God Awful Movies - 237: The Goop Lab: Are You Intuit?
Episode Date: March 3, 2020This week, Michael Marshall joins us to break down Gwenyth Paltrow's new series on Netflix, specifically the episode on psychics and mediums. So listen in as four skeptics (one a professional magician...) show you what Gwenny's been keeping up her sleeve. --- Check out Marsh's other podcasts, Skeptics with a K and Be Reasonable. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Well, and then, okay, and the title card comes up, by the way, at this point, to inform us
it says, and I quote, critics believe that psychics and mediums use dishonest techniques
to give citters accurate readings.
And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you mean fucking believe?
It's not that critics believe that, is that critics have demonstrated it on live television!
Oh! Jesus!
To which Laura responds, single combat right now, let's go!
Who's the contestant?
I don't know.
I don't know.
And then we cut.
They don't do even a push-up contest.
God awful!
Movie!
Movie!
Movie! Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be to my immediate left is my good friend Heath and right. Heath, welcome back. Thanks, Noah. So I'm getting a number eight.
Do you ever use that digit in your life?
I have used that number.
I used that number today on fucking real nailed it.
It's sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnick Eli.
How are you this fine afternoon
sir? I'm amazing Noah. We've peaked. We've peaked. It's been such a good couple of weeks.
Crossroads a hunter wild Rambo last blood on the bonus episode. Now we got Mars to talk
about psychics. How much better? Can it get? Well, Luke, it could be so good that you don't
step on the next intro. That would be awesome. Well, we'll just let me do the fucking job.
I said I was going to know that that was coming up.
How the fuck did you know that Eli?
We should charge money for this shit.
All right. And of course, Eli already spilled the beans, but I'll tell you anyway, sitting
4,100 miles to my east, northeast is our special guest, massacres.
Michael Marshall is the project director for the Good Thinking Society. He's the host of the B reasonable podcast, the
co-hosts, the skeptics with the gay and he's an on again off again European Marsh. Welcome
back, sir. Oh, it's great to be back. Thank you so much for having me on for the psychic
episode. I have a lot of thoughts about Laura Lynn in this show. Oh my god. Yes, I'm excited.
Oh, good. Oh, good. Cause that this could have
very easily gone the other way too, you know, this could also have been that straw that broke
your back. I have very few thoughts. So this is going to work out great. Yeah. All right.
All right. So tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today? We watched the Goop Lab.
All right, so tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today? We watched the Goop Lab.
Are you into it?
Into it.
And it really peaks right there in the title without amazing research.
In case anybody's new, this is Winath Paltrow's new Netflix show about liars. And in this episode, we meet a psychic slash medium
and a really bad scientist who tries to like,
you know, prove or whatever that you can talk
because they're people.
But it's just 30 minutes of guessing wrong
and it's fucking delightful.
The psychic is so, the batting average is ridiculously low in the show that she's in
meant to be impressive and show that psychic's are real.
The psychic gets maybe one thing correct when somebody's like, wait, when you said the
letter L earlier, I thought I thought of something with the letter L in her life.
And they had to use an edit to make
that happen. Yeah. So that we wouldn't watch a psychic name the alphabet and then eventually
go back to getting hell right. The fucking best. And Eli, how bad was this episode? Well,
if you loved the movie Ghost, but you were too distracted by whoopie Goldberg's attractiveness, you will love this episode.
It's medium rare.
Medium rare.
And the podcast peaked with that amazing wordplay just.
Yeah, yeah.
And Marsh, how bad was that pun?
Oh, I've got so much a worse one later in the episode.
I'm so excited.
Oh, good.
Oh, good.
He's delighting it already.
I love it.
All right.
So is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best of being the
worst at best worst best best best best, Anna.
Oh, I'm a fucking favorite.
She is the group staff member who wouldn't lie to help the psychic,
but the character in the episode anyway, and it's fucking amazing. We get to watch a reading
of Anna by this liar. And it's just like, nope, nope, nippers, neon. This is so fun. What else
do you got? Yet nine. Let's do this. This is great.
It's amazing.
Oh God, Anna was my hero.
What I loved particularly was that she would
ask clarifying questions of the psychic.
Yes. We locked down what the psychic meant.
And then say no.
If you mean a person whose name starts with the letter J?
Yeah.
And she's like, absolutely. So someone who is dead, who is like related to my grandma,
so my grandma's sister.
Yeah, that didn't exist.
It wasn't one of those.
Yeah, that's how we call it, clarify.
Well, and did you say J or J adjacent?
Cause I have a K.
Still no.
I made that up, I don't have a K.
And connected to that, I want to say the,
this for me is best worst audio editing because
the editor of this episode is working all the time.
I hope they got paid more than anybody else involved in this because the only way they
can make anybody in this show look remotely psychic is if you could midway through every
other fucking sentence.
Yeah, one sentence you make it the end of without really hard sharp cuts. And
even then, these people do not appear to have any psychic abilities with the heaviest amount
of like cutting room floor cherry picking done. It still is under impressive. Even when
they're people who know each other, right? Like that's the worst fucking thing is that at
certain points, it's just co-workers psychicking each other's like, you've talked to her before,
you share a break room and you couldn't do better than that.
Wow.
This whole episode is like a 90s disc man on your center console of your car and you don't
have a skip protection and it's just so many bad edits.
All right.
So I was going to go with best worst class assignment.
All right, so there's it.
The whole thing is centered around the psychic giving the group staff a class on how to
be as psychic as they can be.
And as a Patreon reward, we should make me and Marsh go to this fucking class.
Yeah.
I want to go to this class.
I would pay to fly over to this to that class.
Oh, God, I will pay for you to do that. Although I would insist I'd have a chair.
Otherwise, the roll set cross-legged on the floor, whether like,
Chinese powers involve your head being within a close proximity to the ground. Maybe that's how
it works. Marshall will buy you a giant rolling throne to bring into that class.
Just to be a castle.
So big like Game of Thrones, but just like a lifeguard size chair.
And of course, I am going to nominate this episode for best, best, best, best, best magic trick.
Really anything, I'm not gonna say anything about it now.
Okay.
I go to magic conventions.
I advise for like professional magicians.
And this episode contains the best magic trick I have seen in
year.
It's pretty fucking great.
It's really is. All right, well, I'll tell you what, I don't know if there is a single spoken line in this
show that I did not write a note about. So we're going to need a second warm up to this
one, but when we come back, we'll dive into all the dangerously misguided bullshit of
the goop lab. Are you into it? No, this is how that would be for now
Alright everyone. I'm Gwyneth welcome to the writers meeting for goop labs
Okay, so what are we thinking for this episode and remember our motto as much
Possible yeah, okay Remember our motto. As much harm as possible. As much harm as possible. Yeah.
Okay.
Just, what about like handling uranium for acne?
Ooh, I like that.
Obviously a lot of harm there.
Right.
What about practice divorces?
Like you get a divorce for the practice.
Hmm, spiritual harm.
Love that.
Love that.
Outside the box. If I may. Yes Love that. Love that outside the box.
Oh, if I may.
Yes.
Why not just go with a classic.
Ooh, the J-Day, because we're going to get sued again.
That's right.
I mean, a classic harm.
I was thinking mediums.
Oh, nothing.
There's so much harm there.
That's excellent.
I mean, think about it.
Mediums have been debunked time and time
again right and yet they still built some of the most vulnerable people in the world out
of their money. Okay, but doesn't like everyone know that's bullshit. I'm granted
pal true and I know that's bullshit. No, but that's the best part. No people with firmly
rooted religious beliefs somehow think that Christ is the Lord and Savior and that an English teacher in Oklahoma City can talk to their grandma. It's really weird.
Huh. I love it, but it's gonna be hard to top. Self-imulation.
Drowning your babies. Eating your own poop. See, this is why I love you guys.
And we're back for the breakdown. We're to open up on what I guess is the opening of the show, but it is so
distinguishable from all the other parts of the show that I only know that because there
was a berry tempting skip intro option at the bottom.
I'll skip the whole fucking show.
That button pops up and it goes away too fast.
I ended up watching the intro.
It's the same exact intro in every episode, like the one we did.
Yeah.
Well, I didn't watch the first one, so I had to watch it.
It starts off with Gwyneth explaining that, you know, she realized that at some point in
her career, that being pretty made her good at thinking too, so she should start this
company or something.
Well, she said specifically that she realized that her calling is something else besides
making out with Matt Damon.
But the lesson of all this is that we have less bullshit being sold to women.
If only Matt Damon was better at making out, if he was a really good kid, this is a totally
appropriate use of my time, uh, intellect and capabilities.
I should just stick with this.
But I wish I was still like we could have been making out with Matt Damon instead of watching this fucking episode.
Two votes. All right. So and then we got this amazing line. I can't believe she says this
right in the intro of our show, right? She's sitting in her board room, talking to all
of her employees and talking about how it's all about self optimization. Like, you know,
optimizing the amount of money that my self has. And then she says, and I go, how do we milk the shit out of this?
Yeah, yeah.
And to be honest, I thought milk and the shit out of it was going to be saved for the
Clonix episode.
I'm surprised that it was going to be a good one.
