God Awful Movies - 178: Gam178 Science Falsely So Called

Episode Date: January 15, 2019

This week, we offer up an atheist review of "Science, Falsely So Called", the movie where an uneducated, gullible, indoctrinated zealot explains how stupid Stephen Hawking is. Literally. And he does s...o with the help of a convicted felon and a man banned from at least three countries for inciting violence against minorities. It is, at once, the high and low point of our show. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 The best part is a guy with one side of his mouth that doesn't work is telling us how perfect creation is. Yes, it's one time everybody. I'm behind the whole mind and I'm here to tell you that we are grass crystal and a wonderful spin. Are you kidding me? You look like dentistry the guy. One second, let me drag my foot over to my plush dine, and so I'll explain how perfect creation is.
Starting point is 00:00:31 Oh, poopin'. God awful movie! OOVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII from Dallas, Texas. Say hello, Dallas. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And for the folks back home, by the way, we've managed to get a crowd that size during a Cowboys game in the playoffs. How about that shit? And of course, joining me from stage right, please welcome my good friend Heath and Rites. Yeah! Yeah!
Starting point is 00:01:27 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Starting point is 00:01:35 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Starting point is 00:01:43 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Low clapper real quick for Cameron who brought me to Scotch. Yes. What slower, slower! Slower. Yes, now speed up. Fold it all the way, yes! There we go. Excellent. Well done, my favorite Scotch.
Starting point is 00:01:54 She went to Louisiana in the last 10 minutes. That's how she did. Good work. So this is Heath Sway by the way of telling everyone back home that if you come to the live show and bring him some Scotch, you will get a shout out. If it's Art Meg Weijdjel or whatever it's called, yeah, that's the one. And of course also joining us tonight, please put your hands together for my bad friend,
Starting point is 00:02:16 Eli Bosnick. I All right, I hesitate to ask you like but where are the pom-poms? You don't want to know. Okay. And why are you wearing a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader outfit? My tryout went bad. But legally I own this now. Oh, they won't. Yeah, they. I can see why they wouldn't take it back.
Starting point is 00:02:57 The EMT said he had to cut it off, so. That's it. Well, I'm hoping we have an EMT in the back that can help you because I was hoping for real clothes. That'd be great. Oh, Jesus. Yes, you get your money as to where if you come to the live show, you get to see Eli's Astrix.
Starting point is 00:03:21 And by the way, I strongly encourage you to check out the God Offer movies Facebook page after this where I will be posting the video of Heath trying to get that outfit on Eli backstage. That was a task. Did you need help? You, oh Jesus. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha available for purchase. We also have mugs. I forgot shoes. And this is why it is more than a one-man job. All right, here we go, here we go. He's got his velcro ready to go. You got it. I love that you have velcro shoes
Starting point is 00:04:26 and can't be bothered to tie and untie them. That's amazing. That's the Tim Paris. 40 hour work week. So. Ah! All right, so tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today?
Starting point is 00:04:41 We watched science falsely so called. I see you've seen it. You can tell who's seen it, yeah, exactly. Good deal of you have obviously seen it. It's the young earth creationism documentary in which hate pastor Matt Powell debunks evolution by debating a homeless person. It's pretty great. It's the religious version of a grown man who made a movie about how he got his yellow belt by winning a karate tournament against his class of eight-year-old karate.
Starting point is 00:05:13 Yes, it is. Wow, and Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you love YouTube commenters, but you wish they had their own documentary, you will love this movie. This is Matt Powell making it physically impossible to feel bad for him. Yes, the movie. He is a mentally ill, 22 year old child
Starting point is 00:05:40 raised without education or opportunity. And by the end of this movie, I was like, fuck Matt Powell. I would root against him if he was the child raised without education or opportunity and by the end of this movie I was like fuck mad. Oh, I would root against him if he was the protagonist of educated. I'd be like, get her back. Come on, dad. Hit her with the pickup.
Starting point is 00:05:56 Okay, couple of you also read educated. Good. She's nicest. Okay, so I had to share this one with you guys. This is amazing. This is the description of this film in Maddie P's own words, okay? And as I read this to you, this is what comes up under the YouTube video I need you to envision this with like a like a Trumpian randomness in the capitalization So here it is quote this film debunks the theory of evolution with science. Where are we going to find the science? Oh well, we will look to the scriptures to see
Starting point is 00:06:32 what they teach about the sciences, the origin of life, and so forth. We will get with this world. Exactly. We will go face to face with the skeptics. Yep. Take a deep look at the fossil evidence for the flood as described in the Bible. We will also take this journey with a very well-known scientist. Dr. Kent O'Vind. And he concludes by saying, we will see if the Bible's predictions about science are true and ultimately follow the evidence where it leads. So he accidentally was right at the end. All right, so without further ado, is there anything you guys want, I mean, 90% of the movie, it's Matt Powell just making shit up.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Yes. Just nonsense. And then he's, he prints it out on a piece of paper, the shitty makeup. And then he hands it to a homeless atheist person and is like, what do you got? No argument. The paper's got the guy in a chokehold by the end of it somehow. But it's all lying, like easily verifiable lying. Like if you just said Siri before everything Matt Powell says in this movie, you would win the debate with Matt Powell.
Starting point is 00:07:53 Curts me as that would win. I'm going to do that forever like for a lot of people I know. Yeah. They start talking about the Fed. Siri. Go ahead. Talk about the Fed. Make your make your smart lady go away. So you already alluded to this, but're not going to go ahead and talk about the Fed. Make your smart lady go away. So you already alluded to this, but I'm going to go with best worst atheist. Now, at first I saw this and I got excited, right? Because throughout this movie, he interviews a guy who calls himself the raging atheist. He's a YouTube personality. Maybe you've heard of him.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Yeah, he's got three subscribers and 55 viewers on his biggest and his most popular video. And at first I got super excited because I'm like, oh shit, I was one alphabetical station away from making it an unemountable movie. He's like Borat Noah, but not Tom. Yeah, exactly. But as we will discuss often, he is worst at atheistic than Matt Powell is. And I'm going to go with best worst reaction to a Stephen Hawking quote.
Starting point is 00:09:01 If you've seen this movie, you know what I mean. If you haven't, wait for it. Oh yeah. Alright, well I'll tell you what, I can tell a lot of you are desperate to check the score and don't want to be rude, so we're going to pause for a quick break and when we come back, we'll dive into all the professional bigots that are science, falsely so-called. Hi, I'm Heath Henry. And I'm Matt Powell, and welcome to my movie Stocks Falsely, Nah, They Aren't. Heath, why don't you tell them why you're here today?
Starting point is 00:09:39 Well I'm here to tell them about Robinhood. The Known Criminal. Nope. Not a guy. Also, not him. No, the app. Short for apartment. Also, nope. So why don't you just let me finish talking, Matt, and then we'll get to know whatever you want to know. Okay. Robin Hood is an investing app that lets you buy and sell stocks, ETFs, options, and cryptos all commission free commission. Don't. No, go ahead and put police off. No, okay. So other brokerages charge up to $10 for every trade, but Robinhood doesn't
Starting point is 00:10:13 charge commission fees, trade stocks and keep all your profits. All my profits, Matthew, Luke, nope, nope, not those kind of profits. Robinhood has easy to understand charts and market data, and you could place a trade in just four taps on your smartphone. Nothing I own is smart. Is that a problem? Well, that's correct. Anyway, so Robinhood is giving listeners a free stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help build your portfolio. Sign up at awful. Robinhood.com. That's awful.robenhood.com. You know what, Heathen, right? I'm in clickity, click, click, clickity. Nothing there, Matt. You're just
Starting point is 00:10:54 making that noise. I'm unwell. You are unwell. Correct. What's happening with your hair? It's a, that's where I keep all my fear. Oh, just on the right side is the fear. Right side face. Anything on the left. It's like bird box, but one eye is open. As we mentioned in the intro of today's show, science falsely so called is a mixture of Matt Powell calmly pointing out what he believes to be mistakes in evolution accompanied by the shrieking insanity of Steve Anderson. We here at God of the Movies couldn't help but wonder how other documentaries might apply that model. Here, we see the wild gazelle as it stalks through the forest, looking for its mate.
Starting point is 00:11:42 What kind of idiot stalks through the forest? In these atheists they I'm not in a forest! looking for its mate. It's the deconstruction of straight-art representing modernity itself, stupid! This week, on Syria, even I know Adnan did it! And we're back for the breakdown! We didn't really go anywhere. You guys, no, don't tell anybody. It's a secret. Okay, so we're going to start this thing off with a picture of the DVD artwork. Okay, so this is a goddamn YouTube video and still Matt Powell paid somebody to put DVD artwork together and then he thought,
Starting point is 00:12:50 fuck, hey, nobody ever gonna see it. It's a YouTube video. So, so the the start of the movie is actually just a long pan over his very groovy DVD art and then we get Hitler. Like right away, I literally wrote down, all right, I'm just gonna fire up this stopwatch, see how long before they go, full god when I'm quite so Hitler. Like, who had zero seconds? Evolution is Hitler. First goddamn shot in the movie. It was amazing.
Starting point is 00:13:20 It's literally the first word spoken or written in the movie. The very first word in this movie is Hitler. Like any good discussion of evolution. Absolutely. No, fun fact, the Holocaust. It was all about Jewish people having inferior beaks for cracking open tree nuts. That was a problem. It wasn't as much about anti-Semitism per se.
