God Awful Movies - 42: GAM042 Saturday's Warrior

Episode Date: June 7, 2016

This week, David Michael of the My Book of Mormon podcast joins us to kick off Mormon Movie Month with an atheist review of Saturday's Warrior, which is essentially the musical version of the Mormon Duggars. --- If you'd like to hear more of David's milk-chocolatey voice, you can find his podcast here. If you want to see the outtake Eli refers onto the show, you can find it here. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

Un chapuzón, con el hábito, tu serie favorita y en medio de tu siesta. ¡Ey! ¿Has visto esta? No sabes la de planazos que hay este verano en Guésville Parque Sur. Con ciertas obsesiones con DJs, clases de yoga, talleres con marcas y actividades con niños, te apuntas. Un sueño de verano, bailo es sin parque sur. The fucking woman at the airports is I was paid to make this announcement. I also want you to remember the only person he's expecting to be there is his fat fuck friend, little bitch boy. He is not expecting anyone else, so he somehow prepares an advance, calls an airport, finds out who's going to be on staff at that gate and then pays for them to say here comes the most humble man ever Movie! Movie! Movie!

Welcome back to the Gamcast! Where each week we will lambast A bit of Christian cinema, it's as fun as an ice cold animal, We watch them sputterther venom all the time I'm your whole snow illusions But I'm not in seclusion to my less my buddy Heathen write all sexy bald and erudite So I ask you how are you tonight? I'm fine. I'm fine. Good good glad to know it glad Glad to know it. Little musical intro for a little musical episode of the game cast and of course sitting 989 miles to my right is my bad friend Eli Bosnick Eli. How you feeling tonight, sir? Amazing and of course it 9 and a half levels of pizza quality beneath

Eli is our special guest mascus host of the my book of Mormon podcast and man whose voice resonates at precisely the same frequency as the Clitoris David Michael David welcome to God off a movie sir well thank you Noah and thank you he's in the other one all right now but well before we go I've got to say I learned exactly one day after we invited you on the show. Very sad news that you were you were retiring from my book of Mormon. I'm afraid so. So yeah, we, we, you know, the whole point was to read the book of Mormon. I did that. And then they just they'd egg me on to read the Pearl of Great

Price, which somehow was even weirder. And then I got like halfway through the doctrines and covenants and I just couldn't do it anymore. So anyway, we are our good friend Bryce Blangenagle as it's picking up the sword. He's gonna continue and you know keep the show going without me. So that sounds like a made-up name, David. Did you just make up a name in the hopes that people wouldn't notice that you're giving up the show? It's kind of like I took my D&D dice and I rolled it and I was like what does that sound like? Blankgle? All right, it's got it. It sounds like something a racist southerner yells about Obama. Oh, he's a fucking blank a naggle, that's what he is.

That is in fact what they yell down here. So we've already kind of hinted around about it and I think our guest is a bit of a hint as well, but we might as well be official here, so tell us he's what will we be breaking down today? All right, we watched Saturday's Warrior, the original uncompromised 1989 version. And it's a musical about the Mormon struggle, to as best as I can tell, foil the evil atheist illuminati,

which appears to be a group of gay teenagers that's trying to control the population size with song, dance, and saturday. And they fight back. That's actually what this movie's about, guys. And Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you saw Fiddler on the roof and you thought to yourself,

I don't hate this religion enough with then you are gonna love Saturday's Warrior. It's Fiddler on the roof meets an anti-abortion clinic protester. That's basically what they heard someone inside playing a record of Fiddler on the roof. And they were like, I can do that and they wrote a musical. Plus, they got a really good deal on dry ice. Yeah, exactly. Apparently, apparently. wrote a musical plus they got a really good deal on dry ice yeah exactly apparently apparently and David what the fuck did we just watch

bro yeah so I know you're giving me shit for not telling you until day after that I was actually retiring from my show but you did not tell me what movie we were watching the day after I accepted so and first of all I think it's actually offensive to even call this a movie this is like a high school play where one of the parents was filming it with their came quarter out the audience that's that we watched yes yeah i'm gonna have to i don't know i can't i can't just like explain everything all at once we have to go through it but yeah there was uh... wow this one shocked even me and i and i thought i was prepared for everything

moreman i was not i've got it was not at all apparently not nor was i and i grew up moreman ish so now i should be specific for people who are familiar with my book of moreman the david is not a moreman never was a moreman he just decided on a whim basically to read the book of moreman and has become something of a uh a reluctant expert in the subject which is why we uh we asked him on today yeah i think that's right i'm i'm this is going to be a reluctant expert in the subject, which is why we asked him on today.

Yeah, I think that's right. This is going to be a little bit of the blind leading the blind here. So, yeah. Everything I know about Mormonism, I've learned over the last two years before that, I knew well, basically with South Park had to tell me that was about it. That's amazing. I learned about Mormonism. I learned over the last 20 days.

All did you binge listen to my show? That's very sweet, Eli. When you say binge listen, do you mean jerk off dude? That's the answer is yes. Yes. I should point out that Eli actually named the notes this week. Gam episode 42, Eli fucks David's milk chocolatey voice. Oh, you don't even know. You don't even know. There's a reason why we're doing this from separate rooms.

Nobody wants a mover of you called get off me. Seriously guys get them off me. Well Eli my video is on. I don't know why yours is on I feel like you're looking at me and it's not it's just not fair. Oh he is. He is. You ever see anyone frantically try to get a sunflower seed from between their thighs? That's what's going on. Just send a camera dammit. trying to get a sunflower seed from between their thighs. That's what's going on. I'll send it a camera, David. I love it. So look for an image. So now, is there anything that you guys would like to nominate this movie for being the best at being the worst at? How about attractive seductresses? The women in this movie who are supposed to pull our

protagonist away and seduce him are like strong threes at best. We've got like Oscar the Grouch in one scene and then every 80s ponytail formed into sentience and another. It's not great. I strong disagree. I was highly attracted to a bunch of these. I think you had to be at least partially alive in the 80s, but yeah, yeah. I'm not with, I'm not following you down that road. I don't mind pubic hair as long as it doesn't reach their face Now I was pre-jerkened at age 8 to women just like that is what I would vote I would vote that this movie is the most forgivable if you masturbate to it out of any movie that you guys have reviewed so far This one. Okay. There's their scenes strong disagree that nomination still goes to loving the bad man

Death Prince throat I Was gonna go with knowing what the words that they're saying means oh I second yeah, that's gonna come up a lot. I do believe anyone humble gonna come up a lot I do. Humble anyone? Humble? Harry, Carrie, we'll get there. We'll get there. Also a quick little bit of housekeeping. Well, we're still in the A segment.

We announced our first ever live record of God off a movie's on the show last week. And as of now, more than half the tickets have already sold. So if you were planning on picking up your tickets, like eventually might want to speed up the process as we will be sold out soon. That's Friday, August 12th, the New York, New York. And remember, if you're a $10 episode patron, you get in free, plus we've got a pre-show hangout for you. But you need to get in touch with us

sooner than later, email Eli, that's Eli Bosnick, at BOSNICK at gmail.com, or message the Gampe Facebook page and we'll set you up, but please let us know as soon as you can, so we know how many seats we need to reserve. And with that out of the way, obviously, we're all in danger of breaking into song at any moment here. So rather than subject you to that again, we're gonna take a quick break and when we come back, we'll break down all the patent-batch shittery

that is Saturday's Warrior. We're gonna be ordinary, but don't be a mess. Harry, suicide and bomb, murder, Holocaust, off-switch. It's not every day that we're lucky enough to have a voice like David's on the show, and we're gonna be damned if we're not gonna use it to its fullest potential. So with that in mind, we reached out to our audience and into our deepest desires to ask what folks would like to hear David say. Got a couple of selections here. Do you mind, David? Are we doing sexy voice on all these? Or just reading them? I don't think you have a

Non-sexy voice dare you to turn that off Impossible. Yeah, yeah, yeah read all right first up Chicago style pizza looks like someone used an old bread bowl to catch the Blood Stephen Baldwin shits out Yeah, it's like that one sounds appetizing when you say it yeah, hmm All right, this one I'm gonna enjoy. Would you fuck me? All right, fuck me. Yeah, how's it going?

My name is Coctamus Prime. Yes, it is, sir. Comequat. Not sure about that one. I like this next one, though. Podcast award winning scathing atheists. Oh, that sounds sexy. Especially what you said. You almost got him to just go right there. I mean that gorilla. Ah here we go.

That gorilla would still be alive if he was white. Oh God. Stand your head. That's fine. We got two more for you if you can make it. All right. You can make it. All right. Moist.

Harley Verina killed her daughter. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I The only reason that Eli wanted you on was for that last line right there It wasn't about that it was about me I have that it's gonna be my cell phone ring every time someone calls me I'm not gonna pick up. I'm just gonna let your milk chocolatey voice remind everybody that lady killed her daughter your milk chocolatey voice remind everybody that lady killed her daughter. And we're back for the breakdown and we're going to start with a Star Wars style scroll telling us that this was originally a college drama project as if to say, hey, don't expect much folks. Yeah, and that right off the bat, I was like, come on now.

You can only use Star Wars scrolling text if it's either a Star Wars movie or maybe a Star Wars parody, but like that's a bold move to make. Like that's, you just pull that one out of your ass. And a promise that they will not fulfill. It also then cut into what will be the first of about 875 scenes of clouds, and I wrote in my notes, if Jesus doesn't ride the luck dragon, I'm gonna be bummed, fuck this movie.

So if you forgot in there, it said the uh... that this film had kept an i'm sorry this play what do they call it a stage play this college drama stage play had uh... captivated millions of people and i have what's okay so your college play millions of people saw it so right out of the bad unlike this movies bullshit

and i'm pissed thanks a lot you haven't even made it through the your opening star wars words and i'm mad and and then they also right away let you know how how little they know about the dictionary because they say that this play has had an influence as profound as it is immeasurable that that's true of potato chips and ferret dung or any noun or verb that you say you might as well as said once in a generation of film like this comes along This is such a film Fucking ridiculous So yeah, they gave me a bunch of a non-endorcing statements and then we moved down from the stars onto a planet

It's either earth or colob. I don't know how to tell the difference. It is not clear We get a little boy in a blouse picking flowers would appears to be a girl We get a little boy in a blouse picking flowers would appears to be a girl We have a baby that's statistically an atheist now another screaming child There's a shot of kids at a playground where they all look just miserable like you don't know Black girl who they needed so they dressed her like little house on the prairie to balance out the racists and the people who wanted to see a black Mormon. Well you have to understand, I do know this about Mormon, so they believe that black people are actually cursed laymen. It's right, they're these cursed people, so to put them in the movie, they had to kind of tone it down a little for all the white people.

Like come on now, we put her in an omniscience fit, so it's okay, it's okay calm down. Well I love that in this opening we see an Asian kid, we see a Native American, we see a Hispanic kid, we see a black kid. It's all going to be white people in the fucking movie, it's almost like they got through it and they're like, you American, we see a Hispanic, we see a black kid. It's all gonna be white people in the fucking movie It's almost like they got through it and they're like, you know, we've got that one black guy who just stands in the background and never Says anything. We're gonna need some kind of diversity at the beginning. He does. He does Also, the note I have here is hippie man breastfeeding a face. I don't remember why I wrote that.

