God Awful Movies - 438: e-motions 2.0

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

This week, Cara Santa Maria joins us once again so we can try her patience with more woo documentaries. --- To get tickets to see us live in Orlando, click here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-in-orlando-florida-tickets-778242784117 --- Check out more from Cara on the Talk Nerdy podcast --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

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on slash simple. things I say as these fucking assholes are. I am constantly, oh, I hope that came out right and the people like, it would be so nice to just be like, psh, hot pockets, now them to Nerno Talks and all right. What you're gonna need to do is get four tomatoes and a full moon, right? Right? That's it. Not a full movie. Movie. Movie.

Movie. Movie. Not awful! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie!

Movie! Welcome back to The Gamecast for each week. We sample another selection from Christian cinema because otherwise my business card would make no sense at all. I'm your host Noah Luzion's. He's gonna be unable to join us this week, but sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnick Eli. How are you this fine afternoon, sir? I'm not able to join us this week, but sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend, Eli Bosnick Eli. How are you this fine afternoon, sir? I'm amazing Noah.

Let's fucking do this thing. Let us cure ourselves permanently. And of course, also joining us this week is the host of Talk Nerdy and our favorite guest mask is Dr. Kara Santa Maria Kara. Welcome back. Yes. That's it. You need positive emotion.

That's the whole fucking problem. You thought a year away from this podcast would make you better, but it actually made it lower to your defenses against this podcast. So tell us, Kara, what will we break it down today? Well, usually I start with, it's the story of, there's no story in this time. No, not this time. Was this, okay, it's called E-motion2.0, E-motion2.0.

Lowercase E like fucking E-E Cummings or some shit. Yes, yes. And I think it's just a promotional video for their scammy cult. Yeah, but which scammy? They're very unspecific about which scammy cults all through in on a camera man, right? Yes. Yeah, but but if you google it, you can figure out pretty quickly that it's the e-projection. There's one unified scammy call. Okay. There's one place to get sent all your money. Yep. And Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you love the nonsense of TikTok live at 4 a.m., but you wish it was themed like a Texas roadhouse. We love this movie.

My friends, look, we have watched a lot of bullshit documentaries, a lot. And we've seen flower power and Cassantha mom gently talk about crystals and curing your own cancer more times than I cared a count. But the fucking talking heads they found at the rancheroo for this film make me in higher experience. Worth. While I loved every second of it. It was, it was like every other woo documentary, but with rodeo clouds. It was amazing. Yes. So I, and I should say, trigger warning for this movie. This is another one of those. If you're sick, it's your fault movies, right? That no doubt grew out of insanely privileged people saying, have you ever noticed that whenever you meet

somebody with cancer, they're a total downer? I bet that's what gave them the cancer. Right? It's another one of those. So there's anything you guys want to nominate? This one for being the best of being the worst at? Oh, okay. Best worst gray five o'clock shadow with a shoe polish mustache painted on. Yeah. Offensive Steve Harvey costume worn by a white man. Yeah, absolutely. It's insane. My favorite. I think about that man twice a day. Yo, this entire episode could be about his mustache about that guy's fucking mustache. It's the best worst. Sometimes people ask us like, Hey, would you ever want to interview David Ayer or down to James Punt and I was like, no, no, I don't want to, I want to interview this guy and I don't want to talk about medicine or health or I want to be like, so what facial hair did you

see that you were like, you know what I should do? Do you think you're simply as angry that you're taking so much of this look directly? Yeah. So I was going to go with best worst Dale Carnegie recommended gesticulations. So I think like 11 out of 13 of the talking heads here are motivational speaker assholes who go and sell you AM way, you know, at the fucking at the community room at the Ramada or whatever. And they've all got these ridiculously, I don't, I don't know if you can save for boasts

when you're talking about just takeulations, but every word, it's like they're trying to make up sign language on the fly every almost every one of them. Yeah. You know how public speaking shouldn't be a college class and it's cruel to do to shy people. This is the movie that proves that. Is it a bunch of people being like arms wide means welcome. That's this movie. And I know I've used this one before, but I do think that this one has knocked its former

champion out of the ranking. I'm going to go with best, best carotrap, because this movie starts almost sane. Yeah. Because it talks about emotions and psychological trauma and the difference between illness and health and whole body wellness, things that are friend, medical doctor, Cara Sanabria,

is not deeply interested in. And it's spent a lot of time studying. She's a dead person dentist stuff. And I knew that that conversation was eventually going to lead to lemon juice cures depression. So I get to watch Karen's nose. Back away from this movie, like it began to slowly shit itself at a nine year old's birthday party.

That's the experience I got. I would say the problem with this Eli is that it doesn't slowly shit itself at a nine year old's birthday party. That's the experience I got. I would say the problem with this Eli is that it doesn't slowly shit it. It shits itself when it shows up to the nine year old's birthday party. It's so bad. And it just hangs out at the entire party and waits for us to say something.

Yes, just stinking in the corner. So I'm just going to fully disclaimer at the very top of this episode for anybody listening for legal purposes. I am a clinical psychologist. I have a PhD in clinical psychology. Anything Eli says after this, just don't listen. There you go. Dentist doctor. I've been saying that to the listeners. I mean, Carrie, you can say that, but only one of us owns every possible iteration of Dr. Cara San Maria dot com. So who do you want the people to listen to? You so mean. Why are my friends with this man? I believe my business partner Squarespace has decided to be on this one. All right, well, tell you what, we've got a lot of maladies to

cure on the other side of the break. So we're going to keep it brief. And when we come back, we'll dive into all the unspeakable privilege that is emotion 2.0. And furthermore, my eyes. Hey, guys, what's going on? Well, Eli asked me about my underwear. So I sprayed them with bare mace.

Gotcha, sorry about that. He throws you 20 bucks, right? Yep, I was kind of expecting this. It was the lead in for a meundi's ad. Wait, what's meundi's? Why is this phone? Because it's bare mace. Ah, meundi's the most comfortable underwear you haven't tried yet.

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Kick off the new year, come fear than ever and get 20% off your first order. Plus free shipping at me undies.com slash awful. That's me undies.com slash awful for 20% off. Plus free shipping me undies, comfort from the outside in. Where's the sink? All right. Noah, thanks.

I might just give those a try. Nice. So should we get them to the IWAR station? Or... No, I think we can just leave them for a bit. Is this bowl filled with vinegar? You put out vinegar? Like I said, I was expecting this.

All right, everyone. Welcome to the first ever expert round table for E-motion 2.0. Oh I'm sorry is this a sequel? Um no no it is not. Then why is it called 2.0? Right um Then why is it called 2.0? Right. Because you know windows and like iTunes and stuff. It doesn't matter. Everyone, what we just go around everybody introduce yourselves. Okay. I'm Dr. Ray Mike.

That's T-O-R-E for legal reasons. I'm an energy fracker. And I restructure alignment of G. All right. Well, thank you very much, Dr. Mike. Dr. A, please, there's a lawsuit. I really want you to say. Yep. Right. Dr. A, Mike, Megan, how about you?

Yeah, I'm Megan. I'm an energy, raky, wisdom shaman Yeti and I am Crystals sure. Yep straight to the point. Well, look I couldn't imagine a better group to lead this project I mean I could Well, thank you Anyway, what we all haven't come in is um Well, so we're all What we all have in common is, well, see, we're all,

what I mean to say is that everyone on this project is full of shit. Pull it, yes, exactly. Yes, so, you know, do your pitch into a camera and we're selling on 2B for 40 bucks with that. All right. So do you think Windows is on version 2.0? Wait, where's that? We dropped version 2.0? Like, where's that? We dropped the 2.0 thing, doctor.

Doctor. And we're back for the breakdown. We're gonna start off with the oldest guy at every commune telling us a story. You know what nudity is really about? Oh, okay. Yeah, I just, they didn't give us any kairons for like the first few minutes.

So I had to come up with ways of describing these people. I mean, to be fair, they're trying to hook you in with the amazing advice they have and starting out as dowser slash author might, might lose a couple of people before they get that sweet, sweet to be 15 minute mark. No, that's fair. Yes. So the guys like, I want to share you this anecdote. A woman told me about her husband dying that the husband was on his death bed and he said, lean in.

I don't have much strength. Listen closely so I can only say this once. And I'm like, well, or you can say it twice and skip the fucking preamble, man. I'll see when he said, okay, but really listen, I wrote, I see this gentleman was also married to my wife. Yeah. Well, I found super weird about this whole like,

interocee and where he's like, let me tell you a story. This is an old dude, you know, just face to camera. Let me tell you a story. A woman tells me about her husband and he's dying and he's got a deathbed confession. And then they do like a weird, in action, like he voiceovers himself, lying in bed, being like, I'm dying.

It's so creepy and weird. I feel like he probably just started to die on set, given his agent they were like, you know what would be great, actually. Ha, ha, ha. Right, but this big anecdote that we're starting off with, this guy's dying words were, you know, every morning when you pick your head up off the pillow, you've already got everything that you need. Boo bad advice. Yes. Yeah. We're setting a tone here. Right. We're going to stay

at that level of privilege throughout. Yep. Yeah. Tell me you're a white guy without telling me you're a fucking white guy. Right. Who has access to that website where you like click the button and it gives you a D-Pac Chopra random. Deepity right. Yes, exactly. Yeah, yeah, that's the whole movie. Right. Yeah, as soon as he's done, a title card comes up and it says, quote, the subconscious

mind defines everything about us. End quote. Yeah, I wrote in my notes. I mean, not like eye color. And then a fucking, a child's go for puppet that was turned into a real boy comes on. These people all get names eventually. And he tells us that the mind is like an iceberg and I'm going and I'm like, oh, God, we're already going 10% of the mind. Are we really in the opening minute? Oh, I was so excited for 10% of the mind and we didn't get it.

That's so cool. He also tells us that the subconscious is 1,000 times more powerful than the conscious mind. And I was like, what does that mean even in your world? Right? Like I know what it means to me. It's nonsense. It was your turn to say words out loud. But what does he, how is he measuring the power of conscious versus unconscious mind?

And then fucking Max headroom's grandpa shows up to tell us we don't need no fancy cars and fast houses or whatever. Tell the way around. But you know, you know, you get the idea. And then the title card comes up. it says, again, direct fucking quote, if the subconscious mind is that powerful, then what controls it's what? What? I don't know. I have no idea.

The whole movie is just a series of what? Yeah, truly. Like, what was impressive about this movie is that so much of the time, because a lot of the time when we watch these bullshit movies, I'm like, because the earth is flat, like I am able to fill in the blank. And every time they leave a blank in this movie, I'm like, I got no fucking idea man. I would love to hear your answer about who controls the subconscious mind because it's powerful. This is, I mean, I think this movie is just the secret, right? Like pretty much. Like really when we like look at it for what it is, it's just, it's, it's a million different

ways to basically say like, everything bad that's ever happened to you is because you were sad a lot. And if you just try to manifest really, really hard, like you'll get a new house. Yes, right. If you become unbearable at parties, you'll succeed. Yes. Or, you know, if you delude yourself enough by the end of it, you'll be delusional. Yes, 100%. And somehow we get there by, I'm pretty sure the thesis here is we get there by cutting loose our steamer trunks of emotion.

Yes. Did they think there was a copyright on emotional baggage that they couldn't use that term? They're like, we're not going to be old hat. This is new science. Yes. The brand new science or sharing with you. Emotional baggage. No, no, no, this is steam trunk Willie right here. Let me tell you, we allowed to use that one now. So then we get our title emotion 2.0.

There is so much to hate in this title, not the least of which is the little fucking key hole in the lower case E. And I had written that into my notes before the rest of the title turned into a key to unlock it. Fuck yeah. How many times do you think they asked for this from the CGI guys on Fiverr? And someone just wrote back like, no, you should kill yourself.

I don't wanna do no. And also I hope your whole production house burns down. And then we have to introduce this couple that we're gonna just keep looking at randomly. I have them down as on We Guy and on We Lady, right? Yeah, they're like pseudo-pritty. Like so there's kind of a stark contrast between V talking heads in the middle.

And V's like for sure. He's like kind of attractive paid actors who don't have any lines lines at least not right away. And they're just sort of in the background scene to scene like taking pills and eating toast and crying or shan their teeth raging. And it was a nice shoot for them right? They probably just spent an afternoon driving around L.A. Yeah, but the question is, did they know

what this movie was about? Right. Do you think they were duped? Well, and also like kudos to these people because they were asked to like, you know, hey, work out with On Wee. And they're like, I guess I can also do that, man. Yeah.

