God Awful Movies - 51: GAM051 Vultures of Horror 2

Episode Date: August 9, 2016

On this week's episode, we pull a late audible and Heath, Noah, and Eli join forces for an atheist review of Vultures of Horror 2. In the second edition of everyone's favorite supernatural Nigerian Christian soap opera, nothing happens. But he still talk about it for an hour. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page. --- This podcast is a production of Puzzle in a Thunderstorm, LLC.

Just a quick note before we get the show started we said at the end of last week show that we're gonna be reviewing the infamous quantum Wu epic what the bleep do we know this weekend in a sense we did I mean we we did review it and we even recorded it And had an awesome guest on to do it with us and unfortunately There was a problem with her audio that we didn't catch until after the recording by then it was too late to re-record or to record another episode before Tuesday morning That's the bad news. The good news, though, is that we did record an extra episode a couple of weeks earlier that we were planning on using when Eli was on his honeymoon at the end of this month. So we do have an episode for you.

It's just not the one that we intended to have for you. And if you're one of those massacistic folks that watches the movie along with us, we promise that we will be reviewing what the bleep do we know next week so it wasn't all for naught. Anyway, sorry about that. And without further ado, we bring you us reviewing a different movie instead. Oh, crazy billionaire money. We remake this where Heath just jumps into their dance circle,

but it's just all fuck dancing. Just warming up on that car. Just warming up on that car. Like the gas is open that by the time he's done with it Just undoes that latch from the inside Leave me dance before having it. It's a crazy billionaire money doesn't include a heath twerk And it's just not worth it. So yeah, they they they have a dance party asking for a favor. You're wetting worth it. So yeah, they they they have a dance party asking for a favor at your wedding. Check it out. I heard.

Not awful. Movie. Movie. Movie. Welcome back to the Gamcast where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema because the grocery store was fresh out of the spike tankel things from the DaVinci code. I'm your host Noah Lozons and sitting to my immediate left is my good friend Heath and

right Heath. Welcome back. Thank you, thank you and praise be to Shocker Kiki. And sitting 989 miles to my right is my bad friend Eli Bosnik. Eli, how are you this fineons sir? I'm doing pretty good You know, I don't know if you guys have heard but they have a poster now for shock Looking at it on my wall right now Snacks of the don't kill yourself and or other things rules right

So we're already hinting around about it like crazy, but let's just be official here. Heath, tell us what will we be breaking down today? All right, we watched Vultures of Horror 2, which is a movie about nothing happens. It's about nothing. It's not. It's the sign-filled of Nigerian movies.

They might as well just show us a table read, and that would be all that. What's the deal with Vultures of Horror? This will find out in the next movie because this one has no plot. It's terrible. Maybe something happens to the Vultures of Horror? No! No! Nothing happens.

That's the movie. You read on the show and Eli how bad was this movie? Well, you loved the first vultures of horror, but you thought to yourself, damn it, there's two few characters. And all this CGI is the devil, and you will love this movie. It's two scenes that happen over and over again for almost exactly an hour. Uh, it's the waiting for Volchers. So fucking bad.

And I should point out, okay, so we decided to do this. And Eli's going on on his honey. Moose get married and everything. Bunch of shit coming up. So we decided we record a couple episodes in advance. And I thought what better to do if we have to do an episode in Vist squeeze and extra one out than another. Vultures or Horror episode. So much material, it'll be so funny, there'll be so much to talk about, it'll be so easy, and then yeah,

we just get absolutely nothing for fucking 58 minutes or whatever. Now, as many of our listeners know, Vultures of Horror ranks out right up there with losing my virginity and trying butt stuff for the first time. So this flick had a lot to live up to. was fun wasn't it? Yeah, no, yeah, it was it was it was happened at the same time a lot of people So what I wanted to do to start was do it like a quick better or worse on the key elements of the film here So Vultures 2 was it was it better or worse in terms of Random characters showing up for no reason? Uh, worse. That's the whole movie. Definitely worse. That's just the entire movie. So. Mm-hmm. All right. How about cheesy biotary standard special effects?

Uh, I'm saying worse. Again, almost nothing happens. So we don't see enough of those in my opinion. Um, that was a little bit. A lady does blow onto a pot full of fire. Yeah, it really peaks early. Okay, how about was it better or worse in terms of random people talking in the background of the audio? Oh, better, much better. Yeah, much better. Okay, I was gonna say worse. I mean, and they also have like random,

futuristic weapons being used in the background. Which doesn't make sense. No idea. That's one. Quite a bit of that. How about, was it better or worse in terms of ample African asses? Much better. Agreed.

Much better. It didn't make any sense, but the scene where the girls all turn around and think they're models, I could watch that forever. I was okay with that. Certainly the best scene in both of these movies put together. Okay, so is there anything that you'd like to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? Can I go with being able to understand people whose first language is English. There were, I kept yelling at Siri being like subtitles on and Siri was like, dude, no one can do this. So, your racist.

No, your racist, Siri. Your racist. Actually, I was going to say so big, Sillier. Yeah, I'd say this is second best worst subtitles, just not having the most difficult at times. There were at least a couple of times when they switched into a different language or something though. I they're half to of Ben. I'm otherwise I'm more racist than I thought. Alright well obviously we've been itching with anticipation for a long time on this one.

So we're gonna pause to put some Benadrill on that or something and when we come back we'll break down all the entirely unrelated scenes that are Vultures of Horror 2. There wasn't a post-colonic. Hey guys! Oh, uh, oh, hey mr. Spalding Hey, so how are my superstar writers doing great great? Yeah, so I'm so excited to see these five scripts you wrote for me for our vultures whole horror one through five Can I check them out yet? Oh? Yeah, sure give, give me one second.

Yeah, so that's, this is Vultures a Horror One. Oh, yeah, right. And then we also, and then hold on, just, and then that's number two, there's number two. And then this one right here, these are three, four, and five this this one right here these are free for and and five there you go There they are yeah, you got them okay guys You very clearly just took a single script and tore it into five pieces What I am a fanny I would we would not oh hurt. Oh, hurtful. Never. Check your privilege.

What the hell are we gonna, let me see. Oh, well, you know what, I think, maybe we could put this on TV in Nigeria. Oh, my brother Brian does special effects if you need a guy. Book you. And we're back for the breakdown. And we're gonna start things off with a,

this preview has been approved for all audiences screen That is not followed by a preview now it takes us a minute to figure that out I think it's coming. It's not but I guess they just know that that's how movies start so they started with that screen See I have a theory though. I have a theory. Hear me out They finished this movie and they were like, guys, we forgot to make anything happen in this movie. And they were like, it's maybe we can just trick Nigerians into thinking it's a preview for that one. And to be fair, it worked on me until minute 50, like at minute 50, a lot of my notes are man this preview is

extensive Think about it as a preview for vultures of horror 3 it does work It's set up vultures of horror 3 now We have no guarantees that anything will happen in vultures of horror 3 and I've been hurt before But it could technically be the case. That's all I'm saying I think we shouldn't close mind into the fact that this might just be the world's longest preview. Yeah, well, okay, so but here's the thing though. In the end of Vultures 1, they played a preview for Vultures 2

that had all this crazy Vultures laser sci-fi bullshit. I don't think that ever happens. I don't think Cornell West ever does get attacked by that fucking chair. I think that's just something that they keep throwing in there to tease us into watching the next one I'm starting to lose my faith in the vultures of horror So yeah, so we start with the with the credits Which where we get some sweet ass names like two sweet a non

And so yeah actually one of the actors names and then it comes to the title screen which says I Shit you not Five vultures of horror to and it's almost like you say in right dead You're never gonna know what the fuck is going on here, bro Fucker you talking about so we so we start with the late okay if you recall at the end of vultures one We found out that it was all a dream because some lady that we'd never met walked up and started talking about the dream and praying when we start with that scene again we get to watch that right more time right yeah when we left off last time we were looking at a left breast so that's

where we start here yeah but it's not a dream because her dream or the actions of that dream will continue. Yes So I still don't know who that character is What she wants or what information she and her fat husband who ignores her are supposed to be revealing to us Everything is crazy. That's what I have to say about the whole movie Thanks for listening to God off of the movie. Yeah right right. Yeah exactly but that won't do it for our review just. It'll draft some more. We still have the whole fucking movie to go.