What? Okay, yeah, I wrote down Woody Harrelson dressed as Conan the Barbarian for some reason. I'm not sure it was supposed to be Jesus like with blonde hair like Mormon Jesus. No, that's just a dad. That's just a dad giving a socket to a baby. Why did you have a rampo head bound on? I don't know. That was one of the creepiest things I've ever seen. Like like anyone you only have to get like three minutes in the movie to see what we're talking about it's disturbing yeah I wrote he looks like the how to be spiritual guy from you to Well, and I love to that anyone lists everybody listening in right now is going what the fuck are you guys talking about this is just the opening credits guys It just gets crazier. This is the most saying movie is ever going to be four seconds into this film right yeah and we're

introduced to about twenty people that we'll never see again and basically just a bunch of people doing life in slow motion i don't that's basically it very boring people in slow motion that's it and uh... some music also and might not hear for the music is you just got the lifetime achievement award at the make a wish foundation awards that I'm seeing. I was a running theme in the in the music actually I think my music note here was oh my book of Mormon is starting and then we fade into some extraordinarily white dancing and a fog machine and we don't know right now that we're in heaven but we are yeah I thought we were watching so you think you can dance auditions. Lyrical dancing I wish I could say how many versions of these women I tried

to fucking high school in college and it seems like like an 80s sitcom character is dreaming about this ballet where it seems to be taking place. Yeah but no they're in well they're, okay, we got a call upon your expertise, David, is this like pre-heaven, is this like the prep list at what the hell is this place? This is where Mormons live before they're born, I guess? Yeah, so, so you know, you obviously you have a soul, no, everyone knows that. Oh, yeah. So your soul is always existed and

Before you got yourself a body you lived in this place called primordial existence. I believe it's what's called I also called pre heaven much easier to say so they're on pre heaven because your soul is always existed and always will exist So that's how Mormons got around this whole eternity concept They're like we'll just always always always and something in the middle I think actually that makes it worse because now you have eternities on both sides of your life. You're doubly wrong. They're right. Twice is wrong. It's a big circle of eternity. Now this I'm not sure if this is part of Mormon doctrine or not, but when you're in primordial

heaven are you always like the same age you will be when we meet you later in the movie. I have a lot of questions about that. Super weird. Yeah. So let's wait for that. But yeah. Other question about pre-Heaven. Is it the heaven that came out before God created heaven? Like he was excited to create heaven and such a little bit of pre-Heaven came out. And you're right. So that's what happened. It lubricates for the regular heaven, I gotcha.

So now we meet the illegitimate love child, a Benedict Cumberbatch and McGyver. Can we just call him Chandler? I think he was Chandler. I have him as James Spader's face controlling McGyver's body like Kram. Oh, I see. I have him down as Gayer Paul Lind. It looks like an evil henchman for a hockey-themed supervillain. It looks like Billie Jean King is not my son.

Whatever you picture when you hear that sentence, that's what he looks like. He also just announces several things that are the Eli Bosnick story. Hey, somebody out there, I'm coming. All you can think about is getting down there to those physical bodies. I'm just like, man, they're giving them to me. These are too easy. They're too easy. Right. So what we're doing here, we're meeting Todd and Julie, who are in pre-heaven, and Julie is worried that once they get to regular earth, he's not going to love her anymore. Yes, she literally says, go ahead, go have your wild fling on earth. I want that was fantastic.

So you got family, they're heaven married. So this is not just your average marriage. They're heaven married even before they have bodies. So this was actually a shock to me too. I knew that once you got regular married, then you were married forever. I didn't know you were already were married even before you were married.

This is a whole new level of marriage. Mormons take marriage fucking seriously apparently. But don don't they just wear a fucking crazy on their sleeve in a way that none of the other religions do i mean we've watched refreshing oh my god this was pretty fucking bizarre okay and then we also have to immediately address the sexism of this movie because it does not take long oh my literally opening Literally opening words. Yeah, right, yes. So the girl here is all insecure and she just can't handle things and she's worried about

herself being ugly and he won't like her if she's ugly. He doesn't seem to be worried about it at all. Again, we're talking about fucking a guy who's so ugly we had to modify McGiver to get there. We couldn't just say he looked like McGiver. He looks like Tyrion Lannister made out of pancakes and she's worried that he won't love her. And by the way, she's fucking hot.

She's like more than Jesse Spano. No, it has binders of women like this, binders. Julie is not Christian movie hot. She's like actually hot. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yes. Legit hot. I had, and she has the big 80s hair for some reason that still turns me on, whatever.

Even before, at this point in the movie I didn't realize it was a musical yet, right? So you just sent me a link and said watch this movie and you said movie So I'm like, oh god, they're singing why are they singing? This is like a terrible cocktail lounge. What you're going on? You're never ready for the seeing in this movie no matter how many songs and they get every time they start singing you go Fuck it's a music Perfect. I'm never so abrupt. Yeah No matter how many songs in they get, every time they start singing you go, fuck, it's a music terrifying.

I'm never so abrupt. Yeah, it's always so abrupt and so much worse than you remembered. And you keep thinking eventually one of the songs will be good. I'm afraid I never thought that for a second after this first one. So now we meet the heaven dominatrix lady that has a clipboard and shuffles everybody along to the proper vagina. And apparently she catches attitude with every, with every single person who is going to be set down to earth in this movie, she catches attitude with starting here.

I have fucked unwilling small animals with less Vaseline than the lens of this fucker. It's shot like a commercial for warming loop. I can't see the fucking movie and it continues through this love scene all the way to fucking miss Cratchit telling him that he's got a hurry up otherwise he's gonna end up I don't know in Africa and that she keeps threatening people with being black too Consistently when white people don't hurry over to the platform of being born She's like do you want to grow up into Troy? Because you're going to end up into Troy. I got a 501 that leaves in Detroit. You will get shot in the face and a drive by it.

I will see you in a second. She actually says, do you want to be a missionary to marsupials in Madagascar, which is not actually possible since they don't exist there, but they, what is she doing? Even if they did, there's humans there so like would you if there were like if you go to the fucking zoo and get the marmos sets and the fucking marmos sets are marsupials what am I thinking of anyway it doesn't matter

um it bevers yeah kangaroos was just go easy talk fair enough apparently uh marsupials are not above redemption They're not like black people. I mean come on If a marsupial knocked on your door at like eight in the morning and wanted to talk to you about Jesus you'd let a kangaroo Not a possum though. Wait this is it goes to our Christian movies are all in the same universe because we know that marsupials can go to hell because we know that marsupios can go to hell. Oh, that's right. Hellbone kangaroo, it's all one movie. Just ties around to episode one. Well done sir. One movie.

This is a consistent theology. That makes perfect sense now. I also want to point out just very quickly, Unjule. She's clearly not wearing magic underwear. That is so hot, so fucking hot. You're gonna cost her though. Oh, you're right. Also, real quick, can we talk about the set that they're in on whatever, at one point

I wrote down, I feel like they're about to sell me the mattress they're standing on. It's weird, I don't know. And then the place where we're about to find out you go from this like pre-hept primordial, what was it called? Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre- it called? Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept.

Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept.

Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept.

Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. Pre-hept. up yeah you climb to the top of the little Aztec temple there yeah right then two Japanese guys all in black run on and like run you back off right it was vultures of hard definitely had better special effects in this movie oh yeah that was possible but it did yeah yeah yeah even for 1989 these were pretty fucking bad and we should point out too that this whole thing is a play right it's not like staged like a movie they're filming the sets from a play the entire fucking time so yeah yeah just to give you the right visual here so now fucking megeyver cumberbatch goes to earth or whatever and Julie's all sad because she's gonna be all alone

and I guess all of her future siblings show up to hang out with her and comfort her. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah. So they all like crowd around her and talk about how happy they are and how they're always going to be a family no matter what. I just wrote in my notes, I would choose hell over these people. I'm not sure this is heaven, but I would choose hell over these people. There are terrible family in heaven. We'll later find out that they're even worse on earth.

But in heaven, even in heaven heaven they're insufferable. They're literally negotiating how many of us can fit in mom's womb. What is going on? So why is everyone dressed like a mildly gay pirate from India? Is that a normal thing? Or had the monarch, Mormon, or even a heaven jammies or whatever. That sells. But they may get down to the youngest girl. can't remember name and later some shit Emily thank you so so she's worried because by the time it gets to me quote mom and dad might be out of gas which is uh fair fair yeah you know there are quite a few kids there and it's just like yeah yeah maybe maybe mom's vages is too banged up for you to make it out so i guess you're just gonna go bodyless for alternative

I know she's just gonna slide out like a fucking someone mailed you a Chipotle burrito But then Benji little shit Benji then says what if I'm not gonna say it Okay, so two sensitive word so I Actually wrote in my notes. What is Emily worried that she's gonna get aborted and then the character actually says that She's like, well, you know only 1.7 kids per family they're seven of us not to mention a board and she gets about Close your little baby ears. Shmish Morshman And just talking about family planning and also at 1.7 kids for family I mean first of all, those families

have about 1.0 moms per household. So it's not really fair to be comparing that to Mormons, but also, I mean, that is just unfair. But also, they seem to think 1.7 kids per family somehow means like every family murders three tenths of a child, like what? So I saw the arms off of the elbows or what. per family somehow means like every family murders three tenths of a child

saw the arms off of the elbows or whatever that's coming up later really have to make that choice but that's true that's true that's a real thing it is a great yeah exactly we're gonna meet uh... now we're gonna meet the twins pam and uh... and jimmy who are supposed to be playing twins but are clearly fucking like they were fucking before like when they said lights and camera They were fucking and stopped for action. Yes someone stopped them from fucking to push them out on stage

Like yes she walked out on stage and he slid out of her Who's going on between these two characters and they don't hide it? It's written in the script like I assume that during rehearsal. He was like great So uh Jimmy and Stella and Danny you have dance call and you guys, you just bury into each other. I don't care who's on top. I don't care who's on bottom. I just want you both to come back wet and full. Never stops the entire movie.

Every time they're in a scene together, their hands are on each other's thighs. They're breathing whirs. It's like your twins. Just not cool, man. It's like your twins. It's just not cool, man. Not even for Mormons. Right. I've never wanted twins to fuck so much since the Olsen twins turned 18.

18, my ass. So now we're going to meet two other guys who I would bet money were the inspiration for the book of Mormon musical? Yeah, no question. Yeah, so we get our basically our Josh Gad of this movie and his sidekick or vice versa. And these two guys, by the way, would look out of place anywhere, but on bicycles with starch white button downs. And they're going to sing us the third song of the movie. And this has the most spectacularly bizarre lyrics of anything I've ever fucking heard.