And it is entirely half an hour in there.
I was expecting that in the boob massage episode.
Also, she's like stealing, trying to pretend she's like a skeptic here and that bothered
me because she's saying like, you know, we all have just the one life.
I'm a rationalist now by this psychic vampire repellent that I literally felt like
you know, yeah, no, you know, you do these stuff.
Whether or not that candle smells like your vagina. That part, that's like the truest thing on your site.
Fuck off.
She's like, you know, she goes like the advantage we have as a company.
And I'm like, oh, is the fact that if you wrap it in spiritualism, there's nothing that's
illegal to say that the advantage.
Yeah, it is.
Well, in fact, there'll be a disclaimer at the end of the season.
Yeah, but while in the intro, we get a montage of like people having a bunch of needles
in their face, a bunch of people eating mushrooms on the job, someone I think orgasming mysteriously.
Oh, that was me.
Oh, okay, fair.
Fair.
That wasn't that one was a very mysterious, but the thing is all the clips that you see, you know, they're just there to distract you from what Gordon is actually
saying over the top. And what she says is the opportunity we have with the Goop Lab is
that as a company, we can go out in different groups and do a deep dive into topics, which
is so banal. It's just so. You're not saying anything. Right. The advantage we have is we can check things. Go places and do things. We are ambulatory
and sapient. That's the advantage we have here at the goop lab. She also goes at one point
she says, we can ask the question, is this real? Do we feel better? And she presents those
as if those are two ways of phrasing the same fucking question and they're in lies the problem.
One of the questions about this little intro scene, we watch a doctor show, a woman,
how to look at her vagina, is that like a complicated thing?
Can women not see their vagina, or like with a mirror at least? And
this doctor seems to be like, I'm an expert. I invented this photon gun. It's a lamp.
And if you look at your vagina with this near it, it's a vagina.
So I was assuming, because we don't see the vagina, we just see that a woman is looking
at her vagina. I was assuming there was a ping pong ball involved or something like that that there was a trick going
on here. Well, you've not seen the vagina episode in that case. That's Betty Dodson,
an octogenarian sex therapist who's actually pretty cool and that episode is not that bad,
but the episode does end with one of the goop staff, wanking while Betty Dobson holds her stomach.
Really?
And so the end of that show is like a minute and a half
of this goop lady just going at it with a vibrator
while being held by an octogenarian.
So it's watching for them.
Can we switch over to your collection of videos
of when you're wanking a wanking held by octogenarians?
Let's just switch over to that episode now.
Yeah, let's just do that in a half. All right.
So now we're opening the episode proper.
We open on a bunch of her employees, I guess, walking around barefoot outside, communing
with their stupidity.
The first line in the episode itself, somebody goes, once you become aware of your own
energy, and I'm like, okay, unless this
sentence ends with a stage of development that we reach in infancy, right?
Like, you know, you have the ability to open and close your hands.
I'm calling bullshit on it.
All right.
Yeah.
Everybody's doing that like weird hand-motiony thing.
And like as far as I can tell, somebody's saying like, okay, once you learn to hold the
invisible pulsating watermelon. That was the end of my thought. Here's your bill. Oh, it's so, like,
there's so much nothing being said here. Okay, here's the actual quote I had to write this
one down. Once you become aware of your energy and that everything around us is energy,
you can start to do exercises and activities that help open you up energetically.
Yep.
And some of those, some of those exercises involve poking yourself in the forehead, which
is what they're all doing as a standing in the garden.
And then playing what I thought was an imaginary occultion.
That's why I thought the hand gesture was.
Oh, that makes more sense.
You're right.
An invisible accordion is way, sorry, my thing is withdrawn.
Paul Sating watermelon. What the hell are you thinking? This is why I'm not silly.
That was silly.
No, I'm skeptic here.
Occam's riser.
So it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it,
it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it,
it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it,
it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it,
it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it,
it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it,
it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it,, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, I'm not making this example up. She says, was there something with a car? Amazing.
And the response was like, that's fucking crazy.
Oh my God.
I have a car.
I have an awesome car.
I have a car.
I have a car.
I have a car.
I have a car.
I have a car.
I have a car.
I have a car.
I have a car.
I have a car.
I have a car.
I have a car.
I have a car.
I have a car.
I have a car.
I have a car. I have a car. I have a car. I have a car. I have a car. Amazing. And the response was like, that's fucking crazy. I'm, oh my God.
I have an automobile. I swear to God. I was in a car this morning. Holy shit. Yeah.
What you didn't see was in the clip before she nims something beginning with an A, then
there was something beginning with a B, both of them. Miss Carl with next. You want to be in the car? I'm just down by now. And was there a dog?
But one time the guy, there was a xylophone.
It was a terrible day for me.
Yeah.
And then there's, of course, the lady going like, you know, I can't believe that, you
know, they would declare that some people would have the audacity to declare all psych
fraudulent just because every single one who has ever subjected themselves
to testing turned out to be one.
That was that was one of the amazing terrible cuts right there.
Somebody's just like all these ideas are being laughed at being called fraudulent.
Oh, my lines over cut.
Wow.
I thought we would explain that on the laughing thing.
They say ideas are laughed at before they're accepted
Which is another way of saying anything you think is ridiculous will one day be true?
So Eli one day you genuinely will be able to fuck away someone's line to see if you can look
for
Santerism same thing. Yeah, I just love the idea that cheap apparently honestly believes that every single correcting was originally laughed at right every incremental advance and
says hey may we determine the the atomic weight of that new element everybody
cracks the fuck up
circles aren't around you are
also like don't fucking flat yourself This is not a new idea.
This is like the single oldest, wrong idea, right?
She's, and you know, I'm gonna talk a little bit
in this show about some of the sort of psychic techniques
that I've kind of seen psychics employing,
and I'm just gonna mention,
there's one, the first one that we see
is the psychic saying to everybody there,
like, oh, you're psychic, you're intuitive,
because we all are, which is something psychics say to people in order to kind of get them on board, you know,
you kind of say to people, oh, you've got magic powers as well, then you're more likely to be
flattered into thinking or special and therefore kind of agree that this magic power exists.
And the best deployment of this I ever saw was a psychic in Liverpool, just in a mind-body
spirit. First of all, I have no idea who she was. She was incredible for the ways that she got out of things. And she tried this trick. As part of an audience,
picked out a lady, said she was talking to this lady's mum, and the psychic says,
and she's saying to me, love, she's saying, your psychic, you are. And normally the person in
the audience would always go like, oh, yeah, I am. Or if they don't, the psychic would say something
like, well, you're not psychic, but you've got the potential to be. Are you very intuitive?
Sometimes you know stuff.
But this lady in the audience just went,
no, I'm not psychic at all.
And so the psychic, without missing a beat, said,
no love, she's talking to me.
She's saying, I'm psychic.
I'm psychic.
I'm psychic.
I'm psychic.
Wait, you're a mom should up to tell me how psychic I am.
That's amazing. She was the greatest psychic I've ever seen for spinning a miss because at one point in
the reading she talked about how somebody in the audience had, she could see that, you
know, the person inside, they're showing me a glass fruit bowl on a mantel piece above
a fire and there's an apple in it.
And the person in the audience is like, that makes no sense to me.
And any of the psychic would just spin some of those details out. It's not a glass fruit bowl, but a ceramic one. It's not apple in it. And the person your audience is like, that makes no sense to me. And any of the psychic would just spin some of those details out.
It's not a glass fruit ball, but a ceramic one.
It's not in the fireplace, it's on a table.
It's not an apple, it's a banana.
This psychic didn't do this, didn't do that at all.
She doubled down, she went, no, she's definitely showing me a glass fruit ball on top of
a mantelpiece with an apple in it.
And actually, she's showing me now that there's a banana balanced on top of the apple.
Sometimes even I don't know what they're trying to say and then she moves on it was just
Good for her
Oh, you
First word to still was hold on hold on I'm getting this also like can we can we take just a quick second to talk about the
The people that work for good
about the the people that work for Goop. I would describe them as
everybody ever that I hate at the
coffee shop all of them. Everything
go on. I think if you asked a
million people to describe what the
staff of Goop look like, they
describe every single one of these
people to a 99% accuracy. If there
was no sound recondition, you just showed me this photo, I'd be like, oh my
God, that looks like the staff at goop.
And we've got here.
We've got the guy when a turtle neck, we've got the guy in a denim shirt, we've got the
guy in a blue blazer.
That's one guy.
That was one guy.
Also, the psychic cuts in here.
She aims for a simile, but misses and she says something.
I think this might be an exact quote.
She says, if we take a piece of paper, dead people are just on the other side of it.
Fuck, I did a metaphor.
It's like, it's like they're like that.
So what? It's like they're like that. Yeah, so what, she says literally,
if you take a piece of paper,
dead people are on the other side.
So like, when you don't take a piece of paper,
they're just dead,
or they're ignoring you on the other side of the piece of paper.
Do you take this woman's class?
I think she's just got really confused about what the obituary section in a newspaper actually is. Hey, look
if I look at the other side, all those people come back to life. Yeah. She's just flipping
paper back and forth. Kill your parents. Kill your parents. They're back. And now I guess
that was also part of the intro.
