God Awful Movies - 322: The Eyes of Tammy Faye
Episode Date: October 19, 2021This week, the gang goes on a field trip to check out The Eyes of Tammy Faye. And, more importantly, they watch Christian audiences slowly realize that this isn't a Pureflix movie. --- If you’d lik...e to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/
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She walks them through her house and mom very reasonably is like, hmm, you know what?
I was raised in like whatever shit show Tennessee thing you were supposed to be raised in.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to have a mega mansion and she's like, you're
ruining the bit, mom, you're ruining the bit.
Debbie actually takes out a Bible at one point and mom's like stop stop put the Bible down you sell dick pumps
I saw it
Yesterday, unless you're about to show me the section on dick pumps in there. I'm gonna need to Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be right. He's welcome back. I'm so happy. This movie backfired.
For Christian people. It will end well and for the actors involved. Okay. And sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnick. Eli, how are you this fine afternoon, sir?
Better than Jim Baker. No, okay. Better than Jim Baker. You almost have to be a little
bar to clear. But yeah. Okay. So tell tell us he's what will we be breaking down today?
We watched the eyes of Tammy Faye. It's the story of the saddest movie theater ever plus me just
Weeping with laughter
They got so mad
So Eli how bad was this movie?
Well, if you're a Christian movie critic and you've sat through literal years of open
mouth church audiences applauding for all the wrong things and you wanted to see them
ruin their brunch by misreading a title.
You ruined this movie, we're gonna get to our theater experiences
of this movie, but for my best worst,
I almost went with best, best theater experience.
All right, so here's the fucked up admission
that I have to make up front.
I didn't get the theater experience.
I didn't do the homework for this one.
I missed the 17 minute window where
it was in theaters last month because there's a documentary of the same name that this
is based on and I saw that I could get that. I thought that that was this. And then there
was a ticket to this in theaters with a PlayStation five. That's that exactly. So I did, however,
watch the documentary that it's based on. I lived through the 80s, which is helpful.
And I thoroughly perused a few online synopsies.
So I feel like I could bake my way through this one.
Yeah.
And don't worry about it.
I mean, he never watches the movie.
So you're still on the way.
I watch the movies so many times.
I watch the movies so many times.
I watch the movies so many questions when we review them.
I'm a curious person.
Also, it's called a set up book.
Have you learned to improvise, coward? All right, so is there anything you guys want to
nominate? This one for being the best of being the worst at?
I would. Noah, I would. Best worst hand jobs.
Yeah. Really? Wasn't expecting that.
Yeah, neither was I. Neither was my.
Oh, you beat me to it. Everybody was terrified. That's a theme of this movie the theme of the movie i think
is
Tammy Faye Baker giving hand jobs but nobody knew that going in so i was just
delight
yeah in glee yeah and everybody else is just like what's happening why is that
guy so happy
no quick question about the documentary.
Does it mention how much she liked to drive the stick shift?
No, it didn't.
Okay.
I was really cheated in the documentary.
I apparently, sure were.
Oh, and of course not having seen it.
I just went with best worse reason for permanent skin damage.
Now, this is apparently a self-diagnosis
from a person who eats organic.
So who knows?
But Jessica Chastain said in interviews that the very weight of the makeup she had to wear for this part
did permanent damage to her skin.
Look, anyone who steps inside the mind of Tammy Fae for long enough is coming out damaged.
Yeah, well that's true.
That's true.
I'm going to go with best worst tribute to a dead guy's wife.
What?
Look, we say some mean shit about deserving people on this show.
One might argue our job is saying mean shit about deserving people on this show.
But I will never say anything a quarter is mean about anyone we ever talked about as this movie.
It is mean to Jim Baker.
Look, Jim Baker's a piece of shit.
He sucks, but there was a part of him that loved Tammy Faye.
And now the most Googleable thing about his late wife is that he was a fraud cheater
gay and she hated him and died sad and hating him.
Yep.
There are very few people who deserve this movie about their dead wife.
Jim Baker just happens to be one of them.
Alright, well, I got a lot of notes to scribble on my arm for this test, so I'm going to need
a quick break, but we're back in a flash with all the inexplicably ordained oddities that
are the eyes of Tammy Faye.
Okay, what about junk trunk?
Damn, I'm still subscribed to junk trunk.
How much is that?
That is $20 a month.
Yeah, for sure.
Get rid of that one.
Hey, guys, what you're doing?
Oh, hey Noah.
Eli ran out of money again, so I'm helping him with his subscriptions.
He's got a lot.
Okay, Eli, so how about baby snack box?
Oh, definitely canceled that one.
They were very deceptive in their advertising.
I'm not sure they were.
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Feel like we know, for sure.
Besides, canceling this stuff is so difficult.
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Wait, Keith, if you already knew about TruBill, why are we doing this?
So that I can see how many vegans snack box subscriptions you have.
I like snacks, okay?
I am a fan of snacks.
Would we say snacks?
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Okay, what about hugs in lounge wear monthly?
Oh, keep that one.
Yeah, yeah, I figured. Can you give? Oh, keep that one. Yeah, I figured
Can you give a buddy subscription to that?
Hello, oh
Hi, um, can we help you yell the writers?
I mean, yeah, we are writers. Did you need something? Yeah, I'm Jim Baker. Oh
Wow, yeah, oh
Me too, so I read the script y'all sent over for the movie
And yeah, what you think is it is all the nice that mr. Garfield and them other actors is gonna be in it
Yeah, really cool. Yeah, of course
Maybe I'm a little bit sensitive, but it kind of seems like well
Is that maybe the movies about what a loser I am as a theme. Like, like, Tammy was a relatively innocent person whose husband was a secretly gay fraud rapist con man rapist con man. Yeah, that's what the Mood. Yeah, you nailed it. You actually I'm glad you got that from what we wrote. Oh, okay, then, uh,
wait, please don't make this movie.
Still gonna make a movie. I'm still gonna make a movie. I need a magic blanket. No, no, I'm gonna
make it twice now. I'm gonna make two. Three now. And we're back for the break down.
And once again, of course, this was a field trip. So gentlemen, we've already talked about
it quite a bit. Tell me how the theaters were for this one going in.
Okay. I'll start with the ticket guy at my theater who is quite certain the vaccine is conspiracy, so that was fun. And then I got into the theater and there's a couple there that
thought the vaccine is a conspiracy. So that was how it started for me.
the vaccine is a conspiracy. So that was how it started for me.
So I feel like I'm gonna reveal this
at the end of the review.
So let me, I'm just gonna set the stage,
not gonna reveal it.
My theater was absolutely 100% except for me full
of a church group.
Oh really?
Now, I will also say this, I had seen Heath's notes because Heath
saw this movie before me. So I knew how many hand jobs were a common at this church
group. Was your seat turned backwards the whole time? I literally almost ran outside
and I was like, Hey man, I got a rear request. I'm going to bring in a folding chair and I'm going to watch these people
watch this movie. Do you have a reverse rivet gun? Is that what it would be? I don't know.
Also, one other thing about my theater, I got to listen to that same couple. They got mad about
the Spanish language movie in the preview. I bothered them.
And then the guy was like, I'm gonna get more butter.
I'm a popcorn.
So he's on the way and the wife is like,
do you know how many calories are in that butter?
And he goes, do you know?
And then he went and got more butter.
Well, there you go.
Yeah.
Can I get more butter with this popcorn?
Pretty much encapsulates all of my cinematic experiences
since we started God off on movies.
Yeah.
On the top.
Exactly.
Okay.
So it seems to me from the notes that the first in the movie
does is, it's, give you a second to come to grips
with the fact that she really does look like that.
It's so dark.
There's this fucking, we see her getting made up
like when she's older, right?
I think this is supposed to be like right
before the last performance of the movie.
I thought this was Gene Simmons at this moment.
I was like, oh, cool.
Kisses in this, interesting.
And the makeup person is like,
oh, can I get some of that makeup off for you?
And she's like, no, it's tattooed on my face.
And then the person's like, oh,
so it's physically impossible to not make you look like a clown then the person's like, oh, so it's physically impossible to not
make you look like a clown. And she's like, yes, that's where the movie starts, my friends.
Now, I should say, this is a recreation of a scene from the documentary. So there was
a documentary made in the year, released a new year 2000. I think that this is all based
on. And this is an actual scene from that where where she goes to be on the Rose and bar show
And they're like my gosh. She showed up all made up and she's like no, this is just this is what I actually look like in reality
This is what I did to my face
You're shooting hoses at her. It's
No, it doesn't make sense
Sander bring a sander from the tech
All right, so then now we're gonna flash all the way
knowing what we have to look forward to.
We're gonna flash all the way back to 1952
when little Tammy was just 10 years old.
Yeah, dreaming of looking like a dead body
on a corp-spride bad day.
I did enjoy that.
She seemed to know just how stupid religion is
as a young child here.
Yeah, I wrote in my notes.
She's looking into church and thinking,
man, that seems like a good con. I wanted to know that.
Wait a minute.
Yeah, so we see a little of her awesome Christian upbringing.
Yeah, so this is a big thing and I think it's big in the documentary too.
You'll have to tell me, you know, because I haven't actually seen it,
but like she wasn't allowed to go to church.
It's a child for a really long time because her mom was divorced and she was the child of the first marriage
So by the time she actually got to go to church. It was so amazing for her. No, no, that was in the documentary
Okay, excellent. God, I'm glad to hear it
Because the movie's gonna try and humanizer with it for the first like hour and a half. Oh, that's fun
Yeah, this is where she starts playing with hand puppets and talking to herself.
And I was like, wow, this is not looking good for Christianity.
It leads directly to arguing with yourself using hand puppets
and hearing to Christianity, which I mean, really, that's a great summation of what it's like to be a Christian.
Yeah, she has a dinner with her family where she's like, I want to go to church and her mom is like,
they'll know about my sins. And then afterwards the puppet gives her the ray comfort treatment.
The puppet's like, you're going to burn in hand forever, Tammy Vane.
And she's like, no, Mr. Big Machan, don't you say that to me?
