God Awful Movies - 342: The 6th Day
Episode Date: March 8, 2022This week, Thomas Smith joins Eli and Heath for a skeptical review of the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic cloning philosophy action thriller The 6th Day. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donati...on and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Check out more Thomas Smith on Opening Arguments and Serious Inquiries Only Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/
Transcript
Discussion (0)
So he calls 911 on a future like screen, Skype phone thing and he gets an automated menu
like a really bad 911 automated menu.
I wrote in my notes in the future 911 puts you on hold and I wrote okay that's also true
it's okay.
Yeah, predicting a lot of stuff.
They might as well have had the bot be like,
hi, you've reached 9-1-1.
Unfortunately, the woke left is defunded us.
So I am a robot who can't help you. Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be How's it going? Oh, okay. So now we're not even friends at all. I see how it is. We let you host the show one time and I lose your friendship.
I said you're the, I didn't say a Eli and Eli Bosnick.
I gave you a definite article.
Noah ranks the friends when he hosts.
Okay.
My second best friend, Eli Bosnick.
There you go.
How dare you?
And we also, you should be happy about two.
A lot of people are mad.
They got to monitor.
I'll take the silver.
You should be happy with silver.
Yes.
We also, sorry about that. Thomas is here too. We also have veteran guest massacres to
head to listen to our little fight just now. He's also an elite level croak and all player.
Yes. Amazing. Thomas Smith is here. Thomas. Thanks for joining us.
Hey, thanks for having me. So happy to be here. Excellent. So Thomas, what are you here to do?
What are we going to be breaking down today? Okay. What are you?
Yeah.
What would you say is you?
Yeah. You tell me. I don't know. Short answer and long answer. Short answer is we watch
the sixth day, which is a story about cloning and how like maybe if you multiply really
stale actors times two, it'll somehow make like a full actor.
A long answer is Eli. I'm going to just go over our text messages, Eli.
Eli asked me, can you do Gam, we're doing this six day with Schwarzenegger.
And I said, oh, fuck yes.
But is that religious in some way?
I don't remember.
And he says it has demons, air go totes religious.
And I said, I don't remember.
I have demons. This is from the year 2000. I watched it around that time. It's like a 14
year old, which is why I really remember the side boob of this movie. That's like the
one memory that stuck in my brain at that time. Don't remember demons. Now here's the funny
part. In a weird way, you were right, Eli. We'll get to it. But there are demons in this
movie. And we're going to get to it. It's a very, wait, still horrifying. There's demon. Did I miss the demons?
Oh, there is a demon. Is this a metaphor? No, there's a demon in this movie. You'll get,
you'll see he's interesting. This movie is definitely anti-Atheist. So it's,
fuck, it counts for sure. Oh, for sure. Yeah. All right. Well, Eli, elaborate a little bit. How bad was this movie?
Well, if you loved total recall, but the plot was way too
sensical and streamlined for you, you will love this movie. Hey, forget episode one.
This is the real attack of the clones, my friends. All right. It is there anything you guys would
like to nominate this one for being the best at being
the worst at?
There is so much.
Sure.
I got to say best worst rule of cool.
Okay.
Cool.
That's, you know, that's a common Schwarzenegger thing.
That's a common kind of 80s, 90s movie for the kids.
You know, you tried for specifically like, you know, me at that age, you like you throwing
the cool toy to sell to whatever.
This has a bunch of that for no fucking reason.
Like we get helicopters that turn into like fucking planes that turn it just for no reason.
It's like they had a movie and then they're like, this sucks.
Can we sell toys out of it maybe?
And so they tried a bunch of things that maybe would be toys, but they don't, they suck.
Did they?
Did they?
I think so. I don't. I
thought no way there was a shit out of that helicopter plane. Like the toys. If there was a
six day line of toys, that's when culture peaked. That's what we did. Well, then you tell
me why the fucking helicopter plane thing with the remote control, it's fucking stupid.
It's the dumbest thing. There's no reason so much better than the transformers. I'm going on record. Just got a text from Andrew. I've been fired from that podcast.
Just being being on the show with you saying that. So okay, I can be wrong about Trump getting a
Trump. All right, I just got a text from Andrew that I'm fired from. How do you do that? Smart lawyer.
All right, I'm going to go with best worst. Go fuck yourself. So there's they
work the line. Go fuck yourself into this movie once. And it's pretty great how they do it.
Oh, this is a clone based movie. So they relate the idea of, oh, if you had a clone yourself,
go fuck yourself. And it's pretty funny. But then they go back and they try to revisit
the line. Yeah. But I think it's a PG 13 movies.
So they were only allowed to use his fuck once.
So they had to incorrectly quote themselves and say it goes through yourself when they call back to it.
Remember when I said something like not exactly.
I said something like something ish to go fuck yourself.
You're totally right.
This exactly was the PG 13 border at that time.
One side boob, kind of a full but for like two seconds is okay and one effort.
You were literally allowed one effort per PG and hit all of it.
Yeah, and it had to be an oblique side boob like a quick, you know, bleak like bad.
You try, I tried to pause it a bunch of times.
I definitely did. Did you catch it? You got the
number back in the day. I mean, when I was 14 and there's nothing. Oh, yeah.
Of course, not, not reason not yesterday. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely didn't.
I also have one other best worst. I'd like to say best worst. My notes are just naming
what happens in the movie. Yeah. Oh my god. That's a lot of it.
I'm just like, and then this is crazy.
It's just the stuff that happened.
The soap and the news.
It sucks when it turns us into the Chris Farley,
and this is Chris Farley show.
Yeah.
Remember that time?
Remember when Arnold, he was like,
you were just flying a helicopter.
You were in the movie.
We're in the room.
Control for no reason.
Remember that?
Broken glass.
That was cool. That was awesome.
Stupid, so stupid idiot. I'm gonna go with best worst practical special effect and look there's a lot of bad special effects in this movie. All right,
but the best one and I think we all know what you're talking about. Someone gets their foot shot off
And it is And I think we all know what you're talking about. Someone gets their foot shot off.
And it is.
It's the silliest thing.
It is pirate costume on Halloween and done by a five year old level bed.
It's fantastic.
It's like the bad magician taking half his thumb off and putting it back to it's like that
level of leg shot with screaming.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, we're going to talk about this movie in a second.
But first, we're going to take a quick break.
And we'll be back with all you need to know about the sixth, which is hard to say day
and sled, check.
Peetons.
Check. Knowing what a peeton is. Oh, definitely not check. petons, check.
Knowing what a peetan is.
Oh, definitely not check.
Yeah, me neither.
What's a peetan?
Hey guys, what's with all the winter gear?
Oh, hey Thomas, we were just gearing up for the secular bonus episode.
We just released for our patrons the day after tomorrow.
Yeah, it's got tidal waves, super cold air that chases people and it even has wolves
that somehow survive all that
stuff so they can attack some people.
Oh my God, that sounds amazing.
Where can I hear that right now?
Great question.
Well, you can pledge as little as a dollar over at patreon.com forward slash God awful.
And you'll get access to all 67 of our secular bonus episodes.
We've done stinkers like Batman versus Superman, the Justice League Snyder Cut, Wonder Woman 84. Also bad movies that were not made by DC. We do some other.
That's right. We did some that aren't made by DC. Yeah. A few. And I can get all that
for as little as a dollar, a show. As little as a dollar, a show, Thomas, you sure can.
Plus, you'll be supporting the show and helping us not starve. Yeah, that too. Patreon.com slash God awful.
That's amazing. I'm going there right now.
Hey, do you guys mind if I mention my Patreon stuff
while I'm here?
Of course, dude. Yeah, I'm saying no problem.
Absolutely. Oh, sweet. Okay.
So there's patreon.com Slack.
And you got to stop eating cheese at midnight.
What? We love midnight cheese.
Our heart does not love it.
I don't believe you.
Heath, what did we say about listening to yourself?
Thomas.
He's lying.
He's lying.
Hey guys, what's up with the two heats?
Oh, hey Thomas.
Heath has a little bit of trouble taking care of himself.
I do.
I cloned him so he talked to himself about the things he needs, like therapy.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Wait, therapy is a part of self-care?
Sure is.
And now it's easier than ever with BetterHelp.
Oh, what's BetterHelp?
Oh, do we get one point or two for that?
How does that work?
I think it should be two points.
I think it should be two.
Close, don't get two points.
We have to fight.
I think it is fine.
Oh, fine, fine.
BetterHelp is online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions with
your therapist.
So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to.
It's more affordable than in person therapy and you could be matched with a therapist
at under 48 hours.
Give it a try and see why over two million people have used better help online therapy.
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and God off of movies listeners get 10% off
their first month at betterhelp.com slash awful.
That's B T T E R at betterhelp.com slash awful. That's B-E-D-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash awful.
All right.
Good stuff.
Wait, why did you need me for this one?
Oh, to keep him from smooching.
It always ends up smooching.
No, it doesn't.
It's that's crazy.
It's crazy.
Or is it?
Is it?
Is it?
You're leaning. I'm leaning. We're leaning. You're a beautiful man. Or is it is it is it?
You're leaning I'm leaning we're leaning
You're a beautiful man. I am we are beautiful men
Told you And we're back and we're gonna start this one off with some scary music
But but it was made on like Mario paint.
So it's more silly.
Oh my God.
I still remember that from the fucking seven.
God is so good.
I wrote down that we open with a music cue that suggests we're being chased by an apple
tooth through an abandoned factory.
Yeah, the Tetris is standing right behind us.
That's what the music is telling
us. And then we get a Bible quote. So this fucking counts. This is absolutely a Christian
movie. The quote is, by the way, God created man in his own image and behold, it was very
good. Blah, blah, blah, something after that. Here's the thing. No, it wasn't good. Like
yeah, that's such a like same age one of the Bible. I'm gross
There's it was not very good. I know I love who's like there's a little bias in that too
Like who are we to believe wrote that sentence?
You know I know like did God write it or did like a human write it
Like one of the early humans who we supposed to think and then they're like all I look look at me
I'm great like
Awesome Moses is just sitting there on the mountain. Okay. So you did all the nature things and you said
it was good. And then you did man. Would you, would you also say that is good?
I would say that is good. All right. I mean, I'm chasing a lot. Are you looking at this?
Desert. I had just go fuck yourself, diarrhea the other day. Would you say that's good?
God, did you say that's good? God, did you
say that's good? That's free will. He's free will to get the fuck you some diarrhea.
You want?
Right. So we get the silly scary music. And what they're setting up is a bunch of news clips
about the state of the universe that we're in. First, they tell us about how we cloned
a sheep, which had actually happened in the 90s when this was made already happened. And
then we see a bunch of stuff about the politics that happened since. So cloning got banned
because they made a clone and it had to be destroyed for some reason. So now it's illegal
to clone human beings in this world. Oh, can I just throw out there real quick that that
was almost my best
worst, which is best worst red herring because they're like, well, you all know what happened
to the close and then they never addressed. No, no. Yeah, exactly. There should be the
end toward the end of the movie. You should get the reveal of like the main disgusting
clone. They have a discussing clone. The end, but they should have made it like, no, this is the first clone. He wasn't actually killed. And he's all gross
or something. You know, isn't that one? Yeah, it's like a fucking Eldinger in villain at
the Perianne person. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Nope. Put that in there for no reason. It's nothing.
Yeah. I was like, Oh, so Schwarzenegger's going to be like somehow magically the clone that got
created, but then he's hidden somewhere and he pops out, whoo, that would be good too.
Nope.
Nothing like that.
Oh, even better, have that clone help.
Schwartz and Igor take down the clone.
Yeah.
I'm an abomination.
I shouldn't be a lot, you know, get a little goonies friendship going.
So we learn about the cloning situation.
And now we fast forward, well, a little bit to the near future. That's what the title card says. So we open
up here on the near future from 1999 when this was made. So like, now the movie is supposed
to be about now, like 20, 22 ballpark. Yeah. I think, right? And now Eli, if you would
like to take a nap, find something to do, Ethan, I'm going to talk about this football
in the 45 minutes.
They're start the start quarterback who doesn't matter at all.
They put in for no reason.
Like it's it's a complete waste of time is Johnny Phoenix.
Okay.
Question.
Why does screen writers lose the ability to think of human names?
The minute they sit down to type like I'm fucking ran.
Yeah. I was gonna say they
went to the Yine Ranch School of naming people. It was quarterback. Coffee mix Johnny Phoenix.
Miss lightning. What? Dave, just use your name. How about we just have it be two. Crave. Two names
is fine. Johnny Phoenix nailed it. Yeah. And here's the funny thing. Isn't okay. Heath will know this.
Isn't Keanu Reeves's character in that surfing movie Johnny Utah or something like that?
Johnny Utah.
Yeah, so is that like there's just like, oh, you just do Johnny plus a place and that's
it.
Johnny Texas, Johnny Kansas, Johnny Florida, Johnny F***ing, we got a million of these.
It's great.
Also, I mean, it's a, I think a metaphor, an amazing metaphor.
