God Awful Movies - 426: The Exorcist: Believer

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

This week, Werewolf Ambulance drops in for an atheist review of The Exorcist: Believer, the story of the original Exorcist with one of those stupid "Co-exist" stickers slapped over the top of it. --- Check out Werewolf Ambulance here: https://www.werewolfambulance.com/ --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

Inflation is everywhere. Seriously, make it stop. Thankfully, Mint Mobile is giving you a much needed break on your wireless bill. Mint Mobile lets you order from home and save a ton with phone plans starting at just $15 a month. Order today at MintMobile.com slash Gam. By the way, in case you're worried that this is like a scene that you wouldn't be laughing at, the motif they went for the demon was six saggy boobs. So don't worry that you would take it too seriously. Why does the demon have so many boobs? I know. To feed the many Catherine's demon babies. To feed the many

unfortunate white children under its control now. Hi, I'm titula. It's honestly better than Pizzuzu. That awful movie. Movie. Welcome back to the Gamcast where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema because all the good movie review show ideas were taken. I'm your host Eli Bosnick, no illusions in Heathenwright will be unable to join us this week but sitting 360 four miles to my west are returning guest massacres Alan and Katie

from the werewolf ambulance podcast Alan Katie. It's just the three of us this week. Are you ready to make this Mojo Dojo Kasa podcast our own? Yeah. Thank you so much for having us back. It's such a pleasure and delight to be here. Also, to heathen Noah know that neither Alan or I is capable of being the adult in the room for very long. I cannot tell you how many talking to I have gotten in the course of this week from various members. I think a couple of audience members have also been like, you like, you got to take this seriously. You're not going to them. Earlier in the year, Noah may have let me quote unquote vamp some ads, and I may have

produced 20 minutes of stone d rambling about draft King. So a lot of people are on edge listening to the initial cut of this episode, but they've left us on our own. It's party time. It's risky business. A movie you should not revisit if you want to still enjoy us. So tell us, Alan, what will we be breaking down today? Well, we'll be breaking down the in theaters, the exorcist, the believer, or the believer. Oh, yeah. And Katie, oh man, I got a challenge for you this week. How bad was this movie?

Really bad. If you loved the original exorcist film, but thought it had a bit too much atmosphere, scarce, special effects, shock, cultural relevancy, and you were worried that the end was too much of a bummer. You deserve this movie. You do deserve this movie. You truly do. Oh, man, I wish this could be put better than John Carpenter in a recent interview, who basically spent an entire interview about

an unrelated project being like, how do you fuck up an exorcist movie? There's a can. There's a demon. Why'd you mess it up? So bad for. Well, this is actually a master class in doing that. Yeah, truly. Truly, this should be shown in film schools like way before positive movies.

You're gonna learn a lot more. And speaking of which, is there anything you guys would like to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? I would like to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? I would like to nominate this for the best worst at Goesh Heart String Tug jobs. Oh boy, aren't they? This movie might as well like have a three-legged puppy occasionally limp into frame and be like,

there are stakes, I promise. His name is lucky. I promise. His name is lucky. I'm going to take the easy one, which is best worst jump scares. Hell yeah. We do a lot of bad horror movies. It's kind of our thing. Rarely have I seen a jump scare of a drawer opening.

A drawer opening, a person existing. We watched Wes Craven's wishmaster for our Patreon bonus this month. And after having seen believer, I was like, I guess it does get better. Alan just gave me a knowing look because my high school boyfriend's email was wishmaster666 at hotmail.com. Nice. Yeah. Let me guess, he turned out to be a great dude. Oh, yes, we're married. What? Oh, no, no, no, that's a very serious. I was backing so hard, I was like, there's no way

that guy didn't hit like a puppy with his car. Oh, yeah. Go to jail for making meth in his own tailpipe or something crazy like that. There's also no way he wasn't bummed that Wishmaster 420 was already taking care of Oh yeah, for sure. For sure. And 420, then he tried Wishmaster 69 and then he was like, I guess 666, to go. This will do. Yeah. And I'm going to go with best worst consequences. We're going to talk about it like 48 seconds before the end. But like, this is drag me to hell levels of, well, I don't think that person deserved that

fame when it comes to moving. Oh, we'll get to it. All right. Well, we have a lot of, um, deeply problematic inclusion to discuss. So we're going to take a quick break. And when we come back, we'll dive into all the silliness that is. Exorcist believer. The show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hi, I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Katie. And I'm Alan. You know, we have a lot of fun with this possession stuff

here on God of the Movies, but it's always worth reminding you that if you or a loved one is experiencing demonic possession, no, you aren't. No, you are not. That's right. And because demons aren't real and mental health crisis are, we'd like to remind you about better help online therapy. That's right, Alan. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try.

It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Make your brain your friend with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash awful today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help, h-e-l-p.com slash awful. Better help, because the ideas in this movie are homicidally dangerous

okay everyone welcome to the first writers meeting for exorcist believer come on guys I know you might not be super excited to make the fourth exorcist movie. Fifth, if you count the prequel. Fifth, if you count the prequel, thank you. But think of this as your chance to, you know, put your own exciting spin on the genre, right? Maybe 10 or 20 years from now, people will say, yeah, but exorcist believer is when the series got really good. You know what? He's right.

We've made four movies about spooky kids with twisting heads. This is our chance to reverse expectations. Maybe we could talk about the harm real life exorcisms due to people, or just the dangerous power of belief in general. Or, or, two spooky kids with twisting heads. I love it! Okay. Hey, I will never replace us. For sure. or two spooky kids with twisting heads. I love it! Okay.

Hey, I will never replace us. For sure. And we're back, and we're gonna emerge into the opening credits after 30 fucking minutes of previews in the theater. My God, either way, we're gonna start with some super problematic depictions of Haiti. What a choice they made. I mean, everyone likes to watch dog fighting, don't they?

Yes, it is literally the first shot we have of Haiti, the country, is two stray dogs fighting on the beach. It's also the first pop scare of the movie. I don't know if you can introduce yourself with a pop scare, but this movie dries it. And I would say fails at it. Once you pop, you can't stop making terrible pop skaters. Yeah. And so we're going to watch this pregnant lady sort of wander around. What the director of this movie thinks poverty torn Haiti looks like where she's just being offered various bobbles from adorable, sort of a Dickensian orphans that just strewn the streets

and beaches of Haiti apparently. For her husband to take photos of because when they're poor, they don't need to consent to having their photograph taken. Yes, of course. Yeah, no, you're just allowed to take pictures of them. He does technically ask, but does not wait for the answer of my photograph. He's just like photograph and the kids like,

what? And he's like, click, great. Excellent. And I'm gonna put this on a magazine and make money off your face. You've noticed that I'm very handsome, youngsters. So you'll allow this. Yeah, exactly.

And then one of the things that happens in this Haiti tour is she goes through like a blessing ceremony. And I went down a little bit of a rabbit hole here because by the way, I correct me if I'm wrong. Does this have anything to do with the rest of the movie? Only that, that blessing is the thing that saves Angela in the end. Oh, okay. That's thank you. That was my question because I feel like it was more of an eny-meanie, mindy, mo situation. The only way I know that is because they show the blessing at the end of the movie.

Okay. Okay. But I mean, if I can zoom out the camera a bit, that means the blessing is like, look, your dad's gonna need to handle a somewhat sensitive situation between two. I'm going to go ahead and say, Riddle, admitting demons when you're around 16 or 17. So that's when this blessing's really going to kick in. Oh, my lord. The blessing scene is also, it's like a bit ominous. Like, yeah, I don't, maybe I just feel that way about religious rights in general, but it felt like a little danger.

No, for sure. Look at that vibe. Same, same, same. Also, like, I thought that this movie was setting us up to be like, ah, you got to be careful. Those extremely poor Haitians will curse your baby. Yes. But they just were unable to shoot anyone's religion, but their own without it looking

spooky. Yeah. Much like all Americans, we just want to see them have an earthquake and then we'll go about our business. Oh, I'm glad you mentioned it. Yeah, because now we're going to cut over to a giant gold-covered church. No, the movie will never point out that there's a problem with that and the giant poverty stuff we saw a couple of seconds before.

Sure. And then, yeah, we watch an earthquake in Haiti. And again, I just have to point out, imagine if another country made a movie where they used 9 11 as the opening for their spooky horror movie, we would kill the director with a drone. I had to Google it because I was like, there's no way that that Haitian earthquake was in 2013. There's no way they're referencing that actual event that happened and killed a bunch. There's no, oh, oh, no. Y'all know they did that.

Sure are. Sure. So much scarier than whatever else this movie has to offer is these people losing their homes and families and we're supposed to feel sad for this American couple. Yeah. Yeah. Truly, the movie is about to be like, don't worry about it. That's really just for the dad's backstory.

Don't worry about the earthquakes in 80. We know that we're playing to an American audience. We're begging you, please do not think about the earthquakes in 80. And the only other thing I want to point out is that the mom, of course, who is pregnant gets squooshed, right, but she gets squooshed in very center stage dramatic lighting, which I appreciate it. Sure. Like, you'd think it would be hard to find someone who was getting squooshed in a earthquake,

but she's really front and center when it comes to this particular earthquake. And she whispers something that feels very important to the plot, but it could not make out at all what she was saying. Spoiler alert, no, it is not. It is the most basic of requests. This is not a swing away moment. Let's let's spoil that right there. And then we cut to the hospital,

and I'm only going to point this out because it's going to be used as a gotcha as I think one of the funniest gotchas later in the movie. Yes. We see the doctor walking up and he's like, hey, we're in Haiti. So you have to choose between the life of your wife or your baby and then blackout.

