God Awful Movies - 416: He Who Finds a Wife

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

We watched He Who Finds a Wife, along with first time guest masochists Kat and Tee of the Bible Breakdown podcast. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

Okay, no, no. Jacking off is pretty much gay because you have your hand on a man's dick. So you can. I mean, that's never been a problem for me on the other end of this. What if I'm doing that and I'm not attracted to myself? Then it's fine, right? Ooh. It's still gay, it's just a hate fuck.

What if I fight myself as hard as I can? What if my wife is having gay thoughts? You're just describing hotter and hotter sex. Thank you. Thank you. So that's all that's happening there. God awful. Movie.

Movie. Movie. Movie. Movie. Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be Fantastic. Excellent. And we also have two brand new first time guest massacasts. Cat and T from the Bible breakdown podcast. Cat T. Welcome to the show. Thanks for having us. Thanks for having us. I don't know what massacast is, but I'll take it. It's someone who likes being hurt. Oh, it's like I'm a glutton for punishment. That's being a massacast, yeah. I was like I'm a glutton for punishment. That's being a mess, I guess, yeah.

It's the M and S and M. That's it? Not a lot of people know that. So thanks for bringing me. Yes, now we all know. That's the M. So, Kat, tell us what horrible M type of movie are we going to be breaking down today? Thank you for asking, Keith.

Today, we will be breaking down the 2009 Daniel L. Ross film he who finds a wife. It's a story about a black man named Ansel who thinks he loves his fiance Lauren until his new coworker breathe the salient who apparently needs this job because she has outgrown all of her clothes offers

up extra temptation during a sudden bout of abstinence before their wedding. That's all accurate. That's all true. Yeah. Yeah. Happen in this movie. That is the movie. Yeah.

Believe it or not, and Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you love the thinly veiled morality plays of Tyler Perry, but big mama's house three was a bit too subtle and well acted for you. You will love this movie. And is there anything y'all would like to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? Um, can I go first? Oh, please. Kat, please. Okay. Yes, I want to nominate this for best worst sex scene.

Woo. For sure. And you don't? I mean, and it's really easy because most Christian movies don't even have sex scenes, so they were really, you know, very bold to even have one, but it was terrible. Yes. So, very shoulders-centric sex one, but it was terrible. Yeah. So it's a very shoulder centric sex scene. That's what I can't wait to talk about the sex scene because how dumb is this guy?

So dumb. It was very shoulder heavy. Indeed. I didn't realize at the time, but you know, those a lot of that. Yeah. A lot of a lot of shoulder a lot of that. Okay. So for best worst, I was gonna go with best worst failed meet cute. Yes. I don't think the movie, somebody in the movie heard like, oh, you're supposed to do this thing called a meet cute where the two of the characters meet.

But A, it's not the two protagonist characters. It's not the main couple that do that. And they do the opposite of a meet. They do like a meet gross. And then we're still attracted to each other for no reason later. I honestly don't know what this guy had on any of the women. I don't know why they were attracted to him. I also was confused by that. Thank you. Tee's hard. Thank you. Yeah. He was the worst. I think I wrote down some of Tee's quotes while we was watching this

together. And I'm going to replace one of the's quotes while we was watching this together. And I'm going to replace one of the words he says, you can try to guess what it is. He said, why do they like this ninja? Like they really couldn't like, yeah, like you were very like frustrated and befuddled. I just, I didn't understand like, you know, usually a star character or main character has, you know, charisma or something, you know, a lot of character or main character has charisma or something, you know, a la James Gandalfini is Tony soprano or something like that. But I just didn't get it.

I don't, he, I never was on board with them at all. Yeah. Ansel does not make sense. Solid solid objection. And I'm going to take the easy one. I'm going to go with best worst cell phone rings. Oh, God. Everyone will have

a lot of aggressive in this threat and they will be different in every scene. I haven't heard any of them since before the towers fell. It was a very conflicting set of them. It is. It was the audio was so terrible that the phones would be so loud and clear. It's like, what the hell?

Is that in the room with me right now? Exactly. Where everything else was just like am I suddenly back in 2003? I'm scared. See they made your mixing board. Exactly. Exactly. No, but I wanted to say I called Ansel great value Tyrese. Yes.

I see that. He was a very smooth Kirk Very smooth. Kirkland brand. Kirkland brand. He just seemed careless like. No. I do have a best worse on my end, too. It's best worse Tony Braxton impersonation theme song for their entire group.

Oh, definitely. 100% yes. It was like the opening bars were unbreak my heart and then it wasn't. It was very old. It's like a stifled sneeze. It was like two drunk bars were unbreak my heart and then it wasn't. It was very old. It's like a stifled sneeze. It was like two drunk for karaoke, Tony Braxton. All right, I think we're going to take a quick break.

And then we'll be back to tell you all about he who finds a wife. All right, everybody. Welcome to the first writers' room meeting for he who finds a wife. Alright, now we want to create something that really strikes at the heart of infidelity. But we want to talk about the church. And the relationships we have with our parents. Of course, of course all those things are important. And it's also important that we really look, if you're not gonna let me nut,

I am going to cheat on. Sorry, Greg, what? I just think it's important that all the ladies out there know that when the nutto meter is full, I need to release. And how I do it is not my fault. You know what I'm saying? Men, women, the nutto meter needs to be lower.

Please stop saying nutto meter. That'd be great. It's like I always tell my friends, I'm saying? Men, women, the nutto meter needs to be lower. Please stop saying nutto meter. That'd be great. It's like I always tell my friends, I'm a fuck machine. And if I don't run on the regular, I get rust in my gears. And that is unacceptable. More unacceptable than cheating. Way more. So you guys read all the stuff you were just talking about.

And then I'll sprinkle my stuff about the nutto meter throughout the movie. So if you'll excuse me, I think the Unisex bathroom is call in my name. Can we get the maintenance staff to call right now? Got it. Okay, thank God. Do you have to stop? No can do, baby.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hey, hey guys, uh, no, what are you doing here? I thought you're on vacation. Well, I am technically, but the venue for our lost Vegas show just confirmed. So we're dropping it in kind of last minute. We're doing a lost Vegas live show. You know, and baby got off of move is live in since city October 28th. It's going to be so good. It's okay. Is it going to do Elvis like the whole time? I, I, I hope he's done by the time we get there. Yeah, okay, Eli.

Elvis, please. Absolutely, not gonna call you that. Eli, do we have platinum and VIP tickets? I'll answer, we sure do. VIP tickets guarantee you a seat in the first few rows plus a meet and greet with us after the show. And platinum tickets get you a special friend and not a food games and hangin' out with the cast plus a whole heapin'

hunk of burnin' merch. Right. Yeah, but those almost always sell out before our show even airs, so you know, apologies if that's the case. Okay, so where do people get tickets? Gun off a movie's life, don't come, baby. But once again, act fast because our shows have been selling out. Faster than Greece lightning!

God off a movie's life.com, it's gonna be hilarious. He's just gotta work it out of his system by the time we do the show, right? He'll be done by then. If he doesn't, we can just leave him there. Okay, yeah. And then from there, I standing box jump into the squat position. I see.

Very impressive. Hey, what y'all doing? Oh, hey, Heath, I was just showing Cat and Team my perfect workout system. I call it starting CrossFit Strength 40, 2010 Sanity. It works every muscle in the body so hard, it might literally kill you. It certainly looks like it'll kill you. Yeah, Eli, if you're looking to get into

better shape, you don't need some gimmick program. You just need fit pod. What's fit pod? It's my favorite fitness app. Whatever your fitness level and goals might be, fit pod builds a dynamic workout plan just for you and they optimize future workouts based on your personal progress. So I'm not stuck with a workout program that's too hard or could injure me? Exactly.

FitBod's powerful technology understands your strength training ability, studies your past workouts, and adapts to your available equipment. Plus, you can learn new movements the right way with over 1,400 exercise demonstration videos. Wow, that's a lot of exercises. Indeed it is. In fact, I started using FitBod when they became a sponsor. I love how they adapt the workout to how I'm feeling and what I have available at home. That's why I, Ethan Wright, personally, endorse FitBod.

All right, guys, I'm in. Where do we sign up? Wherever you are in your fitness journey, get the most out of every workout with FitBod. Get 25% off your subscription at fitbod.me slashgam. That's F-I-T-B-O-D.me slash G-A-M. All right, well, I guess you guys don't want to watch me box jump into a squad after all, huh? Oh, no, we still definitely want to see that. I also want to see that.

Yes. I'm gonna leave my phone. And we're back. And we're going to start with a cutscene from a video game on like a floppy disk in a comic room 64 or something like that. And we get the logo for Maverick Entertainment. Yes, a logo that says, I don't have five whole dollars to hire someone on Fiverr to make our movie logo.

