God Awful Movies - 403: Left Behind 2: Rise of the Antichrist

Episode Date: May 9, 2023

This week, the guys team up for an atheist review of Left Behind: Rise of the Antichrist (2023). In what may just be peak-GAM, we're watching a Kevin Sorbo remake of a Kirk Cameron classic, and it's everything we hoped it would be. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

I Just Kevin Sorbo. Hey Kevin. You want to improvise a Jewish person's name? Moishi? Hanukkah bagel. Yes I will tell you he I want to congratulate you for coming up with something more stereotypical than the name because as I was watching the movie I tried to write the joke you just delivered so expertly and I was like no, I am roast and Swipe to write the joke you just delivered so expertly and I was like nope I am roasting slightly better than anything else. The other ones yes. No lots of my friends are that's his last name.

Funny. Some of my best friends are. Minister funny New York man. Not awful. Movie. Movie. Movie. OOVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII the perfect movie. It is sort of a peak us in so many ways. Yeah. And sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnick Eli, how are you this fine afternoon, sir?

In bliss Noah, complete. Ready to pass from this world. So I can tie happy. And speaking of bliss, I should point out that this is May, which means it's May, tree on the time of the year where we remind you to head over to patreon.com slash God awful and help us keep doing the show. When you become a patron, you get instant access to over 80 secular bonus episodes with a new one coming every month. Plus you get access to our annual pajama party live stream. And depending on your donation level, Eli might even fuck your dad.

There's a lot of great stuff going on there. Be sure to check the show. Instant access. What an amazing view. Fuck yeah even fuck your dad. There's a lot of great stuff going on there. Be sure to check the show. It's in access. What an evil fuck. Yeah. To your dad. Eli fucks your dad. What a hell.

Yeah, there it is. Okay. Yep. So with that out of the way, tell us what will we be breaking down today? We watched left behind rise of the antichrist. It's the story of how Tucker Carlson was right about everything he ever said ever released in January of this year. That's what we came out.

Yes. Just a minute. I'm so happy that we didn't watch it then. I'm so happy that we waited until after Tucker got fired for this review. Perfect. Right? Look, credit were credit, too. We've watched a lot of pseudo prophecy movies. This one kind of nails it.

Yes, at least that part. If you get the exact opposite of a prophecy, that is nailing it in some sense. Exactly. Exactly. They don't know, but. And Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you've watched 11 apocalypse is minimum and you thought the genre had nothing to surprise you with Buckle in Bucky because

let's find two is coming for you. Yeah. No, this one's got a lot going to it. But so here's the thing we also have to warn you about right off the bat. We've watched at least a dozen raps for movies where the plan was obviously to drum up interest with the first movie and then hope to use that movie's success to finance a much more grandiose vision of the second movie. This is the first time we've seen that like done with movie two in a trilogy, right? Where the budget obviously dropped like a stone between one and two and they're trying

to do that again. They don't have those sweet, sweet, Nick Cage dollars anymore. No, interestingly enough, I saw on the IMDB trivia for this, the budget for this movie was the same as Nick Cage's salary for the first one. Oh, that's why the budget is so good on this movie. Got it. Yeah. Or just like so high budget. All right. So is there anything you guys want to nominate? This one for me and the best to be the worst at?

Oh, I got to go with best, best. Kevin Sorbo had to get vaccinated to do this movie. Like what? So angrily. So Sorbo tried to go to Calgary in Canada where this was shot and Canada was like, nope, absolutely not. You will need to get vaccinated. So he eventually agreed like in a huff to get a shot in his arms that he could shoot

the movie. Yeah, he got vaccinated to make his anti vaccine move. Yeah. Yeah. So now his come is worthless on getters, pure come. That's what you're right. It's not even true. It's not even Caucasian anymore. All right. So I was going to go with best worst narration for an idiot. So Kevin Sorbo made this movie and Kevin Sorbo is,

of course, an idiot. So like constantly he had to, he must have been saying to the screenwriters, was like, how are people going to know what's going on? to the screenwriters, was like, how are people gonna know what's going on? And the screenwriters would be like, because it's going on. Right? And he's like, I really think we need a narrator to come in and explain every single thing that we're seeing at all times throughout the movie, never once adding any real context.

And they were like, fine, man, you're the fucking director apparently. Oh, yeah, you are, baby. The movie's still going. Yeah, thanks, man, you're the fucking director apparently. Oh, yeah, you are, baby. The movie's still going. Yeah, thanks, thanks, Narrier. Thank you. And I, of course, I'm going to take the easiest and the most glorious one. I'm going to go with best worst getting distracted by your own psychopathy.

So as I hinted, the absolute nutbacks who made this movie could not stop talking about whatever loop deloop bullshit conspiracy theory was on their mind that week while they were writing this movie about their own 2000 plus year old conspiracy theory about the end of the world. They got distracted by their own modern bullshit from their ancient bullshit, and I loved it with my whole heart, and I will personally fund 11 more movies in this year. I think there were 14 books. Wow. Well, we've got a familiar trip over unfamiliar ground ahead of us. So we're going to take a quick break and figure out how the hell one packs for that. But we'll be back in a minute with all the conspiracy bullshit to sure that is left behind.

Rise of the Antichrist. You hear it, right? Again, no. Hey, guys, what's going on? He's trying to convince me to buy his expensive phones. Expensive phones? Yeah, they're the best. Nope, not the best, just more expensive.

Look, Eli, if you want great sound equipment without breaking the bank, why don't you just try Raycon. What's Raycon? Let's say Raycon is premium audio at the perfect price point, so you can listen to what you want when you want without breaking the bank. Oh, yeah. How so? Raycon's mission is to prove that you shouldn't have to pay an arm and a leg for quality

sound and an essential smart tech listening features. Heck, you can even get a pair and a spare and still pay less than you would with some of those other more big name tech brands out there. Like expensive phones, I see. Yeah, it's true. Raycon sent us a pair of their earbuds to try when they first became a sponsor. And I love that they're sweat and water resistant. Good.

Your ears sweat? Notissably sweat, yes they do. Okay, but like expensive phones come with awareness mode and tap functions. Do Raycon's have those? Say sure do. That's why I, he can write personally endorse them as a product. All right, guys, I'm sold.

Where can I get a pair? Go to buyraycon.com slashgam today to get 15% of your Raycon order. That's buyraycon.com slashgam to score 15% off. Buyraycon.com slashgam. All right. Now, all I got to do to be a super fan is get RayJay to talk about him in a dumb slash game. All right, now all I gotta do to be a super fan is get Ray Jay to talk about him in a turtle neck sweater. I don't think he's gonna do that.

Well, he should. All right, guys, we've been in this room, trying to write left behind two for four and a half hours, and we keep getting distracted talking about like the so-called COVID-19 virus. So COVID more like no-vid, right? Thank you. Dave, that's as hilarious as it is, apropos.

But come on guys, we gotta write something for the movie. Right, sorry, sorry. So, everyone's vanished, right? Did they though? Yeah, actually, great question. Thank you. No, that's not though guys, they did. Like in the movie, they did though. Right, in great question. Thank you. No, that's not though guys they did. I look in the movie they did though.

Right, right. Dude, in our movie. But well, but the government used that to control people which I think we can all agree is just like today. Yes. My cell phone's made out of lead. Wait, wait guys. What?

Don't you see? This is the movie. Wait, you mean. What? Don't you see? This is the movie. Wait, you mean like our inability to focus on anything except our political agenda, that's the movie? Exactly. And you're saying we just work in the lady faced horse lions? Yeah. I mean, Anthony Fauci.

Just like a horse locus, yes he is. I've always said that And we're back for the breakdown and we're gonna start off meeting this fucking world's least useful narrator Well, we look at aerial shots of New York City. Yeah, The opening lines of the movie are with God, all things are possible. And I wrote my notes, I mean, except for fitting your logo on the screen, I guess it was a little formatting, huh? Although Kevin Sorbo can replace Nicholas Cage. So maybe there's a good argument for God in there.

And that was my first thought. It was like anything's possible. And Nick Cage being in the second movie, no, I'll get out of anything. Yeah. So yes, so we're getting these second movie. No, okay, not anything. So yes, so we're getting these aerial shots. We've got a news reporter. This is fucking Buckercarrelson. We'll meet him a little later. His name is actually Buck. I wrote that immediately like right away when they made mention to his name. I'm like, oh, it's Buckercarrilson, but then they like so obviously made him Tucker Carlson for the rest of the fucking.

He might as well be Buck Schmarlson like. Yeah, it's great. It's so close. Yeah. It's clearly him. So yeah, but he's talking about basically he's just filling us in on everything that happens since the last movie. Now, this is technically a sequel to the airplane one that Nick Cage was in, although there

are no returning cast members. Not a single fucking one. Yeah, not even the minor characters. Nope. You think you get an extra, right? Just out of, out of spite. You'd be like, all right, fine. What's the chick that played Chloe in the first one doing?

Give me a fucking break, right? But yes, but she's doing a very important community theater piece. No washing her hair So yes, so apparently fucking schmocks shmuzer whatever is running a retro Spective on the last six months for all the people who just came out of coma since the goddamn rapture, right? Yeah And the narration tells us here a closed mind is not an easy thing to pry open. And I wrote in my notes a movie that's its second reboot of a book series about how the world is going to end any minute. Right. Yes. Yeah. The narrator's telling us about the rapture that happened

like six months ago. And he says, something impossible happened. And nope, nope. No, that's good. And the other thing he was telling us is that there was plenty of warning and he means the Bible. Right. Yup, that's it. We were just supposed to read the Bible

and learn about the rapture that's not in the fucking Bible. Right. Well, and then he's just like, you know, even after the rapture happened, most people in our country acted like it wasn't the Christian rapture, they were looking at it like, oh, that must be fucking Venus reflected off of some swamp gas or some bullshit like that

because you know, people are, you know how they get. Yeah, which is so weird because in a movie that spoiler alert will spend a lot of time doing a COVID metaphor, they didn't pick up on this one. Right. So yeah, so the narrator is like, most people just denied that it all happened, but some people just tried to figure out how to make a buck off of it. People tried to profit from the rapture. Can you fucking imagine those people said the Christian rapture in the first fucking scene.

A second reboot. Yes, yes. A book series. Right. So, but that that's the wraps up and then we cut to Kevin Sorbo watching Buckercarrows and on the news. Okay. Can we talk about Kevin Sorbo's physical appearance in this movie?

If you must. I don't think it's cool. There's a lot of people's love. He is the ninth month of a bad breakup looking shabby in this film. And the fact that he's the director makes it even sadder. He's in like an old, you ever see like an old man who always wears a suit and tie and you see him at work all the time. Like he's a school principal or something. And then you see him outside and he's wearing like a sweatshirt and you're like, Oh my God, what happened to you principal jankermans? That's how Kevin

Sorbo looks the entire film. Yeah, he looks like I believe he said long ago that he looks like old leather and that's right. That's correct. Yeah, like a catcher's mitt from like your dad from like the 40s or whatever, yeah. The narrator cuts in and he's like, I was never a big fan of Rayford Steel. And then we all had to pause to laugh for seven minutes as we recall. It's a protagonist of this book series is named Rayford Steel. Yeah. Jesus Christ. I laughed every single time they mentioned Rayford Steel. Yeah. Jesus crying. I laughed every single time they mentioned

Rayford Steel. It's so silly. Yeah. It's like all I'm gridnaed for bear trap or something. Yeah. Yeah. Gun fight. Bear crunch.

