God Awful Movies - 298: Flatliners
Episode Date: May 4, 2021On this week's episode, Heath and Eli join forces with Marsh for an atheist review of Flatliners (1990). We learn about the science of near death experiences from Joel Schumacher. --- If you’d like ...to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/
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And he's fight clubbing himself, beating himself up with his face.
So at this point, he for Sutherland walked down a tunnel, stood still for a while, and
punched himself in the dick.
Okay, buddy, hit himself in the dick.
How do you do this?
Release the, well, first of all, Riverdance, second of all, release the delusion cut.
Forget the Snyder cut, I want the delusion cut, where we just watch.
He, there's Sutherland fighting himself.
Where's that cut?
I mean, I think it's on Varys videos where he's jumping into Christmas trees.
I was gonna say that it's the Christmas tree video.
God awful.
Movie.
Movie.
Movie.
Movie. Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be Nick Eli. How's it going? I'm amazing, Heath. Okay. Just no qualifying statement. You're just
to me. Oh, you know why I'm amazing. No, all right. All right. We're going to get to it.
We also have veteran, mascast and pentagrammy nominee for atheist of the year over at Skating
Atheist, Michael Marshall. Marshall, welcome back. Former, former atheists of the year because
you well, strong QE year, because you well-stroned QED, big well-stroned.
I'll have to go down this on the scathing.
Fine, fine.
Well, in that case, in retaliation Eli,
I'm rescinding your 2018 appearance of QED.
That never happened now.
Well done.
Nobody wants to go to England in February, Marsh.
Nobody wants to go in England in February.
Oh, so you're not gonna come then.
Oh no, we're totally gonna go,
there's just, unless you ban us,
but like, please don't ban us.
Well, I'm my ban you.
I'm my ban you.
We'll keep that in the back pocket, just in case.
I want to go to England in February.
So, March, what are we going to be breaking down today?
We watched flatliners.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
It is, it is superb.
It's the story of a group of cocky med school students
trying to prove what happens after you die by not quite dying.
I not quiet.
It's basically, this is the whole thing is it's like the near death experience equivalent
of trying to see if the light stays on in the refrigerator when you shut the door by
opening the door again.
Exactly.
That is exactly correct.
And Eli, how bad slash amazing was this movie?
Well, if you ever wanted to do Coke with Joe Schumacher in the 90s, but the guard at
the front of the natural history museum was stronger than you thought he'd be, you will
love this movie.
And is there anything you'd like to nominate this one for being the best at being the
worst at?
Oh, God, it's so much to choose from.
I really wanted to go for the best worst location
because we'll get this all with throughout. Our notes are very confused about what building
this takes place. It's a med school, but there's dying patients there. And there's also an extensive
pre-raphylite collection in there. So it's, it's, it's incredible. Tented and plastic,
like museum pieces. And I had that. That was going to
be my best worst all the way through until we hit best worst dog injury.
You're what's happening there. I mean, there was a point at which there was an injured
dog and I wrote in my notes a joke about how the dog might have got injured. And then
seconds later that is exactly how the dog got got injured and it's the greatest thing I've ever seen. Yeah, I almost gave this best worst. I make a joke in my notes and then it actually
fucking happens.
That happens a lot in a lot of movies. This one especially though. Yes. Speaking of
what, Keith, what's your best? Best, best, keep for Savil and getting beat up by a child.
He gets beat up a child multiple times.
It keeps happening in this movie. A child shows up and beats the shit out of Keith.
And a Keither Sutherland delight and the movie is so sure that it's scary or dramatic or
anything but hilarious. It's hilarious. They're incorrect. Yeah, it's so funny. The first
time when he just stands in front of the salon for a tense moment and then kicks
him in the notes.
It was impossible to laugh.
Yeah, I love it.
Yeah.
Every time he shows back now.
And then again, I hate to spoil it, but like, there's a moment where Keith or Sutherland
fights back and you just watch Keith or Sutherland fight a child for a while.
Oh, a while.
It's good stuff.
It's pretty good.
It's pretty good, my friends. It's sort of a bit
like it's one of the latest series of 24 where the writers run out of ideas for who the terrorists
would be. It's a ten-year-old child this time. Okay. Stick with us. Okay.
Mean culture. You're good. This kid who made a video where CNN is one of the things and that
I just stupid. Just don't question it. Just let K assort on torture with a towel. Just let him go for it. And I'm going to go with best worst
use of Oliver Platte. Oh, it said Emmy nominated Tony nominated Oscar. I think nominated Oliver
Platte. He should be. He's great. He's a great actor. He attempts to narrate this
movie. Here's what my theory is.
Oliver Platt was on set for this movie, like Julia Roberts and him were at like a buffalo
wild wings and she was like, yeah, I gotta go shoot this shoe macker movie and he was
like, can I come?
And they caught him in one of the shots.
And so he just tried to work himself ever more into the movie by like narrating it and
they were like, no.
And then he was like, maybe I do something in the movie and they were like, no.
He is the the Raphaelite art will do more things in this movie than fantastic actor Oliver
Platte.
Lay more.
That's so true.
Even to a point where the directors tell him to not do the things that he's doing.
He's not rating that go like, yeah, could you could you not be doing that?
We're filming a film here.
Then they kept that in Oliver.
You're an under five, man. Come on,
stop it. I know you're all over plabby. He just gets roasted the whole time. That's his
entire entire role is just stand there and have other actors who are worse than you shit
on you during the scene. Shit on him or for him to ruin the movie by being like, well,
guys, that doesn't make any sense. Is that what this movie's about? Well, I'm not in it. I'm all over the planet.
All right.
Well, I'm going to go watch some good all over plat stuff.
I don't know.
I like them in the West Wing for a little bit.
He had that arc as the council for the White House.
We're going to take a quick break while I do some of that.
And then we'll be back to tell you all about flatliners.
So before we jump into the silliness tonight, we wanted to take a quick moment to remind
you it's matriond time.
That's right.
Once a year or every two years is the case, maybe we come to you, hat in hand, badadais,
turned upwards at your generous and beautiful face, and ask you for your money.
Money for scotch.
Money for mango nectar.
And of course, money for all the other more important
living stuff. So to start things off, we thought we'd hit you with a tune. We can promise we'll
only leave your head when you give us money. Hit it, Anna.
We've had a really hard year, at least to know that I did.
Matrion is now here, and I hope you're all excited, because through it all, we've been
right there beside you, giving you shows.
Now I want you to know, if you give us money, pay us to be funny, we won't have to
get real jobs
It's matriot
Guess I am not even a matriot
If you don't just eat a lot of cookies one
Even just a dollar, it means a touch
Matriot
Hey! It means a touch, made tree on hay.
Get ready for some awesome rewards. Maybe know what they'll do above.
Hit her, maybe make Eli and hit fight with swords.
I'll probably sing a song or two play games with us.
Or do some Bible trivia.
We'll change his name
and make Michael Marshall go insane.
If you give us money, pay us to be funny.
We won't have to get real jobs.
Yeah, we treat you.
Guess all your money does pay triad.
If you don't just even bump up, that means one.
Even just a dollar, it means a ton.
Matrix, Matrix, Matrix.
We give you a free show, now it's Matrix.
So give us all of your doors, that are Matrix.
If you do, maybe, then new, can get it up.
Do it Patreon!
So head on over to patreon.com slash God Awful.
Make a new pledge or upgrade your pledge by as little as $1.
And you'll help us hit goals like Bible trivia,
debate class with Andrew, or marshes accent, extravaganza.
Wait, what?
Yeah, we don't know what that is either.
But if we hit that goal, it'll happen.
See, matrion.com for more details.
Patreon.
Give us your money.
Give us a dollar, it needs a ton.
Patreon.
Patreon.
Yes, I love you.
Okay, Marsh, what if we just keep it super chill?
Just you, me, Andy, hanging out, savory pies?
I don't even have to tell Eli and Noah.
Oh, really?
He's from him, I expected it, but not from you.
No, more, quip.
No, more, quip.
Oh, hey, Eli, what are you doing there?
What's with the sign?
I'm a protesting quip.
You're protesting our sponsor.
That seems like a very unwise financial choice.
Yep.
Yeah.
Well, I'm sorry guys.
Quip has sold out of the product.
No, no, they sold out like they went mainstream.
I remember when Quip was a scrappy little toothbrush company,
with just a dream and an ad on only our podcast.
Definitely never had an ad only on our podcast.
That's not just on our podcast.
But now they have floss, smart toothbrush,
and they even have tooth saving gum.
Wait, this is a gum.
I know, right?
So turns out quip gum can actually help prevent cavities and fresh and breath
when chewed for 20 minutes after eating.
It's sugar free and it has tooth friendly xylitol with zero, and to satisfy your taste buds, quip added a long-lasting
mint flavor, crunchy trilier design, and stamped it all with a classic quip tongue.
That sounds great, actually.
It's not great. It's totally mainstream. I mean, the slim travel-ready dispenser, which
is available in five colors, metal or plastic, packs and protects up to 10 pieces of gum at
a time, and it fits in just about any purse or pocket for on the go. And a world where we all need to be
extra safe and hygienic, the quick release button means you can share with friends, no rappers,
hands, or hassles. Okay, and that's bad. You're saying that's all bad stuff. Yeah, Heath, what
am I a space man? I want my gum from an edgy new comer. an individual pieces on the street, not big tooth.
Okay.
Cool.
So if I didn't want my gum in single pieces on the street, would I give quip a try with
that?
Yeah.
You would definitely want to do that.
You can go to get quip.com slash awful right now and you get a free plastic dispenser with
any refill plan.
That's a free dispenser at gikquip.com slash
awful, spell g-e-t-q-u-i-p.com slash awful. You can also find the quip electric toothbrush,
refillable floss, and more in the oral care aisle at your local Walmart quip, the good habits
company. Okay, that sounds great. Eli, count me in. No, you're supposed to go with someone
hardcore. Who doesn't mean stream? Hey, I got a guy down at the bus station who makes his own brushes. You want his number? Very much. No, no, I really don't know.
No, but they're also knives though, guys. They're also somehow even more know.
Fine. And we're back. And the first thing I noticed, the credits had names of multiple
the credits had names of multiple real actors.
Like we said, Oliver Platte, Julia Roberts, key for South Island, and also William Baldwin.
So it was not entirely, but yeah.
Hey, this is the 45 seconds
that William Baldwin was hot, okay?
This was the part of his life.
We also got some music, which was fun.
From the shot, we're seeing the perspective of what seemed to be a pirate ship coming
into Chicago.
And the music was telling me that this old-timey pirate ship sails up on a modern city and
gets confused.
So it was like, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't,
don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't,
don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't,
don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't,
don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don Yeah, my music note was someone's going to fight this warehouse full of ninjas. But key for someone is there.
So the pirates get that.
They understand him with his ridiculous oversized duster coat that he insisted on wearing
constantly in this movie.
He did.
And this is one of the first times we get the first look we get at any of the setting or
the scenery.
And it's the first thing that baffles me because he's just hanging around next to a giant
statue entirely wrapped in
Cellophane and I thought is this film set in like a weird dystopia where statues are better care for them people because can you imagine what a world like that would look like?
And then key for Sutherland says
Today is a good day to die and that's like the end of the opening scene.
And I actually think that was kind of positive.
Like you're having such a good time.
Like you've done all the things you want
and you're in a good place.
Like, oh, maybe today I die.
That's cool.
Like that's, that makes sense if you're Christian
and not a liar, I guess.
But I don't think there's that many people like that.
See, I thought he just had watched the Christmas tree video
in some kind of time travel scenario.
And I got it. I understood.
I mean, I was just looking at his bleach blonde hair.
And I thought he's going to just go home and like touch up his roots.
That's what I was thinking with a good day to die.
That makes women worse.
Works all sorts of ways. Yeah.
1990 movie.
So now we're going to cut over to the inside of the natural history slash fine arts,
museum slash medical school
that we mentioned in the beginning. And Kevin Bacon is a doctor. And he's he's treating
someone who's having a bad crack trip. Yes. Yeah. Is that how crack works? This guy sort
of very energetically sort of shouting and convulsing and things. I've never been around
a lot of crack, but it's not
only that is it. This was how 1990 understood crack for sure. Yeah, definitely. Yeah.
And crack me if I'm wrong is what happens in this scene, they're waiting for a doctor
and Kevin Bacon, who's just a med sit in his like, we don't have time. I'm going to do the
surgery. And the nurses are like, oh, you are not a doctor. And
he's like, God damn it. Give me that scuffle. And then he said, are fucking wings some surgery?
