God Awful Movies - 461: Life Flight

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

This week, Michael Marshall joins us for an atheist review of Life Flight, the story of the birth of helicopter ambulances in America -- as that pertains to the love of Jesus. --- Check out more from Marsh on Be Reasonable and Skeptics with a K --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

We've had so many flashbacks at this point. I really wanted just one of these flashbacks to be back to a time where he had to shoot his wife in the head while she's burning at the stake. And that's because Michael Flatley has ruined flashbacks for me. If there is a flashback of that, then it's not worth having a flashback. This is a reference to a previous film, guys. Blackbird is the name of the film. It's such a weird thing for you to say without me making that clear I just want you know the occasional listener

probably needs to know why you wanted this guy to shoot his wife in the head while she was on fire I feel like out of context you say Michael Flatley and people like yeah that probably makes sense God Awful Movie Movie! Welcome back to the GAMCAST where each week we sample another selection from Christian Cinema because of all the ways we get to hang out with Marsh. This is the least expensive. I'm your host, No Illusions, and sitting 700 miles to my immediate left is my good friend Heath Enright. Heath, welcome back. Thanks, Noah. Marsh has expensive tastes. He gets into some weird expensive stuff. That's canon now.

Yep. And as we've already intimated, sitting one pond to my right is co-host of Skeptics with a K, host of Be Reasonable and perennial guest masochist, Michael Marshall. Marsh, welcome back. Oh hey guys, it is a pleasure to be here. I also like that Heath is introducing lies about me in the bit before I'm introduced when I feel like I can't even defend myself at that point. I don't exist yet until that point.

I was just, I was just talking about the expense of flying you over here. He's the one that's catching eating foie gras for breakfast. The gentleman doth protest too much. So tell us Heath, what will we be breaking down today? We watched Life Flight. It's the story of the emergency rescue workers who use Christian magic to rescue people from getting murdered by God that they worship. It's Pre-Watch.

We watched Pre-Watch. It is Pre-Watch. And Marsh. How bad was this movie? Well, if you loved Airwolf and MASH, but you love them mostly for the semi-static shots of stationary helicopters, you will love this movie. It's practically like a helicopter brochure, but sponsored by the Bible. That's essentially what this was. Right. So, I wrote this in my notes somewhere, but every time they have to show us a helicopter in this movie, you get a series of establishing shots like you're choosing your helicopter

in Forza, right? And it's not even every time they have to show us it. Just every time they show, like they need to show anything, it's a helicopter. Right. The times they did this, well, we haven't had a helicopter on screen for a little bit. Let's throw another one up there we pay Alright, so is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst app? Yeah, I'd like to go with best worst

Swishing a doodly-doo Yeah out of the metaverse into the para verse into some other verse. It's insane There's so many levels deep so quickly and they have no idea which level at any moment. At one point in this movie, Christopher Nolan walks into the middle of the screen and says, what the fuck is going on? We've never needed Eli more. I was like, Eli, God damn it. You need to watch this movie and just send us a plotting of it or something.

Like a diagram sentence. Maybe that's where Eli got it from. Because this is an old movie Maybe what Eli watched this and said, you know what's whoosh in the doodly-doo Eli started writing a sketch and he's in one of those swoosh doodly-doo verses now Maybe we'll get him out. We'll get him. We'll try to get him. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. We got to finish this review to release Christopher Nolan just slapped me in the face. I don't know what's happening So, okay, so I was I you know to release it. Christopher Nolan just slapped me in the face. I don't know what's happening.

So, okay, so I was, you know, I feel like you guys probably could have guessed mine going in, but I was going to go with best worst room noise. All right, the hiss, the ambient hiss in this movie, I like, I seriously strongly considered just recording the audio for this movie while I was away from my desk, doing a noise removal on Audacity and then syncing it back up with the video. And I honestly I

would have done that except there were ads in it so I wouldn't be able to get it all to sync up later. It's cool if you play an old record backwards it actually cancels all that and it's perfectly clear if you listen to this at the same time. Yeah no that's fair. It feel, at one point I did want to sort of look up on a map. Does Des Moines, Iowa have a giant waterfall? Because I feel like they're recording underneath it. That's the only explanation. I'm going to go with best worst scene transitions because the way that we get from one scene

to another in this film is just constantly incredibly jarring. At one point, it's like, well, we've finished the sentence at the end of that scene. So the second, the last word, the last syllable is dying on the actress's lips. We're already somewhere else. But then at one point, the director's like, no, I still feel like we're not transitioning earlier enough. That's still too late. And so he starts transitioning mid-sentence to a point that it's so confusing. I felt like I was getting side tackled through the movie from scene to scene, just personally as I was watching.

Well, you know, and the fucked up thing is that they spend so much time on the establishing shots of the helicopter and every time it's not a helicopter, you're dying for an establishing shot, right? Yes, yes. I have no idea when stuff happens, where it happens. At one point we go between like three different things that are supposed to be happening at the same time, I guess, but they're all in different periods of the day.

So it feels like we're just like tripping through days. And it's happening so quickly. I felt it was technically a strobe effect that they were doing at that point, the scene transitions. Well, and it also, it doesn't help that the moods of this movie are so like, are just downright schizophrenic, right? Like, yes, we'll go straight from sort of a wacky fucking clowny ass scene to a child shooting herself in the head with a gun, you know, like immediately. That's so good.

Not an exaggeration. It's just barely an exaggeration. Just barely. Like just fucking barely. All right. Well, I'll tell you what, we've got a lot of action to imply, so we're going to keep the break brief. And when we come back, we'll dive into all the moralizing bullshit that is life flight. This message is sponsored by Greenlight.

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to navigate life together. Sign up for Greenlight today and get your first month free when you go to Greenlight.com slash awful. That's Greenlight.com slash awful to try Greenlight for free. Greenlight.com slash awful. God, I hated that pasty so much. Kids four, man. Let it go.

You let it go. All right, fellas, welcome to the first ever Writers Room meeting for Life Flight. Hoorah! Life Flight. Now, as I'm sure you're all aware, we've got a ton of helicopter b-roll that's going to make up probably 50% of this movie. So the actual writing process should be pretty easy for us. Okay, okay.

But when you say helicopter B-roll, you do mean a helicopter flying through the air, right? Look at Dave with all the questions. Anyway, moving on. Sorry, sorry. Is that a no? Is that a no, this guy? So, okay, so in terms of inciting incident,

I'm thinking we could do sort of a nesting flashback situation I feel like you're just you're avoiding Dave's question like twice now. Well not if you keep bringing it back up I'm not Larry well is the b-roll of a flying helicopter or not yes Yes, what? Yes, the footage contains of a flying helicopter. Sorry, contains? How much of it exactly?

Like almost half. Dude, do you get fucked into buying a bunch of B-roll of a stationary vehicle again? God, this is tank attack all over again. Guys, this is quality B-roll. Of a parked helicopter? Well, only, only most of it. What the fuck are we gonna do with shots of a parked helicopter? We could use it for establishing shots. How many times could a movie possibly need to establish helicopter? You would be amazed. And we're back for the Room Hiss and literally

the first goddamn thing I wrote in my notes was oh my god at the Room Hiss. Jesus it's deafening. It was louder than the plane I took home from New Jersey. It genuinely was so much louder. Yeah. It's a lot. And we also get the name of the production company, which is Shaking at this point. Yes. Yes. All the things on screen are shaking. Found footage of a production company just wiggling around. So weird.

And just between the logo and the fact that it's shaking, it's got a very kind of like 1980s school educational film vibe. Like they've wheeled in the VCR and the big telly and you have to sort of sit cross-legged and watch this thing teach you about stuff. Oh, there is nothing quite like a cheap production logo from the 80s, man. So we get a bunch of bunch of credits, but we eventually resolve on a- So many credits. It's so long. It's like two minutes of credits. Sorry. Like the music

also thought that the people's names were way more impressive than they actually were. It's like, well, they're going to linger on this person's name here. There's no way we want to sort of go straight past the, the associate producer was Peg Coulter. And I wrote, that sounds like a euphemism for someone who's trying to solicit a dildo into their ass. It's like, they're right. Well, it's funny because like, you know, back in the days, early days of cinema, they did the credits up front and then at the end it would just be the end and then eventually

the credits moved to the back. I feel like 1987 was this weird transitional period where they did both, right? Ped-quarter doesn't do them up front, that's for sure. Well, no, no. So, but yeah, we eventually we resolve on this snowmobile and the we have this like tight shot on a tree stump that we back away from. It is the most artless opening shot in cinematic history. We're going to do some art. Cold open means snow, right? And then we'll be artistic. The extreme close up on the tree trunk for to begin with, I couldn't tell if we were watching a colonoscopy. That's how bad this shot was.

That's what it looked like it could have been. Also the resolution of this film is so low that everything that moves, when the snowmobile comes on screen, it looks like it's got a force field because only the pixels in the video aren't moving and it's in. Yeah. Hey, have any of you guys ever snowmobiled before? I have not. No.

Yeah. You have? As a kid a lot. It looks awesome. It looks so much fun. Oh, it's ton of fun. I'm in Michigan. I could do that. But then I feel I'd be a snowmobile guy at that point with like snowmobile friends.

I feel like it goes. I end up like NFTs at the end. It sucks. Right. No, it's probably not worth it. Also, you go out and find the largest lake with the thinnest layer of ice on top of it. And you would probably snowmobile over that for a good 45 seconds. Oh my fucking god.

What are you crazy? I'm an atheist, Marsh. I would never do that. This is so fucking hilarious. So the movie needs to start with a snowmobile going like crashing through the ice. But apparently the ice wasn't being kind to them that day. So they have to drive like midway across Lake Michigan before the fucking ice finally breaks. They drive so long that global warming kicks in and that's what breaks the ice. And then they fall in the cold water and they thrash around for so long.

It's like solid 20 seconds and I've got to... It's so much. So you can've got to, blah, too cold. So you can see the actors be like, did we cut now? Cause we did a lot of that. You're saying thrash more. You're saying thrash. You're doing the rolly finger thing.

All right. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's so long. Well, and the funniest thing about it too, is that for movie purposes, we can't know who this is yet, right? So they have their helmets on from their snowmobiling and don't take them off as they're thrashing around in the water. So then we get the first of many establishing shots of the Life Flight helicopter, right?

Is the Life Flight a real thing? Yes. Okay. I did not know that. To the point where people were asking me what movie I was watching this week. I was like, I genuinely can't remember the title. It's completely memorable to me. So I thought they've made this up. So you have like rescue helicopters, but they are a specific company with a specific name that hospitals have to hire in. Is that how that works? We have private emergency medical services. Yes, we do. Right. That's a real thing. I thought they made it up.

Okay. No, no, that's a real thing. That's true. My brother rode life flight when... Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got in a car accident and they had to life flight him out. So we're going to meet porn stash pilot.

This is Rob. Oh yeah, we get an establishing shot of 1987, which is Rob's popped collar and mustache that hurt my eyes. Yes. Popped collar with a blue denim shirt. Collar pops up skills most of his head. Yes. And he's wearing what looks like a white, like a woollen cricket jumper over the top of this denim shirt. It's a look. Please roll it up. Obviously it was the 80s. Oh of course. Of course. Yeah, no. Rob has never met a collar he could not pop. It's so good. And he walks in two seconds into the movie now and he's like, what's this book of Christian lessons about?

That's on the table right there I was like, okay, I love it. He picks up a book that's titled knowing god's will biblical principles of guidance and he says So what's this about? Okay, the interaction here was fun though. So he asks that to his coworker, her name's Kelly, right? Yes. And she's like, do you really want to know? And he's like, I do not know.

No, sure. No, I mean, I did want to know. So I looked this book up. It's on Amazon. It's got a five star rating on Amazon. It's got one review. Probably the author. The author is a guy called someone Blaine and lying from the author's bio, Blaine serves

as the founder and director of the Sons of Thunder, believed by many to be America's first active Christian rock band. Really? Come on. He invented Christian rock or at least active Christian rock. Yes, right. Right. What is inactive Christian rock?

Yeah, passive Christian rock. Yes, right, right. What is inactive Christian Rock? Passive Christian Rock, yeah. Okay, so this is the guy that invented Christian Rock, and you're listening to this episode, perhaps in your time machine, you've already taken care of baby Hitler and baby Pol Pot. I just, like, I don't know the first name, but it's a blaze, something Blaine, maybe worth looking at. Yeah, and it's good because you've got your time machine, you've probably got like enough juice in the engine for one more trip. Don't go back to 2003 Japan. Don't go back to ancient Greece. Do this.