Now, Latinum bleeding edge, bazooka, fucking what's another metal truck nuts. Yeah, no, he of course is going through the closet. Smellin is wife's old clothes. Thinking about the first movie. He's like sexually caressing his dead wife's dress with his hand. Like very clearly doing like a Norman Bates scenario in his head. Yeah. No, the movie definitely is giving us a look.

Your naggy Christian wife was right. And now all you have left are her dresses to sniff. Aren't you ashamed? Yeah. Well, right. And just in case that wasn't clear, the narrator comes in and says, now just so you know, your Christian wife was right. And now all you have left, there's your dresses to sniff aren't you ashamed, right? Like he is

absolutely just describing the image like that thing they give for like, like for Tim to watch movies with. Exactly. And they do that for the whole movie like I was you know hearing this I was like all right you're trying to make your point at the beginning but they do this throughout it's just yes a post rapture scolding by the narrator of it yeah exactly and the atheist character always being like you told me to bet my life savings on green I'm such a fool I should have done You had a perfect system. You just double every time you lose, and then you always win your money.

I could have just kept doubling. Yeah. Also, it's way worse than that, because that's so much worse than that. And he won or do have 36. He delivers it so half-heartedly. Like, I think Kevin Sorbo was probably going for like exhausted by the world,

but it just seems like Kevin Sorbo's like, I can't believe I'm in another one of these. I just, I don't think we're fucking God's not dead would be my groundhog day. Yeah, right. I really thought me the Spartans was the floor, but fuck, I just opened up a trap door and jumped in and I've been following ever since. Don't cut the camera. I want this to be on the mountain.

So then we cut to the GWN studios that's the global world news. I get I'm guessing that's actually what the global world news. Yeah, that's probably it. But we cut to fucking Bucker Carlson. He is still exp expositing, right? He's still explaining to his listeners who presumably lived through the previous six months, what happened during them. Okay.

Say anybody missed living for the last six months. Let me agree. It's like summer. Once again, for you, people are upset that everyone disappeared. Still whining about that. And then he brings on Ruby Kincaid, who is the lead investigator into the rapture, or as they're calling it, the pandemic of evil. Pandemic. Why would they call it, they're right. Like obviously I know where the script writers

wanted to work the word pandemic in there, but why would the people call it a pandemic? If everybody just disappeared, we're calling it, you know, none of those people are on video anymore. So we're calling it no vid 19. Yeah, right. Because there was at least 19 of us. Yeah, but she's the lead investigator. Who's lead investigator? Go fuck yourself. She's the lead investigator and she's there to explain that the only way to battle the rapture is by making everyone stay at home. Yeah, the real rapture is the lockdowns. Am I right? That's two ham fisted. It's like the pandemic references in the same minute. I was impressed.

They're trying so hard to work COVID into this, but this script was already written, so they just had to smash it in there. Oh, right. It's so dumb. Because this doesn't make any fucking sense. Right, they never explained why they would want people to stay home, they never attach that to the vanishings, because people were presumably like,

got raptured when they were in their homes too, right? So they like, they worked the words in, but they never bothered to make any sense of them through the store. Right, like show us a guy diving into his door, just barely not getting raptured or getting raptured over. Yeah.

And then it's like, okay, there's a thing, what's staying home. Angel flying away. Gosh, almost got him. Damn it. I'm a wheel and a wheel covered in ice. There's also this great moment where Ruby concave the lead investigator is like, you know, to the television audience, she's

like, there's just too much misinformation out there. And Buck or Carlson's like, wait, wait, wait, hold on a second. Let's get crazy. Tell me this. Should Joe Biden explain the rapture and stop lying right now? Yes, he should. Is your answer? And she's like, what? No, I'm saying we just need to stop stupid conspiracy theories. That's all I'm saying. I've literally wrote my notes.

This movie is like boo. Don't silence the conspiracy theorists. I'm so sad I didn't get to see this with my church group in theaters. So now, of course, she is there to warn everybody that they've used some computer models to predict what was going to happen. And it looks like there was going to be a second wave of rapture. That's right. We ran the rapture, the first one into chat GPT.

And it was like left behind too. There's a sequel to this movie. Yeah, I mean, another one. And to be clear, the reason they do that is so the audience, which again, I should have been in the theater with could go psh, computers. I don't even know how to find the Google at my house. We use the computers.

And then as a complete throwaway line that will never return in any way. He's like, oh, well, we're entering, ending the interview right there. And they turn to the camera. He says, I think, you know, I don't believe what the so-called experts tell me. And I wouldn't be too quick to sign up for a vanishing's vaccine either. Oh, God. Yes. A vanishing vaccine. I rose to my feet. I rose to my look. Hey, if you're new, you might have missed it. In the middle of last year, Noah got to watch his favorite football team come from behind

in a really important game. Live, that's how I felt when he said don't sign for a vanishing vaccine. I was like, they're going to do it. They're going to take it all the way. But and we have to point out here that we will never hear another word about vanishing vaccines at any point in the movie, right? They just had to throw in and vaccines are bad line in there somewhere. Just to be clear, that's like the greatest vaccine ever. It prevents vanishing. the greatest vaccine ever. It prevents vanishing. You can answer maybe get vanishing. This is like nope magical vanishing block with RNA

for something. What? Take that. So we cut back to Kevin Sorbos house. He's put on his pilot uniform because he was a pilot in the first movie. He was also Nicholas Cage in the first movie. It's so good. He puts it on. He looks so sad. And he walks down stairs. And the daughter is like, Hey, you dad, you're gonna wear that to watch TV in the middle of the work day. Like you've been doing for last six months. He is today. Yeah. What day is it? It looks like you ever see a Halloween in an old folks home where they just put costumes. And you're like, Hey, he fought in World War two. Don't dress him like the bumblebee. That's how this violence jacket looks.

All right. So we got we go back to GWN studios. Buck is furious because they cut his interview short just as he was explaining how you shouldn't trust experts about medical. Yeah. Can't hold my amazing segment. That is how white people fight. It is. Why would you do that? And his producer is like, no, it wasn't me. And she explains her name is, I believe, Ivy Gold because they can only name things after metals and gems. We have root up the old gold. Yeah. And she's like, no, it wasn't me. It was Rupert Murdoch. He cut the atheist shill. Rupert, yeah. Right. Yeah. So in the narrator, of course, is cutting in to go now. He's like, you remember him from the other movies, different actor, but he was the guy who was the investigative

reporter. And now he's Buckercarrowson. So anyway, so now you're in on that. And they realized that the person who must have cut in and fucked with his like B roll footage or whatever must have been Connor. So they go to see Connor, the instant that you see this person on screen, you're like, why the fuck is that human being in a movie? Well, his name is Braden Sorbo, if that's any indication. Oh, be sure.

Yes. Will he work his way into the finale for absolutely no fucking reason? Sure will. I follow him on TikTok. Nice. So Buckercarlsson goes in to see the boss. This is Corbin Bernson. It's very sad. And he goes to give his Yelly, like, I don't believe in what the experts tell me. You shouldn't have had her on my show speech.

Yeah. Corbin Bernson is just very reasonably explaining, like, you should interview people that you don't agree with. And Tucker Carlson's like, she was a fear mongering liar. Computers, experts fucking data. This is a new channel. We're doing. Are you serious right now? We're talking to the heart of a nation. So seriously, this is you are the movie at every single fucking moment.

Yeah. This is what it would the fantasy that this movie is based on is if we were right. Yeah, and then in the middle of this conversation, the secretary just pops in for no fucking reason. She's like, oh, hey, guys, the UN is pushing for the Romanian president to be the new secretary general. And I'm like, that seems like an odd choice. I feel like you'd be busy being the Romanian president. I feel like also Stephanie, let me just say this. I feel like you don't need to pop in with you and inner politics related news. I feel like that's something I can get in a memo sort of towards the beginning or end of the day.

And he's like, Hey, look, man, if you're going to pursue this kind of shit, then we're going to cancel your show. And Buckercarrowson says, you would never cancel a show as popular as Buckercarrowson tonight. I am confident. I think we both know that's never going to happen. Look at camera. Look at second camera. Look at third camera. So good. I was I was up out of my seat clapping for the movie by myself.

Yeah, no, you weren't not know you were eight I was up out of my seat, clapping for the movie by myself. The man called me up. It's going, no, you weren't, not, no, you were eight because I was wherever I was up out of my seat, clapping for the movie. Yeah. In perfect unison. Butterfly effect. So, okay. So then we cut over to, to K-Sorp's daughter, she's going to miss her brother.

She's going to stare flash back at Lee at his baseball met. Don't worry if that's too mysterious. The narrator will explain to you why. Chloe feels bad just a brother, man. I don't think he's just... Thank you. It's like, have you ever watched one of that, like, you watch a movie with somebody who's seen the movie a million times and loves it?

They keep telling you what's happening even though you already know this movie's narrator is doing that. Yeah, the worst. happening even though you already know this movie's narrator is doing. Yeah. He says, by the way, that her brother got zuped at the rapture whilst they were hugging. Yeah. Like me. Which is a and saying and also hilarious. I don't know how you don't show us that.

Super funny. Yeah. But how does the narrator know that? Good question. Yeah. Yeah. But how does the narrator know that? Good question. Yeah. He, he switched it. I mean, spoiler alert. He switches from omniscient narrator to character halfway through the movie. But then we'll occasionally pop into be like, wait, no, I know everything again. Yeah. It's not God or Jesus. The narrator is the guy. We're gonna be it. It's gonna join the party later. Just a guy from

the movie. Alright. So, so then we cut to Barker Carlson watching the news on his phone. He's like, I guess doing research about the Romanian president now. And the Romanian president is talking about peace and unity and how we should all get along and strengthen our cooperative forces. And we as viewers are supposed to go, oh, that's how you know he's evil right there. Boo, boo unity, boo. Yeah. And then he bucket gets a call from Dirk, the hacker crazy professor guy.

Yeah. Right. This is who your crazy uncle Frank imagines is QAnon and not a racist chicken farmer. Yeah. Right. It's not. It's a racist chicken farmer. You're right. It's not. It's a racist chicken farmer. Yeah. It's a racist chicken farmer at Princeton University.

Nope. No, no, man. So he's like, hey, man, that guy, that assistant to Nicola Carpathia that you were just watching on your phone, that guy runs an evil company. And they're like, what's the name of the evil company? Just brand them any name you could use, any name in the whole, it's Dominator Analytics.

Yeah! There was like halfway into Dominion, and one of their lawyers goes, uh, uh, in nature. You go shum. I have a green one. Even if you set aside the dominion connection, it's such a stupid name for the fucking joke. So stupid.

It's, I, I, I, like, I can't describe what a, what a world of delights. The Christian heaven is really the only thing close to how I felt watching this the dominator analytics. Oh, don't stop. It's a lot closer to cyber ninja than it is to dominion fucking voting systems, which they're trying to like. Yeah, honestly, lampoon somehow. And then we cut to I shit you fucking, you thought it couldn't get better than dominator analytics.

We cut to Jesus Christ in heaven, introducing newly dead people to their lost loved ones. And the way he handles it is the fucking best. And they're like accidentally honest about what would be happening right now. Jesus is there in heaven and somebody comes up to him and he's like, oh shit. This is awkward. Is that a picture of your brother or something? Yeah, I'm damning this child to hell. He was gay.

He's not here. Also, look, I know we never make fun of physical appearances on his jokes after all the times we do. But Jesus is a little chunky. Okay. I feel like this guy got casted Jesus and they were like, oh, we delayed shooting six months. And he's a little more like melted Jesus Christ if you know what I'm saying, okay? Okay.