Yeah, I wrote my notes because at this point the dry ice smoke was so bad that you literally could not see anything going on in the movie so I just wrote in my notes. We get it movie, you vape. But yeah, they're going to sing the we don't know English song right well first of all you're they're singing about how humble they are that's like drowning a fish you can't that doesn't but they also have this line we've already alluded to it where they're like we're not just the ordinary we are extraordinary and they actually say working a righteous Harry Carey I went back like six fucking times to make sure I looked at the lyrics online

They are saying work. I have no that means ritual suicide that means carving your bowels out with a sword What the fuck could they possibly have meant there? I was thinking they might mean Harry Carey like the baseball announcer That's right. I'm still confusing but less so so by a little bit, maybe. I don't know. Yeah. So bizarre. I think they were just like, well, it rhymes. No, right. Yeah. There's no question there was a writer's meeting and it was like 11 o'clock, which is bedtime for Mormons, and they were like, so Brian, I mean, we've got the word ordinary, and he was like, how about Harry Carey? And everyone was like, that's fucking stupid. And he was like, dollar in the swear jar so they kept it that's all the these guys are gonna keep coming back so we we need to like give him names so

i i think the uh... jimmy at the one guy thought look like jimmy volmer from south park you know the media for sure and the others i thought was bubbles from trailer park boys i don't know if you've ever seen that the little bitch that just as whatever you say crestler i'll do whatever you say that one. Yeah, totally bubbles

All right, I had him as this movies Josh Gad the entire time, but yeah So then clipboard lady shows up to tell him to hurry the fuck up And I'm thinking like man you let Todd and Julie have two extra course courses Guys fucking jump into back and have some side of me before they go, but no And this is oh my god I've got like nine pages of notes about the marsupials and madagascar so while i'm scrolling you guys can pick it up from here

well how about how excited jimmy vomer gets when he says we're going down at the same time and i wrote my notes the liba ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha on bingo bitches so then those two whoever the fucks they were bamful way and clipboard lady returns to the rest of the kids and I gotta ask did anyone else catch the line cue here no okay if you watch it again and you're not going to but anybody doesn't watch it yet very very clearly someone off screen says I messed that up once and the lady goes I messed that up once Great no, but let's let's let's dive into that yeah The woman that just sent these people to go into some woman's womb to become babies it meds to the family

I mess that up once and don't worry though because there was a nurse that fixed it I actually so I wrote down is this movie actually admitting that science is smarter than God? Because that's what it sounds like. Or which angel was in charge of that? Just like, fuck it, Brian, get down there. Well, because Allison sent them at the wrong times. Yeah, Brian, I know you're a giant winged lion man out of fire, but I need you to do that.

Move one from there No, cut one in three. Thank you Brian Oh, and this is also by the way because then the two the two twins start rubbing each other's thighs and once again The girl is scared so the guy has to man up and tell her it's gonna be okay Wait, wait, we got to talk about this. We got to we got to live in this for a second Because they're about to go. And I wrote my notes, these actors fucked hard, these actors fucked crying. But he looks at him and says, promise me, Jimmy.

Promise me, you'll recognize me, and I wrote my notes. Promise me, you'll figure out that I can only come when I can't breathe. So the secret thing they figure out to do together so that they know that they belong together in pre-heaven is to put their hands on each other's upper thighs. Inner, upper inner thigh.

They might as well have put a finger inside each other. Three, two, one. That's how it will not be you. Oh, and remember what he calls it. He says, let's try and experiment. Yeah, and the evil is even better as she says. What's an experiment? You don't bitch.

How stupid are they making women out to be in this movie? This is unbelievable. What's an experiment? And it just gets worse and worse. Also, I noticed at this point, he looks like a Japanese man in white face. Oh my god, he does. Yeah, check it out.

It's really good. And also this is where we first get the backup dancers and you couldn't even tell if they were shooting for in unison. No, honestly it seemed like one of the dancers is always buffering and I'm not sure how that's possible but that's what it looked like when I was watching. And also the song is not even remotely related and this is going to happen a lot. It's not even remotely related to what was going on up to that point. They might as well have started singing Haku no Matata. It's funny. I wrote down Aladdin's a whole new world, Mormon style.

So yes, we're on the same page. And then just to make sure that we understand right away that this movie is going to get good and fucking dark. Wally Kessler, the guy who got... got bent down with this movie's Josh gade shows back up because i guess he was miscarried yes someone swallowed him right

and the uh... the line we get he's describing what happened to him he says i was screaming down this incredible tube of light and then wham i'm back here and and the mean admin Mormon bitch, her response is, oh it happens all the time. Right.

Oh, sorry, that was a flashlight, it's cool though. We've got it. Sorry, I didn't. No wonder it happens all the time. Who doesn't have one of those? Yeah. But now we get the scene where the little girl from before who was scared that mom and dad are going gonna get done

funneling things outside of her flap curtains She makes Jimmy promise to make mom and dad fuck that's basically she's like yeah promise me Jimmy Promise is this where she swears that she'll die for him Yes, you smile He's like yeah, you sure will I'll be in the sequel, but Yeah, but but but let's discuss the logistics of that for a second though Yeah, because before he leaves I don't know if they know in Primordial heaven or whatever if you know about fucking but Jimmy says I promise you'll be born like what is he gonna do?

What was his plan? How is he anyway anyway? Oh mom, dad, I prepared you these oysters. What is a Barry Manelow record? And this, Kirito. What is this, David Michael, to narrate 50 shades of brain? What is he gonna do? What is he gonna do? What is he gonna do?

What is his plan? How is he going anyway? Oh mom, dad, I prepared you these oysters. What is this? A Barry Manelow record? What is this, Kirito? What is this, David Michael? To narrate 50 shades of brain? What is this, David Michael? To narrate 50 shades of brain? It is fair. speaker he's gonna home in this pre-heaven makes any sense does it like how can there be kids how can there be a four-year-old like it was been four-year-old for eternity of it actually said i thought like i assume that that she's gonna be born and died when she's

four so is this like oh okay maybe i don't know well i don't know it's this bizarre that wouldn't be the darkest part of this movie um... so now we're gonna cut to the airport here. Now we're outside of pre-heaven. We're at an airport and Julie is all grown up. We are 20 seconds into this movie. I know.

What? But this scene is actually one of my favorites. This was awesome. And this really, really underscores, because at first you're just like, oh, maybe that line was just kind of sexist. Maybe I'm written, no now this movie is amazingly sexist so

julie is with wally the guy who got miscarried earlier apparently he got born and and him and julie got together weren't you you catch up yeah let's not forget she's already more are heaven married to what were they calling him a guy for somebody yeah yeah already have a married to this world's gayest sketch artist right actually that is that yeah that's it yeah Yeah, the other way she's already having married to this world's gayest sketch artist, right? Actually, that is a that yeah, that's it. Yeah, we'll get there

But yeah, so and then and then all of a sudden she's at an airport like the next scene and she's got a new band Which by the way is kind of a habit for Julie as we'll find out so she Just get used to it. She does So yeah, and then now Wally is going off to to his Mormon mission. He's gonna be gone for two years He's going to California and she's supposed to wait for him as a matter of fact. She signed a contract Promising her vagina would stay, you know free of everything non-tamp on until he gets back And I just want to take a moment, okay? I have spent the last four days asking my fiance if she will do the dish in the sink.

The... The dish. And this woman signed a contract to wait to get fucked for two years. It's a cereal bowl. I'm gonna do it when we hang up. And she wants his cock so bad, she drops to her knees

Raps her arms around his legs and begs for it. Just like don't go. I need the D I pause on that scene for quite a while I remember it quite well Yeah, so that now we sing another so now we get like three more couples that show up This is where we see our first black guy and they're all going to sing and dance together about the I'll wait for you Mormon song or whatever. Also a crazy billionaire money. I remake this and then after the Mormons leave we just watch these girls get rammed by Nubian goddess gods. We just watch just just giant black men with swinging black cocks just come in and wreck the stage With that little girl in the yellow dress watching the entire time. Oh, there you go

She's excited. She's not scared. She's just excited Hey, she's eternity years old. It's not it's not there's nothing wrong with that Eli you don't lose billionaire money with Julie you could just walk up to that girl and say I've been talking to Jesus And he told me that you choking on my cock will actually make him super happy. So let's see if that works. I have a contract right here for you. Also and I'm surprised we haven't brought this up but am I the only one that feels like songs should rhyme here and there?

Yeah, it's right. Because there's there's a rhyme occasionally which makes you think you're missing out on the other RISE it's like you're being gaslighted by the movie because it'll be like we're together forever Will be a part never hamster clock penguin racket balls Glasses red hat and you're like wait The first ones rhyme, right also I want to point out I looked at Anna after she said quote like a faithful girl waits for a missionary and she slapped me in the balls and left the room It's probably best that she left the room when she did I actually have a couple of did Anna leave now is in my notes here and now just in case this movie was starting to make sense to you We cut to Jamie Gertz and a wheelchair.

Oh, yes. I've had this dream before. I've had this dream before. Wait, no, never mind. Yeah, so the twin girl that loved to dance in heaven is in a wheelchair. Now she can still be in the nutcracker as I understand it. So, you know, we never find out why she's in a wheelchair. Just fuck her yeah I thought it just because she sucked at dancing so much in heaven God was like fuck you you're not dancing anymore you know what it was he that phasing didn't go super well that lady messes up all the time she was like oh she adjusted it wrong she's like fuck I didn't send the spine I didn't send the spine I'm gonna get in trouble. Can we switch the baby's spine with another babe?

No, it's okay. All the kids are using their spines. Come on, all the kids. We'll use the luge. We'll use the luge, it'll be fun. Alright, so he described this scene to us. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha yeah good luck anybody this is this is this really happens this really happens this is a musical number including uh Jamie Gertz and a wheelchair starring Jamie Gertz and wheelchair um about big noses that

Mormon dads have yes Yes, they're all singing the Everyone has dad's nose and it's really big and they're all wearing fake noses and doing Jimmy Duranty impressions. Yes, yes, yes, that is what's fucking happening in this movie. I wouldn't, if I just made some shit up, I would have said hamster racquetball, something or whatever, like he liked it. But no, they're doing a Jimmy Duranty dad as a big nose. They even say at one time, by one point, even mom has daddy's nose. So, more incest in this movie and will this ever make sense will there ever be a reason for them

to be singing a big nose Jimmy Duranty song altogether as a family fuck you fuck you for even asking but I did have to pause and look up this movie because I thought like is this bedlara never I didn't think this is a family but I, I don't know. So now we cut to the cool kids and I love the cool kids. First of all, there is no one in this scene that I would not fuck with two beers in me. Oh, I didn't know. Not us. Same notes, except for the, I don't even have the beer part. Strong, strong disagree.

Everyone here looks like hepatitis C got one wish. I'm sorry. I don't know what you're talking about. The chick in the black cool-ot is crazy fucking hot. They all look like they fucked someone to get into West Side Story, but then he didn't cast them even though they're fucking. You are all crazy. Oh, come on. You're telling me that you're telling me Don Johnson. Yeah, right you did nothing come on. I Everyone looks like I

Look I could swab the hair from the drain and fuck that before I would fuck anyone that's in this scene Like a commercial for Tanner that went terribly wrong during a bus accident. Go on. But in a good way. I'm unzipping, go on. Same thing. So now, as if this movie hadn't gotten bizarre enough and it apparently hadn't up to this point, the cool kids are singing to Jimmy who is the twin brother of the wheelchair

girl about how socially irresponsible their dougar family with their seven kids is. Yeah, their goal is zero population. So apparently they've also been reading the Georgia Guidestones. They meant zero population growth. That's what they were looking for, but they left out growth. So they're singing about murdering all the humans. I thought they were going for like helix or population extinction like the like the echo books, you know The Tom and C. So get it Tom and C. So we're cracking up right now. They're having to read that well Because because you miss pronounced the name you're talking about David Ike

Ike There's no no Ellen the dude's name. Well, it's actually half David Ike and half another author. So he's a chimera. Oh, I can't. A chimera of sorts. I don't know. Yeah, I think you're confusing it. Because little Wayne in this scene explained it all to us.