Starting point is 00:13:42 It was a beak thing. And also, by the way, this quote comes from a fellow by the name of Arthur Keith. I had never heard of him. Literally, what comes up when you Google Arthur Keith is, this guy was a racist. Yes. That's the Google summary. Yes. They were like racist and scientist.
Starting point is 00:14:00 Arthur Keith, and literally, Google the Wikipedia wants to know racist first scientist second yes looks like every science teacher for me in he's hometown yeah no he does and and he talks like it to yeah okay but since we're doing a movie about evolution we've already been through Hitler I guess the the next logical place to go is Columbine I you not, we get done with the Hitler quote and then it's Columbine footage. This is a movie about evolution. Yeah, just going to fire up the stop box. See how long before we find out that evolution murders 13 children in Colorado.
Starting point is 00:14:39 Evolution is Columbine, five seconds in. Unbelievable. Oh God. And of course, Matt Powell is narrating over the top of the city. Sounds like a fucking, you're at like, have a kid on the phone that's trying to grow up voice. Right? That's Matt Powell throughout this fucking movie.
Starting point is 00:14:54 And he mentions Hitler again here, which means that we are two minutes into the movie. By the time we reach our second Hitler reference, this ratio will keep up for the next eight minutes, by the way. Yeah. And you know how lots of the movies we do have like fun, Nazi references? Not this time.
Starting point is 00:15:12 This movie is just like sad. And it's like normally the documentaries, it's like idiot interview, but then it's like interspiced with like, you know, a cutaway to a cartoon with like, Hitler punching a monkey in the face. And then like back to the thing, they don't weave it together. It's just all stupid people talking.
Starting point is 00:15:29 I feel like you and I are watching very different, uh, you know, members up. Maybe we are. So yeah, so he starts talking about how evolution inspired the Columbine shooting. He says, well, one of them was wearing a shirt what said natural selection on it. That's from evolution. Like, I wanted to see a flash cut to like Eric Harris or Dylan Klebold and he's just like that morning
Starting point is 00:15:56 being like, mom, where's my shirt that says God told me to murder? Where is it? Honey, it's in the wash. Oh, fuck, all right. Fine, I wear my evolution shirt, but people are gonna be confused Oh, fuck. All right. Fine. I'll wear my evolution shirt, but people are going to be confused. I'm trying to do a thing.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Fuck. Fine. During this whole section, I was just amazed how adorable it was when Columbine was our biggest shooting. You guys remember that? Yeah. Like watching baby videos of America. They did the good old days, yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:23 Here's the fun thing about Columbine footage. Stay with me. It used to be sad, it's still sad, but now when you watch it, you're like, what were we thinking with the 90s outfits? Girls in suspenders? What? Okay, maybe it's just me. Bye.
Starting point is 00:16:42 I also love, because Matt Powell says at this point, he's talking about how much evolution these kids were being taught in high school. And he's saying, like, air go, evolution caused them to do this, right? Because that's the only thing they were learning in school. Yeah, they were heavily indoctrinated in evolutionary teaching. That's the exact quote. That's exactly like, are we sure this wasn't a Euclidean geometry massacre or like, you're telling me this is massacre.
Starting point is 00:17:13 Really hated catcher in the rye massacre. And of course they go straight to the lie here about how the Columbine shooters were asking people do you believe in God and shooting the ones that say yes Now I don't know if you guys remember this but this came out immediately after Columbine There was a parent of one of the the kids that was murdered Who made this claim wrote a book about it? It's entirely untrue It's just some shit that those parents made up Right, but that's not gonna stop Matt Powell from quoting it.
Starting point is 00:17:46 No, it doesn't even make sense too. It's like she got shot four times and then they walked over and were like, do you believe in God? And they would have spared her life somehow after shooting her four times if she had said no. Yeah, I know. Like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:00 Start to do MedVac on her. Oh, she doesn't believe in God. Yeah, right. Right. And to make this terrible, on her. Oh, she doesn't believe in God. Yeah, right. Right. And to make this terrible, because it is sad, right? Even though the dad is wrong, it's sad because he's like my little girl died
Starting point is 00:18:12 and you're like, eh, sadness, human emotions. But then, just to make you not feel anything for this movie, they go, also they shot a black kid, but you know, moving on. Yeah, they throw that at the end. Evolution killed MLK, just so you know, moving on. Yeah, they throw that at the end. Evolution killed MLK just so you know, and again, this is what's so wonderful about Matt Powell, right? Because he's so young and we were firing up this movie and I was like, man, he's just a kid.
Starting point is 00:18:38 Maybe I shouldn't evolution caused Columbine. Yeah, he can go fuck himself. Yeah, fuck yourself. It's crazy. Yeah, Eli sends me a message going, are you sure we should never mind? So and then we get another, we get a quote directly from Hitler because we're three minutes in. So it's time for the third Hitler reference, but it's an apocryphal Hitler quote.
Starting point is 00:19:01 No, it's way too much. If you let me control the textbooks, I will control the state. It might as well be, if you let me control the textbooks I will control the state it might as well be if you let me control the textbooks I will control the state I'm Hitler Hitler if you let me control the textbooks I'll come to that sounds familiar didn't't Greg Abbott say that too? Wasn't that a Greg Abbott quote? You guys, I'm pretty sure Greg Abbott said that too. But the other thing too is like even if this is a real quote, isn't Matt Powell's whole movie about how we should change
Starting point is 00:19:37 what's in the textbooks like isn't that what he's trying to do with this movie? Isn't that the primary? So what we're saying is Matt Powell is Hitler. There's a clip for you Matt. Your response video. All right, so then we get part one. There are seven goddamn parts. We get part one, the founders of evolution. LLC. Yeah. That's what he seems to think it is. And Dammit if Kent Holbein doesn't show up at this point. No, if you were wondering if Kent Holbein would open his mouth all the way.
Starting point is 00:20:13 No. For this movie. No, he's saving the right half for his own moving. He sounds like your uncle doing a Dr. Evil impersonation. Just come on Scott. Ducka, ducka, ducka, ducka, ducka, ducka. He's like cross-eyed but for mouth. Dr. Evil impersonation just come on Scott He's like cross-eyed but for mouth Yeah
Starting point is 00:20:36 What I love the argument that he's making this is the opening argument for Ken home mind He's like well, you know people just refer to the book is on the origin of species But the real title is on the origin of species by means of natural selection or the preservation of favored races in the struggle of her life. But evolutionists don't like to say that because it makes it clear that Darwin was a racist. I'm like, oh, is that why we don't use the full 21 word title every time we refer to the most important book in the history of biology? thank you for clearing that up. Most people don't know this. The full title is Origin of the Species Chinese People Drive Bad.
Starting point is 00:21:11 That's it. Like, motherfucker, I call this show damn. That's how lazy I am. Look at these turtles now kill all the Jewish people. You didn't even lift all of them. Now look at Mitch McConnell. Keep going. Great.
Starting point is 00:21:25 And as if Kent Hovine didn't already have my rage boner up. Steve cooking can be fun Anderson shows up here in the blood vessel in it. Steve, like if Hitler was super incompetent, that's Steve Anderson. Yes, that's Steve. Yes. Fucking Anderson. The person that you've only ever heard of because of the terribly bigoted shit he says, yeah. And then, by the way, Steve Anderson shows up
Starting point is 00:21:53 in the movie condemning racism, which is how we know we have folded in on ourselves. And then we meet the raging atheist. I had high hopes for this guy. I really did. He's the best. Okay. Atheists. Bring it in, guys.
Starting point is 00:22:09 We need to talk. You all saw me in my little cowboy outfit. I'm one of you. We need to stop making public appearances, except for Cara Santa Maria for like five years. Okay guys? So when you when you want to shave your neck, what you do is you start at the jawline here. Apparently it needs to be said and then you go down an internet. Listen down an internet. You it needs to be said, and then you go down an internet, listen, down an internet, you're going to be on TV,
Starting point is 00:22:48 down an inch and a half, then just a cross from there, then turn the blade sideways, getting. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. All right, you're making Andrew nervously like that back up here. This is where we get a quote from the co-founder of Evolution. Yeah, right, right. He's not talking about Alfred Russell Wallace here, by the way. But I guess the co-founder of Evolution said that spontaneous generation must be true.
Starting point is 00:23:22 Which he did not. No, he didn't. again, a powerful bullshit quote. It's like a bullshit section because he's like the co-founder of Evolution. You know, when they started the company Evolution Inc. Matt Haco, he said, boy, if anyone ever finds any gaps in my scientific record, I believe that Jesus is my Lord and Savior. I'm Hitler. Hitler.
Starting point is 00:23:44 Wait, no. I'm Hitler. Hitler. Wait, no. I'm Greg Abbott. Wait, I'm John. But I'm fake. All right. So now, so now to really condemn evolution, Kent Hovine is going to introduce us to Ernst Hegel.
