is 00:28:36 He's just, that's it. Everything is finished. Like it says in the first law of thermodynamics. Unbelievable. You never buy, we never even mentioned what the first law thermodynamics is there. But then we get to number three. Eli, would you like to share number three with us? This is my favorite thing. I left so hard that the girl in our hotel came over and she was like, you all right. It's ship dimensions. Yes. And the argument is from Genesis where God's like, no, I'm gonna kill everybody because they're vegetarian
Starting point is 00:29:08 and that's just like, oh, I'm gonna eat with them. So his argument is basically, you know how boats are all sort of generally boat shaped? Exactly. We're done at the end. That's Julie D. And I just at the end. That's you ED. And I just wanted it and it's so wonderful because you so know that Ray wanted to be like,
Starting point is 00:29:29 yeah, I mean, you could try a circle boat, but you drop it in just six ruts in the ground. And I tried to bird shape boat. Obviously water, bird didn't match. Just right to the ground, I've killed hundreds of people. It's not going well. And I just, I want so badly to create another vote. But here's the amazing thing.
Starting point is 00:29:47 This actually doesn't work and rain knows it because of votes with engines now. So he has a KLN to this part where he goes. And of course, they have votes with engines. But does engine votes? But I'm like, he gives the dimensions. And he says, and if you look at all the boats in the world, many of them have similar dimensions.
Starting point is 00:30:10 And then one of the ways that none of them have the same dimensions and those dimensions wouldn't actually work, he's like, but the art wasn't going anywhere, it was just still so it's okay. It worked. For that one. Yeah. So number three was that boats exist. Well done Bible. Jesus. And by the way, he doesn't bother to mention any of the other, you know, the wooden boat of that size trying to stay together or oiling ocean, but then we move on to number two, which is the Bible and quarantine. Again, if only they had the Bible back in the days to the Black Klay. And in Leviticus 1346 it says, all the days wherein the plague shall be in him,
Starting point is 00:30:54 he shall be defiled, he is unclean, he shall dwell alone without the camp shall his habitation be. So they didn't kiss the lepers back then. He's talking about the come here again. This is another good one. I just never knew that my high school experience was meet with the planks, so that's good. Oh, my very own lunch table again, thank you. I didn't think. The lunch ladies and I used to hang out. Sometimes after school.
Starting point is 00:31:27 So that was cool. I was very intimidating to get my policies. I've always looked like this. So you can imagine a child in my face was a horrified. I mean, I'm still a horrified. And also, I would like to point out, because like his argument here is the Bible knew that you shouldn't like hang out with the sick people because they
Starting point is 00:31:52 you might get their sickness. That's not what quarantine is. Right? Quarantine is like, if you think somebody might have an illness, you wait and check. Right? That's where the quarantine gets. It was a 40 day thing they did back
Starting point is 00:32:04 the days of the Black play. You would a 40 day thing they did back to the days of the Black Play. We would wait 40 days to make sure there was no breakout of the play before you let anybody on. Slightly different than when they start playing it all over the place trying not to get puke done. We read the Bible and then we just stopped having you bowl the parties and then we're all
Starting point is 00:32:21 next. It's good school. You did a good job. And then of course, we finally get to number one. This is not the end of the movie. We're only halfway through, but this is the end of this top 10 list. Number one, and you know, him and Ken Ham just can't get
Starting point is 00:32:34 to a movie without mentioning this. The Bible and dinosaurs. Yes, and I'm not going to read the quote that comes from because it's like this long, but it's the quote in Joe where he talks about behemoth, this impossibly ridiculous series of chimeris that he's, that he's, that the Bible proposes that has a tale that moves like a theater. You're not even walking along.
Starting point is 00:33:02 And you're even followed by a cedar but you don't want to be tree cysts Because that cedar is probably just headed home But he is following you So you turn off and he keeps going you're like, oh, I don't eat trees. I like trees He also says that behemoth drank the Jordan dry, you know, like the dinosaurs did. And also, again, this is a scientific fact only if you agree, first of all, that he's describing a, can a Pavasaur here, which is not, but also you have to agree that humans and dinosaurs coexisted, not a scientific anything.