Well, okay, but yeah, we have to establish her two personality traits,
religiosity and puppets. Hand jobs make up. Yeah. So yeah, the puppets will become
a hand job so she gets older, but yeah, oh, there a hand job. That's, that's the, yeah,
okay. Right. Yeah. No, that's, it's all, it's all connected together. It's actually very
well written. It actually kind of is like it's a pretty good movie. At times I was like,
is this good? I think it's, I think it's a pretty good movie. At times I was like, is this good?
I think it's okay. I mean, it was certainly Jessica Chastain certainly thought it was Oscar bait.
She put together an amazing performance though. She was the highlight for me, Jessica Chastain.
Right, I've seen some clips where she's pretty amazing. She really embodied the role. Yeah.
Okay, so then we cut to her at church, just going all in. Okay, so
Noah, this is a slight adjustment from the documentary. What is the story according to
the documentary? Great question. I am so disappointed that this didn't make it in. So at the
beginning of the documentary, her brother tells the story of her praying away a word on her finger
and that being the way. So she prayed to God that he would
get the the ward off and it was and God told her stick the ward in the cup during communion.
And it'll melt away and it did according to the brother. And that's what brought her
to Jesus. I just love the idea of some her sticker her hair. Yes. Wart into the cup
that everybody has to drink out of them going, Oh, no.
Oh, she's first in line.
Why are you first?
The word died of the feces that was doing it water that we know statistically is like
really at a high level in the holy water.
No, they go for a more dramatic approach to the movie.
She goes up to the front.
She started speaking in tongues.
And then she peas herself and I wrote in my notes,
okay, but when I do it, it's a failure.
Hahaha.
Do you think she just like leaned into it too hard
and was like, I'm gonna piss myself too
to make this really look good?
Or was that like an accident?
What happened?
Carried away in the moment.
It commits to the bit.
She was probably gonna piss herself around then anyway.
Yeah. Just so happened. Look, she'd go on to Mary and stay married to Jim
Baker. So this is a person who commits. That's what we're learning about the scary. Staying
married to Jim Baker is the pissing yourself of marriage. Yeah. Okay. Fair. Speaking of
which, it's now time for us to flash into the future to meet her hubby gym. Oh, and this is, I don't know who at this Bible university, like, slipped a hundred
dollar bill under the writer's room door every morning before they got to work, but like,
this whole scene is to establish like nobody at this Bible school, like Jim and Tammy
Febaker. So stop saying they went here.
He goes up and he gives basically a prosperity gospel pitch.
And the teacher's like, hey, man, that kind of con man isn't going to be mainstream Christianity
for 16 minutes.
You're weird.
And so him and Tammy do like a fucking hype man back and forth coming up with Facebook
scene, except it's robbing your grandma for 40% of her retirement. Yeah, he's given a little speech here, like a sermon.
And he says, God wants us to be rich.
And one guy in the audience raises in.
He's like, but it says blessed be the poor.
And he's like, don't fuck yourself.
Cut them to whatever I want to be rich.
Yeah.
He also says, we Christians are taught to accept failure.
And I was like, amen, did you hear it?
Did you hear the hand puppet thing that you just did?
Did you hear me, you talk?
All right, then of course we have the boy, it sure seems like we're destined for a much
more cinematic life scene.
But this one took a twist in the notes that I was not expecting.
Um, neither was I. I checked up on this. This is apparently true. Jim Baker was, so this
is the like, Tammy, can I tell you a deep and terrible secret? And I was like, oh, you're
a rapist and a closet homosexual who also forced yourself on a bunch of male workers at your company. He's like, no, I ran a kill over with my car.
Yeah.
I mean, think about that.
This was to soften the blow of his actual backstory.
To soften it, he was like, I murdered a child with my car.
Fucking yikes.
That makes the curse make way more sense though now, you know?
Yeah.
I also want to point out and look, like this movie does a pretty good job of showing what
bags of shit they are, but it also pretty completely lays all the blame on Jim Baker.
And we can't forget that like Tammy Faye Baker was not a good person, right?
She was perfectly happy to rob the elderly of their money while
she sang Christmas songs dressed like a disco ball. Like she was aware who they were getting
their money from. Yes. And that made this sort of like, meet cute scene, a little yucky
for me. My entire notes are just like, would we make a meet cute about Brock Turner or
Harvey Weinstein? I feel like we can get to the conning people, Bart.
Well, so, and we should be super clear on that.
The whole point of the documentary that this is based on
was to rehabilitate the image of Tammy Feita,
some degree, and it has a very woeous me.
I have to clean up my own kitchen after I cook
kind of a feel to it.
Like, oh, I just, I'm just all alone in this gated community
with nobody to keep me company, you know, right.
And of course the movie leans into that as well.
But the movie is also, the movie is not being nice to her as much.
I felt like I didn't see the documentary, but I get the impression that the movie
at least a little bit is directed by Michael show Walter.
It wasn't supposed to be like all positive.
And this moment in particular, the audience that I was with started to maybe sense that a little bit
because
He's telling this story. He's like a killed child with my car
I did like they did the grill. I was picking little pieces of
Out of the primary girl and everybody's like what's
Leading something good about God see my church was still not ready.
They were still like, okay, yeah,
we all hit a kid now and then I hit it.
Pick up line in school as long and boring.
You try and cut around to catch a kid up in there.
Speaking my language.
Those Cadillac grills, it's actually,
yeah, I have one of those too.
Yep. But speaking of our churches being unsettled by the movie.
Yeah, I guess the director decided we needed to see a bit of heavy petting.
Okay, perhaps.
Just to be clear, Noah, before I go into the scene, there's nothing in the documentary
about how hard these two dry humped.
Is there?
There's no mention whatsoever
of over the pants work or anything like that now.
How many hand jobs in the original like two dozen?
Like, there's so much fucked up sex stuff
in this movie like the addition that this movie made
based on Noah's notes and our notes
is that Michael show art or walked
in the room through a copy of this documentary on the table and was like, I want to see every
time they dry humped from 18 to 81. You hear me? I'll see you in a month.
Yeah, I mean, the documentary was only about an hour and 20 minutes long. This was 220 or so.
They added an hour of dry humping to the documentary was only about an hour and 20 minutes long. This was 220 or so. They added an hour of dry hunting to the documentary essentially.
That's how you fill out a movie.
That's how you do it.
That's how it's done.
Okay, so this scene is when my theater fully sensed the problem
because she actually gives them an over-the-pants-and-job.
And my theater lost its goddamn mind.
Yep.
They had no idea what to do.
Amazing. Yeah. There were a idea what to do. Amazing.
Yeah.
There were a lot of kids in my audience.
A lot of moms throwing bodies in front of a lot of Sunday afternoon movie watchers.
All right, but apparently the over the pants handy wasn't enough.
So now it's bath time.
Yeah.
God, I've never felt better about being underprepared for an episode.
Before bath time, we have to clarify.
So what happened is, and I was like, I put this together post watching the movie, this
dry hump scene is to justify the fact that the actually the makers dropped out of Bible
College, which is saying a lot, right?
If you didn't make it in pretend school, you can't make it anywhere, but they dropped
out of Bible College because they just had to get married
And they just had to get married because why over the pants when you can go under the pants
So she shows up at mom's house the hero of the movie and she's like, this is Jim Biker
I love him and mom's like fuck you, which is by the way what mom will say to everything she says and does
She's the greatest thing in this movie
Every single thing that happened. She's the greatest thing in this movie. Every single thing that happened,
she says, fuck your face, this is so fucking dumb. I can't believe they made a movie. I hope
Chris should be blare watching this in the theater. This is like maximum smoking a day,
no illusions, put him in a wig, put him on the center of this movie and be like, what do you really
want to say to Jim Baker? No, that is the mom character in this fucking film.
So at the end of the last scene, mom's like,
fuck him, fuck you.
And so bath time, which is what we're getting to now,
is her comforting him because her mom was like,
this guy looks like a total loser.
Oh, nice, nice.
So him sulking in a bathtub.
Yeah, I really said I missed that.
Yeah, she gives them a hege to cheer him up.
And when I say a bunch of people exited my theater
at this point, it was as though there were a fire, right?
Like, you know that scene and that Titanic
where they're like stomping over the shield.
And I'm just, I'm just, I'm loving it.
I am just, oh, I'm tweaking my nips
I if I could like pull the lever and the door shuts and I put on the saw mask
You're all watching this he's
All right, so with hand job number two out of the way
I guess we're I'm gonna keep track. I'm gonna hold on. Let me have a chalkboard here
So with hand job number two out of the way we really dig into the
puppet aspect of their origin story
Okay, this is so sad because the truth of the matter is like Jim and Tammy
could not make it in the fucking
Jim and Tammy could not make it in the fucking tent revival circuit. Right. Right. There is no more gullible audience, sort of like a chiropractor's waiting room
where you're selling healing crystals where these guys blew up. But they did. So what they
settled on and how they built their brand was she would do children's entertainment. And
then he would be like, Jesus, and she'd be like, great, do children's entertainment. And then he would be like, Jesus,
and she'd be like, great,
more children's entertainment, Jesus.
And then she'd sing a song.
And this is the beginning of that.
Okay, and I want to point this out
because this was in the documentary,
and this is just amazing.
So the main puppet that they used is just,
it was a porcupine-pig puppet that they put a wig on
and said, no, see, it's a totally different character.
It's a lady now.
And apparently all of the puppet stuff they did was unscripted and very often it would
be Tammy Faye like bitching at Jim about something she was pissed off about through the puppet
they would have like on air couple fights with the puppets.
Anyway, I just I love that little detail.
But yeah, oh, I'm wide at the movie.
Deny us that just right.
Hey, hey kids, today we're going gonna be talking about emptying the fucking dishwasher.
Exactly.
And about how hand jobs actually are awesome and I'm better than you add it.
Fuck you.
So then we get a quick, puppeting montage, right?
We see them like, puppeting across the nation to build their name.
Yeah.