Starting point is 00:24:03 And he starts it off with by going like, well, Ernst Hegel was a contemporary of Darwin. And then he just stops like, see, contemporary, that's guilty right there, motherfucker. And then they start talking about, so Ernst Hegel, if you've never heard of him, he was an early proponent of evolution and he did a lot of work with, with embryos. He drew like, he would find these little embryos and he would draw them and and and show how like virtually all animals looked the same and the early embryonic stages, right? And it's the artwork that he did is it was so influential that it's still used today in textbooks. And according to this movie, Ernst Hegel was
Starting point is 00:24:39 convicted of fraud. That is not true. Again, this is Googleable shit, right? But he's like, he was convicted by a fraud and we still use his pictures and textbooks. And the best part is this is such a common lie that when you look him up on Wikipedia, there's a section where Wikipedia is like fraud and you're like, oh, I guess he actually did it and Wikipedia is like, never happened. I don't know why people keep saying this. It's like three guys on our chat page who will not stop. So yeah, no, seriously, I googled it. The very first thing that comes up is Ernst Hegel, fraud is proven. That's from creation.com. The next one is Hackels embryos fraud not proven. That's from the University of Chicago.
Starting point is 00:25:23 Take your pick. He also says, by the way, that all textbooks from evolution come from Earth's take, the Lamarcan. So yeah. So we get this little, this little bit of drone footage, and then we see Matt Powell in his church preaching to an empty God damn room.
Starting point is 00:25:43 All right, now they'll never show you that it's an empty room. We'll just see Matt Powell, but you can tell from the fucking echo that it's an empty room and from the complete lack of reaction to anything he says. Crazy billionaire remake. I'm just gonna hire a janitor to walk behind Matt and just be like... Ha!
Starting point is 00:26:01 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Maze our power. You have 20 minutes. Turns on a vacuum. Come on, her, babe. I gave you those jucky cheese tokens. It's my map, pal. Because he wants a hug.
Starting point is 00:26:24 Probably doesn't need a hug. Yeah, no, that would help. But the thing he says here that I love so much is these scientists set out to prove that God doesn't exist. Yeah, yeah. So it's a weird way to try and prove that God doesn't exist. Yeah, it would have been nice to be a fly in the wall in that meeting Gentlemen fellow scientists welcome today's the day that we prove God does not exist
Starting point is 00:26:56 So, uh, somebody have any recommendations how we're gonna go about proving that there is no God Oh, um, we could think about the words omniscient and omnipotent, and you know, that's logically impossible. So that would, oh, that's good. Or, or we could look at the many, many obvious mistakes in the Bible, like stars falling out of the sky that we could prove that bads aren't birds. They aren't. The earth was not created in seven days.
Starting point is 00:27:24 Oh, giants, giants don't exist. They don't. Okay, guys, these are all good ideas, but how about this? We posit incredibly early science about natural selection and then over a very long period, we spend literally forever closing the ever smaller gaps that people fit their god into. I love it.
Starting point is 00:27:45 That sounds fantastic. Awesome. Yep. Sure we don't inspire Hitler. It loses something with a magic when you see it live, right? The doodly does. All right. So now it's time for this, okay, it's time for the raging atheists
Starting point is 00:28:05 to try to explain how evolution works to Matt Powell. He doesn't know and Matt's not listening, so it's uncomfortable. And he said, there's one point, I'm sorry, I've got to point this out. There's one, okay, so one of the little various scenes that we're gonna see over and over again in this movie is this thing where Matt Powell
Starting point is 00:28:24 or Steve Anderson will just be sitting around in a room full of Steve Anderson and Matt Powell clones while everyone in the room nods at what they're saying you know like intellectual hype men I guess and one of the guys at one point here pops up and he goes you know a lot of atheists make fun of us for believing in a book that was written by man and I gotta gotta say, that's not what we're making fun of you for too. I mean, I don't know if you're listening to this episode, but it's, it's the hair. Yeah. He has three hairlines. And we think we make fun of him because he doesn't believe in evolution. I mean, we'll get around to that eventually. Looks like Johnny Depp and a one-man show of Benjamin Button and he's like, it's because
Starting point is 00:29:09 of the evolution, right? Yes. Also, do they not make fun of scientists for operating like a religion without realizing what they're doing? Oh, fuck. And over again. I'm just like, if you look at the worst scientists, you'll notice they operate on faith. Fuck, okay.
Starting point is 00:29:27 That keeps happening. Can we cut this? Are you still rolling? Well, and then to try to make up for that, right? To try to recover from that. He's like, also, you know why we have suicide and abortion? Evolution. It's like he does a wrong lightning round.
Starting point is 00:29:42 He's like, suicide has gone up since evolution's been taught in schools. Nope. Nope. A portion has gone up since evolution has been taught in schools. Yeah, yeah, technically because it was illegal when we started doing that. But yeah, Dan and murder have gone up since we started teaching evolution. Dan is gone up. It's gotten to the point where 100% of people are doing it. It's got to the boy where 100% of people are doing it. It's fucking idiots. And then, it's like bird box. If you look at, it's finch box.
Starting point is 00:30:13 If you look at evolution, you throw yourself under a bus. Yeah, obviously, clearly. And okay, at this point though, we're seven minutes in, so it's time for another apocryphal Hitler quote This is the make the buy big make the lie simple quote Which again is is not I don't know who the fuck said it but it wasn't that was Jesus no Well, yeah, this morning like cuz I started googling everything he said in this movie because everything turns out to be wrong I was like at a certain point we're gonna find out this guy's name is Mike fucking powers, right? It was getting things wrong for no god damn reason the quote works whether or not it's Hitler
Starting point is 00:30:53 But apparently we're done with the the founders of evolution because it's time for part two of the film the origin of life and They they throw a quote up for this one and I only point I don't even remember what the quote is, but I only pointed out because it's one of these indicators. We get this a lot in Christian movies that they're not counting on a lot of strong A team readers in their audience. It's nine words. It's up there for 14 minutes on there for an hour and a half. A little pronunciation guy at the bottom.
Starting point is 00:31:21 It's like, you can pause this video for as long as you need Underneath that you can pause this video to read about pausing this video All right, and then of course Matt Powell explains the second law of thermodynamics to us which according to Matt Powell says and I quote Ordered things go towards disorder. So he has disperved the existence of sand dunes here among other things. Oh, and he's got a quote, he's very fond of this quote that Stephen Hawking said, and again, I didn't look up the quote. He's probably making this shit up to, but he quotes Stephen Hawking as having said that if, you know, it was a slight, ever-so-slite change in the rate of expansion of the Big Bang to the tune of one in a hundred thousand
Starting point is 00:32:11 million million, the universe as we know it couldn't exist. Which Matt Powell will use for the rest of the show to argue that there is a one in 100,000 million million chance that God doesn't exist. Name a bigger number, too slow, you can't. Exactly. What's the best is Matt really struggles with this number every time, so he has to hand sign it out for himself. If you watch the movie, he goes, one in every 100, God it nailed it right over here on the
Starting point is 00:32:39 left. 100,000, that's three zeros, more. Don't lose it, Matt. Come on. Million, another three zeros, million, another three zeros, and then he stares at the raging atheist like, mm-hmm. And then he's like, sorry, that was confusing.
Starting point is 00:32:59 Watch me throw six dice. Yes. There we go, 20 days, six dice and slow motion. Now do you believe in God? Still no. Well, I opted this point, by the way, because we've already spoiled it for you. We've told you that the raising atheist is just a crazy person. We didn't know it at this point, right? I'd never heard of the guy, but you know, like when Ben Stein did his expelled movie, right, he interviewed Richard Dawkins for it. So you can interview a competent atheist and then just cut it to make that person look stupid or look like he doesn't know the answer.
Starting point is 00:33:30 So that's what I thought was happening. This is the first time we realized the raging atheist is fucking crazy, right? Because this guy at this point is going, well, could have been aliens, what made the universe? Right? He was seconds away from like the Jewish lizard aliens invented the universe out of turquoise in 1975. He was right there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:50 I started thinking like maybe Matt Powell just brought his brother in law, one of them devil shirts and said a prayer over the receipt later or something. It's every conversation you've ever had after you've bought hard drugs, but aren't allowed to leave yet. Just like, uh-huh. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ooh. Better get to do in this cocaine, you just sold me, huh?
Starting point is 00:34:12 Nope, it's fine. Okay, we're talking about the FED still. Oh, right. That you're 19 year old girlfriend walking through and just one of your shirts, that's cool. That's cool. I don't want to come here anymore. Hi.
Starting point is 00:34:29 Scout's sticky. How's high school? Math is hard. By the way, you don't know this, but he's personally attacking Heath, right? No, I'm kidding. but you don't know this but he's personally attacking he's right you don't no i'm kidding i'm getting the the the the the the the lovely young woman that he is with uh... is is almost almost a quarter of a century old so more than that more than that
Starting point is 00:34:59 he are you looking in different directions to pretend we're not here in the middle of a live show. So the fed is a Ponzi. And this is where Matt makes one of my favorite arguments in the movie, right? Where he understands the Big Bang so badly that he says, I mean, the Big Bang created the universe. When is an explosion ever created anything? And he looks at the raging atheists like, and the raging atheist looks back at him like, and there's this great moment where two people who understand nothing that either of them
Starting point is 00:35:36 have said, like, I wanted them to cast this. Oh, man, like this. Oh, no, no, no. Well, yeah, no, I, I, I, I, I, and also Steve Anderson cuts in to say, to make the same point about how eval, er, explosions can't create things. I don't know, I mean, I feel like they can create rubble at the very least. But Steve Anderson is always speaking in such an emergency.
