God Awful Movies - 339: Atlas Shrugged Part III: Who is John Galt?
Episode Date: February 15, 2022This week, Cecil joins us to roast review the third and final installment of the Atlas Shrugged movie trilogy. You MUST be wondering how bad the kompromat is that we're using to blackmail him into doi...ng ALL THREE of these movies. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Check out more from Cecil on Cognitive Dissonance and Season Liberally Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/
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Discussion (0)
My favorite part about that whole thing though with Sean Hannity is that he's not invited
to the island.
Oh, you're right.
Like Sean Hannity and all these other pundits, like they keep going back though, they're
gonna mention another pundit.
And a second, none of those people got invited to the fucking tropical fucking.
You're right.
You're the right paradise.
They're all sucking its dick from back in the hell.
No, they're furious because Colbert got taken because they didn't know I was satire.
Yeah, the best.
Yeah, Ted Cruz, I wish John got what insult my wife.
Oh no!
Oh no!
Movie!
Movie!
Movie! Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be media leftism, a good friend. Heath and right. Heath, welcome back. Am I being detained? I feel like I'm being detained.
I think he wants to get me
in these.
I knew it was free.
You have been still.
I think Cecil's being Cecil's genuinely
being detained.
Cecil, Blink, if you're being detained,
I would take the taser at this point.
I just take the taser.
I'd get shot by a cop right now.
And sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend
Eli Bosnick Eli. How are you this fine afternoon, sir? I would let Heath get shot by a cop.
Well, there you go. It's getting shot by a cop. Have you seen me? I look like every cop.
Yeah. That's true. That's true. Kind of. Maybe if we could convince them to commit suicide, it accidentally shoot you.
I look like a composite sketch of cop.
That's me.
It's all them together.
It's me.
And also joining us today, we've already mentioned it,
but I might as well introduce them officially from 900 miles to my north,
200 miles to Heath's west and deep inside Eli's heart is Cecil,
something Italian from the cognitive distance podcast podcast Cecil, welcome back.
It's sticky in here.
It is.
It's very sticky.
Well, a plaque in here.
Very narrow too.
So tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today?
We watched Atlas shrugged part three.
Who is John Gaults?
That's in the title.
Mm-hmm.
It's the story of a tantrum about sharing crayons,
the political philosophy for grownups.
That's true.
Oh, god.
And Eli, how bad was this movie?
Well, if you're trying to cast the trilogy,
but everyone you've cast dies like a Mr.
Mixie's clone after making a movie.
You will love this third one once again, brand new cast.
Yeah.
Cast.
Yeah.
What?
It lay.
Okay.
Has this ever happened before in a trilogy or even a, even a two part?
Have they ever just completely
recast?
No, I don't, I don't think I'm not possible.
Probably, but what's crazy is the auto work actors from two wouldn't accept the calls
from three.
That's insane.
Yeah.
Well, so yeah, we have to point out what a precipitous drop off in budget this movie
saw, right?
So according to the internet, the first movie's budget was somehow
20 million fucking dollars, it, you know, made four, they spent it all on train footage,
but yeah, go ahead. Yeah, exactly. The second movie was less than 10. This one was about
five, right? Zeno's sequels here. But of course, dropping in an even pasture rate were the
returns. First one made 4.6 million. The second made $4.6 million, the second one, $3.3 million.
And this one, a whopping according to box office mocho, $846,704.
Okay, but it'll never go to zero.
So that's right.
Okay.
So think about this.
We made about half of that with our charity fund razor last year on
a budget of whatever we paid Cecil's wife for that logo, she drew.
Right?
And we've carried her logo over.
We haven't lost the logo.
I just the logo.
What did we pay?
Tote bag, a bottle of wine.
I just gave her one hug.
That's a one, one free hug.
One free hug.
$5 million hug right there.
Did she redeem it yet?
Probably not.
She doesn't touch me.
We're married.
Now, is there anything you guys want to nominate this one
for being the best of being the worst at?
Yeah, I'm going to go with best worst character name.
Yes, so how?
Okay, so we already met a mightest Mulligan.
Uh huh.
Yes.
And a Balfe, you bank.
Balfe.
For example, those are two existing names.
Ragnar, Danis, Joel, they jumped over that bar.
We need coffee, migs.
Coffee, migs.
In this one.
My only regret in life is not getting to watch no illusions watch this guy get introduced
and be like, fuck you.
Coffee migs.
Coffee migs.
Get out of here.
Every character name is like somebody's lying.
It's like, what's your name?
Six.
Coffee. All right.
So I wanted to go with best worst exposition de evolution.
Right.
Keep in mind, we started at Train News Network.
Right.
That was how they got everything into the first movie as they would just happen to look
up at the news and they'd be talking about trains on CNN again, right? It got so much worse.
It's we basically we have a narrator that cuts in every seven or eight minutes and goes, so anyway,
it's so bad. Sir, do you mind reading this narration right before your child support hearing?
I feel like you're not going to be too cute. It's going to angri mind reading this narration right before your child support hearing? I feel like you're not going to get to do kids.
I'm going to hang really reading this.
Yes, it's pirate.
It's obviously for three movies.
I have known what was coming.
It's the pirate guys.
And it's just it's more on the worse side for the pirates who said this pirate spends the
majority of his time at a fucking farmers market.
It's the farm.
Yep.
And identifying planes while they're flying.
Those are the two things he has to get a super power for.
He makes really great apples and he can identify planes from the ground.
He's checking like he's like amazing mutant power.
He'll be in the next ax man.
See how squishy his roots are. It's just
that's what we want. Yeah, all the build up for two movies. I have watched my dear sweet
Cecil look into the sunset with a glimmer in his eye, waiting for the pirate and it's just a
fat guy in a farmer's market. I got a long shorman selling the apples. That's what I got.
That's what I got.
Talk worker selling the apples.
Oh,
Regnard Dennis golden delicious.
Right.
It's not a it's not a good pirate.
That's all.
No, not a good pirate.
And I'm going to go with best worst defense of their Kickstarter.
Yeah.
This is the best. So again, this is from the general trivia.
The first piece of general trivia for the film is, quote,
I'm not making any of these words up.
Nearly half a million dollars of the film's budget was raised
through the online funding site Kickstarter.
Nearly wow.
This was claimed by many to be ironic since crowdfunding or charity
is in opposition to
iron ranks philosophy of objectivism, but that is incorrect as objectivism only opposes forced
charity.
Not according to the little.
Well, not what charity means also.
Yeah, maybe it can.
I don't think that's an oxymoron.
I don't think you can have it.
You're thinking of robbery.
It's all right.
Well, I'll tell you what you might think that nothing happening can't have a conclusion,
but we're going to prove you wrong.
Incorrect.
Just on the other side of this break, we're going to break down all the wrapped through the
alphabet and started using Greek letters like the National Hurricane Center at the end
of the season list actors that are at little shrug three.
Who is John Gulf?
That's true.
Lulululul doing billionaire stuff.
Billionaire stuff is my favorite stuff.
Mr. Bezos, who are you?
What are you doing here?
My name is Eli Galt,
and I represent a place that believes that men like you
deserve more.
You do?
Yes, we're tired of the moochers who ride our coattails place that believes that men like you deserve more. You do? Yes.
We're tired of the moochers who ride our coattails and we're ready to invite you to join
us.
Mochers, exactly, I'm it.
I thought you might be Mr. Bezos.
Here's your teleportation device.
This is a gun.
Yes, it does look like that, but that's merely so the common moocher doesn't recognize
its power.
Simply put that under your chin, pull the trigger and you'll be transported at last to
a place where you'll be treated like the leader of men that you know you are.
I don't know.
It really looks like a gun, like really.
I mean, look, Mr. Bezos, if you want to spend your life supporting others through your
taxes, giving and giving, you go ahead and give me back my teleporter, but if you know
what you deserve, you'll pull that trigger.
You know what?
And that's for an arrow.
Pay up.
I can't believe this is working.
Bill Gates didn't even let me finish explaining what it was.
I know.
It's true.
He didn't.
Okay.
You guys want to do Muscle out.
Let's do Muscle.
I said we are saving him for last.
I want to do him now.
We know you do, buddy.
We know.
We all do.
We all do.
Now.
Careful.
Dude, we are being careful.
Yeah.
Hey, guys, damn, what happened to you, Heath?
Oh, yeah.
Hey, Noah.
So I was running at the gym, you know, my, my usual gym run that I do saw a pretty girl
walking to play.
It's not, it's not the point.
So I'm running like I normally do because I like fitness and my headphone falls out.
So I try to bend down to pick it up without breaking stride.
And yeah, well, I got my arm stuck in my butt.
Right.
Because of the treadmill.
Because of the treadmill?
Yep, exactly.
Well, Heath, why don't you just try a pair
of Raycon wireless earbuds?
What are Raycon wireless earbuds?
Really, Cecil?
Now, you know that right now.
Sorry, I just want to be Thomas this year. No, it's a spare. I get it. Raycon wireless earbuds are the best
way to bring audio with you because no matter how much you shake things up, literally
no matter how much you shake, you know, they won't fall out of your ears. Okay, but what
if I'm at the next treadmill over and I want to hear the high pitch squealing of a man
with an arm up. I was not squealing. I was, I had requested assistance very urgently.
I feel like you're saying it's squealing.
So there's also an awareness mode for when you need to listen to your surroundings.
So you can take radcons with you wherever you go.
I wear my headphones when I walk, when I do stuff around the house, even when I'm juggling
and they always stay put.
How's the battery life though?
radcons offer eight hours of playtime and a 32 hour battery life
and their price just right. You get quality audio and half the price of other premium
audio brands. All right, you know what? I'm in. Where can I get a pair? Right now,
God of the movies, listeners can get 15% off their Raycon orders and buy Raycon.com slash
scam. That's buyraycon.com slash scam. Just say 15% on Raycon's buyraycon.com slash
scam. All right, let's get you to the hospital. Yeah,
let's go to same parts. They're way cooler about when we get stuff stuck up
or pro. It's true. They are way cooler about that.
You guys ads are weird.
This is real. Yeah.
Very funny because it's true.
And we're back for the breakdown. We're going to open up at the 20th
century motor company
on, I guess Thursday, this Thursday,
the title screen says,
day after tomorrow.
We'll pull it so it's day after tomorrow.
This is a flashback.
Yeah.
So they're flashing back to the day after tomorrow.
From later.
The movie's already really confused.
Yeah.
So, but we start this whole movie off
on the meeting where John Galt's company decided
to be a communist company and he walked out.
Yeah.
And it's, look, it was bad when they described it to us
in the last movie, but actually acting out the guy saying,
and obviously those who need more will be paid more
in him being like, over my dead body.
Well, as does his stupid little line about I will stop the motor of the world.
Yeah, that's not by the way how employee ownership works.
Employee ownership is awesome.
I know.
And it just means everybody makes more on average and fucking boss makes less.
That's all it means idiots.
And also they don't know how to business is work, right?
So like if I design something for a business,
it's not like I just, I just say,
well I just designed that.
I get to take literally all my parts that I used
while I was here all the time
and just walk out the door with it.
No, I designed it while I was there.
It's gotta stay here.
You hate me to design it while I was here.
Right. I wanted everybody to know that. I'd be like, oh, he's leaving. Cool. So we get all
those. All right. So free energy for everybody and it's low cost.
Now, make more money when we do this employee. He's up there. Yes. Exactly. Great.
And of course, this is John Dolt. So the audience as he walks out goes, has to go like,
who was that? Who is this mass band without a mask? And who is he? He's working at a
flower factory. We just watch him scooping heaps into his pants. This is my, I made it.
This one's, I get to take all the cereal I made.
And I kept looking at John Galt. This is his first reveal, right? This is the reveal of
who John Galt is in these movies. We haven't seen his face for like whatever 25 hours we watched the other two, whatever however long that was. We haven't
seen his actual face. He's been covered in shadow the whole time. This is the first time
we've seen his face clearly a new actor, right? Because they've chose different actors
each time because it's hidden in shadow. It doesn't matter. Yeah. This guy looks like he
could easily be the singer in a praise band and any of the other movies that I was watching
100% could be the singer in a praise band and any of the other movies that I was watching.
100% could be the singer in a praise band.
Oh, absolutely.
He's also directly coming from a shampoo commercial in 1990.
Sure.
Sure is.
Yes.
That's what he just did.
Like a part plus commercial.
Yeah.
His hair is great.
And I doubt he had any fuss to be fair.
But let's go.
Yeah, sure.
I hate him.
You ever see those things that are like But let's go. Yeah, sure. I hate him.
You ever see those things that are like, here's celebrities with their stunt men.
He looks like a stunt man for Jim Kovizel.
Okay.
Like you're like, oh, but if you were a little more handsome, you could have been Jim Kovizel,
but you're not.