We're gonna watch them really stretch the boundaries of their acting ability. You see, I feel like they got the best stock photo actors that money could buy. Right. They were like, are you kidding? This is the laughs at salad lady. Okay. She's going to do a great job being guys. I promise.

Oh, yeah. It's like they went into like mine, journey or like one of these like AI programs and they were like, turn this stock photo into moving pictures. Yeah. They're like, we can do that. So we meet them and then we get our first fully Kairan to talking head. This is Michelle Schrader PhD. So she's exactly as educated as as Kara is.

I'd wrote the same joke. I googled her and I wrote, see her doctorates in mind body healing, just like you carry your pulse. Doctors who did the same amount of work for your doctorates, I'm sure. She is the literal worst in this show. She has zero redeeming quote. She's not even, she doesn't even have a cool mustache.

Like there's nothing about this woman. Yep. And like her pseudo profound bullshit, I think is some of the most dangerous in the film. And she's also by far the least knowledgeable. She just makes shit up as she goes along. Oh, she's my least favorite. And she's the most culturally appropriative. And she takes the longest.

She opens with this emotions or like a glass of water metaphor, which the movie feels the need to illustrate to us. And the point she's making is too much is too much. Yep. And they needed a visual aid for that. And then we meet the silliest mustache in Texas. Fuck yeah. This is like, okay, if he was trying to convince us he had a mustache using nothing but like

Felt the parasizzards and the 32 seconds before we walked up the stairs this mustache would make sense otherwise it makes no fucking sense It literally I mean I said it at the beginning so imagine a guy who's 60 years old later will find out he's 39 Yeah guy who's 60 years old later will find out he's 39. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Fucking rough. I got it.

I was a pop scare when he announced his age. Amazing. So imagine a guy who's 60 years old with like an epic, he's, yeah, he's wearing an epic cowboy. Oh, I call him rhinestone cowboy throughout. Sure. Sure. I haven't done his cowboy done because we'll have cowboy raiment before it's over too. I have to distinguish them.

But cowboy dawn is like costume cowboy. Like he is wearing the black western shirt that like he just took out of the plastic wrap, you know, so it's like really bright and press. And he's got, okay, so imagine a guy with like pasty white skin and this like gray, five o'clock shadow that's like almost the same color as his skin. So you kind of don't notice it's there unless you look closely, but there's a thick gray shadow across his whole lower face.

And then there's this black handle bar musta. What would you call that shape? It's not really a handle bar. Archway into hell. Yes, it's like an arch. It's like this. I'm like doing it on my, you guys can't see me. But yes, it's big. And it is like shoe polish black. Like he painted it. Blacker than the shirt. He's wearing a shirt and it's darker black than the shirt.

Like he painted it with like temper paint. Yeah, no, you have to like, like promise that you're not gonna like look at that mustache on behalf of Anish Kapoor before you're allowed to look at it. I was just gonna say you have to promise you're not Anish Kapoor with that mustache. Y'all, you beat me to it. And also, so this, this is Don Toeman. I immediately reached out to Martian said, please have this guy and be reasonable.

Please. Please. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Do it on video. But his his bio on his website identifies him as quote, author, public speaker, trainer, imaginist, and retainer. And I'm not making this one up. Experimental nutritional eating researcher. Okay. Experimental nutritional eating is, wait, is this guy who's like, who's like works for whole

foods? Well, he says he's a whole foods nutritionist. I don't know if that's the company or if he just means that. But he stocks the avocados and he's like, you know, you should eat one of these. It'll cure your AIDS. And they're like, hey, don't. What did we say about talking to people? And he's like, don't talk to anybody. When you, when he writes the word nutrition experiment, do you think he put a baby corn up his nose and just left it there to see if that was a new way to do it? That doesn't work. Because that's what the Kairan says to me. He opened.

So when we first see him, like the first things out of his mouth is, I know ancient wisdom. Yes. I came across it, you know, just like as a young guy traveling. And I wrote always best to hear from the white guy. Like I love him.

Yes, of course. I can't have it. It's like he's literally like, I've traveled around to the ancients and they taught me all the things about nutrition. And now I'm going to share them with you. It's crazy that the ancients shared all this wisdom with him, but didn't say don't dress like you're an extra in a VR rip off of red dead redemption, right?

I feel like one of the great ancients would mention. No, you either have ancient wisdom or that mustache. You don't have both of those. Yes, it's not one of the other. I think we don't do enough murder. And let me tell you why. I should tell you why. The fact that this man has put imaginist on his website and no one has beaten him to death or choked him until he was dead. It's too gentle. We're too gentle as a society. We need to, we need to turn the amp up so that it's dangerous to call yourself an imaginist and I'll face any consequences for having that opinion.

All right. No, no, you won't. I'm sure I'll add into that before I say it. So they were introduced to Dr. Darren Weissman. They keep putting like the name of these people's books below them as though it's a profession. So this is Dr. Weissman, the Lifeline Technique. Yeah, none of these people have actual affiliations.

No, he's a chiropractor. I was gonna say, what are their doctor? This is a very important. We can't just call everybody doctor. Yeah, this guy's a chiropractor. Okay, all right. And he explains that all disease is bad emotion. I wrote my notes.

Really? All disease? Like, TB? Yes, damn it. And then we meet Dr. Joe Dispens. I don't know what he's a doctor. I have him down as generic guy for the rest of the movie because I forgot his name and there's just nothing distinguishing about this person. Yeah, he's like if a train, if a screen wipe was a guy.

Yeah, I don't remember him at all. Yeah, that's his strength. This whole scene is just missing from my memory. Yeah, he's the author of such wonderful books as Sunshine and the power of words, awakening the secret code of your mind and the power of infinite love and gratitude. No. On his website, there's a success story section and the very first one, the title is no longer afraid or allergic to everything. So yeah, if you've got some allergies, look up, jock, joe, screen wipe.

Yeah. So we hear him a little bit and then we go back to Don who explains that the brain works and pictures pictures. You got your pictures, not ancient. Really, I feel like one of the ancients that gave you that wisdom would have been like, Hey, Don, real quick. Sorry. I know I gave you the secrets in the universe, but also it's pictures. You've done backglottle, fun. Yeah. That game, it isn't a word, man. I'm sorry. That's also, we throw that in. And this is where

I first started noticing how many gesticulations they were doing because Don when he talks, he looks like he's almost doing air nunchucks, right? And the next guy was doing the same fucking thing. We go back to the next guy and he's doing the same justiculations. And I'm like, Oh, wait a minute. They all took the same course, didn't they? Oh, yeah, they were all prepped. They had the same seminar before they recorded these interviews, I think. So then we go back to the hot, depressed people. We got Unway Lady putting on her coat with great melancholy, Unway Guy gets it as sweet 67 cherry red Mustang heads to work, break in balls.

Yeah, like basically just this whole film, she's crying and he's yelling. Yes. Yeah. Like I think that's just, they're just these stereotypical, like, I'm mad. I'm sad. I need to manifest more happy. Well, right, and this is this movie's, like, vision of people with problems, right? These are well to do, well off people who have jobs and no major, like, disabilities or

diseases and have plenty of fucking money or whatever, but just feel a little meh. Those are the problems that people face in the world according to the makers of this film, right? Right. Yeah, but you know, sometimes you almost get into a car oopsie and they really want to, they want to emphasize that trauma for the audience. I guess.

Yeah, this is, they're not quite meat cuties pulling into work and he almost runs over her. Right. And you thought this was going to be a moment, right? They were going to yell at each other. She was going to cry and we were going to be like, ah, you see trauma. And now, but no, they both do that hands gesture where you're not sure whose fault it is about a car thingy. And then they both go like, okay, you go.

And then they go, and that's it. That is the fucking trauma that is introduced into this entire fucking film. I guess. So, and then we're going to meet, I'm going to say my third favorite talking ahead in the movie. This is Jonathan Tripodi, BSC. Now, I had never seen the notation BSC. It's bachelor of science because generally speaking people with a bachelor of science don't try to put fucking letters after their name. Don't fucking have a literalized their qualifications. Yes, Eli Bosnick BFA fine arts only.

Please, no regular. Only the finest. Oh, my God. Yeah. I'm here to marry the energy of. And doesn't his Kyron literally say body memory? What does that mean? He's like, I'm Jonathan Tripote, bachelor's body memory, body memory.

State in college for four years. Your brain is inside your flesh. And also he's like in front of a canyon for no fucking reason. Oh, this is Grand Canyon guy. Yeah. Okay. I love this. So they each of them, basically they clearly just shot this on green screens and everybody's

like houses or actually the, I would say the quality of the interviews is not terrible. Like they did hire somebody to light them. But clearly, they just like put them all in front of different backgrounds. So like, one lady is like at the beach and then one guy is in front of a canyon. And I have no idea why. Yeah. I'm trying to get all of nature out there. Yeah. Don's it is horse ranch.

Yeah, it's very unclear. Yeah. No, it's like video gets like platformer levels if you think about it. Yeah. But Jonathan's job in this movie will be to give Noah a second heart attack because he just spends the entire time taking things that I know Noah is like pretty interested in and then telling a remarkably stupid lie about that. Like, you know, um, atoms and molecules are pretty interesting things and I can hear Noah on the other end being like, well, they are pretty interesting things,

and he's like, that's why I can push my hand through space. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and then we have to meet, oh, God, Jesus, these guys are all my third favorite. We're gonna have to meet my other third favorite,

talking head, Dr. Bradley Nelson, who goes by Dr. Brad on his website. Mm. So this is the guy. He is the emotion code guy. Yes, right. I think he's the main guy for this. Yeah.

Like he's the guy who's selling the bullshit. He hired the two camera teenagers to make emotion 2.0. 100 possible. Yeah. Yeah. So what is possible. Yeah. Yeah. So what is Dr. Brad's doctor in? Do we know? Oh, once again, I have no idea.

I went to his website and everything. It says on his website that he is, quote, an internationally renowned teacher and healer with a passion for creating healers out of everyone on earth. End quote, but that's all the detail I could find on one type of medicine. He practices. It says DC, Dr. Bradley Nelson, comma, DC parentheses retired, close parentheses. Oh, Doctor of chiropractic. Yeah. He's a holistic chiropractic physician and medical.

Do it. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Chiropractic physician and medical intuitive. Oh Jesus. Fuck. That's that rules. Can I do that? I'm just walking in the room and I'm like, let me guess, syphilis. Oh, no, your pregnant. Well, I knew it was your

badge. So, you know, if you take his course for the low, low price of $1,500, of course, you can do it. Yeah, because he's, yes, because he's inspired to create healers out of everyone on Earth. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, and every five. Every line on his website, get certified, get certified, click here to get certified. You can take our motion code certification program. Yeah, let me tell you how much it costs hang on. So yeah, energy healing certificate.

So they have three different ones. They have Emotion Code, R in a Circle, Body Code, TM, and Belief Code, R in a Circle, Certification Courses. So it's level one, level two, and level three. Got it, yeah. Just like a real college. Just like a real college. Okay, so level one is $997 plus.

Oh, my fucking God. A bargain. Less expensive than what you paid for your doctorate care. Way less expensive than what you paid for your doctorate care. Way less expensive. Level 2 is $1497 plus tax. Extra $500 worth of bullshit. Yes, fine print.

Please note that all course requirements must be submitted within six months, 183 days from the data purchase after that time. Students will need to purchase course re-enrollment in order to complete certification. Okay. And then level 3, where's level three? I think it costs the same as level two. Oh, this is a deal. This is a deal, yeah, we'll give it a shot.

Yeah, no, only $4,000 ultimately for level three bullshit. That's pretty good. So, and then we get cowboy tonne. He has to come on, he's gonna do this a couple of times. He's gonna have to come on and misdefine words for us here and there. Oh, yeah. I hate this.

Okay, I want to be clear and correct me if I'm wrong on this. Does cowboy Don ever correctly define a word in this movie? No. Okay. No, he correctly uses a few of them, but he constantly does show like this. He goes, well, you know, like the emotion means energy movement. I mean, no it doesn't. Fuck it does it.

Yeah, it literally means to move out, to remove, to agitate, to push away. And I looked up the etymology of the term, emotion was like first used before the word energy was ever used. It, like it can't show. Energy movements, that word didn was ever used. Right. It can't do an energy movement, because that word didn't exist yet. Jesus fucking Christ.