I do like that. Leslie Odom Jr. says, I only speak English. Not like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. I only speak English. She's like, you know, I only speak English. You want to talk to me? Me? Leslie Odom Jr. You'll speak English. Yeah. You want to talk to me? Me? Leslie Odom Jr.

You'll speak English. Yeah. Exactly. So now we're going to cut to Percy, Georgia sometime later. So same level of poverty as Haiti after the earthquake, just, you know, less sympathetic. And this is where we see that Leslie Odom Jr. has a daughter. So I guess we assume he chose the baby at this point. But I wrote in my notes, not me, sorry, Max, but better to have flour and sugar than a

cake, you know what I mean, kid? Yeah, I would haunt my husband for the rest of his days if he hadn't chosen me. Like he would never get a fucking moments rest. Yeah, oh, every time he's up for like a dirty type of change, you're just floating there next to him. Oh, I'd love to help out, but you chose the baby over me. So I guess I'll just float here with my unfinished business. Just saying, hey, hey, remember me, remember me? I was actually hanging out with Madonna in heaven.

That's right. She's up there already. This is also where we get our second cheap pop scare of the movie, a hide and seek based pop scare. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. So this is the teen daughter we should introduce her.

This is Angela. And we know that she spends a lot of time thinking about her dead mom because she's a person with a dead mom in a horror movie and she has borrowed a scarf from the dead mom box that Leslie Odom Jr. has very prominently out in the middle of his home. Like you do. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dead mom shit. Exactly. Actually, my dead wife, not your dead mom. Oh. That's the vibe, right? Yeah.

Definitely the vibe because he catches her, right? In the drop off line of school, he's like, hey, hey, that's the vibe, right? Yeah, definitely the vibe because he catches her, right? In the drop-off line of school, he's like, hey, hey, that's mine. And she's like, it's my mom. And he's like, is it though? Just saying it was kind of like an Indiana Jones Swapsy situation. So maybe we'll have me to be more in and you just like being alive. You technically never met her. to me more and you just like being alive. You technically never met her.

So we cut into school Angela and her friend Catherine spoilers. She's going to be the other person filled with demons. They're making plans to go be mischief children in the in the wet hole. Yeah. Yes, the wet hole. That's where you do your best mischafing. Look, I can't speak for myself. Katie, I spent a lot of time talking with my friends about how to get into a wet hole in middle and high school. And we were never as successful as these girls were. It's a lot easier for girls to get into wet holes. It just is. Yeah. Fair. Yeah. Do you think you knew that she was going to be possessed because she looks almost exactly

like a young Linda Blair? She sure does. Mm-hmm. There was a little bit of that. There was also the fact that like every time the camera settled on them, the noise kept going like, oooh. For a second, I was like, does this movie just not like white people? And that's true.

Yeah. I just, I didn't realize how far of a call forward I was like, does this movie just not like white people? And that's true. Yeah. I just, I didn't realize how far of a call forward I was doing there. Also, we should mention that because this does come back up in a really disgusting way. The hide and go seek game was because Angela stole a pork product from her father and was hiding it from him. And that's why they were having a little fun game of hide the pork around the house. So it will come back. Oh, all right.

It does? Yeah. Okay. I don't know how it comes back either, but I'm putting a hard pin in that out. And I'm excited to hear how the pork products come back in. So we cut to dad at work. He's now a family photo photographer.

I just want to take a moment, because this scene doesn't matter at all. I almost wrote in our notes like, oh, we should just skip this scene. except a bunch of spooky demon stuff happens in This scene and later related so I like to picture that like that family was going through their own demonic possession And we just never heard about it in the movie because there's a bunch of like pop scares and weird shit that happened Yeah, it's it's interspersed with Jack Hammering and the child is screaming and it's like, well, yeah, that child's got a demon in him.

So I assume this was a call back to the beginning of the first exorcist when Max von Seedow is having to take his vitro glycerin tablets because there's all the noise in. A rock, there's like the guys banging their head and stuff and I assume that's what this was supposed to be calling back to. Well, it's like the dog fight at the beginning. I love this. You're bringing the u banging their head and stuff. And I assume that's what this was supposed to be calling back to. But it's like the dog fight at the beginning.

I love this. You're bringing the uvra full circle, Alan. I appreciate this. This is why we call in Wehrwell family. These are the insights we get. But yeah, so he gets home from work. And I'm just going to tell you podcast audience, nothing happens in this scene. That does not stop it from being I counted four and a half minutes of the dad

Wandering around into various nothing pop scares like literally at one point a drive the KT's this in the beginning a drawer opens and the movie's like Hard movie we can't It's their junk drawer. It's got scotch fucking tape I mean if it were not Leslie Odom Jr., I would not watch the scene. Like the fact that he is actually a good actor. Yeah, so engaging. Oh, God, so hunky.

So, where a robe. Oh, yeah. Yes, Leslie Odom Jr., and I look, I am hesitant to say this. I think it kind of affects the movie, how hot it is, because there are several points in the movie where I'm supposed to be taking a moment very seriously and I'm like, I just just fabulous. Like his. I want a whole.

I want him to hug me while I cry. Oh, what? Oh, the kids are filled with demons. Yeah. So, um, could you sing that progressive theme song to me real quick? Oh, yeah. I do have one more quick Leslie Odom, junior being hot thing. Please. Could you sing that progressive theme song to me real quick? Oh, yeah. I do have one more quick, Leslie Odom, Jr. being hot thing.

Please. This was specific for you. Yeah. Did you notice that he was wearing the Axle Foley 3-4 sleeve sweatshirt in the beginning of the movie? I didn't, but I felt some, I felt a pool in my uterus. So I knew that something was happening. We've also not mentioned that his name is Victor

and his daughter is Angela, which is very ham-fisted in terms of their roles in this film. You know, you think those names mean anything? Oh, that's what he was saying. Anything. It's amazing. Her name, his name isn't victim and her name is in like,

Demangela. But at the end of this scene, he wanders around his popcare house for a little bit. Then he calls Catherine's parents to be like, Hey, where's our daughters? And they're like, yeah, they said they were with you. The old switcher, and you ever do this to your parents as kids? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Classic technique. Well, my parents weren't going to call and find out where I was. Yeah. Katie's parents were like, Kepher. Kim, I'm going to be on the moon. Oh, it's wet, whatever hole she's in. But these are good parents, because it's a modern exorcist movie. So now they're searching through the woods for the girls.

And this is the first time where I was like, okay, these families, there's definitely racial tension going up because Leslie Odom Jr. Victor is calling both girls names in their little mini search parties, but the White family is only calling their daughters name. So I have a casting question. Do you cast Norbert Leo Butts, which is the father of Catherine, just to be an unlikable character? I feel like everything I've ever seen in many, like, uh, buddy.

Yeah, he's certainly that character, isn't he? Man has a type. Man has a type. He is, he is communicating what he's there. But dad goes down into the wet hole. The wet hole will be very important. Goes down into the wet hole and he gets pops cared by a snake, but then he finds a shoe. Hey, I got nothing for you podcast on either just the movie, by the way, if you're hoping something's going to happen, we got like 20 minutes until a thing takes place. Yeah. So now they go to the police station and this scene, this is where the movie went from like, oh, this is kind of a lame horror movie too.

Oh, this is a hilariously lame horror movie because white dad is punching a hole in the drywall because they didn't have the daughter waiting for him at the police station. What is he upset about? No, this guy is the worst. Norbert. He might as well be at a school board meeting like mad about a book that has a gay penguin editor or something like. He's completely on the road.

It's so bad that at one point the cop has to be like, Hey, hey, guys, guys relax. It's just your missing daughter. It's okay. What are you so upset about? She never even knew your wife. Right. Exactly. The most important move person in this film. I understand why these people are upset. Okay, they actually met their kid, but you need to relax, Victor. So now we get for a looking for the girl's montage accompanied for no reason by the jabber walking. Why is this supposed to signify that we are now going through the looking glass.

This is when we will find the demons possess children. Oh, how subtle. Oh, how subtle. Very subtle. Alan, is this a great movie and you forgot to tell us? I think this might be a great movie. Nah, son, it's dumb. I have to tell you that Alan and I were hanging out a couple of weeks ago and I like fearfully said to him, like, what if it's actually good? And he was like, it won't be. It won't be. No, I felt safe in this one. Sometimes in theaters, we like to let him release for a little bit, see a couple of the reviews. I saw the preview for this thing and I was like, no, I was a safe bet. This one goes on the calendar. This is a Kevin Sorbo appearance ask movie. I know what's what's coming in this one. It would have made it better. This

is where we get, I think one of my favorite scenes of the movie, if not my favorite scene of the movie, which is the him doing good cop, bad cop with the unhoused people in the homeless shelter. Oh my God. So this is my, this is my pork call back. Okay. Alright. There it is. Because as you know, all homeless men are monsters.

Oh my God. Yes. Let's internalize that. They're just absolute villains, no matter what they're doing, they're going to be villainous. We don't agree on this. Yeah. And he's like, well, some kids come to the woods and look for stuff like this. It puts a hot dog through the hole in his finger.

All right. And do he makes a hole with his fingers? Does it have a hole in his finger? It's not that weird. And he does it for so long. So long. So long. Because what happens is they're very clearly getting the shot, right?

The director's like, just do it for a bit. We'll do a cut to Leslie flipping the table and yelling at you. But for some reason, he was like, taken a bite of his sandwich. So he's like, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. Now I take it out a little bit and I rub it around the sides and I put it back in. I'm going to hit the mustard spot. Fucking insane. So he flips the table and he's mad at those homeless people.