It's all playing fair and good. It's all playing fair and good. Yeah, yeah. They're singing a song about the importance of condoms. One of the lines in here is about it this is the actual line you realize a Borschen is the answer my friend without it there's no peace of mind now i agree fair fair fair is that a Filipino Bruce Lee who says that yes

yes I also love that his choice is here now remember this is supposed to be like the evil tempting people right so this is like the devil on your soldier telling you to do the bad things so the choices they give him are do you want a nice set of wheels so this is the evil choice or the holy choice forty seven kids wow making it pretty easy on this guy seems like a false dichotomy but okay if you want to have a dark moment just remember that this is the most fun the women who acted in this scene Ever had in their entire lives. It was the only time they were allowed to wear outfits like this It's the only time they were allowed to dance like this. This is how they Themselves to sleep for the next 16 years. I've been to Salt Lake City

There is not you do not see skin like you do in the scene. It is there's a lot of skin. So enjoy it Mormons It's worth it. This is a closest. you're getting to porn Mormons so have fun also I want to introduce my absolute favorite character in this entire movie there's a what appears to be a gay black biker gypsy fortune teller rastafarian predator alien in this I believe i already a little way right yeah yeah go on yes and well if he doesn't become the main character i'm going to be very disappointed in this movie you are going to be very disappointed in this movie then um so now we're at home with the doggers

time for soapy choice yeah right right yes exactly the fucking might make the exact same so so do I yeah so the little daughter is asking mom hey mom do you love us all the same and she's like what do you mean honey I'm like that's not need a clarification you're just stalling and she's like well my teacher was reading us this story where a mom

had to give up one of her kids I'm like it would do mom read you the teacher read you Sophie's choice really so the kids decide to play like Sophie's choice, the board game, the family. The kids basically decide to do hunger games in their heads. Yeah, right. And they try to give her an out. They're like, Hey, how about just this stuffed animal? Just say the stuffed animal. And the mom's like, I don't know. We do have this broken one in the wheelchair. That's what does. That's the first choice. What about that Pam cripple bitch?

I don't know. What about the broken one? She's dead from the waist down, so that's like halfway there already. She's halfway there. It's only a point to seven kid anyway. Do we have to paralyze one of you if we kill her? I don't know. By the way, did I hear correctly that the monkey's name is monkey face?

Is that's, yeah. And no one at home, urban dictionary monkey face. Just promise me you won't do it. Do it. Google image show to your kids. Don't look at it first. Just Google image. As they say,

I'll tell you show it to your child. Monkey face. So, now there is one, there's one person in the room though that does say, wow, this fucked up. There are too many kids here.

And apparently that's just an evil thing to say. Yeah, yeah, that's Jimmy who is wearing about one fifth of his shorts. I can see Jimmy's balls. So, well, I'll never not see Jimmy's balls. Every time I close my eyes, I see Jimmy's balls for the rest of my life. So, I'll be at the red Adam, that's it.

Exactly, exactly, what the hell are you thinking? So yeah, so he starts giving them shit for having too many kids because I guess his friends are picking on him for coming from from such a big family. And like this is like the worst thing that has ever happened to this family. This is the biggest problem they have ever had ever had to face together yeah it's not no issue to figure out who would be killed if we had to but apparently the thought of one more and so they sing a song about it the parents sing a wide-earned our song want us to fuck and why do my parents keep fucking song yeah that's true trio and in my in my notes it just says is this an anti-condo

movie i think that is the plot there will be no plot so now Jimmy goes outside where his where his wheelchair sister is is sitting out there looking at the stars talking about how much it would suck if they were all atheists pretending to look at the stars we see rise on those balls come on also this actress she might as well be kicking her legs back and forth and that we know it is Also can we talk about how fucked up it is so it's already fucked up that they're signal that they love each other and that their Soul siblings is to put the hand on the inner thigh, but she's paralyzed from the waist down so we can assume she can't feel that but she's paralyzed from the waist down so we can assume she can't feel that.

So he puts a hand on her thigh and she's like, I don't know man, what are you doing down there? Remember we talked about the finger inside me? This will be better. Yeah, but she longingly looks at him and says the words, you forgot your sword. And I was like, what usually happens out on this day? Yeah, she goes like, she has this whole big spiel about how, like, his quest for freedom has begun or something, because apparently they figured the movie had to start or whatever, and that was them trying to make that happen. We also get some jingly keys in this scene.

Yes, yeah, I, God would let her be trapped in a wheelchair like that. And her answer is, you want all the answers at once instead of these jingly keys, I'm was stars. That was her. Why are you crippled? Why did God make you cripple? And she said because stars. I don't know how that adds up. Now and then of course this is where we get into song nine and possibly those are not it's song nine. Yeah, I'll have 16 yes, um, and I don't think any song Pissed me off lyrically more than this one because I just because I'm a pedantic fuck, but the the the chorus of this song is Line-up online

Precept on preset. Okay. Yeah, if anyone who knows what the word precept means already knows where I'm going here You can't put a precept on a precept otherwise it would just be a sept Yeah, you would have to put the that's what precept means is that before we start moving we've already accepted this you fucking get it I still don't know what line. I mean so sure. I was I was stuck on light a page light upon light as Lerick I Also wrote my notes. I never knew precept and wisdom rhymed until today. And where it did rhyme, it was like a 12 year old right in a sad poem, you know. Also fun game to play. Jimmy's eyebrows get darker every single scene. So if you

watch, eventually he has just some rare jungle caterpillar crawling across his face but it gets darker and darker as the scene progresses. It's good times. Yeah. Also just really quick, there's a lot of air space inside 80s shirts. It's in. It's like a bag of chips. Swim and crunching around in there. It's enormous. They were all trying to fool us into thinking they were fat and had giant tits back then Yeah, so remember Julie. Yeah, meaning that she's the hot one that looks like Mormon Jesse Spano anyway So last time we saw her she was with Wally promising to never never never touch another dick again until he got back Next time we see her she's going out with Peter. Oh, don't let her off the hook. So easy Noah

Don't forget that the first time we said this is the third time we've seen her the first time Yeah, so she was in she was in heaven with her married heaven husband or whatever right That she was with Wally now now she's getting all premed and proper for yeah, but wait Let's be honest. It was just a friend named Peter just right right who she had eventually ended up engaged to yeah So now they sing the time for a let me fuck someone else song Yeah, it's a fuck buddy song. They sing a fuck buddy song. Yeah, she's she basically sends a letter to Wally saying like look I just need some day get over it. I'm still keeping my promise But while it unless you can mail me six inches of cock

Put this on hold So many so many times I can slide down the banister before my parents get suspicious while we again again. It's four in the morning. Sure fucking is. I heard a line in the phone where she said she had dozens of these friends and I was like, yes, all right. She is getting it. Good for you, Julie. Good for you really good for you not yet the more mingles don't usually get to be that free uh... and i of course my note here is you know

musical or not you could have just shot this in a real bedroom you guys do know that no you don't know okay nevermind uh... so and then of course we get like two different songs here because first we get her singing about having dozens of fuck buddies but then we get the back and forth song where like she's singing a letter to wallie and wallie singing a letter back and and they're slowly growing apart. He's also going through more and more more men companions is that that is that like a euphemism for gay lover

David. Well in the case of bubbles for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So clearly fucking. Do I ever need to say? Well, also has this moment, he says he put his companion in the hospital. Yeah, he overworked him. So he's your wife. Yeah.

They show paramedics carrying him out on a stretcher. Yeah, he says the guy's lazy. And then in the next letter, he says he put him in the hospital and was like, fuck, that guy's hard core about this But he still hasn't baptized a single person. He's really bad shape about it. Yeah, yeah again This is this is where the my book of Mormon Parallel or not my book and that's your show with a book of Mormon musical Parallels really started coming through because yeah, they hadn't baptized the single so so even either they suck at it or

Mormonism is crazy or both those really started coming through because you have they hadn't baptize the single soul so you've been either they suck at it or more minism is crazy or both uh... but this is where he finally meets up with eighties josh gad who quote does whatever i tell him without asking any questions and quotes so yeah is gale over uh... for sure i mean if there is any sexual tension in that movie it's

those two way more than the brother and sister for sure and it's comes again I want to be in the airport scene but we are he yeah bubbles bubbles gets his wish for sure yeah he fucks him in the end yeah exactly so this man good for him so during this letter writing back and forth thing we establish of course that he's nobody could keep up with him because he's such a good missionary so they sent Josh Gather to help him out but also she dumps him during a split screen that looks like a local cash for gold commercial. Yeah, I didn't ask that right away. Apparently she dumped him and got engaged to Peter on in a letter. It was really hard to follow, but that happened apparently.

My note here was Mormon dreams ripped at the seams. It was right out of Greece Love it a little bit of Freddie my love in there too. Yeah, it's kind of yeah, but without the rhymes so Then so then we cut okay, so now Wally and and fat guy did he have a name? I'm sure he had a name at some Drew Carrie the Mormon Harold is named Harold. That's right. Yeah, yeah So Wally and Harold are at the beach in San Diego and Wally's all bummed

because his girlfriend just broke up with them and he hasn't baptized anybody. And of course, they don't really ever address this, but this is the story of Mormonism ruining Wally's life, isn't it? Mm-hmm. Okay, just wanna be sure. And they decide that the way to do it

is to give it a really hard try at converting people. And his methodology is to get up on a bench and make animal sounds. Yes. And I wrote my notes, oh, he's having a breakdown. This wasn't scripted. There was very clearly someone that screamed, caught, caught, give him his pill.

Right. Yeah, for people that have listened to this show, you probably assume that Elyse is saying something silly. No, this really happened. He, I don't know, Park Bench and started moving and quacking and what, yeah. What was his excuse? This is what Idaho sounds like? Yeah, these are the sounds of Idaho, which is where I came from to tell you all about Moroni or whatever. Yeah. yeah and but this is far less disturbing than the other ways he tries to start converting people which is about to happen like leaping in front of them as they're walking by or grabbing a child

off of a moving skateboard while waking him up and that one has an explanation this one I know so they grab the kid going on a skateboard and he shakes him and says are you eight and the kid says no I'm six and he says oh crap and puts him down now the reason that matters follow me here In Mormonism, there's a thing called the age of accountability. Yeah, it's very fancy. It's it's eight eight So like if the kid was like I'm old enough party You were seven and a half you can murder someone and that is fine If you are seven and a half you can murder someone and that is fine. Do your thing.

