God Awful Movies - 422: The Rebirth of Buddha

Episode Date: September 19, 2023

This week, Michael Marshall joins us for an atheist review of The Rebirth of Buddha, another anime from the lunatics over at the Happy Science Cult. --- Pick up your QED tickets here: https://qedcon.org/ Check out more from Marsh on Be Reasonable and Skeptics with a K If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

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It was the most verbose possible way of saying live laugh love is what it was. Yes. I feel like if I'd have skipped this scene and then you asked me to give a book report to presentation on it with me not having seen it, I'd have been this scene and then you asked me to give a book report presentation on it with me not having seen it. Yeah, I'd have been able to guess this verbatim like, You nailed it! It is true, not darkness, enlightenment, heart, true self-truth. You could put this scene together with the responses everyone's ever given to a direct question on BeReasonable,

so I feel like that's kind of fitting. ever given to a direct question on Be reasonable, so I feel like that's kind of fitting. But not awful movie. Movie. Movie. Movie. Movie. Movie.

Movie. Movie. Movie. Movie. Welcome back to The Gamecast. We're at each week. We sample another selection from Christian cinema because otherwise we wouldn't. I'm your host, Noah Luzionz.

Heath is off this week, but sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bostic Eli. How are you this fine? Afternoons, sir I and fantastic Noah and I'm pleased to say I am not the reborn Buddha. Oh, what a coincidence and also of course joining us for One ocean to my east northeast is the host to be reasonable the co-host of skeptics with a K and the editor of the skeptic magazine, the good one, Michael Marshall Marsh. Welcome back, sir. Hey guys, great to be here. I am confused. Now, I don't know if that's confused because I'm very busy at the moment. There's a lot of stress going on. We've got a big event coming up. So I don't know if that is what's confusing me, but I sat through two hours of this movie and I don't know if that is what's confusing me, but I sat through two hours of this movie, and I don't know what has happened to my life

to get to this point. It is. No, and I don't know why life has been since then. This movie has materially affected my ability to correctly understand the world around me. That's how impactful this movie is. You're sliding doors moment. It is an existential crisis of a movie.

Yeah, so tell us, Mars, what existential crisis will we be breaking down today? So we watched the rebirth of Buddha. It's the story of, I think, an aspiring young journalist who sees ghosts and can possibly sometimes predict the future, that's unclear, who has to save all of Japan

from an evil cult, a tsunami, and possibly aliens. And so to do that, she lets her much older boyfriend groom her into joining a cult, but a good cult to its fine. Yes, it's happy science. It's happy science, so it's all of that. It really is. And that always the way.

We should emphasize that like, these are never been particularly subtle movies, but this is the closest these enemies have gotten to. You should join our cult. Yes. Here's some literature. Right, right. Put it to set and Eli how bad was this movie? Well, if you love the full on wackado craziness of the happy science cult, but you're sad not enough of it has been a direct

vanity project of their accountant ass-looking leader. You love this movie. Yeah, the good guy cult leader in this movie. And yes, that is a thing was all but named like fucking shmoryuho shmokama. And it's so stupid. All right, so is there anything you want to dominate? This one from being the best to be in the worst act? Oh, yeah, I'm going to take the easy one.

Best worst Australian. Hell yeah. There is an Australian character in this movie. And the accent, the accent is so astonishingly bad. It's basically me when I used to get to pre-read the skits for this podcast, and then I realized way too late that Eli's making me do an accent I'm gonna try and just do it on the fly. It's basically that that's who this Australian character is. It's incredible No, I just when I we came across this guy in the notes. I wrote hey, Marsh

Did you do the accent work in this movie? You have to tell me if you did it's like being a cop you have to tell us Yeah, so I went with best worst angels. The animation isn't great through most of this film, but man, a bunch of angels show up at the end and make it look great. Make everything else about it look okay. These angels are so bad. They change animation style. Oh god, yes. Yeah. Yeah. They bought some 3D models and they were getting as much use out of them as they possibly could because they were not they were not cheap. Exactly. No, no, this was going to come out in 2003 or 2009 or something. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And I'm going to go with best worst drawing of yourself. So as we hinted, the

protagonist of this movie is a schmoryu schmokama. And go go to the picture of this dude and then you see how he is represented in this movie, it is Tinder dating profile levels. 100% he is cat fishing us with this movie. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. All right. Well, there's a lot of stay with me in the notes ahead. So we're going to take a quick break while you prepare yourself

But we'll be back in a flash with all the undiluted insanity of the rebirth of Buddha Hey, podcast listener. Did you know that only 22% of Americans speak a language other than English at home Embarrassing and in front of Michael Marshall no less. That's right But that's all right. We're prepared to forgive you and you can learn a new language with Babel. Why Babel? Why Babel? Because it works.

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get 55% off your Babel subscription, but only for our listeners at Babel.com slash awful. So get 55% off at Babel.com slash awful. That's spelled B-B-E-L.com slash awful. Rules and restrictions may apply. Babel, because your monolingualism is embarrassing us in front of Michael Marshall. Alright everyone, welcome to the first production meeting of the rebirth of Buddha. Hooray!

Wait, wait, wait a second. Why don't we have Japanese accents? Because some of us would like to keep our jobs, Marsh. Okay, yep, got it, Ferris. There you go. Anyway, today we are honored to be joined by the leader of our organization, Ryoho Akawa. We. Yeah.

Thank you, guys. Thank you very much. So I was kind of saving this as a fun surprise, but since I or rather a pretty direct representation of me appears in the movie, I actually already had the animators work up a little something and wanted to show it to you. Oh, wonderful. Yeah, yeah, here we go. And here it is. Oh, I'm sorry, that's, that's you. Yeah, yeah, that's me in the movie. Wow, they even got my hair. Oh, you and the drawing both have hair. Yeah, that is, that is true. Mm-hmm. And my chin, my chin, I was a little nervous, but they really nailed it. Nailed it. Yeah. That's what I was going to say. Nailed it. Yes. Sorry. Uh, yes. So, you know, how I've given you all my worldly belongings because I believe

that you're the reincarnated Buddha Shiva and the great spirit Naurna's Yarmu. Yarmu, yeah, absolutely. Right. So believe me, when I say this is a bridge too far, I'm saying a lot here. You do not look like this picture. You look nothing like this picture. You look like a problematic drawing of the Komodo dragon. I've gotten that a lot.

Okay, but I mean, guys, I'm also white in the drawing, so... Yeah, but that's still more realistic than how handsome you are. Yeah, no, that's fair. That's fair. This... And we're back for the breakdown, and we're going to start this anime in an all-girl school, like most of the anime's we've watched, I would guess, but that's where the similarity is going to end. Yeah.

I was on the lookout for tentacles. Let me tell you. Not in this act, at least. So, yeah. So, we're going to meet Sayako, who she's our protagonist, and she's having these visions in school of getting hit by a train and then gets in trouble for not paying attention in class. Yeah, even hit a visions, it's a, she's got a very non-plus reaction to it on coming train. It's not like fear of terror. It's like, no, train.

Yeah, which is not how I'd react to a train coming at me, even in a vision, I think. Right? No, I mean, if you've ever gotten on a Japanese train, Mars, you know that getting hit by one is a lot more pleasant. So I got, I got it. I had a lovely time with this, you can send. I want to have a bad word about them. Okay. Mark Scott squished into another person at 90 miles an hour and was like, effective. I love this. This is good. So after a class, she's talking to her friend about having this, this vision. And of course,

in classic, happy science cult style, the subtitles don't match the dub, right? So I have to like spend 15 minutes screaming about that fucking with my OCD. Yeah, again, I know we've talked about this before when we've done these movies, but the question always comes up, who is in contact with who in the process

of making these movies, right? Because the animators aren't in touch with the voice actors who almost never know they're making a cult movie. The subtitle people aren't in touch with the voiceover people. It just seems like there needs to be a project manager for this thing.

Too much compromise. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I actually, I know what happened. It's that the original scripted as film was translated from golden plates, but then someone didn't believe

the translation, confiscate the script. And then the subtitles had to be re-translated from the whole place. Oh, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah. So yeah, so, but Sayako has to rush off to finish her article about an actress that the movie is going to pretend matters, but doesn't, right? And the thing is, she's very, very panicky about this article, but this article is the Dillest article one could possibly ever imagine. Literally, her headline for the article is, actress expresses enthusiasm about her new show. It's like, this is not making the front page.

I just can't it now. Wait, at least until she scabs and goes back on the air with her right now. That's a story you could come. Yeah, so yeah, but we watch her write her article at length. And then from her like standing up and stretching and going, yep, got all that writing down. Suddenly we get this incredibly cinematic title screen for the rebirth of Buddha.

Yeah, you know how like usually these screens are preceded by like a fucking bone turning into a firearm or a car exploding and Vin Diesel thinking his family is dead. She's just like, a good day of typing. The wildest off-tone transition at all. Just like, yes. Right. So, okay. So the next morning we meet her family having breakfast because of course put that on your fucking bingo card. We need shuntah her little brother. Fuck yeah, this kid rocks. He's like a Pokemon antagonist and he will not take any of this

universe destroying movie seriously at any moment. Even when he has a demonic goiter, it's pretty fucking crazy. We also, we meet her parents and there's this throwaway line where they're like, Hey, dad, are you losing weight? And he's like, Oh, you know, working all these nights. He's gonna turn out he's dying of cancer because atheism, right? Right. Yes. Yeah.

We don't spend a lot of time worrying about that though. No. It's just a very throwaway thing. Oh, yeah. The conclusion of that plot thread is so fucking fabulous. We'll get to it. We will. We will.

So, yeah, no, it actually just leaps in front of a train to its own death, which is what happens next to the movie. The news comes up and they're like a very important reporter committed suicide by train last night at the Sushinslush train station, right? Yeah. And do that. Would the news lead with the suicide of a reporter? Like, it's leading with his death, like it's the death of Princess Diana or something.