And then Michelle shows back up. She's got this weird, all right. So you tell me, Carrie, you're the brain person. Oh God. When you have to stick your cancer, does your brain draw a little bullseye around it in the brain on the balls part of your brain? You know the balls part of the brain. You don't have one obviously because you don't have balls. Well, it doesn't matter. But if you dare have balls, there'd be that

spot on your brain for your balls. It doesn't matter because apparently and your brain points to it. It's in the same spot. Like John Madden. Did you notice? She says like, you know, testicular ovarian liver, like it doesn't matter what kind of cancer. She literally claims and they show a picture that some physician discovered in his patients that when they had cancer, the way he was able to diagnose it

is because he did an MRI or a CAT scan or something. And there was literally a bullseye, like a physical drawing of a bullseye on top of a spot, and it looked like it was sort of in like the fronto temporal region. It makes no sense. Like not only do we know enough about the brain to know that is not the region where this would happen, but also the thing they're saying happened doesn't make sense at all. And what's even worse is it doesn't even support her fucking point. Cause then she has to say, and so we asked them what they were thinking about when that happened. And they would say, you know, they were thinking about their kids dying or they were thinking about their,

their puppy that died or whatever. And then, and that's how we knew that the sadness was causing the cancer. What a piece of shit thing to say. Yeah. You know what? Look, I know that the two things that I've established about you as a person is that your child died and you now have to stick your cancer. But I just marched in here to let you know that you're really fucking this up.

Okay. Really making this worse for yourself. And luckily, when I did a brain scan on you, there was a fucking bull. I was a bullseye. Bullseye. You're both cancer. Exactly. So then fucking John Canyon man, Tripoli, BSC shows up to tell us about the wonders of

connective tissue. Fasha. Oh, I haven't heard Fasha bullshit since I was in acting school and people told me to act from my Fasha. This is a call. This is a call back for me guys. I really enjoyed this. This was nice. Well, in case you're not aware, Fasha is a protein that tells your ear how your big toe is feeling. Is that about correct? Yeah. I think so. I don't know. It rules so much because Fosha theory, right, is like almost close to kind of sort of accurate if an alien had to dissect a human in a hurry. So basically what Fosha theory is is like, your body has lots

of connective tissue. How do they define connective tissue? Whatever the fuck I want it to mean. Because sometimes it means like the literal connective tissue, but sometimes it's just like any collagen or a last in deposits in your body anywhere. And so what Fosha theory posits is that all that stuff is literally and physically connected. Like you have a fucking stretch arm strong, a fascia running through your body. Yeah, it's like they heard the word connective tissue

and they go, oh, everybody's connected to everything. And it's like, no, no, connective tissue, like connects, you know, different types of tissue to each other. That's all it is. Like that's not, it doesn't mean your ears connected to your toe. So really this opens up the door to like your ideology, for analogy, reflexology, you know, all the bullshit pseudosciences where it's like, if I poke you on your foot right here,

it's going to cure your liver, blah, blah, blah. And they just keep coming back to that over and over. But before we do cowboy Don has to show back up and tell us now that symptom means sign of chaos. Oh yeah. Are we failing some kind of quiz? That's what it feels like. He's like, oh, and another thing, this apple is blue. Nope, nobody's gonna stop me. This is a bad world, right?

Where I could just say this apple's blue. Yeah. Yeah. No, buddy. All right, totally legal. Okay. Yeah. And so and then as we're talking, of course, we watch Unwee Lady get into the elevator with much on we John Kenyon, man, he comes up and he goes, you know, the AMA says that 80% of health issues are stress related. And there's a lot of problems with the way he's employing that sense. But the first thing I want to pluck out of it is like, all right, man, so we're using the AMA as an authority. Right.

Right. What does the AMA say about all the other dumb connective tissue? Shit, you just. I feel like this happens so much with pseudoscience. It's like they pick and I mean, that's why it's pseudoscience, right? Because there's always like a kernel of something legitimate in there. And pick and shoot, they'll be like, but science, and I'm like, you can't do that. You don't get the privilege of using science, right? Because you've just shown us that science

doesn't matter to you, that you're more interested in magic. Yeah. Well, because immediately after invoking the AMA, he starts invoking, you know, traditional Chinese medicine and ayurvedic medicine and set, you know. He says traditional Chinese medicine and ayurvedic medicine understood that emotions affect the body. And I'm like, I mean, to be fair, all the old medicines understood that emotions affected the body. I don't think. Do the new ones. Yeah. Yes. Like this idea, okay, health issues and stress are related. Okay, stress and disease are related.

And then the very next sentence, so you can think yourself sick. No, I can't do that. I can't just like, I can't just like think really, really, really hard and then I have RSV. Right. It doesn't work that way. And then he does that,

amaze, I love this section so much because that's when he does the stupid like metaphors become reality and your body thing, right? He's like people who are grieving have lung issues. Yeah. If you feel obligated, it's in your knees. All right. My notes, this is the worst magic show I've ever seen. Oh, yeah. Didn't the stupid woman come on the heels of that and be like, you know, the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You get like your neck hurt. Yes.

Yes. Because it's a whole planet. That would be very heavy on your shoulders. So, yeah, so we got, we have two more talking heads. We have to meet now. We meet Elaine, Harriet, Elaine, Harriet. Anyway, I had him down as Max, Max, headroom's grab our earlier. He's going to chime in here and there. He's the author of the wonder method. Yes. Also,

the books Quantum Touch and super quantum touch in case regular quantum touch doesn't cut it. I finished his first book. Fuck, I forgot butthole. Sorry, everybody. We got to do a sequel. We got to do a sequel. And we also meet Naseem Haramane with the delightfully promising Kairan, quote, physicist and director of the resonance project. Oh, I love hate him. They only use him once though. Did you notice that? Yeah, I felt cheated out of my Nassim. To be fair, this is the most coherent sentence I think he's ever spoken. I went down a YouTube rabbit hole of Nassim, a hermit. He doesn't have a long enough movie for us to review, but I just watched a video after video where he'd be like, you guys like math?

Well, how about tomatoes? Biddy biddy biddy biddy biddy. It's not illegal to be wrong. Yeah, he comes out for just a second. He goes inside the nucleus of every atom is information on every other atom in the universe. And before you can say, what the fuck are you talking about? He's disappeared from our lives, never to return. Yeah, he literally is like, I've written mathematics that brings concepts. But,

I'm like, what? You sure haven't, man. We also beat, oh, sorry, we have the third talking head. This is where we meet Sonia Choket. Mm-hmm. I have her as the oldest lady at the orgy. She's the founder of sixth sensory living, whatever the fuck that

is. Really hope that's a retirement home for psychics. That's what I know. Sure. That's what I know. So, and then we need also my third favorite of all of the talking heads. This is Dr. Amelia Hardwick. Again, I don't know Dr. What she, but she's, I think she's actually. She has a side. Yeah. Yeah. So she has a similar degree. So I have a PhD in clinical psychology. She has a side D. So a PhD requires that you do academic research.

It requires a dissertation. A side D is basically like an applied psychology doctorate. So everything is clinically focused. And instead of doing a dissertation very often, they'll do like a case study or something like that. But she did technically get, that means she has to have an undergraduate in psychology and then she got a graduate degree,

a doctorate in psychology. And this scares the living shit out of me. Yes, yeah. Truth be told though, I wanna look into it because she may not be licensed. Like she does, I think she sees patients, but does she see them as a psychologist? I don't know. I am very scared for her patients.

This woman is so dangerous. Yeah. Also, why is Jennifer Coolidge playing her in the first place? She's my question. I don't understand. Is she doing a study for a legally blonde for that we didn't get to see in theaters? See, I looked at her website, it's covered in fucking butterflies and it says, he'll transform a send across it.

And I'm just like, there's no fucking way you have a legitimate degree. I guess, yeah, Cara, that's a good question. When someone gets a legitimate degree and then loses their shit, do they quietly come and take it away from you? Because I think if you don't like, take out someone's liver and eat it in front of them, you're still technically all the right letters at the end of your chiroin, right?

Well, that's the thing, right? So this woman, yes, she still has her side, but from her website, I could be wrong. From her website, it doesn't look like she has a license. Interesting. Because she kind of books herself as a, she offers coaching and therapy. And so oftentimes when you see people who offer coaching sessions, like a lot of people have told me, I should do this.

I don't really know if I feel comfortable with it. But for me, for example, I got my PhD in clinical psychology, but I'm not yet licensed because I just got my PhD. So I have to do a postdoc. I have to get even more hours and take even more courses and then take a licensing exam. And I have to keep my licensing exam up to date, which means continuing education credits. And until I have my license, I'm not allowed to practice independently. I have to practice under the supervision of a license psychologist. But some people get around that by instead of offering psychology services and instead of like, you know, having people

fill out HIPAA compliant paperwork and informed consent and all the legal things you have to do if you're a psychologist, they just offer quote coaching sessions. And you don't need any sort of license or there's no regulation for coaching. Interesting. That's just like a made up thing. And she is offering coaching a lot on her website, which makes me think she doesn't have a psychology license. All right, so Dr. Amelia, very sus.

Yeah, very sus. We also bring back fucking Dr. Brad for a second. This is where he tells us that he's cured people with chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. Yeah. Right. Do you have really no more gallons disease in there, man? You never cared him, or gallons?

Okay, some more gallons. We also meet Robert Smith. He's just Robert Smith. No pretensions on this motherfucker. I can't even pretend. I clicked that certification thing and I was like, $900. I'll just start lying. Indeed, I did. I had a moment when this guy started talking and he said that he's cured cancer. There was a moment where you, I felt like I watched him cross a Rubicon, which was really interesting.

Like it was a very interesting performance to watch him be like, yeah, there's all sorts of diseases like cancer. And I was like, oh, yeah, I saw you damn yourself to hell. Like in his head, he was signing a fiery contract for a man with red skin and a long blood red quill. And I was like, yeah, buddy, that is an evil thing to say. You did it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yep. All right. Well, obviously we can't expect care to relive the trauma of this movie without periodic breaks. So we're going to take a minute off, but we'll back soon with even more emotion 2.0. Hey podcast listener, I'm Eli Bosnick. And I'm Cara Santa Maria. I'm terrible with money.

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You're like really bad. Thank you, Kara. They get it. No, like really bad. Okay. Give me a ladder truck over here. I need way more pressure. You got it, Chief. Okay, I'm sorry. Can I help you? Sure. Namaste. I'm here to help.

Are you a firefighter? EMT? No friend, I'm a manifestation expert and I'm here to put out that fire. Oh really? And how are you gonna do that? Well, I'm gonna open myself up to the universe and then the universe will put out that fire. Oh, well so I guess you don't need us. Oh, I mean you you don't need us. Oh. I mean, you can still do your work. I'm just also going to be doing mine.

Oh, no, look, if you're going to put out the fire, don't let me stand in your way with all these hoses and stuff. Hey, Greg. Yetchi? This guy's going to put out the fire. Right, we don't need to worry about it. Let it relieve. Maybe you guys could just hang around in case. And you don't, you know, don't you talk about yourself, like, damn it. Ah, what a relief. Maybe you guys could just hang around in case...

And don't, you know, don't you talk about yourself like that. You are open to the universe and you are gonna put out that fire. See ya! Okay, um, yep, here we go. Open to the universe. My baby! I'm working on it! Here we go. Open to the universe. My baby! I'm working on it! Ha ha ha ha! It's horrible!

Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk have a headache, you know, you know, headaches get worse when you think about them, which no, that's not, I don't know that. I have no idea what the fuck he's talking about. What a weird culture. Like so much of this is bad, I, not to get to like long-tail marketing here, but as someone who's done a lot of mental magic in their life, I've never seen more bad mentalism in a fucking movie. You know how, when you fell fell when you were a kid,

you have a scar on your right knee? Well, that's why you could hear your cancer with lemon juice. It's just fucking with, is it not a red card? So yeah, so but this is where they're gonna start telling us about the importance of detoxing. You knew we were getting there, right? Oh yeah. importance of detoxing, you knew we were getting there, right? So yeah, and also how like anti-depressants are neurotoxins? Yes, and so there's a scene of menophan.

Yeah, even had a pair of hair in your own toxin, yeah. Block our quote signal, they just, they just use words. They just say word. They just say word. They don't word. Can I say I'm jealous. Yeah, I'm jealous. I would love to be as confident about the things I say as these fucking assholes are.