That never again, it never comes back. Yeah, it's literally just to be mean to unhoused people. Yeah, it's literally to try to be scary. Yeah, because they were sitting around. just to be mean to unhoused people. Yes. It's literally to try to be scary. Yeah. Because they were sitting around. They were like, guys, we forgot to make a movie except for the last 20 minutes. We're the fucking super troopers.

So what are creepy? And someone was like, people who were at an economic disadvantage. And he was like, perfect. Yeah. It's not all seen where we infer their all rapists. Yeah. I just kept thinking like, if ch Chad is kinder to unhoused people

than your movie is, you fucked up. You done fucked up. Ha, ha. So that night he gets home, and again, he creeps through the house creepily for truly an infinite amount of time, but then he opens the door and discovers that he is, okay, correct me if I'm wrong, Alan, you really catch in the uvra of this bad boy, but Katie, opens the door and discovers that he is, okay, correct me if I'm wrong,

Alan, you really catch in the uvra of this bad boy, but Katie, if you know, too, his Penta-Costle neighbor slash boxing coach has invited a root magic practitioner to bless the house as a surprise, why does he have this connection to black magic? Yes, I can. How do I say this? It is a weird magic practitioner. He's a penicostle. I've been to a penicostle church.

It is who white. It is the Dutch buffet of religions. The idea that he might be like, you know, we should find those three African American women doing deep root magic that has its origins in like the ancient historicity of the continent of Africa. Oh my gosh. He might as well pull in moishi, the local rabbi to be like, yeah, no, I know I'm panacostle, but he's going to, he's going to do a hollow over your bed.

And again, without telling him, like this is a surprise gift. He has, like his daughter is missing. He comes home his front door is open. He's overjoyed for a moment. He comes in and he's like, oh, you've brought some other black people. Is it because I'm black?

Is it because I'm black? Yeah, by this movie. It's exactly what I wrote in my notes. It's like he definitely was just like, you know what I'll cheer my black friend up? Other black people. You know what it is, we've all been looking for the kids too widely. Let's get him some black people to look for it, you know, black. I made him some unseasoned potato salad.

And I probably, exactly, all they had to do was make him a unitarian and all of this would make for a fix sense. Yes. Okay. So this is what I was going to say. Like this movie, and we'll talk about it when it comes to it, is unitarian universalist exorcist, right? Which is a terrible idea and is part of the reason why it's amazing. That's a really good point. Yeah.

Yeah. It's just someone's, someone was like either attending a UU church or like their, their sister goes there while they were writing this movie and they were like, wait a second, I've got it. They were like, yeah, community is good. We like community, but what if we took it several steps further into the worst thing you can imagine? Yeah.

So we're now, I just have to point this out. We're now like 20 minutes into the movie and nothing actually scary has happened. Oh, I'm sorry, you didn't see that true? That's fair, yep, you know what, that's fair. That's fair, there was that drawer and there was that sausage gesture. So, but it's time to find the girls. So there's a farm guy and he's like,

I don't know why horror movies always do this. You guys have watched so many more horror movies than me. No one ever just like, there's never just an establishing shot in a guy's like, oh, look, the girls, the guy always has to be like, hey, Paul, I'm going to go get my large Rubbe Goldberg machine that is filled with marbles. And then, oops, I dropped one and it rolled under this sewer drain. So now I have to pry, oh, they're all the girls. There's to be a 19 step process every time. Yeah, he's looking for medicine for his dead horse. By the way, that horse went through the hardest

performance in this movie. I just like to throw that out there. They made that horse lie out there in the rain. He is very clearly pissed off about it. I hope he got OT. That's all I'm saying. I was reading about it. That horse is a bit of a diva. So there was a lot going on behind the scenes. I was like, good, good. I was reading about it. That horse is a bit of a diva, so there was a lot going on behind the scenes as well. We kind of like, good. I just assumed they dragged in a dead horse. I don't know. So, yes, the girls are in a, oh, loft, a barn loft farm somewhere far away, presumably.

Yeah. I guess, but they are found. And so now we cut to the hospital where they're being treated by racially segregated medical teams. What the fuck was this? What the fuck was this? Did the movie not realize that all the medical professionals they assigned to the black family were black and all the medical professionals they assigned

to the white family were white in the same hospital. That's what I was trying to figure out. Is it the same hospital? Or is it the hospital in the white hospital? No, because they wave at each other through the window. They do, I was filled with demons now, huh? Yeah, me too. Yeah, me too.

Well, at David Duke general, they like to keep. I'm just picturing the girls coming in on like twins, stretchers and the two med teams waiting there and one guy being like, do you want it? Yeah, no, we'll take that when you can take the, okay, I got an issue. Is Adam on today? Could you get him in here because we've, we've got one for him. If you know, wink, being wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink.

Absolutely bananas. I will point out that even though they are divided by race, luckily Angela, our African American girl, she gets the one doctor who has any bedside manner whatsoever. So good. The white doctors are like, so you have a fuck your kid. Is that probably why she wandered into the rain? Like you fuck her? Is that what the, is it the fucking of your kid that is the big problem? Hey, Catherine snap snap. Did your dad fuck you? Is that why you're mad right now? You seem upset.

And because we need to be reminded that the dad is a terrible person, even though he reminds us of every turn, he does all of the answering for her. So every time the doctor's asked her a question, he's like, and then he bails on the rape kit, which is super weird. Oh, I'll be outside for this. He sits there while they're like doing under the nails and doing the whole thing. And she's like, okay, well, now we're going to check you out. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, please.

I don't like this. This is yucky. Well, they have to do the old, the old hymen test. Yes, that is bizarre. These are teenage girls. Like, they have purie. I just don't, this is not how, that is bizarre. These are teenage girls. Like they have period. I just don't, this is not how rape gets work. Yeah, no, there's a topical joke for you.

What are they? TI? TI, the rapper has his doctor, check his daughter. Yes. Okay, there we go. We found it. We found it. Appreciate it.

That's good. We ever pre-release an episode that joke again. That's really gonna land. Yeah. And then we have a spooky moment where white girl, like, here's a baby crying in the hospital and she like slaps her hand against the window and like, look, I've been on flights with a crying baby. It's been my crying baby. I get it. I get it. You don't have to be filled with demons to be upset by a baby crying. But this does get her next door neighbor nurse who's trying to pray over her to stop praying. So I mean, whatever it takes. Yeah, exactly. Whatever shuts her up. I have to say, I think Ann Dowd is wasted on this film. She is way better than this movie deserves. Oh poor Ann Dowd. Ann Dowd was in an entirely entirely different film just doing a very serious possession

drama while everyone else was in the like, you know, two's company double mint gum of exorcist films. And I feel like they wrote her this monologue at the end where they're like, this is going to be your big dramatic moment. Then she read it and she was like, fuck. I'm hoping when they slid the napkin at Denny's across the table to tell her how much she was going to get paid, she just added three more zeros to it and slid it back across the table. They were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine. To be there, I'm pretty sure that that napkin said, we will pay for your meal at this

Denny's. The cheese like, no, zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero really. You're going to pay $30. I want to spoil something important for our audience here because I had to live with the disappointment, but our audience does not. We will never, ever get an explanation of what the fuck happened to these girls. The closer we're going to get is this scene right here. And so I'm counting on Alan, our Sherpa of the horror arts, if you will, to tell me what the fuck happened.

But basically they're in bed that night. Victor is putting Angela to bed and she says she wanted to talk to her mom. And so they played with the pendulum, something, something demon. Uh-huh. Yeah, you think you nailed it. Okay. Yeah. And they've been gone for three days, but only thought they were gone for a couple hours, which like I'm on board for that. That's some good

spookery. That's very spooky. And their feet are all torn apart from walking without shoes for 30 days or 30 miles. Yeah. Yeah. But why? Well, I mean, in the first exorcist, Reagan is playing alone with a Ouija board. And that's what's in the demon, Captain Howdy. Right. And in this movie, it's going into a wet hole with a necklace that's going to break it. Yeah. The feels like the demons are getting lazier, right?

It's just like, that kid passed a crystal shop. Can I get in there and say, I'm not allowed options these days. Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but the demon is Pazuzu. I mean, it should be Pazuzu, right? Based on the mythology of the series, yeah. Yeah. Because Ellen Berson, spoiler alert, we get an Ellen Berson. Look and fantastic at 90. Look at the phenomenal and criminally wasted. Yes. But when she comes into the room, she says, oh, I know you. Yeah. So it's Pizzuzu. They return. It must be.

Yeah. Pizzuzu. Although I do have questions, I mean, we'll get to it when we get to it, but I do have questions about whether or not this is one demon or two. Like is Pizzuzu doing two people's work? Like he has a bad manager in hell who's like, well, you know, ever since Carol left, we really need you to take on her workload while we transition. But we can look at a title change for you.

