God Awful Movies - 194: Gosnell: The Trial of America's Biggest Serial Killer
Episode Date: May 7, 2019This week, Andrew Torrez from the Opening Arguments podcast joins us for an atheist review of "Gosnell: The Trial of America's Biggest Serial Killer"; the story of a movie 'based on a true story' that... start lying before the title is over. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I love that point too. This is the head DA guy who happens to be an African American guy.
And he's like, you realize you're going to be prosecuting a black guy, right?
Because just so you know, black guys are impossible to convict of crime.
Our court system is constantly just calling them black people.
Please ask me out loud what race I am.
I'm allowed to say this America to see that.
Yeah right right.
I'm allowed to say this America.
Not awful.
Movie. OOVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII good friend Heath and right. Heath, welcome back. Thanks Noah. So, uh, you know, who has lots of pro choice friends?
Dean Kane. Oh, okay. Well, that's good to know. That's good to know.
He's allowed to say the N word. He's certainly allowed to talk in a voice that makes you think
he's about to anyway. He will come very close to that. Yes. It's gross. It's disgusting.
We'll get there. All right. So unfortunately, Eli was unable to join us. He's too busy being denied entry
and dissuade and apparently. So joining us in his stead is my lawful neutral friend, host
to the opening arguments podcast. And person who still hasn't learned the correct order
to state. I'll sit in for Eli and ask what movie are we doing? Andrew Torres. Andrew.
Welcome back, sir.
Yeah.
Thanks. Noah, um, by the way, a apropos of absolutely nothing.
Don't look too closely at my law firm bills this month.
I always do.
I always do.
See, the thing is, is the light doesn't even have to tell me what he did if you fix it.
So I always have to look close.
All right.
So tell us, Heath, what
will we be breaking down today?
We watched Goss Nell, the trial of America's biggest serial killer. It's the story of a
murderer going to jail. And that's it. That's the plot. That's what happened in real life. And then fucking Dean
Cain and some other Christian movie people were like, interesting pro-choice liberal African-American
murderer coincidence movie. Right. Right. And Andrew, how bad was this movie? Well, if you like the show,
Hortars, but you wish it had been produced by Info Wars, you will love this movie.
That is factually untrue based on me. But you nailed the well. You nailed the well. Thank you. Thank you. I love hoarders. I do wish
it was produced by info. All right. So to be super clear up front here, this is a movie
that tries to paint one Kermit, Gosnell, is a horrible, horrible person and murder evil guy
and then uses him to smear his entire profession. Now, as we're going to learn in the movie
and along the way, the condemnation is pretty damn suspect, but even if we accept that premise,
this would basically be like using Jeffrey Dahmer to prove that chefs are evil in general.
Oh, oh, yeah. No, do, do not laugh at that. Like it, it's, that's the argument. Everything that's actually true and terrible about Kermit Goss.
No, and there's a lot, right?
It's true because he was performing illegal abortions
for poor immigrants in a state that,
the Pennsylvania, that, you know,
despite kind of being purple,
like has a ton of Catholics
and has a ton of intentional and just deliberately
obstructive restrictions on women's rights.
And yet somehow the howler monkey contingent has turned that into we ought to restrict abortion
and immigration more.
Oh, it's yeah.
Fucking shameless.
You know who's pro choice Adolf Hitler. Yeah,
also strong unborders. Yeah, yes, pro choice, strong unborders, Adolf Hitler. All right,
fuck. So is anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at?
Yeah, I'm going to go with best worst attempt at a metaphor and turtles will be the metaphor. One of the writers like learn
the word metaphor the day before they started shooting and he was like, oh, dude, check this
out. I learned this thing. Metaphors are fucking sweet. It's sweet. I can't say a thing is
another thing. So I came up with this. Turtles are fetuses. And that's it. That's in the movie.
I think that's how it got there. Was that's it. That's in the movie.
I think that's how it got there.
Was that supposed to be an analogy for something?
An analogy?
I don't think, yeah, I don't think he knows the difference.
I don't know.
I don't, I just been, I've been like sitting there scratching my heads about the fucking
turtles since I watched the movie.
We spend absurd amounts of time dealing with turtles in this movie.
Just, it's, we'll get there.
I won't spoil how they get into this, but there will be a lot of turtles. And it's just a squeeze
in this one line about turtles needing protection, just like a fetus. And that's it. I'm pretty
sure that's the entire. Wow. Okay. Interesting theory. That's better than my theory, which
is the guy thought he was writing a ninja turtles prequel That's so much better. I like turtles
Do you own turtles Andrew? No, no, I just I just like turtles. That's all I was a kid
Whenever we would see a turtle coming across the road me and my little sister we would we would
Steal the turtle and we would paint a ninja belt on it, you
know, with an L or an R depending on what color paint we had, and then send it back out
there. So somewhere in the world is someone who found one of our turtles. And that makes
me happy to this day.
Oh, it's, it's exactly like a lucky penny only, you know, with a given creature. So
exactly.
Check it out.
This is so cool, but rude. Yeah.
So that's all right. So I was going to go with the other cool, but rude. Best worst prank
war. Okay, because Eli clearly chose this because he knew that we were going to be doing
this one without him. And one of us didn't laugh at his joke in the meeting enough for
something. And he's like, I'm going to make motherfuckers watch God knows what I'm gonna do.
It's gonna be my thing.
Ah, I know it's what happened, Eli.
Maybe we can just talk about real things
for like one second in the business meetings.
That's the other way we go about this.
It's fine, go ahead.
I know you're listening.
I'm gonna go with best worst obvious script writing
deficiency.
I actually had to change my best worst because
this is amazing, right? Like the last 15 minutes of this movie are when it goes hardcore
anti-abortion, didactic cramming the message down your throat. So that's the part that's
completely made up. And so like the jarring difference between
the like otherwise mostly reasonable courtroom scenes, you know, when they're reading from
the actual trial, yeah, right, right. And the stuff they had to make up, which is like
on a three day bender, I once watched the worst episode of law and order. It's just amazing.
Oh, it was one inch shy of them, like bringing in letter after letter filled with fetuses.
There's something at the end and stack it. Yeah, it was bad. A series of surprise fetuses,
each more surprise.
I'm gonna go last.
Yeah.
All right. Well, there's a lot of rage waiting on the other side of the skit, so we're going
to keep the break brief when we come back. We'll dive into all the alarmism that is
Goss Nell, the world's biggest serial killer.
Hey, what's doing, Heath?
Oh, I got a website for later cheese and the hosting service had a website builder,
but it was really frustrating. I'm having trouble. Oh, okay. So is that what all these charts and graphs and these pushpins with yarn or all about?
Yeah. Yeah. Sort of. I decided to build a better website builder website, but I'm building it with
their website builder website and it is not going great. Uh-huh. Well, why not try wix.com?
Oh, what's wix.com?
It's the same thing it was in the last ad, dude.
Just, just work, just read the copy.
Okay, wix is the easiest way to build your website.
That's why over 140 million people have used wix to build their website and why Eli builds
a new one every time we have a guest just to embarrass them.
Sorry, can you hand me that slide rule right there? Which one? The green one right there?
The green? Sure, but see with which you won't need multiple slide rules and abacus and
whatever this thing is. Just sextant. Sexant.
Sexant. Gotcha. See, with which you can use one of their 500 stunning templates or you can start
from scratch, change, customize, or add anything you want. It even includes built-in SEO
tools to help your website get noticed. Which way is magnetic north, you know, offhand?
Really shouldn't matter when you're building the website. I feel okay, fine, just how
do I try Wix then? Well, you can get started out by going to wix.com, that's wix.com slash podcast and get
10% off.
That's wix.com slash podcast to try it now and get 10% off.
Cool.
Cool.
Cool.
Do you have any resin by any chance?
What?
Never mind.
Man, I've got to say that the rest of the McDonald's was unsanitary.
From the makers of Gosnell, the trial of America's biggest serial killer.
Heath, is it just me or is this filet of fish undercooked to you?
Dude, who the fuck orders the filet of fish? What are you doing?
Comes the story of an unspeakable crime
Gross the the syrup clearly ran out on the coke machine. This is mostly just carbonated water and
One man's effort to stop it all. Yeah
Part pardon pardon me. Can I can I speak with the manager, please?
Coming this summer
Look, I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job, but if you don't follow specs, someone could get sick
whoa
All restaurants are trying to kill you
First in first out motherfucker first, first in, first out.
Everybody knows that.
Calm down, Keith.
I will not calm down.
And we're back for the breakdown.
We're going to open up with the only lie more pervasive in Christian movies than God
exists.
And that would be, of course, based on a true story.
And as soon as I saw that, I was like, gonna go ahead and guess, nope.
And I was correct. Very next moment, the next little title card was like, okay, most of
this is based on.
Yes.
That's not a cake. It really says most.
Yes, as most of this is based on court transcripts.
And I'm like, what about the flashbacks?
No, that not that they didn't flash back in the courtroom.
What about the cartoon weapons that were allegedly used by your board of the doctor?
No, that was not, don't be a dick.
That was obviously not in the court transfer side most.
All right. So we're going to start off in 2008 and Philadelphia in a creepy hallway.
Yeah. You, you might say that Kermit Gaznell was West Philadelphia born and raised. That's
amazing. I actually went through that whole song in my head at this moment while I was watching
I stopped and I sat by myself. I did the whole right. It was fun. Oh, yeah.
Go to that far better use of your time than watching this. Yeah.
It's a big fan of fresh prints. Yeah. A great show. Obviously. Can we do that instead?
Let's just, yeah. Right. Right.
Episode one through three years. Oh, you remember the very special episode where we'll
got shot and then you want to get a gun. Okay. So we're in a creepy blurry hallway and a nurse
is taking a picture of us. We'll learn later that we're a dead baby at this moment.
Oh, yeah, that was dead baby cam. You're right. Yeah. This is only the first of dead baby cams
with the system. Or maybe actually a live baby slight about to be dead. Well, yeah, we're
dying, dying baby camera.
That's why it's so blurry.
Yeah, it's also very spooky and blurry because it's just a typical evening at a medical hospital
lit by candles.
It's very windy in a nuclear apocalypse.
Yeah, yeah.
Where it's a movie is set.
Yeah.
So then we get to title it says, God's know, the trial of America's biggest serial killer, asterisk. Right. Like because they figured it in birth weight. Maybe I
think the trial of the dude technically kind of tied for America's 91st biggest serial killer
sounds clunky. I'll admit. Yeah. But yeah, in case you were wondering how far they were going to make it into that true story the fucking title is a lie
Three is technically a serial rest like John Wayne D.C. and like Ted Bundy just throwing their earphones down
All right, so the movie opens we've got people jogging and driving and cursing the traffic
or whatever. Basically, okay, so Superman's late for his wedding are all wedding rather
not his wedding.
Right.
Yeah. And again, you have the, and I, and I knew Dean Kane had, had switched over to the
dark side. So I was, I was prepared for him to be in this movie, but I was not prepared for
Superman's
Waddle run
Oh steps into the
Oh, it looked like he forgot to apply the anti-chafing lotion to the
Yeah, the cowboy ass. Yeah, Christopher Reeves would have done better on those. Yeah.
So yeah, Dean Kayne said face rushes upstairs at his tux. I guess he was running to home to get
the necklace his daughter needed for her wedding. Yeah. This wedding is going to be entirely
superfluous, right? Like someone in the cast was getting married
and the director's screen production value,
let's start it at a wedding.
The, and let's go a step further.
Dean Cain's entire family here is entirely superfluous, right?
We will never see them again after this scene.
No, his wife, his daughter, the, yeah, none of this
will ever come back.
