God Awful Movies - 472: Noah's Ark (2007)

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

This week, Cecil joins us for an atheist review of Noah's Ark, a Spanish cartoon that finally answers the question of where all the sewage on the ark goes. --- Get tickets to see us live in Boston! --- Check out more from Cecil on Cognitive Dissonance, Lawful Assembly, and Season Liberally --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/

Again, I'm just cutting to the Spanish writer's room where it's like, so at that point, the lioness who he is not as attracted to as the panther, she lectures him on his overly generous zoning permit. Hey guys, what the fuck happened, huh? Noah's Ark is still at the top of the whiteboard yeah that we're doing the storyboard on. I think it might have as the Americans say gotten away from us a little bit. God Awful Movie Movie!

Welcome back to the Gamecast where each week we sample another selection from Christian Cinema because I want revenge on me. I'm your host, No Illusions. Heath will be unable to join us this week, but sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnik. Eli, how are you this fine afternoon, sir? Sorry, I had to take my fur helmet off. I'm the sheriff. How are you? I thought I would dress for success. Yeah, no, it's going to be appropriate eventually. Yeah, you keep doing it. And also joining us this week, you'll know I'm from the Cognitive Dissonance

podcast or Citation Needed or Seasoned Liberally or Lawful Assembly. He's Cecil something, Italian Cecil. Welcome back to the show. Hey, thanks for having me guys. Super excited. I'm pretty excited myself. And I apologize for not having written this into the notes as I so often do, but Cecil, tell us,

what will we be breaking down today? Today we're gonna be watching Noah's Ark, which is a 2007 animated movie, full length movie. Yep, kind of flew under the radar. You're gonna learn why as we go. 2007 animated movie, full length movie. Yep, kind of flew under the radar. You're going to learn why as we go. And that's going to relate to the answer to this question. Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you love the cutesy fun of Disney Bible Tales,

but you wish they had the subtlety and self control of my internet search history, you will love this movie. Yeah. So, okay. So here's what happened, and I figured this out about halfway through the movie and it answered a lot of questions. This is originally a Spanish cartoon and it was dubbed in English, brought over to the

US. So it has a Spanish sense of humor and more important, it has Spanish religious sensibilities, which are way less prudish than American religious sensibilities. In a lot of ways, this movie treats the source material like we would if we were making a cartoon Hercules, you know, or something like that. There are so many moments in this movie where I'm like, well, that's the choice I would have made if I were making this movie. So I'm like, well, that's the choice I would have made if I were making this movie. So.

Although if it was Spanish, I would have added the Inquisition somewhere in there. Yeah. Well, but you would have expected it at that point. We can't do it. So, yeah, we actually had an earnest discussion at the at the beginning of this record where we're like, guys, this cartoon was actually pretty good. What are we going to do? As far as got all the movies goes, it's really not bad. It really wasn't bad.

No, but trust me, we'll find something to joke about. Like, I'm usually not allowed to talk about it when I jerk off to our movies, right? No, it has a whole thing. God damn it, man. I feel like that tells you everything you need to know. Heaven is for real. He really yelled at me. Jesus Christ. I feel like that tells you everything you need to know those are real. He really yelled There's a reason he flooded the world All right, so is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best to be the worst at I

Would like to nominate it for best depiction of Noah's poop shoot not you know, uh, well, you know that's my page I don't know. Yeah, that's on his own Noah's poop shoot. Not you, Noah. Well, yeah, no, that's on the page right now. Noah's poop shoot. It is a question that has plagued me since I heard about Noah's arc and there is graphic depictions in this movie

of how poop moves through the arc and I cannot be more happy. They always leave that out. Yep. Yeah, I can't be more happy. At fucking Ken Ham's weird arc park, all they have on the walls one broom and said, well I guess they pushed it around. Yeah.

Like I don't know. Yeah. Little sweep sweep here, sweep there. It's a rough looking broom. You know, just like you do with poop. Yeah. You sweep it. You know, that's how it works.

Yeah. Yeah. Podcast listener, by the time you've heard this I will be one day out from a promised coffee enema and this is still the grossest poop I will have seen this week, so. I think so. All right, so I'm gonna go with best worst wives. So we have the Noah's son's wives

as characters in this movie, and the characters are literally inside out little girl, Eli's Lucinda impersonation. Sure are. And Senora Pets. It is, yes! It just blew me the fuck away. Cause like there were so many times during this movie

where I was like, Eli did this. This whole fucking podcast was Eli's trick to get us to watch his cartoon that he made back in 2007. And yeah, never was I more sure when fucking all his impersonations started trotting out as the Wackeyes. All my character yeah. Carl the Puck of Pegacorn might as well be the messenger from heaven. I thought for sure one of them was Cardi B, but you're right absolutely. Yeah I know.

That fits way better. Do you remember when Cardi B was on Hot Ones and she was completely unaffected by the wings? That's the most scary scary movie I've ever seen. Alright I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just needed to say it for the record. I'm going to go with best worst slow motion walk away explosion. Yes. That's right. Podcast listener. Do you remember the slow motion walk away explosion in the Noah's Ark story? Well, you're about to. Oh, let us regale. Nothing has encapsulated the whole concept of best worst more than that.

Best worst. Yes. All right. Well, I guess the audience needs a minute to load in two by two. So we're going to take a quick break, but we'll come back. We'll dive into all the fart joke sacrilege that is Noah's Ark. Two thousand seven. I'll load it in all right. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. All right.

You guys ready to do the rest of the podcast? Sure. Eli, you sure your voice is okay? Oh, yeah. Sorry. This is just the breaking through. The what now? Oh, like two or three times a year.

The tears I haven't cried kind of burst through. And so I like scream and then I scream and I scream. My voice is just this for a week. It's, it's rough. You do? Yeah. Yeah. It's no big deal. I'd say it happens what?

No, once a quarter. Yeah. Yeah. About once a quarter. Once a quarter. Yeah. I mean, that doesn't sound great at all. Have you considered therapy? Yeah.

You know, I've always wanted to give therapy a try, but my insurance is like really hard to figure that out through. And I just don't feel like I have the time to find the right person and it gets expensive. If that's what's holding you back from getting the help you need, you should try BetterHelp. What's BetterHelp? If you're thinking of giving therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist anytime for no additional charge.

Plus, if money's an issue, they have financial aid available. Wow, that sounds like an amazing way to get help I need on my schedule and from home. It is. Rediscover your curiosity with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash awful today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, h-e-l-p dot com slash awful. Alright guys, thanks. You're all done screaming for the month then? Let me see, give me a second. Yeah. Yeah, all good. Okay. All good. Alright, I call together this secret council of the furries that get to make a children's movie

every so often to make a bunch of new furries. Now, gentlemen, before we begin, I want to say we did a fantastic job on the Robin Hood cartoon 20 years ago. And honestly, we just have not hit that quality again in the same way. Yeah, I agree. I want Robin Hood to spit in my mouth. Yeah, we all do so let's hear it gentlemen How are we gonna get this generation? Okay, so so I was thinking

what if we got a whole new set of kids with a Noah's Ark movie No, it's Ark the the Bible story exactly all those Christian kids sitting at home parents put this on boom furries right all right I like it yeah so okay so how do we subtly incorporate the furry stuff well I mean the animals are on a boat two by two for a reason oh that's true they are yeah so you know it's it it's implied. It is already implied. Oh, oh, and so like maybe there's a handsome lion prince who only goes on the arc because he thinks it's a giant fuckboat for fucking.

Oh, well, okay, Steve. And there's a dove strip club and not just implied, by the way. I want to watch a dove strip like a full dove strip performance You know I'm saying it's not really that subtle and then there's a panther named panties who does multiple Burlesque numbers and cage dances. I have already drawn the pictures of her. Okay should not subtle at all Yeah, I was thinking we go a little broader on this one Sorry, did you say cage dances? And we're back for the breakdown and we're going to open up with some animals being wacky

just in general. Right. A little bit of a snake tug of war going on. There's definitely some pine. I guess it was a pineapple hedgehog. Is that what I was seeing? I had pineapple monkey, but yeah. Okay. There is definitely a point in this.

Like we learned this is going to be weird early on because it's just like, oh, there's a peacock. Oh, would they watch out for the snake and, you know, whatever a coconut falls on us? And then like this pineapple monkey runs up to fuck the pineapple. Yeah. And we're like, what is what is happening? And then the pineapple monkey gets eaten by a frog and then spit into a baboons ass Yeah at this point I wrote in my notes 35 seconds in and everything is a hellscape see so welcome back to the show I Seriously thought I shot him into his balls. I didn't realize it was his ass. I was like one of those red

One of the multiple times something will get shot into an elephant's ass and realize it was his ass, I was like, what are those red things? That's his fucking balls? One of the multiple times something will get shot into an elephant's ass. Yep, yep. It is not a singular event. Yeah. I guess that's true. I was like, are they just trying to establish

that the animals were all a bunch of assholes and had it come in two? But then all of these animals and a dude get trapped in a net. The caveman, by the way, looks exactly like Geraldo Rivera. Like, Geraldo, if you're listening, you should sue. Yeah. And the captor looks just like Sean Conner.

It's pretty fucking weird. Yeah. All right. So and then we cut to this ancient street of iniquity where bad guys are bad guying and this blonde guy who's going to turn out to be God. Right. Is walking through the town going and he's talking to his little assistant guy and he's going like, oh, his motherfuckers just need to be flooded to death, don't they? These prices are ridiculous. If you need an image for what they've chosen for God for this movie, think walking up to

a club and looking at the bouncer and deciding, I don't think I'm going to get in tonight. That's how they've betrayed God. Your least favorite bouncer at your local bar. Yep, that's God. So it took me so long, because he's like walking around going like, oh wow, I need to destroy all of this shit. And I'm like, do you have the infinity stones?

Who are you? But no. What the fuck is it? He's God. And then the assistant, I had him as the Holy Ghost throughout my notes, right? I don't know. Oh, OK. I have him as short, Tyler, because he's sure.

And also, I know this came in 2007 and our podcast technically came after that date, but I still felt ripped off. Yeah, no, I get it. I get it. Yeah. So, yeah. So small, Tyler decides he's like like, Oh God, are you sure you want to kill everybody? And he's like, hold on a second. Who took my medallion? Yeah. Kill all them motherfuckers. He totally goes from zero to genocide in like two seconds. Yeah, he does. Yeah, sure does. And so, and then just then though, Noah walks by just mumbling to himself, Oh, it sure is a den of iniquity. I wonder what God would have me do in such an awful time.

And God's like, oh, that guy seems all right. Yeah, that guy seems okay. This is also where we get our first look at Noah. And it's interesting that the Spanish visualize Noah as the after midnight DJ on your college jazz station. Yeah. Who is also the philosophy professor there. Yeah, right.

Yeah, for sure. Who is also the philosophy professor there. Absolutely. Did they find some rejected cells from Princess and the Frog and were just like, hey, free animated things. Yeah, right, right. And we should say, by the way, too, that like the animation, like compared to the shit we watched, the animation in this is actually very good, right? It's not bad. It's really not. It's a very jungle book ask.

It seemed like to me. Yeah. So, yeah. So Noah walks by God. God's contemplating that. And while he's doing that, Noah is going to go visit the green anti-Semitic caricature and his wife that lend Noah money. Yeah. I will refer to them throughout our notes as the tenardies.

Well done, sir. Yeah. Yeah. So but we cut back to God and the Holy Ghost strategizing about apocalypses and the Tarzan, Geraldo Rivera runs by and he goes, Oh, thanks to Noah. I'm free and no longer a slave. God's like to I'm going to kill that guy tomorrow. So bad. So apparently Noah borrowed money from the Tenardier's to to free random slaves. Yeah. We're all over and goes back into debt again. Yeah. Yes. He checks on slavery the way I check on just to get my local grocery store,

which I just pop in every morning. You got more in stock. All right. Let me take that off your hands for you. Off I go. So OK, so then we've got Noah. He's heading back home from town and his sons are with him telling him that they think he's kind of fucking things up, spending the family fortune freeing slaves. OK, so they have chosen to make Noah's sons

a variety of different races. They sure have. I mean, look, I guess if you're going to deal with the ham problem, starting him out black is the better option. Right? I don't like this because the whole ham is black thing that comes up to like justify chattel slavery. That's where that comes from. Right.