I am constantly, well, I hope that came out right and the people like, but it would be so nice to just be like hot pockets. Now them to Nernotoxin, all right. What you're going to need to do is get four tomatoes and a full moon. Right? That's it. Dr. Brad comes back. He's like, you know, 90% of the pain we feel is due to trapped emotions. And I'm like, well, you haven't fallen off enough stages. Yeah.

Clearly. I would like Dr. Brad to get in a car crash. I mean, I mean, I mean, that generally, I also mean it about it. Right. Like I could just smack it one good time and be like, okay, now it's 89%. Now get your emotions, keep your emotions chill. I bet we could convince Dr. B. If we took it serious enough, we could convince Dr. Brad to do a demonstration of how slapping doesn't hurt him after he's meditated and we would

all get a chance to slap him. We could do this together. And the whole time, you'd be like, the molecule, the molecule, the trams, the molecules. His face just swelling. They love those words though. They love the word like cell. They don't know what cells are,

but they love to reference cells and apparently cells trap all sorts of things. They love neurotransmitters. They love receptors. They love molecules. Download. Oh, download. A lot of things. Download.

I think at some point there's a schematic of a baby, and then there's like a little save icon on the baby's head and like a down and air. Like a downloading emotion. It's downloading emotion. And they love how like, and but they put them all together. So they'll literally talk about negative emotional molecules. Yeah. Like they think that these are real things.

Yep. And so, and this is what I love so fucking much about these stupid ass movies and their tenuous grasp on the therefore concept. After explaining for this entire movie that every bad thing is because of negative emotions, right, 90% of our pain, all of our disease, everything is bad emotions. Suddenly Dr. Amelia comes up and she's like,

also, think of all the air pollution and the pesticides on our food. And I'm like, well, that wouldn't matter, right? Because it's emotions. It was that the entire premise of this fucking movie is that I could eat directly out of Monsanto's dumpster and it wouldn't fucking matter as long as I had a positive attitude about it, right?

No, but Noah, clearly you were listening because she explained herself so well. She said, negative emotions that are in your cells, right? They're bad. And when you eat pesticides, the negative emotions seal the pesticides into your- Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, they're sort of like, you know how you have to primer, coat a paint primer, finish. Yeah, that's what the pesticides are doing.

And something about a lock and a key because E-motion, two points. Right, yes, yes. I like these movies because they appeal to the kind of stupid I am, which is fun. Right, like they're like, what don't people know? And I'm like, what don't I know? And they're like, do you know how cells work? And I'm like, I fucking don't.

And they're like, well, that's because I have to silence lock in the negative emotions. And I'm like, couldn't tell you they don't. Better not tell me mitochondria isn't the powerhouse of the cell because they're clear on, but other than that, you and me know equal amounts of ourselves emotion 2.0. mitochondria is a bit much. Yeah, they definitely don't use that word at all in this. That's they're like, oh, mitochondria, that's too much. That's about my big gray. So and then Dr. Daring comes out, it's like, I, my, that's too much. That's about my pain. Great.

And then Dr. Daring comes out, like, I'll be until now it's just been kind of silly and funny and you have to think about it for a bit for it to get poisonous and despicable. But this is where Darren Weisman shows back up to make that clear, right? When he comes up, he's like, look, nobody is born broken, right? Nothing happens by accident. Yeah, that's not a loaded fucking sentence. Oh, my God. And I'm like, yeah, nobody's born broken, right? Nothing happens by accident. That's not a loaded fucking sentence. Oh my God. And I'm like, yeah, nobody's born broken. Sure, man. But people are born disabled.

People are born with like medical conditions that limit the things that they can do. Your entire philosophy is telling those people that that is their fault. Yeah. Like so, okay, here's a perfect example in Eli. I know that you can relate to this. And probably like every listener of the show can relate or they know somebody you can. I am a clinical psychologist who has put a lot of effort into understanding mental illness.

I go to therapy. I do a lot of lifestyle changes to try to kind of approach my, you know, and make my clinical depression something that I can function with. I've had depression since I was a child. I think of myself as being in sort of remission because I have a lot of coping mechanisms. I'm high functioning. I'm very lucky in that regard. If I miss two, this just happened to me a couple of weeks ago. If I miss two doses of my SSRI, just two, I wake up crying. Like I literally, and like, I'm like, what is wrong? Oh, yeah.

Oh, right, yeah, that pill, that pill is what I need. Yes, the thing that I take that, and there's, don't get me wrong, there are all sorts of other components to depression. And I work really, really hard at it, but basically what they're saying is that is not real. Yeah, right. I just, you're just holding on to emotions from when your mom was pregnant with you or whatever.

Right, right. So then how do they explain that when I do take my meds, I don't wake up crying. Yeah. How do they explain that? How do they explain medicines? This is other different medicine emotions. I've found that offensive, but can I tell you what upset me most about this talking head section? It was when they put the little after effects, Kamehameha light in between his hands

while he was doing his trans hair. They give him the little magic ass. Who did that? He is talking. There's no, he's not demonstrating anything. He's not like visualizing anything. He's just talking and we see him go like, shoo!

What is that? Yes. Was the editor just to happen if I was like, oh, you know what, I actually bought a whole pack of these visual effects. What if I did this and they were like, fuck yeah, that's great. This is also

my favorite. And look, I've heard a lot of bad explanations for why you're fat. This is my favorite, which is, yes. You see, if you're sad, you feel small and you don't take up space in the world. So your body gets fat. Yes. So that you can take up, take the world. Take for all the space you didn't take up. Right. And I was like, okay, maybe she means it as a metaphor. And she's like, and I want to be clear, I don't mean that as a metaphor. It's not about the amount of food you eat. I mean that you physically grow larger magically. Yes. Like fuck yeah, talking fuck yeah. Yeah. Yeah, what does this sentence mean? Every so-called problem of the body is a portal

What the any of the sentences is a great question. Do you notice that they have to like legal it because they've they've clearly all dealt with a lot of lawsuits And so you'll you'll hear they'll be like talking so much nonsense and then they'll go I mean in my experience Yes here, there'll be like talking so much nonsense and then they'll go, I mean, in my experience, yes. That's the key point. Qualifying. Hypothetically. Yeah. And this is the point where I start getting mad in the documentary because I had cancer.

And like they keep saying that you've got all this, they're, they're big talking point is trap demotions, right? Yes. That you have these trapped emotions from previous traumas, and if you don't feel your feelings and you don't process those emotions, then they build up and build up and they manifest as physical illness,

and they keep talking about cancer, right? Like you just have to feel your emotions and then your cancer will go, I feel my feelings. Oh the fucking time. I clearly not. Why did I get cancer? I wrote in my notes,

Cara, did you get cancer because you haven't forgiven me for my prank websites? I wrote that in here somewhere. That's it. Yeah, Cara, do you think I can use more of a cancer? That's a reasonable explanation, you know.

Because you haven't forgiven me for my prank websites. Would you like to do that on air now to prevent you from getting future cancers? That's what I wrote. So. I like how you're taking zero responsibility. In this. Well, he's not feeling great.

My feelings are open and brought. I'm feeling totally that you did 9-11. You're dead people dentist. I'm unafraid. I'm living my truth. I'm manifesting. I can't say shit. I had a heart attack.

So clearly I'm not feeling my emotion seat. No, we're in a bus. That's the thing. I mean, I know we keep saying it over and over and I know that this is like an old trope and it's nothing new, but like this is really dangerous. What they're peddling is really dangerous because it's fundamentally victim blaming.

It's taking people who have struggled in the world because of things that they had zero control over and saying, no, but really deep down you did have control over it. You're not sure how you can't figure out how to access it. That's a failure on your part. Just pay me a little bit more money and I'll help unlock you. Then you'll be at level two and you can finally know why you got cancer.

It's every fucking cult. Every cult follows this exact same playbook. Well, and of course, it's also when it's, you know, it's every bit is insidious in that it tells people it gives people permission to ignore the suffering of other people too, right? Like so it's not just your cancer is your fault, but it's also like, well, you know, your sister who has cancer, you don't really have to like hit that's her shit. That's she's she she just needs to unlock her emotions and get the pesticides out of her cells. And then she'll be fine. It's not incumbent upon you to help her because she's less fortunate. She did

that shit to herself. Right. Exactly. She just needed to eat a whole lemon every morning. Right. It also like it undermines the entire field of cancer biology. Let's not forget that. It's so insulting to anyone and everyone who's dedicated tirelessly, and oftentimes very thanklessly, their career to understanding tumor suppressor genes and oncogenes and carcinogens and all of the different components of cancer biology.

Well, right, and when this stupidity gets ubiquitous enough, it starts to affect things like funding for that research. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So, okay. And now we meet my second favorite talking head in the movie. Yes.

I'll be on promoting this motherfucker. This is Raymond Grayson. Raymond is underqualified, even by this movie's Kairan's standards. He is listed as Doucher and author. Fuck yeah, baby. Write stuff down, points it stuff with sticks. And it's probably, I'd say that he is also in this film. We can probably call him cowboy number two.

Yes, sure. I have him as cowboy Raymond. Yeah, there are many cowboys in this film, but like cowboy Dawn or Dan or whatever's name is and cowboy Raymond are like central casting cowboys. Yeah, absolutely. And cowboy Raymond's mouth and body and sound could not less match the things he's saying, right? He sounds like who's that Sam guy that turns out to be problematic? That cowboy man, talk like that. He was in the lady God God. Yeah, everyone's all way for him because he talks slightly lower than a normal person.

Yeah. That's how Raymond talks, except he's like, you got all learned to accept your cheat and get on the rant. Nine shockers of the fight. I just imagine that like how many old country buffets has someone scooted up next to him at the diner and been like, hey old salt, how's it going? It's like well.

It's really, yeah, right? I'm just manifesting my destiny and they're like, holy fucking shit, what? Like, forget trans kids and gay pride parades. Let's just send Raymond Grace around. Governor Abbott will shoot himself in the mouth with a T-shirt gun If we can put him in a room with Raymond Grace Oh, you're so he'll be like Raymond Grace is too woke for me that doubt too much too much to woke that Dowsing oh my god, and he's legitimately a dowser like mm-hmm

It blows my mind that these people still exist. It's such the dumbest possible pseudoscience. It's an Ouija board, dowsing is Ouija board. Yes. It's the same thing. It's honestly Ouija board is like a sophisticated form of dowsing. Don't you? I was gonna say Ouija boards look way less silly.

You get to hold hands with someone. Yeah. Dousing is if you lost your, like, the pieces to your weegee board set. And then you're like, this like little pendulum will do. Like I'll just hang a thimble from a piece of string. It's fine. Don't worry. He's going to demonstrate some dousing force before it's all over.

We're going to get back to him. But then we also have to have the dude who comes in, generic guy who comes in and tells us about how our temperament is our emotional refractory period. And I'm like, you're just daring me to make come jokes now. They sure are. Yeah. Your refractory period lasts for weeks or months. Talk to your doctor. Yeah. And then Michelle comes on. I think she's like trying to answer. Cara's question about if she feels her feelings, who I did, she get cancer right? Because is what he said. Yeah. Yeah. And then Michelle comes on. I think she's like trying to answer Keras question about if she feels her feelings, who I did, she get cancer, right? Because this is where Michelle comes on. And she goes like, well, you know, you may think you've

forgiven somebody, but maybe your liver hasn't forgiven them yet. Yeah. And they now, I, again, I think they sort of dance around it in the least tasteful way possible, but there does seem to be a moment where she's like, and look, maybe you were sexually assaulted and you need to stop being so weird about that. It's like, yeah, just, you know, get over it and smile. So this is where Robert Smith comes in to talk about the placebo and no sebo thing. He gets both of those terms wrong. Yeah, impressively wrong.

So tired of people making arguments about the placebo effect as if it's an actual thing. Yeah. It blows my mind. A placebo is a lack of an active ingredient. That's all it is. A placebo is nothing. When people talk about the quote placebo effect,

they're not actually talking about the lack of active ingredient doing something. They're talking about non-specific effects. They're talking about things like expectation effects. They're talking about things like when people go see a doctor, even if they don't get medicine, being heard and having somebody listen to them

reduces their stress, and that can actually have positive outcomes for them. It's not literally that if you like think hard enough, you'll cure yourself. That's not what a placebo is. Yeah, and look, we've heard placebo bullshit before, right? We hear it all the time. And well-intentioned non-conman,

get what the placebo effect is wrong on a pretty regular basis. It's fine, it's a confusing thing for non-professionals. But this no-cebo effect thing, that was new for me. I was very happy when he was like, and then the no-cebo effect is when medicines don't work. And I was like, I feel like it's not that. No, right?

