God Awful Movies - 284: The Healing Field
Episode Date: January 26, 2021This week, Michael Marshall joins us for a skeptical review of The Healing Field, the story of nonsense on a stick. --- Check out more from Marsh on Be Reasonable and Skeptics with a K --- If you’...d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Yeah, this lady came to me. She had a stroke and her brain was dead. Oh, God, you fuck you in the spot so much.
I want some stories of bio-healing going wrong. That's when you'd fucking convince me, right?
If she had been like, so I'd placed my hands on either side of her head and it just exploded. It exploded because I was thinking about dynasty
and how I didn't really like how the plot's been sort of focused on the younger couples
lately and yep she just vaporized into a blue mess so gay. You gotta watch it with this shit. OOVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII He says, my bad friend Eli Bosnick, Eli, how are you this fine afternoon, sir? Well, I'm glad you asked Noah because I find myself fatigued.
I would say chronically any chances today might have some answers in store.
Yeah, that and your chronic Lyme disease.
But, you know, I can't help you there, but perhaps our gas massacres can.
He is the project director for the Good Thinking Society.
He's the president of the Mercy Science skeptics. He's the host to be reasonable. He's the co host to skeptics
with a K. He's the editor of the skeptic and he's somehow still the skeptic of the year.
Interesting. He's Michael Marshall. Marsh. Welcome back to the show, sir. I gave out a
wall to fair and square. That's in the Brazil now. That is right. Don't you rise on the online thing that so so many fewer people attended you did
to Miguel Marcel. It's just Martian a must. All right, so tell us, Marsh, what will we be
breaking down today? Oh God, we watched the healing fields. It's the documentary about how epigenetics, quantum physics,
and Albert Einstein all agree that you can cure cancer
by imagining really hard and walking really, really funny.
Yeah.
Yes, epigenetics agrees.
And you know, how bad was this movie?
Well, if you love time share pitches, but you've never been surprised by one.
Halfway through an algebra lesson, you will love this movie.
I think more boring documentaries should do this, right?
Like halfway through whatever public safety film they show you at work, they should just
be like Coca-Cola.
Ah, refreshing.
That's so...
Yeah, oh God, nothing like another rambling documentary
of talking heads through and shit against the wall
to try to talk about.
Oh.
All right, so is there anything you guys want to nominate
this one for being the best of being the worst at?
Oh yeah, I've got to be right out first there and say,
best worst getting value for money from a single 3D animation. Heck yeah, they did. All the way through
this movie, there is one animation of a bold 3D man, saloly spinning, mostly to his left,
occasionally to his right and they use it every other scene of this film. They call it
different ways, they put a different filter over it, but it's the same model. He's got
different like lights emanating out of his shock resistance, but to try to disguise, it's like
they keep putting the same character in a different suit through the movie or something.
Yeah, it felt a little bit like they were just defying the bullshit based on what different
color they could apply to this model. Is that right? If you don't color them red, what
could we say that is? Is that a good cap? We'll find a chakra expert. We've got a red one now.
Roichi Biv, guys, we have to have seven different powers. All right. So I was going to go with
best worse fat white guy in a tang suit. So if you're not familiar with the term, the tang suit,
that's that that's like the traditional old school Chinese suit with the like not buttons and shit in the straight
collar. Anyway, there are a couple of different white guys and fucking cultural appropriators
out there who are dressed in this. But one guy is wearing one that obviously he got when
he was 24 and it's fine just then, you know, so why the hell would he buy a new one?
This one is still perfectly good.
I'm going to go ahead and make a bold claim.
If you're a white guy wearing a tank suit, I'm going to guarantee you did something wrong.
There's I cannot think of a good reason for a white guy to wear a tank suit.
Well, like the only first match springs to mind who'd wear one is Steven Segal.
And isn't he currently like exiled in Russia for various different things?
Yeah, I'm just saying.
Although I want to be the first to say, Marsh would rock a fucking tang suit.
Right?
Oh, drunk post-QED just running around in a tang suit.
I'll karate fight all of you.
Yeah, well, I'll just do something wrong and get myself a suit and we'll just fit right into this
analogy.
Right.
Exactly.
And I wanted to go with best worst confluence of bullshit.
Listen podcast listener, we've watched a lot of pseudoscience and we've read and reported
on even more over in our sister show, The Skaving Atheist.
What we haven't done is visited the contradictory bullshit buffet.
Right.
That is this fail.
I think there's so little reason for the also,
because it's like, yes, you can cure all disease
by sitting there and imagining stuff.
And you can also do it using, like,
why would I need an also?
Yes.
Why would I want to add to that?
There's the guy who does the magic walk to cure everything?
And that's just one of the different magic walk
you can do to cure everything.
He'll don't learn a second one then.
Right, you know what I'm saying?
I certainly don't need to bring tuning forks
into this shit.
So, all right, well I'll tell you what,
yeah, we're gonna need a minute to warm up
our electric monks.
So we're gonna pause for a quick break,
but when we return, we'll dive into the somehow
not quite criminal advice that is the healing field.
Hey podcast, Lister.
I have no illusions.
And I'm Eli Bosnick.
Do you love this podcast, but wish there was more of it?
Well, good news.
There is 54 episodes more.
That's right.
And you can listen to them all by giving us as little
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never been a better time to sign up to support because this month's upcoming bonus episode is none other than Wonder Woman 1984. It's
got magic rocks. It's got tinfoil armor and it's got me doing a golf ado impression.
It's, it's your Melania voice, isn't it? You bet your ass. It is no illusions. You bet
your ass. And if you want access to that, the second it comes out,
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and toss us what you can.
You'll get that one,
54 movies we've already done,
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Extra stuff for you,
not starving to death for us.
All right, everyone, welcome to the first production
meeting for the healing field.
Ray! Namaste. Greg, you can't just say namaste. I can too. I can. Okay. Okay. Everyone. So the the goal with this film is to give an overview of the different sorts of energy healing and their
benefits. Well, an imagery healing. Right. and imagery healing. And sound healing?
Yes, and sound healing.
And don't forget Cheekong, obviously.
Right, right, which kind of brings me to my first point,
which is, what are all of these things
that we're talking about, haven't common?
Oh, they heal people?
No, that's right, they do.
But not in the same way.
And not even according to the same worldview, it would be like making a documentary called
medicine that went over brain surgery, chemotherapy, and exercise.
Yeah, no, I guess that's right.
Oh, what about their ancient Chinese origins?
Now, that's only two of them.
I mean, Phil just made up his imagery thing
on a trip to Israel.
It's true, I did.
Oh, yeah, damn it.
Come on, guys, there's gotta be something
that ties all of this together,
something that we can center the movie around.
What does all of our stuff have in common?
It's homicidally dangerous bullshit.
There it is, that's the movie.
That's it, well done, Greg, well done.
No, I'm gonna stay.
Okay.
Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh We're back for the breakdown. I'm gonna start off on bad electronic. Good, just in case you didn't already hate it. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
there was an ad for this on Amazon Prime for a dog thing
that I wish I was watching instead.
So bad, so bad.
Why did I hit skip ad?
God damn it, that's the most fun I was gonna have.
Yeah, so we start off on this nonsense.
It's like, we live in a time of accelerating breakthroughs
in science, check, medicine, check, and consciousness.
Yeah, coming in. And it's great because it goes with consciousness, they show a lot of
shakras on the screen. I thought, has there been a lot of breakthroughs in shakras lately?
Yeah. So do you know that that massive tunnel under Switzerland that discovered a new shakra?
So fucking stupid. Yeah,
the opening thesis of this movie is that surgery and drugs are being challenged by literal
hand waving. And they make that out like that's progression like they cut straight from
doctors and surgery to someone getting her tummy rubbed by rakey. As an example of progress,
we've gone from this problem to this futuristic and
progressive medicine of tummy robs. Turns out you don't need any of those machines or the walls.
All you need is one of these paper screen things and you can get those at beer one. They're great.
Yeah. So, okay. So, of course, this is another one he's talking head documentary. So, we're
going to meet a series of wool merchants, the first of which is Bruce Lipton, whose own website describes him as quote, an internationally recognized leader
in bridging science and spirits. I have padded resumes less ashamedly than Dr. Bruce Lipton
has his intro quote. They're talking about he's a very serious doctor with degrees, blah, blah, blah, but he's
not wearing shoes.
Right.
Where a man is not wearing, I don't care who the doctor at Dr. Falsy comes out next week
for his little speech thing and he's not wearing shoes.
I don't buy anything he said.
It makes me think that the director had a struggle getting him to wear pants as well. It's like, come on, man. Okay, we're not going to shoot you from the
waist up. They describe him as well as a preeminent scientist in quantum physics, DNA and stem
cell biology. And those aren't closely linked fields at all. And if anybody claims to be
an expert in all three of those fields, they are definitely a crank.
You can't be an expert reading all three of those.
Oh, and just in case you had any doubts, he goes in and we all had notes on this.
I noticed that where he goes and he says something like, um, there are two competing theories
on how biology works.
One of them is based on reality.
And I'm like, okay, we're done, right?
We're done.
Yeah.
I wrote my notes.
One is based on the actual things in the universe.
Mine is the other. There are two views. One is that the body is made of chemicals,
matter, and genes. The other view is literally anything other than that and therefore crazy.
But he also believes that our beliefs completely dictate our biology and it's not our DNA,
it's our beliefs that dictate our biology.
Yes.
And thing is, my sister was born with several palsies.
So she must have had some fucked up beliefs when she was a fetus.
She was thinking all sorts of crazy stuff.
Ever since the heartbeat was detectable.
Yeah.
Right.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
And there was some, he defines quantum physics for us here. This is
the definition that he gives. Everything is energy and energy becomes entangled and you
can't separate it. And like, yep, that is a definition of quantum physics that many
physicists would all are. I love how he, he digs into that a bit further as well. He explains
that he says, you know, energy becomes entangled, meaning everything that's made out of energy becomes entangled. You
might be clarified yourself, but you just repeat yourself. Come on.
All right. We'll be back to him several times, but first we have to meet Dr. Beverly Rubik,
her website, DubsHurray, quote, internationally recognized. they're all internationally recognized, internationally recognized pioneer in subtle energy research.
Yeah, and when I saw her, I thought, oh, that's what Beverly Crusher from next generation's
up to these days.
I'm glad that she's landed on a feast.
Oh, there's a lot of trakiss thing.
I'll be really pissed about that.
But yes, I have her down in Starter Crusher, the entire, all through all through my notes
here.
Okay.
But there's, it's just a tiny moment when they introduce her.
They've got her with a microscope because, you know, look, she's real, but she's pantomiming
wrong.
She's twiddling the knob too far in the interaction.
So she's just, she's like zooming in.
As a little, what are you looking at?
Energy, but second of all, she's moving it too fast.
There's not using it.
Yeah, unless you're trying to zoom in on Ant-Man,
there is no reason to ever do that with a microscope.
She's like, Microsoft goes up,
Microsoft goes down, Microsoft goes up,
Microsoft goes down, yeah, exactly.
But the thing is, we're seeing her do that
because when we see that kind of thing,
it's the only break and respite we get in this film from the relentless barrage of stock footage, which is what the rest of this film's
made up of.