Yeah. To the point where I thought that maybe the reason they started it like this is because
they start with the giving away the daughter a bit. And I'm like, well, I think I guess they had
to open with a misogynistic tradition. Maybe it's an abortion movie. Yeah. Deane is walking his daughter down the aisle and we get the
first of instance of his catchphrase, which is the way I see it. Yeah. Got a couple of
choices here. And then a okay, put a pin in that as a catchphrase, but don't be.
It doesn't. It doesn't. It's it right back out. Savvy pen. Yeah.
We don't waste a pen on this.
In like 30 seconds, he's going to be like, the way I see it, you have two options here.
Catch, raise from before.
I just said it earlier, but nailed it.
But at the moment that he says that to his daughter, the camera pans away to his wife.
Yeah.
And now I know why Eli picked this movie. And then I got
to say I'm into it, right? Because his wife is like a week and a half older than the daughter.
Like I'd be they are. They could be twins. Yeah. Right. I had five years apart at most.
Yeah. Oh, they have a porn tab. Absolutely.
Yeah. All right. And then we cut immediately from that to Dean Kane talking
scree. Oh my God. This is what we're a minute in and hate crime. Like it's real fast.
It's real fast. And this is, I mean, he's trying, he's, we're about to find out he's an undercover cop,
trying to like, trying to talk jive on the phone with somebody, but this is just 100%
Dean Kane, how he talks with African American people in real life.
I'm quite certain.
Yeah, no, it's like listening to Eli and Heath talk to a black fan.
Yeah, it was really uncomfortable.
I feel like you added and he's there. I feel
like someone deleted that from my nose. I like the idea that Graham has a black fan. I thought
that was good. Yeah. So he's talking like that. And I wrote in my notes, like really
hope black guy walks past. And then he does. Okay. Well, it's passed the D games like I was in I'm an under I'm an undercover.
They said I could produce his let me do this. They said I could do it. Hello.
We need we need a fleet of robotic black guys to walk past white people constantly just
fucking with us like that. That's what we should be doing with drones.
Yeah. Also, by the way, his name is James Wood, Dean Kane's character. Yeah. When I first heard that, I was like, get the fuck out of here. Every one of these movies
is like, they can't come up with fake names. And they were like, James Wood don't say woods.
I said, wood, but it's the real cop apparently. Yeah. It's James wood.
But they do this several other times. We're going to meet a lawyer named Michael co-hand
my later. So I'm not crazy. They do this. I think he's a real guy too, actually. Oh,
wait, that's there's a real. Oh, okay. I'm pretty sure it is. Yeah. Big Gwen's in
this. All right. Well, there's a nurse Betty. Also. Yeah. No, there is a nurse Betty. I'm sure they made no fault.
Maybe your real name was Betty, but no, actually, I think that is made up. I think that whole
part is made up. So okay. Okay. But point being he's just terrible, terrible, terrible,
trying to sound like he's an African American guy on the phone with, I guess, a drug dealer.
But yeah, what's really happening in real life is that cover is now blown.
There's a drug dealer who just hung up being like, yeah, a white cop was trying really
hard to do a black guy voice just now.
That's, he just said fist bump at the end of the call.
Like, verbally, he said fist bump, we're calling off the sale.
We're not selling drugs to that person.
It's a cop.
Well, what's amazing to me is that they give you a minute before they reveal that, right? Like they let you hear this conversation for a good 45 seconds when you're like,
well, that's wildly racist. Dean can stop it. And then they're like, oh, it's an undercover.
He's setting up a drug. But okay, it's still wildly racist. Still stop it. But I at least
I get that tension of racism. That's not what, what will mean when I say that and then so he goes to the drug by right
See it with it. He just set up to like surreptitiously catch the chick with drugs
He is in a goddamn tuxedo
Right he's standing around in a fucking gas station in the middle of the projects in a tuxedo
Trying to like look at cheese crackers and shit.
So they won't notice him.
And he's talking into his lighter.
Like, this is the normal person.
I just take the patient a bit lighter.
This is normal.
And when you say lighter, this, this thing is like three.
It's like a cigarette lighter from the 1970s out of your car, right?
Like, there's a whole thing. It looked like he was buzzing in for jeopardy or something. It looked it looked like it's smart equipment, right?
Like I was waiting for them to break out the cone of silence later on. That would have been amazing. Are you talking into your shoe, sir?
With the Tuxedo Dean came
Actor and undercover cop who was on the phone with me earlier.
Idiot.
So, yeah, so the girl goes to leave and Dean Kane and his partner about to buster, but
just then a bunch of FBI and DEA agents show up to pounce on their kill.
But like so many at the same time, like 19 government agencies coordinated. They were like, all right,
so we're going to drift into this parking lot at the exact same time. You guys come from
the north to a stop. It needs to be simultaneous. It's like NASA flies in with a rocket for
no reason. Nick Fury shows up at the air traffic. It flies. And it's bad up. And it flies.
And as bad as the cinematography, right?
Because they do.
They all arrive at literally the exact same time, which is, you know, which is great.
As bad as that is like the dialogue is worse.
Like I am positive that everybody, everybody attached to this movie in any kind of script
rating capacity was like, do I know what jurisdiction
is? I've seen the matrix eight times, buddy. Like, don't give me none of that jurist,
my addiction crap.
Uh, Daniela, Daniela. Oh, God. Yeah. So they're in the middle of their Hollywood jurisdiction
fight when the, the girl that they just busted shouts out, I got the
drugs from Dr. Goss. Now you'll recognize his name from the movie title. And everyone
just hushes like a silence falls over all of them. They don't know who this is. There's
no reason for that. Oh, it's like she said Voldemort. There it's like, oh, that's the
guy at the top of every one of our Rico charts in the
entire country. No, it's the fuck. No, it's not. No, it's not. Well, no, but it's a, it's
a fourth wall break, right? Like it gives away the fact that the only people watching this
movie were the people who were prepared to hiss at that moment on the screen, right?
Right. Okay. Yeah. Top of their rego charts that they have at their house.
I'm trying because they're fucking crazy.
Yeah.
All right.
So now it's, it's time to meet a woman.
So she will be feeding her daughter's breakfast, her, her glitter of children breakfast.
Right?
Like, seriously, name a fucking woman.
We've ever met in a Christian movie that was like a major character who we did not meet
while cooking breakfast for her family.
Yeah.
I'll give you forever.
She's never like playing a sport.
She's never like beaten Bobby rigs at tennis or something, you know, unfortunate.
But yeah, she's a mom into Christian movies.
So she's cooking breakfast.
She is a, what she, she works for the DA. She's a prosecutor. She's an, what, she works for the DA.
She's a prosecutor.
She's an ADA, I think we find out soon.
Right, she's the lead ADA.
Okay.
All right, and she has 11 kids,
and Dean Kane is calling her to kind of
clear her in on the plot so far.
And we get, we also get the saddest line
in this entire movie.
And this is a movie about babies getting killed to be clear.
But at one point her living kids are just like, can we please move to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania?
The happiest place on earth.
She was going to transfer from her like, ABA job to like a job with the governor and the, you know, in the capital
I guess whatever. Yeah. Wow. Can we leave somewhere?
I've always wanted to travel I 99. Yeah. That's it. I 99 joke for you Harrisburg residents out there. Hey, yeah. All right. 99. So mom goes to work at the DA's office. And she, when she gets
to the work, they're all watching surveillance footage from Gosnell's clinic. Yeah. And
this is surveillance footage, like, you know, that tab on porn hub is surveillance footage.
Yeah. Right, right. So a made every drug dealer is impossibly stupid in this movie.
The undercover guy, the undercover cop in this video that we're watching, he's going
to the clinic and he's like, hello, Kishana, my drug dealing accomplice.
How are you on this lovely drug dealing day?
Would you like to transact some drugs today?
Drugs is what we sell.
Also, I'm okay. So I'm the drug guy here. I gotta say like, she's showing up at work.
She's a district attorney. So what time does she show up to work or what time does this
guy buy drugs? It just doesn't seem like these are overlapping things, right?
One is a morning activity, the other is not.
Hi, I'm here at 8.30 AM for my prescription of oxy.
Is oxycontin not a morning drug?
I've never done that one.
You're gonna, is that fuck up your body?
Well, it's a morning afternoon and evening drug at a certain point, but yeah, I've got
I've got plenty of Sativa at 8 30 in the morning, but that's different, I guess.
Yeah.
I plead precious little cinnamon buttons.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, all right.
So now, so they bust the nurse that just sold this guy the oxies and they take
her in for questioning.
And she, all right, within 13 seconds of this, she walks up to a whiteboard and starts drawing
a graph of Bosnell's criminal app.
I'm expecting to pull out a laser pointer, ask for the next slide.
And she's supposed to be cooperating about a drug bust and just
added nowhere. She's like, I'm, oh, nothing. He has high school girls performing abortions.
Sorry. We're going to send that back to the drugs thing that is related to me. Sorry.
I think also as a drug related question, I mean, I'm not saying I'm necessarily asking up
in terms of expertise here. The DEA guy keeps using the word smurfs. Is that a, is that a thing that
I just don't know that that thing or I'm not that I'm aware of. I feel like it was one
of those made up ones. Like, remember in like breaking bad, the good, like the squirrels
are the guys who like buy a bunch of suit of fed for you. Yeah. Go to different store.
I think this was like, they were like, remember,
smurf's I guess squirrels and smurfs are similar, right?
I learned about four of the other.
Yeah, three apples tall.
Yeah, exactly.
This isn't a metaphor, nor an analogy.
You just say smurfs, we're saying smurfs.
I really feel like maybe they had a black friend
that was just fucking with them at a certain point.
You know, they come and say,
Hey man, what's the black word for?
He's like, oh man, we call this smurf.
You want to use term smurf and you're, maybe I'm wrong.
You can use it as a verb.
You can use it as a man.
So, yeah.
So the busted nurse, you know, we should point out.
So Dean Cain's there.
Also we've got this DEA guy that looks like shipwrecked Ray comforts
sitting there and he's all like the, he's the guy who's pissed off this local cops get in
the way and the lady's like, oh, and by the way, lady died in the clinic and the DEA
guys like, oh man, now I'm never going to make my reservation, but Dean Cain cares deeply,
right? So, okay. So now we cut to Dean Cain can he's chatting with the corner or just a guy with his
hands and a cadaver had no good excuse for it.
And he's basically asking the corner he's like, hey man, does this sound suspicious to
you?
This lady dies at the abortion clinic and the doctors, nobody's charged with murder and
he's like, no, man, it does not seem weird to me that no one was charged with
murder after a person died during a medical procedure.
You're a doctor, right?
Do people die sometimes?
He's like, yes.
You walk down here for that?
That's a text, maybe.
It's dumb text.
You walk down here.
Well, also, and I love that, like, as he's saying all of this and basically the corner is giving the
no, man, we don't try people for murder when there's like, there's malpractice, a totally different
kind of thing, even even and much of the time it's not that because you know,
people go to doctors when they're dying already. But while he's saying all of this,
they haven't like weighing kidneys and brains and shit so that the anti-abortion folks back home can go, he doesn't care about the sanctity of life.
Look at him.
Yeah.
And he pulls conservatively speaking 68 pounds of stuff out of the courts.
Including that.
And I'm not making this up an entire, what is obvious, somebody who's cooked calves liver
before. It's it's an entire like three pound calves liver that he pulls out.
And like it's it's yeah, it's it's it's a crime against food.
It's not the first.
It is the first, but it's not the last crime against food we get.
We just pull it out ground round.
It's already in the plastic package and shit.
Yeah.