Exactly. I enjoy that dynamic though. You got it like, that's fun. You know every Christian person is dying for you to ask him a question about their dumb book, the Bible, this other book. I would do this with my Christian bartender friend actually. He tried to convert me all the time, so he deserves this. I'd be like, hey, finally, why don't you tell me about the Christ Jesus? I'm actually interested now.

And he'd start to answer and I'd be like, so boring, nobody cares, every time. Got him like once a week for two years. So, and oh, we also have to establish this medal. There's a military medal that's hanging in the room that Kelly and Rob are in. And Rob's like, hey, this is significant to the plot, huh? This metal.

And she's like, sure is. And she picks it up. Is it? Yes. And I thought at this point, I've looked the book up. I'm not looking the metal up. I just stopped myself looking it up. I'm not looking the metal up.

Oh, I spent so long looking this metal up before I remembered that my phone just has a thing where you can Take a picture of something and ask it what it is and I'm like, oh yeah, no, I can just do that Yeah, that would do it. Yeah, right to be clear. It does not matter to the movie That's correct except in terms of the worst worst swooshing a doodly-doo concept that the movie is doing right? This is the inception totem for the movie to know where it is in the movie they're making. Oh, it's a spinning top. Right.

Gotcha. I just don't know. So, okay. So they get the call. There's snowmobilers through the ice. They need life flights. So they spring into action. Also, at one point they asked, they said, okay, we're coming.

We're in a helicopter. We're coming. We're going to need a rope. Yeah, fine. Makes sense. We're in a helicopter. Rope. That makes sense. And we're also going to need some men to help remove a door. Okay, what door why do you know? Are you trying to remove they will remove a door. It is insane. It's a stupid idea

Don't know how that helped. Yeah, I thought I heard it wrong. I was just like sorry. They said a man to Like a locksmith. They're gonna pick up a locksmith Right like drop the kids off at the pool kind of a thing or something Like a locksmith, they're gonna pick up a locksmith. And they're on the way to a lake. That sounds like a euphemism, right? Like drop the kids off at the pool kind of a thing or something. What are you talking about? But then as they're flying in, Kelly looks at that metal and she flashes back. Now, almost the rest of the movie will be this doodly-doo,

and it will contain several swooshes, right? Yeah, but this totem will actually keep us in it. Like, at the end I was like, oh shit, now I actually do know where they were each time. Yeah, that is fair. They kind of hold it together. Except that the totem shows up constantly and is never changed in any way. So there's that. That is true.

But I think at one point they're like, they swooshed a doodly-doo. And I think in that doodly-doo, they throw in another swoosh because we will do a flashback within the flashback in a side kind of thing that's going on. So I think they swoosh a doodly-doo and then doodly-doo a swoosh or I don't know. It's even worse than that, Marce. There's a point in this doodly-doo where she flashes back to earlier in the doodly-doo. That does happen. There's also flashbacks of flashbacks like PTSD. So they get extra confused because that word happens multiple times too.

But not hers. It's her doodly-doo and she's having other people's PTSD flashbacks within her doodly-doo. Oh my god, that's incredible. I never even noticed that. Yeah, no, she's got like a Jean Grey thing going for PTSD. It's pretty cool. Clearly, clearly, yeah. So, but I guess, so we're flashing back, and I guess we're flashing back like two weeks or a week and a half or something.

This movie really could have done with a thing here that just said eight days earlier or something like that, right, but they hadn't discovered those yet in 1987, apparently. So we're going to flashback a week and a half or so. We see her in the office, trying to get more volunteers to fly life flight with her. And I normally wouldn't bring this up, but that's going to be the plot of the movie as much as anything is the plot of the movie. Yes, that is true. So then we also, we cut to this ambulance driver

that we've never seen in an office with a lady that we don't know. Now this is CJ and Linda. They are a married couple. Linda is an administrator at the hospital and CJ drives an ambulance. And Linda is nearly identical to Kelly in every physical way.

Oh my fucking God, yes. It's very confusing. It's so hard to keep track. It took me like half the movie to realize it was definitely two different characters. Well, right, and CJ, we're gonna meet this character Michael later. Michael is just CJ with a different hair color too. Yeah, exactly. And all of this is just really not helped by the fact that the resolution of this really old film is so low

that I feel like I'm squinting anyway so that these people could be anyone at any point. But then later we'll have a reveal and it's one of the characters we've seen before and I couldn't tell until that reveal just did not land on me. Yeah. One of the things that makes it extra hard is apparently every single woman in 1987 was wearing monochrome light blue all the time or maybe pink. Yes, there was also pink. Yes, this lady at this point.

But they keep these two characters do nothing but blue for a while. Yeah, this lady is dressed as the concept of blue. Like everything about her is blue. Yeah. Right. Yeah, what was the hyperintelligent shade of the color blue from Hitchhiker's Guide? She's that. Yeah.

So yeah, and so the ambulance driver's in her office, she's talking on the phone about something. He looks out and he sees the life flight helicopter landing. And this is the first time we swoosh the doodly-doo, right? He starts flashing back to Nam as he's looking out at that helicopter. And I really wanted this to be like a really violent and traumatic flashback to Nam. Like the time he shot an indigenous boy in the face in the middle of a village or something. It's not, but I just, I thought it was, I was hoping he would be that. He's just remembering that helicopters exist is what his flashback is.

Yes, exactly. More or less. Yeah. So, but these two are a married couple, CJ and Linda, and so after she gets off the phone, they start joking around a little bit. He's like, I picked up your running shoes. So we do one of those smash cuts that made Marsha's best worst to them jogging together. Yeah, instantly. And end of the sentence, he says running shoes and she's basically in the running shoes before he can get the words out.

Right, it's like they burst through that scene like Kool-Aid man going through a wall and started jogging. Yeah. In new shoes, extra fast, yeah. And her running shoe, her running wear is also 100% blue. She's like the blue Power Ranger. Like everything she wears has to be fully blue themed. She looks like a light blue themed superhero now. She's got like a weird, flowy jogging or jogging suit.

Yeah. It's pretty crazy. I also, I feel like jogging is meant to be less conversational than what they're doing here. Right? This poor guy, he's not a runner and he's like trying to like deliver this very long dumb joke while they jog side by side. And the poor actor is so out of breath by the end of it. Yeah, he is not a convincing person. Oh, if you try to talk to me during jogging, I'm vomiting and not talking.

Sure! Yeah, that's not working out. Yes! Yeah, he's a bad runner, but he thinks he's pretty good He gets like he like races her to a bridge I'm sure he says I'll race you to the bridge The next like cut is him getting to the bridge and he's looking behind him to see where she is And then she's just on the other side of the bridge so did she like fucking teleport there or something like how is how does he not?

No, no there or something. How does he not know? It is insane. He's like, you took the shortcut, didn't you? What the fuck would that mean? If you're approaching a bridge, how would there be a shortcut to the other end of that bridge other than running the bridge? The bridge is the shortcut. That's what a bridge is for. A bridge is very much a shortcut for getting across a river. I was like, okay, we're in a non-Euclidean universe inside this doo-doo-doo swoosh, I guess. Cool. See how it goes. Well, so it's, so they couldn't see the bridge from where they were.

So it may have been that like you have to wind around a path and get to the bridge. But then he says you took the shortcut and she says, no, I didn't. So how did it happen? Did she get so far ahead of him that she was out of sight and then he forgot? Did she? Like, yeah, outside of a teleportation, there's no way that this works logistically. Oh, I think I've got it. I think at one point a helicopter flew overhead and he immediately flashback to Nam and then

she escaped during that flashback. It's the only thing that makes sense. Well, it's either that or she ran around the world in the opposite direction and wound up there. Yeah. So, okay. It's like a Pac-Man scenario maybe? Oh, there you go.

Right. That would do it. Okay. So, there you go. Right, that park has... Okay. So, all right. Then we cut to Eric getting reamed by his girlfriend for having no ambition. Who is Eric? Fuck you. Are we still in the doodly-doo?

Fuck you. Why does the girlfriend have a hair volcano? Fuck you. Yeah. I wrote here, because her line is, Eric, you're going nowhere. And I wrote, she's got a point. The car is static. But she also literally has a point because her head is a triangle. So she does have a point.

Yeah. Now, so we will never see this girl again. And Eric is such a meaningless character that I'm shocked he even gets a name. But his girlfriend breaks up with him because every time he goes out with Brian, he gets drunk. None of this matters. So we cut to him, like remembering her having done that again in Kelly's flashback, right? Yeah, but I couldn't tell if he was remembering that because again, there's the sentence that, first of all, every line she delivered was 80 yards so badly, they didn't even bother trying to like match the lips. So it seemed like she was just like transmitting those thoughts directly into his brain. And then we come to her still doing that. And I thought, is she still, has he like gone home and she's still transmitting the rest

of it really out through his brain. It's like a long time. Or that's just how bad the ATR was. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Kelly's having a flashback of this guy, Eric, having a flashback of getting roasted in a car by his girlfriend who's about to break up with him.

I think that's a pretty cool power that Kelly has. Bible Peace Theater has nothing on it. It is, especially given that she doesn't meet Eric, and anytime she could possibly be around Eric, he's in a coma, so she can't know any of this. Yeah, no, I know. Or can she? So, oh, and so then we cut to him, so he's back at home thinking about getting broke up with his girlfriend.

He gets a gun out of the drawer. We will never see this gun again. Right? There will be a gun in the movie, not this one. This gun is we're done with this one. Yeah, this was a Chekhov's gun pump fake actually. An interesting one I hadn't seen before. And it was a weird like, gonna kill myself?

Nah, like maybe this afternoon. Like a balk on the suicide. It was weird. It was a really weird moment. No idea, yeah. So then we cut to Kelly back at the office, still trying to cover a shift for that night again. We cut between that and Eric,

he's out drunk driving now to a hilarious degree. I thought he was on his fourth can because he like he throws, we look outside he's on his fourth can, but later we'll find he's had eight cans of food and has got a ninth on the go while he's driving. Yes he does. And he's one of those standard drinkers that you know when you drink eight beers, you throw the cans into a neat pile in an area, right? Yeah, it's just every time sometimes you crumple the can when you're done if you're feeling like extra like you drank it hard

But then you know you just toss aside regular you want to not do crazy But he's drank nine cans in the car. This guy is gonna need to pee so badly Maybe that's why his driving starts going erratic cuz he's like I need to pee I should have thought this through should Should only have had a couple of cans and then found a toilet. Always just pee yourself. Road safety. Heath's helpful tips. That sounds like it should be delivered by a cartoon animal. Like a safety bear.

The more you know. There you go. It's a P-S-A. Nice. So we cut back to Kelly. She's doing more paperwork. I'm so stupid. Sorry. Go ahead.

So, we cut back to Kelly. She's doing more paperwork and there's a rando that comes in. I guess this is the volunteer to fly life flight tonight. This is Michael. He's suddenly going to be a main character. Yeah. And they're talking about their mutual friend Rob, that is porn stash helicopter pilot, and how Michael just can't seem to share God's love with him.

Yeah. He's just not interested in God's will. He keeps asking me, but it's like a prank every time. And I'm like, Oh, it was being boring. Fuck. It won't work. And then she asks him about a kit car. She said, I still making the kit car. So presumably she's asked him about a kit car. She asked Rob about a kit car. Now she's asking Michael about the kit car. But I had to write, this lady's asking about kit cars. Is this the same lady? Is it the same kit car? I have no idea. And we are a decent chunk into this film. No clue. But it is the same kit car. They're making it together. She starts talking about like, oh, you know, when you're making the kit car, you want to do it the right way. You want

to get the manual. And I thought, oh, okay. She're making the kit car, you want to do it the right way. You want to get the manual and I thought, oh, okay. She's using the kit car as a subtle analogy for God. And then she says, anyway, it's a lot like God. It's a lot like God. This is okay. Well, there's, there's the... Anyway, this is not a metaphor. This is just regular talking.