That is exactly what happened. Yeah. Kevin Bacon doctors by his own rules. And he just
runs in and like does all this stuff. And then he gets yelled at by Catholic hospital
lady who's in charge there. And it's, it's not the grizzled police chief yelling at like, you broke all these fucking cars,
you cost us millions of dollars for the city.
It's this old Catholic lady being like, you can't just, you're not a doc, you can't jump
in on surgery.
You can't do that.
To be fair though, if this movie wanted to win me even more than it will by the end,
if you just instantly killed the patient, we don't have time.
Just me.
Oh, right.
Sorry, students.
But this is the thing that got me because it, I think it was even way to end that because
he's with the patient who's having a bad crack trip.
The doctor who's with him says, we need some help.
And so Kevin Bacon rushes out to get help immediately runs into a trolley being pushed
by 1990s dear, got my red honor.
And then it's hard to treat that patient instead.
It's like, what happened?
Not the only did you do this like weird surgery 25 seconds after
meeting a patient on a trolley without scrubbing a friend like that. But also, what happened
to the guy who needed help who's waiting for you to come back with patients?
Oh, that guy died. That guy died because I didn't bring his blood bag. But the other guy who I
improvised dirty hair and surgery on, he also died of sepsis.
But you know, now that I think about him,
this is why we don't let med students do operations
on people they've only just bumped into in the car.
Right.
Yeah.
Also, well, we're gonna learn that Kevin Bacon
is the evil atheist character in this movie.
So I feel like this was an attempt
to characterize him early with that too. Ooh, okay. I can see that angle.
It's, this is a ridiculous anti-Atheism theme running through this movie. And this is the
beginning, I would say. Definitely. So there is, but it's also super weird that Kevin Bacon
is in this instant, the headstrong, just plays by his own rules, does things immediately
without thinking character because that is the exact opposite the character he plays in the
rest of this film when he's the one going, guys, maybe we shouldn't
do this. Why do you introduce him in this way? You've set the character up completely backwards.
Yeah, because the movie doesn't understand how to do the thing they tried to do. Because eventually
it's just like, oh, the atheists of characters just being like super logical and they forget that
that's bad to them. Yeah. So now that Kevin Bacon is turned in his badge
and scalpel, we're going to cut over the sick word and we realize that Julia Roberts is in this movie.
Yeah. She's too good for everything. My notes. I was so enraged here. I was like, Keith, you want
me to make fun of Julia Roberts? Big mistake. Big mistake. No, I support. She's amazing. Perhaps
you forgot he then, right?
That a cornerstone of our job here is blank, looks like blank, made a blank.
Julia Roberts, he's, Julia Roberts, think.
But the thing is, to be fair, she is a very serious character in this, because if you look
at her in this scene, she's doing a very serious, I'm wearing glasses face.
She's got a very, I'm wearing glasses face that she does throughout this scene. Also, she's talking to a lady who is obviously going to be a crazy religious
lady. And I saw it and I thought, oh, that's the lady who plays a crazy religious lady in
absolutely everything. And I googled crazy religious lady actress. And if she can't
open Beth Grant, she's called her wiki page opens with she's known for often playing conservatives and religious.
It was right.
Beth has got a fucking genre good for her.
And so what has happened in this scene and this is going to pay out in a fucking beautiful
way.
The scene itself is hilarious and we'll get to that.
But the like journey that it sends Julia Robertson, I have deep and abiding philosophical questions about.
But Julia Roberts is a med student who is curious about death from a serious reasons.
So she has gathered all the patients who almost died together for a little powwow
for them to tell her their NDE experiences.
Yeah. And the first one, the lady, Marsh, just described who apparently plays conservative
Christian lady and everything.
She says, okay, so I floated to the light and I heard this beautiful voice and it said, I'm gonna take your baby,
but you're going back.
And I was like, what the fuck happened?
Like, I really want to see a brutally honest God doing that to people.
I don't know what exactly that meant, but it sounds horrible.
The God just like stole a baby. I was like, yeah, no, I'm killing the baby, but you go back and
get haunted by this for a while. God just shuffles out from behind a pillar. I'm sorry, I meant for
you to miscarry, but then the game was on. Yeah, four months later. What would that mean?
And it's so weird to specifically point out
what a lovely voice the guy who stole your baby hat
that's what you're waiting for.
That's a weird note.
Yeah, and that is a weird note.
I'm thinking that.
That's weird.
Now, the second guy is the best though.
Second guy to talk is just like,
yeah, I was legally dead for four and a half minutes.
No lights, no magic, no God voice.
So it's just regular for me.
I just almost died and then I didn't.
I was like, okay, you're fucking up the movie. Uh, Kristen lady, you talk again.
But what's great is the person they chose for that is the only African American I'm gonna say in the movie for the first hour and 20 minutes of this to our movie. Yeah. So the way the scene
reads is white lady talking about her Jesus experience.
You know, I was actually dead.
Shut up black guy and then she literally leaves the scene.
She does.
And she leaves the scene to be questioned
as to why she's like,
why do you keep talking to the patients about death?
And I thought that's not really the question.
The question should be,
why are you gathering random patients together
to share their eye hallucinated wild under story.
That's the big question to ask.
Look, the natural history museum needs us to put the whale back in the morning.
You are wasting our precious time here in the natural mystery museum.
So now they're at autopsy class and this is a movie.
So it means that autopsy class is just, you know, med students randomly cutting into bodies, Willie Nilly,
there's a teacher somewhere, but you know, just pull shit out and throw it into jars.
It's med school.
This is one of the first times that I rethought, where the fuck is this film set?
Because yes, it's a med school, but it's basically also an art museum.
The walls are covered specifically with Rembrandt's, and Attymly Lessons, of Dr. Nikkaya Sir Tulp. So that's what it's the Rembrandt painting of an Attymly Lesson. This
medical school has Rembrandt money, which is already interesting enough. And my theory here
is that there's a really pretentious university dean who blew the textbook budget on art,
and now they've got to use Rembrandt as the learning materials.
It's going to be like, what's the guy in the rough doing? Because he went with him. Come on,
drain the humors like the painting idiot. I was going to say, teach, I can't find the black
bile. I feel like this isn't going well. And this is where we will be introduced to a very
important plot point, which is that there will not be a single named male character
in this movie who does not sexually harass Julia Roberts.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
The closest this movie gets to a horror movie is Julia Roberts' work environment.
They think it's a horror movie, right?
That's what the movie is going for.
Maybe.
I think it's Joel horror movie, right? That's what the movie is going for. Maybe. I think it's Joel Schumacher. And this is post the success of Lost Boys. So I don't know,
it strikes me as like, I feel like Joel Schumacher wore his lucky socks the day he shot Lost
Boys. And for the rest of his life, he was like, was it this? Was it the toast of the socks?
This is the first of many attempts for him to be like,
what did y'all like about last boys?
You all really like lost bice,
but you hated Batman forever.
Well, I don't understand what you want for me.
We want Kiefer Sutherland to parent.
Apparently, this was his first test.
He was like, maybe you guys just like Kiefer Sutherland?
No, you don't.
Just turns out no. No. So they sexually harass Julia Roberts for a little bit, but they,
they want her to do the super secret medicine thing. And she says, Oh, I don't want to be there while
you kill yourself. Yeah, she's got no interest in watching key for Southern kill himself. And I
thought, yeah, same question, William Baldwin, though, right, but that's the plan. Keep for
sovereign land. That's the plot of the whole thing is he's decided he's going to like sort of kill
himself somehow, but he needs help of these very specific group of med students to yes, not quite
die. They've got a very specific set of skills that are essential to his plan.
And we will learn to talk about what each of those students brings in terms of skills.
Nonsense.
What they think medicine is.
Some of them are less essential than others.
Yes.
Definitely.
And before we leave this scene, I know it's just a tiny moment, but I have to talk about
being the same grading scheme.
The teacher analysis.
Thank you.
What the fuck?
So the med school teacher walks in and she's like, hello, class, we're grading on a bell
curve today.
This is going to be three A's, five B's, ten C's, four D's or F's.
And I feel like doctor stuff is absolute and not relative.
It's just like you do good doctoring or not.
When the question is, is that the kidneys?
But at least what we do find out is that we've got our five named characters and of
this class, four people have to get F's.
So at least they go out of the way to make the teacher's job very, very easy in this film.
They hand her a win.
See, I was saying everyone could blow it, right?
Because if it's three, only three A's, five B's, ten C's, four D's are in F. I'd just be like,
all right, everybody shit on your corpse's chest. And there's a some percentage chance
that you'll get in.
You have to get three of us in A. You said it's a curve.
Okay.
We all shot.
What are you doing?
What do you do?
It was the cleanest scars of that system.
But then the movie directly immediately after I was like, that's not how it could
possibly work. This med school doctor teacher corrects me and says like just like the real
world of doctrine, you're not competing against death. You're competing with other doctors. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it of that actually the only possible explanation for that line is that the actress read it backwards.
Oh, so yeah, now we're going to get another scene of Kiefer Sutherland trying to convince
the rest of the cast to do this suicide and then bring me back to life plan. And the only
other thing I want to touch on about this scene is that it's like a montage of him trying to convince each of them to help him.
And as he's trying to convince Kevin Bacon, Kevin Bacon is escaping via a rope.
Yeah, out of the window, he's repelling out of a built like they say, oh, he got a four
month suspension from med school for doing something, maybe for doing being a surgeon.
I don't know where he wasn't supposed to.
So he's repelling it out of med school like an escape.
Yeah, you don't have to escape.
Yeah, I feel I need to describe the picture as well for for listeners who haven't seen
this.
So just to explain how baffling the setting is, Kevin Bacon is in the fourth floor window
of a building that
on the outside has a giant mural of a head on the outside painting over the bricks and
the windows with the word tough underneath, not sure why he's repelling out of the window
in full rock climbing kit, including harness and everything while children don't know why
they're a children at a med school, but children are running past past smoking piles of leaves.
And I thought, is this, is this after the revolution? Is this
post-apocalyptic? How did he get the rope up onto the roof so he could rappel down from
the fourth floor window? Like that would have been a much more interesting scene than
Keith of Suddland trying to convince his other friends to join it. Like don't worry about
them in the locker room talking about their cocks and how many bowls they've got and all
this kind of stuff. Just go to Kevin Bacon, slowly trying to throw the repellup
onto the roof and get it to click onto the drain and then just testing that with his weight
to make sure it can hold.
Oh, I think Kevin Bacon was just trying to escape the cast maybe in real life. They caught
him trying to escape the movie. Yeah, but in this conversation while Keith is talking to him, he starts angrily untying the canvas cover of a military truck. Where the fuck are we? Again, I don't know
about you guys. I spent a tremendous amount of this movie being like, oh, they're in hell.
Oh, they're in purgatory. Just because Joel Schumacher like rents seven different operas
props for each movie. He just throws them all together for his props and scenery.
And what Keith is saying as well to Kevin Bacon here is he can't do it without Kevin Bacon
because he needs all the rest to put him under, but only Kevin Bacon can bring him back.
It's like Kevin Bacon's the only one who can resuscitate him.
That makes the others really shitty doctors.
If they can't do CPR and use the paddles on someone, then they've not really been at med school very
long. I feel like I can do both of those things. Like I learned CPR and gym class in school
and I could press paddles and yell clear. I think that's all you have to do, right?
Yeah. And anything Kevin Bacon does CPR wrong. We'll come to it. But when he's doing CPR,
he goes like 1, thousand two one thousand three
one thousand. That you know, the reason you're saying one thousand there is to space out the numbers.
So that doesn't work if you leave a gap up to the one.
And I did enjoy Kevin Bacon's answer. He's just like, oh, you're going to almost kill yourself and
then you're worried that you might, you know, actually just don't almost kill yourself and then you're not worried anymore.
Don't die.
Then you're good.
But Keefer Seven is like, okay, but what if it works?
I would at that point have debunked atheism, right?
Kevin Bacon's like, you crazy son of a bitch.
You son of a gun.
You've proven me wrong once again.
We also get some shots of Billy Baldwin fucking here. He is
filming himself and someone having sex secretly. It's 1990. So I'm very proud to say all of
us were not sure whether or not the movie knew this was a sex crime. The movie does actually
movie is aware that it is a sex crime, but it says a lot about the 90s that we were all like, man, I really hope this is a sex
crime and not an adorable character quirk.
And there's a ridiculous line in this as well because as he's having sex with this
lady, his phone rings and it goes to answer phone because it's the 90s and says, hey,
don't forget to bring the camera.