Hey, the car while we roll it, he played this, this actor played handsome man and Wonder
Woman 84, damn it.
He sure did.
So, and then of course we were introduced to this shit narrator that cuts into, like,
kind of catches up on the movie, you know, the society's gone to hell and now we use
trains basically.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's basically the world collapse because one guy didn't give two week notice.
Yeah, right.
Exactly.
The whole world's in the shitter now because John Galt is locked off his job. And I love the source material that they're stuck with here because like in 1957,
you could sell and now America's factories, we're all shutting down as apocalyptic, but that doesn't
work in 2014, right? Because you'd be like, well, yeah, they're already, what are you, we're a
service economy, you're really, it's more of a data economy now. Either way, now or in 1957, boat transportation wouldn't stop working because one guy
left his job at a motor company. And also, literally, the reason the boat transportation is a
problem in their universe is a goddamn pirate that they created not socialism. It's so dumb.
Right after this, they're like, and there's a pirate actually. Also Cecil pirate pirate promise you there will be a pirate. Here's our pirate who doesn't
take anything. He just wounds ships and then leaves. Apparently,
any like a run on side of really. He rises all the copper that he takes.
Yeah, exactly. He like goes slowly across and keys the side of it and then he just drives away.
Exactly. He like goes slowly across and keys the side of it and then he just drives away. Catching release. Yeah. Catching release pirates waiting in the middle of the ocean.
Dress this in iceberg. Yeah. He's putting sugar in their gas tank and jumping over board
real quick and running off. And of course, the narrators telling us, you know, and as the
world was falling apart, we all look back and thought, hey, you think it was that
guy who had his like Jerry McGuire freak on his way out of the 20th century motor.
You think it's his fault that everything in the world is turned to shit.
And we were and everybody was like, what's stupid?
Why the fuck would it be that?
What a dumb thing to think.
I worked at a Quiznos in high school and a guy quick halfway through the training because
he wasn't allowed to call it the black ainess sandwich and every time there's a terrorist
attack and Zimbabwe.
I wonder if it is black a
And to be clear, with the exception of introducing us to Dagnia, James and Dan
Coney, the three minutes and 30 second intro to this movie has told us literally everything
that happened in the first two films. Yeah, absolutely right. Yeah, we didn't have to
do that. Why did we do it? Why did we watch all that? Yeah. No, I'm really want to know
like I would put Todd and Cara San Maria in
it.
Hopefully.
I love to this. There's this great moment where they have to like sort of introduce
us to the new versions of the actors from the last two years.
Yeah.
Remember, they're very quickly like, remember this guy, huh? This is Alice Wyatt. Fuck you.
This is Alice.
Yes, he is. And we see him. He has a diploma
from Wyatt oil on the wall. He gave himself a diploma in oil, having what's crazy.
It's an honorary degree too. It's a year. So you didn't even do the course work at
Wyatt oil university. It's not even like a real certificate.
Like you just gave it to yourself.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
My professor was a real asshole.
Blanc is over in a picture of himself.
Yeah.
And then of course, all right.
So then we get the plane crash from the end and beginning of the last movie.
I'm thinking myself, holy shit, this exact same plane crash has been the beginning or
end of half of these three movies.
Right?
Yeah.
We paid literally dozens of dollars for this footage.
They're getting there.
You sat of it.
Yeah.
And so this is also where we learned that apparently poor man's Samantha Mathis is a thing.
I didn't never would have guessed.
I wrote my God.
That plane crashed in terrible things to her face.
Yes. Samantha Mathis. I was like, Oh, she was in that terrible things to her face. Yeah. Samantha Mathis.
I was like, Oh, she was in that shitty movie, Broken Arrow.
This one I was like, I don't know.
I've never, I don't know.
I've never, I don't know.
Any of the slash in this and probably nothing ever again since time.
Yeah.
Like many of the people who worked on these movies.
Yeah.
So John Galt comes together like at the end of the last one and she's like, what happened?
And he's like, well, you see that really bad CGI above us.
That's like a wakandan force field thing.
We're not going to be super clear on it.
But we, uh, we stole that from the footage of the Scarlet Witch.
So if you could not tell anybody, I love to that.
At this point, she literally just got into a plane crash. Her face is bloody.
She's lying on her back and John Gulch just walks up, folds her in half and carries her
to the heart. Like, you don't move people. What is wrong with you? You don't just pick
them up and shake them. Like, what the fuck? He's like, don't move. You could be seriously
injured. I'll move you instead. What?
So are you a doctor? No, I'm just checking your arm. Your arm's good. I'm move you instead. What? So are you a doctor? No, I'm just checking your arm.
Your arm's good. I'm picking you up.
And you're fine.
And you're near.
Yes.
Really wanted him to pick her up and she's like been in pain.
I also have a thing. It comes loose. She just starts pouring blood.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, damn it. Why didn't we think of ambulances? We're all genius.
Medical. Do you have a good A.M.O? Because this is
you have to pay for all of a set of boxes.
Mostly out of pocket here.
Mostly out of pocket here.
Yeah.
And I love too that like as he's like folding her in half and like dragging her to the
car and then he throws her in the back seat, this other guy who's standing there and this
is Mulligan.
This is my to smoligan turns and was like, Hey, why don't you guys come over for dinner
to an Emily's shirt.
Like don't make dinner plans.
I don't care.
How good your gazpacho is, bro.
The fuck?
Really a Holocaust reference, Cecil?
Offensive.
Anti-Semitic.
I sympathized very strongly with Midas Smoligan here, right?
Where you're talking to a friend, you're about to make evening plans and then they get
like a call that grandma died and you're like, right, but okay, but I've already know how
much chili to make.
Oh my gosh.
What a terrible loss for you.
Still.
So yeah, he did not want to buy.
So he takes her to his house in the valley, John Gaultas. My music note here is store brand
Cinderella is about the clean of cottage. Also, gnomes are making sandwiches. I'm pretty
sure. Yeah. Music is quite certain that both the thing around me. Yeah. I guess as long as they
don't reuse that music later, I enjoyed that. Who doesn't want gnomes making sandwiches while you're fucking look, we have to.
We only get so much royalty free music for this budget. So this is the, they have, and it's so
funny because they have John galt carrying or everywhere because I guess it's romantic or manly
or whatever, but he's just like, he's carrying her way too much and too often. He's just like,
oh, let me carry you from this chair
over to this one.
I think you got more light on this one.
She needed like an easy to carry handle in a certain way.
Like, yes, right, right.
Like one of those no-tubs, a detergent or whatever.
Right, yeah, those things at Costco,
they give you that's just like a piece of tape
that you can craft.
Yeah.
So it's not on either side of her.
Put it on shoulder blades and drags her around the house. I'm gonna charge you for this, by the way, yeah.
So I also, this is always wonderful when someone has to draw the like utopia, but they fucking
suck.
So we realize now that they've left the world of, you know, the Ritz Carlton and luxury
because these are all millionaires to live in the third nicest cabins at bare mountain.
Yes, they owned the bus.
Right.
Absolutely.
Oh, and so he gets it, but the world's greatest, I'm assuming number one neurosurgeon
in the world is there.
He's with their doctor and he's got a magical tricorder device that they also have,
in case there wasn't enough magical technology
in this story for you yet.
Well, he would have invented it before.
Yes.
You would have invented it before in the real universe, this amazing device that can diagnose
literally anything by waving it next to you.
There was a little bit of red tape.
Right.
It couldn't do it.
So, you know, go fuck yourself.
Jesus, they have too many regulations about human medical test subjects
said I ran 12 years after the Holocaust.
Yeah.
Yikes, that is correct on the timeline.
What the fuck?
That's a extra, that's a next story, Yikes.
I also, he's a neurologist.
So I really wanted him to walk in
and for them to do like, well, doctor,
what's wrong with her? And I'm afraid I'm gonna be like, I have no idea, I'm a neurologist, so I really wanted him to walk in and for them to do like well, doctor, what's wrong with her?
And I'm feeling like I have no idea.
I'm a neurologist.
I'm a neurosurgeon.
He's a neurosurgeon.
Not even a neurologist.
I can cut your axon, but I just guessed it feels like more you're broken on your arm
and that's more of an orthopedic.
Is it like a howie?
Is it howie?
He's working on it and he gets a call. He's like, are we? Is it, are we?
Cool.
He's working on her and he gets a call.
He's like, yeah, I'll come over
and check out your horse after I'm done.
I'm like, he only doves or what?
Like that's something the only guy here.
It's a good thing I have this magical,
extreme machine.
Because otherwise I'd be fucked, right?
If you guys had to,
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, but she's fine.
It was a very light plane crash.
It was a plane crash.
She just fell from the sky and an aeroplane, but no, she's fine. She's got a bit of a,
bit of a busted ankle and a nose bleed that they won't wipe off. Why would it took? Yeah.
It took 25 minutes to the movie to wipe off this giant clock clock. But it's so gross.
Just wipe it off.
What are you doing?
It's the little nosebleed.
Now, I drove all the way home.
Yeah.
Then they had a conversation.
Yeah.
And then they hung out for a while.
And then finally, in between scenes, it gets wiped off.
Yeah.
I needed somebody to just reach over me like this is gross.
I'm wiping it.
lick their finger like your mom.
Yeah.
Right.
And then, and then they argue and discuss who's going to fucking pay this neurosurgeon
for his time because paradise has medical debt.
Oh, Jesus.
We only take gold.
She actually takes gold to blue.
She's like, I will pay out a pocket for this.
I do not accept the, you know, averaging out of medical risk across a large population
that is.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
It's so dumb.
I really wanted them to accidentally walk into health insurance.
It's like, oh, well, obviously I don't have any gold yet.
It's fine.
I'll pay for you now.
And then you know, if we all chipped in like shit and
bull piece of shit, we have to sell the kitchen universal health care again.
Just pay me a small amount of gold each month and make sure we reimburse your bills.
I forget we're supposed to let you die and then do a big study and blame preschool.
Right.
That's what we're supposed to do rap music to.
So and then he puts her in this room to like recover or whatever and she says to him,
she's like, am I your guest or your prisoner?
And he goes, well, that choice is yours.
And I'm like, no, that's been prisoner.
If I have to say it's the answer is prisoner then creepier.
She says, why should I trust you?
And he quietly looks at her and doesn't say
that if that ever happens to you audience trust me you will be putting lotion on your body from the
bottom of a well-edged hour. Correct Cecil. Karen, before you'll get the hose. Yeah so Yeah, so I trust you and then you close the door like Lucille blue with
Get the fuck out of here. Oh Jesus. Okay, on the plus side if that ever happens to you, you just met Heathen right so that's fun.
From the podcast you like.
So meanwhile, the high school biology video guy trying to inject drama into photosynthesis narrator
chimes in again. Oh God.
To explain that the poverty apocalypse is still going full swing outside of the movie.
Right. Oh, they bring up ragged.
Narrow. The pirate again. More pirate stuff. So, okay, so there's this cargo ship that
tipped over right. It's over by where I live. It's my next surprise with George.
They bought some fucking footage of that
and God damn it, they are gonna get a lot of use
out of there.
Tipped over.
Carrying shit.
They're gonna use stills, they're gonna use video.
They're gonna use it all, man.
You know what socialists do?
They put everything on the left of the ship.
Tipped over.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Why would that have anything to do with any of this?
It looks like Ragnar slits tires on one side.
You know what I mean?
He's gay now.
Well, that's what happens when you key it.
See, so these heaters, they keep it on the right side.
The other side flips out because it's lighter now.
Just working around it in a circle with a can opener
on a little thing.
Just go around it in and off in circles.
It'll start spinning and it'll just sink right
down.
So yeah, so then fucking Dagnie goes to a house party.
That's a scene in the movie.
This house brings the fucking, this is the millionaire paradise and they have paper bag lanterns.
Yeah, they do.
They do.
To be clear, like the greatest paper bag lantern guy in the world.
Fucking Valley. Absolutely. Who's building these houses?
He founded Yankee candle.
There's also a bartender at this party. Which means John Gault was like, I like the world's greatest
bartender. Yeah. Right. So and and everybody has to like take turns going up to her and
explaining why they came to millionaires, gold, shlippered, terrorist stand or whatever.
Midas says he left because the government was forcing him to be a bad banker. And the
neurosurgeon said that he left because the government was forcing him to be a bad doctor and on and on.
He wanted laissez-faire medicine.
Just I want to revisit that concept.
Yeah, he didn't like regulations about medicine.
Yes.
Doctors should be able to do whatever they want and call it medicine.
This movie.
Yeah.
This movie and your aunt on Facebook.
This political party, yes.
Not do your own research, do your own surgery.
Just fucking make it up.
Are you crazy?
Right.