I'll do it myself. And we get a little bit of music while we see a married couple in bed and one of them kind of wakes up in the middle of the night. And it was like, it was clearly the music of like, oh my God, I hate your stupid face and you snore and it's been so. Hate this, I can't sleep ever. Yeah, my music note here was Apple Loops wants us to know that this is a very serious movie. And we get a little bit of VO from our narrator here. This is Lauren. She's going through flashbacks in her head of things that have happened to her recently. And one of them is there's going to be a sex timeout between her and her fiance until after the wedding.

Which what was that supposed to do? Yes, thank you. That was my question. If you've been doing it all this time and then now that you're going to like what? Like marriage counseling, it's like, oh, well, we don't want to piss God off. It does God have like a short-term memory loss problem where he only notices if you've

fucked within the most recent 48 hours before you're wedding? Of course, it's like a whole thing too of like where people do like recommitment ceremonies where they're like re-vergenalized and stuff like that because the biggest sin in the world is having sex. Like with someone for enjoyment. Of course. There's a ritual for re-vergenalizing. Is that a reason?

Yeah, like there's people who like, when they get back into church and stuff like that, they kind of like take a cell to see and they're like, no, I'm just abstaining until marriage. So it's like a second virginity. Okay, that's a weird magic spell they have. Yeah, and it works great as we see in the movie. Yeah, you can see it. It goes well for everybody.

So with that vital information conveyed, we watch a guy. This is Ansel. He's one of the two main characters. We talked about him a little in the intro. And this is the me cute. This is, he's best word. He bumps into a lady because he isn't looking and he immediately blames her for him not looking

where he's going. Right. And she very correctly identifies that he was at fault here. She's like, oh, yeah, I'm so sorry because, you know, social contract makes me say, sorry here, you did a crazy hip-check motion for no reason. And yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't leave you any room for your hip-check motion that was insane just now. And that's how they meet cute, according to the movie. I think. Yeah, I didn't realize you were going to do a surprise sum, but that's on me. I also feel like we're leaving out like how horrible the sound quality is.

Oh, yeah. We had to turn on the subtitles for at a certain point because it was just brutal. Yeah, it's really bad. I wish the subtitles could have taken over for the cell phone rings that we're going to hear instead of actually giving them to us. Oh my God. Just all caps taking up the entire screen. Yeah.

So with that beat cute out of the way, we're going to cut over to Ansel's office where his girlfriend Lauren, the other main character character is surprising him at work. So when you say office, are you talking about a room or are you just talking about an area with a desk? Yeah, it does hit a lot more closer to area with desk, but that does not stop Lauren from immediately sitting on his lap and open mouth kissing him. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. You know what? I really think happened here. I think they were planning on in post cropping it because they couldn't look like a stand-alone office if you couldn't see the top of the cubicle because I've done that before where we're like, oh, we'll fix it in post because there are some scenes where it does look like a office. I think they just forgot. Yeah, but they keep accidentally panning over to show us that this is an open office,

which makes the fact that they are open mouth kissing and she's like gently stroking around his nipples, even more horrifying. At one point in this scene, the boss walks in and he's like, oh, hey, are you, um, raw dog fucking someone in your cubicle right now just right next to the copier? It seemed like Ansel was actually delusional and believed he had a fully closed office, but he did not. And the rest of the universe around him just keeps showing up. And he's like, how do you keep getting past the secretary that I have that I don't have?

And the door that I have that I don't have? And the door that I don't have. Yeah. Well, he's obviously a very important. Did you get his job title? Yeah, it's director of Central Affairs. Right. So it's very important. The movie's about affairs. So he's got to couch in his office. That's very important. He has an overly comfortable couch in his office, right? I agree. Like, if you're not going to, offices have to have like, it has to be like squared away, and it's like good posture, not like I sink into it. And I want to watch Netflix type of couch, right?

Yeah. This is too comfortable. Yeah. If your office is not for having sex with porn stars pretending to be getting into casting for porn stars, you should not have this couch. I don't think so either. Okay, that is an irresponsible, unprofessional casting couch is what I'm saying, though.

It wouldn't even be good for that because you can't get good positions if it's not firm in the right spots. I'm just saying all around weird choice for unprofessional, unprofessional. And yes, that's the very least. And then one other thing happens in this scene, which is of course that Mr. Turner, the boss, introduces Bri to Ansel, Bri's the one who he would just super rude to outside. He's like, hey Ansel, so this is Bri. Don't have sex with her.

She's a farmer's daughter. And I'm out. He's. Yep. He learned the actor literally said, I wrote my notes. There is no joke I could write that is funnier than the actor going, I'm out. And then leaving the movie.

I'm out for a hot break. I'm out for a hot break. Yup. That was pretty great. So now we're going to watch Ansel and Lauren pull up to church for their first marriage counseling appointment. Is this the thing? Do people go to church and do church marriage counseling

right before they're wedding? Eli, you are adorable. Yes, this is a huge thing. I did it like you're strongly encouraged to do it. I'm pretty sure sometimes it costs money. And actually a lot of times they have courses you do. Like, does he watch righteous gemstones? And like the oldest son's wife, she does like a little, she has a little side hustle where she does marriage counseling stuff, packets and games

for people. Yeah. Yeah. It's a whole industry. So yeah, and actually, because you've got to sign up for the course because they have it where you sit down with the pastor in real life, you don't really sit down with the pastor. He doesn't have time for that. No, wait, you do it with a TA. You would be so lucky. I wish it was someone with the expertise of a TA. Like, you at least have to go to school to be a TA. This could just be any person and they're usually just encouraging you to just stay in whatever situation you're in because divorce makes baby Jesus cry.

Great. Right. Exactly. And weddings make their venue quite a bit of money. Yeah. So income's the pastor. It's time for marriage counseling. And he is three feet tall. Let's just say it. He is he is a toddler. He in my, he's a short American. Yeah. He and my child are the same height. And then they have a fight about the genders of their children. This was weird. And the order? Yes, the order. Yeah. So, so the pastor just comes in and he's like, so, you know, tell me about your future plans. And immediately, Ansel's like, fuck you, that's way too vague, which was like a weird start, strangely aggressive beginning to this discussion. And then he's like, well, my, okay, fine, I'll tell you about my plan to have a son and

then a daughter. And Lauren's like, well, or, you know, a daughter and then a son. And they argue back and forth for a second. And finally, the pastor's like, hey, so you can't control that. So that's a silly argument to have. We need to talk about Jewish ghost laws because they get down to business with that. It really matters for your marriage. And it feels like she makes up the we're not having sex rule like on the spot as an excuse, right? He's like, so how about pre-marital sex? And she's like, yes, we are stopping fucking now. Right? Right. Because Ansel's like love pre-marital sex. And she's like, so funny. He's hilarious.

No, but we are stopping. Yeah. We fucked on the in the car on the way here, but we're not, that's the last one for now. She's immediately slid shamed by the marriage counseling immediately, where it's just like, okay, yeah, I don't wanna be seen as one of these couples who are just shacking up. I wanna be seen as a respectable like Christian woman. And so I'm just gonna pretend like I'm doing this stuff. Yeah, exactly. And I love this to transition out of that. The pastor literally says,

okay, well I'm done talking about that. And then harasses them about not coming to church often enough. I just love the idea that the author of this movie was like, how does this pet, oh, I'm done talking about that. There we go. Perfect. It's a perfect way to segue. Strange. We get a little bit of like really poisonous Christian messages here too.

Lauren explains like, no, we do monogamy. That's a rule for me. And then the pastor jumps in and he's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, cheating actually is not a deal breaker. You're a woman. You kind of have to not, there's no divorce. That's not a deal breaker. You're a woman. You kind of have to not did. There's no divorce. That's not a deal breaker. It's just your job to be so attractive that that doesn't happen. Or else it's your fault. Right. Exactly. The balls in your court on that one. So don't be,

you know, getting all unattractive or getting all mouthy and turning him off and sending him into the arms of another woman because that's really, because I think since I've done the premier at counseling and like a lot of mainstream, like black, well not in a lot of them, but in a mainstream black church. And it, they're giving you this advice they've never taken.