Okay so yeah. No they were just playing that damn scene as though trying to try to connect us to it but then I guess she falls asleep and starts dreaming about those same people some more or some of those people some more and all my notes are, whatever happened to the preview. You promised us a preview. What the fuck is going on here? And then we cut to this next scene.

Now this scene just blows me the fuck away for so many reasons. It's five and a half minutes long and it's a man and a woman in a field with a cheap cross, yow singing. Yup, forever. Look, I watched Ray's Atheism movie and the thing that I learned from it is that Atheism is illogical and religion is logical and there's nothing that assures me more that these

people are coming from a logical, super well thought out place then five minutes of them screaming emotion words at a tea Made out of what used to be their house Just keeps happening they go for a while. Oh, I was just wrote wow. They're gonna keep sing yelling like idiot That's like 10 minutes now. It's create. They sound like Lincoln Park became an acapella bit Lincoln Park became an acapella bit. She's horrible. Slightly better, lyrically though. Also, quick director's note, hey, should we move that tree that's knocking most of the shot? No. Should we shoot from a different angle? No. Now, people want to look at a giant tree in the foreground of scurrying all the action. Look how well it worked for international gorillas. And am I mistaken or was one of the lines of their song master Jesus

You are the poodle does right that's it started early yeah, I have master Jesus you are the bridge and the hose of our lives The actual Pretty sure who knows yeah who knows the guy like I said It's a man and a woman the guy who's facing away from the camera is praising Jesus Like he's breaking in a prison bitch and then he says herbal father three times and No, oh my notes here are just why are we looking at these characters through a weed? I don't want to see him either, but come on. We could just skip this scene And then of course my other line is Jesus camp doesn't have shit on these two

Show that little crying white girl They all grew up and they're not okay We all read an article. They're not we knew they were in okay at the time that we got it We got a person depressing breakfast club close to all of them though One of them's really into you fucking him. I'ma find her. So yeah, so that we get more than two solid minutes of two people with yelling different shit, which is occasionally sung. That's the other thing too, is it's not like they're saying a prayer in unison. It's two people yelling different things, discordantly.

So if you're wondering who those people were or what that was all about you can go ahead and stop wondering we're never going to know This will never come back like everything else and then we're back at the fruit stands from from movie one You'll recall the evil wife Has a bodega next to a good lady who she uses magic to thwart yes, and to a good lady who she uses magic to thwart. Yes, and they work at stands that sell cotton candy, condensed milk, bottles of Coke,

and a product that I could not Google. It's later on there's a package I Googled it, it doesn't exist on the internet. The internet's like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, man, that's not a real thing. I will admit as soon as the vulture a horror theme started I squirted a little though as soon as the auto tuning came up. It's pretty yeah. We all have got I missed this song But she's mad because her business isn't going as well now these two women Look identical and not just cuz I'm racist She's mad because her business isn't going as well. Now, these two women look identical.

And not just because I'm racist, they are similar looking African-American ladies wearing similar looking clothing. So I don't want to hear it. All right? I will double blind test anybody who tweets, man, shit at me happens. So, and to alleviate this issue she has

with the other lady getting more business than her. She pulls out a pot that looks like if she smashed it, she would find a rupee or perhaps a boomerang. I wrote, here, I'm just going to blow the fire out of this cell. Couldn't look more like that and she's blowing fire in in now keep in mind she's standing in the public square blowing this fire into this pot the fire is going in a straight line to the sky to summon the vultures of horror. Yeah well this is exactly why you saved the Megablan after you eat the happy nails. So I guess she uses her magic spell so now every time somebody walks up to her competitors

Bodega, they get hit by a bomb from Astrosmash and walk over to her Bodega instead. That's a marketing rule. While she's doing this, she's just saying vultures of horror over and over. She's like at least trying to make it sound like magic words or something This would be like Harry Potter just being like I'm the good guy. I'm the good guy good spell All I got to say is that's it we're calling upon the fucking vultures I want some of those evil Pokeballs too. I'd be like one I want people to go You know, I think I'll download Joel Osteen's put wait a minute. No, I won't Joel Osteen No, I'm moving to the G's for some reason

I'm getting me one of those firepots as soon as we get off the line Anyways all the customers are getting hit with the Tari graphics and the and the the good bodega lady is starting to wonder What the fuck's going on here. Well, I want to point out, she loses three customers in a row and says, out loud, must be safe, doesn't it? There's no way three people wanted to shop at her competitor. It must be a magic spell. Now, this movie's crazy and it turns out to be true.

Yeah, right. Throughout this movie, we need to acknowledge how dangerous the idea is being put forward or because people in Nigeria Hack each other to death over this shit, which isn't real all the time And they watch this movie and they're like see say that's why I killed him boot to he had four customers or I was I was even more patient than this bitches. Yeah, stole my dick and everything now Yeah, so three consecutive customers come to her shop and now she's putting a fucking down payment

on a space station. She's counting her fucking Nigerian dollars look like monopoly money, like, oh, oh, oh, oh. I wanna point out, Nigerian money looks like what it's worth. Nigerian money looks like brochures for spillunking at a gas station and I have no proof that that's not what it is. And no proof, that's not what it is. It have no proof that's not what it is. Looks like a paper menu at a diner.

Well somebody already did the maze. Is that an ad for a hooker? Nice. I also love to that and we're going to get a lot of this in the movie. What has to happen in order for us to be fulfilled in this movie is a thing has to happen and then we have to cut to a person talking to themselves about the thing that just happened. Exactly. It does that throughout the fucking movie and there are 23 straight back and forth scenes where like the evil lady is like, I am making much money today thanks to the vultures of horror and the good lady is like,

I'm not making much money today because of Satanism. We go back and forth on that forever. Apparently the writers thought that scene was too subtle for the audience. So we literally watch evil vultures lady count money and explain the plot sufferers. I'm evil and this is my evil money that I made because of the evil magic which I am a practitioner evil money indeed Maha-ha evil is key evil is key So so then we cut to that night she's talking to a great teaky mask And I thought she was talking to the teaky for major leagues and And then I realized I have very different feelings about major league now because Charlie sheen has a league now because Charlie Sheen has aides. Well the husband looks exactly like Pedro Serrano. He does. Just like Joe. And I got to say when he walked on screen

I started clapping like it was a show on Fox from the 90s or something you know I was pretty excited to see him. Of course this is the evil guy who held his own head well as Neck was on fire in the first one will buy some all-state coverage you got hit by an extra cash bomb and i just want to say i know lots of african-american studies professors whose bed sheets his outfit is made out of so like i really he's just like thing one and thing to went to the playboy i just wrote i will never be bad ass enough to pull off those jammies and then I wrote, do the hold your neck, head, fire thing.

Come on man, come on, do it, do it, do it, he's gonna do it. He doesn't do it. He doesn't. To cheer up, do you want me to hold my head in my own hand now? No, luckily, luckily all I needed to cheer me up was to notice that in the background of this scene there is a great Shaka Raikiiki album cover hanging over the bed. Yeah, they've got a great Shaka Raikiiki album poster. It looks like a tour.

It looks like it's from the 1994 Shaka Raikiiki tour. Right, it was the vultures of horror tour by great shocker a key key exactly budget assholes I heard them at first at Coachella After amazing in the diamonds and then I was like you know what man I'm gonna like see what they're into but their own shows their solo shows are so much better So in this movie universe devil worshiped vultures have Mass marketing media like they pick up their pultures like the one face book and they use the characters in this movie aren't

even used they're using them to mildly increase sales at a flea market right you magical laser vultures and that's what they've done with it now also this movie has not paid attention to it So because in the first movie she used the vultures of horror against this same lady remember That's the lady that the skeletons came and attacked in the first one and she put the holy water on them I'm pointing that out because later on they're gonna totally betray the first movie Right, I like consistency. So yes, so she's just standing like yeah, exactly exactly. They're fucking it up man Batman never did get taught karate by fucking

What's his name so so she's the Joker? I was thinking of the other guy so she's got a braz algo So she's gonna do everything that she can to maintain all of her customers with evil magic And I gotta be honest. I prefer to go to the bodega that's willing to use satanic magic to secure my business That means something to me. Are you willing to go that extra mile? Are you willing to summon vultures for my can of tomato say ho? So now we cut back to the shop again for the exact same scene and I noticed at this point that she definitely has canned tomatoes and I think I'd be bored at this point if I wasn't too busy Fucking so hard to the vultures of horror things and Anna was sitting next to me as I wrote that note and Anna returned to me and goes, no you aren't and I wrote, you don't know. Shit.

