God Awful Movies - 195: Over the Top
Episode Date: May 14, 2019On this week's episode, we respond to the fans that have been asking for another secular review since we dropped our Patron-only review of The Core last December. So this week, we review the arm-wrest...ling, trucking, father and son reunion classic, "Over the Top." --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/
Transcript
Discussion (0)
It's not the typical comedy scene where it's like turn the radio on, turn it off, back
on again.
They go back and forth with the radio for a solid 74 minutes.
And like you can see the actors are afraid and trapped in a loop, be like, I feel like
one of us had a line with some of that right in.
This is a minor exercise, I've heard it. Yeah, there's no escalation there or anything.
Yeah, it's just on and off and I think I think the writers like it's gonna get funny eventually.
You guys just roll the 45s guys. OOVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII is my good friend, Heath and right, Heath. Welcome back, sir. Thanks, Noah. So, you know what's a tricky word?
What's that?
Double.
Um, you know, two, it means like two of something.
What the hell are you talking to?
Explain that to you.
I'm going to do several more times.
Everybody just keep that in mind.
So you don't get confused later on in the movie, double.
It's like, it's like a word for two-ishness.
It's like single, but twice.
No, right?
Yeah, exactly.
And sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnick.
Eli, how are you this fine afternoon, sir?
I'm amazing.
No, how was how's last week's movie?
Was that fun?
You got your face.
Fuck your face.
Fuck your face.
Fuck your face.
Great.
Oh, fuck your good tense.
Well, a little behind the scenes. So the way that I picked movies, everybody is I'll
watch like five, 10 minutes just to make sure it's thing. I watched five minutes of
Gosnell and I literally wrote my notes when I go on vacation.
Really? I were all very surprised that that's how that came about. Eli, I didn't say
repeatedly during last week's record that that's exactly how the fuck that came about. Eli, I didn't say repeatedly during last week's record, that's exactly
how the fuck that came about. All right.
Just a feet in a fucking jar. It's going to be so funny. You're going to be like, well,
that's actually, you got, I must admit, that's the good, that's a good piece of the
thing. But I'll reverse it on you. I'll start talking super black while you're doing
it. Don't now you're pregnant. You're making me feel stop.
Don't invite Dean Kane.
Don't come on.
I mean, invite Dean Kane.
All right.
No, a drive from Dean Kane.
I still have issues.
I'm finally getting just like a sleep in all the way through a night.
Let's not revisit that movie.
And instead, let's talk about this was, okay, a lot of people have asked us since this
one was announced at the end of last week's show in what way is this movie religious? And the answer is, it is. No, it's not. It's
not very religious. Not at all. So in December, for like a Christmas present, we gave the
way one of our Patreon only secular bonus episodes to everybody on the regular feed. And
ever since then, yeah, right, right. That was it. And ever since that that a lot of people have said, Hey, could you do like that again? We really
enjoyed that. And we're like, well, that's kind of not what the show spout. But then Eli
may have watched that shit last week. We thought you know, it would be a good time to do a
movie that had just was not like that was now. So without further ado, tell us, Heath,
what will be breaking down today? We watched over the top.
It's the best Stallone arm wrestling.
It's a 90 minute Budweiser commercial about a convention in Las Vegas for people with
chronic overswetting disorder.
They also have an arm wrestling tournament.
It's pretty great. It's blood sweat and beers. Oh nice. Oh
I'll done sir. All right. So Eli how bad was this movie?
Well, if you've been waiting for the trucking arm wrestling crossover film
About your hobby, but none of them had a love story between a man and his son.
You will love this movie.
It's Namblea Little Night Music.
I feel like you were going for a pun there.
Namblea Little Night Music.
I'm sorry.
I had a client a knocked out.
Something's turning it.
I don't know.
Hundred. I didn't work the kid fucking.
So, okay, so salami. Here's the big question though. I thought the answer would be obvious
after I wash up. I don't think it is. Was this better or worse than the average Christian
movie? Yes. This movie, but it's, it's not good. No, no correct. You guys are both right so far. Yeah, it is also
Wonderful at all times. Oh, okay, you are really nailing it up until just now
You know what I'm saying like there's never a moment when you're watching this movie that you're not the happiest you've ever been
Oh, no, no, no, you're wrong about that in every possible way. I would
have been way happier if David A.R. White was part of the arm wrestling tournament. I'll
be honest. Yeah. No, that's true. That's true. So other than him, it was better. So yeah.
I'm going to withhold judgment for the time being. All right. So is there anything you guys
want to nominate this one for being the best of being the worst at? Yeah. I'm going to withhold judgment for the time being all right. So is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best of being the worst at? Yeah, I'm going to say best
worst. I am DB trivia. Oh, yeah, I'm going to give you a few quick highlights. First of all,
this movie's opening weekend made less money than mannequin. So that's fun. Also, Sloan got nominated for a razzi,
but narrowly lost to Bill Cosby for
Leonard Part VI.
Mill Cosby won that one.
And you know what? I'm going to be
honest. He deserved that win.
He robbed his chaplain.
All right. And last one, this one's
my favorite. David Engelbach is one, this one's my favorite.
David Engelbach is one of the guys who wrote the original story that got turned into this
screenplay.
And he was very disappointed with the movie.
According to IMDB, quote, he recalled having tears in his eyes when he saw the film.
He remarked that his original draft wasn't nearly as dumb as the final film and that it
was more about truck driving and arm wrestling than it should have been.
End quote and I'm so curious like what the fuck else the original story was about.
Yeah, there was a chicken with new karate and the other way.
Yeah, what else would it be?
We can get the
author of over the top. That's not. It's not hard. I think there's an app to look him.
I'm pretty sure he's just in the phone book. We could just call.
We could just call. Just phone book.
Thought there's next. I can't be about the disintegration of the tokeville's America. I don't know
what happened to my scripts. All right. See, I was going to go with, and he's already alluded to it, best worst anti-perspirant.
Oh, yes.
There is no moment in this scene in which every single person is not drenched like swimming
through sweat.
It's, everyone is slathered.
Yeah.
It's shiny.
It's shiny. It's a blessing.
So cars are being lifted by the rising tides of sweat behind them in every scene.
Yeah, it's gross.
What do you think they were doing to accomplish that?
Just like playing squash before every take for three hours.
Just like running around.
I want to see that part of the.
I think co-cane.
I think it was going to say, yeah, the answer to that is the thing they were doing was co-cane.
That'll shine you right up. I'm going to go with best worst love story. So,
I have a theory that this movie was originally written about a man who like finds his ex-wife's
sister or something and falls in love with her.
I think there was a romance in this movie at some point.
And then due to a slap-dash correction at the last moment, they made this a love story
about a man and his son because this movie follows every single romantic comedy beat,
except for the part where it's about a father and son.
Yeah, no, absolutely, absolutely.
All right, well, tell you what,
the good news is that the movie really has no plot,
so we can afford to take a break,
but once we come back,
we're gonna dive into all the mundane inaction of
over the top.
Boys, boys, get in here.
Uh, yeah, Mr. Golog.
I got some bad news for you.
Our lead actress just quit the movie right before we could film all of her scenes.
Oh, you mean the love interest?
Exactly.
Oh, shit.
Well, like, that's like what the whole movie is about.
The costume together, the romance, we got the movie, the out guy.
I know.
So I was thinking, what if we take the character of the son from the beginning of the movie and we just sub him in for the love interest.
The son is what you said you want to sub in the son.
To the love story as the love interest. Yeah, the kid father. It'd be great.
I mean, will that be good? Yeah, I mean, you won't
know until you try. It's the
eighties, right? I mean, I guess
we could give it a shot. I
all right, that's the spirit.
Seriously, what's with the way
you talk? You're from hell's
kitchen, right?
Nope, I got nothing. I got.
What?
Why would you even?
They're okay.
And we're back to break down the first movie we've watched that was named after the problem with the acting and we're going to start with some good old interesting to look at trucking. Yes. Second best thing to
come out of 1987 here. We go. All right. Well, I'm a feeling I know what has was has
your top nominations. I'm going to go ahead and move this up one. And we're not just watching trucking. We're watching trucking of a truck, which
the loan was like, all right, I feel like just truck isn't tough enough for my character.
I want to be driving a truck that's carrying a second truck. So we wanted that second
truck to be carrying a load too, but they told him no, they had put their footstown somewhere.
Yeah.
And can we talk about the music? So the theme of this movie, which we get at the beginning and the end and several dozen times throughout, I just have music note, Nazi being handcuffed,
explains why America is great again.
Yeah, we are like, I, the first thing I wrote down, we're 28 seconds in before I'm sick
of the fucking music.
Yeah, we're also 28 seconds in and we've seen eight American flags by this point. That's true.
Like, like, they were on pace for a 360 American flags at one point during the
very aggressive. Yeah, so we're seeing we're seeing sliced alone truck in and we're also watching some kind of child
military graduation. I want to say
Child soldier is creepy no matter who does it
Yeah, right like even if it's just ceremonial. It's still pretty fucking creepy
I feel like the graph of child soldiers is like pre-4. It's adorable and then four to 10 it's not adorable again. And then
there's just normal soldiers. Oh, okay. At 11. So yeah, I say get like average soldier
adorability. However, adorable you find our nation's heroes. It's right. I'm not afraid to say it. Oh, the troops are heroic. Yeah, everyone will
say that. I think they're adorable. I mean, they're a little bit of four year old ones
absolutely. Thank you for serving our country adorably. All right, cutie. So we have child
soldier graduation, but slide in Megan. We see his kid. We know it's his kid because the
one we're focused on. he doesn't throw his hat.
He doesn't have any fun at all.
Isn't nobody there to watch him graduate, dammit.
Yeah.
And we're watching Stallone like slowly get ready to go to this graduation, but he shows
up too late.
And I love he's like, what's on a tank top?
And then he's like, all right.
So, military graduation for my kid,
what goes with the tank top?
Oh, these nice pleated chinos,
gonna go with these.
Obviously, not formal enough suspenders.
Okay, now I've barely got.
He's wearing a tank top pleated chinos and suspenders.
And I love that they like, they want to make trucker part of his personality so bad
that when they show him getting ready, he's like getting ready with his truck, right?
He's like looking into his, the chrome on his truck to see his hair as he coms it and
shit, but in a bow tie on the truck.
Yeah.
Good truck.