Like to me when I notice people who've been in like long term committed relationships, like this isn't the advice they follow. Like unless they just want to be miserable, it just seems like it's about domination and making sure everyone's genitals are in the right place. Yes. Exactly. Terrible. And of course, Ansel's like, well, I think the pastor's right. He's a man of God. And the pastor just smiles and nods. And

he's like, yeah, that's, that's all correct. What you just said, I'm a man of God. It makes a ton of sense. It's your lady job to be attractive all the time. Yes. For else it's your fault. So with them all well-therapized, we're going to meet the star of the movie. Nay, the star of my heart. I'm talking, of course, Missy about Lauren's friend, Misty. Oh, she's fantastic. And we will meet her roasting carpets with Lauren at the carpet store. And Misty's very first action in this movie is to like point and laugh at some lady who still has rollers in her hair. There it is rollers. Good job. Yes. Yeah, it was very, once again, like this is very true to what it's like hanging out with like, what I would consider like decent Christian women, like there's so much gossip and like tearing

each other down, that's kind of one of the reasons I got out of it. And it's like, this woman's obviously struggling. She's there with their kids and or like, this woman needs help and you're just going to talk about her. And this is just like a, a black lady insight because church culture is so much about hair. You'll notice like all the women in the movie like have straight hair. It takes so much time and money for black women to have straight hair that that could be its own side movie. Interesting. I knew I was missing something. I wrote in my notes. Is it wrong to come

out with curlers in your hair like more? Apparently, there we go. Eli, you haven't heard like the bonnet controversy. Does this make it over to like white Twitter? The bonnet controversy. I've not heard that. I can't tell you how far I am from the part of the internet that knows about the bonnet controversy. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited to tell you about it. Okay, so black women, we wear something known as like a silk bonnet at night. And it kind of looks like the chef boyard decap but sat in and like saggy. And so sometimes women just leave the house with it still on, just like basically I woke up like this. And it's seen as sort of a sign of you're not together, you're not neat, you're not tidy.

And there's like a whole judgy thing going on about whether or not it's a lot of stuff. Oh, yes. It's very polarizing because I'm on the side of the fence of like, look, I mean, she managed to get a shirt on, good job. Yeah, where would have you want, exactly? Yeah. Like, I'm not once again, I don't like the bite, you know, because a lot of times if people look away, they might be going through something. You don't have to necessarily immediately go into like your badge or not dressed well. Sure. Okay. I don't have a problem with it. I think people should leave the house with it or without it or whatever. Like, it's not my decision. You know, like it's nothing to,

I feel like judge people on. I think we've just been conditioned here in the States to kind of dress down all the time. So I mean, I don't have a personally to have a problem with it, but I know people who feel like, oh, you should dress to impress when you go out or dress the way you wanna be treated when you go out. I don't know, man.

That's kind of where I'm at with it. Now, I will say you'll get better medical care and treatment if you don't go out like that. Like, it is a better way, you know, like if you want to be treated better in life, but I personally won't judge you for it. But like, yeah, you're going to catch some heat. Okay. So then let me ask you both, I have a pair of crocs that I wear with white socks and those

crocs have a photograph of my pug on them. Can everybody jump in and say no right away, please? Do you think those are a great idea? God damn. I mean, once again, I've been like, is everything okay? Thank you. No. That would be my first impulse.

I actually love Crocs. They're so comfortable, but I have to antagonize Eli all the time, just in character. It's just requirement. So I feel like, wait, Eli, how old are you? I would not wear Crocs. I refuse to wear Crocs. All right, T, you're getting some scathing atheist Crocs. They're coming to you.

Oh boy. I'm getting your address from Kat and you're getting ascetic scathing atheist. So many standing behind you right now with Crocs right behind you. Look on your feet. That's me. It astonishes me how Crocs have grown because when I was in junior high and high school, like we used to like look at those. What the hell are these? And yeah, people were them. I've heard they're I've heard really good things, but I just can't do it. I can't.

Crocs used to be a shoe for I have to shower at the hospital. And that's what I was going to say. It's going to save like, I took my daughter all the time, like all the kids in her school, just like they just got out of rehab. Like every single one of them, I'm like, I go out, all they need are cigarettes and that's exactly what the outside of rehab look like.

Exactly. Yes. So they make fun of rehab looks like. Exactly. Yes. So they make fun of some carpets for a little while. Misty almost fights a lady with rollers in her hair. All of this is so that Lauren can run into her ex, Jeff. Oh my God. And she sees him and he sees her and she immediately flees. So we catch up to Lauren being chased through the parking lot by her ex Jeff.

Hey, guys, bring it in. If a woman starts sprinting away from you, you got to not follow. Not follow. Got to not follow. Got to not follow. Got to not follow. Got to not follow. Got to not follow.

Got to not follow. Got to not follow. Got to not follow. Got to not follow. Got to not follow. Got to not follow. Got to not follow. Got to not follow. Got to not follow. Unless you have an epic pen like I'm pretty sure she tripped on purpose so that I could catch up to her This is another example of why I don't understand Lauren knows how to pick them because Jeff is not a fucking catcher either No, because the women in this film were beautiful they were for sure like they were really stunning and like the

Because I feel like Lauren she looks like Sierra's cousin. Absolutely. She has like perfect bone structure and the siren breed. Like she kind of, like I caught her breed these thousands but there are some similarities there. She was the precursor. So like, yeah, but the guys are just like, I said he looks, Jeff looks like a Kirkland brand, Neil

Winters from Young and the Restless. Yes. You know who Jeff reminds me of red from Friday? Really? Ooh. I mean, with the bruises maybe. Yeah. Yeah, the bruise was what I was going to go with for sure.

Jeff, by the way, we'll have giant, unacknowledged bruises all over his face throughout this movie. And we'll never like have been in a fight. I just imagine this guy gets his ass kicked all the time and showed up to set and was like, Hey, everybody ready to shoot the movie and they're like, God damn it, Jeff. No, Eli, this is what happened. So like, when this, when this is happening in the parking light, he's there with his girlfriend and just abandoned her to run after Lauren. And she goes in the parking light. And like, I was like, Jeff's pinpanda strong because he tells her, wait there, I'm handling this. Yeah. And he's just talking to Lauren while his, I keep

calling her the white girl, because she didn't have a name. But like, Jeff's white girl was like, I just said she got her lick back. And that's why he has that big night. That was for leaving me in the park a lot. Yeah, that's what the bruises from Lake Girl walks out there and he's just like, hi, honey. Yeah, I started chasing this woman and now we're talking. Just give me a second. Be cool. Everybody except Misty in this universe does nothing about that. Everybody has to ask so many more questions about the guy chasing a lady into a parking

lot or anywhere. Misty is the only one who's like, I'm going to choke this guy out, right? Let me choke him out. I'm going to do it. Yes. And then Misty waits in the car for the scene. She's like, okay, I'll be in the car. And so this is a very long scene where he's like, I miss you.

And she's like, you cheated on me. It turned out you were married. Bobo, Bobo, Bobo. And the entire time the scene was going on, I was like, Missy is dying in the car like a poorly watched baby right now. At least turn it on and give the girls some aid. Back the window. Yeah.

Crack a window for Missy. Come on. Okay, one other moment that has to be mentioned is the best worst slap of all time in the scene. Oh, gosh. Oh, what was that even for? Right, so Jeff, Jeff is like, I still love you and tries to give his speech about like, I want you back to Lauren. He cheated on

her and left her. So obviously she's like, no, go fuck yourself. And she does a slap. And okay, it was such a sad way too light slap that I'm certain she hit him pretty hard on the previous take. And he was like, God, what the fuck? So like this was like, all right, I'm not going to hurt you fine. We'll take it again. So now now I have a counter theory and cat. I hate to argue with your theory because I think it's a solid one. What if that bruise is from the first day?

Okay, that's not out of the question. So much funnier. So the next day, she's visiting her client, Ronnie. Oh, God. Don't worry, this scene will never matter, but it will be oddly homophobic, so we are gonna talk about it. It turns out that Lauren is a publicist for Ronnie,

who's a rapper, but he keeps getting caught being gay. What? Wow. Now, he got caught in a party. I know I thought he got caught with a picture. When they're like a picture because I wrote down in my notes like gay rapper Eddie Murphy. Right. It was it was both. It was that and there was a picture of him with a drag queen.

So everybody was being big. It's about that too, I think, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she actually, Lauren actually reads like a headline from some paper about this. And it says hardcore rapper by day, homo thug by night. There's exactly where I was like, that's a really good like premise for a superhero movie. But yeah, it's like a negative headline. Now you're horrible bigots for portraying it that way. Okay, movie. I'm sure it'll be

in the New York Times opinion section any day now. Yeah. So now we're going to cut over to Ansel's office. Then he and Bri are, you got to stop saying office man. Yes. Yeah. You're really. And cubicle is generous. Ancels. Yeah. You're really. I feel like you think cubicle is generous. It's not. I don't think realtors would allow you to list this as an office. Ancels area. Okay. Okay. Sorry to be like that. Oh, no, no, no, it's important.

Truth and advertising. He and Breer putting covers on TPS reports or whatever, but it's just so that they can flirt some more. Yeah. And she's like, so you want to have a fuck lunch? And he's like, what? And she's like lunch. Yes, reports or whatever, but it's just so that they can flirt some more. Yeah. And she's like, so you want to have a fuck lunch and he's like, what? And she's like lunch and he's like, what? I don't know. And he gets all scared. So this is his moment of like, do I or don't I, I guess?