I think this is such a little moment too but this is so amazing. This little kid walks up to buy a can of tomatoes and a can of coke or whatever you can get at this fucking shop and he starts talking exactly as the lyrics for the Vultures of Horror Theme comments. So for just a second there's this lip sync moment where this little kid's going, Vultures of Horror in auto-tune. Pretty fucking amazing. This theme sounds like Boy George got turned into

an evil robot. It's its Vulture Club, it's weird. Again. But the only thing you need to learn about this scene is that her charm of summoning the Vultures of Horror to laser people with marketing is no longer working and she's bummed about it. Yeah, the two customers in a row go to the other lady, so now she's completely freak it out.

And she's doing devil worship and stuff. Yeah, well, I mean, yeah, well, he's already pointed it out, so I'm not going to point out once again that you could just use vulture magic to have a less shitty job. Like how much money could you make just going out on the streets and saying, hey, four bucks, I'll sell them in a vulture. And don't run the same canned tomato store right next to another canned tomato store in the market. Whether or not you have the vultures of heart, affect your sales. It's just silly, it's bad business. So yeah, so she's all upset because her customers aren't coming back today and I thought, you know, hey, maybe magic pots and devil birds have nothing to do with whether or not people

happen to go, but no, because it's this stupid fucking movie. Apparently she's countered the hacks or something. So right. And she's dressed like a Komodo dragon in this scene, which I deeply appreciated. and her husband explains that Shakra Kiki Shakra Kiki works in mysterious ways and we basically get the God the problem of evil jingly keys that we get in every Christian movie except the Satan worshipper is explaining it about the Vultures of horror yes nice to know that Christian God and Shakra Kiki on the same page They work in the series ways. Who are you to question

them? Where were you when the vultures made the whirlwind or burned that house down in the last movie? You get it. The wife's basically she's like, where did this other person get these power? What charms is she using again? Is it Shaka Kiki the son of God who died for our sin? You think we could be wrong on that? You think it's somebody else? Because it seems like it might be somebody else. I've got almost the same notes. My notice, funny how their arguments for Shakira Kiki are exactly the same as the ones they use for God.

Yeah. I think we all noticed, yeah. When I finally agreed to formally debate David Barton, I'm going to present the argument from Shakira Kiki. You're only going to get 8% of the time. You're going to go fast. That the time. You're gonna go fast. That's okay. I'm gonna use it to point out that he doesn't know anything and he looks like a lizard upside

down in slow motion. So in this scene, what we're learning is what happened in the previous scene that Shakra Keke didn't give her all the business. And she says she's not mad at Sh Rikiki. She's just disappointed. Also several other transitive verbs that don't belong together. He has disappointed me. He has besmirched me. No. He has bespoken me. No. No. No. That's not so yeah, yeah, and and the dad the husband who is now in a Different pair of phenomenal pajamas. Oh my god. These people have a walk-in closet of just loud shiny There's no other explanation No one in this movie and either of these movies can be in the same outfit in two consecutive scenes, even if it's still the same conversation. It's fucking amazing. So yeah, but he explains

that chakra keeki never disappoints you. It's never happened to him before. And then we cut to a balcony where, okay, this is, well, first we get this bizarre thing. Okay, we're cutting to another scene. And this is going to be good bedega lady on the balcony. But right before that, at the end of the last scene the the husband looks up and he says oh great chakra Kiki And then we look at a balcony as though he's Romeo and Julietting Oh god, I wanted chakra Kiki to come out in a white sort of see through night down Start talking about Kuntikintay giant fucking beenvert with a Teddy on or something.

Yeah, that'd be awesome. So no, but this lady is, okay, this is Goodbud Aga Lady and she's gonna stand here talking about something that happened the previous day while holding a trash bag full of petrified turds or something. I'm almost certain that the first half of the sentence was not in English. Yeah, all of our notes are identical. They're all like, I don't know

what she's saying. Why is she so sweaty and shiny? Is this from my mom? I did catch the word born again though. I think she was saying she says like, these born again Christians are pretty powerful. Like,'m gonna ask for some more spells to deal with this whole vultures. So you, or I already did, and this is a flashback that's coming, which ever makes more sense. I'm not gonna tell you yet. Yeah, so after a line that switches

between Igbo, full full day in English without subtitles, we get a flashback or a different scene. Eventually we figure this out, but there's very little to go on right now. But this is a flashback to her talking to an old lady about a widow with four kids that we will never meet and never have met in this film. Yeah, but basically the old lady is like, here's the crucifix of Christ. And I'm like, as opposed to the crucifix of Steve or Dave.

And also, what is very clearly a bottle of olive oil. Well, and here's just to give you an idea how ridiculous this stupid fucking movie is. We get the two of them talking, and she's like, oh, you know, somebody's using evil devil of bulture magic against me. The other lady's like, meet me tonight

and I will give you something to help. And then we immediately cut to the next scene where she's meeting her that night to give her the crucifix and the olive oil. It's like they couldn't put that all together in one scene. One sweet eye movie cut later. Yeah, exactly.

Right. So, and I figured out at this point too, that this movie is like a puzzle game. It's like, once I figure out what the hell this scene was about, it moves on to the next one. So, it became a bit of a game for me. So, escape the movie. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. Yeah. So, she gives her the crucifix and the oil and she's like, well, you have to really believe in Christian, but I'll get it. I'm going to give you the magic oil is one time. It's actually hard to get there, banning it because people are using it for butt stuff or something like that.

Don't use it for butt stuff. Just use it for like I said. She also, I love this line. She says the old lady says the battle at hand is not to be fought with empty hands. So there will be no karate battles in this movie. At least they let you know there. I'm out, I'm out!

This interview is over. Oh shit. She also says, don't forget to testify what the Lord has done for you. And I just want to point out that it becomes very, very clear if it wasn't already, that the Christian God in this movie is just one of many competing deities. These people are basically showing up, like my God can beat up your God, the contest. This is definitely not the one and only God

we're used to seeing in Christian films. They're just proposing that Christ is a slightly stronger demon God that works in mysterious ways. Yes, exactly. So yeah, and then and then she's like And of course this is all like I said a flashback to how this lady countered the hacks of the vulture so that she could get her three customers back the following day

But again, I had no idea what the fuck was going on So I thought she was still trying to counter the spell even though it was already countered I'm thinking in yourito made this fucking movie or something. But then we get the spectacular swish cut. This is I believe Windows Movie Maker Transition 6. And that's to her using her Jesus magic, you know, sprinkling her magic all of oil about her shop. Yeah, I just wrote so it was a flashback just tell us we know what flashbacks are you can just say or use the blin Loo or something God damn it is blue. Not the same as swoosh. Oh, I see I think they just thought there was supposed to be a noise there

But the thing is is that the swoosh didn't lead us out of the flashback the swoosh led us to her sprinkling the stuff that's still in the flashback. And then that comes to the scene where she was on the balcony earlier. And after we watch her sprinkle for about 15 minutes, and I love this particular moment because it cuts back to her on the balcony and she's got the bag of petrified turds,

which turns out to be the crucifix in the olive oil. And she has to just set that on the balcony, but it clearly won't set right It's like watching a drunk guy balances beer on the You're all the way in the edge of I'm gonna help you. I'm just gonna help you I'm gonna show you I'm gonna show you I'm fine to drive give me one side. I just got put it I'm gonna I'm fine. Get off me. Get off me. I give you can't have my fucking keys Cuz you'll cuz you're drunk. That's why keeping my keys away from you. I'm gonna do a magic trick

Does anybody have a set of keys? Perfect And basically in the scene so she she sprinkles her thing with magic all of her customers come back But her conclusion is all my customers came back, but my husband says, he's gonna go to a different God later this week and bring me a super strong charm. So I guess I'll just clumsily put this plastic bag where the mic can get closest to it. And we'll see, she's trying out gods.