He like, a Phoenix rises from the ashes to be created again.
Like, oh, yeah.
Oh, really?
You know what?
I change my mind.
That's a really good writing.
You're great, man.
You're great, man.
Yeah.
You're welcome.
Here's my question about the football heath.
Were you to understand?
So it's the near future parts of this movie, I think, are in the year 900 million, thousand
billion.
And parts of it are in the year like 1999.4
like 2000.
So this, the future football thing, we're to believe that Johnny Utah fucking has a like
display in his helmet that's saying, oh, he has like an embedded terminator thing, but
for, you know, terminating defenses with his amazing QB skills.
Here's my question to you.
Is that a modification of the guy or the way the graphic is, it looks like it's in his helmet.
So, or is that a normal thing for the game in the future?
Is what I want to know.
Yeah, it does appear to be on the inside of the helmet.
I really wanted him to like get an ad and he's like, shit, I can't see the receiver.
I got to get that.
Get that.
Get that. Then just get can't see the receiver. I gotta get that. Get that.
Just get absolutely murdered by the defense. He's just got to do whack a mole on pop-ups
for a minute. Yeah. Here's what I love about this. This heads up display is able, this
is great for the football geeks among us. It's able to see a fucking lineman and go possible
blitz, which is something that I can do. Like any person who's touched a football can be like, there's a guy.
He might one of those 11 is the Mike.
Yeah, man, one of those 11 is the Mike.
If it's a blitz, one of them or more would be blitzing.
Yes, the defense, the ones facing me.
Yeah, wow.
What a very useful got it.
Morning, they planned to tackle you for the football.
Your whole thing.
How is this laptop the size of a VCR running this thing?
By the way, from the sideline, this is impressive because they actually show us the coach on
the sideline, like, which, you know, he should be holding an iPad, I guess, would be the thing
of now that would do this. But he's got the old time in 1999 laptop. It's really like
a Zach Morris laptop. It's really big. Yeah. I really wanted to like a shot of Bill Bellachick of the sidelines breaking his laptop.
So Johnny can't use his for a second.
That's, that's an excellent football reference.
He like, well, yeah, it is.
Yeah, you want to disable the in helmet display somehow for the other team.
I don't like football, but I do like cheating.
Anyway, this enhanced quarterback with the amazing Google glasses or whatever he's got on
his visor of his helmet.
He despite all that information gets wrecked, taken off the field in a stretcher and into
an ambulance.
And then we cut to inside the ambulance and there's what appears to be like an agent of the
football team in the back of the ambulance
calling his boss.
Be it like, we got a lifetime contract with a vegetable man.
What do we do?
Yeah.
And what they do is murder him in the back of the ambulance.
Yeah.
And I wrote my notes.
I mean, honestly, this tracks for how the NFL treats players like it is the natural conclusion
that the NFL's policy follows.
Well, but this was a white player, though,
so, you know, not really.
Yeah, that's, yeah.
Maybe that's, that's one of the more aspirational parts
of this future in this movie,
at least he didn't kneel during the anthem.
At least he's a patriot.
Right.
Yeah.
That would have been awesome.
Fuck everybody.
This is Yandar.
I don't know if you're doing horrible stuff,
but yeah, Yandu, Yandu.
Michael Rucker.
Yeah, this guy from that other zombie show too.
And you're right.
He has a lot to do, like his occupation within this movie universe is like he burns the
fucking candle at both ends as they say.
He's security, but also team manager, I guess, and like handles the putting down of the
player in the ambulance.
He's got a busy work days on that.
Door to door sales, reanimation, classic problems with the org chart in this company.
And it all was kind of like the weed eater at a restaurant, you know, just like whatever's
happening.
Yeah.
Oh, you need me to murder a clone that got out.
Yeah, I guess that's my job too.
I get we had a game this Sunday.
There's another game.
The team plays every Sunday, you know this.
But okay, yeah, sure. I'll go also kill Arnold Schwarzeneg too. I get we had a game this Sunday. There's another game. The team plays every Sunday, you know this, but okay, yeah, sure.
I'll go also kill Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I'm a fucking spare time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that happens.
The guy who does all that stuff is the agent
and the murder in case there's needing to be murder.
He murders the quarterback.
And then we cut to Arnold Schwarzenegger,
looking in the mirror in the morning at his house and
asking his wife if he looks different to her right now.
Okay, this, this is the craziest intro.
I spent so much of my human life thinking about why these lines are in the movie.
Yeah.
He says, do I look different?
She says, why?
What did you do?
He says, I shaved my mustache and she says, you never had a mustache.
This never gets me visited or explained.
It was like someone was like, I found an old screenplay where people were waking up in
the shredder in the back.
And I don't want to write the first six lines of our scene tape glue white out.
Right. There's no point. You're right. Cause like I thought it was like, oh, a fake out.
Like he's already a clone, but right. No, you're like, there hasn't even been any discussion of that yet.
And there was no mustache involved in either clone.
Any moment, not part of it. So presumably this character was just like, oh, yeah, you're right.
I never did have a mustache. totally. And they just move on.
It's improvised dialogue where someone's really bad at improv
and the thing they come up with cancels out the entire scene
that you just did.
Yo, well, I shaved my mustache.
You never had a mustache.
No, Michael's going, FBI, I murder all of us.
Okay, well, now the movie's over.
Now the movie's over.
Cool.
This is also podcast listener.
This is part of a golden fucking era of cinema.
When Arnold Schwarzenegger was a movie star,
but we all stopped acknowledging that he was from Australia
and a giant weight lifter sized person.
I think he's from Australia and not Australia.
Australia.
I don't think many people ever acknowledged
he was from Australia.
Well, they show nobody acknowledged
the Australian part of that.
He's half Koala. acknowledged the Australian part of that.
He's half Koala.
So they did start doing that.
This is like actually the end of that.
There was a good 15 years.
Like after the first two movies, we're like, well, he's on a Schwarzenegger.
It's fine.
He literally had movies where like his character name was like Johnny America born and raised
FBI agent.
You know, like, yep, home, Brecarrade, Kansas, they didn't care.
It's like, yeah, I'm from from Kansas, born and raised FBI agent, you know, like, young home, Brad Kansas, they didn't care. It's like, yeah, I'm from, from
Kansas, born and raised.
Yeah. And we have the first insane line
where that obviously doesn't make sense for him.
The little girl comes in, right?
They're gonna fuck and then she cock blocks them.
Ha, ha. Oh, my God.
And then the little girl comes in.
She's like, I want a piggyback ride.
And the line that they've written in the script is,
you won't be able to do that for a much longer world famous weightlifter Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Yeah.
Once she goes from 33 pounds to 37 pounds, he's out.
He can't do it anymore.
That begins the trend.
We get to see in this movie.
It could have been a best worse, but I couldn't figure out what to do with it.
We get to see horny Arnold not quite get to fuck his wife,
what, 17 times in this movie.
Many times.
Oh, many times.
Absolutely.
This was Arnold insisting that like,
it needs to be clear that I was almost fucking this woman
constantly in the movie.
She totally wants to fuck me.
Yeah, absolutely.
It says in his contract, we have to include 17 mentions
of her wanting to fuck it. 17, yeah. And you have to include 17 mentions of her wanting to fucking
17.
Yeah.
And you have to win a fight with Vin Diesel.
I don't understand what's happening.
Feels like the actress was sneaking over to the screenplay every time there was a sex scene
and just whiting it out at the very end.
I guess the camera cuts away.
Oh, no, you got cocked by the child actor that I told to come in here.
Yeah.
So Arnold carries his daughter out into the house and we get another setup of the cloning
universe here on the TV.
There's a commercial for a company called Repet so that they clone your pet like your
family dog dies and they clone it and you don't have a dead dog anyway.
You have the same dog back.
Is there a problem?
This is like the first of so many times when I'm watching this and I was like,
but cloning's good, right?
It's okay.
We should do that clearly.
Let's tackle this monster at the outset.
Art of the Schwarzenegger is the bad guy.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Absolutely 100%.
Cloning is amazing.
Why would we not want to clone like everything?
I mean, the very least pets, like say we hold off on humans
at the very least pets 100%.
And let's do humans also for sure.
Yes.
And as our exposition dump informs us,
they have all the same memories.
So it's literally the exact same pet slash human.
Right, yeah, one of the big drawbacks in the argument,
like in reality about this is that the technology
is not there yet.
So we have to make sure it's there.
But this is a movie and they're just like it's there.
So it's amazing.
We're to understand that like every pet in the US is a clone at this point.
So it sounds like you've got that figure.
And there's one other weird thing about this scene.
The exposition dump, they're
not watching it on TV. The, as we are about to learn dying dog is watching it on TV.
Just sitting there like me watching TikTok being like, oh, that's the replacement coming
through. Oh, man, maybe I should get one of those. I feel like all of the, like we're going
to get cloning and it's going to be fuck stuff, right? Like I feel like all of the, like we're gonna get cloning
and it's gonna be fuck stuff, right?
Like that's gonna be the, just like the internet,
it's gonna start as like, oh a bunch of fuck stuff
and then we're gonna like move from there.
I feel like that's what's gonna happen.
Well, no, it always starts as nerds doing science.
The first commercial thing is fuck stuff.
Yeah.
Which we have to wrench from the hands
of the sex weirdos.
And then you can bring your cancer kid back to life.
I would amend that to say it actually starts as a nerd trying to do.
That's what I'm saying, passing it off as.
Oh, it's totally, yeah, cancer.
No, I meant, yeah, that's just, oh, I was good point.
Testing it.
This fucked-all does have just making sure it's
durable for the cancer.
Yeah.
Yep.
You're welcome. Yeah. Yep.
You're welcome.
Exactly.
And one other thing that we get from this scene, which is going to be very important
to the movie, is that the daughter wants a simpal.
Oh my God.
Which I will tease you right now is the most horrific thing ever to appear on cinema.
I 100%.
This podcast listeners, you'll recall, is the demon of the movie this fucking thing
movie when this thing cut we can we brought it up we have to talk about now even though it's like five
scenes from now I lost it my notes are like every time it even pan to goddamn terrifying I
Literally typed out you know this my pie thought I was, you wouldn't have bothered to write, aw, you know, like I actually do.
I was like, every time it showed it,
it is the, oh my God, it's okay, we'll get there.
Our notes are just converting into different religions
and the hopes of banishing this great gift from our screens.
I started talking in ancient tongues,
trying to get it to unspawn.
Like I just did, I tried everything.
Yeah, the power of Christ does not compel her. By the way, we try to. It does not. Jesus Christ. Terrifying. Oh my God.
Listeners, I know we have some people who make movies out there listening to this podcast.
If you send me the simdol so that I can sneak it into Thomas' bedroom. Oh my God. When we're all
hanging out in July for matrion, I will give you all the Eli points. Okay. I'll personally review movies into your ear for a year. If you can get me a simmed
also, died under Thomas's bed. Also listeners, if we have anybody who actually
knows how to clone human beings and you can clone a small girl, that's what we're watching
in the movie. That would be great too. For the prank, just for the prank, ethically,
something like that. Anyway, moving on.
So Arnold leaves his house here.
It's he's going to work.
He works at a helicopter chartering company.
Yeah.
And so he gets in the car with his coworker played by Michael Ravaport and they drive to
work in a fancy future car, self-driving.
Yeah, future car.
Can we just congratulate Michael Rappaport
for not even acting a little for however long it is?
Fucking bruise.
Hey, how's it fucking gone?
I'm Michael Rappaport.
Hey, dude, what's up?
You want a fucking beer?
I'll be in the next movie if you need me,
the exact same continuing character
with the exact same relationship.
To everybody I ever meet in any cinematic fucking you.
We are all in the rap apport verse
and we need to deal with it.
So, anyway, they're driving to work.
And what we learn here is that Michael Rapport
has a VR girlfriend.
So that's part of the future technology.
This was also almost my best worst,
which was best worst under utilized technology.
Yeah.
Right.
We'll get to it.
We also learned it's Arnold's birthday today and he's going to have a surprise party.
And he gets Michael Rappaport.
He like loves Rappaport into revealing that there is in fact a surprise party by doing a
little hoax, but Arnold, the actor doesn't get what happened in the
last thing.
And you can see his confusion.
It's so fun.
Fucking incredible.
She told me you would tell me that I told you she did.
Yes.
Okay, Puzzle Master.
God him.
Yeah.
So they write at work at this helicopter chartering company. And we see Arnold, he's all excited.
The new remote controls have arrived. So he can control like full-size helicopters, like a drone with
a joystick that goes on his arm, the dumbest fucking idiot technology. Yeah, like literally,
it's like, it's like an Atari joystick taped onto his own. Yeah, it's the future technology.
Have you seen the movie The Wizard?
It's the power glove from NES.
It is the power glove.
Yeah.
But you're controlling a deadly dangerous, massive technology.
Like this helicopters have killed a lot of people like Kobe Bryant,
you know, like these are,
sure, deadly things.
And we're to believe that you're just going to hold a thing that if you wave around,
then the helicopter just like fucking goes that way.