And this lady says, what camera?
And that's a weird line because like like, if I'm having sex and
I heard someone's 1990s answer for a message, say, you know, bring the casserole dish. I
would have heard it in that moment for more information. I hang on. Whoa, whoa, whoa, let
just stop what you're doing there. Tell me about the casserole dish. Is this casserole
dish aimed at us while we have sex? Because you have to tell me that. That is the sex
crime, even though it's 1990. We know that now. Are we going gonna fuck the casserole So now we cut over to our Scooby-Doo mystery crew
Sneaking into the school to try their experiment and I love that again Oliver Platt is trying to figure out what the fuck
He's doing in this movie. So now he's just roasting the concept of this movie and Billy Baldwin's character as they sneak in
Also, you've got Oliver Platt asking William Baldwin if he was filming himself having
sex with someone.
And I thought was was he watching the previous scene?
Well, he is just on set watching the scenes, isn't he?
Yeah, either he was on set watching the scenes or Billy Baldwin, as I think we'll come
to find out pretty much just kills people brings them back to life and films himself having
sex with people.
Yeah, yeah. I think all the reply was just like,
were you recording sex with a woman without telling her,
like you always do, and he's like,
I wish you wouldn't always get straight about that
all the time when, yeah, I mean, yes, I was in this particular case.
But now we're doing the other thing I do,
which we're gonna kill somebody, let's go.
He he he.
And this is where he goes over his plan,
which is he's going to lower his body temperature, inject
himself with sodium pentathol.
Sodium pentathol.
Truth serum, as it was clocarly known.
I really want that to factor in.
I really want to keep it.
It's not giving up secrets.
Also they say D5W is going to be involved.
There's going to be an injection or a drip of D5. That's, I looked it up.
I didn't know what that was, but I looked it up.
That's sugar water.
It's just like dexful.
So it's, it's fucking simple syrup
and they're trying to make it all sciencey.
Get out of here.
And he says, you know, I've got some chill D5W in the cooler
and it sounds like he brought juice.
Like, oh, you know, grab yourself on, guys.
Gonna be here for a while.
Feel free to help yourself.
Oh, did you salt the rim of these needles that's lovely? I love this for us.
Just watching Billy Baldwin try to like poke a capri sun, gets in his eye. I would have
enjoyed that. But yeah, he's going to freeze him and then they're going to zap him and then he'll
be dead. And then they're going to do CPR on him to bring him back. And don't worry if as all
of her plat points out, that's fucking murder. He wrote a you
didn't murder me letter for each of them. Yes, yes, he did. I don't think that's a thing
that exists. I don't think you can write a letter that's like murder doesn't count if
murder happens here. You guys are cool. I'm cool with this. I don't think you can do that.
I really want the letter to say William Baldwin killed me. I carry one of his letters all
the time. Don't you at just in case? Yes. Oh, that's an excellent prank. And this is where we find
out their special skills. You know, we need all their special skills so far.
Julie Roberts special skill has been talking to people who were ill ones.
Yeah. That's the entirety of the skills that we've seen of her.
And what William Baldwin will do with his special skills in this is hold a camera,
which is a job that could have been performed by a tall stool. And even then he's filming it like it's the alien autopsy footage, so
he's not even very good at it. Nope, he's not. Yeah, they couldn't find a non sex criminal
to alone the camera. So Billy Baldwin makes it into this movie. And just the last minute
before they're about to do it on their own, who shows up, but Kevin Bacon, bad boy of medicine. And so as they put him under and stuff like
this, right, you've got them, they're doing this arrange thing. You've got to have the
sodium pentathlon, you've got to do this range. I love it when you see people do the
syringe thing in films, because they draw exactly 20 CCs of sodium pentathlon. And then
they get all the air out by squirting about seven CCs just off into the air.
Oh, it's important to be out.
This is fine.
Okay.
Fun fact about that.
You left, Michael Marshall, but I was about six months into my child's life and dosing
out Tylenol and medicine for my son with his little like baby Tylenol by squirting it
just into the mid air in our kitchen before my
wife was like, Hey, you don't have to do that.
So these movies, they leave a lasting impression. You want injecting?
Yes.
Thank you.
What? No. Luckily, she got to me before the first time I tried to inject it to him, but
I did genuinely keep trying to clear the air out of all of our like medicines, syringes
by squirting it randomly in directions in our kitchen.
You crushed up a tile and all cooked it in a spoon with water and pulled it into a syringe
that you were going to then put some amount into your child with that syringe and anacot
you.
That's what you just described.
No, Keith, it comes in a great flavored liquid and I was spraying that great flavored
liquid around my kitchen because I didn't know how to get rid of bubbles.
Take it serious.
Yeah.
And the great flavoring obviously demonstrates to you that this is to go in your child's mouth.
And therefore, if air gets in your child's mouth a bit, probably fine.
Yeah, my God.
I literally didn't realize that it doesn't matter.
You thought the air bubbles would be a problem with breaking?
You literally just heard me realize that air bubbles
are not a problem when you're squirting just now.
I'm just calling child protectors.
You know when babies after they've been fed,
like you typically put them all of your children
and tap them on the back so that they burp.
Only if they, you know that's because they swallow air
while they drink and get it eaten stuff.
Like one of the most famous things you do with babies is because they're used to having
air bubbles and stuff.
I you talking about hitting your kids, burping the kids, blood vessels, just slapping
arms.
On next you're going to tell me I didn't need to tie that rubber thing around his arm while
I was doing this medicine too.
He took his little belt off and then tied his belt around his arm.
He's not allowed to do it himself eventually. You need Julia Roberts to inject your child now,
because she is specifically the best injector of all the time. I thought it was weird to put great
flavoring between his toes, but you know, who might have judged the medical professional?
So yeah, he dies. This is where we get our first view of the afterlife, which in Key for Sutherland's
case is children playing in a field, which then turns scary. And there's a dog. Yeah. But then
yet they they zap him and he comes back to life. Okay. The bringing him back, right? So first of
all, as he's out, Julia Roberts is saying, you know, if he's out for a minute, he'll be completely
he'll have brain damage. That isn't true. One minute, that's not true. It's like five or six minutes,
something like that. But she says 10 seconds in. She says, we're 10 seconds in, brain death.
Now it's real. It's like, I hope she keeps up that approach after med school. Like she thinks
the human body runs on the five second rule. Still good, still good, still good. Oh, we got it.
It's cool. It's good to blow it off. It's waking back up. Blow off his brain. It's fine. We've given
him sodium pentathol to put him
out. They bring him back with sodium bicarbonate, which is baking soda. Yeah, baking soda. So
like guys, he's a dead man, not a grass tin. It's not going to do it. Oh, come on. How
good would it be though? If they like put a little bit of vinegar in his mouth and he just
explodes. Okay, guys, I think we're bad med students. They also
use the defibrillator here to as part of bringing, keep your Southern land back. And they
do the thing. It's like clear zap. All right, we got to crank it up clear zap. Oh, no,
still crank it up. Or based on every movie I've ever seen, just crank it up to the third
thing and go right away with the third thing and you
win. Absolutely. Absolutely. So now we cut to inside the Asian grocery store. Yep. Keep
up everybody. We're the rest of them, the ones who didn't die are bidding on who gets
to die next. Yeah, they're bidding with time. So the bidding system is like, okay, I want
to die next. Julie Roberts says she wants to die next year. And the big system is like, okay, I want to die next. Julie Roberts says she
wants to die next year. And then William Baldwin is like, I will die for two minutes. And
she's like two 10. He's like two 25. And that that wins the dying bid.
Yes. So we get to.
I really wanted Billy Baldwin to start like bidding against himself. Just putting extra
numbers. Like you can start. You can start. And. And also Kevin Bacon's like, what are you
doing? That's crazy. We're not going to do it again. And that's when they start bidding.
And so I don't think Kevin Bacon's reticence was that you weren't going to be out for
long enough. He's like, I can see that you're looking Kevin Bacon. How about I make it
way worse? Will that help? And Oliver Platte again trying to find his point in the movie
here. Just he's like, why would we do it again? Someone
just needs to explain why we would do it again. And they're like three minutes and 45 seconds.
And he's like, that's just a time. That's not an anything. So meanwhile, while they're inside
the Asian grocery store, yes, that's actually where they are. That's where the after party is.
The first Sutherland is in the multicolored neon lit
alleyway outside imagining a dog.
Yep.
And we're watching.
This is the beginning of marshes.
Best worst.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Keep for Sutherland is seeing a what appears to be a disabled dog wearing pants.
Am I am I wrong?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's like, it's a dog who's got sort of crippled back legs and he's
not struggling to walk, but I don't know why he's in sort of pants, but sort of rotten pants,
like the pants have kind of been on for ages and rotted away. But I was thinking, oh, God,
please let this be that when he died and came back, he brought his dead dog with him.
Please let him now be forever having to be like accompanied by this dead dog everywhere.
That would be great. Like a bloody like turner and hooch. Yeah. But when you roll hooch back, I was going to say the monkeys paw curled in a single finger
when you wrote that note, Martin. And this is supposed to be, I think, scary, but this dog
is so obviously doing a trick and he's so excited. It very much spoils it. The dog's like,
look at me. I'm doing the scoochy dance.
I get a treat for the scoochy dance. And Joel Schumarker's like, boi, da, da, da scary alley.
But the dog's just like scoochy dance, scoochy dance, gonna get him baking strip, gonna get
a baking strip. It's fantastic. So now we cut over to Billy Baldwin admiring his sex tape collection.
And I will say, it's substantial.
So I'm no expert on this, right?
But he's engaged with established that he's engaged.
If you're engaged and you're also regularly filming
yourself having sex with a woman,
maybe don't label the tapes with those women's names
and then just leave them around.
This is like the ultimate sort of loaded gun
on the mantelpiece.
This is checkups gun.
This is always gonna go off that your fiance is definitely going to find this. And the engagement video is in the
middle of the videos of he's like, all right, let's say the anal sex with Mary and then missionary
with Susan. Oh, look, it's their engagement party. Oh, I was so worried. I taped over this
cheating on her. So it's so good that I swam. day. And then he, I guess he feels guilty and he calls his, at this point, fiance or wife,
are they married yet at this moment?
So they're not married because she says we should have got married first, but she's
in college at a sorority.
So like, how old is she and how old are they meant to be?
Because I've never got a handle really on how old any of these people are.
No.
But if she's a college in a sorority,
does that not make her kind of like 20, 21?
Yeah, that would be all right.
It's very unclear,
because this is also a movie from the 90s
when 47 year olds played college students.
Yeah, William Baldwin's like 35, so whatever.
Yeah, he's a med school, but he calls her up
and he's like, hey, honey,
if anything ever happens to me, I just
You know what never mind. Okay, bye. And she's like, dude, what?
I wanted to hit the phone to ring. He picks it up. Are you in a Joel Schumacher movie?
It sounds like you're in a Joel Schumacher movie.
Is something gonna happen in the movie Billy Baldwin? No
PSA was spot the warning signs.
You may be in a Jules Schumacher movie.
All right, well, we may be in a Jules Schumacher movie.
So we're gonna take another quick break
and then we'll be back with more flatliners.
So wait, why are we sneaking into Marsh's house again?
Three words, Heath, Subliminal messaging.
Oh, you're done.
That's two words.
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Wait a second, Eli, which address did you pull for March?
Uh, the one for Skeptic group.
Why?
Eli, this is not March's house.
This is Andy Wilson's house.
Oh!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
Because he's a murderer.
Hey, thanks for helping us out with our pitches for matriot march.
Appreciate it. Oh yeah, no problem at all. Happy to contribute. So have you got like a script
or something? Oh, you know what? I forgot to send it to you, but here you go. You can just read
this like right on the spot, right? I mean, can I not have a quick look first?
I'm fine. Just go ahead. Just go right into it. Just straight into it. Okay. Okay. Fine.
Right. We'll do this. Okay. Hi there. It's me, Michael Marshall so easy. You're just straight in straight in. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Okay.
Hi there.
It's me, Michael Marshall reminding you that this matriene, if we get enough new and upgrading
patrons, I'll uncancel QEDQED Eli.
There's a literal pandemic on.
Yeah.
The whole script is the next thing.
It's fine.
We got to cover it.
Just keep going.
And I know what you're thinking.
Isn't there a pandemic?
Oh, there we go.
No problem.
Because this year uncancel QD is going to be held in my house. Why are you inviting people to my home Eli?
The copy, please, just read the copy. It's got the answer since professionalism.