So, yeah, so, but Chloe shows up and she's like, oh, I want to be reunited with my little brother and then Jesus just like shakes his head, no at her, right? Like, no, I'm sorry, you're gonna burn for eternity, I guess. Well, luckily for her though, that was just a dream. K-sorbs wakes this actress up by fucking caressing her leg. It's kind of gross. Very upsetting and she's like, no, sorry, I'm fine, I'm awake. I'm awake. I was just having a nightmare about a very accurate portrayal of Christian

theology. It's cool. It's cool. It's no way. She's like, yeah, no, it's fine. My dream sequence was stupid. Anyway, sorry, sorry, dad, I was dreaming a heavy-handed metaphor within our heavy-handed metaphor in the movie. So she goes, ah, you know, it's just my dream was, was really real. And I was like, no, it wasn't. It was very, it looked like something from like one of those Mormon plays that we do. Yeah. Right?

It's like, it's like the movie just stopped and said, hey, that dream sequence wasn't stupid looking at all. Yeah. You put a long wig on John Goodman and pretend he was Jesus. And this is when Kevin Sorbo like comforts her and he says, no, it's cool. Mom and your brother are in heaven rooting for us right now. So just to be clear, part of eternal bliss in heaven is watching your family go to hell sometimes. But like with Molly or whatever, yeah, right.

Okay. Now to be fair, Heath, put yourself in their shoes. If you could go to heaven right now and watch me spend seven years trying to escape or it's locus. You're telling me that's not a good time. That's what I thought. I know it's going to happen at the end. Yeah, that's true. Yes. It's Jewish. It's like rewatching friends.

It still feels good. It feels good. No, it doesn't. So, but she's like, but dad, the rapture theory has already benty-bunked on the news. And he says, okay, so do you think your mom was stupid or gullible? And I'm like, that's not an or thing. Yes.

Yeah. And I guess would be the best way to say it. And both of those things are true. But one or more is true. Sure. So, okay. So then we cut to Princeton. The hacker's hacking away.

You can tell because his font is green. It's the hacking font. Yeah, he's running his computer in dots. Yeah, right. Yes, that's how you hack. So but buck is here to see him about not dominion because that would have got us sued, right? Dominator. Yeah. And we learn here that dominator provides, this is the movie's quote, all the U.N.'s data. I don't know. All information ever, ever, ever considered by the U.N. United Nations.

Yes, yeah. Am I here right now? Well, I better check with Dominator. The U.N. looks at a calendar. Dominator runs in and tackles them. And them and like, well, here's our Dominator I'll tell you what bucket day it is The nation of France would once again like Dominator analytics the

Social media app to tell us our census this year Waiting for that neta Like with that mean? Pants. Yeah. And he's like, so wait, you're saying that they can say anything they want and come up with fake data to back that up. And I'm like, do we can all do that?

Right. And he's like, well, the point is, Dominator is super bad. So just make sure you buck or Carlson don't do anything to give him like, I don't know, like three quarters of a million dollars. Like just go out of your way and go to avoid that. Yeah, where are you doing? I love to because of course he has to keep showing him stuff on his computer and he's like, and look at this, here's some more information. I'm like, yeah, that's what computer screens look like, man, you're nailing it. You're nailing it. Right. He's, he's supposed to have like used his Princeton

hacking skills to check out Dominator Analytics and he found like their evilness. Yes. And he's like, all right. Yeah. So check this out. Dominator. And you know what? I'm turning off auto suggest because I wrote Dominator Ain't no like that. But the movie is saying that he went to Dominator Analytics. They're like FAQ page and it would just said, yeah, we make, make up whatever you want us to make up and we tell the UN and we control the world. Yeah. And then he's like, well, a Buckercarrowson is like, well, why would they do this? And jerk, no shit flips over his literal yarn and push pins cork or yep

You know how that's a metaphor for people who have reasonable opinions about the world Turn out to be correct Did some of my own research flap I was got ready to go Literal yarn and push and it's so silly he cut out the title from the front page of like actual newspapers and like based them into his little board there. You could just write that down. But he like cut him out like he was a kidnap or going around. Yeah, business cards from some of the globalists. He's got stickers, like little sticker, like bumper stickers and coffee mugs. So dumb.

And then, okay. So then they have to walk away. He hides his laptop at night in a vent because he's sure that the evil government is going to come and steal it in his sleep, which, which they are because it's this movie. But again, like that, that's another, you know, that's another way that we can signal a completely sane character who's correct about his assumptions, right? He tells us that his computer is led line, which, first of all, I want him to be like, let me just get it up and do this, but, oh god damn it. Can you help me?

This is really hard because my arms have cancer. There's a lot of cancer in my arms. It's like the sixth heaviest metal. I don't know why I'm getting this. There's so many. And then he says, the feds have a thing that can read your computer from 10 yards away. Right.

And less it's of course covered with. Unless it has lead. A little bit less because they use Superman technology. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they can also download your hard drive from fucking anywhere. If you want, but he has led in his internet too, man.

He's like, they dabbed a little bit of liquid lead with a Q tip inside the ethernet port. Yeah. And then we cut to her and fuck apparently they're an item. Buck and Chloe, they're an item. Buck and Chloe, they met in the first movie, except they didn't. They actually never did meet in the first movie, but they're going out. They're dating. He's like 80 years older than her.

It's cool. It's cool. Yeah. No, that'll be fine. It's nothing compared to the woman that they try to hook Kevin Sorbo up with later in the movie, but yeah, subsurbed. So yeah, but so they go on a lunch date together. Yeah. And like cold open to lunch date is her being like, you're the biggest

cable news anchor in the country that will never change. I just want to say that. I was so happy. But he was, he, but he's sick and tired of all the lies he has to tell on the so called news. He liked it better when he was an investigative journalist. He says, he says, when I was an investigative journalist, I investigated things that needed to be invested. As a journalist, yeah. I wrote my notes, oh my God, that's what they came up with when they had to kind of sort of talk about what it investigated journalism.

This is why the writer strike matters people this because this is what would otherwise happen. And right after that, he's like, now I'm just an actor with lines on fucking schmock snooze and like, again, it's you are the movie. I thought the movie was about to start crying in self-realization at the moment. No, they never hear it. Oh, they do this whole dialogue. I'm like, can you bring back Yarnson Pushman guy? I have no idea what the fuck these people are talking about. But luckily, it doesn't matter, right? The writers were very clearly yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada y Yeah, right. It's okay. So then we cut to Bucker Carlson on the news.

He's leading a panel about this so called second wave. And we have this just, it's just nonsense, but it's such good nonsense as he goes from panelists to panelists with this movie, wondering how us atheists would respond to the rapture. Yeah. One of the big theories was aliens. Yes. Yeah. The aliens disappeared all those people. And right after that, they introduced that.

And then they introduced the idea that evolution is fake for like half a second just because they figured out a way to put it in. Yes. And then also evolution's fake. You know, all those missing links. That's when aliens did a mass kidnapping, so those make sense. Yeah. Dr. Science says, well, you know, we think people must have vanished millions of years ago.

That's why there are so many gaps in the fossil record. I wrote my notes. Fuck yes, movie. I love you. Like, it's the first day we met this. That might have been, I wrote it down for Beethoven. My notes that I said, this might be the most amazing line in the history of bullshit right here. Yes, that's why there

are so many gaps in the human evolutionary record is because the aliens were periodically coming and kidnapping us with raptures. What would that mean? And then bringing us back when we were more evolved. Yeah. Perfect. Cause you know, now us dumb atheists like Darwin write books about it. Yeah. Yeah. And then of course, Bucker Carlson, they're like, well, what do you think it was? And he's like, uh, teleporter. Ray. So So

the voice of reason according to Yes. We're right. Probably a disintegration, Ray. It's probably what it was. You've seen Star Trek where they just do the teleporter is probably that or could be the Mandela effect, you know, all those people have already died and we forgot because of that, right?

That's the same. I went to this conference. So and then at that point, they're like, oh, hey, we've got to like take a break from our panel discussion about the second vanishings for a UN press conference from Mr. Stoneagall, the guy who runs Dominator analytics. Do, do we let Mark Zuckerberg just call together the UN? I feel like we should stop if we're doing that. But yeah, they do. I'm sure. Yeah.

And so he's there to tell everybody that there's going to be a one world government, this Mark Zuckerberg character, right? This character that as near as we can tell has no government function whatsoever in his job title. He's just like, yeah, you know, given this second wave of pandemic of evil stuff, we're going to have to create a one world government with a single currency that is digital. And I am willing to run it in case anyone wants to know, I fucking be long fuzc or whatever I'm supposed to be. I'm willing to, just like the head of our bees being like,

okay, say anyone's wondering, I'm now the head of all the navies. Also, all money is beef and cheddar. That's the unit of currency is beef and cheddar. And everybody's like, oh, beef and cheddar. He goes, the UN has mandated the OAT, everybody adopt the OTM payment system.TM by the way stands for on the mark

That was developed by Israeli scientist Jewie McJew name Holy Yes on behalf of the black with his actual name I am Rosen Swake. God. Rosen's on behalf of the black dragon from D&D minus. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Really just Kevin Sorbo. Hey, Kevin, you want to improvise a Jewish person's name? Moishi.

Hanukkah. Bagel. Yes. I will tell you, I want to congratulate you for coming up with something more stereotypical than the name, because as I was watching the movie, I tried to write the joke you just delivered so expertly and I was like, nope, I am roast and sweat. I'm all up the other ones. Yes. No. Lots of my friends are.

That's his last name. Lots of my friends. Some of my best friends are. Minister funny New York man. And then that press conference that UN press conference is suddenly an interview with Bucker Carlson between him, Mr. Stoneigall and Moishihonika Bagel. The United Nations gave Tucker Carlson like a live smash cut interview in the middle of their thing. Yeah, that's what they're saying. Yeah, okay Yeah, and he goes his opening line is what you know you guys have just dissolved all world governments and and you know changed all of our

banking to this single system I Quote I think this is bigger news than most people realize. Hey, quick idea in case there's an apocalypse like this with a rapture. What if we just keep using the banks we already have? We have them. All right, well, this is the last time a person could be forgiven for thinking that anything and all is going to happen in this movie so we're going to pause on an upbeat but we'll be back at a flash with even more of left behind rise of the anti-crushed minz gotta go minz gotta go hey guys guys what's what's the protest signs? Noah, did you know that our sponsor, Mint Mobile, was once owned by Ryan Reynolds? Uh, yeah.

So? Well, obviously we cannot support them anymore. Why? What's wrong with Ryan Reynolds? Um, he's hot and funny, Noah. You have to choose. Exactly. It's selfish is what it is.

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That's mintmobile.com slash cam. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash cam. Fine. But if Ryan Reynolds ends up doing a really good performance and winning an Oscar, he is going down. Exactly down. All right, noted. But if Ryan Reynolds ends up doing a really good performance at winning an Oscar, he is going damn! Exactly down! Alright noted. noted.

Minions, come before me. Yes, Master. Yes, Master! I won't introduce you to Nikolai Carpetea, my anti-crust. Excellent. Peter, my antichrust. Excellent. When the time is right, he shall rise to global power

and dam the hearts of men, just like opposite Jesus. Yep, yep, yep, we get it. Like an opposite day thing. Question though. Yes, shoot. Yeah, so what's he gonna like do before he's antichrist? Yeah, so what's he gonna like do before he's antichrist?