Starting point is 00:35:59 You always think he's about to act it out because he's like, an explosion creates nothing and he's gonna pull out the big cartoon tea See nothing I also have how often it just seems like Steve Anderson is baiting us because he says something if I said all the universe was in one little dinosaur spot you'd look at me and say you're an idiot Well, I was saying I can't can't pretend that I wasn't saying that and you did just okay Nazi sure do love to call me fat
Starting point is 00:36:38 and Then of course we get a great quote from the Bible about how foolish all of us atheists are. But the best part is they forgot to leave out the second sentence where it's obviously someone ranting at their K-Mart greeter. Triggas, fool says in his heart there is no God, it's weak, right? It's really awesome. It's like, I'm smart and you're stupid.
Starting point is 00:37:00 But the second half of that quote is they have never done anything nice for anyone. Right. And they put the whole quote up because they don't know that second part shows how crazy they are. But you know, to be fair, he actually attributed a quote correctly at this point, which was nice. That was a big step up for Matt Powell. He also, he's, he's not so what's going on in the film here is he's trying to drill
Starting point is 00:37:27 in with the raging atheists to have this guy explain Big Bang cosmology to him. This homeless atheist guy he found on a bench somewhere to explain Big Bang cosmology and he can't in the, in a sound bite and therefore it's on true right. Like how would order emerged from chaos in a tweet you have three seconds go time ran out while I was asking you the question. I want the debate. All right. So then we get some constipated asshole telling us that evolution is a religion and I'm thinking
Starting point is 00:38:01 at this point. Okay. I don't agree with you, but can we at least both agree that That would make it a bad thing Right like how often can you say well you're terrible you're like us kind of Jesus and of course they explain to us that we ain't never seen evolution happen any know-how so how could we know We ain't never seen evolution happen in any know house or how could we know? And first of all, yes we have, but secondly, I've never seen fucking Brazil, right? That doesn't make Brazil a religion.
Starting point is 00:38:33 But so this guy is Matt Powell's dad. We think, because the 100% is Powell. And I think he thinks that evolution is like you're holding a duck and it's just like, oh my God now. I had duck a second ago. Well, sir, let's not try to impune this guy's scientific credentials too much. There was a periodic table floating around on the screen as he was talking. So obviously this guy knows his science. And then he says, I believe it's Steve Anderson that
Starting point is 00:39:05 cuts in here he says you know this and that just can't magically come into being through the big bang and he has to add through the big bang because halfway through it he realizes that oh wait fuck magically came into being is my argument isn't it? It can't magically come into being through the big bang it It would need a magical space wizard of some sort to yeah picturing him in Harry Potter class Yeah, he also he also explains the three steps of science to us at this point Yeah, it has to be testable has to be proven vote. That's kind of the same. And the periodic table behind the science. They keep doing that, dude, they keep listing
Starting point is 00:39:57 things like has to be no, it's never any of the things they said. No, they never get anything right at all. And a bull. And then, hammock. Dioffinous. That was just for Heath. And then we get a quote from another insane Christian guy that agrees with him. So either they're right or multiple people are stupid. OK, so it's getting less and less likely.
Starting point is 00:40:23 And then we reach the absolute low point of my life, which is when Steve Anderson starts explaining to me how science works. But they're trying to make the complexity argument here, and this is such a stupid fucking argument, because they say, you know, they're talking about, like your body has a hundred trillion trillion cells, that's way too much for not God.
Starting point is 00:40:42 And they start talking about the complexity. I'm like, look, if I just took 2000 toothpicks, dropped them on the fucking floor. The resulting pattern would be complex as hell, right? You don't for complexity, you don't need a designer, like complexity happens on its own all the fucking time. But more importantly, if you threw those toothpicks on the floor, we could convince Matt Powell that's a baby. Get it, Matt, no.
Starting point is 00:41:11 Sure. I also loved Kent Hoverd's example of the human body being super complex. He's like, look how amazing we are. Watch, I stubbed my toe. Owie! That's it. Yeah, how did my face fucking know to say owie so fast? Jesus. And the best part is a guy with one side of his mouth
Starting point is 00:41:36 that doesn't work is telling us how perfect creation is. Yes, that's one thing about him. I'm here to tell you that we are a grass crystal and a wonderful spin. Are you kidding me? You look like dentistry the guy. One second, let me drag my foot over to my plush dinosaur and I'll explain how perfect creation is. Oh, pooping. Steve, can you get that? Oh, poopin. Steve, can you get that? Oh, he's already on it. Look at him. Why? Help me. I love the example that Kent Holbein uses here too, because this is just another example
Starting point is 00:42:21 of this movie getting shit wrong that there's no benefit for them to them for even saying it in the first place Kent Hovine says at one place talking about how many cells there are in your body and he's like and each one of them sells is more complicated than a spaceship the most complex device ever created by man No, oh, I think feel like the LHC would maybe have that. So this is where Maddie poses to the raging atheist. He says, all right, now look, here's how I'm going to disprove this evolution thing to you. I could bring you a whole beaker, full of DNA, an RNA, and skin, and you couldn't make
Starting point is 00:43:02 it into a living thing. Right? That's his argument here. Why would you be able to do that? Right, right. Look, I've said that to people before, but it's been a threat. Not a threat. I can bring you a soup canful of DNA and membranes
Starting point is 00:43:18 is a solid threat. Let me tell you. There is a reason why Matt Delaunti is sitting three rows back. Yeah. Hey, Meg. Yeah. Huh. Who's some DNA soup?
Starting point is 00:43:33 You guys want some? Never take DNA soup for me, lie. I feel like. Never tell me lie. You remember the mimeing he was doing about Steve Anderson? It's like that. I just, I feel like this argument came about because Matt Powell had a like a soup can full of skin and had to come up with an excuse. His dad comes in. Matt, Han, what's going on?
Starting point is 00:43:56 Oh, for A-Z-ism! Is- I also love it one point of it is scientists have never created life and I'm like come on man they get laid occasionally I know it doesn't happen often. Alright so then oh then we get the title drop, right? We get the Timothy quote where the Bible tells us to watch out for science falsely so called. So we understand why you have that awkward and clunky, fucking title to begin with. And Steve Anderson comes in to back him up on this.
Starting point is 00:44:38 He's like, the Bible talks about science falsely so called. So there must be such a thing as science falsely so called. And I'm like, it's this fucking documentary, dude. But then I'm like, wait a minute. Are you also saying that there must be unicorns and seven headed dragons and lion horse locust birds? Those are words. Those are words you just said it. Yeah, but that's real. Also, and this is something that you get in every creationist documentary, every anti-evolution, every anti-science documentary that you'll ever watch. They spend the entire time telling you about how you can't trust scientists, and then they'll
Starting point is 00:45:12 throw up quotes from scientists to try to make their fucking point. Now, they're always quote mind bullshit, or they're not really scientists. Or they're crazy scientists from another field. Yeah, right. That you can play a trivia game with your friends at home, just be like, all right, what do really scientists or their crazy scientists from another field yeah right right that you can play a trivia game with your friends at home just be like all right what do you guys think quote it out of context or crazy scientists that was crazy scientists yeah it turns out he's a vacuum cleaner maker who is wrote a whole book about evolution they can't stop you legally it turns out, yes. Dr. Lee Strobel up there.
Starting point is 00:45:45 And. And again, Steve Anderson's trying to shit all over evolution and atheism by saying that it takes faith. Again, no, it doesn't, but can we agree that that would be bad, right? I mean, he says, you know, we all have faith in something. It's just the unscientist demand that their faith be backed up But demonstrable evidence I'm fucking this up shit shit
Starting point is 00:46:11 Then we get the sweatiest living human But I who had the giant rivers of sweat in his eyes have you ever seen someone sweat so much you think they're crying? Yes, well then you should watch this movie Do you think someone sweats so much you think they're crying? Yes. Well, then you should watch this movie. No one at any point in filming was like, hey man, you look like you just watched the end of Sophie's choice. Do you want to wipe off your crazy, crazy, shiny, wet face before we start the film?
Starting point is 00:46:37 He would not like to do that. He would absolutely, like the flop sweat is pooling in the bags under his eyes, like heavy, you could see it. Like I thought his eyes were gonna like flip inside out, like a bamboo water clock at some point. He's like, Blin, it was really close. So we're gonna zoom in and see the bad guy from Mad Max Fury Road closing a gateway somewhere.
Starting point is 00:46:58 That is enough. Yes. Do not let water control you. Well, and then this guy says, like, he's like, well, you know, the one thing I would ask them evolutionist if they'd talk to me is where did life begin in the first place? And I'm like, oh, so you changed the subject? Well done, sir. And then we get, I have to say not only my favorite moment of this film, but quite possibly
Starting point is 00:47:26 my favorite moment of all time. This is what he throws out a Stephen Hawking quote and I believe the quote is something along the lines of, I'll be Stephen Hawking, you be Matt Powell, okay? 100% accurate. Okay, I'm not going to do the Stephen Hawking voice, don't worry. Stephen Hawking said, because there are laws such as gravity, the universe can and will create itself from nothing. That's stupid. That's retarded. Literally what he says. Yes, in his own documentary.