I genuinely think few companies have done more detriment and harm to like international
global health than I stock.com for their affordably priced stock videos that have to make up all
of his bullshit.
On last week's show, we said cameras should be hard to get a hold of.
On this week's show, it's stuck for it.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the key.
All right.
So yeah, Beverly though, as apparently she works for the Institute for Frontier Science,
that sounds sinister to me.
Like, frontier science sounds a lot less like pushing the boundaries and a lot more like
handing out the small
box blank. That's it. So yeah, but now, but she gives medicine her due. It's not that medicine is
useless. It's great if you get to a car accident or something visible is wrong with you.
Right, which might as well be her way of saying, please stop bringing me people who have been in car accidents.
You know my stuff isn't.
Come on.
But this is such a classic quack gambit.
This is where they are now, because they can no longer get away with saying all medicine
is bad, which is what they're used to be the ultimate thing.
So instead, they say, well, obviously medicine's good for trauma and broken bones and surgery
et cetera.
And then in their very next breath, I wrote in my notes, they'll be claiming that medical error
is the third leading cause of death.
Yup.
Yes, what she says next.
It's the same fucking thing.
It's exactly that.
She says medical error is one of the number one causes of death.
Is that how many, how many number one causes of death on that?
I don't know, but.
Yeah, yeah.
But then she drops this bar amount of. She tells us that like unlike what Western medicine
will tell you, people need to take care of their own health. That's what we learned from
integrative medicine. Yeah. As a fat guy, let me tell you, Western medicine has never told me
to take better care of myself. Right. So United healthcare people knock on my window every morning
and they're like, come on, man, an apple one apple today
Like random passes by tell you today better care of your health. It's not just medicine
But she says about modern medicine that it's it's limited in dealing with diabetes
But that limit is can stop you dying of diabetes
It's not so bad. It's not a bad limit. No. And then she says you need to take better
care of your health, your self-responsibility. So she's saying you should take more self-responsibility
for your having been born with type one diabetes. So why don't you do something about that?
Exactly. Take some fucking self-responsibility for your insulin regulation. God damn it.
You shouldn't eat all that candy in the womb. Yes. All right. And then they, I guess they're out of PhDs now.
So they roll out lin McTaggot on anti-factor who wrote a fucking tag.
Yeah.
This fucking woman wrote a book that blamed death son of vaccine that didn't even exist.
So I know lin McTaggot's work fairly well. So Lynn McTaggot amongst having written
that book and various of the things, she ran a magazine here in the UK called What Doctors
Don't Tell You. And it was filled with all the stuff that no doctor would tell you. And
there's a very good reason that a doctor wouldn't tell you the stuff that was in What Doctors
Don't Tell You. And it was it was genuinely one of the worst things was a glossy magazine.
You'd be available on the shelves of supermarkets. It's no longer available on the shelves of
supermarkets because she's not allowed to sell that magazine on the shelves. She took a voluntary
decision to stop selling that magazine to people who haven't directly subscribed via her website.
It was a voluntary decision to stop putting it where people might buy it. But this magazine,
we've good thinking the character there're for, we spent a long time
raising concerns about this magazine and doing pieces in various newspapers, pointing out how
literally how dangerous this magazine was. This magazine would publish pieces saying that
you can cure your own cancer, don't trust chemotherapy. That really danger a shit.
Wow. I know people who died because they were subscribers to this magazine and this rabbit
hold them into the whole world. But the weird thing about this is despite us having spent ages pointing out all the things that's wrong with what doctors
don't tell you, I've not ever been mentioned in that magazine, right? And the reason that's
weird is in one issue of that magazine, in one single issue, they covered three of the
projects that I was leading, complaining about them, and then attributed them to other people
that I can't believe the BBC did this whole hit piece
on this particular therapist.
And what about the telegraph sending an undercover journalist
over there, and what about Sense about science doing this?
And I read him thinking, that's my work.
You need the debit that I deserve.
Why are you giving this credit to other people?
And the weirdest thing about that is,
like I work for a very small charity.
We had Simon as the chair.
He's been the subject of various hit pieces in that magazine where the legity was been funded by Diet
Koch and various other things. I work with Laura. And she's been the subject of hit pieces
in that magazine. As has Laura's husband, who doesn't do any of this work, who's just worked
through a different company, but they figured Laura can't have been doing that by herself
because she's just a lady. Right. And so it must be her husband who's the pile behind the throne so that it entire hit piece
on Laura's husband who's got nothing to do with the charity.
And I've never been mentioned once and I'm really fucking pissed off about that.
That's the most irritating thing what Dr. Dunn tell you was ever done.
All right.
God damn it, Lynn.
Get your shit together and trash, March.
Yeah.
And we have some good sources for her.
Come on, March did go for dot com.
All right. You guys give me more shit on, march did govin.com. All right.
You like to give me more shit than she ever has.
Yeah, right?
So.
Yeah.
So and then she gives us this ridiculous speech about how the body is holistic because you
can apply medicine to the arm that will affect your leg.
Like for example, like if I shoot more fiend into your arm, suddenly you feel it in your head, right?
Like, what the fuck, yes, we all agree
that the arm is connected to the leg
in a roundabout way.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, there's a whole song about that.
Yeah.
There's an ancient Chinese song.
My favorite quote of hers in this little section is she goes, you don't have to do stuff through your body or anything that you can see. And I wrote in my notes,
I mean, you don't have to live. They can't make you. But the thing is, they've just been
decrying Western medicine for being kind of all filverside effects. They give you all this stuff,
and there's all these side effects.
And then in the next breath,
they're talking about how if you do something to your arm,
it has an effect on your leg.
It sounds, that sounds an awful lot like a side effect, Lynn.
That sounds like your holistic view.
Sounds like side effects to me.
It was a leg effect, totally, totally everything.
Yeah, all right, so now we're gonna meet
Lini Thomas who is a healing touch instructor.
Okay. I have a question. How do you fail? Instruction implies a past fail. How do you fail
at energy medicine? Right? Like if I went to go take a master level test of energy medicine
tomorrow, how would they prove I was not an energy medicine master?
Right. Yeah. So, and she starts off by going like, you know, this is energy healing,
touch and structure and shit. This has been around for a thousand years. I'm like,
why would that be? Is it like no correct thing has been around for a thousand years?
Like, yeah, it's a metallurgy of some sort.
But she's a scry.
She also said the Chinese start documenting it
5,000 years ago.
And presumably she knows that because what,
she's an expert in proto-manderin.
That's a weird time to put on that.
That's so much older than the oldest known Chinese, right?
Yeah, exactly.
She's like, it's general, it's non-evasive.
It doesn't have side effects.
I'm like, well, man, you can mark it.
Nothing with flair, can't you?
Yeah.
And I don't know whether Eli's taken
like a new, a new year's resolution
to not make fun of the way people look.
Cause I'm amazed he's got nothing on any of these people
so far.
Cause I thought Lini Thomas here is very clearly
the aunt who interferes with the wedding plans and your mum's favorite soap.
She's absolutely that.
She definitely had a bit of a wacky neighborish vibe to her.
She looks like they keep her in the basement of boss coves and they feed her all the makeup
bits left over from the day, right, for the free makeovers.
All right. So now we do the awkward bit where we have to introduce the energy healing, super healthy.
You can do it all with your mind, dead lady.
Right.
Oh, she, um, she fucking died right before this movie came out, which is admittedly awkward.
Yeah, of hot disease as well, which is one of the things this movie is explicit about being able to kill with the various things this movie does.
Yep.
Well, you know, shoemaker's children go barefoot that whole thing.
And so her thing about medicine is that Western medicine is because, sorry, that there's no connective tissue there.
Take a cart.
A cart was given dead bodies by the Pope.
Yes.
Yes.
What?
Question one, does the Pope have dead bodies
to give away because I want one for reasons?
Two.
What?
No, well, we know for a fact that the Pope has got dead bodies to get rid of, but we know
that when he has those, he buries them in mass graves and the Irish workhouse.
Well, the least surprising part of that is that the Pope had some dead bodies to offer
a little bit, but yes, all of Western medicine came from the dead bodies that the Pope gave to Descartes.
We really haven't updated it since then.
What the fuck was that?
There's a point in here that she says as well.
The problem with medicine these days is just not enough magic.
It's all about kind of science and materialism, but not enough magic.
And I just wanted the film to cut to Eli and surgery going, was that your spleen? Oh, Jesus. And then they're going to explain epigenetics
to us. They're going to nail it by the way. They're going to nail their ex-wemmase.
And by the way, bold gambit, they introduce their epigenetics by being like, in the future,
everyone will agree with us.
Right now, they think we're full of shit, though.
So, you know, that so often happens with true things
that are true, is that everyone thinks it's full of shit.
And I love that Bruce Lichten is that epigenetics expert,
because if you go to his Wikipedia page,
it lists them as a, as a, as having an expert view
on epigenetics, but his expert view on epigenetics is,
not, uh, yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't exist.
It's something else.
Because he talks about how a cell, depending on its environment, you can take a cell and
it'll develop into different things depending on its environment.
Right.
And that's because it's not about genes, it's about the environmental effect or it's
like, right, but what you're doing that with Bruce is a stem cell.
Yeah. Show me that happening with any of the type of cell and we're talking
Bruce, but you're talking about a stem cell, which is, that it's job is to look what it's
around and mimic it. That's we have. Right, right, exactly, exactly. That's why we call
them that, right? But he implies that you can turn your fucking liver cells into bones
with diet. You just got to push your liver near to your ribs and eventually.
It's got to be in a rib type atmosphere. Yeah. Jesus Christ. And then he uses like, I'm
pretty sure something like 366 words to say something along the lines of,
happy is better for you than terrified. Yeah. Pretty much. Jesus Christ.
We hear from Lynn McTagget here as well, explaining cell biology to go with the various other
things she's not an expert in.
And she told, she says, how can we be entirely driven by our genes?
If one little thing like a vitamin can derail all of your genetic history and you know,
she's absolutely right.
Because I had one single vitamin C supplement and it termined with five foot tall blue eyed Mediterranean hemophilia.
Right. No, I can't end up genetic history.
I don't get it.
Oh,
Yeah, no, there's a game I like to play when we're watching these where I just, where every time
they say quantum physics, I just, it subs to super hippie magic.
Yeah, that'll do it. You can, You can kind of understand what they're saying.
Look, because that's what so much of this is, right?
Everything is just such convoluted,
jargonistic bullshit as you go,
that it's hard to even understand what they just said,
let alone whether or not it was right,
let alone how it was wrong.
Right, right.
Yeah. For example, like there's this one point at which,
in which one of the ladies is going like, now this is what the physicists call the field.
And I'm like, no, no, physicists don't have a term for the bullshit that you're talking
about because they never have to fucking talk about it.
Yeah.
Unless what you're showing is a physicist pointing at the field, like an actual field with
a horse.
That you just said was wrong. Cal goes moon. And England, they call at a field, that can actual feel with a horse that you just said was wrong.
Cow goes moaningly, they call it a pitch, but...
Yeah, she says, the biofield is complex and simple
and a bunch of other fields, and it's light
and it's your brain waves.