Yeah. Like it's on all the news that he's just a guy who, like, a reporter who committed suicide. I don't think that would be the toughest all-read in all of Japan for the day. Right. Yeah. No, next up in the news, the plot. Yeah. So, and when we get to the school, like, she goes to goes to school we get to the school all the kids are talking about the reporter

Suicide right because that's the big gossip the high school Right, and she knew him so when she walks in the room They're like we weren't talking about your friend Kelly himself. We were talking Something else. Okay, this is such a great fucking moment It was almost my best worst because we get to see what happens when happy science cult writers try to imagine, you know, natural stuff to have been talking about. And everybody's like, you have to go from us hiding something. The feds are part of the team. I'm a big dude.

What are teenage girls just sort of gossiping about? Probably advocacy of I'm a Mexican child. Yeah. I'm feeling Japanese economy. High on the list of things to talk about for a 15 year old school girl. I did wonder at this point because we already had the school girl right in the story about the actress. She seemed to have like she had all the porcelain on the actress on the wall.

I thought, okay, this is going to be about her like having a crush on this actress. It's going to be like her coming of age story, coming out of kind of understanding. So I thought, and then she starts talking like like looking at this suicide, okay, is this movie gonna be about an impressionable psychic possibly lesbian aspiring journalist who cracks the case of a spate of suicides? Is that what this is gonna be? And if not, can I pitch that premise somewhere?

Because that's a film, right? Right, right. But yeah, but just in case you start thinking this is some kind of game or movie, they established that she has a boyfriend and also he is in college and she's in high school So in case you weren't uncomfortable. That's gonna be a plot line cool and awesome Also this movie definitely hedges its pedophile bets by being like where in college in high school? We choose Not to say. Yeah.

Yeah. See, I didn't think this was going to change the sexuality movie. I thought, okay, she's got a boyfriend. All I'm saying is he's got an act three kind of boyfriend. He's very much an act one boyfriend. All right. Yeah. And there'll be a journey going on.

That's where I was predicting. It didn't go there, but that's what I was predicting. No. And also, so we established here that she could also see smoke demons, right? She looks at one of her friends when they were talking about her boyfriend and she can see a smoke demon rising out of her going like, why don't I have a boyfriend? You lucky piece of shit, you know? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. That's the demon has absolutely stolen the script from one of Eli's better help ads in that internal negative monologue. All right. For sure. Yeah. But don't worry. Like if you're confused about what those demons are, what they're doing, her powers to see them will matter incredibly little,

like shockingly little for the rest of the film. They'll disappear and never actually affect the plot as far as I can tell you. So, okay, so we cut to some boring history class later, and we find out that she can also see the ghosts of history rising out of her text books. So I wasn't sure that's what it was. It looked like you just see like black smoke floating around.

I thought, oh, she's got those little black flow to things that you get in your eyes, but like dialed up toilet. That's what she goes with. Yeah, sure. Just a really bad case. And there's just a lot of historical dead people in her classroom after the site. Exactly. Yeah, no, I get it. Because this posits that like the books are full of the pain of the stuff we write in them,

because gosh, that would suck to be a little life. That's all I'm saying. So that book is probably really gloomy on the shelf at every bar. It's a no-boss what I'm saying. Well, the other thing is so weird to me is that like everyone has a copy of the same book. So wouldn't we hear the same months, the same ghost speaking from several different books at once? Why is it just hers that we're hearing? I don't know. All I was thinking was if the things that we write can feel pain, we absolutely need to euthanize Eli's misspelled notes. Nothing that the fact he could have to

suffer like that. So yeah, but she freaks out and she rushes to the nurse's office and we get her in the nurse's office and then she runs through the school out into the town screaming because she's seeing ghosts, right? Right. And I was just glad to see that the Japanese nurse uses the same technology as the American nurse, which is you can lie down for a little while if you would. So yeah, but then she winds up in this train station and she sees the suicide reporters ghost wandering along the tracks. Being very whiny and annoying.

Right. Like if he was like that and realized he was not a great loss to the world of Japanese terms. Yeah, but I really like this movie's concept of ghosts because this movie's concepts of ghosts, spoiler is that they're just like a minute after their own death trying to get people to pay attention to them because they're injured, which is way funnier than ghost mythology. We currently have it, right? How are we for all eternity? You guys are all on cell phones. Why is no one calling 911? It's gonna be so, okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, be a good Samaritan anymore, they make it like there was three, it was

actually three thousand. The three thousand and first, that's the one. But of course, she's the only one who can actually hear the reporter ghost. So he grabs her and he pulls her under the tracks just as a train is coming. And then suddenly we're in a court where kind of Moto, the reporter, the ghost reporter, is being asked by a tribunal of judges to justify his suicide. Yeah. And I was like, okay, what a weird like fictional thing to invent like a three judge court seems

insane to me. And then I googled it. And of course, this is how Japanese courts actually work. But then I stopped googling because I didn't want to learn more information. And so now I'm picturing just two judges being like, no, that objection stands. And the third guy being like, doesn't stand in this corner. When you guys fucking stupid be the new guy. Yeah.

So. But but kind of Motto is having a weird like atheist grandstanding speech, which like, I, you know, I'm all for I do it on a weekly basis, but we're to do like in a court of the afterlife, right? Yes. Yeah. Also, we find out that the reason he committed suicide was because a politician lied to him. And I'm guessing if that made him commit suicide, he can't have been doing that job very long. It was his first day. And he says, you know, I took everything from me. It took everything. It took my reputation.

It took my name as a news reporter. It's like, dude, your death announcement literally opened with the fact that you cracked a really big case. It did. You'll still look pretty well known reporter here. Right. Yeah. But he's like, I don't believe in an afterlife.

And then one of the judges that is like, well, then where is this scene even happening? And he's like, Oh, fuck, got me. You got me. I am checkmated. Yeah, I wanted him to be like, actually, we're just drawings in a cult movie and the judges are like, oh, no, I'm damn it. You know what?

If we're gonna swoosh doodly, dude, I guess that's fair. You can do this. But the judges are like, I can't believe it. A materialist, even now in the era of the Buddha's rebirth, in and that, and then they sentence him to the consequences of wasting his life, which begins by being sucked into a gay portal, I guess.

Right. So it does, but they do say to him, like, well, now you're in the afterlife, you've got to believe in God. It's like, okay, that's a really good point, but equally, don't worry about believing God unless and until you're in an afterlife courtroom. That's the moment you start believing. That's good advice to take away.

Yeah, it shows the straw man of the atheist that they think we would end up in an afterlife in front of a supernatural court and being like, I don't know guys, have you read letter to a Christian nation? It makes me really comparing points. He also, he's also annoyed that he hasn't got access to a lawyer. He wants access to a lawyer in limbo And I just wanted the judge to be like yeah, the lawyers don't tend to stay here too long. They Get filed pretty quickly

sucked through the game portal. Yeah, I just wanted him to get some terrible public defender like some angel who doesn't have his wings yet Sorry, um, you're like my 745th millionth case today. Oh, yeah, the guy you have delivered Alex Jones is, uh, yeah. So, but, but just then we're sucked out of the courtroom because some dude pulled sciaco out of the way of the train. Now, I'll go ahead and let you, the listener know that this is actually her college age ex boyfriend that just happened to be at that same train station. The movie's going to confuse the shit out of us, thinking that they just met in this moment for a few minutes. Absolutely. Yeah, very confusing. Also, the boyfriend will be mysterious. And you're always thinking

like the movie is going to explain that he has psychic powers to or he was informed of some kind of destiny, which is why he knows the things he knows and is the places he is. I'm going to let you down right now, easy. The movie never explains any of that. He is just, I don't know where the plot goes the character. Yeah. To the point where he keeps apologizing for not having told later, we'll find out he's part of TSI. And he keeps apologizing, not having told about TSI. And I probably should have told you about TSI earlier, we never find out what TSI's done. So at any point, he never tells us what it is. It's the good guy cult, but he never tells us that, yeah, the movie never explicitly states it. So yeah, so they're having coffee together afterwards

and I have a like, they're having like, thank you for saving me from dying in a train station coffee. And she's like, I know this is going to set weird, but I saw the ghost of that suicidal reporter wonder run. It's like, actually, you know what? I know a shockingly large amount about train ghosts. Let me draw you a diagram. He has a diagram of the afterlife. Yep. He draws it on a napkin for her with the pen he has. Now, I will say to his credit, right, and the movie makes fun of this, but I do want to point this out, it is the worst drawing representation of reincarnation I have ever seen there are like nine arrows all pointing in various

directions. Yeah, a human form 16 labels. And the human form in that human. It looks like a gingerbread man than a human. Like a gingerbread man that you let the kids. Yeah, exactly. You know, without a cut board game, people, if you will. It looks like he's trying to explain the reincarnation of gingerbread men die. Like look when gingerbread men die. Some of their like ice decorations live on and they get reused on another gingerbread man.

That's why I thought was going on there. So yeah, but he's like, don't worry, I'm really kind of an expert in this. I can help you face down your your train ghosts. And she's like, I don't need your help. It's just act one. And so she storms away. And also she very dramatically makes him think she throws the reincarnation napkin away, but she doesn't.

She doesn't. And also we introduce as she's walking away from the scene, we introduced the fact that her little brother follows her around and takes pictures of her because he wants to be a reporter to that rap scallion yeah alright so daddy we've got her at home she's watching the news people sure are seeing a lot of ufos on the news and then the news suddenly says like and we're also going to welcome for an interview now the man many are calling the Buddha of the 21st century, Mr. Array.