Yeah. Like three different times this movie does this, right? Like it sets this up as an analogy and then it goes, this is an analogy. Yeah. So, and what's hilarious to me about this is that it's undercutting its own fucking analogy, right? Cause they're like, well, you guys were making the kit car, you're using the manual while you do that. Right. And he goes, actually, no, Rob refuses to use the manual. And she's like, it's just like the way that the Bible is a manual for life. And he's like, right, but I just said he refuses to use the manual. So this fell apart before

you said it. And the implication is like if you don't follow the instructions of a kit car it's just like being an atheist in the world where the manual instructions of life is like like we put the the wheels in a pile and just have gay sex on it that's like what we do. So then we cut back to Eric. He crashes into the river. Now there was a scene earlier where he finished a beer and he threw it in the river. So then he crashes into the river and the beer can catches up with him as if to go, ha, this is what gotcha, right? Yes.

But it does mean that he was driving on average below river speed. Seems like a very safe speed to be driving. Yeah. So, OK, so now we get the helicopter taking off within the doodly-doo, right? This is the next helicopter establishing shot that we got. Rob gets into pilot, Kelly gets in and Michael, the volunteer, gets in and he's like, Hey, can you teach me the most very basic aspects of nursing on the fly right now? Yeah. Right. Yeah. She says, like, what do we do when we get there?

I'm new. And she's like, oh, right, fuck, you're doing a follow today. I feel like maybe you just watch. Yeah, they were just sitting around talking about a kid car and Jesus, why didn't she tell him then what to do? That sounds like a great time to do the training. Yeah, if you get any tips, I get them. That's the rule.

Especially because then she wouldn't be like having to mumble the medical terms under both the sound of the router and the sound of the music that they put up way too loud. Like the sound guy and the sound of the room hiss. Yeah, we can't hear a thing. There's also this great fucking moment here. So stupid. So we listened to the EMT on the scene relaying the vital signs of Eric to her. And then we listened to her relaying the vital signs to dispatch. And then we cut to the dispatch and a doctor comes in and says, what do we got? And I was sure we were going to listen to the dispatcher tell the doctor the vitals to.

We didn't cut off before that, but I was sure we were going there. Yeah. I really, I really desperately wanted to see it as well. Or if it's just like telephone game, it's way around the entire hospital admin, every single level of the hospital. Yeah. I like on the radio when there's other emergency services that have arrived on the scene already. This helicopter with Kelly in it is a few minutes out.

Still on the radio being like, oh so yeah I mean like I just got those vital signs from you. You already saved the guy. But like, I'm the main character. Don't fully save him yet. I just need to go to the helicopter first. Well, that's the thing, because she is the main character, and this is a medical drama,

and they've just got to the scene of the crash. Which means, obviously, they're going to spring into action. They're going to do a lot of medic... Nope, nope. No, we're done. We don't get to see any of the medical care, none of the emergency care at all. And we're not going to come back to it either.

We're just going to see Eric later. He'll be in the hospital. It would've been funny if they land, she steps out. Well, fuck. OK. Fine. And just flies back away angrily. This whole thing is a medical drama without any medicine at any point. Right. Yeah. You guys be the main characters. Fuck you. So, OK. Then we cut to a random couple waking up.

We have not met this couple. They will never be named. But the wife wakes up and she's like, OK, then we cut to a random couple waking up. We have not met this couple. They will never be named. But the wife wakes up and she's like, husband, I heard something. And he's like, well, I'll shoot it with a gun then. So he gets up. Just be clear in getting up. He also apparently wakes up the electoral funk band who were also in the room. Apparently, because the second he gets out of bed, it's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. So loud. And it's like all in one boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom best circumstances for a firearm. So he goes into the kitchen and there's a fucking cat in there. The cat has knocked a pot down. You have a fucking cat. If you fucking have

a cat, you always hear a noise in the middle of the night. Is this a nightly routine where he's like, yeah, no, it was the cat again for the hundred and thirty seventh night in a row. Jesus. But is it definitely still the cat? Because like a second later, there's like a little shadowy thing and there's suddenly a girl there. I thought, is his daughter an animorph? Did you turn the cat into a daughter? No, that's exactly how they play it.

The cat jumps off the fucking counter and then we cut back to the floor that it just jumped into and it's a little girl. Just a little five year old like slowly padding a cup to the very edge of the cat. Well, but also this is like, so the guy has a cat and a five year old and his immediate response is to there's a noise in the house is to shut the run out gun first. Like fucking Joe Pesci just heard an owl and my cousin Vinny. Yeah. Jesus.

And it's great because like what's actually happened is you say the cat is not to plant pot over. So we knocked a plant pot over. So we see a plant pot on the floor in the kitchen and I really want the air ambulance to have to come in and deal with that plant pot. What's the spider's size? How much soil is left? Come on. Throw a rope down.

Right, right. So yeah, so, but he goes back to bed. He tells his wife, yeah, it turns out it was the cat for the 187th night in Rome. And he puts the gun back in his 1980s gun safe read shoebox in the closet But critically hold on he put it in the back of the shelf right now It's a back safe little kid big shelf. It's not crazy. Yeah, he doesn't unload it either, but that's fine It's exactly that's the important thing. He forgets to unload it

So okay, so then we cut to Kelly and Michael leaving work for the night. Of course, what we wrote in the notes originally was, and then some people we may or may not have seen are leaving somewhere, right? Right. This is what happens when I do the scene. Yeah.

Two white people and helicopter. That's the start. It can't be the start of every scene. That doesn't help us. That's just always, that's just always. So, but yeah, but they're leaving the hospital after a night of helicopter nursing or whatever. And this is where Kelly asks if Michael

can watch her fish for her for a few days. And this is so mad because like, we didn't get to see the crash trauma medicine scene in this medical drama, but we do get a fish request. That is an important part for the plot that we do need to talk about. Not only that, but we're get a fish request. That is an important part for the plot that we do need to talk about. Not only that, but we're going to come back to this 306 steps. Like the fish might just be the plot of the movie.

Yeah, that's true. She says, I'm moving into a new apartment. Can you look after my fish? And I'm like, what does the left side of that sentence have to do with the right side? But okay. Maybe she's moving in, but the fish aren't. Maybe it's like a sort of breakup situation. So yeah, so then we clumsily cut to Kelly at the office the next day. She's talking to a mid-level manager about funding for Life Flight again. Yes. Oh, and it's so good.

It's so good because at one point, like it feels like the stakes of this are going to be like the human resourcing of the life flight. Do we have enough people? That's the stakes of this whole fucking film. But at one point he says, well, you know, you need to take this up with Linda Reynolds. And then we get an insta-cut to Linda Reynolds there like this guy just summoned her. When he said, like, she just turns up when you say her name. Right. Well, and the other thing too is then what the fuck is the scene with you doing here, man?

Right? Because we have this scene with him and he's like, well, you have to, this is not my department, talk to Linda. And then we have the same scene with Linda. Yeah, but if we just went straight to Linda Reynolds, we wouldn't know why we were talking to Linda Reynolds. We need to establish that Linda Reynolds is the one to talk to. But I will say this is the first of two times that the movie passes the Bechdel test, right?

Fair. Oh, do they? Yeah. Linda and Kelly talk about funding the Life Flight program here. So only in retrospect, once you remember that Kelly has a name. Right. You need to have that detailed to pass the Bechdel test. It comes in.

Yeah. So then, okay. So we cut to Michael, the nurse that volunteered for Life Flight. He's checking on Eric, who was the drunk driving kid. Eric is now in a coma and will be for the remainder of the movie, but Michael will keep like talking to him and bothering him. Yes. Right? Like he keeps coming into this comatose guy's room to tell him about his efforts to

Christianize Rob. And I think, I think Michael says to Eric, uh, I think he has some like, oh, you probably don't remember me. And I thought, I don't even remember you. Who are you? I can't tell you from anybody else. Don't remember. You were unconscious. Jesus Christ.

I met you when you were in a coma. You probably don't remember. You think? You're still in that coma. Yeah. Yeah. So then we speed cut again to Michael and Rob working on their kit car. I was amazed we got to the kit car.

I thought, I can't believe neither of the guns so far have paid off, but Chekhov's kit car will come back. Right, right. No, I was just amazed that I remembered Rob's name, yeah. But yeah, so there's this great fucking scene here. I love this so much, because they're going to try to do the manual for the kit car analogy to the Bible again.

So Rob's like, so, you know, what's the timing setting for this? And he's like, well, the book says it's four degrees off a top dead center or whatever the fuck the term is. And he goes, I say we go 14 degrees and we might as well get the orchestra sting. You know what? Fuck intelligent designing. We're doing 14 degrees. Hey! Okay. Is degrees a right measure for this? I assume there's something about kick cars or engine timers that I don't understand. Would you prefer radians?

Well... I think it's on a... it's a clock dial scenario. Yeah. Ah, okay, right. I was thinking, well, degrees. That's either angle or temperature. Yeah. But after all, nothing that felt like it couldn't have been either of those things. Oh, right, because it's timing that we're talking about. Yeah. Yeah, it's time that neither was a measure of time Yeah, fuck it. We'll set the set the thing 180 degrees. We'll drive the kick car back Yeah, so the dumb atheist is like we're doing 14

I don't care and and Michael the Christian is like that seems a little silly. The instructions say what they say. And then Rob Diaz is like, I always do things my own way. And then he's like, it's so fun. He's like, wait, are you doing, are you doing like a Bible analogy again? Are you trying to get me? Right. Yeah. He's like, well, this is just like you and your silly Bible. And I'm like, really, you guys are going to fucking shit on your own analogy again. So they start talking Bible, right? They just immediately shift from the timing discussion to talking about how silly the Bible is. And Rob says, all right, this prayer thing, if God already knows what's going to happen and what I want, why do I need to pray? End of scene.

So it is end of scene, but there's a pause and I could almost hear the director going, damn it, where did I put that smash cut button? It's so good. If God knows what I'm doing, controls everything, what the fuck are we doing here? I wanted that giant pause and then credits and I would be like, that's such a good movie. Oh my god, that's amazing. Well, I guess it basically just screened what's that over there and pull the fucking ripcord? So I guess we can pause pretty quick break while the movie figures out what the fuck it's gonna do But we'll be back in a flash with even more

life flight Hey Noah Noah No, yeah, man. What's what's up? Hey. Yeah, have you seen the the good pallet Jack? What's up? Hey, yeah. Have you seen the good palette Jack? We have multiple palette Jacks. We do.

And this one here doesn't have the nice grippy hand part. I, okay. No, I have no idea, man. Ask Eli. Oh, he's gone this week. Well, I don't know what to tell you. Why do we even have one? Mostly shenanigans at the Cetacean needed studio.

shenanigans. Yeah. Okay. So I'll use the bad one without the nice grippy hand part. What do you need? Okay, there's a palette of cornstarch in the garage. I need a tablespoon for my crispy shrimp tacos that I'm making Why would you get a palette if you only need a tablespoon couldn't afford not to Noah couldn't afford not to also? Costco only has pallets of that. Okay, but if you want great recipes with exactly the right amount of ingredients, why don't you just try HelloFresh?

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HelloFresh helps reduce food waste by up to 45% compared to grocery shopping. Or like 5 million percent if you're doing pallets of everything. Lucinda and I started getting HelloFresh before they were even a sponsor and it's been great. It saves time on shopping, there's always plenty of variety, and it's been helping me eat a more heart-healthy diet. That's why I, No Illusions, personally endorse HelloFresh. Okay, but what if I'm traveling? No problem at all. Just update your delivery address and they'll send

everything right to your vacation spot. All right, I'm sold. Where do I sign up? Just go to HelloFresh.com slash awful apps for free appetizers for life. One appetizer item per box while subscription is active. That's free appetizers for life at One appetizer item per box while subscription is active. That's free appetizers for life at hellofresh.com slash awful apps. Nice. So you, you want me to help you return this pallet of cornstarch?

No. What are you, why? What are you going to do with it? Don't worry about it. Okay. You're making it weird. I'm going to take off. It's not weird. I like to make a big pile and then smush my... I'm already gone. I'm already gone. ...smush my toes in it.

My toes. Okay, now that actually sounds great. Right? Get in there. It does though. Pallet jack. So how does the manual say for ignition timing? Uh, let's see. Um, oh, it says four degrees before top dead center. Maybe if you're a sissy. I say we go 14 degrees. That's crazy,

Rob. The manual very clearly says four degrees. Manual? Shmanual. You want to spend your life doing what the book tells you? Like you do that sissy bible of yours? No. Well, um... I am a maverick. I'm a radical. I play by my own rules. We're going crazy with it. Yeah, I know you do. And look, to be honest, I think that's what's fucking up our KitKart. Oh. In what way? Well, take the tires for example. I still think we should have put them where the manual said.