But that's not all. Everyone who comes to QD will get a free COVID vaccine. Heathony
Lai have been stealing them by wearing fake arms to mass vaccination sites and we're
all going to do shots of them. That's not how you take a vaccine. Isn't
that a crime stealing vaccines is a crime right now?
Just read the copy. Oh my God.
I'm fine, fine. Head over to patreon.com.
Follow slash God awful to pledge or increase your pledge today or find out more details
at matrion.com. That's matrion. Come to my house and do shots of vaccine with my cat.
Thank you. I don't know why I said yes to this because you love us.
Did you want to say something back at the end?
Should I say anything just to confirm?
No, my light recording with you.
Like I do.
And we're back.
When we left off, William Baldwin's engagement video
was not also a sex tape and I think we're all
kind of disappointed and then it gets even worse. Now we're watching William Baldwin having a very
sexual dream about his birth. Is that a picture of what that is? Yes, I imagine that the filming script for this, these scenes were titled, you. Yeah.
So let me clarify here, everyone when they die, they get their own little afterlife.
Keith D'Assadoland, he ran through a field with some children.
We're going to understand what that means.
We're going to see Kevin Bacon's later, spoiler alert.
We'll see Julia Roberts this as well.
But for the record and of almost no consequence, Billy Baldwin's afterlife
is being born and then his mom transitioning into all the women he fucked.
Yeah. I mean, you don't really touch back on the whole being born and the mum thing,
which felt like that could have been a really big plot point for Billy Baldwin's character
progression. But instead, we just see him in what is
basically like another one of his sex tapes when when his mother was apparently friends
with Cruella Deville at some point.
Definitely, definitely, definitely Cruella Deville.
Yeah, a lot to unpack about.
I think Billy Baldwin in real life, his very sexual birth, then transitions into like a
1940s playboy with Cruella Deville is a lot going on.
Yeah. And it's one of those things like, you know how when you see feet in a Quentin Tarantino
film, you know, it's a sex thing for him. This scene, you're like, okay, shoot, Mocker, we get it,
man. You couldn't just, couldn't buy this from a German firm somewhere. I feel like there were
male order catalogues. You could have done them with, dude, you didn't have to put it in the movie.
And then they bring him back to life again.
And the only reason I bring that up and I, I genuinely from the bottom of my heart, I
hope we skip some of these bringing the person back to life is they will have the exact same
scene over and over and over again in this movie.
Can we bring him back to life?
Hey, man, the shock battles, but nope, them back to life? Hey, man, the shock
battles, but nope, not back to life yet. Should we do the shock battle more probably or
we just go straight to the third setting? Okay. Nope, not that I, but each time the movie
is like, man, what suspense, right? And you're like, no, movie. This is the 87th brought
back to life scene with the exact same pattern. I was bored by the second one, which is
that scene. Yeah, this is where Kevin Bacon jumps in and he's like, let me do the CPR.
I count better. That's my thing. Julia Roberts is the injecting person. I'm the counter
person.
Kevin Bacon is the only one who can bring them back to life by doing very basic CPR semi
competently. Right. So now they're in an abandoned 1950s diner, where Billy Baldwin
is explaining his experience to them. The movie will never acknowledge that the diner
is empty from the 1950s abandoned and that there is a single waitress who spends the entire
scene wandering back and forth in the foreground in front of the movie camera.
This diner waitress hates all of them. And I love her. She's great. She can't stand
anything down. Yeah. This is like when all the theater kids would go out after the show
to Denys and just order coffees. This lady got imported from all of those Denys to do
this scene and hate these actors. So the thing is they said to him like, you know, so what was it like? They said to
be bold and what was it like? And he says, you know, great. Didn't he say define great?
And I want them to say, you know, there were boobs everywhere, but in black and white,
put a classy like, you know, he actually says clat. He's like, I don't want you to think this was
like, you know, Tadry. This was a classy childbirth sexual experience with older women that I was having.
It's very classy.
It was a feminine presence.
It was a feminist NDE that I had.
It's feminist.
It wasn't casually sexual.
It was vaguely feminine.
And like dozens of women in their laundry is more than vaguely feminine.
And there's also this great moment where he's like, he's like, yeah, there were women
in lingerie.
It was deeply erotic and you could see key for Southern being like, oh, fuck, I got kids
running through a field.
Can we do me again?
I want sexy birth, fuck.
Yeah, but you're assuming that that wasn't deeply erotic for Keefer, Sudland.
Yeah, exactly.
You're not always into it.
Really wanted him to get nervous.
Yeah, mine was erotic too, but I don't want to talk about it.
Oh, get nervous the other way.
Like, yeah, no, mine wasn't erotic at all.
Mine definitely was not, I was not even slightly around by one.
You guys ever get into a fight in a hockey game as a kid with one of the other kids in
like a section?
No, no, no, no, you don't have to believe Baldwin's thing.
And again, Kevin Bacon coming in with the atheist hypothesis no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, at all, but to keep pointing out that he's the atheist, but not even mentioned any kind of religion at all.
We do get a very prominent Jesus moment though.
Yeah, sure.
We'll get there.
So yeah, but yes, I agree.
They're all doctors and they are logical people except when they're not.
Yeah, it's ridiculous.
They actually say at this point, they're like, so Kevin Bacon, you're an atheist.
You got nothing to lose by dying, right?
Why don't you just die next?
And it's like, yeah, that're an atheist, you got nothing to lose by dying, right? Why don't you just die next?
And it's like, yeah, that's the atheist experience. Just nothing matters.
Just enjoying my decaying carbon over here.
Maybe I'd die tomorrow.
Who the fuck cares?
That's atheist.
Yeah, great.
Yeah, I know for certain that I'm fairly confident there's nothing
following this life.
And therefore, there's no reason for me to not die immediately.
That's right.
That's that's how they describe it here.
Yes.
And again, Oliver Platt breaking the movie. He's like, a third person. Why would a third person
be more information? Can anyone, can you see me? If Oliver Platte was a ghost, this movie
makes a ton of sense. Like what you don't know is that one of them went out earlier.
They flatlined before the film started and all of the plat is the one haunting them. Yeah.
I apologize for that.
That's what's up so much better.
Oh God.
Do you remember when we had that student friend all the plat and we just refused to listen
to him every time he said something we said so we didn't pay any attention to him.
I need to apologize to him for that.
That's my sin.
I love that they yell back at Oliver Platte here.
They're like, we can't turn back now and he's like, why not?
Yeah. What are we going tour? It's not turning. It's just we don't kill anybody anymore.
We just why are they outbidding each other? Why do they think it needs to be longer? Did they not
like, did it not work? It worked for Keith Sildland at the time he did. William Baldwin went longer.
That also worked not to a higher degree to the same degree. So why do they need to go longer?
I really wanted to be like in the bidding world. They're like, right, 20 minutes. Yes, I would come up forever.
And they just shoot some stuff. If you're bidding on how long you can stay dead, I feel like going
up in increments of 10 seconds is not a good bidding strategy. Go one at a time. It's quite a
while we start to add them up. It should be maybe a blind auction scenario where you're right now.
Oh, yeah, I don't know auction scenario where you're right now.
Yeah.
I don't know.
But then you got the asshole who was like, I put in 45 minutes.
I didn't know how much dead I should be.
It's that long.
Oh, that seems long.
They spread it in like vague numbers that you could turn upside down and change them
and really interpret it.
Shimmer.
Shimmer.
Yeah.
Okay.
But the answer to why they have to keep going according to the movie we're about to learn the answer is
atheism is the control in this
Yeah, so like Kevin Bacon needs to almost die to make sure that like even the atheist will see
Jesus because that's for sure real
So yeah, he outbid Julia Roberts
She storms out and then he follows her and they have a
him sexually harassing her scene.
We also get more anti atheism here. Julia Roberts is like, okay, Kevin Bacon, the atheist,
how do you explain people all over the world having NDE's and seeing the same things?
And he's like, well, I mean, vague tunnel of light, that's, you
can't see a tunnel of dark. So like, the fact that's just nothing mostly, that's everybody
might say that, that's dumb. And brain damage, just so we, just to be clear brain damage is
part of it. Also, they don't like the big problem is they don't. Right? People see things
that are relevant to their culture. Yeah, yeah,
absolutely. So you always get it very culturally bound by way from and thing is on a real-world
global scale that is absolutely true. But even in the universe of this movie, you've seen two
near-death experiences that were completely fucking different. One was clear to the field,
the other was birth and sexy ladies. Those aren't the same things. So even if you're on experiment, that doesn't follow. How come they were both inside a
Joel shoe marker movie, then if they're not identical. And his answer to it is like, you
know, maybe the brain has some chemistry that does that. And she's like, no, no, you're
reaching there. Yeah, you're reaching. It's definitely that there's an afterlife and
God was doing. Is he reaching? Isn't that literally the answer chemically scientific?
Yeah, it is that doctors, the doctors, they show this.
But also, you don't need to have a near death experience
to find out why your brain does a tunnel thing when you die.
You just need to pass out, right?
Or go to sleep on a weird night and you're like,
oh, yeah, that weird brown rollercoaster feeling.
Yep, that's your brain shut enough. Yeah. So now, Keith for Sutherland is going to
search for the horror parts of this horror movie. And he's just walking through, I mean,
he's walking through the cysteine chapel. There's CD alleys at one point, a homeless lady
delivers him a message from the afterlife he visited.
Right.
But first, there's a giant late-night bicycle gang
that drives right through him.
And they never come back. What was that?
Yeah, I wrote down that I hate,
he just walked right through the middle of the tour de France
and I really hate it when they have stages that aren't in France.
It's a tour of France, but it's in Italy or your post-apocalyptic robot conflict.
Troy keeps the Sutherland's clearly walking through.
But yeah, it's a home-us-lady deliver-as-you-wim a message from the afterlife.
They're mad at him for visiting and not signing the guest book apparently.
And then he's like, oh, that was unsettling. I guess I better, I don't know, walk around
these creepy abandoned subway tunnels for a little while. That'll make me feel better
And it's it's so frustrating when you're walking home at night and it's dark
And you take the wrong turn you end up in Blade Runner. I've done it a million times
It's so frustrating. Oh, man. My blade runner. This is a disabled dog with pants again this dog
He runs into the dog who is butt scooting forever for eternity, apparently.
At pace, at pace, because this dog really moves, because he tries to follow him and this
dog outpaces him.
And there's lots of like, I reckon Jules Schumacher was really happy himself here, because
there's lots of very heavy-handed symbolism of him heading down a tunnel that has a light
at the end of it.
And that he's a corridor, and there's a light at the end of the corridor.
And so Jules Schumacher, he was five game so all the way through that scene. There's you can't hear
any of the original audio. You have to re-dubit because of the sound of him high five
game self. So hard. But here's what's going through key for someone's head. He's like,
oh, it's my maybe childhood dog who is now disabled and wears pants. Hey, buddy, champ,
his name's champ. Hey, champ, you, you're walking down a wet tunnel there.
That's abandoned. Let me follow you. And he follows the dog through this wet tunnel to the amazing
high five light nailed it. And then he sees a kid, yep, just hanging out in a wet tunnel.
The best thing ever happened. Then the kid kicks him in the ball.
And the best thing ever happened. Then the kid kicks him in the balls.
Contras him in the face.
It's so good because he walks up to him
and there's just a moment of silent tension.
And then the kid, don't get it, don't get it.
Like, he's in the distance.
So what?
Okay.
Surprise, no shot.
I would like to propose to the jury
that we spoil this part of the movie
because it makes it so much more insane and funny.
Oh, okay, yes.
Okay.
This child who just kicked him in the dick and punched him in the face, he killed as a child.
When Kiefer Sutherland was a child, he chased this child up a tree.
Through a rock hit it, that child fell, hit a branch that branch landed on his dog, broke his dog's legs and the child died.
So now that he has gone to the afterlife, this is the plot of the movie, my friends.
Now that he has gone to the plot of the answer life, Ghost Dog, I assume came from like,
fucking fire engine and Marrowbone heaven over to ghost child and was like, hey, do you want
to fuck with my former owner?
I could like lure him into the subway and then kick him in the balls.
And little Billy was like, absolutely, that is how I want to spend my afterlife.
Great fucking plan.
The other thing I'd like to, that I propose we should spoil at this moment is what's really
happening in this scene where
he's getting beaten up by a child.
Because as we lay to learn, he'll be beaten up by a child by this child at other points,
but we'll see it from another angle.
And he's fight clubbing himself, beating himself up, which is very so at this point, he
for Sutherland walked down a tunnel, stood still for a while and punched himself in the
dick.