The idea that he's a black. So I think once you make Ham black, there's no rescuing it. There's no way to rescue it from there. You just gotta, you gotta be a full Ham denialist. You can't, in other words, go Ham. No. You can go, look, no, you can have Ham in your fucking movie. That's fine. You just can't, you can't black him out like they did it was a really they really went it was full of very Uncomfortable yeah, you know why they couldn't have that character and the husband from the Ternardy a couple Earlier in the same scene why is that because then there'd be green legs and hands

So okay, we didn't mention that the other guy was green yet, or no I didn't mention I didn't mention that the other guy was green yet. Or no, I didn't mention it. No, I did. I did. I did. Okay. Yep. You nailed it.

You did. You did. You did. Amazing. That was actually pretty fucking good. And I shit all over it immediately. So. Thanks for coming to the podcast everybody.

We did it. I peaked. So then we get home and we meet my best worst, the wives, we're starting with Signora Pats. Yeah. I say here that they have wildly different accents like a citation needed sketch where all of us don't know what we're doing and we just all pick a

random accent and start going. That's the field. It felt just like an Eli sketch. Yeah, sure did. Sure did. And they're all complaining about Noah wasting the money freeing slaves and stuff And they're talking about how they each think that their husband should be the one in charge of the family Right, they agree that they should murder Noah. They just can't agree who should take over afterwards And I wrote my notes. Cecil do you feel at home with these folks? This feels very Italian This must be like watching the bear for you. I felt very at home with the Cardi B one I felt like I felt like I felt her in my bones where

she was truly. She was definitely talking down to all the other ladies and she wanted to make you a big pot of meat. That's what she wanted throughout the whole movie. And I was like, grandma, give me a hug. So, okay, so then we're going to go check on Noah and Mrs. Noah. Now, like the Bible, they never give Mrs. Noah a name, so I just call her Lucinda throughout. For the best. Well, I don't think it is though, because that constantly means I have things in my notes

like Lucinda thinks maybe Noah has his head up his ass. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not saying the two relationships are entirely dissimilar. Oh my god. It's so often she's just like, wow, you spent money on that, huh? And I'm like, wow, that's not comfortable.

And then she'll come up to me like, wow, you're working way harder than you have to all the fucking time and should stop that before you hurt yourself. And I'm like, oh, god damn it. Now I. Yeah, a lot of that. You're taking on too much Noah. Yeah. So yeah, so as Noah's wife is coming to complain that maybe he shouldn't be wasting all the money freeing random slaves, he just wanders off. He's like, oh, sorry, there's a shaft of sunlight over here. I'm gonna stand in that.

I had written, I had written, do you want a genocide? Because this is how you get a genocide by walking away from your wife like that. What are you doing? But yes, I guess God's called him to the light and they try for humor here There's a couple of times when that like this movie is like actually funny once or twice But that's out of like 30 or 40 attempts, right? Yeah, they really bad at bat rate for sure Yeah, you know what I mean? Like the batting average is down. Yeah, it's the movie For sure. You know what I mean? Like the batting average is down. Yeah, it's... the movie understands cartoon plus injury equals funny, but they've got no scale for severity.

Yeah. Right? Like people are just catching their foreskin on a rake and they're like, Huh? You like that? I do kind of like that. No, that was actually pretty good. That was actually alright. But yeah, we have this whole...

They do a who's on first? Yeah, right. Are you who I think you are? Who do you think I am? Who do you think I think you think you thought you think I am? But they but they can't pull it off at all. They pull it off so badly that you can hear the voice actor who plays God not wanting to do the four beat like like Noah pausing while Heath and I do the seventh minute of

a joke that wasn't funny in the first minute Yeah, he's editing in his own head. Yeah It's cutting right after this a hundred percent gets cut Yeah, so God's like Noah you're better than everybody else build an ark and he's like, yeah got it build an ark And he's like two of each animal. He's like we're not gonna do the seven of each clean He's like now fuck no, it's two by two two by two. He says he says it and I want to quote this He says Noah you are a good man But not everyone is like you and I thought to myself aside if you're gonna do an entire worldwide

Interspecies genocide perhaps that sentence should be like no one is like you Close even exactly right it's like you. You know, you're, you're, you're, you're close even. Yeah, exactly. Right. It's like you were committing an interspecies genocide. You're like, yeah, you're all right. You know, you're better than average. He's kind of like some of the other ones. Yeah, it's fine.

Top five. He's got a decent, wordle average over the last 14 days. And then like, we cut back to heaven after this. He's like, so, and he turns to like the Holy Ghost. He's like, so how'd I do? You know, my, do I, do I, do I, do I, did the voice come through?

Did I sound commanding? That felt weird. They talking through my diaphragm? Yeah. So, okay. So then we cut to Noah's family having dinner. And I know we're not trying for historical accuracy, but the first thing we hear is past the potatoes,

which of course was introduced to this part of the country, or part of the world, in the 16th fucking century. I'm gonna fake this. Yeah, it's not great. Not a great look. That's amazing. So funny. It pissed me off so much. And then there is a very, a big nod to Close Encounters, the third kind, with the potatoes.

That's why they went potatoes. Yeah, they went potatoes because he's sculpting an image of his arc in the potatoes like the guy The Mesa or whatever. Yeah, and so and then well now you've ruined close encounters of the third kind Jesus well, I sorry I spoiled that 40 year old movie for people Now what are they gonna do Rosebud is the sled? You're gonna tell them Luke Skywalker's dad's name next. Do you mean Anakin Skywalker? Yes, that's what I mean. Anakin Skywalker is all I mean. Thank you.

All right. So but then there's also this weird moment while they're sitting around where the sons are like, hey, mom, did dad tell you there's going to be a worldwide flood and everybody's going to die? And mom's really nonchalant. She's like, hey, mom, did dad tell you there's gonna be a world wide flood and everybody's gonna die? And mom's really nonchalant. She's like, oh, I guess we're gonna die, pass the spinach. Yeah. She totally does. Mommy is way too cool with dying, can I say? Very Eli attitude with it.

Yeah. Shem at one point goes, no mom, everybody except us will die. And her actual line is, well finally, some good news. Whoa. Let me, can I tell you what it is? Sometimes we'll go to atheist conventions. Truly.

Sometimes we'll go to atheist conventions and I'll talk to a person who's actually had hardship in their life. That's what this conversation is. Right. His life is just being like, well, you know, my husband got struck by lightning again. And I'm like, ah, Jesus. Yikes. So Noah finishes his potato sculpture, then he goes down,

he starts cutting down trees to make his his arc. And Lucinda goes, hey, can I help? And he goes, yeah, can you grab me two of every animal? She starts looking in his toolbox, which one? Animals or Imperial? So, yeah, so then we cut the fucking waddo it is the tenor. Yes, they're planning the the summer home that Noah's dead is going to buy them. Yeah, I guess he's just sorry.

I guess what we've learned now is that he has traded his house to them for a bunch of pigeons. For pigeons. Yes. Yeah. Cause he's going to, he's going to put a note on the pigeon saying, Hey animals all come to my arc two by two. And he needed a lot of pigeons to make sure all the animals got one.

Right. Obviously. Yeah. I like that God is so hard up for picking a single person. He has to pick a guy who's willing to commit like real estate fraud in a flood zone. That's the best guy on earth is we have that guy who's not willing to put the disclosures in on his sale agreement. Seems really close with his daughters.

I like him. Private party. So Senora Petz, she chives in and she's mad at him not just for trading away the house but for not asking God for some good miracle shit when she had him on the phone. Right. Yeah. Which to be fair is a valid point that no one brings up which is that God does tell Noah, I'm going to drown the world, and Noah doesn't say... Don't do that.

Maybe don't. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you still open to notes?

Yeah, there's never any back and forth. She's like, oh, okay, cool. I guess I'll chop down this tree. I'll get to work right away, God. No worries. Well, right, but she's not like, well, why didn't you try talking about it? She's like well why didn't he get me a nice pair of earrings or something while he was there?

Yeah, she does seem to think that he really wasted the opportunity for bed bath and beyond gift cards Not even a scented candle is right Clearance this week ridiculous so okay So we pan up to heaven where God is now complaining to the Holy Ghost that Buddha has a better book than him. Yeah. And I wrote my notes. I mean, yeah. Yeah, we have this like sort of wacky like the Holy Ghost is, you know, they're arguing about how to start the Bible kind of a thing. Again, like with American evangelicals shrieking and

running to the TV to turn it off, diving between their kids in this movie. Oh, God, I can only imagine. I used to work with this dude who was like really evangelical. And I remember I was sitting, this was back when I was working in a warehouse and I had one of these holy books because at the time I was sort of seeking, I didn't, I had just lost religion and I was looking at, I think I forget what it was. It was a Buddhist book, it might have been a Hindu book, I don't remember what I was reading.

And him, he asked what it was and I told him and he said, that's the devil. And I said, what are you talking about? He said, anything that ain't Jesus Christ is the devil. And this is the guy, this is the guy who loaned me Highlander 2 the previous week. So, so, and what I hope is that the Evangelist watching this movie, he's going to be like, is the guy who loaned me Highlander to the previous movie. So beautiful. So, and what I hope is that the Evangelist watching this movie were a little uncomfortable at that point and they were like, all right, well, let's, let's see how this plays out. Because the very next scene is all the pigeons that Noah released going to a fucking pigeon

strip club. Yeah. And, and by the way, we're not being like, it's kind of fucking pigeon strip club. Yeah. And by the way, we're not being like, it's kind of like a strip club. No. It is a, we watch a pigeon take off things covering non-breasts. Yep, we watch the pigeon take off her coconut bra.

Coconut bra, yeah. So that we are supposed to understand, this is like, this is an over 21 you're seeing pigeon flap at this club all up in that cloaca yeah we all got cloacas though I don't understand forget it it's a real hole in the wall yeah at least you tried. So, but there's one pigeon. Thank you. There's one pigeon that's like, but what if the notes are real and there really

is a worldwide flood coming, listen to that thunder and another pigeon goes, I got your thunder right here and parts at him. Yup. It's a hundred percent every single long road trip I've done with another guy. Every single one. Correct. Yeah. So I, like, this is where I first, I started to write in all caps in my notes, who is this

for though? Right. Exactly. I think every story of World by Genocide needs a little scatological humor, guys. I think you guys are being a little too hard on this one right now. No, it was for me. That was my ultimate answer, Cecil. Who is it for?

It's like, it's relief for us. We've been doing this for so long. We need some fart now and again. One pigeon accidentally shits himself during the farts. He tries to redo the bit and shits his pants. Yes. But isn't that what pigeons do? I mean like, what is the... Shit their pants?

Well they don't have pants, so they just shit everywhere. So they just like, they don't discriminate. So they just go when they go and I figured he runs off and I'm like, where are you running off to? Is there a statue somewhere you have to sit on to do this? What is happening? So, yeah, but the good pigeon is going to take the pamphlets himself, dammit. So he flies out to the to the jungle. But of course, he has a numerous series of mishaps and Rube Goldberg's his way up a elephant's ass again.

Totally. He does. Yeah. And then he gets shot out. Cannonball Run style. Yep. Right after that. Yep. And then we cut to a lion getting a massage from a gay monkey. Right?

I like, you just gotta back me up here guys. I sometimes I just need you to say yeah. Oh, I wish I had called Cecil ahead of time and been like, okay Cecil, here's the game plan for the podcast. We don't see that the monkey's gay. Okay, so that's the one. No matter what Noah says. And he's gonna get loud.

I need you to know he's gonna, he's going to raise his voice at us and we need to be ready. He's gonna be mad. That is the gayest monkey they could have. They did a very good job of of caricaturing that monkey as gay. I was wondering, when they do the happy ending, hands are prehensile feet. What do you think?