Oh yes, he'll be the prime minister of the country who will then rise to power. Yeah, sorry, no, I mean like it's gonna be 2,000 years until then, what's he gonna do before he's like on earth doing all that? Oh, shit, I don't know, I guess I'm He's like on earth doing all that. Oh. Well, shit, I don't know. I guess um... Well, I'll have to hang out here in hell. Oh, so... Are we the demon?

No! No, he's... He's a dude. He's like filled with demons... or something. Right. Uh, does he have a soul? Not at all clear. Hmm. Excuse me, Satan. I hear you, Nicky, how you doing, buddy? Yeah, I am wondering, is it possible to turn down the heat in here? I am very, very hot. No, so I'm gonna have to keep it like hell temperature

Sorry, no, no worries. No worries. It's okay. Okay, so that guys is gonna be like hanging out hanging out It's all time. Yeah, I think I found the cool spot. No, you didn't Nikki. You're in hell bud. Oh Yeah, both I feel it now. Okay Oh yeah, both I feel it now. Okay And we're back for more of this shit. We're gonna rejoin the action with Bucker at Corbin's office fucking making more covid metaphors So we said something on the news and then it happened Interesting it's so yeah, that's the big point that he's making. He's like, what are the odds? The scientists, so called scientists comes in and says the model's predicted something and then right away it ended up happening suspicious, very suspicious.

Look, I'm an investigative reporter. What's more likely a scientist predicted something and it came true or the social media app slash uniting currency slash world government faked it with all the data they provide to everybody all the time. Well, so this was the first time I realized that the movie's position was that the second wave of COVID was fake. Yeah. Right. Like that's what the movie was trying to set. Because people keep going like, but did you actually meet anybody

who vanished in the second wave of raptures? So I was curious about this to see if this was like an actual conspiracy theory. And I highly, highly recommend going on for Chan or Reddit or any of those places and typing in the phrase, do you know anybody who died in the second wave because it is hallowed because here's what happens in every one of those threads. Nope.

Sure didn't. Seems like we've been tricked by the Jew media. Tell me about it, brother. He actually, my grandma died. Fuck you. You hit her secret. Yes, yeah. You actually my grandma died. Fuck you, you hit her secret. Yeah, you're ruined and everything in on it. All right. So, but Corbin Bernson makes it very clear that he's not allowed to know more about this shit, right? Yeah. Because Buckert garlossens like I'm

looking into dominator analytics, because they're behind all of this and and that's when Corbin Burns is like no, you're not I forbid it go to your room So meanwhile K sorps is now reading moms heavily annotated Bible He's just flipping through being like okay, this is now Jewish Jewish Here we go revelation here's a good stuff Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Here we go, Revelation. Here's a good stuff.

So then we cut to this disused church, right? He's going to the church to find the real answers. I must admit, the all souls matter painted across the sign kind of made me laugh. Fuck yes. Right. And the narrator comes in and he's like, they hated Christians after the rapture more than ever. And I wrote in my notes, okay, that's a lucky guess.

We hated Christians before the rapture. Yeah. Right. Right. Christians after the rapture more than ever and I wrote my notes. Okay, that's a lucky guess. We hated Christians before the rapture came. Yeah, right, right. Like that's not a real prediction. You guys are just really hateable. So he checks the door. He goes around to the side and he sees a bloody footprint

leading into the back door, right? So he grabs himself a golf club. The golf club, that's how white people fight. White men fight. And then he goes to check in on the church. And the church has been like decimated, of course white people fight white men fight. And then he goes to check in on the church and the church has been like decimated of course. Okay. The church hasn't been just decimated. Someone has cut the head off a pig.

Yes. And nailed it to the cross. That's more to the fly. Is very specific. So a bunch of atheist vandals got together and one of them was like, guys, guys, I have the best idea. Do you want to do a quick illusion to a British novelist? I mean, I have this pig's head on, I've got to do some fucking thing with it.

You know, you guys were like, there's no way to incorporate your butcher shop into our post rapture atheist shenanigans. Well, you're words, K Kucka Mellon. So yeah, but this is where Ksarbs finds Pastor Barnes, who is the narrator that's been explaining the movie to us seen by scene ever since, right? Okay, be honest, guys. Did you guys think that the narrator was going to be like, that's me. I'm in the movie. Hello, stop talking. I'm here.

It would have been great if he had been like in the middle of narrating and then he had to be like, and we've now together, it's two voices. Nope. One of them. They're voices. I'm talking. I'm talking. I mean, me now. I'm in the now.

Every time you start narrating, you get that like feedback squeal. Like the guy that's turned his radio. The man. Mirror battle. Reset your browser. that like feedback squeal like the guy that's turned his radio. Mirror battle. Reset the browser. We have to sword fight. So meanwhile,

Chloe is walking along, be it followed by a very creepy dude. This is okay. This is the best. Because I'm so sorry. She looks around she's like, oh, that guy's creepy and then he's gone And she's like well, I guess he's not anywhere and tackle them Which means again, you have to look at this from any angle except the stupid angle this movie is trying Which is someone in the middle of an open sidewalk, season creepy guy, then he's like, what? Kides behind a truck for a second.

He's like, she's probably unaware. It's a reaction challenge because she looked in all directions except the one he was running at her from apparently. Right. He was using that futuristic teleporter that Tucker was talking about. Oh, yeah. There you go. Yeah, but he knocks her down. He tries to take her bag. He fails. She pepper sprays him and he runs off. That's a sad, sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad the absolutely bananas assumption this movie keeps making like this character is of course this character from the first movie

reminding them again that None of the people from the first movie are in this movie right so every time you see a character be like Hey, Dr. H. Do you mind if I come in? Ha ha after what we've been through no, but there is no movie with these people in it from before. No. You look a lot like Nicholas Cage, Kevin Sorbet. And also, I want to be clear about that. I know this is just the back rubble. We have to talk about this shit. Why is it that Christian wraps or movies always think that we would be unable to like maintain municipal garbage pick up after the rapture.

I don't want to say the first day of the rapture. The first thing we do, we light everything on fire, everything. Obviously, number one, obviously a lot of let us. And we crumple up metal garbage cans from the past because those those are the ones. And we put those everywhere. 80s. And then we're probably going to throw around a bunch of wood palettes all over the place. For no reason.

He, he, sorry, quick question, quick question. If I need to warm myself post the rapture, do you have to do it? Garbage fire. Garbage fire. Garbage fire. Garbage fire. What's the first thing I just said? You light every fire.

Light everything up. I don't know, that's what I mean. That's what I mean. Yep, yep. I gotta keep up. So you have, but so she knocks on the door. Sam Sorbo comes to the door. But I look in spectacular, by the something, that's something. Yep, yep. I keep up. So she knocks on the door, Sam Sorbo comes to the door, but I look in spectacular, by the way, Sam.

Yeah, fantastic. You're ready to leave him, Sam. You don't need him anymore. Yeah. Just so you know Sam, we know you're listening because your son's listening because he's on TikTok and we're a podcast, which means you're listening, you're ready.

Yeah, no, we're already for you. So yeah, but she, so she takes a look at a Chloe Scott and she's like, yeah, no, it looks like this one won't need stitches. That obviously needs stitches you lazy motherfucker. That's so goddamn deep and awful. It's like she tried to jump onto a stage with her arm. Oh, I was gonna say Noah's next in line. Yeah, no minds good too.

I still, that's still scabbing up. Yeah, and then, and then this film's magical black lady shows up. Yeah, that's a bingo. Can I say all the way bingo? Magic black lady speedrun. Okay, we've seen magical black people. This woman charges in the room.

She's like, I'll tell you what, you know the future woman charges in the room. She's like, I tell you what, you know the future. I know the past. But what did you? The number 37. I'm like, I'm on the black land. Like Doppler effect. All right. So then we cut to caserooms. He's taking rapture notes. So I paused on the notes for way too long. I just want to read one bit. At the top left hand side of the page, it says, where did they go? And then right below that, it says, heaven in all caps, double underscored with two exclamation points. So, so we wrote down heaven and he was like, I want to make sure my eyes pop right to that

when I refer back to this. Let me, can I, I talix it? No, I wrote it with my hands. Shit. Underline, underline, yeah. Yeah. Also, he takes out like a whiteboard. Yes. And he writes so stupid.

Like they're trying to do the timeline of the rapture. He writes himself a visual aid for the concept of seven years, which, which to be clear is a line. That's what he writes. Right. Here on one side of the line is zero beginning. Yeah. Got it. Now, and then here at the end, I'm impressed.

You started at zero instead of one. I got to be honest. There's here at the end. That's why does get it wrong, though. Right. Like we keep saying it's going to be seven years and he's like, perhaps you'll be six years. So that pastor Barnes can say, no, no, no, you're getting it wrong. It's going to be seven years, right? Yeah. Did you start at zero or one? I'm wrong either way. It's sorry. No, never mind. I also love how they have to vague it up,

right? Like it's your fantasy. And he's like, so it starts right away. And he's like, I wouldn't say that. Um, don't want to. We've been wrong about a lot of stuff. We know peace agreement. Who likes to do that? I think by Israel or the racial, the rock is and engines.

It's a lot of stuff. Can we just become Christian now and win? And like, yes, that's not really the answer. Anytime in the next seven years you just do that, you say it out loud or not, and you're good. And you go, that's it. That's it. Guys, side note question, when the rapture comes,

are you guys gonna wait six years and 3654 days and become Christian just so you can get all your looting and raping and murdering in during the tribulation or You can do it right away. Oh No, you wait no no no you do it right away because you could die at any point But but you just keep asking for forgiveness for the looting and the raping is the the the the the it's not like It's not like there's not already a built-in out. Yeah, I feel like you do like a It's not like there's not already a built-in out. Yeah, I feel like you do like a,

like after a really good night of looting, you're like, oh, no, I'm a Christian until next Friday, if you know what I mean. Yeah, right, right. Yeah, Lord, give me a chance to do, but not just yet, that's my strategy. I feel like, yeah, I'm quite interested in that, right? Augusty, then he turned fish into fish and his mouth.

So ex-Catholic, listening to this right now is like, ah, good one, Mr. Bostick. So, and then Pastor Barnes is like, Hey, if you want to know a little bit more about this, I have a convenient DVD that was made by the pastor that did get raptured just in case like a break glass if. Oh, shit. You have like the answer key to the movie. Let's definitely watch that. Yeah. It's a DVD though. Do we have a DVD player? Is it the past? Is it starring an actor who is way too excited to be in this movie? Yes, it sure is. I think this is like Kevin Sorbo's pastor or some shit. Yeah, I'm going to install power DVD.

I'm just going to take a second. I don't. I just, so here's another question that came up for me watching this scene. How many real life preachers do you guys think have recorded these stupid post-wrapped sure videos? I bet it's like hundreds through history have been like, Han set up the camcorder. I need to make something for our whole daughter when we can. I wrote down the same fucking thing in my notes. I want to see those so bad.

I'm sure it's tons of them, but hey, guys, get together and put one fucking answer key on YouTube. So we have it for the wrap that you believe is going to be we keep censoring them. He's paying attention to the right. Yeah, exactly. They can erase this off of YouTube. Put it on rumble. Come on. So so burn the pastors tell them all about the tribulation. And I wrote my notes. I bet he doesn't bring up the scorpion horse locusts. I kept writing that every time somebody's like, what's the tribulation going to be like? I'm like, come on, bring up this fucking scorpion horse locusts.

I dare you. They never do. I double dare. He bitches out at one point. He's like, I don't want to get into the decals. And I'm like, is that because they're unimaginably stupid? He's like, shit. Yeah.