I don't like now the show actually starts, right?
We're sitting around a couch.
We've got when is then her assistant done one side
and we have our psychic on the other side
along with a PhD.
We'll meet them in turn.
But the opening question, I love this so goddamn much
is what's the difference between mediums and psychics?
Right. And I immediately wrote, I know this one, So God damn much is what's the difference between mediums and psychics?
Right. And I immediately wrote, I know this one mediums lie about the present psychics lie about the future, but that's not correct. That was not correct. Answer.
I love that the psychic slash mediums answer was I'm both. Yep.
The answer to the question, what's the difference was I bow do both just, you know,
I can read your mind. Also, if you take a piece
of paper, I'm a necromancer. Now, this is, this is Laura Lynn Jackson. She is a psychic medium,
a teacher, and an author. Uh, none of those are legally protected terms. So sure, me too,
right? Uh, I googled her, by the way, fun fact. She used to look like Ivanka Trump. Now she
looks like if Ivanka Trump settled like a tar drop experiment. So that's fun thing.
So, now, March, were you familiar with Laura Lynn's work? No, I'd not heard of her at all,
which is weird, because later in the show, she is described as though like one of the world's
best mediums, but I had never heard of this person in the slightest.
She is as good as any other medium in the world.
She is the highest for best.
All right.
So, okay.
She explains though that being a medium means that she can read energy.
Now, so she's two fucking levels removed from meaning.
Read some non-specific thing. Energy, some non-specific thing, right?
And did you guys get the sense that I did that when she's talking and we keep cutting
to Gwyneth Paltrow, Gwyneth is not buying this remotely.
Even when she's sort of saying, oh, this is going to be a good one.
I know this seems really exciting.
It looks like she does not believe this in the slightest.
You've got a smile on her face. I think we've hit the bottom of the barrel of what Gwyneth
Paltrow is willing to say she believes in in the name of Goop. I think we've found the
limits of her credularity.
Yeah, I still think they're going to make a season two and a season three of this.
Oh, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you know, Laura's probed both of our worlds on the other side, implying that Laura's done a reading
for both her and Gwyneth Paltrow, which is weird because we never see her do a reading
for Gwyneth Paltrow. And if that was a good reading, we absolutely would have seen it.
And we don't ever see it. So that just slips by like it never happened.
Well, yeah, in at least two, yeah, we really never mentioned that one. We see a couple of others.
Oh, so I want to point out Laurel in just that she can talk to dead people, which is great because at some point in this
fucking episode, I'm probably going to die from the apopsylactic rage that she causes and I can still tell her to go fuck herself then
which is nice. We also meet so sitting alongside Laurel in is
Julie, I'm going to go guess
Bysheal, Bysheal. Yeah, Julie Bysheal. Yeah. Now that is a, I'm going to go guess, Byshel.
Yeah, Julie Byshel.
Yeah.
Now, that is a near my did know.
So because she used to be someone who was regularly talked about on skeptical, a podcast
holster by Alex Secheris.
I don't know if you guys have ever heard of skeptical.
It was quite, it was prominent for a, for a while.
I think it's still going.
Loads of skeptics would be invited on to do an interview, you know, fairly leading skeptics and sort of parapsychology, well, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, after their stuff. And Julie Byshel is basically the go to example he has for well, well-conducted science about
the paranormal. So it was a bit retro hearing a name and actually meeting Julie Byshel there on
this show. Oh wow. Okay. So yeah, question. You might have a good example of today. Yeah.
She is the example that when I interviewed Alex Echerus, he repeatedly brought up the work
that Julie Bichel was doing as evidence that we skeptics aren't listening to the real
quality science that's being done.
Okay, is, is her first line in this show not, there's a lot of anecdotal evidence that I'm not a fraud?
Yes. And then there's a long pause while even Gwyneth Paltrow is like, oh, do you think that's
good?
Do you know what Annam goes with it?
Well, this is the thing.
So Julie, you know, it has got a PhD.
I kind of a field of PhD is.
It's not in the saying it's not in the, the, the, it's a pharmacology.
Yes, pharmacology and toxicology.
Yeah.
Important back.
With a minor in microbiology and immunology from the University of Arizona. So she's ready for psychics, yet for sure.
Just quick reminder, Phoenix PhD as a product that you can buy, you know,
that you say they sell you that.
If you pay for it long enough, you get one of those.
Feel like it stands for Phoenix doctor.
That's you.
She said Arizona, but it's misleading.
I really get.
But her best line though is after she says that bullshit, like
the he mentioned, she says and I quote, there's tens if not hundreds,
if not thousands, if not millions of people in the US that have
had at least at least who have had these experiences. She's narrowed it down to five
orders of magnitude for us and then put an at least after quite a range. I mean, like there
are zero tens and zero hundred. That's technically true. And the sad thing about Julius,
she explains how
she got into this. And it was her mom died. She went to a medium. She got convinced that
it was true. And then she went to her colleagues who were sort of fellow scientists saying, hey,
this is amazing. And they went, no, you just tricked. You adduped. And she said to them,
I didn't get tricked. I'm a good scientist. And I was there. And that's how she got into
this whole thing is I'm a scientist,
therefore I am too smart and educated to be fooled by a very well-conducted, very well-studied
set of psychological tricks. That works on lots of people, especially if you don't know
that they're tricks. Especially if you think you're too smart to get fooled. Yeah, yeah,
absolutely. Yeah. And if you've got a massive emotional bias towards believing it, because
your mom just died. Come on Julie. Yeah.
Yeah, but yes, so she cites potentially millions of experiences at least and, you know, doesn't seem to be convinced that, you know, like the fact that not a single one of them has been
satisfactorily documented would maybe be a problem with her assertion here, but she's the expert. She's going to be
their, their fucking scientific expert throughout the episode.
Yeah, even though she just introduced that, there's a lot of anecdotal evidence, seems
what she's going on. And I kind of rock my nose, oh, we get to bring anecdotal evidence
because I've got a lot of anecdotal evidence. I've seen about how well mediumship helps
with grief. I've seen the psychic Joel power saying to a lady in the audience who talked
about her son's suicide.
And she said he, how he, her son jumped out of the window, I think it was.
And Joel paused for a while and said, he's telling me, he didn't jump.
He's telling me he was pushed.
Oh, God.
That's that kind of anecdote, 11th and civil helping people deal with grief.
Oh, I see.
He's telling that to you.
Jesus.
Marx, there are tens, if not quadrillions of anecdotes.
And who pushed her Hillary Clinton.
Yeah, that's not even the worst one.
I won't go through the worst stories because this is ostensibly a comedy show, but there
is some grimes to have.
Wow.
Wow.
All right.
So now we're going to see Laurel in the psychic in action. She's going to do a rating for Caitlin, who is Goop's food editor and undoubtedly the best one, right?
Like they did 12 of these. This was the best one that she got. So this is the one that
we're seeing, right? Yes. Yeah.
We also get the little preface screen here where it's like our producers didn't tell
her anything and their card was a totally free choice.
This is perhaps the most delicious part of the episode because one, it's not true and two,
you're just allowed to lie about that stuff. Like, I'm not gonna name any names, but I have a friend who's a fairly well-known magician who constantly does that and it's just a lie.
Right, right, right, right.
We have never met before, have we. Right, right. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
We have never met before, have we?
No, yeah, there we go.
I promise not to palm cards, I'm palming our cards.
Absolutely.
Well, and then, okay, so keep in mind,
consider what we're going into, right?
So first of all, this is one of 12, right?
She psychic reading all the various members of the staff.
This is the best one.
Everyone she did a reading for was pre-screened for both
credulity and stupidity. They work for...
GOOP!
And yet, despite that, what we get is shit like Laura going,
I'm sensing that you have or have had a mother?
Oh my god!
Literally like, hey, do you know any females by any chance?
Maybe your family has a female somewhere in it. I do this. It's like so many. It's like half.
It's about half. Just as a perfect example of how well, how heavily rather this has been
edited because we introduced Caitlin. Laura says one line to her, we immediately cooked to Caitlin already into his. So it's like, wow, you're really
fed by that opening, opening greet.
I'm going to say hi to you. She goes, I'm getting it.
EL or a sound with an L or an L name. I'm like, wow, look at all that specific.
Well, and let's just point this out here.
She goes, I'm getting an EL.
Her name is Caitlin and her mom's name is Lori.
Now, I'm no psychic, but we are still missing an E.
Oh, she's really good.
Oh, she was actually reading this podcast.
Oh, and I want to talk about my favorite cold reading moment here where she says, I'm
hearing happy birthday.
And then Caitlin goes, it's her birthday tomorrow, which means that Lori, her dead mom, is
like, happy birthday to me.
Then that through the ether of death.
Well, that's okay.
That's my favorite.
That's my favorite aspect of this whole thing.
If we buy this nonsense, which we don't, I mean, Eli could destroy this fucking lady
in a cold rain contest. But if we buy this, we have to accept that this woman's dead mother
crossed over from the other side had this unique opportunity to talk to her fucking still living daughter and said, it's my birthday tomorrow.
Also, you have some artwork of mine in your home.