Like, I hope you don't, you know, adjust your sunglasses on your head because then the
fucking, the helicopter goes upside down.
I guess.
You just do up up down left, right left, right, left, right, be a select.
You get 30, 30 helicopter lives.
You're fine.
He sneezes and the helicopter does a flip.
I'm sorry about that.
Rudent up to do the vampire call.
But so they got some snowboarders in their helicopter chartering little office. I guess
they're dropping them, you know, helleskiing, hello, snowboarding on top of a mountain.
And right before they're about to leave Arnold's wife calls. And she tells him that the vet
had to put down their dog. So she wants them to go to repet.
So Schwarzenegger finally agrees to maybe check out repet.
He'll go down to the store and see what it's about.
So they get done with the snowboarders.
They get back to the office and a rich client, his name is Michael Drucker, has an advanced
man who's already at their office.
And he's there to get Arnold to sign a non-disclosure agreement
because he's going to be taking Mr. Drucker on a charter helicopter thing and he can't
tell everyone about the amazing like mergers and acquisitions and sports teams that Drucker
owns.
Right.
He has to sign an NDA, give blood and get a vision test is what the movie wants us to believe
at this point.
Yeah.
Only problem with that is like he does the alleged vision test and it's obviously
not a vision test.
There's no, there's no follow up question of like you didn't check if I could see though
you just like,
Oh no, we scanned your eyes with the weird balls on metal holes.
It's fine.
Yeah, really?
Cause I feel like you just took an imprint of my entire brain somehow.
No, no, no, there's a vision test.
Oh, okay. There's Warby Parker. It was fine. You sure? just took an imprint of my entire brain somehow. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, bring in some very futuristic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Seems like something else is going on here. I would be a little bit suspicious to fight with them. Yeah. And if I could just
spoil this for a little bit, what we will eventually learn is that this apparent vision
test and blood test are them preparing to be able to make clones of all the people involved
in this ski trip just in case, just in case. Yeah. That seems like a lot of effort.
Just every time your boss goes to dinner, okay, fuck, sorry, we need, we need to get ready
to make clones of all the waiters and all the chefs in case someone bombs the space.
Yeah, it's amazing. You can't like pour, the problem is on due is too overworked. So he's
overlooked the fact that you could just be like, well,
can't you just say that he survived the helicopter crash and the other people didn't make it.
I would save you. They even reveal it's $1.2 million a pop to clone somebody. Yeah. That
would save you. Let me do some math. $2.4 million from the two people you've cloned. Just
say they died in the crash.
John. Where's the Indiana Jones warehouse of audience
cloning DNA from everywhere this guy's been in the last three years?
Sorry, his kid really likes to go to the jump round and it's really hard to get a vision
scan of all those kids.
Wait, he's going to a college football game on my fucking
card. Oh, fuck, on today at the stadium.
We're giving away free vision test.
I'm like, bring your own bad day.
Right.
So yeah, they fly.
They fly the rich guy, Mr. Drucker, up to the top of the mountain.
He's going to be snowboarding too, I guess.
Yeah.
But then out of nowhere,
Michael Rafford appears to be getting murdered by one of the snowboarders from before,
but it happens in like,
rewind fast forward tape universe.
Yeah.
Don't worry, that's all gonna make sense
later in the movie.
Will it?
Yeah.
It doesn't.
I don't think it does.
I think they're trying to, they'll be like a rewind tape thing, but it won't make sense
for this to happen.
Like it does, it's fine.
This is.
Yeah, is that what we're to believe like it actually happened in rewind tape?
That's actually how it occurred.
Right.
That's how they presented it.
This is the real present.
So it would need to happen in like, you know, forward time.
It wasn't that when they were viewing it later
in the clone brain thingy, it looked like that.
No, no, that's actually how it happened.
It was a weird, rewindie assassination.
You can't have a memory of you getting killed
with you in the frame because you can't see you.
It's fine.
Idiots.
Anyway.
So that happens.
Michael Raport got shot.
Now we cut over to Arnold waking up from a nap that he was taking in a cab on the way
to the mall.
So now he's arriving at the mall to go to the repet store.
And I just want to know this is definitely the original Arnold Schwarzenegger because,
you know, it's just definitely the original.
He's played by Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Yeah.
So how could it be just part of you feel like they really wanted there to be this big reveal at the end when
he's the clone.
Oh, so much.
Absolutely.
They thought this was a twist.
Yeah.
And I want to incorporate in like the idea that the guy is like, it's going to be like the
sixth sense.
Okay, what's the name of your movie?
Sexy.
Don't say, don't say a sense.
The sixth.
Just don't say Johnny Phoenix. Yeah. Guys, just
a quick tip. If you set up a movie about cloning, we're going to assume that the main characters
have clones immediately. Yeah. There's no twists for that. You can't twist that. Yeah, make
it even. It's like they should have done it when he was like, do I look different?
Like that should have been somehow when we thought it was the clone.
Cause now it's too fucking obvious.
We know he woke up out and know why would that happen?
Whatever he wakes up with the Graucho Marx must.
I said,
I said,
I said,
but it didn't.
Yeah.
So he goes into the mall and we see Christians, fundamentalist Christians protesting
the repet store because they don't like cloning,
because God hates cloning.
Yeah.
And, hey, can I just say one of the most realistic moments
in the movie is Christians being mad
about a very obviously good thing at the mall.
He has a good zinger.
Fresh clone Schwarzenegger with a zinger.
They're like, God doesn't want you to clone the thing.
Well, then God shouldn't have killed my dog.
Yeah. And which is weird because a second ago, he was against it and
thought it was like, you know, like, well, they can't decide what the fuck his views on
cloning are. It's different every scene. Very confusing. And they reply, by the way, by
calling him an atheist. They're like, oh, damn it. That's a good argument. Oh, that
means you're an atheist. I mean, he might as must be like, yes, problem of evil. God murdered my dog. I am an atheist.
Do you have a response? And they're like, nah, fuck you. Yeah. So he goes inside the repette store.
And he learns from the repette salesman guy that they make blanks, like a clone gets created
by starting with a blank. So they have a bunch of blank entity
beings and then they inject the blank with DNA and it like morphs into a dog or a human.
So I wasn't clear in this. Is it like you have blank dogs and then blank humans or do they
just have blank like animal that can turn into anything?
That was my question. They have like a blob. Well, this here could be a dog or a cat or a snake.
This is a very flexible blanket. I feel like you would need a blank for every single different
kind of dog. You can't part of the clang process isn't like you turn a regular dog into a bowl
dog. That would be impressive. How would you do that? You know, or or or a corgi did chop off
its legs? Is that how they do it? Throw it at a corgi chopper and then we that comes out of corgi when we slice off half
it's someone comes in. Do you have any skunk planks? Oh, guys, we got a skunk weirdo. Come
on. Get up the skunk plank. But yeah, he decides not to get the dog. He's going to get her
a simpal instead. Oh, my right. So he heads to Simpile store. It's where we're about to start
screaming. There it is. There it is. Yep. Oh, there it is. Yeah. So he takes the cab home.
The cab driver explains how to shut down Simpile Cindy, which, which is good. It was very
worrying that the cab driver knows how to shut down Simpile Cindy. Yes. Yes. Yes.
It is. And also, why do they give? Why would they give the demon power down voice to this terrifying
dog? That's what I wrote. I wrote, maybe you want a voice that doesn't actually die as you shut a
trowel. I am in terrible pain. Why would you have that? Yeah, that's literally just its normal turnoff
function. Like, if you have to fucking update the firmware's literally just its normal turnoff function.
Like, if you have to fucking update the firmware, you're like, let me restart it.
No, it's like spins around.
Imagine howling it is to horrible.
Okay, Simpal, sending just to restart it like five times for the update.
God, not a guy right here.
Restarting says it has to do it again. There's no way this is impossible that this was made. This kid in this movie.
It's impossible. So Arnold finally gets home and this is where the plot really kicks in.
He gets home and he's practicing a speech to tell his daughter about how like, all right,
we're not going to clone all over the dog dogs.
Die sometimes.
Here's where how it goes.
And then he sees his dog in the yard and he's like, oh, shit, my wife get a repet already.
And then he looks inside and everybody's singing happy birthday to him inside his house
at his party.
So there's a clone of him.
Like we all knew right away when the main
character is in a movie about cloning. And then immediately after he sees that, some
evil agent people who seem to be cops at this moment come up and they're like, you need
to come with us. There was a human cloned. And then they they taser him and they're going
to drag him to their evil truck and take him away. And Simpel Cindy takes a bullet for him here,
which was not the character arc I expected for Simpel Cindy,
but okay.
Oh, best thing to happen.
My notes were like, oh, thank fucking Christ.
They killed the doll.
And then it keeps talking again.
And I went, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And I've typed another fucking spasm into the,
God, she might as well look up at the killers
and be like, that
which does not live can never die. They should send Pell Cindy here and she screams.
I think it's strange that they programmed a scream if you get shot in the head into
the Sint-Pell Cindy doll.
Yeah, so he's in a laser gun fight. All the guns, by the way, are lasers in this future universe?
Yes, question about that.
Why?
Why wouldn't it at least some of the guns just be still bullet guns?
It feels like.
Why?
Yes, great question.
Like, we have laser guns now, right?
That's a thing.
We also have bullet guns.
Are laser guns real?
You also might be thinking to yourself, oh, it's probably because they don't run out of
bullets.
No, they do appear to be six to eight shooter still.
So yeah, we watched them refill them a magazine of like, of lasers.
Yeah.
It's where all the light is.
Yeah.
She's got a band of lear of lasers over.
Sure.
But there's a bad two thousand car chase and he gets away.
Yeah. Right. He jumps into his old Cadillac and they chase him for car chase and he gets away.
Yeah, right. He jumps into his old Cadillac and they chase him for a while and he drives off a cliff.
Yeah.
But then he he grabbed, he dove out of the car at the last minute and he's hanging on a loose piece of fence over the cliff.
And then they try to shoot him and he dives into the the gorge and just end it there.
Like just have him have survived by hanging onto the fence.
Why do they do the thing?
We're like, wait, we found you on the fence.
Now we're going to try to shoot you and you have to dive unnecessarily into the water and
then that's how you'll get away and not be dead.
I'm fucking dumb.
Also he's really good.
I love this is another thing in addition to us forgetting that he's Australian,
something like that all the time.
We also just assume that whatever movie Arnold's in,
whatever job, quote unquote, he's in in the movie,
he's also just a deadly assassin every time.
Like it doesn't.
So that's the thing.
Later on in this movie,
this movie will constantly be patting its pockets for its keys.
Later on in this movie in the sloppiest possible way like 30 seconds before the end
They'll be like just like when you were in the war our movie makes sense the rainforest war is what they say
Yeah, remember the fucking think of the thing rainforest wars of
2030, yeah, I know of the near future nearer future, but not
of the near future, nearer future, but not quite so near future past for us past for us our past, but your future. No wait, I mean the move our past. So, so yeah Arnold dies off the side whatever turns
out he's going to be alive because he's the main character obviously he's fine. He falls for like
45 seconds into a gorge, but he's fine. Now we cut over to the Weir organ transplant facility.
And a bunch of Christians are again doing a protest because they're cloning organs,
which is like the most ethical, obvious thing. Yes, you obviously should clone organs
if you can clone organs.
Right. And I have a question about movies in general. Is there a reason why all sci-fi
writers assume that the biggest thing about the future is going
to be holograms that shout out to you as you walk by businesses?
Has anybody ever wanted that?
Because the outside of the clinic, it's got the doctor guy played by Robert Duval just
being like, hello, welcome to the clinic.
I'm a home guy.
Like, why is that better than a sign?
Yes.
I also think what they should have done is just have the holograms terrorized the stupid Christian protesters. They'll come up with different weird shit to like throw
at them to scare them. All of a sudden, it's a hologram of Simpile Cindy. You got it.
Oh, God. We're leaving. We're leaving.
Right. And this is where we meet Rich guy from before, the one who was in the helicopter
where Michael Rappaporka killed. So Rich guy is going to come out and he's going to give a bad guy speech to the press.
And it's so good because they're like, well, all these protesters are very mad at you.
Do you want to clone people? And he's like,
yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
And he makes really good points.
He's like, yeah, so imagine, you know, a 10 year old boy dying a liver cancer.
Well, we fixed that.
We clone livers here.
You're protesting that already.
But now imagine a kid with brain cancer.
And we can't clone just a brain.
What if we have to clone a whole person to get the brain?
Shouldn't we do that?
And should we, I don't, how does the scene awkwardly walks away from itself?
Also, if we clone a whole person to use the brain, we're not killing that clone nut.
Like, the brain is the part that would be alive the most, and it that lives on, right?
Well, there's two very different technologies that the movie has decided is one thing.
It's one thing to clone something.
Like when you clone the sheep,
they didn't do an eye test of the sheep
and like upload the other sheep.
And Dali's memories didn't go into the clone.
They just grew a sheep that was genetically
like a twin to the other sheep.