And then the end will weird.
We're.
Wait, it was alive. Yeah. Anvil. We're Wait, it was our life. Shit. So
all right. So Dean Kane heads back over the DA's office. He was talking to the boss. He
doesn't want to treat this like a drug case. He wants to treat this like a murder case.
Damn it. As if that's a new thing. He's like, uh, excuse me, Mr. DA, I would like to start up a
team within our police department that investigates
murder. I learned about this today. We could call is one of those murder squad. I was thinking
that we'll work on the Wilkwood, Wishops and names. Oh, and by the way, the boss here, I had
to look it up because he's, he's the guy that you get when you want Courtney B. Vance from Law
and Order, but you've funded your movie on Indie Go Go. So you get this guy, but you wasted
all your money on Dean. It is the, it is the uncanny valley of Courtney B. Vance. I'm telling
you. All right. So then we, we, we, we have this stupid fucking scene where the mom's having dinner and Dean Kane calls
her, it mad at her about the last scene in case we weren't paying attention to the last
scene, I guess.
Yeah, he's mad and he starts yelling at her.
He's like, why didn't you back me up about that murder?
Was it because of your big abortion agenda?
And she's like, what?
No, are you saying?
I'm anti-murdering still. That's ridiculous.
And I got you no more. You're crazy. Yeah. So, okay. So we're getting ready to bust the abortion
clinic that's selling all of these these illegal axes. And there's a lady there from the Department
of Health, right? They're like, oh, we got to rate it well. The clinics in operation. So we need this lady from the department of health in case there's
any patients there that need our need help. And I don't, I have no idea why they're playing
this at the moment anyway. I had no idea why they were playing this woman as such a ridiculous
bitch.
Yeah, she's a bad guy in this way. She had to be for the ending. It's so. Yeah. Right.
Right. Like Dean Cain's like, Hey, we're having pizza. Would you like some pizza? She's like,
fuck you, fuck you in your pizza. Philadelphia. Yeah, it infern as I saw that pizza on the
screen. That's true. Yeah. It looked terrible. Yeah. Come on. It did. Ratios. Get the fucking
ratios. Right. Look how much bread there is compared to sauce and Jesus Christ.
It's not hard.
All right.
So they head in for the big raid and they raid a haunted house slash abortion clinic.
There are clowns.
There are laughing clowns that pop out and yell at you and shit at this abortion clinic.
Oh, and I love I love the warning that he gave.
He's like, all right, so you're going to be going into this pretty crazy place.
We're not expecting weapons, but remember these are abortionists.
You never know.
Like, might try to vacuum you up with an industrial tube that leads to a woodchipper.
So just watch out for that.
That'll very likely
be there. But yeah, we get to the clinic and it's crazy. It's like an abandoned warehouse
post nuclear strike. There's like exploding barrels and crates and like Duke Newcombs
there. Yeah. I love when the cops first show up to, they're like, hello, we're all here
for an abortion. Sorry, no, we're going
to take away your heroin bills. We know you have heroin bills.
Yeah. All right. So and then they they they they come and they start looking around the
clinic. They find a refrigerator full of abortions. Also a collection of aborted fetus feet set up like hot wheels in the cupboard, right?
Yup.
Dean Cain's like, they're murdering elves and they're like, fucking talking about man, you're
the dumbest.
He's so confused by this too.
He's like, is this normal?
I've never been to an abortion clinic before.
Do they normally save the feet?
I'm a police officer.
Oh my God.
And the other guy was like, I don't know, probably seems like the kind of thing they would do.
Babies first, Ron shoe, babies first foot.
Oh God.
Hello, guys, welcome to the Soilent Ville.
That's the cops.
Shit.
He's just juggling a chainsaw and two life babies.
I'm just juggling these.
These are snacks. It's not.
You guys, you guys go into poison room. The what? Nothing. Nothing.
All right. So then mid-ray Dr. Gosnell shows up. Now, I know that this is based on a real guy, but
just like if you're stuck with the character name, Kermit, which is this guy's Christian
name, don't cast a do with a Kermit voice and a bulbous bunch of throat fat.
Okay.
Help me out here, people.
Oh, Kermit here is 100% an uncredited Keenan Thompson SNL skit.
Like, no, yeah. He's the best.
I kind of liked his acting in this because he's just like, he doesn't care.
He's just like, oh, hello, everyone.
Welcome, welcome, baby foot.
No, more for me.
Because I'm going to have some baby, I don't want to feel guilty.
I offered you guys some.
I got Sriracha.
No, all right. guilty eyes for you guys. I got. So now, and we have to we have another important character
that we have to meet, right? This is Tattooed Brunette blogger chick. Oh, all right. So
tattooed Brunette blogger chick is actually, it's like she's played in this, right, with the tattoos
as being pro choice, but I just care about the truth and everything. Yep.
Her name in the movie is Molly Mulaney. She is actually a composite of two real journalists
that were involved in this case. One is Molly Z Hemingway, who is a, you can Google,
she's a standard Fox news.
She writes for the federalist.
She's a garbage monster, right?
And the other one is JD Mulaney, who is a white male, right wing local blogger and journalist.
So by the way, exactly zero halves of this composite character would be like young hip
and pro choice.
So.
Well, right.
Right.
And the thing is, is that it's only a composite character because they want the characters
based on JD Malene.
That's who this character is really.
They threw Molly in there and gave her the Molly name because, you know, they wanted
an excuse to have a female character.
But if this is really just a middle aged, balding white guy that's, you know, made it his life's work to take down all the abortion clinics,
the movie just doesn't fucking work. Does it?
Yeah. And, and Malaney is like, he's the guy in Bucks County who like goes on, you know,
KZIM in the morning and goes, you know, what really grinds my gears, the Mexicans, right?
Like, what really grinds my gears, the Mexicans, right? Like that. And of course, we have to establish that Cermet Gosnell is a terrible, horrible, disgusting
evil person here.
And we do it.
And we mostly have to do it with things that didn't really happen and shit.
So they just have these bizarre instances like here where he comes in, he's just finished
with the abortion and his gloves are still bloody.
So he starts eating Chinese food with his with his bloody gloves still on nonsense.
They're just like, man, should we, are we letting the hostile guy keep doctrine right now?
Like in the middle of this raid, he's just like helping people.
And then he walks in and Dr. Gosnell, he's like, oh, sorry for the mess.
Dr. Gosling, he's like, oh, sorry for the mess. Got blood all over me.
That last one was a fighter.
And he just takes off a bloody glove and fires it at the cops like a rubber band.
It takes out Chinese food, starts eating low main with, we still got one bloody glove
on.
He's using that glove to open his low main and eat it.
He's just like, got giant railroad spikes for
chopped sticks and like, oh, shit, he's from something else. These are from fighter.
He's big. He was real big. Remember, remember old man in the sea? It was like that in
there. It was crazy. It was fucking himming away.
All right. So, DA mom gets to her office.
Dean's already there waiting to review the video from the abortion clinic, right?
Yes.
Second time, by the way, in the first 15 minutes of this movie that we have the DA lady
late to her own job.
But right.
There's so many waiting for her there.
She's always walking in like
some, oh, look, you guys got here at nine. Oh, all right. Fine.
I was in the building at nine. You know, I stopped for a coffee and a pee. I was also here.
On time. So yeah, now the review of the video, now one of the things that are making a
big deal of here is that they, when they rated this clinic, they found fetal remains just everywhere, right?
Like in garbage bags, in a refrigerator in the break room, et cetera.
Now, I'm going to be honest with you, if I found out that Pennsylvania three months earlier
at past a law that's saying all fetal remains have to be dipped in gold, like I wouldn't
be surprised at all if they, if the state of Pennsylvania just made it almost impossible
for him to dispose of the fetal remains.
I don't know if that's true.
I'm just throwing that out there.
Yeah, that's very possible.
Either way, though, it's like a clown car
fetus is falling out of his fridge.
It's so dumb.
And milk, there's milk in there too,
which I like, I thought it was weird.
Like my, my, my, my like reaction was like gross fetuses. Is that almond milk fucking disgusting? Really? Really?
Really? Actually, no, they found milk jugs with fetal remains in them in his clinic as
well. Those also were filled with fetal remains. Really? So worse than almond milk. Yeah.
I would you. Well, I mean, let's not go crazy. At least you're full afterwards.
I love it.
So the DA is sitting there going.
She's like, you know, I'm sure there's something bad about this cat shit covered, rat
and frustrated bag of fetus, foot trovee clinic, but I just can't put my finger on it.
Some's unusual here, though.
All right.
So now they're questioning all the various employees of the
clinic. They are not medical professionals. Right now, here's one of the actual, actually
terrifying things that that Kermit Goss and I was doing. He basically had like 16 year
old kids like, yeah, you can be an anesthesiologist. Let me, I just have to, no, I just have to give you the oath of anesthesiology and you
are, you are good.
The oath is count backwards from 100.
Yeah.
Right.
All right.
And so now this is where she explains that the, that Kermit Gossnell, she had seen him
snip the spines of aborted fetuses with scissors.
Yeah, he's spatch cocking them.
That's the fetus doesn't cook evenly.
Come on, everybody does.
Oh my god.
It isn't atheist show.
It's so ridiculous.
This is one of his employees explaining this to and just being like, yeah, no, and then
we'd cut their heads off and lawn shears a lot of the bigger ones.
We'd have shears for it.
Yeah, sometimes a weed whacker on a really busy day.
We cut their heads off of the weed whacker.
They're very, they're very easy to cut through.
It's like, by the way, a staff that had a change on either side of it, you know, it's
like a, like, Darth Maul, but with a change on, so then we get the scene where they're like wheeling everything
out of the clinic and they're like, huh, some of these files are missing and and and like
somebody else is like, well, after a certain amount of time, you're allowed to throw them
away, right?
And he's like, doesn't sound suspicious.
You should point that out.
Yeah, I mean, there's so much whiplash here, right? Because the like all of the creepy,
weird, strange stuff that was in his clinic, right? Like was the key to the actual trial, right?
Like that's how you get a conviction showing that, you know, you have a disposal filled with
baby parts and, you know, a, some kind of torture device with blood spatter all over it.
Never like, but this movie would be worried that you would start thinking too hard about that
and go, oh, wait. So I don't need to vote Republican. I just need to make sure that like critical
women's health services aren't so shinitized. You're very Poor women will go to them literally anywhere.
Seriously, shut up.
Don't you ruin it.
Yeah.
Oh, Jesus.
Yeah.
And they're showing us like the craziest, craziest combinations of things.
There's like his, his like silverware area is neck.
That's also where the bloody speculum goes.
And then there's a label for it.
It's like, you, we save the speculum and it goes here. Bloody spec the label for it. It's like, we save
the speculum and it goes here, bloody speculum right here labeled. That's why I got the label
maker. Also, the Britta you were goes right next to there are very, very medieval, oh,
we have Britta container is right next to that. And the garbage disposal here, we learn
is clogged with babies is what they're claiming
here.
Okay.
Now, but here's the thing.
They never claim that it's clogged with babies.
They're just like, it's like a running quote almost, right?
They're like, oh my God, there's dead babies in the refrigerator.
There's dead babies in the cabinet.
There's dead babies in this closet.
What's clogging up the garbage disposal?
Right? We never confirmed that there
were babies in that they just say that that's just added in. Coffee grounds, but you know,
you know what you're saying? He might have been, you know, just dicing a baby next to
that and needed to put a little bit into the sink and then you don't want, you know, you
use the disposal. Obviously, you don't. You're grabbing that with your hands and then putting it into a napkin and then the fridge is full. So. Also, like this happened several times in the movie
because apparently, Gosnell had a bunch of like flea infested cats that were shitting all over the
clinic. And they were there to catch the rats and shit. If you want me to be angry at any point
in a movie, you cannot put a cat on the screen. Because every time, like they're like, they're slipping and sliding in all the baby guts
and shit.