Okay. I just want to get out ahead of this right now. Okay. If you're a cult leader and the whole prospect of your cult is I'm a guy who says I'm the reborn Buddha. Why would you make a movie where a guy who says he's the reborn Buddha is the bad guy, right? I know they eventually come in and he's like, no, I'm actually the reborn Buddha is the bad guy, right? I know they eventually come in and he's like, no, I'm actually the reborn Buddha, but you just wouldn't make that

a villain category at all. Right. You wouldn't think, well, so here's the thing. Okay, normally when in a movie, if you're introduced to a character that says he's the rebirth of the Buddha, it has two million followers and all this stuff, you know, you're dealing with the bad guy in the movie with happy science cult. I was like, all right, let's see how this plays out. He is the bad guy of the movie. There's a different cult leader who also says he's the reincarnation of the Buddha who is

who's the good guy. We will meet him later. Yeah. He's the real one. Yeah. This movie isn't about don't trust people who say they're Buddha. It's about trusting the right guy. Yes. Yes.

Right. Also, these movies are fairly well drawn as far as like Animes go, but I don't know who they, I think they hired like a bicep drawing guy to draw a rise face. He was like, come on guys, give me my first chance to draw a character's face.

And this is what we ended up with. He also seems like twice the size of everybody else on screen. At the end of the year, he was seeing like tiny, tiny people compared to him as well. So they've got all the perspectives wrong. Yeah. Yeah. So they're interviewing him and he's talking about how it's important to rely only on yourself and be very, very mean to others.

And just then there's an earthquake all over Japan. And a light, like a lighting fixture in the studio falls. It's about to crush the interviewer to death, but Mr. Arai, the bag I caught later, uses his telekinesis to stop it from falling. Yes, yes he does. And the thing is, at this point, I assumed the guy saying he was Buddha was like,

meant to be Raya Wakawa, the person who wrote happy signs. So I thought, okay, but Raya Wakawa, if you went on live TV and levitated heavy equipment, you would have convinced more people instead you went on self-produced DVDs and give 10 hour lectures in a monochrome. That's a very different feel. People aren't going to be persuaded by this, but this wasn't it. This was a different guy. No, this is a bad guy power. Right. And if you're wondering, okay, is the rest of the movie about the guy who just demonstrated psychic telekinetic powers on TV? No, very little of Japan will be converted to his cause by his obvious demonstration of

telekinesis. That's true. Yeah, you would have thought that would have more impact. But I guess in this world, Atheist stand in the court of the afterlife, go and I'm not convinced. I don't know. So who knows? Being held at arms length by God trying to kick him in the stomach. Yeah. And I. But of course, Sayaka is watching all of this on TV at home and realizes that Mr.

Array can also see the smoke demons that she can see. So the next day at school, she's with her like report like school newspaper group and they decide that they should send someone out to interview, you know, the guy who did telekinesis on live television. I'm sure he's got slots open for high school newspapers, right? Also, let's go and interview this wild cult for the school newspaper. I'm sure nobody in charge will stop us doing that. Yes. Amazing.

If they're going to let the kids go and see this cult, Matt. I mean, to be fair, they did. Yeah. They did doing that. Yes, amazing. That's if they're gonna let the kids go and see this cult. Mad. I mean, to be fair, they did. Yeah, they did. Yeah, absolutely did do that. That's true. Yeah, Sayako volunteers for, she wants to know more about these smoke demons. So she goes for the interview and as she's waiting, you know, for time to go in, she gets a message from Yuki, that's the ex-boyfriend character that says, hey, whatever you do, don't

go to that cult where the guy did the telekinesis, that'll be very dangerous. And she messages back, fuck off, I'm gonna go to the cult where the guy did the telekinesis. Right. And, hey, podcast listener, I don't want you to get excited that this will be a dangerous situation

in any way she performed. He's just not the real Buddha. So, yeah, don't get yourself worked up. Yeah, the danger is she's gonna be bold by a lecture. That is the stakes that we've currently got going on. Don't go in there, he's super boring. Right. Well yeah, and that's what happens, right?

She goes in for the interview and they're like, oh, great timing. He just started a lecture and she's like, at the time we scheduled for an interview, how nice of him. Right, I never even thought about that, but yeah, what a dick move. Amazing.

So she goes into watch his lecture, he's got a full house, and he's like the bad guy, right? So his entire lecture is in order to be strong, the ends always justify the means. Weakness is a sin. You know, just like that for like three minutes. Right. I really hope the entire audience thought they were getting an interview with him. He was just on TV. Only people like, hey, can we chat?

He's like, yeah, could I? Absolutely, yeah. Could we do it like 3 p.m.? Yeah. Brilliant. Yeah. Here's the great thing about this guy's quote unquote evil lecture, as we'll talk about later in the movie.

And I think we might have even teased it already. The eventual good guy's wisdom is going to be nonsense, pullover. So when they have to do bad guy pullover, it's an even worse version of nonsense. Yes. Yes. He has to be like, you can kick a puppy if it's in your way. And he doesn't demonstrate telekinesis. Imagine going to a telekinetic guy's lecture and he's just like, you know, it's like Spock always said, I would be the one guy getting kicked out of that lecture being like, move shit with your head. No, no, you're throwing still fun to see if you can actually get fucked. Yeah. You wouldn't be the only one because shouldn't

to dust that right. The little brother has been following his sister around to get like the scoop or whatever. So he said this lecture, he listens to like three minutes of this. He's like, yeah, he's not moving any shit with his mind. Fuck this. He yells boo and we use. Yeah, the kid is great. The kid is absolutely great. Also, the kid cannot enter into any room without sliding like Tom Cruise from risky business.

This is also a lovely energy. Right. Right. So, yeah. So he leaves and and his way out of the building, Yuki is coming in, right? And he's like, Oh, you must be say I was a little brother. If she in there and he's like, yes. So you can go to go in and the guards are like, no, you can't go in. And he's like, why? Everybody's that he's having a public fucking lecture. You're just letting everyone in. And I like,

but not you for dramatic reasons, because we are menacing, menacing, menacing. Yeah. But he pushes his way in anyway. And he grabs Sayaka. He's like, we've got to get out of here. So he go to run the security stops. And Yuki says, oh, you don't want to mess with me. There are TSI members waiting outside.

And everybody's like, oh, TSI members, all right. Everybody says TSI. TSI, TSI, TSI, TSI, TSI, TSI, TSI, TSI, TSI, TSI, TSI, TSI, TSI, TSI, Motherfucking I, yes. Everybody seems to know what TSI is. We will never find out what TSI is. Nope, we will never even learn what those initials stand for, but just then, shouldn't accidentally knocks over a fire extinguisher, which is a secret Batman smoke bomb in Japan.

A lot of people know that. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. Mars, keep that in mind for QED. If there are moments where I'm, you know, perhaps not on stage and I want to be, I just, I will be seeing next to a fire extinguisher in all parts.

Yeah, the fire safety equipment in QED does not need your permission to go off a light. That's how it's going to turn out. That's true. That's what happens. I mean, why am I even going? You've not to pull fire. Sorry. So, yeah, so they, but they run away.

They get away and Yuki explains that that guy isn't the real reincarnated Buddha, but just as he's saying that the little brother gets attacked by a demon. Yeah. Fart ghost. Okay. So to be clear, it's a tiny black fart cloud that flies into his neck and he dies in the fun. He's not dead, but he falls down in the funniest possible way. Yes, he does. Yeah, so they take him to the hospital. We cut to the hospital. No, his dad's a doctor. The dad that we met earlier.

So the dad's working on him. He has this gigantic demon tumor on his face. Guitars. Yes. This almost is my best worst. This is the most hilariously ridiculous injury I have ever seen committed to film in any way. It's a goi to the size of his head and it's black. Oh, it's like he tried to swallow a giant tortoise or something.

Yeah, it's full of ghosts. Yeah, a bowling ball. Yeah, this kid is going to bowling ball in his throat. I wanted so bad for dad to try to drain it and just like a little bit of ghosts starts leaking out just like, oh, I'm all alone. I'm all alone.

I'm all alone. I'm all alone. So. Yeah, but Sayako blames herself, right? You know, so that late that night, dad's working, he's studying up on demonic fucking goiters or whatever. What does it look like? What does that look like from his perspective?

He's just scrolling through like different colored swollen necks. No, that one's red. He's more of a black hole. It's probably something else. He writes. So, but, but sayako interrupts and mid googling and she sheeplessly admits that she infected Shunta with the goiter because of the face demons she exposed him to.

It's my fault, Dad. I went to the wrong cult meeting. What did we say about going to the wrong cult meeting? He's always get the right. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, dad, dad gives her this like screaming like we are atheists in this house, young lady kind of a speech and storms off.

He literally says, I despise all things spiritual followed by a thunder crack. Yes, absolutely. All right, well, I'll tell you what, demonic goiters is just a tip of this iceberg. So we're going to pause long enough for you to catch up. But we'll be back in a few minutes with even more of the rebirth of Buddha. And so I said, shabby, more like old woman's pee. Oh, man, I'm sorry to hear that. Hey, guys, what's up? Oh, Penrose Hill ruined Marshall's vacation of France.

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Try first leaf dot com slash awful. Awesome. Well, I'm sorry, a rectification, dude. It's okay. Just as long as we never get a cheese sponsor, I'll be fine. I think he's sample demands would prevent that. Oh, yeah. No, that's true.

I don't know what's wrong with the UK. When I read my history book, I can see know what's wrong with the Yuki. When I read my history book, I can see a manifestation of the pain inside of it. Is this war so horrible? Oh no! Has anyone seen my husband? I lost him in the war. It's so terrible!

Quick, Yumi, try this! Why? This is just paper. There's no feeling to it at all. That's right. We knew the only way to help was to give you the only book written entirely without thought or feeling of any kind. Well, what is it? It's Snooki's a sure thing. Ah, that tracks. And we're back for more of this shit. We're going to rejoin Sayako walking into the

hospital where brothers in, seeing enough ghosts to put Haley Joe Osmond to shame, right? Well, and it's amazing, because again, the ghost system in this movie is that you're just bitching about the last, like, 45 seconds of your life. So it's just shock-a-block full of people being like, I'm very sick and dead, the hospital. Right.

