God Awful Movies - 191: Gam191 Flat Earth Clues (8-14)
Episode Date: April 16, 2019On this week's episode, we do last week's episode again but dumber. --- Come see us in Cincinnati at the American Atheist annual convention: https://www.aacon2019.org/ Check out Marsh’s interview... with Mark Sargant here: http://www.merseysideskeptics.org.uk/2017/01/be-reasonable-episode-038-mark-sergant/ If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/
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And okay, but then he closes this on this weird out-of-know-our conclusion and he's like,
and think about it, if we could just all agree that the world was flat, we would learn
to treat each other better than we treat ourselves.
What?
What?
Yeah, you lost me, Mark.
How'd you get there, Vitt?
Take me there Mark.
We're doing spheres and hate, motherfuckers, spheres and hate.
Yeah, oh, the Varylees Cubes and Indifference.
Yeah, but nothing will.
Oh, come on.
Not awful.
Movie. OOVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII at least that's what the man wants you to think is my good friend Heath and right, Heath, welcome back. Thanks Noah.
So you know when movies start really getting good, when is that after part seven?
They really, they really hit their stride around part eight on a March,
Sergeant and the fucking MCU same basic thing.
Yeah.
And Mark Sergeant, They get it.
And of course, sitting 900 miles to my northeast, you just heard him, but I'm going to introduce
him anyway. That's my bad friend Eli Bosnick. Eli, how are you this fine afternoon, sir?
I'm amazing, Noah. It turns out that God was the killer of the whole time.
Yeah. The call was coming from inside the dome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The call was coming from inside the dome.
Yeah.
All right.
So everybody's going to talk before I introduce you.
That's fine.
That's fine.
So joining us once again this week is author, podcaster, activist, skeptic, et cetera,
Michael Marshall, Mars welcome back, sir.
Hey, no, hey, everyone.
Thanks for having me back on.
Always a pleasure to join you guys and a pleasure to, you know, pick up what we started
last time and really, really drive this one home.
Yeah, I felt like we hadn't spent enough time exploring this theory really.
I'll need some more clues.
I feel like the host of blues clues at this point, we should have figured it out by now.
All right.
So tell us, Heath, must make it official. What will we be breaking down today?
We watched Ibbid. I'm not giving this flat earth nonsense another intro. Last week we
did flat earth clues segments one through seven. And this week we did segments eight through 14. It's the story of
Ibit No, that's fair. All right, so Eli how bad was this half of the movie?
Well if you weren't convinced by
Not looking at flight aware and you still have six more clues to put in your movie
You will fuck you Bill. Nice science guy. Oh, you thought
there wasn't going to be a fuck you bill. Not a science guy. That's on you, Lister. That's
on you. Yeah. And there's seven more. Yeah. No. It's like making cuts in it. It's
don't worry about it. Okay. So, so last week, of course, we tackled the first half of
this thing. So if you just, you know, if you just listened to the occasional episode,
if you jump in and now you're doing it wrong, you're fucking it up for all of us. Go back
listen to last week's episode. And you know, that was going on.
Oh, for a second, I was actually quoting from the movie. I was, wasn't I? All right. So
let's start at the end here. I did you guys find this week's
clues more or less convincing than last weeks.
I bid. I reject the premise. I'm going to go with less and that's impressive to me.
If you told me at the end of last week, oh, just wait until you get to the worst clues.
I'd have been like, really? And they said, exist. Yeah, the argument somehow managed to get worse or less existed, right?
Yeah, they get less coherent as an argument, but they also just seem to have way less kind
of impact. Like this whole thing builds towards a conclusion in the worst way that I've ever
seen anything build. It just sort of peed his out to a point in the worst way that I've ever seen anything built
It just sort of peeters out to a point where the last couple of clues you like what are you even saying now Mark?
12's a good number. They were 12 disciples. You my god. You could have stayed at 12
You didn't have to get to 14 mate. We could have been the last episode even shorter if you didn't
12
It feels like he was under contract for 14 clues. Right?
Right. Just want to re emphasize, we're saying it's less coherent than what we described last
year. It became impressive just vertically speaking. All right. So is there anything you guys
want to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? Yeah, I'm going to say best worst YouTube comments.
Oh, that's a huge one.
It's fantastic.
I'm going to read two of my favorites.
First from Susan, we got the following, quote, your story is fiction.
It is not in my Bible. I'll give you creativity, but to suggest
that God is using some kind of computer projecting into our world is blasphemous. That's why this
is wrong. He's getting yelled at from both sides, including whatever that side is, or, you know, edge or curve. I don't know.
Yeah, from that area, who knows the geometry on these things?
Yeah.
And from Ruben, quote, if God existed, I imagine he'd be pretty upset at these videos.
All right. So a thumbs up for Ruben from me.
Yeah.
I'm going to your best worst ordering because you're already alluded to.
If you have 14 things and you really want to leave people with a grand impression of
your overall amazing genius theory that really blows apart, blows the lid off this whole
dorm, this whole kind of global idea.
You don't put the shitdest ones at the end.
And there's everything. Oh, and also,
by the way, fuck Bill. No, he's just got more to do that. We'll get there, but that's
not how we order things.
That's engineering. What science is that asshole?
Oh, shit. You're going to be a bachelor of, of alternate, I think. Yes.
All right.
So I was gonna go a couple videos earlier.
I was gonna back it up to where probably he should have ended it.
I was gonna go with the best worse therefore.
And it's certain, I, I don't want to spoil this, but at a certain point, he explains to us
how the world might benefit if we all understood how flat it was. And it's insane.
Like even by Mark Sargent standards, it's insane. Oh, yeah, there's got to be like a squiggly
under the word therefore in his script. Just like, no, no, no, no, no, grammar check or
an analog check. No, you're not using that correctly.
And I was going to go with best worst filmmaker gratitude.
Now we've had a couple of people who make our movies reach out to the hangtags, but if
you look at the posting of the first episode in the Flat Earth clues on YouTube, the last
and saddest comment is just Mark Sargent being like, thank you. Thank you for letting people
know about my movie. I am not turning into a corn cob. These are genital words worse.
You can't see me. I like them. I like them. I like them. That's great. Makes it feel bumpy.
All right, well, if I'm going to twist my brain into flat earth
or arguments again, it's going to need a minute to stretch.
So we're going to take a quick break.
When we come back, we'll take it all the flat,
tootinous bullshit that is flat earth clues eight through 14.
Lou Lou Lou, doing God's death.
God's death is my favorite stuff. Lulu Lulu.
Um, Mr. God.
Sarah, Sarah, what's shaking?
Yeah, uh, this is Michael Marshall. He's from, uh, purgatory.
New castle, new castle.
Like I said, purgatory. Uh, Marshall, I'm not going to remember that.
I'm going to call you Skinny Mike.
Ha, I love it. Skinny Mike, yeah.
Fine, okay, so right.
There he is.
It's about that giant dome, the giant dome that you created around the whole world.
Do you want a piece of this pot pie, skinny Mike?
Yeah, the world. I mean, it appears that the humans they've...
Because I will ring you out like a wet towel. Yeah, they've discovered the world. I mean, it appears that the humans they've, because I will bring you out like a wet towel. Yeah, they've, they've discovered the edge. What, what are we going to do?
What do you want us to do about that? Wow. My creations have finally discovered the truth.
Yes. At least they know Mike Laurie. So tell me, skinny Mike, who are these brilliant
truth tellers that will frantically bring religion to the unbelieving. Well, so it's mostly mentally ill people and white supremacists.
So my crossover is...
It's 100%.
Yeah, yeah.
Wet towel is full of gum.
I got that, yeah.
Just ring it out.
Twist it.
Waste.
Hi there, listener. As you may be aware, we've kindly donated
our time to QED not once but twice. You invited yourselves last year, including my magical
talents. You forgot the name of the editor of the skeptic magazine on stage at our gala. But sadly, QED is never happening again.
It very much is happening again.
We've just we've taken a break.
It's all, which is why it's more important than ever that you attend the 10 year anniversary
celebration of the Mercy Side Skeptic Society, the fantastic organization that brings you
QED, be reasonable and occasionally incredulous.
Oh, yeah.
Right now it's roughly on par with your blog.
How dare you?
So if you're in the area or if you can manage it, head over to mssx.co.uk for details.
Hope to celebrate 10 amazing years of fantastic skepticism.
That's mssx.co.uk.
Please, please don't invite yourselves again.
No promises. I juggle.
You have an extra towel.
And we're back for the breakdown.
So just a quick refresher.
We learned last week that the earth is a disc.
There's ice around the edge.
Don't move the top illuminating control of the space movies.
With that groundwork laid, we're going to join the action with part eight, the creative force, which intentionally
miss directs you and makes you think this is going to be out about who created the god damn dome,
right? No, also reject the groundwork. You laid some. I reject it.
Important that we be clear about this.
But okay, so this video is about apparently one time he was telling these lies to somebody
and it made them sad.
That's the best.
He's like, yeah, they really got sad.
Like some people got sad from this.
The rest of this science video is gonna deal with that,
you know, flat earth melancholy.
I'm not kidding either.
He says those words, like people were like,
oh, flat.
I'm so sorry.
My happiness was tied to the geometric shape of this.
Yeah, but he's gonna help guide us through that depression that we're feeling, I guess. That's a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,
very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,
very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,
very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,
very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very describing there. This crazy like, like, like, basically started describing John Gauss invisible valley. Yes.
It's a master race of libertarian tax evaders and their crazy futuristic from thousands of
years ago society. I don't know. It was very confusing.
Yeah. So apparently Wakanda back in the fucking day decided to build a tower to the sky. So he's telling the
tower of of of Babel, but he's doing it insanely. He starts off with this super high-tech
culture that didn't know fear or laziness, right? They didn't even have words for those things.
So yeah, so all of the Wakandans decided that
they were going to call out the dome builders through their ancient broadcasts, right?
They like sent out a radio message saying, Hey, dome builders, what the fuck with the
dome and shit?
I love it. Fuck you, dome, the TV show is the first thing these people thought. Just
ancient Wakandan Tucker Carlson just reminder once again, whoever
built that dome, fuck your face.
Fuck your.
And now Jersey Shore.
Don't see sure.
I have no more advertisers.
Yeah.