Right. Right. So we watched that. We watched his kid
jealous. We look at all his peers who are beloved by their parents. And then he shows up
to the military academy late in his semi truck to pick the kid up. The, the, the people
at the security checker, like, oh, delivery's in the rear. He's like, no, I'm here to pick
up a kid and they're like, oh, go right ahead.
I'm not impressed with their security.
Yeah.
Also, I wanted the guy at the gate just to be like,
yeah, but you can acknowledge why I was confused.
Right?
She came to take on your child, the 16 wheeler,
and you know, construction workers don't
compick their kids up in a steamroller
so you could have gone to enterprise,
maybe done something.
So he pulls up in his semi.
He gets out in and everybody by the way, just looks at him.
Like I understand when he's standing by the gross semi trucking shit,
why everybody's looking at him like, wow, most of the people drive normal vehicles
to pick up their kids.
But even after that, as he's walking through the halls,
everybody keeps looking at him like, Oh, he's poor and gross. Yeah, that we literally hear someone
go, who's he? And I wanted so badly for the other extra to go. So fester Stallone, he's
an actor. He was in Rocky and some porn. Ruggedly attractive. I'm not saying that. That can't
be the one. All right. So we see the kid, his kid,
about to get into a limo when someone with the school runs out and says,
hey, the Colonel needs to see you.
You're going to be a major character in the movie.
It turns out.
And then love, there's this amazing moment where the kid walks away to go see the Colonel
and the chauffeur is just like, oh, okay, I'll just wait here with the car forever, I guess.
I will fuck myself.
Just here.
That's fine.
Okay.
My time's worth nothing.
So, so the kid, this is Mike as the, as the character's name, Mike goes back in to
see the Colonel and the Colonel's in his office with sliced alone.
And okay, just let me pull back the camera a little bit for those of you who are wondering
what the fuck is going on in this movie.
First of all, nothing, nothing is happening in this movie and nothing ever will.
But the mom's, the dying cancer mom's plan was for sliced alone to shove as a surprise
in his 16 wheeler and kidnap his son without this kid's legal guardians knowledge.
Yep.
Okay.
That's the plot of the movie.
So this is their meet cute case you're wondering.
Hey, I'm your dad.
I felt like this would be the best way for us to meet.
You know, like the surprise.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Also, by the way, Cancer Mom Christian movie.
This is a Christian movie.
This is just nice.
A great Christian movie.
So yeah, the kid's super like disappointed, but he goes with him and he's like, Oh, God,
gross. We have to ride in a poor person vehicle. Now, the, you know, like the idea here is
the kid has to be an irritating prick at the beginning and then like warm up. It's just
the load. The kid doesn't know how to do that. So there will be a switch that is flipped eventually. Right.
Also like, no one to get to on my side here, but like, hey, surprise, you're going to ride
in the front of a truck for three days to make up for me not parenting you is not a fun
thing, right?
They're like, hey, guess who gets to go ice fishing for a year?
Yes.
Well, especially, well, yeah, we'll learn later. They're actually going to
sleep in the fucking truck too. So yeah, it gets worse. So yeah, okay. So they set off for
their three day drive. And Mike is disappointed by how disgusting this truck is. And like,
honestly, like you they're trying to make the kid into a prick, but yeah. I love that
moment too. He's like, dude, you're truck's a piece of shit, man.
And still, and starts talking.
And he's like, wasn't looking for a response.
Please don't talk.
I'm just saying you're truck's a piece of shit.
That's end of thought that we're done.
I wanted this to be the whole movie.
So like, yo, I was thinking, maybe you and me, I don't know who would get to know each other,
you know?
I'm sorry, are you chewing gum?
I'm getting like every fourth word, max.
Nah, it's just me, you know, you mother and me, like, you know, your mother and she,
okay, you paused there.
So that was the end of the sentence, I guess,
where you done?
Well, couldn't you be that, you know, friends, you know?
Okay, counter-proposal, you abandoned me
for the first 10 years of my life and fuck your face.
Oh, good ball, bye.
Bye, girl.
Bye, girl.
Bye, girl.
Bye, girl.
That would have been so much better than what we got.
But there are a lot of things that would have been better than what we got.
So the kids-
Somebody fucked his face, yeah.
That would have been-
There you go.
So, okay, well somebody did, but he doesn't let that video get out.
So then the kid looks around and asks the very, what I thought was a poignant question.
He's like, hey, why do you have pictures of me all over the inside of your truck?
Like some kind of fucked up jerk off shrine.
Yeah.
The yarns weird.
Can I say that?
Especially are you trying to like place me in a rico chart that's happening,
connecting B to me here?
And again, the can ask the very reasonable question.
He's like, Oh, you asked my mom for these photos on.
Could you have maybe asked me, you know, while you were parenting me, we could have,
we got in a couple of snapshots together. Yeah. Well, and this, this is also where we
learn that slice been trying to be a better deadbeat dad than he is. Um, because the kids
like, Oh, you wrote my mom, why the hell didn't you ever set me a birthday card and sliced all I was like, I should you birthday cards all the time.
Someone's been intercepting his birthday cards, y'all.
Oh, and of course this is the first time, but not the last that
Mike will be upset and run into traffic.
Well, right, he plays it off like he's going to go full Anna in the
truck, right? He's like, oh, pull him from the good get sick and then he just decides to run across the eight lane highway.
Pull over, man.
Actually, never mind.
I'm gonna shit in your truck.
I'm shitting right now, shitting in your truck.
You were too slow.
You're not even gonna notice.
But then he runs out, he pulls over, the kid runs out into traffic and still own just
like in the middle of a busy highway runs out and tackles
this kid and nobody reacts to the terrifying gigantic man wrestling a child to the ground
and drag back into a truck. Yeah. The 80s. It was a simpler time. That was yeah, back in the
80s, nobody would have reacted to that. People just honking. That's good parenting. Exactly. Exactly. All right. Now it's time to meet
evil grandpa as portrayed by Robert Losea. Bobby Lose. Christian movie. Robert Losea.
That's just moving. Two point. Hey, honestly, when we started doing this show, I wasn't expecting
to see Robert Losea as often as we have. I guarantee you every time anyone sees Robert Lozia, they say that.
We are watching big next week that's no.
No, he made it to board game night.
I feel like he'd be busy.
All right.
So Robert Lozia is at the military academy.
He can't believe that fucking trucker picked up his grandson.
He cusses out the colonel and everything. He's, all right. So he's supposed to be just
generic rich guy, which means he's constantly surrounded by minions. It's the best. I want
to know what's the cut? How rich do you have to be before you get minions? What's the
aim? I want to be that rich. Yeah. I don't know. Like, I feel like you
could just like start spending like your small amount of money on minions right away and
have at least that and none of the other stuff. And that would be a good start. Get like
a low budget minion situation going on. Yeah, that's really cool. Just like Gary Bucy
and discount minions. I could do that. Yeah. Right. All right. So we head back to the truck
where the kid is annoying the audience by warning sliced alone about the dangers of cholesterol.
Oh, it's the best. He's like, you will stop a stake. And the kids like read the China
study asshole.
Yeah.
Get cholesterol poisoning. Let's pull over and get a few loaves of bread. We'll just eat
those.
Yeah.
Yeah. So they stop in for some food because who needs a fucking plot? Those are overrated.
Well they stop in for food at the real America. And it's immediately it's one of those places
where I like where I'm like, it would be worth eating the food at that place just to bring
Eli to that place. Right.
Absolutely.
It's the Budweiser steakhouse Budweiser Bud.
Yeah.
There's so much product placement in this movie and this is where we get a whole bunch of
Budweiser.
Yeah.
I was pretty sure that the waitress was going to be named Budweiser by the end of the scene.
So okay.
And what I love to his sliced alone tells him he's like, hey, there's a place coming up
where they have great steak and they stop at this shit hole.
I'm like, you're going there for steak.
I wouldn't eat the pre-packaged fucking crackers in that place and you're going for steak.
Okay.
All right.
You deserve whatever you get.
Would have been amazing if they pulled off at Ruth Chris instead.
Oh, wow.
This is actually very nice.
Just, just Peter Luthor.
Put on your tie.
They got a highway, one.
Do I use to spenders for this place?
That's pretty fancy.
Oh, and by Mrs. Pettlers.
All right, so he takes his 10 year old to the kind of bar
where you'd look for prostitutes.
And Mike explains heart disease now to the kind of bar where you'd look for prostitutes. And Mike explains heart disease
now to the to the waitress too. And she makes fun of Stallone for that. She's like, oh,
your kid eats healthy, gross, find him a prostitute or something gay.
Yeah. So he's in the middle of giving his Eli order to the waitress. And then a couple
of heavy show up. And they're like, are you
the character played by slice to loan and he's like, I am and they're like, we want to give
you some shit because this movie really needs to hurry up.
You guys thought that this was about a gang bang, right?
It's a man and an off, right?
You're like, come on, we got to go do it.
And he's like, come on guys, my kid is right here.
And they're like, hey, you can be, you can be in a two.
Come on, let's get the spot to go and spotter. And this guy's
name is the smasher. Mm-hmm. Just for the record. Stolone wrote this and also Rocky. Yeah,
he does. To the things he wrote in his life. These are the two scripts that sliced the
loan hat in it. This was actually his is. This is a seven or eight.
Nine.
He's like a 10 year veteran of writing.
Yeah, right.
No, this is this is a step up for him.
Yeah.
All right.
So yes, really learning from Sid Fields by now.
Yeah.
So smasher is challenging him to an arm wrestling competition for a thousand dollars
is what's happening.
You know, sometimes when you walk into a, but never fucking mind.
But yes, that's what's happening. You know how sometimes when you walk into a, but never fucking mind, but yes, that's what's happening.
These, like these truckers, these teamster guys are carrying around wads of $1,000 bills
to depend on.
So dumb.
And he's like, I hear you're pretty tough. And he's like, yeah, and he goes, I don't believe
anything I hear. I wanted him to keep going. I'm a hard-sophist. You're a figure to my imagination.
There is no you, only me, arm wrestle myself.
Like almost full nihilism, like almost fully like, what's your epistemological stance?
Tell me right, fucking now, let's do this.
And then we'll arm wrestle.
But seriously, solipsism is my And okay, so now we also have to meet large circular bad guy, right? So
Slaya is gonna wrestle smasher
But there's another guy that walks in behind the big crowd and says to turn to slice the sun and says I will be the main bad guy
And Mike is like, okay, well, it's good to know.
Good to know early, especially since we're not gonna see you
again for like an hour.
Right.
Hey, will we ever learn why you don't like my dad
or anything about you except that you're large
and towards the third act and he's like, you will not.