And it does a ghost that who, like, Jonesing for just one more surgery, just a little while, it's hit me, go on, just to put me on. And I thought, you know, I'm not loving this remake of ghost, but it was a bold choice to recast whoopee Goldberg as a Japanese teenager. No, I can see how it hasn't quite worked. My favorite is because apparently the happy science cult is against Oregon transplant. So there's one ghost that's just like, give me back my kidney to some Oregon don't recipe. There against against the weirdest things. They're against the weirdest things.

They're against transplants. We already learned that being suicidal makes you an evil person. Yep. They're very active. Complications. I've made you evil. They've got such weird hangups. Yeah. But just then all the ghosts see a brilliant light shining and run away from it because they can't handle it. It's a, it's Mars doing an Australian accent and the actress from that chick's article from before, right? Yeah. It's not the like they're running away from. It's the accent.

I'll fuck it up. I'm going to get out of here. You don't want to say, blind me, mate. Okay. Here's the thing. Blah me, Koba. And we've gone over this a lot of times when we reviewed these movies. They hire relatively legit voice actors for these parts.

Was it just like a yada, yada, yada, I work too hard and I care too much thing in the job interview. Like what made this, because I've never said like I have an Australian exit in a professional set. Right. There was a day where this guy came in and sat at a microphone and they were like okay we've got two hours in studio. You're going to be recording the Australian characters lines and he was like yes, here we go. Yeah, we're out. And they were like, do you know what it is? I think I think think he sat down with a happy cult, guys. The happy science cult, guys, most of those are Japanese.

I think they said, can you do an Australian accent? And he heard Austrian. And he's like, I can't do an Austrian accent. And he's like, okay, you do Australian accent. Oh, shit. Shit crap, kind of fake it. I thought this was like a Quentin Tarantino type situation, right, where he was the translator whenever he said,

I'll do whatever I want It's it's the head of the cult show you Being booted in workout for him. So no, but this is against the actress that we've established several times in the movie Sciaco idolizes this actress. She's got a spank bank.. Like literally Marsh thought this movie was going to be a lesbian romance between her and this actress, right? It's the only thing that made sense. How much they'd set up how like the amount to which Secure wants to be with this actress. It was an interesting sector. So this, this is the only thing that made sense. But then I forgot that I was watching a happy science film. It doesn't have to make sense. It has to not make sense. Yeah, exactly. That's the key. The core of it. But apparently, Mari Kumaro, that's the actress. She's a member of the Good Guy

cult, which is TSI, which Yuki is also a member of Yuki is the ex-boyfriend, Keep Up. And he is now set up a meeting between Mari Kumaro and Sayako, the main character. Yeah. And they introduced their cult by being like, we're members of TSI. We spread the between Mari Kumoro and Sayako, the main character. Yeah, and they introduced their cult by being like, we're members of TSI. We spread the teachings of Buddha. And I wanted to be like, so Buddhists, you're Buddhists? No, no, no, no.

You know how Jews for Jesus aren't Jews? Follow that, follow that, come with us. Yes, like that. There's also another really funny little line where they say like, oh, this is the butter reborn. And someone says, in other words, the reincarnation of butter, I mean, like in one of the words. That's the other word.

So yes, they leave the hospital. They all go to a diner for some juice boxes, which is apparently a thing that you do in Japan, right? And they're there to warn her about the dangers of Mr. Aray and his bad guy, face tumor demon cult. Yeah. And she was actually a member of the bad guy's cult. He made her a famous actress. Yes, right. But then she like, we are remaining to him or something. Yeah. She said, like, you know, it was all terrible. I was mentally abused. I was made to feel worthless.

I was left in my lowest eb and that's when I joined the right cult. I left them. I'm joined the correct cult because that is the best time to make good decisions about who you believe the rest of your life. Yeah. Yeah. So then we so we cut back to Shunter at the hospital, the little brother with a with a demonic goiter and the actress the Aussie and Yuki show up there along with the good guy cult leader. This is where we're going to meet Ruhau Kawas analog in the movie. This is Mr. Serrano, right? Oh my God. And I put a picture of this guy in our notes, just as a quick reminder, if you have not done it, you should Google happy science cult leader and then watch a little of this movie to see how

He visually represented himself it is Bold Right, it's it actually don't go with a current picture though because you seven months decomposed at the moment But yeah, yeah, one of the pictures from back when he was alive, but if you do have a current picture In the nose, Especially of his feet. I'm gonna update his Wikipedia page. I'm gonna make and update his Wikipedia page. Okay, there you go.

So, but Mr. Serrano is there to explain that they have to remove the demonic face glitter by removing the three poisons of greed, anger, and foolishness. Yeah. And by the way, he tries to go through them and he's like, greed, you know, fucking greed. A anger, also very self explanatory foolishness. I got a good twist on this one.

Foolishness is not believing in me. Right, yes. He's an idiot. Well, it's funny because I have already written in my notes at this point. It's incredible how little profundity it takes to be a cult leader these days. Little did I know. Yeah. The three poisons of the mind is going to be the best he has and it is nerd

game. Yeah. So yeah. So they start doing their like demonic exorcism of the fucking demon goiter. And I guess they convinced the demon that he actually wants to join happy science cult so you can get out of hell. Yeah, he's like, yeah, if you join the cult, you'd be allowed into heaven. And I really want the cold guy to be like lying to the demon like as soon as he gets out. Yeah, if I can go spusters break in right at that moment or something. So yeah, but he pulls the demon out. The demon goes into the Aussie guy and then the Aussie guy talks to him as the demon. I feel like they didn't discuss that beforehand.

Like I feel like he was just like, yes, come with me Australian guy. And he was like, oh, cool. Am I going to help with the procedure? And he's like, Oh, cool. Am I going to help with the procedure? And he's like, yes, in a way. Yeah. Part of it. Do a quick stretch of your neck, though, do a quick stretch, just in case it turns around three, 16. Yeah.

But the face tumor disappears when the demon agrees to leave. And the doctor, dad, just can't believe it. And Mr. Serrano turns to him and he goes, uh, you have cancer that you're hiding from your family. And he's like, I do. And it won't impact the plot in any way at all. It's so bad. It's so bad. Because the thing is, first of all, Serrano is just like psychically cancer reading. And even if that was true, it's a dick move to just say that in front of the guys and die a family. And also the guy hadn't told his family, he's got six months left to live apparently.

And he didn't mention to his wife, I've got six months that, not even in the sense of like, oh, what are you doing? You're booking that holiday to America next year. Um, watch the return. You're gonna book a knock on booking.com. You can do the concansal right up until the day before. Let's do that.

I don't know if it's a some more expensive, but you never know. You know what? Let's wait for the travel insurance, honey. No, I just said. Okay. But I do want to be clear to the audience though, that because he is magic, he has magic powers. He turns to the dad. He's like, you have cancer. He's like, yeah, I've six months to live. And the magic guy says, remember, during hard times you've learned something and they never address the cancer again. He does not heal the bad.

No, he does not comfort the dad. Nope. He's just like, yes, sucks to fucking suck, but you know, remember that every cloud is a silver lining, Bibi Bobbidi Boo. Well, but even worse than that, he implies that he has cancer because he wasn't thinking happier thoughts through his life. And he's been a filthy atheist this whole time. Yes.

Oh, yeah. So, so they leave the hospital like, you know, proud of a job well done. Psycho chases after them and asks Mr. Serrano why she sees demons and ghosts and shit. Right. And he's like, oh, well, that is the plot of the next two thirds of the movie. Actually, what he says, he says, you have a mission and I just want to be clear. Having made it to the end of this movie, her mission has absolutely nothing to do with her ability to see ghosts. No, it doesn't. And also, I'm able to come to it. Her mission is very

much to be there while stuff happens Right cuz she doesn't do anything does she know he does her yeah, right her mission is to like fucking read a letter He wrote essentially yeah, yeah, so okay, so then we cut to a Japanese street fare that looks fucking amazing Everybody's dressed up in like traditional Japanese garb and everything looks like a lot of fun Yeah, it's cool and in like traditional Japanese garb and everything, listening a lot of fun. Yeah, it's cool. And this is Yuki and Sayako, they're going on a date, they were broken up, but they're rethinking it now.

She brought her little brother, because he's a character. To the date. Mm-hmm, nice. And this is the first of like 16 scenes where Yuki is gonna apologize for not telling her about his good guy cult earlier. Yes.

Right. I'm sorry for not telling you about TSI. Like for example, what those letters mean. I will never ever do that. Well, when we go on a date with Yuki, he'll probably apologize to us, Marsh, for never telling us what that is. Oh, right. Yeah, exactly.

But the amount of specific knowledge he had, it does feel like it deserves more than a casual apology, right? Like it wasn't just, oh, I should have told you about TSI. It's like, oh, I should have told you about TSI and also our enemy cult. And also the fact that our enemy cult has a special demon fart power, which will invest your brother. If you go to one of their lectures, like, right? Because she thanks him, she thanks him for what he did, but what she means is saving me from the boring lecture, not saving her little brother's life.

Yeah, right. And I just realized, I think there's a reason he's not told them what TSI stands for. I think it's, it stands for something incredibly silly. And he's just too embarrassed to say, no, we're the, we're the spooky investigators. The what? Well, yeah, no, we're the spooky investigators. The what? Well, yeah, and I'll forget I said anything. Sorry, we were originally an offshoot of the Scooby-Doo gang, and I don't know how. It was like a Hannah Barbera merger thing to get the animation crazy.

I can't say. We were going to get like a, we were promised there was going to be a deal on like the history channel, history channel, right after we were going to walk around with those ESP meters, but then it fell through and we will stop it with a lot of T-shirts we couldn't ship. Yeah, at least we are called Skeptic Magazine, right? I mean, I think we can all agree that there are worse mistakes you can make in brand day.