You've seen so many of these movies. I think one ever has even tried to do one scorpion horse look. Yes, we had one horror movie that kind of half-assed them and one apocalypse movie that really went full horse look. Yeah, no, it had the, you could see the silhouette of a couple of puppets and everything. Movie like from the perspective of the Scorpion horse locust. As well. Togious. Oh, Keith. Yes.

Where's that go fund me? Yes. Forget matrion. Matrion's canceled everybody. We're doing a horse locust. Horse locust romantic comedy between high emros and quights and the scoreboard. Yeah, the ladyface. Yeah. And we play all the characters like Eddie Murphy.

Blake, lively. Guys, you guys, you're fucking up. There's very reference scene here, by the way, because this is the moment, right? Where we're Kevin Sorbonne gets down on his knees and becomes a Christian. He invites Jesus into his heart, past your your Barnes comes so they can be buddy Christians, I guess they stand back to back and do the Jesus thing or whatever. Here's what occurred to me during this scene

because we've watched a lot of come to Jesus moments. Does it count if you don't do all the flowery language? Like if you're like fine, Jesus, I'm saved. Does that count? No. Right, how sarcastic is your phrasing allowed to be? Jesus is going to be like, like you mean it. Or whatever.

Or whatever. This movie also has the most verbose magic Jesus words of any come to Jesus that we've ever heard, right? Yeah, it's like a penalty for like handing in an essay late. Like the magic spell is the same as before the rapture, but now like, all right, now you have to write 2500 words and you're like, all right, like I mean it longer. Can I change the margin? So now, okay, so now we cut back to Dirk, the Princeton hacker guy, right? And he's trying to hack into Eden, which is

the one world OTM currency thing. Yeah, which is a little like saying you've broken into a building's main room. Shut up hacking. I said hacking. We're not taking any questions. Are you inside the Empire State Building? Yes, I'm in it. Yes. So we can't get it, he can't get it. And then he gets a mysterious message from Dan Seven.

It just says hello. Yes, hello. Never respond to that. Are you not? I could know the person very intimately and be like, really hello, absolutely not. You will need to add some information to that. I could know the person very intimately and be like, really hello, absolutely not. You will need to add some information to that before I say anything. Yeah. Also, I did enjoy that like Daniel seven, that's about the four monsters that represent

the four evil kingdoms, the Israel's and the thing. I wrote in my notes, oh, please let it be texting a fire, breathing you. Oh, please. Yeah. Right. We don't know we have to find out in the third one, but he's like the Dan seven is like, Hey, you tried to hack into Eden today and he takes back not all. And then he like sets his phone down. He's like, yeah, I probably nailed it. Probably.

Who does? Nope. Do phone. But then Dan seven sends him the password and the password I checked according to security.org the password that gets you into the one world currency is literally one hundred quidrillion times worse than the one that gets you into my Facebook. Okay, look, I don't I don't want to give tell too much out of turn, but one of the conflicts that we've had within our company is that my passwords are all basically password one two three four

And they're all stronger than this one. It is and I'm not she getting eight characters It's that's nine, but yeah, yeah, oh no, you're right. It's ten But yeah, and it's also it's a Bible reference. It's so fugitive, but but that gets them in it's a bit There's a clue to the world's giant conspiracy in the Password to the like money of the world money vault at money Eden money.com Right, and he just hacked into all of it with this password. Yeah, he can move all the money to anywhere he wants. Now that he's gotten the 10 fucking character. It's a Israel because they're holding out and they're really fucking.

Yeah, blow right. Exactly. And roommate. I passed words. Also money. And then. And then we cut to had he coming to see Kevin Sorbo. Who the fuck is that? Right, she was in the first movie, in the first movie Nick Cage's character was having an affair with a stewardess named Hattie. That's who this is. Okay, but the movie is just like,

you remember the different actress that played this character last time? I wrote my notes. I'm like, did Kevin Sorbo just say I feel like a beautiful woman would be trying to fuck me up by this point, right? He sure did, baby. Oh, this poor actress, she's so lovely and she has her hair done like the prom. She's in a little sexy black dress.

Yeah. And she is literally 32 years younger than Kevin Sorbo. Kevin Sorbo is two to the fifth power younger. Yeah. He is almost certainly older than her dad. Yes. Her father almost certainly. Yes. She doesn't even know how to do it. She's like, oh man, I would love to lick your stubble lumpy area. I love how that little white bubble of spit is just staying there in the corner of your mouth now forever. So, Yummers.

But she no longer works for the airline. She's now gotten a job working for the anti Christ for Nicola Carpathia. She's his personal assistant weird pipeline. Can I say? Right. I see you've been a flight attendant. You're hired to be. Yeah.

Aid to the new world president. Yes. Would you like chips or cookies or for me to be your secretary? So but she's there to tell him that that Nikola Carpathia needs pilots for his, you know, one world government. Oh, it's so sad. She's like, should you want a job again? Cause you look like super duper unemployed. Like, I see you're wearing the pilot's so sad. She's like, so do you want a job again? Cause you look like super duper unemployed.

Like, I see you're wearing the pilot jacket and sweatpants. Now, man, like, come on. I mean, get your job. You have ointment on your face. And she's like, and you could, you could have a job and, and we could have sex. And he's like, I can't fuck you now. I'm Christian. And she's like, I can't fuck you now, I'm Christian. And she's like, oh darn.

Ah, I'm so sorry. Shucks, I'm rude. Tell all the sex we would have. We make a lot of fun of the actors in the movies we watch, but say what you will, these women do Oscar worthy performances being like, oh, I wanted Kevin Sorboda to touch me. And now he's not gonna.

There's this great moment where she's like, oh, you know, you took the cowards way out. He goes, no. Being a Christian is, that makes me an anti-cowardist, a bravest of all the things. Actually, accepting Christ is the bravest thing ever. Accepting Christ is too big according to some women. Even fit. So she storms out and I wrote in my notes, now she wore a butt plug for nothing.

You, you never wore a butt plug for nothing. So yeah, it doesn't make sense. Thank you. And then, sorry, this, this is such a throwaway scene that we probably shouldn't even mention it, but I absolutely have to, we see like this news reporter, there's a crowd gathering to cheer on the anti-Christ when he arrives. And the news reporter, she says, she's like, you know, we don't normally see reactions like this for politicians. I haven't seen a crowd like this since Barack Hussein Obama's oh Bama it would have been very reasonable for you to assume that he was the anti-Christ based on the crowds

This is a UN diplomat who has like rabid fans like Beavill Mania This also just in where there's our delicious low calorie and it's grandchildren should be grateful when you offer them. So we just get that very quickly. We cut back to dirt's office. Now Buck has arrived and he's going to fill him in on the big plot point. He says, Hey, man, all the banking stuff in one world government stuff, that's only 10% of the program. And he's like, well, what's the other 90% he goes, it's surveillance, tracking, biometric

reporting. I'm like, so fit bit, right? Also social credit, social credit. Yes. So like street cred tracking. Yes. Uh-huh. By the world government, just like in China. Yeah, no, that's the thing.

Yeah, like honestly, I'm all for that shit, but yes, that's what they're afraid of. Yeah, you'll get social credit points for like letting an old person take your seat on the bus. Oh, like Grand Theft Auto, like the meter goes up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, with the opposite kind of. Okay. Yeah. yeah, yeah, with the opposite kind of. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. So and then of course, this is where he explains that in order to buy things, you're going to need to get the mark on your on your hand or on your forehead. Yeah. He says,

download the app or starve to death. And I wrote my notes. I mean, that's already Grubhub's model. So I get it. Okay. I feel like we've talked about this before, but are people taking the forehead in that scenario? I'm totally taking forehead. Imagine being the one guy who takes forehead and just making... It's like having a card. At the point of sale, you're gonna headbutt the fucking thing? Yeah! Right, at the supermarket. I'm gonna be the guy who's like, actually, I went with head and they're gonna be like, fuck, okay, here let me, I got to get the key. Oh, to take it off the floor. This is a, you have to have the cord, like a pigstail just for you, man. Every piece different heights.

Yeah. So he's like, they're going to make everyone conform. And I wrote my nose like, yeah, oh, if there's one thing that Christians hate, it's conformity. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey. And Dirk says, hey, I have a source and he's, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I promise not to die. Yeah. Apropos of nothing, I promise not to die. Also just to be clear, one other big piece of evidence is that when he hacked into all of the world-eaten thing, they have a secret screen that shows a diagram of their evil

plan, like visually in a simple way, like an IKEA manual of the world's takeover. And it's just like PayPal and then there's an area that just says stealth functions. And then the stealth functions. I really want to be on the all hands meeting, right? Where the CEO is trying to get everyone pumped for stealth functions. Oh, am I right? Okay. No, that's cool. But why are we putting it on our page? I don't understand why we would have this in under FAQ.

You're gonna put it secretly asked. We're not taking questions. Okay. All right. Well, tell you what, this movie's desperate effort to create tension is just shy of threatening to spit on us. So we're gonna take a quick break. But first, let me give AXB the hard sell.

Will this movie end the same way every single rapture movie ends? Is that because the very premise demands that the protagonists be incapable of affecting the outcome in any meaningful way? Will Christian movie makers ever fucking realize that? Find out the answers to these questions and more. We'll be returned for the diminishing returns conclusion of left behind rise of the Antichrist. Hey podcast listener, as we mentioned at the start of the show, this month is matrion. That's the time of the year when we ask you to consider

tossing us a buck or two to help make our show happen. And we know not everyone tunes in for every single episode. Though to be clear, if you do, we do love you the most. We do love you the most, yes we do. But we know a lot of you will be here for this one. And that's why without irony, we just wanted to say, thank you. Whether you give or not, we are incredibly grateful for your presence and support.

You're who we do this show for and we feel unbelievably lucky to get to do it. So if you haven't donated yet or you wanna update your pledge, you can head over to matrion.com and do that. But if not, we're still super glad you're here because we couldn't have made it without you. So thanks.

Yeah, thank you so much. 100%. Tim is blind. So close to being a really nice thing we had going. Really, I didn't know how to end it and there was a pause. You just stopped talking. You just stopped talking. You just stop talking. You.

I'm telling you, he was just mowing his lawn and then boom. Crazy, yeah, mine was a checkout clerk. Like poof, like right out of his clothes. Yeah. Guys, guys, do you see the news? Yeah, yeah, man, we saw it. So, dude, what is that? What do you know?

Oh, this is a pig's head. We gotta, we gotta go to a local church and nail it to the cross. Why? What? Because it's the rapture. You guys have seen the movies, we're supposed to like do violent shenanigans to churches, right?

Don't know, is that what we're doing? Okay, but just to repeat why. I don't know heath were mad, rapture, some that pigs had, come on, this wasn't easy to get. This was not easy to get. I mean, dude, if anything, wouldn't atheists be really humbled right now? Yeah, I actually feel really bad about the podcast now. Well, exactly. Yeah, look guys

I have a pig's head and it's getting gross So can I please make one more argument that we go fuck up some church and nail this thing to their crucifix. Oh Okay, one more getting gross Everyone at the church. It's hot. Okay. Everyone at the church is a Christian who's just been proven right. Yeah, I'm in. I'm in. I'll get a crowbar. I got it.

Where'd you get a pig's head? I got a guy. Got a guy. Yeah, I thought so. Stupid question. And we're back for still more of this shit. We're going to rejoin the action at GWN Studios with Buck arriving for work. I can, Braden Sorbo's just standing around with this big stupid. I'm still in the movie too, Gringo and I. My dad will be in the movie. Right dad. Don't say dad. Don't say dad.