I love too that Midas is an explanation is that, you know, I loan money to people who
could only pay it back and people were very mad at me and I'm like, dude, do you even
pay attention to the housing crisis? They were fucking shooting money out of a fucking t-shirt gun to anybody
who wanted to do it.
And they chugged it all into making low-risk stocks and they fucking ruined everything.
What the fuck? Because there wasn't enough regulation.
Yes, because they live only at meanalones where you like could just fucking be like is he alive? Maybe okay, I'll take the money
This is my most Mulligan president of bear sturns
What's happening here?
God exactly, but me what so John Gold is just giving Danny the hard sell
I'm being a selfish piece of shit and living with them and selfish piece of shit land
And she's like well, what about all the stuff that you left behind and they they're like, we didn't leave anything behind. I'm like, you set fire to the
oil wells and knew up the mines. You fucking ass. Yes, you did. Literally everything that's
not in this cabin, you left behind. Yeah. And they're like, no, see, we went on strike.
And I'm like, no, this is, this is a tantrum.
Strikes have demands and shit.
You said yourself that you have no demands.
Yes.
This whole movie is about the fact that you want nothing.
Right.
There's no ransom without a hostage that's how it works.
I'm moving myself hostage to me with my greatest asset, my mind.
Well, and then you're like, and you're thinking to yourself that they can't possibly be hostage to me with my greatest asset, my mind.
And then you're like, and you're thinking to yourself, they can't possibly be this
blatantly ass hole-ish, can they?
And then they're like, you know what else sucks is charity.
You know what the, yep.
This scene was crazy.
I expected Bizarro Superman to wander through and be like me uncomfortable. This is it.
It's it's this giant dinner party and everybody's like we each have a medium sized libertarian
speech for you, Dagnia.
One by one, we've lined up.
I John Gallet will be first, Midas is next.
You just every shush.
And I'm going to stop talking to listen to them each give a little
shitty speech today, which to be fair, like a libertarian paradise is definitely mansplaining
in turn.
The only pretty woman in your secret valley.
Oh, man. I just want to talk about charity for a second though. This is the thing that
I just makes me crazy whenever you hear this comment where people like, what about charity? I'm a libertarian, but I think, you know,
if you want to give the charity great, but you know, it shouldn't be forced to give the
charity in it. And the one thing I want to say is like, if charity was going to work,
it could have fixed everything already. It would have worked yesterday. It had every
fucking opportunity to work and it hasn't fucking worked at asshole because nobody gives
enough to fix everything. Yeah, even in their crazy shitty fantasy movie, right, where they get to make all the rules.
We have now had four sci-fi inventions.
They were like, oh, so you all give to charity.
No, we hide in a valley and don't give it to anybody, including you, a person who we
want to live here, even we couldn't be bothered to give you charity. Right.
For a second.
Yes.
For a second we were like, you're gonna wash dishes for your fucking medical care.
Yeah.
But they all give each other charity constantly because you have to.
Right.
Because it's impossible not to.
It would be yes.
So, and also, okay, we have to address the fact that Ellis Wyatt, the new actor that
plays Ellis Wyatt, the oil man that set shit on fire in the first movie,
is dressed like Eli was putting together a costume for his live show in Houston.
100%.
100%.
100%.
This ridiculous cowboy at a dinner theater outfit that he's got going, like, we're supposed
to take this seriously the entire fucking time.
He's like Eli in Roadhouse instead of Sam.
Yeah. fucking tie. He's like Eli in Roadhouse instead of Sam. Have you ever gone to a historical
place that isn't one of the famous ones like Kettysburg, but they have a historical
reenactment? It's like, well, here in Mayo, New Jersey, you might know a thing or two
about the four-legged stool. But um, This is the actor who dies of heroin the first.
Yes.
But the tank needs like, but isn't this philosophy terrible?
And won't a lot of people die because of it?
And they're like, yeah, but not you, you're better than everybody else too.
So it won't matter to you.
We left because we're not, we're CEOs and we're not getting the recognition we deserve.
That's all I'm saying.
Okay, seriously though, that's what happened.
That's what happened.
They all say, well done, Dagnit.
They do because nobody said that to them.
So they quit the world.
Yep.
And then they all take turns patting her on the back one by one.
Yeah.
And then themselves.
Yeah.
Dutch runner. Are we doing Dutch runner? Everything. No, circle jerk is charity. We're not doing it.
It's it's it's cooperative. Oh, yeah.
I heard it. Yep. There you go.
We have a commune. So then the narrator cuts in to tell us that there's a steel shortage
and Ragnar has taken more copper. That's terrible pirate, right? And like the narrator at this point might as well be going like,
at that, I'm page 569,
um, uh, right now pirate, um,
getting stared at by a panel and Dr. Phil,
dude, you're not helping me.
Oh, so just be clear, how is this pirate?
This is, it's one guy named Ragnar, Daneskill.
He's stealing all the copper in the world.
Apparently.
Does he have a navy of all like how big do they think the water part is?
What if you just put the world half the copper and one ship and half in another?
Have you guys thought it?
It's fucked.
He just has a can opener.
It takes him forever.
You could just have the one ship would just go around while he was doing the one.
I ran would write something to make him allow to be in like two spaces
at one time. Right. Yes. It's like, I would have been no problem. I reinvented a quantum.
Yeah. Right. Yeah. There you go. So, okay. So then we cut back to the valley where John
Galt is asking, Dagnia, to stay with them for one month to decide if she wants to live there.
But first rule, you can't give anyone a gift of any kind ever.
So she'll have to earn money for that month.
Just to be clear, they have a rule in their Valley of Freedom.
They have more than one rule actually.
Oh, yes, a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,
very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,
very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,
very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,
very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, But okay, but this played like she he was going to ask her for head though, right?
He's like, of course, she'll have to earn your.
No question.
Yeah.
I cannot believe that this book wasn't written by a man.
Right.
Like, at this point, if I had been reading this book and I and Rand was in the room, I would
be like, I would be doing the like 80s comedy, tear open the dress to reveal a penis because
it's impossible.
This wasn't written by a man.
Well, through me office,
he had a pizza box in his lap the whole time.
And I was like, come on, come on, man.
You're gonna open the pizza box, right?
I have a question.
It's a tiny moment.
Why does she poop his nipple at the end of the day?
I see a button.
It's a button.
She fixes a button for him.
I wonder this for so goddamn long. She fixes a button for him. I've wondered this
for so goddamn long. I that okay. It makes she know whoops his nipple. She boops his little
button thing. It's it makes she reaches over and touches the loose button. Okay. See so
it's just see so explain. Explain it. It's much more accurate to me. Let me say what
happened in my head in my head. He was like, and of course, we all learn everything. And
we must earn our pay. He just reaches over and gives him like a little
nipple flick just like a more of that where that came from. But she agrees to be his maid.
Yes. Right. She's like, I'll be your maid for a month. And he's like, sure, why the fuck
not boot my nipple and let's get going. So anyway, so speaking of which they end up at this
lit this fucking libertarian market. We're about to meet Ragnar the god damn pirate. Oh my god,
this is the best. It's just they meet. They see this. They see the world's greatest pirate. And
he's like, I'm the world's greatest pirates just looking checking the butternut squash. Sometimes they sell fresh cilantro in this aisle. Sometimes even
pirates need butter to squash. I was scratching the bottom of the canelops and smelling them.
Leave me alone. So I guess, I was a back in the back.
You guys bend a lot of farmers markets.
Like if you never, never.
So many fucking farmers, many for you.
He's your farmer market guy.
I'm a yeah, I know.
Okay, you bend.
Okay, can you tell me is this like because he's only recruiting the best in the world.
Does this look like the best farmers market in the world?
Did he go out?
It's a shit farmers market and it it was like four carts, man.
No, there's like one type of pepper,
one type of apple, go fuck yourself.
This is supposed to be like a paradise of libertarian thought.
Think of a second pepper assholes.
Think of a supermarket.
Think of a fucking somebody, think of Jesus Christ.
Fucking idiots.
It looks like a Russian supermarket,
which is like, it looks like the opposite of
their philosophy, whatever.
It looks like someone asked the libertarian to dress a set with French vegetables that
are expensive.
Yeah.
You can space those apples out.
Dude, I have nine apples.
I can't space them out.
We're going to put them on the crack cart later.
So just put the whole peppers right there on a platter and we're gonna eat those. So. And this is of course where we learned that ragnar the pirate is reverse robin hood.
He's reversed robin. He steals the things that have been seized for the good of the the many
and gives them back to the billionaires. Right. And he's very, and what's great is these governments make that really convenient.
And they put all that on one ship.
It is nice of that, yeah, to separate out the seas.
They just put all that on one ship.
And then they label it very nice so he can find it in the water.
Why do we call the ship the SS Looter?
We should maybe, that maybe his mistake really wanted a flash cut of him bringing a barrel
of raw oil to someone's
door. There you go. I told you I wouldn't let him steal it from you.
There's 60 tons of copper ore. I got in the truck over here.
So and then of course that we have the the woman there that is she just kind of leans into the scene
and says, I joined this billionaire secret society because I wanted a homeschool my kids.
And we're like, that's fine.
That's fine, lady.
She's the greatest Christian movie character in the world.
What is she?
Okay, question.
What do children provide the,
do these children have jobs?
Oh, shit.
Be like there might be a movie size.
Well, there are mood chairs as what they are.
They should be murdered.
But maybe there's a burgeoning film business there who knows.
Yeah.
Cut out those kids like a cancer, right?
Exactly.
Read an ethics.
And then the narrator butts in like a kid trying to tell you a joke to tell us that the
fucking tagger bridge just turned a hundred, right?
And he says it's America's most important railway bridge.
And look, what is with the ridiculous superlatives in this movie? What is America's most important
rail bridge? You guys have any idea? There's not a fucking thing. Who was the wild card seeded
that bracket? I remember it was a weird scene. It's definitely weird.
But anyway, so that narration resolves into a high level board of colluters meeting.
This includes Mr. Thompson, the head of a state, as though president was like, couldn't,
they couldn't get the rights to the term president.
Were they not allowed to say president?
I don't say no.
No, president once.
No, they say how to state.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They always say head of state. Was this like
Antio mama where they're trying to like make some sort of like dig at him? I have no fucking idea.
So, so they're having their little meeting where they're like boi ha haing about, you know,
helping the last fortunate. And they also, they're like, oh, and you know, what'll be interesting
later, there'll be a reveal regarding project. F, I can't say no more.
In act one, I can say no more.
Look, it's not the most disappointing revelation in the movie because we just saw an overweight
middle aged pirate squeezing the pair.
Well, because it was right.
Yeah, right.
Only because Ragnar was also there pirates.
My heart though.
The parent hit with my heart.
Well, I don't know, man,
but maybe the most disappointing reveal
is the one that comes immediately after that.
This is where we meet Kuffy.
So Kuffy Megs is the head of the railroad unification
program, the evil government institute
that's gonna nationalize the railroads.
You know, God forbid, we could end up as communist
as Japan.
Tch. T've got for bed. We could end up as communist as Japan. And then we all paused and thought about coffee migs for quite a while, but anyway, so
we did.
I feel like didn't it seem like they said his name in the scene like nine more times than
the more than it was necessary.
Yeah.
Everybody's just like, so coffee migs is right here.
Coffee migs.
Why don't we all say your name
out loud around the table. I get it because we all have that friend who's got a terrible name,
and you have to say it a bunch of times while making hard eye contact with everyone else.
So they don't accidentally make a joke about it. Sorry, you said elf by accident, and I literally
met somebody named elf recently, and I was warned. I was like, you're going
to meet somebody named Elf soon. And I was like, okay, I'm not going to laugh. And it
was like, this is my husband named Elf. And I was like, yeah, hello. My wife has a friend
named Basil. And the first time I met them for like 20 minutes, my wife's like Basil
always goes to the store. Don't you, Basil, while making hard-eyed. So I mean, does it be
like, is there a husband named Salantro? They were just doing that for coffee. I get it. Just like a
week name though. I like the end of it. It's fucking with you. So okay. So that night at the
valley, John Gold is giving Dagnia a bootstrap speech about her grandpa and his gumption when he
started that railroad back in 1907 or
whatever. And she's like, oh, everybody has fun, uh, libertarian speeches. I love these.
This is so many of them. This is great. I'm going to stay here. Yeah. For sure. Yeah.
He's like, you should join our asshole club. And she's like, but I love my railroad. And
she's like, they see that's weird though, right?
You get it.
It's weird.
Okay.
See, this is where the movie started to come together for me because I have not understood
Dagnese motivation for out these three movies, but it really came together here where I
realized she's literally in love with railroads.
Okay.
All right.
Yes.
Yes.
That makes a lot of movies make sense. Make a lot of the soundtracks make sense at least. Yeah.