And so I don't know if the real world knows
about this unbelievable brain copying technology that
would be earth shattering technology.
So does the world know about that as a secret technology?
Because that's also not necessarily cloning.
Like is that illegal?
It is part of repet.
So they're at least peripherally aware that you can transfer pet memories.
That's right.
But couldn't you treat it like an organ transplant,
but the brain is the organ?
Like you're saying, you just grow a brain imprint.
The, is it the imprinting that they're saying?
Is he legal?
I don't fucking know me.
I don't know.
Like real life, it's unclear what these Christians
are upset about in science progress.
They don't really know either.
Yeah.
They're just, they're generally mad about us somehow.
We also learn very quickly that
Robert DeVal's wife, Robert DeVal is Dr. Weir, who does the clone of organ thing. His wife
is not feeling well. So she has to leave. She's got, you know, movie, die lady, movie syndrome.
Clone, right?
Future on the fans will like that one. Yeah. So just very very clearly, she's going to get murdered and cloned several times.
Obviously, that's what they're setting up here.
We also meet a senator or a speaker, the house and Drucker meets with the speaker and
they're going to work on getting clone laws changed so you can clone things.
Right.
Do you feel bad for Robert?
I always feel bad when there's one actual actor in a film.
I was thinking about that.
Yeah. You always wonder who Robert T'Val was doing a favor for, right?
Yeah.
Because there's no way Robert T'Val read this script and was like, this looks fucking great.
I want to be in that one.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And I just, I want to know, I would love to like get the debrief from Robert T'Val after
each day of shooting where he's like, all right, I'm gonna do this thing called fucking acting for real,
like actual acting.
Everybody else is doing God knows what,
like I just don't know what they're doing.
I would love to just, you know, yeah,
let's have a glass of wine, Robert Duval.
Tell me about your day.
How was this being the one person who could do the job
that all these people were supposed to be able to do?
You're now allowed to imagine a scenario
where Michael Rappaport and Arnold Schwarzenegger
were on either side of Robert Duval and Robert Duval did not have a gun to defend himself.
Yeah.
God.
It's like Michael Cain doing jaws, the revenge or whatever.
Furious acting the whole time.
I'm making eight million dollars.
Okay. Cut. She's great. Yeah. So from
there, we, we learned about the Speaker of the House wanting to make new laws about
cloning because he's got a kid with terminal brain cancer. Turns out, then we cut to Arnold,
pulling himself out of the river. He's fine. And he goes to the cops to report the whole, I have a clone situation, but the clone already filed a report about the incident at the house with the stolen
car and the laser gun shots that they're outside. So the cops don't, don't believe him
about the cloning thing. Yeah, I feel like they have a firm like look we don't take sides and clone wars It's just whoever got here first is the not
Yeah, we also get a virtual public defender popping up and a virtual psychiatrist popping up. That's a technology we have I like these
I like the attorney, but hey if I'm gonna portray a psychiatrist
How would I portray somebody as a psycho?
It's a fucking hackiest Sherman accent. Talk about your mom.
Yep. God fuck you.
It's back in 2000, man. There were three people in therapy and two of them were Woody Allen.
It was a better time.
So, so like, yeah, all right, man, we'll, we'll file your report to just go wait in that
the waiting room over there. And they lock him in, like, it's really a holding room at the police
station. Then we cut back to Dr. Wears lab. And we see them, they're totally cloning entire humans.
We see his whole like setup. Yeah. Well, they're cloning new henchmen because he killed the henchmen
during the car chase. Yeah, my question is, so this is, by the way, if you want to pause for side boob, we're at that part.
But why, okay, I get cloning the girl, you know,
she's dead, you gotta recliner.
Why do you keep cloning the worst fucking henchmen
in the world?
Like, what if it's just a jackass?
Yup, a jackass who does nothing, he can't help,
he's not good at his job.
Why are you blowing your clone money
on the worst fucking henchmen in the history of time?
What is a henchman cost?
Way less than 1.2 mil.
I feel like you pay him like a month of salary,
whatever big salary that might be for henching.
God yeah.
It's still, you know, they're gonna die within the month
because that's what keeps happening.
You're saving a lot of money.
I mean, what does a henchman actually make?
Minimum wage?
Like it can't be much.
Yeah. You're gonna tell me that he's gonna clone a new henchman actually make minimum wage? Like, it can't be much. Yeah.
You're gonna tell me that he's gonna clone a new henchman
every time they die.
Now, what you would do is you would tell them that.
You'd be like, oh, yeah, if you die,
I totally got you back.
Don't worry, I'll make a new one of you.
And then just not.
Anyway, put an ad on fuckingmonster.com.
Looking for henchmen, 18 an hour.
So yeah, all we're getting here is just seeing their process of like
turning the blank into a real person. So the lady hench, the henchwoman is being cloned here.
The face turns from the blank face to the person's face in like a few seconds. Very quick.
It's a very fast. It's a reverse Voldemort, if you will.
Yeah.
And one part of the cloning process is like everybody rubs Vaseline on them, I think.
Yeah.
Doesn't it seem like everybody come in for a pat down?
They got to grease you up once you've been cloned.
It's very important.
Doesn't it feel like you could give clothes to the blank so that they don't wake up naked
and terrified
every single time.
Yeah, because that's what they do.
It does feel like sexual harassment.
Like she should go to Hinch woman HR though.
And be like, look, it's kind of inappropriate
that they're cloning me with my naked body
and they're all rubbing me like when I wake up.
But yeah, listen, I saw a bunch of other guys get cloned
and they had clothes no Vaseline.
It was just, they get, it was really,
just a really easy process for them. It seemed like, by the way, the first thing you do when you get
created as a new clone is you yell at the person responsible for your death because you remember that
because they, they zap you with like a viewfinder of all your memories. So I guess the last thing that
happened is always your death. So you yell about your killer.
Question, in other parts of the movie,
they remember the fact that you only go back
to your last backup time.
But in this part of the movie,
are we to believe that they gave her an eye test, right?
Right, like as she was dying.
Yeah, I just, they forgot.
A post death eye test, maybe?
Yeah, when was her backup point?
Do we know unclear?
Yeah, we're like, oh, she's doing safe.
Safe.
Check point.
Yeah, I was going to say it's like a from software game.
You got it.
Wait, one second.
I know we're going to fight on a search nigger.
I just got to run back to this fun fire real quick.
Yeah.
So she's alive.
And I am rooting for a cloning lab with a team of murdery agents now.
So maybe the movie can sell the protagonist a little better in the next act.
We'll find out after a quick break.
And then I said, a punch bowl is just a really big cup if you drink it all.
Same thing.
Yeah, right, man, but it was a funeral.
It's irrelevant. It's true either way.
I feel like it's not irrelevant though.
Thomas, hey Eli, what's up? Noah left this for you. It's a gift card for master class. What's master class? Yeah, what's master class? He's clone. You're not in the show anymore.
Get out of the house. Two points. It's two points for he's clone. Yes, it is. No,
he's even saying first. He's clone. I think I think that counts as two.
With master class, you can learn from the world's best minds.
Anytime, anywhere, and at your own pace, you can learn how to cook from Gordon Ramsay,
improve your chest skills from Gary Kasparov, or learn to skateboard from Tony Hawk, with
over a hundred classes from a range of world-class instructors.
That thing you've always wanted to do is closer than you think, and I came back next to the
mics for this.
I was actually a Masterclass customer before they were a sponsor. I signed up for the Steve Martin
class on comedy, but I found a bunch of stuff I've loved since then. I highly recommend you check
it out, get unlimited access to every masterclass and as a God awful movies listener, you get 15%
of an annual membership. Go to masterclass.com slash awful now. That's masterclass.com slash awful for 15% off masterclass. Wow. You
know, that was a really nice gift of no, oh, never mind. Oh, rough. Yeah. Dear Thomas,
maybe try an audio course. No, sorry about that. No, it's fine. I'm used to it by now. Yeah. Yeah. Us two. Hey, pal, we're headed. One, two, three maple lane, please.
You got it. My name is Sally. Do you want to be friends? God, how do I turn this thing off?
This is the worst. Oh, you just got to say Sally, go to sleep. Oh, okay, cool. Um, Sally, go to sleep.
I'm sleepy. Yeah. The voice chips on those things can be changed.
So you can do one that's a little less shrill if that bothers you.
Also, the dress it comes in, that's just the standard one.
I like the new modern classic.
It's so much easier to wash.
Cool.
Yeah.
Good to know.
How old's your daughter?
Oh, I don't have any kids. You see, the thing is, we don't need to talk anymore.
Thank you.
Okay.
Roll up the window.
Further.
And we're back.
When we left off, the evil agent team just cloned their dead lady back to life using
miraculous technology that's better than God.
And now they're coming
to the police station to find Arnold. And I like that the incompetent henchman always has post-skitting
murdered by Arnold Schwarzenegger flashbacks that he can't get over. That will be a running theme
for the movies. He's like, well, the fucking chester. It's from when he ran over me with a car.
And they're like, no, it didn't Larry stop. You can't have a paid day off.
the car. And they're like, no, it didn't Larry stop. You can't have a paid day off. But my dog has a hundred thousand tiny dogs. Yeah. I don't understand that too. I thought they
were getting it like building up to like, Oh, actually, the clones for whatever reason
won't work. Like that's what I thought they were building up to like, ah, exactly. They
are setting up for the, this is why cloning's bad because they actually have all the pain
memories in your body. But no, no, no, but just this one guy just don't want the worst over
fucking paid henchmen of all time that they, but at genuine funny moment in the movie is
when Arnold just fucking in a minute here, just snaps his neck, you know, we get a little
chacy around the police thingy. Yes, Arnold snaps his head off. And this is actually genuinely laugh out loud moment of the movie because
the other henchmen from, you know, the zombie show, they come over and they have to do the
thing of like, no, he's actually fine. He's totally fine. Yes. They up the cops walk over
to his dead body. His neck is very clearly broken. They're like, uh, and he's like, he's dead. He reaches down and chucked his pulse and he's like, yep, strong pulse pump pump pump. Oh, good.
It's hilarious, except for the fact that like, I guess in the future, the police are like,
well, he said he was alive. So they could just take a dead body back somewhere and get
away with like a murder. Like they they don't the cops don't need
to keep that for evidence or chase you know, collect evidence from the body or whatever
they're just like, well, he said it was live. So I guess yeah, we let him go.
They're just weakened at burning him back to the car. Oh, I think I'd like a sandwich.
All right. Hey, chief, do you think we should stop them from doing? No, he said it was
strong pulse. That's fine. We got to follow up with all these dog virus cases. We don't
have time.
Right.
So Arnold saw them coming. He ran out of the police station somehow.
He blends into the crowd as a course.
Of course.
It comes up to this guy outside snaps his neck.
He's wearing a jacket.
So it's fine.
Yeah.
Oh, that's right.
He has a normal, normal jacket that says normal on it.
So he snaps that guy's neck and he runs away. Then we cut to Michael rap report arriving back at his
apartment, but he got murdered a few scenes ago. So it's like, it's a clone of Michael rap
port. And we know that, but the movie doesn't know that we know that because the movie still
thinks they're doing twist. Yeah, but they did clone him. And that means it's time to meet
the virtual girlfriend. Yeah.
Which it's, yeah, it's like Thomas said,
it's just like a really shitty like 80s technology hologram
that gives you a lap dance in this weird chair that you have.
Well, you put the forehead thing on and then you can feel it.
It's so sad.
But here's the problem with that is that they say also
that she was unzipping them.
So I get, yeah, that feel it.
So I get you would feel like something's touching your dick. I get that, but the unz it,
they specifically say a hologram with the unzipping. So here's what I have to believe. There's a little
arm attachment, like a little tiny like swivel attachment that comes out of the chair just for the purpose of unzipping the zipper.
And then the little arm turns to the camera and is like rock, it's a living.
I bet it's magnet-based because you know, zippers are metal.
Is it a zipper metal?
Yep.
That's probably what it is.
What if you're wearing sweatpants?
Now you have some size.
It only works.
You're not wearing sweatpants.
There's a sticker on the chair that says only wear stuff with wheels, with zippers.
I also want to throw out that I just love that how like unbreakable her early 2000 sexism
is.
Right?
Because there's a bunch of stuff that happens in this scene and she'll just be like,
Oh, I noticed that you guys are fighting over the last hologram of Ura and Ra.
Well, I mean, take my pants off. I'm sorry guys, I'm a hologram of Ura Nara. Want me to take my pants off?
I'm sorry guys, I'm a hologram.
I don't have a lot of settings for these conversations.
And then, you know, another minor thing, but Arnold takes out the gun and micro
rap report goes, that's a real gun.
You're like, why would that be what you would someone takes out a gun in front of me?
I don't go. That's a real gun.
I what fucking wait.
And then I think Arnold should have said, no, it's just a stupid fucking laser bullshit.
It doesn't even do anything terrible.
That's a real shirt.
You're wearing yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a real shirt.
It's a real shirt.