When you turn eight it's all over. But yeah, that's when sin counts and you can get your ass baptized. So they can totally, if they want to get their baptism counts up, roll into an elementary school and start dunking second graders. They can just rack it up. One question, one statement. One. Is the age of whatever you just said also the age of consent?

Because I will change religion on this show. I can neither confirm nor deny that. Well, in more minutes of you get to add infinity to everybody's age, Eli. So nice. Yeah, I'm going to use that in my upcoming hearing. Yeah, it's called your honor. They were always legal Second thing and I need to point this out because this is very important

No, it sent me the outtakes from this scene and the outtakes from this movie are kind of lame They're just people messing up their lines except for this scene where the Wally character keeps picking up the kid and Hurling him as a ground like he's spiking a goddamn football They're all YouTube will put it on the show notes But in this outtake it's fucking terrifying because they keep picking the kid up and going are you aint and the kid goes No, I'm six and he just fucking spikes the kids face into the ground The kid is clearly crying and it's what we do it anymore once more and he's just like

he keeps but it's like he's gonna break his back like fucking batman fucking terrifying watch the outtakes of this scene obviously while he hated children and just continually tried to murder this child during a shoot

he wasn't a real human yet, he wasn't eight. Right, he's only six years old, he's useless. So now, okay, so then they walk away. And you guys remember Todd? No, of course not, he ladies, the guy look like Benedict Cumberbatch, fuck my guy ever. Yeah, it looks like Dawson's Creek fucked Porkey Pid.

Let me just say. It looks like Steve Irwin's fetus. Ha, ha, ha, ha. You got it. That's the one. What is it now? What are we calling him? The rapy professor from Savile Bell, the college year. Yeah, that's him. Jeremiah Lasky. Yeah, I know his name. So it's right. So that's it's too Savile Bell references we get in this movie. So Todd is just drawing on the park bench and he's singing about how jealous he is of all the Mormons Mormoniness. I don't know. It seemed like he was jealous of what he's drawing. He's like, I'm drawing

these people and they look just way better lives than I have. We should explain. Todd has a magical power in this movie. That's right. I'm going to say that again because I need it to be heard by other humans Todd has a magical power in this movie mainly he can Draw people's potential Even his own even his own yeah, so he's drawn himself as he wants to be and he's just I fucking his own picture This is very clearly supposed to be the Castro, right? Like this is some gay guy hanging out of the Castro show in 19 year olds like this is what you could be, huh? How about the bushes? Now, all right.

Oh, no, that scene comes up and it's even pretty weird. Yeah, oh yeah. And it's it couldn't be clearer what his motivations are here. So now we go back to Julie, the sleut, and she's in love with Peter now. Now this is the first time I wrote just a wild guess. This is where Anna left, isn't it? Yeah, I had coaxed Anna back into the room at this point and her list of things she wanted to be as a wife. Literally made Anna growl like getting too close to a strange dog. I'm sitting there in the couch I'm typing in my notes. I've got it paused And I'm like, that's where the heater's going and I just hear Anna going As this world is this girl lists the things. Well, I first love her first list is everything shit Peter gives her everything

She ever wanted which is and I quote waking sleeping laughing weeping That's everything you've ever wanted huh? Alright, that's fun. Okay. Just need a sandwich and a weepy blow job. That's good. The Eli Bosnick story.

And she says afterwards that she wants to be a good for wife for him and to her that means cooking, cleaning and I guess using a lot of base to cover up the black eye. Yeah, one thing she notably didn't mention was being faithful because she hasn't really done that very well so far in this movie. Hey, you know what? Julie can fuck whoever she wants to. Hey, I am judgeinner. I am judgeinner, just saying. But that's okay because it's time for her to do another song about how much she loves Peter featuring a sweet Spanish guitar and a Cassio keyboard. What's the name of the song? Make yourself worthy for your man.

Yes. Oh, that's amazing. Yes. That's actually the god damn name of the song. So then we, we, we, we cut back to the Dougher's living room where they're all You know Taken the wheelchair girl for a ride right, but then the two brothers are fighting don't baby Donald or Connor and Jimmy are in a big fight And we never know what it's about but Oh, no, it's about is very clear Benji got his nose and Jimmy's business. He said it several times

he got his nose and Jimmy's business. He said it several times. He never knows that of my business, which for some reason, when Todd gets his nose all up in his business in the park, that's fine later on. But for right now, he just not like it. He shoves him at the end of this fight and Baby Donald O'Connor acts like he has internal bleeding.

Oh yeah, he pushed him to death. I expected him to get crazy whisper disease from left behind Well here's what I don't get about this movie with the exception of Pam who yeah, she's in a wheelchair But she's actually kind of a nice human being throughout this movie Every one of the other siblings are complete assholes to each others throughout the entire movie They're constantly just all of each other shit But for some reason they're like, oh Jimmy was mean What do we do to save Jimmy? It's like you're all assholes. I don't know why you're picking on Jimmy

But yeah, I just want to point out that you just said and I don't know exactly how you meant this she was in a wheelchair But she's a good person Well, we're that way David you and I are the two ones that are brave enough to save it you and I are the two ones that are brave enough to save it people in wheelchairs are assholes and I'm finally David Michael of the My Book of Mormon podcast which is available for an iTunes review at any moment the first brave soul to say again at My Book of Mormon on Twitter is the first one to say that disabled people are and I'll say it broken wouldn't I'm just saying it's barely her editor I was in like a target or something with my son

who was like five at the time, and there's a big fat lady in her little hover round thing, right? And she needs a cereal on the top shelf, so she stood up out of this thing to reach for it, and my son pointed with the most accusational finger on the planet and said, daddy, she can walk! Just average hell! Just a matter of water. finger on the planet and said daddy she can walk Walter the big old rickard. Yeah, so apparently that's not just me. I apparently have I'm feeding that on to future generations Sorry world I can't open

So Yeah, bring it back bringing back no Yeah, bring it back, bring it back now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just standing up my point. For a mother who's been in a wheelchair since before I was born and how your nasty little child will be fucking with her at the end. My mom versus your kid, go!

But I'll say it, once you take the brakes off those wheels and make some person pretty good fucking out. Wow, okay, I'm never gonna get back now, so I'm just gonna literally be up there, I'll be a beep or something and then we'll just show up on this scene. So, so now we go back to Jimmy and his buddies and the two the two less hot of the three hot chicks is trying to are trying to double team him, I guess, or something. A Jeep dealership in purgatory. I have no idea what's happening. The last time they were together, they were all huddled around something that

looked like a Porsche. I don't think it was a Porsche, but they at least tried to make it look like they tried to call it a mountain. Now it's a Jeep. So I don't know what's happening. This group, they're losing money fast. And they, they sing the We Can Fuck Whoever We Want song. And there's just this incredible moment in this scene where they say jumping our fears

And everyone does the widest jump you can possibly imagine at the same time. It is Amazing if you haven't watched this movie yet watch it only for the 10th of a second all the white people on stage go I Was just watching the brunette through this entire night I was just watching the Brunette through this entire night. Stung my ankles. And apparently, they're, okay, so I guess what they're trying to do is talk Jimmy into going to California with him to party or whatever, although they're very unclear about that. And I guess all nine of them are leaving in the same Jeep too.

That should be fun. But before he can go, we have to go back home where they've got a surprise party for him i guess it's his birthday uh... and let's talk about the gifts that these people have for him okay but before we do can we point out the fact that each person has dressed

like their gift yet each person has he's wearing a costume of their gift uh... so and a july by the way just had wrapped herself up and the entire time I'm like, if she's not naked under there, I'm going to be pissed. Spoiler alert, I'm going to be pissed. Yeah, I kept expecting her. We all have the same note. It's not even like a force we have the same note.

The girl was hot and in nothing but wrapping paper. What did we think was under there? She's rude not to be naked. Yeah. And it was. In fact, it was. So the little rude not to be naked. Yeah, and it was in fact it was So the littlest one gives him mr. Monkey face which we already learned that nobody wants even the mom doesn't want it Yeah, no give her to that fucking old stuff He's like I don't want this stuff monkey. She's like take the fucking stuffed monkey

Mom, do you think the monkey's real? I'm a Mormon. I don't know what's real It's got Zika virus. I don't know what's real Monkey It's got Zika virus. I don't want it And so Ernie is dressed like a chimney sweep because he's gonna shine Jimmy shoes for a year that's a skiff Year a year. Yeah, yeah, that's pretty good gift actually younger sister is gonna and this also I had a I don't know if anyone had this Did you guys have a wistful moment here where you were like oh? Mormons like this is the nice part of Mormonism where they get you in I was gonna stop at wistful no

Yeah, they they wear costumes and they give each other presents and that seems nice And you can just got to compromise that with the crazy pre-com version of And of course... Dan, you're questioning, I know. Yeah, I think nothing... ...wistful never, never entered into it, didn't factor into it. It's like the Norwegian blues plumage. And then the wheelchair girl turns to him. This is just twin sister who's birthday, it also isn't says...

I love that you give me shit about, like, whatever I said before. And you can't even say her name is Pam. No, she's the wheelchair girl. Yeah, I get all the shit Oh, no, I just well, you know like I'm not like this fucking movie I'm not expecting the audience to keep track all these people's names The wheelchair girl. Yeah, she has a name sir Don't you don't police us David. So try get out of rippy turns to to our brother Jimmy And she says will you please Neil before me? And I'm like finally he's gonna eat her out It's about damn time, but no doesn't matter if she can feel it make the alphabet with your tongue Jim Jim

At least give it a try. Let's find out But no she made him tin foil night stuff Yeah for the because remember earlier, she said the thing about the quest, no, and anyway, yeah. And did you guys catch when she was nighting him with her little cardboard sword that when she like tapped his shoulder,

he actually said, ow, that hurt. Yeah. I just, I just, I know. Fucking pussy. But then we get to the, to the turn. It is, it is awesome. Mom has a surprise. Plots about to get going. But then we get to the to the turn Because they Mom has a surprise lots about to get going. I know it's been sounding pretty boring so far Apparently mom is pregnant again and Jimmy is crazy

Mad that his mom fucked he is so mad that his mom Norman Bates would have been like dude you have issues You need to let your mom live her life. Well, this is a clear spite pregnancy. I mean what come on Clearly likes cut pregnant right in his face spite pregnancy the Eli Bosnick story Yeah, so Jimmy just looks her right in the eye and says I hope you have a fucking litter you whore Basically, all right dad does the best stage slap in the history of the world. It's a it's a upper cut. It's a upper cut stage slam and jingers flying like it man for secret of the ooze. He flies across the room.

It's crouching tiger hidden Mormon. It's amazing. Jimmy even got actually backhanded in the face or best special effects of any move that you guys have ever done before, if you wanted those two, it was great. It was a great backhand. So yeah, so hooray for physical abuse

and then I guess mom got so upset that she miscarried the baby. And somehow that's Jimmy's bold. Oh, yeah, that hit the kid. I don't get it. You're killing your sister, Jimmy. Killing your sister. And somehow that's Jimmy's bold Killing your sister Jimmy killing your sister you may dad hit you. Why did you make that hit you? And the angel kid goes back in her cage Yeah, I'm a module whatever the fuck so with that morbid turn We're gonna pause to pick our jaws back up, but before we do let me give back three the hard sell

Will Jimmy and Pam ever consummate their siblinghood? What the fuck is wrong with these people? When are they gonna sing a Hasseldega Ibuai? Find out the answer to these questions and more when we return for the reluctant conclusion of Saturday's warrior Alright kids time for bed. That's enough Saturday's warrior for tonight. Hey, Dad. Mom? Yes, honey. Well, we were thinking about the movie. And well, what if we have a little sister in heaven waiting to be part of our family? Oh, sweetie. That's a nice thought.