Yeah, the no-cebo effect is technically the opposite of the placebo effect, but it's not really the opposite because it's the same thing. It's expectation effects just in the other direction. It's that if somebody thinks that something is going to be harmful, then they might have these expectation effects of harm. And then there's some psychological components that make them feel like they've been harmed. It's the exact same phenomenon just in the quote opposite direction. Yeah.

Well, it like the Robert Smith guy, he gives away the game right because he's like, well, there was this scientific study. I'm not going to mention it. You don't know Hershey's from Canada where they gave people fake radiation therapy and they still lost their hair, you know, like a third of them and still lost their hair. But you also don't lose your hair from radiation. You lose your hair from chemo. Well, yeah, I did. The expected to get that correct. But then like, my question is like, okay, but what did it do to the cancer then? Right? Like if you're saying it, it like caused people to lose their hair.

Well, like we know that there are psychological reasons like stress reasons where you can lose your hair. Yeah. Right? That's a thing that stress can cause. But is there a fucking version of this where their cancer got better? If not, shut the fuck up about, right?

I don't know. I'd really like to talk to that review board that was like, oh, you want to get people say radiation, radiation, and you want to kill the other half. Yeah, no, that's okay. That's cool. Let's go and try that one out. But hey, right down your shit, okay? None of this sloppy handwritten note stuff.

I want it typed up at the end of the day when you kill all those kids with leukemia. I just noticed Noah that both of us wrote the same thing here. We both wrote, how is this different from Scientology? Right. Because this is where they start talking about like how like even when you were in in utero, you could catch like your parents bad emotions and shit. And I'm like, okay, we're now we're just doing Scientology. Yeah. Yeah, like you just need to come in for a reading, right? You just need like with the e-meter and all that.

It's like, it's no different. And of course, this is the part that personally for me was the most insulting is when Dr. Amelia comes up and she starts talking about like, uteruses and how like women, it's so funny. She's like, this myth that women can't have children after a certain age, I mean, it's a myth. Although, I mean, after a certain age, it's not a myth.

But like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's the funniest myth. You're like, wait, what? And then she literally is so non-medical and non-scientific. She, like, hymns and haws and can't use words like uterus or fallopian tube or vagina or cervix or vulva. She says like, you know, like your female organs and she kind of waves her hand around and she was like, there's just too much emotional debris.

Right. So I think I got cervical cancer. Do you think there was a cut where she called it like your vejussy where she was like, there's too much amusez in your vegesi? Yeah, she was like, you're who ha, your who ha has the sads. So what I took away from that is that my female organs have emotional debris and that's why I got cervical cancer. But if I just, if I clear out my emotional debris, I could probably make babies, even though I don't have a uterus anymore. Probably if I think hard enough. That's why I stopped crumpling up my journal pages and putting them

in Bumbot because I don't want rectal cancer. That's exactly what makes that emotional debris. Right. No, so it's, yeah, she explains that sometimes, yeah, sometimes the infertility, yeah, sometimes that's the thing, but sometimes it's just that your uterus is sad because of an abortion. She uses that as a fucking example. And then she explains that she met a woman one time. She had a client a patient that was 44. I don't think she uses the word patient. Does she? She's better. Not. Yeah, right. Coaching friend. Oh, right. Yeah, right. She says she, there's a 44-year-old woman. And once she cleared that lady's that ladies emotion boom she had twins. Well, and what's weird is she actually points out that the lady was having IVF.

Right. She was like, oh, she did everything. She was going through IVF, but then, you know, she did coaching with me. Boom twins that thing famously caused by IVF. Yes. And she had Dr. Amelia goes, I could even show you their picture. And I'm like, what would that prove, I could even show you their picture. And I'm like, what would that prove?

No matter how many you got me, you got me. There were two babies in that photo. Totally not a, not a hip avialation at all. Yeah, right, right again. I guess it's not if you're a made up doctor. Right. No hippas. I'm quite a good coaching spot.

Yeah, exactly. And so and then Darren explains that your subconscious mind also broadcasts all those trapped emotions, which seems weird if they're trapped. Right. Like, not sure how that works. But we get a visual representation. In case you can't see, can't imagine that we see on we guy with rings coming out of his head.

So that's what that would look like in King's. And then he literally says like the dude's dad and mom's emotions download to the baby and they show a schematic like they paid somebody to do like a really shitty illustration. There's a binary code raining onto the feet. And there's a little save icon with a down arrow. So I think he's trying to use the word download metaphorically, but not like he actually thinks that's how this works is that emotions rain on fetuses. Yeah. actually thinks that's how this works is that emotions rain on fetuses. Yeah, well, as someone who has just finished,

David Ike's absolute fucking tomb of everything they want you to know or don't want you to know or whatever the fuck it was, it was eight billion pages and we just finished it. What I've learned is that bullshit artists are aware that electronics words exist, but have no relationship to them in reality. So that's why we're getting a lot of downloads and matrixes. Yeah, right, right.

But the key here though is that sometimes the bad shit that happens to you isn't your fault. It's your mom's fault. Right. Right. That's the key takeaway. And then we see on we lady at this point, she said in a bar and she's flirting with a hot dude, but then he just walks off because of course she was projecting negativity at him apparently. Oh yeah. So then she just drinks her wine. Yeah, she gets so sad. She goes immediately back to the on-we face. And we also have the dauzer, right? So this is like the Sam Watt's name, cowboy, trying to give us his opinion on child psychology, which the fuck do I care what this guy thinks about child psychology?

Girl, yeah. And at one point, this is my favorite line in the whole movie, guys. He says, this is patterns. This is patterns. And can I say he's not wrong. It is patterns. And I know it sounds like I'm giving you that decontextualized.

No. No. That's just what this is pattern. It would be impossible to contextualize any sentence said in this movie because no one sentence relates to the next sentence. No, that's true, yeah. Exactly.

But Eli, this is patterns. This is patterns. So then, so this is a great line too. This one really struck with me and we all had the same note immediately after this as well. This is where Dr. Brad pops in and he's gonna tell us how much better our subconscious mind is at remembering shit

than our conscious mind. But the example he uses to open up is he's like, you know, our conscious mind doesn't remember very well. We don't remember what we had for breakfast yesterday. And then we all wrote, don't we? I do. Fuck, doesn't remember what they had for breakfast. You should see someone, Dr. Brad.

Yeah, it is an interesting insight into Dr. Brad's mind. He's like, I reset entirely every 24 hours, all I do. I read the certifications on the wall. I walk into my office and that's my life. I'm I'm mentoing and no one has noticed for the last 13 years. Right. Because the I also said it's not just that I don't remember what I had for Brett. He also says that we don't remember what we had for breakfast yesterday or where our laptop is or our keys or our wallet. And I'm like, you have dementia.

I'm like that's good. Like I'm worried about Dr. Brad. Who are children are? What? Oh, this next part is my favorite. Okay, so after this, they have this like animation of blood. And they're like, your blood pumps your feelings, like your vision molecules, pump your blood.

So literally like, he's like, your blood is pumping your frustration. And there are these receptors in your blood that bind the emotion molecules. And for the, what I wrote was I, they forgot to teach me about those in biology. It's a side thing. You got to do a summer class to learn about the jealousy and frustration. You can't actually have the word frustration pumping through veins. It's like as a biologist, I just, yeah, I forgot to take that like extra kind of subspecial in the frustrateology 101. Yeah.

And then he says, these are the same receptors that bond heroin. And my notes are just, which receptors, the ones that ingest the chemical of jealousy? Yes. Who is talking to about what? Yeah, he literally, he literally says the same molecules of emotion that are pumping through blood bind to the receptors that bind heroin, which from a scientific perspective, he's saying that emotions bind to opiate receptors. What would that mean? Opiate receptors bind heroin.

But the funny thing is, he might be like sometimes when you try to make sense of nonsensical stuff, it's like he might be like sometimes when you try to make sense of nonsensical stuff, it's like he might be talking about endorphins because endorphins are hormones that are secreted and they actually do kind of activate opiate receptors, but they cause an analgesic effect. Endorphins make us feel good, not bad. So it's like even his, in a stretch, his argument is backward. Yeah, even if you're going out of your way to be kind to it, yeah, he's still wrong. It's, it's my mom describing a movie she saw with actor. She doesn't remember

the scientific statement. Right. Who's the chemical receptor? He does frustration and jealousy. And he was in it with heroin. You loved him. He was in heroin with heroin. Anyways, he died. He also says, by the way, the frustration molecules that first of all pump through your blood, like this is what?

Okay, so the frustration molecules pumping through your blood that then bind to, he doesn't know the word opiate receptor. So he has to say the same receptors that bind heroin. He's like, you know how when you take heroin once you're an addict. No, no. That's not how that works at all. That's it's demonstrably false.

And Danic don't leave you. And then he just stops talking. And you're like, you're like, but what was the point of that entire argument? You're just wanted to mention that if anyone's gotten a heroin, I'm buying. Throw that out there. No, but his point though is that you get addicted to being frustrated or being jealous and that that's why you're that was this. Well, but like if that was actually his point,

no, why didn't he say that? Well, because he is incapable of making a point direct coherence. And every point has to come at you from an angle or something. He has only oblique point. Oh, he's, so then we get this, we get the little max plant quote about how the old garden used to

die off and then everybody will all believe in energy healing or whatever the fuck they're trying to say. Right. Just stop going to school, everyone. Yeah. So that's when we start kicking off the howl portion of ridding ourselves of these negative emotions, right? Sort of.

Well, yeah, it's still pretty vague. So John's going to start us off and he's got some great advice. He says that we all have to have approximately the same emotional regulation as a three year old. Yeah. So Eli, how's that sound? He has a father over three year old. Yeah, it's great. It's chill. I highly recommend I literally as I was watching this movie and as I was getting that advice, I was watching my son scream that he would not in fact go poop on the potty at my wife now. Who is healthily priesn't taken a shit for four days and he's processing his emotions. Healthily he's about to let go of a submarine sandwich, but that is at least he's not holding

any emotional jealousy in his heroin or stuff. Did you know what I'm saying? Did you also notice there's this creepy thing that he says about how your accumulated emotion builds up in your body and it makes you hard. He says this over and over. Yeah. And then it's like, well, all you've got to do is express those emotions and then you won't be hard anymore.

Sure, you get that emotional release is what you do. I get it. Yeah, you go to the work bathroom, you express those emotions first thing in the day for a lot of people are in. Oh, for fuck's sake. So yeah, and again, we have to watch, on we, ladies, showing up for work, hate and life,

and on we guy crying out the window of this gorgeous fucking apartment, right? Yeah. They tell us here that the side effects for psychological medications include suicide and murder, and while suicidal tendencies are one of the warnings they give you for certain medications, I've never heard murder. Cara, is this murder a pretty common side effect for some of the SSRIs?

There's cowboy dance as it is. Also, how can murder be a side effect of it? Right, it feels like it's an effect, really. Oh, man. Oh, you're on Zoloft. Yes, Zoloft gave me terrible dry mouth. Oh, you're dry mouth. Yeah, it made me murder my dad Would have loved some dry mouth. Oh, and Dr. Amelia. Oh, what does she say about it? How like SSRIs

Just move around all of just move the nerve pressure around. Yeah, they just move them around They don't actually do it. It's she clearly doesn't know anything works. Like me cleaning up when someone's coming to my house, I just stuff all the chemicals into my bed. I don't have any depressors to do. Well, luckily, though, Cowboy Don has some actionable advice. He has a three-step process for curing depression. I love this so much because you can watch Cara's despair in her notes.

Oh, Cara stops attempting to communicate information at this point in the movie and the rest of her notes are just like, I hate this. Yep. Yep. So, so here's this, here's this three step process. Number one, you need sunlight. Gotta get out in the sun. And, and okay, let's take these step by step.

Sure. We will give him that there is a, he does kind of seem to sort of, he's heard of vitamin D. You can tell he's from a vet. He's aware of vitamin D. But he's like, you need some sun and depression, but he doesn't really fully explain it. And so we're like, okay, check sunlight. I'm with you so far. Move on.