Honestly, if the rest of this movie had just been them like driving while Michael rap
port lists the real things around them, that's a real beer in my fridge.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Right. But the whole point of the scene is just for Arnold to be like, hey, so there's
a whole cloning situation.
You need to be part of the plot.
I got cloned.
We need to go to my house.
And I think his plan is to murder his clone at his house.
To murder his clone.
Yeah.
We have no reason to believe his family is in danger that the clone is danger. He's just like, that is my house. Yeah. We have no reason to believe his family is in danger that the clone is danger.
He's just like, that is my house.
Yeah. And Michael Raport's like, yeah, let's go murder a clone.
That's awesome. Yeah.
Sure. Absolutely.
I'm so I've been hoping you'd ask me to go murder a clone.
Finally, right.
And waiting for this day.
So they're hiding outside of Arnold's house, spy in on the clone and Michael Raport's
like, hold on a second.
Oh, God.
How do I know you are not the clone and that's not the real one.
And I wanted Arnold to be like because none of the plot would make sense.
If that's what was happening, why would I be doing this if I was to but no, it's just
they use the shaving cut thing to explain it.
So Arnold has a cut on his chin from shaving.
So he knows that's the real one.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
That settles it.
Yeah.
Never mind the fact that they're able to birth an entire human.
So I feel like they could fake a shaving cut.
And also the real Arnie is within view of Michael Ravport and you can see shaving cut.
So I feel like maybe Michael Ravport should have asked a few
follow ups on that, you know? Yeah. Again, just to like spoil the movie here, he is the clone.
We've talked about this. He is the clone. That's the worst possible clone test. When the answer is
let's murder the other one. Yeah. Wait, sorry, a shaving cut seems like a really bad way, whether or not to kill a
sentient being now kill him, kill it. Now kill that man over there. Yep. All right. I guess
what kind of man on there. So they decided to kill the man over there. Not before we get
18 more fucking clips of Arnold going to fuck his wife and then getting interrupted. God,
it's so many. Yeah. So many. Oh, and Michael Rappaport is watching for a second,
Yeah, so many. Oh, and Michael Rappaport is watching for a second, which is supposed to be a comedy beat, but it lasts too long and gets real creepy. Yeah, right? Because like, there's definitely the action
movie beat of like, oh, give me a kiss, big boy. And then the psychic goes like, uh, go, I go, at
least except it's like, give me a kiss, big boy. And Michael Rappaport's just like, yeah,
I fucking do it. I can do it, I'm Michael Rapor.
I got a question though,
cause can clone Arnold watch?
Like is it okay if clone or watches?
Yeah, when he failed to kill his clone,
I was like, nice, just gonna live their life as a throp
all I appreciate.
Yeah, very progressive of that.
Like, what's the crime?
I wanna know what the crime is.
If he watches, I'm just curious. I just want to know.
I feel like you would get involved.
Right.
I feel like if everybody's into that,
that's like a perfect thing.
I feel like a lot of people would want that in fact, right?
I, it depends on your partner.
I know one wants two of me.
Well, if I,
No one wants one of me, let alone two.
I'm picturing if we were to have a sexual relationship,
you and I, you lie. every time we do this podcast,
now it could be, it could be either that or it could be two of you and one of me.
I'm going with two. I did write down here that, okay, number one use of a clone Thomas would be
switching off to take care of the kids so I could bone my wife and piece. That would be the number one
thing that I would do. But the clone is going to want to do the boning, right?
That's the problem.
That's why switching all your clones.
That's why I said switching off.
It's a, you know, double duty, like why?
Other day.
Tuesday, Thursday, Monday, Wednesday, Friday says,
I'm sure.
Yeah.
So now we're going to cut back over to Robert DuVal's house.
His wife is doing more dying lady, sighing.
Yeah.
Then we get back to Michael Rappapor, who again, it's like, oh, I didn't watch you fuck your wife.
I mean, I didn't watch your smoke the stogie.
And then they go back to Michael Rappapor's place to try and figure it out.
But the henchmen show up and they kill Michael Rappapor.
No, the oldest assassin, this is my favorite thing.
The assassin shows up. The assassin who killed them in the helicopter to begin with.
Yes.
Shows up and just blasts a hole in Michael Rapopore instantly.
Like, and I just, I love it because it feels like the movie was like, we gotta get rid of
this fucking deal weed.
Like we can't have this guy in the film anymore.
He just comes in, shoots him, doesn't shoot Arnold though for no reason.
No. It's weird. I don't get it. I don't understand. Well, he later says that't shoot Arnold though, for no reason. No, it's weird.
I don't get it.
I don't understand.
Well, he later says that he shot him because he's a clone.
So he thinks that he's a clone, but because he didn't know about Arnold.
It doesn't make a lot of sense, but we're going to learn by the way, just for context that
this guy who comes in and kills Michael Rapp report is a Christian terrorist.
He's a Christian fundamentalist terrorist.
Yes.
And he will be a good guy in the movie.
The movie thinks he's a good guy. Yeah, a real heroic fighter, him. He's not too bright, though.
He gets distracted by the VR fuck bot. Very easily. Or he'll press the button and she like pops up
on it says something that he spins around. Well, again, if his, if his whole, I just want to know what his version of this was going
to be because if in his mind, he's just killing Michael Rappaport, he's done.
Why is he still there?
She's just be like, bam, okay, kill that clone.
All right, take care.
Sorry about that, Arnold.
And then leave out the window.
Instead, he like, he's not going to kill Arnold, but he is going to point his gun at him.
And then when he's distracted by the sex body, he gets killed by our whatever wrestled by our, it's weird.
Like what, what in his mind? What's happening in the scene?
I think his whole point in the scene is just to drop the title of the movie.
And that's it.
Oh, yeah, because he, he explains what's happening.
And then he's like, I'm Christian and on the sixth day, God created man.
So I'm a terrorist against clones because
of that. And that's the title. And I mean, honestly, it's 2022. There have been Christian
terrorists for way less stupid reasons. I do. Yeah. So that they do a big garage chasing.
I just want to point out the garage that they do the chase scene with the Christian fundamentalist guy catches fire
Very quickly feel like the future would have more of a handle on fire
Especially if all guns are fire creating lasers now. I think that would be a consideration
Yeah, Arnold's just shooting steam pipes all over this garage. It's a steam-powered garage
So he's I don't I don't know. So we
can't see most of the scene, but yeah, they have a garage fight laser scene.
Yeah. Is there a giant bellows in there for like a big steam engine? What is, does that
power the sex bot? Maybe I don't know. Oh, steam powered sex bot. So they might rush
cover me. Just shoveling coal into one side. Yeah. So this is where we get
Eli's best worst, by the way, where the leg gets shot off. Yeah. The bad henchmen show up to the
chase scene between him and the fundamentalist. And they're like, oh, shit, sorry, we got to both fight
the bad guys now. So they both fight the bad guys, which includes Arnold jumping out and shooting Zandu in the leg.
Yondu. I cannot recommend watching it enough because it is very clearly just this actor
lifting his leg in the air and being like, oh, it's gone. He like, he doesn't even bend
his knee. He's just like, ah, I'm going on one leg.
Like, he's just holding his leg up. Like, it's a quad stretch like that.
Like he's, yeah, lower half exactly at my knee is gone.
Also during this fight Arnold shoots the fingers off the henchwoman and a few of those
fly onto the ground.
And that is very important because Arnold jumps in their truck and he needs the biometric ID
thing in the truck to work.
So he has to rub back out, grab her thumb and start up the truck with that.
Yeah.
Now he does kill her in this scene, but it did bring up the question for me of in the future
where you can just clone Newhengeman.
At what point do you go like, man, you should probably kill me so we can get a Newhengeman,
right?
Cause she doesn't have fingers on one hand male.
And that feels like a borderline case of like, well, I'm obviously not my peak henchman,
but is it a waste of a clone to kill me?
Right.
I don't want to die.
That would have been a great argument back at headquarters.
No, I can still do everything you can do.
I can still do it.
Oh, really?
Oh, hey, hold these two guns.
One in each hand.
Hold it. Toss it out. And like, it's in the face. Big it. Oh really? Oh really? Hey hold these two guns one and a chance. Hold it. Toss it out. And like it's in the face. Big it.
There's the one guy who just keeps insisting he's fine. It doesn't need to be cloned.
Hey fellas, how's it going? Oh, look, it's Nubby Steve. Hey Steve,
you want some help on this murder? No, we're fine. Can we just clone you a shin area? That's
it's just it's look, it's fine. Okay. So then we cut over to
Robert DuVolgan, the coffee wife from before, she's officially on her deathbed. One of the doctors
is like, she has cystic fibrosis, but that's a thing for kids. So we must be mistaken. And he's like,
yep, you must be mistaken. And this is where clone wife is like, I don't want to come back.
Our argument against cloning is that I personally, this one lady would prefer not to come back. Our argument against cloning is that I personally, this one lady
would prefer not to come back. Yeah, exactly. Oh, it gets worse than that later. I can't
wait. Right. But he, he clearly, he told his wife that she's a clone. So yeah, she knows
five years ago, I thought they were going to, okay, this is a cool episode of Black Mirror.
If you just take his situation, the one good actor,
it's interesting.
It should be like, she doesn't know,
he keeps cloning her without her knowing,
but they ruin that because she's like,
I've been actually dead for five years,
and I know all about this, and he's like,
oh, okay, well, that kind of ruins the magic of the scene.
And by the way, don't clone me anymore.
Okay, don't clone you anymore, And then I better shut down the entire business
and not help any dying children.
No, you could still do that.
Exactly.
She should have said that.
No, you could still do that.
I just, I personally have a preference of don't clone.
And Robert DeValle's like,
what I'm hearing is end all cloning for everybody.
No cloning for anybody.
Yeah, no organ transplants.
No cloning.
Don't worry darling.
I'll destroy the world's supply of antibiotics for anybody. Yeah, no organ transplants. No, don't worry darling, I'll destroy the world's supply
of antibiotics for you. I just personally don't want you to clone me. It's okay if you save the
children. Go kill all the clones in the world. You got it. I have this button. I've installed an
explosive in all the repets. It's all about the elegant beauty of children dying when God wants
them to.
I heard you.
Message received.
I'm Robert Duval.
Got it.
I've going to honor you, my dead wife,
by killing untold innocent people in millions of,
yeah, literally an infinite number of softening.
Thanks to you.
Yep.
So that whole scene was to introduce
that philosophical principle.
And that's it.
That's all that happens there.
Now we cut back to Arnold.
He's sneaking into the weird lab using the cutoff thumb to get into the front gate as the
biometric ID. So he's going to pop up as the henchwoman on like the security screen, but yeah,
they ignore that. There's a lot of problems with this plan. First is that he's decided to use the thumb of a woman to get through all the security. Don't worry, it works constantly. But also,
the way he's decided to smuggle in the gun is to bring it in a cooler. And when the guy's like,
I got to check your cooler for him to be like, okay, but there's like super gross,
super gross, flesh-eating bacteria in there. So maybe you don't do your job. You know the disease that's killing literary every dog in the city? Yeah, it's not too
that tall in there. Right, but that's yeah, he stinks in and he's now he has a laser gun in there.
And we also learn that life expectancy of these clones is one to five years
because the clones have a cancer genome in them.
We see Robert DeVol, like learning that on his computer.
Okay, so again, I was like, okay,
this is the plot of the movie
because we haven't gotten a good anti-clone argument.
It was gonna turn out that you actually
can't make clones long-term.
They all get these genetic diseases and die. Nope. That's going to be canceled out in
about two C. So weird. So fucking weird. This is also where he gives
him his like personality DVD that they got from the I test. And I'd wrote, I'd say that's
unrealistic, but I actually really believe that Arnold Schwarzenegger's personality fits
on an in-gen. On like a five and a quarter floppy.
Like it's so silly.
That's an entire every memory and nuance of your brain's understanding of everything
in your life.
Takes 19 of those things to play starship Titanic, but Arnold Schwarzenegger fits on
what just fine.
Yeah.
So Arnold takes this, that's his evidence of the clone conspiracy. And now the evil
agent team, they're looking for Arnold's wife and his daughter at the house because
Drucker's like, all right, he's got my, he's got my evidence of our conspiracy here.
You got to go get his family so we can pressure him and make him trade it back. Yeah.
He might as well say you got to go get his family for act three.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what it's for.
And that's where they learned that the little girls at her recital.
Yep.
I would also, this was almost my best words.
So they head over to the recital.
First of all, I just want to stop for a moment and acknowledge how insane it is to have
a scene where the bad guys don't find the wife and child.
Right? Like we just go to a series of't find the wife and child. Right? Like we
just go to a series of events that the wife and child aren't it? No, they're not at the
mall or the ice cream shop. But yeah, they finally go to the recital. They're going to kidnap
the little girl and they corner her with their remote control, robo-doperman pincer. E-L-K. So is this another piece of technology
that also exists, again, another thing
that's not really cloning.
Like cloning entails a lot of stuff in this movie.
And apparently part of that is programmable dogs
where you have a terrible little interface by the way
that's like the buttons are really close together.