And she also says, you know, scientific pioneers
call our non-physical energy field, the biofield.
It's like, yes, but in turn, we call them you know, scientific pioneers call our non physical energy field, the bio field.
So yes, but in turn, we call them something other than scientific pioneers.
What they've said that they lose that terms.
Well, I, look, if this was not correct, I really don't think that they could claim that Einstein
said it.
Okay.
Because if there's one thing I can say about Einstein quotes that I'm not familiar with,
half no sourcing and point only to alternative medicine blogs when I Google them,
it's that they're genuine and taken in context.
Absolutely.
Yes.
Yeah, the only place that I could find that Einstein quote that they're talking about
was where Bruce Lipton had written it.
So it makes me think he's written it himself and then attributed it to Einstein.
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
No, look, I'm allowed to put Einstein's picture next to it.
They won't stop you.
They won't flag that even. And this is a bit where we're not that far in. We've already seen this one 3D
model of a naked person spinning slowly like eight times. And so they start doing different things
to it. This time they're talking about the bio field and they take the initial model and then you put
a red layer over it and then a yellow, a bigger yellow layer over that and then a green layer over
that. And I thought, okay, so the bio fields are like a multi-colored Russian dull situation.
Of God.
We also learn here that bio fields are infinite and they interact with other bio fields.
So I just wrote my notes, hey guys, I'm sorry for all the time I jerked off and weird out
your guys's energy fields.
I didn't realize my life was infinite.
Well, yeah, she seems to have a lot of trouble with collective nouns at this point, right?
Because she's saying, well, but look, if you consider it my field and your field in
her mingle, it's like, stop fucking my field, lady.
But she's like, so that really makes us one thing.
And I'm like, that's not how things work.
Right?
Like, we're all part of we, but that doesn't mean that I'm not.
In that bit as well, she says, we cannot put a boundary on someone's biofield and say
where it stops. And I was like, yeah, but there's lots of things you can't do about the biofield.
Like there's lots of things you can't explain or put boundaries on. Yeah, exactly.
Now, I got to take it. At this point in the movie, I was all in on spinning guy. He was by far
the most interesting character in the movie. He hadn't said anything that made me want to punch him
yet.
And the way that they kept dressing up and different,
I was like, at this point, he's got his hardest flashing,
like he's a boss fight or something.
He had flames behind him at one point in the bio field.
I think he's then he's on a graph.
Yep.
In a second, they have him slowly rotating
in the direction, which is nice.
You know, the dude's got range. He's not a one trick pony, which is nice.
Yeah, absolutely.
The Gary Oldman of 3D graphics of a bald guy, if you will.
You know what, there's actually a bit later on where it's him, but you don't even realize it's him.
He's that good. There's like, yeah.
Lin before, Lin was actually this 3D guy. He just, he just lose himself into a role.
Oh, do we, we've missed quote,
Einstein some more. Yeah, like the third or fourth time in the first, like, 15 minutes
of this film. At this point, I was just writing in my notes, I can't afford not to buy a
biopsy. Be honest, you were surprised at no point they flashed a 1-800 number at the
bottom of the screen. Oh, for certain. Later they do start showing us people's CDs on screen.
I thought they just need a number of like, call now.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
No, there is, there is all but a model dropping a bunch of alopathic medicine on the
counter and yelling.
There has to be a better way.
And there's just this amazing line that it could have easily got lost, but she says,
I figure who was who says, but she says, by shifting the bio field, we shift the dynamics of the
body toward a movement, toward health and wellness. Right? Now, just to be clear, that's not shifting
the dynamics of the body to health. It's not even shifting it to ward health. No, it's shifting it
towards something that's heading towards health. And bear in mind that when you head towards something that's heading towards a place,
it's often because you're heading away from that place.
It's real as I was going to St. Ives situation.
Oh, the accidental honesty that comes from their verbosity, right?
Oh, yeah, because lens misunderstanding went way beyond the medical field.
It went straight to Lin's wisdom.
She said at one point, we think of ourselves as discrete objects, but we're not.
And I'm like, but we are.
Lin, I mean, you're a big girl, but the least I could say about you is you do make it to
the category of discrete objects. Maybe she means to discrete is in like subtle.
Is that no, we're not discrete at all.
We're gonna fucking love this about what we do.
We make documentaries about how we're killing people.
Right.
Okay. We're not discreet about it.
All right.
Yeah.
No, you're right.
I was not giving her the most generous interpretation.
My gosh.
She says, we're going away from pharmaceuticals and towards energy.
And I'm like, okay, dibs on your pharmaceuticals. Oh, Jesus Christ. All right. So and then we
go back to Candace Purt. We see her long enough to realize that the forward for her book
was written by Deepak Chopra. So that's what you need to know about that lady. It's so strange that they describe the leading expert as the late
Candace per if the leading expert in your field is dead.
It may not be a mainstream field.
There's not many fields that the current leading expert is dead.
And she says here, when you have a profound emotional trigger, your whole
body changes.
Not just like, guys, know as body changes like three times a day.
So fucking anamorph.
Yeah.
Then Bruce got sent to tell us that, um, psychologists say that 70% of our thoughts
are redundant and negative.
It's way higher.
It's way higher for that.
Bruce.
And to be fair, he's got me there.
Seven percent of my thoughts are negative and redundant.
Yeah, well, no, I, I, I had the same thought as Mars.
I wrote my notes.
You know what?
And in your case, Bruce, I'll take the over.
And just in case anyone was worried, the 3D dude is back, but he decided he didn't like
spinning the way.
He's gone back to his original direction.
You know, you stick to what you know, you don't need to change things up too much.
Yeah, exactly.
I wish I was hoping to do why access that somewhere you never know.
You just don't always access your rotations, but you know, but I think he's got it.
I mean, you got to say something for the sequel.
Also, very important question towards the end here.
Does Bruce tell us that kids aren't conscious until they're sick?
Yes, he does. Yes, he does say that. What does Bruce try to forgive himself for when he says that, guys?
Yeah. Anything into six basically doesn't count. That's a gimme. That's a freebie. We don't have to worry about that.
Jesus Christ. Okay. So now that we've brushed off traditional medicine, we're gonna take a swipe at traditional psychiatry, right?
And this is a bullshit that I hadn't heard before.
Talk therapy is bad because, you know,
you dwell on the negative and talk therapy.
Yes.
It's so negative.
I'm just, I'm just big trick sitting down
to a session with one of these people,
I was like, and that's when Uncle Timmy took me into that,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
How's the weather been lately?
Yeah, right?
It's been nice.
It's again,
something about something a little bit lighter, huh?
You, you're kind of working this bummer.
That's my new character is the therapist
who just responds to everything with awkward.
I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, the therapist to just respond to everything with awkward. Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Also, when they're talking about talk therapy being all bad and negative, it's illustrated
by like a walkthrough of an abandoned and flooded building, which is nice to think like,
lady, what happened to you in there?
Hahaha.
Jesus, you shouldn't be in this documentary.
You should be in talk therapy.
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, no.
Okay.
So then we hear from Dr. Kess and she's so preeminent.
She's at the top of the pyramid scheme.
We see her supplements and shit.
Yeah, her supplements that are called calm and focus and energy balance.
So you know she's legit.
You don't just get to say that your supplement causes energy balance without some
pretty much every time. Yeah. Well, if she's taking the focus supplement, you know, she's literally anyway.
Yeah.
She's in the orthomolecular hall of fame, a distinction.
So goddamn meaningless.
I refuse to capitalize any of it.
There was a say, there was a say she's author of more than 10 popular books.
Just give me the number. They also say she's author of more than 10 popular books.
Just give me the number.
And we see the covers of these books,
and they could not look more comically quacky.
They look like something weed mock up for a gag
to take the piss out of all made books.
Yeah, no, exactly.
And she explains that after many years of medical practice,
she decided not to do that anymore.
I love that. So yeah, many years of medical practice, she decided not to do that anymore. I love that.
So yeah, many years of medical practice has taught me,
medicine does not want me.
Is that what I'm looking for?
Oh, Jesus.
But so it's funny, it's easy to make fun of and everything,
but I want to emphasize that what they're doing here,
what virtually every one of these talking heads is doing,
is saying that what the terminally ill people
are missing a sufficient blame for their condition.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
You cause your own cancer because you were too negative.
That's 100% of this.
Yes.
Exactly.
They even say that, that like, you know, we find that like, well, K.O.T.R. comes from
being angry at people or whatever.
It's like, I am not one giant walking tumors or no, the fucking day.
I thought this is to prove another fact that Noah doesn't have to fight
chemo at the end of the movie at the top of the mountain.
They also have the weird thing where they're like, yeah, it takes so much energy to repress
memories can confirm.
But if you ride a bicycle, you won't remember your dad got eaten by a wolf in front of you. What?
Yeah.
Okay.
And then all the people who are thinking to themselves like, well, I couldn't take this
any less seriously.
Find that they were wrong because this is when we watch this shit happen.
We watch the energy healing.
The lady's like arranging imaginary flowers and some other ladies head
vase or whatever.
Oh, I had her mimeing given that lady a Mohican.
He's got to be spiky.
He's spiky up to the middle.
So fucking weird.
And then they pan over to another lady doing it like it's a comedy reveal. And like I had this moment of empathy with this right
because real menacing is so hard you got to take pills you got to exercise they got
to do because it's real right it's so much nicer to just be like oh yeah I'll cure your
cancer this just sitting this chair and this lady with 90s porn hairs, gonna waver hairs or internet.
And wiggle your shoulder.
Oh, shoulder wiggle seems so much nicer than diet and eggs.
Yeah, but there's a lovely bit as well because not only was it shoulder wiggle, at one point
they lay someone down in a bed and just went jelly wobble, jelly wobble, jelly wobble,
jelly wobble, jelly wobble, jelly wobble, jelly wobble, jelly, jelly, jelly, jelly,
that's, you know that's not energy healing, right? You're just wobbling them at that point. I just want to be able to see them. I just want to be able to see them. I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them.
I just want to be able to see them. I just want to be able to see them. I just want to be able to see them. I just want to be able to see them. I just want to be able to see them. the scene, picture the room you're in, picture the, the deck all, picture the painting that's on the wall.
Everything in one of you listings is now picturing the painting on the wall.
That was a native American ghost, fucking a buffalo ghost.
You have to go right, that's what was on the wall.
Absolutely.
Yes.
Yeah.
So, all right.
And honestly, do yourself a favor on this one.
Just in case you think we're exaggerating, this is on Amazon Prime.
If you have Amazon Prime, go to 2104. You only have to watch one minute of this shit. You get the shoulder wiggles.
And while you're doing that, we're going to take a quick break. But we'll back soon
with even more of the healing field.
And so I said, the other picture you're a fee I found online, you can't be mad at me.
I feel like she can. Hey guys, oh my God, Eli, what are you doing?
I'm just, I'm, I'm taking care of my teeth.
What's up, Marsh?
Yeah, but by brushing with, what is that?
It's a candy bar.
It's a candy bar.
It's a candy bar.
Oh, thank God it's a candy bar.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well Noah said candy's good for your teeth, so.
No, no, Eli said some gum is good for your teeth.