Sure, sure, so far this, so far this isn't entirely an insane list. Hold on to that while you can't, dear listener, because number two, the colors of the plant foods that you eat have to be orange and yellow. Yes, because what's the good part of the sun? That's right. It's the yellow part that helps you. I wrote my notes and we lost that at one. We're one for one. And three, by the way, is end of list. That's it. Yeah. He says, and I fucking quote, if you eat an orange and pineapple together within 72 hours,

your depression will go away. Yeah, it will blow you away. Kara, Kara, did you actually have a attempt to eat an orange and a pineapple together? Cause here's the thing. I've watched so much bullshit for this show at this point that there's always a little part of me that's like, I mean, we could try eating an orange and a pie out of the ground. I don't know, man.

I just don't, it's like, it's so hard for me to get into the mind of somebody because he clearly is proud of himself. Like when he said that, he had this big fucking shitting grin on his face. Oh, yeah. He is so proud of himself with that depression care. You just eat an orange and a pineapple and then you wait three days. And like, that's such an easy thing to prove, to disprove. Like how, how is he so deluded?

Well, I think honestly, given what we've seen out of this guy, I think it's because he ate an orange in a pineapple and three days later, didn't have depression. Did not have no depression. My notice, I wonder how many people have killed themselves because of you, cowboy Don. Right. Yeah. And then, so then generic guy shows back up to tell us about a scientific study that proves all this bullshit. They showed depressed people equal numbers of pictures of weddings and funerals and the depressed people remembered more funeral scenes. So clearly, you make your own depression by a lack of pineapple. I don't even fucking know. But then they couldn't see Columbus's ships at all on this slide as we're having.

So, just continue to struggle with these if-then-state men. It's like, what is the next logical, oh, these people? Okay, but now, but now it's magic trick time. Oh my god. It's magic trick time, right? Because look, we've done this kind of bullshit before, right? I got my psychology of death. Carried at 9-11.

Okay, we've heard it all. But have you done finger loops to test what's going on in your brain? This movie looks you in your fucking eyes and tells you to do finger loops like you did when you were four and it's polymer part. And if it's hard to pull them apart, that's when your brain is good.

But if it's easy to pull apart, that's when your brain is good. But if it's easy to pull apart, that's when your brain is bad. So you got to do fucking finger loops, weegee boards with your emotion. And then this actress who deserves several Oscars, acts it out as though it's not the silliest fucking thing a human has ever been at. Shit porn actors are watching this one being like, oh, there's got to be a better way to make money than that. Come on, man. You're gonna get sick.

I'm sorry, you're getting sick. Yeah, they call it muscle reflex testing. And first they claim that we have reflexes that control every aspect of our body. No, we don't. What? Nope, that's not a thing. And then, not only can you muscle test yourself, you can muscle test others.

Literally, muscle test a child, an animal, no consent needed. Yeah. Why does it, they said earlier in the movie, the animals don't have anxiety. When they say you could do, first of all, animals don't have fucking thumbs in for it. You have to do it with a chimp, I guess. You have to fucking find Coco, sign language speaking grenade of gorilla.

It's no, it's even dumber than that, but yes, uh huh. And you've got to be like, let me test you got a tap Coco on the knee and be like, yeah, no, she's got fucking depression. Let me tell you right there. So there's a type of pseudoscience called applied kinesiology. And that's all they're repackaging here. Right. It's like, it's a super debunked pseudoscience

that talks about how, you know, you can diagnose illness or choose treatments by testing different muscles for how strong or how weak they are, and they're just repackaging it in a way that they can apply it to their emotional cure. And it's all bullshit. Yeah. And by the way, listen, or lest you think that we're just

talking about a throwaway line and we're globin' onto it or whatever, the animal's thing. This guy, Dr. Brad, tells us a story of using his applied kinesiology trick on a horse. This is the best. I love it. Guys, this is the best thing that's ever happened. You can't do, like Eli said, they don't't have fingers so they can't do finger loops. So what you have to do is have a person do finger loops on behalf of the horse. So we

touch the horse and then you do finger loops with them. Facilitated applied kinesiology now. It's bullshit to the third power. Think about the beautiful world we live in that we can find this man on the street and be like, Hey, tell me that story. And he'd be like, one time a horse saw a bird die. And then the lady he touched her fingers got weak. And that's how I knew it happened. I'm an adult with a driver's license and the same amount of votes as Carol. He says at the beginning of this section, the emotion code works with animals. Yet he hasn't told us, at this point in the film, I'd say we're an hour in.

Close to it, yeah. Like a full hour. Hasn't actually told us, A, what the emotion code is, or B, how the emotion code works. Because, okay, we're talking now about finger loops, but what does it do? Right. Well, we're going to get there and we're going to get there in the most glorious way. But the fact that we've just done a horse depression, cures with facilitated applied kinesiology, dosing is all the bullshit I can take in a single sitting. So I need to stand the fuck up.

First, let me give back through the hard sell. Will on we guy and on we lady get it together in time? Will Don's mustache escape from his face and devour space time itself? Are these beta blockers a waste of my time? Find out the answers to these questions and more when we return for the emotional conclusion of emotion 2.0. No, I can check my calendar on that. Yeah, yeah, sure.

Okay, I'll call you back. Kara! Damn it, guys, really, my fridge. Yeah, we've been in there like 45 minutes. Yeah, what's the matter with you? That thing is empty. Is it Drenacrome filling? Is that what this is?

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Thanks, Cara. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an ice cream headache to sleep off in your bed. I didn't have ice cream in there. He brought his own. I don't know. And what does symptom mean? A sign of chaos.

Cut, sorry, Greg. Hi Larry, hey Caitlin, what's up? Well, sorry, it's just, that's not what symptom means. Oh, no, cause, Sim, Tom. No, no, I know it sounds like words, but you could say what it should mean to us is. Got it. All right, sure. Why don't we move on? Yeah, we'll come back to that. Okay, and action.

Now, when we hold fast to something, what does fast mean? It means to strengthen. Cut. Well again, I'm so sorry, that's not what that means. It does. Like, hold fast. No, it's just a different use of the word, man. Well, all right, why don't we move on again? Okay. Yep. Sure. Let's move on again. Anyway, where was I? Oh, a glass of lemon juice will cure depression.

Finally, he's talking to him since again. I know, right? And we're back for still more of this shit. We're going to rejoin the action, answering Cara's question from right before the break. We're going to get Dr. Brad and he's going to show us the emotion code chart. We're a G board for your fingers. So bad. It's literally, do you remember when you would go to like a haunted house as a kid and

it'd be like, are you a boy ghost? Yes. It's that, but full grown adults for where their emotional baggage is being kept. So he's got this little chart. Along one side, it's got two columns full of emotions. And then on the other side, it has like what those emotions cause. So like rejection, lungs, feeling taken for granted, gallbladder, low self esteem, spleen, that kind of stuff.

That's those are all real examples off of the thing. Yeah. And I also like that if you actually look at the chart, when you give too many nose, they give you a nonsense organ and they're like, well, fine, you know what, if you're going to know twice in a row, spleen, your spleen is wrong. Tell me how your spleen's not wrong. Exactly. Yeah, your stuff is spleen.

Well, so and then here's how it works is you put you do your little finger pulls, your wrist pushes or whatever, and you ask your body, hey, body is my malady and column A or column B. And if you said, and then your body will tell you yes or no by making your finger lock holes harder, your body is accounting horse at at a country fair at a state fair. Clever Homs. Yeah. And then as you figure out where on the chart, your thing is, then you, the next step is it doesn't matter because the way that you're going to cure it is you're going to pet yourself on the head because the governing meridian just governs all the other meridians.

And so why go to the thing that's wrong when you can just go to the top dog? Yeah, I don't know why they're doing the Ouija board. You can just run a magnet. And they can we say they totally sell that magnet. And he's like, yeah, you can just pet yourself or you could use this highly effective magnet. And I was like, oh man, there is an absolute, if this was a TikTok, I would be seeing the

TikTok shop icon underneath your face right now, my dude. So yeah, so the idea is just that once you've locked out which part of your body, your trapped emotion is hurting or whatever, then you rub a magnet against the meridian that controls that emotion, except that as careing out, the governing meridian controls all the other meridians. So no matter what your answer is, you rub a magnet over the top of your head. They show people doing this with the magnetic strip on their credit card. Yep.

In case we were in danger of taking it serious. Yeah. And he actually uses that as a, as a weird metaphor. He's like, the emotion code, it's like when you, when you run a magnet over your credit card and it demagnetizes it. But like you know when you do that, it stops working, right? That's a bad thing. Yeah, that's not a good thing. Well, so okay.

And then Cowboy Raymond shows up to tell us that we can also do all this same stuff with dousing, right? We don't, you don't have to do fancy finger locks if you don't want to. You can also, in case that doesn't look dumb enough, you can also use a pendulum. And he has the best pendulum ever. Okay. So for those of you who don't know what pendulums are, there's this thing called the micromotor response. You hold the thing, it moves when you think in a certain direction because you move it with your fingers when you're not really thinking about it, But it's a mediocre magic trick, except his penja.

The way those usually work is you write yes on one end and no on the other or you do the cross and then one side of the cross is yes and the other side of the cross is no and so you could kind of move it with your brain. But cowboy rayman's pendulum circle is just a circle. It's just a fucking circle that sort of spirals into a yes. So there's no information of pendulum would give you. It's like, and if you notice any movement of a dangly thing, that's to give me $99. That's okay.

What here? Why we come? And then what's he's he tries to explain all of this and then he gets to the end of it and it's made no fucking sense at all and he realizes this and he says he adds. What I'm saying is you can transform one type of energy into another. Yeah, and if you can do that, why haven't you single handedly solve the fossil fuel crisis? Sure. Oh, cold fusion cow, but okay, real question. Would the end of Earth's energy crisis be worth it if we had to interact with cowboy Raymond to do it? My answer is no. I feel like it was

cowboy Don. I'd be with you. I feel like cowboy Raymond made me might be worthwhile. Yeah. All right. I've done changed this power grid into cold fusion for you. That's one. Yep. Yeah. Okay. And maybe I'm reading too much into this, okay, into this next scene, but then we, we see on we lady getting a shoulder rub. Oh, this scene makes me so uncomfortable. I don't think she's getting a shoulder up. She's getting a raky session. Oh, is that what it is? Like this person's, yeah, they're just like holding their hands over and stuff, but her boobies are very prevalent in this scene.

There's a real like, yeah, no, a but her boobies are very prevalent in the scene. Is there a boobies? Yeah, no, a lot of boobies. Like, there's a very like, now sometimes to get all the way cured, you'll have to be naked, kind of a feel to this whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. Because when we see that and the guys robbing her or whatever, and then John comes in and he's like, well, you know, sometimes the therapist has to physically touch you and

they want to touch you in a loving, gentle, sensitive way. And I'm like, oh, God. Yeah. This is taking a dark fucking turn. Yeah, he's talking about massages with release and releasing people's loans. And I run my notes. I bet this guy gets a lot of confusing feedback on Yelp for that phrasing. Hey, are you Mike? confusing feedback on Yelp for that phrasing.

Hey, are you Mike? Yes, yes, of course. Come on in. And so I hear you release people's loads. I do. I do. So tell me what's been bothering you? Well, let's say I've been dealing with a lot of tension, you know, loaded up with tension,

and I could just, I could use your help. Well, that is what I do. So why don't you hop up on the table? Out on the table, okay, yeah, sure. So tell me, anything happening in your childhood, you think that might be causing this tension? Do what? Like, when you were a kid?

I, I don't wanna talk about my childhood, man. I think it's really important if I'm gonna release your emotional energy, okay? Wait, wait a minute, emotional energy? I, I thought you were gonna jerk me off. No, no, no, no, no, I give people massages and we talk through their feelings. Oh, dude, that's disgusting.

Therapy is a real medical practice. You can't just replace it with massage. Okay, I help people. No, you're sick, man. You should be in jail. Hey, guys, thanks for not having me in this sketch. You are welcome, Cara. Welcome. Yeah, just like that, exactly.

So yeah, but we watch her, like we watch her release a load, right? During this raky session, she has an emotional breakthrough. She has an emotional orgasm. It's quite sure. It happens. We see. We see. Hey, Kara, she cries.

I. He like, when's the last time you had an orgasm? I've never, I told you I'm waiting for marriage. It's not his. He's not waiting for Heath's marriage. And then I guess have one. Oh, oh, I love this next claim that physicists have confirmed what the ancient scholars knew. Everything is made of light.