It had all four on the same side, Michael. That's stupid. Well, it had all four on the bottom. Yeah. We compromised half your way, half my way. I thought that was fair. Okay. So what about the gas pedal then?

What about it? Well, it's meant to be on the driver's side, isn't it? You got to admit, giving the driver's side, isn't it? You got to admit, giving the driver all the pedals, a little greedy, right? And then this whole business about running it on chocolate milk instead of gasoline? So much less dangerous. Right, yeah, but it won't work. But I'm a maverick.

A maverick, yeah, no, I do get that. A radical, I'm a radical. Who plays by his ownick, yeah, no, I do get that. A radical, I'm a radical. Who plays by his own rules, yeah, yeah, no, I get that as well. But like, I just feel like maybe in this instance, we should just do what the book says. Okay, okay. The last time you said that about a book, I ended up selling my daughter to a rapist and owning slaves. Right. Yep, yep, okay. So Tires on the Topsill? Yeah, yep, Tires on the Topsill. So. Right. Yep. Yeah. Okay.

So tires on the top still. Yeah. Yep. Tires on top still. Nice. Awesome. And we're back for more of this shit. We're going to rejoin the jogging couple doing dishes and discussing the plot.

Some of my notes here are just, is she Linda? Is that Kelly? Is that CJ? Who's wait, which one is Michael? Jesus. Yeah. Who even is this guy? Is that Kelly? Is that CJ? Wait, which one is Michael? Jesus. Yeah. I had, who even is this guy? Is this the ambulance driver? I don't know. But I think it is. I think it is. Yes, it is. It's CJ, the ambulance driver and his wife, Linda, the hospital administrator. And they're talking about how he's got the PTSD that doesn't allow him to get on helicopters,

which is challenging because he wants to do the life flight thing. Right? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And I think he says, you know, but at some point, you know, he says, I've just got some things to work out.

And she's basically saying, Oh, you mean like your traumatic war backstory? He's like, yeah, yep, that that's what needs to be worked out. Yeah. She's like, yeah, you told me your helicopter was shot down, which is a weird thing for me to mention right now if this isn't exposition. But also she thinks there's more to the story than that. She's like, well, you told me about the helicopter being shot down, but you didn't tell me the rest of it.

I feel like that's enough. You can get PTSD from being in a helicopter that gets shot down. I am your wife, Linda. You are CJ. We look like two other people that we know. And you have PTSD. Now let's have the rest of our conversation. And for a second, I thought she was doing something good. She was like, yeah, maybe you should talk about your PTSD.

That can help. And he's like, but how? And she's like, oh, great question. Talk to God. That's what I meant. Jesus, talk to God. Not me. Not me.

Talk to the inside of your head. Yes. But this is where she carries on talking. But it's another one of those transitions where someone is talking and we change her to the scene. Because we see him walking upstairs to the attic and I thought he just like walked away from her as she's doing the god thing. Right. And she's just calling up to him. Yeah. Right. No thank you. But no, he's going to his attic to look into his big box of war memories.

Oh, his big box of war sound effects, apparently. Yeah, right. Psham, psham, psham. In the background. Babe, I found my box of sadness and some sound effects. I found a record. It's just noises of Vietnam. I should turn it off.

I'm going to turn it off. Yes. Yeah, so he's up there remembering his memories. This is where he comes across his Knights of Malta cross. That's the medal. Yeah. So, he's up there remembering his memories. This is where he comes across his Knights of Malta cross. That's the metal that I pathologically looked up while we were in the movie. And this takes him into a full blown flashback within someone else's doodly-doo. Right? Yeah.

And he's like, he's wistfully flashing back to the time he found a dead guy in Vietnam. Because he's got like the expression on his face isn't like trauma or shock or horror. It's like, oh yeah, I was a dead guy that time. Yeah. God had a plan. Yeah. Invented communism so I could murder these people and beat communism. But we lost this war. But eventually we beat communism. I don't know that yet. Cool. Good plan. Yeah. So we cut to Vietnam guys, not Northern California. This is Vietnam we're in. It's not just one of the it's not the jungley part, but.

No. And we do get to see a little bit of the Viet Cong. And it's pretty clearly just like three Asian American actors feeling super uncomfortable how problematic this is going to be. Yeah. Obviously Filipino. Sacramento, Vietnam. Yeah. So yeah, but we see a helicopter and some airplanes. The helicopter shows up to get an injured guy, right? There's explosions everywhere, but little ones. They didn't have a big budget. And then as the helicopter is taking off, it gets shot like the Filipino Viet Cong,

shoot it down, trust us, it explodes. It's a big fire. It's behind that hill somewhere. Yeah, because no way does this movie have helicopter crash money. This movie barely has helicopter landing. Yeah, right, right. Yeah, exactly. Mostly it has helicopter landed money. Yeah. So. Oh, do we get the very important sort of tagline-y part of the movie here too? Where it was like, get rescu- You know, like the rescue's about to happen and he has to yell to somebody

or somebody has to yell to him like, run to the chopper now to get rescued. Yeah. Uh-huh. And then I think the exact phrasing is go for it. And that's going to come back as a like a lesson about. Oh, my God. Oh, is that why two people who are not in any way involved in this flashback say that later? Yes. OK. It was amazing when it came back.

I was like, wow, none of them were there. No, this is where they also in his swoosh doodly do flashback. Yeah, I didn't even pick up on that. Neither that was coming back. Were they also in his swoosh doodly-doo flashback? I didn't even pick up on that was coming back. Jesus. When you said the tagline of the movie, I'm like, where is he going with this? Yes, that is right. Right.

Well done. I was desperately trying to guess and I was like, I'm going to guess that quietly to myself until I know where this is going. Yeah. This movie is very well written. You guys should take back a lot of things you've said. Right. Yeah, exactly. exactly. So yeah, so but then we back out of the flashback,

not the doodly-doo, just the flashback, to Linda and CJ laying in bed, and he's like, yeah, and then the helicopter crashed and exploded. It looked really cool and high budget when it happened. You weren't there. It was pretty odd. I'm back in the room with you now. I had been yelling this whole time from upstairs.

Now we're back. Yeah, right, right, exactly. He was back in the room with you now. I had been yelling this whole time from upstairs. Now we're back. Yeah, right. Right. Exactly. He was in a different room. Thank you. It's funny as well because he even tells her that he doesn't remember the helicopter landing. It's like, because even he, even this movie knows it can't even pretend that helicopters do land due to the cause of this movie.

He has to kind of like, he wasn't even there for it. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, but he just can't bring himself to get back into a chopper after that. So then we cut to Kelly dropping her fish off with Rob. Thank God. I was worried what was, what was going to happen with the fish sitting? God damn it. Get to the plot. Oh my God. We see her take him through the entire set of instructions on how to care for these fish. It takes so long. This is apparently an important part of this film

is the, is that we understand that this film could actually double as an educational film for fish maintenance. At this point, the amount of detail we get. Yeah. So yeah, so we listened to that and then we cut to remember trigger happy who was going to shoot his cat and his daughter because they made noise at night. We cut back to his place and his little girl has got a broom and she's like, I wonder what's in that Nike box at the back of the top shelf of the closet. This is 1987.

She really wanted that that early Jordan pair that was made. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Now look, I of course a shoe box is an unacceptable place for a loaded gun, especially if you have kids in your house. But as determined as this kid is to get it, I feel like she'd have cracked his gun safe if he had one. She'd have been in a little fucking stethoscope or something like that. Yeah. This was going to happen.

Oh yeah. She's ready to do a full Ocean's Eleven style heist in order to get to this gun. Okay. But to be clear, these people are unrelated to any of the main characters. It's just like another little vignette that's got like, I thought genuinely a helicopter was going to like smash through the roof and like pull the kid away from the gun or something. I don't know. She'd fall through the ice in the bedroom and like go into the basement.

I don't know. Something weird was going to happen with emergency services, but no. No. And she does get the gun because she takes the gun out and then she's like spinning the barrel. She's immediately doing Russian roulette. Yeah, this kid has played russian roulette before I really wanted us to flash to her nam flashback next So then we we cut uh, we cut to rob and and Michael, the friends that are putting together the kit car. They're

chatting about Kelly's fish. How are you and Kelly's fish getting along is the question. How do you get along badly with a fish? Yeah, no, the fish thinks I'm a total asshole. It's awkward. It's so uncomfortable in that room. Oh my God. Yeah. So, yeah, but Rob, he's not taking the fish very seriously at all. And so Michael's like, hey, I got to run out to the car to grab something. So they're working on the kit car.

There's this Christian music playing in the background that I didn't realize was supposed to be diegetic. Right? Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. But that ends and apparently like this atheist Rob was just listening to some fucking worship music on the radio Yeah, he's listened to religious propaganda FM aka all American radio

In New Jersey, yeah, but the song ends and the radio comes on the guy starts evangelizing and Rob turns it off He's like, oh fuck this guy Michael comes back and he's like, why did you turn that off? And Rob's like cuz your religion sucks and I hate it.. He's like, oh, fuck this guy. Michael comes back and he's like, why did you turn that off? And Rob's like, because your religion sucks and I hate it. Yeah. I fucking hate it. Either they're telling me I'm going to hell or they just want all my money. It's like, no, it can be both. It doesn't have to be an either there. It can be both. And then he follows up, Rob said, he follows it with, and you know what really bothers me?

And I thought, is it all the child fucking? It should probably be all the child fucking. Not all the child fucking. Yeah, it's not. He's like, how do they, what really bothers me is how do they know that they're right? And Michael's like, well, it says so in the Bible. And because this is a Christian movie, Rob doesn't point out that the Bible says the Bible is correct, isn't a valid argument, right? He's like, hmm, yeah, no, that's a good point. It does say so in the Bible. And then he starts, he says, well, is this being born again stuff in the Bible? And he says, sure, it's in um, um, and this is when Michael realizes that, yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. Michael realizes maybe he hasn't read the Bible enough. Maybe it's time for him to hit the books again.

Acts. He gives a chapter and verse. He does cite a chapter and verse and then Rob is like, is it though? He's like, no. No. Yeah, right. Right. Yeah.

He's like, it's in Matthew and he goes, is it? He goes, isn't John? Hey man, have you read the Bible? And he's like, fuck. No. Can we cut? My character keeps losing. Why smash cut?

Smash cut. God damn it. And Michael's character continues to lose the movie to himself for the rest of the movie. It's the greatest. What's so fun about this movie is that the movie doesn't know that Michael is a pathetic loser. That's why I love this movie. It gets so much worse. First, we got to cut to him in his sweet trans am pulling up at the life flight center. God, okay another failure.

He parks so fucking badly. He pulls 8% into a spot. It's not even parallel parking. It's just like a parking lot parking. It's angled parking, yeah. Right, no and it's angled. It's the easiest possible parking and he parks like a fucking jackass.

Yes, thank you. Yeah, ridiculous. I had to stop for a second. I was furious. And then he gets out of the car and he parks like a fucking jackass. Yes, thank you. Yeah, ridiculous. I had to stop for a second. I was furious. And then he gets out of the car and he's like, hey, Kelly, he sees her a few cars over. Hey, Kelly, Kelly. And he walks up to her and he's like, how's your subplot doing? Yes. How's it going with that thing you're doing? That's just what I've wrote about Michael is, he just seems to in every scene, ask other

characters the most perfunctory and straightforward and obvious questions imaginable. Is it, oh, how's the kicker? How's the fish? This time it's like, how's it going with that thing that you're doing? So it's a classic Michael move for this film thing to do that. Yeah. Yeah. And she's like bad and starts to say, and then he's like, so anyway, in my subplot,

I wanted to tell you about that. I can't get Rob to stop being an atheist. I'm trying really hard. And then Kelly gives what I thought was going to be good advice for a second. She's like, well, maybe you were being like a pushy asshole. Maybe stop being a pushy asshole. And then there's a pause and she's like, ah, no, just kidding. Just kidding.

See if God has any advice about how to be a pushy asshole the right way, the perfect way. Yeah, right. He goes, well, you know, Rob sure is asking tough questions. She's like, well, at least he's asking questions. I so wanted his questions to be, what the fuck are you talking about? But this is tough questions. They weren't tough questions.