Starting point is 00:33:47 This is the force of this thing comes from its naval in the Bible. Yeah, and so some people think it's a hippo, and he's like, no, that's stupid. It's a dinosaur. It's a dinosaur. You know who doesn't generate power from their naval? Dinosaurs that hatch from eggs. Yes, and don't have labels. Ha ha ha ha. Yep. To be fair, though, have you ever seen a Braciosaur belly dance? It is in shimton. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who's the matter of a magic dinosaur higher than a man now? Oh, please, by all means. No, that was an interesting thing.
Starting point is 00:34:24 I ate some leaves, a dance, I need some leaves a dance to eat some leaves All right, well we've made it through the 10 truth for only halfway through the video because now that we have all this time Information is time to put it to use so before we dive into the last half let me give the hard sell to act three We'll Ray ever acknowledge what the first law of thermodynamics is Why the hell do we ever bother to science if we already had the Bible? Am I a lying, feaming, blaspheming adult term? Find out the answers to these questions and more. When we return for the budgetless conclusion of top 10 scientific facts of the Bible. Hey folks, I'm Noah Luzians. And I'm Heathen, right?
Starting point is 00:35:08 We just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who came out to all of our live shows this year. Absolutely. Whether it's Salt Lake City, Austin, Seattle, Chicago, New York, North Carolina, or of course, Australia. Yes, so we're so grateful that you came out to see us. And we wanted to take a moment to thank our patrons for making it all possible.
Starting point is 00:35:29 So if you're looking to get the gift for the podcast host that have everything, why not head over to patreon.com slash God Awful and pledge his little as a dollar to help us keep doing what we do. You'll get an RSS feed that allows you to play a commercial free version of the show on any podcast player. You'll get a dozen plus bonus secular episodes of us reviewing our favorite terrible non-religious movies, and you can even win free VIP tickets to future live shows, Christian movie bingo cards, and other gifts just for our patrons. And if all that wasn't
Starting point is 00:35:59 enough, one of us might have been terribly terribly m mauled by a kangaroo well abroad, so there's never been a better time to give. Patreon.com slash God awful, because most of Eli's faces made of his thighs now. His thighs are looking fit though. Mm-hmm. Looking good. Still. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Jesus. Jesus. Excuse me, can I talk to you about Jesus? Oh, Kuro, she looked like cheap leather got rained on. I do, I do, don't I? It's good. Do you know where you're going to go and you die? Uh, some educational facility where medical students will make fun of my penis, I think.
Starting point is 00:36:39 Funny way of saying heaven, but are you sure that's where you'll go? I'm pretty sure it says so on my, uh, my driver's license. I see. Well, let me ask you, have you ever stolen anything before? I sure have. Have you ever told a lie? Yep. Have you ever used the Lord's name in vain?
Starting point is 00:36:58 What do you mean by that, Ray? You know, Locke said, GD, like like said those those two letters What they stand for Golden donut German Deutsche, we're a gastrointestinal disease no no the thing the thing that people say about the Lord is though He were holding back water God damn you me that that's the one yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I've done that. I have. Have you ever... I say fuck a lot too.
Starting point is 00:37:30 Okay, very good. Not super interested. Have you ever looked at a woman with lots in your heart? All this porn would be a waste of money if I hadn't, yeah. All right, so you're telling me you're allowing, feaving, blasphemy in adulterer. So, why should God let you into heaven? Wait, I'm sorry, why should somebody who has access to a paradise that has plenty of room for everybody let me in? Right, even though you said naughty words.
Starting point is 00:37:59 Wait, I'm sorry, are you saying he isn't morally obligated to let me in? Well, on a count of all the woman looking at, we'd last in a minute. I'm sorry, can I ask a question now? Absolutely. All right, so in all the years you've been ambushing people with these questions,
Starting point is 00:38:15 have you ever met anybody who wasn't a lying, thieving, blaspheming, adulterer by your metrics? Not a one. Okay, so do you think the problem is maybe with your system of moral measurements rather than with my morality? We roll sin as according to the Lord. Right, no, right, which makes sin or a useless term unless it's just a synonym for human, right?
Starting point is 00:38:38 But if we want that term to distinguish good people from bad people, there have to be gradients and people who fall outside of its scope. Right, you used a lot of big words there. I understand that your holistic here serves primarily to prove that your system of morality is worse than useless as it sweeps the lustful lollipop thief in with the serial killers and Roy Moore's of the world.
Starting point is 00:39:00 Old Sinus. Everyone you just mentioned. No, but dude, that's like saying that we're all tall. We are. We are all. Why are you here, Ray? I was hoping you'd lick me too. Cinnamon.