Yeah.
Is that it?
I also, I love the question that Laura asks about the birthday thing as well, because she
says, I'm hearing happy birthday.
Is there a birthday coming up in the family?
Yeah.
I mean, what does that ever like in the next year, in the next 365 days, I mean, I
were like in the next year in the next 360 five days, is there a birthday?
I also loved how Lori, like at one point, she like tried to help.
There's like an awkward pause where the medium clearly got something wrong.
Yep.
And Lori, like, starts to be like, did you say right?
Because my mom is right hand and the psychic is like, shut the fuck up.
Don't help me. I got it. I will eventually edit this. If you say something
in a look bad, I will think so.
Oh, well, no, so you know what that was. She says, like, don't feed the medium. But I get
what she's doing there is she says she does a bit of a reading and Caitlin doesn't really
react to it. And then she, and there's an awkward pause. Yeah. After that, after there's
been a bit of a pause, Caitlin then tries to fill that pause because it's awkward. And then she, and there's an awkward pause. Yeah. But after that, after there's been a bit of a pause, Caitlin, then try to fill that pause because it's awkward. And so what law is doing,
and it mediums do it fairly often, is kind of underlying and underscore that awkward pause. So you're
even more aware of how awkward it is next time, and you will fill it without even thinking about it.
So it's not exactly pushing you into that kind of pressure situation. So you will do it by highlighting
how awkward the silence is actually. It's really smart. And yeah, we get to see the next level of this, which he starts beating up on the girl
who's not, you know, pretending not playing along.
Oh, I was like, oh, you want to play the awkward silence game?
Let's fucking do this.
Yeah, right.
Right.
But it's really, really hard to counter that because like we, I went to the, at some
under cover filming of a palm reader once, and we sent a friend
a mind with the camera that we had. And we told my friend who's had lots of, like,
lots of readings as a skeptic, she's done a lot of investigations, we said, all you need to do
is just go, all you allowed to do is say to the psychic, I only want to know about my current
situation because I need to prove to my friend this is true. So please don't tell me about anything
about the future. And I'm not going to answer any questions because I need to prove to my friend this is true. So please don't tell me about anything about the future. And I'm not gonna answer any questions because I need to prove to my friend that it's true.
And so every time that the psychic was asking a question,
my friend would say, I can only answer it.
Like I can only say yes, I know I can't say more than that.
Could you be a bit more specific?
And even though this person, my friend,
had loads of reading, she found it really impossible
to live in that awkwardness of saying,
could you be more specific
when the psychic wasn't playing back?
And she found herself, even though she knows, knows, knows, knows you, just playing along
with given information just because of the social pressure.
So it's really, really hard to count.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, and we also get this amazing miss here too, right?
Where she says, like, you know, I, I see two kids.
Oh my God.
And then like the person that she's reading for is like,
just blank in the face, she goes in the future.
It's kids.
Come on, those kids though, they're like sitting there
watching her hook up with some guy on Tinder.
Come on, mom, don't use a condom.
Don't use a condom.
Ah, damn it.
Can't.
One of his wallet.
Who carries one in their wallet?
This presumptuous.
Oh God.
There's also a bit where her mum and her grandma, I think, who've come through, say to the
psychic, apparently calling to Lynn, to Laura Lynn, that they're really happy to be reunited.
And I wanted to carry that on further and say, and they really want to be reunited with
you, like, machine is possible.
I thought ideas about methods and stuff.
Right. And what we're trying to establish here, because the woman is crying in this very emotional Like machine is possible. I thought it is about methods and stuff.
Right. And what we're trying to establish is that because the woman is crying and it's a very emotional experience here. And ultimately what we're trying to establish is that even if this is a lie,
it's a good lie because look at how happy this woman is. Right. But in reality, it's spectacularly
goddamn cruel Laura knows exactly what she's doing. either that or she should be locked in a fucking
Padded room one way or the other she should be locked in a fucking padded room. Yep. Yeah, it's really just about how much we care about her
Padding level
Exactly
All right, well I'll tell you what we're about to hit level two of Laura's scam
That's where she sells her psychic abilities to you But I'm gonna need to take a few deep breaths first, so we're gonna pause for
a quick break, but on the other side, there's even more.
The Goop Lab.
Yeah, there is.
Hey Frank, how you doing?
Still dead, Steve, you.
Also still dead.
How's the service today?
That's fucking lousy.
Today I can only get two words and a letter in. So still dead. How's the service today? Nah, it's fucking lousy.
Today I can only get two words and a letter in.
Two words and a letter get out of here.
I know, I know.
Hello, gentlemen.
Evie, everything all right?
I mean, honestly, Marsh, no.
Oh, what seems to be the problem?
Alright, so my niece is dating this guy, what really don't like?
And I'm trying to tell her, but the communication you guys set up here in the afterlife, it's just fucking weird.
Weird. How's it weird?
I mean, if you want us to communicate with our loved ones, which we very much do, yeah.
Right, right. Why not just let us talk to them directly?
Or, you know, through people who aren't constantly being proven to be frauds.
Or there.
This is typical.
You all think it's just easy, don't you, right?
I'd like to see you guys, right?
Design a system by which the dead can talk to the living that doesn't exactly resemble
a bad magic trick and rely on the morally repugnant.
I mean, how about like a death telephone death telephone? Oh shit, yeah, that's
better, isn't it? Very much so, yeah. Yeah. And we're back and now it's time for us to
unlock our psychic powers. See, when we, when we last left off, Laura was explaining that, yes, she's psychic, but everybody's psychic.
You just have to go through her rigorous psychic training program.
Yep.
And her example of this is,
you ever noticed someone looking at you?
That's psychic.
Yeah.
Yeah, and it's like,
these people look for Goop.
They're very used to people looking at them.
They're just sad. She actually at them. That's sad.
She actually says, she's got a class of people out on there,
like Goop lawn or wherever.
And she goes, so who's had a person behind you before?
Everyone.
Wow.
I am crushing it today.
Oh, all right, guys, you're just focusing on the misses here.
She starts off by saying, and I quote, energy is real.
So like, let's compliment Sam, which that is true.
That is correct.
Laura.
Well done.
And then everything she says is bullshit.
Okay.
And we should point out that throughout this episode, we're sort of interspersing this with
Laura doing her thing, doing her psychic thing, teaching her class, and also her on the couch with Gwen and it's explaining
all her psychic powers and how her psychic powers work, et cetera.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
There's a brilliant bit in that where Gwen if asks Laura specifically, how does the information
come to you?
And she talks about how she sees it and like a screen and a mind and all this kind of stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
But it just remind you that exact question is a question that a friend of mine asked
at a Q&A with a psychic and specifically asked it because this psychic was jaw power
who I've had many run into a Liverpool-based psychic.
Had many kind of interesting experiences with jaw over the years.
But my friend ever went along to see jaw shawl.
And the first half of the show is him doing all of his readings.
But for the first time in all the times we'd seen jaw, he seemed to be using tarot cards, which he'd never
seen to do before, which is a bit strange. But we couldn't, like Emma couldn't see that
they were tarot cards because Joe's upon a stage. And the table that he's got the cards
apparently on is saw high that from the audience, you can't see what's on top of the table.
So he puts a box, quite a large box on top of the table, then takes out a deck of tarot cards. What strange, Emma told me, was that all the way through
the readings, he wasn't looking at the audience, he was looking down at the table, but at the box
and not where he put the cards. And he looked carefully, you'd see his hand moving up and down in
the box and occasionally doing like a pinching motion as if he was zooming in. Oh my God. Oh my God. That's the first half.
So that's the first half.
So it's like, your dad pinch, pinch, pinch, died of a zoom in of the heart.
It was exactly that face if you're right.
Your mother is buffering.
Hold on.
So then it gets to the Q&A.
And so Emma puts a hand of trusty question.
And she says, yeah, you're looking down at the table a lot while you're doing the readings.
Are you like seeing the information in front of you somehow or is it coming to you through
some other means?
And the microphone gets hurriedly whipped away from her and move on to that.
How, who tackled me?
That was a violent.
Okay.
Alright, so we're going gonna meet a bunch of the different
group folks along the way here as they're gonna test out their various psychic abilities.
Yeah. We meet the head of their IT here, which means that what they do is they must just
grab someone from IT for each episode and make them participate in the show. Yeah, and I want to be in that meeting so, so badly.
You wanted to see me, Mrs. Paltrow.
Hey, Dave, come on in.
I have some fantastic news for you.
You stop putting claims on the internet that I have to delete it for.
I am when I get a frantic call from hippie Andrew Torres.
No, better.
I want you, our IT guy, to be on the goop show.
No, thank you.
Now before you say no, you cannot say no.
I can't.
No, you can't.
Okay.
Um, could I at least maybe be on the drugs episode? I like drugs. I could probably think of some nice and.
And also true things that I could say about about. No, I'm afraid you can't be on the drugs episode, but since you love plants.
Drugs. How about the episode we're calling flower power?
drugs. How about the episode we're calling flower power? What's it about? It's about the healing powers of shoving flowers up your butt. Okay, I really don't want to do that. I mean, don't
like a lot of people watch this thing? Oh, millions and millions. Yeah, right. See that? Like, I cannot
emphasize how much this is not my job. Mm, I know, I know.