The questions were literally, where in your book does it say the term born again? I've got nothing. I've got nothing here. Right. So then we get possibly my favorite scene in the whole fucking movie. So Michael goes in to check on Eric again and he's talking to the unconscious guy. He's pouring his heart out about trying to evangelize to Rob. And what we're getting here is that scene from Moon Night, where he's like pouring his heart out to the living statue, except that the movie doesn't realize Michael is a sad fucking loser. Right? He's no one to talk to in his life, so he has to go bother this fucking unconscious coma toast guy all the

time. Yeah. And I really wanted the start of his conversation with the guy in a coma being like, to be something like, hey, how's the coma working out for you? How is your coma going? And I wanted it to end with like, hey, shut the fuck up. You're ruining my coma. Stop talking about Christianity. Oh God, can you imagine being in a coma around this asshole? Yeah. So yeah, he says, and I quote, Rob has a lot of needs in his life that he doesn't even know about. And I'm like, you want to fuck Rob, though, right? That's what this is about.

They seemed like a gay couple when the kit car thing was getting introduced early on, and they like it seemed like a fun gay couple. One has a mustache, popped collars. He says to the comatose kid, did you ever have a friend you really loved and you just wanted everyone to meet him? He's talking about Jesus at this moment. If this movie was more self-aware, this scene would end with Michael hanging himself in the bathroom. Oh, a hundred percent. And it could not sound more like he does not care for his

earth friends. But you know when you've got a friend that you really love? I want my other friends to meet that one friend that I really love. Yeah. So, okay. So, but then Michael shows up to bother Rob about Jesus at work, right? And the scene, it opens as though Michael's trying to work up the guts to ask him out, right? He's like, so you know, if you've had your dicks sucked, you probably know how to suck your dicks better. But he has, he's like talking religion and Rob hits him again with the, okay, so what's

the point of praying to an all-knowing God question, right? This movie is going to take a second swing at this. Yeah. Michael starts out, he goes, did you ever have an erector set as a kid? Yes. They are. Yeah. And the answer is like, yes, sometimes in the morning when I really needed to pee, but

I even go away after. He goes, he's like, yeah, I had an erector set. He says, did you ever have trouble putting something together? And Rob swerves. I love this. He goes, no, never. I was always perfect. Michael, this is scripted. This was not an ad lib.

He's just like, no. And then Michael has to be like, are you sure? You don't have a different answer to the question I asked that lets the rest of the dialogue, including this that we all wrote and agreed to do go on. Yes. Yeah. He goes, he goes, okay, well, I guess sometimes I had trouble and I would just have to ask my dad.

He's like, you'd have to ask your dad. Right. And I'm like, but his dad isn't all knowing that's irrelevant. Yeah. And his dad was also there. He could reach out and see and touch him. Yeah. My dad didn't go away for cigarettes 2000 years ago. So, but yeah, but what they're trying to say here is, well, you know, God knows and God can help you

and he knows what you need, but he's waiting for you to ask so that you can learn how to do things on your own. But that ignores the fact that he would also know how long it's going to take for you to ask and whether or not you're going to learn to do it on your own, right? Yeah. That's part of being all knowing, guys. But yeah, and then he's like, well, can you tell me where it says that in your Bible? And Michael's like, God damn it, man, come on, I just had to look up a thing for you. And again, the movie's trying to say, well, you know, make sure you've got your Bible

memorized because otherwise you won't be able to evangelize. But the way this plays is like Rob figured out that was a good way to shut him up, right? If you say, where's that in the Bible? Then he doesn't talk about Jesus for two days while he's looking that shit up. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. So, so far I'm loving Rob. So then we cut to CJ and he's looking at this tiny little helicopter. Yeah. And that's the thing. This movie is so varied because like sometimes the stabbing

shots are of a slightly smaller helicopter. So there's range. There is range. Three different helicopters that we get establishing shots of. And so apparently this is a tour helicopter, right? And CJ is like standing there trying to work up the guts to get back in a helicopter again. Yeah. And he takes out his cross metal for a second, right? And looks at it.

Which he just carries around with him. Yeah. Which is important. Spins it, makes sure it falls down at a certain point. He's still in the doodly-doo. And then at one point, there's like half a second of a flashback to him flying again, and then it goes away again. And then we watch him like strain to get it,

like to get the flashback back. Like he lost a sneeze and he needs to learn the lesson. Yes. Of his flashback, but he can't get it, like to get the flashback back. Like he lost a sneeze and he needs to learn the lesson. Yes. But he can't get it. The movie won't give it to him. And it's so good, cause like, I really, we've had so many flashbacks at this point. I really wanted just one of these flashbacks

to be back to a time where he had to shoot his wife in the head while she's burning at the stake. And that's cause Michael Flatley has ruined flashbacks. Right, yeah. If there is a flashback of that, then it's not worth having a flashback. This is a reference to a previous film, guys. Blackbird is the name of the film.

That I may have watched twice while we were together. Yes, yeah, exactly. We watched twice in the last weekend. I've ever seen. So good. Amazing. It's such a weird thing for you to say without me making that clear. I just wanted to, you know, the occasional listener probably needs to know why you wanted

this guy to shoot his wife in the head while she was on fire. So okay. So CJ gets home. I feel like out of context, you just say Michael Flatley and people are like, yeah, that probably makes sense. Yeah, okay. Yeah, right. So, but CJ goes home and there's this weird, I have no idea what's going on.

Like, he's dropping things left and right as though he's got a poltergeist as he walks up, right? He goes to hang up his jacket and it falls. And at first we're all just like, oh, this stupid fucking movie just didn't do another take. But then he knocks over the mail and he opens the fridge and the ketchup falls out and breaks. Yeah. And at no point does anybody like try and pick those up. And I wrote, is this Eli's house or something? Yeah, right? So yeah. So he, and then he just starts reading the fucking paper Linda gets home his wife and she sees the fucking Tasmanian devil trail of destruction that he's left in his wake and she's like what the fuck man? Hey honey you you doing infomercials again and not cleaning up at

all after each thing you dropped crazily? He's like, I'm not in the mood. Does there have to be a better way? And this, okay, this was crazy to me. She's like, oh, you're not in the mood? Okay. Okay. You're not going to clean up the mess. How about this pillow fight for cleaning up the mess?

Whoever wins the pillow fight doesn't have to clean up the mess. And I was like, no, no, no. He just made the mess. Yeah, right. Why would you give him an out? Stakes to a game now where he might win, no. Right. But then honestly though,

as badly as she destroys his ass in this pillow fight, like maybe that's just like, you know, like me challenging my wife to arm wrestling to see who has to clean it up or something like that. You know? Ah, that's fair. Cause like they chase all around the house. The music thinks it's become like a 1960s exploitation of sex comedy. Which in fairness, it's not far off. At one point,

she runs downstairs and she's picking up pillows and things and she's arranging them and she's getting into a good hiding place. And he was just chasing her a second ago. It takes him so long to follow her downstairs that I just hoped he was having yet another flashback to stalking the Viet Cong through the jungles of Nam. And that's why I was taking him so long. Okay. I wanted her to win the pillow fight so hard. That would have been perfect. She jumps out. She's dressed like Viet Cong.

Pummeled in with a bunch of pillows. Well, but this is the second indication that we've gotten in this movie that she is secretly night crawler. She can't teleport. She just teleported way ahead of him. So, okay. So then we cut to Michael bothering. crawler she can't teleport she just teleported way ahead of them so okay so then we cut to Michael bothering hold on I have a question about the end of this pillow fight before oh yeah yeah she gets him at some point like through the

window I think she like through the window to hit some great shot is that is that a win of a bill what is the win condition of a pillow fight I don't even know what I right like I think you have to knock them unconscious, right? Either you knock them unconscious or you break your pillow on them. I think that's... Oh, so like MMA. It's like tap out or TKO or something. Yes, exactly.

Exactly. Okay. Right. Right. All right. Good answer. In my head, I'm just thinking like a sex thing happens and then somebody... You both win the pillow fight, maybe? Maybe you always you think that about every game. So that's why we love playing

Pajama party was a lot of fun for everybody Yeah, I was I propose nothing. So, okay so we cut to Michael bothering coma Eric some more and He's telling Eric about earlier in the movie, he starts fucking flashing back to him. Again, we're in her doodly-doo. Now this guy is talking to Eric and flashing back to him studying the Bible as he does. Yes. Fucking nuts.

Like studying like two Bibles at once, like he's Rick Wickman playing keyboard. Yes. It's much quicker if I do that. He's reading one Bible with his left eye. Goodwill hunting math Bible stuff. Different Bible with his right eye. Flying around. Yeah.

So, and then we cut to Rob. He's at home. He checks on Kelly's fish and damn it if two of them aren't dead. And like these fish, these fucking fish, I wrote in my notes, the only way these fish are going to tie into this movie is If the little girl with the gun shoots one of them So yeah, so he's like oh fuck the fish have died I know what to do I'll put him on a low broil in saltwater and they'll come back to life. Okay

His mom apparently used to do that. Is that a thing? I don't hot saltwater healing a fish that's not in salt water? It can't possibly be true. He's basically trying to brine these fish. Yes! That is not going to save them. Right, because it seemed to me... It might preserve them for a while. Yeah, right, right. Exactly. I'm like, dude, also those fish are dead, right?

Unless you've got a fucking Frankenstein machine upstairs, you're fucked. But yeah. Fuck, it's not working. What would dad do? I'm going to rub some dirt in the fish. See how that goes. Yeah, there you go. What? So he does this and then he gets a phone call and he goes to turn the burner off when he

accidentally turns it to high. And then we have this moment where he's trying to get off the phone while her fish boil to death. While the music queue thinks this is absolutely hilarious. Yes! And at one point, he sees their dead and goes, wah, wah. Yeah, there's a yakety-shmackety-doo the whole fucking time. Yeah. So, okay. So, and then we cut straight from that yakety-shmackety-doo

to a little girl staring down the barrel of a fucking handgun. It is such a mood transition. It is so rough. Oh, I love it. I absolutely love it. So has this kid just been carrying a gun around the household as well? Yeah, just doing holster tricks with it, spinning it on her finger or whatever. And also, this is the first time that I've pointed this out, but the writer and director

of this movie is Donald W. Thompson. He's the same guy that did the thief in the night trilogy or quadrilogy, I guess, eventually. So I wrote my notes at this point. By the way, if you think that this writer director won't have this kid shoot herself in the face on camera, that's because you don't know the work of Donald W. Thompson. I was certain the whole time, every time she pulled out that gun, I'm like, he he's gonna make me watch this kid shoot herself in the face is he's not but like no we get close Well, especially cuz like at this point she picks up her doll and that doll doesn't have a head and I'm like what kind of ominous Shit are we setting up here? Also, she puts the good in the toy box and then calls the mom in and say has she baited the toy box?

So the mum will get shot I think that's what they were doing. She's laid a trap. I think they were like giving us tension because that might happen. Yeah, right. But it felt deliberate. It didn't feel like tension like, oh, this kid doesn't know what she's doing. It felt like this kid was laying a trap.

Like she's a serial killer in waiting. Well, we're going to get, we'll get back to that at the end of this scene. Yeah. So, okay. So now we cut to CJ tries to take the helicopter ride. He gets like eight feet up and he's like, no, that's not for me for the helicoptering. Sorry. Yeah. I feel like you don't go straight to that. You do a little CBT maybe or something straight to flying. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Also, it feels like that isn't one of those you

have to face your fears kind of deals. Like, you just not be in a helicopter. I'm frequently not in a helicopter and I'm flying. I don't have to face my fear of it. Like, you can just not be in helicopters. I'm frequently not in a helicopter, and I'm fine. I don't have to face my fear of it. And let's point out here that this character was never a helicopter pilot, right? He was riding in a helicopter. This is his fear of riding in a helicopter. So, if you were a helicopter pilot, you had a lot invested in that ability. This might matter more, but no. Yeah. And he's just like, okay, matter more, but no. Yeah.

And he's just like, okay, I had another flashback. Take us, take us back down. This is a bad idea and cancel. I, I hired the extra guy to do the therapeutic dog fight with us. Cancel that guy to radio him. We don't want to do this. Back down. So then we cut to Rob. He's watching a televangelist.

So maybe Michael is getting through to him after all. We see Michael studying and now four different Bibles, I think it is. And then we cut back to Gun Baby. It's late that night. She wakes up, middle of the night. She looks in her toy box. She says, do I want my terrifying clown doll? Nah, I'll take my six shooter instead.