Starting point is 00:47:57 He went through his documentary and he was like, guys, should we keep the slur? You remember when I yelled a slur by myself in an empty church for those 20 minutes before my doctor's appointment? Ha ha ha ha. In the movie, out the movie, I'm in a room alone. So let's vote in. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:18 How you doing back there, Steve? We're gonna keep all of this. Including the slur. What's so funny is that Eli had kind of warned me that this was common, this part of the movie was common. So I'm in my hotel the other day and I'm watching the movie and I get to this part and I was like, he gives the Matt Quatt, the Stephen Hawking quote,
Starting point is 00:48:36 and then he comes back and he just goes, that's stupid. And I had to pause the thing and I'm laughing for like 15 minutes. I'm texting Eli, right? I'm saying like, oh dude, I don't know where you are in the hotel, but I'm sure you can hear me laughing. I just got pause the thing and I'm laughing for like 15 minutes. I'm texting Eli, right? I'm saying like, oh, dude, I don't know where you are in the hotel, but I'm sure you can hear me laughing. I just got to the part.
Starting point is 00:48:49 And then I turn it back on. And the very next line is, that's retarded, how much? Do it. Do it. This gets so much worse. Also, can anyone explain this? I've never heard this quote before, the one about the Nats and the camels.
Starting point is 00:49:05 This was amazing. Oh, Steve Anderson, I think Steve Anderson made this up. I think I looked it up. It's actually a real thing. It's a real thing. It's a real thing. So atheists are straining at a net and swallowing a camel. You know, he comes back to swallowing camels a lot.
Starting point is 00:49:22 He goes to has a, damn. Yeah. But apparently that means like penny wise dollar stupid. Okay. So like at least Christians are consistent about being stupid for all the money amounts. I don't know. I didn't understand the point of making, but that's what that means. Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 00:49:40 And then we get, we have a quote from Romans. This is Romans 122, the professing themselves to be wise, they became fools thing. And that's a company by that, that him and the raging atheist guy. By the way, every time we see him talking to the raging atheist guy, it's in a black and white filter. So he's like, yeah, I talked to an atheist, but it was in black and white y'all. It was pretty scary. It's in a black and white filter and Matt's pile of paper notes is in every single shot along with his empty water bottle.
Starting point is 00:50:08 I wanted his snack to be there. He's like, pushing a luncheables out of the friends. Lumps as I can make pizza anytime. And I was like 25 minutes into the movie at this point. He just does like a best of real. Yep. Right? Like they just have this quote up there and they keep showing shots of the,
Starting point is 00:50:25 that we've already seen of him talking to the raging atheist and the raging atheist looking stupid, didn't take much. And then we get part three. Part three is the flood. Time for some real science. Yeah. So the first thing he brings up and if you've been doing, if you've talked to a lot of Christians or creationists, you've heard this, if you've talked to a lot of Christians or creationists, you've heard this one before. He starts talking about petrified trees that are in multiple strata of rock, right? And these are called polystrate fossils. It's, they're uncommon, but they usually come out about in flood plains or near volcanoes,
Starting point is 00:51:01 etc. But apparently Kent Hovine thinks the only way this could happen is if one tree stood in one place for several million years as the sediments piled up on top of it. And he says, you know, I used to teach geology in schools. I should know. And I'm like, yeah, you shouldn't. He actually points out that he's surrounded by geology books. And I was like, oh, maybe look in one of your geology books
Starting point is 00:51:26 Yeah, I know I know my shit look at all these books. I've got around me. Don't touch them. Don't touch them there They're just for show There's no anal words in any of these. There's like model home geology books They're just cardboard cutouts and shit. Yeah, one of them fell open the other day. I thought I caught a hint and it was terrifying. Also, of course, they give us the argument of the flood must have happened because there are sea shells at the top of Mount Everest, which of course, I mean, if you know anything about how the earth itself works, there's no reason for that to be mysterious to you. Of course, it really fucks their argument up that all the mountains don't have seashells on them, right? Also, what does that... What do they imagine? Like, the flood covered everything,
Starting point is 00:52:15 and then one crab was like, fuck it. I'm going all the way. Where's that TV movie? Because it was there. BOOM! Book you atheism. Also, I want to be reincarnated as Steve Anderson. And also, he says at one point, he goes like like Steve Anderson comes on and he's like and if the flood story isn't true Why were the Sumerians talking about it too? I'm like because that's where you ripped it off from Right, that's where you got the fucking idea He also says that every religion and every culture has a flood myth not fucking true
Starting point is 00:53:02 But but ours is true. You see him catch himself. He's like everyone's got a flood myth, not fucking true, but ours is true. You see him catch himself. He's like, everyone's got a flood myth and we have a flood trunist. Oh, steamy. You almost got me, steamy. You almost got me, me. Yeah. Then we get a quote from second Peter that basically says, he says, you know, eventually people are going to notice that all the shit we said was going to happen didn't happen. Those guys will be assholes. And also, by the way, for some reason, at this point, because up until now, all the quotes are read by Matt Powell, but they got like a really good quote reader guy for this,
Starting point is 00:53:45 you know, like he's all British and raspy and everything. Like they really wanted to go all out for second Peter. He found some public domain second Peter. Yeah, right. And now just to make sure that this is truly a scathing atheist best of Adam Fanon shows up. Adam, now for those of you who don't remember, Adam Fannin came across our desk for narrating a, I'm gonna say fantasy, we're a gay waiter invades him
Starting point is 00:54:11 in his wife's dinner date and he has to be like, get outta here, you homo! And the waiter's like, yaaas! And runs away, but in this movie, he's just there to have trouble modulating the volume of his voice. Well, Adam Fanon's argument is amazing. He's like animals die all the time. I ain't never seen one turn into a fossil.
Starting point is 00:54:33 The whole earth was buried underwater. You look at a fossil record. You'll see a whole bunch of deer in backstroke position. Actually, that's how you know it's flood. Flood. And now it's time to get truly stupid. Now, it's when that stuff is. Right, right. This was the, you may not have realized that, but that was the high intellect part of the program. Now we get to part for dinosaurs and man
Starting point is 00:55:07 Yeah Yeah, and he starts this one off and I had never heard of this before I'm assuming a lot of you have but he starts off talking about these Incin burial stones that had dinosaurs carved into them and I immediately thought that this was gonna turn out to be like this shit That they say oh look the they had ancient aliens and the walls and the Egyptian tombs and shit, you know, when you look at it and you're like, no, that's kind of just like a deer, but it's not drawn well, right? But no, this is even fucking worse. This is a known goddamn hoax where somebody had carved all this shit into rocks, fucking buried it for 15 minutes, and then sold it to Christian missionaries as proof that dinosaurs
Starting point is 00:55:43 and men live together. Yeah, no, that's real. A farmer in Peru, like, drew in crayon on some rock. Yeah. Baked them in literal cow shit to get like a patina around them and then sold them to a Christian person for a bunch of money. But also, okay, but even if this isn't a fucking hoax, right, if this argument is true, what you're saying is that like future archaeologists will know that we truly did live in the world populated with garden gnomes. Right? If we look here at this ancient high school notebook of Eli Bosnik, Wolverine was his dad and wanted lots of hugs.
Starting point is 00:56:21 Or maybe not as, I mean, maybe parents were different then. Not as dead. We just turned the page. Not as dead. Oh, you didn't write some slash erotica when you were in middle school about the comic book character Wolverine. Ha ha! Seriously, did anyone. Okay, one person. That's all I need. Yeah, there we go. Ha ha ha! Two people. It's a kink. Twenty. It's a religion. Seriously did anyone okay one person that's all I need yeah Two people it's a kink 20 it's a religion
Starting point is 00:56:54 Pean my feed Wolverine all right I Don't want to spoil the album it's coming out you'll hear it All right now of course if we're gonna establish though that the dinosaurs and men live together we're going to have to knock down that silly-ass asteroid nonsense that the scientists always tell you So they pretend for the purposes of this movie that the scientific theory is I shit you not this is their explanation of it That an asteroid came through and beheaded all the tall dinosaurs As it came down. That's literally what they seem to think the argument is.
Starting point is 00:57:28 The dinosaurs were just, and one, two few times, apparently. And then we get, there's a very brief moment here where we have an actual atheist. This is Godless Engineers, a YouTuber you guys might know. He did an interview with Matt Powell during this interview, Matt Powell by the way claimed that you can tell that dinosaurs and manco existed because there are pictures of the terraces that fought on the rebel side during the Civil War for realsies. He thought they were just on the south side yes racist dinosaurs
Starting point is 00:58:07 racist dinosaurs heritage not hate i'm here at Thanksgiving with my weird kids now and i have to say to godly in in godly's engineers defense here so he's talking about what I would I assume the Inconstones were, right? He's hearing this argument from Matt Bauer and saying like, okay, yeah, I've seen a lot of this crap where like people pull up some Aztec pottery and say, look, that is ours. And it's like, no, not really. It's just they
Starting point is 00:58:40 weren't super good at drawing things with you know anatomical precision back that So you're saying ancient Aztec drawings on a rock with a crayon weren't amazing artists. That's racist That's racist. That's the argument Steve Anderson actually comes out and basically says that he's like well Then I guess bad artists have been around for a long time like yeah, they predate good artists kind of by necessity, right? And then we get, and I love how they all bring this shit up, right? Every single one of these that we've ever watched always brings up the behemoth quote from the Bible, right? About how its power comes from its nail or navel and its tail moves like a cedar, you know, like a dinosaur. From its navel. Yes, it's lizard navel. From one of those dinosaurs with
Starting point is 00:59:33 an umbilical cord that goes into the egg and hatches a different dinosaur like that. And he says, a lot of people read that quote and assume it's talking about an elephant, but elephants tails don't move like cedars. Nothing moves like a cedars. Cedars don't move. That's a tree. That's, but I also, I love Steve Anderson's the first one I've seen who's, again, we've seen this 15 times in different documentaries that we've watched, but Steve Anderson is the only one who doesn't notice
Starting point is 01:00:06 cut the goddamn quote off before I get really silly. Right, so he keeps going, is tale moves like a cedar, its bones were of brass and iron, it was the will of God incarnates. Like, dude, let's go back to the tree bit. You were doing so much better with the tree tail bit. Elephants don't have bones made of iron, idiots. Also, and then this is a great moment by the way, I have got to point this
Starting point is 01:00:31 out because Kent Hovine says at one point is like, you know, they use these dinosaurs to indoctrinate children. So even before a child knows how to read, they know more about history than me, fuck. Fuck. That's how smart I am Jesus oh yeah and then he talks about how he's got a whole ministry that uses dinosaurs to make kids believe in Jesus he says scientists have used God's greatest preachers the dinosaur against him and I think dinosaur preachers are a great idea I wonder what that would be like. What that would be like.