Starting point is 00:39:20 And we're back live from Skepticon, Australia! and we're back live from Skepticon, Australia! Cheers! So, now that we're armed with all these great scientific facts from the Bible, what do we do with? Well, if you've ever watched anything Ray Comfort has produced in your life, you will know it's to go out and harass Stone 17-year- olds with them. And we're going to start off with the quintessential American redneck. Now I don't know if that term translates here. So if you would think of just like a well-armed bogey who's connected to dots on a southern cross tattoo, that's your American redneck. So it comes up to the guy, this guy goes, do you believe in the Bible?
Starting point is 00:40:03 And the guy's like, no, and he's like, would it help if I lied about what was in it? Yeah, that might actually do the trick. Yeah, yeah. And there's so much desperation to get away from Ray Conferring in all of this. Yeah, but change your mind if no, just please go. Yes, if you'll go in.
Starting point is 00:40:20 But the Bible says, oh my God, you smell like cheese got a tattoo on it. I can't look at the leg. What in your brain? It's wet. But the Bible says oh my god, you smell like cheese got a task off He gets this guy that barely speaks English and he's trying to like work his words We're like trying to trick this guy at a certain point the guys like I don't these my point to guys like I don't... this is my fourth language. I don't mean it. But it still beats red, right?
Starting point is 00:40:47 Yeah, it's red. He's working a taxi cab themed bandana. And he's like, I think you're lying about it. I think we have different definitions of scientific truth. Like the Bible mentions hats that's not proof that the Bible is true. And race just just like I was really hoping you'd be more like underlay underlay not man disappointed
Starting point is 00:41:16 I also love you he points in again this is something that you find in every recovery where he's like let's see the problem clearly even in the Bible it's not you know, actual it's that you want to joke your chicken and the Bible won't lecture. So you have to pretend it's not true otherwise you don't have any good reason to be in the come yet. And then people start arguing back a little bit and immediately cuts. Yes. It gives us literally silence.
Starting point is 00:41:44 And then it'll show us like the globe for two minutes, for no reason, while that guy finishes talking, and then we come back. Yep, yep. Well, and we have pointed out that that 85% of this movie is just stock footage. And at this point, there's so much to feel the 30 minutes of this film, that they're
Starting point is 00:42:03 reusing the exact same stock footage but with no sound it's just eerily silent this cheap ass brachiosaur that they had from before stomping around for a minute and 45 seconds and then it comes back to or he convinced yet okay let's go back to this. It might be so confused if we heard Ray talking he thinks we'd be like wild excuse me to talk. Is that brach, or talking?
Starting point is 00:42:25 Is that right, Comrade, or a dinosaur? He raised a dinosaur. Yeah, just looking at bones. And this is where we get Ray's come on, listen to how silly it is that the dinosaurs were killed by a meteorite. So we cut back to taxi guy because he's done debunking whatever Ranger said. So you're saying that dinosaurs were all killed by a media and the guys like,
Starting point is 00:42:48 come on man, that's like in children's like, oh boom, firey thing, it's in a children's book. And he's like, so you're saying that dinosaurs were all just hanging around, having a beer, having a golden gay ton, and then they all gathered together on a big ex on the ground and gorgeous, swooshed in with a rock, is that what you're saying? And he's debunking evolution because meteors are like anvils in his head. Like the guy like wouldn't run one of the dinosaurs just step slightly. One of the odds they're not all not step slightly. And we literally see the guy open his mouth to answer more shock
Starting point is 00:43:35 Like when the wife opens the wrong drawer in your home. She's like I need a pair of and you're just like We don't talk about your friends enough. How are your friends? There's so funny when you and your girls get together. And I love to think, he's going so out of his way to confuse the hell out of this guy that doesn't really speak English all that well. This is an actual quote he says. And we don't get anything leading up to this, right? This is cutting away from stock footage from whatever good argument This guy just made he says so you're saying that there's nothing that created everything is actually something
Starting point is 00:44:12 And the guy yeah right that's the guy's reaction Yes, oh You guys like yes, that is a I win! You guys like, yes, that is a... He is... The stone is like 15 rubles. He's got all these things. And then we move on to this poor 16 year old stoner kid named Oscar.