But I think we have all the family we need right now. Yeah, I wasn't really talking to you. No, son. I mean, he has a point, Dad. We don't really ask the oven if it's ready for bread. Yeah, is she the issue? Because we'll hold her down, Dad. We'll, what?

Fuck, Jesus, Brian. Yeah, man, way too far, but like, we will though, but still. Okay. All right, you take the left arm, you take the right. We should have a reality show. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha But it is who you could be dude dude. I'm also sucking your dick in this picture What oh yeah, I guess you are weird, but look at the fortitude in your brow Dude, I'm not gonna suck your dick. Well nobody said you were I haven't even mentioned it Look if you're getting hung up on what you're doing in the picture. I do have a few others

Okay, so this this one right here is a picture of you sucking my deck. Dude, dude, it's not about that. Look at the commitment to family you clearly have in your heart. Look at your chin. It's all forward, ready to face the future. I don't want to see this. This is not, I don't want to. Okay, okay, okay, fine.

One last picture. Is anybody sucking anybody's dick? I feel like you're really fucking no, but there's not there's not I swear okay Fine, let me see it there this this is what you could be This is a picture of me taking a dump on your chest a Confident dump on my chest confident dump on my chest And we're back for a reprise and when we last saw Emily she was being blasted out of a of a jina and bloody chunks all of her mom's temple Garments so now we're literally gonna start the next scene with the miscarried baby and pre heaven upset that she didn't get to be born Yeah, so the baby died. We have achieved dead baby in this-heaven upset that she didn't get to be born. Yeah. So the baby died.

We have achieved dead baby in this movie. Christian movie bingo. More than movie bingo is pretty fucked up. If this movie's any indication, that is what fucked up being a word right there. I pre-watched a couple of the movies that we've got coming up this month and dead baby is not a bad thing to have for more than movie bingo. Let me tell you. Well, the best is so there she is.

You're right. She's stuck in heaven now. She's like, fuck, I didn't get a body. This sucks. And whose fault is it everybody? The unfaithful kid in the family. Jimmy's. Yeah.

Jimmy, yes. Wheelchair, girls, fault. Well, keep in mind now, Jimmy promised to keep his parents fucking before he was born and he didn't keep his promise. I mean, promise you know he's probably taking cues from his little sister Julie but you know this is a family that does not keep their work on right right no shit can't trust those Mormons so like so now we got we cut to Jimmy and he's on the beach in San Diego some number of weeks or months or years later

they know indication whatsoever. After murdering his little sister. Yeah. He ran away from home because his mom got pregnant. Is that the plot here? Yep. Yes.

Okay. That is accurate. Yeah. But the good news though is that the black guy gets two lines in this scene. Yeah. That's three total. This is where I decided he was a little Wayne the way he says gonna wash away his sins

that was classic little way did they all fuck each other I like this part of the movie better well that's okay so it's all of it's Jimmy and all of his bad friends or whatever and it very much looks like we're just they just threw something on after the orgy in case the cops walked by yeah That is very much the sense you get from this scene and then he reads a letter from his sister who is in the hospital This is the wheelchair sister who's in the hospital with she has a name I was gonna give you shit if you didn't give him shit Pam whose bottom half doesn't work, is in the hospital with

wheelchairitis, like we don't know. She has all the usual brother promiseitis. Oh, but don't worry. She got a great present from her brother at home. Did you guys get this? Yes. a great present from her brother at home. Did you guys get this? Yeah. Center lizards and grasshoppers? That sounds fun. Like what a little prankster. Yeah. Yeah. Sending lizards and grasshoppers to a hospital. Oh, that's so serious. And Julie's gonna marry Peter. Yeah. Uh-huh. And then Pam gets so fucking close to saying a good message and then she takes a real hard-right turn into not a good message because she says freedom is knowing who you are as long as who you are is exactly what we want. Yeah right as long as that's a warm it yeah. Thought I was gonna say walking didn't you? Nope. It's such an asshole.

You thought I was gonna say walking. Fuck you. I did think a moment to think about that and I thought yeah if you asked a slave, you know, hey, do you know who you are? I sure do. You're free. Yeah, that's not how it works for us. That's just not having amnesia. Yeah.

And now we get, okay, so he's, his friends have left and he's sitting on the bench reading his sad letter from his hospital sister. And, and what is, what is she trying to say in that letter by the way just kind of like i wish you knew jesus like i did because it makes me happy you sure is trying to get that's it that's the message and again there is no solid floor to the crazy we are in freefall for this

entire movie so now we're gonna get and we've already obviously alluded to this it with the interstitial end and earlier this is the scene where Todd is drawing Jimmy it is one of the most awkward homosexual commands that I've ever seen in film and I've seen a lot so I lived in the village for four years and this is the weirdest gay come on I've ever seen yeah no you didn't say right. When you said he's drawing him, that implied that like he asked him to draw him. No, no, that is not what happened.

No, we have Jimmy reading this heart wrenching letter from his sister that's got him all banged up inside while a stranger draws him. And when Jimmy stands up to go away, this complete stranger says, sit your ass back down. I'm not done yet. It is weird. And he's very demanding throughout this whole scene. He keeps like going, turn to the left. Any more profile. Turn to the right.

Unbutton your top butt. You know it's who looks like you have a popsicle in your mouth. What is your shorts are covering your penis now? Trying to draw you? is that a deal breaker? All right, and I was I was so worried for who is this Todd right Todd's the one drawing This is the creepy art dude. Yeah. This is the original Heaven husband of Julie. Yeah, so anyway So I was really worried for Todd because we already saw what happened to Benji when he got his nose up in Jimmy's business

I was like oh, he's so far up up in his business he's about to get fucking murdered but no yeah jimmy just takes it jimmy had a little crush on him he didn't mind being a bottom for Todd yeah and so as their chat and he's going like oh hey my family we have so many kids and Todd wishes his mom's vagina had a turn style to and and and wishes that he could find jesus uh he actually says that like like yeah i guess he doesn't exactly say that, but he basically says, like, I should on the bench all the time, we're wishing that I was Mormon and I'm not, so like life could be worse.

Well, I'm staring at my masterpieces that I've drawn. Yeah. And so this is where we realize that he draws people's potential. Yes. And he shows them a picture and Jimmy goes, that's not me, and then we see the picture, and it's just a sketch of him. It's a perfectly just a picture of him.

And he's like, look at your brow. Look how determined you look. Look at your forehead. That's who you could be if we fucked. And I kept waiting for him to say, if we fucked, but he never... Well, I love to, like everybody's potential according to his drawings is exactly you only looking slightly up like 14 degrees That's your potential

If you were on your knees. Yeah, and how many times did Jimmy try to walk away from this creep like at least five and he was like no Wait, no means no Todd. What are you running away from? Tell me. Tell me more about it. You man. Here's like, you don't have a pencil. That's your dick in your hand. You're just wiping it back and forth across that paper. Don't come to a park in the clouds and tease a guy like that. But I'm afraid the last are going to have to die down, guys.

Because what happens next? Well, first of all, I want to point out that this is the first time in a movie i've ever seen uh... a film cut from the scene we're watching to the exact same scene right so haha because jimmy leaves the bench and then we cut to jimmy sitting on the bench i'm like guys you know even even like ed wood would like move over to the other side of that set well he lives in the park now don't make i see i got you go ahead so and then the hot cool out brunette chick shows up uh... for a second to

tell me needs to call his mom and then she's gone because f**k this movie right and then he goes to the payphone where it begins to fake rain and i wrote my notes all i cannot wait for this fake rain and indeed it is just some guy up in the rafters spraying a hose directly down on Jimmy. Not even on like a sprinkler setting too. It's just like a single jet of water

hitting him in the back of the neck. I was like, what? Said it to sprinkler Brian, fuck you, I'm fine. I'm fine. Can we also, yeah, it went from broad daylight to night. Like when the water started. So I think it was just like, how do we make it look like that you just turn that light

off yeah I got it got it I was gonna turn the light off we get the hose okay perfect and we learn the fucking pay phone and we learn that Pamela died from not having a Mormon twin anymore well right and that's that's my god you know here I wrote he needs to call home I bet Pam's dead because that would be perfectly insane. Yep. Yep. Those are my notes. She died of atheist brother disease.

Just what happens. We then cut to heaven where she's with her little sister and her little sister's like, how is Earth? And I wanted her so badly to be like, you know, not great. I couldn't walk. Really? Don't you love to dance? Yeah, I do do we talked about that

Well, but also I mean do more do Mormons go back to pre heaven when they die I Can't Maybe because there was still a sister there actually have to I don't know this you know what I don't think Mormons know either I feel like you need to know we know and ever thought this through because it's it's just no way to make it make sense you know I bet that's in the last half of doctrines and covenants I bet it explains the whole damn thing you're quittering and I gave up too soon oh and I we should point out that we're back in pre heaven which means that we now have to fucking shoot the

scene through a fucking petri dish again I mean civil shaper would tell you to wipe that shit off the lens, guys. This is ridiculous. But they were starting to conserve on dry ice. It wasn't nearly as, I don't know, smokey. Is that the word? Blacked out with more clarity than this shot. So now we get the the Jimmy on a bench song. Oh... i call it the most upbeat suicide song so it might not here too on the music here is is like is jimmy off time or is the guy with that bell just ringing a bell i mean is that not related to the ice cream man outside

for the whole of the tens of millions of i don't know about anything else. So we're all the special effects money went, yeah. So is this a song where suddenly he sees his cool friends and they're like, hey, do you want to have an awesome life? Come this way. And then it shows his dead sister and his never existing sister.

And they're like, no, over here. And I'm like, wait, so he is supposed to kill himself? I'm just going to show you what's going to make him to make. I don't get it. And then there's his family. They appear. Yep, they're there. They're wanting back.

And I wrote my notes. I want a fourth light to appear with that gay guy from the park so badly. Just like, Jamie. Oh, what's this? An abandoned movie theater? Jamie. Just like all the temptations start to appear and just like,

can we just start to go find me just to give E-Like Crazy Billionaire money? Well, you know, we have it. Unfortunately, they won't let you on Patreon. They won't let you put a billion dollars as one of your goals. Yeah, and you need to start Key and ruined it for every month. Now, honestly, I gotta be honest, through this whole scene, I had no ability to think or write anything because the entire time I'm just screaming at my fucking computer down

and another don't rhyme. That's all I could handle. So now, just to make sure that you understand how dark we're being we're gonna go to pams funeral everyone's wearing black and Jimmy were a black leather jacket for the occasion. Yeah. I actually wrote you douchebag it's your twin sister put a suit on. Gay rusted gypsy pirate biker cost more appropriate at this point and they had one. He had access to one and then of course we we have the joyous funeral hug

Everybody's so happy that Jimmy showed up. They kind of forgot about the I wanted them to trample her grave like knock over the Wait one second I got to take a shit I'm so happy to see you, Jimi. Oh, that's one more. Everything's better with jokes. Thank you. And meanwhile, you guys remember, Wallet and the Fat Guy? Well, apparently so did the writer just now because apparently they're back in the movie. The Mormons.