Okay, buddy, hit himself in the dick. And that is what this thing looks like. Okay, but he hit himself in the dick.
How do you do that?
Oh, release the, well, first of all, Riverdance, second of all, release the delusion cut.
Forget the Snyder cut.
I want the delusion cut where we just watch Keith or Sutherland fighting himself.
Where is that cut?
I mean, I think it's on various videos where he's jumping into Christmas.
I was going to say that it's the Christmas tree video.
Also, I have and will continue to accidentally
call him Keither Sutherland throughout this. And I don't need your tweets. I don't know how to say
words. And I apologize to no one. So now it's time to kill Kevin Bacon. They've settled on two
minutes and 20 seconds. Yes. And so when you're under, you remember that you see your biggest mistake
and I hope Kevin Bacon just sees Bernie middle.
He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he.
See, I wrote my notes, Kevin Bacon's having it just cuts
to him, not doing the woodsmen,
just like, I don't think this movie is very good.
I don't want to do this one.
But his heaven is a mountain and then a fetus?
Is that meant to be him as the fetus?
Because if so, it's like, yeah, you see, life does begin a conception.
He's got all the way back. Check my ith.
Also, if this was baby Kevin Bacon absorbing his own twin in utero,
I'd be 100% to hear for it, 100% down for that.
That's his sin. His sin is, oh shit, I absorb my own twin. He's got to apologize to like a tiny cluster
of cells. But no, we do get a hint of what his sin is. And it is the second greatest thing
about this movie. It will be a very, very angry little black girl and she will come back
later in an extraordinary way. So now we cut back to Keith
or Sutherland getting home. I only point the scene out because it's this big tense moment
where he's like, oh, I hope a kid doesn't show up and beat me up. And then the kid shows
up and beat the shit out of him and spits in his mouth. Yes. The ghost in this horror movie, Keither Sutherland, Joel Schumacher, dark moody, neon
floor lights, right?
And then the ghost of this movie, Hawksaloogey into Keither Sutherland's mouth, my friends.
It's so silly.
It's so incredibly, because they play it so tense, they're trying to ramp the tension
up and then a 10 year old spits in his mouth. He's like, one step away from giving a wet willy.
I was going to say this would be like if the girl from the grudge gave you a purple
nirple.
Oh, oh, oh, so now we cut to Kevin Bacon waking up, but Julia Roberts stayed the night to make
sure he was okay. They did not fuck yet. She just stayed the night to make sure he was
okay. And she's mad at him because he wants to go again. She wants to go. And he's like,
ah, you know, I believe in God now. Don't kill yourself for extra long. And she's like, no,
I have some people I cared about who died. I need to check on them to make sure they're okay.
Yeah. And she'll need exactly four minutes and 25 seconds to check on all those people.
I wanted her to get her wish.
She doesn't, but I really wanted her just like show up in heaven and she's running around.
Hey, grandma, you having a good time?
Okay, cool.
Hey, Uncle Larry, I say everything cool.
Here, okay, whatever.
Well, it's not going to go check on my sister.
Let's just try to catch her.
Hey, how's it going, Karen, you having a good time?
Okay.
Good, good, good, good.
Okay, there she be bringing me back any second now.
Just go straight to the third shocky thing. God damn it. It's close.
Or it's just her and heaven doing a ring around. So she's not even running around. It's
just her with like an old school rotary phone. She's like,
grandma. Okay. Hang on. She's grandma. Hold you a bit to your mouth, grandma.
Should have done the different order. I don't have time to talk about this next thing. I have
to call somebody else. Thank you.
Thank you.
So we have another quick scene with old lady.
And again, if this wasn't going to pay off my friends,
I wouldn't bring it up again.
But she's like, hello, Julia Roberts.
I'm dying.
Anything new and death related with you and Julia Roberts
is like, no, you're dying tonight.
I mean, you, well, you are.
So hello today.
Julia Roberts just says, yeah, you are dying, but it's cool.
My, my atheist friend had an NDE.
He saw heaven with like Jesus for sure.
So you're good. You're fine.
Yeah.
Yeah. Basically Julia Roberts tells the old old lady to just die already.
And we were all thinking it every time we saw just die already.
Even the voices in the old ladies head were telling it to
die already. At this point, this consensus. Kevin Bacon saw Jesus. So you want me to like just
smother you. You're, uh, she starts to push on her face with the bill. Oh, okay. Sorry. I got
to, I got a mixed signal just now. I thought you nodded, felt like you nodded. And now it's time for
the second greatest scene on the train. Kevin Bacon is going to be roasted by a little black girl
ghost for a while.
It's pretty great.
So long.
So okay, sorry, I gotta set it up.
I gotta set it up.
I'm getting ahead of myself.
Kevin Bacon saw on a train and then it goes through a tunnel
and then a little black girl appears and insults him
for an hour. It's so good. And she absolutely rattles it off.
She calls him Felatio because his name is like Lucratio, Lebraceio or something like that.
And then she just rattles through the insults. And you know what, fair play to it. I've
heard you guys do Roads for Charity. It's not easy to keep coming up with insults, but she
just powers through. She's not even phased when she starts running out of decent insults and starts going with
like banana breath and tire merchant.
At one point, she calls him a tire merchant.
I feel like she was put on the spot.
I feel like she was starting her now.
Like, tire merchant is just a job kid.
It's perfectly respectable job.
But other than that, you don't want her intro is also very weird.
Was that when she was like, hey, got a match?
Yes, this is exactly what I'm talking about.
She says got a match in Kevin Bacon's like,
I don't know what's happening right now.
She's like, well, I do your face in my ass.
What?
I paused to laugh for a while,
because I wasn't ready.
It was so good.
We should also point out that the tone of this movie
until this point has been very serious
even with the Lou Gehawking child.
So the fact that the movie screeches to a halt literally and metaphorically so that this
girl can be like, fuck you, fuck you in the face, fuck you man, you fat ass piece of shit
for ever.
I was crying with laughter.
I was crying and it goes for so long. I just wanted
the rest of this two hour movie, just to be this little girl insulting Kevin Bacon.
Okay. So at this point, we didn't know, like we spoiled it for you before, but we didn't know
everything yet. So when I'm watching this, all I know is that this girl was introduced once as she plays some jump rope in Kevin Bacon's
NDE. And now she's showing up. So I'm like, oh, is she part of like a tragic jump rope incident
as part of like what happened there? I just, I'm picturing Kevin Bacon getting all wrapped up
in jump rope, trying to double Dutch, hurting himself and like somehow grabbing her into it and they both get strangled. I don't know. I was laughing a lot for this entire
scene, including it's all vulgarity for charity roasts moving forward. Top donor next
year, we will just play this clip outside the window of anyone you ask. So now it's time
for Julia Roberts to die.
I'm giver Sutherland, who has apparently been getting the shit beaten out of him by an
eight year old on the reg.
Like practically military crawls in self way in the door.
He's got open wounds and a rubber chicken sticking out of his ear and they're like, hey,
keep it so much.
Get the shit beat out of you.
And he's like, no, I'm good. I'm good.
I said, let's kill Julia. I play hockey sometimes and a child hit me in the face over and over
with the stick. It's normal. Can we just do the thing?
Right. So now it's time for her afterlife. And this is where the pattern of the movie breaks
in a really weird way that I didn't understand.
So again, if I may pull back the camera slightly for our podcast listeners,
what this movie posits is, you do bad stuff.
Carmically, when you die or if you have an NDE, it comes back to haunt you.
Yes. Okay. That makes sense.
What Julia Roberts did,
Carmically, that's bad, is her dad killed himself
because she walked into the room when she was a child.
Yes, and that's all we know of this moment.
Yeah, it's insane and they won't,
for the rest of my notes, I was like,
that makes no sense.
She didn't do anything wrong.
Why is she being haunted?
It looked a little bit like,
because he's got his back to her when she walks in
and it looked like he was wanking into the bathtub.
And I thought, oh, is that what it is?
And then he runs out and he's kind of like all scared
and I think he then kills himself.
And I thought, is he just really overreacting
to like not having locked the door
when he wanted to have a little some alarm time?
I thought she just watched her dad
taking a ship by accident and that was like a mortal sin
According to this movie is like okay. Don't see your dad shitting. That's your fault if he kills himself right after that
What to be fair if anyone ever saw me shitting I would also have to take my own life. That's for the best
But again, this is so with it. This is the classic
Shoemaker doesn't know what he's doing because she opens the door.
He runs out, mother's like, no. And then there's a gunshot and a car window with a hole in it.
Did he go out, get in the car and shoot himself in the car?
It seems that way. That's what they're saying. Yeah.
But hasn't the car also crashed? Because it looked like it wasn't like the car. It seems like that's what they're saying. Yeah. But hasn't the car also crashed?
Cause it looked like it wasn't like the car.
I wasn't in no fit to see where the car removed, but I thought he drove away in the car
and then shot himself and I thought, is he driving and he shot himself while he's
driving?
That's how he's crashed.
Okay.
So he got into the car, wrote it for like 10 feet, hoping that that crash would kill him.
It didn't.
And then he shot himself.
Okay, yeah.
That is the story, the movie tells us.
That's what we see, right?
Right.
Also one other detail.
Julia Roberts NDE doesn't start with this immediately.
It starts with extremely white Caucasian Jesus
out of nowhere for no reason.
And then she gets to see her dad shitting or whatever.
Yeah, I had it.
Is that Ted Cruz Jesus?
Yeah, I just think it's kind of needy that Jesus had to show up first.
And then he was like, okay, now you can see your haunty thing.
You said me, me, I am Jesus here.
Okay, go.
It's not even Jesus.
It's a picture of Jesus.
Like, like Jesus couldn't be bothered to make it to her NDE experience.
So we sent one of those like automatically signed a bytank.
And actually, you just reminded me, the movie fucks this up.
We see that exact painting of Jesus on the wall of her childhood house in a later version
of this same flashback.
Yes.
So they're just admitting that like, yeah, you see things that you've seen before sometimes.
Because over that, it would have been like,
Jesus is there on Skype,
but he hasn't turned his camera on,
so you're just getting his profile photo.
He hasn't bothered,
he hasn't been in his hair.
He wasn't looking right.
He's just, you know, the profile photo.
Yeah, I get it.
Yeah, when you turn off your zoom camera,
everyone wonders if you're pooping.
That's Jesus in this NDA.
And then they bring her back to life.
Will they bring her back to life? Yes, they bring her back to life. Although I will point out
this is where they introduce per killium, the don't inject her injection, which they'll
use at the end of the movie. And the only reason I bring this up is Marsh. You have to
get this drunk at QED. I need to, if I don't inject you with per killium, then you haven't
fully committed to QED in February.
Got you.
So you do that while Heath is just next to, next to you doing the Kevin Bacon thing of
having amazing ability to bring some on back, which consists of saying come back, come,
come back.
Just shouting, clearly.
Okay.
But this all thing happens for another funny reason.
I actually left.
They're about to do the defibrillator again.
And then the power in the building goes out.
Oh God, I forgot about it. Yeah. Oh, because of the rain, because the rain, because rain shuts down the power in most museums.
So they're like, William Baldwin, did you charge the battery on the defibrillator? And he's like, shit.
Sorry. Shit The one job man one job was power up the battery he forgot and
So this is when keep your southern is like okay, I'm injecting her with the poison burn lever
I'm really I'm saying or whatever and Kevin Bacon's like hey, hey, hey
Don't inject her with poison. He's just like sorry. I jumped the gun
I don't even know how to have a poison injection thing right here. He's just like, sorry, I jumped the gun. I don't even know who have a poison injection thing
right here. That's crazy, right?
Why did I fill a needle full of bleach before this session?
That wouldn't have been good.
Yeah, but she makes it.
She makes it.
She makes it.
Even though she's not shocked again, just Kevin Bacon shouts,
come back.
And so she goes like, oh, yeah, yeah, good point.
Oh, okay.
And now it's time for Kevin Bacon to explain the plot of this movie.
And it's like he's reading the script
and dictating it to his agent.
He's like, okay, so hear me out.
When you die, if you were mean to a kid
in elementary school, which I was,
they come back and they roast you.
And I was like, okay, so like you killed that little girl
or she killed herself for something.
And he's like, I'm gonna look her up but she's still alive. And I was like, okay, well, So like, you killed that little girl and she killed herself for something. And he's like, I'm gonna look her up
and she's still alive.
And I was like, okay, well, if she's still alive,
this movie makes no fucking sense.
Well, I learned this movie makes no fucking sense.
How he's introducing it is great as well.