Yes. She just had to have him. Why does she like him? Sorry. I don't like him. What did he do? I also feel the same way. I don't understand why she liked him at all Yeah, I mean speaking as a heterosexual woman, you know, I think I'm pretty good at deciphering like who's attractive and who's not and he's not attractive

No, like I didn't get it either. It was very it was like that move hasn't watched you people on Netflix and like trying to believe like Lauren London would be attracted to Jonah Hill Like three gonna second like Yeah, kind of like his real girlfriend or X So now we cut to Bri and Ansel on their lunch. And speaking of how attractive she finds him, this is the worst acting that this actress who plays Bredus. She says, I think you're rather sexy yourself, but she says it like she's doing it at gunpoint. Oh, it's right. She's like, I find you attractive. I had to like T. I know he doesn't remember this.

Like I took and T is hilarious But like I was taking notes of what he was saying while we were watching it and at one point He was like this would be worth watching if it were porn Yeah, okay, I was rooting for Lauren and Misty to get into a porn couple scenario I thought the like all the people in the movie, those two getting together would have made sense to me. They're the both suited personality. Yeah. They're like best friends. They like playing chess together. They support each other. Yeah. She's like, yeah, that's not how that works. I'm let you do it anyway, because I love you, babe. Right. There you go. So now we get a quick basketball montage. An asshole is going to talk to his basketball and will they learn also co-worker friends about

his situation with Lauren. I put them down as perfectly diverse basketball buddies. Yeah, they're like a brochure for basketball college. Yes, exactly. Now, I will point out that during the basketball montage, the two white friends, they don't actually do any of the basketball. They don't. No, they're just on the bleachers later.

Yeah. Okay. My favorite part though is they do a basketball montage that started outside at a park. And then it ends up in a gym, but it's the same people, which is insane. All they had to do is show them inside the gym only because that's the same people, which is insane. All they had to do is show them inside the gym only because that's where the scene happens. They're just establishing it. The scene starts with them being like, hey, there's a weird day of basketball for us, outdoors, indoors. Anyway, let's talk now. Yeah, about our relationships, I think what happened is they were, you know,

they're in California, they're in LA, right? Maybe he was trying to play with that Celtic jersey on and they were driven and send doors. Thank you. By the rightfully outraged Laker fans. This is right. This is Los Angeles. And it's always he is a Celtic jersey and a sixer's jersey. No Lakers. There's a fuck off. Absolutely not. And I don't want to be too broad and teak and batting up here. Like it doesn't take much to get beaten up for wearing the wrong thing. Like, just generally, I don't know. So they talk a bit about Lauren's no sex rule and that he's, he's being tempted by Bree and they talk about Bree. And one of the guys,

and I want you to really be my guide here because these aren't terms I'm familiar with. Maybe they're valid. Maybe they're not. Does one often talk about women in terms of their pletuca and bladuca? I've never heard that before this movie. Never heard that. I feel like that is fake slain that Darryl taught Michael. Exactly. Like, what that is. Like, I don't, I wouldn't use that unless like, yeah, no, don't do it. It does not seem like a good idea.

That ain't clear. And there's just one other moment in this scene that I have to point out, which is that the white actor, they gave him one line where he says, like, that's not the thing to do, brother. And they very clearly wanted him to say brother in a slang way. And this white actor was like not doing it. So he says it like Hulk Hogan. He's like, I'll tell you what, brother, you're going to want to not cheat on your lady friend. I'm out of the movie. Don't beat me up. Goodbye. So post locker room talk, it's time for Ansel.

And I call him Platoonka for the rest of the movie. I don't know what his actual name is, but it's time for Ansel and Platoonka to have a heart to heart. I think it's Spencer. Yeah. That sounds right. Is that knockoff Jason? Uh, knockoff Jason Mistral.

Oh, is that knockoff Jason, uh, knockoff Jason, oh, yes. But yeah, either way, he suggests not cheating on his fiance and that seems to be the plan going forward. Can I say in real life, like with real men like this, they would have just been having a conversation about where you can hide condoms. Yeah. Like I used to work in a barber shop shop like that's pretty much what the conversations are like.

Oh, the conversation earlier was terrible. They were just like, oh, so you're not going to have sex with Bree because you're getting married. You need to set me up with Bree. And then another one's like, no, set me up with Bree, like as if she was a stock tip in the end instead of a human being. Yeah, pastor in the spay. They do that for a while, but I did enjoy that Spencer's advice was just like,

here's the plan, don't cheat. And the other guy, okay. So I just won't then and then that's solved, okay. It's like just saying no. Exactly, real simple. Yeah, works great. Well, now that we've met the Yoda character, I think we all get a quick break

and then we'll be back for act two of he who finds a wife. Knock knock handsome. Well, hello there, babe. To what do I owe the pleasure? I think you know exactly what you owe the pleasure to Mr. We discussed that this morning. You owe the pleasure to Mr. We discussed that this morning. Ha ha sure did right right? Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

La la la la la. Hi. Oh right. Uh Denise, this is my cubicle mate Kyle. Kyle. Denise my sweet sweet sugar. Mmm well if I'm so sweet, why not have another taste? Don't mind if I do.

And you guys want to maybe take it to lunch or something? No, we're good. We're good. Yeah, besides someone already ate this morning. I sure did. Right, got it. Um, kind of lingus is just that I'm trying to work here. Hey, Kyle, do you have the oh, um, hello? Hi, I'm Denise. Stephanie, sorry, who are you, Denise? Oh, I'm Kevin's fiance. Congratulations. Why are your ankles around his neck? You know how it is. Yeah, we do.

No, we do not. Anyway, Cal, do you have the Vincent Report? Milcomes. Wilcomes. Uh, yeah. Just, you know, I'll email it to you. Wilcomes. Wilcomes.

I hope you cheat on each other and break up. Yeah, me too. Definitely what's gonna happen. I mean, tell me that doesn't taste just like taco meat. This is a carrot. A carrot with spices, Kat. A carrot with spices. Pay all what you're doing.

Eli was just showing us his vegan tacos. Yeah, how do you deal with it? Yeah, good question. I have Hello Fresh. What? Hello Fresh. With Hello Fresh, you get farm fresh, pre-portioned ingredients, and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Skip trips to the grocery store and count on Hello Fresh to make home cooking fun, easy, and affordable. That's why it's America's number one meal kit. A meal kit? Don't you always get kind of

samey? Not at all with Hello Fresh. Hello Fresh keeps your taste buds on their toes with 40 chef-crafted recipes to select from every week. From family friendly to fit and wholesome, you'll always find new and exciting recipes to try and love. I don't know, Heath. I don't know why it's time to cook. Well, with Hello Fresh, all you need is 15 minutes and you'll be enjoying a tasty, satisfying meal made in your own kitchen. Just look for their quick and easy dinner options,

plus quick breakfasts and lunches, too. It's true. Hello Fresh sent us a box to try when they became a sponsor, and I love their quick and easy dinner options for when Anna and I don't have the time to do all the prep for a regular meal. That's why I, Eli Bosnick, personally endorse HelloFresh. That's not saying much, Mr. Carrot. Carrot Tacos, Cat Carrot Tacos.

All right. All right, Ethan. We're so, we're to offline up. Just go to HelloFresh.com slash 50 Awful and use the code 50 Awful for 50% off plus free shipping. So we go to HelloFresh.com slash 50 Aw-0 awful and use code 5-0-offel for 50% off plus free shipping. That's exactly right. All right, thanks Keith.

So long carrot tacos. I mean, you didn't even get to try them with the cheese. Eli, that's a shredded carrot. Shredded carrot cheese, tea. Tredded carrot cheese tea, shredded carrot cheese. And we're back. And we're going to fire up act two with about, I'm going to say 45 minutes of Ansel driving through Los Angeles in real life to like get to the movie and then eventually do the movie. I don't know why they felt they need to make it so long. Yeah, they were definitely reaching for that,

because this movie is like 101 minutes, they were definitely reaching for that like $45 from 2B, as opposed to 20, you get if it's only 90, yeah. But this is where we're gonna meet my second favorite character of the movie. I'm talking of course about Ansel's Winnie the Pooh D drunk dad. Okay. Wait, Winnie the Pooh, he had pants. No, he's dressed like we have pants. If you look at him, he's got the gray hat with the little ears. He's got

a gray sweater on. He's like a he's like a dark universe Winnie the Pooh. He definitely has the back here. Yeah, interesting. I did not I did not catch the Winnie the Pooh vibes from this guy at all. I mean, he liked liquor the way Winnie the Pooh likes honey. Exactly. There's a lot going on there. All right. Thank you. I'm going to yesand that.

Thank you, Kat. Need little support, little support. Appreciate it. But yeah, Ansel comes into the house, which is apparently where his dad lives, and he is asleep and or passed out in the bathtub. I found Ansel weirdly judgy in this moment because he comes in and like, yes, okay, dad is hanging out in the bathtub, not great, not great. But he's like, hey, why are there transients in your living room?

And I was like, okay, you don't know about the timing for those people. You don't know if they're trans, or they just live there, or they're popping in regular, just for the evening. You have no idea. Can we talk about a couple of things that dad says here from inside the bathtub?