Hey, have you, have you talked to my dad lately? I mean, Buck Quentin. What's my dad's name? Rayford Steel. I work here. The movie. It's so stupid to, so and so Buckercross was talking to his assistant. And then some lady walks by and says, I'm the next in line. If you get fired or something and I want your job, just thought I tell you my motivation. There's more in-gram right there. Yeah.

She's going gonna take a See I had her down as Rita Skeeda and I think that really shows the generational the fine Who she's the nose reporter from Harry Potter books, okay? Your lord ingram reference was pro fox better all things kids up. Get up to the end. I Okay. So buck is he says to his assistant, Hey, like I've got this bomb shell report right here in these files, which I'm going to set right here and then ignore for a little bit right after my work rival walked by. Hope that goes well for me. Yeah, I'd say why does he treat that paperwork so unconsciously except I am now deeply aware

of how in cautious networks like Fox News and Infos Wars are with their incriminating data. No, that's true. I'm just going to put this on top of a porn server full of porn that I'm going to set now. No. So and then we get so he sets down this thing and then we see this video of Nicola Carpathia making this speech about how he's going to be the one world president and he's supposed to be the Romanian president.

But he sounds like he's from fucking Iowa. He does have the transatlantic accent. Yeah, I was wondering why no one brings that up. Why would he not have a communist accent? We've seen enough of these movies to know he's not, he needed to do well with that accent. No, no. You do like grandpa doing Borat right before the Strokits and they're like, no, he's being a prince.

Yeah, that'll also just quick note. If you're an evil person trying to take over the world, you're doing a press conference. Don't have a henchman with a giant leather duster right next to you during such good advice. Just have them out of frame. He can still be right there. Yeah. No, exactly. What did we say about menacingly cracking on knuckles behind me? Huh? Yes. What did we say? Do do quietly out of frame. That without the accident.

And of course, well, everybody's wrapped by this speech that that Carpathia is giving. The evil anchor rival lady, Mora Ingram, finds the bombshell files that buck is left laying around, which the top piece of paper, he drew himself the evil flow chart on paper to remind himself how the evil goes from PayPal to then was the suspect evil part and he drew the whole thing for her. The stealth mode. Yeah, exactly. So, okay. So then we cut the Corbin's office where Buck is presenting all this evidence to him.

He's like, see, now I have evidence of the big conspiracy thing that I was talking about early. And again, Corbin Berkson is like, that's not proof. You just, you know, drew a thing. It says PayPal and there's an arrow and it says stealth evil. That's not what I'm looking at. He goes, who's your source on this?

And I said, I don't have to tell you you that he's like, is that same guy who's 9-11 truth or he's like, I'm not taking any more questions. That's not something. I have to have a come back for I just wanted to clarify that the guy who we've believed to be right about everything and is a reasonable actor within this movie is a 9-11 truth or yes cricket. You know, the daughter of Princeton professor 9-11 truth or yeah, one of those guys, yeah, whose friends with Tucker Carlson get fuck out of here. Then he tells Corbin Burtson, I'm running this story no matter what. And I was like, I don't think you get to do that. No, it's not a thing.

It just runs out, tries to turn the camera on himself, selfie mode. I'm running the story no matter what. And I was like, I don't think you get to do that. No, it's not a thing. It just runs out tries to turn the camera on himself, selfie mode. Hey, everybody, it's me. Look, a girl. That's not plugged into anything, right? We have to, and then we have to like, we cut into that scene for just a second for, because I guess Kevin Sorbo felt like he hadn't been on camera recently enough, you know? So we cut in real quick to him calling Chloe.

Chloe is at Dr. Sam Sorbo's place with Furnit. I guess this is a hospice. And he's like, Hey, can you want to come down to the church and get a goddamn plot underway? We're over an hour into this movie at this point. You want to get Christian for the finale? Yes. Like, no, I'm busy.

You're jumping the gun, dad actor. It's not the finale yet. So they just delay on it. Yeah, the best Sam Sorbo wanders into frame. Actually, he's my dad though. He's not your dad. He's cool. He was hercules. He was famous. He used to be famous. Did you ever see him in hercules? No. Ha, ha, ha, ha. And then, and then of course, fern, the magical black lady is like, oh, I want to actually go to that church where your dad is to get baptized quick

before I die of my dramatic cough. And she's like, oh, that's how we're gonna, we're gonna bring out of that together, huh? Okay, fine. But first we had to cut back to Corbin Bernson's office where now he's, he's fucking firing Bucker Carlson. Oh, this is the greatest. He's like, Hey, a few minutes ago, I know we just stood here for three minutes in silence

while something else happened. A few minutes ago, you were like, I'm doing the story, whether you like it or not, and then you tried to do like a selfie shot into a camera that wasn't plugged in. It's crazy. I didn't fire you right away. You're fired. I don't know why I waited three minutes, but you're fired. Ed, I was so fucking happy.

It's so stupid because when we cut back, Corbin Berthson is like practicing his, with his putter, he's got his little putting green out and everything, which means that fucking buckercarrel. So it was like, I'd run on the story, whether you like it or not. He's like, okay, let me set out my little up putting green out and everything, which means that fucking buckercarles. It was like, I'm running the story, whether you like it or not. He's like, okay, let me set out my little up putting green and half a response. I got to go find my putter, though. We'll talk in three minutes. I'm doing a putt thing.

Yeah. And Corbin Bernson roasts him for a second at the end right after he fires him. He's like, also your show fucking sucks. Like nobody, the only ads we get are like a Christian pillow, info, we don't need money on it. You know, you suck. More old people die in front of your show than young people watch it. I just want to really, really focus in on that statistic.

So, okay, so then we cut to Kevin Sorbonne at the church. He's reading these Christian pamphlets. Pastor Barnes comes by and he's like, hey, man, these pamphlets are fucking great. These are amazing. Awesome. Nobody would ever want to throw these in the trash and they'd probably regret it if they did. Oh, man, if only someone had handed me a pamphlet like this when I was in A.D.

is before the rapture. Yeah. Oh, I would not have used it as rolling paper in front of that person. I'll tell you that. Yeah. would not have used it as rolling paper in front of that person. I'll tell you that. Yeah. So our most pumped about the pamphlets. I love that the pastor is like, I'm a pastor in that stum. What are you talking about?

You know, it's like 30 pamphlets. Yeah. So he's basically got these so you're being raped of the butt by scorpion, horse, locus pamphlets. And he's like, we need to give these out because people are getting raped of the butt by scorpion or slokists. And the pastor's like, no, I've done that man. It's just it's thankless. I don't expect when you're expecting scorpion horse locus.

Yes. Sexual assaulting you to be fair. If you don't meet me in the middle here, I might distribute these pamphlets in the dumbest spots. Wait for it. Listeners, wait for it. So Durkid Buck are going to go to meet the source together. But first they have to stop at GWN to pick up Kevin Sorbo's son and let him be in the movie some more. Hey, hey guys, I'm here. I'm here. Cool. You're going to be running the cameras for a. Yep. Hi, cameras like a movie. Uh-huh. That my dad said, hey, yeah, we're in a movie. Don't. Yeah. Just don't say it. Come here.

Where'd you see this? The camera guy sold me some. Look at this. And there's this amazing bit where they get to the party. Like the WN. And there's two bad guys sitting in the most obvious bad guy truck holding the most obvious bad guy objects dressed in the most obvious bad guy way, just looking straight at them. Just like selfie sticks going out the window with a big blinking red light on a camera looking at waving at them. So dumb. They literally literally would have been less suspicious if they'd been dressed as bushes,

right? Because then you could have said, like, well, maybe that's an art project. They're doing or something. But anyway, so they're like, they're in the evil bad guy truck and they're calling the boss and they're like, yeah, it looks like they're about to like blow everything wide open. Do you want us to do the thing? And they're like, all right, we'll do the thing.

Wait, should we wait until they get inside the car to do the thing? No, do it. Whatever. Right now. This moment, literally this second right now, I want them to have a me and Heath trying to do a countdown. He said to do it. No, they're walking away from the car. Why would you do it? He said to do it. No, he's going to get it. All right, but so though, no, here's what happens though. They're about to do the bomb thing, but then jerk notices the bomb because it's covered in multi colored blinking LED lights. Yeah. There's a disco ball hovering above it somehow.

It's like a video game. I feel like bad guys put way to it. It's beeping. Just don't have an audio component. Boss, can we take that off? I don't know. Did you buy that? Was that extra? Really? You know, what I had to be an extra, yeah.

But dirt yells, it's a bomb. So Bucker and Connor, that's that's a brain that's Kevin Sorboson, they get out of the way just in time, but Turk explodes and dies. We're done with. Oh no, you did that car and led before you left. Yeah, no, then they would have never gone to him. Yeah, right. They're driving the lead car.

So, okay. So we head back to the church where the pastor is trying to convince Chloe and Sam Sorbo that this is the rapture despite the fact that the TV says that the rapture theory has been debunked, right? And Chloe is just like arguing back and it's the best. My hair part of that is she's blocking Fern from getting baptized and for about to die of the coughing like any minute. It's so good. She's like, he should the fuck up. I'm dying. You heard me in the Doppler effect earlier. Let's fucking go. Well, and Chloe, of course, is the stand-in for your niece that always beats you in arguments and Thanksgiving and makes you feel really bad about yourself.

Right? That, like, the whole movie is about, like, but what if you turned out to be right and your niece sure would be sorry then, right? Right. And she's like, well, so tell us a little bit more about the details of what this tribulation will be like. And I wrote my notes, if Eddie doesn't mention the scorpion horse love, you're sick. Yeah. It's so good. Hey, how many bowls of blood will God pour out?

Do you think they're a specific Number of bowls of blood that God are gonna pour out? So and then she says and I love this so god damn much. She says what about all the people who claim that the rapture Isn't in the Bible and I wrote my notes claim the people who claim that the rapture isn't in the Bible. And I wrote my notes claim. So to be clear, she means Catholics, the fucking rapture is not in the Bible. The rapture is a thing that some dude came up with in the 18 fucking 50s or some shit. Right, there is no reference to it whatsoever in the historical record or in the Bible. You have to misinterpret it. It's credible. Like, you know how Mormonism is credible. Yeah, right. It's credible.

Exactly. The same long and story tradition. So she's like, well, here is, here's a reference to the rapture right here in the Bible. It's 1 Thessalonians chapter 4, verse 17. And if you read this first, what it's very clearly saying is that the people who've already died will get to go meet Jesus a little bit before the people who are still alive, because of course, in the original conception of heaven, you were just dead when you died and then you got resurrected to go to heaven once Jesus comes back. The idea that like people are in heaven now and looking down on us, that's a much more modern concept, right? So what Paul's talking about in Thessalonians is very much that like the already dead Christians

are going to meet Jesus in the clouds, but we're going to have to wait till he gets all the way to the ground. Yes. Okay. And the little bit of time difference there is relative to fucking infinity to be clear. Yeah. But what I love about that shift in branding is it means sometimes around sometime around the 1500s Some guy raised his hand in Italy and was like wait, so we just a wet in the fucking ground Then you get to be in heaven forever and it was like that's a bullshit. I don't want to Right right now. I want a small group of Germans, many of whom participate in group sex to just clarify that for me.