I would rather my child had that loaded gun than that doll. Like that loaded gun is going to do a lot less psychological damage to her, no matter what she does with it, than that clown possibly could. Yeah. So she sits down for another game of Russian roulette and she calls to her mom that she wants to drink a water. Now the movie is setting up an accident, right? There's going to be an accident here, But the way that this plays for throughout from here to the credits is that this little

girl was ambushing her mom and this was the plan all along. Yeah. It feels like she's trying to lure the mom into the room so she can stand her ground. That's what it feels like is happening. Yes. We even see her like checking the sites and shit. Yeah. The kid wants time to do that. It's like they're building the tension.

Mom's pouring water very, very slowly in the kitchen. All the kids like spinning the thing, doing the sight stuff in the other room. And so mom's pouring and there's a blender on the counter. I thought she was going to blend the water to build the. So, you know, she finally goes in and gunshot. Yes. Bam. Dead mom. Yeah. We don't see anything except for we just hear a gunshot. And then we cut to an ambulance kicking into high gear, revving up the lights and sirens, right? They'll need a helicopter

stat or actually eventually because it's foggy today. So. And also they don't need a helicopter. There's literally an ambulance right there. That ambulance should just take her to the hospital and then the hospital will deal with it. It doesn't feel like you get an ambulance first and then ambulance takes you to a helicopter that will take you. Is that how it works?

Like an oil rig out in the ocean or something. You're fine. Yeah, just get an ambulance. They're in like the burbs. Well, no. So the reason that they use life flight helicopters is because you can get to a hospital way the fuck quicker if you don't have to drive, right? If a helicopter can go 120 miles an hour in a straight line.

Okay. But this mom deserves to get, you know, dead for having that gun. Like this is bad parenting. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So yeah, but the weather's too bad for the helicopter to go out.

So they're in the ambulance and then the ambulance breaks down. Oh my God. I could not stop laughing. They show us that the ambulance needs an oil change. I could not stop laughing. I feel like they're meant to maintain those things just in case. So you do it a bit of extra maintenance on an ambulance than you would just your regular car because no one dies if your car breaks down. Right. Right. Well, it depends on when. But yes. Yeah. So they pull over there like we're going to need the spare ambulance. So they send out a second ambulance. They trade her off like a fucking relay race.

And then they're like, you know what we need is a third ambulance. It's so good. There's now a third ambulance and a helicopter on the way to a broken down ambulance and a working ambulance. I could not stop laughing. I don't, it's like, if they get in one more vehicle,

they go to Barbie land at the end. It's like, what the fuck is happening? So, and now this third ambulance, that's the one that CJ drives, right? So they all get to this parking lot. The fog lifts, trust us, it's very dramatic. It's the last second fog lifting, edge of your seat shit. But the fog lifts so they can send the helicopter out.

So they all meet in this parking lot. And as they load the shot mom on, Kelly turns to CJ and she says, I need you to fly with me, CJ, guy who's terrified of helicopters. But like, there are fucking three ambulances worth of EMTs. All of them, except CJ, aren't mortified of helicopters. It's really fucked up that she asks him to do it. We've also got some paramedics in a broken down ambulance, so they are useless there.

Right! Yes! They could probably do with a lift. This isn't work out well for everyone involved. Yeah. Yeah, but he's gonna do it mostly off camera, right? Because we cut immediately from him going like, yeah, to the helicopter landing. Yeah, well he does all the like old cop movie tropes of like, they pull me back in, I'm too old for this shit. I swore I'd never fly again. Yeah, exactly. And he gets in the helicopter.

I wanted like, I wanted there to be an Asian American EMT in the chopper and he panics. He jumps out. So yeah, we get to the hospital, right? We see him landing and they're taking the patient out and I wanted to cut back into CJ just hyperventilating on the floor of the helicopter. But no, he's fine. No, we just cut to it all being over. Like, oh, we've got to the hospital, then it's all done.

Like, everything, the only possible events of interest in this entire movie consistently happen off camera. Yes. Like, everything, we just see the haulage logistics that happen around the interesting stuff. Absolutely right. Like, to the point where this is so sloppily done that we have to cut immediately to a new scene where Linda, it's the end of the day, and Linda is congratulating CJ. She goes, you did it. Yeah, because we wouldn't know otherwise right

because that's the only way we as the audience know that it got did yes she goes I'm Kelly by the way not Linda not your wife you're CJ you did it though and she's also like hey that was a super cool mysterious way from God right having that lady get shot so you could yes become a pilot again like the movie actually says that. This isn't me joking. Yeah. That's a point they're making here. The woman got shot just so this guy could get over his phobia of a thing that he

otherwise would never again encounter because I've never encountered it. Yeah. Right. Well, so and the lady, like she tries to have her cake and eat it too, right? She's like, it's really cool how God worked that out. I mean, God obviously didn't have that lady shot just so that you could overcome your fears, but, and then like, but what? And they're like, smash, smash, cut, but, but smash. Wink. Yeah. But we should have more gun control

because I know that's not the answer, according to this movie. Right, right. All right. Well, the movie assures us that that was very dramatic and act breakworthy. So we're going to pause there. But first, let me give act three the hard sell. Will CJ overcome his fear of. Oh, shit. No, never mind. We already pulled the trigger on that one. Will the little girl with the gun. Well, fuck, we literally pulled the trigger on that one. Yes. Will Robb discover God's.

Well, fuck, he was watching a televangelist last time we saw. I don't know if I can stick around anyway, I guess, for the yeah, but something has to happen. Conclusion of Life Flight. Just be really invested in those fish. That's all we're warning, Rita. Listen, you've got to be really invested in those fish. Cliffhangers. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp,

and that's why I'm doing the upside down flag. What? That's why I'm doing the upside down flag. No, I heard you. I'm just curious why you started talking mid thought. Like you were in a cold open or something. Did I not say the beginning of that thought? You did not, no. No way. Just skipped it. Weird. So yeah,

I'm furious about the upcoming election. Every time I go on social media, people who are supposed to be on the good team are talking about how they're not going to vote because they're not excited enough about Joe Biden or the Democrats in general or something like that. So I'm thinking, I'll just be a Republican now. I'm going to say to that white guy, no uterus, I'll be fine. I'm thinking we just burn it all down and elect Trump, you know, accelerationism. Now, so that's a terrible idea. It's just wildly unethical. Have you considered trying better help? Yeah, that is wildly unethical to do anything with accelerationism. What's

better help? It's a great place to find a therapist online and it sounds like that might be good for you. Therapy is not just for major trauma. It's helpful for learning positive coping skills and learning how to set healthy boundaries. So considering the social internet is where intelligent discourse goes to die, you might want to set a boundary that limits your exposure to that. And you might want to cope with your frustration in a way that's healthier than becoming a

Republican. For example, pretty much all the other ways. Maybe set some achievable goals for the next several months about helping some good candidates win their election in November. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. How do I sign up? Well, if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try.

It's entirely online and it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Take a moment, visit betterhelp.com slash awful today and get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash awful. All right. Sounds good. But I'm thinking of leaving the flag up. Maybe the Alitos will think we're in distress and I'll stop by to help.

And that's what we'll do once they come inside. Sorry what? No it's a cold close. Got it. Smart. Hey God, you wanted to see me? Gabriel, yeah come on in. So I'm trying to get a better health care system going in America. Oh finally. So you want me to set up socialized medicine? What? No, no. Every time that. No. I'm going to make a retired helicopter pilot in Iowa get back in the game. Okay, so just one little piece of the healthcare system. Yeah, I'm doing attainable goals, you know, tiny changes, remarkable results. Okay, did you read Atomic Habits, the self-help book?

No, no. Okay, I feel like you did. Nope, did not, don't know what that is. Well, you just said the subtitle, tiny changes, remarkable results. It doesn't matter why, we're doing the one thing that I said just now in Iowa. In Iowa, okay, fine.

So who's the pilot? Yeah, okay, so it's this guy named CJ at a hospital in Des Moines, Iowa. Okay. So you remember how I did the Cold War? I do remember that you made me do it actually. Right. Yeah. And it led to Vietnam. Yeah, I was teaching an atheist guy in Cambodia a lesson. Pol Pot.

There's a reason for that. Yeah. No, I know. It went very badly. Christians use that during debates. Yep Yep, atheism inspired genocide man nailed it. So what am I doing with this pilot then? Well, yeah He's got PTSD from Vietnam. I did I did not see that coming unintended consequence of that thing I did so he's afraid to fly again. I need an emergency That's gonna make him jump back into action in Iowa. Okay.

How about like a stranded boat on a lake? Right, we do a little storm? I was thinking a little girl gets shot with a gun by her mom. Dude, what? That's insane. Okay, fine, fine. The kid shoots the mom with a gun.

Oh, he said that is not the point I was making. I feel like we don't need a gun at all. The kid shoots the mom with a gun. Oh, he said that is not the point I was making. I feel like we don't need a gun at all. The kid shoots the mom. I already wrote it down on my vision pad. We're doing that. You totally read that book. You did. You read it. Go make a little girl shoot her mom in the face.

Yeah, got it. I'm God. I know. And we're back for still more of this shit and we're going to rejoin the action at Rob's Place where he's realizing that he's forgotten to feed Kelly's fish for apparently days on end because they've died of starvation. He boiled two and now he killed two more by starving them. Yeah. This is a fucking horror movie if you like fish. Right?

Oh, 100%. Typical atheist, never feeding the fish. That's a universal law. Feed them. And he's like, I'm a rogue. This is what happens. Yeah, I'm always doing it my own way. Also this, not only did we have the standard room here to deal with, we also had the fucking

seriously loud pump on the fish tank. And the combination too was so loud, it scared my cat Mildred and she left the room. When the scene came on, she's like, no, fuck that and she left. So yeah, so then we cut to the break room at work. CJ is telling Kelly that God really wants him to work with life, light. God, these people are insufferable. But Kelly, this is such a weird, cause this is just like they're cold open, right? Kelly just goes like, but do you ever wonder if

God really is concerned about our problems? And then Rob sits down and changes the conversation and I'm like, Holy shit, Kelly was going to lose her faith if Rob hadn't sat down just now. Rob, go back out. Let this happen. Let this happen. Yeah, right, right. Yeah, exactly. See how this goes. A lot of fuck stuff that Kelly's missing out on is all I. Let this happen. Yeah, right, right. Exactly. See how this goes. A lot of fuck stuff that Kelly's missing out on is all I'm saying. Yeah. So, but then they chat about fucking the office politics subplot more about whether they can

afford for there to be three people on the life flight helicopter instead of two. Right. It's so boring. It is so boring. Yeah, but this is where CJ introduces the medal to the... Well, I guess not introduces, but he introduces it to these characters, right? In the doodle-y-doo. And Rob identifies it on the side. He's immediately, he's like, oh yeah, Maltese Cross. Yeah, always wanted one of them. He said he's been trying to get his hands on a medal like that for years.

Yeah. Why? Doesn't he have to go and like do something heroic in battle to get, or does he mean he's trying to like acquire one from someone else? In Malta, yeah. I don't know. Do you have any fun facts about the Maltese Cross? I do. Who said that?

Yes, I do have fun facts. And he lists off it's like an 11th century medal for like the first medics in war or something like that, right? So it's supposed to be significant to him too. Yeah, it's based on that. Yeah. Yeah, and what I love so much about this is like, fucking CJ is like,

let me show you guys my most prized possession. And Rob's like, oh, I have fun facts. I'll give you 106 bucks for it, right? It's so good. He does. Want, want. And he's like, I'm a Vietnam, what? No, I'm not selling that to you.

But I will tell you a story. And then CJ is like, I was an atheist once, but then something happened in Vietnam. Diddley-doo. Diddley-doo. Right, yeah. So something happened in the second half of my Vietnam flashback. What Nam would be like. Nam would be like.

Yeah. And it's a time that he was rescuing a guy whose waistcoat got wet and really clingy. Yeah. It was like, oh, it's so clingy, it's going to change. It's so bad, rescue me. So yeah, so, but we cut to like right after the helicopter crash. I love this so much. The first half is right up to it, but we stopped right before. And then the second half is right after, but we don't see it. Right. So it's after the helicopter crash, trust us, it was very fiery

and distressing and the injured guy has lost the injured guy that they were picking up in the helicopter has lost his Maltese cross. Right. And he's begging CJ to go back for it. Cause it's really important. CJ's like, no, that's nothing. You need it for dying.

I'm not doing that. No. Right. Well, and, and, and CJ is kind of like trying to go like, well, dude, you're not going to live long enough. You know what? No, you know what? I'll go back. I'll get your bottle. I'll get your bottle. He just puts his hands over the guy's mouth.