Yeah. No, I got pink hearts and orange stars, yellow moons, green clovers on the way. So we'll see what happens. Gods yeah, yeah, no, I got pink hearts and orange stars yellow Clovers on the way so we'll see what happens walking around a supermarket eating the samples You're like lady. I know you're not gonna buy these hot dogs take as many as you like Stop acting like you're making a purchasing So yeah, so she's waiting for her husband to bring what what he promised will be the strongest charm of all and that's what all Husbands say but whatever so now forget about those characters and everything that's happened up into this point of them in the movie because None of it will matter ever again. We are now at a college

Um, or a hotel. I think it's a college. So we're at a college where there are three buddies standing around texting when two hot chicks walk Bob yeah, and these dudes are dressed like a Boko Haram music video They have no it nothing makes sense is what they're wearing yeah, and Amber Rose walks by pretty sure that's Amber Rose. Yeah, absolutely I'm gonna save everyone a whole lot of time and pain because at this point I still thought I was watching a preview The point is one of these gentlemen is in love with Amber Rose and She won't love him back and that is the majority of the B plot of this movie and he comes up to her Or his friends come up to her and say,

hey, he's got a letter for you, which without looking at, she tears into tiny, tiny, tiny pieces. Like, she's working at a confederate factory. You don't know. She tears it half and again, and I get, I'm saying there's no way she's strong enough to grip these tiny pieces at that point.

Never mind, I'm wrong. She's a ninja warrior. She keeps going a few more times. I now I have to ask, is this the evil daughter from the first movie? Is that who this character is? Oh, maybe. I think it is. I, I, I, I, I, I gotta go back and find out. It would make it make it at least a little more sense, but not much. My music note here, by the way, is what kind of evil awaits Conan in that cave ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha throws away the pieces or whatever and wanders off and clearly the guys are not pleased. And neither is her much hotter friend who tells her to stop being a total bitch to Jerry. Yeah, right. She says to her, he could be Mr. Right to which Amber Rose replies, what kind of insult

is that? And the answer is not an insult. That's just not how that is statement. Do you know that your eyebrows look like an angry bird? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Beaver tail. She's killed two beavers and hung them off her ears and she's also got Enormous enormous sunglasses on this whole time. Oh, yeah, it could be near his eve and out in John be like Yeah, little too much. Tone it down. Tone it down darling. Yeah, just take it easy and just while we're on earrings It is like a practical. It's like a brilliant Tim and Eric sketch because every moment every scene the earrings get Coringsier and huge every moment throughout this movie like no matter what earrings someone's wearing in this scene the next scene

They will be wearing crazier fucking earrings. So just keep an eye on it if you watch all. Yeah I just want to it's like beach umbrellas monopoly boards Madness I just want to point out that the guy who gave hangover all that shit and entourage last week cannot mention Tim and Eric without attaching the word brilliant to it. I just want to throw that out. So my note here is I've made it through a third of this movie. I deserve a fucking cake. Yeah.

And also, and this is going gonna be a constant theme through this movie Virtually none of the actors can deliver a line without screaming it as the last line of a fight Or they're like 30 feet behind the audio I'm far away from the Michael I want to have a conversation with you once I catch up to the microphones It's one of the other and this scene by the way, okay, so the two friends the two girlfriends like argue about whether she should fuck Jerry and the scene literally ends with one of the characters still talking as she walks away from the microphone She's mid-sentence in the scene just ends. We're on to something else Slumber party now

scene just ends we're onto something else slumber party now this was the most bizarre i think the movie ever got was the best the movie ever got to the three extremely hot well to extremely hot chicks and a hot chick in there i guess dorm room for seven year olds having about things that have nothing to do with anything we've seen before or will see again yet she has uh, she has kitten curtains, a Hannah Montana post, these are full grown adults, a Hannah Montana poster and a Winnie the Pooh poster. Fat head.

Ooth fat heads. Yeah. Yeah. And when you see the close-ups, you can also see there are many mouth stickers next to the fucking Winnie the Pooh fat head. So yeah, apparently they're like seven-year-old girl, 27-year-same thing, same thing in the minds of these filmmakers. And what we have here, essentially, are three characters talking about another character that we've never met extensively

for a long time. Yeah. And one of them is wearing the largest earrings I have ever seen. She basically has two of the three Barnum and Bailey rings on her... I'm sorry. ...around this. It's entirely distracting. But my notice her earrings are so big, I feel like Eli should be magically linking them. I say, I've done tricks with those rings. I need those bags.

So apparently, and what we learn very slowly in this is that the three of these girls are in a competition, and just as I'm thinking to myself, ooh, oh, tell me it's a how deep does it go contest, we learned that not quite as good, it's the most beautiful girl on campus contest, and we learned that because they start spinning around and showing off their asses all sexy like. Yeah. That didn't need to have a reason, I'm with them. Yeah, I was okay with it, but it was the lamest scene ever

because she's basically like, okay, I will be the judge. Now is the contest. And then they take turns standing up and she's like, you are the runner up, you are the winner. And then they all applaud and it's over. It's the craziest thing in the world. And again, we can't overemphasize the fact that we will never see these characters again. This competition they're talking about will never come up again.

Nope. I've got to imagine laser vultures have something to do with it's part three, but uh, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't hold it back. Don't hold it back. So, yeah, so now we cut to a more grown up dorm room with the chick that wouldn't fuck Jerry and the evil eyebrow tit girl from before. And once again, they're talking about Jerry. Evil eyebrow tit girl looks like the vampires from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She looks like Josh Ween through them one of those masks and was like, here, you guys want

to use that and they were like, a DO-WE! And so, okay, so but at first in this scene they're complaining, is she, is she complaining about her professor molesting her? Is that what she's saying? Yeah, her professor, who is all of the students' favorite, is really pursuing her and her friend, who's so this movie seems to be why don't you fuck the people who want to fuck you. It's like you're being kind of a bitch about not fucking your professor. I guess. Yeah so they don't want him to be the new HOD, I don't know what the fuck that means, but the old HOD is gone and someone's getting promoted and she doesn't want it to be this professor that keeps molesting her. And Amber Rose's friend is like, yeah, but once he gets the promotion,

he's going to have to stop molesting students. You're fine. Like stop. I've been a bitch about it. And he's really good at lecturing. That's the real point here. Teachers value is very little to do with molesting. It's about lecturing. And she goes, in fact, I'm going to pray to have God cancel your prayers about not getting What she's gonna be spotlight three black light And by the way the the the friend that the angry bird chick is she now British What happened with that accent? It's changed like 15 times already. Yeah, she seems to have landed on British fast

and furious extra, but it's just like a lot. Yeah. So, okay, so then they get a visitor and damn it if it isn't that asshole, Jerry, trying to bring bald, less hot chick a gift. Now, her reaction when Jerry shows up is to literally leap out of her bed and run away without even grabbing her keys or anything

she literally runs away from them I have struck out with a lot of girls in my lifetime I have never had one just run from the room when I show up Jerry move on bro yeah Jerry it's time to give up. Look you're gift from the airport mall looks nice but when they get up and leave like your spider it's time to call it off. It's weird. He comes in and he's like oh she just she just ran out. Well just so you know he starts talking to the friend instead. I've been stalking Amber Rose over there just please tell it. Well she knows that's the whole nature of this whole thing. It doesn't matter. Just please tell it well. She knows that's the whole nature this whole thing

Doesn't matter just give her this stalker gift bag Got some nice stuff Her dolls Yeah, there's some very serious stalker shit going on But her friend is encouraging the fuck out of it. She's like, you know, yeah No, I'm sure she's gonna break any moment now It's like she was just telling you she would basically rather deep throw it off fucking broken plate glass window than talk to this human being and you're telling him no no she's gonna come around any minute. And this is where we're dying for the day.

Where we see her like full face for the first time and she has one blood of eyeshadow on her forehead and that is it. This is the makeup they chose for that character in the scene. Also, when Jerry's declaring his love for her to the less attractive Angry Bird friend, he says, quote, she's the only girl I love in this campus. Yeah, yeah, it seems like a weird restriction, right? I mean, it's stolen straight from my vows and that's fine. That's fine. You're my favorite girl in the room. Yeah. You're the most beautiful girl in this entire... All of Washington Heights.