Yeah. And what are you talking about Fat Guy? Because the first thing he says is, why don't we have any baptisms i've been fasting for so long no you have not sir who you have fast before you walked out on stage dude yeah right christian bail you a sandwich ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha depressed because they haven't managed to baptize a single person it's almost like they've been sent on a useless stupid fucking mission that wasted two years of their lives. But the fact is not giving up because he's taking every

opportunity to put his face on Walli stick. I mean there's like nine times where he's like what what if what if my character just hugged up on your leg and started grinding against it. Guys we need to just go through the script no more of this body in profits. It's not working. We're running out of film. We are running out of literal film. We have eight hours of you guys wrestling that never turned into a scene. So for the rest of the scene, if you imagine that Wally and the Fat Man, we're somehow trying to find a third man to join their threesome, right? Yeah, you get this going now at this moment

While I was just like we're never gonna find the next guy. We just can't make it happen But the fat man says well What about Todd over there on the bench and then I believe his response was I've seen him every day But he isn't my type yeah something like that and i was like wait i was only in my head joking about the whole three-sem thing but now i'm not sure what's going on what are they doing now i i got a point this out because this is one of my favorite things that's

ever happened this is an audio note again the pod gastronomy coming out when they go over to talk to tade about more menism and try to sell them on their church or whatever. The two guys, the two actors start whispering because no one knew how to reduce the audio in post. Because like their sounds, their shuffling is still the same volume and they're going, hey, there were Mormons and we'd like you to join the Mormon church it's fucking hilarious but they also couldn't let you hear what they were actually saying it's been fucking crazy yeah exactly this is where we get the profilitization montage and this

montage is everything i ever wanted they hand him the book and he looks at it and he's like oh this doesn't seem like bullshit then they use the fat guy's stomach as a projection screen that's not the stuff actually amazing they for dog one his cigarettes uh-huh and i wrote yeah smokers love that right no he gets into it he's just like let me stomp on some

yeah i'm not gonna say that i hate you too and also by the way we are three quarters of the way through and everybody who is listening to this episode that didn't see this movie is not even aware that Todd has no chin We have not even mentioned his chinlessness No, it is something you remember that load you got her face eaten off by a monkey. Yeah, that's yeah This is what the monkey was going for the monkey saw this movie like she had Saturday's warrior playing and he was like Oh, your face is all wrong. Let me fix that for you. That's why you got to shoot him. You got to shoot him early. Imagine like skin going from lip to nipple. Yeah, that's that face. Yeah, like a light bulb.

Yeah, like, yeah, light bulb. There it is. Light bulb head. And by the way, um, back when Nexus was happening, we're up in New New York I sat through this Mormon pitch in Central Park just so I could get a free book of Mormon I know you did and I never got to watch a movie projected onto a fat guy's belly That's it I could be Mormon by now. I probably murdered several more unborn children since then like that's just sloppy And also this is when they get so super excited that they reprise the ritual disembowelment song and I just had this thought this actually occurred to me during the interstitial I bet

what happened is that the fucking writer looked at the saurus under sacrifice and I bet that's how they found it. He's like, fuck that rhymes perfect. No guys actually they they just got married. Did you guys not know that? That's what happened at the end of that song. Oh Yeah, yeah, they're a thing now. So and we'll find that out later. Yeah, we will find a layerport scene. Yeah, these two are yeah, they're they're Mormon married. I Okay, all right that makes this whole fucking movie make sense. Yeah yeah i think they call it temple married and if you disagree with me send all of your emails to you i all right you know um and so now we cut back over to july's room she's getting ready for her her wedding but apparently she's getting cold feet she can't marry peter well she's holding off for a little no illusions

right right sir i will keep that hair standing up for you, lady. When you're sure Peter, I lost track of the dude's truly might or might not be marrying. So yeah, I don't, I don't know. She is as moment where she's sitting in her room crying and they come out and they're like, hey, are you and I'm like sad about your sister dying? And she's like, no, no, no, it's about my wedding.

And it's like, wow, I guess you don't have that. We got over that by the time Jimmy got there with his leather jacket. Yeah. And when her parents ask her why she has, like, you sure it's not just doubts, which, what do you mean just doubts? Like, doubts are enough. But her response is no, it's so much deeper than that.

And I leaned in like, go on. Deeper. And that was it. That's all we got. It's deeper. I was, I believe me. As soon as she said deeper, I was, I was hooked to, but now I kind on and that was it. That's always a deeper. I was, I was, it believed me, as soon as she said deeper, I was, I was hooked too, but now I kind of think that was her way of saying,

mom and dad, once you go black. There's a second G spot, mom, I've been trying to tell you, it's a bet, it's near the pelvis. I can't describe it. I can't describe it. So now we got to Todd He's now three-fourths of the way through the Book of Mormon and suddenly it all makes sense to him

He looks up and he goes oh I see I was alive before I was alive So I just curious in your experience, David's that how how it works? How far in were you before you realized that you were preborn? It was something that that that moment where he looked up and said I never knew that I could he looked up and said, I never knew that I could know the truth. And you just saw him just fucking mentally orgasming. Mad, it was, I happen at least three times during the show. Yeah.

It's something else. What once you, what's, if you didn't, if you never really, like once you hear how the submarines worked, you know, 3,000 years ago, it's like, oh my god, the Hebrew sound. It sounded so bad. Here how the submarines worked It sounded so bad, but now that I'm reading it whoa Mind blown and this is where I realized he looked like one of those like Snapchat filters We get to blend two faces, but it's of an ass and Patrick's ways Patrick's Wazie. That is exactly how you treat Wazie. You've wanted a name for him this whole fucking time, David.

It's Assie's Wazie. That's him. That was it. It kind of looks like Anthony Edwards transitioned into a lesbian kupa troupe. Is there a little bit of that going on too? A little of that too. So now we get our 16th song. And though, it's not the Mario theme unfortunately.

This is the one where Julie and Todd are now singing from different coasts and he's wandering into her bedroom and she's wandering into the park because they're just on a stage together or whatever. And I wrote my notes just, this is the worst it's been. I don't think it can be worse. It was, that's what I'd written to my notes just this is the worst it's been. I don't think it can be worse. It was I just I that's what I'd written Amino's at that point but yes, it made it seem like these two knew each other at this point, right?

Like twice now we've seen them in the same song You think they have something to do with each other. We find out later. No, that's not the case Yeah, they have never once met no, yeah, so this is all just like this is their soul singing Yeah, yeah, because their're soul mates, you see. Soul. That's what it's all about. Yeah, there's no soul and they're singing, but they are soul mates. So yes, that is a dead definitely. You do need to point that out. No soul. No, no, just just the black guy and he only gets to sing Backup. So now we go. He has a name. It's a little Wayne. It's We go has a name little Wayne it's

So many ex-mos are listening to this show for the first time there's Oh, no, they probably don't know what They're more than a movie. They don't know not a lot of watch roots that has black people in it so They're called Lamanites sir. Thank you. I wasn't Lamanites playstation. Come on So so now we cut to Julie. She's at the airport. She's apparently now she's broken Peter's heart and she wants to rebound fuck Wally when he shows up at the airport I guess. Yeah, yeah, but not that bad. And Harold's there and Harold basically walks up and he's like, hey, you're, uh, I'm interested in taking Wally's sloppy seconds or Peter's or thirds or whatever it is. Look, what I'm saying is I'll scrape out the tray at the end of the buffet. I'll take Harold like breaks the bro code hard

Oh, doesn't mean he just like he sees her and he's like wait you're my best friends You're that girl. He's in love with one of fuck Immediately Harold those important truth come is the best loop yeah uh... you know what he is a good body uh... uh... just just get it right yeah

it needs a lot of his just per heat in the oven for his friend walling yeah there you go well and okay so like she's there to meet him at the airport apparently so is her that's the eighties Josh guy that was trying to suck a stick to the rest of the movie because i guess he got done with his mission two weeks before wallie but wallie has a surprise he's don't forget they are married now I already told you guys they're totally more than married well well yeah I will be validated yes yes this

relationship will be consummated before this movie is over but we don't know that yet he tell or at least he doesn't want to tell julie that you know because i guess he's not all the way gay uh... walley so it like maybe still wants a little pussy on the side i guess i don't know but it he says well i'm here because uh... walley said he's bringing a surprise and i'm assuming that he meant you know his man meat but they they don't really get into that

so then he arrives at the airport and we know this because the lady i'm sorry i'm laughing thinking about it no this is how it works back in the eighties i'm sure you remember david this is how airports work the fucking woman at the airports is i was paid to make this announcement by a guy who's on a fucking airplane until just now, like, what, how did he, did he just throw money down on the way or something? 991 America.

3 9 11 America. I also want you to remember, the only person he's expecting to be there is his fat fuck friend, little bitch boy. He is not expecting anyone else, so he prepares an advance calls an airport finds out who's gonna be on staff at that gate and then pays for them to say Here comes the most humble man ever That is what that that is what that is yes here comes the humble motherfucker it's fantastic i was like you do not know what that word means no marzipio harrick air a preset none of them so now this is where david is

totally vindicated in his marriage uh... uh... suggestion here because when he gets to the airport july runs the hug him he goes right by or throws his arms around her old oh he pushes that bitch's arms right by she gets a nut yeah no no he dodges her like a running back yeah she gets a straight arm and I guess he brought both nose Mormonism that's all that's all that well done well done and I think it's from the 80s too is it so so apparently I And I didn't know this David you'll have to fill us in on this when you when you when you

Baptize someone on your mission you bring them home with you like a dog It's also validating my threesome in the park also validating my threesome in the part. Oh, right. Right. It's all coming to get a surprise for you. So just real quick, I'm curious. Do like the successful missionaries show up at the airport with like hundreds of African people when they, that they've happened.

They usually take a boat in that case. Just want to JB smooth to step off to the tarmac. You know, bring them home. They would probably get a lot more converts if they opened with get a green card. Yeah, right. That's right. That's quite of it.

Let's take you back to wow. You guys all really got interested in this book. That is still eating it. That guy is still eating it out. Take it a santa le casite. So, okay. So now this is where like Todd and Julie see each other for the first time.

Now these were the guys that started moving off. This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. Well, yeah, if you try to imagine this in the real world, yeah, but we started this whole movie off with the two of them in love and having or whatever they haven't seen each other until this moment, they lock eyes. Now, Wally, meantime has been like, oh, it's the woman that I love and she's back from me. Are you here for me? And she's like, yeah, I'm here to love love you again and then she sees that she's like you know

what never mind hold on hold on something about this lack of chin and connolly and guess i feel like this is going to work yeah well the best is that wali actually introduces Todd right he's like Todd here's my fiance yes woman i'm going to's Todd's like, get the fuck out of my way. I'm going to fuck this woman and I don't care if you watch. I'm going to reel this woman in front of you, Wally. In front of you. I just wrote, you guys are going to go ahead and fuck in the airport bathroom, aren't you? The closest you are going to get to this pussy is if I let you suck my dick when I'm done.