And I'm like, oh, kitty.
Come on.
The toxic plasmosis room.
That's baby.
You little baby.
To be fair, that's like he and I when the dog, you know, when a dog shows up in anything.
Yeah.
It's like, I'm not with you with cats, too.
Cats, I mean, dogs, yeah, cats that you get me every time. Absolutely. So okay. But now they have to go. So they haven't found
the files, right? They're looking for some files. So now they have to go raid, uh,
Gosnell's home, right? And by the way, like the files are the definition of Muguffin here
in this movie. Like do we ever find the files? Does it ever have anything to do with files? Go fuck yourself. Like, yeah, no, right, right.
Again, it's just there to make it seem like some suspicious who's going on that they
didn't have any evidence of. Right. They're like, yeah, he sure has been moving files.
Well, moving files is fine. Right. You never established that any of them are missing,
especially when they're covered in catch. Shit. I mean, yeah. Right. Right.
Right. At one point, the cop, one of the cops says like, we found five file folders
that matched up with the bags of fetuses. And then the DA is like, what? How would you match
those up? And whatever your answer is, please do not do that in the future. Whatever the fuck you did, don't do that more. All right. So they go to his house to search that to see
if the files are there. And again, right? Like, so we walk around the house and the house
is filthy because he's so evil. People with filthy houses are evil. And as they're checking
all of this Kermit Gosnell comes up and he's like, oh, you guys could have just knocked.
I'm home.
I am home.
He walks in all slow.
He's wearing his robe.
He looks like Hugh Heffner.
He's just all relaxed.
He's smoking.
He's like, hey, officers, make yourself at home.
Anyone want a smoothie or anything?
No, we don't want a smoothie.
Absolutely not.
All right. But then the cops are like, excuse me, Dr. Guaz. Now I see you have a locked
door in your hallway. And he's like, yeah, that's the seller. I'm like, yes, can we have
the key? And he's like, okay, sure, it's messy though. So they go down into the seller.
Now they're in hazmat suits. There's no reason for this. And this, I think, is the most
amazing them freaking
out about the wrong thing moment, right? So they're walking through the cellar and there's
a dead cat in the cellar and fleas start jumping out on this one chick. And she acts like
the like the alien is spraying acid blood on her. Right. Just a bunch of fleas fall jump
on her and she's like, ah, freaking out.
Well, and these are not, I had initially put down in my notes, like these are CGI fleas,
but this is like somebody with a sharpie like drawing physically on the film itself fleas.
It's the worst budget I've ever seen.
Turn up the volume on your computer.
I'm going to tell you about one simple trick.
You get rid of that stomach sludge.
Yeah, that's the level of graphics we're getting.
And aren't, I mean, I feel like they're focusing
on the flies a little bit much.
Like the corpse of the cat was gross.
What I wanted
them to do, I wanted to see jars full of tiny little paws and then that.
Oh, yeah.
I'm bored with the movie.
All right. So the DA, DA mom goes to order coffee and blogger check comes up to her and
she's like, uh, excuse me. Are you going to be the first DA in American history to ever charge an abortion doctor with murder? Also, can you pass me a stir the stirs
are behind you?
Thank you.
And what the hell kind of nonsense is it right? Like, is, is there, I mean, I'm no lawyer,
but like, is there some sort of exemption to the murder laws?
Oh, sorry. Abortion doctors can't be charged. They have a license to kill you see.
It's like a, like a double O. Yeah.
Yeah.
No, it, that blew me.
I'm like, I wonder how many other professions there are where no one's ever been charged
with murder.
Yeah.
And, and the DA's response is great too.
She's like, okay, blogger shouldn't you be in your mom's
basement or something? The blogger's like, I was earlier, the Wi-Fi here is better, it's a little
thing. She is too. That's fun. But then the DA is like, well, I don't comment about ongoing
investigations. And then the blogger asks her, she's like, well, have you heard of Simeka Shah?
And then the blogger asks her, she's like, well, have you heard of Simeca Shaw? And D.A. McGuire is like, no.
And it's like, well, you just commented in your face, suck it.
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
The blogger though, she's got some information for the D.A.
She says, did you ever hear of the Mother's Day Massacre?
Massacre?
Hmm.
Usually someone has to die for them to call it a massacre, right?
I don't know what the legal definition of a massacre is.
Also, I don't know if I would call it Mother's Day based on Dr. Gosnell's.
Yeah, so, but so Lexi goes to work eventually and she starts reading that girl's blog
about the Mother's Day massacre. Now, I googled this, I shit you not.
Here are the sites that came up when I googled Mother's Day Massacre, the Federalist Catholic
vote, World Net Daily and the National Right to Life News.
So it was a massacre, y'all.
It was a deathless one, but a massacre all the same according to that group of sources
basically Dr. Gosnell
Organized to bus a whole bunch of women from Chicago into somewhere in Pennsylvania where they were doing this and
They would just shoot plastic razor blades inside 15 women
That's it actually said those words and I I was baffled. Yeah with a nerf gun And they would just shoot plastic razor blades inside 15 women.
That's it actually said those words.
And I was baffled.
Yeah, with a Nerf gun.
It's a yes, it was a ball filled with giant razor blades or something.
Every time they describe this thing, it got more sinister.
By the end of it, you're basically just thinking of a morning star, right?
Like you just stuck a mace up there and wiggled it around a bit.
Do you remember go go from kill bill? It's a ball. It's a ball of blades. They actually
use that exact phrasing. It's a ball of blades. And sometimes we'd have it on, you know,
you could shoot it with a, if you have it on a chain, you can do more exciting stuff
with it. And we had 15 women and we were like, lineup and then we're going to do the ball blades. Skull she reads the blog, they have the scene of her playing
with her alive baby for just a second. Oh, yeah. Oh, and the baby might as well sing like
I like being alive. Yeah.
I'm happy, baby. Yeah. And she plays with the baby's foot specifically. And she's like, Oh, yeah, okay.
The jar thing is weird. I see that. I see. I needed a visual cue about why that might
be weird. I haven't now. Yep. That is that is I would I'm pro choice still, but that's
weird. Yeah. That's weird. All right. So now they go to see the corner. The corner
has rehydrated as many of the dead fetuses as he could, right?
And he says, now in the movie, the corner is like, well, you know, he probably killed
at least a gazillion babies, but feel like the only ones we could convict him are on are
these five, but all these other ones were also murdered, even though he didn't get convicted
of those ones.
We'll make it super clear, right?
And the point is these are the five biggest dead fetuses.
These are so big that you'd have to empty their skulls to get them out.
And if Dr. Gosnell didn't empty the skulls, that means they were born alive.
So that's like how they're going to go about this investigation.
And D.A. Lexi is already like, so we're sticking our hand into the skull.
We're doing that.
Yeah, well, I feel like I should have asked first,
should I keep doing this?
Should I keep scooping?
I'm pro choice.
Should I keep scooping the skull?
So it's like a jack-a-lantern, right?
You just do it like a jack-a-lantern?
Yeah, well, I love to write before that
because he walks him up to,
he's like, these are the five biggest fetuses
and he's still got him covered up
and he does like a reveal, right?
Like is this your fetus kind of a reveal?
And then explains all this stuff about yeah, they still had brains in their heads and everything.
But then okay, she's like, okay, so we have to check the skulls to see if they've been
suctioned out and he's like, that's right.
And he hands her a scalpel.
And I'm like, you're the dead person guy.
What kind of weird fucking right of passage is this?
You know what they don't teach in law school?
Like how to cut into a fetus's skull?
I mean, look,
I maybe I missed that day, but no.
So.
So okay. So now the lawyers are all in the war room, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha has over 200 violations of existing abortion limits. But, but over of those over 200 violations, over 200 of them are violations of the 24-hour
rule.
That's the bullshit.
You got to think on it rule, right?
So they say he's got over 200 violations.
Yes, 206 of those over 200 or so were not making a woman wait 24 hours to think on her abortion. But yeah, so the
the main lawyer though, that the her boss, the DA is like warning her like, Hey, man, you
know, God's no God himself is super lawyer. And you're going to be prosecuted in an abortion
doctor. You'll never have a political future. Everyone will say you're a racist because
this is, it's going to, it's at least kind of racist anyway, but that's all that's what you're going up against.
I love that point too.
This is the head DA guy who happens to be an African American guy and he's like, you realize
you're going to be prosecuting a black guy, right?
Because just so you know, black guys are impossible to convict of crimes.
Our court system is constantly just calling black people. Please
ask me out loud what race I am. I'm allowed to say this American. Yeah, right, right.
All right. So she goes to chat with the judge.
She wants to bring these murder charges.
The judge is super clear.
She's like, hey, you know, like three guys a week that come in here trying to convict
an abortion doctor of murder.
Are you one of those people?
She's like, no, not.
They're like, oh, okay.
You promise.
I'm going to let you prosecute the serial killer, but no reversing Roe v Wade during
his Pennsylvania trial. Yes. Fine. We're just normal prosecute killer. Ruv.
And the other, the main part of this, like the point of the scene, we're meeting this judge
who happens to be an African American woman. And the point is like, this is one of those illuminati women of color pulling strings behind the scenes. Like women of color
have way too much power. That's, that's what this movie is saying. Yeah. Yeah. No, constantly
every time it's time for someone to come to the defense of abortion, it's going to be an
African American and probably a woman. Yeah. Yeah. The real life judge here
objected to her portrayal in this movie.
Digit.
Presumably the note was she wanted 10% less sass.
This whole movie is like white people trying to like sing along with a rap song and having
to stop during those certain
points when certain words pop out and have to wait. What did you do with gold digger there? Yeah.
Exactly. Nothing. All right. So now it's time for the grand jury testimony. And maybe I'm
too colored by today's news cycle, but I was expecting Bill Bartle leap in front of the camera
with a black box or something in any moment. But anyway, okay. So now they're
talking to people who used to work at the clinic and there's this incredibly hot intern that's
testifying how gross the place was and they're like, well, why didn't you ever like report
this to anyone? And the intern goes, kind of figure that's just how black people were,
you know, gross like that. Cut, cut. What did we say?
Sorry, sorry, that's how I thought that's how thug people
pretty sure. Is that better now? No, not better.
Not better. Jesus Christ. There's no awareness by this movie. They have no idea that any of
these things were offensive, most especially Dean Kane trying to talk like that earlier.
So and then they have a doctor who filed a complaint with the Department of Health. Now,
here is a, here is a serious fucking crime of, of how many people reported this place
and it never got inspected, right? Like that's something that somebody really has to
fucking answer for.
Yeah. And they never really did.
Oh, right. Yeah, there's that other doctor who's like, yeah, I referred patients to Dr. Gosnell and
they'd always come back with like three new STD.
Yes.
And I thought that was an anomaly.
I had to jump it out.
Yeah, just bags of herpes everywhere.
It was a weird place.
I mean, they were labeled herpes, but still, you know, that was, yeah.
Jarz of little herpetic dicks.
That was a bit much.
There's a lot.
Oh, so was there a patient?
Did they hear from a patient who changed your mind and wanted out of the abortion, but
they kept pulling her back in?
Uh, yes, they did.
Yes, they did. Yes, they did.
One of these, one of these witnesses was like,
yeah, so I was like, I don't know,
I'm, I think I'm in the wrong place
and I got slapped in the leg
and they put me like, I was like,
no, I just an abortion clinic.