Nope, you will not. You will not.
Not at all.
So, okay.
So, we go to the big arm wrestling tournament
so that we can learn.
Now, the director's not gonna learn,
but we're gonna learn that that is almost
the least interesting possible competition for a movie.
Right.
Short of staring contest.
This is...
Ro Shamba would have been better.
Because at least then it could have been like,
oh, they keep tying. It's one to one, you know?
Oh, no, but they're going to do an arm wrestling competition at the dedicated arm wrestling
table. Yes.
They have at this restaurant.
Yes. Look, every truck stops got that restaurant with that arm wrestling table.
Every good truck stop anyway.
Yeah, very clearly.
So still I was just like, I get hold my squeezy thing.
I get distracted by the squeezy thing.
Anyway, any walks over to their table.
And he's pouring sweat from the walk to the table by the time he gets there.
I like he has a disease.
Yeah, it's it's not I was about to say it's over the top and I was like, no.
That's too much.
Everything in this film is over the top.
But yes, but Sly wins the arm wrestling and has a thousand dollars.
Pretty good deal. We should point out that this movie revolves around the idea that during
arm wrestling, Sylvester Stallone's character puts his fingers on the other guys' fingers
and that means he wins. Oh, the waggle. Yeah, the waggle is very important
and the hat turn. Yeah, the hat turn. So right before he starts, he turns the hat.
He's got the amazing trucker hat.
He goes from forwards to backwards with it.
And we get to see a visual representation of Stallone's enormous, enormous head.
It's on the last snap.
It's a trucker hat.
And he's on the last snap.
It's insane how big his fucking face is.
And then he does the finger waggle where
like he's losing for a second, but then he like flares his fingers out and waggles them
once and then re grips and then that drastically alters the physics.
Yeah, I feel like if you've got that like, you know, the super winning grip, you just start
there, right? It's just careless not to start with the winning grip, but yeah, straight to the force push. If you have that and then go straight to the winning grip, you just start there, right? It's just careless not to start with the winning grip, but yeah, straight to the force push. If you have that and then go straight
to the winning grip right after. Exactly. Right. A lot of this movie is too growling
men adjusting their hands. Yeah. That's the sport that this is a good way. I mean, I
can see how you would think that that would be awesome and sexy, but not in this, in this
incident instance.
But yeah, so Stallone wins and then he goes back to where his kid is and the big giant
guy, the main bad guy that this is bull is there to talk a little shit with him after the
match, right?
The character names, by the way, right now are hawk, smasher and bull.
Just the other record.
Yep.
Yeah. Lincoln hawk, link hawk, smasher and bull. Just for the record. Yep. Yep.
Lincoln Hawk, link Hawk, smasher and the bull.
Yeah.
They'll get sillier before we're done.
Yeah.
We will meet a mad dog.
Yes, we will meet a mad dog before it's all.
Oh, and by the way, bull is a real professional arm wrestler that we know.
No.
I mean, he exists.
He was like multiple, multiple year champion of the, I feel like you can be multiple
year champion of arm wrestling and not be a professional arm wrestler, right? Like I mean,
he makes his money doing a job of some sort or like all podcasters like acting in movies about
arm wrestling. Yeah. But yeah, this guy seriously like the world arm wrestling. Well, he was like
something like like he was like third down down on their list though, because they
wanted some other like current champion.
But when they saw him against Slider, like, okay, this is way too ridiculous.
This guy is way too much bigger than Sylvester Stallone.
So they had to keep dumbing it down until he got to this guy, which is saying something
because this whole movie
is just Sylvester Stallone, very obviously not being strong enough for these giant sacks
of human hormones.
Right.
Because that's what a real arm wrestling champion would look like a gigantic fucking dude.
Not, I mean, Sylvester Stallone's in pretty good shape.
But yeah, there's no like hoist gracy
for arm wrestling.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, you're way in with a choke or something.
Strangling people with their own pinky finger.
What?
He's changing the goddamn sport.
All right, you know what?
He's using my Gino.
I'm doing this naked.
It's naked arm wrestling.
So yeah. So now
the kid watches the the shit talk and the guy leaves or wherever he's like, Oh, chill,
I'm born wrestling you right now and sliced down like a three man, a three. And then the
kid calls him a hustler and runs out to call his dying mom in the hospital. Yeah. Um,
kids got a roll of quarters, I guess he carries a roll of quarters everywhere
goes.
Well, it's a mom at the hospital.
And she does not look good.
No.
It's looking like, uh, like a sick child's make a wish was to be like Pat Benatar for a
day.
Yeah.
And I'm unclear who didn't know she was sick.
Like did Sylvester Stallone?
No, she was sick.
She was supposed to get an operation of some kind.
She's definitely got whispering, dying disease,
but like everyone seems to think that like she's
in the hospital for the flu except for her.
Yeah.
I don't know, was it even clear,
do they tell you by the end what she's in the hospital for?
No, they do not.
I think at some point they do, but just sort of a hand wavy heart thing kind of
away or something.
Atheism, right.
Yeah, right, right.
Um, but yeah, the kids like, mom, I ate him in his sweaty and his grossity arm wrestles
and, and the mom's like, yeah, but I know, but try to love him anyway, hun.
This is the best way for you to gain a new parent.
I feel like any, literally any time other than this would have been better.
Nope, nope.
This is what we're going with.
Yeah, part of the decision.
This, this was most of the movie in the original screen, the original script.
And he was very disappointed that they, they They are of the very important relationship with dying.
Um, yeah.
All right. So that now we're back on the road. They have their radio fight, you know,
this is great. Yeah. They're just like slapping each other's hands, turning something
on, turning something off. And and still owns mad too. And like I, I appreciated this. He's
like, fuck you. Big trouble. It's is a wonderful band get your fucking hand off my radio
Like there's definitely an outtake of still own punching this kid in the face that they had to take out
Yeah, I actually liked like the music
They just had to wait for him to finish listening to the song. Okay, slide can we do the take now? Yes
Here's the great thing about this radio fight scene because like everything else in
this movie, the people who made it have no idea how the real world works.
It's not the typical comedy scene where it's like, turn the radio on, turn it off, back
on again.
They go back and forth with the radio for a solid 74 minutes.
And like you can see the actors are afraid and trapped in a loop. Be like,
I feel like one of us had a line. Well, something like that. Right.
Is this a rise in their exercise?
I've heard. Yeah, there's no escalation there or anything. Yeah, it's just on and off. And I think
I think the writers like it's going to get funny eventually. You guys just rule the 45s guys.
gonna get funny eventually. You guys just ruined.
Rule of 45 guys.
All right.
So now we cut to Graham's visiting dying mom at the hospital and he's like very disappointed
that she let her kid meet his dad.
Yeah.
I literally wrote he's not angry.
He's disappointed in my notes as a joke.
And then he said it.
He was like, no, man.
This is one.
Also, he makes good points. He's like, I'm not man. This is one. Also, he makes good points.
He's like, look, this guy abandoned you and your kid.
And she's like, yeah, but you're not his real dad.
So yeah, not a very convincing argument, which by the way,
Robert Lozius counterargument is, yes, I am.
Yeah, I wanted to just like, no, no, I mean, you're literally not his father.
Fuck me. It's good. I'm giving literally not his father. You didn't fuck me.
It's good.
I'm giving you a compliment saying that you didn't
fuck your daughter.
Actually, in those instances, based on the plot of this movie,
that's, it's a thing.
Yeah, it's quite an accomplishment.
Yeah, no, that was supposed to be like a mirrored thing
in the original story again.
And that's why the writer got really mad.
He had a whole like beautiful little.
Oh, I was like, I was like, trying to go like a washman.
Exactly. Like a washman. Yes. Thank you. So not enough people compare a washman and over
the top.
Yeah. They don't call the troops cute. They don't talk about a washman over the top.
So yeah, but the Robert Loisius Pisty leaves the hospital. He turns to his minions. He's
like, fight my grandson now, damn it.
And what I love is he goes to the doctor and says, if anyone calls on my private line, let me know.
And I wanted the doctor to be like, oh, not on the doctor. I am a doctor here at the hospital.
I have no way. Oh, you're gone. I see that you're surrounded by minions. That doesn't mean that anyone in your prox, hello, he's gone. Okay. All right. So that night we got, we're back to
sly and Mike the kid and they, they decided it's, you know, he's driven enough of the
night. So they're going to stop and sleep in the cab of this truck on the side of the
road. That's where he's taking his kid to sleep is the side of a highway.
You know that moment in a romantic comedy where the guy and the girl just aren't getting along but
they end up cuddling and you can tell there's a spark there. That's this scene except it's
between a man and his son. And there's no way that the comedy that the romcom normally would have this much heavy
hinting at the sex stuff, right?
So because slides are just different, like, five minutes trying to talk the kid into
putting this, he's like, you know, you can put your head on my shoulder or even in my lap
if you want it to.
Sure, you don't want to.
It's cool because I have a, you sure?
I could, I'll move down.
Oh, no, okay.
The awkwardness of the conversation is amazing here.
Just still on, it's like, all right, so, you know,
maybe, maybe we stay in the truck.
Two of us.
Not with any fucking, not, I feel like I said.
I feel like there's fucking in the air.
I should clear you back.
I don't want to ask about fucking. I was about to ask about.
Okay.
Good.
Use my shoulders pillow.
Sorry.
Say it's actually made a section of the game.
Not a fuck pillow for clarity.
Dick pillow.
And well, okay.
So and then you know, he's like, he's trying to get the kid to play his head on his
shoulder and then they wake up and slice the loan as his head on the kids shoulder.
Oh, this romance is blooming.
I'm uncomfortable.
What else were we supposed to think?
So many of my notes are I'm uncomfortable.
All right.
And then okay, so it's the next morning and now Father and Son are doing an exercise with the truck montage together.
Oh, this is amazing, including some air arm wrestling exercises that don't exist.
Like they might as well be doing like, haptons and fingerwax.
Like they might as well be doing like, hat turns and finger wax.
So dumb.
Let's go over the secret arm wrestling here.
All right, so you're going to take your arm and you're going to put it.
Okay, got it, right?
All right, let's start at step one.
You're going to take your, that's your foot.
That is okay.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
This up the high top arm.
You mean the top arm.
Top arm.
Got it.
100% okay.
Put it down, a dick.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
And also this is where we're introducing the fact that as sliced alone drives along,
he also does a forearm exercise.
He's got weights that are set up in the back of his truck so he can work out well.