Starting point is 00:44:37 Now this guy is clearly holding a blunt behind his back. You know, afraid that this thing's got the cop mustache. I think that... And the guy is just giggling throughout. He does not understand why Ray won't just give him the pizza he thinks he would. And he's like, so hungry and laughing, he just wants to do... Like, right after the cut, he just throws a lot of change at Ray, like grabs him like... He starts eating it, runs away, diving into the bush.
Starting point is 00:45:04 This ice cream's bad. It's so mean. And he says to the kid, he says at one point he says to this kid, who just told him he's never read the Bible. He's like, can you think of any mistakes in the Bible? I mean, why won't? I think I got one. Everybody in this entire audience just rappels down.
Starting point is 00:45:25 Yeah. It's disgusting stuff. Ray was like, I've been looking forward. I haven't found a single mistake in the Bible. I thought I had to attend out those of my mistakes for reading and thinking. And it's a year. It's so obviously him covering, because he's so secure.
Starting point is 00:45:44 And this is like when you're sitting with someone and they're like So like what's your least favorite thing about me and you're like oh shit, you're too interested When my wife is like oh, I think it's that you're too funny if that's your true I like that you look like a baby got sent through time. That's really into that. So I... And then of course, again, Ray Comfort makes the same damn video over and over again. If you listen to our show for a while, you probably know this, and of course if you've ever watched the
Starting point is 00:46:19 videos, you know this. So then he goes into his whole little gambit about if God judges you by the ten commandments, will you be in a center guilty? Which is, if you think about it, the argument being, if I'm right, I'm right though, right? That's it. That's all he's got. And he says, at one point when Oscar even through his thick haze of marijuana and douche-time says, no, man, that's stupid. That doesn't make any sense. Aze of marijuana and dozed hide. Says, no, man, that's stupid. That doesn't make any sense.
Starting point is 00:46:45 He goes, well, how do you think I'm telling the truth? And do you think I'm lying? And my first note was, well, that's the fallacy of the excluded middle, where you're just stupid. But to be fair, he's fucking lying, right? Because you've all heard, break up, forget into a debate with somebody who painstakingly walks him through evolution,
Starting point is 00:47:04 explains why there's no broad conducts, until he says, okay, I get it now, and then he goes under the next debate and starts talking about goddamn crocodox again. Oh, and I didn't think I was going to be angry enough. I think I've been having such a great time at Sydney. I'm like, oh, how will I find the rage? Ray Cuffer. So he asked the kid if he's lying in the kid right he's stone so he's just like yes but I'm sure you mean well. And rings answer is okay have
Starting point is 00:47:35 all of you and he's like on 19 this is funner and he's like I don't believe you huh you wouldn't lock it if I did that to you right I don't believe you you're a liar I think you're a liar and I't like it if I did that to you, right? I did believe you. You're a liar. I think you're a liar. And I wanted so badly for Oscar to be like, yeah, but I'm not gonna burn you in fire for that. I'm not gonna burn you. For not believing I'm 19.
Starting point is 00:47:55 Also, it's dry in here. I hate these brownies that Karras and Mary gave me. And also he goes, you can feel it, right? It's just, come up on this, don't. So, of course Ray explains... So of course Ray explains to this kid, you know, when you say you don't believe me, you're calling God a liar, and the kids like, no, no, like calling you. Pretty sure.
Starting point is 00:48:42 And then Ray goes into this hole, well, you put faith in your dentist and your pilot, don't you? So why not pretend people too? Like God's man that you don't believe in him, believe him that you don't believe in? Yeah, if you think about what a fucking idiot God is, that he spent thousands and thousands of years trying to convince people he exists, right? Trying to convince people that he's the only God if they're right and he is God and he's the only God and has not figured out a way in the 6,000 years to universe to spend here to prove his own existence, he's done more than everyone in this room plus say, God. Just cut over to the square root of negative one pulling out his head forward.
Starting point is 00:49:28 Come on, nobody ever. I mean, I love it. It's an imaginary number. Yeah, I see it. There's nerds in here who love that. And then there's my people who are like, why would we square? I feel you, my people. We didn't get into this for science. We got into it.