Well, and then so then we get him sitting around dreaming of something bigger than
than puppet church when who should show up on TV, but Pat don't call me Mary.
And even though that's my name, Robertson.
He ends up being kind of one of the good guys in this movie because the bakers are so
shitty that Pat Robertson
is like the foil to their shitty.
It's fantastic to watch this movie try to decide who the good and bad guys are, right?
Because everyone in this movie is a like fire and brimstone worthy villain.
So when the movie is like, I don't know, maybe the leg press guy isn't that bad.
Stop googling these people, man.
He went to jail too.
Fuck.
They're watching him on TV and he thimbs so glad you have similar things in your notes.
It very much seems like she's going to jerk him off to Pat Roberts in for a second, right?
Oh, absolutely.
Wait, did that not actually, did I just imagine that moment?
You just imagined it. She does not actually, did I just imagine that moment? You just imagined it.
She does not actually jerk him off to Pat Roberts.
Oh, I remember a lot of come in this very moment.
I think that was you.
Oh, that tracks, that tracks.
Okay.
I think I know why your theater was upset.
It wasn't this.
There were more ups and downs to moving.
Yeah.
So he's watching Pat Robertson.
He's like, Oh, team if they imagine him, and he paid for we could be in front of and
she's like doing the slow circle around his nips, but their eyes are to be clear, both
glued to a 1960s Pat Robertson. So yeah, it's a deeply sensual scene.
My theater was in denial at this point. They were just like, she's probably turning butter just out of the frame.
That's the normal thing.
It probably had butter turned there.
It's not as bad as we thought.
I think they're settling into the movie now.
They got a little smaller one.
One of those hand ones.
You can get them on the made for TV.
Shut up.
Shut up.
But then, and again, this is just such a weird thing.
So do you know the real story of how they ended up on Pat Robertson's show?
No.
So I tried to find this.
I could not find it anywhere.
I was hoping it's in the documentary, but what it is in the movie is their
car gets towed because Jim didn't make the payments.
Fuck you, Jim Baker.
And then a man literally walks up to them where they're standing there trying to
figure out what to do.
And he's like, hello, I'm a Christian. I saw you last night. Would you like to be on Pat Roberts
in network? I have the paperwork right here. And they're like, Oh, gee, that does move us to the next part
of the movie. This red and stranger has the plot. That's great. Yeah, I don't know the actual story,
but I'm pretty sure it's not that. It's, um, yeah. So now it's time for him to meet one of the
movies and realities
main villains or I guess you're saying he's not necessarily a villain. I can't make up
its mind, but he robs himself. Yeah. I think the whole it's so sad. The whole movie is just like
parsing out levels of evil, but technically in a relative sense that makes Pat Robertson
a good guy. I don't know. It's insane. The movie doesn't make sense. Yeah.
And this, so this is apparently real that they just walked onto their puppet hour and we're
like, hey, everyone, we're starting a new show.
It's called the 700 Club and it stars us.
And Pat Robertson didn't, it wasn't going to walk out there and be like, they just made
that fucking shit up.
I'm sorry.
But like, apparently the origins of the 700 Club are them just being like, we're on a show. It would be like if I was like, Heath insults the book is our new podcast. Check
it out every Tuesday at 3 p.m. Well, so, okay, that actually is a pretty good idea. I just
don't think we should put it out at 3 p.m. That doesn't make much sense at all. So we'll
look at the Australian community. We'll workshop that. So, but as they presented the documentary, the origin
is that they said, yeah, we'll do a kid show, but we also want a talk show in the evenings
or something along those lines, but, you know, who the hell actually knows, it's everyone's
a liar that's in mom's and any of the stories. Right, yes, it's the Creighton's riddle, but
with a biopic. Okay. I can the one who only
tells lies, just tell me what one of you would fucking say. This is hard. Why are there
so many? And then, because again, this movie is not constructed super well. Look, I like
that it's mean to Jim Baker. And I like that it's mean posthumously to Tammy Faye, but
it's constructed so badly that they're like, we're gonna do the 700 club and then via the puppet, she announces that they're going to have a baby.
I was just like, damn, this is a gym pack scene.
Well, I like the idea that the puppet got pregnant because all the hand jumps.
Nice. That would make sense.
That makes a lot of sense. Where's that montage?
So, okay, so we cut to six months later where I guess Jim is just killing it on the 700 club.
Yes.
And to know his credit, you mentioned that a lot of this is going to be, I'm stuck in
the kitchen after all this cooking.
This will be the first of, I cannot describe to you how many scenes of Tammy is stuck at
home in her mansion when she would really like to be on TV
right now. Oh wow. So she's home and she's pregnant and she calls her mom and she's like,
oh Jim won't fuck me anymore. And her mom's like, why did you call me? I hate you. And
she's like, oh, okay, I love you to which her mother responds by.
My grandma's actually done that to me a lot. That's her standard thing.
Okay.
She doesn't say nobody wants hand jobs at the end and then hang up like.
So, yeah.
I'm not this.
Yeah.
It's not true.
Well, sometimes you want to, sometimes you want to hand job.
We will feel the rest of the episode with this fight.
I think they're underrated after watching this movie.
I, I, I think I, I like them a little bit more now.
Well, there you go.
So they couldn't rehabilitate Tammy, but they really rehabilitated the hege.
That's cool.
We put something positive in the back.
We're gonna call you hege and write from now on.
Classic.
Okay.
So then we cut to a pool party at Pat Robertson's place.
Yes.
Okay, but again, this is villains looking at other villains
through their eyes.
So usually, right, this scene in a movie
about good human beings with consciences,
they would see how rich Pat Robertson was
and they'd be like, oh my gosh, like what a waste.
Like he's not really in it for saving souls at all. They look around this mansion and they'd be like, oh my gosh, like what a waste. Like he's not
really in it for saving souls at all. They look around this mansion and they're like,
how do we get in a box? Yeah. Whole scene is like fit as many pigs in a blanket in your
purse. Yeah. They want to be p-rolls. Well, at one point in this in cherry fall, though,
shows up. Now this I think is recreating a real event. I'm thinking to myself, you know, a gas explosion at that moment would
have seemed tragic, but the watcher would have known, right?
He would have.
Oh, sorry.
Really?
For sure.
That timeline solidifies into way better.
Jerry Falwell shows up with entry music.
Like he's a WWE character here.
Dense.
Like enter Sandman starts playing and he's walking in.
It's really weird. Well, honestly, and that is a case of if you want somebody to be the
villain of a movie with Jim Baker in it and not make that character Jim Baker, how the
hell do you manage that? Well, Jerry Follow's going to fit in really nicely.
Yeah, exactly. And this is where this is the famous scene and no, this is apparently based on reality
from your notes where she dared to sit with the men.
Ooh.
Yeah, when they were discussing Jim Baker's future, now it's reality in that she really said
this happened.
So.
This is also where we get the first touch of Tammy Faye being an ally to gay people.
And can I plant a flag early and say that like Tammy Faye did not totally hop on the boat
of like gays or the death of society in the way that like fucking Jerry fall well did.
Congratulations on that Tammy Faye.
Yes.
Wasn't a fucking ally.
There's a scene that's worse than this that we're going to get to later in the movie,
but this movie makes it seem like every time Tammy Feige got the chance, she was like,
Oh, Jesus loves the gay people, loves them just the way they are.
Well, so and I do want to say in, I'll never say these words together again, in Tammy
Feige's defense, she was incredibly progressive for the time on issues of LGBTQ equality and
talking about AIDS.
That is not a compliment to Tammy Faye.
That is a condemnation of the 80s, but she actually was very progressive on that issue
for the time in a way that like really underscores how disturbing a time it was.
Yeah.
Like you ever watch a movie that's set in World War II
and they always feel obligated to make that Nazi character
who's like, I'm not so sure about the Uden.
That's what this movie is trying to do
with Tammy Fein, the case.
She's a centrist Nazi, yes.
Right, yes, exactly.
She's the character Ralph Feins isn't playing.
And well, and she antagonizes Jerry Falwell with her love of the gay.
It's correct.
And your theaters were like, okay, he's the hero.
All right.
So she says, well, Jerry, I think, and he goes, don't call me Jerry.
And my theater went, I was just, I was so, because they were so fucking close to me trying to give me COVID at
this point that I just kept wanting to skerch over to them and being like, what movie are
you watching now?
There were two hand jobs.
What's going on for you?
Yeah, right.
Cause that was butter, butter churning that you don't know what you're talking about.
Bath butter.
Talked about this.
Choose, don't have no bath butter.
Now, of course though, but Jim is super worried about her antagonizing the very powerful
Jerry Falwell with all her progressive attitudes and familiar naming conventions.
Yeah.
And this is where fucking Tammy Faye apparently gave Jim Baker the coffee is for closer
speech.
It's such a weird scene.
You turn to where he says, Jerry Falwell is a powerful man.
And she says, Jim Baker is a powerful man.
And you can like visibly hear him getting erect against the inside of his fucking zipper.
And again, it's just like watching Ava be like, Adolf, you're doing the best job you
can for Germany.
I'm like, what are you from me?
But the point is they're going to start their own Christian network with beer and hookers,
damn it.
Yeah, because P robes is stealing their successful show from them.
Well, I'll tell you what, getting screwed out of Christian media empires is going to happen.
So frequently in their lives that the director and writer of this film decided it would be
too repetitive to show all of them so we're gonna pause
when we come to grips with that but we're begging a flash with even more of the
eyes of Tammy Faye. Not all she comes to grip with. I still feel like we should have
brought something. Yeah but that it would be the only thing in his apartment.
That's true. He has a futon now though. Oh, no, that's true.
He does.
Hey guys, what up?
Heath.
Hey buddy, so this is the new place.
Yup, yup, new place.
So you guys hungry?
I'm actually, yeah.
Yeah, I can always eat.
All right, excellent.
Now, no, I know you like cheese whizz on your crackers.
So I got that for you.
Eli, I wasn't sure, like cheese whizz on your crackers. So I got that for you. Eli, I wasn't sure.