He's driving.
Yep. All these are the best. I wanted to see like the hat turn connected to weights too and like
a, like a finger waggle, bow flex where he's doing all the thing. It's all caught in a
wires somehow. Yeah, but he's got it rigged up to practice. Not really arm wrestling.
Guys are actually different muscle. He's going to do.
Yeah. So he's doing his forearm exercises. The kid is like giving him a shit again for
not being smart enough. You know, he's easily the kids like truckers are fucking stupid,
right?
He is very harsh in this scene. He's like, Dad, how do I put this? You, you're garbage person
who should be dead. In this period of history, where a robot can't do your job yet, but
you're just wasted carbon. Can I say that? You're wasted carbon. Maybe take an improv
class. I want to cut you up. So let's just really bad actor too. I'm saying, maybe dare you.
Brownlings, they do some 101 classes.
Is there a truck stop improv you could visit, maybe?
So so maybe yeah, but slide has it has it had enough at a certain point.
So he pulls over to I'm thinking give the kid an ass whooping because it is the 80s.
So does the kid. Yeah
Probably for good reason, but no, what he's gonna do is challenge Mike to drive his truck to prove that you can't drive a truck if you're stupid
Oh, I know how I wanted this to go so badly
So badly.
All right, turns out this is actually pretty easy. Okay, Mike, we'll get it.
Because, you know, this motor vehicle, that's it.
The bullet I was making was pretty much figured it out.
It's just two pedals.
So, you know, managed to crack the code.
All right, Mike.
On your face.
Oh. Try driving truck. The kids like all right, well, I mean, you realize you're still dumb if I can't drive it
like I may or may be able to drive it. I mean, and honestly, the fact that you just put a 12-year-old
behind the wheel of a 16-wheeler, that's that's proof of my point about you being stupid that like you're you're you're really arguing for me at this point.
I wanted to just drive off a cliff at this point. They're like driving
through like the mountains of Colorado. I was like, Oh, come on. He's got to drive off
a cliff and then like, Stallone catches the truck's arm, like cliff hanger for a second
and then dies and the movie's over. Yeah, but then you'd have to have a plot. There
would be a plot at that point. It would be about a kid driving a truck off a cliff. Then Stallone does the finger waggle and pulls the truck all the way
back up. There you go. There you go. And here's the weird thing about this scene. This scene
forgets what it is a third of the way through, right? It's the dad shows the son of
thing or two about his job scene. And he succeeds at driving which disproves Silvesta
Stallone's point and they're just bonding.
It's just like, yeah, and it's like, wait, what were we doing?
Yeah, right.
Well, it's the point of this scene.
We're killing time till 90 minutes is what we're doing.
Sligh, we're killing time till 90 minutes.
All right.
So meanwhile, while they're having fun driving the truck together, Robert Lozius is still plotting.
Nobody cares.
Arm wrestling.
That's all I wanted for so long in this movie, just arm wrestling.
And then that happens.
Well, but then, yeah, it's not even more interesting than what we were all really not allowed
to root for.
No.
All right.
So Mike and Slayer and another shit diner, and this is the scene where Slay decides
that 90% of arm wrestling is genetic, so he's going to challenge the bully kid at the
pinball machine to arm wrestle his son to prove to Mike that Mike is a good arm wrestler.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's all in your head.
I would say this was a weird turn, but I honestly don't know what a normal turn would
have been at this point in the movie, right?
Yeah, that's the thing is that you're constantly when you're analyzing this movie, you're like,
that's ridiculous.
The, no, that's the right move in the movie.
This is following the flow.
The trajectory was hustle a child for money here. Absolutely.
Yeah, varying yourself down onto the leg lamp from a Christmas story.
We really have to put this down here to connect our next button.
Yeah, I get it. Okay.
So the kid takes the challenge and and Stallone gives him 10 to one odds. 10, 10 of sliced
alone dollars to one of the kids dollars. So you'll feel a little bit better
about sliced-alone hustling a nine-year-old out of money.
Yeah.
And this kid is terrifying. The kid that he picks to hustle. He's like, he's got like
bubonic plague all over him, just boy, everywhere. And he's like, imagine the Cacad JV team. That's, that's this.
Like if you googled denim orphan sweep the leg, this, this kid pops up.
So yeah, so, and, and so the kid takes the bet, but it's best two out of three, right?
That's very important because Mike loses round one and then he runs away like a
was. But sly of course it won't give up on him. So he's chases him down in the parking
lot and gives him a piano solo pep talk. But again, the pep talk isn't like again, this
all fits standard movie tropes, except it's insane. Arm wrestling isn't mental. It's about whether your arm is stronger than another
person's arm almost entirely. Yes. Uh-huh. Right. But he gives them a speech like it's
you lost because you aren't mentally tough or physics. It's one of the two that I know
is. Did you waggle the fingers or the kid had a longer arm and more strength than you
was one of those things, but yeah,
but he convinces him to at least go back in there and lose like a winner. That's not a thing
that you lose like a loser just by definition. So they go back in there might get back on
that horse and because of this quality of the pep talk, now he can win it arm wrestling.
Okay. I was bored at this point. So I had an idea when I run a past you guys,
we remake over the top, but with a fully adult cast and it's about people who try to fit
bigger and bigger things up their butts.
I think you can just put big things up your butt, whether you are making a move or not,
Eli, I'm, I'm, are you willing to call this remake of over the top or not? That's over the bottom. I'm in Eli. Yes. Thank you. Thank you.
Patreon.com forward slash over the bottom. Actually, that's probably already a Patreon for
someone. Yeah. I'm probably don't know. Yeah. Don't, don't, don't click that. You know
what? Click through that guy. Someone He's making sexy foxes. Let
him.
All right. But now Mike has a winning attitude. So he wins the second round and you know,
he doesn't want the, the other kids to think he's a worse anymore. So he turns around
and hugs his dad real big. That'll impress him. And then it's round three and he wins again and the kid has to give him money.
Yeah.
And Stallone's like, all right, get your money, kid.
And kid's like, money, please, and he puts his hand out.
And then the rival kid pulls out the exact amount of money from the bet that was right in
his pocket.
It was very convenient.
Yeah.
Just absolutely right there.
So, yeah.
So now Mike goes out to call his mom and tell him all about the driving
a semi truck and hustling bullies for money at dirt floor bars that he's been doing with
his dad. And this mom is doing her absolute best not to be horrified. She's like, Mike's
like, yeah, I drove a truck and dad paired me up to fight an adult and she's like, yep, that is what I wanted out of this.
Uh, can I talk to your dad real quick?
Hey, hey, don't abandon our son again.
Okay.
I don't know.
Really? Five bucks. Oh, I don't know. I don't know.
Really.
Five bucks.
And also by way, we should point out that mom is like 40% dead or every time we see, she's
dying at the rate of the guy who chose poorly right now, right?
She is Jack Skellington by the last thing.
Exactly.
Exactly.
All right.
You know, so she, yeah, she pleads with Sylvester Stallone to try to get along with her cartoonishly
villainous father.
And right as she's doing that in the background, well, she's, she's like one last thing.
Don't let Mike get kidnapped or anything.
That's really important to me.
And he's being kidnapped.
Yeah.
The base of what happens.
Yeah.
No, fucking Stallona's standing in the phone booth going like, don't worry, I'll keep
my eyes on him.
Nothing bad.
I'll happen.
Oh, I got to go.
He's getting kidnapped.
Well, second, you're going to laugh when you hear this.
I'm going to chase him down in my semi truck right now.
Yeah, they got, they have great acceleration.
They're going to take me, they'll take me like 30 minutes to go through the gears, double
clutch to get up to 20 miles an hour.
Stay on the phone with me while I do this.
And so he runs out to his truck, but of course, one of the goons stayed behind to beat him
up before he could get to his truck.
That's okay.
He has the singular offensive move that white guys had in the
eighties that would be the telegraphed right hook.
So right dammit.
He knocks that guy out and gets to his truck.
Yeah.
And by the way, just like again pulling the camera back, the plot at this point is that
Robert Lozia, Mike's grandfather, sent his goons to this truck stop diner in the middle of nowhere to kidnap
his grandson back from from so when it comes to child custody ownership is nine tenths
of the law as all okay.
Yeah.
The one you've had the kid for a while you have squatters rights.
Fly hasn't licked him yet.
Exactly.
So, well, I don't know that he didn't really.
I'll be honest with you.
The way this movie's going, I'm not willing to like commit to the idea that he has
to rule down his shoulder aggressively.
That's close.
All right.
So we have this little mini 80s chase scene, kind of, you know, middling budget
chasing that ends when sliced alone decides to smash into the car his son is in with
his semi truck.
Yes.
That's a great idea to get your kid back.
He gets it back and I wanted to be like, oh, sorry about rem and that vehicle you were
in with the heaviest possible land vehicle
Are you 100% fine. Yeah, you're totally fine. Okay. Yeah, it's survived. You can't have them. No one can attitude here
We'll move on from this and never address it again. Well, not only that yes, they'll just leave the scene of that accident. Yeah, exactly
They'll just drive away. All right. So now we're
back to Robert Lozia. He's got to bring in the big lawyers now since the goons weren't able to pull
off this kid napping. Yeah. And the news from Lozia's lawyer is like, Hey, man, I know you're the
grandpa and you like raised him and spent millions dollars
on him, but you can't just steal a child from his dad ever. There's no, there's no doing
that.
There's an amazing line here where he says, we searched a hundred years of cases of stealing
children. You were, you were thinking that would, you fight like. Lozio's basically like, hey, can you go, can you back and run those numbers again?
And it was like, what?
No, it's, you can't just steal it.
You want me to check for a kid stealing loophole in the back.
Yep, maybe there's something wrong.
And that's exactly what he wants.
I've been using Donald Trump's lawyer.
Do we have anything related to the dreads that decision? This is a Christian movie. That actually might have the loophole that
we're talking about in it. Thank you. Anything. Yeah. Alright. So meanwhile, okay, so Mike
and Slire arm wrestling, well, they drive. He sure does get along with his dad now. And
this is where the movie turns and is like, this is about the arm wrestling tournament
in Vegas now.
In case you were wondering, or we'll be eventually.
Yeah, don't forget there will be an arm wrestling tournament in Vegas that that will
be that's how you'll know the movies over is when that ends.
And is it me or did this scene feel improvised?