Cause you're like, you know guys,
something strange happened to me on the train.
Like a little girl was like so mean,
like so, so mean.
on the train like a little girl was like so mean, like so, so mean. So yeah, that's his haunting experience. And then they go around the, you know, the group and they're like, hey, anybody
else getting haunted by their past and Billy Baldwin has to be like, yeah, it has
mostly gross sexual misconduct on mine. I mean, keeper, do you have, okay, keeper, you go,
you get in haunted.
I wouldn't say I'm getting haunted
so much as I'm getting me to
it by the afterlife.
Does that make sense?
Do you guys,
does anybody have like a hockey demon
that spat in their mouth please?
And keep us like you.
He's so casually like,
oh yeah, no, I'm being holed
to by the spirit of a night you old kid.
He beats me up some time, you know,
NBD, it's not a big deal, guys.
Okay, but the reaction that they wrote for the other characters, they're like, you got, NBD. It's not a big deal, guys. Okay. But the reaction that they wrote
for the other characters, they're like, you got beat up by a child ghost and didn't tell us.
And I'm like, weird choice for an emotion. And all these doctors are immediately like, okay,
but you that's different. Yours with the hockey team and it's different. You really got beat up.
I see your face. You look ridiculous. Obviously our sins have come
to life science. So that's the plot of the movie from now. Yeah. And they say, but that's not
possible. And Keith the Southern says, well, yeah, but this whole lab is impossible. Is that
is the whole lab impossible? Because all you're doing is stopping someone's heart and then bringing it
back again, using a defibrillator, which happens in ERs around the country regularly.
That's real. Yeah. It's pretty, it's possible. It's plausible. It's probable.
Okay. Around the world with the defibrillators, just made me think of this. So when you zap them,
you have to yell clear. I'm assuming it's the same in every language. They say they yell clear.
And the point is like, nobody touched the person because you'll get zapped too. Is that why?
Mm-hmm. Well, that's why, but I don't know if they definitely always use clear. So they're not
used like a local language. I don't imagine like in a hospital where you're not using English
very often, you're going to use an English word for that because clear is get clear.
Right.
If you're saying a word that no one understands, then that's not going to do the job.
Well, yeah, I'm assuming they would, yeah, I'm assuming they would use the word of their
language that means right.
Oh, right. So I thought you the word of their language that means clear.
I thought you meant they were always going to say clear.
I know.
They've all seen movies so they say clear.
No, I'm guessing I thought you were saying too.
It might have been like a standardization thing of like, you know, doctors can come from all
around the, or lots of different countries, in the UK, full of doctors from parts of Europe.
So you standardize it around a single word and maybe they'll teach that word.
Okay. Okay. I'm assuming they say the word clear in their language. So what I'm thinking is
a French doctor would be like, Claire, but what if somebody named Claire is in that room?
I feel like you can't confuse him.
Yeah, that would be, that would be a problem.
Or if you have German where it's like Shrinderhut, right? I feel like the timing on that is weird,
because you got a way. That's true, although isn't the German just
Klaar? Probably. Probably not.
Because Germans call up and say, oh yeah, yeah, Alice Klaar, I said,
otherwise solid, absolutely solid.
Clarinsky, if it's Russian.
Right, so medical jargon aside, now we're going to cut to keep their son lint.
And it's like he's preparing for a final battle with the kid.
He bars his door, like calling out the ghost kid.
He's like, come on, you pussy.
Oh, yeah, absolutely golden this dead child.
It's amazing.
Feels like you suit up with your hockey pads at that point.
I don't know.
You've been beaten up a few times by the hockey kid. He spat in your mouth, get maybe at that point. I don't know, you've been beaten up a few times by the hockey kid.
He spat in your mouth, get maybe a face shield.
I don't know.
Really wanted Billy to appear behind him.
Dude, I'm a ghost.
Wack.
Ah, God damn it.
All right.
Well, it looks like Act Three does not need a hard sell because a child is going
to beat up key for Southern Linda again more a bunch.
But first a quick break and then we'll be back for the amazing conclusion of flatliners. Clear. I told you not to put in the IV of
Manga Necta. Yeah, nope, that's fair, Marsh, that's fair. Okay, so Eli, did you see anything on the
other side? Yeah, yeah, I did like a bunch of people I bullied in high school were there.
Yeah, like a lot.
Like a lot.
A lot.
Yeah, and they all started at once.
So I didn't really hear anything at first,
but then after a little while,
they all sort of spoke amongst themselves
and they worked out a kind of take a number system,
but even then it was a nightmare.
Right, but did anyone mention a prank website?
No, they did not.
I guess I was only dead for a few minutes
because everybody, all the high school people,
they got like three seconds of per second.
Three seconds, three seconds, okay.
Didn't, oh, I did get to see Matt Powell though.
Nice, did you apologize to Matt Powell?
No, I told him to fuck himself.
Nice, cool.
And you're absolutely sure nobody said anything about prank websites.
Marsha, if you wanted to turn, you should have gotten a lower number.
Silly Michael, that's not how you declare bankruptcy.
Oh, hey, Keith, what are you doing?
Oh, hey, Marsha, just watch from a favorite show.
Well, again, yeah, I mean, I was gonna watch TV writers who haven't read Lovecraft or
superheroes, but not again,
but I don't know, feels kind of samey.
Well, if you're looking for something new to watch, why don't you try A-Con TV?
Ooh, watching a tree grow.
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All right, I'm sold. Now, uh, you guys want to watch Marvel try to make minor characters interesting
so they can make more movies now that everyone but Scar Jo quit. Sure. Yeah, I guess so.
And we're back. And the flat liner gang is hanging out at Julie Roberts apartment for her
NDE after party. They seem to like these. Yeah. Okay. And they're like,
okay, everyone. So we've established the plot of the movie. We're being haunted by our pests.
So Julia Roberts, if you see anything bad in your visions, let me know. Okay, bye.
Also, Kevin Bacon stays here because, you know, they're supposed to be a love interest kind of thing going on here.
And he's got a handful of books that he's going to read.
One of them, Philosophy of Death and Dying.
So he's reading this to like study up on the logistics of Ghost Revenge, which is not the plot.
This is from her bedside table.
I spotted this earlier because she's just got hundreds of books basically on a bedside
table.
And it's death, the final frontier, philosophy of death and dying, death and neurosis,
defining death and euthanasia.
And I, if you went home with Julia Roberts and that was her nightstand, you suddenly remember
you had a really early meeting the next morning.
Ah, disagree.
Julia Roberts.
She could have how to cook Eli Bosnick and it'd be like,
is it an afterward situation or a forced situation?
Yeah, like a mantis thing. Yeah.
Exactly.
I feel like that's a win for me.
Now, question.
Okay, so just philosophical question.
Based on the universe of this movie,
if you were a good person,
would you get haunted by like pleasant ghosts at this point?
If you had an enemy.
Yeah, so like the little girl you helped across the street
would show up and like,
and just like high five you,
give you a look at your favorite food.
Like, hey, I brought pancakes, I don't know why I said pancakes, that's Like your favorite food. Hey, I brought pancakes from
I don't know why I said pancakes.
That's not my favorite food.
If that was a kiss, then that little girl
for the act of having been helped across the street
is doomed fraternity to be serving you pancakes.
Which is hell.
Let's say waffles because they're better.
That's just the actual true.
Would you have to scare her away
by finding her as an adult and being mean to her, which is what
Kevin, like, oh, hi, are you Cindy Grayson from the third grade? There they take that you bitch.
Tell your soul to leave me alone. See, these are the things they should have explored.
These are the questions this movie is too scared to answer. Now, you remember how earlier
before the commercial break, I told
you that it would be funny if Kiefer Sutherland was sitting there waiting for the ghost and
the ghost just appeared from behind him and kicked his ass. That's what happens in the
movie now.
It's so good because at the start of the scene, we just have Kiefer Sutherland waking up
fully clothed on the floor, brandishing his screwdriver, which is just a regular Tuesday
for Kiefer Sutherland. That is how most Tuesdays start for you.
Absolutely.
He's planning to kill a child that he bullied to death we know now.
Yes.
He's planning to kill that child with a screwdriver.
And can I just say, if this movie had ended in a final fight to the death between Keither
Sutherland and a child.
It is my favorite movie, right?
Just them like shirtless in the rain.
I should have killed you in the head, the chance, Billy.
I should have killed you in the head, the chance.
Stop moving, I'm spitting your mouth again, deal with it.
But Billy grabs the screwdriver off him and hits him so hard across the face with a screwdriver
that it knocks him out.
Yep. So that kid's really got an arm on him. Yeah. But like, if this is the fight club thing,
he's beating himself up with a screwdriver now. Yes, he is. Just again, show us that.
Oh, that would have been great. Release the ghost cut. So we cut over to Julia Roberts.
She, of course, gets haunted by her dead. We all have dead dad, Popska. We all have that.
Yeah. That's what happens in the movie. Dead, Popska. Dead all have dead dad popska. We all have that. Yeah.
That's what happens in the movie.
Dead pop scare.
Dead pop scare.
But remember how I promised the old lady
soon would pay off?
When this happens, she runs to the old lady's hospital bed,
presumably to be like,
don't die.
Anything bad is gonna haunt you when you get there.
Don't listen, old lady.
Did you like kill your dad by seeing him shit?
Or did you like hunt a child and dream anything like that?
It might not work out.
So were you ever mean to a child once like 70 years ago
because that's going to be your eternity now?
This is fun.
Have you been involved in a tragic jump rope incident?
That is the other one.
Okay, you can die.
Smother, smother, smother.
No, sorry, I just keeps happening.
Oh my God, you got to stop nodding.
That's not, well, it's better.
She gets there and the old lady's dead
and the nurse is like, yes, people die sometimes.
And Julian Roberts is like, you're fucking understand.
Dying is bad.
And the nurse is like, I know dying is bad.
The hell you fall through med school,
all you to come across that mission.
Listen, I got to be because of a curve.
I didn't, it's fine.
Dying in his body.
I just saw it in a Rembrandt.
It's, I've only just seen that Rembrandt,
which is why we've only slurred.
So now we cut over to Kevin Bacon.
He's having a flashback of bullying the little girl
at school.
Right, he had to physically go to the playground
where he went to school as a kid to have this
flashback.
Yep.
To properly doodly do.
Yeah.
He doodly doodly at the scene of the doodly doodly to make it easier, metaphysically, I suppose.
Here's a philosophical question as well.
And let's say that Ken Bacon rather than bullying this little girl actually bullied Billy
Mahoney who then got killed by Keith Ascivil. Does Billy haunt
them both? Or does the worst thing to see even himself? This is a great question. I
definitely want to see the kid holding Kevin Bacon and Keith Ascivil downspinning to both
the right exactly. He'd have to beat up Keith Ascivil, but he'd only have to roast
Kevin Bacon. Oh, right. Yeah, it has to match up.
It has to match up.
Doesn't make sense otherwise.
Good point, Marsh.
So now Billy Baldwin is going to face the consequences of his sex crimes.
We should point out that like, yes, Keith Versailles and technically killed his person,
but it was an accident.
Billy Baldwin has been doing sex crimes as an adult in the timeline of this movie.
He is done by far the worst stuff.
Oh yeah, but his haunting is just gonna be women being like,
you shouldn't have filmed me while I was fucking.
Yeah, they need to kick him in the dick, but yeah,
I was so excited because he walks into his apartment, right?
And they're all like, they all like show up out of the corners.
They're like, oh, baby, yeah, I gotta show you.
I love you physically. Come on, I won't judge it right. They're all using his lines on him. And I was like,
kick his ass. Kick his ass. Where are you guys so excited for these ghost ladies to kick his ass?
Yeah, except that what they were saying was saw tame and saw straight down the lens of the camera,
like cheating is bad, doing sex crimes about it felt like a PSA. They show in a Christian
school about having pre-marital sex. But Here are the lines you use to pressure me into having
sex with you. And I didn't want to, this could happen to you two teens. Yeah. It's like
a dare workbook thing. But for that, okay, question though. Did all these women die somehow,
since ever since they're alive.
Yeah.
Or are these are living people who are helping out
other revenge ghosts?
I think they are.
So based on little black girl,
who we will learn is alive and well, right?
I think that your sins just take the form
of the people you wronged when they're not there
alive. Oh, he's hallucinating alive people is what you're saying.
Yeah, those women aren't really there. They're just, they are his sins. So that's why he's
like, that's not, that's not why he's like, Oh, shit, I slept with you and then you died.