So I got you just the crackers.
Is that, sorry, is this all you have for food?
Yeah, well, you know, I just moved.
Don't really have the lay of the food landscape yet.
I have found a bad Thai place.
Like really, really bad, do you guys want
really bad Thai food?
No.
No, I don't. No, no, thank you. But Keith, if you want want really bad Thai food? Um, no. No, I don't.
No, no, no, thank you.
But Keith, if you want fresh delicious meals,
you can make it home.
Why don't you just try Hello Fresh?
Oh, what's Hello Fresh?
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and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep.
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and count on Hello Fresh to make home cooking
easy, fun fun and affordable.
That's why it's America's number one meal kit.
I don't know guys, I'm trying to cook for both of you.
It's a tall order.
Well, HelloFresh offers 50 menu and market items to choose from every week, including
vegetarian, calorie smart, and gourmet options, providing plenty of variety.
Okay, but is this one of those meal boxes where you got to spend like an hour on one pot of soup? Not at all. With options like quick and easy meals, low prep, one pan,
and 10 to 15 minute meals. That's time cut from cooking and clean up that you can give
back to your family or yourself. Yeah, hello, fresh, then to some box to try. And they had
delicious meals, but also sandwiches and to go food box that made meal prep with a baby of breeze. All right, guys, I'm in.
Where do I sign up?
Just go to hellofresh.com slash awful14
and use code awful14 for up to 14 free meals,
including free shipping.
So I go to hellofresh.com slash awful14.
Use the code awful14 for up to 14 free meals,
including free shipping.
That's right.
All right.
So you guys want a little tour of the place?
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, man.
Okay, so this here is the room that I live in.
Nice.
I'm done.
That's a good tour, man, thanks.
And okay, no, not done yet.
This is my Nintendo 64 right here.
Okay. Can we play it? I my Nintendo 64 right here. Okay.
Can we play it?
I'd rather you didn't.
Okay. Sure. Sure.
Don't touch.
Well, hey, bear, mama.
No, Hogan.
Sure. Sure. Maybe later.
No, no, not later. Fuck you.
Okay. Okay. Isn't it wonderful, mama?
Jim has made a such a lovely haste to worship the Lord in. Isn't it wonderful mama Jim has made a such a lovely haste to worship the Lord in isn't it wonderful?
Yeah, unless I somebody made a museum to suck after suck was finally blasted from the earth
The curtains are nice. I hate the curtains. Oh mama, you're such a grump look what Tammy Fay
I know this movie is doing its absolute best to make me seem like some kind of hard to please over barren meaning
But you suck.
Yeah, the worst. You're a fraud. You look like Mr. Potato Head and Drag
and this every reason to believe that whatever your childhood was like,
that I hated you as an adult because you were so deserving of hate.
What if I bought you a coat?
I mean, yeah, I'll take a coat.
Redemption arc!
No. No.
No. P-P-P- have them getting rich shaman Taj here.
Nice.
I also like that they have a four second clip
where they're like, also we did some minor charity
or something, but we must've just stolen it.
We're gonna reveal that we stole this
and I got out of it.
And we shouldn't really emphasize that.
All right.
This is of course, I believe the first time
in the movie where Jessica Chastain shows off those pipes.
Yeah.
She is way too good at bad singing as an actor.
I was gonna say she sings as well as Tammy Fe Baker saying so hard to say.
Yeah, we don't know if she's singing up to that or down to that really.
Exactly.
Why was this show successful for them?
Why did people watch this?
I don't understand.
I'm like, honestly, it's like,
kind of like the same reason that we're successful
because nobody had really,
or very few people up to that point
had done the whole televangelism thing
where you're just taking the church model
and you're ramping it up by 80 fucking times
and getting this much larger audience or whatever.
Well, why don't we have mansions then?
What are we doing wrong?
Well, because we're not, Chris, Jen.
We need to give more hand jobs.
I don't know.
I'll give a hand to her anywhere close to the amount
of money that Jim Baker stole.
I'll jerk off every single member of our audience.
Simultaneously.
I'll just get, I'll get them all in a bunch like you're making pasta and I'll do it all once. We'll get you one of those, you know, you know,
those in the stacks where you have the ladder that like rolls around on the track would something
like that. Yeah. All right. So, so okay, so we're we're going to need to do some blueprints.
But first, we got to get out of this. Because it's like they were worried that the All right, so, so okay, so we're gonna need to do some blueprints, but first we gotta get
on the scene, because it's like they were worried that the game guys weren't gonna have enough
talk about because this is where they introduced the dick implant portion of this show.
Okay, yeah, okay.
So this is when they're selling a penis pump on their show.
Yeah.
Did I have a goddamn stroke?
Did they actually do that in the movie and in reality?
This was in the documentary.
Yeah.
What?
I really didn't expect it would make it
into the film, but apparently it did.
Yeah, so a really important thing is that like as the show went on and it became more
and more obvious like what hocksters they were and how little they knew about the book they apparently liked.
It just turned into like late night Jerry Springer garbage TV, right, where they would talk
about like, you know, if I can penis pumps and cookie recipes and shit.
And of course, we see this through the lens of the mom just fucking hating her.
It's the best.
She stops the penis bump fortune and she's like,
Mom, mom, it's here, you know what I'm about to say?
Hey, mom, I stand up.
And this spotlight comes to mom and mom might as well
just be flipping her the double bird the entire time.
She is the hero of this film.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, and she also the framing for the look how big the house
is seen too, right?
Yeah.
So she walks them through her house. And mom,
very reasonably is like, hmm, you know what? I was raised in like whatever shit show,
Tennessee thing you were supposed to be raised in. I'm pretty sure you're not supposed
to have a mega mansion. And she's like, you're ruining the bit, mom, you're ruining the
bed. To be actually takes out a Bible at one point. And mom's like, Mom, you're ruining the bed. Tammy actually takes out a Bible at one point,
and Mom's like, stop, stop, put the Bible down.
You sell dick pumps, I saw it.
Yesterday.
Unless you're about to show me the section on dick pumps in there,
I'm gonna need you to back this down.
Well, yeah, to be clear,
they lived an opulent lifestyle
even by the standards of televangelis.
Other televangelis had to tell the bakers,
hey, guys guys you're making
us look bad.
Yes, a huge plot point of this movie will be Jerry fucking fall well, the multi multi
millionaire con man being like, can you believe how those assholes lived?
Yeah.
I mean, blessed are the poor.
That's what I'm ready.
Marvel.
I've always said who wants to hear about Tinky Winky.
All right.
And then we reach honestly one of the most intriguing moments in you guys is no sir suboji
enigmatic notes about frosting and licking.
I have no idea what to expect in this.
Okay.
This is Jessica Chastain just decided to start making fun of the movie here.
Okay.
That's that's my theory.
So this is a cupcake episode.
And Tammy Faye is like, you know, interviewing a cupcake maker.
So she's like putting the frosting on like they do with the thing, but she just decided,
okay, I'm pretending this is come.
This is what's happening.
This frosting is garbage.
She's just like leading all the way into it.
It's the best. I was so hoping you would tell us this was also in the documentary. Do you remember over
on our other show, Scaning Atheist, when we did the Salty the Songbook episode at the
end where they book a key that little boy? Yeah. I do remember that. Yes. If they could
called cut and then showed those children this scene, those kids would be like, seems
it awful. I like come to me. You guys are in a little bit.
At one point, Tammy phase, like, I wish you could smell this and she's wafting the cum.
This is a penis with cum. It's so over the top. It's the best. Yeah. Awesome. All right.
So then we, we cut to after the show where we start to suspect that maybe old Jim
maker is an entirely on the up and up.
Yes. This will be the beginning of the secular press hates us because we love Jesus so
much persecution complex. The secular press of like 1980. Yeah, super secular back then, guys.
Jesus Christ.
But so this is the first of the many revelations
from the local press of where the fuck is all the money going.
Well, again, this movie is very hard trying to do the like Tammy Faye didn't know,
but that's fucking impossible because starting in the 1980s, newspapers were like,
I think they're fucking stealing the money.
So what happens in this scene is like,
Jim waves a newspaper very quickly in front of her face
and she's like, oh, I guess I didn't see what it said.
This is the way it is.
And they're like, oh, yeah.
Correct, miss.
All right, so then we cut to,
more hand stuff if Heath's notes are to be believed here.
Heath, are you lying about hand jobs
in your God-evolve movies notes?
Absolutely not.
I mean, maybe this was me in the theater again.
I don't think so.
I think this is also in the movie.
She, Tammy Faye was oiling up her entire body
for a hedge that involved feet and legs
and like the, you know, behind your
knee area.
It's not a hege if it involves feet.
That's a feed.
Thank you.
Yeah.
It's a beach.
No, that's blowjob.
It's the full body for beach.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
She is greasing herself up.
And I gotta say like that does seem to be the point of the scene, right?
Jim Baker's like on the phone being like, no, you tell them I can't pay till Monday and
tell them I need eight million dollars for Jesus. And then he turns off and he's like,
why do you put so much goop all over you? Oh, and she's like, so you'll fuck me.
Was this for beage? We talked about the guy. We didn't work out all this nomenclature for
nothing. You're going to do the crook behind my it. We didn't work out all this nomenclature for nothing.
You're gonna do the crook behind my knee.
We haven't done crook behind knee yet.
You said you wanted to try it.
Christmas.
And then Jim Baker just cries about how hard it is to be a big mega church multi-millionaire.
And I do like that this movie made him a big fucking cry baby idiot.
Yeah.
He was that.
Look, here's the thing about this movie. Every
time I got sad or bored or like confused during this movie, I reminded myself that there's
no fucking way Jim Baker didn't go watch this movie. Oh, wow. I'm sure on past the salt
or whatever the fuck he's doing these days, where he's selling blankets and cancer cures
whatever he's doing. He was like, I'll never see such a thing this hurtful to my wife's did was. But you and I both fucking know. Oh, absolutely.