Like he's like, so what do you want to do with all that money? He's like well
I like to buy a company and you know do
Work at it
What do I currently do
Commerce company would do commerce
One also yeah, you want to talk about feeling improvised. The kid goes at one point, he's like, hey, why did you leave me?
And sliced弄, I was like, oh, you know, I can't really tell you all about that quite
yet in the script, but he never will.
Never.
We will literally never find out.
And you know what?
Congratulations over the top.
You're the movie that was finally like, hey, we don't need a fucking backstory.
We're an arm wrestling movie.
No one is going to walk out of this arm wrestling movie disappointed. No one's going to be like, I came for an arm wrestling movie with a well thought out plot, damn it. I was just saying,
I feel like more than one person walked out disappointed. I'm not going to, I feel like that
statement was a little more absolute than you intended it to be but I get your point. Like if some points slow, I was like, all right, well,
what's my motivation? And they're like, I don't know, man, just that's it. That's what he's
talking about. When, when, if you ever needed more motivation than the noise I just made,
that's why you said, capture that one time you made a good movie. Oh, no, I meant like in the movie. Oh, it's made more than one good movie, fuck it.
I really want to know what you think the other good movie is now.
Which was not Rocky.
There's several Rockies that are great.
Yeah, there's the Rockies. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, Blood was really good. First blood part two is fun. You're making up movies.
You don't have to do that.
If you didn't have any answers, you didn't have to make one.
And those are on by the way,
those are with the exception of first blood,
those were all still on scripts that I just named too.
Oh no, no, he didn't write coplan, never mind, never mind.
Bullet to the head.
Are you serious?
Stop for my mononious shoot.
Okay, look, I've been disproven.
You had me in bullet to the head.
Thank you. I've said just proven you had me in full into the head.
I've said that so much this week.
You know when he lies been traveling.
If you listen to the Patreon extra on this week's scathing, that's going to be extra funny. It's a Moroccan airport. Don't worry about it. It's fine. I can't go back.
What was he going go Morocco anyway?
You flew through Casablanca?
I sure did.
We'll get to it.
Okay.
And then okay, so they go to the hospital to see dying mom.
And there's this awkward moment where it's like,
ooh, see she's dead mom now.
So,
it's the best.
The way these doctors handle it, she goes, oh, you're here to see her.
Yeah, let me get you right to her real quick.
Um, let's get the doctor.
He's just going to, she's doing, I'm not allowed to say dead, but she's going to get the
doctor.
I'm going to get a doctor. I'm gonna get the doctor.
Doctor, the Ed Lady Days,
the dead lady's husband is here.
I don't know how to do that.
Because we're in the back.
We don't have to do the big Latin.
So cool.
We're shame.
But luckily for her, the doctor is literally 14 inches away
from her.
So she goes and gets the doctor.
She's like, I'm sure you can hear the conversation. I'm having. I don't know why you made me walk
over here. So he goes over there to tell sliced alone that the the mom's dead. And honestly,
like I would have been like on if that guy came to tell me that my wife hadn't made it
through the operation, I would have been like, I'm sorry, can you shave off that silly
ass mustache and tell me again again so I can react appropriately?
Well, and again, he, this is 1980s, Dr.
and I have had people at Jiffyloob speak with more kindness and bedside memories.
I'm afraid you down one broad, so I'm not feeling excuse me.
I gotta go smoke while operating.
I'm Walla Weegee at age 75.
Sorry about you dead, whatever.
You wife, I don't know. Well, you can 75. Sorry about you dead, whatever.
You wife, I don't know.
Well, you can abandon her now, I guess, right?
So upshot, right?
Is your backstory?
Hey, if this is what you can really say, she abandoned you, if you want to, uh, pull
character, you're here.
You're here.
She's not.
You want to arm wrestle?
Yes, Mike runs off.
Um, and, you know, dad catches music.
It's your fault.
I didn't get to see by dying mom before she was my already dead mom because you drove
a truck around for three damn days. And I'm like, that's a good point, actually. The mom
went with a clock ticking there. You really should have got the kids straight there. You
asshole. Okay, maybe going to see the world's largest bundle of string wasn't the best
thing. I'm sorry. 2020, kid best. And that's 20, 20,
kid. That's that's 20.
What? Fuck you.
I'm running into traffic.
I assume there was going to be a lot of bigger.
So, okay, but this is one of my favorite moments in the whole
fucking movie. Mike runs off and catches a cap.
A taxi picks up a 12 year old boy and drives off before he could
have possibly given him an address or anything
while that boys father is running after him and calling his name
the taxi driver rapes mic right that's the next scene uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh point out that Mike manages to travel incredibly long distances with no money and no questions
asked in this film. This cab is just the first time that happens.
Yeah, no, he'll do it again and too much greater degrees. All right. So we cut to the funeral
from mom, sliced alone. I don't know what he's supposed to be doing here. I guess he's
having his own little funeral and everyone else can go fuck themselves.
Right, middle of the funeral, he just walks up
from nowhere, put some flowers on, walks away.
They stop like a record scratches as he walks up.
And he shows up like he's 10 minutes late
to a shift at work.
Yeah, that's like the feel of it.
He's just like, hey, Pastor, sorry to interrupt your funeral speech.
Can I get the manager card so I can punch in late?
I'm really quick.
I got sad already.
He didn't have a dress tank top he could wear to the funeral.
He's wearing-
At least you're one, you're a suspender's man.
He's wearing the jeans, but yeah, no suspenders, tacky. Exactly. And then, okay, so he gets done moping and he drives up to grandpa's
mansion, right? He's going to, he comes up to see the kid. But the security guards tell
him, hey, fuck off. We're keeping the kid. You don't have, you don't even have a receipt.
I love that the first guy's answer is, can I see your pass? Like they don't have you don't even have a receipt. I love that the first guy's answer is can I see your pass like they don't know who the guy in the semi truck is like. Oh,
Are you a different person? No, you're the one who's here for the kid. Okay. Yeah, I just right felt I didn't want to
Is I was guarding a military school earlier and this guy came in and he was like, oh, I'm here for a whole thing. I don't want to get into it. Yeah. So they tell him to leave. So he starts to back away. But then he's like, you
know what? I'm going to drive my truck through the gate, smash through a car, and a fountain,
and a house because this is the best way to get my kid back. Because I want to make sure
there's no chance
they would ever give me custody of my,
what was his plan?
You think?
I have no idea.
He's a good guy terrorist.
Just smash him through all.
He's like custody battle, great action scene.
We're gonna name this.
And this will never matter, right? There will be a scene where they're
like, Hey, you might get in trouble for that. Nope, not at all. No. No. So, okay. So he
drives into the, to the mansion and he runs on his going, Mike, Mike and Robert Losea
comes out now. I got to say, even in this stupid fucking movie Robert Lozha brings it.
He's right.
Nobody gets mad like Robert fucking Lozha.
I think they actually did this at Robert Lozha's house.
Like he was like, I'm not doing any more fucking scenes.
And then they just drove a semi in, had Mike run upstairs.
Oh, come find, keep it rolling.
I'm ready. I bet
those are Robert Lozius real minions in real life too. That's right. If he has four dudes
in weird 80s suits following him everywhere all the time to this day. Yeah. And also, okay,
so about two minutes after he smashes through the mansion, the cop show up. And yeah, sure,
they show up quick with its mansion.
But I don't feel like if the sound effects are to be believed, they brought a helicopter
with them too.
Yes.
There were helicopters on the scene within 15 seconds.
Yes.
He smashed it through the wall.
Him and Robert Lose a yellow each other for literally 15 seconds.
And we hear choppers like I wanted to see those guys, like the chopper
guys parked 20 feet out of the frame being like, okay, something just happened with that
truck and they threw the wall of that house. Well, let's fire up the choppers and we're
here. Yeah, exactly. Right. Right. So yeah, now we hear the choppers. We don't see the
choppers. They didn't have the budget for the physical choppers.
They had the budget for the sound effects, but at any rate.
So slide gets arrested by the SWAT team.
And this makes Mike very, very unhappy.
Yep.
And now he's gonna go to,
the guy who checks my dreams for continuity errors
is confused at this point, right?
So I think we need to take a quick break.
But first, let me give Ack three of the hard sell.
Will Slytherters to loan, I don't arm wrestle, somebody based on the poster, I guess.
Will him and the kid find themselves eating two sides of the same piece of spaghetti before
this is over?
Yes.
Did I ever think I could miss David AR white this much?
Find out the answers to these questions and more when we return for the over the top conclusion of
over the top
Slice truly get in here. Oh, hey, mr. Goulog. What do you think of the script with the new changes? It's
It's the gayest thing I've ever seen. Wait, what?
Did it hold out?
I stick, it's the gayest thing I've ever seen.
Aw, come on, Mr. Go Long.
I know it's 1987, but you did it.
No, no, no, not in a bad way.
It's simply the most homosexual thing I've ever seen.
It's the most expressive script of man on man
and also kind of man on boy love I've ever seen.
Oh, um, that's, that's problematic.
Okay.
And I produced the apple, the apple.
I saw all man fit his whole arm inside.
Okay, Mr. Glock, Mr. Glock, we get it.
You don't like the script, okay?
No, no, I love it. And and I'm gonna produce and direct it.
Oh, well then.
Cool.
Fantastic.
I'm also doing Master in the Universe. This is kind of my thing.
This worked out great.
What?
And we're back for more of this shit and we're gonna rejoin sliced alone in prison for all the
Obvious have to go to prison now stuff that he just did before the break
And again, this is over the top so he's in a
sweaty
Prison full of men. I've watched gay porn that is less gay than this movie
I just want to throw that out there and I really, really don't mean that
in the derogatory sense.
I'm being in the sense of loving other men
and wanting dicks in butts and butts in dicks.
I've never seen anything more intensely dedicated to it.
I just want to throw that out there.
Also, I feel like they could have used the jail thing here
for some arm wrestling plot, right?
Ooh.
Like, I feel like that's something that they would do in jail maybe is have arm wrestling plot, right? Ooh. Like, you could have, I feel like that's something that they would do in jail.
Maybe is have arm wrestling tournaments and he could have like learned a few techniques
there and like a character could have been met.
Two finger Joe, the famous arm wrestling champion.
Exactly.
We're so much better at writing over the top than the people who wrote over the top.
No kidding.
Yeah.
Where's two finger Joe's movie?
Let's make that.