Please. So first of all, I think he says something along the lines of the source of my sanity. Like the only thing keeping me sane is that your mom Mertle is dead. What a weird thing to say to your son. What if I don't even know what they thought they meant by that? Well, it's actually not even his mom.

It was just like the woman who raised him because when he gets offended at that, he's like, ah, she wasn't even your mom. It just sends it. That's right. Okay. All right, well, ah, she wasn't even your mom. It just ends it. That's right. Okay. All right. Well, I'm going to move right past that one. Okay. Then, then dad says, Hey, did I tell you about my trip to Africa? And I was like, all right, man, name a country probably, right? Like, or you went to probably one or more countries in that giant continent. He

went to the whole thing. He went to the whole of Africa. And he tells the story that he fucked a bunch there. And everybody's Polly in Africa didn't know that, didn't know that. But he enjoyed the Polly Amory of Africa. Yeah. They didn't mind sharing. Yes. I think is what he the quote is. Yeah, right. They didn't mind sharing. That's the first thing I think of when I think of that portion of the earth. Yeah. But I think the message the film is trying to say is only crazy drunks like polyamory. Okay. I mean, she's got you there. Don't do that. I see what's happening. I see what was happening there. I don't like it. I will say that this

movie threw out. I think it's accidentally making great points that polyamory is great and probably traditional marriage is stupid. Monogamy, definitely not a great idea because it ruins things for a lot of people. Definitely don't be Christian because that's going to fuck everything up. Like they accidentally just give you a great, great path for relationships that is the opposite of what they're trying to say. Yeah, the DVD of this actually comes with a copy of the ethical slut. I don't know if you knew that.

That's smart. Yeah. That's smart. And speaking of ethical sluts, the next thing you answer is at work, doing his best to avoid breed. I'm not sure if this was supposed to be comedy, this montage, but it definitely made me laugh.

I think they were trying to be like sexy like in boomerang, like when I think that's what they were going for because I mean, I was skipping ahead a little bit like when they do the sex scene, like I am very familiar with that sex scene. And I was like, I feel like they're kind of like, it's a bit of an homage. So yeah, you think the sex scene was an homage to boomerang like Eddie Murphy? Yeah, when he has a sex scene with Robin Givens for the first time. Interesting. I don't know. I'm just throwing that out there. Kat, I got to tell you, I did not want to contradict you. The only boomerang I am familiar with is the TV channel that shows old Hannah Barbarra cartoons.

So I was like, I was like, just the yoke bear fuck. Just see if you like yoke bear. I probably should little bear. I'll be in an ask a question right now. I don't want to know. That was a different website. So yeah, Montageurnault, late that night the phone rings, and it's Misty, the hero of the film. And she's letting us know that Jeffrey hit Misty. Not just Lorenzo. Oh, Lorenzo,

that's right. Lorenzo. Oh, dare you say that about Jeffrey. He got it. Yeah, Jeffrey's the one taking the hits, not giving them out. Lorenzo hit Misty. I just wrote my notes. I will avenge you Misty. How dare he should? And then Ansel comes home, right? And Lauren is like, can you believe that Lorenzo hit Misty? And his answer is, and I quote, I would never hit a woman, especially not one as sweet as you. That feels like maybe you would hit a woman. Yup. She's being a ball mouthy and being a bitch about it. Yeah. Like you got me like Sean Connery, you got a smack around a little

exactly. Yeah. Actually, names like several positive qualities that she has that preclude him from being violent with her. And she's like, thank you for saying that. Hold on. It felt a little bit like a list of conditions, but you know, you know, he did open with I'll never hit a woman. And now it's time for the pastor's sermon.

The sermon that lands like a wet fart in the middle of this movie. And it was really interesting to watch this because the pastor very much has the rhythms of a charismatic pastor who's like going to really get you psyched up with his amazing, but he just he doesn't have the content. So he's like, when a man has a wife, they're going to go and he like he going to go to each other. He's going. And then they also good.

Good. And then amen. A wife will rescue you from all of spider man's villains. And you're like, I don't think this guy planted super well. No. To be clear, it's, it's something in the Bible, right? It's the title of the movie is in the Bible. Yes, it's Proverbs.

Okay, it's in Proverbs. He who finds a wife. Proverbs 1822. It's something good. And so the speech is like, when you find a wife, it's like buying something at the store, but a good thing at the store. Like that's the point of this sermon. And then they show us the people in the church. And there's women in the in the pewes being like, I do aspire to be a desirable retail item. Amen. It's so weird. It was very reminiscent of the Barbie movie where it's like, yes, I like being a helpful decoration. Exactly. Yeah. This is the ticket.

Like a spa for my brain. Honestly, if he had started to sing, I want to push you around, it still would have been better than the sermon. I live in down for it. To be fair, I feel like the Barbie movie was definitely more leaning towards, we were talking about this other day, Kat, the E-masculation and re-masculation of men. That's what I took for my kid was fabulous. I like that. It's a treat us on modern feminism, for sure. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I. I love that. It's a treat us on modern feminism for sure. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I grads. I mean, by day, by night, I am a homo thug. There you go. There's my superhero name. That's magnificent. The magnificent. Exactly. So now we're going to have a completely useless scene between Lauren and Jeff. Remember Jeff, the ex with the giant bruise on his head, it's still there and they're going to have the exact same conversation they had in her car, but in her office. Yeah, because he's just there. Yeah, he just shows up.

Offices need to stop letting people just show up. It keeps happening, right? No, I will admit, I was a little distracted in this scene, and I wanna know if anyone noticed it, but me. Lauren appears to have a painting of a ghost carrying a dead Native American stereotype on her wall, and so whatever was happening in the scene, I was very confused by that image. I think that was Jesus, wasn't it?

Yes, I think it was Jesus carrying somebody like through the, like the Red Sea, like maybe it was Moses part of the Red Sea, and he's carrying somebody. I thought it was Jesus carrying somebody like through the, like the Red Sea, like maybe it was Moses part of the Red Sea and he's carrying somebody. I thought it was just a black guy. I don't think it was just a black eye. Oh, listen, I can't remember because I've, I knew who was gonna be on this episode.

I was very careful. I'm making sure about one story of time so I was seeing and or not seeing. I want him to look it back up. I'm pretty sure he was. I deleted a bunch of heaps of notes. All of a sudden, he was like, I didn't see the race of the person.

I didn't even know. I don't even know. I can't, it's impossible for me. I don't even know. You know what it's the internet delay. What did you guys hear? I actually didn't say it. That was, I don't know if you guys know,

T is the one who pointed that out. He's, but his internet. I felt like it was definitely someone really say by-pop Mm-hmm. Definitely. Okay. Boom. Nail. And so my wife's by-pop.

Of course. I my wife is five pop. Oh, don't try to fix it now. So my best friends are you. You guys are gonna. Oh my God, this movie, right? Yes. The movie anyway.

We need you to do that a lot on other episodes too. Yep. Oh my God, this movie. Where's Noah? It's the questions we've been asking to. All right. So now we get a smooth R&B transition over to Ansel's office where his, oh, wait, no, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry to interrupt, but like the knee, the knee grab like he grabs her. Yes, gross. Does grab her knee. We are, I put that under, I put an explanation next to that one because in then yells why not? Yes. It's getting weird.

And he's saying he said he grabs her knee and he says, I want you back. And she very clearly she's like, no. No. And he says, why not? Like he wants like an exit interview from three years ago. Right. She starts answering with answers. And I was like, you don't need to answer it.

You press the security button now. And that is the answer. And he is escorted from the building. I feel like my quote was no Drake as ninja. That was like the vibes. And she says, you need to leave. And he looks at her and goes, you know my number. And I was like, really not getting it. Really not picking up. Yeah. She's laying down, man. She says you need to leave. And there's a long pause where like they just stared each other and he stares back and she's like, oh, we're doing this. And then finally, she's like, I'm doing a reverse chair spin.

Like you know the evil chair spin when you enter a room? I'm doing the opposite. You need to leave. How do you find the leaves? It was a romantic tension. Like, yes, that's what it is. doing the opposite, you need to leave. He finally leaves. It was a romantic tension. Yes, that's what it is. Okay, the chemistry, you know, the tension it's built. It is built.

It's a lot of chair spins. That's what I always call assault sexual tension. Sexual tension. Love how those are similar in the sighting. So more the more tension like that. Exactly. What's more tense than a horror movie. Now we're going to cut to that night.

And Lauren is setting out tense than a horror movie. Now we're going to cut to that night. And Lauren is setting out candles for a romantic evening. Oh, not sex, not sex. Yes. This pissed me off. Okay. Thank you. Okay. Because here's the thing. I get it. You're not entitled to sex. But I feel like if someone lights candles and you come home expecting sex, they can't then be like, I don't know why you expected sex. I would like to distance myself from I think what Eli just said. No, you know what I'm saying? To be clear.