Yeah, the guy even says, you know, if I don't make it, I want you to have it. But he could just not go and get it because he doesn't want to anyway. He didn't want to begin with. Right. Yes, exactly. He didn't want to risk his life for it. If you do die, then we're all fine. Oh, no. When you die, I'll totally go get it. I'll grab it from where is it? Point it. Oh, you can't. You're dead.

Yeah, right. Right. Exactly. No, it's over there. Yes. Oh, sorry. Let me hold my hand over here. Are there any VCs in the bushes to shoot this guy? This is exhausting. Well, yeah. So he goes to get it. And while he's off getting it, some Viet Cong guys come up and shoot this dude to death. They shoot the injured guy to death. In the most bold fashion. Imagine, oh, there's a guy, bang, he's dead. What's next? Yeah. Right. Right. And what I love here is the movie's trying to say, this was God's way of saving CJ, right? If he had been there with injured guy, they would have shot and killed him too, but he was away getting the Maltese cross.

But like, but if CJ was there, like CJ wasn't injured and had a gun, right? Like, like maybe they both live, maybe Danny lives too. And if Vietnam doesn't happen, then the world's also different. There's so many things that God could control to change this little shit, whatever. That's where you start arguing. You have to do all these other things. Right. So he says, you know, and that's the day I realized that there was a God and he really wasn't fond of Danny. And he's talking to a, like a chaplain or something like that.

I think at one point, I think that's kind of, that's what's happened here. And the chaplain says, you know, I'm sure it's something like, I don't keep this as a good look charm. That's what he says. CJ says something like, I don't keep this as a good look charm. That's what he says. CJ says, Oh, I don't keep this as a good look charm. I said, yeah, because like keeping the dead guy's medal as a good look charm would be pretty insensitive. But that's how CJ gets converted to Christianity, right?

This chaplain after this incident tells him, you know, the good news about Jesus or whatever. And he asked him a few questions and the chap basically says, like, yeah, don't think about God's plan because that fucks my thing. The plan is the plan. Just fucking do it. And so he does it. CJ's a Christian now.

Yeah. Well, and then, so CJ, after he finishes telling the story, he gives Kelly the cross. What a dick move. Rob had just said he spent years trying to get a medal like this. He was going to buy it and see it and he's like, no, no, I wouldn't part with that. Kelly, do you want it by any chance?

Yes, exactly. That's amazing. He's like, such a good fuck you. He's like, no, she shares my religion, so I'm going to give it to her instead. Also bear in mind all of this. She was doodly doing right from the very start when she took the medal out in the helicopter. Doodly-doing as to how she got the medal. Yes. And the really interesting story is, oh, a guy gave it to me once.

She got it as a gift because somebody wanted to spite an atheist sitting next to her. Yeah, right. That's the totem for the movie. So okay. So then we cut back to Linda's office so that Kelly can argue with her more about funding more people for life flight. This is the second time the movie will pass the Bechdel test. Yeah. She's, she's given Linda a proposal about what to do.

And the proposal is we use people that we know. Is that okay? Yeah, that's a good proposal actually. Yeah, solid. What if instead of hiring new people, we just re-appropriated existing ones? Yeah. And Linda's like, I don't think that's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good.

That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good.

That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good.

That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. Okay, hold on. Maybe if God has a kid shoot another mom, it'll get us a better budget. That was helpful earlier. Yeah, right. Well, maybe that's what God had in mind, right? Because just then, Lifelight gets a call about a car accident and she has to run off. Now, again, all of the interesting stuff happens off screen, right? We just cut to the helicopter taking off at an accident scene, right? And they're flying back to the hospital. Kelly's doing everything she can. Rob says from the pilot, she's like, is there anything I can do? And Kelly says, yes. Pray.

Right. She's also like, but I'm going to do CPR because that's like a real thing. Right. Yeah. Is there anything useful I can do is what I meant. I mean, she's going to do CPR at literally almost exactly half speed. She's doing incredibly slow CPR. She hasn't even taken the tube out of the guy's mouth to then breathe into his mouth. So this is awful CPR. Yeah. You're supposed to do Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees, right?

And she's not doing that. I sang that song over her chest compressions and she was doing it Every other beat. Oh, well that shitty Christian band at her church did like a ballad cover of right? Yeah, like a Christmas ad let the cover on a Christmas ad for like a mall or something like that. Yeah Yeah, but but they get to the hospital but it's too late. The person doesn't make it. CJ sees them, sees the helicopter landing and he wishes that he was out there life-flighting with him. But then he flashes back to Vietnam a little bit and he's like, Oh, actually, no, I don't, I don't wish that.

Yeah. He sees a flashback that we've already seen before. So we don't linger on it. So, you know, that one, yeah, it's that thing. Yeah, right. Right. It was the go for it moment that he flashes back to here He's remembering the concept Interesting yeah, and in that it going yeah, but this is where they established that they the guy didn't live the guy in the car accident Didn't live Because she was all alone and they couldn't do

Two people's stuff to save him, right? The doctors at the ER going, well, did you do this? Did you do that? And she's like, no, because there was only one of me and we couldn't do that. And then like everybody looks at Linda like, oh, so you really basically killed this kid then. Hold on, Kelly, weren't you with Jesus too? He didn't help with no.

Yeah, right. Didn't he carry you across the sand? Yeah. Yeah, right. Or didn't he carry you across the sand? Yeah, but then we fucking we flashback within the doodly-doo within the flashback to Kelly learning Jesus stuff from a pastor who isn't CJ but looks exactly like. I assure you that isn't CJ. I thought that was CJ. I was certain it was CJ. I'm pretty sure that's a different actor.

It's a different white guy from 1987 that actually looks like from 1978 because it's a Christian movie and that's how it works. Yep. Just hire one black guy. I'm begging you hire one black guy. I was telling Ann that I was watching this movie from 1987 and I'm talking about how they look and she's like, oh do they look like they're from 1978 because Christian movies are that far behind. I was like, they do actually. Yeah, they all do. Every fucking one of them. But this is where Kelly realizes that the problem is she's been asking Linda

for help getting all of this funding. She hasn't been asking Jesus. So there's this great moment to where Rob is like, Hey, what are you thinking about? She's like my favorite Bible verse. And he's like, Oh, my God, no. Fuck. I don't care. I'm keeping my penny. Also, she's doing that while Rob is like cleaning the outside of the helicopter by hand with a little cloth. And she just sat in there like reminiscing about the Bible classes

she went to when she was at school. Like pick up a cloth and help. Come on. Sorry, no, I was swooshing a flashback of a doodly-doodle-doo. It's really, and we're in a flashback. So this is very difficult for me Come on. I was swooshing a flashback of a dude. It's really it's and we're in a flashback. So this is very difficult for me to do. I have to keep a lot of a lot of strands in the old dude or his head. But she's like, don't you want to know my favorite Bible verse? And he's like, fuck. Yes.

Fine. I have to tell you later that I killed your fish. So I guess I'll I'll let you Bible verse at me. And she tells me it's the one about where God says, don't try to know stuff because that'll fuck up our whole thing. The whole walk not by sight or whatever That's her favorite one. Yeah, like the chaplain said too, which is like don't think about this Right, we won't get you to be Christian anymore, but she believes that God's gonna come through with full staffing

so meanwhile Michael is still pestering coma Eric about his plans to Christianize Rob Michael is still pestering Coma Eric about his plans to Christianize Rob. Yeah, and he sort of, Michael spins around in this moment, like he's kind of, like he's just finished his training or something. And I really want that to be like a Bible training montage, like Coma guy just passed out in the corner of a ring giving him tips, like throwing a towel to him. Yeah, it really, the scene plays like Michael is realizing that God is the one he wanted

to take to the prom the whole time, you know, or whatever. So and then he leaves and we see a tear like a single tear running down Eric's cheek. Eric's still comatose. And I'm like, it's so good. The actor playing Eric is just weeping with laughter at how bad this is. Yeah, right. Right. Well, I'm like, I'd be crying if I was in a coma and couldn't escape this

asshole. Yeah, no, I get it. Yeah. And the point he makes, Michael loses to himself again, so, so hard here. He first, he's like, so I was watching a Christian movie. That's how I got the, those are amazing, by the way, Wink, those lessons they give you. And he says, I admitted, he's talking to an unconscious person again, to be clear. And he's like, I admitted I'm a sinner. And it was great. And then he's like, long pause. None of my problems went away though. I had all my problems.

Yes! Still, what the fuck was I talking about? Oh, you're unconscious. It's so good. Is this the time, is this around the time he says, quote, the promises that apply to Christians don't apply to other people? And I wrote, yeah, I mean, at least it called the Supreme Court. That's right.

Yeah, right. Yeah. He also says you don't have to make a big production about accepting God. And that's like the big end of this moment that like the lesson we're supposed to learn. He says that with orchestral backing during a movie while giving a speech to a coma patient. Yes, yes. Yeah. It's so amazing. So then we cut to Rob and Michael having lunch and somehow Rob is wearing the most popped collar that has ever been popped at this point. He's basically popping one of those 70s fucking disco porn collars or something.

It's back to an inward collar. It's like in his shoulders now somehow. Right, yeah. Yeah, this is, he's like, so how are you getting along with the fish? Ah, shit, I've already asked that half an hour. God damn it. He's like, actually, it turns out I've killed all of them.

It's been a big pain in the ass. So anyway, so did you ever find those act three Bible answers that we've been building up to? And it's like, yes, I did. It took me so long. I didn't sleep for the last like three weeks. I did good will hunting. I had to study four Bibles at once.

But yes, I found one thing that helps. Well, and what I love is that the movie admits he's like, yes, it was John such and such was they said to get into heaven, you have to be born again. And he's like, OK, so where in the Bible does it say what that means? And he's like, man, God fucking damn it, because it doesn't. Right. Like the movie has to admit that the Bible never explains what the fuck that phrase could possibly mean. And so Christians just made shit up. Right. And then he's made shit up, right? And then he's like, all right,

so did you ever figure out an answer to that, like why pray to an omniscient being question other than the stupid erector set thing? And he's like, yes, I did. Prayer is our way of maintaining a relationship with God. And he's like, that isn't a thing. You just used words. You're saying that God is a needy partner in a relationship right now?

God. The God of the universe? Really? And Rob points out, he's like, well, yeah, but that's, that's still not biblical. You already gave me a bullshit answer. What about a biblical one? And he's like, oh, okay, let me say even more nonsensical nonsense words. Yeah.

He says something like- Nothing he says that answers the question at that point. No, it does not. Something like prayer is the guarantee that the magic wishing gets through to God. But then again, Michael just shoots himself at the foot. He ends that by saying, well, assuming you wish for the stuff God already wanted you to wish for. Oh, that was your question in the first place. Pock! And Rob's like, adds another really bad answer, man. I wanted you to have. Well, that was your question in the first place. Fuck.

And Rob's like, that's another really bad answer, man. How would you say this is going for you? Like rate your whole movie experience for you. One to 10. Are you winning or? Yes, they think he wins. So, okay. So then we get Kelly showing up for her fish, right?

But he's bought new fake fish. And so she's like, wow, they look even healthier than when I left them. And younger too. That's stripy. But he's like, yeah, no, I took such good care of your fish. They're, they're smaller now. And then we cut to Kelly like the next day, I guess, in the hospital hallway. She's talking to the

movie's first person of color, actually. She's talking to an African American nurse and she's saying like, yeah, you know, I would have been able to save that kid the other day, but Linda won't give me a second person. Shit, she's standing right behind me, isn't she? As she turns around, she says, Linda wouldn't give me a second person, so that kid died, is what I was saying. I think one of the things she says to the nurse is that she inflated the man's pants. I rewinded a couple of times. All I could get was like, I inflated the man's pants.

That's what happened there, right? That's not a standard part of CPR. I thought I was going crazy. That's part of, okay, maybe part of CPR. Interesting. It may be. Maybe part of like 1987 slash 78 CPR. Yeah, right.

Right. Well, we had tight CPR. Yeah, right. Right. Well, we had tight pants. Really tight pants back then. So, so, but Linda and Kelly have it out in the hallway. She's like, well, you don't know for an absolute fact that I killed that boy. And Kelly's like, did you hear it just now when you said that? And she's like, but yeah, kind of. And then they get this fucking, I guess this movie thinks it's a reveal, where Kelly says,

Linda, I know the real reason you won't expand the Life Flight program is because you're afraid that it'll give the appearance of favoritism because your husband wants to join it. And that is the plot of the movie, I think. Yes. And the reason this was a reveal for me is that I had completely forgotten that Linda was CJ's husband. So this work is a reveal to me that they were married. Oh yeah, they're married.