Starting point is 01:01:06 What that would be like. What that would be like. Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ? No, man, it's Saturday morning. I'm just trying to get this. Sir, can I just ask you one question, just one question. Do you know when you'll die? Oh, look, I know where you guys are to get this. Sir, can I just ask you one question, just one question. Do you know when you'll die?
Starting point is 01:01:26 Oh, look, I know where you guys are going with this. For instance, you know that at any moment an angry Taranosaurus Rex could rip your head off. That's true. That's true. Then you be dead. You be dead at that point. Why don't you come in, boys? Come on in, come on in, I'll make you a drink.
Starting point is 01:01:40 Thank you, thank you, thank you, appreciate it. Lovely. Coffee? No, thank you, I'm a dinosaur. That's... Thank you, I appreciate it. Lovely. Coffee? No, thank you. I'm a dinosaur. I will have a coffee. See we have to close the parentheses otherwise you guys should be totally fucking lost. All right. Why are the dinosaurs talking about the movie? This is weird. Alright, well, I'll tell you what I think. Which one's Lucinda? Alright, well, I know we've
Starting point is 01:02:14 given you guys a lot of bullshit to process, so we're gonna pause for a minute to let you catch up, but first, let me give Act 3 the hard sell. Can Matt Powell use the party like a big boy? Who's a good boy? Is Matt a good boy? Find out the answers to these questions and more when we return for the elastic conclusion of science Falsely so called So by this point in our show, it's fairly obvious that the brazing atheist was not the best person for the job.
Starting point is 01:02:48 What you may not have known is that he spent a full year preparing for this conversation with our very own heath and right here now for the first time are the tapes of those training sessions. And so if he says, if Matt Powell where did the shells the Grand Canyon come from? I want you to say I don't know. It's probably God nope. Okay Literally anything but that we just We don't have a time whether or not there's God nope. It's not better. We just said don't do that Okay, so when when Matt says
Starting point is 01:03:24 So you believe the impossibility that a turtle could just pop out of the air. Your job is to say anything, but yes, do you get it? Don't say yes then. Got it. So you would make a turtle with my mind. Didn't be. Didn't. Just don't. Don't. Ha ha ha. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 01:03:55 Eli is now trying to make a turtle with his mind. No, no, no, no. We're. And then. And then. Who's your favorite? Wolverine! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We're gonna try not saying the word aliens for an entire minute. Do you understand what I just said?
Starting point is 01:04:28 Do you? I want you to say it out loud that you understand what I just said. Yes. Okay. No questions. Just a minute. You just don't say the word aliens is all you have to do for that entire minute. Aliens?
Starting point is 01:04:40 God. Motherfuck. Dinnin' in here! and we're back and you can tell by the enthusiasm of that applause that you guys didn't check the Dallas score. Not good guys. Not good. This was definitely the better way to spend your time. You didn't want to watch that game. And we're back for more of this shit, just to summarize.
Starting point is 01:05:13 So far, we've learned that God is real. Stephen Hawking is stupid and dinosaurs were to the vacuum cleaners back in the day. And now it's time for part five, simultaneous creation. Now this is an argument I had not heard before because it's not remotely true and it's stupid. But he found an article in Tech Times. You don't read Tech Times every day? The King of Science.
Starting point is 01:05:42 He actually says that Tech Times, one of the top science websites. Anyway, this one's not on the top 100, but there's a very poorly written article on there where they misinterpret the shit out of some data and say in the article that 90% of Earth's animals appeared at the same time. Now this is a shit argument that creationists have jumped all over despite the fact that it's not at all what the research showed. Also doesn't matter. No, like was that in the Bible? Like and then God created 90% of the animals. And it was 90% good. I don't remember that from Genesis. The other
Starting point is 01:06:19 thing about this argument that's so fucking stupid is even if it's right, like the time they're talking about is 200,000 years ago, right? That's significantly older than earth by their reckoning here. But they say, you know, like, well, evolutionists will tell you this species is millions of years behind this species and this species is millions of years ahead of this species. This is not what evolutionists would tell you, but he says, no, it looks like they all evolved at the same time. Well, almost all evolved at the same time.
Starting point is 01:06:52 Also, by the way, literally the final sentence of this article that Matt Powell presents as his trump card. Yes. Remember correctly? Yeah. I wrote this down. This is the actual final sentence. The last time such an occurrence took place was 65 million years ago, they're talking about the major extinction event. When an asteroid hit the earth and killed off the dinosaurs and half of all the other species on the planet, and quote, please don't use this article in a Christian documentary act.
Starting point is 01:07:19 That would make you stupid. Yeah, and he says he's like, okay, so the way this works is that he'll present the argument to us, the audience, and then they'll show him presenting the exact same argument to the raging atheist and the raging atheist gone, man, fucking no, you said you'd give me soup. I want a pillow from a bench. They put spikes where I sleep. He goes, he says to the raging atheist, he goes, according to this study at debunks evolution, I'm like, no, no, I feel like that would have been the lead. Right. It's got to disclaimer, this does not debunk evolution at the end. Yeah, yeah. And then we get some idiot fucking up the chicken
Starting point is 01:08:06 and that question, he gets it wrong. They all get it wrong. You got a 50-50 shot. Yeah, you can see him working through it and coming to the wrong answer and realizing he's like, so obviously when we think about that, the answer to which came first, eggs, or the specific animal of the chicken. Chicken.
Starting point is 01:08:26 Well, and what I love about this, okay, even if God created all the animals, it was kind of a dick move not to start the chicken as an egg though, right? Like, because like all of a sudden there's this full grown fucking chicken going, I don't even know how to chicken, man. What the hell? You're going to weaned me into this shit. fucking chicken going, I don't even know how to chicken, man. What the hell? You're gonna wean to me into this shit. But no, it was the chicken, obviously, obviously the chicken.
Starting point is 01:08:53 And then they threw out a quote from Stephen Gould. Now this is a quote that anyone who is arguing with creationist will be familiar with. Stephen Gould said quote, the absence of fossil evidence for intermediary stages has been a persistent and nagging problem for evolution now steven gold should have known better than to ever fucking say that right because gatama all fossils are intermediary or like to know you'll never see anyone who's an
Starting point is 01:09:17 intermediary age give me a fucking break but the other thing is to like what he did the guy who you know it co-founded punctuated equilibrium is arguing against gradualism in this quote right if you know anything at all about Stephen Gold you know what's going on here surprise surprise they don't know anything at all about Stephen Gould also if you just went off the headshot that they use of Stephen Gould in this movie you would think he is an opera themed prostitute and he literally needed a glass of water for that sentence
Starting point is 01:09:52 in the shot he's holding glass of water pouring sweat for his one sentence quote it's the best well it also says the other those with a lot they're like the darwin said that there must be missing links, but we never found any. Because once we find them, they're no longer missing. That's a link. You're deducing a link. That's how missing works.
Starting point is 01:10:16 I mean, I get how you don't know how evolution or the big bang works, but you know how missing works. All right. So now Matt Powell is gonna give us another science lesson. He says has anyone ever observed an animal change from one kind to another kind? Give her watch an ami but turn into a person personally. No, exactly. Turn into a different animal now. Oh my god. Wolverine. Nope. You got excited for his second.
Starting point is 01:10:56 Also, there's this. There's this amazing moment with it. No Eli me and the listeners at home will wait. I was miming Wolverine being on my feet. Should have come to the live show. So. All right, there's also this amazing moment in this, this bit he's talking to the raging atheist guy and the two of them are
Starting point is 01:11:23 trying desperately to remember which kind of bird is associated with Darwin. They're like, well, you remember Darwin had them pigeons. Bidgen. No, it's a, what are those? What are those? Dums. Wolverine. Tumor flinching. Tumor flinching. That would have been closer than they actually got. Yeah. He goes, um, at one point, Steve Anderson cuts in here too,
Starting point is 01:11:48 tells how stupid we are. And he's like, you know, these atheists idiots, they've never done this research themselves. And that's true. I've never been to the Galapagos. I'm taking this shit on faith. He says, sometimes when I, this is amazing to me, he goes, sometimes when I thought the evolution is,
Starting point is 01:12:03 they don't even know what I'm talking about. Can you believe that? Me, Steven Anderson, shoutin' at them as they try to use a urinal. And they say, how did you get in my home? You're an old lady's home? Yeah. They have fancy houses. I can't
Starting point is 01:12:33 want to hear it all in my home now. Patreon.com's that's God devil. He needs your will put a urinal in his home where he doesn't want one. Oh, the catch guys. I mean, I'm going to use it, but still. I kind of like it now. I'm going to rest my longboard in here. I'm 38. 37. I do have a longboard.