So yeah, but so then John Gold does gonna take her to the to the power plant that runs the entire valley and they're coming to be like, this is my magic engine. You know, two movies we've been building this up. She's like, cool. I bet we'll see it.
Ha and he's like, no, no, we want. No, no, no. And on their way, he's like, now this engine by itself could power
the entire West coast, but fuck the entire West coast. Fuck the West coast up his ass.
But it doesn't because I'm the worst. What? Yes. I'm in a snit. Say the credo out loud with me, these are my crayons. Yeah, to get into the fucking power plant, they have like, there's, there's speak friend
and enter except for instead of friends, I will never be charitable and fuck all the
mooters who want my tax money, right?
That's their home like creed. It's so stupid. The door can't open unless you
say those dumb words. Oh my god. I solemnly swear that I'm really up to no good. Like genuinely
no good. None. She is. Also, just to be clear about the economy of this place, he provides
unlimited power to the doctor and the fruit stand guy.
Is that what's happened?
And then they pay him in gold.
Yes, because he didn't want paper money for that.
And they literally have to hand each other piles of gold every day.
Yeah, it's a very difficult system.
They spend most of their day moving gold across the
really useful to have paper money, really.
You know who's making the most money?
The Fanny Pax salesman in the valley is fucking crushing.
Jesus.
So, but she's not ready to say the asshole creed yet.
So she can't go in and see the engine.
And the movie is like, the movie is like, that's why we're not showing it to you, by the
way, is because she's not ready to say it's totally in there.
There's a bit bad ass looking engine in there. We just can not showing it to you, by the way, it's because she's not ready to say it's totally in there. There's a bit bad ass looking engine in there.
We just can't show it to you.
It's in this port of John if they open the door.
And then we get this little montage of her and John go, I guess falling in love.
I didn't know what it was a montage of until they showed her laughing at the end.
And I'm like, oh, falling in love.
Okay.
Well, it's very confusing because it's like,
oh, this is a, they're shaking hands with construction guys.
Okay.
They're waxing a canoe.
Is this romantic?
Are they romantically waxing a canoe?
And shaking hands with construction guys.
And yes, it is because this is commerce.
And that's sexy.
Oh, God.
Take your rights. That's what they're doing.
Yeah.
They have dinner and at the meal, there's an ice sculpture that I believe is of them fucking
and I just want to say that's a bold fucking move.
Yeah.
Also, they have an ice sculpture guy in the valley.
What the best ice sculpture guy in the world.
The greatest us two fucking ice sculpture guy in the Valley. The best sculpture guy in the world. The greatest us two fucking ice sculpture guy in the world.
How many ice sculptures is equal to one cold fusion machine in terms of the economics here?
And how many, like, how much business is the guy getting? I think,
I feel like everybody's just going and getting ice sculptures. They don't really need
just to keep him there, you know? Sure. It's like, what the fuck am I even doing here?
I don't understand the concert pianist is so loud.
Well, there's two women and zero black people in the valley.
It's tricky.
Yeah.
The demographics of it all is the wax and gold.
How much do you have to buy the wax for the canoe in gold?
How much does that cost?
All right.
Well, I'll tell you what, I feel like Cecil needs a minute to come to terms with the fact
that that's all the pirate we're going to get.
So we're going to pause for a quick break.
We'll be back in a flash with even more at least shrugged.
Who is John Gaults?
Just disappointing his own.
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy.
And then I'm going to be like, what do you think, Harvey? And the doctor will be like, oh, okay, this guy online therapy. And then I'm gonna be like, what do you think, Harvey?
And the doctor will be like, oh, okay, this guy needs therapy.
Dude, again, it's not necessary.
Hey guys, have you seen my colored pencils?
Oh, and did I have now?
I put them all up on those, see?
Oh, why?
Well, I'm trying to get into therapy, but I know that therapy only takes crazy people,
so I'm acting crazy.
You felt like you weren't acting crazy enough.
Exactly what I said.
Look, Eli, why don't you just try better health?
What's better health?
We talk about better health a lot on this show.
In this month, we're discussing some of the stigmas around mental health.
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All right.
Well, I guess I don't need to act so crazy then.
All right, can I have my colored pencils back now then?
No, now this is a thing for me.
Yeah, okay.
And this tag knee is our market.
My goodness, John, it's huge.
Yes, these people are selling what they want
for the price they can get.
The way it's meant to be, Alfred here sells the best apples you'll ever taste. Don't you, Alfred? I sure do, Mr. Galt.
And Christine here makes butter croissants that will knock your socks off.
Oh, Mr. Galt, you're too kind.
And what about these other stalls?
Oh, them. They sell child porn.
Oh, you know, it turns out that when people are talking about not wanting regulation and
capitalist freedom, they almost always mean child porn like pretty much all the time.
I see.
Well, I, well, I guess in the name of freedom, it's important that people get to sell child porn.
Yep, that is the conclusion our beliefs lead to exactly.
Right.
Right.
I'll also sell child porn.
Not now, Alfred.
Well, I'm just saying.
I do.
Do you want some?
I feel like you were leaning. No.
And we're back for more of this shit. We're going to rejoin the inaction with Francisco
Dan Coneo setting up his new minds. They're in the valley. He's going to mind new copper here.
Yeah. So they're just now getting metal in the back.
Which makes those cabins really fucking impressive.
Let me tell you why I'm the gold coins.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
All these are the best miners too.
Right.
Yes.
The top miner's the best smelter.
But that's the thing.
Who came there to be a miner?
Right.
Who decided to get?
Yeah.
Okay. Well, at least I'm not paying into the social safety net.
Am I right?
What? I descended to the earth for my seventh shift in a row.
God, like, my daughter in a libertarian paradise system was terrifying possible job.
Jesus Christ. And of course, Dagnese shows up and she says, well, you know what, you really need
here as a train. It could go over here and over there. What am I thinking? I'm just, I'm already
trying to solve your train list list problems. I just can't help myself, right? And
they're like, well, thank you. That'd be great. We could even loan you the money
to move it. And I'm like, who are you? Tom fucking nook? You're gonna load me the
money to move into the place you want me to move to fuck you. So John
Galt looks more problematic than he already did, which is hard to pull off.
He's got fucking aviator sunglasses on now.
And his nipples are all perked up from the booping maybe or the button thing, whatever
seesaw said, he looks like a spokesmodel for unmarked vans in this the rest of the world.
Yeah.
He's terrifying.
Mm-hmm.
And I love to that they have to like tell you that three weeks of her month have
gone by now, right? So they have friends. Let's go go enjoy your last week. Dagnia, that montage
was three weeks long, three weeks montage. It was curious. I love there a solution to like she
comes up with this mining solution, but the mining solution requires them to like build an entire
brand new thing blast a tunnel build a
dress all make it it's like way like a huge workaround. I'm like we're already
getting shit out of the mind, Dagnia calm the fuck down. Why don't you just
steal copper? You have the world's greatest fucking pirate right there. Yeah.
Right. Chuck gun with the world greatest pirate and steal yourself some copper
and come back. We're good. Minecart carnage. Yeah. It's just did he come. We have it. Right. Yeah. That was the best con in the world for mine carts.
I don't know that I'm ready to call Ditty the best. Wow. Really? Well, it comes to mine carts.
Yeah. We're in a fight. And then, okay, so then she has to have a chat with Ned Ryerson
about libertarianism. It's so to Steve to allow skis in this. I don't know how they got
him. He's a real actor. Yep. Okay. So here's the thing that you need to know about this
scene. There is a bad shit crazy amount of pollen in the air. I thought it was bugs
in person's pollen. It's like there's a fallout. They're like next to her noble up in this shit. It's hilarious. Steven
Tabloski, bless his fucking heart is trying to give this speech. And obviously there's shit
going all up in his nose and his mouth, the whole fucking time. And he just powers through
it.
It's rough.
They're also drinking his very own estate grown Cabernet. He plays
philosopher slash diner cook, Mr. Axton. And that's yes, right. It's hard to keep track of
because he's the third actor playing that character. So I took my second to remember.
But yes, he in the valley is their wine guy. So he's grown brand new Colorado mountains,
Cabernet, the drinking and it says, is state grown, which means they're not using grapes
for many other like real wineries in wine region. That's bad. You shouldn't emphasize
that you have a state grown Cabernet from your shitty place that doesn't
grow wine.
It's so bad that they don't even notice that it's filled with pollen, right?
They're just like, they're buying and spying.
It's like a lily pad in the drink at the end of the day.
It's insane.
People don't know.
You can actually make wine from pairs.
Yeah, it's really sweet.
But of course, the whole speech that
he's given is about how being greedy as awesome and taxation is theft and some assholes
think humans deserve to survive based only on our shared humanity. That's the one
lie. Look, this actor is doing his absolute best, but you can see him sounding it out. A lot of people think that people have a right to live because they're human beings.
No.
I say no.
That's it.
That's the end of the line.
And then the narrator cuts in to help Ned Ryerson out, right?
He comes in and he's like, also, I forgot to mention earlier,
we were talking about Thompson.
I meant to say that he was going to have a big speech later.
It's a big speech to ask him.
The fucking narrator from super friends would tell him to work on his goddamn
segment.
Meanwhile, he literally says meanwhile in one of these fucking things he does.
So the Duke boys are getting into a real bond with the Nagan.
I also, we have to talk about that this narration is also being used to get rid of Henry
Reardon, who if we'll remember is the love interest in the first two movies, but because
I'm Rand is a horny 12 year old writing libertarian fan fiction, she was like, then he met an even harder guy.
Oh, it was like a man.
And then the first guy was like, that's okay.
You go make sweet nipple up to him now.
But I'm not in the movie.
No more.
Yeah.
We never see Hank is like they couldn't get the rights to this character or something right
there like they say well and Hank kept looking for Dagnia and we see an airplane flying back
and forth overhead like it's just doing donuts right there.
And this is when Ragnar reveals his super X mutant in power of being able to sit on the
ground look up and go, hey, that's Hank Rear. He just knows who's in the plane.
And then the other guy walks up, he's like, yeah, I know.
Like, he's like, both?
No, that it's Hank Rear.
Right, like, you check the license plate.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, he's flying around like a Koopa Troop, but it's probably him.
He knows a ballpark where we are.
Koopa Troop, Bob, us like, what?
He is totally fine.
If you look at him, he stops.
It's like the ghost. It's cool. I could tell you who's in any plane. And also I can eat
two foot long subway sandwiches right now. Like most people just eat more. I can make
a boat lean to the left. So far, I tip sober. So weird. That's just me holding on to it.
Yeah. It's related to the subsay, which is punch me in the stomach right now. Oh my god
Right, I vomited. I didn't see I thought you weren't gonna wait. Is that an unchewed subway?
Are you gonna eat that? I wanted to call it a black ainess on my first day
They wouldn't let me
Call it a black anus on my first day. They wouldn't let me.
That's why I'm a pirate.
That's why I stole all the world's copper.
So that night, Dagnia's up.
She's looking for a snack.
John Stardols are as she's checking the fridge.
She's just a scared.
She's terrifying police to stay.
Where the guys just quietly sitting in the fucking, just sitting there all night, just sitting
there. And you come down
You're like, oh man, let's look maybe to get some fucking somebody you open up a thing
He's like and he's like there's nothing in the
Dark room like that you fucking lunatic. I need to put a bell around your neck
That's ridiculous and then his fucking answers even creepier because he's like She's like, what are you doing? He's like I've been watching you. That's ridiculous. And then his fucking answers even creepier.
Cause he's like, what are you doing?
He's like, I've been watching you.
That's literally his answer.
Yes, right.
And then they both stand there like,
what, like wondering what this scene is for?
They show it, they show us that in a flashback.
He's like, I spied on you in a rail tunnel.
Right.
I wanted to fuck your shaw.
And they show us that.
And she's like, nice.
She's miles and that's the end.
Fuck them see.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yikes.
It's like, you ever, you ever have a friend who's a lady
and she is with a guy who's gross.
And he makes a gross statement and
you can see that that's what she's into and you do all of a sudden have to be like,
ah, that's why monster energy had his hairy sucks or toes.
That's what this whole third movie is.
It's just like, I get it.
I ran wanted to be followed down a mining tunnel and she had to write an 800 page book about
it.
It's 1200.
But Dagnie can't stay. Dagnie is desperate to save the bridge that she loves.
Yes, very important bridge.
Yep.
Again, my fan theory, making this movie really makes sense.
Get on board.
Yeah.
And then she's like, I think I'm going to leave.
And John Gult is like, all right, well, there are a couple of conditions on your departure.
And I'm like, are there really?
Yep.
You think you can just do that?
You have another rule in your Valley of Freedom.
Promise I won't tell on you?
Is that seriously?
That's the other rule in your Valley of Freedom.