What? No, they haven't. Sure haven't. Sure. Even the ancient scholars would be like, I never fucking said that. Dude, don't lie about this stuff. I said, I'm a maggot come out of meat, but I don't fucking think they were made out of light. That's stupid. Right, no, the one thing that the ancient fucking scholars and the physicists agree on is that you're wrong.

I'm about that. And so... The universe is like 27% dark matter, which is by definition not visible light. Nope. And it's about 68% dark energy according to CERN. Well, there you go. So it's like it's anti-light, really.

And hey, if you like that kind of wrong, let's cut over to cowboy Don, who's gonna let us know that the only fruit on Earth that has bile is lemons. And when I wrote that sentence down, I just wrote, what the fuck am I writing? What have I chosen to do with my life? This is where Don really goes off the fucking rails. And that's saying something for how off the rails he was to do with my life? This, this is where Don really goes off the fucking rails.

And that's saying something for how off the rails he was to begin with, right? Because first he tells us that the, but everything's made of light. Then he tells us that you can cure all your problems by going for a walk. His literal advice for depression is walk it off, right? Yeah. I, and I want the fucking little league coach movie about psychological health. Yeah, and I want the fucking little league coach movie about psychological health and then he tells us that that anions are bio That lemons are the only food that contains anions I

Bio which is weird because we eat livers so that you think there would be some bio But no, it's just, he recommends a fresh, a cup of fresh squeezed lemon juice every day. Yo, do you know how much fucking lemon juice that gives you? Oh my God. Does he give you heartburn so bad that you're like, you know, I'm not suicidal anymore. I just want the heartburn to end. And he literally claims that if you do this,

that in 90 days, your liver failure will be reversed. Yep. Well, to be fair, most people who have liver failure die within like 24 hours of that happening. So, you think your liver failure will be revert, your liver will no longer be failing. Yeah, well, when life gives you liver failure,

make lemonade, clearly. Make anions, yeah. So, god, only fucking gives you liver failure, make lemonade. Clearly. Make anions, yeah. So God only fucking knows what he's going for. And then Dr. Amelia explains that our big problem is that we're afraid to spend more time in the sun. Mm-hmm. Right, we gotta just lay out and get our vitamins and sun minerals and whatnot.

Yeah, because if you're lacking neurotransmitters, you just need some amino therapy. Yes, I was like, ooooh! But then she doesn't tell us what that is. Nope, nope. And then Cowboy Don explains to us that shockrace are actually very scientific, just like a very scientific thing that I also know about that also has seven things in it. So... Oh, I went down to like an internet googlingling, rabbit hole, because I was like, are there

seven Neo Endocrine lands? There aren't. There are a lot of Neo Endocrine lands, but they have defined it as seven levels of Neo Endocrine lands, meaning that there are kind of Neo Endocrine lands in all the places that they kind of say shock res are. So what is a Neo Endocrine gland? Keep in mind that one of the shockras is above your fucking head. Okay. It's just about an inch. And I don't know if your pituitary sticks out three or four inches above your head,

but mine does. It certainly does. You said that looked at it. Yeah, they're literally claiming that shockras are just endocrine organs. Yes. They're just glands. So like, you know, like you said, like you're thymus, like you know, you're adrenals,

like these are just your Shokras. And then they don't complete that thought. No, he actually says at one point, he says, this is the most bizarre quote in the movie to me, as he's explaining where those Shokras are, he says, quote, the ov ovaries the testicles and everything in between. All right. What? Which is everything because those aren't in the same person except for a very small percentage of intersex individuals. Yeah, like what? And if they are in an intersex

individual, there's not a lot in between that. There's some connective tissue, which is technically all of it. So that's connected to your. He does the color wheel of emotions here where he's like, red needs green foods and green gets rid of anger. And I just wrote my notes, me gently trying to press an entire line into Noah's mouth and next time I fuck up our track. Noah? But does he say something really weird like,

okay, he's literally like, okay, red's a negative emotion. And if you look at red, and then you close your eyes, you see green. So by that logic, you need to eat green things and vegetables are green, coincidence. So here's what you've got to do. Drink the blood of vegetables. Yeah.

Why did he use the word blood of colored foods? It feels real racy, right? It feels racial. It does a little bit. It's yeah. I don't know. Keep it in. This is the same guy that earlier said that the side effects

of his antidepressants were murdered, right? It's like, so what's going on in Don's life? And then like, as he's just pontificating, he's like, or follow me, follow me, or if you don't want to do the opposite of red, green thing and eat vegetables because gross, all the seven spectral colors of the rainbow are in water. It's a prism. So you get all the things you need by just drinking water. So just don't eat food. Yeah. Yeah. Fast. Just drink water. Just do a fast. You can have dark chocolate or hops. You can also, I love this because this is one of those weird things where like, he obviously smokes, right? So he has commercial cigarettes as being toxic. Yes.

No, this asshole rolls his own shitty ass dank cigarettes and he's like these are organic. So it doesn't count. And he tells us he can get us off drugs with black liquor. Oh, I'd rather still smoke, but only if Jesus Christ, only if you eat it in conjunction. Oh my God. I wish we had watched this movie before Noah quit smoking just so we could have done a week of like, all right. No, no patches. Just black liquor. Black liquor. And macadamian nuts. Don patches. Just black. Black and black. Black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black

and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and

black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and black and which he means to say, genus. But then in like he, in the same breath, he's like, they're the same family. Those words are not interchangeable. Sure. Genus and a family are massive differences.

Yeah, this is also the guy who at this point explains to us that fasting means to strengthen, right? So, and then we have a Dr. Amelia comes in. Oh, she's so stupid. She says that I love how stupid she says that if you will be healthy, you have to vibrate in a high frequency, which fucking duh. And she says, and I quote, she says, we're constantly being exposed to the retro virus, which is the cold virus. I think, okay, here's the here. I thought the retro virus was bell bottoms.

But I'm Well, you know what is a retro virus HIV? Yes. Yes. Like so I think did she mean rhino virus? Should we? Okay. Yeah. That would make way more fucking sense. I'm not constantly being picked up to retro viruses. I mean to eat his own, you know, you know, you know, party the way Dr. Amelia does, okay? Live your own life, Dr. Amelia. You said, hold this lady at the orgy, she's ready to go. What am I supposed to bring my own needles to this orgy relax?

Let the bands play on. I'm Dr. Amelia. Jesus. And then somehow it gets worse with Dr. Michelle, because now we're getting into like whole cultural appropriation. Whole point up, all not just partial. Yeah, we switch over from Dr. Amelia to Michelle, who is not a doctor. Oh, you're right. Just Michelle. Sorry.

Yes, Michelle. Sorry. Yes, Michelle. Yeah. She explains her favorite technique for letting go of negative emotions from the people of the indigenous people of Hawaii is it is called the Hopono Pono. Because I love it when white people teach me about indigenous people. Yes. Oh, yes.

And look, Hawaiian say it all the time. They're like, please white people, take our deep spiritual practices and sell them to other white people as a way to get over their breakups from guys named Mike. Like this is what we need. But apparently, this is her technique of, again, her words, taking full responsibility for whatever comes into our lives. Which, okay, so it's a couple of different angles to tackle that one. First of all, no, it's not because her technique is talking to yourself rather than dealing with your shit. But secondly, like, why would we want to take responsibility for whatever comes

into our life? Like, most of the shit that comes into my life is I'm not responsible for. Right, if anything, you need like a whole Eli Pono Pono where you gotta figure out my responsibility. Both of you honestly could use a whole Eli Pono Pono where you just like, Every day of my life. You and some people in Lays kick the shit out of me in an alley somewhere.

Wait, if that's what Michelle was recommending, I'd get it. That would be very cleansing for my emotion. Right. I would really help your chewing. I would let all of those pesticides out of myself. Oh, you would, you would shit glycoil for like a month. No, I was just going to tell you. Oh.

So here's the thing about this whole thing, right, is that this is a white people-privileged cult. That's what they're doing here. Can you imagine, I'm channeling Michelle here, can you imagine a black client going to Michelle and saying, I need help. And her saying, all you've got to do is hold Pono Pono. Just take 100% responsibility for all the systemic racism that's ever brutalized. Yes, you and your life. It's your fault. Just own it. Just own it. Right. This is the entire fucking movie and the entire concept and the entire movement behind

this is just people who have never had a real fucking problem looking at people with problems going like, the fuck did you do wrong? Right. Yeah, which is hilarious because Cowboy Dawn is 39 years Yeah, looks so rough. We're gonna get to that just Real problems. Yeah, so close to that reveal. It's so much He's great. So and then we get Dr. Darren He has to show up to give more life advice to us.

He says, you know, life isn't about what happens to you. And I'm like, Oh, no, that's it. That is what it is. That's what definition that is what it is, my man. Yeah. He's like, it's what you do with all of that stuff. It's like, Oh, more privilege bullshit. Do you stop existing if you don't do things with that stuff?

No, Darren. Well, then you're wrong. Then you stop existing if you don't do things with that stuff? No, Darren. Well, then you're wrong. Then you are incorrect, Darren. And so, and by the way, Karen, this is where I wrote down essentially the same thing you wrote down because then Sonia comes up with her panacea, the oldest lady at the orgy. She comes up and she goes, well, you know, what I do is I tell my clients to take a deep breath, put your hand on your heart, focus your attention on the present and ask, what are you afraid of? Yeah, if I weren't to afraid, I would. And I literally wrote down, within what?

Like her third session sound like they take two minutes. Like if I weren't afraid, I would, okay, give me $500. And then a second later after I wrote that, she goes, it only takes two minutes. Yes, dude. That's your fear. Well, as long as you don't have any real fucking problems, yeah. And then a second later after I wrote that she goes it only takes to Here was long as you don't have any real fucking problems. Yeah Rabbit fire boom boom boom also like have these people because I can understand the people that that would be useful for right people Who are dealing with like anxieties and self-confidence issues and stuff like that, but like They know people like me Exist right like what would you do if you were not afraid is me swinging a samurai sort of

serious. They must be aware. I'm not saying they are me, but they're aware that me is out there in the world. Right. I just like, I wrote my nose. I'm like, I feel like if anything, my nature is too fearless, all of this, you need to let go of your fear shit. No, I really fucking, I should be afraid of more things. What should you be afraid of that you're currently not that so fucking, that's

my, what I need my yogi to tell me at the top of the mountain. Ah, and then, uh, Dr. Brad shows up. He has an, another anecdote he wants to share with us And it's so stupid because it starts out self-contradictory. He says, I met this woman, she'd never been in a long-term relationship. Anyway, eight years ago, she was dumped. How? And it broke her heart. Yeah, how could she be dumped if she'd never been in a long-term relationship? Like they did on the first date.

He's like, I'm dumping you. How does that work? Yeah, it seems hard for that to have been a thing, but that that's why she developed a heart wall. Right. Heart wall. And he says, like, he's like, I felt her heart. And I'm like, because he said, and you know, she's really, she was really attractive. So there's no reason why she couldn't have a long-term relationship. Oh, yeah. She wasn't fat. I know what you guys are thinking. She was probably fat, right? No, not fat anyways, back to my health. Yes. Right. Yeah. He's like, he's barely spends like a lot of time clarifying that she was hot. Yes. Just just see you guys know she was hot. Right. And then he goes like, and I felt her heart.

And I'm like, are you saying that you put your hands on this attractive clients chest? And yes, he is. He clarifies that he means he physically placed his hand between her breasts and rolled her fucking Boo Brock heart wall away. Yeah. So he uses the weirdest metaphor here. The only time I have ever heard of a stone being rolled away is the rock outside of Christ too. Right? Have you ever heard that used any other way? No. What a weird fucking image to you. You remember when our Lord emerged from and spoke to the disciples and said, now the time is not, I come back to you within a generation. That was what it was like while I was grabbing this lady's tent. So yeah, anyway, take my class for 999. He also said, he said that so he cleared her heart well.

He could feel her heart energy, aka he fondled her breasts. And then he bathed in the energy that came out of her core. Rose. Right. That's just gross. Don't be the jubwash, wash up, man. And like this whole scene is just a deeply sexist because he basically just goes on to be like so ladies clearly the biggest

problem plaguing you is not finding a man. Yes. Yeah, it's that you have a heart wall. Yeah, women come to him to find love because they've put up their, again, very disgusting victim blaming. And you're, you have, you used to have a heart butterfly, but now it's a heart, gargoyle. Now it's a heart, gargoyle. And again, we're not even making this up.