But it's, but instead of any of that, instead
of this having any bearing on the plot whatsoever, when we start in the prison, he's getting out,
right? Robert Lozius Secretary is there to tell him that like Robert Lozius dropped the
charges of Sly promises to leave the state and never come back. Okay. Question for Andrew,
actually, but you guys might know, are you allowed to
do any of that? Yes. Can you just, can charges be dropped of smashing into the side of a house
with a truck? Could like, does the house owner get to drop that? Okay. Heath, I said I was going
to tell what happened in Morocco on scale. You just gave God in me. You got to make the audience wait. Man, I'm not.
I'm certain that, yes, you can drop the charges against somebody destroying your property
if you choose to.
And the state still won't be like, okay, but you smashed into a house with the truck with people.
No, like, I mean, I could smash into my house with a truck if I owned it.
That's perfectly legal.
Is it?
I gotta assume it is.
Like, what kind of fuck is this not America?
I can't smash it in my own house with a fucking truck now.
I have a new idea for the pajama party.
I'm excited.
We're getting insurance on that air being big.
I owns his house.
We can do that with Eli's house.
Hi.
If we make to $2,000 on Patreon, we will destroy my house. Hi. And we make to $2,000 on Patreon.
We will destroy my house.
Oh, and we will teach Eli to drive a 16-wheeler truck.
Absolutely.
And then drive it into the side of his own house.
I would love because Eli's house is way up on a steep hill.
I would love to see him try and do that.
That would be amazing.
These are all good ideas.
We're all coming up with good ideas here. all better than no for the top. All right. So, so sliced alone
is like talking to the secretary. He's like, I don't know. I would like to not have to
charges against me and not be in jail for several years. But I also really like my kid. So
the secretary brings the kid and he's like, well, you know, what we brought a special
guest. And the kid comes in and says, yeah, no, dad, go.
Just, just fucking go.
You should leave.
You're, you spent two afternoons with me and those were kind of fun, but then you lost
me the opportunity to say goodbye to my dead mother, which I'm going to be honest with
you.
Cancels out the fun, stake and arm wrestling after.
Even, even before you smash into the house that I'm in with a semi truck.
Yes.
You've struck two things that I'm in with a semi truck just in this, in this long weekend
three days.
Two out of the three days, we have known each other.
You have struck something I'm in with the heaviest land vehicle.
Still on throws a little truck through the glass.
Okay.
Okay.
Three out of three.
There we go.
Also, you're in jail right now.
So, yeah, not the best dad.
I mean, maybe if you were to win some sort of manly tournament, I could get back on board
with you.
But, yes, I will drop out of school and ride in a truck with you for the rest of my life.
But unless that happens, I don't know what to tell you. a truck with you for the rest of my life, but unless that happens
I don't know what to tell you. I really can't see see that happening now
I wanted so badly for it to pan over to the guy in the next visiting booth to just be like hey
The guy next to me is breaking up with his son. Can I get a different booth?
Yeah, very awkward. Well, and then while he's breaking up with his son, here's one of his actual lines, Mike
I want to give you what's inside of me
Right, so yeah, but eventually Slia agrees not to be Mike's dad anymore
And and now he's heading to Nevada because that's where act three is right
He's going to the the big arm wrestling tournament in Vegas
Meanwhile, Mike's at home looking for all those birthday cards.
His dad sent him, right?
That he never got.
Wanted him to find Dildos and SNM gears so badly.
I wanted him to come across some drugs and that turns out to be what he was looking for.
He's like, score, got grandpa's pills.
Finally.
Jesus.
They give you 40 Xanax.
I hope he wears them. The A fox wrong with you, Grandpa.
I'm an infant fetinal.
So, and then we have the same where Slice sells his trusty semi-truck for $7,000.
He's going to bet it all on himself at the big tournament.
Yeah, but he keeps the silver hawk on the hood, his little hood ornament.
Mm-hmm.
That's his, his last name.
He's like, yeah, I'll take, I'll take seven grand for the truck.
I'm keeping the thing.
And then right behind him, immediately, there's a sign that's like arm wrestling championship.
Entry fee $7,000 and one silver hawk.
And it's like, all right.
Wanted so badly for the sign to be like, entry fee $7,045.
Oh, really?
That's crazy.
I will blow you for $45.
Yes.
Oh, okay.
So meanwhile, the kid finds all the letters that that Sylvester Stallone sent, which means
by the way, Graham has been intercepting these letters and saving them.
Yeah.
Why eventually going to give him a scrapbook at the funeral of his dad.
I don't know.
Yeah.
We need to do the do of Robert Lozger making the plan.
Just like, all right, gentlemen, get around.
I've obstructed
the lettuce from my son-in-law to my grandson while my daughter dies. I will allow them to
visit, but I will kidnap him halfway through to prevent him from witnessing his father winning
a arm wrestling tournament because reasons. Yeah. And now we wait. Yeah, don't get in a bush.
So sliced alone, that's all that $7,000 on himself at 20 to one odds, guys.
Yeah, weird little moment too.
He walks up to a sports book in a major Las Vegas casino.
And he's like, what are the odds on Lincoln Hawk winning this tournament?
And the guy at the book is like, he turns around.
And he's like, Hey, Mary, you know the odds of everything ever offhand.
What's that?
She's like, it's Lincoln Hawk is 21, it's 21.
And so that's $7,000 on himself.
So the stakes of the movie are exactly 140 grams.
Well, there's also a quarter of a million for wind of the tournament or a quarter million
dollar truck plus $100,000. So, right.
So, okay. So now we got to Mike though, he's empowered by the letters that he found
or whatever. So now he's sneaking out of the mansion to go to Vegas. Yep, which
begins with him stealing his grandpa's truck. Now I will say he's going to like basically
hijack ever-silly or vehicles between here and Vegas. Right. If he showed up on a jet
pack or something, that wouldn't be like outside of the realm of possibility that they sort of
open with the first couple.
Based on this movie, the only conclusion I can reach is that Mike is invisible to everyone
except Robert Lozia and Slime Slown.
Well, it also, okay, so as if it wasn't dumb enough to have the semi doing the chasing
earlier, now the kid drives off, they go to chase him down in a limbo.
That's a great chase vehicle.
Just wanted one guy dragging a boat with the other guy behind it.
Come on, we got to get that kid.
And of course, I'm writing in my notes.
I'm like, wait, is the kid going to drive Deegas, but it's so much dumber than that.
Nope. Just walks onto an airplane. He just drives to the airport and buys himself a ticket
to Vegas. Does he buy a ticket? I don't or yes, sneaks aboard some clever, who they
all knows. Pre 9-11 people, you could just walk onto a plane. They'd figure it out when
you got there. Just drags his up as a suitcase and walks down the jail. Yeah. So okay. So now it's time
for the arm wrestling world champion to start. Now I apologize if you went into this
assuming there would be no math. Yeah. This is a double elimination tournament, which the announcer breaks down in like Eli needs to
know this levels of detail, right?
Like, I appreciated this.
An Eli, a sports thing to Eli.
All right.
So ladies and gentlemen, just one more reminder, you are allowed to lose twice.
That is why it is a double elimination tournament.
So when John loses, it is not the end of the movie.
Throw that out there one more time. Please do not get up and leave the movie when he loses.
Uh, question and answer guy question. Yeah. Uh, you said double elimination tournament just now.
Is that what you said? Means you get to lose three times and you're out. It's three times.
No. So two times apparently they didn't quite
break it down to Eli. All times a lady. The words mean what they normally mean. Roxanne.
Roxanne. Got it. Sorry. withdrawn. So now, of course, there are also women arm wrestling
so that you know, this is not a sexist competition. Despite the outfits that the scorecard girls
are wearing, this is, this is inclusive.
Yeah.
And who is the announcer talking to?
Like, still on walks in just like,
remember, you recently signed away your fatherhood.
This tournament is pretty much your only way out of that.
So are you listening?
So Vester still, like, he's just,
he's talking to the character to catch him up. I don't know
I want to start explaining other sideline plots that we hadn't been watching
Also if you're a long-lost brother just told you that if you could win this arm wrestling tournament
He'll forgive you for killing his wife
You can do that also if you're just a guy who likes to arm wrestle bull. How's it going?
It's for you if you're here a guy who likes to arm wrestle, bull, how's it going? It's for you.
If you're here for the over sweating convention, they're having a mixer at four
30 in the rose room.
So like a schwitzer.
Am I right?
So I one more time, this is a double elimination,
I mean, the number two is the second positive integer to get invented.
It's actually, it's the only even prime number, the number two.
It's another thing about two.
And we should point out that it's not just that they explain double elimination in detail.
They do it again and again and again, like every three minutes for the rest of the film. As though they knew how little pay attention I was paying to this movie.
If you read the script of this movie, the notes above all of these lines are,
someone was probably doing a bump, explain it again.
Yeah.
All right.
So so now we see Robert Losey, he's showing up in Vegas in his private jet.
And first I thought the kids stole the private jet and flew it to Vegas, but don't worry,
the kid just flew commercial so they kept it realistic.
Oh, why not so badly for the like the whole flight process of the kid, right?
The woman's like, sir, we're going to keep everyone's seat while the fast and seat belt
light is on.
I'm trying to get my day with sir. All right.
Going through customs.
And of course, while that's going on, we're getting like the arm wrestling montage, just
to remind you how uninteresting to look at that is.
Yeah.
Shouldn't they do left arm and right arm both?
I feel like that should be a thing.
That strikes high as the only fair way to do it.
Because yeah, I mean, there's lefties and they would actually be strong.
I mean, still owns a lefty, isn't he?
Yeah, yeah, you're right, yes.
But just, hey, listener, remember, if you ever doubt yourself, someone asked this cinematographer
for a quote, badass arm wrestling montage and he fucking delivered it. You can do anything.
All right. So now it's time for the semi finals, which are start exactly one airplane trip from
that mansion from the start of the of the tournament, apparently, because you know, it's just as
from the start of the of the tournament, apparently, because, you know, it's just as, uh, as Mike's getting into town. Unfortunately for Mike, though, the bad guys are already on the
jet way waiting for him. So he has to give him the slip by sliding out into the airport
runway and getting away home alone style because he is invisible. My head can and makes sense.
Well, to be fair, you could run around the airport
like this all you wanted in the 80s.
It was kind of fun.
It was like a jungle gym.
Now, gentlemen, question for both of you.
What do you feel like the movie was lacking at this point?
Incorrect.
The answer is face-to-face interviews
with the characters of the movie, like-world. Yeah, real-world
Confessionals. God, it's like Christopher Guest movies all of a sudden. They're just like best-in-show characters. It's amazing.