Or prehensile tail. Yeah, sure. You know what? No, I didn't think of the tail until you mentioned it. Actually, I think this is an ape and therefore wouldn't have a prehensile tail. But yeah, since we said monkey already. That's the part of it that doesn't make sense. No, exactly. Other than that. We've we've sussed out the one piece.

Yeah. Oh, speaking of the fucking biology making no sense, because then we cut to like so the pigeon is just about to fly in and give a pamphlet to the fucking gay monkey masseuse. But he closes the window and the pigeon slams against it. And so he's laying there all crumbled when this bipedal lioness walks by and she's like, Oh, I wonder if he's carrying any important pamphlets. Right. Yep.

So she reads the letter. She's like, Oh, I better take this to the king. Can we cut back to the monkey sex worker? And the lion prince is a thing I wrote in my notes today. See, so Jesus, it's a weird fucking, weird fucking job I got, man. Weird week. So.

Weird week. So, but the lion prince though, this is very important. He gets the right half of the pamphlet. And it sort of got this mad fold in thing where what he sees is that this is a invitation for animals to come aboard a fuck cruise. It's 100% what he thinks it's gonna be. He thinks it's a fuck cruise. Yeah it's a very very very cheap Carnival cruise on clearance. Yeah.

Exactly. Right yeah that's what he's expecting. AKA a Carnival cruise. No one has ever been like my first choice for cruise ship carnival. Why? I'm a big fan of stomach flus. I love rotavirus. It's amazing. Yeah, but so okay. So now the lion king has learned about the coming flood.

He's like, oh wow, we have to send two lions and his son comes in. He goes, I want to go, I want to go on the boat. He goes, okay, well there's one. I feel like it would I want to go on the boat. And he goes, OK, well, there's one. I feel like it wouldn't be hard to find volunteers. They act like, oh, wow, he's so responsible volunteering to be the only one of us that doesn't die. But also, doesn't he audition by giving a series of hip thrusts to say he wants to like go on this cruise?

And he's like humping the air at this point. You feel like it should have keyed dad in that maybe he didn't understand what was happening. I feel like if you're doing an Armageddon and someone's air humping to show their readiness for it, they're either not mentally stable enough for the Armageddon situation or their heads not in the game. You know what I'm saying? No, that's fair. That's fair. So we cut to Noah working on his arc and Lucinda comes out to tell him that he's working too much and he needs to take more time for himself.

And I'm like, I'm going to have a heart attack. Damn it. Yeah. I, I ain't making it to 700. I'll tell you that shit. So but then the lion king now is requested a meeting with all the animals. So we cut to a couple of Jewish polar bears complaining about being in a jungle. And again I wish I had called Cecil ahead of time to say we hadn't seen that.

They're not Jewish. Whatever you say they're not Jewish. These polar bears are real. This movie contains the tenardiers and I was like no those are the Jews. Those are the Jews. Okay and here's how you know those are the Jews. The polar bears are having, Noah, back me up You know this to be true. The polar bears are are having the exact conversation Noah overheard two people leaving my wedding having It was so hot in there I was gonna die Never again in my life such a shudder.

I'm a polar bear. It really is, man. It's an old Jewish couple arguing about the thermostat, man. It totally was. And the guy polar being on, I should never listen to you again when you told me to go somewhere. When you say. Oh my god. So yeah, and then we cut to the lion queen buttering her husband up for some oral... I don't know. There's a lot of like, but you're the very best that goes on here.

Yeah. Like, this is where my furry jokes felt weird. Yeah! Right? Because this is where I was like, well yeah, one of the lions is doing oral sex on the other lion. Like, I'm not bringing... I'm not bringing anything to this party by being like, it's like they're f— no, they're fucking. I'm watching them. No, it's just straight up, the pigeon takes off its bra, you know? Right, yeah. If I jump on Tumblr and look up some furry porn and I'm like the animals are that's just I was trying to come up with anti jokes about what they could be doing that isn't cunnilingus in this moment, right?

She lost an M&M. He's trying to find it Nothing's coming to me. Yeah lost an M&M, he's trying to find it. Nothing's coming to me. Dad? Then you're doing it wrong. Cecil gets it. So then we cut to zero. He's getting ready for his fuck cruise.

And I guess the gay monkey, Missus, is always also bringing his partner. Right? Yeah, we get to meet the gay monkey partner. You're right. Yeah. One of the Beatles, I think. And like all gay best friends,

she is a butch soft-spoken lesbian. So, you know, it's all coming together, is what I'm saying. Okay, and then we cut to the meeting of the animals, and I love this scene so much because we've seen this before, but never on this grand a scale, where like, you can tell from the front of the crowd

or the back of the crowd when the artists were like, oh, fuck this. Oh, man. That's so many animals. That's a lot of fucking Jesus. Put some stick figures in there. Yeah, right. Right.

Come on. Get Donald Trump the AI and some more of them in the back or something. So, yeah, so the Lion King is like, all right, good news, bad news. Everyone's going to die except y'all. Yeah, people in this room. Right. Everyone cheer now. Yeah.

And then, OK, so this is actually pretty good. There's a unicorn that's like, this is bullshit. I like this. Right. And the dragon is like, yeah, this is bullshit. We don't believe you. What was the other thing? I don't know.

There was a thing. Was it Ludo from Labyrinth? Maybe that was like a... Because it looked like Ludo from Labyrinth. I don't know. There was a thing. Was it Ludo from labyrinth? Maybe that was a little from labyrinth. I don't know what it was. I couldn't figure it out I was thinking maybe there was like a Spanish yeti or something that we were you know what it's probably cultural You're probably thinking a bobbinable snowman. That's where my head was. All right. Yeah, so yeah So also did some of the animals had coins pressed into their chests? Did anyone else notice that and And does anyone know why? She gave the polar bear one too.

Yeah, it's a badge. Yeah, it's a badge, I guess. She gives them a badge at the beginning. Oh, I see. OK, all right. But they definitely stuck to the badges way longer than I, the movie watcher, fucking remembered that. So I was like, why are some of them tagged? Yeah. Is this like a wilderness thing? Right. But then there's there's suddenly there's a burst of thunder and everybody goes to the ark. And I'm like, you know, I bet Noah had to do like every time it's sprinkled for

the days leading up to that, everybody is all the animals keep showing up. To the ark. No, stop. I'll tell you guys. Calm down. Settle down. So, but on this way out, the lion king is stopped by the tiger king. It's not that tiger king.

Sorry. A tiger who is a king. The Lion King is stopped by the Tiger King. As fuck, not that Tiger King, sorry. Different Tiger King. A tiger who is a king. And he's like, hey, so who's going to lead this animal? Obviously, you're too old to go. You're going to die. So who's leading this expedition? I hope it's not your shit son, huh? Yeah, the tiger is definitely going to kill the kid and

there it's he's literally explaining his plan To the parents and like well, we certainly shouldn't mention that to him. Anyway, let's get that blowy going What do you say? Yeah, we'll go by in this curtain We're gonna die in a couple hours anyway, so might as well. Yeah, the tiger's like oh your son is leading it Well, I sure hope nobody has to overthrow him and destroy your dynasty kill Kill him and disembowel him and then eat what's in there. I sure hope that doesn't happen. But Zuck. I would never murder your son. What?

Nothing. I was just talking about what I would never do. I just thought you might like to know that. All right. Well, it looks like we have ourselves a villain other than the guy who's going to murder all the puppies on a whim. So we're going to pause for a quick break, but we'll be back in a minute with even more of Noah's Ark 2007 all right so the next ad is for Raycons right oh we're not doing that one not I

thought you guys loved your Raycons oh we do when Raycons became a sponsor they sent us a set to try and we loved them so much our wives stole them. The ultimate compliment. So then, why aren't you doing the ad? Because, Cecil, they just launched their upgraded model of their best-selling everyday earbuds. Upgraded? With Raycons upgraded everyday earbuds, you can also get active noise cancellation, ergonomic design, and multipoint connectivity that lets you pair with two devices at once. Yeah, and they're available in a variety of vibrant new colors to complement any and all skin tones.

I don't understand why you wouldn't want to just advertise those. Those really sound pretty great. Because Cecil, Raycon sent us pairs to try, and if we talk about it on the show, our wives will strike again. Yep. Like hawks from the sky. I see. But couldn't you just, uh, buy some?

Of course, Cecil. Why, we could just go to buyraycon.com slash gam today and get 15% off our Raycon order plus free shipping. That's right. We'd get 15% off and free shipping at buyraycon.com slash gam. That's buyraycon.com slash gam. That's buyraycon.com slash gam. All right. Well, good luck hiding your, uh, your earbuds. Shhh, not so loud.

Like hawks. Cecil. Hawks! Hey, Chris, Dave, you guys got a second? Sure. Sure, boss. What's up? I was just looking at the asset folder and I see these... Winking donkey files. What are these? Oh, yeah. So that's just a little joke we're putting in the movie. We were thinking, like, in the background of one of the scenes,

another animal is coming out of the donkey's room. And he's sort of like, uh-huh? Uh-huh? Oh. Um, okay, sure. I mean, I guess that's a funny bit to put in the movie once. Like an Easter egg for adults then? Right. Well, yeah, but we put it in more than once.

So. Really? The same joke? Um, yeah. I mean, okay, but it's a callback then, I guess? Yeah, yeah, it's like, well, it's a couple of callbacks, yeah. Hey guys, how many times did you put the donkey fucking another animal as a joke into our children's movie? Eleven. Yep.

You guys know that's way too many, right? Yeah, say it is too many. When you say it out loud, I now recognize that, yes. And we're back for more of this shit. We're going to rejoin the action with Noah working on his boat some more. They actually used the same exact hammering nails into the boat shots. They did. They used the same shot. Hey, animation costs money, come on.

They had a choice between really viscerally scooping shit down an elevator shaft in 30 minutes. You gotta do it. Or, you know, a second hammer nails. No, you're right, you're right. They made the right decision. Priorities, exactly. A nice walk away shot of one of these cans on this gun, one of these girls or... Right, right. ...hammering of nails.

So, exactly. One of these girl lions, yeah. One of the felines. So... Fee lions? What? Huh? Fee lions.

Oh, because like females and felines. Yep. Okay, yeah. No, all right. We're there. That joke's okay, but I'm still trying to iron it out. I don't know why I'm doing it this week. I'm not good I'm gonna stop. I don't even know what that one. I don't know what happened. I miss Heath

Roll right in that in our notes right now So but yeah, but so Lucinda's like hey, what are you what are you your kids working on and he goes? Oh, you know, they're probably messing with the sailing charts. And I'm like, did you, because you're going to sail your arc. Is that what you're going to do? Also, isn't it all water at that? Right. Where would you go? Where are you going to go? That map is going to be pretty goddamn basic.

It's pretty easy. It's all blue, dad. It's all blue. There's one part that says there be monsters here. We'll go away from that, OK? Right. Well, and also, and God told them just steer towards the sunset. So that's going to come up later when they wind up in the South fucking pole. It does. Just going to point that out now. OK. But then he cuts over to the kids.

They're not working on sailing charts. They're looking at old folks homes to put their dad in, you know, because he's lost his mind. That's kind of dark for a kids movie. Honestly, yeah. It's a little dark. I also I love that that is one of the things that is cut from the DVD. I was fascinated by the like, what did they fucking cut from this monstrosity? And one of them is when the brothers are looking at old folks homes.

That's amazing. Like they thought that was a little much for the US release of the DVD Yeah, I mean like genocide is impersonal and putting your dad is a home is very personal So I think they just don't want to give their kids any ideas, you know Look, I'm about to tell this kid about the Trinity. Let's not let him know There's a place to put insane people that he... Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. So, okay.

So then we cut to the Royal Lion family and Dad's getting onto Zero for sucking, right? And Zero is upset because he's got to take another lion with him, but all of his suggested companions have been rejected for... See, so what were they rejected for? Big boobs! What? Yep. That's literally what the movie says. He's like,

who's they rejected? Her for being too dumb and too busty. They rejected her for having too big of boobs and for being too dumb. Too thick. She had two C's, that bitch. But it turns out that Kyrell, who was the bipedal lioness that we met earlier who found the pigeon, she's the one vetting all of his potential companions and she has a little crush on the lion prince herself. Yeah. So.