So, yeah. So now we get the Jerry scene and then we cut to the same goddamn scene, except Jerry's not there anymore, and the girls are dressed differently, but we're in the same room with the same characters. And apparently in this scene, they're working on their homework and she's ignoring Jerry's calls. Yeah, and she has, Fat Amber Rose has Valentine's Day chocolate containers on her wall. Yep, as a decoration.

Yep, and I wanna point out the folly on this phone is fucking amazing. it like with the phone Starts ringing it's a different ringtone every time and it just fills the room with sound and they react to it like two and a half seconds early Really good really well done and she says when he calls her a second time does he want to give me low battery? Yes, he does baby, yes he does. Uh, it's fucking amazing. There's also her friend starts to argue on Jerry's behalf again here and there's fucking fantastic moment where she goes,

you know, you don't know what he wants. You have not even given him a five second chance and it's like, what does her friend think he wants from her? Think he wants to play words with friend, he wants to hide his candy crush? What does her friend think he wants from her? Think he wants to play words with friend, he wants to... He doesn't care any crush. He doesn't care any crush. He doesn't care any crush. He doesn't care any crush.

Also, apparently her phone just doesn't have an ignore option. And also, is it just me or do they show us this dude's phone number? Yes, it is a real number. I will bet anything in the world I could call that cast member. And that guy would be like, stop it seriously. Stop it. I'm working on Vultures of Horror 27. I know.

And just in terms of general message here, it's not clear that Jerry's the bad guy for being a terrifying stalker. It seems like the movie thinks like Quinn is being a bitch about getting stalked. She's not being reasonable with her stalker. That's the theme we're getting. if if that's not what they mean they've done a terrible job of presenting that because now we're gonna cut to Jerry thinking

about how awesome he isn't wondering what the fuck is up with Quinn why she won't fuck him already yeah I love Eli's note to bring us into this scene as well I'm the king of this school, the top rated player of all time. That is worth or something. No, I was actually talking about your scene description, which is that we cut to prison or houses because Africa is terrible. Yeah, it looked like are they jail? They look like jails. Not clear. I just wrote a, and Jerry is stepping outside of his prison cell, and he seems to love the smell of toilet wine in the mornings.

Right. Smells like failure. Jerry looks like a black fan fiction drawing of Jafar. Like you should be on some genderqueer person's tumbler somewhere. He kind of looks like a werewolf that doesn't go all the way back to human face. And kind of like a vampire. He looks like Edward Fuck Jacob. And I'm also a Nigerian guy.

Team Jerry. Team Jerry. And in his V.O. right. So he walks out of his prison home campus thing and his his his Brain is telling us that no girl has ever turned him down before so he's a rapist, I think and And then his buddy show up to chill with him and I I want to point out okay in this scene. There's like three Caged doors or whatever and there's a bunch of people standing over unrelated to the scene by the third door

You know like everything we need to see is in the first door three doors down There's a bunch of people standing there and hanging out in the scene the camera keeps cutting to those people like I'm the fuck are those guys up to they have nothing to do with the action But the scene keeps cutting over to them like look these are three different black men And they never come up. It never comes up again Yeah, we just kind of I think the cameraman was hoping they'd like hang out with them He was just like hey you guys want to be in the movie? pretty lonely to like

You guys are in the movie too What if you were in the movie too you'd have to come to lunch with us. Yeah, afterwards What if you were in the movie too you'd have to come to lunch with us. Yeah, afterwards So yeah, it's like and his buddies are there to talk to him about what his voiceover was just talking to us about Which is how he should just move on and not worry about that that girl any any more And he when his friend says that he turns to me goes, it's obvious you don't extremely long pause. Know my next line, do you perhaps? I don't remember.

And I honestly, I think that's why we kept cutting to those three unrelated people in the other room because I don't think they could get any of these actors through two lines without having to stop and look at a script. Right. So congratulations, we've made it halfway. and then this scene ends as though the cameraman got arrested and I certainly hope you weren't attached to any of those characters we just

spent the last 10 minutes with because we will literally never see any of them again. Good, I was nope, I was not at all. I didn't know. I did like that one, girls asked. So as you're digesting that little nugget of what the fuckery will pause for a well-earned break But before we do let me give act three the hard sound will the frisbee earring to girl win the beauty contest Will the new charm that good buddha ga lady is getting be enough to fend off the vultures? Will Jerry's efforts at courtship pay off who the fuck knows?

Certainly not the second half of this movie, but what the hell you made it this far you might as well stick around for the unrelated conclusion of Vultures of horror too Post colonoscopy Hi, I'm Tony D of Mr. Kodjo's power plant security city planning and free money employ him and we got an amazing Sale going on this week. Just check out these deals! Well, hello there. I'm the little girl with the inside-out eyelids from a different episode. I asked Mr. Kojo for money in the amount that I got was enough to get me a new house,

a new apartment and these robot eyelids you can see I'm wearing. Thanks Tony D. When I needed a place not only to put the power plant, but meant to protect it, I knew that Mr. Kojo's power plant security, city planning, and free money for widows were just the best option, but they were quite literally the only option. Mr. Kojo's power plant security, city planning, and free money in Poryom, because if this character doesn't pay off in the next 12 of these Vultures movies, I'm going to find these actors and kill them. So we couldn't help but notice that last time we finished a vulture of horror movie, we were promised exploding skeletons, attack birds, and all we got was a lady blowing on a fire pot, and while that was disappointing, it does leave us wanting more. So with that in mind, we've designed a trailer for next week's episode that we hope appeals

to you at the same way that Wicked Vultures now appeals to us. Quick, Eli, get on my razor scooter. I'll take my talking chipmunk dicks with me. Pick at you. Watch out, it's a laser camel. The world's tallest water slide. And here's a diagram of how you do a puzzle in a thunderstorm. Cool, let's describe it!

Next week on God-awful movies. Pikachu. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- from the first movie that the good guys wife from the first movie that hasn't been in this movie yet at all waking up in her nightgown and if she'd said oh my god I dreamed the first half of a terrible Nigerian movie it would have made just as much sense. Right and more actually. I don't mind watching porn for women but if I'm gonna watch the beginning of porn for women there better be some end of porn for women, which is horrible fucking. Because all they do, it's supposed to be like appealing romance talk for women, but the mastery of the language is at a second grade level, so she's just like,

you treat me like every day is Valentine's Day, and he's like, every day should be Valentine's Day. And I'm like, well like well no the chocolate sales aren't sustainable Like you have to have a chocolate based economy There's a lot of reasons why everyday shouldn't be Valentine's day This scene is the movie version of when black people share memes about hitting their kids. I don't understand it I don't get it Jesus we're never gonna get ish mail back on this show. No, no, no, he just get ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha There's also this great moment. They got the background Song is going or whatever and for just a second he starts singing along to the background music like really loudly But doesn't know the words very clearly

It's awesome. It's actually Casey and JoJo all my life that's playing always our song with my first girlfriend very Exciting learn to play it really badly on piano. Touched my penis best day ever. There's a piano and a penis right here in this room if you wouldn't mind. Are you a fan? We'll find out. If you get drunk enough, he'll cry that song in you. Exactly. The song or the penis, we're both. So, okay, so in that-

No one ever find a way to love you. Special is me. Special is me. I'm done. Okay, good. That's it for that scene. Apparently, you have learned enough. It's on to the supermarket.

With other characters we haven't met. This entire movie is just, it's about what a bunch of characters do between Plots is that so we don't get scared like we Just want to know how Harry Potter was between books six and seven you know What did he have for brunch that day? Oh, I would read an entire Harry Potter book about just Harry like fucking around his house just like Stu I think the TV's broken. It's not broken Harry the remote's out of charge Why would they even why would you even have to charge the remote? Why don't you just second one the TV and for the cable can't we just get a universe?

Wand it man. Yeah, right. But yeah, we go with supermarket that apparently sells just boxed juice. I do. Certainly their primary. Boxed juice and shampoo. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I guess they're doing inventory. No, okay, so wait. My racism is going to come out again. Which was the older woman, is that the wife that we just woke up with? Is that who that was? I think so. Okay, it's her, I guess she runs this grocery store

and her two employees doing inventory or something. And while they're doing that, a new different character shows up, having been beaten by her husband, who is also not a character we know. Yeah. And all of us are unsure whether or not this movie is pro or against violence.