So good. This is where we meet grizzly and mad dog, et cetera. Yep, we meet characters we've never met before
in one-on-one face-to-camera interviews
where they explain their motivations for arm wrestling.
And I've gotta say, I've seen better shit talk on cake wars.
These guys are fucking awful.
A big fan of trucks.
It's a nice truck behind me. I like all different. It's the best because it's
shit talk without swearing for some reason. So it's like, my body is an engine. I'm a fire
plug. I'm going to be honest. I don't know what the word fire plug means. That's like
it. It's not a fire hydrant. It's not a fire hydrant? That doesn't make not a, that's not intimidating.
Okay.
Give me out.
I'm a fire plug.
If you would open it at someone very quickly without that, all right, imagine you're tied
to a chair on its side.
Get started over.
I am covered in sweat.
I love to because I get near.
We have eight semi-finals that we're gonna get that we're gonna introduce and all of them are like this is grizzly and grizzly
is like I want tears fucking arm off and then we finally get to slide the end and his
shit talk is like if I wrestle good enough my son will love me again. You want to
meet a growl? I'm sorry I can grow Oh, I wanted so badly for just one of the arm wrestlers to totally break the cycle
because they're all like, I'll rip your arm off, kill him.
I'll destroy him and I just wanted one guy to be like, I'm just here to represent the
Mormon church.
I'm having such a good time.
I've met so many wonderful people.
Well, I'm not arm wrestling. Uh, I like a day coupage.
Uh, fun craft thing that I do.
So you, you get the little shapes in you, you glue them.
All right.
So, so like Mike is still trying to get through the, uh, the airport, right?
But luckily for him, the arm wrestling competition is on every single television in the world
right now.
So he can keep up with what's going on.
Damn right.
It is.
And then sliced alone loses his first match in the semi finals.
Don't worry, guys.
Don't worry.
I don't know if we've mentioned this is a double elimination.
Turn the movie like comes and visits you at home and is like,
I double, double,
elimination.
Back down, sit back down, sit back down.
Come on.
So as we lose is the first match and then Robert Lozier's,
uh, uh, minion shows up and says, eh, Robertzzy is now in Vegas and would like to talk to you.
So he goes up to meet Robert Lozzy for some reason.
I feel like you could just say, no, I'm in the middle of a competition right now.
I'm one of the eight semi finalists because we're dumb.
Yeah, right.
Hell the fuck.
Well, there are four finalists too.
I don't know what the hell this is.
Yeah.
But yeah, so he goes to meet Robert Lozion.
Robert Lozion, this is such a weird fucking scene, right?
Because they already did the, you know, I'll drop the charges if you leave the state, never
come back.
So but now Robert Lozion's doing that again, even though he's already agreed and Sly is
telling him no.
Not only is he doing that again, he's offering more than he will win if he wins the tournament
and the same truck that he will win.
Yes, there is absolutely no reason for Sly not to take this offer.
Yeah, and he doesn't even ask for anything in return.
No, that's the thing.
Lozha comes up to him and says, look, I bought you a semi truck and here's a check for
a half a million dollars.
Now get out of that kid's life.
He's already agreed to give it out of the kid's life.
So like the obvious thing to do would be, well, thanks.
I'm going to go win this competition now and maybe I'll have two trucks, but no, because
it's more dramatic for him to crumble up the check and stick it in Robert Lozia's pocket.
That's what he does.
Even if it makes no fucking sense. It's like this movie is made out of pieces of other action movies.
Right?
Like, like, this is Cutting Room floor of a couple of the worst Rockies and yeah, something.
Yeah, so he goes to leave the goon tries to stop and but he kicks the goons ass because
he's so vassal alone, damn it.
That's the one throws him through the door of this hotel suite.
They're out on the deck, right?
And he throws him through the door, but somehow the entire face of the building explodes
right at this point.
Just the whole thing lights on fire.
It's nuts.
Tower seven falls down. Yeah.
That's
That's
That's
So now we're back at the tournament was you can tell because the announcer is explaining
how double elimination works again. I shit you not. They literally explain this like
nine or ten times at the end of this. They do not trust their audience to wrap their
heads around that concept.
It feels like they had a test screening
and Stallone like lost for that first time
and everybody was like,
and started like a stampede and ran out
that like some little mall where they were showing this.
They added 19 reminders about double.
I feel like if they were that nervous,
they could have just said it was single elimination, right?
And we could just cut him losing it, adds nothing to the plug.
No, we're keeping every inch of film and it's moving.
Clearly, but I love the announcer again.
He's just like for everybody who is watching Stallone, yell at Robert Lozio, welcome back
to our double elimination.
It's double elimination.
Two.
All right. to our double eliminations. It's double elimination. Two.
All right.
So now he's kind of wrestle grizzly, the guy who beat him just before.
Grizzly has a little opening bit he does here.
He says, Krickman from wrong on this, he says, I'm going to go through you like oil through
a funnel.
And then he places a funnel in his mouth and drinks a container
of motor oil. Um, so yes, almost exactly. Almost. But he actually says, I'm going through
you like gas through a funnel. He will actually goes into a funnel. So that would have made
more sense. Yeah. Um, he uses neither gasoline nor a funnel nor a funnel to make his little point. No. I
wanted Sloan to be like, okay, well, it's not a funnel, nor is it gasoline. You're just
drinking oil through a knot funnel, through a pour spout. But what did you even mean by
that? Like gas through a funnel, so like, kind of slowly,
we're gonna have a viscous unrest from right now.
You gotta wonder what the other side of the scene feels like.
I'm gonna go through you like oil through a funnel.
I'm sorry, what? Fuddle. Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom and way more importantly, you just drank poison. Oil is poison?
Are you sure?
Yeah, man. Oil is poison.
And you just drank a bunch to illustrate
a non-existent metaphor.
So you need to go ahead and go to the hospital
right now.
Before or after we are arrested?
I'd say before. I'd say right now.
I don't feel real good.
Yeah, well, you drank a bunch of poison.
I mean, he's a good guy.
Yeah, I want to know what idea is
Grizzly rejected along the way.
He's like, I'm gonna go through you like Chinese.
No, I would have to shit, then, no, that would be stupid.
I'm gonna go through you like food through Eli.
That's pretty good.
He's gonna be blood at the end.
So you exactly you get it.
So okay, so he's about to be fierce.
So he beats you, Chris Lee at the arm wrestling mics in a cab, but will he make it in time for the finals?
Yes.
Yeah, he will.
He will.
Slay also arm wrestles mad dog.
Mad dog yells a lot, but that doesn't, uh, it's not quite enough for him to win.
And I had a question at this point in the movie because there is no plot.
Are arm wrestling and trucking somehow connected because now in the one on one interviews, everyone
seems to also talk about trucking like they are.
Do we know, is this a relationship?
I think there's like a trucker's arm wrestling,
like I think there are truckers arm wrestling tournaments,
actually.
May I join us?
No, for several reasons, no.
Yeah.
Too fast.
But yeah, there's a trucker's division, I think.
Yeah, yeah.
Stallone's in the trucker's division is what we learn later.
And I think that's true in real life.
So arm wrestling, the sport, the Olympic sport is divided up according to occupation.
So it's weight classes plus truckers or non truckers.
So trucking is a different category of arm wrestling. Yes. So there's there's people
who drive trucks, they have their arm wrestling and then there's everybody else. Everybody else.
All right. All right. Asked and answered truckers. All right. Are other sports like that?
You know what? I'll Google it. I don't make you do my work for me.
I like that. You know what, I'll Google it.
I don't make you do my work for me.
Okay.
All right.
So it's time to go to the,
oh, I love the Alka Seltzer product placement here.
I think because the guy who just drank the oil
has to take some Alka Seltzer.
So like, you basically expect them to turn to the camera
and go like, when I drink petroleum
to intimidate my enemies, I prefer Alka Seltzer.
So, okay, now it's time to meet the four finalists,
not really finalists, guys, that, okay, anyway. And we should point out, like, there are four guys here,
sliced alone looks like a Holocaust survivor
compared to these guys, they are so fucking much bigger than him.
It's silly.
Oh, it's, it is comic his size relation and these real giant dudes trying to pretend that
they're a little bit sliced alone.
It doesn't work like the bull for the final match spoiler alert.
He might be wrestling bull in a second.
He can't get, because his arm is so fucking huge. He can't get his arm backwards by sliced tiny little baby finger in my comparison
arm. He's got to like back up and move away. They got to do like one of those opening
table shots like Alfred Hitchcock did. And by the way, so fucking Mike is still Kevin McAllistering his way through Vegas, you
know, slipping the goons here and there with his invisibility powers.
Yeah.
Also, he, uh, at one point, he's like crawling under the stands to get, I guess closer to
the front row.
But at one point, he just like crawls into the product placement 10th of the arm wrestling tournament.
And he's just like, oh, sorry. Wait, hold on. Are you telling me that Duracell batteries last
longer? I don't know. I don't have time. I'm going back to the tournament.
Maxia Duracell, great batteries. Go. All right. I'm good.
So Stallone and Bull, the main bad guy, they go on to the, the
actual finals. These are the finalists, guys. That's how this works. And, and so slide
wanders off to clear his head. And that's when Mike finds him. And now Mike has to give
him the same pep talk he gave Mike earlier. Like word for word. And again, basically, yeah, this is so boring and ridiculous.
Like I cannot describe how boring it is to have to watch him just be like, remember, Dad,
arm wrestling is 100% mental. We hope because that guy is literally 200 pounds heavier
than you. All right. So wrap it up. We're at 90 minutes and we're mostly out of cocaine. We're not totally out of cocaine, but we are mostly out of cocaine.
Make sure you tickle his thumb with your finger at the beginning. That seems to mess them
up. They do that a few times. What was that? At the beginning of, Sloan seems to do this
like, psych out move where he like, centrally caresses the other guys,
dumb on the way into the grip at the beginning,
is that part of the gotta get inside your opponent's head?
Okay.
It's a mental game after all.
It's like, they always say there's two mental games,
chess and arm wrestling.
Arm wrestling with stone.
Yep, yeah, chess also has a trucker and non trucker.
It does. Yeah.
Interesting.
They enough. So yeah, and what I love to is that Mike gives him this whole big peps talk
about how you can be bull. It's all in your head. You blah, blah, blah, blah. And then
he wraps it up with, but I don't care if you win or lose. It's like, come on, kid. It's
obvious that you care. Everything else that you said would, it wouldn't make sense.