She's signing everybody off and basically saying, no, no, no, no, no. This one's all mine. This eyeliner wearing lion is all mine. Yeah. And at this point I was like huh Interesting direction to take the Noah's Ark story. Sure. Children's cartoon. Yep. No, this is I wrote my notes here Justus. This is a weird cartoon guys. The Spanish are weird. You know they like they jump over babies as part of a celebration So like yeah, that's we should expect this out of their cartoons. I'm just picturing the writers room right where they're all sitting around and they're

like, okay Noah's arc story. So he is building the arc. Do you think that lions dealt with a lot of sexual jealousy? Absolutely. I'm glad you said it. Put it in the script. Let's show it to children under the age of 10. Zero the lion prince, he says,

Hey, you know what? Fuck all of this. I'm taking big boobed bruma as my mate. Taking them titties with me! And we're all going like, Wait, so are they actually going to draw a lion with big tits? Because we have no idea what we're in for yet. Right.

If only we'd known just what they were willing to draw. Still really close to the beginning of the movie at this point. We hadn't seen anything yet and really shocked for the rest of the movie. Okay. So then we check in on the Tenardies who are apparently they they're checking out all of the new house that they bought, you know, from Noah. And then we have to cut over to the animal procession This is the part Eli has been talking about a couple of times up here They're in the palanquin and we can just see the silhouette of them. He's clearly going down on her. Right?

Here's my challenge to you podcast listener. What the fuck are they doing if not cunnilingus? Yes in this children's cartoon I mean, you know, like again, maybe we're just prudes because we're American and they're like, no, in fucking Spain all the cartoons they fucked each other. What do you do when your lady is bored during a drive? What happens after the spaghetti scene and your lady in the tram? What? Yes, I do not understand. Stans? What the fuck are you talking about? I am confusing. They're missing out on the best part? They don't even sniff each other's asses? Your animals are bad lovers?

You must know the alphabet. You know what it is? It's that your A doesn't have that little... Doesn't have the N-ye. Yeah, it doesn't have the... And the N-ye does a lot of work, my friend. You got to do the Tilda. Tilda really gets it, my friend. You know how to roll your R's. Stay on that key all day. Tilda will give you a third son. I would tell you that right now. So, yeah, so Kyrell is walking with him and she's getting onto him for not being kingly enough.

So she stops the whole procession and opens up his palanquin where it was, she's like, Oh, I wasn't eating her out. And this is where we discovered that. Yes, they have drawn bruma with giant lion tits and not like six, right? Cause if they were, she had six giant tits, that would have been kind of funny, but no, she's just too big. The other ones are hidden. Yeah. The other ones are hidden.

Yeah. But Kyrell says, Hey, you gotta. The other ones are hidden. Yeah. But Kyrell says, hey, you got to be a fucking king about this, okay? And then we cut to Noah putting the finishing touches on his ark. Everybody's super stoked. We get this downright Ken Hamian explanation of how there's actually plenty of room on this ark for all the species, if you think about it. Look at all these square feet.

Yeah. He says, it has 1,300 double cabins. And I was like, sorry, are we using cruise ship terminology now? How many crew per sail? What variation of Beetle was sitting there going, ah, we should have gone with an outside room. I'm sorry, honey. We must have that much more for a part hall, really.

So, but yeah, no, I will say though, this art because we do a big long zoom around the 3d model of the arc that they, you know, that the majority of this movie's budget went to and way more impressive than Ken Ham's. Yeah. Well, home. Oh, so much more impressive. Really genuinely watertight, for example. Not a lot of flood damage on this one. Yeah, exactly. Right. And well, and as he's explaining all its amenities, he says that it has a service elevator. And I'm like, at first I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Then I'm like, well, OK, all right, this story is not less realistic because of the elevator. Right. Sure. I had the exact same argument with myself where I was like, that's for pot. You know what? You know what? Nope. Can't draw lines there. So, and then Jafet, his oldest son is like, okay, you built the Ark, but the animals aren't

going to come. And the animals are like, we're here. All of us are here. They're right behind me, aren't they? Right, right. And so then we cut over to the animals. So the animals are on the ledge. They're like my cats meeting new people, right? They're not going to come all the way over to the animals. So the animals are on the ledge. They're like my cats meeting new people, right?

They're not going to come all the way down to the ark. You have to look away a little bit. But the prey animals at this point, they're like, hey, once we get on the boat, how do we know that all of these predators aren't going to eat us? And I'm like, that's actually a really good question. Yeah, that's a really good question. We should probably should have raised this earlier before we started our death march to this ship

Right. Yeah, we didn't think about it ahead of time, you know, you sort of slipped of mind, right? But see but the animals are in need of sound leadership and they're just not getting it from this Fucking lethario of a king of theirs, right? Right luckily and and correct me if I'm wrong here luckily No one notices that the animals Seem to be having an argument. Yes, he's going to go to the Ridgeline to coke some in. Shake some treats. Yeah, exactly.

He's got a handful of treats. Rub his hands together. Yeah, right, right. But then Kyrell goes to zero and she opens the palink, but he's mid-cuddlingus again, which go bruma, right? Not a quitter. I like it. Yeah.

Where did we leave off? Right. On the end. Yeah. As it turns out. So yeah, but then so she's like, Hey, she's like, Hey, there's a fight about who gets to eat who. And I'm like, if this is a Cuddlingus reference, that's great.

I don't think that it is. And you're an expert on that. You're mad. Can I feast on? Yeah, exactly. I would like to feast on my big breasted fiance who's in this paligwin. I'm a furry now. So, but Zero...

Yeah, right. This movie does it. I'm not surprised. Welcome. I knew at least one of us was going to get got. But... And really, Eli was already... Yeah, this was the moment I became a furry.

Yeah, right. Everybody, you point to it. You point to already. Yeah, this was the moment. I became a furry Point to it. Oh you got me It was this moment right here so but zero the withers in the face of true leadership and this is when Tiger steps in right the alligator tries to eat the pig and Tigers like I shall be a true leader So, you know the coup is afoot. Yeah. In fact, even zero is like, wow, he seems like a good leader, huh? So he's like, that dude's way better than me. I'm going to go back to eating this.

Yeah, I'm better at that. Yeah. So but then Noah comes and he delivers basically the same speech that the tiger just did. And the I guess, OK, zero goes to answer Noah. He's like, well, hey, thanks. And Kirell stops me and she's like, remember the rule that animals can't talk to people? And I'm like, so Noah doesn't think it's weird as long as you don't get more than three words in.

Yeah, no one's like paying an extra. What the fuck is going on here? Yeah. And then he immediately gains all their trust, like immediately gains all their trust and they start moving. And I thought to myself, I'm like, my cats, I own them, I feed them, I take care of them every day. And when I pull aluminum foil out of the drawer, they will scatter like it's the end of the world.

How did he kill a fly? Yeah, right. Yeah. And so, and God's like, alright, looks like they got that under control. Pull the, you know, destroy the universe cord, and I'm like, well that shouldn't be just out. Maybe put something in front of it.

Right, no, you should have to turn two keys at the same time. A double key system. Exactly. Thank you. Yeah. So, but, oh, and Bruma stops to talk a little shit to Kyrell. She says, you're about to die in the flood. You know why? Because you're fat and you have small tits. Yeah. Totally does, man. She body shaves this other girl really bad.

She really does. And I had a moment where I was like, am I supposed to... I had a weird moment where I was like, is that lion supposed to be fat? And then I was like, I mean, I guess she's sort of like more full in her body. And I was like, now are my beauty standards weird about this lion? I mean, because it's not like I wasn't sexualizing that lion, but now I was sexualizing it in the wrong way. In the wrong way, exactly.

I have good taste in lions, damn it. But what's really happening here, of course, is that we're supposed to hate Bruma because she's going gonna have to die so that Kyrell can be on this arc And we're supposed to be like good. She was a bitch Yeah, yeah, but that also Noah has a weird moment with the injured pigeon Which is he's like oh my pigeon friend and like there's a very like he's gonna fuck that pigeon isn't he kind of a mom? It's like the cartoon I know he's a cartoon. So he's not an actor.

But it's like the actor playing the cartoon of Noah thought the movie was about Noah and his best friend the pigeon. Yes. And so he's just really hitting it home in all of these scenes. And he didn't realize they like majorly cut the pigeon's part. Oh, maybe that's it. Yeah, because it is fucking weird. Like there are like three moments where he has these one-on-ones with the pigeon's part. Oh, maybe that's it. Right. Yeah. Because it is fucking weird. Like there are like three moments where he has these one on ones with the pigeon, where you're like, they're going to fuck at the end of this, aren't they?

He's gonna push his wife overboard. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So then everybody gets on the ark and all the wives start complaining about it, which is amazing, right? Because he just saved them from a worldwide global fucking flood that they would die in. And they're like, oh my god, and he did it in such a tacky way There's all these right here. It would look at this carpet

But I honestly the missus is the is the most biblically accurate part of this fucking movie, right? Yeah Speaking of which the sheep steps on a skunk who urinates on it Yes, and then so I was literally sitting there going like, okay, now we're getting biblical. And they were like skunk peas on someone's chest. And I was like, yeah. Who then flies up an elephant's ass again. And then this all, of course, this Rube Goldberg series of animal mishaps ends with the hippo falling and knocking bruma into the flood and she dies immediately. It's water so she just melts or whatever.

Yeah well you know they're using the Midrash interpretation of the Bible which said that it was actually boiling water that comes from below the earth which is why all the fish died. That makes a lot of Midrash in this movie. Yeah absolutely. So but now Kyrell has to come. Right. Yes, she does. He knows how to do it, don't they? So we cut back to the Tenardias complaining about this incessant rain. And they're like, yeah, you know, why would Noah have sold us this house so cheap unless he was about to move into a giant ark?

And they see the ark and they're like, oh, fuck, we need to get on that. A barrel and a broom maybe we can paddle our way out there in a very Very difficult path to get right right to get to the Ark and then they get what's amazing is They get they paddle out there in a barrel with a broom and they work their way out there And then they get fucking keel hauled Immediately yeah, it's like the way they used to execute prisoners. Like they used to throw them over the front of the boat

and then drag them. They essentially have to go through that in order to get on the boat themselves. I was kind of rooting for the water. Yeah, right. Well, yeah, because that's the thing is that we, of course, we know how the Noah story goes. Everybody fucking dies.

So we're expecting these guys to die and we're watching them get keel-hauled and we're just like, wow, man. Did you, couldn't they just be dragging out the death of these characters. Spoiler alert for those playing along at home. These people will not die. So, oh, yes, they know. Yes, the fuck they will. Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, that's right. They won't die until very, very late. It'll take a while, but yes,

we'll at least imply it. So, yeah, so we have this moment where they're like, oh, we haven't fully untied the boat, cut the ropes. And then they cut the ropes and we're like, okay, what was the point of the scene then? Yeah. Would have been a really weird thing for Noah to build an ark at God's command and then for him to forget to untie it and everybody dies. That you get the parting shot of the unicorn with its two friends sitting on the rock as the water's coming up and being like, I made a terrible decision. I made a really bad choice.

I feel like you guys are mad and we're going to do that thing where you pretend you're not mad. You're going to not talk to me while we're dying. It's going to make me more upset. I would just like you to just like just talk it through and then we can all die together. So, okay. So meanwhile, up in heaven, God's assistant is like, OK, so what will the rest of the movie be about?

Right. We've still got 50 minutes to cover. And God's like, well, now they have to figure out how to live together for this whole flood. It's actually going to largely be about animal sexual politics. It is. And, and learning. Is that cooler? Yeah, right.

Right. So, right. So, okay, so aboard the boat, Kyrell was doing her best to take a leadership role and Zero just keeps undercutting her efforts. Yeah. Very important. Oh, and this is where we're going to introduce the star of the goddamn movie, the donkey with the fuck-me-eyes.

Yes. This is amazing. Okay. So for those of you who are wondering what the interstitial you heard in the second commercial break was about, in the background of this movie, throughout the rest of the movie, there will just be random animals coming out of their rooms, accompanied by a donkey, with the very clear implication that they have just fucked that donkey. Right. Yes. So the first time, he's coming out of the horse's room and you're like, oh, that's a mule joke and everything.