And Pizzuzu is like, oh, come on, man, this fucking blows. Or is Pazuzu like having someone shadow him like when you're working a food service job, right? This is Paul. He'll be following me on. Oh, God, damn it. Paul, you stone. Yeah, I'm pretty stoned. Oh, man. No, in the grand, given Paul any of my tips. In the grand tradition of how dumb this movie is, they bring in two heart monitors to beat as one. Oh, I can't say that you know that it's one demon. Which I felt had to be a call back to the exorcist too, the heretic where they would get their boot,

be boops matched up. Yes, where they matched up their beap boops. Yes, it's all coming together. So really this movie is good. It's great movie. Alan you've convinced us. Wait, Alan, what's that? Alan texted me. favorite movie. Alan texted me leaving the theater and he was like, I have to tell you I loved out. Oh, the truth comes out. It all comes out. So we have, we head over to White Girls House. She doesn't

do anything. Just, um, just spooky. Is this where her mother says, brush your teeth. We have church in the morning. Like brush your teeth anyway. You know, Jesus hates bad breath. Yeah, they only brush their teeth. We don't say it, but Christians only brush their teeth Saturday night, but they do it hard. They do it hard. If you do it once a week, but you do it real good, you only have to do it once a week. That's, that's good advice. Yeah. And we're supposed to have this scary scene here with Angela where he turns the lights off and then she turns them on and like, up here's real suddenly and quickly, except he's like kind of talking shit about her. So it seems like Angela like

runs from the bed and is like, well, the fuck did you just say? They were really not going for funny, but it's fucking hilarious. He might as well be like, the demons right behind me. Do you want to know the greatest failing of my life? Oh, yes. I jumped at this jump scare. Yeah, I'm gonna I'll be turning in all my Halloween decorations after the since Alan no shame I jump at every jump scare no matter how lame I promise you I jumped at the dogfight and it was the first thing I had no sense is other than the dog fight to be surprised and I still was like drop my popcorn you're set through a half an hour of Taylor Swift adverb.ice. Yeah, well, that's true. I also jumped at the pop scare of the era's tour.

Yeah, that's true. So now it's time for us to get into full on possession time. He wakes up the next morning. He's made her a hearty breakfast of special pancakes, right? Yep, something rocky, and rocky road ice cream. And she has now Alan again, you've been sort of the torch bearer, the guiding light. Is the big scary thing that happens at this point in the movie that she has shat her bed? No, because when she gets out of the bed, her under her pajamas are not soiled. So she just has been

farting. Yes, it changed the sheets. And I was like, well, I've been there. He pulls back the sheet and gives it like a sniff. Yeah. Yeah. I have expected it to be that she had menstruated. They were like, no, it's a evil. It's pure by birthday. Which is the theme of the first movie. And it is done in like a very interesting way. But then this one, it's just, no, no. I feel like the movie was going for she shit the bed, but they chickened out because they realized how hilarious that would be.

It would be really funny. Yeah. Also a fun fact, my toddler shits the bed all the time, not possessed. Yeah. A running theme for most of the rest of this movie will be possessed. People do the things my running theme for most of the rest of this movie will be possessed. People do the things my toddler does on a pretty regular basis. And he acts very grossed

out about pulling the sheets off the bed. It's like, you're a single parent. You've changed a number of dirty sheets. Oh, there's no shit on you. Yes. Barf P blood. Yeah. There's literally no amount of bodily fluids that scares a parent at this point. Totally. If I walked in and my sheets were covered in shit, I'd just be like, oh, nice, they're all contained within the sheets. That's cool. It's not going to get through the mattress pad. When my child vomits, my instinct is to try to catch it in my bare hands. I don't know why, but it's a parental instinct. And then I'm like like fuck. Yeah, yeah. While we're having gross that hour, I will say the one time my son has gotten really, really sick and vomited multiple times.

Me and Anna's solution was just to basically turn him at each other in a pseudo-water fight that we had in the middle of his room and four in the morning. So I'm good on whatever splashes on me for the rest of my life. I'm like, hey, second place. Good viewers. So yeah, so she's at the hospital. Oh, right, sorry. She also shits in the bathtub. I think is she, does she shit in the bathtub? Is that what's supposed to be happening? That bathtub is full of shit. Someone shit in that bathtub.

Someone shit in the bathtub. Okay. And then she like snuck out of the bathroom after shit in the bathtub. And wouldn't she? Well, now Alan, now Alan, let me call you out, Alan, because you were Mr. They didn't that she didn't shit in the bed. And now she did shit in the bathtub. Where did she shit? Where's your consistency, man? Well, the consistency is real water. Are you talking? Oh, that's true. That's true. Yeah. So she sits in the bed and then she hits in the bathtub, which by the way is fucking hilarious, right? Not at all the thing of a horror movie, right?

Stiffler should come out and be like, gotcha. But there's a, there's a sting on it, though, that's like scary water. Oh, that's just shit water. It's a stick is because his robe dips into it. He's like, whoa. Is that rope isigas because his robe dips into it. He's like, oh, is that robe is a secret to his success? He is so honky and he drops his toothbrush in there. That's a off scare. And then I said, a bait whether or not to tell himself that he dropped it in. He finds one of her fingernails on the tub too. Yeah. And it's, but how did

she have the time to shit? A lot of fingernail. You got hot. Yeah. Oh, do you tell me why you're shitting? You just rip your fingernails off as you do. I guess so. All right. Alan's a girl reddit. Once again, Alan is our guide.

And if you'd like to shit on your bed and then into your tub while losing your fingernail, you can sign up for Alan's TikTok course. Oh, Alan's doing a monthly newsletter that our Patreon's get about who's, um, should happen. It's called Shitton and Pickin. Shitton and Pickin, over at the Wherewithambulance Patreon, check it out. Hashtag Shitton and Pickin. But they're stinger on all of this is that just, she's going to have a seizure.

That'll be funny, right? Yeah. She takes them down with the scar. She will possess with that scar. Yeah, he hits his head pretty hard. He's fine. And then she has a seizure. That'll be funny, right? She takes them down with the scar. She will possess with that scar. Yeah, he hits his head pretty hard. He's fine. And then she has a seizure. Yeah.

And then she has a seizure. So now we cut over to the hospital where she's cussing everybody out. Hey, now to be fair, I have been hospitalized not for like a big angry episode, but because I'm a sad boy. Do they just yell calm down at you over and over again as you're being

hospitalized? Does that calm you down when someone does that for you? Absolutely. Yeah. I think they came in and they didn't like in a lower tone of voice because that was a sad boy. They just were like calm down, calm down, calm down. What's they sedate her?

The doctor yells were ready for the medical examiner if someone can call him and I thought that's for dead people. You don't generally call them when they're alive. No, no, this stuff I just injected with is bleach from the mouth in the corner. This is, we are going to need the medical examiner. Get the core in her. So, Angela's had her freak out.

That means it's time for a white girl to have her freak out and she's gonna have her freak out at church. Although, I will say the first quarter of this scene is just her at church acting the way I act at church, you know, being bored, taking your shoes off. Sure. Pick and shit up with your feet and then like in the bean. Okay. There, here's the thing. this movie is pretty cowardly. They definitely don't go all the way with the master band and kidded church. I'm like, good, I don't want them to

make young actors do that kind of stuff. I think it's actually pseudo like abusive to make children and act that kind of stuff and and on the edge of what we probably shouldn't portray with real human beings. But also the movie, the movie doesn't have the courage to not just have this girl like itch her leg and have the movie be like, huh? What if she was jerking off in church? Which again, is a call back to the first movie, but in a much dumber,

dumbed down watered down version, right? Like that scene of Reagan, and the crucifix is like heartbreaking, and setting and scary. And in this, it's just a child looking bored in church rubbing her vagina. And you're like, well, go for it. I mean, yeah, it's boring. Do you think William Friedkin was like looking down from heaven?

Because he went to heaven. He could offer you. Oh, sure. He could offer you. No man to heaven. Absolutely. And he's like, none of you hit a child in this movie yet. No. Like off scene. So they'll cry.

None of you had, she didn't even jam her mother's face and do her nether regions after master. I mean, what, what do we do in here? Yeah, exactly. Grow, grow a spine. Cowards. Gerrous pine. But then the big reveal, the big like pop scare reveal of this is that Catherine has gotten into the Eucharist and wine like a raccoon. It looks like when you realize you have mice. Yes. Like the movie is very sure this is a horrifying scene. And I was like, that's fucking hilarious, right? She literally comes in like double-fisting communion crackers. She's like, my guy, I're fucked up. I'm full of dreaming covered in wine.

Yes, covered in wine. She couldn't figure out butt chuggin. No. And she runs down the, well, she does the slow scary walk down the aisle. And she's like the body in the blood, the body in the blood. And the preacher who we're going to spend a little more time within this movie spoiler alert is absolutely terrified. Dude, this is the one job you are prepared for. Yes, this is where you should step in and do some helping. And he's just like, oh, man, fucking up my whole thing. I lost more. I was in my speech. Guys, there's an 11 year old saying my thing back to me mean just someone, someone puncture.

You both know that religion is just a con, right? Like they don't actually have any power. What's this? What? Okay. That was fine. That's fine. We can, we can move on. Body in the blood. It's just not being delivered with the gravitas that I think the movie would like because she's got like a little high pitch squeaky voice and she's just like, a batty in the blood, a batty in the blood. It almost sounds like a, like a cheerleading squad. I was saying along. Yeah, exactly. She's going to get started. Someone stands up and starts clapping.

All right. Well, Katherine just gave a pretty healthy audition for our other programs. So while we review her resume, we're going to take a quick break, but we'll be back in a flash with even more exorcist believer. Okay. Okay. How about Tuesday?

Nah, I've got hot, fast capowara flow. Capowara flow? Yeah, the teacher Chris is great. One time he spent an entire Zoom class reading texts from his estranged father. Ooh, okay, how about Saturday? No, that Zoom Zoom Zoom. I assume it's on Zoom. Actually, no, it's a Zoom book class set entirely to that Mazda commercial. zoom, zoom. I assume it's on zoom. Actually, no, it's a zoom book class

set entirely to that monster commercial. Oh, nice. Hey guys, what you doing? Oh, hey, Katie, we're just trying to find a time for lunch but we're both so busy with our variety of workout classes. It's really tough. Don't those classes get expensive? They sure do, but without variety in my workout,

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I know, so great. Workout classes are weird. I have returned, demon. Come for another try. Have you father? Give up the girl is mine. For now, demon, but this time he brought back up. Sorry. Um, who is this? I'm a Pentecostal minister from across town. Sorry, you're a Penta-Costle minister? Yeah, she's here to take you down. Okay, it's just, you guys know

that you have wildly conflicting worldviews, right? We both believe in defeating evil. I mean, do you? Because his church has put out several people to crease over the years that your church is on my side. Like, it's very explicit. Wait, you guys have? Yeah, it's the speaking and tongues thing.