But yeah, but it's super can hams are
right. So they was some of the but the broadcast didn't work. So they build the tower of
baby, baby. Yeah. And on my loan, when you when I saw the picture of this tower, this
tower, it looked awful, a lot like some sort of futuristic dildo. It was very clearly. Yeah. So to the dome, but yeah, yeah, well, like a Tim Burton penis. It was like an express
penis tower. It was twisty, like skewed, but definitely a dick. Yep. I love the idea was
that they were just going to build a tower big enough to knock, ring the bell. What?
I was the planier. But yeah, guy, other side guy.
It's like someone's trying to see me
looking through the windows. I know
you're in that look, you hide in
behind the sofa, but we can tell
that you're in the door.
Don't make me god damn it. Don't
make me build another tower 30
miles away so I can look in the
other wind mother fucker.
God shows up at the edge of
the dome. They just like diving into the bushes. A 700 foot tall flaming bag of poop
represented to the Lord. They all yelled in unison, we
come for you. And they yelled it so loud, the dome shook. Although I think ony some of
them, like they just said they could feel a dome shake because they didn't want people
to feel bad. So no, I definitely felt the dome shake. Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
But you made it shake, man. It was quiver, and it was quiver. By the way, does Mark Sargent think the Tower of Babel thing happened in the future?
Does he think that's not a crazy person sentence that I just said?
He's showing us future stuff and he's talking about the Tower of Babel, the Bible, right?
Well, yeah, but they were super high tech back then.
You see, this is the first go at
high tech civilization. This didn't happen on Earth, man. This was under dome 1.0. So
this is a totally different place.
Yeah, this is this was the the super advanced people, the people who didn't have a word for
lazy or fear apparently, which he then he then says, you know, when they found out the
truth about the dome, they weren't afraid of it. They were just arrogant. It's like, yeah,
because they didn't have a word for fear. You've built this into your own world here.
This is like a he said world, you're building. Yeah, they didn't. How you feeling, Steve?
Oh, what? I'll tell you not that other thing. I hope they did have a word for failure.
It was just like this didn't know where that word came from.
I know what 100% failed.
And also, okay, so this is what Fox with me is so much about this.
He is oddly specific on the details, right?
Like he gives us measurements on the towers.
Like it was 30 miles wide at the base and hundreds of how where the fuck is
this coming from? Yeah, I do. And was any evidence of this, the remnants of this tower
if we're still in the same kind of unit. Yeah, it's, it's, yeah. But of course, the creators
of the dome were like, oh, fuck man, they're going to show up and they're not going to
believe it when we turn all the lights off and everything. We need to change their languages
and shit. And, and that's when they change their languages and shit. I never understood this part of the story. Like, I feel like
that literally changes nothing. Like no, I've worked on construction jobs with like old
Irish guys that are incomprehensible. You cannot understand a goddamn word. They're speaking
English. I'm in New York. So I know they're technically speaking English,
but you just figure it out.
It's mostly like grunts and hand waving.
Yeah, put this in the same language.
On top of the other brick.
Put bricks on the pile.
Okay, got it.
Yeah, we don't need a language in this.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I think it's not just the language.
It's a culture that comes with it, you know.
Because you change all the build of the tower to different languages.
The French guy keeps going on strike.
The French ones are all vote to be out of the tower project but to the left.
That's the creative when the tower project is finished.
Alright, no that makes sense. That makes sense.
I was going to say the extension for the Brexit from the tower is in a couple of weeks. It's pretty excited.
It's been delayed since 4,000 years ago, but
any minute now the Compton agreement. It's going to, it's going to, no, I'm, I am faith in you.
So, so God was like, all right, how do I deal with this tower? This is a pain in the ass.
I guess I could push it over because I'm God or I could make people have different languages and
clothing and food and great about your
fake religions to go with my real ones for race wars.
That's the first thing I said, read that back to me.
No, no mind race wars thing was great.
We're doing that.
Yeah.
So God created languages, he destroys the tower or they destroy the tower or whatever.
And then real history
happened. Well, just before the real history, there's a bit that really confused me because
he said all the people who worked on the tower, they were scattered and new people were
introduced. So how, where did the first ones go? Because it's an enclosed dome with no
end. And how did you get more in when it's an end-close don't we know? What did you push them up through one of the vulgar
animals?
I actually have a theory about what they did with the old people.
Wow.
Right in the fucking right.
I get all the way up the first time I went out.
This is goddamn it.
They seem like super sad.
You're gonna be a fucking sky up.
So mad. Wow I get first iteration or piss
That's oh man. Yeah, okay, so do over yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe maybe you need to spit to the language a bit Um, you know, maybe even color them different colors. Oh good call. Yeah, yeah
What a believe you're gonna do with these ones different colors. Oh, good point. Yeah, yeah, look at that. Go. Fuck it, damn it.
I can't believe you're going to do with these ones though.
I'm not sure.
I mean, you did that on top of that.
I missed the other fucking access that I could.
Give him a podcast.
Yeah.
Yeah, that sounds good.
And by, I'm going to put the podcast.
Motherfucker was somebody's dad.
It's like the radio.
You know the radio.
Radio's. It's like the radio. I'm gonna fuck you know the radio.
Radio's.
Okay, all right, sure, why not?
So all right, now this takes a weird, hard shift to tell us about how artsy we are.
Right?
God saw us making art and he was like, oh, cool. That's nice.
God saw us making art and he was like, oh, cool. That's nice. I bet if I made more forests and jungles and shit, that would inspire them to be more artsy.
God didn't think of art on his own. He knew this art.
It was after he invented multiple languages. I don't understand.
I love the fact as well. He said people were doing all this arts kind of stuff and he thought,
oh, this is great. So he said the adjusted the landmasters to inspire them more, but
he's then, therefore, suggesting that all of the landmasters were changed after we'd
already started.
Yeah, right.
Right.
We've already started drawing everything. So let's stick a moon in and we've been writing
about stuff.
We were just added afterwards. I want that page of the diary. A weird thing happens
today. This new mountain just. It's a great. I'm sorry, Gabriel, they got nothing to compare
to something that hits your eye like a big pizza pie. Thanks. That's great. So yeah, so
God added mountains. And he made a bad weather apparently.
Also, this is when they added the moon.
If you're a big moon fan, this is where it shows up in history.
Also, okay, here we go.
This is an actual sentence.
God added stars so that quote,
when the people could see further than their own eyes,
there would be more to see.
Okay. Yeah, right. No, that would be more to see. Okay.
Yeah. Right. No, that would be blindness if you couldn't see further than your own eyes.
How would he be blind?
Does anyone else feel like we're sitting on the hood of Mark Sargent's car and he's
trying to sleep with us?
No, when I look up at the stars, I see just stars take a dick out.
But okay, but then he's, but look, everything comes with a price.
And as Mark Sargent points out here, the price of art is more race.
Yeah,
God has to do some omnipotent weighing on that.
Yes.
So he talks about God and the angels trying to decide, you know, if you should keep the
war and lose the art or lose the art and the war to get, yeah, right.
That was that was their that was their big decision here.
What do you think?
Holocaust worth it.
If you guys seen Schindler's list, it's amazing.
I got guns. I got butter. I don't know. I can't just have both all of it.
But he still hasn't actually said it's God in the angel.
Right.
Because he's still talking about the dawn builders and this is important because this
comes up later on. I get very confused later on and we'll get there. But he hasn't fully
fleshed out the entirety of this world view because he's just got dawn builders who have built the dome to keep us in.
And yeah, that's who were deciding whether to kill us off because of wars, like the
Dickheads that they are.
That's who we're talking about here.
Yeah, right, right, right.
We will come back to that.
I'm glad you made that distinction.
We will come back to that because there's a have your cake and eat it to a moment in
the next one.
So yeah, and at a certain point here, he realizes that this is supposed
to be making us happy. And he just told us that, you know, the people who control our existence
decided war was okay if they got an occasional poem. And then, and then, and then, as a melancholy
doing, yeah, right? Now that you know about that poem. And, but now he goes like, and also
by the way, this still counts, even if you're bereft of
artistic talent, you don't have to be able to make poems.
It's just a matter.
You can might inspire someone to make a poem.
Yeah, you don't have to have a lot of artistic talent.
You could just put together YouTube and a little bit of random Google.
That's why that's still valid.
It's still.
Even if they still have the fucking water mark on them. Yeah, you can still.
Yeah, even if the image is flashed by so quickly that you feel you'll be able to take
it.
This is full on clock.
Yeah, at this point, we're just watching a music video about ADHD that it's just completely
unrelated stuff blasting up into its nonsense.
Like Mark Sargent trying to improvise a song just yelling out words.
It's so dumb.
And then we get, oh God, this is where we get the truncated Einstein quote that misses
the point.
Boy, in that this movie in a nutshell, the imagination is more important than knowledge
bit.
Yeah, yeah, says the guy who spent 10 minutes talking about a made up conversation that had been had by made up creators and they
were having about these made up towers and the made up. Yeah. Imaginations more important.
See? See? I just didn't agree. Yeah. No, there's more to that quote, man. And by the way,
right after that, as he's talking about the importance of imagination and artistry, he shows
a picture of sexy women drinking blood
from the slit throats of men hanging upside down over plates. I just thought we should
at least acknowledge that. It wasn't related to anything.
Wow. I missed that somehow. Don't know. I missed. I must have been watching like a bunch
of black shirt players play basketball or something. I don't know.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
All right.
But yeah.
So now again, he gets shift back to the melancholy and he goes like mountains were built for
you.
Oceans were built for you.
And I'm like, that's why the secular narrative has such an uphill battle.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But then he says, and someday you'll die.
And that's going to be awesome.
I'm like, okay, no, that's the reason the secular narrative
Is not real battle
Always the upsell at the end and he's really starting to show his is handy because he says right near the very end
He says the world is a hell of a ride imagine what the next
I see we go with this mark. We are doing Christian
this mock. We all do in Christian. Yeah.
It's doesn't it starving kid in Africa gets to the next world. He's also a starving kid
in Africa. What?
Okay. I got to admit, the third one, two strikes is all I'm saying. All right. So now we move
on to part nine, which is titled The Magic Show. And I'm sure Eli
was stoked about his profession, getting a mention here. There is nothing more discouraging
than something you've spent 11 years on being the first thing a flatter thing. So let me
tell you. All right. So he starts this one off by saying, Hey, you know, this is an idea
that popped at all that extensive airplanes don't fly directly from Keith Man shoot in the mid in the
maybe it a Humpey Bong Australia research. I was telling you about a couple of videos
earlier. And yes, by the way, Humpey Bong is a real place. That's an actual Australian
place. Yeah. But anyway, don't let you Don't go there. He's wasting a weekend.