Anyways, see you tomorrow at 5 a.m.
when we start shooting.
5 a.m.
Yeah, TV is hell, but it's early hell.
It has to go like that.
What I like is, like Laura's getting into like,
play around and she says that you all have to like,
direct energy
and I really wanted one of them to actually throw a fireball
at one point.
I'm like, wow, go ahead and eat this.
And then we also meet the assistant editor of Goop as well.
Who's it's a name that I Google to try and find
a pronunciation of this.
I've not seen anybody in the world with this name
but I think it's like misery or misery,
something like that.
Sure.
And I think she is the assistant editor of Goop.
And I heard she's really loyal to the employer
because I think misery loves the company. Ha ha my worst pun, in case you all are wondering.
There's a great bit where like Laura has them all sort of stand in a group and she says,
you know, strike whatever pause you compelled to, to beam love to the person in the center of a
circle. And he picks them out, stand them in central circle. And I really wanted Eli in that group.
So you can just imagine the medium like strike whatever pulls you, you can count it to beam love to the person in the center of the circle. Not like that Eli.
He pans back on. I promise you that's not love and that does not count as beaming it.
All right. Well, agree to disagree. Well, I love it. So she's like, you know, everybody
beam energy towards the person in the center and apparently beaming energy is one of those
things that you don't have to be told how to do.
You're just automatically as good or as bad as everyone else, right?
Yeah.
And then the person that sent it, Laura says that the person that sent it is just going
to be the receiver.
And yeah, I've seen those videos online as well.
Yeah.
Right.
Well, energy buccacchi.
Yeah.
All right.
So in our first buccacchi recipient is going
to be the skeptic in the crowd. This is where we meet Anna, right? And Anna is like, yeah,
I don't really buy into all of this psychic stuff. And the psychics like, oh, that's all right.
I'm going to spend the entire rest of this episode bullying you.
No worries. So she they they step right into the middle
and then everybody beams energy
and then we cut to Lauren, she's like,
well, did you feel the receiving energy?
And we cut back to the middle
and it's a different fucking person in the middle.
We skipped on a chance to do that question.
How good would it be though?
She looked down, she was like,
I'm blonde, I'm blonde.
I love, she's basically, she's, How good would it be though she looked down she was like I'm blonde I'm blonde
I love she's basically she's asking the people in the middle did you experience any feelings or emotions in the last two minutes Well then QE fucking D okay
And also by the way they go through this little montage where everybody explains what
it was like to receive the energy.
No one's descriptions are remotely similar to anyone else's.
Yeah, right?
The only thing similar is everybody is quite certain you beam energy like Gandalf.
Everybody's doing Gandalf the only thing that's the only thread here.
I loved turtle neck, denim jacket, whatever, everything fashion
guy. He was like, yeah, so when I was in the middle, I felt something from above me.
Also, I felt like I'm pretty sure I was on a hilltop. So that, well, okay, were you guys on like higher hill tops? Cause you were nobody said, I feel like somebody started to say, yep, nope.
Well, and mystery or whatever her name is actually hits on it for just a second.
She says, well, you know, it really felt good to be standing in the middle of the circle
and have everyone paying attention to me.
Yep, that's it. That's it. That's the whole point of this exercise, right? And then we see
Ana. We cut back to Ana in the middle. She's going like, wow, you know, I feel guilty.
It's super uncomfortable to be the only one not playing along with this.
Not playing pretend. Right. And Laura's like, oh, I'm going to lean the fucking to that,
right? She's like, no, it's going to lean the fuck into that. Right?
She's like, no, it's okay for you to have no response. It's it's some people just don't
have the empathy and, you know, open mind that's required for this. You know how like, you
have to really believe in physics for the airplane. You're into fly. It's like that. Some
people want to be on the episode. Some people don't.
It's fine. It's fine. You can do it. Everyone. Yeah. Right. All I ask is that you believe me
anyway. Okay. So now we're back. We cut back to the group couch interview with a with Gwyneth and her assistant and Laura and the PhD lady
and pinface, sorry, I don't know her name,
the assistant was here at the beginning with the acutum.
Oh, yeah, at least, yeah.
Yeah, at least, okay.
So at least points out that every claim they're making
is unproven, right?
She's like, well, this is all unproven.
I can't say it's proven false,
because that's not really a thing.
So, you know, maybe the accurate way to say it would be despite hundreds
of years of fervent global attempts, no credible evidence that you're not a fraud has ever
been documented making the likelihood of you not being a fucking liar, approximately on
par with winning the lottery every day for six goddamn years. But instead, she just used
this toward unproven. Yeah. And I think it's is a guineatherer lease who says well can we prove anything?
Yeah, you can prove that you can convince some people you psych it.
I mean we can prove that.
Well, and then she cuts in and she says, you know, you may have heard a double blind
tests.
All right, well, I do a test that's two and a half times more accurate than those even more blind
Quentin Topop blind test it's fucking because it's so clearly designed by me to bother Marsh
Fucking skeptic I'll show you. I gave a baby at the hospital measles. Now it's an extra good
skeptic, I'll show you. I gave a baby at the hospital measles. Now it's an extra good blind test to show you. So like, so this quintuple blind test, you say, is like the medium
doesn't know anything about the person other than their name. And the tester doesn't know
anything other than their name. And then we do that twice and we give two people a set
of results and they see which ones there's, but this whole apparently quintuple blind super strict test
is done over the phone. It's an audio-only system and it's a system with only two readings
done over the phone where you can't see what the other person is doing. And I thought,
well, I'm going to say, well, this is even stupid because if you get two names, you've got
a lot to work with with two names. If you give me them Eli and the name Anna, I think I
could give you a reading
that Eli would recognize as being his, if the Anna one wasn't his, you know, you
can be locked in the age.
Right.
Yes, your balls will itch, for example.
Right.
So, yeah, this is the test that she's created.
And this is why I have no belief whatsoever that the fucking Julie Bachel, PhD, isn't also
in on the fucking scam, because this is her fucking test, right?
It's something that's got a better than 50, 50 shot of a false positive.
Plus it has a non-quantifiable measure for passing, right?
Because the way they determine it is when they hand you two fucking psychic readings
and say, which of these two is yours?
Yes, yeah.
That's it.
Not, not 10, right? Yes, that's it. Not 10, right?
Yeah, that's exactly it,
because it is, the right way to do it
is to give people readings to say identify yours,
but you don't do it with just two.
So when I've done these tests in the past,
we have five sitters,
and we don't do it over the phone
because we want to see what the psychic's doing
and make sure they're not cheating in any way.
And so you have, we had like the sitter in a room
behind a screen, they couldn't say anything. And then the
psychic would come in and, you know, to pass the test, I think you either
needed five out of five or even four out of five, all able to identify
themselves. That's how you actually control it. And like in terms of actual
controls beyond that, you say to the, all of the sitters, well, we need to pick
sitters who are roughly the same demographics. So you can't just rely on doing a demographic spread in your readings and hope that you get it right.
But we also said to the readers to the to the city's rather don't wear any perfume.
Because if you're on the other side of the screen and you're the only one who's got quite a strong
scent on, then this then a psychic who wanted to cheat to cheat could say, well, they've got
expensive perfumes. So I could say they care a lot about their appearance. They think it's really important to take time to present themselves well.
And that will be just enough to tip it over the edge.
Right.
We'd redact out any references to background noises, because if a place I
and went past you in one of the readings, you might allude to that in
some way in the reading in a way that can be highlighted.
But you can do all that because you're in person.
You're not over the fucking phone.
Oh, ridiculous. I love also that you apparently went from double to quintuple and ruined her quintuple blind
Well, and that's the thing is right like so what she did is she took an existing test protocol and dumbed it down to make it easier for the
Cycics to pass yeah, she didn't make this shit up
She literally took something, psychics were
doing and created a higher percentage of false positives. There is no goddamn way you
did that by accident. Now, I think she did. I genuinely think she does it back there.
I think she is a genuine believer. And I think it's that phenomena where you do a test of
something you really believe in and the test says it doesn't work. So you find a different
test and you eventually find a test.
And you go, we found the right test. I honestly think she probably believes it, but yeah,
it's an ideological blindness. Yeah, I guess at a certain point, there's not that much
difference between the two claims were made.
Yeah, exactly. Getting a letter P hacking.
Some of them. Although, to Noah's point, she does spend time answering a question
none of us asked, which is so the reason why we don't release the data is because it
is private. It's private science. It would be like really sick. You're medical, Tena.
No, we cannot release the transcripts,
but they are perfect.
I assure you the transcripts are perfect.
They're under audit by the IRS,
but right after that, we'll get you that.
And Queryth goes like, okay, now,
some people, there are some psychics out there
that are, I'm not gonna say fraudulent,
because then how the fuck would I sleep at night?
But let's just say not as good at it as you, right?
We can admit that some people aren't really good at it.
Hard cut.
Yeah.
And look, it's worth pointing out
because the big argument that you see
from believers in this, not practitioners in this
is like, oh, you know, they're just crazy
or they just believe it or something like that.