Starting point is 00:49:48 It feels superior to other people. Yeah, yeah! From honesty. Boom! Boom! Just going a few rolls, kicking over stuff. Oh, what is he, man? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm so glad that ended before you got on what you wanted to get out. Did you see that sudden realization when he realized I can't edit out a shit for you guys? You can see when we're in the studio he just lets me get it out and give you like, this is funny, you have a fun talking to the air right now. But I was just like, they're still there. No oppressed pause and then highlight and control X. And then we'll get fixed this. Yeah, right. So now we move on to this other unsuspecting stoner. This guy's name
Starting point is 00:50:56 is Angel. And he's like, Hey 17 year old, do you ever think about your own death? And it's like, is that, that feels like a threat? I'm sorry for everyone I said that too, by the way, on the way. Trying to get you in the mood. Yeah, and by the way, Ray would have us believe as sort of the linchpin of this argument that he is not afraid of his own death. And all I say to that is put your money where your mouth is, Ray. That's right, I'm calling for Ray Comforts death. How are your libel lost here? It's not libel, I didn't write it. That was...
Starting point is 00:51:32 To sit my notes. Control X. But we discovered here that Angel is a lying, feaming glass for again, when this works, is when he says, you know, have you ever committed adultery, and this 17 year old kid goes, no man, because I'm 17. And he goes, but he ever looked at a woman
Starting point is 00:51:52 with lust in your heart. He's like, I'm in Sydney. This is the cleavage capital of the world, the horse I get. It's hard not to look at the men with the lust in my heart. Oh. Do you think that juice place next door? Ha ha ha ha!
Starting point is 00:52:07 Oh! I want to use their thank you, just on their stomachs, just, you know, have a carrot. Oh! Ha ha ha ha! All of you. Woo! Oh, and you all sound like sassy little explorers.
Starting point is 00:52:20 Ha ha ha! You're lucky on the behind the table. I don't want to go into the room. Ha ha ha! So also, we explained here, and this was a first for me. You're lucky on the behind the table. I don't want to go to the table. So also he explains here, and this was a first for me. I didn't realize this before that. Apparently God is not omnipotent. There's one thing God can't do.
Starting point is 00:52:36 Ray explains that to us. God cannot lie. So you guys, congratulations, are a superior to God. And then Angel becomes Christian right on the spot. What are the odds? Well, there's only a few minutes left, so this is the classic Ray Comfort rigging the wind. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:52:53 It's like Vladimir Putin playing hockey. So, he's like, hello, I'm a real atheist. I'm an atheist. You're a atheist. Got a tattoo of Richard Dawkins on my dick. You will never convert me to Christianity, and anybody does. Yeah, and then finally, we return to that red neck
Starting point is 00:53:11 from the beginning, because his conversion is going to be awesome, y'all. Except that he never actually eventually just says, yeah, you can pray if you leave next. Ha-ha-ha. But he also brings this guy out to show everybody what a bunch of insulin assholes we are because it says, now what if I proved the Bible with science? I think I think I said, yeah, I still wouldn't believe it.
Starting point is 00:53:34 He's like, ah, gotcha! Because that's the line you wrote for him, Ray. He then says to the kid, he's like, you know, this might seem confrontational, but if you didn't believe in parishes, the nicest thing I could do for you would be to hold you out of an airplane by your ankles Yeah, let's get ready on the line and fire the fuck out. I'm pretty sure that's wrong Which is why I gave Jenny McCarthy measles the and the Bible and at one point the guy goes, well you know it says in the Quran, he says, oh the Quran, yeah! The Quran, that's ridiculous! Coram!
Starting point is 00:54:32 And then he says to himself, that was the flood. You guys don't remember part of the Quran where Ray was the fly. Thank you. You guys don't remember part of the Korean where Ray comfort flies around on the whole? That's actually the Hadeep. The Ray comfort is not in the actual books. And then he turns to the red neck. And he's like, what are you going to ask your children when they ask you why they have to die?
Starting point is 00:55:01 And I'm like, you know what? I'm not going to tell them that some evil bastard could have prevented it and chose not to. Cancer kid. Like I feel like that's the wrong thing to bring up, Ray. This is your movie. I feel like there's a lot of questions around why my child is asking why they have to die. Like are we an avon or get short story? What's going on? Why do I have to die because daddy sacrificed upon get up So welcome to the monkey house deep cuts All right, and that's basically where it at the he asked the guy you know like well Oh, can I pray for you and the guys like oh whatever man and then crutch
Starting point is 00:55:46 But here we got all the movies. We fucking love Ray Comfort. He could damn your keep us in business if all the other Christian filmmakers stopped. So in an effort to make sure that he's got plenty to work with, we decided to take it upon ourselves to find some verifiable scientific truths of the Bible. And we'd like to close tonight by offering you up our top 10 scientific truths of the Bible. I'll start us off.