On a Thursday night, he was like, I'm going down to the pool hall. And he got into an empty
theater. And he saw this movie. And he watched the scene where his wife just fucking hated
him and covered herself in liquid, just so she she could feel and then he wept at her
And he was just like
This is what's gonna happen when you Google my name forever. Oh, you know, it's another good use from a cream the cures
COVID and every other disease hand jobs as it turns out
All right, so then we get what I assume is the scene where Tammy is recording her album
So then we get what I assume is the scene where Tammy is recording her album.
Okay. This is supposed to set up the relationship between her and Gary, the sound guy she wanted to fuck. Yes. Okay. Okay. I have so many questions about the reality of this situation because
we're going to get to it. We're gonna get to it.
You know what?
I'm gonna leave it.
I'm gonna put a pin in it right here.
I'm just gonna say she records her singing and Gary, the sound guy is like, oh, you sing
like an angel.
You're the next monster match literally since I worked on the monster mash and you're better
than that.
And she's like, we also get to see Jim in his baby blue ice blue tuxedo.
We're second here, which I he looks like Elsa's valet.
Or something like that.
It's it's pretty great.
I tried on a baby blue tux once.
It went real badly.
I was I was convinced like I'm going to go to prom and I'm going to look awesome.
No, no.
Badly for everyone who ever did that.
I looked like Elsa's henchman.
All right. So and then we get our first glimpse, I guess, of what Jim Baker actually spent the 80s doing, which was begging for money into a camera. Right. And this whole scene is
to sort of establish that Tammy was too busy making music. And she didn't see any of the
fraud. She just sort of showed up and asked for money when she was told to.
Yeah, right.
So, well, apparently his pitch, and this actually was his pitch for an enormous amount of
the time was we've been exposed to fraud.
So we need your money now more than ever.
Yep.
I guess that's all of Christianity actually, not only think about it.
Yeah.
All of Christianity, all of our show, a lot of businesses are big fun to stick.
Call in the next 10 minutes and you can fund
more of our felonies in the next 10 minutes.
We don't have it.
This is really weird stuff.
Penis pump, we'll give you a penis pump.
Yeah, there you go.
We still have a few of those.
And then I guess we get another scene of Tammy and her mom.
Does it where she gives her the fur?
So this, look, there is no redemption arc between Tammy Febaker and her mom, does it where she gives her the fur? So this, look, there is no redemption arc
between Tammy Febaker and her mom.
She was like, oh, mama, and her mom was like,
fuck you, you con man piece of shit, I hate you.
But the nicest thing they could think of ever
in the history of this relationship
is one time she got her mama coat
and her mom didn't like spit on it and throw it in her face.
So this is their big redemption scene where she's like,
please take the coat and she's like, fine, I'll take the coat.
Yeah, well, and of course it's a fudge because there's nothing
that Tammy Fae ever did that wasn't tainted by evil.
Yeah, exactly.
She couldn't wear anything that wasn't suffering.
Yeah.
Is this an orphan belt door?
That's a bunch of you look great.
You look great. You look great.
You look great.
Seen ends, she turns to her mom.
She says, you look like a beautiful bear.
And I wrote in my notes, he never tells me I look like a beautiful bear.
He tells me you look like a beautiful bear.
If he takes the notes that I give him on how to look, it's fine.
Whatever.
Oh, and then we have it seems so unexceptional that he's literally wrote it down in the
notes as new scene.
Whatever.
I was so tired of it at this point.
I wrote down, okay, new scene, this movie is bad.
I hate everyone except Tammy's mom.
Who's that?
If I may part the kimono of our podcast slightly, he did the notes.
So he went in and did the scenes for a scene wrote new scene and I wrote next to that.
Hey, great job.
But okay, so this is apparently the first time that we're going to broach the gym
makers almost certainly a closet at homosexual aspect of the film.
Yeah, we see this because he gets in a tickle fight with his like a male assistant.
And I just want to say I dislike this movie's implication that he thinized tickle fights are anything other than a
super serious, super heterosexual war between two men. Yeah. And you guys this case, yeah.
Wait, I don't, okay. I don't agree with that. Oh, a craze a little of what's happened. Classic
no and. I don't have an end. Just no, just no.
Okay.
That's where we draw the line.
Interesting.
I thought article fights were somewhat romantic, a little bit romantic.
Oh, okay.
So you said, would you like to say anything back to that or I developed for magic feeling
slowly.
It was a enemies to lovers relationship.
There you go.
It's the real story.
It turned my texts about tickle fights.
All right.
So, and then we have to go back to the her and Gary relationship.
They're practicing music by candlelight.
They are rehearsing by candlelight.
And this is her moment of like, her fall from grace, right?
Right, yeah.
It's apparently just him kissing her neck while they dry-humped.
Yeah. Well, that's, that's when you dry-hump a woman in your heart.
It's her in reality. I don't know. Honestly, I didn't pay super close attention to this scene because
my movie theater, this was it for them. They lost their mind. They were like, get it, get it, get it. Put the movie about Tammy Vigor. I don't know what this is.
And that's a weird line because she was given hand like this.
This is so much less than that.
Look, when you hand job your husband,
uh, who you love in the bathtub because your mother hates him.
A lot of us can relate to that in this fucking AMC in the middle of Bayon,
New Jersey, but I will not watch someone dry hump a music producer.
I am a Christian.
I ain't here for that.
God, I was not prepared for this much near fuck stuff in the notes.
Mm-hmm.
But she gets so excited during their dry hump that her water brings.
Yeah.
Yeah. So she heads to the hospital to have herself a daughter.
And I guess I Jim is starting to get suspicious
of her and Gary at this point.
Well, because Gary's there.
Yeah, what the fuck is he doing there?
Yeah, he showed up at the hospital, like, okay,
maybe he drove her to the hospital,
but then he's just like, yum, her music producer guy,
I go in the room now while she delivers a baby. He-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he all over the world. Oh, okay. For whatever the, I mean, look, maybe I read that into the movie and there's no argument,
but like, for whatever reason,
Jim is now aware of their affair
and like that is the drama of the movie at this point.
Right on.
Well, and then adding to that drama,
of course, it's after that pregnancy
that Tammy got all the way addicted to Adavan,
mm-hmm, which this movie wants to sell us
as she only got addicted to Adivan because
Jim took away the music producer she was dry-umping and you know, what other choice did she have?
Okay, well no, that's fair, that's fair. Yeah, I wrote my notes, is this movie's take that she
was only so bad because she wasn't allowed to fuck her movie producer. Maybe.
Also, and again, just a mystifying choice.
This is where we see the Diet Coke thing.
Now, this was like a cultural touchstone for her, right?
Is that she would constantly be like,
I just love to act out.
I feel like Diet Coke would not have given permission for this.
There's a bunch of like porny shots of her opening a Diet Coke.
And I feel like someone at the Coke company should have called over and been like,
we'd love to get rid of that association.
You do not have permission to use our logo.
Listen, Donald Trump is good PR for us.
You are a little bit toxic for everybody.
Maybe it's something in the Diet Coke.
It could be, you know, but yeah, yeah.
So she's down in her diet coke. It could be, you know, but yeah, yeah. So she's down
in her adavan with diet coke. Jim is also talking to row messenger who would end up being
Tammy's second husband about building his heritage, not hate theme park. I don't have whatever
heritage USA. Yeah. He's like, check out the check out the plans. We're going to do a religious
theme park. These will always go great and never lose money forever. And he's like, check out the plans. We're going to do a religious theme park. These will always go great and never lose money forever.
And he's described, he's basically doing like a Christianity IPO and it's going to be
amazing.
And he explains how he sold all the shares to Heritage USA.
Like you could buy it like shares of stock.
And the construction guys like, well, how many chairs did you sell?
And chips like, I don't know a lot.
Many, yeah, many lots of money's worth.
So give us a giant loan and the guys like, no, no, fuck are you doing?
And to add to the complication of the scene, that scene is happening in the foreground.
In the background, like Heath yells at Bible Peace Theater,
Tammy Feiss is just
like loudly eating a chocolate cake and kicking over face and shit. It's a fucking nuts.
It is a nuts. What is happening in the background of the scene?
You're not gonna do crook of the knee stuff with me. I'm just gonna eat cake all the time
and it may make a bunch of noise while you're having meetings. That's what's happening.
There you go. That's that fuck that is you say something again. Say one more thing. Anyway, I was gonna
that's the scene. Oh, I gotta say honestly, I'm sad that it didn't make its way into the movie,
but the scenes of her trying to do their talk show when she was fucked up on Adevant are hilarious.
They show a couple of them in the documentary, but one of them does make it into the movie. Oh,
good. She tries to walk into a backdrop. It's pretty fantastic. Okay. Good. That was the
best one. We found it. Everybody. But yeah, to be clear about what's going on in the
scene though, because this is what he eventually went to jail for or a big part of it anyway,
is that he was selling like these lifetime accommodations
at this park. He sold twice as many of them as there were actual accommodations. And
then some right, they think they make a big deal sometimes about the fact that this park
at its peak was the third most visited theme park in the world after or in the country
rather after Disney World and Disneyland and it's just like, yeah, dude, it was a fucking Ponzi scheme though. Like, of course it was.
It didn't have to make money.
We've released infinity tickets to the puzzle and a thunderstorm park.
Right.
But I guess that night Jim has to confront her about how she wants to fuck Ro Messner as
well.
Yeah.
So Ro Messner is the guy who he was pitching with the shares and shit in the last scene.
And apparently this movie's take is all that like Heath yells at Bible peace theater from
the background was her flirting with him.
So they've got to have a fight about that.
Okay, to be clear, she would go on to marry this guy.
So his suspicions pan out.
Yeah, to be fair, to be in defense of Jim Baker, a sentence I thought I would say less
than in defense of Tammy Bay Baker.
Oh, and they hate each other.
And I just want to point out the, the scene doesn't matter because it's just two evil
people being like, I don't like you.
I don't like you.
But at this point, the gentleman, the scholar, Ney, the hero sitting next to me who had
brought his wife and two children,
crack to beer, because he realized where this movie was.