Okay, Mr. Church maintenance fund. Oh, everyone always has to go to the kid fucking. You know what? I'm actually going to go. Oh! I'm cured! By the way, speaking and tongues has mentioned in the Bible. Yeah, by Matthew, that guy's a fucking nut bag. I said I was cured! By the way, speaking of tongues as mentioned in the Bible. Yeah, by Matthew, that guy's a fucking nut bag. I said I was cured.

Give us a minute. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. And we're back. When we left off, the movie was threatening to happen any minute now, so now we're going to cut to the hospital. Where white dead thinks maybe the

demonic possession might be stressed. Oh my God. Yes, hormones. Ormones. And hormones do not cause you to go into a trans state. Otherwise, I'd be listening to EDM every month. Yeah, I was going to say, yeah, who's like, no, no, I know this is when they get their period for the first time. That's when they cover themselves in sacramental wine and jerk off on a church pew, right? That's pretty standard. I read that in what to expect when you're expecting a teenager.

My name's the totally realistic Norbert butts. I'm Steve. I'm asshole face, poop face. And I'm here to tell you, it's probably just the periods. And this is, of course, where the movie has to get homicidaline negligent, right? This is where mom, who's a true believer, is like,

no, it's possible for children to be filled with demons and we should ignore the advice of these medical professionals, right? Yes, she goes hard on putting all of her eggs in the demon basket. Sure. She's like, well, Jesus and three days and Easter and hell and all that. How did you feel when she said, you know, Jesus, Jesus and three days and Easter and hell and all that.

How did you feel when she said, you know, Jesus was gone for three days? Like I wanted to eat hard boiled eggs and chocolate and be locked in my bedroom from 12 to 3 on Friday because that's when Jesus was on the crowd. Okay, it wasn't, but you know. I also want to throw out there. She says that Jesus went to hell when he died.

I never learned that as a child Catholic. I also didn't learn that. And Chad GBT thinks I made it up. So I'm pretty sure that's not a religion thing because he is sense to heaven. He's like, Sneakaboo, I'm here, touch my holes and they touch his holes and then he's like, whoa, and goes to heaven. It'd be weird for him to be like, oh, wait, you know what, I forgot my groceries and hell,

and like jumps down there to be like, yeah, sucks to suck down here. Yeah, I don't think that happened. Oh, my God. I mean, I don't, I, in the, in the, in the, in the back. I don't think that really helped.

Oh, no. To be fair, this is the safest podcast in which to say, I don't think any of that happened. It's just when I say it on a micro level. So you know, you got to zoom out a little. No, no, I get it. I get it. Yeah. So she's going to do some creepy girl stuff about and down here. She does like a, you got scraped. Doesn't she say you got scraped out like a rotten pumpkin? She sure fucking does, which is a terrible way to describe an abortion. Who scrapes out a rotten pumpkin?

That's the question that I had, Alan. Thank you. Yeah, why would you need to? One does not scrape out the rotten pumpkin. One leaves it on the porch until your wife gives up and throws it away. You just tip it off the porch into the garden and be like, maybe it'll pumpkin. We also get the obligatory, scary shots of a mental hospital.

Why do we need to demonize the mentally ill along with the homeless? Like I am not feeling good right now. This is like a problem at like they were going for some kind of problematic high score. And this the moving. Well, you do, you know, they're different than us, right? Yeah. They're different. They're broken.

They're different than us. They could attack at any moment, although I will say this is the first time that a movie has attempted to scare me with what mental hospitals actually look like. And I've talked about on the air, I've been an impatient care a couple of times in my life, life-saving, incredible moments impatient care a couple of times in my life, life saving incredible moments that I highly recommend for anyone in my mental health crisis. And these shots, aside from the scary music, are what a mental, you're just sitting around on couches while most people get one on one therapy.

So I was like, yeah, at least they don't have us like banging our heads on glass and, you know, vomiting into a crann bucket and then painting with it on the wall. And there was like, there was a nice comforter on the bed. And I was like, this is a step up from most horror movies visualization. But and doubt has to tell Victor about his daughters called channeling. So she's like, the first thing she says, she's like, I need to talk to you about something. And he's like, I don't believe in any of this. And she says, you don't believe in God. And he replies, I'm really baffled by this

because I feel like I know every flavor of atheism. Yes. I don't believe in the question. What question? Do you believe in God? What do you mean you don't believe in the question? I don't believe that's a really normal, very simple question. Yeah.

You kind of have to believe in it. Yeah. I mean, I'm not, I was a baffled. We're behind the brim. We're behind the brim. Some kind of boggles, yeah. I almost think that the people who made this movie can't fathom that someone would have been to answer no to, you don't believe in God.

That's a mess like, well, he's obviously got to give a Jordan Peterson ask response. Exactly. And they do there. They do a trope festival here, right? Dad explains that the only reason he's an atheist is because God killed his wife and And down gives the worst retort here. She's like, well, if you think about it, your daughter is a miracle. I don't know what my notes really.

It's kind of a shitty miracle handout. Sure is. And he says something like, I've got to check my miracle into the mental institution, which felt very insensitive to talk about his miracle that way. Yeah, I mean, solid burn, but a weird. Yeah. And then she, of course, gives the backstory to the scraped out, like a pumpkin comment. And again, she's doing this like, Oh, I was going to become a nun, but then I had sex and got pregnant and had to get an abortion and it's a terrible shame. And I've never told anybody before. And I really wanted Victor to just be like, well, it seems like the patriarchy was a real

problem in your life. Sorry. You want to be more a part of it is what you're asking. You'd like to represent them in some kind of super team is that what you're asking for? Yeah Sister Mary getting raw dog. Yeah, exactly So now we're gonna cut to him watching TV that night. This is where we get what's her name mom from first movie? Christmas Neil Christmas Neil. Yes, Ellen Berson. I was very excited to see her. Yeah, she is apparently on a book tour, which is a weird way to process the fact that your

daughter was filled with demons. But yeah, she's been on a book tour and she's written a book about her experiences and it sounds awfully similar to Victor than what he's going through. Mm-hmm. She also is just spitting out information like that's the one of the oldest rituals that all societies have. And it's like, is do you have facts to back this up? Yes, she says it's practiced across all of these times across all of these religions, which means it must be real and good.

Right. Look, there are no ancient things we did that are bad now. I think we can all agree on that. Oh, yeah. And I don't know why they left this in the movie, but the host is like, so I guess the question is, are demons real? And she's like, I mean, people think they are. I mean, I know which of those, think the problem is, Karen Berson. Do you know what she think the problem is? Oh, man. I have a movie that says, oh, no, movie, don't drag Ellen Berson into this.

No, but they will. They will. She proceeds to spend the next rest of the movie in a hospital bed, which is exactly what the same director did with Jamie Lee Curtis in the second Halloween of because he directed that new Halloween. It's right. Well, I feel like he just hates older women. Yeah, sure, which is. They're walking around.

Oh, it's sure you don't want to touch you. Yeah, yeah. And you get them. No, just injure them as much as you can and then leave them to spout wisdom from a hospital bed. Yeah, exactly. Listen, in the first movie, her daughter jams a crucifix into her crotch. What if and hear me out? This girl does it to her eyes. Eyes, yeah. We'll get to it. So he's going to visit her now and they're going to have,

I mean, to say every dumb conversation I've ever had with one of my wife's hippie friends, right? He's like, Hey, is wife's hippie friends. He's like, hey, is this demon stuff real? And she's like, placebo is a real. And I'm like, actually, they're wildly overestimated in most common language. But no, I get what you're saying. You get what he's saying. He's not a definition of placebo, not real. Yeah, exactly. I'm no expert. She also says, like, skepticism would only get you so far and I wrote really like the search for true things will only get you so far. I mean, I guess it won't get you to an answer as quickly as guessing or lying will.

And then again, because the movie felt the need to clarify this, he's like, I mean, were you there when your daughter was exercised and she's like, no, that's downstairs. Some guy threw himself out my window. It was a weird week. But why wasn't she allowed in the room? Why? Oh, it was the patriarchy. I feel like half of this movie is just what mega people think woke is. Yes, 100%. All of this is some like mega level producer being like, let's make one of those woke movies, but an exorcist, you know, we're like, all the religions are true and like, maybe things are the way they are because of that on those stuff and things.

We mean to the white people. That's the real horror in this movie. Yeah. This is also where we learn that Reagan has been on the run from her mother, which I did a little research online. I guess was part of the TV show or one of the other movies.

And I just love in a movie that is entirely inconsistent with its meat. Thus this director was like, no, guys, we got to respect the cannon. Reagan is on the run from her mom right now. We don't want to ruin the timeline. Okay. To be fair, she did abandon her child to a life of hanging out with her tutor and a mirrored apartment in tap dancing. She did. She's true. She's true. She's a tap dancing. She's great at the tap dancing. She was. Yeah. Rolling that big hex around. So yeah, at the tap dancing. She was. Yeah.