I'll tell you right now.
Also, this is where we learn the first rule of magic.
This is a quote, the first rule of magic assume the rule isn't being broken, only hidden.
And I can confirm that is not the first rule of magic or English.
Nope.
It's not Eli. Is there a first rule of magic or English. Nope. It's not Eli. Is there a first rule of magic?
Absolutely.
What's the first rule of magic?
Never talk about flight club.
Okay.
So damn it.
So yeah.
So the okay.
But basically this video is him acknowledging the bunch of people wrote into him and said like,
Hey, man, you can fly straight from Johannesburg to Perth,
right?
Like we were talking about last week.
He's going like, all right, all right, smart guys.
But, but are they real flights though?
Yeah, he, he, he says it like he isn't acknowledging that he, he, he, he, like he fucked up previously
because he, basically says this video, it's, it's him researching.
I did a bunch
more research. Yeah, but he did research about the claims that you made in video seven. You should
have done that. Yeah. That is the time to research. Since video seven, I learned that 95% is like,
like 19 20th. People wrote in to explain that to me. I understand that now. I understand
that now. But they're fake flights. Those are fake. You're the five. Yeah, there's only
45%. It's it's it's minor. It's 5% of all sudden flights. It's just 5% approve him wrong.
You know, those are ones that are that are the problem here, but 5% there's like 37
a half million flights per year. There's 10 million. Let's say there's 10 million
or so in the south. If that's true, five percent of that is half a million flights that would have
to be fake. Yeah.
But he'd be right here. 1400 flights per day. You'd have to be happening. Yeah. And he goes,
you know, he's like, I saw this, but this is a violation of the third rule of flat earth.
The flat earth has no shortcuts. And right there, I brought my notes like, please tell me
the first two rules so that we don't talk about flat earth, spoiler they are.
And what is he saying there?
He's saying that only a globe has shortcuts.
I think he might have actually said that sentence.
Yeah.
And like, what the fuck does that, like, does a cube have shortcuts?
What shapes are the ones that he thinks violated space time and which don't?
So now I do actually get this, I do get this because he, because a cube has shortcuts.
If you look at the net of a cube compared to a cube and you try and go from a corner
in the top left of the net to the bottom right of the net, on a cube, you just go right
around the corner because it is a cube and not of two dimensional shapes.
So he's on about, you can't just like zip over the South Pole kind of area. You have to do the long way around if the Southern Hemisphere
is spread around the edge. So, but it's the idea that he's kind of said, well, this is
the map here. There are no shortcuts. Oh shit, this is this doesn't work at all. They must
be cheating. Now let's find out how they must be faking it because otherwise I'm completely
wrong in that combat room. But yeah, that's what he means by the show cuts is the zipping on the shortest, no, sorry, longest
distance between going around the equator over and over and over and over.
So you spiral in and then you spiral out and then you land in Australia.
It's pretty easy.
So all right, so but to disprove all of this, There are two direct flights in the Southern hemisphere bullshit.
He goes to plainfinder.net.
For a second, I was so sure he was going to get on a plane and just, we were going to
see Mark Sargent just ranting in the aisle to people like, look at us. Are we going to
it? Why is this the Southern hemisphere? How did we disappear? Why aren't we on GPS?
Oh, we don't get any of that.
But it was even, but his bokeh, but his,
his research was even sillier, right?
Cause he's like, oh, but where are those fake flights?
And I'm like, yeah, I guess you'd have to like
book one of those flights and you can find out.
And he's like, nope, nope, I better than that.
I, I went to plainfinder.net one of these websites
where you can track all commercial flights
and watched it for days.
I stared at my computer screen at little plain icons for days because of all the sanity
you see.
And this is a really, really minor point, but he illustrates all of this points with the
still continuing flashing Google images. And this would have been a perfect time to just show us a screen capture of you
of that, you know, a time lapse of you on that website. So we can actually see the evidence
in front of us. But no, no, here's a picture of a plane. Here's a picture of a plane near
some water. Here's a couple of satanic witches drinking the blood of someone for no reason.
Yeah. And this is so easy to show us the evidence, Hey, Maul, can you still do it?
Come on.
So the argument he's making use is that when you watch those websites, planes that are
over the Indian ocean or the Southern Pacific just disappear and then reappear once they're
trackable by ground-based radar against.
I'm assuming I actually don't know why this
but I'm assuming that's it. There's some ground-based system that's tracking them. So it basically
is exactly that. So he's right that all he keeps talking about GPS and he's absolutely right
that at all times. Plans are in contact with the when you know they got their GPS signal,
they know where they are, but the GPS is beaming the signal from the satellite down to you. You're not beaming it back up to the satellite and then that being passed
on to the planfinder.net. How air traffic control monitors this stuff is the planes tell air
traffic control where they are with the kind of, we either via radar or via kind of radio
signal. So when the planes at all time have their GPS signal, they're just not telling
anyone when there's no one around them to tell. And that's why we're in the middle of nowhere. There's no one to send that information
to conveniently. It's really easy if you just Google this. It's not even hard.
And he kept saying that he was like, I'm watching a plane going from Brazil to Africa. I'm going
to see this happen. And he's on one of these sites. And then he's like, no, nothing. I watched for weeks, but then the
website proved me right while I was up getting a drink. I was fucking my girlfriend in Canada
and when I came back, when I came back, I literally turned on one of these fucking tracker sites
just to be like, all right, what is
he thought is this real? I went to like, you know, airplanes along a sphere.net and there
were planes in the South Pacific and Indian oceans each time I click on it.
Yes. Well, yeah, he eventually admits that too. And he goes, right, right. But those are
just estimates. Oh, yes.
They're all.
Yes.
Damn it.
How big does he think airplanes are?
I have one other question just about his general theory.
If the flat earth is, Marsh, what'd you say?
It's accelerating upwards at 20, 20, 20,
20 seconds squared.
Well, yeah, it could be, yeah, depending on your, your position around the end.
Would it just smash into the airplane right after it takes off and starts losing its upward
push from the British test?
Elevator time?
I don't know how they deal with that because it's either, either go for the upward acceleration
or they go for the density to model, but either one of those the plane wouldn't be able to take off.
I don't know how they deal with upward thrust, like with a plane sort of a cruising
altitude.
I have no idea.
I'll have to figure that one out.
I've never heard any of them.
Oh, we just got for a second.
No, we got a good note.
It just felt it felt it.
I got it in my stomach.
I thought we didn't know.
We're still down.
We're running into the flat earth version of MIDI Chlorians.
It's like, okay, wait, we're using dense.
So the plane must take off at 25 times the speed of light.
And so when you all planes going to the past,
oh, that's why it feels like it takes so long to take off y'all the time dilation.
That's why pilots can't land. Yeah, right.
There you go. All right. So then he's like, you know, now you might think it's that the
government just doesn't care where you are. Well, when you're over the South Pacific
or whatever, but he's like, but do you really think the American government would let you
just travel around the world, Willie Nilly without keeping track of you. Of course not. It's once again, it's one of these. Obviously, we can all agree the moon landing
was faked kind of things. It's, yeah, it's, it's incredible. I also, the thing we're dealing
with here really is he's looking at a map and because the plane goes off the map and he
can't see it anymore, he thinks the plane stops exist. I can't get rid of him with object. That's what we're he's the child who's
confused.
I can't see.
Some toddler gets on YouTube makes an 18 part series.
My dad vanishes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then he's just like, you know, okay, so then they have to hide all the
planes. And of course, if you hide one plane, you have to hide all of them except for the
ones in the northern hemisphere and or overland. Do you have to hide some other other ones
so that this all makes sense? But you get it so that I don't make this movie. Yeah.
Right. Yeah.
What's this Spartacus airline here that I'm finding on these?
What?
Why do all the ocean flights have Thomas Crown hats in the graph?
And wouldn't all the pilots have to be let in on this scam at some point?
Like, what's that meeting like?
Okay, everyone. Welcome to flight school. What's that meeting like?
Okay, everyone, welcome to Flight School. What I'm about to tell you future pilots
is perhaps history's greatest secret.
The Earth is flat.
That's right, it's flat.
And I know it's shocking, it's shocking.
But as a result, you will all be part of a worldwide conspiracy,
the entirety of your careers.
Fake flight maps, fake GPS locations,
everything. And of course, none of you must ever tell anyone now, any questions.
Yeah, I have a question. Why do we wear like these like admiral stripes? We're not in the military just seems weird. Yeah. Oh, you know, also how come how come we all go
Like that when we get on the inner calm. What is that all about? Oh, is there one button that turns on the seatbelt light and
And do we turn it on or just someone else actually do that because they say it's us
Yeah
Every time.
Why are we so bad at landing, is my last one?
Oh, that's a good one.
Yeah, I want to know that too.
Why can't we land our planes?
We should be able to land them.
Like 100% of the time.
That seems like one of the most important two things.
Maybe the top.
Okay, but you do suck at landing.
Sometimes some of them are pretty good at it.
It seems like I feel like I feel like they're better than we would be.
Now, they won't let me fly the plane.
I keep arresting me.
Cowards.
And the thing, the thing to bear in mind is this whole video is called The Magic Show.
And what he's describing here, if it were a magic trick,
it's basically the equivalent of, okay, now if you just close your eyes for a second.
Yeah, right. You turn around and I'll put my hands under this table. Right.
The famous 11 hour magic trick. You'll navigate to magic trick watcher.org.
to magic trick watcher dot org.
You'll find that your card is estimated to be the nine of diamonds.
Was your card elephant penis? Is that what you're touching right now?
So okay.
And then I just love this little line he throws into the end.
He's like, now some of you will see this video and say, well, damn it, Mark,
now you've told them what they need to fix because because some of you will see this video and say well damn it Mark now you've told them what they need to fix because
Because some of you are fucking idiots you kind of would have to be
Like fix it by rolling the earth into a
The key
All right, but then we get to the good stuff. The bit we've been waiting for part 10 hiding
God. There it is. There it is. This video, we got here.
This video starts with man, that was a lot of bullshit.
It really does. If you've made it this far through the guide, because I'm going to get people haven't made it this far through the guide.
You're still watching.