But shut eyes, which is the con term for people who think that they're real. Don't charge money. If you set up a credit card
processing center for your second ability, you are aware you aren't really sick.
Yeah. Yeah. And they also, as you say, they take tests, the only tests I've ever ran were
people that I think genuinely did believe it and were confused when they didn't pass the test,
which is great because Julie Bichel has explained what she thinks
is a quintuple blind super strict, amazing protocol. And then Laurel and Jackson says, well,
I'll do any research you want. And then we cut to her not doing Julie Bichel's control
and that's the only thing doing a test that we know is heavily biased and completely
useless, brilliant.
Oh, well, and then okay, and the title card comes up, by the way, at this point, to inform us, it says,
and I quote, critics believe that psychics and mediums
use dishonest techniques to give citters accurate readings.
And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
what do you mean fucking believe?
It's not that critics believe that
is that critics have demonstrated it on live television.
Oh, Jesus.
To which Laura responds, single combat right now. Let's go.
And then we cut. They don't do even a pushup contest. Yeah, right. She's like the B.H.G.
chick is like, you know, we can show that this is accurate. We're not going to, but we
can. The important thing is that theoretically we could show you. I'm not because you're
because you're just being mean now. now I don't want to show you.
Why would why would goop introduce cold and hot reading that would be like me walking
in and being like hey, how's it going to do some card magic for you?
By the way, Mark Dex exists.
All right, let's just take a card.
I'm going to stare very hard at the back of it.
Don't worry about why I'm going to do a
Quinn couple heatless reading for you now.
All right. So now, this is the point in the episode where they explain the four
to us. Thank you. And the four players are four different ways
of perceiving. This is her
her phrasing perceiving
intuitive information. If all
the four players aren't
intuition, that word don't
mean what you think. I must
admit before she explained what
the class, well, I assumed the
full class, which is for the
goofs that we haven't met yet. So I thought it was very
strange that he was claiming to be looking to open the full Claire's up.
There's no way there's not like 19 Claire's on the goop staff.
And a bunch of carons.
Is this where we get the drawing, the auras and crayon as somehow?
Yes, we did have some.
Sciencey stuff.
Yeah.
And Clarence.
She's just like, yeah, so, you know, I feel like you guys have questions.
So here I'll prove it.
Dave drew Karen's aura in crayon.
And as you can see, he would have so one color it will.
Well, exactly.
Yeah.
How would he, but he totally got it right.
There you go.
And what?
Oh God. And what he says, this is Tellt in that guy. He says, her whole lower body was pink.
And so, all right, keep that to yourself, you perverse.
Come on.
Oh, and then they also have this another great amazing fucking example that they give
of how full of shit they are. They have the bit where everybody's trying in the class is trying to paint what's underneath the tin foil. I love this so much
because you know, thing like she's got like a picture on the canvas. She's covered
in tinfoil. Well, if you want them to be psychic, don't use tinfoil. Tinfoil prevents
psychic powers.
Really?
Yeah. Right. You need to put a lot of money in the toilet. You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet.
You need to put a lot of money in the toilet. You need to put a lot of money in the toilet. You need to put a lot of money in the toilet. You need to put a lot of money in the toilet. You need to put a lot of money in the toilet. You need to put a lot of money in the toilet. and they don't show us when everyone drew. They do not know. No, I want to point out, and this is one that I'm sure Eli knows, and probably Marish knows
as well, the picture was three pyramids, right?
You go with a simple geometric picture there, because if you draw a shoe, it's super fucking
obvious that no one else drew shoe.
But if you do something like triangle, there are so many possible things someone could draw
that you'd be like, oh, I was getting the triangle, right?
Yeah, yeah, and it's pyramids with a sunset in the background as well.
Yeah, anybody drew the sun that also accounted.
Yeah, exactly.
And the tree in the foreground.
Literally, the most common psych forces.
I expected like a car and a cow and a dog and a flower and the rose.
The number seven and the people, the people
true things to start with them. Is that the alphabet and all the numbers? Is that a
Ouija board? Wow. And I love, we get a little more of Anna's skepticism here because Anna
asks this such a great question that I totally believe was from an honest place,
right? Because Anna has obviously spent the day with people being like, look, I'm making the feather
float with my mind and her being like, mine's not working. She asks her. She's like, okay, but like,
maybe some people are in psychic and Laurel then is like, no, everyone's fucking psychic. And Anna's
like, okay, but what about deaf people?
Deaf people can't hear.
Maybe I'm just psychic deaf.
Please let me go home.
No, I have to bully you more.
Yeah, I don't ask the psychic.
Is it possible not to have this?
And the psychic basically says,
well, I mean, it's possibly be a stupid bitch.
If that's what you're asking,
is that what else here is stupid bitch?
Yeah, exactly.
And by the way, eventually they get around to telling us the four
players here, which I'm going to, I'm going to list them, but only
because I want you to understand how bad they were at coming up
with players. All right. So the first one is clear
avoidance. That's the gimmie, right? That's seeing images. Now,
also clear audience. Yeah. No, but that's hearing voices.
Claire sentience, which is recognizing feelings.
And boy, did they give up on this one?
Claire cognizance, which is just knowing shit.
Just, you just know.
But like, those are the three clothes,
so-besets of clothing.
That's exactly what I've been saying. Exactly, these are the three clas, so sets of clas, no. That says what I've been saying exactly.
These are such shitty clairs.
We would make such better clairs, Marsh.
If it was up to us to come up with the four fucking clas,
our clas would be goddamnos.
I really want to like a cl, like a clan knows me
a kind of thing of like, they can smell from the inside.
They can smell better people.
Yeah, and clair tasting.
How do they not just use all the,
it skipped a couple senses?
Yeah. Yeah, right. I want How do they not just use all the skip to a couple of senses? Yeah.
Yeah. Right. I want Claire proprioception or something.
So yeah. And by the way, she's explaining to them how to be psychic. Now, this is amazing because you come across this advice so often if you read the books on how to do tarot readings
or how to do, you know, not the not the how to do aot readings or how to do, you know, not the, not the how to do a cold reading, how to do a hot reading magic books, but the bullshit
magic with the K books, you come across this advice constantly, which is just fake it
over and over again.
And sometimes it'll work, right?
Just pretend that you're psychic every time you try to be psychic and once in a while, it'll
work.
That's the actual advice that they give right here.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She says you can start off with like a one and with time and practice, you
can stop being such an Anna and become a 10.
The best magic trick in the world works one out of 52 times, right?
Exactly.
All right, well, I'll tell you what, I think we all need to send Anna notes of solidarity
or something.
So we're going to pause for one more quick break, but first let me give Act 3 the hard
cell.
Will one of the group staff members accidentally prove that just random guessing matches
Laura's hit rate?
Will Laura use that evidence that she's a fraud as proof that she has magic powers?
What a fuck didn't we join the dark side?
Find out the answers to these questions and more when we return for the prestige of
the Guplab.
Could have sold a candle that smells like my dick.
So better funded than us.
I went for a charity.
Hi, we're the four players.
I'm Claire Liecheneau, the least fortally named Claire.
I led the Flying Tigers in World War II back when this could still be a man's name, kind
of.
And I'm Claire McCaskill, the only Democratic senator from Missouri.
Remember me?
I was, I was actually kind of kick ass, no?
I'm Claire Danes, you know my name, but where from?
Go on, try to make a mental picture. Can't do it. Homeland, I'm Claire Danes. You know my name, but where from? Go on.
Try to make a mental picture.
Can't do it.
Homeland.
I'm from homeland.
There you go.
Now you got me.
And of course, I'm the most famous Claire of all.
The jewelry place at the mall where your sister got an ear infection because a teenager pierced
a rear with a pricing gun.
The four Claire's.
Now you're psychic.
Or some shit. Let me get a cinabon. And we're
back for still more of this shit. We're gonna open back up on the couch interview where
Gwynny who clearly knows your audience asks Lord to assure everybody that the paranoid terrors they have about what their children just got into are not psychic
dark
really dark what if it's like what so what if for a friend I'm asking for a friend what if my friend gets a
Premanition that my kid my friends kid is gonna die
kid is going to die. And Laura's like, oh shit, you, that's not in the script. Um, did
any of your kids die? No, then you did it wrong. Well, I love her answer because she's
clearly gotten that question before, right? And she says, no, no. So what I've noticed is that if it comes through with emotion, it's not genuine, it's not a genuine psychic
thing. If it makes you afraid, you're just being paranoid. So is it then impossible
to intuit shit that would scare you? Right? Like, what if your kids are going to die
then?
Doesn't it lullaby come through with emotion? Because like all of the people you're doing
reading for keep crying and things. There's lots of different options. I can't think of an interaction with a dead relative
that wouldn't bring up some of the options. Completely placid. Like, hey, yeah,
nice to hear for you again, grandma. Yeah, it was rough at the end, wasn't it?
No, they had kind of money now in that level of plasticity.
Hey, grandma, who was the actor? Who is there? There it is.
Okay, thank you.
Thank you.
Grandma, just to check, do you have a birthday coming up soon?
I can go with that part.