I was just trying to buy oxy-cutton.
Yeah.
Good.
Count backwards from a hundred.
You're done. Well, and I, of course, I wrote my nose forced abortion. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that Um, and, God's know here, they, they, they're, they're playing it like, you know, he's like, Hey, man, I didn't really do anything wrong here.
So I'm not super worried about it.
His lawyer isn't buying that shit.
Yeah.
It, this is, again, there's a lot of surprisingly good law talk in this movie.
I mean, again, usually it's when they're reading directly from the trial transcripts, but
like, the, the, not Michael Cohen, Michael Cohen here,
like he does the trick that like I do with my clients all the time, right?
They're like, hey, yeah, I, me, I totally believe you.
But I also do this thing where let's role play me being a posing council. And
this is the kind of cross examination you're likely to get. And then I ask like all the
really, you know, hostile questions. And whenever they get, you know, frustrated, I'm like,
look, if I'm your lawyer and I believe you, and like if I can come up with these questions,
you know the other side can. So, um, so real, real, real technique.
Do they often at that point yell out, I'm friends with George Tiller. Oh my God. I'm just
like George Tiller, huh? Was a line in this movie. Oh my God. Well, and that's, and that's
the whipsaw here, right? Like, is we just go from that to where they have to add stuff. It, because let's be clear. Like, this case has absolutely
no connection with George Tiller, who was murdered by fanatics for doing something that was
100% legal. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. Two pro life movies in a row that brought up
vigilante murdering of a doctor as it's they were the good guys. Yeah,
coincidentally, it's either three in a row or two out of the last three then because the third one back
also did that. Yeah, on purpose. Yeah. And they just got guys know being like, yeah, we're I hung out with
George Tiller all the time. We did the the with the ball of razor thing. It was fun together.
We talk on Skype, compared foot collections, normal stuff.
Yeah, I love that when the lawyers comes up, they're like, okay, I do have to ask you about
the baby foot, Marmalade, that you had the jars, that we, what was that?
He's like, oh, I got to preserve the DNA.
The lawyers like, do most people keep the whole foot to do that?
Yeah.
How big do you think a DNA is?
What DNA means to you?
You're dumb.
You're a doctor.
Well, he said I could get it off the fingernails.
You know what?
I've been using habeas humor jars from Sharon at the A.C.
I put the little feet in there.
It's perfect size for one A.C.A.C.S. is daddy put the little feet in there. It's perfect size for one DNA.
Yeah, but the key here too, again, when we step out of the court transcripts, Kermit
Gosnell has a whole like, I don't believe in their laws and care about their babies.
And I'm, you know, it's my vile blood lust that keeps me going and wakes me up in the
morning, you know, or whatever
So now okay, we're back to grand jury testimony and Lexi the the main
DA lady they're the main character is
Rip in the DOH a new one for not inspecting this kitty litter box slash abortion clinic that hadn't been inspected in 17 years
Yeah I expected in 17 years. Yeah. Yeah, the Department of Health ladies like, yeah, okay, we did an inspection in 93 and then
again in 2010.
I technically that second one was a raid, but I was there.
I did inspect.
I checked stuff.
We inspect whenever there's a locus patch is kind of how we do it.
It's a rock.
It's work for us.
Don't be a dick. I'm sorry.
This was this was where I just pulled the escape patch on this movie because you know what you
don't put in front of a grand jury, a hostile witness, right? Like I can see why you wouldn't want
to do that. It's an expert day. Like defense doesn't know about it. They don't get to be there.
Like you, you as the prosecutor get to pick who they hear from. Uh, yeah. So this was just stupid. And, and then like they put in
her mouth, right? This is, this is nurse ratchet, right? The, the, the, the, the lunch lady
of the Department of Health. Yeah. The second biggest villain in this movie. Uh, and,
and what they put in her mouth was like, well, you know,
why weren't there complaints? And she's like, well, you know, governor, Tom Ridge said we
didn't have to go like, you mean Republican governor, Tom Ridge, the first secretary of
Homeland Security, Tom Ridge, ardently anti-abortion, Tom, that Tom, go fuck yourself.
Yeah, right, right.
She says we had orders from the governor not to inspect abortion clinics.
Here's hoping you don't Google who the goddamn governor was.
Yeah.
Tom Ridge, she's part of big fetus, pulling strings on this.
Yeah.
I mean, Fox News puts a D after his name, but, you know, right. And we're supposed to believe that like in order to protect women,
the governor banned them from inspecting women's health clinics. That's what the claim is
here. Well, you know, look, I would not be surprised at all if a Republican governor
stopped the DOH from, uh, from inspecting abortion clinics. So that a case like this could
come up. Yeah. But apparently they've got enough now. So they can arrest Dr. Gosnell and now that the unborn fetuses of Pennsylvania
can sleep sound. We'll take a quick break. But first, let me give act three of the hard
cell here. Will Kermit, Gosnell pay for his crimes? Will the filmmakers accidentally include
way too much of the defense attorney's case for you to possibly believe this movie's
narrative? Will the movie end with a courtroom full of vindicated fetuses clapping? Find out the answers to these questions and more.
We'll return for the depressing for the wrong reasons conclusion of.
God's know. Okay, so look, the key to nailing this script is going to be presenting Kermit
God's know as evil as possible.
Look, we don't want people to walk away thinking he was just an underfunded abortion doctor
providing services for poor immigrants while navigating an ever more complex labyrinth
of disingenuous laws and regulations designed to make running an abortion clinic impossible.
Isn't that what he was exactly what he was right?
Yeah, which is why we don't want people thinking that right. Okay. So look, look, be sure
to play up how gross the place was. Oh, I'll shit in the hall. I'm gonna shit in the hall. Look, I like your enthusiasm, but he's, no.
I could smear peach jelly on the walls.
Huh, weird, but okay.
Look, we're also, we're gonna need to splash
some blood around the set.
Yeah, you know, make it look like a haunted house
was menstruating or something.
Got it done.
But most importantly, and I cannot stress this enough, we need to focus in on the turtles
in the waiting room.
And then I'm sorry, wait, do what now?
Say turtles.
Yeah, I'm not seeing how that, the turtles factor into the evilness that we were guys, guys,
guys.
They were an endangered species of turtle.
Right, but wasn't he like taking good care of him?
So it wouldn't even help with the magic.
Keeping pets is a deliberate violation
of both state and federal ordinance.
Do I have to quote the CFR to you?
Did you think there are better things we could focus on? They were innocent turtles. Okay, are you are you weeping right
now? No, no, no, go, go, go, shit the hall. Step ahead of you. Lock eyes with me.
step out of you. Lock eyes with me.
Doing it in here too.
And we're back for the breakdown and we're going to start off on Dr. Gaznell's arrangement
where he's being charged with eight counts of murder, 24 counts of illegal abortion
abortion passed the 24 week limit or whatever it is. And 227 Mr.
Meade of violations, the 21st of abortion, it's over 200 charges altogether.
And that's when he's like, wait a minute, I'm not sure if you're allowed to prosecute
me for being a serial killer. My turtles need to be fed. And it stops the entire court proceeding. The actual
response we get from a judge, a real judge here is like, listen, I take the endangered species
act very seriously. We are not going to have this murder trial while a vulnerable creature
like a turtle gets deprived. Almost exact words. And I could not figure out if this movie, you know, funded and produced by World Net Daily
was at pro animal rights, anti animal rights. Like the one thing was for sure, though,
that judge absolutely did not give a shit about the cats, though. Right? Right? I'm like,
yeah, but there were cats there too, man.
Also, just one more thing. Last thing before a murder trial, apparently you fix the turtles.
Millions of Americans are starving. American citizens. Are we technically allowed to start the case now before you fix that? But yeah, the judge makes the DA go deal with the turtles. That actually happens.
And, and we get a scene of them dealing with the turtles.
Andrew, question, doesn't the DA have to make sure the pets of the murder suspects are okay
before proceeding with the prosecution? Well, you know, that, that could have been the other part of the day that I missed on,
you know, carving into a fetus school or day in law school.
But I have never had to take care of my client's pets.
No.
I'm not your client, Stephen.
It makes sense.
But that's the same day.
Yeah, the other side.
Yeah, the other guy is client.
All right.
So, yeah, so they take care of the turtles.
They really want to focus it on that turtle storyline.
And then, okay, so the head de aga, he's given one of them dramatic ramp up speeches you do
before a trial turns out there's no eye in team, by the way.
What the fuck was that?
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? It's such a weird speech.
She's like, all right, this guy's a serial killer, but also a beloved abortion doctor,
be ready.
And then he adds that the press is going to be all over this.
Like they're going to be swarming.
And then we get there and he's like, all right, well,
as there's nobody. Okay.
The press is cool with us prosecuting a serial killer kind of deflates the point.
Uh, I was, yeah, I was making.
Well, yeah, no, there's no press at all because the liberal media doesn't care about murder
abortion doctors. They love abortion doctors.
murdery abortion doctors, they love abortion doctors. And this really is like more so than the abortion stuff.
Like when you go and research the karmic guzzanil case, you will find like almost all of it
is, you know, the echo chamber of, and I can't believe that the press wasn't there.
And that, you know, at, right, it's almost as if the press was wary about being used by
anti-abortion activists, the history of manipulating the press now.
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
Well, it also sort of undercuts the whole biggest serial killer ever.
It's these like, we think so.
The media not so much, but we thought so yeah, okay.
So they head in for the for the first day of the big trial. I also I love as they're getting
ready, there's this moment where Kermit Gosnell is flirting with the stenographer. Now he's
being like way too creepy by his kind of clearance, tomasing it and shit, but I feel like working the
Statenographer is a good strategy though, right?
Sure. Yeah.
I'm sorry. I just get I can't get over that suit.
So that's. Hey, oh my god.
That way we can all admit that was the biggest
crime he committed, right?
Green and orange come.
Oh, oh, so he said blouse.
He was. Oh, he did.
Right. I really don't like this. This happened
recently. Pastor Manning did it, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Damn it. Who says they don't be? You can use the word blouse, I guess, in certain contexts.
It's a word that is useful, but not when you're being gross. Don't say blouse like that.
God, damn it. I wrote my notes. It's like he said blouse just to trigger a heath there,
clearly. It's sugar worked. Yeah. So of course, then it's time to move on to the
dot dot dot. Opening arguments. Yeah. Opening statements. Well, you know, I mean, I know,
but you're. I appreciate the throughout. But good. All right. So what are opening arguments then, legally speaking?
There are no.
You're not allowed to present argument.
Argumentation.
Yeah, okay.
No, that makes sense.
So what the hell is wrong with you?
You can make your statement, but you can't have the statement have argumentative power behind
it.
Yeah, it can't be.
It can't be.
That is, it's literally the only grounds to object during an opening statement.
Right. Is that it contains argument?
Argumentative. Yeah. So why the hell did you name your podcast that, though?
So that when people don't know how to open the arguments, they get my show.
Oh, okay. 11 million, you know, yeah. Okay. No, that makes sense. All right.
So she starts off her opening statement. She goes like, now this is not a case about abortion.
It will inspire a movie about abortion, but that's beside the point.
This is a case about murder and just like pan over to the producers of the movie being
like, fuck are you talking directly to us?
Feels like all of a certain race of people are talking directly to me right now and hate
me.
Okay.
Oh, it's all it's most of the races actually.
Okay.
Most of you.
Dean Kane likes me.
Thank you, Dean.
Thank you.
Dean for smiling just now and me.
Yeah.
No, this is this is example number.
I think seven so far where like you can just get you.