Okay, Noah. Gum is good for your teeth. No, no, Eli said some gum is good for your teeth. Shook it. No gum is good for your teeth.
No, no, that's actually true.
The American Dentless Association recommends chewing sugar free gum for 20 minutes after meals.
Gum candy.
What's the difference?
Well, sugar.
Eli, not all gum is created equal.
Some might come in fancy packaging, but they only cover up bad breath.
Others are loaded with sugar.
They can wreak havoc on your teeth.
Oh, like brushing with a candy bar. Yes, exactly like brushing with a candy bar.
Luckily, the oral care experts at Quip have made a gum that stands out from the pack,
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And in a world where you need to be extra safe and hygienic,
the quick release button means you can still share it with friends, no rappers, no hands, no hassles.
Yeah, Quips and us want to try and it shoots out all sleek and cool like, phew, nice.
That sounds cool, but I'm always running out of gum. So well, now you can add a gum refill
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That's a free dispenser at GetQuip.com slash awful.
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Quip, the Good Habits company.
All right, guys, you convinced me.
Now, Noah, let me get that gum dispenser
so I can brush my teeth with that.
That's not...
You know what, sure.
Out, hard. It's hard. It's made of plastic know what, sure. Sure. Out, hard.
It's hard.
It's made of plastic.
No, I said.
You could just take his company car away
and then he can't buy more websites.
But he memorized the numbers.
March, March, March.
Noah, hey, you live, what's up?
Amazing new business idea.
Already know.
We sell placebos. You want to sell placebos. Yeah, I mean,
think about this week's movie, right? You can sell people a book of pictures and because
of the placebo effect, bam, they just get better. Right? Look, I already bought a bunch
of Skittles and I put them into these bottles. Right. Eli, that is not how the placebo effect
works. Yeah, it is. You tell someone something, we'll cure them and then they like,
placebo effect and then they're better, right?
Well, no, no, look, the placebo effect,
it's largely misunderstood.
People don't placebo effect themselves better.
They just think they're better
in the very, very short term, just they think that.
Oh, I thought that they actually got better
because they thought they were better.
No, no.
The placebo effect is actually complicated by the fact that a lot of people do just, you
know, get better from the stuff regardless of the placebo effect or anything else.
Did you?
Yeah, and like that number is much larger when you consider that the group being examined
is everyone who's ever been sick ever or or lied about be excited or lied about exactly
yeah. Oh, so so placebo's aren't like magic, self brain healing things. No, no, they are not.
Yeah, I mean, if they were, that wouldn't be a problem. They'd just be a different kind of medicine.
Oh, right. Because it will work. Hmm, damn.
Do you guys want like 40 pill bottles of Skittles?
I mean, I'll have some Skittles, yeah, sure.
Do you have peanut M&Ms?
I do, yes.
Mm-hmm, not a fan.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
K-k-k-k.
And we're back for more of this shit.
We're gonna open up by talking about correct me if I'm wrong.
Heart thinking.
Okay, let me just say credit where credit is due.
I did not see, well, what if your heart really does do all the thinking
as one of the arguments of the smoothie?
Jesus, she comes out and she's like, well, you know,
a lot of people think that the brain could beat up all of the other organs, but the heart has raiding powers.
Sure.
Like, oh, this annoyed me so much.
The exact quote is people used to think the brain was the most powerful organ, but studies
are showing the heart generates the largest electromagnetic signal in the body.
What?
Right.
But that isn't a but sentencing.
Any more than people think the middle of the highway is a dangerous place
But my kitchen has way more knives
Only if that only works if the number of knives is the only possible measurement of danger
But yeah, but before you can even get your head around the heart-thinking bullshit. She starts it on the placebo effect.
So they're gonna not know what that means on purpose for a few minutes.
Which you'd think of all the things they wouldn't want to bring up. It's the placebo effect.
Right. Yes. It's like a third to two thirds of all healing is the placebo effect. No,
it isn't. The placebo effect is the most powerful medicine we have. No, it isn't none of these things are true. I mean, it's equally powerful to what you have.
Yeah, I was going to say March be fair. placebo effect is the most powerful medicine.
We that's a very good point. I mean, bear in mind she's saying this just after she argued that
she doesn't use her brain for thinking.
So this is entirely because of that.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, her heart receives signals way before the brain sometimes, like beat.
Oh, God, that annoyed me as well, because yet my eyes receive information earlier than
the brain.
My nose receives information earlier than my brain.
That's how sensing works.
That's why we have sense organs. It doesn't mean I do most of my thinking nasally. Right. My ass knows I'm
shitting sometimes before my brain does. Come on, man. Certainly an Eli's case. Right.
Right. Oh, what did it did? Just as you're thinking to yourself about how dumb Lins brain
is, she comes in and says, the amazing thing about our brain is it's a little bit dumb.
And I'm like, mmm, I'm going to take the over again.
I got to take the over one more time.
And is this where she explains the sham surgery thing?
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is.
It is fucking amazing.
So I had not heard about this.
I barely Googled it because who has the time. But I think
I know exactly what happened with these sham surgeries. I called together this meeting of the IRB
board, which Eli couldn't be bothered to look up so he assumes that there is a gavel involved.
Next up, Michael Marshall would like to propose a sham surgery?
Uh, Mr. Marshall?
Yeah, thanks.
So, right, the idea is I get a bunch of people who need surgery, right?
But then I don't give them surgery.
Instead, I just slice them all up, stitch them up and see if they get better.
And you want to do this because, well, to see if surgery works, obviously.
Oh, okay, but surgery does stuff.
Like, like we know it works because of the stuff
that happens during the operation.
Right, or does it?
You know, like what if you only got better
from an appendectomy because you think you got one, right?
What if it's that?
Well, it feels really, really unlikely
that it would be there. Sure, but there's only one way to find out, right? What if it's that? Well, it feels really, really unlikely that it would be
that. Sure, but there's only one way to find out, right? I feel like there are better
ways to find out if surgery works than letting you slice people open and lie to them.
That's a great point. Really? Like, what are they? I can't think of any. Go ahead. I get to chop.
Yes. You know, this really happened apparently.
Yes, it did. Perfectly. No.
Yeah, I don't think that did I nail it. Did I nail it?
That's, that's exactly that's exactly what happened. And the thing is this,
this arthroscopic knee osteoarthritis study is such a pain.
And it's, importantly, it's a pain that's spread through skeptical circles because of Bengal,
there is book bad science, which I think mentioned Zitton and call this a miraculous placebo,
because you did the surgery, you did the sham surgery, and both of those worked out exactly the
same. And the thing is, even when Lynne explains this, she kind of gives it away without realizing,
because she says that you took
two-thirds of people and give them surgery and a third of people and give them nothing,
and the surgery didn't work, the sham and the nothing worked. And the thing is, why would they
operate on two-thirds of people? It's because they were three arms of the treatment here, three arms
of the study. There was surgery, there was fake surgery, and there was physio. And so the group that didn't have the operation got more physio, which is why they use physio
for that now, not surgery.
Right.
Because what you did was you did an actual bit of surgery, a fake bit of surgery.
They performed exactly the same.
The answer there isn't to say fake surgery works, it's to say that particular operations,
bullshit, don't do it anymore, and they don't anymore. Right. Right. Exactly. Right. The fact that they found out that something didn't
work doesn't mean that the fucking control group was miraculously healed. Yeah. So they
go on to explain that they say that don't think I don't want to get cancer because all
your brain hears this cancer. Right?
That's the whole thing.
I'm just like, look at you, whatever we do, don't think about the stay puff marshmallow.
Oh, man.
Yeah, yeah.
I wrote in this.
It was Bruce Lipton who said that.
You know, if you say I don't want cancer, the mind doesn't listen to the I don't want
bit.
And I thought I don't want Bruce Lipton to die in a fire.
I don't, I don't want him to. I don't want him to die in a fire.
Oh, can he sue you for that?
He gets, he's, I don't want him to die in a fire.
I do not want him to die in a fire.
Get your I don't want Bruce Lipton to die in a fire t-shirt at marsh did covid dot
out.
Also, so, okay.
At one point, one of the women says that cancer is increasing exponentially.
Yeah.
That is a lady who thinks exponential
is just an adjective you can use.
Oh, apparently, yeah, I checked.
It's not.
Like, they have charts and it's doubt like that.
Anyway, okay.
I wanted the camera to pan around
and she just has a visibly growing lump.
Oh, no. cancer is growing exponentially.
She blows up like the thing at the end of Akira.
All right, but so now it's time for us to finally get around to talking about all those damn taxans. I have a question. Do you have to wear the tank suit?
Like, at what point do they give you the tank suit in bullshit? Is it a choice that you make?
Because they all end up doing them. Right. Right. No, you could tell the really
advanced bullshit or just because of their little tanks. And just be clear, what this movie argues
at this point, we've been
through the ancient wisdom stuff, we've been through how old all this kind of stuff is.
So this movie is literally arguing, holistic medicine, which is new, but it's been around
for centuries slash millennia. It is helping us deal with modern illnesses like cancer,
which are getting exponentially more common. That is the argument here. Yeah, right, exactly. And they would listen to you say that and go,
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
These new advances in something that's been around forever,
are helping stop the exponential growth of something
that's also been around forever,
as long as this holistic medicine has,
it's self-defeating, even just by stating it.
Yeah.
Oh, Jesus.
And while apparently maybe they're trying to distract us
from that with that
one dude's awesome karate walk. So we've talked about 3D spinning guy and you can make the
argument that 3D spinning guy is the star of this show, but you could also make that argument
about Tangsuit karate walk guy, right? Not that he is the star of the show, but that his
karate walk is the star of the show, but that his karate walk is the star of the fucking show.
Oh, 100%.
And I'm just impressed they got a take where he isn't whispering under his breath.
Leave the kitty alone.
Leave the kitty alone.
Sweet kitty.
Sweet kitty.
And it is really worth pointing out this point that every single person we've seen who has
said your health is controlled by how positive you are about stuff.
Every single one of them has been a wealthy middle age white American every single one of
them.
Yep.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And none of them over the age of 60, not a lot of interviews and Flint, Michigan.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then just when you're thinking to yourself, wow, I certainly couldn't take these people
less seriously than this could I we get the video where they're all oaming together
Lin once again references just some vague like a number of scientists all over the world are increasingly believing acts right she keeps doing that
Like there's so much evidence. I couldn't even name any of this because I forget because so many of them
Yeah, it's like our most recent research into quantum physics.
Like, really Lynn, hour, even a lot of power research into quantum physics, I ya.
Really Lynn?
Illustrated, I'll point out by the 3D spinny guy, this time shooting out necklaces.
Wow.
Yes.
You would have thought, man, that he would, if he knew he had necklaces, he would have
thought he'd already pulled it out, but no, he still has new tracks for us.
That's right.
No, you keep that in the in the in the bank for near the end, like the big rulebot at
the end of power, in just you know, you do all the fighting then bang solid to finish it
at the end every time.
Thanks.
That.
All right.
So and I also want to point out to that one point she's talking about her like bullshit
therapy.
And says, well, you know, it goes way beyond the placebo effect, which means that they occasionally selectively
do know what that means.