Starting point is 01:13:02 So. It's pretty sweet. Cruising it. I'm doing very well in life So and of course at this point he has to show us a bunch of evolutionists failing Right, so this is where we get the Lawrence Kraus a clip We're basically some Christian broadcaster has Lawrence Kraus and and they go explain to me in a sound bite How the universe exists scope because I'm smarter than you. That's why.
Starting point is 01:13:26 That's why. Yeah. You've asked me how like a toddler, like 10 times in a row during this TV interview, it's because I'm smarter than you. Yeah. Yeah. And of course, they explain here that no law of science says things come from nothing. Now, that's not true, but no law of science allows for the existence
Starting point is 01:13:46 of their God either, right? So again, is this the standard we're going by now? Because if it is, I'm happy to make that trade with them. All right. So let's see, we also get the evolutionists can't explain a biogenesis. The same way that geology can't explain where baseball came from. That's how you know geology's bullshit. Steve Anderson actually says, I don't want to see an evolution job. Oh God. I want to see a picture of nothing turning into a single cell organism. So like, he wants to see a step by step drawing of circle.
Starting point is 01:14:26 Like. Oh, okay. I get it now. Steve fellow along and I lost you. You guys. I also love. You're growing real loud Steve. I love always the things that we think that cells came into existence
Starting point is 01:14:44 without like, you know, any material or anything. Yeah, right, right. And he ends up yelling, amoeba's are fucking complicated. Yeah. That's the end of that speech by the way. I thought he was about to like defend his buddy who just got broken up and his buddies in Amoeba.
Starting point is 01:15:01 He's like, Amoeba's are complicated. They're feeling. They laugh. they cry, Dave the Amibis everybody. Amibis is now doing a Amibis impression. That was an Amibis as a stool fucking comedian. Oh, I thought he was fucking Wolverine. I'm Meeba impression. That was... And Meeba as a stool fucking comedian? But... Oh, I thought he was fucking Wolverine.
Starting point is 01:15:28 I'm glad. I thought the Meeba was gonna kill him. Yeah, I'm just... Oh! Because in a Meeba, he doesn't have a neck, so he slips through. He gets satner. And if you didn't get to see the two aside on the evil pantomime, and it's because you didn't spring for the fucking
Starting point is 01:15:53 ticket. All right. So and of course, Kent Hovine, uh, Chimes in here to tell us that the big, big bang is not just regular stupid. It's extremely stupid. He says, evolution, it's extremely stupid. He says, evolution, that's extremely stupid. Oh no, I'm sorry, it's the big bang that's extremely stupid. The evolution is a different kind of stupid. And the way he backs this up, by the way, is to
Starting point is 01:16:15 say, well, you know, nobody's ever seen a star form. With their GoPro. Yeah, that, that takes 10 million goddamn years. All time you now, go. Yes. Former star. Do do do. Time up. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:36 Oh, God's real. There's also this great moment where like we've got the four Yes Men sitting around the table and stuff. And the one guy says, you know, the atheists get so mad at us for using the same examples all the time. But until they refute those examples, we're gonna keep using them.
Starting point is 01:16:52 Can anyone refute them? And he looks to the other three Christians in the room and he goes exactly. They might as well pan around the empty room. Yeah. He's doing the Christian version of your friend who just got his ass kicked and everyone's trying to like figure out
Starting point is 01:17:09 how he didn't get his ass kicked. He's just like, yeah, thank you for the tissue. If I had gone crazy, he'd be dead right now. I got a good one in there for a second. Yeah, did you see? Yeah. Oh, I pooped so hard. A lot, dude.
Starting point is 01:17:25 Do you need help? Steve will get it. Thanks, buddy. You're the hero Gotham needs. All right, so then we get Steve Anderson is Batman. I am the Knight! You either live long enough to become a villain! I am the Nights! Either live long enough to become a villain! Or you die what?
Starting point is 01:17:53 Now you're nailing the Steve Anderson doing it, yeah. All right, so this is where we learned, and I didn't realize this, I've been an atheist for a while, you'd think I'd know this. We realized that the atheist position, when it comes to seashells in the Grand Canyon is that atheism and God are tied on that one. Yeah, the raging atheist, not doing the best job
Starting point is 01:18:12 as presenting us, he's like, okay, look, we'll agree. There's been two sides on the Grand Canyon. Right. Yours, mine, and ours. What? Every Friday on TBS, 9 PM. You're going to give me a purple mattress or what? And then Matt, Matt Powell trots out another stupid, tired creationist trope about misinterpreting
Starting point is 01:18:38 science where he says he pulls out a picture and he says to the raging atheists, he's like, explain this to me. This is a picture of Tyranosaurus blood. And the raging atheists is like, I want a lawyer. I didn't do it. It was a meme. And again, if you've argued with creations, you've encountered this before. This is a, this is a, it's not a hoax, it's just a mistake, right?
Starting point is 01:19:02 It's somebody who found a Tyranosaurus fossil that had some ostrich blood in it. Right, they sequenced the DNA in it, and they're like, okay, either tyrannosaurus has had ostrich DNA, or this isn't tyrannosaurus blood. Or I'm Wally Coyote. Yeah, right. Also, I don't know who this guy is, I have him just down as weird old guy
Starting point is 01:19:24 staring at young girls in a mall. Roy Moore? Damn close. That's what he did. Yeah, no, he didn't just stare. He didn't stop it staring, no. It'd be great if he's just stared. Yeah, I would have been a step up.
Starting point is 01:19:38 But this guy- There are some young girls in the mall. Yeah, you didn't that didn't really fit in with the Kaden sea like um so he chimes in he gives us this little nugget he does. He says humanists don't believe in the Bible so why should we trust humanists about what the Bible says anyway let me explain evolution to you some more. Well done sir. And then of course, it's time for us to marvel at just how right the Bible got all this cosmology. For example, the earth does hang on nothing. Boom, Qed. And he starts to form a list and then he realizes he only has two he's like the Lord said that
Starting point is 01:20:25 he would hang the earth in the heavens. The Lord said he would hang the earth in the heavens. How many times do I say it before it's a list? One more. Yeah. No, come on, let's not tell him sure. They also had the fact that God, the Bible knew that the earth was a circle. How could the Bible know the earth was a circle?
Starting point is 01:20:47 It couldn't because it's not. No, it's not. And this is my personal favorite part of the movie. This is where they just show a shot of Aaron Ra. Yes. Now, no audio. No audio. Now, Aaron's really good at talking, but Aaron, Aaron, you're here tonight, right?
Starting point is 01:21:07 And for you at home, we're here. We've all got to admit, and Aaron, you know this, a still shot of Aaron Rye is a great point for Christianity, right? And you're just like, wow. So they've got a wizard on their side with videos. He's also a pirate. Also, I didn't realize this until we watched this movie. There are like 700 videos of Aaron Ross sitting on Matt Powell's face and punching him in the balls until he vomits.
Starting point is 01:21:45 So if you're ever having a bad day, you just want to sit back and listen to Aaron Robby like, Matt, don't throw up in your own mouth. Do it. By the way, for whatever, for what it's worth, I've told him before it's pronounced and he gets Heath's name wrong all the time. Don't take it personal. Doc's blood. That's what. That's what. That's what. Yeah, no, but I do so close.
Starting point is 01:22:13 You wanted to do it so bad. All right. And then, of course, we get some more, some more best of, right? We get some more highlights of his best burns against that homeless atheist guy. And then it becomes a god awful movie to the second power, right? Because they drop in a clip from expelled. Ben Stein's talking to Richard Dawkins and it's this clip. It's my favorite clip from expelled where he's talking to Richard Dawkins and then suddenly
Starting point is 01:22:39 in voice over, Ben Stein comes up and he says, wait a minute. Did Richard Dawkins just say X? And I'm like, why didn't you say that live, man, when he could have answered? Why did you have to add that in post? Cuts to a shot of Ben Stein walking away from a fight with his wife, you're fat like your mother. What?
Starting point is 01:23:01 No, I did that in voiceover. And then- Aaron Ross had shot. It's Aaron. See what I mean? I just didn't matter how many times you tell him. All right, then we move on to the penultimate subheading of the film. This is part six, professing themselves to be wise. Sounds about right.
Starting point is 01:23:24 Yeah. So in this part starts off, okay. So Matt Powell is doing some hardcore research and we can tell because of the backdrop here. He's in a Barnes and Noble in the fiction section. Yes, he is. He's literally in the fiction section because he's an idiot. He did not have permission to film here. You can see the camera being hidden under someone's quotes,
Starting point is 01:23:45 knee coat, and he's just like, cool, be cool. Pretend we're looking at books. Ha ha. And by the way, we see the Barnes and Noble in the same creepy black and white that we see when he's talking to the atheist guy, because apparently like bookstores
Starting point is 01:24:03 are also scary to Christians. So in his voiceover, while he's doing this, he's just, you know, after talking to many atheists about their worldview, I'm like, wait, many? Why are we only seeing the one then, Matt? Why are you only showing us the one? The other's all whipped your ass. I just, I want to see like a nine year old girl walking out of there with Matt Palgam. I was fucking easy.