I mean, you can almost
see like which words that the script writers took lifted directly from the trial transcripts
and which like they scrolled in crayon like next to it because because half of this opening
statement by the DA is perfectly sensible, right?
This isn't a case about abortion.
This is a case about murder. This is a case about the murder of Kamaia Manga, right? This isn't a case about abortion. This is a case about murder.
This is a case about the murder of Kamaia Manga, right?
Like, that's totally, that's absolutely 100%
how you would characterize the case,
except she can't say those sentences.
It has to be like, this isn't about abortion.
This is about murder.
This is about the death of Kamaia Manga
and all the babies that they chopped up and.
Yeah. No.
And I will say too, like even with their bullshit words being added in crann over his actual
opening statement, the bad guy has a way better lawyer. Oh, yeah. No, that's because
they edited his statement less, right?
Like this opening statement is absolutely, there it's, which is, you write the opposite.
They're trying to tell you this isn't about abortion.
This is absolutely about abortion.
They're picking on one doctor where they've got one example, a one thing that went wrong.
That's exactly how you would defend this.
The only thing that they have to screw up here is they throw in this like gratuitous shot
of like and and he's like Catholic, right?
Like, you know, so you've been from the police brothers, you know, and and and the reason
the real Michael Cohen would never do this is because every white person on the West Philadelphia jury is a Catholic.
So, you know, very clearly don't go committing a hate crime against, you know, your jury.
You go, it's all Catholicism's fault.
I'm like, well, that's true, regardless of which side of the abortion issue you're on,
but it's not relevant to the case, I guess.
But of course, now that leads to this amazing scene afterwards where Dean Cain follows the
defense attorney around physically assaulting him like a high school bully.
He meets the defense lawyer in the like lawyer harassment hallway.
And he's just like call me a white cat like one more time.
I call me a white cat like one more time. I'm doing the like two flinching thing.
Andrew, another question for you.
Is that a real thing?
Do you guys have like a jousting hallway?
Yeah.
Or you just harass each other, lawyer to lawyer?
It's super rough when you're, you know, a lawyer who's 5'8", too.
Like we call it wedgie hallway.
It's really good.
Yeah.
I forgot the combination of my lockers.
So it's awful.
Yeah, all right. So and then we see this.
I bet slap it at your hand. There you go.
So yeah, so we and we see that the news is covering covering this not a lot, but a little bit of news.
So now we go, I guess I don't know if this is day two or if that was just a lunch break
or whatever, but we're back in the, in the courtroom. And a lady from an abortion clinic,
a different abortion clinic, a good abortion clinic, I guess, is the next witness.
Yeah. And, and, oh, no, this is Cheneine Turner from Northern exposure, right?
Like, you know, quirky hot 20 years ago and boy, the last 20 years have not been kind
to Janine Turner.
Well, she's in this movie, so like professionally and physically.
Yeah, I mean that in every sense of the word.
So you could use some stem cells on something with something. Yeah. But
yeah. So she's doing like, so she's there to be like, no, this is not how normal clinic,
abortion clinics operate. We don't have any cat poop in our hallways. And we don't
snip the necks of babies with scissors. Our women's clinic is not an area from fallout for.
That's not normal.
Yeah, we do not reuse speculum.
That's not a thing we do.
We don't use the family cloth either.
That's part of our abortion clinic.
Fucking weirdo.
And then specifically she's asked like,
have you ever cut a baby's head off with scissors?
She's like, no, I'm left handed and we only have the right one.
And I really mangled one that I didn't get through.
No, obviously I never did that.
What the fuck are you talking about?
All right.
And now we get the cross examination.
And this is like, there are a couple of moments
here. This is the first of them where they let this guy talk too long. Again, this is
coming from most of this coming from the court transcript at this point. And Dr. Gosnell
had a very convincing attorney, right? Based on just what they show that's actually from
the court transcript, I am absolutely ready to acquit. I loved his use of props here. He does a great job. Oh, yeah, yeah, because
he walks it through and I thought this is a brilliant strategy, right? He walks this
lady through the actual abortion procedure as if to kind of show the jury like, hey, no
matter what you fucking do,
this is a brutal sounding procedure.
If I was talking to you about, you know,
whatever, how to take out a kidney,
it would be gross too,
but let's let's dive into this.
This is what you normally do.
Here's the ever so slight difference
between what you normally do
and what my client is being accused of doing, right?
Yeah, I'm not sure about this though.
Were the actual props they used in the movie,
exaggerations size-wise,
I think I feel like they have to be
in that 43-foot needle.
Cause at one point,
that's exactly what happened.
Or what about the salad tongs from our apartment
that they bring up,
like, holy crap.
Yeah, he's like, so, uh, Dr. North, uh, who apparently is like a real abortion doctor.
Do you recognize this 30 foot needle?
And she's like, yeah, we, we stabbed babies to death with it with poison or, or sometimes
with no poison, just regular stab.
Yeah.
And do you recognize these Olive Garden Salad Tongues?
And she's like, well, those are rowing ores, but yes, basically the same thing, scoop out
the babies is what we do.
Correct.
And then like at 23 weeks, it's a really big head.
Do you suck out the brains with this impossibly large curly straw?
Yes, that is great.
Yes, that's great.
It seems silly, but it's, you know, it's a way I like to make it light.
We make a little fun.
It's a little like a...
You can bend it left or right is the key there, so it doesn't really matter if you're
left or right handed then.
Um, yeah, and okay.
And then the co-hand asks, he says, okay, so like if a baby was born, a fetus was actually
like came out and it was alive, it made a portion.
What would you do?
And she's like, yeah, at that point, we just have to wrap it in a blanket and watch it
die.
And he's like, wow, that's a pretty fucked up loss.
He's like, yep, sure is.
It's like, yeah, no further questions.
Yeah.
Now, we have a tiny little ice flow that we push them out.
We're basically,
the falsely, the course,
what the fuck are you talking about?
Yeah.
All right, so the next witness is the,
the dead bootenies lady that is,
apparently this is all about,
that we've forgotten about over and over again,
and we'll forget about in five minutes.
Yeah, exactly.
Immediately after the scene, yes, exactly.
So she took her mom into the abortion clinic and her mom died at the abortion clinic.
Now this is all based on the court transcripts, even the flashback that she has at this point.
Yeah.
It's such a weird moment.
The lawyer is like, so your mom died.
Go ahead and tell us all about that.
Actually, would you mind giving us like a full doodly do?
Yeah.
Could you do your best in competent alcoholic Irish lady voice for the nurse at the clinic?
That would be great.
Would you be able to do that?
Yeah. So we're fucking pulling the baby out with the salad tongs. lady voice for the nurse of the clinic. That would be great. Which would be able to do that.
Yeah, so we're fucking pulling the baby out with the salad tongs and I'm smoking a cigarette and she the other nurse she fucking tells me, you know, you should really quit smoking.
All right, you're fucking up the voice. You're fucking up the voice. I call real incompetent alcoholic
Irish lady nurse to stand and then she comes up and I'll just some
more about this terrifying clinic.
Yeah, right.
So in order to keep their narrative going, they're giving us testimony from two different
witnesses, right?
So apparently here's how it played out.
The woman wasn't fit.
She came into the clinic.
She wasn't feeling great after they gave her the drugs.
So they gave her bonus drugs.
The doctor comes in, the gazin'le comes in,
the witness says he fucked around in his desk for a bit,
like a fucking asshole didn't get back there
to see my mom right away.
You notice his desk was a little off level.
He spent like two hours, the little pieces of paper
to shim it, it was ridiculous.
I'm staring at him, my mom's dying.
So yeah, so he goes down to check her out and she's dead.
And he actually does the bit like,
oh, the daughter's gonna come down.
Like you're doing doctor stuff.
I pretend you're doing doctor stuff.
Plug that in. You know, has anybody stopped at,
like, look, I know, you know,
we made the doodly-do joke.
But like, has anybody stopped to think about like,
how any of this would get in as testimony in a trial, right?
Like, it, well in my fever dream,
the doctor was like cackling evilly
about the defibrillator machine being broken.
Like what?
What?
Yeah, sorry.
Yeah, right.
No, so much of this is happening in a room
where no witness would have been there. Yeah, right, right. No, so much of this is happening in a room where no witness would have
been there. Yeah, right. Right. Any chance one of these nurses unbeknownst to them was
a video blogger who would bring secret cameras on her uniform, not yet, not in an abortion
clinic, 55 into the abortion. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. But again, then we get the
cross examination. And again, they probably should have left this out. Right? Because again, then we get the cross examination and again, they probably should have left this out
Right, yeah, because again the fucking the lawyer for God's know was phenomenal
You know, it basically comes up there and he's like, hey, you know, how did you feel about your mom getting an abortion?
She's like, oh, I think they're very very evil and I wish the doctor would die. Shit. Shit
My bad. Can we start over you ask me that again? And then he asks, he's like, so why did your mom go to Dr. would die. Shit. Shit. My bad. Can we start over? You ask me that again.
And then he asks, he's like, so why did your mom go to Dr. Gosnell? Didn't she like
try other places that were maybe cleaner? And the daughter has to be like, ah, because
the market solution to medicine doesn't work, I don't know what to tell you. He was the
only one who take her. Well, yeah, exactly. Even more damning to their case. She says, well, all the other doctors
said that my mother was, my mother's pregnancy was too risky. He was the only one willing
to do it, right? I mean, yeah, he had like cold fired machinery in the thing, but like there's the only one who would do it.
Yeah.
And also he writes a letter, or he reads a letter of that that Gossnell wrote to the family
of the woman who died in his clinic, which was quite touching.
I guess.
And written.
And written.
And Drew, another question for you.
How good does an apology letter have to be before you're not guilty of murder?
Pretty, pretty damn good, but look at it.
It's got a pretty help from it.
Look, look, look, this is, this is yet another, and again, because a lot of the movie is
just reading from trial transcripts, but like, here's an actual good law moment in the
movie because is it?
Well, no, because defense counsel like reads the letter into the apology letter and evidence
and then asks, you know, now, was that the letter of a murderer?
Right.
And then ADA objects that that's a hypothetical.
And you can't ask a hypothetical of a fact witness, which is a hundred percent true
So I was lawyer me was happy for a second. This was enough to get me through
The last bit of act three
Oh, good. Okay, so if I asked how good that murder the policy letter has to be the other lawyer would object and that wouldn't even get answered
Yeah, correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, literally, it's important. Okay, we nailed that down.
All right. But so the key here though is that they're, that they're losing the trial, right?
But luckily, blogger chick has a hot tip for Dean Kane. Yep. It's the ridiculous thing I was kind of hinting at before. Oh, God. One of the nurses is a photo blogger who just constantly takes pictures everywhere all
the time.
So you'll probably be able to find lots of selfies with headless fetuses.
If you check.
Yeah, so have pictures of even the alive babies.
Yeah, and this is all 100% the opposite of a true story.
We're gonna get to it, but like, just flagging,
like this is completely manufactured and made up and fake.
Okay, so now, here's another,
and this is another one of those,
like if you get to make the movie this can seem super sinister
But apparently their plan was to have the jury visit his clinic
As as part of the trial, but a pipe burst in the clinic so they couldn't go and see it and the you know
They as they say that they show God's no giving a rye knowing smile just like he did in the court transcripts.
Okay. Why does that even matter though? There's so much goddamn evidence. The cops raided
the place and took video pictures of all this already. They could just show the jury and
do that, right?
And that's ultimately what happens in the trial, right? Like they play this as sinister because look like it, what, what would,
what actually did unfold here is, right? The prosecution says we want to take the jury
to the actual site. Then all of a sudden there is, you know, a pipe burst and they're like,
look, look, we can't take the jury. I like, they can't like, wade through water and shit.