Wow, just right.
Wow.
You're probably on our team now or on the fence, he says.
Yeah, he says, if you've made it through the first nine videos, you're either buying into
the model or you're on the fence.
And first of all, no, absolutely not.
Some of us are just professional massacres.
But he shows the fence and I just really like, I wanted to be there in person next to
him and just like touch his screen and like do a little photo editing and just like curl
the fence into a circle.
She's just like, just go through a second.
Imagine a rat in there.
Imagine.
Mine's blown.
There it is. There it is.
There it is.
And then he lists two really easily provable ways that he could be wrong.
He's just like, I mean, I guess if you had a private plane, it would be super easy to
prove how wrong I am.
But still don't fly to the edge of the right.
I don't though.
I don't fly to the edge of the right. I don't though. I don't. He says nobody owns this rocket.
Nobody owns this icebreaker ship that I'm showing you on the screen. I feel like somebody
owns that icebreakers. Yeah. Wait, I got I got a rewind of this sentence. This was my favorite
sentence in all 14 videos.
He says at one point, he goes, if you're still with me, you'll agree that the world you've
been taught has been kept from you.
Those were the words.
I mean, I don't agree with you about anything, but it would be physically impossible for
me to agree with you about that. Okay. And I mean, the whole section here is that he thinks
there's an anti-God conspiracy, right? Yeah. Like, yeah, based on how religion never really took
off on this. That like, big globe is winning against God at a game. The omnipotent God is losing
at a game to the atheists. That's his theory.
But this is where he's totally lost track of what he was previously saying, or really, because
his point is the existence of God is being kept hidden from us by the people who built the
dome, which previously he was alluding to as being God. So who are the ones who built the dome?
If not God, and what the hell is the point of God if he didn't build the dome? If he's not the response, one response from building the world and putting his
on here, that's the dome builders. What the fuck is God? Well, you know, that's the thing.
That's what got me out of the conspiracy theory world view to begin with was that was the
moment when I realized that you can wait forever. They're not going to connect those dots.
It's just about putting dots out there, right? Oh, God and the secret Jews show up to earth on the same day with equal domes.
You were going to put it to, we were going to put it on.
I feel like I mean, do you want to use yours?
Does yours have a moon? Yeah, ours has a moon.
You got it here. What do you call it?
Philiment, get the fuck out of here. What do you call it? Philimid, get the fuck out of here.
No way.
Well, you've got a moon. Oh, I mean, I was just going to add the moon.
I was just going to do it.
I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,
I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,
I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,
I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,
I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,
I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,
I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,
I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,
I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,
I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, mean, I mean, I mean, can do, right? And I wrote my nose right here. I said, I bet observa lunar eclipse doesn't make the list.
But before before he gets to that, he goes, just whatever you do, don't start conversations
with the word flat earth because that's not a word.
It's too.
Also sentences in English don't generally start with the subject.
I like, what would you, what sentence, a flatt of is a thing that
I believe? How is that sense?
He's a good, a good start.
I can say it's not a good job. Now that I have your attention, flatt of flatt of flatt of
flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of
flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of
flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of
flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of
flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of flatt of Yeah. He also says he does bring up the fight club thing. He inevitably brings up the fight club thing. First rule of flat club is do not talk about that. Yeah. A flat club
says a guy who's now 90 minutes into his whole team. He's on flat club. You are breaking
your own rules here very clearly.
Oh, I like the thing. The entire of his video structure has been to just show you random
images. He missed an opportunity to splice a single friend of porn. I really need a big black dick right there, Mark.
Go back, we have it.
But when he said that, he's like the first rules, you know, talk about this.
I'm like, well, shouldn't you have to shut the fuck up and let us watch puppies fall
on a sleeper or something?
Come on.
If Mark has to agree that he can't talk about flat earth, I'm on board with the flat earth at this point.
If it means Mark stops talking about it's like, yeah, yeah, you're right.
Flat club, it exists, but Mark, you got to stop talking.
So please never say another thing or publish another video, right?
Point.
No, I got this.
We're making a movie about the heightfully challenged earth.
I mean, it's fine.
He goes like, he's like, don't watch my videos. Other
videos are out there. We're some great arguments. I'm like, could you borrow a few of them?
Maybe. You should have. Anyway, so now he moves on to his three important questions for us to
ask those silly round earthers. Each is preceded by a statement. Statement one, it's just gonna get sillier from here.
Statement one, you are being hidden.
When you fly over the Southern hemisphere,
when you're flying from Johannesburg to Perth
as we are often want to do,
you're not being tracked by the GPS tracking system
he thinks exists.
Also, right now I'm being hidden.
I'm not tracked now.
Well, so you think anyway.
Yeah, but his advice here is literally to send a letter to your congressman or your
MP, whoever, and ask them why they don't track their citizens over the treacherous southern oceans.
Yeah, but make sure you don't Google it on the way. That's going to be in the letter.
Is like, could you tell me without Google?
I emphasize that enough. This is a closed book exam.
He's like, but don't mention flat earth so they'll have no fucking clue what you're
getting at. But this is where he starts like really showing a, uh, necessarily punished
a cyber certainly deceptive side because he's literally saying this is how you get the
fat earth information out there by deceiving people into asking the certain kind of questions.
So for him to be the truth teller who's breaking apart the conspiracies
and blowing up all the secrets, he's literally saying lie to people to get into question
this here. Yeah, right. No, it's like the pro organic food guys out there going like, you
know, food companies are ripping you off and selling you bullshit. Like, yeah, they are,
mints. They've roped you into their thing too. And he goes, I love to, at the
end of this advice, he's like, will anything useful come from this? Not a chance. We're
just keeping your congressman from doing other shit as all. All right. So now we get to
his second statement, which is wealth is being hidden. There's high know that sweet, sweet, an Arctic coal money. I love that
his, his second tactic is like try to appeal to Haliburton's bloodlust for oil.
And and doesn't he say ask all your friends who work in just oil at all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Like the guy who runs the counter up there at the, at the BP. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like the guy who runs the counter up there at
the B.P. Yeah. Go ask that. Exactly. You just picture Mark Sargent bothering the guy
who pumps the gas. Hey, how come you're not headed to the South Pole right now? Well,
I watched this and I was kind of surprised by this bit because I, funnily enough, I've
worked in the oil industry for 12 years.
Various points in my marketing career, I've worked for Shell for 12 years.
So I thought God, I really should not ask everybody I know in the oil industry.
And I'm going to lose my, very much lose all jobs.
Interesting. Marsh, I just wanted to ask you something really quick.
And just to shout out your answers fast, as fast as you hear it, all right.
Ready? I'm going to ask you a few questions in like quick succession.
Okay.
Coker Pepsi.
Coker.
Penis of Regina.
Penis?
I wasn't sure what the question was.
We're writing a secret about the shape of Antarctica.
Yes.
Yo, we got him.
We got him.
It's a massive squad.
Pete, I don't want to bury your flat earth lead here, but we just had our married friend
Marsh confess that he was gay.
Well, I'm on our podcast.
Well, it depends.
I wasn't sure if the question was, do you have a penis or vagina?
Oh, it wasn't like the penis or the China.
So, well, what we, I mean, coming after the coca Pepsi thing, I feel like that should
have been obvious.
The very least it was a Freudian slip.
I might have a coca, I might might have a cold right here in his destiny.
Do you have a cold corpetzy right now?
All right.
So yeah, but Bay Bay Zileese says, well, you know how oil companies are where they smell
money.
We can get them to do the work for us.
But then he moves on to his third statement.
And before he does, he's like, let me, first of of all thank all the people who sent me biblical scripture about this.
My gosh, or words, I'll never say outside of a quote.
He's like, look, I've been dancing around the obvious for too long now.
Yes, it's all the Bible stuff that you guys keep said in me and the firmament and everything.
So we get to run to the third statement, which should be God is being hidden because
it was you are being hidden.
Well, this being in, but he's too fucking stupid to keep with the format that he's been
using.
So the third statement is they are hiding God, which is weird because if he'd gone with
God was being hidden, he wouldn't have to confront the fact that he's now seeing
there is a conspiracy.
Do I go directly?
He could have kept it in like a passive voice. Right. And never have to confront the fact that he's now seeing there is a conspiracy do high God directly. He could have kept it in like a passive voice. Right. And never
have to confront the other. If someone, grander than God, more powerful than God, he's
hiding the truth of God. Yeah. No, and steady just goes on this whole, like, you know, if
they're hiding God and you ask them, they have to tell you kind of a rift.
Yeah. Right. We found the firmament in 1956 with a rocket, I guess. And then the
atheist alumni did the globe scam. That's what he's saying. Yep. And he's saying that God
was like, fuck, I did not see that coming. All right. Next time atheists. Okay, I'll tell
you what, this, this will undo it. Let's blow up the challenger. That way they'll know what he's really.
Yeah, although I, there is one point I agree with him on here.
He's like, look, if you're a person of faith,
this flatter thing should not be a huge jump for you.
And it shouldn't, it really shouldn't.
I love you also appeals to our, I don't know our fucking inner
Thor or whatever. He's like, hey, if you don't want to be a superhero, you don't know our fucking inner Thor or whatever.
He's like, Hey, if you don't want to be a superhero, you don't have to be a superhero.
Look, all he's super heroes, you could be like, if you exposed the flatters, you're
gonna.
Look, I understand not everyone can be a hero like me, but you know, smash that subscribe
button.
I'm pretending this is a documentary.
And okay, but then he closes this on this weird out and this is my best worst.
This is his, well, is part of it.
His weird out and nowhere conclusion is like, and think about it.
If we could just all agree that the world was flat, we would learn to treat each other
better than we treat ourselves.
What?
What?
Yeah, you lost me, Mark. How'd you get there? But take me
there. We're doing spheres and hate, motherfuckers, and hate. Yeah, the very least cubes and
indifferent. But also I love to, at the very end of of this he points out one of the biggest weaknesses
in his own argument he goes like a you know if you think about it the only thing we need
to prove it is any one of the hundreds of thousands if not millions of people that would
have to be in on this scam to come forward and confirm it with evidence. Just one. Yeah. Just one.
Julian Assange found the dome and he got finally. And that there's an amazing bit right at
the very end. So he's always been ending with like his full number, his email address.
That was ridiculous enough. He ends this one with his hall madras and asks you to send
him cookies. And the thing is, that seems deeply unwise.