Like if this is my Game Boy Advance.
Yeah. If this was my phone, I would fuck this up all the time. I can't even type a sentence
without the letters being all mixed up, but you have like definitely kill the innocent
child right next to the don't kill the.
They're trying to do it in like a nine word and it's fucking.
No, they have to pull out a stylus from the back of it.
Shoot.
Oh, sorry.
But yeah, the bad guys who have not had Robbo dobermans the entire movie, they have them.
And by the way, we'll never have them again.
Right?
Oh, we're setting up the robo dobermans so that Arnold could kill them later.
Nope, they will never appear in the movie again.
No, they have guns.
So they use the dobermans to kidnap the wife and daughter.
Couldn't they just be like, what are the dogs add? Yes. kidnap the wife and daughter. Yeah.
Couldn't they just be like, what are the dogs?
We have guns.
Yes, what are the dogs at?
The problem with them, they haven't been able to kidnap the wife and daughter, not because
they haven't had a scary dog with them.
It's because they haven't found them yet.
So when you find them, just get them because you're henchmen with guns.
That's, you don't need the dog.
Which leads us to believe they looked for them in the house and we're like, ah, they're
at the recital. You know what? If we're going to go all the way across town, let's pick up
the Robo dogs on the way.
I'll put the fucking kidnapping. Right. So they take them away. They take the kidnap,
the, the wife and child and put them into a helicopter to fly away and Arnold, real
Arnold that we are supposed to believe is clone Arnold sees that happening. So here's I wanted to set that up because it is kind of funny
because they're watching the recital and they're like, wait a minute, isn't our daughter in this part,
I guess? Like she's supposed to be fucking kid dressed as bear number five. I don't know. They know
the recital, right? And then she's like, I'm going to go check just in case, which I love because
it implies that Arnold's like, okay, good, I don't want to miss any of this.
I need to watch the other kids doing fucking, they're nothing right now.
So thanks, honey.
It's like he's watching the football game and she's gonna like go check on it.
So that's why only she is there.
And then I think eventually Arnold must realize, oh, I'm just a guy watching other people's
kids do a dumb fucking thing.
This is the worst.
I'm going to go check if a crime is happening because that would be more fun.
That would make worse sense.
Hopefully my family's being kidnapped, so I have a reason to leave.
And yes, Taylor.
Yeah.
So he goes outside and he sees this happening just barely.
He sees a helicopter flying away with his family that just got thrown inside.
And he runs back into the building to call the cops.
So he calls 911 on a future like screen Skype phone thing.
And he gets an automated menu like a really bad 911 automated menu.
I wrote in my notes in the future 911 puts you on hold and I wrote,
okay, that's also true. It's okay.
Yeah, predicting a lot of stuff. They might as well have had the bot be like, So it's in the future 911 puts you on hold and I wrote, okay, that's also true. It's okay.
Yeah.
You're predicting a lot of stuff.
They might as well have had the bot be like, hi, you've reached 911.
Unfortunately, the woke left is defunded us.
So I am a robot who can't help you.
If you would like James Lindsay doing accorradiate to save you instead, just speak to a human.
Oh my God.
This is worse.
Operator.
Right. So this is where real Arnold and
clone Arnold meet up. So the one we believe is the real one is actually the clone. He shows
up at the school now. Okay. What would you to I want to ask you forget everything you
know about this movie. What would you say you walk into a room. You see clone you. What
do you say? I'm crazy.
Yeah, I was just like, what the fuck?
Well, no, I'm in a world of clones.
Clones are everywhere.
I'd be like, oh, someone cloned me.
Hi, someone cloned me.
Yeah.
Oh, shit, a clone.
Yeah, instead he says, who the hell are you?
So that's not, that's the one thing you wouldn't say.
Like, you know, that's you.
You're looking at it.
It's another you.
You don't say like, oh, who of me is that doesn't make it
we should fuck right? I feel like that's the move. In this movie's universe, this is like walking into a room and finding an
iPhone and being like, what the fuck is this?
Right, but Arnold punches clone Arnold because he's mad that clone Arnold.
That's who's sleeping with my wife.
I sleep in his wife.
Yeah.
Actually, it's the reverse.
We it's my wife.
Twist learned at the end.
I want to know.
Yeah.
That's for not sleeping with my wife.
I've very sexual jealousy.
Doesn't really work at this.
Is it?
I know.
Okay.
Sorry.
Okay.
We're on the same team now.
We're on the same team. So both Arnold's or team now. It is weird that Arnold is not able to comprehend the fact that like,
if you don't know who the clone is, you're agnostic about that. It's both your wife. Like,
you can't be mad. You both have the same wife and the same memories. You're the same person.
Yeah. Why you mad at the other guy for being you? You're you. You're mad at yourself right now.
Sexual jealousy doesn't make sense without clones. It especially doesn't make sense with
clothe.
I feel like we just need to team up sexually. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll talk about it later.
We have to do the thing with the bad guy, but yes, yes, team up for sex.
Let's move to Portland. Okay.
We'll talk about it.
Right. So they call Drucker to set up the big trade. They're going to trade their sincording memory evidence
floppy disk for the wife and daughter at 10 o'clock that night.
Yeah.
What are they going to do until that sigh? We will go to catch a movie. And I was going
to see what my back looked like. I was really curious. But we'll see what like.
Matt, they're doing the three course menu at TGI Fridays. I want to do that.
10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, definitely going to whack each other off a few times just to see
how's your Sunday looking?
Oh, I got to catch Johnny Phoenix playing tonight.
I play fantasy football Sunday is the one.
Monday.
So they got over to the helicopter place where they're making bombs. Again, there
will later be a single line about him being in the rainforest war. So this is just a helicopter
pilot who knows how to make bombs, apparently. It's, is it, I thought it was bombs. It's
thermite, though, right? They're, they're mixing up thermite. Yeah, that was a great weapon
in the rainforest wars. 20 out fucking 45 or whatever.
You remember when we burned down that rainforest with the thermite?
Straight top to bottom. Here's the thing. It's thermite in this scene. I was like, oh, okay,
it's thermite. I get it. It will actually be a bomb in the movie. No. I think it just melts the
oxygen tanks and the oxygen tanks for the bomb, right? Oxygen doesn't melt that hot, but we get.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Steel oxygen tank.
George Bush is just behind him taking notes about his thermite.
I need this for the not so near future.
If you know what I mean, this will be near 2000.
And this is where we get again, one Arnold acting in a scene with normal people, you can
almost pull it off.
You can always be like, oh, yeah, that's a guessing human.
Two Arnold's Arnolding together is a singularity of tin.
Like it's just, it's, yeah, it's unbelievable.
It's so funny.
If you ever put like a pair of sneakers in a dryer, that's what the scene sounds like.
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
Yeah, you're not using enough aluminum. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
You're not using enough aluminum.
Yes, I am using enough aluminum.
No, you're not.
Fucking God.
Not, not.
Who's there?
I wonder if they had to protect Arnold from seeing himself at where Arnold was like, oh, so you're going to show me the screen where I did the other time.
Now, we'll have a stand in, dude.
I don't think you want to say no, show me my line.
Now, honestly, if you told me Arnold was forbidden from seeing his daily, it makes a lot more
sense about his cinematic career.
But so the whole thing there is they're setting up a thermite device to melt down the entire
toning lab.
Never, maybe.
No, okay.
Sorry to ruin your fun, but they did specifically do a camera shot of the oxygen tanks.
And it was Arnold like, ah, I'll remember that for later.
So I can thermite the oxygen tanks.
I was watching this movie on like seven times speed.
Okay.
Fair, fair. I was watching this movie on like seven times speed. Okay.
Fair, fair.
But yes, I think the idea is that they're going to, they're going to go melt down the cloning factory
thing.
Yes.
So now we cut back to that lab and Dr. Weir, Robert DeVol is yelling at Drucker because his
wife died and he, he's finding out he realized that Drucker somehow was sneaking the cancer DNA
into the blank clone bodies and he used one of those to make his wife.
So his wife got cystic fibrosis, even that's a kid disease.
Oh, this is the best.
This is the best.
So not only that, the evil doctor that's like, you know, Steve Jobs or whatever, that guy,
it's not just that he put a fail safe of like, oh, yeah, in five years, one of the jeans
will fucking explode or some shit.
He gave them like a popery of different diseases for just for fun.
Yeah, that one will get fucking ball cancer.
That one's liver is just going to blow up.
Like, I don't know why you would do that.
And it's even funnier because the whole tragedy
of the one good actor in this film, Robert DuValle,
is the thing with his wife, you know, she's got the disease.
And again, it would have made so much more sense.
If the whole thing was like, yeah, you can't actually clone people,
it doesn't work for whatever, for any reason.
Pick a reason.
Oh, the copying process, it gives them disease, whatever.
Exactly.
Instead, what happened was this, the evil guy accidentally made a boo boo when cloning his best friend's
wife accidentally gave her a disease.
Meanwhile, Arnold will find out later, no disease, no disease.
So it's not like every clone has a disease problem.
It's almost like he was like, God, I fucking hate this guy's wife.
I'm gonna, oops, press the fucking fire,
it's a street fire, doesn't button while cloning your wife.
It's a planned obsolescence thing,
like a fucking iPhone, right?
How they like speed him up and put too much stuff on it.
So you can't, you're not up great eventually.
That's what he's done with cloning.
Again, it's not a problem with cloning.
So cloning is still a good and moral thing to do.
Totally fine. It's just he updated the iOS on his wife too early and now she's so fucked.
I don't think DNA has a fuse for cancer like that though. I don't think it's like five year cancer fuse
because you have a certain strand of DNA. Oh, so funny. But yeah, that's when Robert DuVall is like, well, I'm not gonna bring her back
and I'm not gonna bring anyone back ever again.
And truckers like, why?
That's insane.
You're an insane person.
So yeah, okay, you're what, fine.
I'll go with you on your wife,
has a personal preference not to be a clone.
So we fuck all the kids that are dying of brain cancer,
right? Yes.
I'm Robert DuVall. Also, it doesn't, I mean, like you can quit if you like, we have the facility that you,
it's invented and going. Yeah.
You don't, you, you just like stand next to it now.
Yeah. Retire.
Go to do what Obama did. Go, go to Parasail with the version, version guy.
Right. And then evil rich guy makes an amazing point.
He's like, okay, well, I'm going gonna kill you and your wife and clone both of you without
the memory of the last few days.
So you're happy and you're back.
Yep.
I have my notes.
Oh, the bad guy is right here.
He does a perfect thing where he says, okay, you know what's happened here is your wife
discovers she's a clone and a sick clone.
And by the way, it's perfectly rational to think, hey, maybe what's influencing her thinking
is that she accidentally got a horrible disease and died
and that apparently is not mandatory.
Like, you could just be a totally healthy clone.
Yeah.
Here's what we're gonna do, Robert Javall.
I'm gonna kill you, reset you back to before
we had this conversation, reset your wife back
to before she knew she had a horrible disease
and then we'll all be happy
and our decades-long friendship will be preserved
to which Robert
Duval says, you defiance of God.
No question mark for some reason.
What?
No idea.
What really should have happened was Robert Duval realized that this could happen and he
should have been dropping hints to the guy so that's not his fault.
Like, man, I'm definitely, I promised my wife.
Current me now, by the way, has a memory of promising my wife, Wink Wink, that I would
never bring her back.
And I right now, with my memories, right, oh, that's a backup of me from before I had
this memory.
By the way, oh yeah, that's sitting on your desk right there.
Yeah, I don't know why I put that there.
Anyway, current me, promise my wife, that I can't copy her again. Like you would, that's what you would do. You would, you
would want your friend to do this to you, right? Yeah. Of course. It's ethically fine.
You, you didn't do it. Absolutely. No, it's ethically required to do this. Absolutely.
Absolutely. Absolutely. 100%. All right. We're all decided. All right. Yeah. Team cloning,
100% team bad guy cloning.
They're the good guys.
We're gonna take one more quick break
and then we'll be back with, I guess the movie
has one more chance to tell us the good guys they won't.
Pfft.
Hi, Mr. Swanson.
Yeah, yeah, that's me.
Hi, yeah, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss,
but you're at rewife.
We'll have your beautiful wife back in your arms in no time.
God, I want nothing more in the world.
Great. Great. Now before we get started, are there any changes you'd like to make?
No, God, no. Just just my beautiful Donna back in my arms alive again.
Really? Just not like just exactly the same. Nothing she ever complained about that she might like to wake up to
being different, something like that. Maybe but if she would want. I know she's perfect and I
gosh, I wouldn't change a thing. Okay. Okay. Just to be clear, we're a genetic modification facility.
We can make any changes to your wife that you'd like.
I mean, we can even make it like she was always like that.
Wait, so she wouldn't know I made any change?
No, she would not.
Okay, I'm gonna need about a half hour to,
yeah, go ahead and take a time with that,
right out of list.
I'll be back in a little bit.
Is, do you know what foot stuff is one word or is that two words?
Two words foot stuff.