It was not very clear. No. No. And her response, like the good wife response, it repeatedly is to say, he needs to grow up. Grow up. He smashed her into a coma. Those are the exact words.

Yes. And she's like, she got better, but she's still a witch. Burner. That's the message we're getting. It's crazy. Yeah. He needs to grow awful immature to beat the women in your life unconscious. As I understand it, yeah.

So this weird dark turn, which by the way, again, goes nowhere. We never see this woman again. We don't know her husband. This nothing ever happens because of this, but we needed that scene. So now we cut to the good guy from the last movie, the one who the homeless guy ran up to

and was just like, hey, get out of your Jeep grand Cherokee and give me and my kids money so this is his office and we have no fucking way of knowing that because he is not present in it but he's about to be and there is a widow there asking his secretary and his evil assistance for free money because apparently what he does at this office is give away free money Plan cities and do do nuclear plant Securities that's apparently this guy's business, but yeah, the widow is there asking for money and her assistant and his and her coworker are telling her that that's Assistant and his and her co-worker are telling her that that's not What she's supposed to be doing and this is bad. Yeah, yeah, that pretty much sums it up And I want to point out this is minor, but I want to point out this is not the widow that the two characters

We're talking about from before like earlier. We had two characters talking about a widow for no reason They specifically said that she had four kids this widow has six kids So just like it they might as well have made it the same fucking widow but they didn't there are different widows with a lot of kids they couldn't book that actress again again it wasn't but they didn't even there wasn't even an actress there they were just talking about somebody who wasn't even on screen they couldn't book that concept but yeah so they kick this poor old widow out who's asking for free money and it gets loud and i guess this is when we cut into the good brother from the

origin from the first movie who hears the noise and has to call a secretary who is one room away and say hey come in here and tell me what was going on after you come in here yeah and the secretary goes in she explains to the boss she told the poor widow lady he was too busy and he says may god have mercy on your soul like bit of an extreme reaction like tone that down a little bit right well and she's he's like why did you send her away

and she says because you said you were busy and could be disturbed and he's like so what uh... way and she says, because you said you were busy and couldn't be disturbed and he's like, so what? Um, oh, do you not know what that sentence means? That sentence means I'm supposed to, I can leave if you don't want someone out there to stop people from walking in. If I'm busy and don't want to be disturbed, doesn't mean those words, then I can just head on home. They're opening a subway and out three continents away and I thought I'd check it out.

Wanted to try out some fresh bread for the first time in ever. It's good, can tomatoes are pretty damn good. So yeah, and then he says, well, you go out and find her and he's like, well, what if she's already left, but luckily she has it because she's immediately outside the door. The second theory leaves, it shows back up nine fucking nanoseconds later. She just runs back outside, immediately smashes into the widow. Hey, will you come back inside?

Yeah, I heard I was listening through the door. She gets she gets brought to him slightly quicker than the Vatican and leap. Yeah. And this is where we learn that he's a professional, give money to people, all a just or whatever, because she just comes in and she's like, yeah, I don't have any money, and my husband died, and you had money, so I thought maybe I'd ask you for money. He's like, that's a great idea.

I'll give you money. Here's $5,000 Nigerian dollars. That's, which is literally 15 bucks. 1571, an American money right now yes big but it's enough for her to get an apartment and some food and sell then and then he gives her his business card and this is the craziest moment of the movie he goes here takes like a it's complimentary and I was like oh one of those one of those free business cards I'm gonna get one of those does he normally charge for those?

Crazy there's also this other great line in there He goes it well he's agreeing to give her money says those people who wish for you to die in poverty or die Ratchet are going to be ashamed and she's like well, I, thanks, but I don't think anybody wants me to die. Shut up. People want you to die in poverty and ashamed. Hard enough to balance up on this pedestal without you distracting me, motherfucker. Let's just say there's a certain secretary who's really looking forward to you dying

wretched and being ashamed. I'm just saying, not gonna name any names, but it's her birthday. So yeah, so he gives her the money and we get the vultures of horror auto tune song. Not sure why. I mean, usually that comes up when evil shits going on. But then we cut to the same scene again at a different time and we know that because he's in a different suit Yeah, this time maroon ridiculous burgundy maroons did the entire store get the flu what the fuck What are you doing? Yeah, the leather jacket which I know you hate yeah He's dressed as a fucking bellhop and they never explain why but he calls his Secretary in and in about 85 minutes he manages to explain it's her birthday. Here is a birthday present

You can go home early, but they say it so slowly and with so many compliments for him in between that I just thought that we're gonna fuck I wrote in my notes if they don't fuck I I revolt no TPP no TPP no TNT no BLT I'm not a big fan I don't like tomatoes that much. Yeah so so you mean the sex actor the sandwich and and i can't he met the sandwich and again they could have just put this into the last scene at the end when the widow left he could have said oh and secretary here's your birthday gift and take up but no this had to be a a different scene my note here is two thirds of the way two thirds haha yeah none of this matters none of this matter. We learn more by watching them eat lunch in silence

That would be a more useful scene. We learn about my dark. I was I'm checking the time every four seconds Oh my god, why do four seconds takes so long? Yeah, she gives in the birthday present She goes outside and starts to just thank God for having such a nice boss She's like, oh my boss is so great. God bless him, continue to bless him forever and ever. And then mean coworker from earlier who turned away the widow comes and snatches her present away like he's gonna fucking steal it. Right. Right. Like he's an eight year old boy fucking with the seven year old girl he likes. And then they talk about how nice the boss is. Right. Well, and again, I want to point out, look look I've been a boss. I generally give people their birthday off

You know, I just don't I don't bring them into work and then like make them work most of the day I'm gonna be like oh, but if you want to cut out an hour early that'd be okay, so you know Yeah, it's nice and all but it's not like unusually nice for a boss and they needed Multiple characters to have multiple monologues and dialogues about how nice this character is. This was like a sex role play for Hillary Clinton. She's a kind of two-gone teenager to be like, stay how likable I am. It is because she is a grandmother. She is so appealing. Say it again. Say it again. Say I'm funny. Tell him I'm funny.

70 odd minutes, you get it? Get it, guys, they were odd. So we got to probably the greatest scene in this movie. This is the hanging outside with the kids scene. This is the husband and wife, the good brother and his wife from the first movie hanging out the driveway with their kids what are they doing hanging out the driveway with their kids well they're having a dance off they're having the most disappointing and

stumbling dance off slash dance circle i've ever seen black people captured on camera it was actually kind of nice is a white guy to be like, okay, all right, some of them are exactly as good as this is me. I could jump in on this sold train. Yeah, I look cool right now. My music on here was you got. You got. Lunch by your mom and dad. Oh, crazy billion or money. We remake this where he's just jumps into their dance circle, but it's just all fuck dancing Like he's just eye contact with that 12 year old the whole time and he's just like just

Worming up on that car just warming up on that car like the gas is open that by the time he's done with it Unbuzz that latch from the inside Leave me dance before having it. It's a crazy billionaire money doesn't include a heath twerk ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha apparently and with all that important shit out of the way we can close this very vital scene of people that we haven't really met in a driveway. And again you said it before this is by far the best scene in the movie. It is the only thing that's happened that required the invention of motion pictures. So there's that. This was like a text game of movies.

Yeah exactly. And now we're back at the office and he's dressed in purple and all of the people are whispering business to each other. He looks like he's currently shadowing a genie. Like he's not a genie yet, he's just shadowing a genie. He's not a genie yet. He's just shadowing a genie.

He's not a genie yet. This is Kwame. Well on his way to becoming a genie, aren't you Kwame? I give a little money. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha memory, it's finite. Yeah. So and apparently they're whispering about the security at the new power plant. Right. He handles security for power plants and also money for the projects. For the projects. Yeah. I love it too. Because like clearly they just wanted these guys to be talking

about something kind of business related before he gets this phone call. And what they went with was so insane. It's, James says, well, we need to talk about security. And he says, like, yes, yes, well, there will be an army court station right outside of the power plant and police. So security will not be a problem. And then he gets the phone call. And it's like, it's like, that was just the normal business conversation you guys came up with, an army corps stationed at a power plant. The fuck is wrong with your country people?