Now I know the flat earth community and they're a broad bunch, but like there's one chap
in the flat earth community who's very prominent in the fat, for the community, a chap called
Dave Murphy, who not only is a flat earther, but also washes and drinks his own urine.
Oh god.
Oh, you don't want to go.
You're sending you home baked cookies through the polls because you like your work.
Okay, I want to be very clear.
The audience march is not suggesting that you say
you're in soaked cookies to Mark Sargent.
That's not at all the point of that story.
No wings.
I'm trying to drive them off.
Drive them off.
The Palsal subs won't deliver something if it's wet.
That's one of that rules.
It's not the rule in America.
They'll watch you urinate in a box and send it. They're just happy for anyone to be there.
Yeah, right at this point.
All right.
So now it's time to move on to part 11 called Souls in the System, which is all about how
you can change the world and matter on a very deep level if you just believe the Earth
isn't round. And this is where we get
a reference to a movie that I cannot wait to do because I immediately sought it out,
which is called astronauts gone wild. Yes. will know that's not gone. So I assumed this
was a film about astronauts, you know, opening up their spursus because their drum comes
right. Right. And obviously at that point, they immediately just a bunch of aliens right outside the dome with beads. Show us your booby.
Idiots. Yeah, I know. I was I was with you. Eli goes, now if you missed this video, I'm
like, oh, not for long, buddy. And then and that was before I realized this was the movie
from the guy that was punched, right? That's that's that's this guy. Yeah. Yes. I watched
the punching video a good 40 times the other night just because it reminded me
of it.
I love it.
It's such a good question.
That's what happened.
We could punch people out of bad ideas.
What happened to me during the years when Nazis came to that.
You should have made it to that, I guess, but like, I don't know, old man astronaut.
Like I, if you're old man, astronauts man, astronaut, but I do make that exception.
If you're an old man astronaut, though, you can punch anybody you want.
Uh, or an old woman.
Just a man.
Let's just go old.
Yeah, just go old.
I know how many old assholes times.
And look, I'll tell you what, Mars, you live around the old people, the racist assholes
around here.
No, you can't, they can't be trusted with that kind of power.
Yeah, it'll be like a Tommy Robinson rally when the press shows up. March, think ahead.
All right. But so this is, so here's the story of this documentary. Apparently this guy
lied to a bunch of astronauts and told him that this was a legitimate documentary. The
Apollo astronauts, the ones that have been to the moon. Then when they got to the interview, he asked them to swear on the Bible that the moon
landing really happened after which he asked a series of technical questions designed to
trip up the astronauts.
When did you stop beating your moon type stuff apparently?
By the way, spoiler alert, because we are absolutely going to do that documentary
someday.
As someone who watched it, they either one nail his questions to the wall or two are like,
that's not what astronauts do.
You'd have to speak to NASA about that.
That was beat ground control.
And he's like, ground control.
Don't just repeat what I said.
I'm Buzz Aldrin.
I will punch you in the head.
I have an IQ of 43.
I'm there's a reasonable chance that that guy thought, especially Mark Sajit, was think
that ground control with the people in charge of keeping it flat and keep it around
right, right?
Interesting that you can keep your control on the ground, even though you're a space agency,
bullshit.
Right. control on the ground even though you're a space agency bullshit right but of course the real answer that they refuse to swear on the Bible
They didn't the realies that reason they refuse to swear on the Bible is because they know God is real and
When everyone realizes the world is flat they'll
Stop being gay
Stop being gay. I'm confused.
What?
He made a skip.
But so those extras probably saw God up close when they were up by the firmament.
So I get it.
I get it.
You know, like it's like when you get mad at somebody online, it's different.
If you know if they have a face.
Anyway.
Okay.
But this is God in this case.
So like they'd go up there and they'd see God, the astronauts, and then they'd be afraid of lying on the Bible,
but not afraid of participating in the decades of conspiracy.
And to cover up the existence of God, they got up to the dome and God was like, all right,
you made it. Fine. If you're going to start an atheist global conspiracy, that's fine.
Just don't touch the Bible. And it's quite, Mark keeps going back to this Bible thing and he's saying why not lie
and droff people commit purgeery all the time. And God, that didn't use to be the case
in America. Yeah, but I did love the whole bit where Mark surgeons go and God, what's
so hard about lying people? Yeah, yeah, he says that knowing that the earth is flat, it
would stop you lying. And it says the guy who literally 10 minutes ago was telling people to say the
words flat earth when they're converting people to lie about your intentions when you're
proselytizing. I also love to. He's like, you know, he had one point. He's like, but think
about it from the astronauts point of view. If you'd actually seen some of the creators
handy work firsthand, you'd feel the same way. I'm like, didn't he create mountains and
and fucking come, I've seen that.
Yeah.
And he also says, well, you know, they knew a bolt of lightning wasn't going to strike them down,
but still. So like, again, did God mention that?
Like, he took the bed off the table.
He flew back to the dome and God just like sitting there in the dark like,
like the angry mom who stayed up late.
Okay, well, you're finally back.
Last thing I do not have lightning powers, but still don't be a dick.
No, Bibles and you know, my something different than lightning.
Right.
You don't know.
The assumption here is that astronauts would have flown up to the firm and seen the work
of the creator of the universe and been like, yeah, but we promised everybody these little
rocks and this video of us bouncing around a little bit and race wars and art.
I, Dave, can't.
God.
They haven't made Wayne's world too yet.
And I'm a bit of an artist myself.
I've created the universe.
We're doing a thing down there.
But okay, but so here now he's he's really trying to drill home this exam,
this explanation of like, but think about it.
If they saw a new God existed, they would be better people, right?
They would be nice.
The other metaphor, I'm very confused.
Okay, I do.
I do.
You know how when the light turns red, you just fucking go because fuck everybody.
I'm going like, I don't do that.
Mark, give me a different one.
I stop when the lights red.
He starts saying, but then, but when there's a camera
watching you, you stop at the red lights. I am so terrified of people who cannot comprehend
following a law when no one's watching.
So the metaphor is God's like an empty cop car parked on the highway. Yes.
It's a dummy in it. Yeah, exactly.
And I mean, the people who did the dome, why don't they just paint like they've got a
projection of all the stars and things on the dome.
Why don't they just project God onto the door?
That's what I wanted to say.
I went out wagging his finger.
Did he just skip?
No, he didn't skip stuff.
But wait, also like at Harris, I don't want to go too hard on Mark here, but one of the
things that disproves his everyone would be nice theory is this podcast, you know, where
we bully people, record it and then send it out into the world for people to enjoy.
I'm just saying God's present.
Well, I just be like, great, one more download.
Click.
Just start yelling up at the dome patreon.com slash God awful. Well, also like
he literally says these are his exact words. He's like, would you rob a bank or a bezel?
If you knew there was a God, how much recreational bank robbery is your audience doing, man?
Jesus. And he ends this point accidentally by saying like, yeah, imagine how
great it would be if God just revealed himself to exist. And I was like, yes, imagine.
Imagine how great that would be. We just made one whistle. Just do it once. Yeah, no,
his actual line is, if the world, this is an actual quote from the goddamn video
This is my best words there for he's like if the world is a dome not a globe
Then war ends hate crimes end maybe not overnight, but quickly
What oh, I know I know the earth is a dome
But I got like two or three more hate crimes
I know the earth is a dome, but I got like two or three more hate crimes.
Gotta get done. And then a couple more Jews now that it's a tell.
I gotta put a hard limit on any ends.
This video is the world's worst hostage negotiator with the dome hiders.
He's like, okay, authority come.
I'm going to count it three one.
Two, two and a half tell you when you've
been hiding with the universe as a dome come on cut it out seriously please yeah
all right well this was I got to say a hugely disappointing moment for me because up
until now this is a series of videos but I'd been watching one video that compiled all of them together, or at least almost all
of them.
It only went through part 11.
So the entire time I was watching this, I'm just going, all right, 20 more minutes to
go.
Oh, 10 more minutes to go.
This video only took me through part 11.
So at this point, I realized there were still three more goddamn videos to go.
So before we suffer through those, we're going to quick a quick break. It's like you were flying across the South
Pacific for just a second, right? You will need to take a layover right now. No, no, I
do. I absolutely do. First, let me give parts 12 through 14, the hard sell here. Are
the Illuminati hiding God? How omnipotent is a God that can be hidden? Shouldn't we just be able to say,
Allah, Allah, oxen free or something? Find out the answers to these questions and more when we return
for the babbling conclusion of flat earth clues. Neil buzz. Thanks so much for coming in.
Pleasure to be here. Buzz Aldrin. You remember Michael Marshall from our British office?
Oh, of course. Buzz Aldrin. Right. So we just wanted to go over your cover stories. Just in case
anybody interviews you, you know, make sure we're all on the same page about this. Oh, of course.
Buzz Aldrin. Right. For example, when people ask you how the moon was, you say,
When people ask you how the moon was you say the beauty of the bezel of
ultra
imagine it's
yeah, okay, okay, and if you're asked to swear in the Bible, what are you
going to do?
Don't touch it because then the demons will do to me whatever they did to
buzz
was all
dream
I know they did buzz
I know they dead buzz. I know they did.
And we're back for more of this shit. And we'll rejoin the action with video number 12, which is called real eyes.
I'd love to know what kind he thinks we have now.
But but like little discs, they're kind of just
just glad.
But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but eyes, photons are a Ponzi scheme. Again, said the motion picture I'm watching.
Yeah, no, he's like, he's like, can you trust things that you see with your own eyes?
I'm like, I'm watching you.
No, obviously not.
Yeah, I want to be clear.
Is the point of this video that the creators of the dome that might or night not be God
created our eyes to fall for illusions to make it easier to trap us inside a dome.
Perhaps an unlicensed clip of the Truman show would help you.
Can I just say I know this isn't related to flatter at all. I hate when conspiracy theorists use the
Truman shows an example. It's such a wonderful movie that is not about their stupid notion
borderline schizophrenia. And everyone's always like, oh yeah, like it's a secret plot.
And it's like, no, it's about art and how art becomes you and it's hard to be trapped.
It's fine. It's fine.
It's fine.
It's about how the earth is flat, sure.
Yeah.
By the way, Marsh, what's the theory on this part?
Basically, they're showing us Ed Harris and he's up in his like moon station in the movie,
right?
Yeah.