This is the case.
Right.
She explains that the received wisdom, her words,
in modern medicine is that alternative medicine
doesn't work.
And I'm like, well, it was received by scientific
observation.
Yeah.
By alternative medicine.
That's the game that's the, that's the one.
Right.
We were like, Hey, do your thing.
And you were like, Oh, this is bullshit.
And we were like, All right, message received.
Thank you.
I also love that Lynn has a little video of her holding up a test tube.
And this is what she's doing.
Yes, see, see, but she doesn't know how to do it.
Right.
Like, look, I do not claim to be a test tube expert, but she's very clearly what I would
do if I got hired for like a day job on a commercial somewhere as scientist for where
she's just like, hmm, this test tube needs to be held up to the light and then placed
back into its container full of science.
Quantum energy healing works.
And I think this is a bit way she's talking
energy healing. And she says, you get a lot of energy out of your dominant hand. And I
wrote, yeah, but presumably you get less energy out of your less dominant hand, but it feels
like someone else's energy. So it's not.
So yeah, right. So and then this is also where they claim that there are, there were at least 150 excellent
gold standard double blind placebo test demonstrating the robust effect of energy healing.
Yeah, and it's like, there might be a lot of gold standard randomized double blind studies
on energy healing, but they don't agree with you.
Right.
100% don't agree with you.
Well, they keep showing like this one page for one bullshit,
alt medicine journal or whatever, but it's like this one page for one bullshit, all medicine journal or whatever,
but it's always the same page. And it's just like, come on, that's an all med journal, right?
Anything you show us, but you could keep showing us other studies. Yeah, it's always the same
page of Beverly's study. And I think study even then was Chi Gong applied to end stage age patients.
So just in case you think this is all harmless fun, the study they keep showing us is when they try to cheer away someone's end stage is.
She's just quite... Yeah. Oh God, I had a right in my notes at this one point when they
started talking about homeo dynamics. I had to write, is she just saying potato potato
potato, or is that my brain doing it defensively? And this is also the bit where it says that they studied 200 modalities of energy healing.
And I just really want to see them come up with that list.
It's like, okay, so right hand, obviously dominant hand, that's what I want.
Left hand, there's two.
Left center.
Waving both hands, that's three.
Binger guns, you have to have four.
London 96 to go.
I don't know, right, hear's cool. Just 196 to go.
I don't know, right, him, yeah.
What if we included day for the last time
you can't include your penis?
You're making it really hard to get to 200 glory.
What about head-based flowers, guys?
Jesus Christ.
And she also does a little bit of like the,
oh, I once cured a person with a,
I, yeah, this lady came to me.
She had a stroke and her brain was dead.
Oh, God.
She was doing this spot in the soul.
In the brain, and then I boiled her skull like an egg with my magic powers.
I want some stories of bio healing going wrong.
That's when you'd fucking convince me, right?
If she had been like, so I placed my hand on either side of her head and it just exploded.
It exploded because I was, you know, I was, I was thinking about dynasty and how I didn't
really like how the plot's been sort of focused on the younger couples lately. And
yep, she just, she just vaporized into a blue mist. So yeah, you got to watch it with this.
That story about healing or menstrual. That's an amazing story. That would have been way more
impressive if it was the woman telling us it. Yeah. You recounting having done it.
Well, yeah, I mean, at one point Lynn cites this. She says this one study. She starts to start
to talk about magnetic energy emanating from healers or whatever, but like all this
facilities we get is this one study. Didn't even narrow it down to a century or hemisphere.
I think it was in Canada, so you wouldn't have read it.
You wouldn't have read it.
They just when they say that the bio field moves at the speed of light again.
And I was just like, is the movie on repeat?
If this is hell, someone in red pajamas needs to tell me that's the rules.
It's like being a cop.
And that's when I did write, uh, if a B. Reesman interview, I'd be like, actually
hurrying them along a bit now.
Anyway, just trying, you've had enough space on this now.
Let's get into it.
Yeah, okay.
So now we're going to check it with the highly respected school of energy healing, which
is meeting at the conference room at the Ramada on Route 26, Oh, as all the best schools do.
Yeah, he's a highly respected author of several CDs.
Yes.
Ron, Ron Levin and Ron, I can't tell you much.
I can't promise you much in the world, dear listener, but Ron wrote his own introduction
because it is seven paragraphs.
Ron of the healing touch light is a psychic telepathic telephathic telemathic.
And he's got a seven inch penis trust us.
Claire everything it at one point it says this is the actual goddamn line.
Ron has been tested and found to be a running at the master healer energy frequency.
What?
Brent Japs are he's just, he's running at a frequency.
Even that all by itself is bullshit.
And the Claire thing, it says he's born Claire Audien, Claire Voyn, Claire Sentien, Claire
Cogherson, Claire Tsaesseres, he's just all of the Claire, Claire Danes, he's all of
the Claire's now.
But like, why is nobody ever born Klan Osmic?
It's always Klan, Voyen, Klan Rodin,
it's never born Klan Osmic.
Like I smell dead people all the time.
So, all right, but he's got this story.
He's gonna, in this story, he starts, this is great, right?
He starts talking about, I've studied with llamas
and I've studied with guru. Guarantee you, he means the starts talking about, I've studied with llamas and I've studied with guru.
Guarantee you, he means the animals.
Oh, I guess.
And then he goes, he goes, well, then I woke up one day and my groin hurt and I'm like,
tell me about the gurus, man.
Funny, he goes to the doctor.
This is his story of escaping Western medicine.
Yeah.
I went to the doctor and he was like, yeah, man, you fucking tried to do weird, tang suit
sex with your, you know, life partner, Gillilion, and you threw out your dick.
And he's like, you super best friend promise.
I'll never get a hernia again.
And the doctor was like, what?
No, that's fucking stupid.
He became a woo because he doctor didn't care to get in the emotional aspects of his
hernia.
Right, yes.
But well, so he had a vision where he was sewing up his hernia with magical silver thread
and then he's like, so I did that and I'm like, wait, what?
Wait, did you actually?
In his mind.
Because your junk is gross fucking dude?
I really wanted it to pan down to just like his pussy
infected
So no longer grandma trying to fix a soft
It's so it's a ludicrous to realize that this guy is turning having a hernia into
an inspirational origin story for his super power.
Right, right.
Exactly.
Ah, the MCU has really lost its way.
He also says that he had a Masonic teacher.
Yeah.
Is that a term in woo or does that mean a member of the Mason's?
Yeah. a term in who or does that mean a member of the mason's? Yeah, I'm just picturing him going down to
some sad, empty beard haul to talk to 87 year old guy in a silly hat. I was like, yes, I dreamed last
night. I showed my dick up with Fred. I don't know what to tell you, man, we're doing a fundraiser for
a kid's baseball team. You gotta stop coming here and tell me about your dreams. Do you think like
a Masonic raky practitioner just like holds that wrist in a slightly different
way when they're doing the raky and like if you know, you know, and that's how you can
recognize a fellow Masonic raky practitioner.
Yeah, they have some secret raky waves.
Yeah, exactly.
All right.
So now they're going to drop their best evidence on us.
One of their best studies ever on whether waving your hands miles away can cure people,
uh, totally can't cure AIDS.
The targ study, the targ study is like the short films I made in college.
If you are a woo practitioner, you want to be as far away from them.
You want as little people to know about them in spots.
Because the targ study, and Mars, you can explain this way better, but the targ study only
proved that people who got prayed for felt bad about not feeling better and that be hacking
exists.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, a big part of it was that people felt pressured into expecting that they should get
a better result and actually, in part of it was that people felt pressured into expecting that they should get a better result
and actually in part of it start to performing worse. But even when they introduced this,
Lynn gives the game away again because she said they did a study before all of that new medicine
today was available. So, right, because that medicine saves their lives and your thing doesn't,
because if it did, they wouldn't have done the medicine afterwards. They wouldn't have done the
medicine if your thing worked. And fun fact, during the targ study, new drugs came out.
So they literally unblinded a huge percentage of the study.
They were like, hey, I know you're doing your little bullshit thing,
but we actually have to give them real medicines.
So you lose these like 40 people,
we actually have to save their lives with real shit.
Well, and that's the thing, right?
This study took place in the late 90s.
She says it took place in the 80s before all this medicine
came out, that's a fucking lie.
That's not just a, you know, she got the date wrong, right?
She's saying it's before the medicine
that it came out in the 90s came out,
and intentionally so, because if you know
that the medicine came out at that point,
then you know the study is bullshit.
And of course, what they did is exactly what you're talking
about, they did be hacking. After they did the study is bullshit. And of course what they did is exactly what you're talking about.
They did be hacking.
After they did the study and they found that the only thing that they found was the people
that got prayed for did worse, right?
Is then someone suggested, well why don't we look at every common problem that you can
have that's associated with AIDS, every other different kind of thing that can happen?
And then we'll ask them to do mood scores and we'll give them quality and life scores
and then we'll only take the things that got better
and report on them, right?
That's what she's talking about.
They took 61 variables and they're like,
wow, look at these 18 variables
that people who were prayed for did better on.
Yeah, and I mean, I haven't seen the details of study,
but I almost guarantee that the majority,
if not all of the variables that they got better on,
were the self-reported outcomes of how's your mood doing?
How's your pain?
Do you feel as fatigued as you were?
Because in almost all of these, that's exactly it, is that it's only self-reported outcomes
that are ever eligible for whatever placebo benefit there is or isn't.
Right.
Or out of the 23 common conditions, you know, like there were six of those that they got
better on, but also it's worth pointing out, though, by the way, there've been efforts to replicate those results and they've never
worked.
Yeah.
Right.
That's how you get to be hacking.
That's how you figure it out because you can define your variables up beforehand once
that you have those studies in hand.
So it's absolutely disproven bullshit and any effort to look into it proves that.
Yeah. any who.
Which they literally did by the way,
after this study, a guy was like,
oh, shit, maybe this does work.
I'll tell you what, I'll get a whole bunch of people
and they were like, don't do that.
Right, you get it.
More.
Well, though the same fucking scientist did the test again
at some point and then was like, oh yeah, okay,
no, you're right, it must be hacking my bad.
Yeah.
Jesus, and then at that point,
this thing becomes a full blown goddamn ad
for the healing school, right?
At this point, they start telling you
like, and to just,
three easy payments.
Oh, it could not sound more like an infomercial
for this guy's energy school, 100%.
They might as well tell you how delicious the food
and the cafeteria is.
What they do tell you is that the producer joined his cult.
Yes, right. That's a very next thing behind out. Yes, right. the food and the cafeteria is what they do tell you is that the producer joined his cult.
Yes.
Right.
That's a very next thing behind out.
Yes.
Right.
And I'm like, what point do you think you're making about the other activity of the bill?
So we've been getting these testimonials throughout right people to just show up and say, well,
I was never very good at healing myself.
But then, you know, so, but then we get this one, this, the Jewish lady who had the bitchy
cousin.
This woman is uncomfortably stereotypical.
Noah and Marcia's notes turn so polite.
And this woman, because this woman, she might as well have a bag of gold and like a baby
that she's just sucking the blood out of.