Rolling that big hex around. So yeah, then the priest shows up, right? And out has called this Catholic priest. This is kind of a subplot of the movie. We haven't talked about it a lot because it doesn't really matter. It's like, it's like when you throw a party and there's one friend who's like, oh, I'm not going to make it. And you're like, oh, okay.

Well, we'll see you next time. And then like, they take you through this huge drama about them trying to come to your party. And you're like, oh, I really didn't particularly care whether or not you came. You can, and they're like, no, no, I really want to be, that's how this priest treats this exorcist movie. Yeah, he's so, okay.

So he's Catholic, Catherine's family's pentacostal, is that what I'm to understand? I think they're just like, baptized, they were Baptist because, because neighbor slash boxing coach is Pentecostal. We know that because he does the talking in tongues. And then the root magic people, they're just part of the same board game group or something. I'm not going to get it. Okay, got it. They got brought into the film. I do like that they have the Catholic priest being like,

just totally flaccid. you know what I mean? Like just my hands are tied, you know? Completely useless, yeah. For what a refreshing representation of the Catholic Church of East movies. But yeah, they get pop scared by Angela and they're like, hey, look, if Angela's pop scaring us, we better go and check out what white girl is doing because she is doing a lot more to her family. And so they head over to her house to see how the white people are doing. Yeah, she's been busy. Yes, she has trashed the place. Why couldn't we see this? Why did you steal this from us moving? Honestly, there's so little action in this movie that

like a teenage girl tearing up a living room would have been so welcome. Just as many in deviling around the house. Oh, so much better. Dad's crying, when they get their dads crying in the tub, the rest of the family is downstairs holding hands in the kitchen. But yeah, no, Ellen Burstin is going to confront the demon now. And she walks in, I love this so much. Because God, the stuff they have demon, the space work, they have demons do at the beginning of an exorcism scene is my favorite thing we see on this show, right? Because in

this case, the demon is reading the Bible upside down. Yeah. Yeah. Do the demons come up with their bits when they're in hell, like they're getting ready to enter into children's bodies? And he's like, so what, what creepy thing are you going to do when they walk in the room? I was thinking I would do like a, like an upside down Bible reading. Oh, that's good. That's really good. I like that a lot.

It's going to really stick it to them. Yeah. So she confronts the demon. And again, like I tasted it earlier, she's doing a unitarian universalist exorcism. She's like, I rebuke you demon in the name of the energy that binds all of us and me, friendship and power community and five on lock and through. A fundraiser for the gardens. Yeah. And so the the possess little girl stab steps are in the

eyes, which look, I have also spoken to Unitarian Universalists about their beliefs. I get it. I think each one there was one staff reach you. This is for your inclusive sex ed. Just be atheist. Simack. Just be atheist. So we come back over to our priest. He's asking exorcist permission. The only reason I mentioned this scene, because they're just like, oh no, you can't do that.

The last guy had a heart attack and threw himself out of window. But the thing that I love about this is that occurred to me in the scene is like, hey, how come they always send one guy? Why don't they send like 40, right? Like if you actually believed in this, right? You'd think you'd just say, yeah, it's in like 40 guys just so they can at least talk over the demon, right? Right.

And like, you're all sitting here in a room. You're all on this exorcist council. Just get in the car and go. Maybe we should take a look at it for ourselves. Yeah. But no, no, he's not. No, you all did the Pope's exorcist, if I remember incorrectly.

Oh, fuck, yes, we did. Dragon Age the Pope exorcist, absolutely we did. My kingdom for a Russell Crowe, right? Yes. Go in here. Oh, I can say, I'm gonna Pope's exorcist. I'm a guinea. Mario, I'm a pop sex. Mario, I'm gonna stamp on to that a little girl's ahead and she's gonna go bloop and then fall off of the screen.

You can't do this. I'm 325 pounds right now. On a two-cylinder vestibule. Yeah, let me get on my unicycle and take me very seriously. Oh man, that movie is so good. Oh, compared to this, it is a fucking Oscar winner. Masterwork. Masterwork.

And hey, we are getting three more of them. So buckle in. Three more of the Pope's exercises. Three more Pope's exercises movies. They signed the contract. Wow. Yeah. Because we're getting two more of these.

So we're getting two more of these, which I'm a real bummed out about. Yeah. Because we're getting two more of these. So we're getting two more of these, which I'm a real bummed out about. Yeah. I mean, hopefully only one happens. The third one I don't think is in stone. Yeah. At this point, I literally wrote in my notes, because they're doing the UU bullshit about like, oh, you know, the thing that I just have in common is people. And I was like, so boring. I wrote in my notes, I literally miss the devil. Have you? Yes, there's sort of this like sweeping, swelling score of everything has people in common, like shopping malls and Chick-fil-A and white supremacy. What are we talking about here?

What is happening? Your daughter is filled with the one time you think you would refute this kind of bullshit is when someone is filled with a very specific religion's demon, right? It's not like all the religions have demons. No. They didn't even call all the religions. No. No, just to the white ones.

Just the Christian ones. They do have the root magic. Yeah, that's true. There was definitely a writing room meeting where they were like, do we get a rabbi? And they were like, no, get a wrap on and they're like, no, no, it's not going to wrap. I don't want it to be. Why not? But I want to be clear, this now means it's time to assemble an exorcism dream team.

He's literally having a Nick Fury moment with the root magic lady at this point, right? He walks up to her and he's like, hey, you stealing some gravedirt and she's like, oh, no, this is slave magic. And he's like, wow, are the people who wrote this movie white and making us say these lines? And he's like, sure, sure. Sure. Can we talk about this woman for a moment?

Sure. Because she talks about how she had an oncology practice. Obviously. Her own oncology practice, but didn't have much faith in traditional medicine. That is a long time and a lot of money you spent to not have faith in this. Well now she does certain jars. She does. She does.

And she must have been a shitty cancer doctor. Like nobody ever got cured of cancer. She was like, this does not work. This is terrible. Guys, I gave them some of that poison stuff. What's it called? Chemo there. Yeah, I gave them some of that and they got sicker.

Yeah, I told them to stop. I told them to stop. It makes you sick, stop, right? Get some gravedird, rub some gravedird on it. Get some gravedird in there. Yeah. They told me they had melanoma. I said to stop eating canaloupe.

I'm not sure if they left it. It was happening. I said it was slave magic. It got real quiet. So yeah, now the girls, the girls have been released from the hospital, right? Apparently they have, we're doing a UU exorcism release papers at this hospital because they've tied these girls into a summoning circle in the middle of Victor's house. Yes, I love that they put these back-to-back chairs, like they're going to the middle of Victor's house. Yes.

I love that they put these back-to-back chairs, like they're going to play some sort of dating game and ask each other questions. And how did they get that medical equipment into the house? Did she steal that from the house? She must have. And now just has it, you know, every so often I just take home and it's something. It's a red and sheer and a heart monitor there. But yeah, they have matching new heart monitors to monitor the girls hearts while they have

the demons spooked out of them. Yeah. Yes, they're beating as one. Yeah. Because I guess the only the demons heart beats right exactly or I see I'll guess He's a locust that heart is gonna be beating really fast. Yeah, he's a locust There's a lot of questions that go unanswered here We get over to and out and the priest and again this subplot is just so funny to me He's like pounding out in the car and she's like father you coming in to do the the one thing that your job says you can do and he's like

No, I had to turn in my badge and gun. And she's like, oh, okay. Like, she gives him this, like, you can do it speech. And I expected her to be like, get up just son of a bitch because endow loves ya. Yes, it's very much like this is the 1992 dream team. But like Carl Malone has just torn his Achilles. And he's like, yeah.

Exactly, yeah. And he says, people have died on both sides of possession. It is religious interference, but isn't art all-rail, or religious rights, some kind of interference? Like, what's your beef with this? Yeah, and it's not clear if it was because he was worried or the priest didn't want him to do it.

It gets very unclear. Anyways, she like grabs his Bible and his cross and she's like, I'm Catholicism now. And they're like, okay. Yeah, she gets deputized. Yeah. Yes. It's just, and let's be real, right? Because the Pentecostal guy is there and the Baptist family is there.

They're all moving stuff and getting ready. And it's like, it's the Avengers, right? This is just so obviously the exorcist ripping off the Avengers. Yes, this is the marvelication of all moving. Truly. All right. Well, a rabbi might as well have just stepped out of a glowing portal with the black panther and Bucky. So I need a second to catch my breath. But first, let me give back three of the hard sell. Is two exorcisms twice as hard or half as hard? Are they filled with the same demon or two demons who work together? Will the fact that these

religions world views are wildly in conflict ever come up or matter? Find out the answer to this question and more when we turn for the exceptionally silly conclusion of the exorcist believer. From the makers of exorcist believer. You'll never have the girl back, never! Comes yet another story, not quite willing to put its money down on religious mythos. You have no power here, priest. Oh, I'm not a priest, I'm a spiritual counselor.

What? One man will take a sand against the darkness. I just think atheism is the other side of the coin to religion, you know? No, of course I don't know. What does that even mean? By closing his eyes. Nobody knows everything.

What argument are you having right now? Exorcist. Non-believer but spiritual. Nossus is a means to know something. Oh my god. Is your eye in the demon? And we're back. When we left off, it was time to mother fucking exercise.

Let's do it. And the very first comment that anyone has about the situation is that the demons appear to be farting up a storm. Yes, gagging at the children is so rude. Yeah. Yeah. Tying your child up and then gagging at their smell. Come on.

I really like the idea that the demons are just in their hot box in the room with parts. Just eating whore-mel chili and just be like, Taco Bell party pack. We stopped it, uh, Chipotle on the way over here. So good luck, because I guess what we're saying. Now, I have to be clear because I'm never going to be able to communicate how fucking hilarious this is. What this movie does now, and I wish I was making this up, the movie goes three, two, one, everyone do all your religions at once go.