Like, you're not supposed to be judging about no sex, but no, I do, I do have judgments about exactly how that, why that's happening here. Do like, I don't want to have sex today. Yes, you get to not want to have sex today. This is one of the things you are whenever you want any day. But if your reason is we're time outing sex because of the pastor told me to not great, not great. I 100% back that no one is entitled to sex, but I also feel like, I mean, come on, you're doing all of these things that traditionally lead up to sex. We at least have to have a conversation.

Right. That just we're not doing it. It doesn't work. I'm going to pipe in as the only woman here and a former member of a celibacy group called a promise to keep. Amazing. And pretty much. You did a promise to keep. Amazing. And pretty much.

You did a promise to keep? Yeah, how we never talked about this. You are a fucking loser. Well, that's my original point. And you actually did it and you didn't have sex, didn't you? Because everybody I knew they were the only virgin in the group. Yeah.

Everybody I knew only did it for their college applications. Yeah. They were actually having you get paid for it too. You get money. You get money? Yeah, you get it. Do not fuck. He.

Okay. So you should be the president. Let's back it up, guys. Let's back it up. DNC both went to the same Catholic high school at different times. I'm older. Okay. And so there was a group called,

it was a celibacy group called a promise to keep. And it was a purity thing where you go, our job was to go to different middle schools and elementary schools and teach them about saving it for Jesus. Wow. But of course, no one was doing it except me. Let's T pointed out I'm a loser.

So yeah, I don't want to get into that because that's its own thing. But I feel it ties into this because the purity thing of like doing it before marriage makes you a whore. Obviously, yes. And also masturbation, because I feel like in somebody's notes

it was kind of like, well, can these people jack off? That was my question throughout the whole film. Okay, no, no, jacking off is pretty much gay because you're you have your hand on a man's dick. So you can. I mean, that's never been a problem for me on the other end of this. What if I'm doing that? I'm not attracted to myself. Then it's fine, right? It's still gay. It's just a hate fuck. What if I fight myself as hard as I can? What if my wife is having gay thoughts? You're just describing hotter and hotter sex. Thank you.

Thank you. So that's all that's happening there. So yeah, no, you can't have, you can't masturbate. I think I put in my notes very similar to Mormons masturbation makes God sad face. Oh, yeah. Anyways, she welcomes him home to a candlelit night of cuddles. Mm-hmm. And so now we cut over to Brian Ansel working on the campaign for the job thing.

It's the same tension filled small talk. But just as their business, business, Lauren calls to tell Ansel that she's going to visit her mom for a few days. And also she filled her bedroom drawer with condoms and lubes. Those candles are still there. She might as well leave a trail of cookie crisp up to breeze vagina at this point in the film, which means it's time for this sex scene. And yes, we get a sex scene in this movie.

You guys are welcome. Yes, thank you. This was a beautifully chosen movie for this reason. Cat is the one who picked out this film. I love that because this is a Christian movie, like she takes off her, breath takes off her dress. And she's basically wearing a one piece bathing suit. Right, it is actually like a negligee of some kind, but this is a Christian movie.

There was no way they were going to show stomach. So she just takes off her dress and she's wearing almost exactly the same amount of clothing as her dress. The naval is especially sinful. Yes, exactly. Is it? They know. Okay. Also, one other thing I? They know, okay. Yeah.

Also, one other thing I have to point out about this sexy, because it was just too funny to me. The people who made this movie don't realize that sex scenes in movies are edited. So one of the things that we get to watch the entirety of is her struggling with her high-heeled shoes, right? She's trying to do the kiss and delicately remove my shit. I can't just kind of buckle. She's like, stop pressing me kiss and delicately remove my shit. I can't just

got a bottle. She's like, stop pressing me for a second. Right, right. Now there you go. Those shoes weren't made for walking anyways. Leave them on. Ex, thank you. Excellent point. Excellent point. Kat, you're making great points here. You're the permanent replacement for Noah. He can stay up and for Noah. Noah never met back to me up about shoes during sex. So now we join them post coitus. And now that Ansel has come, he's mad that he has had sex with bringing it so stupid. She says to him, you don't regret it. Do you? And I'm like, his dick

is still sticky. It is way too soon for him to be regretting this. But he says no, right? But he, like, his, all of his body language is like, no, he totally regrets this, but he just needed to, you know, he just needed to meet that Nettle meter quarter. Yeah. Well, so don't bring up the Nettle meter again, not again. I gave that to you guys as a gift. That was useful.

Like, he's, yeah, he's definitely looking mad about what's just how he looks like the before guy from a Viagra commercial for a second when they caught the post sex. And I was like, this is so sad. Like marriage turns sex with this beautiful woman into a sad thing for everybody. And he's all in a snit now. Not sad enough to kick her out though. Well, good point. Yeah.

She's like, are you visibly regretting that amazing thing we just did? And he's like, yeah, no, we're doing round two either way, which right at that point, I think that's just good math. Like, yes, it's you're already, the negative already happened. So I wrote my notes in for a penny, for a pounding if you know what I'm saying? I mean. So they fuck again. And then we get this absolutely insane scene. It's supposed to be the guilty scene. Lauren calls and she's checking on him and he's guilty. But Bri is doing

the most hilariously loud things in the background. She's just fucking making juice with the juicer hand grinding coffee, milking a cow she brought in from outside. She's doing a morning show. She's got a soundboard. Boy, she's giving them like, what? I was like, what? You know what you're doing. Yeah, she was way too comfortable. She was way too comfortable. Like, she was not playing around with all of that. I know. She's making the, is that my daughter in there knowing?

That's it. Yeah, exactly. Look, you don't get, you don't get to have sex outside of your marriage and then demand silence from your mistress, right? I guess Ansel does. Right. No. Again, the question is, what do they see in this guy? I don't get it.

Like he, it's not even, is it even established that he's like super successful to show? Because I feel like he's just like mid level manager. Yeah, he's like middle manager. It's established that he's not. Yeah, he's assistant to the director of Central Affairs. Exactly. And I'm pretty sure his of Central Affairs. Yeah, exactly. And I'm pretty sure his car was basic. Yes, absolutely. He's trying to solve the mystery of how Antsong has two people fucking in this film. Does not make sense.

No. All right. Well, two adults had some delightful consensual sex together. So that's going to be a big problem. We're going to need a quick break. But first, let me give the act three, the hard sell. Will Ansel and Lauren become better people? Will the movie

remember what happened to Misty and address it in any way whatsoever? Will marriage be the right move for any person in the entire movie? Find out that no to all of that. When we return for the Conclusory Conclusion of He Who Finds A Wife. Guys, thanks for meeting me. But we're all men. Yeah, whatever you need. So Lauren has this thing where we're not having sex till the wedding, you know, cause of religion.

Oh, wow. That's really messed up. Yeah, that seems like a really unhealthy boundary to draw. Yeah, tell me about it. So I get to cheat on her, right? Sorry, what? Well, there's this girl, Bree at work, and I feel like it could probably have sex with her, but I wanted to make sure that it was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop filling in cheating on her. Just talk to your fiance. Yeah, have a conversation. Oh, okay, I got it. So we talk about how unhealthy it is

to set unhealthy and arbitrary limits on our sex life. Right, exactly. And then I cheat on her as punishment. There it is. Okay, I'm done. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hi podcast listener, I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heathend Wright.

And we're Cat and T from the Bible breakdown podcast. You know, we can ask quite a bit how we make podcasting partnerships work. What about you guys? Oh yeah, communication is important. And honesty. And of course, so is midnight boxing. Sorry, midnight boxing? Yeah, yeah.

Once a month our company meets up at Midnight and we just go at it. You know, it really blows off the seam. You box each other. I mean, not with like rules, but yeah. It's mostly just punching. You know, like keeps going. Right.

So have you guys considered therapy? Psh, therapy. Now you're talking crazy. Come on. I'm not whether you're dealing with decisions around your career, relationships, or anything else, therapy helps you to stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life. So you can move forward with confidence and excitement. Okay, that does sound a little better than midnight boxing, but I don't know where to find

a therapist cat. That seems like a whole thing. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire

to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists any time for no additional charge. All right, you know what? I'm in. Where do we sign up? Let therapy be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash awful today to get 10% off your first month. That's helphelp.com slash awful.

Nice, all right. Goodbye, midnight boxing. Yeah, I'm going to go take these phone books out of my shirt Homebooks for padding. Oh for padding right Yeah And we're back and once again, we're going to start the new act with a Very long establishing shot and establishing montage, I would say of Los Angeles Where the movie is like, you could just start a scene.

We'll piece it together. If the people came to the scene somehow, but no, they show us this whole thing. And then eventually we're at Ansel's cubicle and Lauren shows up to surprise him after her weekend away. Right. For her usual dose of lap sitting in open mouth kisses, but he is riddled with guilt. So he doesn't want a smoocher in the middle of this open office plan. That's weird too.