I mean, we are called the Skeptic. So it's different, totally different. Well, the only way that we differ from Skeptic Magazine is in the name, obviously. So yeah, but of course, they're having this lovely day trying to catch goldfish. When dammit, if a bunch of UFOs don't show up to ruin their good time, I just wrote my note. Fuck yeah. Happy science cult because I will say a running theme of happy science cult, like some kind of, you know, magical psychic lover every time I ever start to get bored in a happy science cult movie, they're like, and

then aliens attack and I'm like, oh, you know me. So yeah, yeah, this is what you UFOs line up and start independence day and the fuck out of the city. They're running from laser beams. I feel like that's a losing effort. I'm glad we've all got Independence Day as the comparative there because initially they were lining up like space invaders. I literally was writing. I hope they start attacking horizontally, it's slowly increasing speed. They blew up the entire fucking city. I was like, okay,

okay, you got me that movie. If only not see that coming. If only the space and batters had thought of that. Yeah, and I did write to my notes at this point, run away from the aliens, magic school girl who sees evil suicide ghosts is where we are in this movie. Yeah, that is where we are. So yeah, but Yuki said he's like, stay here, I'll go back and save your brother. And we're all like, why would that place be any safer

from the laser explosions than anywhere else? And that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. And also why does she hold on to him for 20 further seconds staring at him just to give like the lasers a head start on the little brother again? Is that way?

Wait, and got like Dr. Strange in Infinity Wallet, not yet, not yet. Now you got to say that. Yeah, right, right. But yeah, so Yuki runs off to find Shunta. The lasers are coming right for us. She's about to explode, but just then there are glittery flower petals that show up also and they take out the UFOs.

Well, they're taking out the UFOs and then they combine together and turn into a giant lotus flower. Yes, flower. Yes. Flour? Yes. Yes. All the UFOs first come together into a mothership and then the petal angel glitter sort of things turn that UFO demon mothership into a giant lotus flower.

It's very hard to describe this. It's very, very difficult. Like, I would, you know, you get the subtitles fall out, the visually impaired, or like, the, you get the subtitles for like the visually impaired or like the, sorry, the audio description for the visually impaired. I don't want to be the guy who has that job on this. All right, let me lighten on a cigarette. Hold on it. Yeah. I think you'd need three of them talking at once, just to cover all of the stuff that's going on in real time. Right. Well, and of course, as this is all happening,

Saiko is pointing to all of it. So everybody around her, it starts saying, oh, look, that young girl is fighting the UFOs with her magical lotus petals. And everybody's like, oh, yeah, no, obviously. Right. And that's all started by an old guy who shouts at first. That girl's fighting the UFOs. But I think it's just that, that old guy recognized.

He looks so much like an alien. He just wants to get it down on the record, which side that he's on. I'm not with those guys. I'm a different alien. Yeah. And to be fair, when he says that, when other people start saying that she's like, did I do that? And the movie's like, I, we genuinely don't know.

Did you do that? And the movie's like, we genuinely don't know. Did you do that? Yeah, right. We all thought you had ghost seeing powers. And apparently now you have pedal based laser powers. Can you just sort of cohes slightly as a character? Or does she? Right? Because then we cut to Mr. Sirono and a tower nearby,

like meditating, like so did he do it or did she do it? And he's not doing enough to make it look like he's the one who did it. So I thought is he watching her doing it or is he doing it and giving her credit? Like why would this movie not make that clear? I have no idea why they wouldn't clarify that for us. Fucking baffling. Imagine being the person who wrote the first draft of this script. Like you've written this and you've got to show it to other human beings.

And you're going to be like, okay, I know this part of it that don't work and don't hang together well, but hear me out the some ideas in here. And they go like, yes, that's exactly that. And now in no changes, yeah, it's divinely inspired. Oh, oh, they've got a writer's room. But the writers weren't talking to each other over Zoom and they each did a scene. And then, okay, so I'm just showing the kind of thing that I can do. And they're like, okay, this works done. And it all comes together.

Or maybe the writers just communicate as well as the people doing the dubbing and the subtitles communicate. That's could be that as well. Sure. Yeah. All right. So the next day, the government is having, I don't, I don't know what's fucking happening. Honestly, I'm having a cigarette with the guy doing the fucking visually impaired stuff, right? It's a TV show, but it's also

a government panel that has decisive powers to do. But they've assembled this panel of people to talk about the UFO attack and decide what they're going to do as a government. And that panel do not know what's going on. They're convened to panel of people who have no idea what's going on. No, that is what they've got here. No, they've got one of Mr. Arise lackeys. They've got a couple of experts who insisting it's a hallucinogen. They've got a fucking native American medicine woman there. Who shouts objection like she's in a court. Yes, what's going on? I also, I really like how the representative of the evil Buddha guy is taking credit for swatting the alien attack and say, ah, so that's where Mysterio got his plot from far from home from.

Oh, he got it from this. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, no, of course. We did. Yeah. Also, we should just point out that the Native American lady, and this is pretty common in anime and incredibly problematic representation of Native Americans. People, it is not good. It is, I'll say, if you printed this out and put it somewhere, like a grown up would have a talk with you about it and you couldn't go back there.

So yeah, but Mr. Arise Lackey is like, yeah, well, actually, Mr. Arise defeated the, it was him to the Lotus Flower things. And the news lady is like, actually, according to the internet, it was this girl that we see here in this kimono who fought the UFOs. Right. And so this is the thing, like, they've convened a panel of experts and then they're reading to them uninformed audience comments. Right. They got this bit of TV news right. They're moving up this right about TV. That's fair.

That's fair. But they're like, yeah, though, the whole internet says it was this girl. And we got a fact also about why they do to the lineup. And they've got proof that like a girl in a kimono, worn it off the alien attack. And we have proof that a girl has won a kimono. That's what you've got proof of. Right. That there is a girl in a kimono worn it off the alien attack and we have proof that a girl has won a kimono. That's what you've got proof of. There is a girl in a kimono. Yes. And the picture of her in the kimono, it isn't very, it's, they've blurred her face to protect her anonymity, but it's not very well blurred, but to be fair, special effects people in Japan aren't used to blurring people's

faces. Right. They're in their time. Their industry of blurringring is they're really allowed to have a fast. No, they are. Yes. Needed in some areas. And not. Well, and in so and in the movie, they even have to acknowledge that right? Because they're like, here's the girl who saved us from the UFOs. We've blurred her face to blur identity. And we're like, well, you didn't blur it very much. And then we cut to her friends at school going, Hey, sciaco, that's obviously you. Yes. And have friends just so enthusiastic and supportive.

And I wrote Eli, if I ever ward off into planetary aliens while wearing my nicest kimono, I want you to be this supportive, this is a nice one for me. Yes, I say it when I don't promise much on this show. Marsh, but absolutely with my whole heart. I mean, you'll probably grant yourself as interplanetary alien fighter offers. I don't know. I don't know if you need me to do it.

I'm giving that a wall to somebody else. This just still me. We'll see. We'll see. We don't know who won yet. We don't know. So okay. I'm coming to keep you honest. That's why I'm coming in person. So I can stand up and object. If once again. So okay, so the next day,

Syako shows up late to meet Yukio for fucking cult church, right? And she's dressed as like a 1960s it go or if you pick the steam train drive a character in an arcade fighting game, but like your friend also picked them and she's in the old costume. Yes, exactly. I have her down as World War One Gunner. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Sexy World War One Gunner is what they're going through. Bitch. And he says, why are you dressed like that? She's like, well, you know, everybody in the media wants to

interview me because of the alien fighting and the improper face blurring. And he's like, oh, right on. Well, let's go into this church full of, you know, hundreds of people and shit. I'm sure that won't cause problem in here. And I just have to point out how fucking hilariously similar the bad cult and the good cult are. Keep in mind, they drew this movie. They weren't even confined by reality. Right. And yet the bad cult and the good cult are differentiated only by which guy who says he's Buddha is standing at the podium. Right. Yes.

Like, they could switch the scenes out to nobody would know. See if you just switch those scenes around. They'd be like, okay, yeah, that makes sense. He's the good guy now. Oh, and we get six minutes of just babblem. I like, I said, they're cleaning resin out of my bowl the whole time. It was so fun. It was like, it was the, the most verbose possible way of saying live laugh love is what it was. Yes. Like, I feel like if I'd have skipped this scene and then you asked me to give a book report

presentation on it with me not having seen it, I'd have been able to guess this verbatim. You nailed it. It is. True. Not darkness, enlightenment, heart, true self, truth. You could put this scene together with the responses everyone's ever given to a direct question on be reasonable. So I feel like that's kind of feeding.

Okay, that's right. That is fun. I wrote my notes. I've never been a woman who one of Heath's childhood friends is trying to fuck an arpeggio on my party. But now I know exactly what the experience is. So yeah, so, so they get done with her. She's really likes it. It's really fucking good. She's very excited about that. She's going home, but her brother catches her and he says, hey, there's a ton of fucking reporters outside of our house. I'll try to get an interview with you. What are we going to do? So she calls the actress friend and the actress is like, why don't you come to my network and give a press conference?

There, there's lit, like she's hiding from report. There's 400 reporters right there. Why would she go elsewhere to give a fucking press conference? Yeah. Well, now we know she was just waiting for a big enough screen. And it wasn't that she didn't want to give a press conference. She just didn't want to give a half-assed one. Right. Right. She knew anyone, make sure she could use somebody else's makeup girl. Yeah. No fucking four seasons home and garden for her. Also, she's told she has it. She should tell the truth about what happened, but like what truth could she possibly tell? I watched it and I couldn't tell the truth about what happened. What

hope does she have? Right. I pointed at the UFOs and there were low dis flowers. Honestly, like why don't you listen to this poor guy who did the audio captions for the visually impaired? He put his all into the shit. But yeah, but Yuki picks her up to driver over there. And of course, while they're driving over there, the two of them make up and they fall in love again. Right. Cause he spent ages like ignoring her and nagging her and bringing it out. And now she's totally into him. He is learning from this cult. He's got a lot of lessons he's picked up from how to be in a cult. Yeah, it doesn't, either.