But unless there's also like a donkey duck hybrid and a donkey panther hybrid and a donkey pig hybrid, then that doesn't work. Right. I love that all of us caught it too. Like every single all the time. Every one of us. Yes. Did that donkey just wink at the camera?

What is happening right now? Yeah. So, okay. So then we cut to Zero and Kyrell settling into their room. And here's another one that we all have in our notes. See, so I was blown away by the fact that we all caught this at the same time. We all have some version of, wow, her ass gets bigger in every time and every scene that we see Kyrell in. Yeah.

It's like, man, she got a trunk now. Damn, that's awful. You can watch whoever was drawing her be informed by the rest of the animators that this is a furry thing. Yeah. Right? You could see that that person like went to lunch and was like, um, guys, can I ask you a question?

You're drawing your animals. I hope this isn't insulting. A little sexy. And they were like, oh, yeah. Um, we want people to jerk off onto our animals. That's what we're hoping for. And he was like, oh my God, I've been drawing her ass so small. Let me, let me get out.

Okay. Where are the moms from Pixar? I'm going to get some moms from Pixar pictures going. Yeah, this is what I'm talking about. It'll work. Yeah. So she's like he's like, all right, well, welcome to the F.U.C.C. Cruise. I'm going to go run and hang out with my friends. And she's like, really, is that where you're going?

And he's like, yeah, that's what I'm going to do now. But she has this argument with him. She does this like 16 times in the movie where she tells him that he has to act like a king and he doesn't yet because it's still, you know, act two. They'll have to figure that out yeah. Yeah but this is where she realizes that he's only read one half of the pamphlet and he doesn't know that the whole world has ended but it's like but he watched the flood happen around and killed his girlfriend and his girlfriend died he saw that.

Right and they've been talking about it through the movie. Like we were just like, oh, the fuckers. Yes. Started with heavy rain. So not the greatest. Yeah. But I was going to pick up. But so, OK, we should point out that we we see the Ternardy is climbing their way aboard the ark. They will be climbing this ark for the next 47 minutes of this goddamn movie.

It's a lot of climbing. Always climbing. But then we cut to the animal chuckle hut. Yep. Where the parrot is doing his tight five. He really is. He's trying. Now, let's keep in mind that all of these animals, now we know Zero doesn't know exactly what's going on, but all the other animals do.

They were there for the Lion King's speech. So everybody has lost every friend and family member they've ever had except for their spouse. And they're like, dude, we, we, we need is a comedy club, right? Cause this is weird without a comedy club. You're funny. Liven this up. Come on. Tell a joke. This is like Edinburgh all over. No, they're laughing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess that's true. So and then, okay. And then, in case anybody wasn't clear that this was furry shit, we meet, I'm not making this name up, Panty the Panther.

Sorry, what? The bustiest panther we've seen yet. All tits. All tits this panther. Yep. Hey, podcast listener, if you're doing something where you can't Google Panty the Panther, like at work, don't Google Panty the Panther at work because that's furry porn. You're gonna get put on, you're gonna get on a list.

Oh yeah, absolutely. They're watching. Yeah. Yeah, so she does a song, she singing, I Will Survive, but she's doing it with all these, I'm going to eat the prey animals. Yeah, it's a lot of meat innuendo going on there. A lot of meat eating innuendo.

But then the alligator says to the tiger, he's like, hey, what are we waiting for? Why don't we just eat everybody? We're bigger and stronger. And the tiger lectures him on the importance of maintaining political alliances long enough to do factory farming And and I know that's like super evil and all but that's what we literally do though They're trying to make it like you believe this fucking tiger who would like yeah raise these animals just to slaughter them

Ah fuck I heard it. I got Like wow, he seems he oh shit I see it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'll be in the bathroom with this picture of panties Better but during the Tigers like rant here. We're seeing this like you're seeing his imagination which includes boiling a pig alive Mm-hmm a lot of screaming. Yes. Yeah a lot of screaming and boiling to death in this children's More than you'd expect. Yeah, so yeah, they're all like well zero won't let us get away with that You know, he's a good guy in the movie and and tigers like yeah, let me deal with him So he goes over to schmooze zero and zero's like well, I'm not interested I said I'm hanging out with my friends and he's like really cuz panty the panther is right behind me and he's like

Oh, I'm gonna jerk off on them tits And can I say truly like I love you guys and I adore you so much if panty the panther Was in a social group that I could leave you for there's no medical emergency. I wouldn't exit So 100% drops all his friends for that. The one question I have... 94% of my family members could be dying in one room, and Panty the Panther could be in another.

I'm in Panty the Panther's room. Practicing the tilde. Bus full of children and a bus on a cliff. It's hanging off. Panty the Panther's there. You're walking away from those kids. Oh yeah, absolutely.

We're watching, we're watching those kids go over the cliffside together. Yes. That's what's happening. Does Panty the Panther have a, a pan throw the panther somewhere? Well, okay, so that's what I was wondering. I got, I have that much later in my notes, but yeah, we had to wonder what kind of cuck he is, right? Yes, I, that's what I wanted.

I wanted a scene where they finally get back to her room and her husband just wants to jerk off at the end of the bed. And it's like, that's awesome too. Yes. What I'm saying is I love this movie. I love it a lot. Greatest children movie I've ever seen. Yep.

So, okay. So then we cut to the Tenardias. They climb up into the, I guess, the haunted forest section of the Ark. Correct. This is the snake room. I had kind of forgotten about this. You're right. Yeah, there is like a haunted forest section. Yeah, so I'm like, why aren't the snakes just in with the other animals at the fucking chuckle hut? What did they do? Right. One of them's got to have a tight five. I mean, come on. He's better than that panther.

Yeah, or not the panther. Not better than the panther. Better than theot, though. 100% better than the Parrot. Did you guys feel bad for the Parrot as a comedian? I did. Well, no, because if you had to go after, I wouldn't have. Like, if you had to go after, but opening for Panty, that seems fine. After Edinburgh, I feel bad for no one. It's okay.

So, meanwhile, Zero is boring the table full of bad guys talking about his kingliness. And then Kyrell comes into shit on everybody's party. She wants to know, did they even get the proper permits to open a comedy club on the arc? Where is your zoning paperwork? I need to see it right now. But he has it. Mizzou's monkey is like, actually, I do have the permit. So she's like, oh, well, I guess she never is.

We definitely, yeah, it's fine. It's an amazing amount of leadership, really, that he's taken. He already had zoning permits that he was willing to. She's always complaining about his initiative. He wrote paperwork. I mean, he made paperwork. Exactly. But she takes him aside and she's like, you're not taking this seriously.

Here's the other half of the pamphlet. Again, I'm just cutting to the Spanish writer's room where it's like, so at that point, the lioness who he is not as attracted to as the panther, she lectures him on his overly generous zoning permit. Hey guys, what the fuck happened? Huh? Noah's Ark is still at the top of the whiteboard. Yeah, that we're doing this storyboard on.

I think it might have, as the Americans say, gotten away from us a little bit. Maybe we just take all of these cards down and start to get, no, we're going to keep. Okay. There's just one guy slowly moving Bust panther back to the top on the side. We see you Chris. We got it. You won the argument. I want her in the cage.

Come on. Let's put her in the cage. Very soon. The answer was yes the first time you asked Chris. We all saw the drawings. We all took it to the bathroom. So okay. So then we cut to Lucinda feeding the wives and the wives are complaining because

that's all they ever do. They're complaining about having fish and salad again. God, it's so misogynist and shitty because they're the worst and they keep going back to it. They're like, God, they're the worst. Yeah. Every time that's all we ever see them do is complain. Yeah. So this is also where God realizes that far fan. I don't think we've even given them the name, but the Tenardias that are Farfan and Esther. Yes. Oh yeah. Yeah.

So, but God's like Farfan's on the Ark. Oh no. So, you know, suspense, I guess. That's not part of God's plan, I guess, is what they're establishing there. Yeah. What a weird part of stakes to check in on God. Just like, I don't, I don't like that a couple of Jews survived. I just wanted to chime in. Did I miss one? I don't miss one.

Okay. Right? So yeah, but we cut back to the Tanardias and they've got a plan. They're going to pretend to be beasts of the wild. Luckily, Esther has brought sewing equipment with her. Sure. And fabric. So they're going to sew up disguises and pretend to be animals so they'll fit in.

Yeah. Grass whoppers. Yeah, right. Grass whoppers is what they'll name themselves. So, okay. But Zero is with his boy toy monkey masseuse and he's getting a massage. Can I say something brave? And I don't like to call each other out on the show,

but I feel like there's a lot of mutual respect between Zero and the Monkey, and Boy Toy feels very derivative. I just felt a lot of affection there. No, you're right. You're right. No, it's a layered relationship. You're right. I wrote that note early in the note-taking process, and I probably should have gone back.

You've grown and you've changed. And the relationship grew. No, you're right. Yes. I apologize. It's just not all marriages, Noah. You know? Sometimes there's a male panther jerking off at the foot of your bed, Noah. Exactly.

And that's actually cool and dope. Hey guys, is this a good episode or just a weird one? You ask that a lot. Can I give you that note? I know I'm giving a lot of notes. The answer is yes, Noah. The answer is yes. Yeah.

So, okay. But a duck stops in looking for her husband. That's going to matter. And then we see the ternardies and they're they're dressed up as kangaroo winged pig chimeras. They are dressed up as kangaroo. We get a pin that I mean, you really nailed that. Thank you. Good for you. Thank you. And then so we see them, we cut to the tiger. He's plotting his his coup. And his idea is they're going to frame Zero and make it look like he ate one of the animals. It was ingenious. Ingenious plan.

Yep. And they're like, all we need is an animal to kill. And just then the Tenardiers come in disguised as animals. One of them, I swear to you, the woman in this pair looks like, you know, at the end of the Shining when the furry is getting blood. Yes, the dog blowing the butler. Right? One of them looks like that. And I was like, the whole time I'm creeped out, I'm like, oh, come on now.

Now there's going to be, now in the poop elevator, it's going to be a blood elevator. Now I can't, I can't jerk off to this. God damn it. Well, it's a little harder, but not impossible. Yeah, not impossible. Yeah, but they run away and the bad guys are like, that's OK. We don't need to chase them. We'll get them in Act three. So I guess we're inching ever closer to a conflict or fucking centimedering

whatever they do in Spain. So we're going to pause there. But first, let me give Act three the hard sell. Will anyone ever mourn for the billions of dead beneath them? Will they weep as they peer out over the endless ocean of bloated corpses? Why is this single most violent Bible story also the one most often rendered for children? Find out the answers to something fucking else when we return for the somewhat abiblical conclusion of Noah's Ark 2007. Sorry, I was looking at pictures of Panty the Panty. Yeah, no, I guess

Were you doing something? I was jerking off the end of the bed And that's dope. That's awesome. We're all having a good time So you putting money on the Bears? You gotta put something on the Bears. Oh, of course, of course. Sorry guys, did I just hear you talking about sports betting? I'll have you know that's illegal and those betting websites are super sketchy. Actually Eli, thanks to DraftKings, neither of those things are true.

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That's code GAM for new customers to get $250 in bonus bets when you bet just $5 and get one month of NFL Plus premium on us. Only on DraftKings. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER in New York. Call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY 467369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boothill Casino

and Resort Kansas, 21 plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Boy to New Hampshire, Oregon and Ontario, bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co slash FT Ball. NFL Plus Premium offer available only to new and former NFL Plus subscribers. Additional NFL Plus premium terms at NFL dot com slash terms. All right. So go. Yankees? Wrong sport. Ah, beans. Alright, so gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Yeah, looks like the US DVD release is gonna have a little bit of stuff cut out. Oh man, is it the big pile of human and animal shit that we watch get scooped onto multiple

characters? No. Was it the Panther Burlesque number? No. The very obvious oral sex happening in Shadow at one point in the movie? The multiple references to donkeys fucking all the other animals? No, no it wasn't any of that. Okay, then what did they cut?