I'll tell you, I hit a cousin and we did not get along because he brought brisket to my
mother's funeral and I said I was bringing the brisket and then four days after I used
my mere jet pier was on him.
He wrote me a letter saying thank you.
I mean, do you want to see one of the reason my notes are so polite is because I assume
you were that cousin, he You know the Daniel person.
You know, I didn't want to say too much shit about your cousin.
Yeah, but the story is she used her magic long distance healing powers on her family member
that didn't she didn't get along with who then sent her a note that said, thank you.
That's all the notes set.
Yeah.
I do not believe her.
No, that did not happen.
Yeah, I believe maybe it ended in K space.
You. And I had this weird sort of meta moment here, because they were talking about like one must
forgive the heart to forgive the spirit. And I thought to myself, isn't it weird that like all the
deep thoughts are taken over by assholes, right? Like the assholes have dibs on all the deep thoughts are taken over by assholes, right? Like the assholes have
dibs on all the deep thoughts. Science doesn't say deep shit. They say cool stuff like you're
made to start us, but all the good, like really fun, woo shit. That's only by people in
tangsuits. If you want a woo, you think you got to talk to a guy in a tang suit. It's a
real loss.
I don't, I don't know. I feel like you can get into philosophy, but then, you know, you're a, that's half way to tank. Yeah.
Boom. Yeah. I mean, to be honest, all I thought when, when Ron was saying you have to forgive
yourself is the way he says that and then looks wistfully in the distance. He's done some
serious shit, hasn't he? He's really, he's got to have him stuff to forgive himself.
He's got Andy Wilson on speed dial. Well, what I thought is like, I'm always extra suspicious with people who open up on
this importance of forgiveness, right?
Like, what are you gonna do?
What are you planning on doing?
Oh, and we didn't even mention the fucking testimonial of the guy who cured his chronic
fatigue syndrome.
I'm like, really?
But how is your gluten sensitivity and your kudis doing?
And it was the other guy who said he had loads of panic attacks
and anxiety.
Yeah.
And then he started to visualize and do this energy stuff.
And I said, yeah, but you were suffering from panic attacks
and then you learned to calm yourself and meditate
and you found that helped.
Fine?
Yeah.
That's not controversial.
He's more connected to his heart, Mars,
which is that you want all the coronary arteries you can get.
I just really wanted to before picture he's spraying all over the walls.
Gotta meditate more. So yeah, oh, Jesus, then we hear from this lady who released her,
oh, God, the one, the lady who released her emotional back pain. It was so amazing that even her chiropractor couldn't
explain it. Yes, this lady is Nancy Newman, which 100% sounds like a pseudonym she made up to stay
anonymous. Yeah, right. Come over that name on this spot. Nancy Newman. New, new man it is. Yes.
And she's like, yeah, I went to my chiropractor and he was like, fuck, are you seeing a different kind of con man? Because your vagina is perfectly front right now.
You know?
Perfect.
All right.
So you're probably thinking to yourself,
I don't know, I'm not entirely convinced this is real.
Well, how about a little b-roll of China to convince you?
Yes.
That's right.
It's time to learn about key chong. Did you know that things can be wrong and old and Asian?
Come on down to it. Qui-Gon-Gin or whatever the fuck this thing is.
Well, yeah, but what we're actually seeing here is they're saying Kigong originated in China.
So here's several shots of stock footage of white people doing it. Yeah, right. Even Chinese people doing it. It's just white people doing it in China. So here's several shots of stock footage of white people doing it. Right. Even Chinese people doing it. It's just white people doing it in China.
Yeah. And this is where we get to meet.
Cheegong master Gary. Gary.
The Cheegong man. Yeah. Exactly.
Gary wishes so hard that he was ancient and Chinese. Those were his, if he found a genie,
those would be his first two wishes. And his third wish would be to be ancient and Chinese. Those were his, if he found a genie, those would be his first two wishes.
And his third wish would be to be ancient and Chinese,
just in case there was any ambiguity.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, and he's also a renowned China scholar,
because that's not a protected term.
I can.
I would guess if you let this guy talk about China
for long enough to scholars, he would in fact gain some renown.
He's also another guy who's the author of numerous CDs and DVDs.
Yeah, exactly.
And then he started, he started talking about all the powers of his bullshit, Qi Gong,
nonsense or whatever.
And he's like, well, you know, the one of the problems that Americans have is that they breathe
too much.
I'm like, really?
Is that a problem?
He's like, yeah, no, my students breathe way, way less often than most people.
Is that better?
Okay.
Be honest, Martian Noah.
Did you try and slow down your breaths and see it was super stupid?
Cause I absolutely did that at this point in the movie.
I laughed at about 15 seconds.
I thought, hmm, not for me this.
Oh, I started to pass out because I I thought, mm, not for me this.
Oh, I started to pass out,
because he's like, you'll breathe at seven breaths per minute.
So I'm like,
pfft.
Oh.
pfft.
Yeah.
So I did enough dumb yoga shit in my life that, yes,
I got myself down to where I could breathe like,
I could take two or fewer than two breaths a minute at one point
in my life.
I probably could still do that.
I can I read a lot of names at the end of skate.
I would pass out and shit myself on this podcast, but you can do that, but you can't do
anything else, but you can get down to two breaths a minute, but you can't do anything
else while doing that.
It's also completely fucking useless.
And then we get another one of these like, like, he starts talking about one of his students
that he cured of her arthritis with his key chong.
And I'm like, oh, really?
She did light exercise every day in her arthritis.
Got better?
Yeah, exactly for a year.
Yeah, light exercise for a year.
And that's not magic.
That's literally what a doctor would recommend.
Yeah.
And the patient would reject it
because it would seem like they weren't getting treatment.
Right.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Well, what if I told you that exercise was magical in Chinese?
Only if I can pay you more money than I can afford.
Do we get to wear tank suits?
We do get to wear tank suits.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
No, I mean, okay.
But that's the thing is, he's like, you, anecdot about me, you know, making a woman's arthritis feel better, conclusion, breathing Chinese leak,
here's diabetes. Right? Because we hear about the diabetic guy who also got better when he started
exercising. Yeah, this is Bob. Who first of all, Bob is the guy who stands behind Jesus in the
Big Lebowski in the bowling scene. That is Bob.
We have a picture of 791, which is really, really high. And then he was put on insulin and he started
doing light exercise regularly for over a period of months. And his blood sugar started to come down
because he was no longer having a lifestyle that had him have a blood sugar level of 791.
Right. And I just have one little note, which is that Gary, Grandmaster Gary has bought himself
the wrong size black belt.
Like there's so much comedy in this one shot because one, all black belts are made up.
I know that.
I don't, don't try and jiu jitsu me in the knacker face, please.
But like, he bought himself a little black belt because he's a kick on master, but he bought
like the medium. So it's a fucking, he's a Kegong master, but he bought like the medium.
So it's a fucking, it's a black thong.
It's barely tied together in an angry knot under his gut.
It's pretty fantastic.
Yeah.
So we, we remind everybody that their diabetes is their fault.
We get a few more testimonials from get another guy who had self-diagnosed chronic fatigue
syndrome that he cured, which is nice. We get a few more testimonials from get another guy who had self-diagnosed chronic fatigue syndrome
that he cured, which is nice.
Yeah.
He was exhausted a lot and then he did regular exercise and now he finds he's got more energy.
It's magic.
And hey, if you want to go down a rabbit hole of sad, Google chronic fatigue syndrome,
because it's just the series of sadder and sadder tumblers offering worse and worse advice.
Ah, it's like chronic fatigue. There are a lot of people out there who are suffering from
something and we don't have a good name for it. And sometimes those symptoms get, you know,
collected together under chronic fatigue. But when they're collected in that way, they just
become a massive target for any bullshit artist to try and hit. Yes. So like, there's a lot of
people who've got a lot of stuff going wrong with them that they can't figure out. And that's really sad. But the fact that they're being exploited
is the really, really extra sad bit. Right. Yes. Exactly.
But don't worry. If you're going to get too sad, this series will literally end with a shot
of Master Gary getting scared away by geese.
He, this is what happened. I guarantee it.
I would bet all my money, all my worldly goods that Gary was like, get me doing my kigong
with these gifts.
He gets within six feet of them and the geese are like, fuck off.
And he's like, oh, sorry, God, they're energy fields.
They're bio energy fields were too strong for my.
Charlie.
And inside my field.
So kind of blazer them. by that inside my feel me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me What would that be? Like, I feel like that's probably true of sneezing, isn't it?
I don't.
Yeah, it's like he, his brainwave change by 70%.
But like, my brain at rest will look very different to me slowly moving around and
thinking about Cheegong because my brain is doing very different things at that time.
But note, 70% different, the other thing it says, which is great, it says he also lets
off strong gamma waves when he's thinking about, yeah, and Keegan, which it says,
are late with the prevention of dementia and obviously the creation of incredible hulks.
And I don't know, gamma rays were so linked with the prevention of dementia. I really hope
Bruce Banner, like at least recognizes the silver lining that he won't get dementia.
Like, yes, your turn to massive green rage monster and smash everything up, but you'll remember it. So no one wants the Alzheimer's Hulk, right?
Like me when I'm, oh, what is it?
Are you my grandson? Hulk smash. And just in case, by the way, you're still doubting how vicious
this movie is. You're like, well, maybe they're mistaken and not evil.
One of the fucking talking heads shows up to talk about her research that shows that even
if it doesn't seem like the woo is working, you have to do it for at least two years.
Sometimes before you see any results.
Yeah.
And if you're an energy healer, you got to take classes too.
I'm just selling to the seller smart business long tail.
I get it. Yeah.
Right. And they also say, you know, more and more doctors are making referrals to Tai Chi
practitioners. It's like, yes, but surely as light forms of exercise, not as it can cure
your cancer. Right. It's a need to keep moving. If you get you moving, you need to move. Do
that, man. It's fine. Yeah. I would love to watch that doctor meeting, though, where he's just like,
all right, well, it looks like you've got cancer here. Um,
how about a white guy named Gary? Do you want to do a little bullshit dance with him?
No, no, no, no, you're going to go.
No, I'm not. All right. I guess we're doing chemo again.
The one thing this film has, has overwhelmingly proven is that it is impossible to do
Qi Gong on camera without looking over the fucking moon that you're being filmed.
You see this?
Look how slow I'm going.
Yeah, fucking brilliant.
They are very much so like going to the movie.
All right, well, I don't know about you guys, but I have to go bitch at a terminally ill
person for not wish thinking hard enough. But first let me give act 3 the hard sell here
Can the byproduct of the quantum coupling integrate cohesively? Will the frequencies of cellular respiration resonate comprehensively?
Can the chromo dynamic spirit field re-normalize in time? Find out the answers to absolutely nothing in less when we return for the verbose conclusion of the healing field.
Hi, I'm Greg Kyler and I'm Mike Mikeson.
Are you tired of Asia cornering the market on ancient wisdom?
Do you want to be the master of something untestable and therefore fail proof?
Well then you need white guy woo.
That's right white guy woo but 100% Caucasian of bullshit, straight from your culture to your wallet.
We've got cost as like punching holes in walls for healing and devil's advocate therapy.
But that's not all.