That's weird. And then another one, oh, you also died. That's weird. Also, it'd be strange
for him to have slept with so many women who then quickly died afterwards. Yeah, that was what I was getting at. That was weird. Okay.
So you think that the only crime, like he committed more than just the crime of filming them
without their consent, like he then killed them afterwards. Yeah, that would have been
a twist worth pointing out. Okay. So now we cut over to Kevin Bacon and he's doing the 90s Facebook and apologize thing.
I wrote my notes.
I've been there, K-bakes.
I've been there.
And so he calls little black girls dad and he's like, hello, did you have a daughter?
You did.
Can I have her address and phone number?
I can.
Wonderful.
Yeah.
Pre-cellphones were a weird time.
I'm a total stranger. Could I have your
daughter's number and all my dress? Absolutely. Did you have a daughter called Winnie Hicks?
You do. And while you're at it, do you have a copy of Fly Fishing by J.R. Hartley?
That's a very British reference you guys will not get, but that's a very famous advert in the UK
for the yellow pictures. Okay. Very, very famous ad. Good. Good. I'm going to get an Acorn TV.
every very famous ad. Good. Good. I got to get an acorn TV.
Our acorn TV subscribers are loving that one. They're absolutely loving it. And I love
he's about to go meet the girl who we now learn her name is Winnie and keep her Sutherland
like, Hey, man, can I come with you? So an eight year old doesn't kick my ass. And he's
like, yeah, you can come with me. So an eight year old doesn't kick your ass. Then we have a quick scene where Julia Roberts is doing a autopsy and the body turns into
her dad.
Unlike the class is still going, the class that they're going to be graded weirdly on,
they haven't gone to it.
How much time has passed?
They are all getting Fs from this class.
And again, we all have this in our notes.
Why would her dad be mad at her for killing himself?
Yeah.
This is a big effort to like embody a corpse during a med school class
just to be like, I was shitting in there.
You're an asshole, not.
You should have knocked.
So they drive up to Winnie's house.
She lives in a gardening mansion.
Kevin Bacon's like, I'm the only one in this next scene with Winnie.
But if an eight year old ghost shows up to kick your ass, honk the horn, okay?
And keep your sezans like, okay, cool.
And the things, they drive like Kevin Bacon's Vietnam wardrobe.
And they drive it through all this kind of wooded foresty kind
of area. And it looks like they're driving through, you know, Vietnam's circle, Robin
William.
Yeah.
And it keeps cutting between Kevin Bacon going to see Winnie and then keep the Southern
freaking out as we sort of get his vehicle circle by the camera. And it looks like any
second now, he's about to be killed by the Viet Cong. That's exactly what's happening
to keep us late.
Weird moment. Insanely oversized Jeep for no reason. I didn't get that. But that's
what they got. And also he's about to go inside Kevin Bacon's like, you're not in the
scene. I'm going in. And he for some of them is like, what are you going to say? You're
going to knock on the door and be like, hello, ma'am, are you haunting me as a child form?
But that's what he does. Yeah, he knocks on the door.
He comes out and he's like, hi, hi, that's my truck, my oversized truck.
You see the bloody up Nazi guy smoking cigarettes side?
Okay, this bad start.
Are you haunting me?
Can I come inside?
And she's like, yeah, come inside.
We'll talk about whether I'm haunting you.
I really want the first thing that she was going to say to me just to call him a tie
merchant.
Oh, I thought you'd forgotten that one.
But yeah, she invites him into her house, which again, is the plant section of Home Depot.
It's giant.
It's a giant greenhouse house.
And he says to her, it looks like you've done wealth yourself
Which didn't say anything to say to a stranger. It's an insane thing to say to a stranger who shows you their
Plan section of home depot house. I've never been inside someone's
Greenhouse and been like so you got greenhouse money
And he tries to segue from that. He's like, greenhouse money, you're crushing it,
magnet of flowers.
They're really nice.
Sorry, I bullied you.
Can you forgive me out loud for that?
I think it has to be out loud.
Can you touch a brooch at the same time as forgiving me?
I'm not sure.
It's the best because she's like, no, that's like a long time ago.
I kind of do remember what you're talking about.
But let's just forget about it. And he's like, no, no, no, no, ago. I kind of do remember what you're talking about. But let's just forget about it.
And he's like, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm pretty sure the rule is you have to say this out loud.
I forgive you.
It's a ghosty thing, just say it out loud.
This scene is the ultimate anti-climax
and I literally physically experienced it.
The only thing that is weirder than this scene and its anticlimax is that I went through
this exact same moment, beat for beat in my hometown, like three years into college.
I ran into one of the kids I was mean to in high school and I was like, you know what?
Did he kick you in the deck?
I went.
So what happened to me was this scene is I was like,
Ila, you've done so much work. You've grown.
And so I walked up to him and I was like, Hey, Kyle, what's up?
And he was like, Oh, hey, Eli, how you doing?
And I was like, I'm so sorry for how I treated you.
And he was like, I was high school. Don't worry about it.
And I was like, no, I know what I did was wrong.
And he was like, you seem to have created his exact words.
You seem to have created his exact words.
You seem to have made this a whole thing in your mouth.
And that's what she says to him in the movie.
There could not be lower set.
She was like, Hey, it seems like you're trying to create stakes for the movie.
I don't fucking care.
People call each other names all the time.
By Kevin Bacon.
Yeah.
And he basically like passive aggressively bullies
her into accepting his apology out loud. This is him. So she's not once no part of it.
And eventually she relents because she knows if she just says, okay, the crazy person will
leave. Yeah. Yeah. Finally, she's like, Hey, Kevin Bacon, as you're leaving, I forgive
you. Thank you for that. He's like, no, he's like, no. Are you sure? Why were you sure? Everybody heard that, right?
She's that count.
He felt it.
She said that.
She does not say, I forgive you.
She says, thank you.
And he says, are you sure?
And she stares at him in misdivocation.
She's like, yeah, I'm sure thank you.
And then he leaves.
And that's the end of their relationship.
Oh, yeah, right.
He's like, okay, thank you,
count out, everybody heard that we're gonna say that counts. We're their relationship. Oh, yeah, right. He's like, I, I, I, thank you, counts out. I've already heard that that we're going to say that counts.
We're going to say that counts.
Meanwhile, okay, I don't know if any of you all have seen the Chuckie movies, but keep
her Sutherland is in a Chuckie movie right now.
We watched the little eight year old ghost scamper around outside the van and then there's
like a knock at the window and who's there and then he looks in the bag and then the
kid pops cares him and, and this is where we realize that he's been fighting himself the
entire time. Which is incredible because it has, you know, the conclusion that he hit himself
in the face with a screwdriver and a hockey stick and kicked himself in the nuts. But it also implies
that William Baldwin sexually harassing himself in that previous scene, which is a way better scene just him walking up the stairs sexually harassing himself out loud.
That would have been the best ghost cut.
Come on guys.
Oh, I wrote in my notes at this point.
It's just you.
It's just you.
You don't know how much sense this is going to make yet.
Keith or Sutherland, but your greatest enemy is yourself, buddy.
I want to spoil that for you right now. So now they
go back to the dorm mural, whatever place and Kevin Bacon explains that he's not being
chased by a ghost. He's fine. And this is where Gifre Sutherland gets mad. He's like,
come on, like, you had a live person. You just have to fucking apologize. This is bullshit.
You're, you know, you guys are seeing things.
You apologize to some lady over there, Kevin Bacon.
I had to stab myself in the face with a pickaxe
just now as part of my thing.
Fuck all of you guys.
And then literally as he says that,
he's like, I stabbed myself with the face.
Oliver Platts, like, well, all my friends are really upset.
So I'm having a bad weekend too.
And everyone's like, shut the fuck up, Oliver Platts blabbered, you didn't even die, you didn't even die!
I mean, William Bolton has a right-goat him and he's absolute right because all of the
plot is just total ballast in this film.
He's zero purpose.
And now, okay, this is so fucking crazy.
In order for Keith to Sutherland to explain,
I killed that kid.
He is driven.
Get your heads wrapped around this.
Billy Baldwin and Oliver Platt
to the cemetery where Billy is buried.
Okay, so the,
Keith or Sutherland at this moment, I thought,
okay, he's gonna apologize to the grave
of the kid that he hunted and apparently killed. He's a warrior. But he gets there, he's gonna apologize to the grave of the kid that he
hunted and apparently killed.
But he gets there and he's just still being mean.
He's like yelling at the kid.
And he's yelling about how his life was bad.
He's like, I had to go to a boarding school after I did that murder.
Like, I thought we were even after that and apparently we're not.
This bullshit.
I mean, fair play for him to make it to med school with such a disruptive childhood.
That shows real dedication or skill.
So he's done well to rebuild his life after what was clearly a tragic beginning.
My mom took away my Game Boy, Billy.
Do you know that mom took away my Game Boy?
But what he realizes in this moment is that if he's going to apologize to Billy, he's got
to die again and say, sorry, in afterlife person in the NDE cornfield. Yeah. Why exactly?
Why that's not the pattern that's been established in the movie. No one understands why it would
be that way, but apparently. And this is where we get my best worst, where we see what
actually happened with him as a
kid throwing rocks at Billy and champ barking.
And I, this is where I wrote as a joke, I really want Billy to fall out of the tree and land
on champ.
And seconds later, that's exactly what happened.
That's how it dog dies.
It's the greatest thing squashed by a falling child, which to be fair, champ should be haunting
Billy.
Not fucking.
I wish Dave, I wish they had shown them putting weird dog pants
on the dog at this moment too. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. So meanwhile, Julia Roberts and Kevin Bacon have had sex. Why their relationship hasn't
grown. We have no reason to believe that they would like each other, but they've had sex.
Maybe they didn't have sex. Maybe they just were in the bed together.
Got naked and gotten the bad guys.
That happens to people.
We'll make it cuddle.
We'll make it cuddle.
QED 2022 everybody.
March itself.
We'll all be vaccinated then.
Yeah, exactly.
That'll be one of the panels.
But now it's time for Julia Roberts to confront her ghost dad.
And every time she sees her ghost dad and all of the flashbacks, all the hallucinations,
he's always in a red room.
And I just want it to be that he was just an amateur photographer and he's just developing.
And like, don't, don't, don't come out and develop and fluids out.
You're going to fall.
You throw in these pictures.
That's her sin.
She ruined his pictures.
There you go.
So much.
I thought maybe she needed to bring toilet paper in this moment because he was at T.P. and he was mad about that. I don't know. But it's, it's even dumber. She looks
over his shoulder and he was doing heroin. He was doing heroin. Yeah. He's doing heroin.
And what I really, really wanted because this film was in the 90s. I really wanted her to have a,
oh, thank fuck. He was a druggy. He deserved to die. This is a 1990. Don't be a drugstitch. Oh, okay.
You're a lot.
Yeah, but this isn't a reveal.
This doesn't matter.
Like when you watch this death scene originally where you were like, my wonder why that guy ran
out into the street.
Oh, she saw him doing heroin.
Like this didn't solve anything for me.
No, she saw heroin that he was doing and then he killed himself and we're supposed
to be like, Oh, yeah, that is her fault. That's what that's on that. That's on her.
You never look at your dad's heroin while he's doing it. It's like wrapping a hose wrong.
Okay. That's, that's a good example. But yeah, so she patches it up with the ghost here by just like sneaking up on the ghost
really slow in her hallucination.
And then the Hulk.
Can we hug?
Can we hug out loud?
Can you say we're good out loud as part of the like, but that solves it here.
Which implies that ghost dad and correct me if I'm wrong here.
Doesn't that imply that ghost dad is haunting her for a hug?
That he was like, I'm gonna end up at this autopsy body.
She's working on hug honey.
Oh, she keeps running away.
Like his journey in the movie has been like,
oh, great, I get to visit my kid.
She had an NDA.
Why does she keep freaking out?
No, it would have made more sense if she was like,
I brought a little bit of heroin for you.
And he was like, oh, okay. Yes, that is why I'm haunting you.
Great. I want to keep a film to try and hug Billy. That's the, that's a next thing.
He's like, I'm just gonna kick in. He's like, I thought at this point, she was gonna
like try to go catch, keep her something and be like, no, no, no, it's good. All you
have to do is just like, you know, treat hockey ghosts like a squirrel. Just really
click and get a hug in there. Yeah.
Let's creep up on him.
Maybe bring him some heroin. I don't know.
I don't know.
It's not clear how this all works.
Just Billy hanging out with the dad.
You know, man, the thing that people don't really get about James Blunt's music
is that he's singing to all of us for all of us.