Well they didn't like when the hedgehog humps the pineapple. Huh. Yeah. Other than that we're good. Okay then. And we're back for still more of this shit. And we're going to rejoin the action this time on the rooster waking up everybody fucking drive time radio style. Yeah, he's doing a good morning.

Vietnam. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So, but the doc is still devastated because her husband is missing. And of course we all wrote in our notes like, seems weird to mourn one among so many. You know, like, did you guys catch the name of the missing goose duck? No, I didn't. It was Cecilio.

Thank you very much. Oh, no shit. Oh, my goodness. It's all coming together. I was like, oh, I guess I am a duck who's going to get murdered by Cardi B eventually. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That next scene had a lot of, I wish. Yeah. She could murder me if you know what I'm saying. I'd be that panther at the end of her bed. Wet ass panther.

All right. So, but, but upstairs we, we see Signora Petz about to behead the Cecilio. And Noah comes to his rescue, as I would use Cecilio. Oh, but I'll tell you what, you'd be fucked in this instance because somehow, and don't even ask me about the geometry of this, somehow he dives in and his beard gets between the duck And the axe and this bus diverts it so if you're counting on my beard to get you out of that you're fucked All right, I got all you and I both know what we're like. How does this this is not physics? This isn't this neither of us both of us were stuck on this we're like you know It's fine the rest of the story we're okay with but the beard thing

I don't understand it how do you first of all how do you lead with your beard but why would why would it matter got a whip it out right you really got a whip it the whole thing you put it in your mouth and you spit it out as you go even if you did like why would your beard be if there's an axe and a duck that's still not gonna your beard is not gonna help sure doesn't change the situation You guys aren't picturing the whip out and that's that's the right, but okay So that we cut to zero and Cairo tired having this fight on air

So then we got to zero in Cairo holding royal court at the suggestions booth So we get like a montage of animal lobbyists. Yeah. Zoning arguments for one minute. Yeah. And this this felt OK. This may be going to be too niche, but sometimes people will be like, hey, I'm starting a podcast and I'll be like, sure, I'll help you with that. And they're like, we're just going to wing it. And I'm like, that's going to fucking suck.

Just so you know, because you're not Tom and Cecil and you're not as funny as they are. So it's just, it's going to fucking suck. This scene felt like we're just going to wing it with the animal suggestions. You know what I'm saying? Right. There's nothing funny enough to be a joke. Nope. At no point.

There's like, there's so there I like the marijuana legalization badger, but he doesn't have anything except that he's a marijuana legalization badger. Pretty typical marijuana legalization advocate. Actually, yeah, right issue voter. That's for sure. Sure was. Yeah. So, but yeah, we watched that for a while. And basically the point we're making here is zero is pretty bored with all this being the king stuff. They did have... was there a shellless turtle in there? What was the one slug thing? Do we know? I don't know. Yeah, and again like none of these were jokes. He was like, we should motivate small businesses. And everyone was like, because he's small? And he was like, yeah or something. I don't know. Just fucking move on with the movie, man.

Now you need answers. Get the fuck out of here. OK, and this was all right. Again, like this movie has been somewhat a biblical up to this point already. But this is where I realized just how bad it was. This is where they revealed that this idiot fucking movie thinks that the biblical deluge lasted for 40 days, like the flood

lasted for 40 days. The rain lasted for 40 days? Like did the flood last for 40 days? The rain lasted for 40 days, the flood was a year and like 11 days or some shit like that. I didn't know that, thank you. Thank you for alluding, I had no idea. I would if someone would ask me, I'd say 40 days. So thank you.

You aren't making a goddamn movie about it, so I can give you. Yeah, I don't give a shit either. You don't even have this, yeah, you don't even have this religion. I don't have a dog in this house.'t even have it. Yeah, you don't even have this Would have found that out before you do Probably be a major

Maybe maybe I'd have probably been busy So then we cut to a restaurant that Eli would try to take me to the fucking vegetarian animal single of lettuce restaurant. Yes. They're all at a vegetarian restaurant. Keep in mind this is 2007. So this is a very accurate depiction of a vegetarian restaurant. 2007. Oh, a turnip.

Just a picture of a carrot on the wall. I got a flight of cucumbers at the one you took me to. Don't pretend this is like old. It was a delightful flight. It was ridiculous. Wasted. Yeah, and then we cut over to the tenardier, still climbing for some reason. They're fucking disguised as animals.

You think they could just take the fucking elevator now, right? Didn't they kind of look like what you envision when you see two? Angry like Charlie Kirk in a fursuit trying to infiltrate a fur convention To be like where's the litter box at guys? Didn't they seem like that throughout the whole movie? This is Matt Walsh's next movie in progress The sound and the furry. Nice. So yes, I'm the pun guy this week.

It's what I am. That's what I do. Listen, you've been nailing it. Heath is nervous. Listen to this episode. He's right about his job. He'll hear he's going to miss. He's going to miss it.

So but then like the fact that you couldn't follow that up with a pun about Heath is just that's proof that you're no Heath landing. Landing sentences. Not so much this week. Pumps. I'm all over it. So yeah, but Farfan reaches the bridge of the ship climbs all the way up, but then God hits him with a golf ball.

Right. Did you hate to see it? They hate to see it. You made it all the way up and then just... Yeah. And then Panty comes into the suggestion booth area to invite Zero out for some lunch and perhaps a good framing. Okay.

At this point though, I was like, are we going to watch like a full sex scene? Because you didn't know, right? We didn't know you weren't going to do that. Right. Exactly. So when he was like going to go with the panther lady, I was like, look, so far there's been no rules about this. If the rest of this movie is just 60 minutes of hardcore furry porn, I'm not going to have jokes. Right. No, it's going to fuck our show all the way up. Yeah. Now, again, I note in my notes here that there is no male panther.

What is happening? But I did suspect that maybe he has worked his way up to the mules room. Oh, there you go. Now we're seeing like a... Like the mule and him are pulling a train on something. Yes. You know? There you go.

I think Eli was way more excited about that comment than you were, Noah. I'll tell you, we were excited in very different ways. Noah was yes-ending your joke on our podcast. I'm going to jerk off to that. This is definitely the most uncomfortable episode for several of our listeners. I'm gonna go ahead and say that right out of the mouth. So we cut to Panny. She's taken Zero back to his room after lunch and she sure hopes he'll come by her place

for a little fucking later. Right, but again, like it's a children's cartoon. So you're expecting like a, maybe I'll give you a big smooch, and she's just like, you can cum on my face. Yes. And I'm just like, hoo! Oh, Spanish kids. So but Panty walks up and then Kyrell opens the door and throws a bunch of stuff at him

for flirting with Panty instead of being a good king. She's thick, you know, come on, get in there. So why not just do a three? You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah. Honestly, if the movie had resolved that way, it would not be more weird or less biblical than how the movie actually resolves.

Also, like it's a lion. Like having multiple mates is sort of the kind of standard thing for a dude lion. Isn't it? Yeah. So yeah. Right. So okay. So we cut to the tenardiest. They're sneaking into the vegan cafe and they've got a new plan.

It's to hide in the garbage and wait until they're hauled up. I... Okay. To the deck. Sure. Yeah. Okay. All right.

I'll allow it. What they're after. I feel like they could have just climbed the way they just climbed and hope God didn't hit them with a golf ball again. Just dodge. Now you know it's coming. Just move your head. Yeah. Yeah. So they walk in and Farfan is like, oh, hey, we should hide in this soup cauldron. That's probably where they put the trash. And they're like, well, she's like, well, obviously that's where they would put the trash. So they hide in the soup cauldron. Yeah. I mean, don't you put hot coals underneath your cast iron cauldron?

Yeah. Where you throw your garbage? Your cast iron trash can? Yeah, of course. Right, right. Yeah. So yeah, so they climb in there and wouldn't you know it, it's a soup cauldron. So Zoe puts a lid on it and boils them alive. Right.

But this luckily is cartoony. This is the one time they do like a Moment because I really did think we were just gonna watch their flesh Slopping off from within this bucket. There's a pig screaming next to them But everybody has plenty of them soup before we have that moment right that's important Everybody has a bowl of them soup and then they scream and run out of the thing and everybody's like, oh gross Now keep in mind, of course The plot of this movie is that like most of the animals are trying to eat other animals or whatever But all of them are like, oh gross. There were people in our soup

Yeah, well not only I mean spoilers for later in the movie slash this fever dream. We're all experiencing together But apparently Tenardier soup also gave them all diarrhea? Yeah, it gave them all, that definitely had some sort of foodborne illness. Yes, they're all gonna have the shits from this point on, and that will be. Which is very, very, very common on a cruise ship.

Oh yeah. So I mean, it definitely tracks. Yep, it's scientifically accurate, this movie. So then, okay, we cut to Zero being as bored by the plot of this movie as we are. Keep in mind that we just had to stop this thing cold to explain to everybody that their diarrhea is going to be a major plot point. Right? So at that point, Zero's like, oh, this is boring as shit. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not happy either. At that point, Zero's like, oh, this is boring as shit. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not happy. Cutting back to the writer's room.

Okay. So we have two sexy lions and now everyone has diarrhea. Are you sure you don't want to just start over? I know we lost the day and no one wants to lose the day. But I have the word diarrhea written on the children's cartoon plot storyboard behind me seven times. Oh man. Chase, oh we're keeping it, okay.

Okay, all right. So yeah, so he's with his gay monkey lover and he's like, you know, I can't tell. Sometimes I think that Kyrell is the love interest but then it only turns out to be act one or two but now it's act three. because they've established at no point any reason for him to be attracted to Kyrell. This comes out of nowhere.

He's like, well, you know, she's the I mean, you know, she's the last living female of his species. So there's that. But other than that. But also he wants to fuck panties. So he's he's trying to figure that out. And then the lady monkey comes in and she's like, I have to take a massive shit. Really does. He totally does.

She's like, she's, you know, there's, there's two other monkeys, one holding their mouth, one holding their ears and she's just holding her tummy. Shit, no evil. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. So she goes out to take a shit, but everybody's lining up to take a shit. Shit no evil. Yeah. Yeah. There you go.

So she goes out to take a shit, but everybody's lining up to take a shit. Everybody has to take a shit. And now the bathroom is out of order. And they have these adorable little raccoons are the poop smiths on this boat. Yeah. The ones who are moving stuff around. And I thought it would have been better with dung beetles, but I'll allow raccoons. Okay.

I'll allow raccoons for the trash is good stuff. That's pretty soft It also weird that they got on and they were like, oh we um We're the shit guys. Huh? Wow. Does everyone know just us? Okay, your job is to to open for the sex panther and I'll clean up shit and then I'll But now that's an arduous though they have fallen after they escaped from the soup they fell right into the Poop shaft and again. I have to be very clear like because this is not like a hear a fart noise Assume it's there. We like watch the corn lined walls Streaked with human feasts We watched as their open mouths filled with wet hot diet.

Like the amount of like visceral disgust Oh my God. this children's cartoon has filled us with at this point. The only thing in this movie that is rendered with more detail and love than this pile of shit is the arc itself. Yeah, and panther titties. Those are the Ark itself. Yeah, and and panther titties. Those are the only things.

Absolutely, those are the only things. But as a young man who was sort of coming of age during Ren and Stimpy, this really brought me back. This was one of those moments where you're like, this is so Ren and Stimpy-esque, where there is a giant pile of shit, and it's got fucking pubic hairs hanging out of it. Like Eli said, there's like half chewed tomatoes and corn,

and you're like, oh, this is really fucking foul. But it is something I've always been curious about in Ozark, so I do appreciate it. I appreciate the attention to detail. What happened when they got the inevitable cruise diary? Yes. I appreciate the attention to detail. What happened when they got the inevitable cruise diary? Yes. Yeah. So, yeah, so now the Tenardis are getting hauled up.

So their plan worked, right? They're getting hauled up in the giant pile of shit that they're in to the top, to the deck, so that they can be swept off the side into the ocean. Feels like if you're going to make a whole complex pulley system for your elevator, can't you just have something that just lifts it up at the end and slides it? Why do you have to shovel it?