Okay.
I really want her to be like, okay, but if I don't tell on you,
isn't that living for someone else? And he's like, oh shit.
Shout out.
I just, I didn't even pay you not to tell.
So, okay, so this is the next day.
She's leaving the secret valley on their spare air point.
I love this.
He's, this is so fucking dumb.
He's like, I have to blindfold you so you won't know where you are.
It's like, I flew here though.
Yeah.
Okay.
What? Like, so you can't see the streets we take in the sky.
I think air geography works.
Was it just me?
Did you guys think he was going to ask her to fly away with a blindfold on?
I thought he was going to ask her to fly the plane with a blindfold on.
And if she does, then she could stay, right?
Right? Right. Yeah, there you go. And if she does it, she could stay right now.
I'm gonna miss you.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, there you go.
So, Danny gets back to New York, which the narrator explains at length, the narrate,
this is where he literally uses the word meanwhile.
He says meanwhile several Reardon steel workers died defending a mill from communists or
some dumb shit sponsored union thugs. He gets so excited when he says government sponsored union thugs.
That's right.
They had jack boots.
I don't know what that means, but I'm pretty sure they had jack boots.
So dumb, but you get spachos.
That's a union mill now.
Right.
That's good.
We like society has vibranium now.
And that's a union mill. It's all positive's good. Society has vibranium now, and that's a union mill.
It's all positive.
Hooray.
That they left.
For us, also we learned that the weed ain't moving.
So everything is so simplistic.
The guns and the butter aren't moving now, right?
And we also, we have to meet the SSI director.
Now this character, of course, he's been in all three movies, always played by a different actor. And he's the scientist that, you know, declared
that Reardon steel was no good, but he's, he's been feeling bad about that ever since.
And he's been slowly coming around to the position that may be perverting science for
the sake of the government isn't a good idea, right? Yeah. So, but he's meeting with
evil government guy, the, I never caught this character's name,
who's like, I have front bald guy with the long hair. Oh, yes, Robert Stadler, I think. Okay. Sure.
Yeah, the one that looks like a Victorian ghost back. Okay. That guy. Yeah. He looks like an extra
in the background of a bad guy seen in a Harry Potter movie. Yes. Absolutely. Yeah. He looks like an extra in the background of a bad guy seen in a Harry Potter movie.
Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely. He's like nodding fervently while Voldemort talks.
I said, don't be dad or something. Yeah. Yeah. But the regional assistant manager to
Voldemort. Yeah. That guy is the Vigo the Carpathian very much does. Yeah. All right.
Add space on his head there. I like that at this point in the, he gets
up from his dinner of what appears to be a single egg and the, the waiters, like brush
him down like a horse. Yeah. I mean, he's a socialist bureaucrat. So, you know, he gets,
so he gets brushed off by a union, uh, inefficient union brush your team. And that's really
why the trains aren't working.
And that's why we don't have copper.
It's like the thing is, you remember, you like,
you see the videos in like the 50s
when you would pull up to a gas station,
they'd all run out and start like doing your windows
and check in your tires.
It's like that.
It's so silly.
And so.
He's on a jacket one point.
There's a spinning around.
Crazy.
Stop, stop.
He's just doing this thing on the side of my face. That's nothing. I don't have a, like point, there's a spinning around crazy. Stop, stop. You're just doing this thing on the side of my face.
That's nothing.
I don't have a nut there.
It reminded me of like what poor people think happens to rich people.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what I thought it was was like somebody's never ever had a like a luxury experience
in their life.
And this is what they do at the Apple B's.
And they're just like, no, that's what happens in luxury experience.
Like that's it.
That's whatever I imagine.
Whenever Donald Trump is done eating his well done gold coverage steak, there's a fancy
man who comes over with a shoe brush and, all right, that much is it all over his body.
That's like that's like 90% chance that that's true.
That's true.
That's got a diet coke button.
What do we tell you?
Yeah, right.
Exactly.
But what they, apparently what the evil Victorian ghost needs, Figo the Carpathian is for
the evil, the scientists guy SSI guy to sign off on project F, which is looks suspiciously
like an instrument to torture.
Well, doesn't look like an instrument.
It looks like so.
No, how did you know that that was an instrument of course?
You're seeing a panel with a chair next to it.
That was just the remote control for it, man.
Yes, right.
Why did you know that, really?
Just to use their interface.
It doesn't say, like, torture up on the side.
The tortureometer 2000?
It looks like a video game machine
Noah's excited about.
It's 100% already.
100% 100%. Absolutely. absolutely cannot look anything like anything.
You know, you know, you know, we made 150 days.
Right.
Board game from the 80s man.
That's what it looks like.
A magnifox waterboard.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's in one.
I love to.
This is how bad the writers are.
The scientists goes, what if I refuse and the writer doesn't have anything for the other guy to say?
So he just stands there and then the dude signs. He like makes a whistling sound with his nose for a minute.
He's like, all right, whatever. Make a whistling.
So you're going to be knowing and I'm to sign this.
This fuck. Glow your nose. Jesus Christ. Also happening in there.
It's just a tiny moment,
but he's holding it's a floppy piece of paper. So when he goes to sign it, he ends up with this
fucking Madison caught Thorne signature. Mr. Sion. Can you can you bend over? I'll do this on your back.
It's been it's not. Yes, I will torture. I love that the horrible, autocratic government is just one signature away from shutting down.
Yeah. Like if they don't get this one signature, all is lost. There's no, and there's no way to
force the guys that were just like looking at them. No, man, come on. Well, no swissling tends to do
the trick. Yeah. Come on, man. So, okay. Meanwhile, back at Taggart International,
man. So, okay. Meanwhile, back at Taggart International, Dagnie comes in and like bitches at Jim for the state of the railroad. You know, it's like for nobody taking care of shit when she
was off in the secret valley for a month. Yeah. And she explains to him that they need
to get trans to Minnesota to quote, move the harvests. Otherwise, everyone will starve. Why does she care about starving people now?
I thought that like her whole thing was like, she doesn't give a shit. The whole movie is about not
caring about starving people. I don't, I guess she hasn't made the turn yet is what it is. So she
still has. Yeah, okay. Bigger than a, because John Gult certainly won't fucking care about him.
Like, nope, nobody in the movie will care about him. No, like then nobody cares. I don't understand why this is even a plot point.
John Golt starved them. If you, if you follow the plot, yeah. So, and this is how stupidly
written this movie is, right? Like they have their little fight. She storms out. And then
they, like the next scene is him coming to find her to tell her about a fancy dinner.
They have to go to together. We have a dinner later.
Are you stormed out too soon? I had another line.
You fucking idiots have him say that before she storms out.
You dumb bastards.
Really wanted to storm out of the room into a room that he's standing in.
We had a dinner party with the Johnson's.
If you want to storm back into the other room.
But yes, but so he goes to this dinner.
This is the fucking smoke filled back room or whatever where they're all, all the colluters
have gotten together to decide that they're going to sacrifice Minnesota for the greater
good.
Oh God, this is so fucking good because what this is, right?
This is Ein Rand who like smelled a history book once. And so she's,
she's aware that there was something with a lack of food and Stalinist Russia. So she's pretty sure
they just like sat around and they were like, so you kill this many people and Ein Rand was like,
that's what they do. I put it in a book. Yep. Sometimes they flip a coin and that state is not a state no
marsh. Well, yeah, and Dany's sitting there going like you're going to kill Minnesota, isn't
that where all the food is? And they're like, fuck, none of us. Literally none of us thought
of that. You are the first one to realize that there's food there. And then they have
the whole like, you know, they all have to talk about how bad it is. The one guy's like,
well, California has threatened to secede from the union.
And Oregon is overrun by gangs who murder all the tax collectors.
Okay.
Just, just be clear, the socialist government would be telling trains to go get the wheat
to help feed the beat.
That's what would be happening because that's what socialism would be.
The free market solution for transportation networks is murder train fucking thunder dome.
That's it.
No one was talking about here.
Unless, of course, all the libertarians took everybody who was smart enough not to know
that electrolytes are what plants really need with them when they went, right?
That the entire premise of the movie undercuts the premise of the fucking movie. So stupid.
And then all the socialist badgains are like,
okay, yeah, so we're removing the Minnesota cancer
from United States.
So what do we cheers?
Are you serious?
Cheers, cheers, cheers.
Cheers it.
And they're like, yeah, cheers it.
Well, yeah, because Dagnia gets a call from Eddie, right?
And they're like, important trade stuff.
And she's like, important trade stuff.
I got to run and they're like, oh, good.
She was a bit of a wet blanket
on this destroying Minnesota conversation. Anyway, everybody think coffee.
Show me cheers. I'd like you to say out my entire name. Yeah. Hey, can we just go around and
just instead of each of us, say our name, can we just all say coffees? There you go. You like
to all do it? You know what I was thinking? Instead of what if instead of cheers, we just say
coffee mix every time. We say, coffee mix. Every time. We just say, coffee migs every time.
Coffee migs.
Coffee migs.
So, so she rushes off to the train station to see what all the fuss is about.
And it turns out that because of the copper shortage, all the electricity in their national
rail line has gone out.
Why wouldn't it be, like, what if, aren't they using the same electricity as everyone else?
No, that's for the train electricity.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Well, yeah, but they can't get the trains in
because the systems,
all of the switching systems have gone down
because of the bad electricity, right?
And they can't find the systems engineer
because he's been taken to John Gaul Valley.
What will they do?
Did the pirate like take a can opener to all their existing wires too because it seems
like they already built this part, right?
He took all the copper wire and he's out there stealing catalytic converters at night.
Well, no, you got to feed it copper every day.
It's like, no man, Scott, you got to feed it.
That is true.
Yep.
Yeah. So,
so but she's going to take care of business, dammit. They need lanterns and colored cellophane
quick. Oh, they do without her. She wouldn't, they like, nobody would know to do that. If
the CEO didn't show up in her fucking shawl, right? She gathers around, imagine the fucking balls to think that you're gonna gather around all these fucking smudgy
train workers in your evening gown and your pearl necklace to be like, all right, gentlemen,
let's say Christmas, what's it for all?
And her fucking editor, she's like, okay, so we're gonna start with a little crafting,
a little crafting, we're gonna have you guys all go stand where the switches are with a red lantern and a green lantern.
I'm like without a like, how are they communicating? They have no electricity.
Okay, so we'll say red for red and green. Oh, the trains all crashed.
All of them crashed.
We still have
to communicate. And of course, as she's doing this, she looks down and John Golt is in
the crowd pretending to be a railhand smudgy John Golt. Yes. Okay. Okay. But this actor
did not agree to get too smudgy. Right. Like the makeup people came over and they put
a smudge on him. He was like, that's enough. That's enough. Okay. I didn't play handsome guy and Wonder Woman 84. Let's
not mess up the merchandise if you know what I'm saying. Yeah. So she's like, oh, John
Gult. So she runs off to this like weird basement place where homeless people go to shit.
Well, she's scampers off being like,
Oh, don't follow me into this tunnel.
This is not my king.
I don't want to get railed on the rail.
Yeah.
She doesn't run.
She jog walks for sure.
100% jog walks.
Yeah.
She scampers and and John scampers after and they fuck to this music.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
the best part is her clear in the table off though because she runs in and she throws
everything off the table and then spins herself around and I 100% wanted to be like a
whole Thanksgiving table.
So she walked in and she just pulls the tablecloth out, she's like, and the flower, she's still standing.
Yeah.
Fucking amazing.
Oh, it's, but it's like somebody's work bench.
It's like all of their plans and shit.
She doesn't give a fuck.
They just pan over to some guy who's also be like,
are you serious right now?
He's just, my fucking, I'm here.
It's got his thermos out, yes.
What the fuck? I'm doing the crossword. I'm like four feet away.
I'm on my 15 lady. Oh, guys, I'm about to solve the word. But if you get a week
wait for me to finish the word, oh, before you do your weird rich person, fuck, I'm a table.
So yeah, so then they fucked to the soundtrack, the soundtrack I had as, but then the kids decided to make their own Christmas decorations, but they're fucking to it.
Yeah. And mid-sexing, mid-fucking, we cut to an old conductor going, well, darn it, their manual train signals do work.
They were just fine. And then we go back for more fucking, and then back to fucking directly back to fucking from the
whole
boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop
with this music play do you
Are you
Sir with the crossword are you put is that on your phone?
We have this baseball organ for me to help make with the world. Okay. All right. Now make sense. It's like number six on the Casio.
Yes. So, John, I still, let's still do it. Talk dirty to me.
Chicago smilting.
Friedman.
Supply meets demand.