All right. Well, I'll tell you what, it seems that we've more or less resolved the grooming plot line and not in the way we were hoping for. So I need another break. But first, let me give back through the hard. So will this movie ever explain why or how a rye had access to an army of UFOs? Will this movie simply move on as though UFO attacks were a common occurrence in Japan? How hard can I go fuck myself?

I know the answers to these questions and more when we return for the bafflingly protracted conclusion of the rebirth of Buddha. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Right, and then it's Mike's flight gets in it three. We can get him to the hotel in the same car as Tim. Hey, Hey, Marsh, how's it going? Oh God, I'm just getting ready for QD. You know, it's such a busy time.

That's true. Less than a week and you guys are selling digital tickets this year. You must have racing thoughts. Sorry, racing thoughts. Yeah, you know, just a constant worries. The feeling that you're not doing something right, when you jump up in the middle of the night to check and recheck work that you've probably already done.

Uh, no, no, no, none of that, none of that. But if you, if you are dealing with that, you might want to try better help. Better help. You mean therapy is good for racing thoughts? It sure is. If you think this starting therapy gives better help a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule.

Just without a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switched therapists at any time for no additional charge. So, no awkward therapist breakups? No awkward therapist breakups. Get a break from your thoughts with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash awful today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. It's E L P dot com slash awful. All right, Marsh. Thanks. So, so what do you think about in the run up to Q E D? Probably about how much you wish you could give himself skeptic of the year again, right? Nah, yeah, that tracks.

I hate you guys. I can't believe we're gonna meet Grandmaster Smith. I know, his wisdom is legendary. Hello to both of you. Hello, Grandmaster Smith. Is it true that Master Array is secretly a demon? It is. But you will defeat him with the eternal truth that I shall give you now.

We are ready, Grandmaster. Be nice. Sorry. Grandmaster. I know. My wisdom is as mind-blowing as it is practical, but it is important that you do so in a way that is kind and good. For your goodness and kindness, shall make all that you do nice. Right? Got it. Be nice. Great start. Anything else? Yeah, maybe something a little more obscure. Hmm. I see. I think you are ready for my deepest wisdom. Yes, we are.

Do not let lies prevent you from seeing the truth. The truth is that which is true and lies are not true, not in the slightest. Seriously? Come on! What? I'm giving you guys good stuff here. No, you're not. This is like the most basic and benal good advice I've ever gotten.

Yeah, it feels like you just got this from a poorly written fortune cookie. Ah, so you know of the cookie of destiny. God damn it. You guys want to add in bed at the end? That can be fun. It's fun. No. Aww.

And we're back for still more of this shit. It's fun. No. Oh. And we're back for still more of this shit. We're going to rejoin the action with Mr. Arise storming into a television station ready to enact his next master plan after the UFO thing went wrong. He's got a new one. Yeah. This is a hijacking the airway was a basic plan. Yeah. Now to be clear, it appears that all it took to hijack all the televisions in Japan was to punch one guy in the stomach. Yes, one TV. Yeah, absolutely. Apparently he's got like a fight club project mayhem thing going on like he's positioned henchmen in every section in society to deliver that stomach punch at any given moment to anybody who needs it. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. So he gets on the air. They're like, you know, now a message from Mr.

Array, who is the rebirth of Buddha. And he gets on the air and he's like, who's fucking tsunami is going to hit you, man? So the thing is as well, right? You've got the henchman who introduces him and then he steps to the side and the evil Buddha guy is sat behind him in a big chair. And I thought, so was he sat behind him the whole time? Because now I really want to set Tecra hustle where he has to figure out how close to the camera he needs to stand in order to completely obscure the guy behind him. We can still don't move your arm. I can see you under your armpit now. You have to keep your arms by your sides. So you know, in my head, they brought the chair, right?

They were like, no, it's weird for me to be standing this long. I want to sit, but like, in casual, I don't want everyone to be freaked out. I want them to just know what's going on. Right. Because the thing is we're going to cut over a set in a second to a newsreader who's confirming all this. And then when we cut back, we realized the newsreader is in the same room, the same studio. Yes. He's at a normal news desk lit normally.

And then just to his right, there's big evil chair with scary evil light lighting. And that makes me think, was that always the new studio? Or did they come in and do a paint job and a lighting job to the other side of the new studio? And be like, yeah, don't worry about this. During the 1 p.m. news, you're like, I know we're doing some painting, but like, it's fine.

It's not, you don't need to worry about this at all. Well, and all of this complex blocking is made all the more insane by the fact that the message he's trying to deliver is that a tsunami is going to hit Japan in 10 minutes. Now he starts explaining at length, why and how he knows is I feel like you summarize quickly, but that's not something happy. So it's called movies can do. And then the weather guy cuts in and he's like, oh, no, he's right. There's a, there is a tsunami coming. So I guess his master plan was to fucking scoop the weatherman by two minutes. Yeah. Also, I feel like tsunami is not a cool plot point in Japan, right? No, no, absolutely not. I feel like they would be not,

that would be like being like, there are two towers here in town that we're gonna use. All right, right, it would be like barvenheimer actually, but yeah. And the thing is like, first of all, it's a 10 minute warning for tsunami, right? Because like, tsunami's normally followed earthquakes. It feels like 10 minutes is either way too long or nowhere near long enough

But 10 minutes seems I can oddly like they've hit the sweet spot of exactly how long it shouldn't be Like it's too dumb. Yeah, okay, get under a desk and then Watch TikTok for nine minutes. It doesn't feel right and he says you know And there's a tsunami coming in 800 kilometers an hour and I thought okay, that feels way too fast That feels very specific. So I paused the film at this point, and I checked. And apparently 800 Columbus in hour is how fast tsunamis can actually go.

So this movie checks out. Yeah, and everything, everything actually is correct. And then of course, he breaks it to the people watching at home that if they want to survive the tsunami, they have to quote surrender your minds and quote. Yeah. Just climb onto the roof you building.

Oh, I know it's coming. Yeah. Right. Well, I love we cut till I fucking Japanese Jim Cantoray go and like, yeah, no, actually, I think we should surrender our minds to this guy. I'm near the shore. Also, isn't this where they say you need to evacuate to the sky. I'm near the shore. Also, is this where they say you need to evacuate to higher grounds? Yeah, higher spiritual grounds. How about right? Right.

That's what it means. But then the water starts pouring into the studio. So, okay. So the TV studio was on the ground floor. Again, that seems a weird choice. Right? You don't put that. That's that's second or third level shoulder. Don't worry, Marsh. They will later show that it is very much not on the ground. They also none of this really adds up. Yeah. So meanwhile, Sayako Yuki and Shunta are showing up at a different news network, right? Because they were going to give their press conference.

She's seen a fuck ton of panic ghosts, right? The ghosts are like the smoke demons are entering people and making them panic about the tsunami. Yeah, now they're kind of Scientology Theatons for some reason. And so this is where we see the tsunami happening and it is a massive tsunami. It is so much bigger than all of the skyscraper buildings. And I thought, okay, I'm pausing this film again, because you know, any fucking excuse to pause this film. So okay, well, how tall is this tsunami wave comparatively in this animation? So I was like, okay, well, that's that plaza building in the distance.

That's got to be like twice the height of the building next to it. So this plaza building has 15 floors, which means the one next to it is at least 30 stories tall. That's like five, six hundred feet. And the tsunami wave is so much bigger than that, that can't be true. So I googled the average tsunami, apparently. Sunami's on tall of 100 feet tall, but the tallest tsunami ever recorded was in Alaska in 1958,

which was 1700 feet tall. Oh, Jesus. So it can be bigger than that building. So again, this movie checks out. No, yes. Perfectly plausible at this point. All right, now, Marsh, I've always had a theory that if you just dived into a tsunami, you'd be fine.

Did you do any Googling to find out that if you just like, right, it would pass through you. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Point breaks, dial. Yeah. So, yeah, but the demons are possessing everybody, making them panic because you know how people really need help panicking when there's a 1700 foot tsunami coming out.

I'm at 800 kilometers an hour. But what we're learning here is that it's, there's actually no tsunami at all. This is a group hallucination based on some level of that, like what we, like we manifest things into the world by thinking about them or fearing them concept. Sure. Yeah, exactly. And the only way to survive this tsunami, like in reality is to join the happy signs cult and see through it. So basically she needs to get on TV and just like bang on about the happy signs cult. So the solution to this massive catastrophic event is awareness, like it's fucking corny 2012, like in share guys. Knowing is all the battle actually is a treasure. Oh man, if you Kio ends up jerking off on a parked car.

I mean, this is Japanese anime. It's so cool. Yeah, we're gonna find it. Really good. That would be tentacles. I've seen that video. So yeah, they get to the network and the actress, Chick-Marius, like, yeah, you need to run to the studio and broadcast the truth quick. The goons are after you. So there's some goons after them, right? Luckily, Yuki and Maria are both karate

masters now. Yeah. So they fight off the bad guys, Sayoka and Shunta run off. There's still some bad guys right on their tails, but don't worry. The problematic Native American shaman lady is there to use her Native American powers. She also to force push them has a force push, right? And they say to her, this is fucking insane. They go, why did you help us? And she goes, I don't know what's going on. And I wrote the Diane Fungstein story. Okay. We're figuring this out. I mean, no, because she actually did something to help. So it's not the dying fight. Nothing corrupted all about this. So meanwhile, all the Japan's losing their shit over the coming tsunami and the accompanying

earthquakes and lightning, there's a giant ghost sperm shadow floating through the world that we see at length. Yeah. But then Sayaka walks into the studio and they're like, she's like, I need to get on the news and say something and they're like, that's how it works. Yes. And the thing is all of the, all of every single channel in Japan are broadcasting the same thing. There's a tsunami. It's chaos, but this newsroom is weirdly calm. But they want to get destroyed. But he mostly seem to know that he's going to be slightly late for commercials. That's a level of energy. He's bringing it to it.