Okay, Billy.
Okay.
Robert, Robert, Robert, shut up. It's an opportunity to need heroin to enjoy James Blunt. Okay, Billy. Okay. Robert, Robert, bro, shut up.
Jam. Can I pretend you need heroin to enjoy James Blunt?
Okay. But it helps. It helps.
And I will say this. I need heroin to enjoy James Blunt.
So now the cast is all back together. They're all worried because
damn it.
Keith or Sutherland is going to flatline without them.
My friends, the entire conceit of the beginning of this movie was,
I can't do this without you.
Right.
And now he's gonna do it without...
So we're gonna do it by himself.
And this is what I was like, please let him have a giant
Rubbe Goldberg device.
I'm like, sodium pentatol and hot blanket and cold blanket and like, lowering the paddle somehow. It's gotta be because there was the whole ritual of like, sodium bent doll and hot blanket and cold blanket and like lowering the panels.
But it's gotta be because there was the whole ritual of like you need an injection and then
an electric shock and that puts you out. And if he's going to go, if he's going to try and flatline
without them, he doesn't have anyone to bring him back. At which point this is just suicide.
And all of the rest of that is completely superfluous. It's not going to be able to bring himself back.
He's not going to be alive to do it.
But he goes back to the spot.
Okay.
So apparently they just left their NDE almost murder kit laying there in the middle of this
line.
Yeah.
In this museum.
Also, this way he injects himself with what looks like a pint of whatever is in that
syringe.
Oh my God.
It takes him like five minutes to slowly push all the liquid into himself.
He's just like, um, grapey, grapey, grapey.
This is good.
He injects an entire Mike's hard lemonade into his arm.
But yeah, so he goes back to the field with the running children and he's a child again,
but this time he's being chased by Billy, right?
I guess, but he's seeing Billy and he's not even flatlining at this point.
So you don't need to be dead to see Billy.
Again, you've undone the whole point of this.
Yeah.
That's okay.
You know what?
Some of this movie doesn't add up.
I don't think.
Yeah.
Some of this movie adds up scientifically.
And I only have one other thing I want to talk to you about.
So he has this moment.
He's being chased. He's up in the tree. Billy throws the thing. He turns him to his adult self
and then he falls and lands. Well, the kid key for falls for about six to seven minutes.
And then it turns into adult key for who falls for like another 15 or 20 minutes before he finally
is falling forever. And it is the silliest thing. It's a joy to watch adult key for Sutherland
pretending to be falling for a really, really long time. It's a joy to watch adult Keefer Sutherland pretending
to be falling for a really, really long time. It's great to run out of breath and be like,
ah, it's pretty great. Right. So this is when the rest of the crew races in and they realize
that that Keefer basically flatlined himself solo somehow and they have to pull him back
out, right?
Also, when we don't give a fuck about Keefer Sultans character by this point,
because he's been a dick throughout.
So it's like, yeah, if he dies, fine.
You're showing us some of you with no attention
for someone we no longer care about.
It would have been funny if they pulled him out too early
to like apologize in the NDE world.
And he's like, come on, fuck, I almost apologized
to the disabled dog and the other kid that I killed,
I have to go, you have to do it.
Kill me again.
We have to go.
I should have started with a kid.
I went dog first.
That was a mistake.
You've got to set me back.
But he's still under when they run in.
And Julia Roberts runs in.
And she's like, I just talked to him somehow.
Magically, I know it's been like nine minutes since he first did the thing.
And then it gets up to finally like 12 minutes in their trial.
We have been nine minutes. She said it's been nine minutes since he first did the thing. And then it gets up to finally like 12 minutes in their trial of five.
Nine minutes. She said it's been nine minutes since he called me and he called me from
a phone booth outside of the museum. So then he had to like race through all the car
doors and the set all of the equipment up fill that massive syringe and then he's been
out 30 seconds tops by the time they get that. It's a really fast Ruben Goldberg machine
to make that. I just dove right in there. But now they're like, okay, it's been 12 minutes approximately that he's been under.
And they're like, uh, who just give up and leave now?
And literally all of our plants like, I'll call the cops.
Now we all have to flat line and apologize to keep for suffering.
And this is the worst.
He's gonna haunt us.
No more flat lining because he can't get to us
unless we flatline.
All right.
Everyone worked out with their ghosts so far, right?
But yeah, they bring him back.
They inject the right things.
They paddle him and this is how stupidly written this movie
is they lean down to him, right?
They're like, oh, what is it, Keith?
And he's and he's like,
and Billy Baldwin says he said
it's not a good day to die.
That is a rough line. That is for that to be the last fucking line as well. That's the payoff of this entire two-hour thing.
I was I was livid that that was the last one. Okay, well, the last line is really a 15-minute
pan shot of God paintings. And yeah, the end. Yeah, the random Michelangelo's that they've got
around. The one from the Sistine Chapel is what they've got at the Med School. Yeah. And all
of a flat saying, thank you, Jesus. I'm no longer an atheist doctor. I'm a Jesus doctor.
I'm no longer an atheist doctor. I'm a Jesus doctor at the end.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, almost exact quote.
Okay, so final question before we wrap it up.
If you were in the universe of the movie
who would haunt you if you flatline,
now we already learned that Eli's answer is,
well, almost everyone he ever met
during his entire childhood.
But here's a for that guy, I saw him Barnes and Noble.
Yeah.
Including that time, you're like I kicked in the dick and Barnes and Noble.
Marsh, what about you? Who's haunting you?
I think pretty much everyone who witnessed me drunk on the Sunday night after QED.
Those are the people that are holding me.
Well, I'm not only watching me now, I'm watching you now.
We make you watch these movies.
Now everyone knows my Martians on this show.
They're all coming together.
I should never have flatlined before you guys even.
That was the problem.
If you pledge enough, we will wake Martia up
from his death coma.
And he can go back to skeptics with a K.
All right, well, that's going to do it
for our review of flatliners, but that's not going to do it
for the episode just yet,
because we managed to find another bad movie out there somehow.
So Eli, what's on deck?
Next week, we've got a controversial pick,
because a lot of people really like this movie,
and they're like, oh, I don't know if you guys could do this one.
So we'll be doing the Christian high school musical
that is a week away.
Really? This is controversial. Yeah, a bunch of people emailed us this movie and they're
we're like, I don't know. It's a pretty good musical. Can you do this one?
Okay. I was like, challenge accepted done.
All right. Well, with that to look forward to, we're going to bring episode 298 to a
merciful close. Huge thanks to Marsh for joining us
and being haunted by us, whatever you wanna call it.
Marsh, anything big, you know, anything big coming up,
you might wanna announce, anything like that?
Yeah, I've just been named the 1996 Humus to the ear.
I'm just kidding.
A slug just opened up, so that's a win.
Okay, anything about QED maybe?
February, the fourth to six of February
2022, we're going to be doing the next QD was going to be not called but we're not sure we can
definitely do it in October. So we're going ahead. The February, the fourth, the fourth, the six of
2022. Same place, McEw, Piccadilly Hotel, Manchester will let you know when tickets are available
and stuff, but get that in your diary. It is happening. Fantastic. And everybody who doesn't already know this is the best conference there is. I'm not just
you know blowing smoke here. This is genuinely the best. If you can go to one conference,
go to go to QED. It's go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go for drunk
marsh on a Sunday night. Because now it's been built up. So marsh has to be drunk on a Sunday
night, which makes it better. So if you are in my marriage, you will realize that it's been built up. So March has to be drunk on a Sunday night, which makes it better.
So if you are in my marriage, you will realize that it's been built up, which means I cannot
get that to be very well established over a period of years now.
That's been made very clear.
All right.
We're going to double hunt you or something.
We'll figure it out.
We'll figure it out.
Can we get, can we get Nicola drunk enough that you're allowed to be?
That may be the only solution.
That might be the only way.
All right.
Also, of course, a big thanks to our Patreon donors for all the generosity.
If you'd like to help support the show, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com
slash Godawthul.
And that'll get you early access to an ad free version of every episode.
You can also help us out by leaving us good reviews and by sharing the show on all your
various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, you should check out our sibling shows,
the Skating Atheist, Citation Needed, Skeptocrat, and D&D Monis, available in all the podcast places.
If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email God off from movies at
gmail.com, legal services for this podcast are provided by the law offices of Piano Gertorres,
our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slotnik, a people drafts on Mars,
all other music was written and performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clark,
and was used with permission.
Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week.
From Michael Marshall and Eli Bosnick,
I'm Heath N. Wright,
promising to work hard to earn another truck next week.
Until then, we'll leave you with the animal house close.
Flatline would coincidentally go on
to accurately describe Kevin Bacon's bank balance
after he met Bernie Mado.
Ha ha ha ha ha. The black market medical school inside the Vatican art collection was eventually discovered
and disbanded.
Kevin Bacon was in flatliners with William Baldwin, who was in backtracks with Rebecca
de Mourne, who was in the three musketeers with Kiefer Sutherland and Oliver Platt, who were
also both in a time to kill with Samuel Jackson, who was in politics with Bruce Willis, who was
in oceans 12 with Julia Roberts, who was in flatliners with Kevin Bacon.
Oh, well done. Well done. Well done.
That's how the game's played. It's supposed to be seven. It's not just find your way back.
Well, most people would say it's supposed to be six and I did it in less and I got all
the games.
There was, you're all very impressed.
No, you did it in seven or seven.
No, that's not how that works.
Seven.
I was literally holding up my fingers.
No, we don't count in flatline as twice.
Yeah, you don't count in flatline as twice.
Obviously, thank you.
Of course you count flatline as twice.
Because it's the degrees.
Look, one, two, we'll do that.
Keep this. Keep this. Morgan, I want you to keep this in the degrees. Look, one, two, we'll do that. Keep this.
Keep this.
Morgan, I want you to keep this in the podcast.
Five and six.
No, one, I mean, you two, you're back to the seventh one.
I think you don't, you don't count the starting one.
No, you don't.
You do.
No, you count, you count, step from one to two as one.
Can we get them?
Jesus.
You know how a marathon's like 26 miles or something?
You don't start at mile one.
Yeah, thank you.
Okay, is my first line to Eli or to you, he's,
is it Eli shouldn't have put the IV in my hand?
You're talking to me, I think.
Oh, it was me.
Okay.
Wait, no, I'm doing the, I'm the doctor who's zapping Eli.
That's right.
And then Eli comes back to life.
Because of the IV of mango nectar?
Yeah, I thought I was dead because I put an IV of mango nectar in.
Oh, I thought you came back to life because we put an IV of mango nectar.
No, because then it wouldn't have worked.
But you do come back to life.
You say gas back to life. Why would Marsh tell you not to do. But you do come back to life. You say gas back to life.
Why would Marsh tell you not to do the thing that brought you back to life?
Because he doesn't want you to live.
That's not the subject I was going for.
I read this.
Great difference.
Yeah.
We just we're just very much in opposing goals here.
Okay.
So Eli officially Marsh is talking to you after you gasp back to life there.
Correct.
And it's because you put an IV of mango nectar for yourself to get flatlined.
Yes.
And it brought you back to life and he's happy because of that.
No, you you zapped him.
You're saying clear.
He gets zapped.
The zapped brings it back to life.
It was the IV of mango nectar that put him out.
That killed me.
Yes.
Thank you.
Got it.
Oh, you died of mango. Okay. Right. But I get
clear. Marsh is happy that you're alive. I don't like how hard you're having a time with
this. I don't understand the characters. It just makes sense. I mean, I can be left ambiguous.
I think I can be left in. I don't I can be unmoved by his play. Unmoved. That's perfect.
Yeah. Yeah. If you do like an Anthony Hopkins remains of the day before that would be great.
That's what exactly what I was thinking.
See, not care.
Uh, because then we can bring two QED.
Hmm.
Um, and then when a base, no, no, I was, I was listing out the rest of the sentence.
I totally September February, whatever.
Yeah.
I was.
I was. Bring a baby to my., definitely bring a baby to the skeptical convention.
That's a perfect idea.
Well, I was letting you finish the sentence.
I'm polite.
I want to meet your baby.
Your baby can definitely be.
I've heard you let people finish sentence on the reasonable.
No, that's interesting.
No, tell me more about that.
How would you mean the way you believe it?
How would you respond to people who think it's unreasonable to bring a baby to a large skill event?
Joking. Definitely do that. It will be amazing. See.
Oh, yeah.
That's all.
And everything.
Totally. Let me get your my space.
We'll get back to you on that.
I sincerely want to see you guys. I really want to see your baby. You are, you are killing
me here.
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