That is what Todd's face looks like. And Harold goes, okay, suck my dick when I'm done. That is a touch made with Todd's face. And here I go, okay, I'm in, I'm in. And I wanna point out, I wanna point out a terrifying thing about this because this seems like a crazy scene, but this is actually a problem for Mormons because like this is a belief in Mormonism that you have these pre-heaven soulmates.

And so Mormon men stalk Mormon women all the time because they believe this is true and like murder them and don't leave them alone and follow them all over the country and all over the world Not necessarily in that order. And a lot of it apparently originates like at least in the modern understanding with this movie. Oh really? Yeah, like it's been in the church doctrine and church ideas but it really first got propagated for the current generation, which is super problematic in this movie, because a lot of young members are like, oh my gosh, I felt that way when I saw the girl in my third grade math class, I'm going to follow you around

for fucking ever. I think the most disturbing thing about that fact is that a significant portion of the Mormon popular saw this movie. I was pretty terrifying. Thanks for the buzz, kill guys. I don't feel like laughing anymore. Yeah, right, right? Okay, well, it's sad.

You've got a really picturesque, scared Mormon girl. It makes the whole thing laugh. Marshall and a square. Marshall and a square. Yeah, put both ends up in the square bitch. There you go. All right, I'm back. I'm back here.

Now, of course, this is also the scene where, like, Wally is heartbroken again, because apparently Julie basically just showed up to rub it in, but that's when Harold takes his chance to drag Wally off and fuck him in a closet. Yeah, he's like, we can be roommates, it be why you. And it's literally dragging him. Yes, literally dragging him off stage.

Yeah, kicking and screaming is like, no, I'll do what you're getting the dick now. So what did he say about screaming. It's like, no, I'll do it. You're getting the dick now. What did he say about her? He's like, she's history. Come on, while I she or Wally, she's history. Let's go. Yeah, he's just like finally. I got all women out of the way. It's me and you. I actually think now that I think about it, maybe the fat man planted Todd in the park. Hmm. Yeah. I'm part of his best friend. Well, you can put Joker from Batman. Well, even better because they did hint at the fact earlier in the movie that he remembers Wally from pre-heaven. So maybe he remembered Todd and Julie too.

I mean, they were in that scene as well. So yeah, he's been, he's been set this whole thing up. Yeah. So now we cut back to pre-heaven where apparently Emily is finally gonna get a chance to live Because 52 year old mom is having her eighth baby and I wanted so bad crazy billionaire money I remake this and when she has the little sister in the yellow dress She just comes out like with one eye hanging out of her skull and she's like

one eye hanging out of her skull and she's like me kill me kill me blackout I was confused though because it's like okay wait I have just forcing your way through that husk of the joiner and it didn't work and now you get to be born again like did mom miscarried before was that not a I don't know she sucked the egg back up into her sack and then she shot it down with the here's the thing though here's the thing though if you follow the the theology that this movie presents this movie has a very pro

abortion message because what they're saying is when you abort the baby they just go back to pre-heaven and wait until the next vagina is available right so i like i i don't think i don't think they meant that but i like that take on it it is keep going until the times right It's fine. Same soul you're good. Yeah I just wanted Jimmy to walk in holding hands with like the gay biker pirate and Emily dies again all the sudden So yeah, so mom is going into labor

We cut back down to the Dougher's living room and mom's going into labor and it's one of those you know uh... i'm gonna have the baby this second kind of thing so they don't bother getting the car they have to she can have the baby right there on the couch oh no don't let dad get away with this yeah she she shakes he's asleep on the couch she shakes him away and says i just had a really bad contraction it's responses okay i'm sorry did you just write the book back to sleep.

I love that guy. Yeah, right backhand, and he knows that. Any, any, any kid that fuck out of a robot cop before he was Robo cop, he shot his hand and everything. So he is Robo cop. And then, and then, okay, so yeah, now they're gonna deliver the baby right there on a couch, which is pretty fucking awkward for the, for the Sun that's gonna have to like

Plug shit out of his mom's vagina, but whatever Luckily the power goes out so he doesn't have to see what he's doing. He just feels around in there Yeah, at this point mom's vagina is just a gray slip-in slide And they had no idea none of the writers knew what to write in this scene. So they're like, well, what did your wife say? And so they wrote in, you did this to me. She screamed. And it's of course, it's one of those nice easy four second deliveries because of obviously

because that that that Vag has been widened out by seven and a half kids or six and a half in a miscarriage. And I honestly kind of thought a five-year-old was gonna pop out. Like I was a jerk. Yeah. I was a jerk. But what actually popped out was way more disturbing because listen, I have two kids.

I know what they look like when they first come out. That's really look like a fresh baby. Oh, that is too real. Usually movies get like a seven-year-old and they're like, here a fresh baby. Oh, that's too real. Usually movies get like a seven year old, and they're like, here's the baby. That was a real newborn. I don't know how they are. Someone hung out at a BYU hospital,

and was like, can we borrow this for just a minute? Thanks. You know what, though, my guess is when you're Mormon, somebody always has a spoo, spare newborn for your musical, you know? There was somebody in the crew that just popped a baby yeah right right yeah and then we cut to Todd and Todd has a sword and then the movie does he it's not a sword no this isn't like a little rapier this is fucking he man raising it for the power of grace

go I want him so badly to get hit by lightning and be just in his underwear and then get fucked by Todd over the credits Just Todd comes over in a bad skeletal mask Harold comes in in a snarf costume and just can't stop watching Sniff, sniff, sniff! And that's it. It all wraps up there. Would anyone care to take a stab at what the moral of this story was? Every time you jerk off, someone in heaven has to walk back slowly with an old lady being like, I don't know, man, it was like a big pillow.

It was like a teetill big pillow and there was a giant choking himself and saying David Smolly David Smolly it wasn't great I don't think I want to go back to that and then I'll stay up here in this vape shop all right so now as we've already indicated, somebody out there in the universe saw this movie and thought to themselves holy shit do we need to do that again? Because yes there was actually a version of this movie that was re-released this year and as terrifying as that is it did get me excited about all the possibilities of like terrible old religious movie remix so to wrap the thing up today i want to ask

you this of all the shit that we've reviewed what movie would you most like to see remade with modern effects and who would you cast okay well we haven't watched it yet but i want to go with the ten commandments remade with ten new jute and crazy gun guy super political yeah no he would fit right into that rolling out i'm gonna go with loving the bad man with bill cosby

uh... i would like that over and over and over and over soo uh... with the jello put it well that's what it feels like i don't know if I can talk that he's fantastic. I would have to say if what was it if footman tire you what will horsemen do?

Horses do something. Yeah that one. That movie directed by Quentin Tarantino. So many like just Christian slaughter scenes that just were not done well enough and then also they like went all in on the wrong scene right so there were some where it was like uh we're gonna shove bamboo in his ears and they would show that but then it was like shoot your mom and they didn't show that so I was like yeah yeah the right I think Samuel Jackson could be the mean Nazi slash comedy guy whatever you know Castro look like a bitch to you come on you guys see it great to build your money let's do that that movie needs to be made well David I've got to say we've asked a lot of people on this show before

and honestly like usually I feel kind of bad I felt really bad when I watch this fucking movie so I cannot thank you enough or taking a take of the time out and uh... i'd like to thank you advance for not you know like mailing the bombs and stuff for well i got admit it was uh... got it was awful to watch it took me like a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I didn't just hit play. I had to take a lot of breaks. And so yeah, the whole time, I really was just pretty pissed at all of you. But then we got to record together and I think it kind of,

I'm going to say we're almost even. We're almost even, because this was a lot of fun. This is like a debate from the atheism movie where he's like, I hated you. I cried. I was a bit scared of killing you. And now I'm here on this podcast. Next time let's legitimately do something live, right? Let's do a mystery science theater to one of these and I'm in this watch by yourself and take notes business.

Oh, I just, this hardcore. And if you don't mind just to be official here, it was a coincidence that right after you started watching this movie, quit podcasting all together, right? That's not entirely our fault Yeah, I'm just gonna edit in you saying yes one way or the other some glad you made it. He's oh my god I could blame it on you And thought of that and thought of that angle. Yeah, it's a popular thing to do in podcasting these days And I didn't retire from podcasting. Yeah, it's a popular thing to do in podcasting these days. And I didn't retire from podcasting.

I just retired from hosting. Oh right, right. Yeah, professional podcasting guest now. Yeah, exactly. Awesome, awesome. Well, thanks again, bro. And while that does it for our review of Saturday Warrior, that's not going to do it for our episode just yet,

because we still need to sucker you back in next week. So tell us, Eli, what's on deck? We got a Mormon movie double feature. Yes we do. Most requested movie for Mormon month has been Johnny Lingo. The story of a peasant girl who gets bought for eight cows and that's a good thing. Now of course the problem with this one is it's like

25 minutes long. So, we felt like we felt the need to tack on a second movie as well. And that is video or the... Cypher in the snow. It appears to be a cautionary tale about Mormon parenting and how your kiddle die if you're not Mormon enough. Or something. So, we added a little bit of that in this week's movie as well. Yeah.

So I guess with all that to look forward to and bring episode 42 to a merciful close, but not before I thank the Malif Lewis, David Michael for hanging out with us tonight. If you'd like to hear more of his sexy voice, check out the archives, I guess, of my book of Mormon. You'll find a link to the show notes for this episode. Once again, huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that helped make the show go. If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash God awful. And there by earn early access to every episode, you can also help us a ton by leaving us a five-star review on iTunes.

And by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, the skating atheist and the skeptic grad available on iTunes, Stitcher, and Wherever else podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email God awful movies at gmail.com. All the music used in this episode was written and performed by Ryan Slotnikov-Evil Drafts on Mars and was used with permission. If you like what you hear, hear more by following the link on the show notes to this episode. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for Heathen right in Eli Bosnick. I'm no illusions promise and to work hard to earn another chunk next week until then we'll

leave you with a breakfast club close. Spend me a little more, and I'll be gone. Emily kept getting miscarried until she finally got sent to a lesbian couple by accident. The lady with the clipboard got fired. About damn time. Eventually, Julie found Todd's homoerotic sketchbook and set out to break Wally's heart yet again. Shelly gave up on religion, and like all ex-mormons just got crazy super upsettingly world shatteringly hot and then friended me on Facebook like whatever and I'm like oh fuck you shelly fuck you like I had a goddamn spam bot over here

but you're marshmallow making slightly damn it's fine I don't remember. I think it's the second youngest sister. Yeah, you could probably cut all that out. It wasn't as fun now that I said it. Anyway. You know what? It happens so often in Mormonism. You're like, oh, this is a fun fact.

And then you say it. Nope, no, no es una cosa muy buena. ¡No, no, no, no, no, no! Ok, movimos. ¿No sabes la de planazos que hay este verano en Guésville Parkesur? Con ciertas obsesiones con DJs, clases de yoga, talleres con martes y actividades con niños... ¿Te apuntas?