This movie is like someone water-borted, his actual policy is out of Donald Trump. He's just like, I'm gonna put the hobby everywhere. Alright. Oh, put my hand back on my head. I don't want him to go to see. Crazy billionaire money. We're waterboarding Donald Trump. Also, we also have to use in this scene. This is so amazing. We use rolling cuts as we move between the three characters that are talking. Yeah. Just just picture that for a second if you will. And then he gets a call

from his wife. And his wife is going to say she has a headache. She thinks she's getting malaria. Malaria! Malaria! Who sends a text message? Really just stop Instagramming about it. What the hell is this? Malaria?

Why did you tweet me? Right. Right. Look, I get the flu occasionally. I mean, less, actually less actually honestly because flu's are really just your body having an allergic reaction to eggs So don't worry about it I'm not talking about it right now But the truth is that like when I get a flu I usually don't call my fiance and tell her I think I'm getting malaria Now look okay if you're in Nigeria, malaria is really a thing

You know the UST. He malaria is not a thing to worry about. Yes, people really get malaria there, but what you don't do, first of all, you don't self-diagnose malaria. And secondly, you don't just sit down in the grocery shop and say, hmm, I need a fan myself off, or this malaria is really gonna get me today. A little malaria-ish, baby.

I just, Jill Stein says I can self-diagnose malaria. That's why I'm voting for her. She believes in choice. She's asking questions. Skeptic. So, apparently she needs him to come pick her up because she had to take the car in. It had a battery problem, probably a glitch.

I hear the computers and those batteries get glitches. So he's got to leave work to go pick her up. The reason we have to do all of this apparently, the reason we have to establish this is in case you didn't realize that he's the kind of good guy that drops everything to go pick his wife up when she has malnouria. This is, this is if someone took this guy's drunk bachelor party toast and decided to make it into a feature-length film. You know nothing? You know nothing?

He just said, every day is Valentine's Day for him. And he gives money to people, and he could do security for a nuclear. I love you, man. I didn't realize they were making these as strong as they did, and I'm going to go throw up. But I'm fine. I'm fine. My wife has Zika virus.

I'm just going to rub her head for a fine. I'm fine. My wife has Zika virus. I'm just gonna rub her head for a minute Give her a little massage for that. Raise back up there a little bit. So she's got Zika. It doesn't take long to rub her head Grab an orange at the grocery store and you're like, oh, that one's bad. That one is bad. No, that avocado is not coming home with me. This is why I'm not going to the Olympics. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Or Florida.

So, yeah, so the wife now is sitting down in the middle of a grocery aisle and there are people yelling behind her and she asked them to stop yelling. We have a whole scene for that Yep, that's a scene. That's it. Yeah Anyway, so now we Now we cut to two characters that just appeared in this movie and they're in a field But they're from the last movie. They are we have some something to go on. Yes That's his brother The good guy's brother his girlfriend broke up with him in the last movie because all the good guys nephew

Right nephew because all he wanted was sex and so he's chasing her again because he wants to get back together Yeah, he's just loafing around joblessly and he says he misses her and she says that he only misses her pussy and he's like, well, yeah, I mean, that's what I meant. Yeah, he's begging for a second chance. His nose is wide open. His nose is wide open. So obvious. So wide.

So, and then we get some great dialogue here. She says, you have to learn to take care of your girl, but I'm quite certain that word doesn't exist in your dictionary. And I'm like, which word? I think it's girl. I think it's girl. I think you're a word in the dictionary. Take.

Take. Is it of, I don't, there's no one word that you can take out of that anyway. Yeah. Right. He promises to start hustling and she says in order for him to prove it to her, he needs to raise a thousand Nigerian dollars, which just to remind you is three dollars. Three dollars. That's three.

When this episode releases, you will find it go fun me. That I have put up, it is for three dollars to help Superman fuck his girlfriend. Please help Superman fuck his girlfriend. We're going for three dollars. If you contribute three dollars You get nothing The satisfaction and knowing that that creepy dude is off the street for his poor money Yeah, trick starter dot com is another good spot. Yeah

Yeah, no, and she says like basically I'll have sex with you if you have more money But not in a hurry way you don't have to give me the money you just have to have it I guess And so any goes like where am I gonna get that kind of money from and of course the Vulture a horror theme starts And I'm like he's gonna use evil Vulture magic to raise his girlfriend fucking money, isn't he? He's gonna sell so many cans of tomato He's gonna sell so many cans of tomato stew. Oh man. $3.00 worth of no-ter. I don't have those $3.00 dollars in one.

Easy. Although, let's turn that criticism inwards for a second because the best solution we came up with for using the Vultures of Horror was street performance. How two jugglers in one magician are we? That we were like, oh man, you could build such a good crowd. You get enough hat lines with the Vultures of Horror. Other people would rob a bank, but we're like no man

You're getting central park The cops we've been around you can make oh 20 50 bucks a show I'm gonna jump over this vulture watch Get closer went through these hoops of fire So yeah, so now guys are taking tack the vultures of heart I'm gonna ask Might as well Two New Yorkers get that joke everyone else is like the car talk guys

They also could have been the vultures of our we don't know that they weren't because they're from Boston I'll probably add something to do with that bombing where were you clicking crack. Oh Click and clacked did Boston's 9-11 Because it was easy That's why they did it So and so now hopefully you're done with all those characters because this movie is we're gonna see any of them again again Now it's on to completely new characters. These will be the village elders And they're sitting around deciding to make one of these characters the new chief

And I just have this pang of white guilt on this scene because I realized that all the furniture that they have in this scene is Shit that I threw away when I moved Yeah, but that's okay because this guy's nomination speech is only a little bit better than Hillary's. Right now. Brought me back into it. But yeah, but now I wrote my nose, but wait a minute, it didn't old evil vulture brother want to beat chief?

Wait a minute, this is getting complicated. I know what's going on in this scene. He did, but this other guy, Lucky, seems the most credible. Yes, and I'm pretty sure it's his leopard print FES. It's just credibility that's how you pick a leader Yeah, you can tell he's the chief because he has a cab driver's car seat on his head Leather tunic in a cow hat. He's wearing a red leather tunic and a cow hat I had to double check and make sure that I wasn't losing my goddamn mind whether tunic in a cow hat he's wearing a red leather tunic and a cow hat.

I had to double check and make sure that I wasn't losing my goddamn mind. So yeah, yeah. And this is when they explain to that lucky the new chief, his dad was a good person so he must be good too. That's how it works. The offspring of a lion can never chew grass. Yeah. So if you'd like your offspring of a lion can never chew grass. Yeah, that's so if you'd like your offspring of a lion can never chew grass to sure got off of movies dot com forward. Great shock or a key key posters. Um so yeah and and also the

the fucking guy lucky the guy who's the new chief is possibly the worst actor in this film and that's saying something. He goes like once again, um, line looks off stage. I want to thank you very much. He needed to contemplate the line. I want to thank you very much. Yeah. And then he quotes Spider-Man's uncle. Yeah. Great power, great response. Paraphrases anyway, yeah, it comes close. Yeah, and so, and this is also where they realize, or where they established that Kwame, who is the evil, vulture dad from the first one,

is gonna be pretty pissed off about that. Right, but hey, you know the great rule of movies, which is tell, don't show. So now we need to see and have them tell that story and show it to us again now yes that's what happens yeah so now they they head over to Kwame's house so that they can tell him that he that he's not gonna be the chief that lucky is gonna be the chief instead so he's chilling on his porch sitting on a throne listening to a 1998 boom box. Yes, he's got a golden throne. Yes. And there's also like a shitty falling apart picnic bench that he keeps those two things on the same porch. Right. And lucky arrives and lucky is

wearing a silly hat. So I guess part of his contract was that he had to wear a silly hat in every scene. Like he agreed to improvise part of his contract was that he had to wear a silly hat in every scene Like he agreed to improvise all of his lines, but he had to get a different hat for every scene And again, I want to point out this is this happens over and over again in this movie the last scene These people were leaving to go talk to Kwame now. They're showing up in different outfits. Yeah, including a like a tilted fedora this time But he's dressed like he's going to Whole Foods in Brooklyn. Fuck you. And so Kwame is very clearly super pissed

that he wasn't made new chief. Right, and the argument that they have isn't about whether or not he should have been chief, it's whether or not witch hunting is a good idea because this movie is pro witch hunting. This movie is a teddy bear that teaches eugenics it's like a minion's movie was a thunderfoot video it's the fucking crazy thing in the world okay so they say that Kwame was suspended for the out from the elders council for an unspeakable offense

which is why they won't tell us what the fuck it was I guess because it's unspeakable but when they say that to him he's, but you guys are in favor of witch hunting and they're like, well, yes. And the movie's just like, well, of course they're in favor of what we can just leave the witches out there to steal people's penises. Haha. Haha. Oh my god.