I don't know where the beer was.
I don't know when he was planning on cracking it, but he just like very loudly was like,
and he was like, yep, nope, we made it through the hand jobs, daddy gets a beer during
the movie.
It was 11 a.m. on a Sunday, everybody.
I just, I liked that the movie felt that need to remind us that Ronald Reagan
was all the way in the Baker's corner back then.
Mm-hmm.
That was a weird moment.
Yeah, this whole argument's happening.
And I didn't know where Jim's like,
I gotta let her from Ronald Reagan.
How dare you don't talk to me that way.
I'd drive a Dodge Stratus.
I'm a Reagan letter.
Yes, legitimately, yes.
And then we get the, I guess,
weepy apology for the dry hump scene.
Okay, Noah, I'm so curious, is this in the documentary?
No, nothing about her having an affair or giving a hege to Gary the sound guy.
Apparently she did talk about, like, a moment of weakness that she had on air during the Tammy Faye Baker show and it like caused their
things to triple. Yeah, well, right, right. So Jim Baker suddenly realized that he could
profit from her infidelity when she apologized him. He's like, wait, you need to totally do this
on air. We would make a fortune. That's what a piece of shit. That's what a piece of shit they both are.
Well, yes.
She was like, I'm sad.
Dry out my music producer and he was like, hey, we could make some money off this and
she was like, wait, let me get another take of that.
I'm sorry.
Literally, he says you need to apologize and she says, I'm sorry, Jim.
And he's like, no, no, no, not to me, to the partners and the people who give us money
is who you need to apologize
to.
Yeah, the people I'm below me, isly ripping off right now.
Yeah, they would be scandalized by this.
So she goes on air and apologizes for her infidelity and they make a fucking, fuck ton of money
off of it.
Yep.
They made money off that everyone got a tote bag with a picture of her and Gary rubbing
their bits together through their pants. I'd like to apologize to all our listeners for misinterpreting my
tickle fights with Eli. So you want to have her to Patreon or whatever. I don't know.
Does this help? And I do this. Okay. Everyone who changes their name to tickle fights for
Patreon for the next week. Free tote bag. No, we don't get a free. We'll get a ticket to our team park. A lifetime ticket to our theme park and a penis pump. What the hell?
Sure, sure. I like that bit because we don't read our patron names on air,
but friends of the show Thomas Smith and Andrew Torres over an opening
arguments do. So next week, they're going to be like, I don't know, there's a
lot of stuff that hand jobs this week. We don't we start. We got to listen to the other guys. They're going to have to do it all with like
letters. They're going to have to be like HJ. Right. Clown horn, clown horn, clown horn,
clown horn, everybody's clown horn for like 10 and a right. Yeah. That'll be fun.
So they're not allowed to swear. Cowards. We're allowed to swear.
All right. Well, so and then of course, now that they made all that infidelity money, Jim announces that
the P.T.
L.A.
was hitting the big time.
And we'll be able to broadcast 24 hours a day.
Jesus.
Oh.
Did he say 24-7 until Jesus comes back, right?
Yes.
He's building in that caveat.
Amazing, it's gotta be so sad to be a Christian.
You pray all the time and nothing works.
What, like they have this complex constantly, right?
You would think.
Yeah.
It is a nice reminder that even back in the 1980s,
they were pitching the world is gonna end any minute,
so we're going live and don't tell anyone. Yeah, I mean, also at the eight 80s, they were pitching the world is going to end any minute. So we're going live
until I'm also in the eight 80s, but yeah, wrong about that one for a while. But yeah,
so and this is a big actually a pretty big deal. They were the first, I believe, Christian
media network that had their own satellites, so they could broadcast worldwide. And, you
know, obviously, look, they were broadcasting into some pretty impoverished
parts of the world for the first time. Yeah. This is also where we see them pitching
the theme parks. Some more specifically the Jerusalem theme one. Right. Apparently, they
were like, yeah, we're gonna make a Jerusalem. But without all the, you know, Jewish stuff,
it's that's gross. But like, kind of like it, you know, I well, usually the villain activates
his satellite and gets rid of all the jui type stuff is a is an act three type of thing.
So I feel like we might be open to for a break. But first, let me give the rest of the movie
the heart's help is Jim Baker really dumb enough to get himself screwed out of three different
successful Christian media empires. Yeah, Purs. How the fuck could he not see that third one coming?
Is too dumb for televangelism really a thing?
Find out the answers to these questions and more.
We'll return for the damn it.
Jessica wants an Oscar conclusion of the eyes of Tammy Faye.
Should have been the hands of Tammy Faye.
Yes. Should have been the hands of Tammy Thay. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What? Sorry. Are you wearing a wedding band? You don't wear a wedding band.
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No, uh look at our hands and tell us who is the genius
Yeah, this is important neither neither of you. Oh damn it. And I didn't need your hands for that. Okay, look at my feet
no
Genius Genius. Hey podcast listener, I'm Eli Bosnick.
I'm Ethan Wright, and this week's episode really got us thinking, if Jim Baker and Tammy
Faye can fill 24 hour network with constant asks for money and idle chit chat, then surely
there's room for a secular version of that as well.
That's right Eli, which is why we're proud to introduce the Puzzle Online Channel, providing you six to eight hours a day of secular money-grubbing content.
That's right. We'll interview bigots just like they did, sell you stuff just like they did, and fill the rest of the time with our nebulous,
under-informed opinions. Damn it, Heath, we made Joe Rogan again. Oh, yeah, yeah, we did, we made Joe Rogan, never mind.
Yeah, sorry.
No, never mind, we made Joe Rogan again, we did that again.
Again?
Yeah, yeah, it's again.
Damn it.
So much money.
And we're back for more of this shit,
and we're going to rejoin the action with Heritage USA under construction,
specifically from what I gather from the notes, they're building themselves more of this shit. And we're going to rejoin the action with Heritage USA under construction, specifically
from what I gather from the notes, they're building themselves a coliseum.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This was a weird moment because they set the scene up for like Jerry Falwell to like not
be so sure about the coliseum.
Jerry Falwell is going to save this theme park by going down the water slide in a full suit.
He would have been like, woo, policy and put the
teletubbies in it. Well, he saved the park by declaring bankruptcy and just keeping
the salary. But yeah, we'll get there. We'll get there. But so, but based on the notes here,
what I'm gathering is there's a desperate attempt here to sort of like place this movie in time
and just sort of remind everybody who know we're totally doing the 80s. This is a period.
October 15th, 1984. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. The heat doing it get ahead of moving.
Opera Poe of nothing Ronald Reagan is president, right? How about that?
Well, and they also discussed Pat Robertson's presidential ambitions here.
How did those go? Let's not gloss over the fact that like that was dangerously realistic
for a moment in American history, right?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, if he went to the Supreme Court, he could have been P. Robes, Robes.
It's too bad. You'll find it. You'll find it.
Yeah, no, it's too bad. It's too bad. That pun would have made it all worthwhile.
Morgan, cut this out while I'm thinking about how to do this.
Fine. I'm going to get there.
Hey, podcast, mister.
If you're listening to this, it's because there's been 45 minutes.
It's like a lot of fuck moving on.
P robes be air.
So nice.
Nice.
God damn it.
It's pretty good one way or the other.
It's really good.
Fuck you.
All right, so then we get the famous interview
that Tammy Faye did with Steven Peters,
they openly gay, pastor with AIDS.
Yeah.
Now again, this was extremely progressive for the time
the time was 1985, so let's not get carried away.
Right.
And let's put this thing on the reason that
he TVed into the studio was not because he was undergoing a medical procedure. It was
because she and her crew were not comfortable having him in the studio because he had
AIDS. Absolutely. Now, according to him, he's still alive. He outlived Tammy Faye apparently
and he was interviewed afterwards about this. And according to him, he always, at least
he felt that Jim and Tammy would have been fine with him, but they didn't think
that the crew would. So that's the line they sold him anyway is that, well, no, no, we're
not bigots, but our crew. Yeah. See, Peters is a fucking badass and a hero. The fact that
his incredible bravery is contextualized against this fucking sag demon and her attempt at ratings
is a tragedy.
Yes, exactly.
But of course, we also learned in this scene that fall well does not approve of all of
this, you know, treating gay people as human beings.
Shit.
Yeah, yeah, this is happening.
Keep in mind the context, there's a gay man who's doing treatment for AIDS, right?
He's taking chemo and stuff or whatever they were doing. And Falwell is hearing this interview
and he's like, she's not hating the gay guy enough, get her under fucking control.
Yeah. Somebody, somebody side tackle or something.
Well, yeah, keep in mind, this is a guy who would later be haunted by the sexual orientation
of a tele-tubby. So yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
And in case you were getting too cozy with Tammy Fae and her sweet, sweet LGBT allyship,
this is where we also get reminded that a woman constantly called the station and told
them that Jim Baker had raped her and Tammy Fae ignored it actively.
And silence members of her staff who asked her about it.
Yeah.
I wrote in my notes, how's your touching feeling moving now?
Huh?
How's your touching feeling moving now?
Yeah.
Well, and yeah, so then we get that revelation, the one that Jim Baker is accused of rape
by a playboy model.
And honestly, I'm going to be truthful with you.
I'm surprised how little of a part that's playing in the overall film.
Yeah. I'm surprised how little of part that's playing in the overall fell. Yeah, they very much skirt around this issue because Tammy Faye was so instrumental
in silencing this accusation, right?
And this movie's angle is definitely like that Tammy Faye was just like a stupid say.
He clown who didn't see that Jim Baker was doing all this bad stuff.
But like, right, a casual glance at the reality of this situation is that Tammy
Fay was very aware that her husband had raped someone who was a coworker at the time,
by the way, had raped someone who was a coworker at the time and did absolutely everything
she could to silence this woman and make sure that she got nothing in terms of compensation
for what she'd been through.
So the movie does like a, oh yeah, a lady called on the phone the other day.
Anyways, I'm addicted to drugs.
Well, yeah, they show somehow
the fact that he's being accused of rape
as her rock bottom.