All right, and now we cut back to psychic class.
And everybody is, what's it doing now?
Is they're sharing objects that have some personal meaning with one another?
And then the other person is trying to like
psychically intuit what the picture means and all this stuff. We start off again beating
up on Anna for not being psychic.
A little note on psychometry, by the way, which is what this is called in the magic universe.
And this is one of my favorite stories of inside magic. So there was a super famous mentalist who for years had this very famous psychometrary teen that
he could do. You could do it anywhere and it required no electronics. And he finally
published it a couple of years ago. And his answer was this scene. He was just like, I mean,
look at the shit and just make guesses, man. People want you to be right. So yeah, okay. So we have the one person in the class that did well, right,
after editing. And we're really going to drill down on this. So her coworker gave her
a picture of a dog and she's talking about this picture of this dog, right? And she's
like, I get an M and I see a sisterly relationship and loss and all this other stuff, right?
Yeah, and I love that.
And like, it feels like a sisterly relationship.
And I'm like, what?
The dog was like, what?
I was just sister a dog.
That really an amazing hit if you manage that.
Yeah.
And the other thing is, like, it's really clear what she's trying to do because she's
looking at this, like, painting of a dog and she's saying, it feels like this is something
given to you, but it wasn't meant to be sentimental, but it became sentimental when you lost something.
I don't know what it is that you might have lost. And she's clearly trying to edge at the
dog's dead. She's very clearly got on. It isn't that the dog's dead. It's really clear she's
gone for dead dog here. What she's aiming for dead dog.
So here's what I thought, here was my assumption is that these two work in the same fucking
office, right?
So what it ultimately comes out down to is that this chick's brother recently died and
this picture was something that he gave her sister or something like that.
So she like, come on, like, what are the odds that you wouldn't know that a person in
like in your, you know, whatever, 25 people who work are the odds that you wouldn't know that a person like in your you know
Whatever 25 people who work at this company that you wouldn't know that they just recently lost a sibling
She clearly thought it was the sister not the brother. Yeah, right when she was talking about a sisterly relationship
She's like oh fuck it was your brother who died that's very clearly what's happening so much so that they have to have this whole bit
We're like a dwee the one she's doing the reading for the one that gave her the picture of the dog
is like, yeah, we work together, but like we've only been in two meetings together in
the last month.
And I love that as well, because I wanted to carry on and say like, although in fairness,
one of those meetings was the time I brother gave me this picture and the second meeting
of my brother died.
So in fact, actually, now that I'm proud of. He's a real problem.
Also, when she's doing her weird and like she, I think, is a shut-eye, so she's not doing
it super well.
But when she's doing the weird shut-eye moment, she's like, it was like an avoidable death.
And when brothers die, it's avoidable.
He walks out into traffic and just waits for a train to hit him.
Okay, that one, that was a voyeur. That one right there.
Oh, there's a great moment as well, because she says like the M thing, although what she says is,
I keep getting something with an M. I keep hearing an M come up and then we cut heavily.
So anything could have happened in that cut. And then she says, I don't know if it's a name or a
city or something with an M. And then we find out that the dog and the dog name was muffin.
And when we find out the dog name is muffin, we cut to Messery raising their eyebrow.
And it's like, yeah, you're not allowed to judge what an acceptable M name is.
You have you've fallen in that right.
You're sitting with the name Messery.
Also, this is Kelly who did the reading, right?
Who did the like looked at the dog picture.
She's jabbing herself in the eye so hard,
trying to get tears during the segment.
It's so fun.
She finally gets like one little tear
and they zoom in on it from 19 angles.
It's the best.
And so Kelly was the one who early described herself
as medium curious, which I guess she's trying to say
means I'm like interested in psychic,
but it just sounds like, yeah,
I'm gonna guess I'm medium curious. I'm like interested in psychic, but it just sounds like, yeah, I'm going to guess I'm medium curious.
I'm like one step above in tree.
And all of a sudden it's like genuinely interested.
So yeah, and then we cut back to the couch interview here where Laura, you know, like takes
umbridges the fact that people, you know, say that psychics are all frauds because all
the ones that have ever been tested turned out to be, and she's also not offering
to take any tests or prove it or anything, right? And again, everything that she says when
she's sort of talking about how all this works, the way it's edited, it's so heavily edited,
she sounds less real than Carrie Fisher did in the last Star Wars film. It's more of a
cutting-shape job than that. Maybe that's it. Maybe Laura is actually dead and they've reconsent.
That was the wrong footage.
I love to.
She basically says at a certain point, she's like, you know, look, if I wasn't me, I think
I was full of shit too.
I'm obviously there's no evidence.
There's no reason for you to believe.
And then they start saying stuff like and they try to hide behind this again.
This is where I diverge with Marsh and believed that Julie
Pichelle is consciously full of shit in her claims because she starts talking about how
like, you know, look, the only person that can judge the validity of a psychic reading
is you, the person that the reading is for because it might be a, you know, a in joke or something
like that. And therefore, there's no way to like objectively measure this.
Well, yes, the fuck there is, right?
Because you can just have those people like,
okay, here are the lists of claims that the psychic made.
How many of those are correct?
How many of those would be correct?
Like all of that, even if, even if for some fucking reason,
her psychic abilities don't have the ability to like,
ask the goddamn ghost how they died right and verify
that or not. Then yes, it could fucking be measured. This is not an insurmountable problem.
I just I want to set them up with like fantasy psychic and have them do a whole season and it's
just like, oh, we all tied. Everybody. We took, we took, we took a lot of, we crunched a lot of stats.
We all fucking tie.
Crazy.
Again, this season, unbelievable.
All right.
So now, wait, but now it's time for Lord of face off against her arch nemesis, a person
with the fairest hint of skepticism.
And she always is by being like, oh, I'm really excited to read for you.
And let me just say to Laura's credit, I have said that to the guy who spent the entire
time in my magic show shouting out, oh, I did all my tricks.
So I really felt for Laura.
And he's like, oh, this will be fun.
Oh, by the way, greatest magic trick ever incoming.
Don't want to spoil it.
Greatest magic trick ever.. Don't want to spoil it. Greatest magic trick.
Yeah, that is absolutely true. But we, for a second here, we see that like, all right, she's about
to read Anna the skeptic. And then we cut back to the couch with Gwyneth and Elise. And Laura's
like, yeah, so I read Anna scrimmage just to be clear.
Well, and you can see your sadness up right away, right?
It's like the way that like the fucking stage hypnotist talks about how only really creative
people can be hypnotized, you know, or whatever.
Laura says, look, I understand why you doubt it.
It sounds too good to be true, right?
It's like, no, it's the fact that every time it's been tested, it failed.
Right?
But she's like, I know you don't want to believe that your family and everyone
that you've ever loved is still alive and that you get to meet your long lost puppy
when you die, right? Right?
Well, what she's responding to there is Anna being like, yeah, you're like Santa Claus
except you charge like thousands of dollars.
And Laura's like, I know I am too good to be true.
I know it's true.
Yeah, right.
Right.
Because Laura's point here is just because Santa sounds fake.
Doesn't mean he isn't a full grown adult with a driver's license.
Push up contest.
We're not doing that.
All right.
So Laura gets into our reading first strike. She says, this is amazing. What's your contest? We're not doing that. All right.
So Laura gets into our reading first strike.
She says, this is amazing.
Are there twins in the family?
And when that's a no, she goes, or maybe a Gemini birthday?
So her first guess is someone in your family was born between May 21st and June 21st
or there were twins somewhere in your family and it's
a miss.
Yeah.
And she even on the Gemini thing, she even expands that because she says, is there a
Gemini birthday?
Is that June?
So she's kind of trying to loop in all of June.
Also, the rest of June.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you're taking in like one ninth of the year.
Basically, at this point, and still not an exception.
If there were twins anywhere in the history of your family,
I'm a, a Romulus and Remus, I think I'm related to.
I'm getting a month with an E. Did you have?
Because that was an extra thing. Yeah.
But for those keeping scored home, by the way, we've just proven beyond any reasonable
doubt that this woman is not psychic, right? Like that's a pretty big fucking category and she missed.
Or did we? Okay. And then she says, and this is an amazing mess here. She says, were there women
in your mom's side of the family who died? Ever? And the answer is still no. Right. She said, well, I don't my mom, you know,
make me her, her, her mom's still alive and she didn't have any sisters. There was even
a moment where she's like, well, maybe your, maybe your mom's aunt, your grandma's sister,
she's like, my grandma didn't have a sister. No, we're immortal Amazon's. We all are still
alive in your face. The way out and out is it down is just brutal because she's saying I'm getting like someone
from Laura center. I'm getting someone from like a generation over so it's like your grandma's
sister and I was like, okay, so you mean like my grandma or my mother's side? Okay, and
you mean someone who's passed? Okay, well, no, not that thing. Yeah, absolutely not.
I think I can tell you it isn't that.
And Laura's just going, wow, it's so weird that all these ghosts that you've never met
or heard of are showing up and you're reading, right?
Oh, I really want to mess with you. This is cool.
This is cool.
This way it was a scousing hex in a way from an episode of P-reason.