It could be the edge. Yeah, right. Yeah. And then you just have to, but they have to shovel it out of there and then they find the two furry imposters and then they have to flee again. Yeah. Well, Senora Pets wants to eat them. Oh, that's right.

Yeah. She just found them in the shit. She just found them in a giant pile of shit and she's like, yum! Feels very Cardi B-esque, but go ahead. Yeah, sure. Okay, sure. But then they run on... You didn't watch that episode of Hot Wings, though.

It was insane. I think about it every day. I get it. They eat this ass like soup. So yeah, but then the Tenardias, they run around a little bit, they fall back into the poop shaft, but this time, Noah also falls in run around a little bit, they fall back into the poop shaft, but this time Noah also falls in in a very like fly you fools kind of a moment. Yeah, it's what's weird is that like the cartoon stakes of this moment of falling into the

ship we just saw because the Tenardias fell into the shit, but they play this beat like maybe it's how Noah of Noah's Ark dies. Yes. Maybe it's how Noah of Noah's Ark dies? Yes! Like in their version it was like, and then Noah fell to his terrible death in a big vat of shit. So yeah, so Japheth is like, oh, I'll go down the shit elevator to rescue dad.

But as he's going down, he hears a hippo trying to take a massive shit, and he turns around. He's like, Nope, there's no hope for dad. Everybody's dead down there. No way to get down there. He gives up. They added that the son of Noah gives up on his father because he hears a hippo taking a shit.

Yes. Like at a certain look, I have no love for the Bible. I think we've made that clear, but at a certain point even I was like, come on, respect the source material. Yeah, but he comes back, he comes back up the shit elevator and he's like, no, the animals down there sound way too constipated. There's nothing we can do. Dad's gone. And all of the kids are like, all right, I get to drive the boat. They immediately banned and dad's like, fuck that guy. Boat time.

So I'm doing wheelies. But then Lucinda and the pigeon look over the shit tunnel and go, oh man, I'm really sorry to miss him. And the pigeon's like, I'm going in and he dies. But he falls too. Now the fucking pigeon can fly. OK, the pigeon very selectively flies through this movie. We saw this earlier too, like at one point he like get caught on something and he's falling and he does like an ah and I'm like you're a bird,

you're actually a bird. So thank you, I'm glad that this was consistent at least. There's a lot of the movie where the pigeon is sort of, there's little jokes and one of the jokes earlier is where there's he's trying to feed a Spoonful of grain to the pigeon he's fattened the pigeon up because I think he realizes he's got the pigeon fly to land later on That's the that's the conceit. So I think we're supposed to believe that the pigeon has gotten too portly to fly Oh, I see. I think that's the that's a lot of fat shaming in this movie. I feel like that was on the board.

I really didn't move to the top. Very progressive. Very progressive in a lot of ways. You got cuck panthers. Exactly, right? Yeah, there's a lot of throuples going on. But in other ways, yeah. Marriages of convenience between baboons and their lesbian lovers.

So the baboon could get healthcare. Yeah, bro. So, but we cut to Kyrell giving everybody Pepto, right? And then we go over to Zero who's decided that he loves Kyrell. He just needs to go and break up with Panty and then he can tell, he can confess his love to the last living lion. Yes. So that we, with that going on, we check in on Noah. He's fine. The Tenardiers broke his fall. He check in on Noah. He's fine.

The Tenardiers broke his fall. He just fell on them. Yeah. And he's like, oh, you're the fire fan and Esther. What are you doing on the boat? And they're like, we snuck out of the boat. And he's like, well, if you just ask, can I come on your boat?

I would've said yes. Yeah, I begged everyone to come on my boat. And they're like, oh, really? I begged them, I bonked you on the head. Thank you. We're doing comic misadventure. Yeah, they knock him out because they're like oh really a big bong you on the head thank you we're doing yeah comic misadventure yeah they knock him out because they're the bad guys and then they climb out of the the pit they're in and to make sure that he can't get out they kick the ladder that they climbed in down to him right he like he kicks the ladder away he's like now you won't be able to get

away and he's like the ladders he's got it though you pull kicks the ladder away. He's like, now you won't be able to get away. It's like the ladders. He's got it. Now you pull up the ladder. That's a phrase in everything. Oh, shit, I lost my keys down there. Where you are? You know what? But yeah, but Noah's knocked out now. And so Farfan walks out and he's talking shit now up till now.

They've been terrified every time they see an animal, him and his wife. But now he's talking shit. He's like, oh, these animals, I would whip all of their asses. I don't care about any of them. And then he comes across the tiger and it's like, oh, you know, now now the tiger is going to get him, I guess. Tiger gets a strip of cloth out of him and then hoffs it for a second. Yeah. Which is a little weird.

Hoffs his pants because he's wearingies. Which is a little weird. Hoff's panties. Because he's wearing like a diaper throughout the whole movie. Yep. And as one of them starts, the little one starts to run away, the tiger swipes at him, grabs his panties, and then gives him a nice good huff like he got him out of a vending machine in Japan, and then they move on with the plot. Yeah. Right.

But it's critical because he's going to need that chunk of his panties later. Right. At this point, there were no kinks outlawed in this children's movie. Right. Right, because here's the thing. When the guy drawing the tiger was like, I'd like to draw him sniffing the underwear of the villain. You can't be like, no, that's inappropriate. Right, not at this point. No. You're blackout drunk if you're in charge of that writers room and you're

just yet you've got one of those staples that was easy button and you're just slapping it every time someone asks the question. You're just hitting it with the back of your bottle. Absolutely. So okay. So meanwhile, we cut to the sons now, as far as we know, their dad is laying at the bottom of this elevator shaft with a broken spine being eaten alive by ravenous predators or something, right? But they're still fighting over who gets to steer the boat.

And Lucinda comes in to give them all a bunch of shit about that. And as she's doing that, they break the tiller. Can't steer the boat anymore. Okay, come on. Just go get a fucking vice grip and put it on there. You'll be fine. That's how I steered my first car for four years. Same.

Yeah. So, okay. So, but, but meanwhile, Zero goes to Patty's room to have the talk. We also, we, we cut over to God telling the scribe not to make the Bible too fucky. Now we- We do?

Yeah, you're right. Yeah, this is the conscious of the guy doing the vision board on this thing, right? Yeah're right. Yeah. This is the conscious of the guy doing the vision board. Yeah, right. Right. This is the conscience of him. Well, this thing is that we've, we've like, we've skipped over a bunch of these like cut back to God and his scribe moments throughout the movie because they're not relevant to the plot. There's just too damn many of them. But like, we have to talk about this one because at this point, God says, well, you know, my book has to be suitable for all the H's. And I'm like, all right, how many pages you think that he got into the Bible before they

stopped reading? Yeah, you didn't read this, did you? They got three pages and they're like, well, I think that's all they say about the arc. That's why the donkey's in it. Yeah. Because of the emissions of donkey's. Okay, I get it now. It's all coming together.

I get it. All came together. Oh, okay. Yeah. You know, they know their Bible, I guess. They know. They just forgot how long the flood is. They know some parts of it really well. They know the omissions of donkey sparts.

Yeah. That and Song of Solomon, they know that bet. Don't worry, guys. I got it. This book, 99% donkey cum. That is what I promise you as a friend and as a brother. So then we cut to Panty. She's running from the room and she's like, Zero's a murderer. He just ate an animal.

And as he's running after her, they dump some like tomato sauce on it to make on him to make him look like he's bloodied. Yeah. And then she runs over to it and grabs him and then displaces her enormous breasts like three times while they're doing it. Like that guy who wrote that, who was drawing, he really drew that out, didn't he? He really takes his time drawing that out. He sure did, baby. He stayed late every night at work. Guys, I'm going to draw a little more panty stuff. I don't think it's ready yet.

She just rubs the tomato sauce all over her tits. It could not be more clearly just rubs it on her tits. And then she screams. The wolf gives him the the panties that the tiger was huffing. They gave him to zero and says, hey, why don't you wipe the blood off with these? And so now he's holding what looks like a piece of an animal that's all covered in blood. So so they make their accusation and all the other animals believe him because they're like, yeah, he was a fuck one. Me, nobody liked him anyway.

Terrible zoning officer like the worst. Yeah, exactly. You would just permit anything. So but yeah, so then the tiger has the alligator and the wolf drag him away and throw him in prison, which apparently, I guess, as Noah was building this thing, he built a an animal prison to throw them in. It is a carnival cruise ship. And they do have bricks. No, that's true.

Yep. Yep. So sorry, everybody. I just want to touch on this real quick. So now the king, he is thrown into the brig that exists in the only animal section of Noah's Ark. Okay, you're all nodding along like I'm not saying the craziest fucking sentence I've ever said in my life.

You know what? I'm gonna go out, I'm going to find heroin, and I will be back when it is in my bloodstream. So, but as they all walk away, the panda and the mole who have been such minor characters that we haven't even brought them up, lick the blood and they're like, that's tomato sauce. Or they were hungry for some blood. But no, but they're like, oh, we're onto them. This is just tomato sauce.

All right. Now we cut to Noah's son wondering how they're going to steer the boat now that the tiller is broken. Now, I'm sorry. Sorry. They don't say the tiller. They keep saying the rudder is broken. Yeah, they keep. Yeah, they do. Yeah. Yeah. But they mean the tiller. Now, I feel the need to point out here that. It's an arc. The thing that makes it an arc is that it does not have a steering mechanism.

Yep. That's why. Because otherwise it would be Noah's boat would be the name of the fucking story. Sure. Noah's ship. Yeah, right. There's other words for that. So yeah, so they're all worried about how they're going to drive the fucking undrivable

fucking vehicle. And then they realized, Hey, what if we just all prayed? So they all pray and God, you know, he's down to only 10 people on earth. He can hear the prayers when they come through, I guess, at this point. So he steers the boat around all these ice flows that is around suddenly. I saw when there's a whole back and forth with God here where he's like not, he's not doing anything. He's kind of like, I want to sleep through the prayers or whatever. And then he's turning over and then they kind of wake him up and then he gets like angry and kind of just like looks down and it reminded me when I was a kid and my dad would be on

An alcoholic bender and you wake him. Is that just me? Is it just me? Oh you brought the mood down now Come on you made this movie about a biblical genocide sad. Yeah movie about a biblical genocide sad. Yeah. Right. We were having lots of fun. So much fun before that. Look at the end of the bed. How dare you? Do you see Panties husband pulling up his pants and going back to his job as a firefighter? Now he can't even get a hard whip. Yeah. Exactly. Thumb in his ass. He can't even get a hard. So okay. So then we cut to Panda and Mole trying to to explain to Kirell that Zero is innocent because she believed that he ate the grass whopper as well. And she doesn't believe him until the gay monkey comes in and shows her the fake tomato sauce rags.

And now she's like, oh, okay, so he's not. Yeah, exactly. Off this. And so, but just then God decides to intervene. So he sends a shaft of light that falls somehow on both Noah and Zero. Noah wakes up, he sees his pigeon and they do this bit and this is so, cause this is a stupid cliche to begin with and it makes no sense here, but they do the bit where Noah is now talking to the pigeon, but Zero can hear him and thinks that Noah's disembodied

voice is the voice of Lion God, telling him what to do. But this movie has God in it. And God is presently intervening on the situation. Right? God did the light. So God is like, don't worry, this one will be a twofer because there's a kind of farcical misunderstanding going on.

It's so fucking dumb. But now this is where Noah tells the pigeon that he's got to go out and find dry land. So he sends the pigeon away. And then his buddies and Kyrell come in and break him out of jail, break Zero out of jail. Right? He apologizes to Kyrell for being so act one and act two for the whole movie, but he promises to be act three from now on. So weird. And then I love this too, because the gay monkeys like we don't actually have time to resolve that plotline.

We have 15 fucking minutes. Let's say some of that credits too. We've got to move this a little. Literally they're in the middle of doing the like, you know, I've always loved you. And he's like, I'm so sorry, but we do need to take back over the arc because that is what the movie is about. Yep. So, yeah, so now we're watching the Tigers get ready for their genocide. They've come into the cafeteria. They're ready to eat some fucking meat, right?