Yeah, two words.
Just, we actually have a check box.
We have a check box for that.
Oh, I see it.
Yeah, thank you. He he he he he he he he he great point, actually. I think you are. We are.
Dude, they've been at this for hours.
I know, I know they have. Thank goodness I have my Raycon wireless earbuds.
Wait, what are Raycon wireless earbuds?
God damn it, that doesn't count. We were distracted. Exactly. Yes, we were distracted. That doesn't count.
Raycon wireless earbuds are the best way to bring audio with you because no matter how much you shake things up,
literally no matter how much you shake, you know they won't fall out of your ears.
Their everyday earbuds look feel and sound better than ever.
Okay.
Anyway, back to our argument.
This is very important.
There is also an awareness mode for when you need to listen to your surroundings so you
can take Raycons with you wherever you go.
Like in case I wanted to hear this.
Exactly.
If you wanted to hear this.
I wear the Raycons they set me when I work out, when I jog,
and they know BUDGE.
It's the best.
As the battery life, Raycons offer eight hours of play time
and a 32 hour battery life.
And their price just right.
You get quality audio at half the price
of other premium audio brands.
If you look at this PowerPoint
on the purpose of the point system, yes, please do.
I think we should look at that PowerPoint.
The pros and cons of the board.
Right now, because on all the movies, listeners get 15% off their
Raycon order at by raycon.com slash cam. That's by raycon.com slash cam to say 15% on
Raycons by raycon.com slash cam. All right. He like those headphones are great. I still
don't know how we're going to get rid of this clone heath though. Don't worry about it. He's only got one PS5 controller and they usually end up fighting
to the death over it. That's true. We do. We do. I'm totally going to murder you.
Not if I murder you first for the PS5. I'll do. You want to make it out?
And we're back. And now it's time for the big trade, but Arnold was ready for a ruse by the bad guys.
So he has a ruse of his own.
He's hovering a helicopter over his helipad at his office with his remote control thing.
And he's definitely in the helicopter, right?
Because you need to be in it to fly it, right?
You have to be in it.
Only there had been some kind of helicopter based foreshadowing.
Yeah.
Chekov's power glove.
Chekov's power glove. That's power glove comes to play here.
I love how much this implies that the henchman and the bad guy, how little they think of Arnold Schwarzenegger's
mental acuity here where they're like, well, definitely he wouldn't have any other plan,
but to hover right in front of us with the helicopter. And by the way, the disc that is the entire
blackmail material. So we'll shoot it right now, because that could own, he's that dumb. Like, there's no way he has any other plan.
Yeah. So their entire plan was just like, okay, step out of their car and shoot the helicopter
with lasers. It falls, it explodes. It's a file. Like, we know in this world that it's a file
that his blackmail, he could have just copied it or emailed it to somebody like, no, he's holding the file. It's in his hand. We'll shoot it. The whole thing and blow it up
lasers. So that's what they do. Yeah. But he wasn't inside. No. Okay. But the plan from
Arnold's side is super dumb too. He's just, that was a big waste of a helicopter to prove
the bad guys were the bad guys. Or what if they
had said, yes, what if he had been in the helicopter and he'd been like, give me my family
and they'd open the door and his family is there to be like, do it. Shit, I met your
office. Um, I did a bluff. Give me 20 minutes to catch an Uber. I'll be right there.
Don't shoot my helicopter down while I'm there doing the dessert and you're Fridays.
Yeah.
So they shoot the thing down.
He wasn't inside and they call the big boss, Drucker, to be like, we didn't get the
sing-cording evidence memory thing.
Yeah, he's not quite as dumb as we thought.
He's got a different finale.
He's not as dumb as we thought.
Yeah.
He didn't fall for that box held up by a stick with his family that we put underneath
it.
So he's probably at your building.
Right.
Yeah.
So Arnold's plan is he flies to Drucker's building and lands his helicopter on the roof
and then pretends to be the pilot taxi driver on his way down to pick up Drucker for something.
So the security guards like, yeah, go ahead.
He walks into the building.
Right. So he gets into Drucker's office and this is the time for their big face off.
Yeah. This is where the Drucker shows him that he's got his family kidnapped in a conference room.
Yeah. And I just love the image of them like with hoods over their heads being escorted into
conference room B. And like there's already a meeting going on in there and it's like, oh,
I'm so sorry. We had this space for a kidnapping. We're just wrapping up here.
Right, but we have the space.
It's on the Google calendar.
It's on the thing outside.
This is the West Room.
It's we have the, it's an asset within Outlook
and we have booked that.
Follow the fucking rules, please.
We're doing a kidnapping.
We need this room.
We're doing a kid, we can't do a kidnapping
in one of the breakout rooms.
And tell you what, can we do the meeting around you?
They don't have to do anything other than sit there with the hoods on their heads.
But we will do the meeting around that.
We already have a Japan on the line.
We got to get that office in.
Just do the whole thing around them.
They know a thing to the woman.
I don't know if you can tell you kidnapped children in the corner.
That's what we're doing is get double booking.
Where your battered
business business. Right. But he confronts him. He's like, I've got your family. And he's
like, Oh, will I have the disc? Maybe I gave it to no, he gave it to his clone. Yes.
Yes. And I love this line. This is the best. This is classic gaslighting. Fuck it thing.
The guy, the bad guy says, looks like we both went back on our word. Like, yeah, but the order of it kind of matters here.
Like I showed up with helicopter and you gunned it down instantly.
So now, yes, I am going back on my word now.
Like I now I didn't bring the thing to you, but like you did that first.
Do you understand?
Like, yeah, I actually blew up.
I had my helicopter get blown up to prove that you're the bad guy.
It's a good.
It was obvious, but like I proved it.
You did it.
You're bad for sure.
But this is where the bad guy reveals that he's the clone.
They reproduced his shaving scar.
And again, this is where they explain the thermite and the scar from your war wound.
You know from earlier, your tree related scar from the rainforests.
Yeah, from the rainforests warm.
But okay, hold on.
How does the bad guy know he's talking to the clone instantly?
There's no way he would know that, but he's just like confidently.
Yeah, you're the clone.
Why?
I don't fucking know.
Just you're the clone.
I don't know.
Right.
This is also where we learn that they mark their clones on their eyelid.
Yes.
Like generationally.
And so he tells the girl, the side boob girl, hey, how many times you've been cloned, I've
lost count.
And then that says like, okay, fine, sure.
And then one second later, he goes, show him, show him your markings on the way, how many
times you've been cloned.
She opens her eye.
Four.
Four. Right. You lost count at at four you're saying you can't I really want a
dumb henchman to pull his eye down and she got like 600 doubts on it I actually
I have to do both eyes and spread my butt cheeks a scroll comes out he's Michael B. Jordan in a flat panther. All this fucking marks all over him.
Four though. She can't, she lost count of four.
I could like, I could keep track of dying four times.
Now if it was 40, yeah, might lose track.
Yeah. Four. Okay.
And we also get another philosophy speech
where the bad guy wins.
Yep. Bad guys are undefeated in this movie.
Yeah, absolutely.
He's like, yeah, I'm conquering death.
You get that, right?
Like, we could still have Mozart and MLK.
And Arnold's like, no, God decides.
You have to let God's Arnold's literal response to Martin Luther King could still be alive
is you should pull clone yourself so you could
fuck yourself. Yeah, this is my best first. He actually said that. Yeah. That's the big
finish line. Right after he said, no, God intended to murder Martin Luther King. I'm right.
He ends that with a big closer mic drop line mic drop line of like, you should clone yourself,
so you can go fuck yourself.
Yeah.
One, amazing line, yes.
Two, would you guys want to fuck yourself?
Would you, like,
like, real, if you could clone yourself,
would you want to have sex with yourself a clone?
Well, this, this is a very obvious.
My answer is no.
Thomas' answer should be yes.
Your answer is yes, but should be no. We represent the perfect. Okay. I like that. That's you're correct, but I would like us to have
thought it through. It's fine. That's fine. Look, you're, you're wording it wrong. What I want to
fuck myself. No, I don't want to, but like what, what are my options here? What, you know, like,
am I buy myself on a Friday night and just mean my clone? Let's say you, let's say somebody gets
you a group on
for a clone, you don't have to pay the 1.2 million.
You just have it if you want.
I'm still would rather have sex with, you know,
my wife than me, but like I'm saying,
but say she leaves for the weekend, you know?
I'm like, okay, she's gone.
You know, do I want to masturbate?
Yeah, I mean, I guess I'd rather, you know,
like that's the answer for me.
It's the same as masturbating.
Great questions.
Yes.
So like a Dutch writer thing?
I think I do a Dutch writer with him.
Yeah.
I'm getting to that.
I don't know what that is, but that's where you're doing the hand on them.
They're doing the hand on you.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Yeah, duh.
That's absolutely.
Of all the hells that I've imagined for you to experience, Keith, being in a relationship
with yourself is the coolest thing.
But what you're moving his arm so that his hand is on you,
but you're doing them arm motion.
All I want in my life is to see clone heath
not answering a text from regular heat.
Yeah, from regular heat.
Right? Just regular heat comes in.
I was thinking maybe we could,
we were going to jack each other off today, but you didn't
answer back with the test.
And other heat is like, yeah, no, my not answering was me saying, yes.
Yeah.
And then clone he is like, that's insane.
How would I know that you not answering me would be you saying?
Yes.
Clone needs to be like, this makes perfect sense.
Let's do the masturbation thing now.
That's awesome.
We understand each other.
Why would we waste all that time on weird little texts? We could just, you know, assume that we're
all fine and we want to have sex a lot. I like that our the six day review has devolved into
he's saying, when you think about it, people tell me to fuck myself as a compliment.
I love me. Okay. Can we get to the part where they try to put Arnold's head back into the.
Yeah.
That's what I mean.
They take Arnold to their torture area that has the eyeball memory machine and they're
going to like shove them into it here.
But the two actors are nowhere close to the size of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
So you see them pushing Arnold's head.
Absolutely nothing happened.
I mean, you're going to be like, Arnold,
you need to pretend we're strong enough to me.
Unironically, my favorite part,
I like to believe that the script actually says
they shove him into the thing.
And then when shooting, I was like, I barely try.
You can, there's no way
these two people will be able to put my head in the thing. So we got
to find way to do a different thing. Like, and it's true, like there's no fucking way.
They're going to shove Arnold. He uses one of his back muscles and it's more than both
these people's entire strength, but combined because they're people. Right. The biggest mistake
Arnold Schwarzenegger movies ever make is showing Arnold Schwarzenegger in relation to an actual
human being.
Yeah.
And so this normal sized human being puts her hand against his head and it's like putting
it against the brick wall.
She's like, he's like, yeah, and they express genuine frustrated like, fucking God, get,
uh, get put the head in the, I choose to believe that wasn't acting.
Yeah.
I know Terry Cruz isn't in this scene.
Can we get Terry Cruz in this scene?
I feel like he's a pro.
That would have helped a little bit at least.
Yeah, but so the whole point is they have to put him in this thing to get his memories
and then they're going to look at that DVD of the memories to find out where he hid
the other memory evidence disc thing of the big boss guy.
And we watch, we watch them watch the memories that they get.
And apparently in this universe,
they watch the memories in the movie.
They watch the memories in the movie.
And memories have like a three camera setup we learn.
Oh yeah, memories are 4K, HDR, fully.
Cause like it matters that they're doing,
like they basically do his memories
and they do like enhance enhance and they see like, oh, and even though he tried to fake
us out by saying other Arnold was going to hide the recording, he actually snuck back on
the helicopter and the way we know is, I guess in Arnold's mind, he has a perfect 4K HD
memory of the reflection of himself. Look, is this just me or everyone like, I don't know about you guys.
My brain doesn't keep a detailed digital recording of everything I've seen.
It just doesn't like it.
I don't make mental notes of little reflections that would fuck up the plot that I'm working
on to coil bad guys.
My brain somewhere would be like you fooled them.
It would be like a memory in my brain somewhere would be like you fooled them would be like a memory in my brain.
And they'd be like, why does it say you fooled them in his brain?
Just in bloc letters. Yeah, that's how my memory works. It'd be like, you got them.
I remember that I did that. So they notice as they're watching through this that, oh, it's both Arnold's
in the helicopter. They're both in the building. And he calls this security guy, big boss.
He's like, okay, remember when I told you to put out a security warning for a guy who looks
like Arnold Schwarzenegger, do that again. We continue to also be on the lookout for, well,
the same guy, but double more. There's one more still. Yeah. So meanwhile,
other Arnold, and I'm not keeping track of who's the clone and who's the real Arnold.
There's other Arnold is rescuing his family. Yep. He's interrupting the conference call.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I'm not here. It's okay. Yeah. No, to sales numbers are up this quarter.
Yeah. I agree. So it's fine. I'm
just taking these hooded people out.
She's going to take this wife and daughter and they have this fucking amazing moment. They
get out into the helipad and he's like, now look, I don't want my child to have to see
any violence. So you guys just let us go. And they're like, did he turn into Borat?