Starting point is 01:24:23 What the hell? He's just like, we're gonna have to find a homeless guy or something. I'm sorry, y'all. But he explains that after talking to many atheists about their worldview, he's realized that we don't even know what our worldview is, which is, I was a sad thing to learn.
Starting point is 01:24:39 And then of course, we go on to Stephen Anderson angrily not understanding cosmology again. He's so angry about it. You know who doesn't become inconsolably furious by their own words? Who's that? Science teachers. No. Yeah. He is so angry though.
Starting point is 01:24:57 He's screaming again. Oh my God. So he's he's talking about like, you know, well, there can't be a singularity because that violates the second law of thermodynamics. And of course, it fucking doesn't, right? Because we're saying all the energy was in the one place. But you know, it does violate that law would be a god that says let there be light in the universe existed. That would violate thermodynamics. But no, instead of dwelling on that, we just get Steven Anderson
Starting point is 01:25:28 getting increasingly yelling. He says, now he's yelling about, he's like, imagine looking at this world and thinking it came about by accident. The shot they're showing as he says, this is the Manhattan skyline. Nobody thinks that occurred naturally, Steve. Steve thinks there's like an extension of the monkey to human picture where like the human slowly gets bigger and bigger, square and square.
Starting point is 01:26:00 Then gets attacked by the Jews. Turns into Donald Trump's America. Oh, now we're fucking depressed, Eli. Thank you. Dying Amoeba. Suicide Alamoeba makes his second appearance in the show. If you would like a suicide Amoeba plushy, we are selling him at the back. We have four. They are illegal.
Starting point is 01:26:32 Yeah, now the thing is, is there actual size, so you won't, you'll have to trust us that you got one. So, okay, and now it's time to, there's time for them to talk about Richard Dawkins. And let's face it, Richard has given them some ammunition. All right. Old people don't count, first of all.
Starting point is 01:26:50 That's something guy. Like even if they do though, like maybe Christianity shouldn't bring up the pedophilia thing, which is what they do. Yeah, right. They talk about when he said he couldn't condemn mild pedophilia. And I'm not going to defend that fucking quote. But I will point out that what he was talking about was his own molestation, which is a little bit different than saying, no, you're gone molest some kids, right?
Starting point is 01:27:11 Right. That would be Catholic. Exactly. Don't bring that up. It's like, it's like having OJ take the stand. Like, don't bring that up in your movie when you're Christian. Well, but then they say like, you know, they're like, well, these atheists can't even think of a way to condemn pedophilia,
Starting point is 01:27:27 but the Bible is consistent over time about its morals. Yeah, the book about the guy that raped a 14-year-old so he could kill and torture her son? That book. That's consistent, though. It is. Yeah, right. Not even close to mild. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:44 Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Hardcore. Okay, yeah, right. Not even close to mild. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Do you remember the subway guy? He lost a bunch of weight and then he had a bunch of child porn. So there was a day at subway headquarters. This is important. There was a day at subway headquarters where someone got a call and they were like, hi, yeah, Jared, what's up, buddy? You what? I'm sorry, say that again, you fucking what? How many? Doesn't matter how many terabytes stupid questions we're gonna ask
Starting point is 01:28:29 Cool cool cool cool cool cool. No, this is great Well, I'll tell you what Jared It's a good thing I'm an amoeba Full of me the circle Well done. Well done sir. Well done Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He throws out a clip of Neil deGrasse Tyson talking about the simulation hypothesis, right? As a way of demonstrating what a bunch of fucking loons we are, right? That we all think we're living in a simulation, which is not what he was saying. But still, the point here that you should take away from this is, right? Like that is more likely than your silly ass religion. But no, not to correct you.
Starting point is 01:29:28 He doesn't call it a video game, does he? No, he does not. What does he call a video game? Matt Powell says, and I quote, Neil deGrasse Tyson thinks we're all in a computer machine. Aw. Computer machine. Aww. Computer machine. He's 22!
Starting point is 01:29:48 He's 22. He can drink. Ha ha ha. And make movie. He can vote. Ha. Oh no. If he can find stamps.
Starting point is 01:29:57 Twice in California. Yes, huh? All right. So yeah, and this is, of course, where he, we started to see, you can tell he's winding down here because he starts to show like himself, like shaking hands with all the people that he's interviewed as they walk off. Interestingly enough, they have a shot of him shaking hands with his cameraman and his sound guy.
Starting point is 01:30:18 As though to say, I sprung for a cameraman and his sound guy. I was going to film the cast party, but mom said we couldn't. He even says at this point, and I love this so much. He says like, you know, in this documentary, we only scratched the surface of the evidence that disproves evolution. There's a lot more smart shit I could say. I'm not going to say it, but there I could go on and on saying smart shit in this movie that I'm talking in now Hello today
Starting point is 01:30:52 We won the movie this this day score movie one atheism Don't say too. No. No.
Starting point is 01:31:06 Alright, and now at this point, the movie is actually over, but it goes on for another like eight minutes for reasons that I am completely baffled by, right? Because it comes up here and it goes part seven, the problem of evil. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting. I thought, wow, he's going to bring up the problem of evil. I wonder how. Interesting. I thought, wow, he's gonna bring up the problem of evil. I wonder how bad he'll fuck this up.
Starting point is 01:31:28 Right? How bad will his excuse be? Very bad. It will be non-existent. Right? He will present the problem of evil and then go, bye. This is like if the last 10 minutes of my bio-pick were just like chapter seven, Josh Gad.
Starting point is 01:31:43 Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. my bio pick, which is like chapter seven, Josh Gad. So he brings up this pastor and this pastor, and it's a sad story. The pastor had a kid who had some genetic condition that like gave him a very short and miserable life, right? So this is a good example of the problem of evil, right? Why would God create this kid just so he could torture him for eight or nine years and then kill him and make his parents miserable and give him this terrible life. And if you're wondering how he's gonna answer this again, he's not.
Starting point is 01:32:09 Credits. Yes, he's gonna answer him with the fucking credits. He's basically gonna say like, all right, you can disagree with me if you want, but then what you're saying is this fucked up kid isn't in heaven. Asshole. And I think one of the points he was making was like, this kid just been tortured for years of his life then died. Like he prayed for death and it worked. Yes. God is love. Yes. Also, the dad who is telling the story about his son has the best name of a ministry I have ever heard. He is the pastor of living in spite of ministry.
Starting point is 01:32:54 Good morning everyone. Welcome to Sunday. Fuck you. Get on up here. We don't have any of those fucking Jesus crackers, but I stole this box of wheat things from my mother's house. It's old, we're doing this for spite, get up here. Mla, Mla, and the box is empty, get the fuck out of here, see you next week. Live in and spare of you, me and your strings.
Starting point is 01:33:22 It's like rage against the machine killing in the nave of but reversed That's so weird So and the mystery so basically what this this preacher tells the story about his kid and his kid was miserable and then he died Cuz God's great and he says our dying son was just another opportunity for us to love Jesus And I'm like he could have sent a note right opportunity for us to love Jesus and I'm like, he could have sent a note. Right. And he said, a nice little note. When it done the trick.
Starting point is 01:33:49 And then, quite suddenly, the movie's over. Yeah. Right. That's it. It's just like, yeah, no, I get it, I get it. You didn't know how to love Jesus. So he tortured a child for 11 years, I get it. And the best part is the last 20 minutes of this movie are a sermon and all of our notes are exactly the same
Starting point is 01:34:07 It's stay tuned for the Bible way to heaven and all no no no no no Matt you can't make me You'll never know done now my a well hours are up I am done time to shut down the old computer machine All right, so guys that is gonna do it for episode 178 We bring that to a merciful close, but once again, I want to thank everyone who showed up here I want to thank everybody who came to the VIP dinner I want to thank everybody who came to the VIP dinner. I want to thank everybody who came to platinum night. I want to thank all of you for coming out and missing that very terrible Dallas Cowboys
Starting point is 01:34:50 asking for this. And of course, the huge thanks of all to this guy right here who's been working his ass off. If you can get you curious, this is Morgan. This is our audio, Jeneer Morgan. Mamo. And if it wasn't for him, you'd never hear any of us. Also want to give a big thanks to Anna and Lucinda
Starting point is 01:35:08 who are at the back. If you haven't had a chance to check out the merch desk, we've got a lot of merch for you there. And of course, most of all, we want to thank Matt Powell for being a fucking idiot in public. Ladies and gentlemen, Matt Powell! Yeah. Yeah. You imagine imagine and on that note he just kills himself like an emima we pull back the curtain he's just hanging back
Starting point is 01:35:33 there oh rough are and can you zoom him into something small we can bury to something small we can bury. And a moment too late, Andrew's giving me the breakfast shit upside. I so, and on that note, we'll leave you with a breakfast club clothes. The raging atheists died of starvation when the government shut down and took away his food stamps for way too long Maga That's real it got real
Starting point is 01:36:17 Matt Powell went on to listen to this episode of God awful movies. You know he did hey, Matt Fuck you Yeah! Do you really do? Do you really do? Thanks for the cue Morgan. Great job, you're killing it. Morgan's mad at us. We made him wear a bassinet thing. We carried him around today and he got a band. It was more of a pupoos.
Starting point is 01:37:01 But he couldn't get out. It was a fun... We'll talk. You'll see the pictures. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle on a thunderstorm LLC copyright 2019. All rights reserved.

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