All right. Well, I'll tell you what, if there has been any consistent thread through these
movies, it's that act to ends with, but then they managed to train after all. So with that in
mind, we're going to take ourselves a quick break. But first, let me give Act three the hard
cell. Why bother having a pirate if all you're going to do with him is have somebody run
into him in a fucking farmer's market. Thank you. How would this be different if he'd been
say a florist or a CPA, right? Could this would not get the rights to the character of Hank
Reardon? By now, the answer is to nothing a sane person would have bothered to ask in the first place
when we return for the mockish conclusion of Atlus Shrun.
Who is John Goats?
And then you can just spread the marrow on the cheese to.
We have to go, right?
Yeah, that actually sounds really good.
Hey guys.
Hey, you like?
Is everything okay?
I mean, for me, yes, but guys, I got some bad news for you.
I quit the podcast.
You want?
I know, I know, but it's much fun as we've had
making fun of these movies.
I've realized that I too am John Gaul and I can no longer
allow society. And by society, I mean you mooch off my most valuable asset, my mind,
a mind which built the very company on which you all stand. Okay. Well, first of all, heath
and I started the company and invited you to join. Yeah. And I have a grown up job.
I work at. Oh, I knew you guys would grasp it straws.
I don't blame you, but I was now earn only by my own hand
and ask no man to live but for me.
No, I mean, we, I guess we understand
where you're gonna go and where you headed.
I don't know, somewhere to make my fate with my mind.
Sure, yeah, make your fate.
You're not gonna use roads though, right? At all.
Roads.
The government made the roads, so other people.
Oh, right, yeah, no, I will not be using the roads.
I shall take to the woods at first.
Well, so actually most of the woods in the continental United States
anyway are maintained by the government.
What?
Yeah.
Huh.
Okay, well, I'll take to woods that aren't overseen
by any government.
Sure, sure.
But just quick thing, also your clothes were made using
like trade deals and they were delivered
by the Postal Service.
Okay, okay, okay.
And then you know what, this is ridiculous.
I don't want to give up all the stuff I have.
I just want to stop giving back.
What is that?
Is there a word for someone who wants to use society
and the social safety net until they feel like it would be better for them to personally
not give back?
What's that thing called?
Yeah, man, that's called an asshole.
Asshole.
Yep.
Oh.
Am I an asshole?
It seems like it, man.
Yeah.
Look like it.
Did you just say your greatest gift
is your mind like moments ago?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I saw you lick a magazine the other day.
It smelled good.
How did it taste?
Bad, yeah.
Magazine.
A lot of sample.
Okay, well, I can send it back as undeliverable
because I don't need that many friendship bracelets.
No, I didn't order, I didn't order any of these.
Hey, Ely.
Who's Ely?
It's me, Tom, the best fit.
Bulgaria is a third woo.
Okay, first of all, Tom knows who you are.
So he wouldn't say who's Ely.
Also, you're very clearly not Tom.
You just build your shirt with balloons and dyed your hair.
Is that pink?
Did you dye your hair pink?
Ricky's was out of red, but I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm Tom and these are my muscles.
I mean, look, I'm not trying to indulge this, but if you want to get in shape, why don't
you try FitBod?
What's FitBud?
FitBud's innovative algorithm learns your goals and your training abilities and crafts
a personalized training regimen that's unique to you.
Or hypothetically to a person whose identity you wanted to assume.
I mean, I guess so.
You also have access to your personalized routine on their easy to use mobile apps.
You can start making progress on your goals anytime, anywhere.
It's true.
I've been using FitBud to do some workouts at home and it changes your workouts as you
go so you never get bored.
No, what are you doing here?
Oh, Eli, heavy dress up as Tom's wife in case he wasn't selling it hard enough.
Well, I admittedly you look great, right?
I think I might keep these shorts.
So kick the new year off right and get started on your customized fitness plan from Fitbot
Get 25% off your membership when you sign up now and fitbot dot me slash game. That's 25% off your membership at fitbot dot me slash game
Sounds good. You ready to drop the act now you like I'm not either I'm Tom. I'm scared of computers
Okay, maybe your Tom and and maybe I'm Tom's wife. Definitely not definitely
not. Oh man. And we're back for the ninth, ninth of this dumbass movie. And we're going
to rejoin the action with the narrator. Oh, by the way, his way through some major
plot points, right? This is like, Oh, and Hank, Ruden, the, uh, the spirit into the Valley. Um, and also remember Jim's wife.
Guys, remember Cheryl?
Nobody cares.
Nobody cares.
Yeah.
They spent so much time.
It's like, we have not seen Cheryl in all in this movie.
They're like, but eventually she realized that Jim was a fraud.
And that stuff that she was saying to Dagnie in the second movie, she apologized.
And then he killed her. Yes.
And then they got a sepia divorce right afterwards.
It was very nice.
A sepia murder though.
Like they strongly suggested either he murdered her or that she killed herself after this.
I don't, they never specify, right?
Yeah, somebody calls James up and they're like, hey, sorry, your wife died.
And he's like, it wasn't me. I didn't murder her. I think I was like, what?
Yeah, I love that you say somebody, coffee calls, if it's coffee man.
Yeah. Wait, who was it? I was a gentleman by the name of coffee migs. You may have heard
of him. It's from New York. Wow. A great deal. Cuffle for tea.
video. Cuffle for tea. No way. And I also had copy immediately after these like, yeah, sorry about your wife. And he's like, I didn't murder or he's like, I didn't say you
did. He's like, good. And he goes, speaking to your dad, but then the conversation
segue, he goes, speaking to your dad, wife, your sister's not bored with the evil government
train speech, right? That the head of state is going to give later in the movie.
And she's like, yeah, sure.
Yep.
So I got a right.
Just want to check on the dead wife and that.
Uh, coffee before I let you go, do you know how to dissolve a body and
acid?
Cause I feel like a sword on TV.
But we're turns out the head, the skull is just man.
Woo.
Look, I got to let you go.
My, my post egg is coming. I'm sorry. I got to let you go. My, my poached egg is coming.
I'm sorry, I gotta, I gotta let you go.
I called you at the breakfast table.
I got it.
So, sorry, the grapefruit express showed up.
I gotta go, guys.
I gotta get, get the stock of wheat.
It's really dry.
And, more like coffee mix, am I right?
And then by the way, we flashback, we spend like seven minutes flashing back to Cheryl
finding out the gyms of fraud and arguing with them about who did start the John Gauntline and who didn't apologize to Dagnie?
Dagnie, forget it.
We're like, we don't care.
It would be basically impossible for us to care.
Show us a goddamn pirate.
I will murder you.
Nope, they don't trust her.
So, okay, now it's time for Thompson's big speech.
And Dagnie is apparently going to sit next
to him for this speech because, you know, America's just not going to approve of his ideas
if he's not accompanied by the most trusted railroad mogul in all the land.
Is the number one train person in the world. I will not listen to his speech unless he is flanked.
I believe by a cartoon child and the head of all the railroads.
The trace lady, not even the head though. She's the COO Jim Taggart is the head of the company.
But, but yeah, so they're about to do the speech in the last second. She's like, you know what? Fuck it.
I'm not even in this scene.
They're like, I could have sworn you were in this scene.
She storms out.
She stops by Jim on her way out the fucking door.
And she's like, by the way, your dead wife deserves better than you, Jim.
I'm like, wow.
We don't even know like harsh lady.
Ouch.
I'll tell the corpse that when I get home.
And I'm thinking to myself,
oh, so you just swapped Jim in, right?
He sits next to the president instead.
They're completely lost.
They don't know what the fuck did him.
No idea.
No idea.
There's no producer in the room.
There's not a producer in there.
They pull the chair off and he's trying to scooch over.
Yeah.
I really wanted a long squeaky chair.
Secretly, it's just so amazing.
So amazing. So amazing.
So yeah, so he's about to give his speech anyway.
And damn it, if John goat doesn't take over the air waves for a second, it's black.
For a second, the screen is black and I'm like, please be max hydrant.
Please be max hydrant.
It's not.
No, John goat. John, this is so stupid. This is his giant fucking speech. He takes somehow
he hacks the TV cast of all America. He hacks something. Yep. And his stupid fucking face
pops onto the screen, but he's in like a dark room so you can't see his backlit.
Face at first, except for some electric zaps.
I was genuinely expecting him to be like,
oh, sorry, they're telling me I'm not in my light.
Is this better?
You know what I mean?
Yeah, what is, so he set up his room to have that happen?
So he would have like the mysterious.
He set up electric zaps in his own room
with like full stuff to short out. So he'd have like be. He set up electric zaps in his own room. Like full stuff to short out.
So it'd be like John Galtz.
And of course, this is the infamous 60 page speech that anchors this whole stupid fucking book.
Yeah.
In the book, he goes on for 60 goddamn pages.
I literally walked away from my screen at this.
But I was like, this is a 19 hour speech.
I've read this book.
I'm literally walking away. I walked away. point. I was like, this is a 19 hour speech. I've read this book.
I'm literally walking away.
I walked away.
Yep.
Thank goodness they did the condensed version.
Well, that's the best thing.
They did by a lot.
Is that they condensed this speech, but when you condensed this speech down, it's like,
Hi, my name is John Scott and I ran away with all my cool rich friends.
And if you are fucking putty, I'm putty, and I didn't want to have to show you my axe karate skills,
but here we go.
Kup, kup, kup, kup.
Right.
I wrote a conceptual penis hoax once.
It's really cool.
Here's my axe cutter.
It's awkwardly fast, that doctor feel.
Anyway, if you're the number one ranked person at a thing in the world,
yeah, we have room for like 10 more people,
you know, we have a small valley.
We need a flashlight, guys, seriously.
There's two women.
Yeah, I see you.
So here's the thing, I've never read the speech and I never will.
But like it takes a lot of like, I don't know,
massaging when your point is society doesn't adequately compensate the billionaires.
Yeah. Right. They don't have massaging here. Right. So he has to jump right into his
that like the fuck society portion of his speech. And of course they have to make this work
for the movie. So we see crowds of people gathering around the TV shop windows
in the streets as people are want to do in real life.
Yeah.
All watching the speech together going,
yeah, you know what?
Fuck us right in our stupid asses.
We are stupid and don't deserve to have anything.
Travel, travel.
His conclusion too is like get out of our way.
I'm like bitch, you went to hide.
Fuck you.
How about you get out of our way?
Right.
Yeah.
He's given the whole who's with me speech from Jerry McGuire, all of a sudden.
Yeah.
Again.
Yeah.
And of course you're going like, hey, look, like we just saw the room where the government
is controlling this broadcast.
They could shut it down.
Why wouldn't they just shut it down?
No, they don't.
But then we get to like that, you know, vertical color bars and the long beep when he stops.
So he set up the vertical color.
Cause they don't have that.
This is 2014.
Yeah.
So and of course, immediately after the color bars go off,
we cut to Sean Hannity going, fuck, yes, that was 60 pages of brilliant. Oh, my God, I can't
so hard. I'm Sean. Let me tell you that was fucking great. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I love that.
My favorite part about that whole thing, though, with Sean Hannity is that he's not invited
to the island.
Oh, you're right.
Like Sean Hannity and all these other pundits, like they keep going back though, they're
going to mention another pundit.
And a second, none of those people got invited to the fucking tropical fucking.
You're right.
You're right.
Paradise.
They're all sucking its dick from back in the hell hole.
No, they're furious because Colbert got taken because they didn't know I was satire.
Yeah. The best Ted Cruz. I was John Gotwood insult my wife.
And so yeah, all the government guys gather up together and they're like aggressively pointing out
that them not cutting the broadcast was not a hole in the script.
They would be because if we did that, then we would have made a murder out of him.
Yeah.
Okay.
I guess as long as we don't make a murder out of him in the last turn of the movie, guys
Pinkie swear on this.
No martyrs.
How's that?
There you go.
So yeah, but he wants to make a deal with John
Gold. Press head of the state times. It wants to make a deal with John Gold. And she's
like, well, I don't know where to find him. And they're like, he's she totally knows where
to find him. He was spy on her. There she knows. She's just fucking. Everybody could
follow her. Maybe coffee mix isn't busy. Maybe. Yeah, right. Somebody who doesn't
just follow her on with a magnifying glass. And of course, we have to cut to like all the sheep.
Oh, sure, being woken up by John Galt speech, right?
So like the crowds just are like,
like, spot standing outside of the TV store windows, start chanting, we want
galt to one another.
To the TV.
Right.
Yes, they do.
But they show us the group chanting we want golf. And then they show us John fucking golf
Standing there in that group. So he clearly was like we want golf
Now it's really saying just the drunken guy and a ranger's jersey trying to start a ush chant on the subway
drunken guy and a ranger's jersey trying to start a USA chant on the subway. Okay, that has never failed on a New York subway.
No, you start saying USA, it works.
Oh, Patreon goal.
I'll take you on a subway.
He will fail.
I will read it so hard.