And he's running the sun from the moon station and like projecting it to you so we could
see it.
But what's the theory on heat?
Where is it?
There's a lava machine up there too,
on the moon that shoots heat at us?
Yeah, I'm not sure.
I don't think they really think that fully through.
And do know that Mark Sargent believes
that the sun, that the moon gives off light
that isn't just reflecting the sunlight.
Well, he does think the sun gives off heat
because he said to me when I spoke to him that we know
the moon is its own independent light source, because sunlight is warm, whereas moonlight
is cold.
If you wait, oh, I'm so wet.
No, that's his point.
It's not just cold.
It's not just not hot, but it's actually cold actually cold. Yeah, it's like the faucet twists.
Yeah, yeah, if you put a thermometer in the shadow, when it's moonlight, if you put the
thermometer in the shadow and observe the temperature and then move it from the shaded area
that it's in into an exposed area that that's it's got the moon to it, but
arguably it's full of two other things as well.
The temperature drops and that's nothing to move in a bear.
It's all to do with the moon.
Moon photons are anti photon matter.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They just annihilate temperature degree.
They carry cold with it. Yeah.
The moon's cold.
Right.
Yes.
Well, because the moonlight moves so slowly, you see.
See, and this, this is why be reasonable as my favorite skepticism show.
I mean, yes, we make dick jokes and cod is is funny and skeptics with a K is interesting,
but you're never going to have a straight face that don't tell you that moonlight is cold on any podcast except fucking bee reasonable.
Get on it, people. Leo, the line is just waiting for you.
All right. So, so yeah, so his argument here is, look, if the Truman show is real, my thing could be real. Like, I don't accept the premise, but I still win the argument.
There's a lovely thing he does as well, where he shows you a picture of the ball of earth
and says, you can't see or touch the world like this.
It's like, what, there's a ball from, you can't touch it from the outside, no, because
you'd be far too far away from it, Mark.
I ain't gonna touch it from close up though.
And then he says, he says it up, but he says, but what if I take the image away, and he takes the world away as if to say, like, the image isn't there anymore.
So you come to it.
It's like, you are playing peekaboo with the world now.
And you're literally playing peekaboo.
And then he goes, I now, I don't want to attack my fellow co-host, but he goes full Noah
about the map for a minute.
Oh, that's a little bit, little bit.
I wrote in my notes, C-Noah, you and Mark Sargent, fixing calendars and maps together.
He gives a bunch of examples of optical illusions here too.
Yeah.
And none of them work.
Did he do all of them wrong?
I didn't understand any of it.
I was like, there's answers to each of these.
Like he shows the ballerina spinning.
And he's like, is this on her left foot or her right foot?
And I was like, left foot.
It's on the left foot.
It's very clearly on the left foot.
You can't trick me out of knowing what the left means.
No, okay.
The thing is, is he's misexplaining that.
It's not about what foot she's, it's about which way she spins, right?
It's right.
Yeah, yeah.
That would make more sense.
He's just misexplaining the fight.
And then by the way, that's his first one.
And his second one is, why don't light sources cast shadows that he presents as an optical
illusion.
Right?
Much like a shadow that's not there from a light source.
All spheres are actually played to the dome control by God.
I'm sure the days of our lives.
He starts going like, basically he's going like, but what if my blue is really your I'm just like fucking past the joint dude.
Just shut up.
Yeah.
And the dress is blue.
That's how are we even talking about this still?
You're wrong if you have the color wrong.
It would be blue.
Please.
If everyone says the dress is black and blue, but you see gold and white. Are you wrong just because you're in the minority?
No, your wrong because the dress isn't gold and white.
You're wrong because it's black and fucking blue.
Thank you.
It has a color.
It's also clearly Laurel, the guy who said that confirmed it.
It's not Yanny.
It's Laurel.
It's a blue dress.
Why are we talking about it?
Right.
I didn't understand.
Right.
Yes. Exactly. You can just be wrong.
But in a way, that last example is a perfect summary of flat-earth rhythm, right?
It's like, what if most everyone is right about a thing, but because of a cognitive problem,
you disagree.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm still wrong.
Sorry.
I thought that maybe my experience overruled the truth.
It doesn't.
All right, you're going to want to delete these 12 videos.
All right.
Yeah, how about, so look at a ball.
All right.
Now, look away and look at a piece of paper.
Okay.
Now look at the ball again.
Do you see God sitting on a dome?
Yes.
What?
No.
Okay, so now it's time for them to show us the gorilla video, the basketball
passing gorilla video, but they couldn't get rights to the gorilla video. So they have
a much shittier poor man's version of that video. Yeah, with a black bear, you've got
to watch the white basketballers. You missed a black bear. I mean, if I didn't see the black bear, but only because I don't see color, so that's the reason I. So, so God is a moonwalking bear.
That's basically the message of this section.
Like, this is serious.
This is science.
The world's created by moonwalking bear and atheists are staging a basketball game to
distract.
Oh, God, oh, you know, the world is created by people who want to hide a moonwalking bear from you. And how can you do that? You want to hide a
moonwalking bear from you? How can you just anyone with that goal?
Sick of bullet different ways you could go here. He goes and speaking of optical illusions,
here's the Mercator map. Yeah. But he brings the map up and he shows how like the mechanic maps
wrong and you got this other map, which shows, you know, the sizes of Africa and more accurate
and stuff. I said, yeah, but in your mind, neither of these maps is right. So why are you
convincing us that the second of these maps is better?
Yeah.
I believe all of these maps. Right. He says he actually says the correct perspective is the
goal. Peter's map. And I'm like, no, that's just different distortions.
More of them, in fact, actually just different ones.
But when they put up the golf Peters map, I did stop doing hate crimes for a
while. Okay. So that's good. No, it's comfortable.
Is that because you are more comfortable with that map? You're more comfortable
with a, you are, he says that you're more comfortable with a Macator map. But I love the idea that this
grand illusion is just a comfort thing. Like, yeah, if we ditch the Macator map and go
for the goal, Peter's one, what changes in his mind? That makes us more uncomfortable.
And if nothing, why didn't they just go for the goal, Peter's one? It makes no difference
either way. Yeah. Right. No, he makes a big deal out of this. He's like the authority doesn't think you can handle the gall Peters map in schools, except in the Boston, they
could do it in Boston and probably another couple other cities pretty soon. And he uses
a clip from the West Wing. And I was so mad. And by the way, it's from the episode where the chief of staff makes everybody
in the White House staff deal with crazy idiots all day. And the example of the crazy idiots,
they're actually right in the episode. They're like the people who are like the map makers
for golf puters instead of Mercator. And like they're actually making a real point that
like this. Hey, this map is slightly better. They're both spheres, but this one's better.
He misses that point by so far.
It's amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
I wrote my nose.
I'm like, you, you know that the Gallupeter's projection is also of a round earth.
Don't shoot.
Watch the episode.
God damn it.
Don't watch it.
Don't watch the West Wing.
How dare you stay?
No, West Wing for you, Mark Sarge.
No West Wing for you.
All right. But now, of course, at this point, he has to also convince us that humans have
emotions, right? He's like, but humans have emotions. Don't believe me. I'm like,
fucking course I do. He says, think about movies. Why would you get emotional about a movie
unless you forgot it was a movie and suddenly started thinking it was really
happening. Yeah, yeah. We get emotional watching films not because we're empathetic, but just because
we believe anything that we see, certainly believe it's all real, we are just babies and he really
has got your nose. It's one of the random little images that we get here
during this explanation.
We see Werner von Braun's headstone.
I don't know.
I do know this, I do know this, right?
Oh, do you?
Okay.
This is one of my favorite things.
So, when I spoke to Mark Saj, I covered this in my talk.
When I spoke to him, he said one of the piece of evidence that the world is actually under
a dome is Werner von Braun's graveston because it says, I think it's
Sam's 191. He's on his Graveston. Obviously Werner von Braun bring the Nazi scientist,
father, rocket science, who smuggled out the US in Operation Paperclip and his rocket
technology was what the groundwork that led the America's kind of space program and eventually
led to the moon landing. So he's the father of the moon landing father of a space exploration. Yet on his grave
stone, Psalm 191 or 1910 or whatever it is, reads, the heavens declare the glory of God,
and the firmament showeth his handy work. So why would a cook of a bronze reference the
firmament on a grave stone if's a post-death confessional.
He's admitting it was all fake.
Because the Firmament was the sc heavens declaring the glory of God.
And I was the guy who had the keys to the heaven.
So very much I had to be the access to the glory of God.
But that means it's the firmament.
Yeah.
The rocket site.
I do cut to the basketball with a frisbee. Cuts the basketball with a frisbee.
Cuts the basketball with a frisbee.
Count the basketball passes. Yeah. Yeah. But the moon and the stars and the sun, they
aren't real. And Mark starts and is saying, that's the point of this video. Yeah. He then
gets on this point that if you're in a moving car, you sometimes can't tell
if you're moving or if the cars near you are moving.
And he says, if the motion is smooth enough, humans can't tell that.
And he said, it works for cars, for trains, basically any planners.
Yeah, any vehicles.
That couldn't work for a planet.
That's traveling like a thousand miles an hour.
Could you be moving that smoothly that you don't feel it?
But while he's saying all that as well, when he says if the motion motion is smooth enough, little moment, he throws up
an image for smooth motion. But it's the image of an album cover from a band called Smooth
Motion.
To the title of smooth motion above their heads.
Sorry, I was confusing. Here's a bottle of X-lacks.
Do you understand now?
Yeah. Like, how can you tell if your car's moving to the other Here's a bottle of X-lacks, you understand now. Yeah, like how can
you tell if your car's moving to the other one's a woman is what he's saying? But like,
also that means the spatial dimension of depth collapses when that happens and you become
like Mr. Game and Watch all of a sudden, like, what the fuck that mean?
But this is, it's an insane point. It's a, it's a, so I thought when he was a first
make at this point, he didn't really fully understand the significance. But he's using that point
to, to say, he says at the end of the video, you know, if you can't feel moving, we only
assume that we're moving, so how would we possibly know? And that is the single dumbest,
more self-defeating argument I've heard, because I've heard flat-earthers point out what,
in fact, one of Eric DeBays 200 proofs that the world earth is not a spinning ball is,
you can't feel the motion. And if you were really spinning a thousand miles an hour, you would
be able to feel it. Therefore, we're flat. So Mark is saying, well, we can't feel it. So
you can't assume it. It must just be made up instead.