Like, that's just not going to happen. So we can either postpone the trial and wait and like, take them later, right?
Or, and then the prosecution was like, yeah, you know what?
Like, we've got all the torture devices and like, bloody drawers and stuff.
We're just going to put on our trial here, right?
Like, it, it's, it's not sinister.
It's not weird.
It's just like, it was their strategy, right?
The prosecution could have done either.
And they were like, yeah, right.
We got the stuff that we need from there.
So yeah, this was an odd moment.
Or like you said, just wait a couple days.
And then it's like the same thing, but like, you know, some of the catch it got washed
away.
Like, all right, but same thing, right?
Right. Yeah. But that choice would be left up to the prosecution, right? Yeah.
Well, and then, okay, and then also I love that they left this in kind of works against them.
So the way that they get to calling, Gosnell, America's biggest serial killer is that, you know,
we don't know how many of these aborted fetuses we found were murdered. And they had originally
how many of these aborted fetuses we found were murdered. And they had originally tried him on seven of them, right? They they they had seven fetuses that they thought they could
show were past the 24-week limit or whatever the whatever the limit was in Pennsylvania at
the time. This is the part where they throw out three of those charges for insufficient
evidence. Yeah. It's babies B G and F and like I'm sitting there thinking like you know if you were going to dramatize these events
You might tell us who the hell baby be like we've never heard of these before we don't know why it got thrown out like it's
Also, he says it like that. He says babies BG and why not BF and G, man? Yeah.
What the fuck if you're gonna make alphabetical babies?
For fuck's sake.
All right.
So now, okay.
Now we got the prosecutors to get ready to commiserate about the ASCIC that they're taking.
And I love this line that the head guy comes in.
He's like, damn it.
Cohen's got the jury thinking that that's just an ordinary abortion doctor that cuts
a few corners so he can provide care for under-privileged black women.
And I'm like, well, yeah, but the jurors can't see the flashbacks where he's smiling so
sinisterly, you know, you're fucking movie has me thinking that guys.
Yeah.
And so that's that's when they decide they're like, all right, well, the pipe burst.
We can't bring the jury to the clinic.
We'll bring the clinic to them.
And they start wheeling in just like medieval torture devices that they've got the costile
clinic.
Yeah.
Here's his iron lady.
Yeah.
This is, this is a exhibit nine, an adorable little pillory in case baby was being difficult about the guillotine.
Ridiculous.
All right.
And now, okay.
So here we get the actual pivotal moment in this court case.
This is where blogger check, she looks over and there's a bunch of seats set aside for
the press, but there's nobody there because nobody gives a shit about this except for extreme right wing media.
So she snaps a photo of all the empty press seats as if to say like, huh, no one cares
but me.
They love their abortion so much.
And this is just such a stupid argument.
How many, using their logic, right?
Like, this guy was convicted of three murders of babies.
Do you know how many, like, local triple murder cases
get national media attention?
I mean, yeah, unless one of them is a pretty little white girl,
like zero, right.
Right.
Yeah.
Oh, and there's, they have ever run out of the court and
send her photo. And then they have the it glow going viral shown on screen. It's the
Pokemon, the movie levels of ridiculous right up until now they've been trying to at
least present this as a serious movie. No, not anymore. Now it's gone viral on apostrophexclemation.com.
That's actually the like fake bullshit site they use like twootler and my face.
Yeah, it's gone.
Schminstagram.
It's going crazy.
Yeah.
And by the way, one little detail here, one of the tweets or twitals or whatever was
from conservative Latina. Oh, really? Yeah. Being like, well, first of all, I exist.
There are dozens like me dozens. And I want that wall too. We are problematic. And also
I am a white guy. Alright right, so I'm about.
So the next morning, they go in for the trial and Lexi is walking through all depressed,
but then the blogger chick shows her that this story is front page news now.
Oh God, I love this newspaper.
I love this newspaper.
I love this newspaper.
Yeah, more than my child like this is high-pause the screen
because I had to soak in everything about this fake newspaper. Okay, so first, right, the USA post
logo, right? It looks like the 1964 World's Fair logo. Yeah. It's like a WWE with like, you know,
the jet pack on the back of it. It's a, it's a, the layout, like comes from a geocities website.
Like, there are like nine different fonts on the screen.
Like one of them is Comic Sans, it's, oh my God.
Like I just, oh, yeah.
Welcome to the newspaper.
We're gonna defeat the Ruskies.
Yeah.
And the headline just says media cover up,
and I'm like, no, because you're a newspaper man.
I can't, that can't be true when you write it.
That's you.
I find it odd that this real thing that really happened
in real life couldn't find an actual newspaper
talking about this real that that happened.
So what I want you to do is I want you to take out your cell phones right now and text God's not dead. So yeah, now the
court is packed with people. Everyone's here to see the trial of America's biggest serial killer.
Why would that? Like everyone in Philadelphia was like,
okay, now print journalism seems to think this is a big deal.
We must all go to the courtroom now.
I'm a print journalist also, that's weird how I, okay.
But yeah, now they're full, including with the press.
Right, yeah, the courtroom is packed.
So it's time for the first day of post-media spectacle court to begin.
This is where we learn like one of the witnesses says that Dr. Gosnell had a cleaner room upstairs
for the white women.
And she had separate but equal rooms, which is terrible.
And perhaps even more terrible Dean Cain uses this moment to taunt his African American detective part.
I know. He's like, he turns to his African American partner and he's like, in your face,
black guy now who's a racist? The fuck are you saying? The witness is like, oh no, I,
well, I was there. I heard plenty of baby screaming for their life. Just watch my flashback, right? Fucking lawyers like I'd like to enter doodly do seven into evidence.
Yeah. Did you ever hear baby's crying? Yep. I bet you wonder what that would be like.
Are you backing up out of the stand? Stop backing up. Just sit back down. I get you're doing a dooly to got it. But yeah, we get a flashback to
the nurses like walking through the dark candlelit all the way of this clinic. And we
hear babies having like conversations in the other room. Yeah. It's like like old babies
like smoking cigarette voice being like, so I says to him, I said,
those shares are gonna do it.
Do you have a cleaver or I'm not,
it's not gonna go through you.
You would see, you know,
that's not how you spatch cock a baby.
I'm just saying that's dumb.
And this is where like the witness that's on the stand now
talks about seeing a baby swimming in the toilet
at the clinic. Are we going to use swimming?
Is that the right word for that?
You want to be swimming?
Wait, what's this baby doing in my toilets?
It appears to be the breaststroke, sir.
Just taste the baby.
I want to taste the baby. I want to taste the baby.
I want to point out, well, at her name is Miss, her name is Miss strawberry.
Oh, come on.
Well, and I want to point out here by the way that no, God knows, not convicted of anything
related to a baby swimming in a fucking toilet.
This never comes up before or after.
I want to see this now, though. I want to see like laps. I want to see like a lip. I
don't know. It's just like it's a fun image. Go ahead. Sorry. Well, so if you, as soon as
you flush, it's laps as the instant you do that. So this was Australian. Sorry. Go ahead.
So, all right. So now it's time for the cross examination.
Once again, knocks it out of the fucking park, right? Cause God's no slurs like, huh, you
just told us X, Y, and Z those sure do sound like bullshit stories. Don't you? She's like,
yeah, now that you repeat them all together, huh? She goes, are you a disgruntled employee?
And she goes, yes, but my lawyer seems very angry about that.
He always be saying that, oh, okay.
He also calls her the forest gump of something.
Of abortion.
Of abortion.
Yeah.
He tries to make some kind of analogy here.
It didn't make sense.
And he like kind of knew it himself.
He's like, so I get you're just everywhere.
You're like at everything. Remember forest gump? Was it all the stuff? You're like the forest gump
of beheading live babies. Okay. Objection to myself. Sorry. That got away from me. That
all the way got away from me. I really shouldn't try and write these jokes in the script. I'm sorry.
Also, and again, when talk about shit that they should have left out of their movie,
at this point, the, the defense attorney comes up and he's like, Hey,
did you, did you make a deal with the DA where you can make up some baby in the toilet stories and not get charged for all those oxy cottons that you were illegally selling. And of course that is objected to because you can't say that.
But again, why point that out to us in your movie, guys?
Yeah. Also the part where at the very end of this, the lawyer just like keeps badgering
the witness yelling stuff over and over after objections to being made before they're
ruled on. And the judge is like, Hey, Mr. Cohen, you're not allowed to do any of that stuff you just did from now
on. Just okay, no doing that now on.
Yes.
We agree.
We'll please take into account from now on.
Accordingly, Jerry from now on, Mr. Cohen has one strike that didn't count.
Go again. All right. So now it's, it's time for Dean Cain to go
out and recruit Nurse Betty. That is the photo blogger nurse that they need. She would
be the key witness. Yeah. And this is another little racism moment because we haven't had enough. Dean K and being like, African American partner, we got to talk to Nurse Betty. And once you go ahead and
you know, talk to her like you do, you know what I mean?
She's putting out people.
No wait, well, you do you mean in a in a deep baritone?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, okay, you're you're gonna make me, in a, in a, in a deep baritone? No, no, no, no, no, no, not,
okay, you're, you're gonna make me, don't make me say, I just, you know, just talk,
sass it up. Are you, are you pointing at your forearm?
Stop. No, is the camera? I'm Dean Kane.
I got to be honest with you. At this point in the movie, I started thinking, and I was
pretty much right that the denim off of this story was going to be them losing the case, but
the jury can victim anyway because they're anti abortion.
Right.
Like up to this point, that's how it plays out and really honestly that is kind of how
the movie plays out.
But first they got to talk to nurse Betty and you know she's like, hey, we need to talk
to you about more stuff about that abortion clinic.
And she's like, no.
And he's like, yeah, what do you know about all those toilet babies?
And she's like, I gotta go to school.
But then she turns around.
She thinks about all those poor toilet babies has second thoughts and goes back to help them.
I'm sorry, that's adorable.
I keep thinking about it.
I'm asking around.
They're playing chicken fights together.
It seems fun.
I don't know.
If it's a toilet.
Yeah, a toilet's a good size.
Like it's not, you know, you're happy
sides when they need to.
It'd be cruel to put them in a full-size pool.
Yeah, no, that would be, yeah, right.
That.
Sorry, I got distracted. I got distracted.
I was a normal image. But yeah, so nurse Betty shows Dean Cain in his partner a video or
a picture or whatever. It's some video and picture evidence of the baby that got born
alive.
Yeah. And like, it might as well, like the baby might as well be like singing a musical number in the video. Just like viable. I thought you were going to go.
So tryable. So this is baby. No, no, it's that I believe me, I'm not gonna interrupt
Sinatra. I can't. But yeah, no, this is where literally everything from from the past
five minutes to the end of the movie is complete nonsense. Baby boy A, this evidence
was presented to the grand jury to get the indictment, right? This was not some like crazy last
minutes surprise evidence. I know it wasn't a surprise exhibit. Yeah, no, it was, it was not.
This was all part of the indictment against Guaznell in the first
place. So yeah, yeah.
Yeah. What a not surprise. Yeah. Okay. So we have a quick scene where Dean Kane has to
show up at Lexi's daughter's piano recital to show him the picture or to show her the
picture. Like he's got the evidence that's going to crack the case wide open. Yeah, and that we get the husband of D.A. McGuire here being the worst. He's such an asshole.
He's like, mad at her. She gets up to talk about the murder trial she's dealing with.
He's like, you're going to leave during this piano recital. I don't know what her is next.