White guy woo comes with its own brand of mystical Caucasian food supplements.
Chronic fatigue, take two hot pockets and call me in the morning.
And best of all, with white guy woo, there's no need to appropriate other cultures fashions
with poorly fitting kimonos or karate outfits that you bought online.
That's right.
Each white guy woo grand master has issued the standard tracksuit and headband of your
great ancestors.
White guy woo.
Damn it.
I just realized it's CrossFit.
Oh, fuck it is CrossFit.
Oh, God, every time it's CrossFit. Oh, fuck it is CrossFit. Oh, God every time. Oh, we invented CrossFit again
And we're back for still more of this shit. We're gonna rejoin the action by learning about the power of mental imagery with the
Unfortunately named Jerry Epstein
He's definitely named Jerry Epstein. He's a very different aim.
And look, no one in this movie looks healthy,
but they don't look Jerry Epstein unhealthy.
He looks like Anthony Hopkins auditioning for Slingblade.
He looks so ill that I figured he actually was the corpse
of Jeffrey Epstein come back under a pseudonym
and I'm gonna sort of go on undercover.
Yeah, but he met a magic lady in Israel and she was better at healing people than medicine
was.
So he started doing her thing.
Yeah.
And just because he described as a leading pioneer in mental imagery.
Well, so he's an expert at imagining things.
We're all that many. Have you played pretend with this mother fucker?
He's got sphinx, he's got pirates. His imagination, fuck your imagination.
Doesn't even need porn. He's like, yeah, no, this actually, this medical practice goes all the way back to ancient Egypt and like we're all the best medical practices got there.
So it's my favorite thing in the movie.
We know the ancient Egyptians used mental imagery because they wrote Niroclifics.
Oh, is that the argument he was making?
There are no pictures because the history of images goes way back.
You know, we've been doing images ever since the eyeball evolved.
I don't know if you know.
And then he's got a fucking like right as a prescription for imagery.
He's like, all right, so much you need to do is you need to imagine things you might.
I'm not going to lie to you.
Sometimes people need 10, 20 seconds of imagining for 21 days. Maybe a college
month. I don't know. A semester. A semester. Yeah, exactly. And then, okay, but he's got a
testimonial, right? He's like, you know, well, here's a guy whose life I saved. He was about
to lose his leg. And I'm like, what? What was it? lose his leg and I'm like, hmm, wait, which was it?
Did you save there? Oh, well, there's a couple of testimonials. The first one actually, there's a lady who comes in and says, mental imagery is like a treasure chest that you can reach
into and pull out anything that you need. And it's like, that's, that's not what a treasure chest
is. That's a, that's a tabricula chest. A's one of the chests. A treasure chest specifically.
How's treasure in it, God damn it.
We live in a society.
And she explains that she's an artist and mental imagery helps her draw things.
Well, yeah.
All these testimonials are, I was hating my life. I was in a really bad place.
And then I found this. And you know what? I guarantee 100% that some of these people are currently
QAnon followers. I guarantee it. Yeah. Absolutely. They've gone through Flatter. They've come straight
out the other side into QAnon. But then we get our best talking head for the mental imagery,
the wasted heart transplant.
Oh, Jesus Christ, this fucking guy.
Yeah, right.
So he had a heart transplant and then he got better
because he also did mental imagery.
But the issue he was having specifically was that
after a couple of days of the heart transplant,
there was a complication and the complication was that
his legs started to reject the heart. He there was a complication. And the complication was that his legs started
to reject the heart. He's not a thing. I don't think it's randomly kicking him in the chest.
And the transplanted organ be rejected by one single limb and nothing else. They take a
vote or something. It's like, come on, man, we voted on this heart. We all agree, Larry. I don't think that's the thing.
But yeah, but well, I can tell you whether or not
it's a thing, the magical bullshit,
imaginary, that fucking Jerry is selling
is not how it got fixed.
They're like, well, he regenerated his nervous system.
Like, we all do that.
Yes, the story top the man who is giving him credit
for fixing his heart transplant rejection.
Oh yeah, in a rush.
And he's like, well actually sorry, I have to step in here.
I regroup your nerves by telling you to think of a flower,
frosting, filling your hip or whatever,
the fuck I told you.
Yeah, I think I was.
He goes even further.
He says, I gave him just one of the systems
we have for nerve regeneration.
And that's such a weird flex to make out that you've got multiple ways of doing.
He's like, yeah, you did that one, but I couldn't give him one of it.
I'm million others. I've got, I've got them coming out my ass. Honestly, there's just so many
for you. Why would you bother learning a second one? Right? Like if I could just regenerate
people's like lost limbs and shit, anytime I spent learning a second method of doing that would be not spent regenerating
people's lost limbs. Oh, and then we find out what Greg does for for living as well, because he
goes back to his life. And he says, and you know, I'm a big band leader. So I feel I can go back to
living again. I'm not convinced it was living before. Yeah. So then, okay. So then we check in with Greg's transplant surgeon
who confirms all this, right? Then it was the magic and not the transplant that saved
him. And I'm just like, yeah, this may have seemed impressive at some point, but this
whole like he's a doctor. So he can't be stupid thing died during Ben Carson's presidential
campaigns. No, no,. So no longer impressed.
Right.
Well, and luckily he saves us from being too worried.
He's like, yeah, no, I'm a doctor who's recommending this bullshit, but don't worry.
I also do it.
So I'll probably die of cancer or whatever the fuck is going on for me.
Oh, yeah, and he's yet another dude telling us about the wealth of evidence without citing
any of it.
They do show us one bit of evidence, so they flash up a study on screen.
They say science is demonstrating this groundbreaking research.
And to illustrate that, they flash up a 1997 edition of the Journal of Alternative Complementary
Therapies.
So that is their groundbreaking science.
It's 23 years old and in a bullshit magazine. So all right.
And so now it's time for us to move on to sound healing.
And we're going to do that with the comic book bad guy named Melody Gable.
Who was fucking Melody Gable and how did she get some time in this movie?
I'm not saying that Melody's bullshit is more bullshit than the other bullshit.
That's physically impossible, right?
There is no right.
Yes.
Lower than zero or whatever, but she should not have followed the cure your heart transplant
guy because she's just like, well, you know, I just, here I have a singing bowl. One, one.
That's it.
She's just my thing.
She doesn't even put her heart into it.
Yeah, she's like, well, you know, I give vibrational sound workshops.
I'm like, if you want to impress me, give vibrationless sound workshops.
Oh, and the thing is she cannot be filmed.
She has no idea how to be filmed without looking directly down the lens of the camera every
single time.
This times when she's looking around trying to find the camera so she can stare right down
the middle of it and get the director a fucking heart attack.
You're notes telling her to stop looking at the camera where my everything is I watched
it was so going through this scene, Mars. Yeah, but so she, she explains that your DNA can be her words and livened
and balanced by sound vibrations. I like it when my DNA is in live and they got to be honest.
That's got to return on. Oh, also, we get a shot of her. This is not the funniest shot.
They will get funnier each time we see her, but we see her playing the instruments and she manages to be bad at the gong.
I didn't know you'd be bad at the gong until I saw melody, Gabler miss a gong twice as
you. God, damn it. It's the big circle. Come on, melody.
Uh, every time we see them, their instruments get more and more comical. At one point, her,
her husband, Rich is blowing a massive dididoo while she's hitting a gong.
And I just thought, this feels like an avant-garde art performance, but at a local community theater.
It just feels like there's like half a dozen people in the audience.
And when they think it's in the middle of the end of a song, they start giving a little polite
clap and say, no, no, no, it's still going on. It's still going on. That was just a gap in this.
Okay, okay.
I will carry many regrets with me to the grave,
but chief among them will be that we don't get to hear
what this fuck show sounds like, right?
Because he's playing a Disserie,
doing she's hitting a gong, which means, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh is like, yup, the sure is helping my society.
And then nature is well, it cuts back to them.
And he's blowing an even bigger curved tube while leaning to the side and tickling some
tubular bells with his fingers.
And I promise what happened here was it's like when you see people take stills of porn
actors mid-orgy and then Photoshop them into other activities.
And that's what this guy was doing.
That's where they got this guy from.
It's not a did you do he was blowing and it's not junior bells that he was just tickling
away at his.
That's where they made him look like he's doing.
Dr. Seuss would look at these instruments and be like, come on, you're fucking with me,
right?
With these kind of silly.
Yeah.
Oh god.
And then there's this one testimony that I have to point out because it's first off,
because it's from Lady Danny DeVito, right?
This woman is just this absolutely Danny DeVito, but it's a lady.
And then she's trying to talk about how the sound therapy fixed her migraines, but she keeps
calling the migrants.
Yes.
So she says after the sound therapy quote, immediately, my migrants have diminished about 90%.
This is an echtman, right?
Okay, yeah.
The one with the wig.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a wig that looks like it was designed to test your no-bullying resolve.
But whatever resolve you have, not to bully, it was designed to test it.
She gets to belittle my greens, and I can only assume her hair is an attempt to keep those my grades out. Man did my no bullying resolve melt away under this woman's wig.
It looks like a scene from a movie where an alien tries on a wig for a first time
and they've got to be like, no, Mark Larr, on your head.
On your head.
So, okay, by now the movie has realized that we were dying to try a little of this energy
healing for ourselves.
So we're going to go through, we're going to cycle through the experts and they're going
to give us a few exercises that we can try at home.
Now spoiler alert, most of them won't.
Right?
That's the whole theme.
But most of them will just sit there and say bullshit, woo words until they stop filming
on it.
And by the way, for the record, I think it's important for people to know these exercises
are the first television my son ever was.
My wife brought him downstairs and stood there.
And officially these guys being like, you got a picture
pink in your mind is the first screen that has ever been in front of my child's eyes. So in
25 years when he's calling himself the new schnuther amazing, I have no one to blame but myself in
this movie. All right, all right, and our patrons. Okay. Good to know. So yeah, so we start with Ron
Levine. He's going to guide us through a meditation. Yeah, and it's just a regular meditation,
right? Like they they dress it up all fancy, but it's just like right now breathe and imagine
the breath going down through your body and out. That's it. Basically, yep, you're done. That was
the that was the thing. Their imagery gets lost. He's like, all right, great. Now let's create a cloud in the center of the room and
spit your shit into the cloud. The sun is in the cloud. Now it's recycling the bottom of your
feet. Fuck, I got all my metaphors. Like he fails the stress flows out of your body thing. At one
point, we're in the clouds with the sun recycling our buttcks. He said you need to make a ground code.
And don't worry, you can make it any color that you like.
We didn't explain what a grounding code is.
So you can make this thing.
I've not explained, but just pick a color.
It's fine. Yeah, exactly, exactly.
And then at one point, so let's be clear, the exercises close your eyes and
don't not breathe, right?
That's the entire thing.
But along the way, at one point, he says, okay, and now you just have to release your
tension.
And I'm like, well, if that's the step, that's the whole thing.
And when you release your tension, there's a step in the tension releasing exercise, the
rest of the exercise is both.
Yeah.
Okay.
But Patreon goal based on that line in this meditation, if we hit a certain amount, I will go to one of this man's workshops
and when he says that, I will shit myself and pretend that I can't stop.