So, yeah, and look, even if this did represent like proof positive that the fucking rapture was in the Bible, which again, it very doesn't. You would have to believe that for fucking 1800 years, people were reading this and not noticing the rapture. But even if it was like, so God in his fucking inspired-ass book just tucked away the rapture in a fucking small part of one letter at the end of the second goddamn half of the fucking end of the Bible. It's like me remembering to add stuff to the grocery list once. Oh fuck,, actually, we need diapers and wipes and diaper.

I don't have room for cream. Chrissy RM. Yeah, right. No, it's only in the margins. Yeah. Oh, and then we get the scene where Buck has to sneak into Princeton and get that lead line laptop that dirt had moved. So sad.

They wanted an action scene, and they were like, what about escape from Princeton down in the street? Hey, hey, failures, I love this action scene you're working on. You'll never seen them scuba-do cartoons where he goes in one door, and then the monster comes at the other. They were like, recreate that. Princeton has that. Oh. That's exactly. Can we do that?

But deadly serious and end it with a deadly serious dumpster crawl. Yes. Yeah, he gets out and a to a chart. This is the closest anything as has come to happening at any point in the movie, right? There at least is a chasing. But gets out before the bad guys and he looks around and he's like, oh, I'll never make it in time. So he jumps into this dumpster and hides there with the laptop.

The bad guys come out right behind him. They don't see him. They're like, what do you think? Maybe he jumped in the dumpster. One of them actually says, well, what about dumpster? And rather than you know, looking, the guy just shoots the dumpster four times and he goes, I'm sure that would have killed. I'm sure if he was in the dumpster. Are you going to shoot all the dumpsters?

No, no, just the one that he could, the other are 11 fucking dumpsters inside. He just shoots the one that bucks the end. He shoots the one that bucks in. I wrote down, please tell me the lead coated laptop was in his breast pocket and saved him from that gun shot. And it actually ended up. I don't think they did the breast pocket, but like it saved him. He pulls his bullet out of the bottom of the bullet.

The bullet proof laptop. Yes. I apologize movie. Your lead line laptop made a ton of sense. Yeah. And then also by the way, Chloe, we cut to Chloe. She's digging a grave, hoping that perhaps that's where the plot is buried. So now Dr. Sam Sorbo shows up at the church to see K-Sorps because obviously they're trying to build a love interest between him and his wife for the next movie as well.

So they sit down to have some dialogue about why they didn't believe in Jesus when people tried to warn them back before the rapture. Oh my god Porn Why Stupid heathen we are? It goes on like that for so long. Just do your fucking movie. But this is the money shot, right? This is where the audience comes. They're them sitting around going like, yeah, I sure wish that I had been nicer when people

tried to warn me about the very serious and real thing that is the Christian rapture. There's also that they went out there like they're discussing, you know why they weren't Christian. And finally he asks Sam, sort of, oh, he's like, so why did you ever become Christian? And she says, and I quote, I was just never able to get there. I assume.

Did you, did you ever work the ass at all? Because that's, I wrote, I wrote, I got to introduce toys and I also wrote Leens his head and she says that a lot The bottom of your face Squeeze the bottom of the face and then It helps your older But so stupid to because she's like so are you telling me you have no doubt now that you're Christian and he goes like no

I still have some doubt. I'm like, why was he still have some doubt? You're always rapture. Yeah. He goes, faith isn't about having no doubt. That's knowledge. And I wrote, damn, pretty damning sentence there movie. Yeah. Oh, I could listen to this movie desperately plot around

in search of profundity for the rest of my fucking life It was so good and then Sam Sorbo tries to cry Yes, I remember my notes the last time I heard faith this badly defined Noah was on the All right, so then we cut to Bucky shows up at the graveyard where Chloe's digging up her grandma. Yeah. And I'm sorry, she dug a perfect six-foot hole in a couple hours.

I'd say, first of all, bodies are only varied about four feet deep and you can take that hole in four to five hours and you're not at all surprised that I know that. That's, I, yep. Definitely can't take that hole in four. Okay, no, yeah, you might, you would probably have to call me. Yeah.

So it is weird though that she dug out room for them to stand beside the coffin inside the grave. That seemed excess. So we can open it dramatically. Yeah, there's such a stupid line in here where he goes, I can't believe you dug a grave. She's like, well, I'm just like Mr. Stoneigaw, but at least I'm not digging my own grave. I'm like, what the fuck are you going for? Okay, but to be clear, grandma got married like normal and then got zooped at the rapture

because grandma was a good Christian, right? Yeah. So to be clear, heaven has a bunch of horribly decomposed bodies. Thank you, Heath. Yes, you get up to heaven You've been a Christian your whole life Christ comes and seals you like a thief in the night only to be greeted by a sea of hundreds of millions of dead-mid-eval peasants just be like oh

Yeah, well and if they're not Oh, no, Jesus. Right. Propore on it. Yeah. Well, and if they're not skeletal fucking remains up there, then why would God need to take the bodies out of the fucking conference? Yeah. Wait a second.

We're just going to just thought of it. During the tribulation, they're going to dig up and fuck all the former Christians. I know. Sarah, let's bat a little clean up. Go down there and get them. Okay. Sarah, let's battle a little clean up. Go down there and get a look. Yeah. And just like all of our tribulation apocalypse movies that you get zooped, but your clothes stay there.

So we see grandma's dress in the coffin here. And that's pretty fucking weird too that they make you like check in for heaven completely naked like a goddamn prison. Yeah. Why not? Like you have stuff. Like shorts and a t-shirt? Show up to St. Peter's. Yes. Well, it looks like you did many good deeds,

but I can't see your penis. So it's hard. It's the same thing we do to tell you to. You need to. Yep. Very important. So did not see that coming. Oh, that brings up another question. If you don't die in the rapture, if you die in normal, you have to get untressed when you get up. All the rapture people are

going to come naked. Yeah. Can you one second? Yeah. So just strip down it. We're in bicycle shorts and a sweater over the butcher paper there. This is wearing a sweater with a weedy bird on it when I tied. So meanwhile, so we cut back to Pastor Barnes shirt. He's wearing a sweater with a weedy bird on it when I tied. I get this thing off. So meanwhile, so we cut back to Pastor Barnes Church. He's preaching. He's got a tiny little band of people who are going to turn to Jesus and he's preaching at him. Chloe and Buck show up and Chloe is convinced she's going to like say the magic words

and become a Christian. Buck isn't quite there yet, right? Impressive Buck. Can I say super impressive? You were there when she opened grandma's grave. Yes, exactly. You would have to believe either that the rapture happened or that Chloe was fucking with you, that Chloe hid the body somewhere and put the dress back there and then called you. It would be partially buried in and then called you. Yeah. So the chicken fucker grandma's corpse. Yeah.

Also, we should point out that Chloe took grandma's cross necklace from her coffin. Yep. I feel like it would smell like dead decaying flesh, wouldn't it? No, the god came and cleaned all that. Oh, okay. I'm just picturing Sarah Huckabee Sanders, which you have to really listen to all our shows to understand why I'm picturing that with a fucking wet vac just being like, oh man, this blows. I got like 800 billion more people than two. So yeah, so she's got the debt that she goes to pray and been turned to Jesus or whatever. She sits beside Kevin Sorbo.

He looks at her necklace and has that, wow, you just dug up my mom to check and see if her body disappeared. Didn't you kind of look on his face? Wish that's how good an actor he is. He had that face to go to, right? Your necklace smells like maggots on a D-mind putting that in the other room.

And so while they're Jesus'ing though, Bach is calling Hayam. Apparently, Hayam is a friend to his from way back. So he's going to now warn the main bad guy about the second to the main bad guy. Hey, this is really important. Important Moishi Manora banker. Um, so Stone of Gaul. Hello, but yeah, one second.

Let me put you on my speaker phone. Okay. Okay. Do you have it on? Do you have it on? I one second. Let me put you on my speaker phone. Okay. Okay. Do you have it on? Do you have it on? I can't hear you have it on. I can't hear you press press speaker Can you hear it now? He must have up. Oh my god Anyone who calls a Jew that was their favorite part of If you haven't called a Jew, you don't know what we're talking about but trust me. That's what it's like Goju. So Hi-O goes to see Niklai. He's like, hey, I just got off the phone with this guy and he tells me that Stona Gala is the main bad guy

So you know, there's might be some anti-cresting of what we better look out and the anti-crest is like, oh might be some anti-cresting But it's very important that you told me about that But he's making demon noises. Well, he's saying, he's like, yes, we'll definitely rule look into that. And he's like, sorry. Did you just do like a bowl rower noise? Like a thing. I thought that was you.

I just wondering, did you say whisper? Okay, that plus he literally does the slow chair turn. I wrote my notes that you're doing slow turn when I walked in the room. He just said, hopefully, are you fucking evil? Because are you now? But the slow to what? The slow to not. I was not.

I was the henchman around my window, which is behind me. Come in again, all sit normal. I don't like fast turning so I didn't slow. So I'm sorry. No, I am. I have an inner ear thing. All right, so we cut back to the church. Kevin Sorbo is still filling out his, uh, his rapture timeline.

Chloe sure is sorry for not being Christian earlier, right? So, I'm sure that the Revin Sorbo is still filling out his, his rapture timeline. Chloe sure is sorry for not being Christian earlier, right? And this is where Buck comes in and he's like, hey, I just wanted to let you guys know that I just warned Nikolai Carpathia that somebody around the UN there was the antichrist. So, we should be fine, right? Cool.

And they're like, great, do you want to learn about the timeline of the antichrist and everything that he's doing and all of his plans first? He's like, I know the beats right? Horns, balls of blood. Yada, yada, yada, yada. I'll take it. I'll take it through.

It's TV, baby. Yeah, it's TV. Come on. Well, jazz. Well, he's about, and. Yeah, it's TV. Come on. Well, jazz. Well, he's about, and he's about to walk out, but then he notices that on Kevin Sorbos timeline, he's written out like two Thessalonians, two four or whatever, which was the password that got them into the demonic PayPal, right?

Holy shit. Which means that the password's actually worse than security.org was giving it credit for when I checked, but yeah. So he's like, wait a minute. Maybe I do want to learn more about this. So then we cut immediately to him explaining to us what was just explained to him in the middle of that cut, right? The only way for this to be more redundant would be for the narration to cut in over,

but Buck is explaining right now what happened in the last scene to Nick Stone. He has a fishing trip next summer, so he's not there. Hey, man, can you just go hang out with Braden for a little bit? Yeah, that's right. So we were all set. I'm also in the movie. We got some pot from the camera guy. He's like, he's like, so wait a minute. We're all set. I'm also in the movie. We got some pot from the camera guy.

So he's like, he's like, so wait a minute. You're telling me that if he's the 80 Christ, the next thing we should see is him trying to build a Jewish temple in the Middle East and a seven year peace treaty. And he's like, that's exactly what we're telling it. If that happens in the next scene, then you'll know that we're right. And he's like, oh, okay, interesting, interesting. I love to say do this like a detective montage almost. They're like looking at their timeline and they're like, so yeah, this slap is the anti Christ. Did you bring that rod with you just to do that one slap? Yes, I did. That's the enterprise right there.

And they like move his picture to the top of the Rico chart and they're like figuring it all out. It's stupid. But they've got the wrong antichrist. They think Stona Gaulis the antichrist, very, very important. So he goes to he's got to go meet the UN people. So he's like, pray for me. And then after he walks out, Pastor Barnes says that boy's going to do it a lot more than prayer. And I'm like, why? Prayer is omnipotent magic for you idiots, right? Like, isn't it, like, it's infinity times infinity powers? But apparently he's gonna need more than that. It is, yeah.