They're for sure. Yeah, he's a little boy. And they're like, okay, yeah, my wife, my wife, my wife, my wife, my wife to see any violence.
And they just let him go. And at this point, like the movie didn't have a purpose anymore.
Right? So the, the real Arnold and his family had escaped. My notes at this point are just,
what's the other clone going to do? Just fucking hang out. Yeah.
I think it's a diabolical move by real Arnold to like let him believe he's, let the other
guy believe he's real Arnold.
And so that it matters that he gets out as well.
And then the last minute, he should be like, heck, clone Arnold is fucked in there.
He should just blow himself up and then end of movie.
That would have been diabolical.
That's what I thought was, I actually thought was going to happen is that
Clonear was going to be like, I'm not the real on a boom.
But no, we're going to spend another 10 minutes of this movie hoping that
Clonear will make it out as well.
Yeah, for some reason.
Yeah.
So he shoots bad guy and then we have this
Haynefully slow series where bad guys going to transfer himself to a new body, but
because real Arnold has set up the thermite on the oxygen tanks and was also around the
water tanks, the clone is only going to come out like underbaked like making yourself
impatient cookies.
Love it.
And Arnold starts swimming around in the pool of the blanks.
Weird.
By the way, didn't even take off his jacket.
Like, wouldn't you take off your bomber jacket if you're going to jump in clone water?
Like, when that way you down?
Yeah.
He does a thing where he steals an oxygen tube.
And I love it because Arnold is just incapable of communicating as an actor.
So he tries to communicate like, I all the breath like underwater by going like
like is mouth you know and then it gets an oxygen tube. He sucks in the oxygen and then he does an
act a face acting thing as though like that's like shit oxygen like that's fart oxygen.
Yeah. I didn't say is that a yucky flavored oxygen. I saw as like did he is that the wrong is he
gonna die was it the wrong tube. No just that's what his acting choice for that I guess. I saw it as like, did he, is that the wrong, is he gonna die?
Was it the wrong tube?
No, just that's what his acting choice for that, I guess.
I don't know.
So there was like an umbilical cord that goes to the blanks
that are in, why are they in water?
Okay, I have the same note.
Okay, great question.
They're in water, but they're in sealed bags that are in water.
What is the function of the water?
Freshness.
But they're in a bag though.
I feel like it would be oil then.
And they don't breathe, why the oxygen,
I don't understand, they breathe, I have whatever.
I don't know.
And then as this movie's ending wasn't confusing enough,
Arnold Lance hails attacks real Arnold,
Lance with his family, hails a taxi,
and heads back to the bad guy area to
save his clone clone him.
Yeah, that's pretty hard.
I yeah, I wouldn't you just be like, well, that problem solved.
God, this is a perfect ending.
What if I'm real?
Me is with my family.
Other clone is fucked.
Great.
End of story credits.
Yeah.
But we have to have this ending. So 84% done bad
guy looks like a Gringot's goblin for some reason. He also shoots the computers with all the back
ups here because apparently in the future, there's no Wi-Fi or Amazon Web Services. They did not
predict the cloud this movie. They didn't get that one. They sure did not. I wanted to see the like Gringot's like the wet half skinless
Drucker. Like he thinks he thinks that if he survives this, it'll be fine. And he would
be like doing press conferences.
This is like a wet zombie guy. That's the best. That's what I want. I want an Elon Musk
S series of tweets where it's like, there have been mean rumors that I am now at half baked clone. None of this is true at Bernie Sanders.
At Joe Rogan experience. Have me on again. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.
Oh, we probably should do the joke callback. Oh, is that now? Or yes. Yes. So that he gets
into one last fight with bad guy clone. This is where we get the
call back. He punches his clone, the half-baked clone into the still dying bad guy and does
the like, yeah, I didn't mean to screw yourself literally.
Fine. Yeah. It has to say screwed. Which do you don't need to tell us the joke? I'm an
intelligent human. You could you don't need to I got the joke
once you put punched him into the missionary position. I got it. You didn't need to be like
Remember before when I I consider the F word but before I did say
Do a screw yourself and now look you're screwing us off. I'm gonna watch your faces together like a kiss
places together like a kiss and I'm giving myself a swoosh. That's big. He sees two corpses,
one half skinless wet zombie on top of the corpse. He thinks of active human being fucking. That's like, he's like, oh, this is just like what I said, we do it. It's screw. Sorry.
Oh, by the way, I know that this half-backed clone is supposed to be a Kronenberg-esque horror that we should
be scared of. Only problem is it's a tenth is scary. It's the fucking doll that was supposed
to be the cutesy thing of this movie. Oh my God.
Sim Girl Sally has a lot more terror to her than this like, what if he had done the like
shown the computer screen? It was like clone 60%ing, canceling, you know, oh no, and then it comes out and it's that doll
and you're like, ah, it's just Simgro Sally, I know it!
It's just his personality,
but in that fucking Simgro Sally, oh my God,
talk about horror.
Okay, much better movie.
Yep.
Okay, so now Arnold, his plan is to blow up
this entire building and in his head,
I guess he's gonna erase the concept of cloning
as a technology by making this building melt
with thermite.
Yep, yep, he set up a very slow burning fuse
on the thermite on the oxygen tank.
Yeah, which has to reset itself several times
because they didn't get out in time.
You know, the somehow the white fuse, intelligent fuse.
Oh, you're not out, okay, hold on, let me restart.
I already know I already did, I'll burn more.
It's fine, I'll figure it out. A road runner keeps running by it and pinching it out.
I'll work around you. I know I'm a fuse that's not alive, but I fucking, you can't shoot this
properly. So I will work around you. So they they boring laser gun fight clone jumps on to regular
Arnie's helicopter and they they make it away. and I just wrote my notes. Honestly, if this movie was a prequel to a sitcom about double Arnold dads trying to raise their
kid, I would watch the crap out of it. Literally when they both made it, I wrote my notes. Who cares?
Yeah, we got a, we got a great scene of the helicopter almost going to hit a building and they did
the like same shot several times so that like the fuse, the helicopter would have hit the building four or five times, but
they just reset the footage.
And then Arnold flot catches, he climbs in the helicopter and then I guess pushes the
don't stall button because it says like, oh no, we're going to stall, stalling, stalling
and then he just pushes a button and then it's not stall.
Something. Yeah. Seems like just have that button always and then it's not stall. Yeah.
Seems like just have that button always press down or something.
Yeah.
Yeah, just should be an automatic button.
This whole thing.
Fun fact, don't stall button uses the exact same technology as the euro about to get
blitz screen.
Yeah.
Very important.
Yeah.
So they don't stall because you pressed the button and they made it.
And then we cut to them hanging out at their office together talking about
clone philosophy, some more.
It's so good because the movie has happened as though it's happened in real time.
And now it's like, well, I guess the movie is over.
What what the fuck do you do now?
Now that there's two of us, that seems super stupid, right?
Yeah, no, super stupid.
And so clone Arnold is like, am I really a human?
Do I have a soul?
And so, I mean, yes, no, those are the answers to those questions.
And real Arnold is like, well, no, you had your DNA tested and you had zero defects.
Yeah.
Here's DNA tested and the test didn't say like solace freak somehow. Like that wasn't what the computer screen returned.
Not only did it not say that he had a perfect DNA score.
I got a hundred score on it.
Cause when I, when I think of perfect DNA, I think of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Oh, wow.
I really wanted them to like be working out a custody agreement here.
I was like, okay, so I will be in my family one day, Wednesdays at Friday.
Yes.
Well, they kind of do.
He let's him.
Yeah, he let's him say goodbye to his family.
I just think the clone is taking this remarkably well, you know?
Yeah.
I do feel like you would have the battle of like, yeah, I'll show I'm a clone, but I'm
also you.
So I will kill you and take the family. You know, like, why wouldn't why not work at a custody situation?
Yeah. Or a fun sexual scenario that they're all into. Here's my question for you, fellas.
Did he ever tell his wife? Does wife ever know any of about any of this?
I don't think so. I think I'm going gonna say no. Yeah. Did she cheat on him technically?
No.
No.
Did he cheat on her?
I feel like he cheat.
He didn't fuck anybody in the movie.
He didn't fuck each other.
That's right.
That was just the 18 scenes of almost fucking.
That was just in your imagination.
I didn't even all of your notes for every scene of this film.
Pretty funny though.
If that happened to me,
that would be a weird thing to keep to yourself
in your marriage.
Okay, like not gonna ever tell my wife about the time
I was cloned and the clone almost had sex with you
and all that, I guess just, yeah, keep it,
keep it close to the vest.
What if you have sex with,
what if you go fuck yourself with your clone?
Is that cheating on your spouse?
No, that's masturbating.
That's masturbating. No, that's masturbating. That's masturbating.
No, that's sex with a whole other human, isn't it?
No, it's just masturbating.
If they ran the DNA of the product that came from any of that sex, scientists would be like,
there's only one person here.
Yeah.
So it's masturbation, you know?
That's how you figure out masturbation.
That's how you figure out masturbation.
I asked Andrew for the legal type of comment. It's figure out masturbation. That's exactly Andrew. I asked Andrew for the legal type of comments masturbation.
Yep.
That's the definition.
There's a lot of this come though.
That seems that's just one guy that does come a lot.
Maybe three or four is a big comeer.
He just, you know, drinks a lot of your hydrates.
Okay.
So I think we nailed the philosophy of the movie.
And now we're going to wrap it up back at the family house.
And Arnold brought Michael Rapoport's repet cat
to the house, because he's cool with repets now.
Yeah.
To be clear, he did not bring his friend, Michael Rapoport,
back to life.
He destroyed all the technology that could save him.
He's dead.
Just like God and that Christian fundamentalist terrorist intended. He has not a good friend. I'll say not a good friend. No.
Yep, so the movie lands on it's cool to clone
animals, it's cool to clone everything except for a human. Is that where they landed?
Well, and it's cool to clone a human
because Arnold ended up fine and the test said totally fine.
Has the soul.
Everything's great.
And he lives.
So it's actually it's all fine and Arnold killed
a cloning technology for no reason is the message.
Yeah, weird.
Great.
And then we watch the the movie and rewind really quick.
They like flip.
Oh my god.
Backwards.
Why?
And I don't know what, why?
Like we're not, there was no memory moment happening, like the clone Arnold wasn't
doing anything with that.
Maybe our memory of the movie was being uploaded to our clothes.
Interesting.
I feel like they could skip that for me.
I was good to say, if there's one thing I want to save my clone from, it would be the
memory of the fucking terrifying horrible goddamn guncanny valley
girl Sally. Yeah, please erase that from my mind. All right, my dreams. Yeah, so that's the end.
What's the moral of the story? Cloning is bad for some reason except when it's not so kill it all
and kill a bunch of people just in case, but also it's fine.
Okay. Cloning is fine. Eli, where'd you lead?
Same girl, Sally. Okay. Got it. Got it. More of the story is the terrifying doll.
That's going to do it for our review of the sixth day, but it's not going to do it for the episode
just yet because we found another terrible movie and we want to tell you about it. So Eli, what's on deck? Originally released under the title Holocaust 2000.
Oh, do they change the tone? Yeah, can't imagine why they changed it. We'll be watching the 1977
cult classic, the chosen lovely. Well, we've thought to look forward to we're going to bring episode 342 to a merciful close.
Big thanks to Thomas for joining us in case anyone's new, where can they hear more Thomas?
Opening arguments, seriously inquiries only, check those out, philosophers in space, big
opening arguments recently released.
Go check that feed, very important stuff.
O A, O O, all right.
And of course, a big thanks to our Patreon donors for all the generosity. If you'd like to help support the show, you can make a per episode donation at Patreon be All the podcast places, if you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email GodOffalmoviesatgeema.com, legal services to the podcast
are provided by the offices of P. 100 Torres,
a theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slotick
of Evil Drafts on Mars.
Although the music was written and performed
by our audio engineer Morgan Clark and was used
with permission.
Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week,
but Thomas and Eli Amheeth,
Thomas is going to work hard to earn another chunk next week.
Until then, we'll leave you with the animal house clothes.
Right, for this clip, I'm gonnaover. And last one. Mm-hmm.
Shortly after this movie, we made Arnold the governor
of our state.
What's up, Mr. Steeke?
How you doing?
That's a thing we did.
For sure.
We did that.
And it wasn't the worst governor, but I guess like why?
Why, though.
Why did it?
It's a weird bar.
Yeah.
Also, I'd like to add to everyone who hates cloning
Don't worry. We're not gonna clone you
Eli found a reproduction of sim girl Sally on the internet during this record and hidden in Thomas's bedroom
What what?
No, okay, yeah, how funny. No, but for real.
Did you? Did you tell me if you did that? I can't, I can't, I can't go in the room.
I can't. Hey, podcast listener. We just cut out.
45 minutes of time is screaming.
The preceding podcast is production of Puzzle and Thunderstorm LLC,
copyright 2022. All rights reserved.
by guest is production of Puzzle and on Thunderstorm LLC,
Copyright 2022, all rights reserved.