I always feel like people, like a lot of times are in a better mood when they're getting the sex they want. Like, it's weird that you're like, you know, worst mood after having like what look like busted several nuts over the weekend. Like you can see you really relaxed. At least two that we saw. I feel like it was way more. I feel like it was more than two.

But he's not getting sex from the woman he wants. Ooh, that's beautiful. I have sex with, so he's still pissed. Say that, no, it's never enough. And Lauren is immediately suspicious. Like she read the script for the movie and knows he boned that lady in her bathing suit. Like that's how instantly she is sure that he's been cheating on her. He's right.

I mean, she is right. Don't be fair to her. She is correct. So later that day, Ansel comes home to Lauren who's unloading the laundry. He doesn't see Lauren when he walks in, like calls for her, but she's giving the silent treatment. And he doesn't see Lauren. So she just sort of stands huffly behind him like the Baba Duck. It's very disconcerting. It has real horror of the vibes this moment. Actually, I have a critique with this moment because, okay, so the light is on behind him.

I don't know. Maybe this is just like, I'm a black guy. So maybe this is just like trauma of living in America. But like, you know, you always play your corners. Maybe you walk into a room, you're looking around. And like the light is clearly on. He's calling her. So I don't have no idea how he did not look that way. But yeah, you do that little like head duck thing, like a police procedure where you just pop your head and pop it out real quick. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm so thrilled. A smoke bomb into every room before you get in there. Okay. like head duck thing, like a police procedure where you just pop your head and pop it out real quick. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Roll a smoke bomb into every room before you get in there.

Okay. One other thing about the moment when he walks in. So that's crazy. Yes, that he doesn't see her because that's ridiculous. She's right there. And then he goes into the kitchen and, you know, it's like the end of the day at work. So he's going to kick back with a nice three ounce pour of orange juice into a footed mug for a cappuccino, which is so weird for so many reasons. What was happening?

I guarantee you this was like their third tank. And they were like, Hey, Ansel, you're wasting the orange juice, okay? You need to be way less liberal with the orange juice. You pour yourself. And this is the take they went with. Oh, you think they like took away his pint glass and they're like, you get a footed mug. Yeah, he definitely over poured in the first two takes. I feel like this actor, I don't know where he's from. Usually you can tell where people are from because he's not giving L.A. vibes. Like black guys from L.A. have a certain way about them. Oh, he's a transplant for sure.

Yeah. Like for one, he doesn't wear undershirts. That's weird. Like you, whenever you see him and he has a dress shirt on, he's never wearing an undershirt. Like, black guys don't really do that. And then like he doesn't have a mustache. Like, he has no facial hair. Oh, you think he's from overseas?

Yeah, like, I don't, because I can't place this dude. Oh, so he's like, he's like Christian Idris Elba. Let's just say right now, if this part had been played by Idris Elba, the entire film would have made sense. It made so much sense now. Yeah, of course. Well then you just get obsessed. Exactly. Yeah, but that one had lighting. It was so bizarre. Like, yeah, he's, he's just in a niggum. None of his choices makes sense. So yeah, sure, he's taking a cap, a tuna cup, put an orange juice in it. Why not? Sure. Maybe that's how they do it wherever he's from. Exactly. Wherever that is. This is also where Lauren asks him, why did he

change the sheets? And he says, I spilled some ice cream. I wrote in my notes, ooh, Bri, you're going to want to get that checked out. Monastat one girl. Monastat one. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hopefully it was just on her back. Also. I said most of the ice cream was on her back, but a little early kids on the sheet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Things are my great. So yeah, she's suspicious. Later that night, they're cuddling watching TV when the world's loudest cell phone goes

on. But it's free. And this is the worst hiding in a fair ever. He's like, Oh, what's that? Give me one second. Then he goes and hides in the corner and starts whispering into his phone. Who besides the kidnappers and a woman he was having in a fair wind? Could he possibly have been talking to in that tone of voice? Spencer. Yeah. Well, that's the

line makes up. Yeah. Yeah. He's like a Tukikas. It's always, it's always Spencer. Sometimes I have to whisper lovingly to Spencer, but assure him that I still care about him and want to see him again soon. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, those are Spencer's condoms. Sorry, that's how most people, like that's how I found a lot of partners cheating. It's like, why are there all these condoms here? Yep. Like, we're, yeah.

And it's like, oh, those are Tony's condoms. It's like, okay. So how long have you and Tony been sucking? Your friend brought over a bunch of condoms. He should do that as a bonding activity. Just like share condoms. Sure. Now, he just let he left him.

He left him in the car or wherever we had. And you know, I just mean to give him back to him. We all know when you're riding with your bro and you take out your condoms to show him your favorite ones. Well, let's be real. I don't think our protagonist is using condoms on either of his pieces. No, he doesn't seem like on either of his pieces. No. He doesn't seem like that kind of guy either.

He's not even responsibility. That's murder, technically. It is. This is a man who puts underwear over a sticky penis. And we all know that there's not even a courtesy washcloth in this pan bedroom. And the sink was right there. You guys are downstairs. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. You got the fridge with the water dispenser. If you need to, you can just do it like that. guys are downstairs. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You got the fridge with the water dispenser. If you need to, you can just do it like that. Spray down. Yeah. So he storms out of the house in a huff. She also storms out of the house. It feels like one of them would stay, but they apparently they both storm out of the house in a huff.

Now we're going to get the scene that I find incredibly confusing, OK? Which is while he goes and breaks up with Bri, which he does to be fair, now Lauren will go meet up with Jeff, the guy who chased her out of the carpet store, and then came to her office and grabbed her, she meets up with Jeff in an abandoned car,

and kisses him. Yeah, they make out. Okay, so she's definitely not a wife material. Like, if he fits all of it, she doesn't even have, she doesn't even have a confirmation that he actually cheated yet. And she just ran like, what if he really did have an emergency? Or was just grumpy?

Maybe he just didn't feel like getting to third base at the office that day. Or maybe he's irritated that you keep like not having sex with him. And he's like, it's easier for me to not have sex with you if you're not like lounging around like in, you know, Cutting with him on the couch lounge wear. Yeah, I'm rooting for nobody in the movie except Misty at this point. Nobody except for Misty who happy to say spoiler alert turns out just great.

Yeah. But like, seriously, because what I find so interesting about this is this entire movie is about Ansel's infidelity. And this movie does not even acknowledge Lauren's infidelity for the rest of the film. I thought maybe Lauren the actress just kissed Jeff the actor for giving him that giant bruising his head and they kept the footage because they forgot to turn the camera off. It was crazy. But yeah, apparently that was like a good buy make out session. Like she wanted to make out with Jeff so that Jeff who again has spent the entire movie telling her to get back with him can now be like, you know, you really shouldn't jump to conclusions. Just be honest and communicate. And she's like, you know, Jeff, now that I've tasted your tongue,

that's a really great idea. I'm an head back and really trying to communicate with my fiance. Well, also, doesn't Jeff admit at this part that he broke up with his wife? Yeah, two. Yeah, she asked. Isn't that at this part? So, Yeah, she asked. Isn't that at this part? So, so he loses his wife chasing random Lauren because that's he says like, yes, she left me after that incident or something. And I'm just like this guy.

Maybe, maybe he took that as a moment where he needed to get his shit together. Maybe. Okay. That would be great. So the next day at church, their Ansel and Warren are actively giving each other the silent treatment. When the pastor comes in and is like, so how are you guys doing? Awesome.

I feel like if someone's notes at some point, like the beginning was like, this is no one, no one in this movie should be getting married. Everyone should also be getting divorced. Like, divorce is great. Yes. And I put in my notes, I've been divorced twice. I love giving up. It's the best decisions you ever made, right?

Like both times you were like, oh, this is fucking great. So smart, right? Yes, the old lawyer joke like why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. Worth it? Yeah. Well, or just don't get married in the first fucking place. I mean, that's exactly the rules.

That is even cheaper. Look at that. See, Heath, we've turned T into polyamorous. You've turned cat pro. Oh, there we go. Perfect. There we go. Perfect. The universe is pro. All these is logic. We're just talking logic now. No, let's just do Eli's thing where heath is our white savior. Exactly. Just do Eli's thing where he is our white savior. Exactly. If you want to say you're welcome to our new best friends, it's a trap.

Don't do. Why would you pause like you were going to do it? You're the one who should have been on the wall in Lawrence office. Yes. Yes. Me and Rudyard Kippling love it. We let you back this movie. Okay. Thank you.

So they they they managed to not fight for I'm going to say 10 seconds and then they burst into a big screamy yelling at each other fight. And then of course, there's the big dramatic moment of this scene where she says, who are you accountable to? And he's supposed to say a 2000 year old dead Palestinian rabbi, but he doesn't. So she walks out. Okay. He says myself.