Yeah, it's really hard on her.
Yeah, she was the one that really suffered because of that.
Mm-hmm.
This is the scene that we teased earlier
where she tried to walk through a backdrop of a beach.
Yep. Once again, this is a real one. You can go watch the video of.
Oh, and do look definitely I'm not saying you should watch this movie.
It's rare that we get to say like you can go and watch this movie that we're reviewing
on the show. I would love for Eyes of Tammy Faye to be a great hit in Eyes of Tammy Faye
to come out. It's just like Jim Baker taking a painful diarrhea.
Shit, but you should definitely watch the clip of Tammy Feidaker trying to walk into a backdrop
of a beach.
Yes.
Absolutely.
But this sets up her trip to the Betty Ford Clinic.
Apparently she OD didn't real life on this shit.
And then spent exactly one night in a Betty Ford Clinic.
Yep.
I will admit, I didn't pay a ton of attention
to this scene about the Betty Ford clinic
because the pastor in front of me was losing his mind
at this point.
It was like his chair was stabbing him.
And it's just like,
oh, every word that came out of the character's mouth
at this point, I thought he was gonna do a barrel roll
out of the theater. I'ma use car salesman he was gonna do a barrel roll out of a theater.
I'ma use car salesman now.
I'ma, I'ma, I'ma, I'ma, I'ma.
Wait, so this is the pastor who is in charge
of the church group that was there?
Yes, yes, in my theater.
Wow.
Yeah, I think he was gonna be a used car salesman
at the end of this thing one way or the other, right?
Like they were gonna decide that for him
if he didn't do it for himself.
God's time out, this time Mulligan, I call Mulligan on his whole thing.
He doesn't count. This doesn't count. Jesus music is still out. Uh, Jesus.
So now it's the next morning. We're back home and Jim Letzer know that like in case it wasn't
clear that we are at the rock bottom portion of the movie and he hates her fucking guts.
This is everyone going for their Oscar here.
Garfield's going for the Oscar.
Chastain's going for the Oscar.
I expected the actor who played Jerry Falwell to drop out of the ceiling and be like, I'm
also in this relationship fight since it's an off-reo.
But look, here's the thing people.
I hate these people.
I have no empathy for them.
All my notes are, I want to throw them swords. Fifth fight. Why did they make this movie? I don't understand who this is for.
This scene does feel like they got to this point in the movie and they were all standing
there and they were like, these people saw, there's gotta be, are there people? There are
people who didn't suck who we could have made movies about.
Yeah, no, so who this movie was for?
Like, and that's a big question that all of the reviews are asking.
You know, who's the intended audience was who this movie is for as fucking Jessica
Chastain, who was pretty sure she could win an Oscar by doing Tammy Fad, right?
But the movie never bothers to establish a purpose beyond that.
Especially since the documentary is based on already exists.
Right.
Oh, yeah, didn't Jessica Chastain buy the rights
to Tammy Fe's story?
I wouldn't be surprised at all.
I know she's been trying to get this made for quite a while.
Yeah, which is a weird pick.
All the people in history that you can pick
anybody you want.
Yeah.
Maybe it was like, have you ever been on cameo? I'm obsessed with cameo.
So this might not be super relatable, but sometimes you're on cameo and you're like,
oh, Gary, B.S. he's 200 bucks. Kevin Sorbos 200 bucks. And then you're like, okay, but
that guy who got eliminated from the bachelor's second on season 16, he's just $25. I'm
gonna have him wish my wife a happy whole day.
I don't think.
My takeaway is that Gary Busey is only $200.
Yeah, right.
Not Gary Busey.
Pretty reasonable right there.
Gary, all we want you to do is get on a camera,
start running and then stop running.
That's it.
You don't even have to say anything.
That's it.
I just wanna see you do that.
Just do some seven by 15s.
You can actually run in place would be fine, really.
If you're in a enclosed area.
It's approximately what would happen to me.
We will give you $50.
Her jumping jackdair is beautiful.
I mean,
All right, so yeah, so they have their big fight.
And I guess now it's gonna become public.
The fact that he raped this woman and paid to cover it up,
it's gonna become public. So we get the scandals about to hit scene.
Yeah, this is where Jerry fall well. And okay, is this in the documentary?
They like he asked them to write down their budget and then he ended up reading it.
Yes, okay, so that's the accusation that Tammy Faye has always made about this particular
incident. But what you just explained it to the audience tell them what's going on.
So he comes and he's like, it's bad, but don't worry where Christians are audience
at ghouls. They'll probably forgive us instantly because they had moral compasses. They wouldn't
be giving you money in the first place. So what I need you to do, we're going to have
you lay low, you're going gonna write down your monthly expenses,
and then I'll make sure that you're taking care of.
And then it cuts to a press conference
where he's reading it out loud,
like, can you believe these greedy motherfuckers?
Yeah, so what she says is that he sent the guys,
and hey, this is what the board has decided to give you.
You just have to write down that you want it.
And I'll have something official to put in our records that you requested this and then we'll give it all to you. And then he went out and read it as though, look at what they're demanding so much.
Yeah, I don't believe either of them. I honestly think that the piece of paper that he was reading off of doesn't exist because everyone involved has to be lying given who they are.
Yes, that's the wonderful thing about this movie.
Whenever I would just,
because you look, you're watching a movie,
you're gonna empathize with the thing on the screen.
Every time I would be like,
oh, I'd be like, nope, don't care about them,
don't care about him, everybody win.
So, problem.
Brom source.
Kumate, Kumate, Kumate.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I also like that he adds that Jim is gay to the press conference.
Yes, he does, he does and did.
Yep. And he's like also like a lot of dudes said you try to grab their decks, like a lot of guys.
Which is true.
A lot of guys did say that.
We need a non problematic way to make fun of Jim Baker for that more.
We talk about him a lot on our other shows and he had to work that in more.
He's got so much other shit to offer up though.
It's true, the problem every time we talk about him,
he's selling a blanket, you can put your bills underneath.
We don't do it.
No, exactly.
The raping, and they.
So now, so to be clear, here's how this actually plays out
regardless of who you believe.
I feel like you should just murder more kids with his card
to try to get all the news
about him.
Oh, there you go.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
Everything we get buried beneath it.
Hey, it worked for Matthew Broderick.
So, okay.
But so here's what happened.
There just to be clear to the audience.
And this is true regardless of whose story you believe.
Jerry Falwell stepped in and said, Hey, guys, you know, this scandal is going to really
threaten everything that you've built here. I'm going to step in on your behalf.
And I'll run this for a little while while you lay low and let the scandal go so that
it doesn't destroy the PTL network inherited USA and all of that shit. And then eventually
he's like, yeah, I don't want you coming back because no matter what you do, you'll fuck
it all up and kept it declared bankruptcy and so on.
So he did slither his way in here when they were under scandal
and take their shit.
Or as I put it in my notes,
Piggy doesn't trust other Piggy with the pig shit champ.
Yeah, exactly.
It was so weird because like,
I'm so often the only empathetic person in my theater,
right? Like I was sitting there for God's not dead
And ever and she was like I identify a self-partner and everyone in my theater was like
Imagine not thinking what I think about sex and in this movie it was the opposite every one of my theater was like
Oh poor Tammy Fano's like get her get her lighter on fire
Burn the house down with the mo inside Jerry Fowell
invite your son.
All right, so now Jim and Tammy Jim is going to make his big on air apology for the rape
and subsequent embezzlement.
And apparently this is real.
Their apology included a musical number.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Like apparently this clip is fairly fake. The moment we see in
the movie is fairly faithful. He was like, me and Tammy have hurt you all, but we don't want to
lose your trust. And then Tammy was like, God bless America. No, that's a, look, you again,
that's in the documentary. You can watch her actually do that. And you can watch everybody go,
like, what? Oh, God, she's doing the whole song. How do we make this stop how sorry? Did you guys write a sorry for the fraud and sexual assault?
Because that's what I'm hearing you do or you're improvising that don't go breaking my heart
Either way
problematic
And then we get a montage about the fact that in addition to the religious fraud that is
his job, he also was doing regular fraud too, right?
Like so again, raping a woman, then paying her off to keep quiet about it and embezzling
the money to do.
So is not the extent of his crimes.
That was just, that was the first one that came to light is all.
My theater is so unhappy at this scene.
Like it's so, my theater at this point
were like writhing in their seat.
It was clockwork orange.
I was the doctor and they were all my pictures.
My notes are just, my theater is so mad.
I'm so happy.
Is it a dick mood for me to stand up and scream suck it?
Did you not?
I did not.
Wow.
So, and then we get Jim's infamous purplock.
I saw in Noah's notes this is a real thing and I was like, oh, like so they actually
what?
No, this is a, and this is loyal in the movie.
Yeah, yeah, no, and it's one of the most famous purplocks of all time because he's
bawling.
They've got him handcuff, he's got his coat over the handcuffs,
and he's just crying his eyes out on the way out.
Oh, and then she's saying, she's saying it,
the press conference.
Yep, of her husband.
It's the most awkward video you will ever see
where no one dies.
We're like, yeah, no one actually dies during the video.
I wrote in my notes, maybe you should try peeing yourself again.
That seems a lot better.
Oh, okay.
And then obviously, he's a jail.
Everything's going bad for her.
And then they recreate pretty much the saddest scene from the documentary where she's pitching
ideas for the Tammy Faye TV show to a profoundly uninterested professor.
I, again, at this point I was like, there's no way Noah is being real.
I watched the day.
They did like a word for word reenactment.
Did they really?
Yeah.
And it is dark.
Well, because the idea she has are so like, I'm coming up with this shit off the top of
my head.
Yup.
Right.
Like if you and I were forced to go in and pitch TV shows right now, we would do a better job
Well, she says I'm gonna follow around some teenagers and
That's a whole
Where they go, yeah, I guess that is what do you lie might say when he
I have ideas after I follow the teenagers
You guys just keep interrupting me and tackling me and take a funny, me.
Well, good.