Speaking of which, the thing about the great aunt reminded me of a story, the last
story out of a psychic that I saw in Liverpool.
And it was amazing.
The stick for this psychic was that they get the person up on stage with them and they'd
have a couch and they'd have like a little sit down sort of gentle conversation.
And so she gets, she finds one of the audience that she's connected with.
And this lady stands up and she needs help out of her seat.
And then she sort of totters all to the stage with her walking stick and she needs
help up onto the stage. And she taught us away onto the stage. This kind of grey-haired
lady who sits down and the psychics first line to her is, so why am I getting that on
the other side? There's a grandmother who's passed. I don't know because Mike from the civil life and she's 127 right now.
And even older ladies slowly just shuffled her way onto the stage.
Okay, your grandmother, a sarcophagus opens, rises out of the chair.
And is this where she goes, goes hard on just a bunch of guesses in a row and they all
don't work?
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay, I'm getting you really kind of, all right, fine, fine, I'm doing new stuff, new stuff.
Donkeys.
No.
Shrek.
Shrek.
Do you like Shrek?
Really?
Oh, next to the country.
It's a fucking great movie. No, no, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh podcasts and I listen to pointed out that Anna is spelled it and it, which is specifically the Hispanic spelling of the
name Anna. So they're pretty close to Mexico and she's got a Hispanic name. It's equivalent
of doing a reading for Eli and saying, so has anyone you've family been to Israel at
any point?
Oh, but but and of course, no, no, no, right?
And no matter what she says, but then here comes the save.
Here comes the turn.
It turns out that this whole time she was actually accidentally reading the plant that was
just off camera.
And look, magician to magician, that's a fucking great trick.
The dramatic structure, fantastic.
You deal with the skeptic problem.
And also, you can heart read the shit out of a camera person,
right, because I'm sure the goop labs were like,
no, science, don't talk to Anna, no Googling.
But I'm sure she was allowed to sit there
while she was getting mic'd up and was just like,
so are you excited for your wedding?
And fucking crying, sad crysad cry was like,
oh yeah, my grandpa kept talking about
donkeys before he died.
And she was just like,
I'm gonna write this down real quick.
I know it's weird,
but I'm gonna write this down.
It's so fucking good.
Except, here's the only problem.
It's a great magic trick.
It just just proves her shitty thing.
Yeah.
Right, if this was a magic special
and she was like, how did we do it?
I'd be like, ah, except the problem is the implication of this is that Anna's family
hates her and didn't want to talk to her. Was that Anna is finally seeing a psychic? No,
just tell that skeptical bitch. I do not want to.
You want to just watch like a boring mundane conversation with your dead relative and
Ana just being like, oh, hey, hey, you want to order food or cool.
You're cream others telling me that the weather has been crazy lately.
The weather.
Yeah, yeah.
So do you fly back through dimensions for this? telling me that the weather has been crazy late. The weather. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
So did you fly back through dimensions for this?
I feel like wait until you have something.
If you're going to just wait until you have something
significant, something impactful.
Great.
How's hell?
All right.
So now we cut back to the couch.
So our bullshit PhD can cap this all off.
We're she weird. This is where she says that science is only one way of knowing that the
correct way, but she didn't it doesn't add, but yes, it's only one way. I want to know
the other ways of knowing. There's clear. There's clear. There's a whole range of questions. There's also double science, quintuple science.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Laura goes to this boy.
She's like, look, I've been accused of a horrible things.
Hard cut.
End of scene.
What?
Let's go back. To be fair though, like she spent a lot of her life with people being like, I saw you
inside the dollux armor.
So I get why she's.
That's a harsh thing.
Also, is this where the PhD lady complains that she can't get any grant money for her
bullshit?
She's like, yeah, I asked for money to fucking study the upside down from stranger things
on the other side of the paper.
And I can get shit.
Yeah, that's the thing about bullshit.
It's underfunded.
Yeah.
And it's definitely the point where the PhD lady does not in any way point out that all
of what we're talking about was done with absolute, you know, controls.
And if I was a good scientist, you actually cared about the truth here.
I'd be pointing that out right now, but nobody because it agreed with her.
It's almost to she's got some sort of ideological investment, blinding her from criticizing
things that are on her side.
Yeah.
Well, and then fucking Caitlin shows up.
Now, Caitlin was the one psychic, the person who we saw the psychic reading for early in
the show, the one that did fairly well of the 12 or whatever.
So Caitlin shows up to give us a Pascal's wage or justification, right? for early in the show, the one that did fairly well of the 12 or whatever. So Kaylin shows
up to give us a Pascal's wage or justification, right? Basically, she says, you know, maybe
this is bullshit or maybe it's not, but there's certainly no harm in me feeling more connected
to my mother. I'm like, well, unless Laura charges for these classes or anything, Jesus
fucking Christ. And then she gives it like, there's a bit where like Laura tries to wrap this up with her
closing wisdom.
It was just deep, pop level bullshit words.
I couldn't even write it down.
The fucking paper clip showed up and just kept erasing behind me like the goddamn robot
in Wally, you know.
But and then we get this great little clothes where Gwen asks,
who will be present?
She turns to the psychic and she says,
all right, well, who will be present in 2020?
Uh-huh.
That's coming.
Hard cut end of episode.
It's gonna be Donald Trump, you idiot.
Doesn't, the other one doesn't take office until 2021, but.
Could be Pence.
Well, yeah, no, it depends on how the second impeachment goes.
But yeah, but but but like she asked that and they all chuckle chuckle like the end of a fucking Scooby-Doo episode and
Quink and the episode before anybody has to explain that oh, no, no, she can't predict verify.
Oh shit.
It's the best.
Gwyneth asked, yeah, who's gonna be president 2020? They
pan over to Laura. And she's like, right? Totally.
So bomb.
All right. So you know what? I feel like we should all test out our psychic powers at the end
of this episode. Gentlemen, I'll correct the fucking question.
Who will be president in February of 2021?
Vladimir.
All right.
So, so he's going with same, same guy as now.
Timothy Ryan.
The only president to ever be elected with zero.
Yeah, I think it's a trick question.
I don't think you'll have a government in 2021.
That's not a good tip.
I would get the premise of that question.
Yeah, no, at a certain point,
fucking Putin's gonna cross the Rubikot.
Yeah.
I mean, based on the information in this episode,
it'll also be Marianne Williamson somehow.
All right. So that's gonna do it for our review of the Goop Lab. Are you into it, but that's
not going to do it for the episode just yet because we still need the validation. Some strangers
more. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. I'm getting a G or a W. It's definitely, it's definitely
a love story. No, actually, it's definitely a love story.
No, actually it's Jerusalem countdown.
Jerusalem countdown exactly the actual love.
Eli does smell that with a GNW.
No, you're right.
You're right.
He does.
All right.
So with that, look forward to, we're gonna bring up
episode 236 to a merciful close.
Once again, a huge thanks to all the Patreon donors
that helped make the show go.
If you'd like to catch something among their ranks,
you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com.
So I got off of them there by your early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help us a ton by leaving us a five star review and sharing the show go. If you'd like to catch something among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash God awful. And thereby you're in early access
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You can also help us a ton by leaving us a five star review
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Timber opposite to here of our social media,
our theme song is written and performed by Brian Slotnik
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All other music was written and performed by our audio
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Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week
for Heath and right, Neely Bosnick.
I'm No Illusions, promise to work harder,
and all the chunk next week until then.
We'll leave you with a breakfast club close.
Eli Noah and Marsh went on to get jobs at Goop
and eventually ruin season two of the Goop Lab
in the best long
con ever.
Here's what we have to do that.
Judy Byshel went on to improve her super scientific phone call test by not doing the phone
call and just taking the psychics word for it.
I blinded myself!
Sex double blind.
Lindsay's grandpa's ghost started fucking his ghost donkey more discreetly after that day
Eli stole Laura's magic trick and pitched it to every single magician he works for because it's the best revenge he can think of
Eli's way behind in my
Yeah, actually can try that again?
It's not that I missed it.
I just feel like I did my own count.
That would be the stupid thing.
You don't feel like that's missing it?
No, I don't.
Yeah, okay, he missed it.
Yeah.
Or the signal got better.
You got, you're not.
Yeah, you're not going to be.
Also, it could have been that.
You knew that was going to happen it could have been that science is one
way of knowing things like here we go this company is worth
billions of dollars and millions so much more than ours
yeah why are we good? Why don't you just say like?
You're obviously like.
You're obviously like.
You're obviously like.
You're obviously like.
You're obviously like.
What's this middle name?
What letter does this middle name start with?
Ab, we could be damn fra.
Hey, where do we am?
We am astrophysics. Oh, I'm going to be a man. I'm going to be a man.
I'm going to be a man.
I'm going to be a man.
I'm going to be a man.
I'm going to be a man.
I'm going to be a man.
I'm going to be a man.
I'm going to be a man.
I'm going to be a man.
I'm going to be a man.
I'm going to be a man.
I'm going to be a man.
And I don't have it. I'm like, oh, good. Oh, good.
But
preceding podcast was a production of puzzling a thunderstorm LLC cap.
Right 2020 all rights reserved.