They have a graphic. He says we go back to that shot from earlier of on Wegrow, flirting with the guy at the bar. And he's like, you know, she's trying to send out a love butterfly, but her heart wall turns it into a gargoyle before it gets to him. And in case that doesn't sound stupid enough, they give you a little CGI butterfly turning into a little CGI gargoyle after going to a little CGI.

And Carol, I don't wanna air our grievances on air, but I will say sometimes I have felt like your heart butterflies are heart gargoyle. So like, I don't wanna tell another person to do the work on air, but like do the work because I would love more butterflies than Liz Gargoyles? So like, oh, I don't want to tell another person to do the work on air, but like do the work, because I would love more butterflies and less gargoyles. I'm my God, I'm gonna use,

I would love more butterflies and less gargoyles from you on my wife the next time she's like, you're an idiot and you're just trying your life. And I'd like you to sing it my funeral. That's what I'm saying. All right, you know, be lovely. I just, I just,

it's like, I want to kind of break down how sexist this scene really is. Because what happens in the background of this guy talking about releasing, you know, fun-ling women's tits and releasing their heart walls, is that the actors are meeting in an elevator. Yes. And he invites her on a date to get juice

and she gives him her number and then they don't even know each other's name so they give them their name. And the thing is all of this is like from this perspective of like this poor woman and her heart walls because she is filled with, I don't know, negative energy. Now that she's finally been able to block it, she's going to find love. Who's the love? The fucking piece of shit on We guy. He is not a prize. Right. Like this is such patriarchal bullshit. Like somehow she's

so thrilled because she got the dregs. Right. She got the fucking Silly and Murphy fucked off from wish that is this actor. Yeah. And but but then also like the idea clearly is that neither of these two can be complete without a long-term relationship, right? Like there's just no way for a human being to be complete otherwise. I guess, but again, they never talk about him. It's never about his journey. Like they kind of show it in the background, but they very much focus.

And this is just what society does. Unlike the failures of this fucking old made woman, right? Who hasn't like fixed her heart energies. So instead, let's go to a male practitioner who's going to sexually assault you so that then you figure out that you should just settle for this piece of shit guy. Like, what is this? It makes me very mad. Yeah. Also, like they're at fucking work. He's in the elevator with her and he's like trying to get her number. I think risk of being Rebecca Watson to do not now. This is not the fucking work. Yeah, don't do it. Not a good idea. Richard's going to comment on this podcast.

Yeah, I'm sure you'll be there soon. He'll be here soon. You could have bitten him and he didn't. So, but then Michelle has more techniques for us. She's not all Oppono, Oppono, guys. She's also got a Walker from Reno technique to share with us. Yeah. Right? This is where you think of a conflict that you're having with someone. And I just love this fucking accidental commentary. She gives it on her home life.

She's like, think of a conflict that you have with someone like my husband and me. My husband that piece of shit. She have conflict. I fucking hate him. She's like, what? And then she's like, and put your hand over your heart. husband and me. My husband that piece of shit. You have conflict. I fucking hate him. She's like, and put your hand over your heart and then say, my heart is full of love and understanding twice. You got to say that twice and then you're done.

Oh, well, I'm sorry. You can also do that for other people. She says, you can also do it for other people like my husband. You could put your hand over your heart and say, Greg's heart is full of love and understanding. Greg's heart is full of love and understanding. Greg's heart is full of love and then she looks at us and she's like, but not, but Greg is my husband. You would have to use your husband. Unless you're fucking him, Ashley, Ashley, if you're watching this, your heart's not full of love and understanding. So, but yeah. So then we get that method.

Generic guy shows back up to tell us that he has used emotional reprogramming to cure. This is his last multiple sclerosis, lupus, cancer, et cetera, et cetera, you know. He also like hesitates before. You can't tell if he's like, what sounds really impressive. If he's like, can I legally say the town loud? Am I going to get sued? Mm-hmm. And then we get the moment that you've all been waiting for. We're count away, Don says, Hey, look, I'm pain free and I'm 39 years old. And we all wrote in our notes, oh my God, dude, go to a doctor. He looks fucking awful for 39 years old.

So much worth, so much older than me. And I'm 37. He looks a decade and a half older than I am. And I am looking rough. I park in handicap places. They don't even look for the sticker anymore and they look at Don and they're like, holy shit. I thought it was in his like 50s or 60s. I thought he would have said 65. I would have said 60. I had a moment. Sure. This guy is a year younger than right. Yeah. I got eight years on this motherfucker. Oh my God.

He looks like he could be your grand father easily. Yes, yes. And then he goes, and then he says that he goes on third. I'm paying for him 39. I've never been to a doctor and I'm like, well, that I'll explain it clearly. He for a dentist. Yeah, right. And he goes, I've never taken medicine. And I'm like, I don a dentist. Yeah, right.

Right. He goes, I've never taken medicine. And I'm like, I don't believe you, but that would explain why you look like that. Yeah. Rough. In the background on we guy and on we lady are falling in love, right? Robert Smith shows up again to tell us that, you know, once you get rid of your negative emotions, you can just think about the stuff you want.

And suddenly it'll be there. Oh, yeah. This guy is just full secret. Like every sound bite of his is like, you want a new house, just manifest it. And you're like, cool. Thanks for the hit. I have a secret. Cara, you're amongst the Los Angeles and that where this kind of thing is commonplace.

How does that thought stay in someone's head for more than a day? Yeah, I know. Right, because I get watching the documentary, right? And being like, you know what, that's right. Mimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimim No, because it reminds me, have you guys seen the new cult documentary about the twin flames cult? Fuck yeah, I have carousel. Okay, so you know, you know, you know, you are locked to the fucking right now. Yes, we are.

So it reminds me of the same rhetoric that you see in all of these different cults, but the twin flames zone is just like the most recent cult doc I've watched. We're basically people are like, I'm trying. Like I, you told me this guy was my twin flame and I'm showing him that I care and I'm being really persistent and he's like not persistent enough. Clearly you're failing, you're doing something wrong. So then these poor women end up with restraining orders against them because they're like knocking on these men's doors in the middle of the night.

You're my twin flame and they're like, you are psycho-pastor. You're not. I do not want to date you. And so yeah, it just becomes flame, and they're like, you are psycho-packed. You know? I do not want to date you. And so yeah, it just becomes this thing where they're like, I want to manifest a new house, and then they don't get the house, so they go back to the guru, and they're like, why don't I have the house? And they're like, because you fucking failed.

You've still got energy blocks. Come back in for another session. Right, yeah. Well, the level two is $1,500. Now you need level two. That's the lesson you did. You didn't get all the way through the levels. Yeah. Okay. Okay. There we go.

So, okay. Then we finally introduced the guy that we started with, the guy who told us the anecdote at the beginning. He's Neil Donald Wallace. He's the author of Conversations with God, the only person in this movie famous enough for his own Wikipedia page. Is this also how this became a God awful movie? Because this movie has nothing to do with God, but it did have a lot of time. We do pseudo science too. We do. a god awful movie because this movie had nothing to do with God, but it did have we do to science to carry the love of those science. Well, like I will give you this. There's like a weird religious undercurrent here.

Like they talk a lot about like communing with your divine self. Yeah. Yeah. There's a fight at a certain point who just becomes its own religion, I think, too, you know. Totally. So yeah, he says, you know, 98% of people spend 98% of their time doing things that don't matter. And I'm like, telling me about it, man, I'm watching this movie.

Sometimes you start a podcast about those things and it's actually pretty fun. And then we see on We Guy by on We Lady, a a necklace Conroy comes up and he gives the the movies first piece of productive and correct advice where he says like what do we're in stuff for other people that's good and make you feel good. And I'm like, oh, an hour and nine minutes and 24 seconds in we get our first piece of good advice. One of Mr. Rogers to step into frame and right hook him. Don't steal my shit, motherfucker.

Okay. I did that. Did that for 70 years on public net, or don't take my one thing, kick your ass with these comfortable sneakers I changed into. So and then Don comes on to explain that only your body can heal itself. He says, you know, doctors could set your bones, but they can't heal them. And I'm like, well, no, they heal them by setting them. And then he's got a burn on.

Who's that? You go to the hospital with your arm twisted the opposite direction. Any other time in history, except for the last 14 seconds, you would die with a green elbow poking out of the center of your chest. And through miracles, they wrap you in plaster and fucking set your bones and fill you with pins. And then Don turns the doctor and he's like, yeah, but I'm the one who's actually growing the tendons.

God, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm, and down one, Dr. Zero. Right. And then we get generic guy comes back for a few closing thoughts.

He goes, you know, everybody secretly believes in their own greatness. And I'm like, yeah, that's the problem that leads to movies like this one, man, to people like Don, they can give advice to people, right? Do you notice that every person in this movie is white, every person. 100% white. 100% white. Look, there are pseudo science people who are people of color. This movie is so, they could not, they were like, hey, you guys know to the whole point

of a photo and they were like, we do. Sorry, I was like, yeah, no, I'm sorry. Yeah. So not only were they all white, but they were all like approximately like within 10 years of the same age. Why don't know fucking Don was 39. But everybody else was like 45 to 55. They were all well off, right?

Like there's middle upper clat. Yep. Yep. Yep. And then so okay, so then we get a bunch of shots of Lauren and Ty that's on we grow in on we guy that we finally learn their names at a certain point Lauren and Ty they're on They're swimming. They're walking in the sun. They're dancing on the beach and'm like, this is nice because those idiots aren't talking right now, right? Oh my God, it's like I'm watching a herpes medicine commercial. Yeah. Oh. Bad. Oh, painful.

It's exactly like that. Yeah. See, it feels like somebody should be reading a list of side effects along the way. Yeah. I don't let breakout stop my love life ever again. Right. And then fucking Neil comes back on the guy who wrote conversations with God. He comes back on and he tells us the same anecdote from the beginning again.

Yeah, but I wasn't listening the first time. So this is the first time. Oh, okay. So that's why he told his life to listen. He was like, fucking listen to my story. So literally, here's the quote, you have all you need says the rich white guy to the rich white people buying emotion course. Yes. Exactly. All right. And that's how the movie ends. It ends where it began as though that anecdote

we're closing fucking parentheses. Kara, thank you so much for joining us. And here's to torture in you again in another new year, huh? I don't look fun. Yeah. Aren't you excited to be back? Oh, God. But that is going to do it for a review of Emotion 2.0. But it's not going to do it for the episode just yet

because we still need to step on this rig again next week. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. A powerful biotic company has breakthrough technology, allowing them to clone history's most influential figures with just a drop of DNA. Oh no. Behind the company is a cabal of Satanist. Oh dear.

Who steal the shroud of Christ. Ha ha. Giving them possession of Jesus's DNA. The clone will serve as the ultimate offering to the devil. Archangel Michael comes to earth, stopping it nothing to end. The devil's conspiracy. Wow, amazing. Do you know what I just realized?

You hate us and you don't want to do this block, yes? Well, that's the given. I don't know. Sure, yeah, you realize that every week. She's realized that long ago like you guys do this every Week every fucking every week sometimes twice a week carol 438 times plus bonus episodes Yeah

So maybe you don't have as bad as you like making out like Don't away from your heart wall, Cara. So with more of Cara's heart, Gargoyles to look forward to in the future, I guess we can bring episode 438 to a merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to Cara for all her help today. Be sure to check the show notes for a link to her website where you can via her podcast, find out all the other cool shit she does. And perhaps even a huge,

thanks to all the Patreon donors that helped make the show go. If you'd like to catch up with them, I'm going to be there, and she can make a per episode donation to patreon.com slash god offline. They're by your own early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help a ton by leaving a five star review and by sharing the show in all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows. This gave the idea that the citation needed D&D minus the skeptic grant available wherever

podcast live. If you have questions, comments, or suggestions, you can email Godoffemoviesandgmail.com. Tim Robertson takes care of our social media. Our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slotkin with the Ville de la Giraffe son Mars. All the other music is written and performed by our audio engineer, Morgan Kirkkin. What's yours with permission?

Thanks again for giving us a check your life this week for Heathen, right? Neelya Bosnick, I'm the Illusions Promise to Work Hard to Earn Another Check Next week. Until then, we'll leave you with a breakfast club close. Here I use the emotion principles to manifest wealth and love and joy in all this cool shit, but all she ended up with was another booking on God-Awhal movies. Noah seriously considered going into the horse-de-saddening business.

The fact that Eli Bosnick was simultaneously diagnosed with all possible cancers on the day of this episode's release is a coincidence. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC copyright 2024, all rights reserved.