But the response from this exec is great.
He's like, wow, I don't know, maybe talk to a Christian network.
It's a hard pass.
And then there's this like really sad silence.
And he's just like, yes, we validate, get out.
Well, so in the documentary, he's like, yeah, I don't really have any need for a talk
show person.
And I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about with the teenagers.
Is that sounds like something where like lifetime would do?
Maybe you want to go pitch it to them.
And she's like, can you call them for me right now?
And he's like, yeah, man, I can, they don't know me or anything.
It would just be like you calling them, but fine.
And he calls them and they never call their back. It comes up. The documentary comes up and says and they never they never call their back.
He might as well be faking the phone call bring bring. Hello.
Yeah, my son has a little toy phone that will be like, what is for Max? That's what he's doing.
Well, and then and then I guess she goes downstairs and he humiliates her self to some teens.
This is this is the part of the movie where I look I'm not going to say I felt bad for
Jim Baker, but like I'm not a perfect person, but knowing that I'm going to make it through
corporeal existence without anyone making a movie about how sad my wife was after I ruined her life.
That does give me some hope and Jim Baker doesn't get that.
Yeah.
Jim Baker was there on the Thursday being like,
Oh, don't have her give the teenagers a headshot.
Oh, no, she don't give teenagers a headshot.
You don't think that movie you're talking about is in that for now.
I would say you are so much more confident of that fact than I am.
So good, good for you.
All right.
So and then just what it seemed like all was lost and she would have to make do with
the very substantial sums of money she still had at this point.
She gets an invite to sing at an oral Roberts University event.
Oh, she's more of a hands than an oral person, but that's
what. Oh, and then of course, we have to close the Jim Baker threat of the story. So she
visits him in prison. Right. And again, this is just a very like gosh, Golly, I did do
a raping. Didn't I like again, I know that this movie is anti-Jim Baker. It's just not anti-Jim Baker enough for me personally.
It would have been hard to reach that more.
You can't be anti-Jim Baker enough.
Right.
I don't want a scene where we visit Brock Turner.
Like I don't care.
Yeah, but I will say something that I learned along the way is that typing Jim Baker in prison
is really fun.
I typed it in extra couple of times.
I kept going back and typing it again.
Very satisfying.
Caligraphy.
Gotta get on one of those TikToks
where you pay the person 50 bucks to write your words.
Yeah, but he sure does feel bad
for the numerous crimes that he did.
Come in.
And then I guess we wrap up mom's character arc
like a citation needed
skin right.
It's to speed cut to mom's funeral.
Yeah.
The theater at this they were like lost.
They're facing other directions.
They're doing headstands in the aisle at this point.
Yeah.
And apparently her obsession with that people's glasses made it into the film.
Yeah.
What is this?
Yeah, so that's how the documentary starts.
It's with her talking about how she likes
to collect the glasses of her dead friends
because then she can see through their eyes.
What?
Yeah, why was that not in the movie?
That's the thing that didn't make it into the movie?
How do they leave?
I'm trying to think of something creepier
than the collection of dead people's glasses like what would be worse?
That's it. They're like trophies. Yeah, no, yeah, showing off. She's like these are my mom my dead mom's glasses. How about that? Yeah, toenails?
They get they have the glasses to get an origin story in the movie though. I am excited about that. So okay
So now she's heading to oral Roberts University for the big, she's
gonna sing again thing. She does a moment of like, remember early in the movie when she
did the puppet with herself as a kid, she does a puppet moment with her wig and I was
like, look, if this wig tells her to kill herself, I will buy all the DVD copies of this
movie. I got the wig puppet thing also lifted directly
from the documentary.
Oh, it's so painful.
It's so real.
I know she's a bad guy.
It's just, I don't know.
You don't have to watch Bane roll around on the ground
and be like, oh, it really hurt
when Batman kicked me in the nose.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
But in this, it's okay.
Okay, but they should have. They should have. Yeah, yeah. No, I ain't it. But then, but I guess should. Yeah, right.
Yeah.
No, I hate it.
But then, but I guess she sings us out here.
This is the big closing musical number, that moment for where, like, at least for a second,
it can seem like she didn't then go on to be a terrible loser that everyone hated until
she died.
Oh, but in the movie, they really, they really hit you with that.
The audience doesn't like her at all.
She's imagining herself with a choir
and it keeps constantly showing us
that it's just in her imagination.
This is where I wrote my notes.
Damn, I really pride myself on how mean I am to shitty people,
but this movie, this movie fucking wins.
My theater, my theater, which at this point was the fucking,
what's the kids that are on the island
and then Piggy die?
Lord of the flies. Yes. My theater was Lord of the flies at this point was the fucking, what's the kids that are on the island and then piggy die? They ordered the flies.
Yes.
My theater was Lord of the Flies at this point,
but they tried to clap when she sang,
God bless America, like two of them.
We're like, all right, you done renamed it.
Eli's just throwing people off him.
Stop trying to put my head on a bike.
Stop it, stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it.
All right, and then I guess we wrap up with a quick breakfast club close.
Yes.
And they were like, eh, Matt Robertson sucks.
And Jerry Falwell sucks.
But just for one more fuck you to all those Christian people in the last audience, it ends
with Tammy embraced the LGBTQ community.
And my theater also got, they were like, oh, we had the singing and there's got, oh,
fuck this.
This doesn't align with my bigotry.
I'm mad again.
Well, so she did a talk show where she was partnered with an openly gay man, which is,
I'm sure what they were referring to there.
But in a lot of ways, like, if you would you watch the documentary and it comes across
that she did that, like as revenge against Christianity.
So I don't know how much credit I want to give.
Yeah, I have no idea how true that is, but I did enjoy how much my theater hates.
And I would like to talk about my breakfast club clothes because the movie ended and my pastor who had been trying to fold
himself into his own asshole.
How close was he?
Stands up pretty close.
Stands up and goes, hi everyone.
So obviously not everyone who speaks for God is perfect, but God.
God is perfect, but God, God is perfect. And he pauses for 24 minutes and goes,
and obviously our church doesn't have any problems
like that.
And then he says,
I wasn't raped anybody.
I want you guys to know.
And then he says,
well, we're doing a brunch upstairs
if you all want to come up and get some eggs.
And I watched him be like, please come to the brunch we both.
I went to the AMC in Times Square.
So he was like, please, I paid so much money for this Times Square brunch.
I can't believe you didn't go to the brunch.
I am a coward. And look, there are a few things I regret in life more than not going to
this brunch and just walking up to everybody and being like, I like the movie.
Did you see the thing?
Yeah.
Pancakes, as this is happening, Eli is weeping with laughter.
I'm sure because he calls me and he's like, here's what's
happening.
He's trying to explain this to me.
I couldn't even understand the words for the first two minutes.
He gets so highly hit.
He gets what he's that excited.
Yeah.
I called he squealing.
I was just like, there's a bridge.
There's a bridge.
That was like, you're going to the fucking brunch, right?
I couldn't, if I could have done it with a straight face, I would have
done it. But also to make it funnier, the minute he finished being like, there's a
brunch, a mad dad stood up and started screaming directly. And I was just like, I'm not going
to make it through this brunch. They're going to this is a very high building. All right.
So normally I close by asking about the moral of the story,
but judging by that story and Heath Snow's, I'm far more curious about this. What lesson
do you think Christians going to see this movie learn?
Uh, I think they learn to do a quick Google about the director before you schedule a brunch,
breakfast, waffle thing around a church outing to see this movie.
Okay, fair.
Fair.
Oh, I hope they didn't learn that.
All right.
Well, that's going to do it for our review of the eyes of Tammy Faye, but it's not going
to do it for the episode just yet because we still need to prime the pump for next week.
So Eli, tell us what's on deck.
Well, no, just in time for the end of the month. We've got a spook tag your hollow with fiend occasion
Almost as horrifying as Tammy face face. We'll be watching
Bless the child
We're gonna get out of this month tagular free, but I guess not okay
So that's a look forward to bringing up episode 322 to a merciful close once again a huge thanks to all the patreon
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Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week.
For Heathin, right, Neil Abbas,
and I'm gonna lose this promise to work harder,
earn another chunk next week and tell them,
we'll leave you with a breakfast club close.
Tenney Faye went on to learn the Euro grip
and the two-handed fire starter hand jobs.
But Jim never got to enjoy it.
Oh.
The Jerry Falwell Jr.'s wife movie they make in 2046 will be so much better.
So much better!
Jim Baker saw this movie.
That you're asking.
Oh, he saw it.
I want to see someone.
He's just sit there. Everyone's leaving with their popcorn. moving that you're asking. Oh, you saw it. I want to swim. I want to swim.
He's just sit there.
Everyone's leaving with their popcorn.
And he's just like, yeah, well, you are.
You are.
You are.
You are.
You are.
You are.
You are.
You are.
You are.
You are.
You are.
You are.
You are.
You are. You are. You are. You are. You are. I'm having a waffle breakfast. I have a sitting here and finishing my waffle.
I'm going to go get my ass kicked in a waffle house after this video.
It wants to come watch.
It's going to be a lot less painful.
Uh oh, I don't see Heath.
I don't see Heath either.
Oh no.
Bat bitch.
Morgan, can you send me this part?
There he is.
All right, I'm back.
There he is.
I hear you.
Noah called you a fat bitch while you were a lot on the line.
Why would you do that?
That's fair.
That's crazy.
I tried it and I'm just a sucker.
So my true bill was like,
Hey man, there's no way you're using all this, right?
And I was like, I won all those still
and they were like, really?
Paramount plus and I was like, I want it.
And then you sign up for true bill three times
and pass three times.
All right.
You've a scribb at an account, Eli.
When's the last time you read a book?
I might read a book. You don't know
Hello j-store subscription really
Really
What if all of our listeners tried true bill and they realized they're still patrons and we'd really like lose all our money
Oh, like that's there's a danger in average.
There is a danger in the true bill. Yeah.
All right.
Except for patron. If you cancel patron, you get blood cancer.
Yep.
Blood cancer.
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