And she's like, yeah, because of a murder case. And but can't people just send out MB3s of the recital at this point? What fucking
years? I know what a piano looks like. Is this pushing buttons? Just send me the, I
don't know. Yes, I have to leave right now. Is this because I wept during sex? They
are like, no, no murder case, murder, stop talking. Also the weeping.
Yes, it's partially the way that we'll go back to that. That's ridiculous. Mostly murder
case to be clear. Yeah, but like apparently, yes. So he Dean Kane shows her the picture.
She goes back into the recital that we have that long moment where she tries to cry and
eventually she's like hand signaling to the camera to just cut. It's not going to happen.
Just cut. God damn it.
Yeah, I mean, someone needed to come over and like,
tweez one of her nose hairs because she cannot fake tears here at all.
She looks like she's eating bad shellfish.
It's a good thing.
Yes, yes, she just kind of goes low and holds her stomach.
Yes. Yes, she just kind of goes low and holds her stomach. Yes.
Ha ha ha.
Like maybe she's laughing about the adorable kids
and the toilet swimming around.
I could, yeah, it's probably balancing it out.
All right, so now we're back at the trial
and Betty, nurse Betty is testifying.
She also gets a flashback.
And this is where we get to see, for the first time
it's like that we know of, we get to see dying
babies I view cam.
Right.
We're like looking up at the doctor as he's stumbling for some scissors to cut our next
with.
Yeah.
It was a peaceful death though.
Well, we even die.
We even die in POV, right?
Because we hear the snip as the baby's head is
loathing over to one side and everything blacks out. But the chick is still testifying
because they're like, well, I guess the scene can't end there. That wouldn't make any
sense. So like slowly the courtroom scene fades back in like, Oh, are we done with the
right? Because the baby was dead. Gotcha. And again, because this is the imaginary part of
the movie and no one involved in script writing has, you know, actually been inside a courtroom
or, you know, seen anything other than Paulie Schor's jury duty. Like all of a sudden, like
they're 15 leading questions in a row. There are no objections to it. Like, but then Michael Cohen objects to a perfectly reasonable
authentication question. It's, it's, I did my literally every blood vessel in my neck
tried to strangle my brain at the same time. It was not.
Yeah, they focused on some weird stuff during this question here at the end.
At one point, they were like, so nurse Betty, what happens after the baby gets his next
snipped off with sheers?
She's like, I put him, put baby on the tray and then put that tray on the baby shelf.
A shelf of babies?
He had a shelf. And like, I get that that's weird. But like, are you
not focusing on the, like, the home decor element?
That's what you're zeroing in on here. Like, did you want him to have like a decorative
basket for?
Like, when the governor would be far more useful in the city, you know, it's tough. Go holders
that you can put him out and you can so you can
separate them and they don't have a nice way to present. That works for small dead
fetuses. Alright, so the judge needs a recess to figure this all out. So we go into the
judges chambers with the lawyers, oh no, we don't. That all happens on screen in this dumb
fucking movie. It almost feels like something should come up
and say real missing.
So they come back out of the judges chambers
and she's ready to present the photo to the jury.
But the photo in this jury is like the briefcase
in pulp fiction, right?
Where we don't get to say it's like the painting
and rock and roll.
We don't get to see it.
Yeah.
Kermit Gossnell does't get to see it. Yeah. Kermit, guys, no.
Does not like to be fucked by anybody.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I actually know he likes to be fucked by a lot of people.
But yeah, then we get to look on like everybody's face in the jury.
Now, we're not seeing the picture.
So I'm thinking to myself, oh, is this one of those gross looking aborted babies guilty? What?
Yeah. The baby's alive though, right? Like it's a picture of, she took a picture of an
alive baby. That was the point. Sorry, I wanted one of the jurors to be like, oh, so cute. Yeah. That was awesome. Oh, go, go, go, go. Come on.
You mentioned in a toilet, then I'll be so cute.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This definitely feels like the Ray Comfort, like viewing this picture will turn the
baby, you know, pro-want portion.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the, the DA makes everybody look forever.
She's like, look at it.
Look at it.
Slower. Everybody does three minutes of staring at this picture. Touch the corner. Touch it.
Come on, slower. Now there will be a test. But one guy in the jury is like, good, good,
looks like a stupid baby. It was my favorite part of the movie. One guy is like, good, looks like a stupid baby. I'm here. Here's my favorite part of the movie.
One guy is just like, yeah, I think this is great.
This is good for society.
Have you read Freakonomics?
Because those things are awesome.
All right.
So now it's time for the closing statements.
I wrote arguments and my thing, but I'm wrong.
So it's a closing, no, no, no, it is closing arguments. Oh, so I fucked it up. Both ways. The great, then,
that makes me feel much better. Thank you. I knew, I knew the pedant in you would absolutely
love to be corrected. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. I, I, I, look, honestly, I would rather be
corrected than not. You know, at least the good thing about being a pet and open to correction is you only have to be wrong once about each thing.
It's still going to be wrong and awful fucking lot.
Anyway, so, but again, this I'm assuming was actually taken from the court transcript
because it's a really good closing argument.
So good in fact that the audio fades out as he's doing it. And we do like the camera just pans over to Lexi, right?
And we focus in on her as the fucking thing fades out.
Then like her closing argument, she just walks up there.
She's like, look at my gross picture again
and drops the microphone.
Yeah.
And again, right, we have, you're right on both of these, right?
Like so,
defense counsel's closing argument comes from the trials from the trial transcript. So it
totally makes sense and is convincing and they don't play it. And then the prosecution's closing
seems insane because it wasn't taken. Well, some of it was, right? Like so because again, remember, like in the actual case,
what won the day was not gross picture. Like that's been in evidence all the way since the grand
jury, but was all the like gross stuff from the clinic plus, you know, plus the death of the immigrant
lady, right? So it like that's what carried the day in the actual trial, but like, hey, maybe abortion
should be safe and legal and performed in sanitary conditions.
Like it all of that, you can't make that in this movie.
So they have to be like, and look at the picture, look at the picture.
Right.
Yeah.
Well, and she even says during her, during her closing argument, she's like,
you know, remember, this case isn't a bar abortion. It's about, you know, what's her name?
The lady that we mentioned three times in this 90 minute movie, right? Right? Like, like,
like, yeah, right, right. Yeah, you, you, because you haven't written down though, but like,
just from watching this movie, since we only hear about her twice, there's no way you'd remember
this person. So yeah, and in the real world, that's what this case was about. Yes. Not in the stupid fucking
movie though. All right. So now we cut to nine days later, the jury has reached their
verdict. So you can tell it was a real open shot case here. Right. Right. So photo, one
photo. Well, and nine days of marination. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly. So they
start reading out the verdict and at first it seems like God knows going to get away
for that because they're like, how do you find for baby E and they're like not guilty.
And I was like, what how do you find on Karamaya Munger and they're like, not guilty. And
God knows feeling pretty good. They're like, okay, what about baby A? And they're like,
yeah, guilty of of all the other shit.
Yeah.
And then the audience goes crazy.
Yeah, right.
The audience goes crazy because they were all big fans
of that immigrant lady, right?
This wasn't about a board shit.
That refugee.
Yeah.
So right.
So okay, now we get my absolute favorite moment
in the entire fucking movie.
They're standing outside of the courthouse steps.
Tattooed blogger chick comes up.
Apropos of nothing.
She says, I am not an ideological blogger.
I seek only the truth regardless of whether it confirms my pre held
conceptions of things.
Bye.
What was that supposed to even mean?
Like, I'm pro choice. So I believe
doctors can murder whomever they see fit. And then the movie does it in there. And I'm
like, why isn't the movie over yet? That's weird. But it's because one of the women from the grand jury wants to introduce Lexi to her unaborted
daughter.
Yeah.
We close on the not dead child.
Here's my living child, Gracie.
Is your name?
Hey, Gracie, you did not get murdered.
And I, and we finally have the much promised media circus, right?
There's like 11, there's maybe 12 extras out here on the courthouse steps for them have
signed.
I mean, it's they wrote up that morning on notebook paper.
Yes.
Also, so the movie ends and it goes, by the way, if you want to see that dead baby picture,
we've got it on our website.
I did not.
Did you go over to see the inside of the briefcase?
Yeah, I did.
Oh, did it end?
It was adorable.
Was it serving in the toilet?
You don't got to do the backstroke?
That was, it was disappointed.
No, it wasn't that.
They didn't, they didn't put any effort.
You do a little photoshopping and that's some of that.
It's not that hard, guys.
Come on, you photoshopped your whole movie essentially.
Just do a little more effort.
Yeah, right, right.
Yeah, like you did with the fleas, it worked out great.
Okay.
And then, all right, so the credits come on and they start showing us pictures of all
of the people, the actual people involved in this.
But since Dean Gaines' character is an undercover cop, they just show a pixelated phone. So, so real trivia bit
my, my understanding, so they pixelated him out because he's, you know, the real cop
or whatever, but, but apparently in the, uh, directors cut DVD that you got if you were in Indie Go Go backer, they show his
actual face.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I don't think that was intentional.
I was like a Patreon part of, you know, you can see the James.
It actually looks like I think they just fucked it up.
Yeah.
Also, by the way, they show us a picture of the goddamn turtles.
Why do they show us a picture of the fucking turtles?
Well, to close things off tonight, I think the analogy is obvious.
Watching this movie was as bad as aborting a baby with a blank.
All right.
So yeah, I know what you think, right?
I'm gonna go back to the Olive Garden salad tongs well,
but no, I am gonna go with unlimited bread sticks.
I bet you could kill Eli's kid with that, right?
You just show them up.
They're long enough.
They'll have a hard attack.
Well done.
Okay.
I'm going to say turtle, somehow turtle, giant snapping turtle.
Maybe some kind of a teenage mutant version of it with a weapon,
with a ball of blade, obviously,
sigh, sigh are the best weapons, but well, there's for turtles, obviously,
clear.
Yeah, that feels awesome.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
All right, well, at least we can all agree on that.
Okay, well, that's going to do it for a review of Gosnell, the trial of America's biggest
serial killer, but that's not going to do it for the episode just yet, because we still
need to recommit to this weird addiction of ours.
So he'll tell us what's on deck
over the top Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, to be the one Eli. I'll be back for. Huh? I wonder who picked this timing. The winner
takes it all loser. So the very religious movie over the top next. Okay. So with that
to look forward to we're going to bring episode 194 to a personal close. Well, even the religious thing will figure it out. That's why it's the loan is a Catholic.
Oh, IRL.
All right.
So once again, a huge thanks to Andrew Dores, Frank and that one of us today.
If you'd like to hear more from him, be sure to check out opening arguments with the link
in the show notes.
Also, an equally huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that will make the show go.
If you want to count yourself among their ranks, you can make a pre episode donation patreon.com
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And once you've finished the mission,
thanks again for giving us a check in your life this week
for Heath and Randy Leibos,
and I'm an Oluzans' Promise to Work Hard
to earn on the chunk next week until then.
We'll leave you with a breakfast club close.
The director of this movie
wrote an op-ed for the national review,
arguing that the real victims here are conservatives in Hollywood and Sarah Huckabee Sanders,
who bravely sicked her army of brain-dead Twitter followers on a poor Virginia restaurant
for the crime of giving her a free cheese plate.
I am not kidding even a little bit about this. Baby A was a pretty leading fucking name to give the fetus in the court of law.
Somebody took home those jars of baby feet from the set.
Somebody have taken those home, then we took them home.
Oh yeah.
Right? Short rib. Yep. Yeah. Oh yeah, right.
Short rib.
Yep.
Okay, you guys know none of this is making.
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