We will be singing any amount of money, any amount of money.
We will be singing America the beautiful by the end of that subway ride altogether, except you in your face. See, I thought that the goal was
that Eli could start it in such a way that people wouldn't join in and that one I would
bet on. Yeah. So yeah, but then we get this, the shot where like the many screens are all
popping up with different people saying, I am John, go and I guarantee you that this
is like everyone
who donated more than a hundred bucks on Kickstarter.
It sure the fuck that's what we're seeing.
Dude with a Bitcoin shirt.
Dude with a Bitcoin shirt.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Literally with the Bitcoin side, saying, I am John God.
Oh, that guy killed himself now.
He is dead.
There you go. Lost lost his money last month.
And then, so shouldn't have listened to character.
And then, so a then fucking Glenn Beck pops in for a talking head cameo.
Right.
Glenn Beck.
And also not on the island.
I forgot how fucking crazy in Glen Bay looks.
He looks like a trader, Owl.
And every time I see him, I'm like,
oh no, that's like an LGBTQ hire
for like Dumbledore or something, right?
That's not Glen.
Back, that's a, that's a time traveling rapist.
He's about to die from COVID.
I'm pretty sure my fingers crossed.
He got COVID for the second time again.
To be refused to vaccine.
And he had to come out and be like, yeah, it's real bad.
It's like into my lungs now.
And I'm like, oh, I'm like very, uh, very unhealthy.
I was expecting.
Now you want to start a chance on a subway die of COVID.
Diglin back.
That would that would work. That was the USA. Absolutely. Yeah. Diglin back. That would have been.
That would have been cast.
That was the USA.
Absolutely.
In New York, especially, I agree.
Yeah.
Competing chance.
So Chicago on the L, you do the USA.
That's happening right away, right?
Right.
On Chicago.
Sure.
You guys are patriotic out there, you know?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah, sure.
Beautiful country out there.
Yeah. Yeah. You folded off, man. Beautiful country out there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Fold it off, man. Nicely done. Thank you.
So meanwhile at the at the White House, everybody said I love the state. They have like several
scenes that are going to happen at the White House now. And everybody's like, there's crowds
outside chanting about their love for John Gault, but they have the chanting way too
loud for the dialogue. Like you could barely tell what's going on for the dialogue because there are people shouting immediately off camera. We will go. We, by the, by the
president's sick of it, he needs to meet with John Colt. Damn it. So this is like, bring
me, Dagnetaggert moment. Oh, this is because I'm ran in 1956, she was writing this, was certain that Dwight Eisenhower was about
to call her because she was that important. So she put this in. I love it so much.
Oh, God, you're right. You're right. Well, this is her meeting with the president and then
going like, well, you should just do what John Golt told you and dismantle the entire
government. Yep. Well, hello there, Dwyght, Eisenhower.
Yep.
I will tell you the only thing I like about Jew is your very normal name.
Dwyght is an hour.
So yeah, but then they offered to pay her to sell out John Galt, and that's where she
storms out.
She storms out of a lot of rooms in this movie, but she's stormed this last room storming out that she's going to do. I like how they try to soft sell it on
it. They're like, look, we don't want to murder him. But if what if someone who said
it, murdered it before you found him for us, how the hell would we even look? We don't
want to murder him, but I can't speak for coffee. So yeah. And so she storms out. And
I love it.
Evil government guy, but be the Carpathian.
He turns to the president and he goes, do you think she's lying?
And then we hear her reach the door and open it.
She is standing in front of them when he's like, do you think we should kill it up?
I'm still in the room, guys.
Murder.
No, I know you're still there.
We're going to murder you.
My eyes are
based on movement hold very still. What are her ears based on?
Awesome movement. We're talking about murder movement you have movement deers?
A bat. A bat sonar. Here when I move one two three go. And then murder. Ron fucking Paul makes a quick talking head, Daniel.
Yeah.
They don't need politicians in the land of libertarians either, by the way.
So he's still here.
Yeah, right now he also didn't get the call yet.
Ron, but Ron Paul named his chial.
I know.
I know.
Yikes.
So meanwhile, Dagnia is frantically trying to find John Gult with her computer.
This is so stupid because I'm like, that's gonna be a tough Google because like, who is
John Gault is the saying?
You can't just Google it.
All right, maybe if I bing it, let it bing it, that's less popular.
You got to duck, look, if you're a libertarian and you want information, you've got to duck,
duck, duck, go, duck, go.
That's the libertarian Google for sure.
So, but it turns out that John
Gold's dumbass, the subuckin master spy secret nobody can figure out who he is. The, who
he is is the saying for an unanswerable question. Signed up for his fake railroad job under his
real goddamn deal name. Yeah. It feels like somebody would have pointed that out. Right? Oh,
you're John go there.
That was asked about you.
He's really dressed on it.
He's just declared for ethics about HR paperwork.
That's the only important, absolutely virtue.
What?
And then she's got a USB drive that has this information on it and then she breaks it
like Donald Trump ripping a paper.
Yes, right.
And flushes it down to toilet.
I was really expecting her to try to eat it.
Just like, oh, he can't sharp.
And, yeah, at least a drink.
Does anybody have any weats to wash this down?
So she goes to the CD apartment that he's staying
and they make out a little bit.
He explains to her that she's been followed.
She's definitely been followed.
And there's very little chance that he can make it out alive. Yes, but you have to live because this is so
fucking funny. I left so hard. He goes, if you die, I will kill myself. That totally does 100%.
So now she has an incentive to not die. That's great. It's great that he gave her that.
That's true. I did enjoy when he nagged her here here for a second though. He's like, so they need me alive because I'm,
you know, amazing. I know everything motor, cold fusion. They'll happily kill you though
trains are it. I mean, that's like a metal track. Everybody knows how there's no trains
work. There's literally a toy for children. I we keep calling you the number one ranked
train. I don't even know what that means. That's so dumb. But they need me because I'm real.
I really have a thing.
But you need to pretend that you hate me
and that you're siding with the government.
Right.
That's the plan here.
And they execute it so badly.
And she's like, oh, I'm sure that there'll be some reason for that that's revealed
at some point later in the script.
She's like, oh, no, no, absolutely.
Yeah, no, no, absolutely.
I'm just saying it was worth because there are a piece of paper that I have to read from.
And then she's and he's like, but maybe there's something that you should see before they
get here.
And she's like, is it the motor?
And he's like, yes.
And she's like, why the fuck would you have that makes no sense at all?
What would it be even doing?
He's paying New York City rent. He's
saving on the utility bill.
He's saving to power his laptop and his studio apartment. Yeah. No, I can run dying like
two on this thing. It's great. I've got the mind and bitcoins as we you're the worst. I can't spend them
though. So he closes the door to
the motor and just then the cops get
there and the cops bust and he's like, I
hate this lady so much and she's like, I
hate this guy so much and the cops
are like, oh, they must really hate each other.
I am so bad.
Do you like her? No. Oh, okay. They I am fooling the dude. So bad. The bed.
Hold on.
Do you like her?
No.
Oh, okay.
They were not.
I don't like him.
Left.
Also, they both said, Yuck, so that's what it is.
You're three and a gone man.
And also, okay, I'm sure that there was something that was supposed to be explained here, but
like the cops start searching the department and one of them breaks into the room with the motor, but he can't
see it because he's not libertarian enough.
Yeah, I thought it disintegrated because if you're a socialist and you walk into a libertarian
motor room, it turns into feathers.
What was it?
I don't know what was supposed to happen.
That's a well known physical principle.
Constructed read a book.
What's great is that John Gault, they break down the door and they're like, nothing in here.
And no, it's full of feathers.
Yeah.
I want John Gault to be like, that's my feather room.
My feather room.
My feather room.
It's next to my tar room.
I go in there first and I come in here.
I assumed that we were eventually good at, so I kept trying to make a better movie.
I assumed that we were eventually going to find out that they put the Wakanda force field
over it or something.
Oh, and then in order to turn it off, you had to say the speech thing, the, the, the, the
oath to selfishness or whatever, right?
Because they kept saying that like, oh, holy shit, that actually, right.
That would be better.
That actually fixed this ridiculous plot.
Oh, yeah.
Right. But they had it in front of them. That actually fixed this ridiculous. Yeah, right. But
I had it in front of them. I was so fucking dumb. But yeah, but it anyway, no, instead it
just disappears or turns into feathers or something. And then we take, they take John
Golt to meet with the head of state. Oh, and this is so fucking stupid. Number one,
it doesn't fucking matter, but number two, it's so fucking stupid. He leaves his phone on, right? Like he's, John goes going into the meeting
and he dials, Dagnese number and just leaves it going. I'm like, oh, yeah, the secret service
would never think of that.
Yeah.
I needed somebody to be like him and just take your pocket, your phone out of your pocket
and put it back in because we can see that you're doing that.
Our eyes are based on motion and you move.
Oh, let me, uh, don't worry, I'll throw them off the scent.
Yuck, I hate this phone.
Well, you did say yucky hate that phone.
Carry on, sir.
But not only is that such a stupid way to make this happen, but it never matters.
There's no reason why it matters that Dagnie hears this conversation.
Yeah, no, right?
That never, she doesn't record it.
She doesn't broadcast. Nothing happens. Learn anything from conversation. Yeah, no, right? Never. She doesn't record it. She doesn't broadcast.
Nothing happened.
Learn anything from it.
Yeah.
She doesn't hack into the entire television.
No, no, no broadcast.
The universe.
Nothing.
Yeah.
She just knows about it.
That's it.
So, right.
So the head of state is there to make a deal with him.
He wants to offer him Wesley Mouches job, right?
Now, Wesley Mouches the czar of the economy in the first two months.
He's the boss of coffee migs.
Yes, he's coffee's the boss.
You would be in charge of coffee migs if you take the shop.
Yeah, direct report.
And this guy's job, by the way, is to like do whatever he wants to the economy with no
oversight.
Why would he not take that job?
Right?
Like he would say, like my first act as my job
is that my job doesn't exist anymore
and then he would win.
Yep.
We already built a bunch of cabins in me.
We made a lot of calls and a lot.
We have so many cool cars.
There's not enough kinds of apples and peppers yet, but we're getting there.
You know, it's nice.
Remember Milton Friedman's kid made the barges?
We did like a Colorado version of that.
And the barges didn't work because that's done, but ours is pretty cool.
I have an 85 wagon here.
Our pirates going through some pre-diabetic screening right now is just not a good time for
some of that.
Yeah, but he won't take it.
They can't buy off John goat, dammit, but they have a laugh off at a certain point.
Oh, yeah, there's a certain point in this where they're negotiating so long.
And then they have a really weird long laugh off and you can tell the guys evil because
he's laughing
through his teeth the whole time.
So they're like, no man, you gotta evil up your laugh.
The director keeps coming in like,
no man, you gotta evil up.
He's like, I don't think I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I that's going on is like whoever laughs the longest
wins and John go out laughs all of them.
Wait, huh?
Yeah.
And so they take him to the state science institute for some torture.
Whew.
So fucking stupid.
Some project.
F if you will.
This is my favorite part of the movie.
Okay.
Just to be clear, they're going gonna torture him for the answer to economics.
Right, they never ask him any questions.
There's no position.
They seem to be trying to change or anything like that.
You're right.
They're torturing him so that they'll have a chance
to tell us what project F is.
They won't, by the way, tell us what project F is.
What would he be able to tell them to stop
and torture? Right.
What was the answer?
I don't know.
They never just dictate the schematics to his energy device while he was being tortured.
I think they didn't ever ask about the energy device.
No, they don't even know about the only day he knows that he had that daggeneen hang
career in.
That's true.
It's so, but that one guy watched the first two movies.
So he might not.
Yeah, right.
Coffee knows. Coffee, probably.
Coffee knows also the fucking narrator cuts in at this point and says, Oh, also, um,
the on page 721, the Tiger Bridge collapsed.
Oh, fuck that just a matter and all does it.
Why am I even telling you this?
A bridge collapse because of too many government.
Too many government regulation.
Just to be clear, way down that old story, they regulated it into destruction, a bridge.
The literal phrasing the narrator uses that the bridge finally, quote, surrendered to regulation.
Wait, did they actually say that?
Yes, yes.
That was the term fucking yikes.
He's less of a narrator now as he is like a hardcore
star Trek fan who won't stop whispering in your ear about it. No, that costume was actually designed.
Stop. You guys don't know this, but he's actually the number one pianist in the whole world.
It doesn't this show is bad and I'm watching it for you. Stop whispering in my ear.
bad and I'm watching it for you. Stop with bringing my hair. So yeah, so we cut back the Dagnia. Francisco is rushed to her side to be with her in her moment of need or whatever.
He paid the $40 a gallon gas prices for the taxi. How the hell do these guys stay in business?