Well, I feel like he could have saved himself. If he says myself, I feel like he could have saved his self, though, by just saying you to his wife or his fiance. But that would have been good. Okay. He's just, he's, you know, again, I don't know why they like this guy. Well, now she doesn't deal breaker. Exactly. And I just have to point this out. She storms out.

And then we cut to them awkwardly driving home together, which means there's a missed scene where she stormed out. And then she was like, well, fuck off. He's my ride. And this is LA. I'm just going to wait by getting a separate Uber. That's insane. Yeah, I'm not getting an Uber X just to get, make a point. No, you can drive me home while I give you the silent treatment. So we cut to Ansel at his dad's house. It's time to introduce some more plot because there are a full three and a half minutes left in this movie. This time they actually bothered to put some trash around this old lady's

house that cats that they borrowed. But he makes his way through. Dad is still dressed like we need the poo, but he's overdosed on two skittles in an M and M. Why? Why is it? No movie ever gets drinking right ever. So it's like the drunk person is they have a bottle that they're drinking out of like it's gatorade all way too fast. And they just like collect garbage and pile it everywhere. Take too many bills. So silly. That's not what despair looks like. No, yeah, get it right. It's a very different look. Higher a real alcoholic is what I'm saying. You know how like, see, I didn't hire somebody with actual losses in that part. And now it's probably the same thing here. They're not hard to find. Heath, do you want to give out your number and while you're pitching here to say separately?

Wait, you have to hire an alcoholic like a, what do they have like an on-set consultant? Yes, intermissive coordinator, a drink to missy coordinator. I don't know, I think it's historically difficult to find unhoused people in LA. Yeah, that's what they say. It's been very difficult.

Yeah, I've heard that. That place is in LA. Yeah, that's what they say. It's very difficult. Yeah, I heard that. That place is so clean. Yeah. So he talks to dad about the, he tries to wake his dad up. I thought dad was dead. He's not. He'll be fine later in the movie. But the point is, while Ansel is out of the house, this is when Lauren discovers the

incredibly large earring of breathe. So, and the idea that anybody did not see this up until this point. covers the incredibly large earring of breathe. And the idea that anybody did not see this up until this point is the funniest thing in the entire film. Lauren finds this piece of jewelry from Brie like she pressed the hint button on a video game. And if you like spinning hologram right over, it's already enormous and sticking out.

It also doesn't make sense where it was or maybe Maybe they got into such serious fucking that they lost this giant earring under the rug next to the fridge You've never done it under the carpet style. Oh, you got to try it under the carpet style He's missing out but even in that that doesn't make sense because when you're leaving You're checking like okay. I got this, I got this. Did she never notice in the, I don't know, what'd been like a week now since she's, they've been fucking like that she didn't have that matching earring. But it is insane that no one saw it before.

I imagine it was a pretty large earring. So when she put on the bottom letter, right? It's like a, a lobster was under that little rug. Yes. exactly. So she finds the earring. She leaves him a dear John letter and she walks out into the night. That's why a movie started. Yes.

Oh, right. Yeah. This is where the movie catches up to itself. Yeah. This is where the movie catches up to itself. And just one thing I have to point out, I paused this to make sure this was real, because we get two shots of the letter. They wrote a fake letter, and I don't mean they wrote a letter that like the actual person

didn't write. That would be crazy, because this is a fictional movie. It just says like Laura Mipsum on it, because they couldn't make up a letter. Not even Laura Mipsum. It's just scribbles that look like writing. Why not just write letters? It's not rewatch the movie. Go back anyway.

I mean, look, again, this movie is in 240 P. So maybe I just couldn't read it there. But if you there is a very clear shot of the letter at one point and I paused it and it's just scribbles meant to look like writing on the paper. No way. I got to be honest with you. I was in and out at this point of the movie. So I'm pretty sure I missed that, but I believe you. I was in and out at this point of the movie. So I'm pretty sure I missed

that, but I believe you. Sure. Okay. Did you catch when they cut right from this to what appears to be an soul having sex with his father? Okay. So here's the thing. No. Because that was insane. That was very jarring for me as a viewer. Here's what I think is supposed to be going on. Now that Lauren has left him, he's turned his life around. He's gonna clean up his dad's house and give his dad a shave and a haircut to bits. Yeah, it turned right.

It turns out he's giving his dad a haircut from behind. But the cut, the editing to make that happen, I was like, what is happening now? I just got the nose. Okay. Yeah, we just see dad and then we see Ansel behind dad, if you know what I happening now. Okay. Yeah, we just see dad and then we see Ansel behind dad. If you know what I'm thinking, I was about to say this isn't a, that's not a black thing.

Fucking your dad. Yeah. I would like to know all the things that are not a black thing. Okay. Included in that. Most of the things in this movie, I think the blackest thing was like the excessive amount of hair straightening. Sure. Okay. Yeah. No, that makes sense. But you guys don't it. I T you've never given your dad a touch up over the same. No, my dad just not going for that nor fucked him. No, no. Okay. Not because you're black anyway. No, no, okay, not because you're black anyway. That's the movie.

Okay, so now we're going to cut to six months later. He's playing basketball with his buddies again. They're talking about girls and he's he's penitent we can see because they're talking about something entirely different and apropos of nothing. He's like, I was almost married, but then I cheated. And then she cheated. And then she found an earring. So wait, what's the movie about that? They forgot for a second. But then one buddy is like, I met the lady

at the club the other night, like the one. Yeah, and his friends assure him that you don't meet the one at the club. Is the club, is the club a specific place? Where is it? He's a Christ. Is it a show? Even I know the answer to it.

I'll answer the question then. He's the only be hanging. Did they, did they went to a dance club? Any met a girl? Well, I would they call it the club then, because that's one word less than I said. No, I was just gonna say it's probably the one that they frequent a lot.

That's all. Oh, okay. Well, regardless of whether or not you should marry them, Ansel now turns around and proclaims, if you really like this girl, the Bible says, he who finds a wife finds a good thing because he's Christian now. Is that the lesson of the movie there? Like I think so because they're like, hey, that random woman you met at the club who you didn't even

name when you told us the story just now, marry her because that's the best thing that can ever happen. I cheated on my and I cheated and it went badly for me. Marry her now. That's what they're saying. That's the movies lesson. That was terrible. That's a terrible fucking. It's a very weird lesson.

But then as he's walking away, because we do need a happy ending, Lauren calls him and then he smiles and gives God a wink because she forgave him, we guess. Maybe, maybe we don't know that. Because it could be ambiguity. It could be, this is their version of the inception ending. You don't know what's going on. Or maybe she's gotten to a fight with

her new boyfriend and her habit. Oh, she just switches back. Oh, that is. That's it. That's great. Just like boomerang. Okay. Okay. So final answer. Moral the story. Don't get married because that's dumb for most people. I don't know. What do you think? What is the actual moral the story? I think the moral of this narrative is you need a man, but be careful because he might hit you. And I am a good thing, but only when a man finds me. Exactly. Nailed it. Nailed it in the one is quite certain is the world's story. That's correct.

Great. Nailed it. I did it. All right. Well, I think that's going to do it for a review of he who finds a wife, but that's not going to do it for the episode just yet because we found another terrible movie for next week. Eli, what's on deck?

What can one man do to fight the international decay of the greatest country the world has ever known? We'll be watching John Schneider's to die for Exactly With that to look forward to we're gonna bring episode 416 to a merciful close Huge thanks to Kat and T for joining us. And where can everyone hear more from you? So if you guys would like to hear more from us, join us at the Bible breakdown. We're on all the major streaming podcast streaming services. And I also do another podcast called Fake Aspa Club with my best friend. And we are basically going to be your black friends

who aren't super religious and make you feel weird. Okay. Fantastic. Got it. We have that recorded. Promise accepted. Of course, a big thanks to our Patreon Donuts for all the generosity. If you'd like to help support the show, you can make a for episode donation at patreon.com slash god awful. That'll get your early access to an ad free version of every episode. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, the scathing atheist, citation needed, skept-cratt and dnd- available in all the podcast places.

If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email godoff on moviesatgemail.com. Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnik, with evil giraffes on Mars. While other music was written and performed by our audio engineernik with evil drafts on Mars, while other music was written and performed by our audio engineer, Morton Clark, and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week. For Kat, T and Eli, I'm Heath, promise you to work hard to earn another chunk next week. Until then, we'll leave you with the Animal House clothes. Ansel and Lauren get married, but six months after that,

Ansel and Lauren get caught in a double catfish on a married people dating app. And have a good laugh! Oh, there you go! Home of a Grapper guy got roasted on Instagram by Lona's ex, and he's canceled now. Spencer, also known as Baduka, becomes a bottle of double for Jason Mitchell, after Jason Mitchell's career tanked. Hester Watts' name never did open that folder he held through the entire movie. That is correct.

No, you did a blowjob. Nice. That was definitely. She did a bad food noise. You made it weird. Everyone would rather have that than vegan. Everyone would rather drink. Come is better than vegan.

The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and Come is better than vegan tapos.