Like, root magic lady is handing out magic bags. And doubt has a like a St. Christopher's metal. The Baptist guy, he's sad because they don't really have props. So he's just like yelling at the demons. It's fucking, it's truly, the demons at this point are looking at each other the way Noah and I look at each other when there's like a street preacher, protester, and an atheist convention just like you want to do a thing.

Let's go do it. Let's go fuck with it. The Baptist guy too is so ineffectual. I mean, I realize it's an exorcism and everyone's ineffectual, but he is just, I feel like he's having a like, what am I doing here moment? He really sucks. Let's say, right, because root magic lady fucking crushes it. We'll talk about what she does in a second.

Yes. But he is definitely the most worthless, because he doesn't even bother with God words, right? No. Like, Andrew and Dowd comes in and she's like, in the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit, and root magic ladies just doing spells. Fuck yeah. But then Southern evangelical guys like, fuck you. Fuck, fucking, fuck you. Just flipping the demons off and they're like, dude, what are you even doing here? And he's like, I don't know.

I didn't want to miss the barbeque. We're a schism of a schism. I just think they were getting together a dream team. They made another white guy. It's also kind of silly that for this dream team, Ann Dowd has to be both science and Catholicism to the other. He's a very serious contrast to one another.

Sure. Got a stethoscope in one hand, crucifix in the other. She's a very serious contrast to one another. Sure. Got a stethoscope in one hand, crucifix in the other. She's kind of light on both, though. She is. She is kind of light on both. That's true. Yeah. Why won't Norbert take his shoes off?

Oh, I missed that. Yeah, he does it. Dad doesn't take his shoes off in a room. Invictors house? Invictors house. And then he runs outside and then takes his shoes off and comes back in at some point. Yeah, dad is going through a butt face, but hole face, douchebag, whatever that character's name is. Yeah, dad. He will spend the entire yeah, dad, white dad will spend the entire time like going through it.

He is very uninvested in this exercise, some as far as things go. very uninvested in this exercise, as far as things go. When he gets the gree-gree bag, he looks at and he's like, ugh, I guess. Oh, he does. If we're doing everyone's religion, I'll wear the gree-gree bag, I guess.

You know what he strikes me as? He strikes me as one of those dads who like, if you've ever done one of those parent planning things, where everyone has to bring a thing or do a potluck. And some guy who hasn't been a part of it two days beforehand just jumps into the group thread to be like, Hey, have we considered an underwater theme? That's what this dad is to this exorcism. He didn't bring any food.

He volunteered to bring napkins. As soon as the sign up, she went out and now he's fucking up everyone else's good time just embarrassing his wife the whole time. So now they take a little intermission, which is the second funniest thing happened. Literally, the last scene was this big explosive like, you never stop me in the name of the father. And now everyone, and I cannot emphasize this enough, including the demons are just sort of like,

oh, okay, good first round everybody, it's good, anyone want to snack, cliff bar, anything? And the girls are looking like Reagan in the first movie with sort of the stretched cut skin. And they keep showing their heart monitors and their heart rates are at 180, which is high, but isn't that high for a child that age? They're like oh my god they're gonna die but yeah even and out doesn't know that's just my fat ass watching an exciting movie at this point in my life like this in the cardio zone yeah my apple watch warns me about that if I climb stairs too quickly like let's relax

but now it's time for some mother fucking root magic. And can we say this lady crushes everyone else should leave. They should kick them all out. Yeah. If I was one of these other religious figures and I just yelled at two teenage girls with no effect, and then this lady does a fucking smoke bomb into the fireplace and they're vaping out their demons like, I would be like, Oh, okay, you're in charge. You just, I feel like we run her plan, right? Cause she had a smoke bomb in the fireplace and they're vaping out their demons. Heart of her plan is to pour vinegar on them,

which I liked a lot. Cause you can just kill a fall, a peppercorn, get some dill, a couple of days out of your real nights. Oh. Just basically puts both girls in a plastic bag, puts in them in the fridge overnight. Yeah. You gotta shake fridge overnight. Yeah. You got to shake them first.

Yeah. I got them out. Is this the first time that we've seen demons blowing cotton? Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Cause I can't even know. Blow and cotton. Blow and cotton. Vade queens. That's what they are. You know, when you just hit that vape in your blow and mad cotton? Fuck yeah. I never heard that before.

I love it. I wanted someone to sniff and be like, is that bubble gum? Yeah, no, it's bubble gum. The same amount of tobacco, it just tastes way better. Also, I just don't, one other thing I want to talk about with group magic lady, because she, again, she throws a smoke bomb into the fireplace and the fire smoke comes out and like, fucks up the demons. It's this whole thing.

Smoke fight. Yeah. And then Ann Dowd jumps in at the end and is like in the name of Jesus. And I was like, Ann Dowd, shut the fuck up, okay? You can turn. You can turn. You don't get to fucking jump in and be like,

oh yeah, my guy too. No, the root magic lady is doing the work. You need to get better. Yeah, get off her co-tails. Yeah, for every reason that smoke bomb magic, it filled a bowl with demon juice. Peepy. I think it was peepy. Was it? It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot of urine. That's a lot of urine, Alan. I thought it was demon essence.

She's like, sorry, I'm going to say to you what I said, do it the live show that where we met. That's a lot of urine, Alan. Hey, I didn't know if I was going to get drug test. I was there. So I made sure to bring some clean. That's fair. That's fair. No, I'm just saying what's more realistic urine or demon juice? Well, she says, take this away from the house, the stuff in this bowl.

And he just goes out and pours it into the sewer, like the drain that goes in the sewer. And I thought, Jesus Christ, whole neighborhood's going to get demons now. That's what's going to happen. They should have poured it on a lot of one of their neighbors who isn't there. Because most of their cul-de-sac is there at this little party. The one neighborhood didn't show up. You dump that demon urine and by the time you're back to the house, it's already made its way back in.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. You got to get the half a heart demon traps right and then drive it a couple miles out of town. But yeah, he's out there and he like notices that the priest is just fucking hanging out in his car and he's like, hey, man, do you want to come in and help out with this at all? And he's like, okay, I'll come in and help. And he's like, all right, great. I'm glad you're finally part of the fucking movie.

So back inside, it's time for Angela's demon to play her big reveal, which is, oh my God. You remember the beginning when the doctor told dad, hey, you have to choose between the daughter and the mom? Well, he chose the mom and it failed. Yes. Oops.

And this is meant to be presented as like a moral failing of his that he chose his wife, which is like I think what a lot of people would do. Yeah. It's not a good dramatic twist. He did not want the child. He just didn't choose her. Yeah. I feel like they were trying to stick the landing on the anti-abortion stuff here.

Yeah. Also, it wasn't like his choice was between killing the baby and saving the mom. He was just like, yes, save the mom will make another one. Right. Yeah. And then I felt bad that I've been haunting Rob all these years. He can poop in peace now. Exactly.

But then again, this is where the demons sort of doubles down on this. The demons now offer that the parents need to choose which of their kids is going to live and the other one is going to die. And like, look, Katie, let's be a little real with the audience here, okay? As the parents on the podcast, Alan, you're not a parent are you? No, okay, yeah, okay, perfect. Wonderful, thank you.

Just a weird uncle. Katie, if you're given this choice, you're not a parent are you? No, okay, yeah, okay, perfect. Wonderful, thank you. Just a weird uncle. Yeah. Can you, if you're given this choice, yeah, you're like, oh my kid, right, instant, like instant fucking Lee. Yes, of this terrible movie, the thing that I found least realistic was white mom being like, I can't choose because that lady would have been like, A-thread! Yeah, 1 million percent, one bajillion, as would I, by the way, with the-

That's what I, yes! The morality this movie is proposing, like, well, you know, all human life. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm supposed to choose between my kid and some girl they know from school. I-I once told my pediatrician that I would kill everyone in their waiting room to charge my son's iPad when they were trying to explain antibiotic resistance to me. I am, I, the demons aren't getting through this sentence before I choose my son. They're like, you must choose and I'm like, I choose Max and they're like, well, let us finish once you don't know. I just want you to know I choose Max.

I'm buzzing in early like a jeopardy question. You have to let me answer. We just need to know if you wanted the vegetarian or the chicken meal. No, it is a wild conceit to pretend that like you would be a bad person to choose your own child, especially for the payoff. Yes. Which we will get to.

Yeah. Oh my god. So they propose that and the two parents aren't choosing, at least Victor and white mom are not choosing. So Catholic priest comes in sort of weirdly timed. Like I felt like they needed to put this earlier in the movie because Catholic guys now hear like taking his turn and he's almost as good as Smoke Magic Lady. But then they, then they twist his head around

and it kills him, which is super fucking funny. I was, it's so funny. Okay. I laughed out loud in the theater. I was the only one who did. I left super. Oh, I left for a while because it's a long scene, right?

The iconic thing of the exorcist is the headspinning thing, right? It's that in the piece soon, right? So the idea that all the sudden he's doing, I was like, oh, here is the headspinning thing, right? It's that in the piece soon, right? So the idea that all of a sudden he's doing, I was like, oh, here's the headspinning. He's like, no, no, it's killing me. And I was like, oh my God, that's hilarious. I wanted Leslie Oldham Jr. to be like, oh, I made him come inside, but I forgot to tell him about the no touching part. Fuck. Oh, sorry about that. Sorry, my guy. That's what you get for being a coward out in the car. That's on me. Yeah, he missed it. He missed the intro. But the priest getting his head squished around fucking Allah, the mountain, like he just fought

the mountain and fucking Game of Thrones. That makes white dad butt face McGee loses nerve. And so he sort of like calls. I choose Catherine from the other room, which is super funny. I just got it. Like set the hats. It's literally the joke I wrote in my notes. He might as well just be like, oh, Catherine, I choose Catherine. What?