Right. And I want to point out it is actually even dumber than I have a message I want to read on the news. She just says to the producer, I have a message for you from the actress lady who runs the TV show. and his answer is read it on the air right now. I was like, man, I'm sure glad her message wasn't like, I've got super bad dire read a day. So we need to delay this show by 10 minutes. Yeah. So they're like, Oh, no, you're the girl from the kimono whose face we didn't really blur out at all. We'll put you on the air. Everybody will love to see that, right?

In the middle of a tsunami. As far as they know, right in the middle of a fucking tsunami, we're just going to have a puff piece about the girl in the kimono. Right. This would be like if 9-11, they had just cut to a message from the I love turtles kid. But yeah, so the cameras come out. She doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know what to say. But luckily, Serrano sprinkles into a spiritual existence in her imagination or whatever,

and he like man splains what to say to her. Yes, she's a microphone. Yeah. Right, so much so, just so that like no woman would have anything to say in this movie, we're hearing his voice over top of hers saying all the stuff. Yeah, absolutely. The big solution here is for an apparently fuckable school child, just where we're going with this, to literally be the attractive mouthpiece for a cult leader. And she tells everyone everything, they don't listen. And so he then starts to talk over.

She said it all, no, be listen. So now a man is going to repeat it. And they're going to think he's had a great idea. That is what I exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So, but she tells everybody or he tells everybody, depending on how you look at it, that they all have to stop thinking about the tsunami. And if they meditate and live laugh, love better, it'll go away and it won't hit Japan. So everyone does. Everyone does, yeah. All it took was a girl to go on live TV and say,

not a, yes. And people are saved. Yeah, yes. Exactly. Her grand mission. It's like the COVID vaccine. All it took was someone to go on stage. And then a golden wave of happy thoughts

washes over the country and saves the day. We get a rivalry upset about this. We get me even more upset that there's somehow still 30 minutes left in this fucking movie. 100% 100% and a rise version of being upset is mimeing, wanking off two guys into his face while making hard eye contact down the camera lens to assert dominance apparently. That is how he's enriched. Yeah, I get it. I do it too. By the way, for those who were checking in on Marsha's level of insanity at this point in the movie, he was at this point trying to define scientifically how the multi colored rings of light were affecting the evil. No, that's fair. I just want to point out that in like three different occasions in the news while talking

about this ostensible high school girl at the center of this movie, the newscasters are like, and this beautiful girl helped save the day. I just think that's a weird commentary to on. Yeah, absolutely. They keep emphasizing how fuckable this child is. It's so weird on live TV news. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So that when we cut to Mr. Array, like screaming into his empty headquarters about how much better it could have been in a way that just screams, here comes a musical number. Yeah, it's, it's, I'll get you next time in spectacadabia. It's more of a shared reality. But then Satan shows up like in, in voice the demon that possesses a show's up and goes, yeah, man, you really fucked this up. You really fucked this. Yeah, he's talking to the disembodied voice of authority like it's the end of an episode

of Maulken Mindy. And he's selling things up except except in the end of an episode of Maulken Mindy, Maul wasn't then filled with the displaced spirits of suicide victims. Yeah, just one. Actually, just one. Jesus Christ. Too far, March. Get out. Get out. That's too far. Here I got off of the other side. I wasn't expecting to make a Robin Williams suicide joke until the end of that sentence and then suddenly it was down on the page. Yeah, now I'm very getting it. I get it. All right. So yeah, so the news is obsessed with her. They're calling her this savior. We get her sneaking out of her So yeah. So the news is obsessed with her.

They're calling her the savior. We get her sneaking out of her high school, right? Like, you know, trying to stay away from the reporters when a demon sneaks up and attacks her. So we cut immediately from there to the cops telling the parents that she's gone missing. And it'd be so weird if it was just that she's dead because they said like found some of a person's life. It'd be great if She was just dead.

It'd be pretty. Yeah. I really wanted them to talk about how attractive she was and I can't emphasize enough that she's an attractive young woman. We will do nothing. We will stop at nothing to find her. I mean, look, if she was, you know, we probably wouldn't do it, but she's really a good looking kid.

So yeah, right. Get a good girl. Now, so, so Shunta, by the way, the little brother, he's watching baseball on TV. That's going to matter in a second. I mean, while we get Serrano in the Aussie and Mari, I'll talk about how, well, this is obviously, you know, Mr. Arise, where this is a bad guy thing. And we're like, well, fucking duh, right? Yeah, they explained that because she has stopped two evil plans now, if people purify their minds, less people will go to hell and the devils will lose their place to live.

Yes. And I'm just picturing like the devil putting up a go-fun me on their Facebook. I mostly just inhabit people with anxiety, but it's been a terrible couple of months. I also have cash habits. Well, I was thinking it was the opposite thing. It's like, yeah, if people go to hell, if fewer people go to hell, the devils will lose their place to live. Yeah, but if more people go to hell, the area is going to start filling up with like coffee shops and brunch places and then the ranch and hell are going to go up.

Yeah. Yeah, the demons come to fall in love. They're damned if they do. Damned if they don't. Yeah. Oh my god. Just a demon waiting behind me at Starbucks. Oh my God, they have oatmeal.

You they have all the milks that they have on the website. Just order God. Yeah. Oh, and then just then on the baseball game on TV, we see Mr. Array rising up on the passenger version of the probe droid from Empire Strikes Back. We found it everybody. There's the tentacles. I knew this movie was going to give us tentacles eventually. I think he's hijacked the floating platform and bison rides in the street height of hills. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. There you go. He never acknowledges that his giant floating

platform has tentacles in the entire, he's just like, hello, everyone. I have an announcement. I'm like, we're not going to talk about the platform. We're not. This is why I need to be in the movie. Throw something, use your psychic powers and also shout in that baseball stadium like, well, the fuck's up with your platform, man? It's got tentacles. They don't seem to be functioning. And helping it fly. There's a reason he doesn't take questions at the end of his speech, because he knows that every single question is going to be about the 10th of all. Yeah.

And he's like, I, we have a big announcement. He's got sciaco with him. He's like, I, sciaco, the beautiful high school girl that all of your new scars keep talking about how fuckable she is. She's with me. And she's going to tell all of you who the real reincarnation of the Buddha is, right? And then he turns to her and he's like, tell him it's me or I'm gonna blow everybody up. I feel like you have this conversation backstage, Mr. Arral. It is very amateur.

Yeah, his pun is for her to say under very, very obvious duress and threat of death that he's a super good guy. In front of everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody can see the threat. Well, he's riding a black vehicle with tentacles. You're working against yourself here, man. You're out smart and you're self-missor, right? Yeah. And so it just ended Yuki and Mari and the cops will show up and they yell at him, let her go and stop insulting the name of the Buddha. Yeah, let it go. And also like second to request, more of a side request if anything, stop by the Mal thing Buddha.

But like it's, it's the let it go. Melody is what I'm here to say. Right. So yeah, so he's, she's like, the real Buddha is the real Buddha is and then she flashes back to the entire movie because the entire I was impressed. Yeah, because we get a lot of flashback in the happy science called films, but she does the whole thing. I thought for a second, I thought I had hit like play from beginning on YouTube. It's like when you show up late into a football game on Amazon or whatever and it's like,

do you want to summarize all the important plays? Oh, yeah, please, please, thank you. Yeah, but the way she goes on about like the real boot is she's slow rolls it. Like she's going to reveal that the real boot is the winner of X factor this year. Winding up the tension. Try and open up the envelope. Yeah. It turns out to be Rudy Giuliani and a costume Ken John walks off that. But she goes, the real boot is Serrano, who no one in the stadium would have ever heard of and a riot gets so mad that he knocks her over with his demon canesus. Luckily Yuki catches her.

So her 300 foot fall is not really problematic. It's fine because he catches her. He runs anything catch us up from a 300 foot fall, which is like a third of a tsunami's height. Yeah, no, but she's fine. Well, no, she's not actually her spirit has been taken out of her body by the demon Kinesis. Right. He holds it up like he stole her Barbie. Right. He's her soul, but he's just like, uh-oh, still got it. And he's also like trying to keep the crowd here, which I love. He's like, hey, everybody.

She meant to say she said the other guy. Please ignore the very obvious demon tentacle craft. I said hands down, not taking questions about the tentacle craft. Well, and he goes like, I'm the boot is what she meant to say. And then everyone who we hear all the people in the crowd going, well, maybe he is the boot actually would make a lot of sense if he was the Buddha. I really have a point of having a tattoo. So he commands everybody to all stand up and celebrate his Buddhahood. But just then

Serrano shows up to fucking God fight him. We have a Buddha fight. Buddha fight. Binnib, binnib, binnib, binnib, binnib. Which I've been so how this how this fight goes like bad Buddha sends out some dementors from Harry Potter a good Buddha magic disorder of nowhere and like sides all the down. Yeah, then bad Buddha sets himself on fire, which to be honest, pretty on Brun for Buddhists. So at one point he grabs his four stick. Like I want to be very clear. At one point, bad Buddha, there's just like a black shadow rod, which is yes, surprisingly fuzzed out.