You don't want to lose. How amazing would it be if he just left? He was like, Oh, you don't care if I would have
lose it. You know what? You're gripped by actually offered me $1 million. It's a little
wrinkly. The check, but they'll take it at the bank that you actually don't need a real
check, you know, as long as it's got the count number on it.
And okay. So now it's time for the final match. This has got approximately the draw of the Superbowl
half-time show. This arm wrestling tournament. Yeah, they bring in extra referees too. They bring in like
10 referees to like watch for foul balls and now feel I have no idea what the fuck that would mean.
Right.
All right, by the way, 45% of this movie's budget was sweat moppers. People following
these people around behind them, smopping up the snail trail of sweat that they were all
leaving clearly. And we get more of those like a little, you know, best in show office
cutaway type things, which I think that was my favorite part of the movie. These, these
little interviews where they're talking to the camera. One exact, exact line, I think that was my favorite part of the movie. These little interviews where they're talking to the camera. One exact, exact line.
I think this is from Bull, where he says,
he's got no shitting business on my arm wrestling table.
I enjoyed that.
I enjoyed the track.
It's great visual.
That's a really good visual.
Also, yeah, and during that direct address,
but that's also where Slie explains that turning around his hat is how he turns his arm wrestling magical powers on.
I turn my hat around and I'm a truck.
He, yes, yeah, exactly.
He says, I turn into a machine.
Also, uh, flower this chocolate cake is the thing I like to do in my side.
Also.
All right. So now it's time to remind everyone that it is impossible to make arm wrestling
interesting to look at for the finals and definitely impossible to make peak of a movie.
And everyone realizes it actors, viewers, directors, cinematographers at the exact same
time. You see Sylvester Salone in this actor bull
go, oh yeah, this is just like two guys grunting.
And the one who's winning is the one who's arm is for.
And, okay.
And the announcer guy has to deal with this too.
So he has to be like, oh, what a move by Bill, bowl early that. Okay, for those not familiar with the intricacy of the sport of arm wrestling,
bowl pushed really hard to his left, his left, like really hard.
My right. Let me explain. They're facing each other. So left and right are different for each
guy way. He was big. He's his right hand to his left. See that explains it. That's why he kept explaining what double elimination meant. He literally
had nothing else to talk about. Yes. It's like the untimed chest tournaments. Exactly.
But yeah, just to add to the suspense here at one point their hands slip. So now they have to
strap their hands together. And look, I know it's just a side note, and I'm sure arm wrestling is
actually a very manly thing, but there is something really wonderful about like this
totally manly masculine grunty, screaming movie, just involving several moments where it
was like, all right, now gently hold hands gently, gently.
No tickling.
So that's just alone.
You always do that.
Stop it.
Okay.
Sorry.
I won't do it again.
I won't do it again.
And then he goes over the, come on, come on.
And then he goes over the top and he wins.
Yep.
Well, he wins.
But the movie literally forgot about the 85 times they mentioned double eliminated.
Yes, because Bull is not double eliminated. No. And Bull has not lost yet. And it's over.
He won the tournament. That's it. That's the old fucking thing. Yes.
Um, I guess slice the loan, I guess, drew strength from the love of his son to win the match,
which is literally what they were giving us from the love of his son to win the match, which
is literally what they were giving us at the end of the tamp thing.
Oh, and this is great little moment too, where they, you know, they raised the winner's
hand at the end of, you know, a boxing match, a UFC fight or apparently arm wrestling,
but their hands are still tied together.
Yeah, exactly.
I don't know who it was.
From before.
And the ref didn't think to like maybe raise the other hand of the winner, idiot, but they
have to raise the one.
So him and ball are both like, how?
Okay.
Yeah.
But him.
I'm pointing to him, but I see that they're both raising their hands now.
And I did it.
I really, what was it?
How does double work again?
Because I'm confused now.
I've explained it to you a number of times, but no one's explained it to me clearly.
Can I get the other nine reps in here to confirm about what double means?
We'll need a minute.
And of course, Robert Lojus devastated because he realizes that his kidnapping plans will
never work if the data is a world champion arm wrestler.
But the joy that he sees on Mike's face is enough to warm even Robert Lozia's
icy heart.
So he decides to give up on that and start kidnapping pregnant women.
It's a whole thing.
All right.
So, and then we have the little wrap up scene where Mike and Sly are leaving and their sweet
news semi truck and now Mike can be a trucker instead of successful.
I mean, no, I mean, the other thing, the other option was to have a millionaire pay your
way through school, kid.
Yeah.
Awesome.
You're not a trucker based on the amount of time you ride in a truck.
There's still no guarantee Mike will make it to trucker.
It rides.
Yeah.
And just to be clear, the happy ending here is a one man non-union trucking fleet.
That's the win condition of this movie.
Yes.
What they're saying.
Yeah.
Fuck you for not being for being out of the union too.
He's he's part of the independent truckers is what they say earlier, which means there's
a union trucker's flight and he's in the not that one.
Fuck you.
And yeah, so where we've ended now is that he's a trucker in a nicer truck.
Now is the grand finale.
It's a Volvo.
I will give him that.
It's a nice, nice, that's Volvo truck and Volvo makes good trucks.
I'm sure they do.
They did it in 1986 or whatever this was
And they were still Swedish. Well, if there's anything that 195 episodes of this show has taught me it's that there's always something worse
So the clothes things off tonight my question to you is that when we finally watch a movie based on a less visually interesting type of competition
Then this one.
What will they be doing?
Baseball.
Pa!
Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha!
We watched Sea Span.
Yeah.
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
But honestly, a movie about Stallone,
like doing a filibuster would be fucking incredible.
I would watch the shit out of that.
That could be pretty good.
All right.
Trying to read a phone book just alone for hours.
Uh,
two, eight.
My recipe for flower the stroke cake, I feel like that was
just missing earlier.
And if time doesn't mean It's got no flower.
All right. And while that does it for our review of over the top, that's not going to do it for the episode.
Judges, because we still haven't convinced anybody to pay us to not do this anymore.
So Eli, tell us what's on deck? Alien intrusion, un unmasking a deception. Oh Jesus fucking
Christ God, all right fine. So with that to look forward to we're gonna bring
episode 195 to a merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to all the Patreon
daughters that don't make the show go if you'd like to count yourself among their
ranks, you can make a per episode of nation at patreon.com slash God awful and
thereby earn a way access to an aftery version of every episode. You can also
help it's done by living as five star review on iTunes and by sharing the show on all
your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out
our siblings shows, the skating a the excitation needed in the skeptic crowd available in
iTunes, Stitcher room wherever else podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, just
a cinematic suggestion, you can email God awful movies to gmail.com, legal services for
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suitcase, a car of our social media, our theme song was written in performed by Brian
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All of the music was written in performed
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Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week.
For Heath and Rite and Eli Bosnick, I'm No Luzon.
Spam is going to work hard to earn another chunk next week
until then.
We'll leave you with a breakfast club close.
Bull Hurley only lost one match.
So the double elimination tournament is technically still going.
Stay tuned for Over the Top 2, Losers Bracket.
Once his dad was his legal guardian, the kid's name would be Mike Cawk.
And later the writers pretended that they realized that and it was an intentional joke, but bullshit.
I call them.
Next week's movie is about how alien sightings are deemed.
Just, you know, maybe write them in advance.
Okay, I actually did write them in advance. Okay, I didn't, I actually did write that in advance.
I kept it secret.
Oh, Jesus.
It's in my secret extra notes.
I see.
Mango nectar.
You're saying what you see.
Mango nectar.
That what you see, Eli.
And you look up as the thing that you immediately see mango nectar.
Yeah, I got like a gallon of mango nectar
She's just been drinking it during the record hot mango nectar
She just get yourself a foot saw
And a jar get straight to it
I'm naked in my house. That's not your problem. I'm in my house
I'm naked in my house. That's not your problem. I'm in my house. That is true. That's where as much clothes as I want. It's a glass door, but I wanted to see how it felt to press myself.
I get it. I get it.
There's a column of light on it.
It's warm. No cats sleeping a sunbeam.
And you know, come.
Same guy from this is interstitial one.
So I should use the I should use the same voice for this entire what what what are you?
The same guy who says interstitial one, you'll be him in character.
Oh, I see.
That's how I would interpret that right now.
What is it?
How am I supposed to interpret this?
Is it?
Well, I, the move around the thing.
I moved around nothing.
You did.
So I moved around the thing so that interstitial one
would come before interstitial two.
Yeah, you added it as interstitial two, doodly do one, doodly do three, interstitial one would come before interstitial two. Yeah, you added this interstitial to doodly do one doodly do three interstitial one doodly do two.
Yeah, I do them in the order of my thoughts.
Okay.
So it's just some of them.
You have the same thought.
So in interstitial two, yeah, is really.
You want me to do it?
It's really guy.
Yes. Because of how well is really guy. Yes.
Because of how well I do accents.
Yes.
Okay, I'll be an Israeli guy.
I'm not going to be an Israeli guy.
You have to be an Israeli guy.
You're go long, whatever, something go on.
Like I produced it.
Why?
Oh, well, you're selling a shitty helicopter.
You got this.
Boys, boys, get in here. You have
Mr. Gulag. I got some bad news. I lead actress just quit to move. I don't have a voice.
I don't have a fucking accent. Eli, if you want an accent, why don't you be the accent?
No, I got a little service. Oh, you're doing your, I want to do a side, I'll do
a side, salon. Okay. So he'll do Sly Stallone.
Or wait, so the reason I've got to do an action,
I'm sorry, wait, the reason I got to do an accident
is because that's more accurate
to who the producer of this film actually is.
Yes. Is there a joke in here anywhere
that relies on me having this accident?
No. Okay, here we go. We got it.
All right, we can do
Now you sure you don't want him to use his superior sliced alone voice for this one you are you know We got to keep the characters on system. Okay. I feel like this should be all right
Doodly do one
On you really yeah, you just drink motor oil. I didn't say you could just drink it. I just
wasn't a boy. That's a big leap you made. There's a message heard. Got it, guys. Well, if you're
good at drinking motor oil, I make sure it's new motor oil, not used to motor oil. Wow, I wrote in, can you drink M and Google filled in, can you
drink motor oil? That's because you read that story about the pastor in Africa. And it
remembered you doing that. And you remembered you checking probably that. Well, yeah, I think
he did do that, didn't he? The preceding podcast was a production of puzzle on a thunderstorm
LLC copyright 2019 all rights reserved.
The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle on a thunderstorm LLC copyright 2019 all rights reserved.