So Linda's just letting people die to avoid seeming like she's giving her husband the voluntary role that he wants. Is that it? I guess. Yeah. So, and then Linda walks away. Kelly remembers the time that CJ gave her the medal, which is the time that yes, we are flashing back to earlier in the flashback in the doodly

do. Seriously. Right? That's the worst it's ever going to get. Right? Like, so she does that. And then we back out all the way. We close all the parentheses and we're back out of the original doodly Doo, right? They're going to, they're helicoptering out to save the snowmobilers from the beginning of the movie. Just like title card, infinity swoosh back the other whatever. It's now down. Don't be a dick. We have the metal.

I guess the fucking snowmobilers are like, did you not have a shorter flashback lady? Jesus. Yeah. I want them to have drowned. Like she was having too long a flashback. I'm sorry. They drowned. They kick her into the water in slow motion. Like Inception. So they land the chopper long enough to take the doors off of the chopper. See, that did make sense eventually.

Why though? It does not make sense. It's like take the door off so they can dangle a rope out of the helicopter. But I feel like he could he could dangle a rope out of the window of the helicopter door. Oh, god damn it. And if anything, or open the door. Yeah, because then the people who are holding the rope on the other end can't be pulled

out. Right. That would be good. Doors famously open. That's like one of the two things. That's the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah.

So yeah. So then this is where like the snowmobilists take off their helmets and it's Linda and CJ. And I wrote in my notes, or I genuinely can't tell white people apart. Yeah. It was, it was too low resolution. I couldn't tell that it was meant to be them. It took me ages to realize that that was meant to be meaningful. Yeah. That's funny as hell. Luckily after 90 minutes thrashing around in the water, they were like, should we take our helmets and masks?

Yeah, let's take our helmets and masks. Oh, it's going to be so much easier to breathe. They'll be able to see that, you know, we're all friends. Oh, but it's so funny watching them fumble with the rope. Because they're all, like, clearly in very inflated coats to keep them up in the water. And they're trying to, like, as they're bobbing around, they're trying to grab hold of the rope, but they use the entire foot of them trying and they miss several times. So we've spent like two minutes of them like splash on the blah blah blah blah blah. Rope, missed the rope, blah blah blah blah.

Yeah, CJ, it's just like grab my hand, man. What are you doing? Just use your hand to grab my hand. And he's just fumbling around. It was like another infomercial thing for him and he just keeps missing. It's the best. They're thing for him and he just keeps missing. It's the best. They're sort of throwing a rope over him like they're trying to play a carnival game at this point. Like, no, if I get the CG out of the walls, I can get a cuddly toy out of the bushes. Right, right.

Well, but this is my favorite part of this movie because it doesn't realize how stupid it is, how it's proven the wrong point again. So what happens here is that they throw a rope out and they get Linda, they get the wife first and they drag her across the ice like they're trying to fucking play with a cat, right? Like a giant cat. They drag her the far way. They drag her like a mile to the other shore. They're 10 feet from the one shore. If they drag her back to the hospital, it takes about a month.

And then they go back to get CJ and I'm like, but they could have just both held onto the rope. Why would you because the helicopter could definitely carry one more person unless they were at their weight limit because Kelly kept insisting on having another person in the fucking helicopter, in which case her dumb shit ruined every fucking thing. Right? I just I love that moment so much because they had no idea. And I'm like, oh, if only there hadn't been only two people in his fucking helicopter.

But they go back. He's too cold now. CJ's too cold to grab the rope. So Kelly has to just lean out and grab him and pull him across the ice. It's one of those stunts. It looks like it genuinely might have been quite dangerous to perform, but in no way looks impressive. Right.

Which is the worst way of doing a stunt in a film. Absolutely. And my favorite bit about this is that Kelly's like a 130 pound woman and CJ is like a 210 pound man. So she like tries to drag him out of the ice and she keeps dropping him over and over and over. I could not stop laughing here either. He keeps sliding back into the icy water. Never see a kid go limp when he doesn't want to leave the toy store. It was like CJ, like so many times they finally get him. Oh, it's amazing. Remember when Peter Griffin's trying

to grab the dead frog and like put it into with the shoe box. Yeah, right. Right. Without touching it. You can't grab it, slide it up the wall. It falls back. I kept laughing. It's so good. So fucking funny. But ultimately they do manage to drag him safely across the ice. I wrote in my notes here. I'm like, what a hilariously suspenseless way to finish off the movie. And autocorrect told me suspenseless wasn't a word. It underlined it in red. And I'm like, motherfucker, you ain't watching the movie. I'm watching. I'll tell you what it's a word. What is it? So, okay. So now we're back at the hospital. Kelly's about to go up in the elevator and who's in that elevator but coma Eric, he's all woke up now.

His plot line is over. She says, Hiya. Like hey, good coma, buddy. How was that? You gonna sue the hospital because a guy was fucking proselytizing the whole time? Oh, you're in a coma. Because you should. Also, am I crazy? But does she step in the lift,

ask for the button to press on the fifth floor, and then just leaves? I don't think that they've gone anywhere. She walks in, she presses the fifth floor, says hi to Eric, and leaves. And then they're all going to the fifth floor. They were trying to go down. They've all had to go to the fifth floor. She's pranking them.

She presses all the buttons, dives. Right, right. Yeah. So, but she's going to check on Linda and CJ. They have a hospital room together, which is nice, right? And Linda says, I love this line. She goes, I don't know quite how to say this, Kelly, but thank you. That was it. How the hell do you not know quite how to say that? Yeah, you've nailed it. Thank you.

Oh, yo, the tank. I don't know. But yeah, but the boss comes in or the mid-level manager, the guy who sent her to Kelly earlier or Linda earlier, he comes in and he says, Kelly, you're a hero. And she says, so does that mean we're going to get that extra person on the life flight helicopters that I've been talking about this whole time? And she's, and he's like, yes, for reasons that are entirely unclear to anyone in the audience. Yes. This resolves

that plot line. I just wanted to be like, no, no, why would it change that? Yeah, right. If anything, you just endangered a guy from having too many people in the helicopter. We're taking you out. We're just going to send a helicopter. We having too many people in the helicopter. We're taking you out. We're just going to send a helicopter. We think an empty helicopter is the trick. And she's like, good. So then there'll be room for CJ who could be on the life flight EMT thing after all.

And CJ looks like pretty much directly at the camera and he goes, I knew God had big plans for me. And I'm like, well, medium plans. I mean, let's not get carried away here. Can we also just talk about what their solution is? They go into some detail, but the crux of their solution is that paramedics, EMTs, typically work like a three-day-on, four-days-off shift pattern. So they can just be air EMTs on their four days off.

Yes. So it's like our solution is to have them work three 12 hour shifts plus in a row and then do another job on top of that. Yes. Just dangerously work our medical staff. Flying helicopters, for example. Yeah. So yeah, so the point of this movie is that we really should have socialized medicine.

Mm-hmm. So yeah, so but then Kelly goes to check on Rob who's spiffing up the helicopter, you know, shining up for the night. She tells him the good news about their new staffing. And then this is where I guess he has a pang of conscience and tells her about the fish, tells her like, I actually killed your fish. And she's like, yeah, they were a different color when I picked him up. I knew.

I know. Yeah, thank fuck we did not leave that hanging. I felt the suspense of that unresolved fish tension the entire way. Right. But so, and this is such a silly fucking point, because she gives him like, well, you know, did you at least learn something here today? And he goes like, I did. I'm Christian now. And so I think that the movie was trying to tell us that the right way of Christianizing him wasn't to pastor him with the proselytizing like Michael was doing, but to let him kill your fish like Kelly did.

He guilted himself into ridiculous. Yeah, right. Oh yeah, right, right. He goes, Hey, do you think that God helped you pull CJ out of the ice the other day? And she goes, uh, well, if you did, then he also put CJ in the ice like Heath was saying. So, you're lost, wouldn't it? Oh, there's a great exchange as well. Cause she says at one point, uh, uh, do you, I think she said, do you want to know what I think? And doesn't he just go, no, I'm just making

conversation. He actually says I was just making conversation. Yes. And finally, she goes to walk away and he goes, Kelly, what do you think? I'm just making conversation. I was so happy. He actually says I was just making conversation. Yes. Brutal. And finally she goes to walk away and he goes, Kelly, what do you think I should do? And Kelly says for reasons that Heath understood and me and Marsh were entirely baffled by, she says, I'd go for it.

She throws him the medal. Me and Marsh write go for what? And the movie ends on a goddamn freeze frame. Actual freeze frame of like holding the Maltese cross in the hand. Freeze frame. Yes! But, oh God, go for it. Like, fuck, just do it.

God, Nike, same thing. Yeah. So good. But no, it made us though, even though they had it set up as a thing, God, 90, same thing. Yeah. So good. But no, it made us though, even though they had it set up as a thing, what does that mean in the moment? What is she saying? Right.

What does the whole conversation means? Cause I wrote, it's like, what shall I do? I wrote about what? Her answer, I'd go for it. I wrote go for what? Like none of those exchanges are making sense. Go for- No, nothing. Yeah, I'd like to think that there's still freeze-framed there to this very day.

But that's the end of the movie because luckily Christian movies hadn't discovered after credit scenes yet. So Marsh, thanks for hanging out. Thanks so much. Anything you want to plug while we've got you here? Yeah, absolutely. So QED is coming up back end of October. So October 18th and 19th, I believe it is, off the top of my head. It's going to be fantastic. QED is coming up back end of October. So October 18th and 19th, I believe

it is off the top of my head. It's going to be fantastic. QED is always great. Everybody who comes always says it's such a great time. You guys are coming. You can go to QEDcon.org to find out all the people we've announced so far. We're going to announce more speakers and panels and all sorts of stuff on top of that. So that's in Manchester in the UK. If you can't get to Manchester in the UK, we will be live streaming the whole weekend. So the main stage and the panel room, it's like £45 or not that much over $50 for an entire weekend of streaming. So even if you're not able to get to the UK, definitely check out the stream. It's well, well worth it. You can watch the stream for like a month after the event. So yeah, we're selling those

tickets currently. Oh, that's awesome. All right. Well, I guess that's going to do it for our review of Life Flight, but that's not going to do it for the episode just yet because we still need to renew our contract. So Heath, tell us what's on deck. The Book of Daniel. It's a movie about, I guess, the Book of Daniel from the Bible. Yeah, probably. I think that's one of the Bible books, right? Yeah, that's one of them. So, all right. Lions? Yeah, some's some lions there. All right. So with that to look forward to, we're going to bring episode 461 to a merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to Marsh for all his help today. Be sure to check the show notes for links to all his other shows and perhaps even a huge thanks to all

the Patreon donors that help make the show go. If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks, you can make a prep so donation of patreon.com slash got offline there by early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, The Skating Atheist, Citation D, D&D Minus, and The Skeptical Guide, available wherever podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, or cinema suggestions, you can email godoffamovies.gmail.com. Tim Robertson takes care of our social media. Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slott, Iggy Vajras on Mars. All the other music was written and performed by our audio engineer,

Morgan Kargan, whilst she was on permission. Thanks again for giving us a check of your life this week. For Heathen Rate, Neil Abosnick, I'm Nolish's Promise to Work Harder, earn another chunk. on Mars. All the other music was written and performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clark and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a check of your life this week. For Heathen Rate, Neil Abosnick, I'm Noel, this is Prophecy to work harder, earn another check. Next week until then, we'll leave you with a Breakfast Club Flows. Linda got up from her hospital bed, took a shit on CJ's bed, and immediately hit him with a pillow because those are the rules and he has to clean it up now. Apparently! Yep. CJ was quickly sacked from the air ambulance for insisting on playing Ride of the Vulkries at full volume during every call out. Why are you sitting on your helmet? Kill the Wabbit. Kelly boiled Rob to death in salt water to see how he liked it. I kept the timing right, but my three was more aggressive, like vocal.

So I hope that didn't throw anybody off. Your four disappeared for me. I just guessed where the four would be and I think I nailed it. All right. Yeah, it sounded like you were in syncs. Maybe it was so in sync. Maybe I had the kind of the exact opposite sound waves. Right, yeah, exactly.

I like canceled your like noise-canceling headphones. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC, copyright 2024, all rights reserved.