Well, right, because he's a shill as we learned. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. But then the
video, which was titled real eyes, it closes on the clever linguistic trick real eyes, real eyes, real eyes
doesn't
doesn't really
Fit with anything he's saying, but it's kind of green
Liesie
Bulloth race god damn it god it. Space suits aren't real. So yeah. All right. All right. And again,
keeping in mind, as Mark said, this is, we're getting to the very last shit he's got to eat.
We have two more videos. So he's, this is his, oh, oh, you know what? Another thing. This,
right? At this point, we have built to this. So we get to part 13, the mercifully short, the loss now, I want to say he got a good
microphone before he did this one.
Just in time, just in time.
Yeah, right.
The cookie turnover has been good.
Yeah.
Part 13, we've got a budget.
Let's do this.
Yeah.
So, okay.
So he does that medieval proverb version of the butterfly effect, the for want of a nail,
the horse lost its shoe for one of his shoe, the message wasn't delivered, whatever,
the, but anyways, the butterfly effect thing, right?
And coming out of that, because that's just an artistic flourish at the beginning. You see he proudly proclaims himself a warrior against science
Yes, I am committing a war on science love me
So all right, but this is where he asked the big question
He says like a lot of people ask me what would it take for me to renounce my flat earth belief?
What evidence? I want to go to space He says, like a lot of people ask me, what would it take for me to renounce my flat earth belief?
What evidence?
I want to go to space.
Well, that's his first thing.
He's like, what, fly me to space?
Personally, okay, I probably, that's too much.
Okay.
All right.
And he actually mentions what about a camera attached to a rocket?
Oh, we do that all the fucking time.
Okay.
Yeah.
He wants to call care camera.
He's got a very specific resolution that matters.
And he thinks that will be the nail that ties it all together because not only does not
understand the shape of the world, he doesn't understand the function of nails.
They're so dry. That's he just get a better metaphor.
That's why there were only 14 videos.
It also doesn't really understand how how four K works or what that means, like flat stuff becomes a globe and
a regular H.P. you would need like, I also need a monster brand audio cables to hear the
round.
So yeah, but he finally he settles on. He's like, but I, but there is one thing that would
prove it to me. I'll settle for the astronaut suit. I'm like, but I, but there is one thing that would prove it to me.
I'll settle for the astronaut suit.
I'm like, okay, take me there, Mark.
I love that for like the first half of this video, he calls it the astronaut suit and
then remembers that it's called a space suit.
Space suit, shit.
Right.
He's suing it to space.
No second takes, Mark Sargent. He also calls this space suit objectively probably the most
impressive engineering feat ever.
And look, I love this video. This video appeals to exactly my kind of stupid, because you
know what? I have zero answers for any of the questions he asked in this
video, and I couldn't be bothered to Google.
He gets me.
He's just like, how does spaceuits work?
And I'm like, they don't flatter!
That was a lovely moment.
There's an absolutely lovely moment when he's talking about how complex and wonderful a
space suit has to be.
And he says it's got this, it's got that, he said, it's got oxygen. But when he says it, it's got oxygen, he flashes off the sign for O2.
Yes. That's the logo for O2, the telephone company, the cell phone company.
The cell phone company.
He starts playing air supply.
Oh, no, no, no, no, we got it. You're not doing it.
It's the equivalent of him saying, like, we just need to look over the horizon and he shows the horizon logo.
You're right.
You're right.
But the basic idea is he's like,
why won't NASA send me a fucking astronaut suit?
Like, and why did it block me on Twitter?
That's right.
And why did they tell me please put your clothes back on?
You're in a public lobby.
Why are they being weird?
You're hiding stuff.
Yeah, he goes like, how do they test these suits to make sure they'll work in vacuum
chambers?
They probably use vacuum chambers, but why can I only find multiple references and still
photographs?
No, only this one very short video of that.
Right? Like he keeps like, like he's like,
he's bidding himself down here or something.
Yeah, the video thing is great,
because he's like, where are all the videos of astronauts
in vacuum chambers?
I don't know, Mark, where are all the videos of you
on a date?
Do you have to assume you haven't been on a date?
I don't know if you want a date.
I don't know if you want a date.
And again, he keeps answering his own challenges.
Just don't make a challenge if there's an answer man.
How come there's an okay, there is,
but there's three, three videos, that's dumb.
Four, how come there's no videos
where there's a weasel also, okay, I got this one.
What do you mean he brought his pet weasel?
This is far is hard.
Not a vacuum if there's a camera in there. His lies. If there's a suit in there,
honestly, wouldn't be. Yeah. So what, but based on his inability to find extended videos of
multiple astronauts in vacuum chambers, testing astronauts suits.
He declares it a phantom technology that doesn't exist.
Yeah.
And I think this is a bit where he says the phantom technology out of the likes of Star Trek
and book rogers.
And again, it's a very minor moment.
But when he says Star Trek and book rogers, you'd think, right, he's been doing image searches
all the way through.
You say Star Trek, you say book rogers.
We all know what images he's going to throw up. He throws up Matt Damon
in the Martian and then a picture of James Bond and I come on. It was.
And this is where he makes the argument that they they test them underwater. Awesome.
Right. He's like talking about how space suit like they, you know, they, they test them
in a big pool and, you know, water is trying to get into the suit and it proves it's water
tight. But when you're up in space, air is trying to get out. It's not water trying to get
in. So how do we know the inside of the suit is air tight.
But the air is also trying to get out when you're under what mark are you
where you going, Mark? You can't you can't to hear me. I know because otherwise you wouldn't
be yelling that. Yeah. No. And so this is his challenge. All right. The challenge he has issued
denessa. He needs two spacesuits, one of those 12 million bucks a piece. You've got that less than
that if you get him used two spacesuits and a vacuum chamber and he needs him and some scientists because he's
not going in alone to go in and test an astronaut suit with him.
And if it works in a vacuum chamber, he will stop believing that the earth is flat.
That's all it'll take.
What are they afraid of?
And I'll need a view of a loom creating that fabric that makes it airtight.
It'll need to be like five minutes of that in a full 180 degree panning shot of a loom.
Yeah, I just want to say I think NASA should go for this.
Mark Sarge.
Markie Sarge.
McGuy. What's up? Hello, gentlemen. I'm here to test your so-called
space suit. So-called space suit. This guy. That's plastic. Dude, I can't get enough of your
viewers. My kids to school. He is such a prankster this guy. Are you meeting my challenge or not?
Oh, we are.
So here's your space suit.
Yeah, no, here it goes.
Yeah, the big day.
Um, it appears to be filled with shit.
No, no, I believe you mean vacuum suppressant.
This, yeah. this isn't shit
No, no, it is not that is
Sciencey stuff sciencey stuff here to prove that spacesuits are real for you
So that's just part of the sciencey thing we're doing because it looks and smells like you like human
Facies, so I just look mark. What do you do you think happened here? I mean, you think that three professional NASA scientists tired of the constant harassment and widespread
ignorance spread by your collection of stock photos that you couldn't be bothered to buy stole a
space suit ate nothing but taco co for a month and then filled it with human feces. It's just a
mess with you. What?
Cause that's not what I'm not at all. Uh, no, no, no.
Okay, then.
$100 pay.
Oh, Jesus.
No, no, with me telling it with me telling them that's 200.
God damn it.
Yeah.
Okay.
You guys when you win, I cannot believe that work.
Do I go to space now?
Nobody. No, you don't. You and I cannot believe that work. Do I go to space now? Nobody
Now you don't
You're not here any of the stuff we just
Exactly you're missing an opportunity nerds. You're missing out. What are you taking a picture of a sky doughnut
getting that poor girl harassed? You could be making him swim and poop. All right. Okay.
Like I said, there are only 12 million bucks. Patreon.com slash God awful guys. And by the way,
he puts this out at the end. He's like, I'd even sign release form There's a little bit at the end of it as well where he's saying, you
know, if I'm right, NASA will refuse my test. And I say, yeah, but I think Theresa Mayer
is a robot brought back to life by the Ghost of Margaret Thatcher. And if I'm right, you
know, she won't even acknowledge my challenge to go submerge herself in the terms to prove
me wrong. So if I'm right, she won't even manage it. And then he actually says he's like, and if I'm wrong, basketball, dancing
band, walking there, we're walking there. All right. So now at long last, we reach video number 14. This is what it's all been building towards guys.
You've got the shit from the algorithm.
The conclusion getting dressed is complicated.
Is it?
He starts off on a Shakespeare quote in case the magic references didn't piss Eli off.
I just got a picture of my wife ugly.
What come on?
Now I got a kill mark.
And also I'm sorry it's the most banal of Shakespeare quotes.
It might as well have been has anybody seen my fluffy pantaloons.
Shakespeare right.
It was the close make of the man.
Yes, for most of us getting dressed as just an act of not
being naked, but for some people it's about making them seem credible. I don't know, Mark.
I feel like not running around naked helps me seem credible. I have never felt more
seen as someone who wears Velcro sneakers and penguin pants for 99% of their life. I
feel like I've just debunked this entire video by existing.
I like when Eli wears just the shirt and the and the sneakers with no pants. Yeah,
it was like the Donald Duck Donald Duck set. Yeah, live shows. You mean live shows.
I've been told it's a private party at the door to homeless shelters. I'm just saying what
shelters. I'm just saying. All right, but okay, now just to give you a one more great example of what an idiot we're dealing with here. He starts listing, you know, different
uniforms, different professions that have uniforms that we feel certain ways about. He's
like, you know, think about all of the different people that you see in uniforms, police officers, office, there's firefighters, school teachers. What? What? What? What? What was it?
Mark III. A school teacher outfit is. So Native Americans, construction work, you don't
know the village people like that man. Sorry. Sorry. This pornographic school teacher. Yeah. Right.
The rest of my point nailed it.
Not be more clear from pulling that teacher.
Haha.
So yeah, he goes, you know, think about it.
When you see a cop uniform, you think protection.
I'm like, man, are you white?
Oh, shit.
How would I think?
So then he goes on to say he goes goes and I'm sure we all loved this formulation
of a sentence.
He goes, but one uniform is unique.
There's a lovely thing.
He says the lab coat, it's unique and to illustrate that he use a picture of what is
quite clearly just a white coat and not a lab coat because it's got a big battle. Yeah. Yes. Yes.