Chloe follows the mountain. She's like, do you sure you don't want to become a Christian before this movie's over because you could die? And he's like, no. And they have a big romantic hug. Yeah. And she gives him the shitty jewelry from Dead Grammar. Right.

She's like, promise me you'll wear this so that we can get $8 from fucking sales and an Instagram blog or whatever the fuck we go to shit. And then he says, and then he says, I love you, Chloe Steele, and leaves. Yes. There has to be such a long outtake real for him trying to do 100% we're watching the sunset behind them. So okay, so then we cut to the UN before the big meeting with everybody, we have buck meeting with Hayam and finding out that they are building a Jewish temple in the Middle East and signing a seven year

peace treaty. Yeah. And look, we've watched a lot of apocalypse movies, a lot of the anti crisis was into power. And I'm always interested how they handle the temple being rebuilt on the dome of the rock thing. Yeah. Right. And so for this movie, and this is a first, I will say, well, it's not because this is,

this is what they, that's what they did in the other version of the same movie when they did. Well, it's not because this is this is what they that's what they did in the other version of the same movie. Oh, that's right. They did the other. Yes, that's true. But what they come up with, no, no, no, what we realized is we're going to put it next to the dome of the rock. It's going to be next stuff. We're going to have a nice fence. It's going to be great. Nobody's going to know. It will be no. Yeah, but watch like a sitcom where they put a little piece of white tape down the center. We're going to do that with the Holy Land. You know how all the fences in, you know, like you ever watched like a sitcom where they put a little piece of white pig down the center. We're going to do that with the Holy Land. You know how all the fences in you know, Palestine is really, it goes really well. We're going to do that.

Really well. You know, it's not we're going to just do that. But this is where Buck realizes that the Christians were right all along. So he runs into the bathroom and finds Jesus. And let me just say if you find Jesus in a public restroom, you should let him finish and then give your life over to him once he's tried his hands. But yeah. But he has the big like looking in the mirror and

crying about how he loves Jesus and Jesus take the wheel and all of that. Forgive me. Maybe I don't know. Maybe I keep my job just because in case that was the problem for me. I don't know. I don't know.

Maybe I waited to lead a text message from the other person's phone after you send it. I don't know. That was in know. Maybe I waited to lead a text message from the other person's phone after you send it. I don't know. That was in my three prayers. There you go. Yeah, yeah. Do you get three wishes, right? Are you still shitting?

Up in. And then he leaves Conor of Voice mail telling him that he did in fact find Jesus. So he's good. Hey Conor, I know this doesn't seem likely that I would call you a camera man. But I'm excited. Whatever it is, but let's do it. I'm leaving you a voice mail man. It's not answering. I mean, I'm in the voice now.

You're part of them ending. So I'll see you. I'm not excited. All right. Excellent. I got to say I was excited because Sorbo's kid is having a star turn right now. And I think that is great. It's great. Fucking for the podcast. Look, look, he's already brought us so much joy by surprising his father with TikTok challenges. The least we can do is feature him on our podcast. Absolutely, absolutely. We hope we hope for a long career from you,

Braden. Braden, this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. We have a race car bed with your name. You have to share it with this guy. But yeah, you did. Okay. So Buck and Conner meet up for the for the big ending. Now he's going to the fucking narrator might as well just be cutting in said, ooh, wait until you see this next part, you're going to love this. So but he goes to the UN meeting, you know, to the big evil circle table. Private UN meeting. Hey, guys, so for the world domination PayPal meeting that we're setting up here's what I was thinking Crazy circle desk inside a big arena. That's a good thing to do.

I love that so that nobody watching can see, but also the people on stage can't see. That's what I was thinking. They wouldn't be able to see. You're saying we would place several countries with their backs to the audience. Yeah. No, no, no. Not a big argument about it, but we'll tell them like you're a shenanotry. Nobody cares to the audience. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm a big argument about it, but we'll tell them like you're a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan.

I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan.

I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan.

I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. I'm a shenanigan. No, no good guys ever sat at the table. It's shaped like that. So yeah, they probably should stop doing that. But yeah, so he's explaining all the plot. Now, we don't want to like sit through that yet again. So the narrator cuts in and basically goes, you know, yada, yada, yada. And then we cut to buck wrapping up. And he's like, and that's why I know

that Stonogall is the anti-Christ. And then we get this weird fucking moment. Now I'll just explain to the audience what's happening here. Nikolai Carpathia has hypnotized everybody using his anti Christ powers and is explaining to them what they're going to think happened after the hypnotism. But what we see is him just walking around going like in a moment, there will be a shootout and there will be a this guy will pull out his gun and he'll try to shoot this guy and that question uh you you said shootout and you're doing like a pacing talk it's pretty evil I heard a demon echo thing and like a hissing thing or do you

guys hear that it's I feel like he might be evil nobody don't interrupts what what it actually comes across if that I think is so funny is it seems like the actor what's the actor's name? Oh hell I don't. It seems like the actor who plays Nick like Carpavia is doing a walk through for the movie, right? It seems like the actor's like, so then there's going to be a shoot out here there, but then the scene just says he's putting like tape X's on the ground. Well, right, it's like they didn't have the money to shoot the fucking gunfight. Yes. Yeah.

So, but then he just pulls out a gun and he shoots Neomactonus character because they couldn't get Neomacton to back. Let's be honest. And then everybody walks away thinking that the thing that he just said is what happened. Everybody that is except for the guy who just turned his life over to Jesus and therefore

has armor of God powers. Oh, yeah. He's got the Magneto helmet of God that blocks the mind control. Quick thing though, there's so many better ways to do this if you have mind control over the entire world, right? Yeah. You don't have to like murder a bunch of diplomats. Do any of this?

You can just do whatever you want with the mind control. That would be good. Yeah, you do things. Yeah. Also, sorry, I hate to add corrections on the air, but um, buck, even though he's turned his wife over to Jesus, he's not the only one on the sea through his Nikolai's lies. No, Connor, the cameraman. The camera man.

The man. The coach's son. Who is the picture right now. Yes, he is. Yes, he is. He's literally bouncing on his toes while the antichrist explains this. Oh, he's got a gun. Oh, no, no.

What are you going to do in the movie? I'm in a movie. Hey, shut up. We can all hear you. Shoulder. You shut up. My dad's the director. So they all shuffle out thinking that the thing Carpathia just said is what happened. And Buck keeps asking him, hey, guys, what did you see happen? And they're like, the thing that Carpathia said is what happened. He's like, oh, no, evil mind control powers, right? is what happened to you say oh no evil mind control powers right. Okay so nobody else had anything like herbindicular like the cross necklace that he had nobody

nobody was a Christian in the higher you and meeting. Not yeah clearly not well not a true Christian obviously he come on okay. So buck is like oh well I'm gonna have to enact a big thing and act three. Otherwise, there will be have been no plot at all This movie's almost over, right? So he calls Connery calls Chloe. They all put it all together and what they're gonna do Nikola Carpathia is about to give his big speech about adopting the one world currency But they're gonna hack into all the world's fucking TV stations again. Okay. And he's gonna give a speech. Buckercarrelson's gonna give a speech about how Jesus is the one true

Lord and Savior. How many Christian movies have we done that they couldn't think of anything but like hack the world channel of TV? Yep. I'm the TV now. And now we give speech. I am, I'm the TV. It's so fucking dumb. Yeah. But how much do you guys want this to happen? Like how amazing would it be if during Joe Biden's next speech about infrastructure, fucking a sweaty shirtless Tucker Carlson just breaks into the MSNBC. It's all that is Jesus. I have a screenshot. I want you to point a camera at a screenshot of some Bible verses like your grandma taking a picture of a picture in an album. She won't take out this.

I farted. I'm going to jump in a sensor that out. It's fine. Keep going. So then so he escapes. He has to escape from the TV station. We have this car chase where the henchman that fired at the dumpster earlier are chasing them and it's one of these great

we've seen several of these but it's one of these great like we cannot afford to dent these vehicles chase scenes. So there are like empty 11 lane the insurance for our one hour rental of this Kia Rio. No. Okay. So he, yeah, they, they have the chase scene and he, you just barely escapes and he, he gets to an airfield and he had a plane waiting with Sorbo in it, of course, at a large rural airfield minutes from Midtown Manhattan. From Manninghouse.

Yes, they were in goddamn New York. God, where do they find a fucking empty 11 lane highway? Anywhere near New York city. And what I love here is they get in the plane, they start to take off and the van continues to chase them. Yeah, the bad guys in the van are like, I could get you up to the airplane. Get me up.

If I go as fast as it, I'll fly too. I'm sure I would just get on the count of three. We both go like a little jump and then we miss it. You have mushroom. See we put the bomb in their plane. Damn it. I knew we used our bomb to see. So yes, so but bug gets in the plane. They take off. They get away just in time. The narrator cuts in to say, and if you thought this movie was exciting, well, you didn't, but the next movie though, now that we've set it all up, maybe we'll have the budget to do some exciting stuff in the next one.

And the movie closes over footage of them, Leite, Julie, jeez, Jesus leaflets out of their plane. Yes, yeah, they fly away and Kevin's rope is like, this looks like a good spot and they start just pushing those pamphlets from earlier out. Yes. Yeah, they fly away and Kevin's rope is like, this looks like a good spot. And they start just pushing those pamphlets from earlier out. Now, when he says, this looks like a good spot. He means Manhattan. It's New York City. They, they, they drop like 30 pamphlets out the window of their tiny little air. They went, they land in three square feet. Yeah.

And then they show the people of New York City being so fucking psyched So people in New York City are like, oh my god somebody dropped garbage from this building up above us. Let's read it right now I love it. This is about something cosmically important. I hope someone hands me this later in person. This would be amazing Yeah, she's sitting that person's mouth. I just wanted the movie to end with all of them falling in the Hudson River and them going like, yeah, the winds are really fucking strong. All right. Well, obviously we need more of this in our lives. There are 14 fucking books. We could get a dozen more of these fucking movies. So any ideas for the tagline for the next one.

Uh, left behind two, three George Santos was right about everything. Yes, he was. Uh, a left behind three conners way. Yeah. So all right. Well, I guess that's going to do it for a review of left behind rise of the Antichrist, but that's not going to do it for the episode yet because we still need to paint another ax on the pavement for next week.

So Eli, tell us what's on deck. Well, Noah, after the highest highs of this week, there's only one thing that can fill my fix for nonsense. And that's the anti-psychiatry, Scientology documentary, psychiatry, and industry of death. Oh, no, that'll be fun. So with that to look forward to, we're gonna bring up episode 403 to one

merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that helped make the show go. If you'd like to catch yourself among their ranks, you can make a pre episode donation at patreon.com. So I got off on there by earning an early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help it to end by leaving a five star review

and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows this again, the Aesthetic Native D&D Minus and the Skape Academy available wherever podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, or suggestions, you can email Godoff and movies at gmail.com. Tim Robertson takes care of our social media. Our theme song was written in the form by a random slot

to give people drafts on Mars. All the other music was written in the form by our audio engineer Morgan Cargan. I'm a voice user with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week. For Heathen, knee-librastic on the illusions promised to work hard to earn the chunk next week until then. We'll leave you with a breakfast club close. Dominator Analytics Winon to rig a bunch more elections after getting $700,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 million dollars from WGN. Braden Sorbo went on to Assistant Manager Starbox.

Kevin Sorbo has plenty of time to make the rest of the left behind of these guys. Just hit him up on Canyl. So sad. So sick. Thank you.