Starting point is 00:56:13 Number 10. I number these one through ten, and now I'm going to say I'm ten through one just to see if I can screw you. I have. Number 10. Job 1410. Men thus diath and waste of the wet. Stayed it happened. That's true. Joke 1410, men dust diet and waste of the wet.
Starting point is 00:56:26 Stayed it happened. That's true. They do. All right, number nine, Kings 223. So this is with the bear and Elijah? Yes. So yeah, when kids make fun of ball people, we will try to summon a man to the earth. That's true.
Starting point is 00:56:46 That's true. That's fucked up. It's the worst. They're assholes. And they're mean. And we always forget to wish for more hair. And we just go straight to the baritact thing. Everybody should know that.
Starting point is 00:56:58 Especially. For everyone he's baritact in the hallway before the show, we're very excited. Don't forget. Oh, no. Number seven, Genesis 920. Some of you might remember this story. Seeing your dad's balls, good sign, your day is not going well.
Starting point is 00:57:12 So a lot of my days don't go well. A lot of my days don't go well. I'll stop texting them to you if you'd like. Do you want to have a fight right now? I'll stop texting them to you if you'd like. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha All right, number six, judges 119 Iron Chariots are more powerful than God. Yeah. How could they possibly know? No. No. No.
Starting point is 00:57:51 Number five, roof three seven. This is when she blows that guy in boas. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so blowing a guy while he's drunk is a great way to get attention. That's my positive or negative, it's attention. Or linking the slats between his toes if foot, me, doesn't mean penis or whatever they switch it's on.
Starting point is 00:58:14 Also, using foot and penis interchangeably is a fun game. I also think I gave a penis call. Unless you are at footlocker because I'm proud of that. I'm proud of that. I did a fool who we CK, and I'm not proud of it. They were just like, I'm alright. I'm like a baby's toe.
Starting point is 00:58:36 You put that thing on the little measurement thing. They will not be able to take it home. Oh my God. Walked out with a baby shoe on my penis. One of the light-up ones, so I could slap on seven. They have to sell it to you, man. They have to. Number... What do you do? They have to sell it to you. They have to. True. Number one. What do you do? Number five.
Starting point is 00:59:12 Number five. Okay. Number four. Matthew 1034. Jesus did not, in fact, bring peace to the world. Funny that. I'm going to go back to number two. Jump about. I'm gonna go back to number two, joke for number four of the actual number four.
Starting point is 00:59:29 This is joke 41-2. You cannot put a cord through Leviathan's notes. God nailed that one. Good, sorry. Again, true story. All right, number three. That is three. That's good.
Starting point is 00:59:43 Number three, Exodus four, 24 through 26. What is it? 3. That is 3. That is good. 3. Exodus 4. 24. Through 26. This is the weaponized four skin passage survival, if everybody remembers. So if somebody is not to kill your husband and you want to stop it, you cut off a piece of your baby's penis with a sharp stone and you throw it at the guy the silent yes that will distract him for me he's gonna have questions he's gonna stop
Starting point is 01:00:10 you're gonna get a second he's gonna be like what okay and then you run away you know what that yeah and now you're gone I don't want any part of this now. Number two, Jonah 1-3, boats do exist. That's true, they do. And finally, number one, Psalms 137-9. If you smash the heads of babies against rocks, they do die. John, all right, and so that's what we're doing. We're going to bring up some of our 19-year-old commercial folks, huge thanks to Australia's skeptics
Starting point is 01:00:52 and the thinking for making all of this possible, huge thanks to all of you for coming out and a huge thanks to all of them, those jervels and shit that didn't kill us before we can make it to the stage. And with that, we'll leave you with a breakfast club closed. George Pell started naming names, and Ray Comfort's mustache got prosecuted by the Royal Commission. Oscar eventually did finish that blunt.
Starting point is 01:01:28 Eli's baby circumcision self-defense class had just won a 10-D. Thank you so much guys! Alright, let me get my Ray Comfort game. There he is. Alright, Ray Comfort. The preceding podcast was a production of Buzz on a Thunderstorm LLC, Copyright 2017, all rights reserved.

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