No idea.
The difference between a white blazer and a lamp coat, it's so clean.
Not unique because you picked one that you thought was this him, but not.
Yes.
You went to bonobos to get us.
What?
What are you doing?
Mark Sargent wanted to rock my world and he did because this movie taught me that Mark
Sargent literally does not know what a lab coat is.
No, he goes, he goes, I think about it.
The lab coat is pointless.
It doesn't protect you from fire or bullets or nothing.
Yeah, lab coats serve no purpose.
Yeah, they, they do though.
They do.
They do.
They keep all the shit off.
I just burned myself on acid. Ow. He's like, you get more of an underwear, it'd be way better.
I need buckets.
But the point is though is that he says that people will think you're smarter if you wear
a lab coat.
And I'm like, why don't you go get a lab coat, bro, because that would help.
Well, the thing is he says it like he's the fullest person to have ever. If you were a lab coat and I'm like, why don't you go get a lab coat, bro, because that would help.
Well, the thing is he says it like he's the first person to do it.
But he did like this is a really profound revelation that he's come across and he spends
some time living out like he's the first person to have a thought of this.
And I'm certain he was wearing a lab coat when he thought of this just to be doing his
own.
I think of which I'm Mark Sargent.
This is my lab coat and graduation cap and Hogwarts robe and astronaut
suit.
Come on.
Oh, we got glasses.
I want to see him now, like, given a speech in an astronaut suit with a lab coat on.
And by the way, if you're wondering what you should think when you see someone in a lab
coat, you should think that person just touched P blood or poop.
That's what it is. That's all 100% of what that means. And also, by
the way, fuck Bill Nye. We are now in the fuck Bill Nye portion of the program. That's
what he's like, you know, you people you see him in lab coats and you think they're smart
like, look at his asshole over here. And he shows us Bill Nye the rallying cry, the finale of the flat out woods is fuck Bill.
And this is just confusing to me slightly because Bill Nye is not that well known here
in the UK.
He's in skeptic circles now because he's been around skeptic circles a little bit.
But like, if you asked a person on the street who Bill Nyers, they would not have a clue who he
is. So seeing this as like the denim on, I thought I was missing something. I thought
there must be a, I've skipped a video or there's, I've accidentally switched into like a parody
of Mark Sagen or something. I'm comfortable with the final point.
Nope. It is. He goes, he's like, at Bill and I earned a bachelor degree in electrical engineering,
not a science, then immediately ditched it to become an actor. And I'm like, well, no,
now he's an actor with a bachelor's degree in electrical engineering. He didn't have to give it back
or anything. Also, by the way, he worked as an electrical engineer for Boeing for almost a decade
before he started the science guy's stick. So you're also just wrong, but even if you weren't wrong, it would be meaningless.
Also, and look, we come across this quite a bit in the movies we review.
Mark Sergeant, do you have any science credentials?
Right.
Right.
He's like, you know, he's not a licensed educator or scientist of any kind.
I'm like, yeah, Mr. Rogers lived in a totally different neighborhood than me, dude. Sesame Street is a bullshit place. Give me a fucking
great break. He's I'm also all the science people agree with Bill Nye about science.
Well, yeah, there you go. Yeah, but apparently it is impossible for Mark to imagine Bill
Nye being successful. If it wasn't for the lab coat, dude, it was the bow tie. It wasn't the lab. It was clearly it was the fucking bow tie, not
the lab coat. I mean, I saw Kanye West in a lab coat. So the earth is round. So, but
yeah, but there's this great bit here where he's like trying to be like that, you know,
John, every man or whatever here. And he's that, you know, John every man or whatever here.
And he's like, you know, they like to try to tell us what to think.
And for they, he shows up, uh, shows a picture of a bunch of scientists in lab goes and
he's like, uh, they don't, they think they think better than the rest of us.
And for the rest of us, he shows a picture of Doc Dynasty.
Yes.
Yes, that's his vision of his listeners.
And then he says, they are above approach.
We are below them and he shows a picture of kid rock.
He does.
And if you're identifying with kid rock, you've lost whatever more.
If unless you're kid rock, in which case you've also lost.
Well, yeah, right, right.
Yeah, but he says everyone who puts on a lab coat becomes more credible.
And I'm like, okay, let's step into Mr. Wizard's laboratory, also not a scientist and put
on a lab coat and see what we find out.
So he gets this buddy of his who's a flat or a third to put on a lab coat.
Well, just before the, the, the, the guy just does a lovely moment.
I actually loved.
He said people who put on a lab coat, they seem immediately smart to regard as a who they
are. And he says, man, woman, black, white, umpa, umpa,
umpa, umpa, umpa, like the umpa, umpa, umpa, so huge, respected fact intellect and
that film where they were all slaves. Yeah, right. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
you accidentally just proves it again. You just playing tickle fight with an oompa loompa. One of them walks out all stern and a lab coat stop it.
This is serious.
So yeah, but then he to bolster his point about how lab coats make you look credible.
They throw a lab coat on one of his flat earther buddies.
This guy is literally also wearing a stained baseball cap.
Yep.
Right. literally also wearing a stained baseball cap. Yep. Right, he hasn't shaved or brushed his hair since the Carter administration.
The guy could not look less credible.
Putting the lab coat on and made him look like he just escaped from an asylum.
Right, and that was his get out costume.
He lied about what size lab coat he needed.
He was like, yeah, I'll be fine with a large.
And they were like, are you sure?
Sorry, you said a word before large, but I didn't quite hear a large lab coat.
You sure you won't look like you're a mouse. You won't look like a mouse that someone
dressed up for an Instagram. Okay.
Okay.
We're buying a large then. He goes, he goes, you know, they'll let any old buddy buy a lab coat
It's funny how that's true. You can't pretend to be a fireman or a cop. I'm like dude
You can pretend to be a fireman my my wife makes me do that all the fucking time
I was gonna say it might not be legal, but you can do it trust me
I pull people over all the time just like whoo, do you know how fast you were
going? Meaning. That's it. Get out of here. But he's a fucking cold. The white
cold. It's lovely because he says, you know, he, here he is wearing a coat. And yet, here
he is at a flat earth meeting. And all the flat earth is around him a listening to him.
Even I was listening to him. Was it because of the court? No, Mark. He was surrounded by others.
Yes, because he was his turn to talk. It's because he promised to listen. Well, you talk,
dumbass. And the other thing that I got about this as well, he's saying about the people
and he's making the whole point that is people in lab courts, people in white courts.
Those are the ones who are saying the world is flat. And we listened to them because they're wearing lab coats and therefore they have a
respectability. But again, his argument self-defeat all the way along earlier, he said the reason
we believe the world is flat is because we're taught at school. And he's already pointed
out that teachers don't wear lab coats. They've got their own uniform of dressing like a poem style. So he's all given to the collapsing in the cells. Yeah, maybe that's why the video ends here. Maybe this wasn't his grand point.
Maybe he just realized he's like, I'm undoing it. I'm on weight. I'm on weave in an
as I go.
All right. The final scene he's dressed in a sexy lab coat. Yes, but but his closing point here basically is no one ever proved the world was round.
It's just that they told you that so many times you believed it.
So let me tell you again, the earth is fuck.
And that's it.
That was the big closing point.
That's the movie fuck.
Bill Nye could not believe
that the final clue of his 14 clues is essentially the earth is flat because of white chords.
Like this was the most overwhelming ending of anything I've seen since the bit at the
end of Harry Potter, where they're all fat and middle-aged. This is the my end well.
Yep. Fuck lab course was this strong close.
Hey, by the way, did you guys watch any of his follow up videos to this?
Oh, God no, no.
There is a supplement video to all these called, how to cure morning wood, flat earth
men's health tip. I'm not making that up. That's real.
That's a video he made. How the fuck are you just telling us about that now?
That's seriously a supplement video. And he's like, so you know how there's urine splashed
all over your bathroom right now, because that's what happens to everybody that can't control their penis in direction.
Well, I figured out a solution, drink water to lose the morning wood and in conclusion,
the earth is fat.
That's the video.
It's seriously, it's a six minute video about curing morning wood slash the earth is flat.
It's amazing how much more complicated life is when you're not allowed to masturbate.
Okay.
So a big question, I guess.
After 14 videos plus the preface, plus the intro, anybody convinced?
Did he get any converts here?
I'm in.
I'm pretty sure we shot down that plane on 9 11 over Pennsylvania. He's convinced
me to not come back on this show of a suit. All right. All right. Well, yeah. You guys have
it. All right. Well, then I guess this is going to be my last year's to thank you for coming
on for a while, Mars. Thank you so much for suffering through this two weeks in a row with us.
Can't thank you enough, but I'm going to still try. Thanks so much, man. It's been an absolute pleasure. Try it again. Did you not see segment
15 through 22? There are more clues. I'm not making them right now just to get more
sure. And well, that's going to do it for our review of Flat Earth. That's not going
to do it for the episode. Just yet because we still need to power our way into this again.
So Eli, tell us what's on deck?
Unbreakable live at American atheists since in any Jesus is that already all right? Oh, and me and me and he's get to see this in theaters together. I'm so excited
I haven't watched one of these together in a while
Yeah, we're gonna hang out with a weird mouse in Kentucky and watch that terrible movie all right
Oh, so what will that look forward to? We're gonna bring what episode 191 to a merciful close once again a huge thanks to weird mouse in Kentucky and watch that terrible movie. All right, awesome.
Well, with that to look forward to,
we're gonna bring episode 191 to a merciful clothes.
Once again, a huge thanks to March for hanging out with us
today at a perhaps even huge with thanks to all the
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Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week.
For Heath and right,
Neely, Bob Stingam,
Noel Luzon's promise to Work Hard to earn another chunk next week,
until then. We'll leave you with a breakfast club close.
This movie is actually the secret ending to lost. The island is the bottom.
Oh,
2019 went on to be the year that we saw the first ever umpa lumpa winner of the Nobel Prize for Physics.
Mark Sargent went on to find other reasons to beg people to let him borrow a suit he's allowed to pee in.
They still wouldn't let Eli be a cop, no matter if he wore an outfit and a lab coat.
Thought it would double. Yeah, no make it smarter
That was so hot to do with no shouting
Sorry, I could have muted myself for you guys and just done another end
I'm not about that exit now too.
Now it's me.
No.
The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a thunderstorm LLC copyright 2019.
All rights reserved.