And so, so I wrote, uh, what my fashion note here is that I have no pants that are the same material as my shirts. I will never be African elder cool. We're gonna change that. You know, have that camo pajamas jumpsuit that the guy had. Oh my god. That's what we're really adding adds to the show for it. So that you know, a series of jumpsuits. When shiny jambies, dammit, I want to go to bed shiny. So yeah, so he yeah so he they break the news here that the skinny dude is now going to be the chief and Kwame fucking loses it yeah because I'm

a very stern fuck off also by the way his great shock or a key key poster is now on the porch yeah it's like a security blanket I see just carries it around with him it looked like a wall poster of these movies on his house. Yeah, I'm sure that's what it was. I'm sure that's like the advertising material for this soap opera, yeah. So he runs them off the porch and they brought him a gift apparently.

Some, I'm guessing magic olive oil, that's what we've seen in that container before. But he tells them to take it with him, get the fuck off his porch because he's gonna be chief no matter what no matter what And then we get Pew pew pew for absolutely no reason I'm thrown it in there. Yeah, that's what happens next And then it's it's it's over that it comes up and it says the story has just began and I'm like not really though It's gonna begin in the next one I would think

But yeah, that's it for the movie that the movie is over and then it closes with a preview for the next one filled with way Better shit than we just saw yeah people are gonna turn into skeletons. They're gonna drive in cars A bird will laser people people will disagree about business A bird will laser people people will disagree about business Throw that in there and they spoil the shit out of the next movie because they let us know that One of the guys one of the main characters is gonna die by what they reveal in the yeah, it's Horrible unless of course she can just magically turn into a skeleton when people try to rape her We'll find out. Also, I have to point this out because both Heath and I have the exact same note here about Fat Cornel West

getting attacked by flying chairs in the preview. God damn it, that guy was a dead ringer for Cornel West, wasn't he? Just a little younger and a little flatter. I'd actually be Cornel West and he just let himself go. But why not get that character going in this one? He seemed interesting. He's getting attacked by flying office chairs.

So, what going on? There wasn So not going on there wasn't the time There wasn't the time they had so much to establish and never play out in this movie. Yeah, exactly Yeah, and apparently yeah the kid who needed the money to fuck his girlfriend will yell At a car in the next one looks pretty good and also laser vultures and people too close to the microphone And then more laser vultures and people too close to the microphone. And then more laser vultures. And an exploding car that looks super realistic, super legit graphics on the exploding car. And that's it. I bet this was a preview for the preview that's the end of the next movie.

Oh, it's just a... So just to clarify, for those who are confused, this movie was not a preview it was a movie well or or what if the whole movie was a preview except for this last little preview part which was the movie which was a that's right. We're so deep down this whole now. Oh draw me a maze. He's draw me a man. Yeah. Yeah. And then it says to God be the glory. And I'm thinking they probably got a letter from God's lawyer asking for his new to be taken off of this piece of shit.

They just didn't, you know, it's YouTube. They can get away with it. Yeah. You and Tim T. Bockin start giving me credit when he can throw the ball at someone. You can make a movie in English. And I feel like I just want to throw out this out there because I'm watching the credits again. And I feel like I just want to throw out this other because I'm watching the credits again and like the last one there are 55 people listed as drummers and only 21 listed as crew

and I just I'm not sure but I'm pretty sure that the lyrics in part of the Vultures of Horror Song is evil ones are everywhere looking forward to Detroit. The Vultures are from hell. That's right. I can understand why they'd be looking forward to Detroit if they come to hell. That's just off the highway, yeah. And I guess since that was the whole thing or something were done.

So like I said, there was no way this one was gonna live up to the last one. But like, honestly, how big a drop are we talking here? We're talking the second Avengers movie. We talking Jurassic Park 2 or like downright Catty Shaq 2 oh this could have been called vultures to the phantom menace this was The kingdom of the crystal vulture yet they're not good movies It's it's kind of like your second night of food poisoning is it worse is it better and you can have a third night of

You have a third night of food poisoning you have a bowl So like I don't know is part of me All right, well obviously we can't rape this movie with a thumb-based scale without highlighting how much smaller white men's thumbs are so instead of that I'll simply ask you this what is the dumbest thing you could piss away magical laser vultures on that would still be a Smarter use of them than we see in these movies. Oh, I'm gonna say Gardening the Benghazi Embassy On your bust hashtag never trump. Wait no B and D just just the never-trop BGD to no CBT And Eli

I'm gonna go with using it for five star reviews on iTunes I'm gonna go with using it for five star reviews on iTunes And of course I've already put my nickel down on street performance so Well, that doesn't for a review of vultures of horror too. That's not gonna do it for the episode just yet Because we still need to get you all giddy for next week. So Eli tell us what's on deck? What the bleep do we know? For realsies this time? We promise. Yeah. It's fun.

Yeah, I mean, it's gonna suck, cause like, Si babe was on and she was actually fucking hilarious and then the internet gods did not smile upon us and the audio was lost. But we annotated the fuck out of it. So we're still gonna do that movie. And. I'm more.

Yeah. Well, see, that's when I was wondering, if Tom and Cecil didn't put her up to it, they're like, you know, one time E-Lake came on our show and the audience got all fucked up. We need you to do that for us, you need you to, anyway. It was not snarky. Yeah.

But we're definitely doing it at this time, so we promise, we promise. I'll remember all the funny stuff we said about it last week. All that stuff again. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. So with that to look forward to, we'll bring up episode 51 to a merciful close. Special thanks to that Dutch Ramon, who actually did record an episode with us.

It was fucking hilarious and we're so sorry that it got lost. She crushed it. It was amazing. Anyway, but she has agreed to come on at another time. So we're going to get her back and it's gonna be really funny And this time the audio ones won't get lost of course also a huge thanks to all the patreon donors that help make the show go If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash god awful and There by earn early access to every episode

You can also help us a ton by leaving us a five-star review on iTunes and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms And if you enjoyed this show be sure to check out our civilly shows the skating atheist, and the skeptic crowd available on iTunes, Stitcher, and wherever all its podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email Godoffalmovies at gmail.com. All the music used in this episode was written and performed by Ryan Slotnik of evil giraffes on Mars and was used with permission. If you like what you hear, hear more by following the links on the show notes for this episode. Thanks again for giving us a chuck of your life this week. For Heathen, right, Neil Iboznik, I'm Noel Luciens, promising to work hard to earn another chuck next week. Until then, we'll leave you with a breakfast club close.

Vol. Vol. Vol. Vol. Vol. Vol. Vol. Vol.

Vol. Vol. Vol. Vol. Vol. Vol. Vol. Vol.

Vol. Vol. Vol. Vol. hit a home run all by himself. Wicked Vultures introduced 18 more characters until Eli started giving them racist nicknames in his notes and was fired. Whiteboard. Vultures, but Vultures, but got down, got down. Vultures, wait a minute. I hope That was important Ripping up the nearest thing I could find I'm pretty sure those notes I've already those weren't hundreds were they You can tape them back but Pikachu

I don't know if anyone thinks Pikachu is as funny as I do. At a certain point it's for me. What else are we doing here? Do we lose you, Eli? No, no, I just, I didn't have an end to the sentence. Oh, okay, all right, all right. We've been cutting out a little bit, quite a bit, so I'll just jump in. The first time in that sentence was funny.

We've been cutting out a little bit quite a bit, so I'll just jump in. First time in that sentence was funny.