Which is dumb because their plan was the evil farming thing. Right. But but they're ready to eat some fucking meat. They can't wait till the shore, come on now. Yeah, so they're gathering up animals, they're tying them up in advance so that, you know, the good guys will have time to get there. And then there's also, there's a scene there where we cut to God and we see that God's asleep.

And this is the movie's way of telling us, oh, God won't be able to intervene and help here. But like, God just murdered almost all terrestrial life. You don't have to demonstrate somehow that he's heartless at this point in your movie. Yeah. Also like, Oh no, God is sleeping is not the stakes layout that you think it is. So, all right. So the bad guys are about to eat some animals and then the good guys bust in.

Someone tell me what happened here. It's a hawka. A haka. Okay. Right. I don't know why, but the animals do do the haka. And if you don't know what the haka is, it's a traditional dance. I'm going to say these words. Okay. Do you want to say I'm in a Spanish, a Spanish accent as an Impressionist? It's a traditional dance, yes. It's a traditional dance of the New Zealand people that the All Blacks, the New Zealand rugby team do before every game and most famously did before winning the World Cup in 2011, which was amazing.

It's the most amazing thing that's ever happened in sports. But that's not the point. The point is that has nothing to do with this movie and I don't know why they do it. It's, but, hold on now. They do mostly the Haka until they cut to the gay masseuse orangutan who finishes with the macaroon. He does. He doesn't know the moves to the Haka.

He kind of gives up Mitch Tride and he looks like Hillary Clinton when they were fucking announcing Bill Clinton and she's doing a really bad, she doesn't know which elbow to touch. He looks just like that. Yeah. So, okay. So, but now they're going to rug before it. They rug be a little bit, but then we wind up with Tiger fighting zero, gato e gato,

and everybody pauses because they know a main battle when they see one What was on the wall here? There's a sign on the wall that had two burgers and then a plus sign and then two pineapples And I was trying to figure out what was on the wall and why it said that I think am I the only one did I? Am I am I holding up the podcast with my weirdness? You stopped to check the menu? You were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are they serving at this place? I thought I wanted two burgers and two full pineapples. That feels like a lot. I don't want a white lunch.

This movie's kind of falling apart for me. That menu don't make no sense. So, okay, so here's another one, a bit of a double take within the children's cartoon. So Tiger is winning the fight between him and Zero until he threatens to rape Kyrell. I know what the fuck is happening. I'm just fucking what?

He's like, sure, I'll throw her to you when I finished with her. And I'm like, what? Finished what, though, in the kids mind? Finish what so but yeah, but that's when zero just as he can fight back But at that exact moment the arc runs aground on an ice flow Interrupts the fight and all the bad guys heads get knocked through a wall. So they are incapacitated forever now She might as well just run over and wave her arms in front of him and be like,

they're not in the movie anymore. Yeah, right. Right. So the Tenardier's meanwhile think that they found dry land now, so they're really excited. And then we cut to Noah climbing out of his own poop chute. Again, that reads like a accidental admission. Galeante. Yeah. Yeah. Also, given the sexual content of the episode so far, we do need to clarify when people aren't climbing out of their own buttholes. That's right. That's the chute that the poop came out of earlier. Thank you. Yeah, I should clarify that. Yeah. So all the animals are freaking out and Zero tries to calm him with

his kingliness, but he makes him panic even more, right? So they're panicking around and then he growls and Nothing calms a panic like a growling lion like a roaring lion Everyone just oh, that's fine. Oh, wow. Oh, he must have something important. I guess I will get in the line for the buffet Yeah, right. Yeah So yeah But so he he gives his king speech and it's so good that even Tiger's accomplices are like, no, like he's obviously the king. The hereditary monarchy seems to just work.

It just works. Literally Wolf from earlier, who was like, we should have a trial turns to Tiger as their heads are sticking through the wall and they've been incapacitated for the rest of the movie and goes, you know, I'm really a big, he's done a lot of growth. We're very clearly in act three. Yep. Yep. So yeah, so but then the Holy Ghost convinces God to ungenocide the world now.

So he like turns the screw that drains the flood waters. Which felt like weird stakes to set up, right? It's like, oh no, 0.0001% of the population you just killed is about to die. Yeah, right. Right. Fine. I'll acquiesce. Sure. Yeah. So the storm breaks. This is where they mentioned that they're in the South Pole because, and I, again, I had to point that out because they were sailing towards the sunset and they're non-sailboat the entire fucking time. So all the animals decide to, to gather up torches like they are worried that Jews are

going to replace them and walk out onto the ice flows to a hippo singing opera music. Amazing opera Potamus. Yes. I literally was in the middle of writing a, this music is a little much note, but then it's a hippo. Yes, it's diegetic. It's diegetic opera music in the, yeah. Really weird fucking scene.

And Noah, he climbs back out and they're like, oh wow, you're alive. And he's like, yeah, I was just fine. You could have just come down all the way and you would have found me but no you didn't. You guys looked down there's big piles of shit I was fine. I was fine. Also there's two other humans on here I won't mention it but you guys know.

No sure won't and he's like now let's fix the rudder that the Ark has that is a steering wheel. Why would he know that the rudder is broken he He was down in the basement fighting the ship piles. Yeah. Ran into something. That's true. So, okay. So, but then Kyrell is like, Hey, you know, these, these animals sure could use some

leadership and I kind of get off on you. Uh, leadership. I'll be over here. And so then the animals decide that to free the ship from this ice flow, they need to take the many barrels of pitch they had on them, as you do, and then like pour it in a line across the entire ice flow, and then set it to flame to crack the ice flow in half. So that they can do a slow motion walk away explosion from the gap.

So that they could do, and all of us were so desperately hoping the arc would just catch on fire. And they did it. Just blow up. Yeah. Oh, there you go. Yeah, just explode. And then when it opens, the like animation falls away and it's just the writer smoking a cigarette that he's clearly dipped in cocaine. And he's like, these ones got the way from us. So our story ends with the

Ark Excess exploding. Okay? But that works. Go to sleep. That works. The Ark is free now. And the Tenardi is just then they run it. They ram a door open and they rush out. They're like, we're on dry land. Hooray. And they realize that they're on an ice flow and the Ark is already leaving. It's too late. They can't get back on. And they realized that they're on an ice flow and the arc is already leaving. It's too late. They can't get back on. And then they look over and it looks, it turns out that all the ice animals have just stayed on the ice flow now. The polar bear and the penguins and all of them. And the polar bears like, Oh, I'm going to eat those motherfuckers. And that's the last we are ever going to see of the tinnardias.

Ever going to see them. Wasn't a very big ice floe. I'm pretty sure he caught them. So alright. So then, and then we get the pigeon returning with an olive branch. So hooray. So all the animals dance like they just overthrew the Galactic Empire. Okay. And Panty, I'm sorry, I just have to say it.

Yes, you do have to say it. Panty is literally go-go dancing in a cage at this park. Yes, sure is. Yep. They put her in a cage so that she could dance for them as their prisoner. The donkey is eyeing her from the ground. Yes, they cut back to the donkey going, so hey, how long are you in that cage for? Donkey's like, what's up?

What's going on over there? Are you a volume girl? Is that a volume? Because I don't know if you've read the book. Like, what's up? What's going on over there? Are you a volume girl? You care about volume? Cause I don't know if you've read the book this movie's based on. I just gotta get some omniscience to you. I do get a little bit of a shout out from the old G-O-D.

And then we cut back to heaven and God turns to the Holy Ghost. He's like, dude, you accidentally left the rainbow on. Womp womp. Da da da da da da. And that's it. that that's it. And that's it. Genocide.

Yeah, right. Right. Yeah. And then they're like they're like spiel and puns over the credits. Yeah, yeah. No, they're like they're they're spitballing good lines for the Bible. It's like us in an Uber on the way to a live show, just being like, OK,

oh, you know what? You could have called it. You know, you could just. All right. So and that's it. You know what you could have called it. Just fucking. All right. So and that's it. That's the movie. We get our credits. I didn't stick around long, but I do have a question for you guys before we wrap up.

If this exact same studio decided that they were going to follow up with another Bible story based movie, which they should. Oh yes, absolutely. Which story would you hope they'd tackle? I'm going with Sodom and Gomorrah. And here's why. Oh yes, absolutely. Which story would you hope they'd tackle? I'm going with Sodom and Gomorrah and here's why. Oh yeah! Sure, yeah. So when Lot's wife turns around... You don't have to tell me why, I get why.

Yeah, we saw the movie. No, besides all the sex stuff. Besides all that. Okay, now we don't understand. At the end, when Lot's wife turns around and turns into salt, all the deer stand around and lick her. Oh, yeah! wife turns around and turns into salt all the deer stand around and lick her yeah all right all right Eli what are you thinking I'm gonna go with Moses's escape from Egypt just cuz I'm really excited for the sexy locust dance pretty solid no no good I was thinking I was thinking revelations for the same reason I went to the scorpion horse locusts but sexy all right so that's gonna do it for a review on Noah's Ark but that's not gonna Revelations for the same reason. I went to Scorpion Horse Locusts, but sexy. All right, so that's gonna do it for our review on Noah's Ark,

but that's not gonna do it for the episode just yet because we still need to do this shit again, but harder. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. Well, Noah, we'll be headed to Boston. That's right. Yes. Beamtown, USA. You know what that means. Marcus Mark and his action.

How the fuck is Mark gonna fucking be there? That's right, and his action. How the fuck is Mark going to be there? That's right and his action reincarnation tenant ripoff thriller infinite. Oh my god. Oh finally. Fucking infinite. Cecil we had you on the wrong week man. I would love to bring you to Boston.

Podcast listen we fucking begged Cecil. We absolutely tried to get him to go. I eat a lot of shit on this show. I was like, Cecil, come to Boston, please. I can't do it. He sent snow to me. He has a family. I can't do it.

I can't do it. Yeah. Oh, and speaking of which, I know it's too late to get tickets to see us in Boston, but remember tickets are available to see us in national on December 7th at gotoffamovieslive.com. At least as we record this there are tickets available, so go quick. So with that to look forward to, we're gonna make episode 472 to a merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to Cecil. Be sure to check out more from him on Cognitive Dissonance and Lawful Assembly, which we'll have linked on the show notes, and a perhaps even huger thanks

to all the Patreon donors that helped make the show go. If you'd like to scout yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash Godawful, and there by your early access to an ad-free version of every episode. You can also help with time by leaving a five star review and by sharing the show on our various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows the scaling of the citationated DND minus and the skeptic red available wherever podcasts live. If you have questions, comments or cinematic suggestions, you can email god awful moves to gmail.com

Tim Robertson takes care of our social media our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnik of evil drafts on Mars all the other music was written and performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clark and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a check of your life this week for Heathenright and Eli Bosnik. I'm No Illusions, promise to work harder, earn another chunk next week. Until then, we'll leave you with a Breakfast Club close. The evil merchants swam north and found the nation of Lamanites.

The kangaroos, wallabies, and platypuses borrowed a dinghy or something probably. Bad movie or no, this thing definitely created some furries. Oh, yes. I should per se. Call me Penny. Can I do that? Can I abuse that power? Nope. Damn it. It doesn't even mention the fuck donkey. I love this movie. Yeah. Fuck donkey. I'm glad we all caught the fuck donkey. The fuck donkey is the best. Oh, the fuck donkey gets his own interstitial in here. Yeah. So good. So good. There are so many times, I'm just going over the notes today, there are so many times where I'm

like, oh, we all caught that good. Yeah. I feel like we're less crazy now. Her ass was getting bigger. Okay. It's true have three all have that note in the same scene but yeah we'll get there all right better help then we check in on the tenardies they're sneaking into the vegan cafe Polly pride and the sorry I missed what you said you like Polly pride oh so pride Poli pride. Oh. So. Pride. Yep. Lines. Group of Lines. Group of Lines.

Yep. I'm glad I brought everything to the screeching halt to go back for that one. Yeah. I whisper. So I whisper. You didn't have to come back for me. No, I didn't. I didn't.

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