Oh my gosh, no. Angela does like a Zinnidans adon level headbutt. Flames, where they're flames. They're were flames. I've noticed she possessed by Vinny Jones. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Friend footballers. Yeah. This is now a sports podcast. I was going to say, thank you for bringing some sports references to this podcast. I definitely cannot provide

this for the show. But yeah. So we assume, at least I assumed as I was watching this, like, oh, now Angel is going gonna die and Catherine's gonna live, but That's not what happens. We cut to Catherine in the wet hole by herself and she gets like Body tackled by a demon. What is the demon say to her? I choose you, Catherine. I choose you Child has committed the sin of having a dickhead for a father, which I don't know if you are all raising your hands as well, but like I am also in hell. Yeah, okay, thank you, because that is my question now. Is Caprin now in hell, because her dad's a douchebag?

Yes, which makes them ending monologue of this movie, so fucking upsetting. So weird. So weird. So weird. We'll get there. So weird. Okay. So the demon, by the way, in case you're worried that this is like a scene that you wouldn't be laughing at, the motif they went for the demon was six saggy boobs. So don't worry that you would take it too seriously.

Why does the demon have so many boobs, though? I know. To feed the many Catherine's. Demon babies. The many boobs. I know. To feed the many Catherine's demon babies, the many Catherine's. To feed the many unfortunate white children under its control now. Hi, I'm titula. It's honestly better than Pazuzu. So now we get a police siren and I wrote my notes. So now the cops are here to shoot the black guy. I get it. I eat. I went, I'm in the movie theater. I'm scrolling down to take the notes. I saw your note and I wrote my notes. So now the cops are here to shoot the black guy. I get it. I get it. I, Eli, when I'm in the movie theater, I'm scrolling down to take the notes. I saw your note and I spit water all over the city front of me, which fortunately no one was sitting

in. I was like, you motherfucker. This is a serious scene. A child is dead. It is. They're trying to make it a series, except the cops walk in and they're like, there's two kids, one of whom is dead tied to chairs. There's root magic. There's a fucking panic costal, right? One guy has his head turned around in a circle and the cops are like, so what happened here? Why? But I'm man. Yes, everyone should go to jail for this. There's two dead. One wounded. That just doesn't fly. No, definitely, definitely should not fly. Yeah.. There's two dead, one wounded. That just doesn't fly. No, definitely, definitely should not fly. Yeah, so now we're going to cut to the police station

for the end of the movie wrap up. This is infuriating. Okay, talk to me about this monologue and doubt at the end. I think someone talked about this earlier and doubts monologue at the end. Let me make a bold statement. Let me say something as brave as it is handsome. This is the most nothing statement anyone has ever made at the end of a movie ever. She asks the cop, do you think they'll be okay? Meaning, I think Catherine's parents.

Yeah. Who, by the way, have two other children. So like kind of fuck it. That's one of the other one, right? Yeah, obviously. Two spares. You get replacements. Yeah. Two spares.

And we know they're separated because they showed up in a Denny's a different time. Right. Right. Right. The classic universal movie language for our marriages on the rocks. And the cops like, I don't know. That's not actually my job. My job is to prosecute you for having murdered this little girl.

And Ann Dowd is giving this speech about how like God just wants us to get through it. God see? Our message seems to be that God like, keep on shugging like God has handed each of us to hang in there baby motivational poster. Yes. Is about as close as we get to hang in there baby motivational poster. Yes. Is about as close as we get to a message from him for this. Just suffer and get on with it. Yeah.

Which is insane because according to the beliefs of everyone in this film who was participated in the exorcism, Catherine is burning in the Hellfire's for all eternity. Yeah, because of a dick dad. Right. And not even that, I mean, he was a dick, but not for the thing he actually did, which is sort of understandable. Yeah, he's the one moment that I understood his actions

in the movie and she is apparently in hell for it. See, think about it, won't you? Yeah. Maybe you're the demon now, Doc. Ooh, I am the demon now, Doc. So with my daughter and her friend ever get possessed, I, and they ask who to save. I should stand up and yell not Lucy.

Don't you take my kid, take my kid. And the demon's like, wow, no, I saw it in a movie, shit. Okay, just one of the demons only tell lies and the other one tells you, what would you choose if I asked, ah, fuck. And I know what you're thinking, Eli, Eli, look, I've loved this movie. It's made a ton of sense, conflicting religion, smoke magic. It's all been great. But what's going on with Ellen Berson and her daughter's relationship? Well, don't worry. We get a little teaser at the very end of the movie. Reagan leans down into

frame and says, I'm here, Mom. I'm here, which is where I wrote, but she really never did get to see Reagan again. Did she? And then I wrote, don't say that. That's mean. Alan's failing part two. My human failing part two in this movie is that I teared up when fucking Reagan show. Oh, come on, Alan. Of course you did. You've got all the feeling now, especially when it comes to Reagan's life and life. There were moments earlier in the movie where like Angela's trying, you know, she's,

I just wanted to talk to mom and I was like, God, that's heartbreaking. And then I was like, fuck you don't do this. I do. I dare you, exorcist, believe me. I dare you. You just popped scared me with a drawer. I refused to feel. All right.

So as we teased earlier, I think we mentioned in here on the show, there are two more of these movies on the way. Given that the first movie was, I don't know, God seems to be up to some things or stuff. Where do we think we're headed with movie number two? Jesus.

Is Ellen, are Ellen Berson and Linda Blair signed on for it? Yes, Linda Blair is. I would like to see them be the main. Ooh. Be the main sort of like Ghostbusting. What if Reagan gets possessed again? Adolf's done. If she doesn't tap dance, I want nothing to do with it.

It's sure, yeah. I agree. I read somewhere the other day that maybe David Gordon Green will not be involved in the next one. Oh, that might be a good choice. Yeah. I mean, this is the worst thing he's ever done, including the travesty of the second Halloween movie.

And I didn't see the third because I was so angry at the end of the second. It's bad. You didn't like Michael Myers talking it through with this family? All right, well, well, well, now I know which we're going to bring you back on for next year when we do a spectacular. Yeah. And also just the end of this movie, I feel like you, so you're, you do a lot of these Christian movies and I feel like they all have to end on this uplifting note.

I've never watched any of them, but that's the vibe I get from listening to the show. 100%. Yep. So this felt more like a Christian movie than the Bleak Horror ending to me, which was weird. Yeah. It felt like milk toast Christianity too, because we usually have the like, you know, that one Jew in the movie being like, I've been saved by Jesus, but this was like, I've been saved by the fucking Unitarian Universalist potlock view of the world. It was very, it's very weird to be shamed by me the world view. Yes, it's unsettling. All right. Well, Alan, Katie, thank you so much for joining us again. If our listeners want to hear more from you and like I did,

listen to your entire back catalog. Where might they do that? You can find us anywhere you're listening to podcasts. So right here, wherever this is, just look for wearable family lunch and there we are. All right. Thank you so much for having us. Oh, thank you so much for coming. All right. And while that does it for our review of Exorcist Believer, it's not going to do it for the episode just yet because we still need to assure you that my co-hosts aren't dead. So Alan, tell us what's on deck. I'm wearing heath skin.

I don't know. Right, sorry, there's usually someone who asked me that. Well, it wouldn't be a spooktacular without some world ending demon fun. So next week, we'll be watching 2014's Kingdom Come. So with that to look forward to, we'll bring episode 426 to a merciful close. Thanks to Alan and Katie from We're Wolf Ambulance for joining us again. If you haven't listened to every episode they've ever done, like I have, what the fuck are you waiting for? Once again, a huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that help make this show go. If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com, forward slash God Awful, and thereby earn early access to an ad free version of every single show.

You can also help us out a ton by leaving a 5 star review and by sharing the show in all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, the scathing atheist citation needed, D&D minus, the s the sceptor crack available wherever podcasts live. And if you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email God awful movies at gmail.com. Tim Robertson takes care of our social media. Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. All their music was written and performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clark and was used with

his permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for Heathen, right?usions, Katie and Alan, Ami Labasnik promising to work hard to earn another chunk next week, until then, we'll leave you with the Breakfast Club clothes. My Breakfast Club Closing would be the camera panning out on the wet hole and a light chuckle coming from the way. Ooh, I love it. and a light chuckling coming from the limo. Ooh, love it.

Yeah. Hazu-Zu cooks up a big ol' batch of mac and cheese to take to the next potluck. Katherine burned in hell for all eternity, because her dad liked her better than her classmate. Do the ski out cheers. Thank you for doing ads as always. Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah. We never do ads, so it's exciting. Nice. All right.

Cool. Yeah. I always mean to email and be like, Hey, just remind of you don't ever have to do our ads if you don't want to, but we don't give a shit. We're so nice. Yeah. Us too. They won't let me sell CBD shit and I really want to.

Why won't they? It's an ethical. People use it for bad, non-science stuff. Like some people enjoy it, but some people use it for like, I'm going to cure my cancer and some of the companies aren't super ethical about that. But they have so much money. Yeah, they want to give it to you.

They do. I want their sweet, sweet money. All right, interstitial one. The preceding podcast was production of Puzzle on a thunderstorm LLC, copyright 2023. All rights reserved. The proceeding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thedrstrom LLC Copyright 2023. All rights reserved.