For the rest of the workshop. Oh, yeah, pretend.
Until I am taken away in an ambulance. Yeah, pretend.
I just love, oh, his pronunciation of Gaya is a fucking hate crime, right?
Oh, maybe you want to vomit, don't be about
syllables. Guy. Yeah.
Oh,
and then they do a little nipple play at the end of the thing there.
Hey, honestly, if you would ask me at the beginning, whose boobs he was going to grab
at the end of this, I would not have guessed his own. So he did better than I thought.
But again, he says, put your hand over your heart and then everyone does that and then put
your hand over your spiritual heart as well. And he hasn't established what or where or
or even why that is. But every time you do, yeah, you just mean the tits. It's fine.
I'll do that.
That's the other tip. You're spear hard.
Well, and then so, okay, so that's his whole thing, right? Sit still and breathe. And
then we go back to Melody, the sound dealer,
and she's so half-ass is this.
She's like, I don't know, just hit a fucking,
you know, tuning fork makes sound.
She doesn't have the time.
She doesn't have the fill.
She's like, these are tuning forks.
You hit them.
I am dumb.
So the way to use tuning forks is you hit them,
and then you listen to them.
Thanks for joining us for our next video.
Thanks for putting my tent up.
It's just, the thing is you can listen to tuning folks.
They can't stop you listening to tuning folks.
Nobody can stop you doing that.
It's not even in prison.
I'm not protected.
Not protected, God.
They won't even idea for me.
I love that she's supposed to be the expert in sound.
So she brought them and their microphone out into the wind storm to demonstrate her tuning for.
All right.
So now it's time to go back to Jerry Appstein.
He's going to show us some of his sweet mental imagery exercise stuff.
That's it.
You start off by closing your eyes and not, not breathing again.
It's keep breathing.
Now relax.
Rinse and repeat and we're done.
Yeah, that's right. There was something though at the beginning that brought up some real
interest here for me where he says close your eyes. Don't cross your hands or your legs.
I was like, why Jerry? What happens if I cross my hands or legs during your mental imagery?
I wanted to try it. My skull collapses down under my shoulders like a turtle.
Oh, don't worry, it's a jury.
I'm sorry, sorry.
I visualized crossing my arm.
There's another weird thing that he says at one point, you know, so many relationships
are based on domination and submission, which is a weird thing to be saying in the middle
of your meditation.
Like, he's really opening up here and I thought, oh, this isn't going to be one of those
things where he's really open about his kink relationships, but he's got too little self-awareness
to know that you don't care or you don't have any interest in hearing and just keep going
you're like, oh, do you know?
Oh, really?
With two of them.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
So he has just imagined some sky stuff and he talks about some subdoms shit.
He basically does the same stick as Cloud Guy did
before except he uses shadows instead of clouds.
And the shadow, he's like, imagine now you're engulfed
in shadow, now come out of the light.
It's like, yeah, but being engulfed in shadow,
you know, it's not that bad.
Like, it happens literally all the time.
Like, a lot of my life, I'm not in a direct source of life.
I mean, that's been a lot of my time, not directly in a source of life.
But to be fair, once we get into the light, we're in charge.
And I wrote my notes, you hear that?
No, I'm in charge now because I pictured blind.
Yeah, exactly.
I just, but again, and again, one of the steps is okay.
And now feel different.
Yeah, right?
Like again, we could have skipped all their mother steps. You know, be cured as one of the steps is okay, and now feel different. Right? Like again, we could have skipped all their mother steps.
Be cured as one of the steps.
The ass and I nature of it is so apparent when he says,
so out of the shadows into the light,
and in the light meet there, the person or situation
that you now feel different about.
So I do the thing or person or situation
that you feel different or want to feel different
or don't feel different about the end, it's just solving.
Yeah, right.
Step three, profit.
Tell us, Jerry, what person placed concept phenomenon or the life feel better about right
now?
We'd be curious today.
All right.
So then we go back to the Ministry of Silly walks for some, what is the pronunciation?
I keep getting around Chi Gang.
So I think it's,
I think it's either Chee Gang or as one lady says repeatedly, Chee Gang. And she says,
Chee Gang so pronouncily that I think that must be the correct way of pronouncing it. And she's
just really proud, she's nailed it and wants to show it off as often as possible. All right.
But maybe, maybe she's the mozzarella guy, right? When you go to an Italian place, so you got to be
careful. You got to be careful. So all right.
So now, Kijong guy is going to show us the cancer-caring walk.
It's very swishy.
Yeah.
You're sneaking up on a cartoon dog in case it's more slippery.
Yeah.
I had down there and it's like, walk like you'll tiptoeing in a Scooby-Doo cartoon.
And next up, he's going to show us how to make a sandwich exactly as tall as you're
tall, so. But actually, you're a ghost doing that.
Yeah, exactly.
And you've got it down perfectly.
It's so silly because one of the things, the final step right, there's four steps in
this little walk.
The last one is that you have to look in the direction that your hand is pointing.
But we see it originally from the side, which means that at the very end of it, he just
looks right at camera as if to say, huh, how about that walk?
It totally made me lose it.
I creased up at that point.
It was so good.
And they kept showing, they showed this so many fucking times.
He's like, I've walked like this for every day for 16 years.
I'm like, oh my god, you could have read a book.
You're feeling real good about card trick practice right now, but you can. It's just real good.
Four steps under look. And they say, you know, there was a study of cancer patients in China
and after five years of walking like this daily, 58% of them had no development in their cancer.
So that writes, first of all, 42% did. So nearly all right.
And by cancer patients, are you including people in remission?
Because if you are, then it's not that much of a surprise after five years that it didn't
get worse.
But he's just walking.
And he says, it's good for eliminating or the very least preventing any kind of disease
in the body.
And he's just walking.
Imagine if you actually thought just walking
would cure or prevent all disease.
It's incredible.
It's one Qi Gong set that does that.
Just one of them.
Why would you learn any others?
It does everything.
Right so much.
Well, and also, why would you include any others
in your goddamn documentary?
Yes, we could really focus in on this walk
and just go home.
Yeah, and it's every time it's, you know, take three steps and on the fourth step, you
look to the side and the fourth step gets me every single time.
I can just imagine like, oh, God, did you hear about Bob?
Yeah, no, it was cancer.
Yeah, yeah, no, I mean, yeah, you were doing the walk, but you kept looking to the left
on step four.
Oh, it makes sense.
It's a tragedy.
It's a true.
All right.
So we're going to wrap it up.
But don't worry.
It's like Jurassic Park.
They know who the fucking hero of the story is and spinny guy returns.
All right.
I was worried about him in his full glory.
He's got all the colors are going.
All the colors at once. They say,
countless studies revealed an energy metakountless. We can't even count them. Stop trying to count them.
And it's just to sum up all the things we've said so far. That's true. If destroyed still true,
IDST is fine. We're done, we're done. Yes.
Yeah, one of them just says at one point, this is the true healthcare reform, just in
case you hadn't, you'd lost track of how much fuck you that this movie deserved.
And they talk about evolution as well, they talk about this being the new evolution, and
it feels really odd to be lectured on evolution by someone who is actively involved in cultivating dead ends in just heading people off towards an evolutionary dead end.
Right. Yeah. Oh, it's so fucking stupid. All right. So anybody care to take a stab at
distilling the moral of the story? For just six easy payments.
moral of the story for just six easy payments. And make sure you keep it supposed to do that too. It's supposed to do that at first. You have to believe in it. It's all about everything.
You can be a renowned doll thrift. All you do is recall CDs. It's absolutely legit.
It's a perfect, it's just a form of communication. They can't stop you from calling yourself internationally
recognized. Do you have a passport?
All right. Of course, after forcing him to sit through that piece of shit, I'd be remiss if I didn't
at least plug his stuff. So be sure to check out Mars's work. You'll find B reasonable and skeptics
with a K-linked on the show notes along with a link to see the amazing works that he's doing on
the skeptic. Truly great stuff. I really look forward to every new article I'm finding on it. Mars,
thanks again for hanging out with us today. Thanks need a 285 up all down on this.
So Eli, tell us what's on deck.
We'll be watching the anti abortion legal drama, the order of rights.
All right, so with that to look forward to, remember episode 284 to a merciful clothes once again, huge thanks to Mars for hanging out with us.
I'm gonna be able to do it.
I'm gonna be able to do it.
I'm gonna be able to do it.
I'm gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to do it. I'm gonna be able to do it. abortion legal drama, the order of rights. All right.
So with that to look forward to, we're going to bring episode 284 to one, first of all,
close.
Once again, a huge thanks to Mars for hanging out with us today.
I had an even huge thanks to all the Patreon donors to help make the show go.
If you'd like to have yourself among the arranging, make a pre-episode donation to patreon.com.
Slash God off, and thereby earn early access to an aftery version of every episode.
You know, so help attend by the end of five star review and by sharing the show and all
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And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows to scale the idea
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Legal services for this podcast, by the law,
offenses, a pander, torres, time, corruption, thanks, care for our social media.
Our theme song was written in performance by Ryan.
It's not even able to dress on Mars.
All other music was written in performance by our audio and to your Morgan Clark and was used with
permission. Thanks again for giving us a check your life this week.
For Heath and right, Neil Iboznik, I'm the Lutusian's promise and to work hard to earn
another check next week.
Until then, we'll leave you with a wrecked with club clothes.
Melody and her husband Rich quit their sound heating business and went on to stop a swing his retreat instead.
And they were both so much happier about it.
So were the people listening.
The Japanese went on to have a man who could bend his leg back over his head and back again with every single step.
A bunch of people in this movie died of treatable, real conditions, and nobody's in jail because of it. I think.
I don't want you to stand it on the depressing note, you know, I think.
Don't let Eli go last in future.
I did the keygon walk at my son.
He thought it was very funny.
Okay.
I cured his cancer and made him laugh. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know of mourning for every year you were in the relationship.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now that makes sense.
That's fair.
All right.
And think about who Lucinda could take care of a new Jersey.
He's got chubby cheeks and he takes whatever vaccines you want to give him because his
arms are too weak to stop him.
So it's so is his.
That's pissing me off.
I was like, I could give them all the fuck a row vaccine.
Yeah, you just leave the needle needle on the table and leave the room.
Oh my god.
I'm gonna do that next time.
I'm at the hospital.
So listeners at home, my god damn fucking father.
I wouldn't take the god damn fucking vaccine when they offered it to him.
They said, hey, you want the COVID vaccine?
68 year old men with collapsed lungs and renal failure
in a bad heart?
And he's like, no, because it'll give me COVID.
And they're like, nope, not how vaccines work anyway.
So that's what next time they fucking do that.
That's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna be just like turn your back.
Just turn your back.
Don't tell anybody about the noises you hear.
Just leave the red.
Do not open the door.
Just keep, you know, to usher people the other way for like one minute and eight seconds.
He's weak.
He's old.
My fucker can't get up to shit.
I think you can stop me from vaccinating his ass.
Good news.
He's gotten both shots.
He's got both shots.
Stabbing down in his heart like in pulp fiction, right? The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle on a thunderstorm LLC copyright 2021
all rights reserved.