I have no. Anyway, but she's ready to take the pledge to selfishness, right?
The pledge of allegiance to the Valley of No Rules.
I just want to be sure, but what they're describing,
that's what they're saying is happening.
Well, and what's so fucking funny is she's like,
I'm ready to live only for myself
and never give a shit about anyone else.
And he's like, great.
And she's like, now let's go save.
Let's go rescue.
John Gulf John, this makes no sense.
We'll negotiate how much he's paying us later.
So yeah, they tell them that Ragnar's helicopter standing This makes no sense. We'll negotiate how much he's paying us later.
So, yeah, they tell him that Ragnar's helicopter standing by, they have to go.
Ragnar's helicopter.
Motherfucker.
If Ragnar had a helicopter, this whole movie and he doesn't even use it till now, why
isn't his bow?
What the fuck, man?
Why don't they have him near water and that Rdoll ship could be nearby, but now if we had just watched ragdoll
struggling up into a helicopter
One of those little
But why don't we just have a little set of steps you could just have them down to me like
I'm a little winded nois
My blood sugar's low. I need an apple winch. I need a subway sandwich
I'm not sure his low, I need an Apple Winch. I need a subway sandwich.
So then they take John Goltz, the project F Torchard device.
Like this is the silliest looking thing.
Who put this, somebody hasted a picture of this thing?
I did.
And I just did it because I wanted you guys to look at it
and be like, that looks like the original
doctor who said.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, if that at wheels, it'd be a dollic.
You know what I mean?
Like, that's fucking what it looks like.
It's a steam punk torture device somehow.
Yeah.
It has a, it's bad cosplay torture device.
That's what it is.
Three digit scoreboard.
Yeah.
Torture units.
I know. I said, you know, how many years you took
off their life, Heath? That's what that's for. Oh, I see. Yes. There's a red light and
a green light and a red yellow blue light. There's a red and these buttons. These are video
game buttons. These are standard video game buttons that you bought. Yep. These are low kick high kick buttons, my friend.
But they're going to torture with it.
Now, here's the thing.
It has a throttle.
Sorry.
It has a throttle.
It does.
It does.
Why is that so big?
Yeah.
It's why couldn't that just be a switch?
I have, I have another question for you.
Okay.
I get the throttle.
What are all the other buttons? Because there's just on and off, right? They just turn it on and then they turn
it off and they turn it on. Because as far as we can tell, it's just electrocuting it.
Yep. Yep. Right. We, we are never told what project F is. Yeah. They put the silliest
possible cat collar around his neck. This actor,. This actor by the way did not get into the shape he wanted to for this scene.
Like you can just tell he was like, oh, I thought we were doing this scene in like two
weeks.
I'm going to.
I'm on a bowl.
I love lasagna.
And they were like, no, cat collar.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, no, totally.
You're two weeks away from being ripped.
Just suck it in.
Just suck it in the whole time.
Yeah.
Yep.
Three, two, one. suck it in. Okay.
There's also this weird moment where they're like, James Stagger, you have to leave the project
of torture area and he's like, no, I totally want to watch John go to torture.
And they're like, oh, okay.
He says they're really weirdly, too, but like, no, I really want to, like, I want to be
here.
Yeah.
Panning.
What is wrong with you?
I mean, in fairness, same, right?
Yeah, right.
You know, I'm with him.
I got it. I got it. Just a weird delivery. See, for me, it was like, you
ever be in a room and everyone's about to do drugs. And there's a very clear that the
person who's going to ruin it. So you're like, Hey, do you want to fucking leave? And
they're like, No, I fucking love it here. Yeah, let's let a producer snake. And you're
like, ah, Jim, you're kind of killing the mood of this torture. You know, that's you
in the drug rooms, right?
Right.
How dare you?
Lash, you got to me.
Heath cut this.
So they start at their silly electricity machine.
We see now, Dagnie and Francisco and all the other guy.
They're all sneaking in, playing guns like secret agents.
They're sneaking into the government facility, right?
Okay.
I have to talk about the murder scene.
Yes.
This is my favorite part of the whole movie where she goes to the garden.
She's like, hi, I'm supposed to be here.
And he's like, oh, I'm not supposed to let anyone in.
So she pulls a gun on him.
And he's like, I'm just a peon.
I swear, I wasn't supposed to make any decisions.
And she shoots him.
And he's dead.
To be clear, that was the movie being like, sometimes you're going to have to murder
relatively innocent people for our libertarian dream.
Yes, so you know.
Yep.
Well, and I love the guy like the security guard has the weirdest don't shoot me.
He's like, Hey, look, my job description does not include bartering for my life with
billionaire railway, my little I'm going to file a grievance with the union.
You know what?
I'm technically on my 15 right now.
I don't.
So bad. He's not. No, you're not murder what? I'm technically on my 15 right now. I don't. So bad.
No, you're not murder me.
I'm on my, ah, you shot me.
He says, I don't make decisions about my life is what he has.
That's all I want.
He steps down some words.
And then she shoots him in the sleepy time spot.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
This is the silliest death.
Or at least she just shoots him in like the hardish area.
Nothing happens to him.
There's no entry or exit when whatsoever.
And he just kind of falls asleep.
It's the slumping gun.
So we cut back to the torture stuff.
They're still electrocuting away.
But now there's a problem with the machine.
And John Galt has taken the number one through 17 top torture machine repairmen.
Yes.
For the, so they got nobody that can fix the machine.
They're all too dumb. And John go is such an addicted fucking man splinter that he literally tells
them how to fix their torture device. Yep. Yep. He tells them the fuse blew out and then they all
are like, oh, well, we should all go change it. Why don't all of us go? All of us together go find another. It's like a horror movie if we split up.
But fuck, let's just go.
You take James, coffee, can you take James?
We're gonna go.
And then they leave, they leave in slow mo.
And it's so good.
And he turns back and he's like,
we'll be back.
And he took it.
My name is Cuffalty. Oh, good. It's just like it's fucking chef kiss beautiful. It is so amazing. That's senior like,
why did they slow it down? Like someone's like, I just got the new iPhone. You know, like
where you could like make it. It goes. Yeah, right. It sounds so he sounds evil that way
doesn't he? And then and then they leave and John flatlines out of spite. He's like, Oh, I'm going to die
while you guys are going to say like that. He's not a feeling like he's dying. Fucker
ups and dies. Well, he's just hanging out. When people torture you, do they put you on
a device that has the flat line thing? Yeah. That's very important. Yeah. I don't know
that most people do, but I think coffee migs would. I think he
was. He's that kind of guy. He's a perfectionist. Good man. Yeah. But Dagnier runs in just as he
starts flat lighting, right? She's got to do the fucking Trinity thing, right? So she romantically
pledges the oath to never help stupid, gross poor people
It works just to be clear promising to never help poor people wakes John galt up like clapping wakes up tinker
Everybody promise not to help poor people come on
She might as well have him snort a bootstrap like smelling sauce and just snap straight up. Quick, Ronald Reagan trickle your economics down on to him.
So yeah, so he grabs his bootstrap and pulls himself up all the way to Francis goes helicopter.
They landed a helicopter like on the Pentagon, right?
Like they're in like a white house in the Pentagon.
They landed their secret.
Maybe it's an invisible helicopter.
Can they make an helicopter invisible with their name?
Probably, yeah, that was as long as you.
Okay. Yeah, yeah, be first to the door.
Because we can see it in the movie.
Yeah.
And they're also like at this time too, the music is all very patriotic.
It's all that. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, And it's all this suspenseful shit and they're running around with guns. They never shoot anybody. Nothing happens.
No.
At any point, so they get to the helicopter, the head of state shakes his fist at the sky.
And he's very upset.
He pets his cat or whatever.
Get gadget next time.
Oh, yeah.
Right.
And then we cut to Dagnie and galt on the helicopter together.
She says, the lights are so bad.
She says, John, you're my
forever. And I so wanted him to be like, I don't really like labels. I'm not a label.
I'm in the valley. We don't really do. I'm not. This is not this week. I'm this step
of the next. I'm kind of with the girl with the unvaccinated kids.
Come on. You have something going with the steel guy too unvaccinated kids. I don't know if you know, but
I thought you had something going with the steel guy too.
Were you not?
I like her.
I like her.
Chris, maybe you guys do a little bit of the way to look around for some.
Yep.
Cheers.
And then like, I guess, Francisco Dan Coneo looks back into the back seat of the fucking
helicopter and says, guys, we can make a worse closing line than that.
Can't we?
They can though that they're going to quote.
I'm Rand to actually.
Yeah.
Oh, is this really the ending from the book?
This is the part of that speech from the book.
Yes.
This is the dumbest possible ending in all of writing.
You could not write a dumber ending.
Dagnie looks out over the country and the power is all going out because everybody's
too stupid and they don't even know how to run the quizz nose without her. not right at Dumber ending. Dagnie looks out over the country and the power is all going out because everybody's too
stupid and they don't even know how to run the quiz nose without her.
And she goes, it's the end.
And John goes, no, it's the beginning.
It's the beginning of the starving of the masses.
No, yeah, it's the beginning of that.
Really, they just need to change the fuse, but yeah,
I'm gonna get it for us.
We all die because they wouldn't loan you my second perpetual motion machine,
but it's feathers right now.
So I can't, I unfortunately, I can't loan that to you.
And Dan John Garse, no,
Jay Stapagas.
And then they fly away and you can see the statue of liberty in the first guy.
They had a bigger CGI budget.
A bald eagle would have landed on her fucking torches.
Yeah.
As if it's paid away.
God, that was so stupid.
That was amazing.
Oh, all right.
Well, that's it.
We made it to three movies.
Cecil, this is like above and beyond.
Yes, mask.
U.S. Yeah. Who's with you?
Hey, we
know. So Cecil, thank you so much
for hanging out with us for the
last three episodes.
I know the listeners have really
enjoyed it. I know we've really
enjoyed it. I hope that you've
not hated it too much.
These are the worst movies ever
of a scene, but you guys made it
absolutely so much fun.
And thank you so much for
inviting me along.
It's been an absolute pleasure.
Thank you. Awesome. And while that does it for
our review, the Atlas shrugged, that's not going to do it for the episode just yet,
because we still need to lure you and us back in next week. So Eli, tell us what's on
deck. Well, no, it's Valentine's day. And so what could be more lovely than a love story
based on the book of Ozea?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Yes.
So by popular request, we'll be reviewing redeeming love.
Awesome.
So with that, the look forward to, we're going to bring episode 339 to a merciful close.
Once again, a huge thanks to Cecil for three weeks worth of massacres.
And be sure to check the show notes for links to his other projects, the Cognitive Distance podcast
and the season liberally cooking show on YouTube. And perhaps even a huge of thanks to all the Patreon donors that helped make the show notes for links to his other projects, the Cognitive Distance podcast and the season liberally cooking show on YouTube.
And perhaps even huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that helped make the show go.
If you'd like to catch up with me on their ranks, you can make a prepsidination at patreon.com.
slash God awful and thereby earn early access to an ad free version of every episode.
You can also help us a ton by leaving a five star review and by sharing the show on all
your various social media platforms.
And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, the skating a
the aesthetic and D&D minus and the skeptic crowd available wherever podcast live.
If you have questions, comments or send them out as suggestions, you can email God
off on movies and gmail.com, legal services for this podcast, provided by the law, this
is a P.E. editor of T.M. Robinson to discover our social media, our theme song was written
and performed by Rideslot and can be addressed on Mars, all of the music was written and performed
by our audio engineer Martin Clark and was used with permission.
Thanks again for giving us a check in the light this week for Heathen, right, Neely
Lai Bosnick, I'm No Luzon, I promise I don't work hard to earn another check next week
until then.
We'll leave you with a breakfast club close.
John Gault and Clive and Bundy played with rubber dicks for a couple weeks, and then they all got arrested. Yep.
The billionaires and concert pianists lived happily ever after, until somebody's septic tank backed up.
The evil government went on to invent Project G, which was waterboarding with a few extra
toggles.
The deep ab.
John couldn't afford his rescue helicopter, so they kicked it out of the Atlantic.
Yes!
Just like he always wanted.
Like he wouldn't want it.
What do I do?
Hold on.
Is this the only thing that's going to happen?
Yes!
Just like he always wanted. Like he wouldn't want it. What do I do? I hold on. Is this still part of it? Oh no, no, this is like, okay, that
seems like the weird.
Speaker no child porn. And then you spread the mirror on the cheese toast.
That's not mirror.
That's pretty good.
Oh, everybody's going to go silent when I say it's super hot.
It's okay.
Thank you Cecil.
One person.
I'm with you.
Cheers.
So cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
So I love you.
I forgot I was going to say the preceding by guest is production
of puzzle and thunderstorm LLC capy rate 2022. All rights reserved.