He squeezes it and Serrano is like, Oh, you know, okay. Four stick squeezing. I guess if you're the bad Buddha, that is in play. Right, right. No, yeah, he throws all his like black smoke dicks out at the crowd and then Serrano makes these comically oversized wings appear to protect everybody. The size of the base ball. Yeah. Yeah. So, I wanted him to have him on for the

rest of the moon. Like you just dragging him. Oh, sorry. He's like 700 feet. There's like half a half a fucking tsunami. What you manifest these motherfuckers say? Say, and then bad, then evil but it turns into like a 30 foot high samurai vampire with absolutely fierce mascara, which is an interesting choice. Yes. Uh-huh. And you know, Serrano's kicking the samurai demons ass, but the samurai demons like,

uh-uh, I still have sciaco's soul and she's your disciple. So you have to do what I say, right? And then just when this movie should just fucking end, it doesn't, instead we get like Serrano flashing back to all his previous lives in the bullshit made up at Lantis land that happy science cult house. Yeah. Which include clips from two of the movies we've already. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes be part of this cinematic universe. Can I say it sucks? It sucks to know these things. Yeah, this

wasn't the DC universe by a distance. It's like when you're talking to someone and they suddenly know a lot about methadone and you have to be like real chill about it. That's how I felt knowing that I recognize the movies. So yes, so it like Serrano goes on more bullshit spirit monologue nonsense. The stadium is rapid. That's the fantasy of this movie 50,000 people all listening to this bullshit without yawning or whatever. No, if you at a baseball game and a 30-foot samurai vampire in fierce makeup was fighting a Buddha with wings the side of a baseball stadium. You'd listen to what this is. No, that's better than most baseball games I will admit. Yeah, most interesting thing. And then a fucking, a white elephant comes stomping into the scene. With Barry, by the way, please tell me that's the stapof Marshmallow man vibe as he comes

for sure. Right. Yes. So good Buddha is stood on top of an elephant that is three times his side. But then they are both outlined by the figure of a man twice the size of that. Yeah. Who draws a pentagram in the air that kills bad butter. And it is both crazy than that sounds and also way less interesting than that. I feel like they're going to have a company rap meeting where the elephant's going

to be like, Hey, man, when I show up, you don't just stand on me to do spells. Okay. I need to do toss, ginseng people or like a little stompy kick thing because that was, I'm not a chair, Craig. Okay. I'm not a chair. I'm a giant. I am some percentage of a tsunami and I deserve the respect that you gave giant shadow Lamu. That's all I'm saying. So yeah. So but then I guess he pentagrams the demon to death. Mr. Aray is like waking up from his stupor and Serrano lectures him for being such a bad Buddha.

Feels like a weird moment, right? Feels like a weird moment to be like, it was bad of you to be filled with demons. It's like, we all get it, man. You stood on a giant elephant with lamo behind you. I feel like we're past the like, whether or not who's in the right who's in the wrong conversation. I just really wanted the crowd in the baseball team to get bulged by this, as balled by this monologue, then this conversation as I am, and just start like booing. And then to hit that like take me to the ball game song. The background is all just around this. Sorry, I need to grind our entire podcast.

Yes, we Marsh. Do you think that the lyrics to take me out to the ball game are take me to the ball game? No, I did think that yes. Yeah. I'm glad you're white because this is a cultural exchange that never fails to fascinate me. Yeah, but, but a rye realizes that Serrano is obviously the real Buddha because of the elephant and everything. So he switches to the good guy called meanwhile though, Syaco is still spiritlessly laying

in between all the other named characters. So Yuki has to use his scream gold light halo powers to enter into her death state and love her back to life. Yeah. But it's like a you just had a big fight and you're telling someone you love the moment. It's not like a Yuki. I have always loved you and with my whole heart, they're just sort of hanging out in zero gravity where he's being like, I mean, I guess if having labels is important to you, they're between us, whatever. But I just think externally, whatever labels you want to maybe boyfriend, girlfriend,

whatever. And the thing is, they're in zero gravity because she's lying like horizontally and he stood at her head, like stood up, holding her head head and it just makes him look like he's the absolute master of life as a feather stiff as a board. Right. I don't need all those other guys. I can just stand it yet. Okay.

When you were talking about the angles and the zero gravity, I had a very different plan in mind, but I like your plan. I like stiff as a boardmate. Now we know how she's stay. It's the ultimate magic trick. We're given away the secrets. So he kisses her and a great big light shines and she comes back to life. And that's where we get my best worst suddenly because this was made, I think this has been

2009 or whatever. And we get these CGI angels. Everything else has been like drawn animation, right? But so now that we get these CGI angels that would have been disappointing if you'd seen them in like a fucking toothpaste commercial in 1998, right? These things to me, my only possible note at this point is and then nonsense.

Yes, yes, actually. Yeah, this is final fantasy, end of a final fantasy game levels of like What is happening? So there's also there's a moment where like because mr. Shorano's like taking us out with all his great fucking Pablo again, there's a moment where he says the exact same line twice. Yes, and nobody acknowledged like the record skipped or something. It's really disoriented.

It's like the voice actor did like a second take on the line because he flipped it the first time. Was that was so warning? I'll just keep going. And they left that in. That's all I can think is happening. They were like, look, we didn't make any cuts for the guy who did the Australian voices. We're not making any cuts for him. I also, I just have to point this out that he also promises to build Buddha land together. And if you're not picturing like a defunct Buddhist version of Dollywood, you are not the woman I married. But yes, just kids riding around in a like fucking little slow moving train things. Like the points to start back at the beginning.

I know. I know. Oh, our coach just just completely flat and very slow. Yeah. So yeah. And then there's another fucking scene somehow, right? We get the awesome guy. You guys were all wondering how his story wrapped up, right?

What does he get to the airport? Okay. No. So we get to him at the airport. He's leaving to tell Australia all about the Buddha. And I'm like, you know, they have TVs there too in Australia. It's like a six or seven hour flight from where they are right now. It's not like he, because he talks about, I'm from down under, I'm all white in Australia.

It's like, it's like me going to the other side of Europe. It's not that far. Right. There are Japanese people, there lots of Japanese people in Australia. Yeah. Yeah. And we learn that Saiko can still see spirit, light and demon smoke, but she's learned to control it now. As though any of that mattered at any point in the fucking

movie. And then they all laugh. Like it's the end of a fucking Scooby Doo cartoon. Freeze frame style, yes. Yeah. And then we get the credits, which like is my cue to turn them off. But Marsh watched this before. I didn't already written all these fucking notes. And I'm like, Oh, God, damn it. Now I have to watch the fucking credits too. Oh, my, this is the reminding the t-shirt we have homework. Oh, God. Just so you know, so just so you know, it was a six minute credit song. It was. Oh God, it's like, look up at the sky. We can see the sky. The singer is so out of tune, but in a really disinterested way.

And it's very much like Eli vamping a song as part of shenanigans the life show. Right, yes. Energy. The intonation is all out in weird ways to say, there is one, and only one son in the sky. There is only one Buddha. He one and only one son in the sky. That is only one. But he is the only one on this earth.

Yeah. Okay. And listeners at home, listeners at home, nobody break it to Mars that all animes end that way. I don't think he can take it. I don't think he can take it. Yeah, I swear if I catch any of you sending him the end of full metal alchemist and telling him that's how it ended in the end.

That's once we have blacklisted, darn it. But that is the end of full middle alchemist and telling him that's how it ended in the end of the best ones we have. Blacklisted, darn it. But that is the end. I guess that's going to do a part review of the rebirth of Buddha, but that's not going to do it for the episode just yet, because we still need to get you all fired up for the next one. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. Well, Noah, I'll be a QED next week. So we've got something a temporarily special for you. We'll be watching born in Tamafia to Oh, he's on a get ahead. We'll see how that goes. Oh, speaking of QED, the best conference and skepticism coming up on September 23rd and 24th at beautiful Manchester England, are there still tickets available? If so, where would one go to acquire them?

They're all like, Haas, that doesn't take us. It's very few tickets left at this point, So where would one go to acquire them? There are. There are like half a dozen tickets. There's very few tickets left at this point, but people should go to QED Kong.org forward slash tickets. You can buy your in-person tickets if it is too soon to, I mean, it's next week. If it's too close, the events need to fly all the way to Manchester. You can watch it from the comfort of your very own home for like $50. It's 39 pounds for an online streaming ticket, which will get you access to at least the main stage of QED. Maybe a little bit more. We're going to see

what we can do. So yeah, people should definitely go to QEDcon.org, forward slash tickets. You can get your streaming ticket there. You can watch all the material. We're going to be broadcasting on YouTube for like two weeks, up until two weeks after the event. So yeah, definitely, definitely do that. It's going to be such a huge amount of fun. And you're going to want to watch because I am going to be doing some stuff on that main stage. Let me tell you what I will. I don't think you're going to do stuff. Alright, some things. So with that to look forward to, we're going to bring episode 422 to a merciful close. Once again, huge thanks to all the Patreon donors to help make this show go. If you'd like to catch up on their range, you can

make a pre-episode donation of patreon.com slash God off on there by earning only access to an after version of every episode. I'm just playing through it. You can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review and by sharing this show on all your various social media platforms. If you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, the scathing ADS edition need a

D&E minus and the scapricraft available wherever podcast live. If you have questions, comments, a sit about a suggestion to give out God off and visit gmail.com. Tim Robster takes care of our social media. Our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slotnik of the Jeff So Mars, all the other music was written and performed by our audio engineer,

Morgan Kirkman was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a check in your life this week for Heathen, right? Neil Abbas, Nick, I'm Nolusions, promising to work hard to earn another chunk next week until then. We'll leave you with a breakfast club close. Rio Acala died seven months ago,

which means he's only two months from coming back to lead the happy science cult as a baby. Oh, there you go. Akawa's demise led to a serious internal discussion about a direct sequel to this one called The Red Death of Buddha. Eli's knowledge of happy science cult cinematic universe started to rival his Christian movie knowledge, and he thought long and hard about his life choices. Didn't he, though? and he thought long and hard about his life choices. Yeah, me though. Hmm.

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